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By @pen.and.pine

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[may-shepard]

Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like "jesus fucking christ there's a corpse in here", herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it's some kind of a prank that they're pulling, but also the people that you know aren't into pranks, or aren't very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you're not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you're supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.

Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can't see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You're taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.

On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won't look at you, the paramedics agree that they've never had a talking corpse before, though they won't question the fact that you're moving on your own.

You're eventually led to a morgue, where you're shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don't really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what's going to happen next.

Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they're like "dude what the fuck, you're not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies" and when you're like "aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body" they have no idea whether you're joking and they don't care, you're just chased out of there.

And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.

And basically that's probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.

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holmes log 1

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Haunted Forest

https://ko-fi.com/owllog

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This is such a bland horror movie, really good for some laughs. This is about as intense as it gets:

Hi friends do you have recommendations for weird old films !!

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Car accents 🐈😺

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Vampires. Of all the horror staples, vampires are the ones I feel the least connection with. Such a fine line, for me, between vampires and "some guy who's kind of a dick." Bit of a challenge to put a spin on the idea that makes me sit down and pay attention. Like, sure sure, keep your draculas and edgy goths or emos and nihilists, they're not it for me.

We got pretty close with Near Dark though. Southern fried vampire found family with Bill Paxton rocking a leather jacket and ray bans. Really something, mmm, something to it, like those first garage bands that were almost punk. You got Martin and A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. All these little corner pieces of something like my kinda Vampire. You can see the picture and the rejects. No Dracula, no 30 Days of Night, no Interview With A Vampire (movies and books mind you). Something about those ones that work for me, the lack of romanticism of death, the humanity and pragmatism of immortality, the amoral consumption of humans. The unaffected coolness that comes with not trying to be cool.

All the years pacing around the edge of the Vampire, but make it rock, I think my first complete album fell into my lap, the movie that exploded into beautiful technicolor in the middle of all those outlines. It's as if everything snapped into focus all at once.

The Funeral [Cenaze] (2023), is a Turkish movie which starts out very simple, where a man who drives a refrigerated van (Cemal) is told to hide the body of a woman for a month. Take her away, make her disappear. As the woman, Zeynep, slowly becomes less dead, the thread of her experiences are drawn out, and Cemal falls deeper under her thrall to provide the human flesh she needs to grow strong. The Funeral moves in a slow spiral of hopelessness from a bitter cold world into something like a fantasy, a blood soaked fairy tale where Cemal and Zeynep can thrive in a way neither could in the dingy world of cheap motels and office buildings they came from. The camera work is gorgeous and the actors spend lingering moments finding their emotional place in the story - the shift in the relationship of Cemal and Zeynep from horrified caretaker to empathetic thrall is silent, and Zeynep herself barely speaks any real words. Her language is physical, agonic breathing and growls, predation and hunger. She is the synthesis of every vampiric concept into something that puts all the organic physicality of a vampire together with their uncanny supernatural power, and awe inspiring nobility.

What is the story if not the story of finding a way back from being dead, a way of finding magic in a broken world. It's beautiful and true and the vampire which feels complete for me.

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lurking beneath autumn’s glow 🎃✨

get wallpapers ★ twitter ★ art prints (35% off ^^)★ support me

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reblog if your inbox is always open for new members of the fandom who may be a little shy or intimidated. doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a “popular blog”; everyone here is equal and if you’re reading this as a new person/someone considering entering the fandom, we will not turn you away!!!! talk to us!! make friends!! i more than understand being shy but trust me this fandom is chill come join us in this hellhole

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Holy moly this is the cover of The Return? I love it and it's spawning a million headcanons about the minutes following Reichenbach and everything Holmes must have felt and done. He was minutes away from Watson and he chose to run in the opposite direction for reasons of his own. He also looks so intrepid. Also like he's contemplating the broken corpse of his defeated foe. Incredible

Untitled (cover of Collier's 9/26/1903 publication). The Adventure of the Empty House. Frederic Dorr Steele, 1903

Source

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hope is a skill

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Rhys Darby interview on That Christmas at London Film Festival 2024

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Hazel McNab, Last Light, linocut.

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I just feel like some of us could use this right now. You know, as a treat.