#i have a whole. story and theory that goes with this if anyone is interested in hearin me ramble 👀

[grailknightmonty]

canary of the iron mine

thinkin about what or who could be lurking in the depths of that mine under the iron shop..

[starhvney]

𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐃𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: garroth, laurance, travis, dante, zane, katelyn, & nana

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: what i think they'd be like on a roadtrip!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: fluff, slice of life

𝐂𝐖: none!

𝐀/𝐍: i miss going on roadtrips i haven't been on one in so long

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇

☆ calls shotgun immediately and insists it’s his spot for the rest of the trip (oldest sibling syndrome)

☆ always buys something at every rest stop, whether it’s an icee, chips, or some stupid trinket

☆ bought a key chain one time that flashed the words “bad boy” on it because he thought it was so funny. he was devastated when it stopped working one day

☆ likes being the gps guy because sometimes he’ll find a cool place to stop and check out on the way (to make the most of the trip, of course)

☆ talks about town lore when you pass through somewhere interesting

𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

☆ he has the best road trip playlist and made sure to plan out how long it was depending on how far you’re traveling

☆ honestly he’s probably the one driving for most of the trip if not all of it, he finds driving relaxing and also doesn’t trust other people to drive safely

☆ likes to play fun talking games like never have i ever or would you rather, or just talking about life

☆ will play the license plate game or i spy to stay alert

☆ if he’s not talking he’s really enjoying the playlist

☆ if the road trip is super long he’ll agree to switch out of driving for a bit to take a nap

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐒

☆ is really invested in the license plate game

☆ he’s always cracking jokes and is definitely the type of guy to look in other people’s windows on the road and guess their life story

☆ gets invested when a car sticks with yours for a long time and gets dramatic when they finally split away

☆ plays multiplayer games on his phone with whoever wants to play or sends memes to the group chat (you guys are literally in the same car)

☆ will suddenly start discussing conspiracy theories or will tell ghost stories about the towns you pass through

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄 

☆ he’s either talking the whole time or passed tf out no in between

☆ says “i could go for some fast fast food right now” literally anytime you guys pass a fast food restaurant

☆ also cracks jokes and will add on to travis’s guesses on the lives of oblivious travelers

☆ makes really exaggerated and out of place guesses because he thinks it’s funny

☆ it’ll be a grandma driving in her old chrysler and he goes “how much you wanna bet she’s got a pound of weed in her trunk”

☆ like man what the hell are you talking about

𝐙𝐀𝐍𝐄

☆ irritated if people are talking too much (dante and travis)

☆ puts on noise canceling headphones and only tunes back in if food or a rest stop is involved (he’s busy listening to my little pony infection au lore/j)

☆ has a pillow, blanket, and hoodie on at all times for maximum comfort

☆ another sleeper. surprisingly doesn’t mind if you use him as a pillow or ask to share his blanket, he’s really comfy with all those layers on

☆ will lightly shove you away if you start moving too much, though

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍

☆ pretty chill the whole time as usual

☆ sits in the very back and mostly will watch the scenery

☆ she brings a book or watches a movie, and doesn’t mind sharing her headphones with you to watch it together 

☆ unless you’re traveling in a car with tv screens installed, then she has a small travel case with a ton of burned cds (if you know you know) and everyone can join in

☆ if she gets tired of socializing with everyone she puts in some earbuds and takes a nap

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀

☆ packs a whole bag of snacks and homemade sweets for everyone

☆ checks pretty often if anyone wants to take a break at a rest stop and stretch their legs (she’s pretty jittery and doesn’t want to be the only one constantly asking to stop the car)

☆ also participates in the license plate game, but also likes to play the slug bug and yellow car game

☆ made the mistake of slug bugging katelyn and got punched back in the arm

☆ gets really addicted to cute cat games on her phone and accidentally spends a bunch of money on passes

☆ she brings some sort of craft or sketchbook for the trip. you notice she’s been quiet for a while before looking over and seeing she’s already crocheted half of a scarf and a hat

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[sepublic]

Interesting that pop culture portrays Van Helsing as an experienced, seasoned vampire hunter, when it's pretty clear in the novel that this is his first go around with the whole thing, his first confirmation they actually exist, and in other words he's basically winging it and hasn't necessarily thrown a punch in his entire life (Which means he can’t just throw hands with Dracula, he needs research and backup to organize the perfect trap where they won’t be instantly killed). VH doesn’t always know what’s going on, he’s figuring things as he goes along; Like yeah he's HEARD of vampires, but it's never been anything prominent to him.

If anything, his past with vampires is probably similar to a lot of readers; Familiar with the concept, knows some of the details but not all of them, and definitely presumes them fake. He sees something going on with his patient and is like Haha damn that's just like a vampire, wouldn't it be crazy if... And then he slowly starts settling into conspiracy theory mode when more and more dots show up to conveniently connect, as he does the obligatory Protagonist Searching Stuff Up bit and realizes Mein Gott!!! It might be a vampire!!!

But then at the last second VH reminds himself, Now hold on, have I actually SEEN this vampire??? But it won't do anyone harm if I added some garlic flowers, right...? And then it just gradually escalates from there into full-on paranoia and dread that vampires exist and VH needs to desecrate the dead, and then he finally gets confirmation when he sees an Undead Lucy. What the fuck.

I think there's an argument to be made that Van Helsing was doubting himself just as much as Seward and the others initially did, if not more so, and he can’t even talk to anyone about it; So there’s an elation where you finally talk to others and realize it’s really happening, you’re not crazy.

This just ties into the theme of recording that which you did see, which is indisputable, because it’s evidence and proof. So you can be certain you aren't totally insane, and can distinguish facts from assumptions and theories if necessary; Especially when one needs to consider other explanations for the same symptoms. There’s a relief confirming what is and isn’t real to dispel self-doubt, like there was for Jonathan, who also suffered from Dracula’s gaslighting distorting his perception of reality.

I think all of this makes Van Helsing's actions and secrecy a lot more understandable when handling Lucy; If you hired a doctor and he suddenly started bringing up vampires, you might be inclined to think he's insane, doesn't know what he's talking about, and has read too many vampire stories and probably believes in 'alternative' medicine. Van Helsing still has an image and reputation to uphold here, and if it's gone, he can't actually be there to help Lucy if he turns out to be right.

That isn't to say he isn't without critique, especially in later portions of the novel, but you can kinda see where this underdog stance of "I'm right and the others around me are wrong" gets vindicated and thus develops into a bit of arrogance later down the line; Particularly, in presuming his disagreements with Mina to be no different than his secrecy with Seward and Mrs. Westenra.

In the end, VH could be described as a character who wonders if he's in the novel Dracula (compared to Jonathan who knows he's in a horror story of some kind but can't name the genre), but then has to remind himself this is reality... If this is a story, it’s probably just some medical drama. And when VH does accept he's in the novel Dracula, he assumes his character development and the lessons he learns are straightforward.

[cheekinpermission]

I wanna talk about the scene in the museum with Azul...

(SPOILERS FOR BOOK 3 AHEAD. ALSO LOTS OF RAMBLING! :D)

During Ch. 38 of Book 3, Azul and Yuu have a short conversation post-overblot in the underwater museum place. I always felt that this bit of dialogue was weirdly charged? The whole scene felt very intimate to me (and the soft music in the background doesn't help lmao), but I never knew WHY since nothing said was inherently romantic.

So, I went back and re-read through every post-overblot and realized that Azul is the only who who has a one-on-one conversation with Yuu after their overblot??

It's rare enough to have one-on-one conversations between Yuu and another character, but then Azul goes a step further. He's the only one to open up to Yuu about his problems:

Some of the other overblot boys talk about their problems, but not to Yuu specifically. It's more of a declaration than confiding in someone, you know? (E.g. Riddle talking about how he prefers milk tea even though the rules stipulate lemon tea)

We, the players, are shown flashbacks of the overblot boys to explain how they reached this point but I can't recall if Yuu is privy to this information as well. (It's theoretically possible since Yuu already has visions / dreams of the Great Seven, but no one ever mentions it so who knows. I'm personally on the side of Yuu NOT knowing because it feels a bit invasive that they'd have this knowledge of people who weren't ready to share it.)

Regardless of whether Yuu can or cannot see those flashbacks, Azul is the only one to willingly talk about his motivations to Yuu. For Azul, this is especially important as he's so protective of his image as a clever and upstanding housewarden, and yet here he openly admits to Yuu that he was a bit of a loser as a kid (his words not mine!).

I guess you could argue that he felt there was no reason to hide it anymore since Yuu already saw him as a chubby octopus baby, but he didn't have to talk about it at all if he didn't want to. But he did. On his own. With no prompting. (Really, though. Yuu can either say they want to make sure he puts the photo back or that they're worried about him, and either way he drops his lore on them lol) And then Yuu tries to help him feel better??

To my knowledge, Yuu doesn't do this with any of the other overblot boys, either. I could have missed it during my research, but if they did it wasn't nearly to the same extent as with Azul.

I still don't know why Azul felt like opening up to Yuu. He didn't have to, but maybe he wanted to? Maybe he wanted to try his hand at being genuine for once and felt Yuu was the least intimidating person to do it with (the magicless human that they are). Who knows? I wish there were more scenes like this. It makes Yuu feel more included in the story. I also think it shows a lot of growth on Azul's end to open up about his problems to Yuu of his own volition.

I'm not sure what I wanted to say with this post, only that I wanted to get my thoughts out there about this scene because it always stood out to me. I felt there was always an undercurrent of something and I think it's because this was the only post-overblot private conversation we got with Yuu and an overblot boy, plus the added encouragement from Yuu at the end.

I'm curious to know if anyone felt the same way about this scene or if I'm just imagining things. I'm also interested in hearing any theories why Azul suddenly felt the urge to open up to Yuu, if you've got them!

Thanks for enduring my rambling!

Bonus!

Azul's so funny for trying to play it off all cool like he isn't doing flips and princess twirls in his head rn. Yuu laid it on THICK. We all know he's freaking out internally.

[lex-loudestwoman]

The Whole Story

Before we begin, a disclaimer: I believe that Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are in a romantic relationship together. I've come to this conclusion carefully by reading all the signs Taylor has given us through her lyrics, media presence, clothing & jewelry choices, marketing, visuals, and interviews. This is all a theory of what I think has gone down between Karlie and Taylor since 2013.

2013 & Earlier - The Beginning

VS Fashion Show 2013: The first official meeting of Karlie & Taylor was at the 2013 VS Fashion Show.

This may not have been their true first encounter (s/o @sophietv for her amazing work about this, she outlines all the times Kaylor interacted prior to the fashion show in 2013!).

According to a Teen Vogue interview in 2014, Taylor and Karlie were introduced to each other at the same time that Taylor met Emma Stone by Andrew Bevan of Teen Vogue. That was in 2008 at the Young Hollywood Awards.

After that first meeting in 2008, Taylor attended a number of fashion shows that Karlie walked in: Tommy Hilfiger Spring Show (9/16/2009); Rodarte Spring 2012 show in NYC (9/13/2011); Jean-Paul Gauthier in Paris (9/30/2012), Elie Saab Spring/Summer 2013 Show (10/3/2012).

Karlie & Taylor also both attended Roberto Cavalli's 40th Anniversary Party (9/30/2010) and the Met Gala in 2011. Teen Vogue included a quote from Karlie about the Met: "Taylor Swift. I was introduced to her at the Met Gala, and we joked about having a baking date!"

January 17th, 2012: The iconic Twitter interaction between Kaylor finally happens! Taylor's cover story with Vogue includes a quote about Karlie: "I love Karlie Kloss, I want to bake cookies with her!" Karlie tweets at her the same day the cover releases.

2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

By the time the 2013 VS Show rolled around, I think they were already dating in some capacity, and the fashion show was a PR move. If Taylor & Karlie were going to become "close friends" in the public eye, they needed a high-profile, highly documented story about how they met to avoid questions about the nature of their close relationship.

Taylor performed I Knew You Were Trouble (Red) for the show, and she danced with Karlie on stage while 'snow' fell.

"So it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round." - You Are in Love, 1989

Karlie later revealed in an interview that she had gotten a dramatic haircut during a Vogue shoot just before the VS Fashion Show began. This haircut was a big deal- she changed her look completely without talking to anyone about it, and Vogue asked her to keep it a secret until the shoot dropped. So she showed the VS Fashion Show like "surprise! New hair!" which drew up quite a buzz. Taylor's hair was pretty blonde and long at the time, not fully bleached but certainly lightened up in comparison to her natural hair color.

"flashback when you met me, your buzz cut & my hair bleached" - Dress, reputation

Karlie posted a ton of pictures from this event (most of which were of her and Taylor) on her Instagram. She also starts posting really sappy Instagram posts about being in love.

I think that the November 14th, 2013 post about receiving your favorite flowers from the person you love is about Taylor Swift, but who's to say!

Then, on Friday, December 13th, 2013 (Taylor's 21st birthday, which I think she references in an interview sometime when she's talking about why she loves the number 13) Karlie posts two sugarplum fairy-related photos, capturing the scene in The Nutcracker where snow falls from the sky as delicate performers dressed in white dance along the stage. This is super Taylor-coded, giving YAIL, dancing in the damn snowglobe again.

Interesting caption there, Kar. "#flashbackfriday to the good old days as a sugarplum fairy myself (aka the day I peaked)"

On December 14th, Karlie posts a solo shot on instagram and tags Josh with photo credit (this is hilarious that we let them just tell us whoever took their picture with absolutely no questioning whether they might be lying???). For some reason, I get the feeling that Taylor took this photo for Karlie the morning after her birthday when they were still together from celebrating the night before.

2014 - You're My Best Friend

Taylor buys her massive Tribeca, NY Penthouse apartment in April 2014. The home was actually TWO penthouse apartments next door to each other, and then she bought a third townhouse unit next door in 2017, and in 2018 she bought an additional 3-bedroom unit in the same building. Go off NYC Real Estate Queen! Taylor moved into her iconic Cornelia Street apartment during a round of renovations at her Tribeca home in 2016.

Big Sur Trip

VS Fashion Show 2014

Vogue Cover

BEST Best Friends

1989 - October 27, 2014

"The inspiration that I found in that [New York] city is kind of hard to describe and hard to compare to any other force of inspiration I've ever experienced in my life." - Taylor Swift, discussing the importance of NYC in an interview with ABC News given on 10/20/2014 ahead of a 1989 promo single release for Welcome to New York (1989). That quote actually reminds me of a lyric from 1989: you understand now why they lost their minds & fought the wars, and why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words (You Are in Love, 1989).

2015 - Hiding in Plain Sight

1989 era so many public appearances blah blah blah they were girlfriends in public kissgate gay whatever, everyone agrees that Karlie & Taylor were dating in 2015 during 1989 World Tour etc

2016 - Beards or Bust

Politics and Jared Kushner

The unfortunate reality of 2016 was that Donald Trump really did get elected president, and then he really did take office and become the President of the United States from January 2017 - January 2021. (Sadly, none of it was a nightmare or even a collective hallucination, all of this actually happened in the good old U.S. of A., yeehaw!!) The sociopolitical climate in the US is charged, fraught, uncertain, and divided. Even worse for Taylor & Karlie is their closeness to Jared Kushner, Josh's older brother who is married to Ivanka Trump. Jared served as a senior advisor to Donnie Boy for his entire term, and he did such a good job being Don's accomplice in negligent, ethnocentric, homophobic, misogynistic leadership from the White House that he was made the Director of the Office of American Innovation (this entire office was created by Trump in March 2017 and dissolved by Biden in January 2021).

I think (and this is JUST speculating, I have no real evidence compiled yet to back this up, but I'll look for it eventually) Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump are also in a queer-bearding relationship contract. I'm not going too far into it now, but there's stuff out there for both Jared and Ivanka, like former Trump staffer Noel Casler's allegations that Jared is gay and in an "arranged marriage" with Ivanka, who doesn't care about his sexuality due to her own sexual opportunism and likely queer identity.

If Jared and Ivanka really are queer and in a non-monogamous, mutually beneficial public relationship that allows them to co-parent their three children, then their involvement in the Trump administration makes things pretty damn unsafe if they ever were found out. So, I think that when Trump was elected, the entire Kushner family had to be super locked down to keep both Jared & Ivanka AND Josh & Karlie (and Mikey and Taylor) safe from any unwanted allegations.

Since the Kushner and Hess families hold international influence, wealth, and power, if all these billionaire men were suddenly outed as gay there could be serious economic and political consequences across the globe.

Not so coincidentally, Karlie and Taylor's last public event together was Lorde's birthday on Monday, November 7th, 2016. The 2016 Presidential Election took place on Tuesday, November 8th, 2016, which sealed the fate of the Kushner name to be attached to Donald Trump's Presidency. I believe that if Trump had not won (which no one expected him to do) Karlie & Taylor would not have started this Love Blackout.

This photo is the end of Kaylor's public friendship, and the start of their Love Blackout (shout out to @sophietv again for being the BEST!!)

Joe Alwyn - A Perfectly Palatable Person

I'm sure when the team realized Trump might actually win the election, they started looking for an acceptable beard. Joe really was a great choice for Taylor's life: he had features similar to Karlie's (light eyes, tall, blonde hair), he didn't have much going on with his own reputation, he had a sparkling clean dating history - because Taylor was his first ever girlfriend, he was a fellow artist and was already media trained, and he was gay, too!

Met at the Met - May 2016

red herring lyric (tied to VS 2013 show)

First Reports - May 16, 2017

The Sun broke the news of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn dating on May 16, 2017. According to Tree Paine a source, they had been secretly dating for months. It's later assumed that they started dating a few months before January 1, 2017, (revealed in a Lover journal released in 2019). Some sleuthing swifties connect a lyrical swap in the acoustic cover of "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire as performed by our girl Taylor (Friday, April 13, 2018) to the diary entry and determine their anniversary was probably September 28, 2016.

Supportive Boyfriend Award? - December 8, 2017

Joe does something of heroic power. He goes to a concert with his popstar girlfriend. He apparently attended Taylor's performance in the iHeartRadio JingleBall in NYC and "stayed for the whole show and they later left together as well." lmao wut, okay, lots of people stayed for the whole show, this is such a boring relationship roll out, especially for Miss Extra!! (lovingly)

Toe is Officially Official - May 8th, 2018

Joe finally takes his instagram off private mode and posts a picture of himself, alone, next to a big cactus. Taylor also posts a picture of herself, alone, near the same big cactus. Alright, I guess that *technically* counts as giving the public some confirmation that you two know each other, but I bet Tree was mad as hell when that was their "official instagram announcement."

Then, Joe joins Taylor at the opening night of the Reputation Stadium tour in Glendale, AZ. He wore a baseball cap low to cover his face and "stay incognito" (Joe, babe, no one knows who you are...but like okay i guess, be weird about your fame that you literally wanted and signed up for). But during the song Gorgeous apparently Taylor pointed at Joe in the VIP tent, while he proudly filmed her.

Taylor travels around the country for the Reputation Stadium Tour from May-November 2018. The Rep tour is SO, SO GAY, like Jesus Christ Lesbian Jesus save us from all the rainbow and bisexual flagging!! Check my twitter thread for a full analysis of how gay the Dress performance is.

Reputation Promo:

Taylor Swift socials

Karlie Kloss socials

Reputation, The Album

Reputation was released on November 10, 2017.I consider Reputation to be Taylor & Karlie's "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing" album. This is the honeymoon, this is the up all night, can't stop, won't stop, I need you more than air kind of love.

This album is all about the pining and desperately waiting, hiding their anticipation, hands shaking from holding back from touching each other where anyone might see them. Much like Taylor's own media presence & public interactions in the Reputation era, Kaylor had gone dark, nobody heard from them for months, but they're doing better than they ever were.

2018 - Desperate Measures

The honeymoon phase ends in 2018 as shit in America gets worse for queer folks. The sociopolitical climate is getting more dangerous now, and Trump's constant attacks on LGBTQIA+ rights & safety is making matters much worse. Jared Kushner & Ivanka Trump are in the media a lot now, which means all eyes are on Josh, too.

Toe is Officially Official - May 8, 2018

Joe finally takes his instagram off private mode and posts a picture of himself, alone, next to a big cactus. Taylor also posts a picture of herself, alone, near the same big cactus. Alright, I guess that *technically* counts as giving the public some confirmation that you two know each other, but I bet Tree was mad as hell when that was their "official instagram announcement."

Then, Joe joins Taylor at the opening night of the Reputation Stadium tour in Glendale, AZ. He wore a baseball cap low to cover his face and "stay incognito" (Joe, babe, no one knows who you are...but like okay i guess, be weird about your fame that you literally wanted and signed up for). But during the song Gorgeous apparently Taylor pointed at Joe in the VIP tent, while he proudly filmed her.

Taylor travels around the country for the Reputation Stadium Tour from May-November 2018. The Rep tour is SO, SO GAY, like Jesus Christ Lesbian Jesus save us from all the rainbow and bisexual flagging!! Check my twitter thread for a full analysis of how gay the Dress performance is.

Instead of hosting her usual big 4th of July Party at the Holiday House in RI, Toe goes on vacation to Turks & Caicos to celebrate the holiday. They call Backgrid to take a few pictures of them "frolicking" at the beach together. I'm so convinced, they're in LOVE!! Can't get enough of each other!! They totally hold hands all the time, this feels so natural and not weird at all!

Karlie posts a few photos in a row about the 4th of July this year. First, she's in her Anti-Hero colored pajamas with her left eye closed in a wink, sitting on a few suitcases, captioned "Kissin Paris Goodbye. *kissy face emoji*"

Then, another post on the 4th itself is of a WMAG stylized photoshoot where Karlie is a cowboy, for the Wild West with Cowboy Karlie campaign. It's captioned "Going into the 4th like *cowboy emoji* @/wmag" EXCUSE ME. "You're a cowboy like me, perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love I could be the way forward only if they pay for it"

The implications of a Cowboy Like Me reference and this photo's timing has on their engagement story has me dead. I'll do a whole lyrical analysis and tie in of it soon.

And then she posts this pic of her swimming in an unidentifiable body of water. Could it be Turks & Caicos? Maybe!

Joshlie announces their engagement on July 24, 2018 while the two are on a vacation in XYZ? People Magazine reports that the proposal "took place a few weeks ago during a romantic weekend together in upstate New York." So they got engaged sometime in the beginning of July, right?

On July 10th, she posts a video of herself voguing down the runway with "This Kiki is Marvelous" playing in the background during Paris Fashion Week in September 2013. Her performance was considered one of the highlights of Paris Fashion Week. She captioned the video: Mood. @/jpgaultierofficial.

Quick question for Karlie, why do you feel the same way you felt before you went on stage for a make or break performance out of your comfort zone? You performed incredibly but it could have easily turned out very differently. Why would you be feeling like that right around the time of your engagement to Josh Kushner?

Karlie's instagram post on July 16, 2018 captioned "bestest of weekends with my bestest of friends" included group photos and a video of her & four girlfriends from her childhood.

So she got engaged and then spent a weekend with her friends, who then commented on instagram pictures from the weekend saying "remember, there's nothing better than old friends!" Why the heck are they talking about friends so much!? She literally just got engaged to Jo- ohhh.... Oh, right, he's gay, and she's gay. Old friends. Ahhhh.

Taylor responds to the engagement news breaking by having special guest, Haley Kiyoko aka Lesbian Jesus, join her for the Rep show at Gillette Stadium on July 27, 2018. Taylor specifically requests to sing Curious with Haley, which is a song about a lesbian woman singing to her ex-lover who is now dating a man, asking her ex if she lets him touch her the way she used to. So gay, so timely, Taylor is a petty bitch & I love her.

Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Delicate (Reputation)

The Wedding, October 18, 2018

Karlie wears her custom Dior gown and very amicably marries Joshua in someone's backyard, it looks like. Things seem perfectly pleasant, almost like watching a wedding scene featuring two actors with no sexual chemistry whatsoever.

2019 - Every Time I Don't, I Almost Do

Lover Promo is all very gay, very loud, very comingoutlor.

ME! out now! on Lesbian visibility day, April 26, 2019.

YNTCD music video out on June 16, 2019.

The Wedding, Part Two: Cowboy Karlie and Her Cowboy, Her Man

Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner celebrate their wedding again with a private group of friends from June 20-23rd, 2019 in Wyoming. It's cowboy themed, for whatever reason.

This wedding into a honeymoon in Africa would have been a wonderful strategy to keep the spotlight off of Karlie in Taylor Swift's immediately impending plan to come out on June 30th, 2019. Go read @sophietv's incredible post that details the failed coming out (fuck Scooter Braun).

<timeline jump>

2020: The Great War

January:

February: Karlie is in Paris, Taylor is advertising The Man MV (out February 27).

March: Quarantine begins March 16th & Taylor starts writing folklore almost immediately, which means that the events in folklore have already happened before COVID begins.

MORE ON THE WAY! I've got:

What happens when Karlie gets back to the US?

How does the Lover era go?

Lover social media & marketing presence

8.24.2019 - Blue

9.9.2019 - Lover in Paris performance

10.7.2019 - Sad Girl SNL

10.11.2019 - Sad Girl TinyDesk (& ring)

Continued sus social media from TSwift

Miss Americana

2020: The Great War (3.16.2020, Quarantine begins)

Lonely Millennial Woman Covered in Cat Hair

folklore

evermore

Karlie's Pregnancy

2022: Go Viral (Midnights, Red TV)

2023: Midnights, Eras, Speak Now TV, Broken Toe, 1989 TV, Kaylor Renaissance

My Predictions

[pariahsparadise]

ye of little faith | e. p.

nav. | m.list

summary: eustace doesn't believe that edmund has a girlfriend.

wc: 800

pairings: edmund pevensie x fem!reader

warnings: VERY unedited. also it's 1am and i just wrote this in a burst of inspiration, so please don't expect it to be good.

a/n: i don't really know if this will make sense to anyone lol, i think i wrote it in a confusing way, but hopefully it's okay. it's mostly eustace's pov, i wanted to try something new. also, this exact scenario has been in my head for months now.

“There’s no way he has a girlfriend,” Eustace tells Lucy, barging into the room. She immediately knows who he’s talking about, able to hear Edmund on the phone downstairs, voice softer than it usually is, taking the tone he automatically opts for when he speaks to Y/N.

“Why?” Lucy asks, half-heartedly entertaining her annoying cousin while she thumbs through the pages of her book. Unfortunately for her, Eustace Scrubb brightens at the attention, straightening up and launching into a rather well-thought out spiel.

“First of all, it’s Edmund we’re talking about. He’s awkward, way too hostile and bad-tempered. Not to mention, he’s barely of average height, and his hair? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Y/N likes it,” Lucy says mildly, earning a scoff from Eustace.

“Y/N.” he says with disbelieving scorn, “As if she actually exists. You expect me to believe that a woman as beautiful and intelligent as you lot claim she is would actually be interested in Edmund? And so interested that she calls and writes to him multiple times a week? Yeah, right. I bet that Ed’s hired an escort to help him forget about how lonely he actually is. Or he’s paying some poor girl to play the part of a caring partner.” Eustace has had many such theories, the more creative ones dealing with blackmail and holding family members hostage, but so far, monetary imbursements seem to be the most likely.

“Sure, Eustace,” Lucy mumbles, having checked out of the conversation a while ago. He shakes his head at her disinterest, convinced that he is right, and leaves the room, muttering to himself disbelievingly.

A few days later, a painting gushes out water and swallows them whole, so poor Eustace, although having taunted his cousins with his skepticisms about the magical land of Narnia and called them fools for believing in the same, is forced to confront that he was wrong. 

Eustace is soaking wet and miserable, still slightly panic infused. He can’t believe his eyes, convinced that he hallucinated the last fifteen minutes. Sitting on the ship, the Dawn Treader, he watches as his cousins are recognised as King and Queen. He’s related to royalty. 

With a humorous snort, he realises that this is more believable than Edmund Pevensie having a girlfriend.

Hell, even the talking rat next to him is more believable.

He goes to voice the same, but is distracted by a joyous whoop descending from the sky, followed by a splash in the ocean. Eustace is too busy trying to catch a glimpse of the figure underwater to notice the hopeful glances Edmund and Lucy exchange, the faint tremour in Edmund’s hands as he snatches a telescope from a passing crew member, getting a clearer view.

“It is her!” Ed cries, only barely held back from jumping overboard by Caspian, who laughs fondly at the Just King. Eustace tries to hear what the Prince tells Edmund, but all noise turns to mush the second he sees the young woman surface, a brilliant smile on her face.

At first glance, he thinks it’s a siren. He’s heard stories about their enchanting beauty and ethereal forms, and Eustace does genuinely believe that this woman is too gorgeous to be human like he is. As she swims closer, though, and the ship's crew help pull her onto the ship, Eustace notices the lack of a tail. And though her hair is soaked and strewn across her face, and her clothes suction themselves to her skin, none of it takes away from her radiance.

It also doesn’t distract him from the fact that she’s walking right towards him. 

Eustace’s mouth goes bone dry, and he gulps nervously, afraid she’ll talk to him and afraid she won’t, when suddenly, Edmund swoops past him and towards the woman. He snatches her up in a passionate embrace, hands securing her to him as he twirls her around in sheer delight.

When they kiss, chaste but heady, Eustace decides that he has never actually known anything about anything.

He’s scouring the sky for flying pigs when he hears Edmund’s self-satisfied voice behind him, “And this, my very real girlfriend, Y/N, would be my cousin, Eustace Scrubb.”

“How do you do?” Eustace says weakly, extending a hand, trying his hardest not to faint when you take it.

“Pretty well. If only Edmund would- what was it again?- stop holding my family hostage, I think I’d be great,” you rib amiably, throwing back one of Eustace’s earliest theories back into his now scarlet face.

“No, darling, you’ve got it wrong, I’ve currently got your dogs kidnapped and ready to be shipped to the pound, remember?” Edmund joins in on the fun, his smile widening as he earns a couple of chuckles from you, and a darker flush from Eustace’s cheeks. 

Eustace Scrubb, though unwilling, is forced to admit, after watching the two of you interact, gravitating towards each other naturally, at ease with the love that surrounds you, his cousin’s eyes brighter than he’s ever seen them, that it is very believable for Edmund Pevensie to be dating Y/N L/N after all. 

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've got a way more fun and much less racist conspiracy theory if anyone wants it: the whole show is Ed and Stede telling the story of how they met and got together to their grandkids while they're babysitting. That explains the over-the-top nature of it, they're trying to keep kids interested in a fun pirate tale.

In real life, Ed and Stede opened up coffee shops right next to each other. Stede's shop had multiple chandeliers, one time Izzy went in and Stede told him to fuck off and Ed was obsessed with that. Ed saving Stede from the Spanish was actually him swooping in to fix Stede's many, many health code violations.

Izzy is still equally as intense as he is in the show ("I was honored to work for the legendary Blackbeard, the most genius part-time Starbucks manager I'd ever known"). He still tries to kill Stede (tries to hit him with his 2006 Chevy Malibu) so Ed fires him. Izzy then just straight up calls the cops on the coffee shop, which is annoying but ultimately doesn't go anywhere because, again, they run coffee shops. Stede has his crisis after Ed admits he's thinking about selling his shop because running it is just stressing him out so he goes back to Mary; they end up finalizing their divorce papers after like 30 minutes.

Ed's feeling bummed and can't reach Stede on social media, so he feels abandoned and reaches out to the crews of their shops for companionship. Izzy threatens to call the cops on him again and he freaks out because he realizes this mean little White guy is totally willing to weaponize that against him.

Ed's "kraken era" in "real life" is just him firing Lucius and then "marooning" Stede's crew by changing the locks on Stede's coffee shop so they can't get in. He tries to force the crew to unionize against him and force him out of the coffee shop he hates running by making them work overtime. He starts talking about making them work a big Black Friday-esque sale and Jim just throws a bag of coffee beans at his head with expert precision and knocks him tf out.

Stede finds the crew loitering outside his shop and they go to sort things out like five minutes later. He finds Ed just fucking face-down on the kitchen floor. They take him to the hospital, Ed has to pretend to let Lucius be his boss for like a week, and for the rest of their lives every time Ed suggests something Jim doesn't like they say "don't make me bean you again, old man."

The rest of the show is them trying to translate how they navigated building their relationship into their pirate fantasy. Characters like the Badmintons and Ned Low are blatant wish fulfillment on old bullies. Season 2 feels rushed because the kids' parents are coming to pick them up soon so they have to hurry. Izzy dies in the show because they just fired him in real life but they wanted to give the kids a moral story but panicked and had to think of an out so the kids don't ask where he is now.

Do I have hard evidence for this? Don't worry about it. Yes, I know I'm a genius, please hold your applause.

[starlightshadowsworld]

I got asked earlier what my thoughts are on the Mori is Atsushi’s dad theory. And personally I don’t buy into it (full breakdown is here incase anyone’s curious.)

But I find it an interesting idea and wanted to play around with it. So here’s my concept for what if Mori was Atsushi’s dad.

Mori knew he’d need a successor for when he took over the Port Mafia. It’d be easier for it to be his own heir. But he wasn’t exactly jazzed about having a baby to look after.

As time went on tho Mori did develop a bond with Atsushi. He wouldn’t call it love but he did feel some affection for him. A feeling that definitely grew when Atsushi manifested a powerful ability.

At first as far as Mori knew, it was simply to turn into a tiger. Which in enough itself was impressive. But that Atsushi got into an accident (as babies do) but miraculously his ability seemed to heal his wounds.

Upon closer inspection Mori realises it wasn’t quite regeneration. But reversion, bringing him back to his original state and thus no longer being injured (same analysis Yosano makes in season 1.)

Definitely does has a “of course he has a powerful ability, he is my son after all” moment. And things would’ve stayed mostly peaceful until the Great war. Mori ends up heading off and has enough sense not to bring his 4 year old with him (but bringing an 11 year old is clearly fine.)

And so Atsushi is left in the care of his mother. Mori and her aren’t together, they are amicable and only really interact if it concerns Atsushi. She’s even dating another man, a cute Russian man who offers to look after her son when an emergency comes up.

One he is directly responsible for because ✨surprise ✨ it’s Fyodor. He takes Atsushi to a far away orphanage, weaving a story about a poor child he found in a bin. Atsushi’s mum is horrified when she comes home, and turns out Fyodor was in disguise and using a fake name.

And because there was a whole thing about the northern lights in the Great War causing emp waves (or something), the phone service is shit and Mori doesn’t find out until he returns. He doesn’t exactly take the news well.

It’s then that Natsume reveals to him what the book is and Atsushi’s connection to it. Saying he didn’t say anything prior because he wanted to be completely sure. And had he known this man was after Atsushi he would have. Mori’s not exactly happy but he understands.

This whole thing only fuels his desire to be PM Boss. Knowing he’ll gain the resources to locate his son. Life carries on and Mori sits on the throne of the PM. The only people who knew of his son were Dazai and Chuuya, and Mori tells them at the same time.

When Chuuya is lashing out in Mori’s office about what he’s lost to the old Boss Mori says he understands. He understands how it feels to lose everything you hold dear, but also to rise above and take control. “I had a son. He was stolen from me, and I will rake this earth until I find him alive.”

When Chuuya joins he says something like “when the day comes you find a lead. I will do everything in my power to bring your son back to you.”

That lead would come 6 years later when a bounty for a tiger is given to the PM. And Mori freezes at the sight of its eyes, he’d know those eyes anywhere.

Everyone’s confused as to why the bounty isn’t being taken, except for Chuuya who puts two and two together. Akutagawa is instructed to bring the weretiger back.

But under no circumstances is he to hurt him. This goes out the window once Atsushi joins the Agency and Dazai, while captured purposefully riles up Akutagawa. Because he realised Atsushi’s identity and won’t let Mori take him.

Things carry on, Akutagawa’s on thin fucking ice as is Kouyou but things go on.

Atsushi and Mori still meet in Anne’s Room. Atsushi thinks he looks familiar and Mori pretends he doesn’t know him. And gives him advice, he’s curious to see what his son has grown into. And also doesn’t want their reunion to take place here.

Mori is also more open to a truce even if he doesn’t accept it right away, especially when learning it was Atsushi’s idea.

Atsushi doesn’t learn the truth until Dead Apple. He doesn’t take it well but learns to accept himself. Akutagawa gives him a good tongue lashing for not telling him and the Agency accepts Atsushi.

Atsushi and Mori don’t meet properly until the Cannibalism arc, truly wonderful timing. He feels guilty for worrying about Mori. Speaking of, Mori finally learns Fyodor’s the one who stole Atsushi, after being stabbed by him.

There’s really no easy way to break it to Atsushi that the Agency are going to kill his dad. He’s against it (even more so than in canon) and wants to try and find a different solution. But after the lead is a failure, all Atsushi asks is if he can at least say goodbye.

His friends grant him that at least.

Atsushi walks up to PM headquarters to Chuuya who stops the goons from trying to shoot him.

Atsushi: Do you know who I am?

Chuuya: The Agencies Weretiger?

Atsushi: Not that. It’s…About your Boss.

Chuuya: So you found out. Yeah, what about it?

Atsushi: I want to see him. I don’t know what’ll happen but, I know this might be my last chance.

Chuuya passes a message on, gets the okay and sends a goon with Atsushi to go up. “And kid, for what it’s worth. He’s missed ya.”

Mori is sat up in bed and sends Kouyou out. It’s awkward at first but Mori doesn’t seem phased by it. Asking how Atsushi is and sharing old stories.

Atsushi getting emotional because he was told he was abandoned. Mori firmly remarking that he wasn’t, that Mori scoured the country and than some for him.

That he was missed, dearly.

Atsushi saying that he wished they had more time. And that he’s trying to find a different solution, giving a teary smile when Mori comments he truly did take after him. Mori has no doubt he’ll survive this but simply says he has faith in Atsushi.

If he says theres a solution where everyone survives then there will be. And that when it comes they should get dinner, whatever he likes.

“Do you still love chazuke?”

“It’s my favourite.”

“Mine too. Chazuke it is then.”

Atsushi leaves with hesitation and the assassination plot kicks off and fails. The rest of the plan is carried out and the end has Atsushi and Mori eating chazuke together at a restaurant.

Atsushi knows what kind of man Mori is, but he’s also his dad. He knows he cares in his own way and wouldn’t hurt him. And they are allies currently.

Chuuya goes back for Atsushi during the rescue and finds he’s missing. Which gives Mori a heart attack until he realises Atsushi snuck out with Kyouka and made a deal with Fitzgerald.

Does he wish Atsushi came to him? Yes, though he does understand Atsushi’s reasoning and touched he didn’t want to drag the PM into this (oh dear boy we were involved when you got dragged into it.)

Also doesn’t appreciate Fitzgerald manipulating his son.

Things go on, worlds saved until it isn’t and Mori gets up to greet Atsushi. And for the first time, hugs him. Atsushi breaks down and Mori tells him this will all be fixed.

That damn rat had taken too much from Atsushi, he wouldn’t take anymore. Ability or not, Mori would find a way to kill him if he tried. He couldn’t even be happy at having his son in his rightful home.

Fyodor was going to pay dearly.

[itsnothingofinterest]

You know, honestly the LoV should have won the Paranormal Liberation War and annihilated most of the Class 1A and the hero society as a whole. I didn't like Class 1A because nobody died and plot armor saved them too many times so I want the LoV to win in the PLF War Arc.

While I can't say I’m a big proponent to any of the kids dying, especially when they…used to be…the best chance the story had at changing things in the next generation. (Definitely should’ve killed more pro heroes though, especially Endeavor.) But that other stuff?

Yeah, yeah I think the first war should’ve ended in a far more decisive villain victory. Especially one where they get to be in charge a bit.

Like, people came away from the first war thinking the heroes lost, and certainly it was their worst showing of an operation in living memory. But did they lose? Certainly not. The villains lost over 99% of their forces including many of their power players that could’ve taken on pro heroes solo and won. Sure they picked up more later for the 2nd war, but most of these replacements were USJ-tier nobodies at best. Meanwhile the heroes only lost half their numbers...and most were just due to cold feat in the aftermath. Actual casualties were, as I recall, a few dozen or so? Maybe in the low hundreds?

And I think that’s quite a missed opportunity. I’d have loved to see what things could’ve been like with Shigaraki on his rubble throne; let the PLF put their money where their mouths were and make the easier-to-live-in world Toga kept talking about. I think it could’ve been a great way to show the flaws that were supposed to be in their approach, maybe see why things can’t get better through their kind of violent upheaval or what ways they aren’t equipped to govern; but maybe also highlight some more flaws in the existing system by having the PLF focus hard on fixing them or maybe fixing a few easily. Just one "man, why didn't we do that?" situation could've been really cool & interesting.

Instead we got a period where nobody was in charge…well, actually more accurately the heroes and their government were still in charge in theory, but they were doing it badly because they failed once so a bunch of people lost so much faith that they stopped listening and chose to live in localized effective anarchy instead. But then the heroes prove themselves again and it all went back to normal.

(Man, putting it like that makes the hero system seem like the stock market if it was law enforcement.)

Anyway, because we didn’t really get to see what the villains’ world would be like, I still kind of think a resolution where Shigaraki triumphed over everyone and came out on top as ruler would’ve been the 2nd best ending for everything we could’ve gotten. (1st was of course one where heroes and villains work together for a best of both worlds resolution. 3rd by a wide margin is the one we got where everything goes back to as it was and trucks along to doomsday. And 4th was the one where AFO pulls a win out his ass.) Because, considering how aware the PLF are of the existing system’s flaws and their want to correct them; I can’t think of much solid criticism for their hypothetical governance that are not themselves purely hypothetical worst-case assumptions. I mean, besides ‘it’s wrong to get there through such violence’…and this is a shonen action manga where All Might ushered in an age of peace after beating up enough of AFO’s goons. A message like that’d always read a little hollow.

I can’t help but think that’s not the impression I was supposed to get towards the idea of the League being in charge and trying to make their easier world, but it’s the one I got anyway because there's not much to disprove it. Whoops.

Besides, the Paranormal Liberation War arc really was the villains' arc; if anyone had earned a true win by the end, it was them.

[cuephrase]

Of the DC comics you've read so far, what would be your top recommendations for people to check out/what have you enjoyed the most?

when i tell you i have been thinking about this all day- i have been thinking about this. all. day.

so disclaimer, as of writing this, i have only read 31 runs from start to finish and 18 arcs/events outside of those runs. on top of, everything i've read so far has been strictly robin-centric, so dick, jason, tim, and damian. (i have read all of steph's robin appearances lol, but i haven't gotten to reading material for her, like say batgirl 2009, yet.) i've also decided not to rec from any run i'm currently reading, so for example, you won't see any batman: gotham knights recs here. because i'm most well-read on the robins, i'm only going to rec for them.

also, i'm going to operate under the following assumption: you've got a basic knowledge of the robins. none of these are where i would necessarily recommend anyone start reading about the boys, but i do think they'd be pretty interesting if you're already somewhat familiar with them and don't want to commit to reading whole character backlogs. does that make sense? i hope that makes sense.

alright, let's do this!

DICK GRAYSON

oh god. this one is actually so hard because he has so much great stuff, but then also i have like a love/frustrate relationship with so much of it. like for instance, i really enjoyed The New Teen Titans, but also lowkey can't stand space adventures so whenever that went down i was like 😀👍. but okay. hmmmm.

i have two preboot recs, with explanations + caveats.

devin grayson's mob!dick arc, so Nightwing 1996 #99-100, 107-117. caveats: it doesn't really get to finish playing out/wraps up weird because of editorial changes/infinite crisis. but!! it's a super interesting look at how dick handles...failure. how he values himself in light of that failure.

tomasi's run, but specifically #147-153. (listen, i love the dick and tim moments in 'freefall' but the whole eternally pregnant lady thing was too weird.) this is classic, hyper-competent dick, okay? he's such a bad-ass. and an idiot- bro literally flops his severely injured ass over the bars of his glider and rides it UNCONSCIOUS back to the batcave. i can't with him. poor alfred. anyways, he deals with two-face, always a good time. and then at the end, as a treat, he cries because bruce is dead. so fun!! what was my caveat here? oh yeah, he has a girlfriend. i don't remember her name, she serves like...very little purpose, the whole relationship is very minor/background okay, but like it was so unnecessary. he can be single, dc, it's okay.

for post re-boot, just read tom taylor's run!! it's the best thing ever!! zero complaints!!

HA. yeah, just kidding. that run is very like/frustrate for me lol. oh man i'm struggling here. it's not all bad okay, i'm just really picky, and i haven't re-read any nightwing n52 and onwards since my first foray into comics (8 months ago) so my memories of these are the foggiest and i'm not sure how i feel about all of it in light of what i've read now. yk what, i'm just going to...not rec anything. sorry!!

JASON TODD

his comics either go so hard or they're absolute ass, why is there no in between. istg, i can't figure out why writers struggle with him so much?? well. i mean, i do have theories. but you didn't ask for those!

pre-boot:

detective comics #569-574. robin!jason in the hands of writers who like him is so much fun. which, don't get me wrong, i don't flat-out hate how starlin writes him, but i think you get a more well-rounded view of jason as robin when you also see him in 'tec. jason and bruce tangle with the joker, scarecrow, + mad hatter, and all of those adventures are...idk if they were intentional foreshadowing okay, but reading those and knowing where the story goes? oof. especialllllly #574. caveat: #572 is pretty light on jason, but he is great when he's on panel!

reboot:

probably a very basic answer but rhato rebirth (2016) #1-13, annual #1. i abhorred n52 rhato so i almost skipped rhato rebirth since it was still written by lobdell, but i'm really glad i didn't. i really enjoy jason's relationship with bizarro + artemis, but especially with bizarro because i think jason struggles a lot with feeling like a doomed creation, so yk, parallels. i want to say more but i know i'll get too wrapped up in discussing jason so i'm just going to stop myself.

i actually really enjoyed task force z, too. i think about tfz #8 so much, jason is such a manipulative little shit and i love it. he's so- i can't. i can't get into this rn, it deserves its own post(s).

overall for jay, i need people to read something other than utrh/lost days/b:ul 1-6. i love those, i do, but they aren't the only good pieces of jason content!!

TIM DRAKE

MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!! in my heart of hearts, i just want to rec his whole robin run lmao. dick was my intro, okay, he is why i decided to start reading comics, but tim, specifically his robin solo is why i'm still reading comics. hooked me fr. and young justice 1998, ugh love. but it has been a minute since i read these as well, so hmm. okay okay okay

pre-boot:

batman: prodigal. short version, tim is robin to dick's batman. super fun. there's a solid amount of dick and bruce angsting too, which, love. tim is honestly just thrilled that jpv is out of the batsuit and even happier to working with dick. very cute.

robin #46. listen. they're all superheroes okay, they all feel pressure to save people. but tim...losses get to him. the amount of times that he gets shoved to a breaking point and then...gets back up. keeps going. *screams*. anyways!! this is not tim getting back up, okay? this is him being shoved way, way down. it's so good.

teen titans 2003 #20. tim's dad has died. he shows up for his weekend at the tower anyways. he is not okay. that's it, that's the pitch. i did not like...mmm at least 80% of this run okay, but a few of the issues HIT and this was one imo.

reboot:

*deep sigh*. look. tim is not tim for like basically all of n52, although there are moments here and there were he feels like himself. i did not like his 2023 solo, the best parts of young justice 2019 imo are the character designs, (except for his drake costume, what was that omg), and i haven't read any rebirth batman/'tec yet. except for zdarsky's run. which. tim is good there! but yeah, not really a whole lot of material to work with + very limited reading experience atm.

DAMIAN WAYNE

god, i love this kid. nature vs. nurture fascinates me, and so much of his story digs into that on top of trying to figure out who he is apart from all of that. i will say, i'm not a huge talia fan and by that i mean, i have no idea who she is "supposed" to be, like i have no frame of reference for that atm, so if you are a huge talia fan these recs might not hit for you because from what i've observed from her fans she is not well portrayed a whole lot since becoming his mother? i think one of the things that is normal is dick absolutely disliking her though, which cracks me up. there's this older batman story (batman #322-335) where bruce works with talia and dick goes running to selina and i was so entertained. what were we talking about? oh! damian!

preboot:

batman and robin 2009 #10-12. damian is struggling, with a lot of things. the fact that bruce might be alive, what that means for him and dick, and his mother's puppeteering. there's this line that kills me: "can't you just love me for who i am? not what you want me to be?" and the thing that gets me, is the use of who vs. what. because he could have said, "not who you want me to be", but he doesn't

reboot:

batman: shadow war. this is post-alfred's death, and honestly, most damian stuff post city of bane is pretty juicy, but there's this specific moment in shadow war: alpha #1 that had me speechless. just like 😧 i love bruce, but that man has some of the most chronic foot-in-mouth disease. oh but fair warning, for whatever reason they don't draw dami's mask connecting?? it's so- it drives me nuts.

JUST FOR FUN

these are just two issues that i enjoy for the brother content!

nightwing 1996 #25. dick and tim's relationship makes me ILL. *ahem*. this issue is mostly just super cute and fun, (there's like 0.2 seconds of angst when tim asks dick if he ever thinks about jason 😭) and i adore it sm. fun fact, it's actually one of the first comics i ever bought!

batman 2016 #16. unfortunately, tim is not here for this, but duke is! jason and damian's interactions in the background of bruce's Very Serious Speech are excellent. bruce is so dramatic and his kids are so unserious.

what i've most enjoyed

i've enjoyed the majority of what i've read, even titles/events i wasn't particularly looking forward to but had on my tbr for whichever character. i'm going to break down most enjoyed into two catergories, arcs that i loved top to bottom and then the guilty pleasures. this is not an exhaustive list, just what immediately came to mind.

top to bottom

bruce wayne: murderer?/fugitive. shocker, ik. but it's just, it's just so frickin good. i've said before, and i'll say it again, gotham war could NEVER. this right here is peak batfamily drama. the tension? the mystery? the angst? i knew nothing going into this okay, and truth be told, when i started it i was like "oh joy. another event." because i was just trying to read the 1996 nightwing run, but i'd committed to reading in full all the events it crossed over with. but i was invested so quickly. and like, i loved how the narrative supported the possibility that bruce was the murderer, because like, you know there's no way, but the more that comes out the more damning it is, and so you're like really dying to know what actually happened and i feel like the reveal was satisfying.

batman: city of bane. i'm going to cautiously put this here, because there might have been something i didn't like but i cannot recall it for the life of me right now. something about me is i love when the heroes lose. infinity war, empire strikes back? love. and ik bruce takes back gotham, but they lose alfred, okay, they lost. i also didn't expect to like this arc, i decided to read it because i wanted to know how alfred died. and first of all, i was shocked, even though i knew it was coming because i expected it to like happen towards the end. but nope. just *snap*. and then later when bruce is back in the manor and is confronted with alfred's body and his good-bye message? oh. my. god. i was bawling. despite my penchant for sad narratives, i don't tend to cry that much, but this got to me so bad. like i had to pause because i couldn't see. amazing.

red robin. his cowl is so ugly, but i really do love the run. i see a lot of discourse about it and also a lot of...interesting fanfic takes, so i don't really talk about it a lot here because it feels like most people are kind of tired of hearing about this run, which fair. i really enjoyed it as a sequel to his solo robin run. tbh, i almost put this in the guilty pleasure catergory, because there are a couple things i don't totally love, but like if the others are 10/10, this is 9/10.

young justice 1998. i love this comic so, so much. i don't even know what to say, i get so overwhelmed with joy when i think about this comic. nothing has hit the same way with this group since either, which is a crime. i need a title with this team so badly.

guilty pleasures

these are all runs/events i know some/most? people cannot stand and i totally get why, and i have problems with them, so i'm probably never going to rec them in good conscience but also like i can't lie and say i don't like them. these are not recs, okay? okay.

robin war. is it a hot mess? yes. but there is not a whole lot of canon content out there with all the boys working together, okay? so much of that event had me banging my head into a wall, but for me, there were a handful of pearls in there. i mean honestly, if i listed out pros and cons the cons list would be way longer but those pros are very precious to me.

batman and robin: eternal. very similar reasoning overall to robin war. plus cass finally came back!! i missed her. i love robin!dick and batman content, and the kids working together. this is probably my least favorite guilty pleasure though, okay, it's on thin ice.

grayson. listen, i love janin's art sm. i'm pretty neutral about spy stuff, so like i don't engage with it a whole lot. meaning, although i've heard it's tropey af in regards to the genre, i'm not familiar enough with the genre to be like trying to dig my eyeballs out with blunt spoons at the cliche of it all. the constant sexualization of dick got old super fast, and her name may have been helena but she wasn't- my list of dislikes is lengthy. but idk, i had fun with it. and imo it does have some genuinely great moments, i love dick in the desert with the baby, the ache i felt when dick wanted to come home and couldn't get ahold of bruce, issue #12 stabs me in the heart- the dick and dami reunion? stoppppp. i feel like this run and the ric grayson era are dick's most out there lmao

so yeah!! thank you so much for this ask, i had sm fun answering it. if you have any recs for me, feel free to drop them :)

[headspace-hotel]

Cheese caves?

Long story short, the US dairy industry produces way more dairy than anyone likes or wants, and despite a bunch of sketchy government campaigns to convince people to drink milk and eat cheese, it's still overproducing, so for decades we have had a giant government stockpile of cheese that is housed in underground caves, and it keeps growing

Like, the price of milk has dropped so low recently that dairy farmers can't even break even. The government has done all sorts of questionable shit to try to put cheese in EVERYTHING, everywhere, and the giant cheese stockpile is not dwindling. In 2016 we just...dumped out millions of pounds of milk.

What's happening as a result of all this is that smaller dairy farms are going under and getting bought out by huge dairy farms with thousands of cows, and we're still hitting record high milk production, and nothing is getting better for anyone involved. The number of farmers has plummeted while the amount of milk being produced has skyrocketed.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around why this is happening, but basically: Produce less milk overall, and prices go up, yes? This would benefit small farmers. But huge dairy farms (with thousands or even tens of thousands of cows) don't want that. The government subsidizes the price of milk, in theory so farmers don't go under, but what has happened in practice is that loads of farmers have gone under and the industry itself remains a gigantic pillar of idiocy constructed out of pure cheese.

I don't even know. What's the economics explanation for this? The invisible hand of the market is jacking off the invisible dick of corporate interest.

I like cheese. I honest to god couldn't survive without dairy, what with the autism giving me instant gag reflexes at so many foods that could otherwise sustain me. But even I can only eat so much of it.

What gets me about this whole thing is that we're all collectively pretending that human population and consumer demand are straining the Earth to its limits, as if the dairy industry hasn't functioned entirely independent of consumer demand for 5 decades.

It goes from like "Hmmm...why can't we redistribute these resources to people who actually need them?" to "Aww, sweetie, you still believe in resource scarcity?"

[blazinghotfoggynights]

What is with all the fighting?

BuckTommy vs Buddie is going to be a pay per view octagon situation if this continues.

How is everyone fighting about things that have not happened? Why is there a budding ship war?

This is why fandom can't have nice things.

Can anyone provide a reasonable and rational explanation for this madness? Can both sides not see the writers have set this up to go one of a million different ways and no one except the people working on the show know where it is going?

I could argue how both sides could be probable and even support the most farfetched "tinhat theories" with actual canonical scenes, lines, and hints.

How the hell are fans arguing over which "endgame" is the right one? We don't get a say. Minear and his crew are firmly in control and unless you are going to argue with him, what is the point? (BTW, don't do that! For the love everything, if you are one of those who goes after the producers, writers, and actors, can I just say you give fandom as a whole a bad name and ask you to stop! Geez!)

A part of me thinks ABC and the showrunners are doing all this to fuel debates and dissent which will increase interest and send the already sky-high ratings through the roof this season and ensure at least several more seasons to come. Guess what? It's working.

Can we all agree that Buck, who didn't just turn bi one day but has been bi all his life and didn't know it, has definitely looked at and flirted with Eddie, Eddie and women have a weird dynamic, Eddie has definitely eyef****d his best friend more than once, Buck and Tommy are definitely having naked fun times (since Tommy is a beast, I think we know who is getting their back blown out), and no one has a clue about the direction the writers will take Tommy in?

Imho, in some more than platonic way, which we can spend hours debating, Tommy was/is into Eddie, Tommy is into Buck, Buck was/is into Eddie, Buck is into Tommy, and Eddie was/is into Buck. Eddie has canonically stated he is not into Tommy, so I am going to go with it because in six seasons, Tommy is the only person Eddie has stated he is not interested in.

If I were in that writer's room, I would be suggesting so much mess it would make Jerry Springer look like Sunday school. (Sue me. I love drama in my shows and movies. Not in my life, though. Definitely not.)

Now, can we all chill the hell out and see where this FICTIONAL story about FICTIONAL characters goes?

[pupmkincake2000]

I wish people understood that shipping hankcon is in no way related to our fathers or daddy issues or anything else that refers to the relationship between fathers and children. Because it's all bullshit. For some reason, people exclude the fact that you can ship them just because of their incredible, interesting dynamics. It's just so simple, isn't it? The incredible chemistry we see throughout the game, no matter whether Connor goes the machine path or the deviant path. Their chemistry is still incredible, beautiful and amazing. Hank is a hot, incredible man who deserves love more than anyone. I will never get tired of saying over and over again that their relationship is more than friendship, their relationship is more than the love that people are used to. Their relationship is a bridge between humans and androids' world. Literally. And since when do people actually need reasons to ship someone? This fandom is perfect proof of that. Fuck, people literally ignore any logic to ship some characters, yet we have to explain the reason of our love for the ship?

Or should we say “thank you” to the pseudo-psychologists who came up with the theory about the “father figure in relationships” and other crap, and which all the inadequate people began to actively force, calling a relationship with an older person as something not normal, but considering abuse and gaslighting in a relationship to be true love?

It's okay if someone doesn't like this ship, but stop saying nonsense about the reasons why we ship them. We don’t have to be the children of bad fathers, or love our fathers too much, or have some kind of daddy ishshus (well, maybe this applies to someone, I don’t know) to love these two with all our hearts.

I've said it once, I'll say it once again.

I fell in love with them because I saw two people who needed each other badly. One of them was damaged and needed reason to live, who deserved to be loved and adored, and another one needed to find his own soul. And this is why they are so perfect together. Hank is the reason Connor became a deviant, Hank is the reason why Connor found his own soul and a heart, and Connor is a reason why Hank was able to hope the world can be a better place, Connor is a reason why Hank is loved again and knows he can be loved and adored. They are each others world, they are each others souls, they are each others everything. They are extremely strong together and basically die if they are apart, it is more than soulmates, it is love the world's never seen before, it is love the world will never see again, they are a bridge between humans and androids' worlds, a bridge the world would never have again. They are two people who are in love, deeply and inevitably. They can be dorky, they can be passionate, they can be strong, weak, sexy with each other. To me, the whole story was a blossoming romance between two lonely souls who found each other and even death won't do them apart.

[ms-scarletwings]

A Speculative Analysis About Irkens No One Asked For: Part I

Dem green fellas. Them lil guys, they’re an interesting pack of critters, aren’t they?

I used to really fixate on them back in middle and high school, stronger than everyone else seemed to be on the spazz in the dog costume. Jhonen Vasquez’s worldbuilding has always towed a very fine line between nonsensically ridiculous and surprisingly logistical, and this balance is typified in everything we know, and can infer, about these bug-eyed imperialists at the center of everything Invader Zim. So, let’s infer, and take a crack at it since no one’s stopping us anyway- More specifically, some thoughts and ponderings I had about how they “tick” as a fully realized society, not just a sci-fi monster..

A Homeworld Obscured 

Now, to really understand the history and “deal” of any civilization, or any animal, usually you would turn to their environment first to give you some handy clues and context.

Small problem, though: We actually don’t get much in the way of direct, explicit showing or explanations about Irk itself when it comes to the show. This makes some sense, given that the whole of what they do worth showing (and the most notable members of their kind) exists almost entirely off-world. So instead, we mostly find out more about Irk from what Invader Zim does tell us about its natives. As far as confirmed canon goes, we know that Irk’s atmosphere appears red, its surface is entirely and densely urbanized, and it’s long been depicted in starmaps with a set of Saturn-like rings. 

  This last fact is probably the most interesting, because planetary rings are usually something we, in our own little solar system, would only associate with massive, gaseous worlds, not terrestrial ones.  What These rings are made of is really anyone’s guess- could be ancient debris from natural satellites, Water-ice particles, maybe even some form of artificial defense network put into orbit by the Irkens themselves. If they aren’t artificially created, this would suggest that Irk has quite a strong gravitational field- greater than that of any of our neighborhood’s rocky planets. This is the common theory I personally like to subscribe to, because it would also go hand and hand with explaining why the average height of the irken race is so much shorter compared to that of an adult human. It fits neatly into the “why” question for the sort of athletic skill and agility we’ve seen invaders able to demonstrate on Earth, too, for otherwise being of meek physical prowess. It even adds some credible context for why the very achievement of growing to a more substaintial height is both uncommon and associated with extreme survival fitness to them.

A Fun fact that’s about to be relevant: “Rayleigh scattering” is the term given to when light wavelengths become shifted and scattered through an atmosphere medium. Long story short, it’s the reason our sky has color to it during the day. Stay with me on this.

I’ve also seen some people take a go at the red-looking surface, guessing a different gas makeup than the elements on earth responsible for our blue skies. I’m gonna go against the grain here, and actually contest that. I think that Irk’s atmosphere is coincidentally extremely similar to Earth’s. We know well enough that they both have a similar composition of gases breathable to both societies, given that Zim, Skoodge, and Tak all seemed pretty comfortable without some form of assistance on the same dirtball as humanity. Instead, I propose that Irk’s magenta skies are actually the symptom of heavy pollution. Sunsets and sunrises in the real world are known to make the sky appear more reddish-orange, even pink, as is. Usually, Rayleigh scattering has the light From the sun appear bluish in full midday, but during low sun, the rays are coming at an angle making them have to travel farther before reaching us, so you have already stretched light waves getting the same treatment from the air and, well, a higher frequency blue turns down to the lower end of the spectrum, red and yellows.

And wouldn’t you know, air pollution can actually do the same thing. THIS is why there's a scary ass orange haze known to accompany the presence of massive forest fires and volcanic eruptions. Earth’s most polluted cities even experience longer and redder sunsets for the same reason. 

Left: Image of a lilac sky over a Chinese city experiencing heavy smog levels Right: Intense red haze spotted over towns in Indonesia in the wake of rampant rainforest fires

On Earth, Zim stared directly into the midday sun without hesitation, nor concern that it would literally blind him. I think the planet hue and this is plenty enough to guess the likely case that Irk’s surface probably doesn’t get a lot of direct sun on an average day as is, and the sheer amount of unbroken cityscape that covers the homeworld would be the more obvious suspect than just having a more distant star from them. If they overcrowded to the point of their expansion, why build their civilization deeper into the ground, instead of up? Maybe there's actually a good reason or two they don’t raise their young topside.

A Psychology Molded for Domination

As well, I want to chirp about real world space again for a second. So, anyone up to the buzz in geek circles and aware of the math on the matter probably got the memo: humanity is almost matter-of-fact certainly not alone in this sandbox of a universe (or at the very least, we won’t always be alone). Like, about as certainly as we were about Black holes’ existence before we up and observed the real thing. And while it’s probably not going to happen in any of our lifetimes, sci-fi and media generally have been trying to take a crack for years at what the theoretical first contact with an alien civilization is going to look like. 

And I’m gonna go ahead and say it, 

As “cliche” and Hollywood as the conquering little green/grey dudes trope might have become… it’s actually not a wild take after all. The little and green thing, that’s creative liberty, but the part about them being hostile and something we may not actually even WANT to be aware of our existence? That’s an idea that even the smarty pants experts have been fearing the realistic odds of, even including the late Stephen Hawking .

The Evolution of intelligent life is a hard thing to really pin down and predict, given that we literally only have the one example to study. Under the right conditions, what reason would another advanced species NOT have to be equally as expanding, as exploitative of its resources, self-destructively short-sighted, and as supremacist as humans have already demonstrated themselves to be capable of? There is a lot of very interesting literature that suggests BOTH empathy/altruism and or aggression/tribalism to be (at least in the short term) very rewarding characteristics for an intelligent social species to develop.

And that’s the thing about the behavior of the Irken Armada I think has always been fascinating. Their drive to be the biggest definitionally invasive species across the cosmos is framed exactly as irrational, bumbling, and pointless as it deserves to be; however, is it not just the extended conclusion of every empire that has existed here on Earth, if only it had survived long enough to achieve the technology of Irk? And yet, it’s reminiscent, like the rest of their design, to the far from sapient, yet very real world creatures they appear to be most inspired by: hive and colony building arthropods. Whether the next point I'm about to touch on should be seen as a rejection of that resemblance, or further elaboration of it is anyone's to answer.

Transhumanism, or.. Transirkenism, in this case?

Like the specifics of what Irk really looks like and how it realistically works, a bunch about the aliens’ physical biology is left to scattered tidbits to ponder and piece together into a bigger picture. A few of those tidbits are as follows, drip-fed to us over the course of aired and scripted but never released episodes:

+ From the mouth of Vasquez himself, it has been confirmed that Irkens lack any form of reproductive organs. Instead, they rely on industrialized facilities to grow and produce them in a factory sense.

+ Yet curiously, they still demonstrate something akin to sexual dimorphism, or at least the cultural existence of masculine/feminine genders, where females are aesthetically set apart by the presence of curled antennae, eyelashes, and higher voices.

+ Irken lifespans are able to stretch far past that of an average human’s (Zim himself is cited to be around 2 centuries old in earth years).

+ Invader class soldiers have been implanted with surgical upgrades to their eyes.

+ Every Irken is fitted with a PAK that serves a wide array of utility and life-sustaining functions for its owner. These units are physically and neurologically connected into an Irken’s spine from “birth” and contain a cybernetic backup of an individual’s personality, assigned occupational programming, and memories. 

That’s not close to a complete list by any means, but it’s got the gist of what I want to dwell on most, starting with the last bit; because the PAK isn’t done true justice in one statement. It is not an extra addition the way a prosthetic enhancement is, and it is not a tool the way armor and weapons are. It is literally analogous to a vital organ to these aliens, and they are shown to die within 10 minutes of being forcefully detached from their own.

The degree to which Irken bodies and minds rely on this technology, and how seamlessly they are integrated into it, ALONG with their completely artificial life cycle all directly points to the fact that their civilization has advanced into a cyborg-like stage of evolution. It may even be on track to reach a post-organical peak in due time, phasing out more and more of their “vestigial” and feeble meatsuits until they’ve become a true drone army. And that actually begs some huge questions now that we realize we will never know how much of the Irken anatomy was ever originally a natural feature. An Irken’s own brain practically comes secondary to the superior efficiency of the supercomputer on their back, capable of literally holding their own essence and being in the form of code. A code that can preserve the “self” even in the event of meatbody failure, being uploaded post-mortem into the Control Brains’ collective data and repurposed for a future generation of workers. It absolutely would stand to reason that the species has continued this biological self-tampering to other heights- extending their lifespans, incorporating untold amount of mechanical upgrades into their bodies, and maybe even genetically engineering their smeets to be so compatible with this technology.  The control brains themselves are a mesmerizing reflection of this change over time- the result of an evident shift long ago from technology serving them, to them serving the directives of computers. When you really pay attention to the control brains’ role in the series, it comes clear to you who (or what) is really in charge of their society. The Tallest still maintain their symbolic/cultural importance to the Irkens, but outside of their part in spearheading the active intergalactic invasion, they ultimately are figureheads when it comes to actually running the homeworld and ruling the lives of Irk’s inhabitants. If I had to bet money, I would say the Brains may even have the ability to choose and predetermine the next Tallest when a replacement is needed. But what does that make the Tallest? A meaningless title and transformation, chosen arbitrarily by the AI overlords? Well, I don’t think so, actually… but maybe that, and more on the “meaty” morphology of their race is all a tangent fit for another day and post ;)

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Someone probs wrote about this before, but it’s absolutely bonkers how Aof’s Bad Buddies and Our Skyy crossover with ATOTS put men’s bisexual/pansexual experiences in conversation with gay experiences.

You get Pran and Phupha and even Tian all existing to some extent as gay characters—and I don’t say that because anyone specifically uses that label (only Tian really goes near there). In fact, I don’t even say that because of the gender they’re attracted to! There’s more to their gayness than that. They’re gay characters because all three of those characters exhibit major signs we associate with effeminacy and, more importantly, its early suppression by others, which leads to the shameful self-repression we see in their present day incarnations. They all have softer sides—music, art, gentleness—that they tuck away privately, and they each have clear examples throughout their stories of people telling them that they need to eliminate or at least hide that part of themselves. And these interests and expressions are not just subtext about sexuality here, they are specific markers we culturally expect to see alongside gayness. And the suppression, or lack there of, of those effeminate qualities is a significant gay milestone.

Pat doesn’t have that experience, though, which I think is genius from a writing and queer theory perspective. The thing about the LGBTQIA+ grouping is that it’s a very potent political grouping, but the experiences of each letter within that acronym are distinct, and often it’s precarious to bring up the differences. However, with Pat’s bisexual characterization, we see how it can be productive. Because Pat’s embodiment, interests, and sexuality contained more aspects that were socially acceptable, he did not experience the same type of suppression as Pran, Tian, and Phupha did early on. He never needed to develop coping mechanisms that involved self-denial. Therefore, he’s comfortable being expressive with his more feminine side and his affections. He doesn’t have the same sense that his sweetness puts him at risk of anything. This openness provides a model for Pran in Bad Buddies and Phupha in ATOTS to explore releasing some of their self-control, anxiety, and shame to share the sentimental parts of themselves (Tian’s whole arc in ATOTS is about coming to terms with this more feminine heart inside of him—RIP Torfun 😢).

I think one of the lessons we’re supposed to glean from Pat is that any person, queer or not, could be that open and comfortable with the full spectrum of gender expression, from fist-fighting to hugging your nong nao doll over a crush, if they were given full support by their fams. Since that perfect world doesn’t quite exist, this is a really unique secondary message we get about the potential of reaching across the divides and growing from other groups within the LGBT acronym. Of course, no character is a stand-in for an entire group. Not all bisexual and pansexual folks escape childhood without suppression of their gendered ways of expressing themselves, and they have unique societal and internal challenges that come with their sexuality. But it’s okay to acknowledge, as Bad Buddy and ATOTS do, that many (but not all of course) exclusively gay men have interests and gendered styles of expressing themselves evident earlier in their lives that make them a target for shit, which leads to a specific loneliness-inducing style of relating to themselves and others. P’Aof and his team, instead of comparing those experiences with bitterness (which is what I’ve often felt inclined to do in the past tbh) asks what possibilities exist when these people can understand one another. It’s also somewhat symbolic of the possibilities that occur when the BL trope of ‘gay only for you’ is, not put in contest with lgbtq media, but instead synthesized—which is what P’ Aof has explicitly aimed to do for his whole career.

[badkitty3000]

Do you think Five was attracted at all to Viktor as a child?

This is going to be a controversial answer, so before I begin, I would like everyone taking the time to read this to know that I do not consider myself any type of Five or TUA authority. I respect everyone's take on all of the characters' backstories and personalities, etc. and I hope they respect mine in return. After all, this is fiction, and I am in no way trying to offend anyone. I believe we can all share this happy, fun fandom with our different theories and headcanons!❤️😊

With that out of the way, no, I don't think Five was attracted to Viktor as a child. I realize I'm most likely in the minority here, but I just don't see it. And I know, Aidan Gallagher has said that he thought Five and Viktor had a crush on one another when they were kids, so I should probably adopt that as canon, but...I just can't. And this has nothing to do with gender, Five or Viktor's sexuality, or his coming out as trans later in the story. The reason I have a really hard time wrapping my head around that is because of their personalities.

Now, I'm going to say something else controversial here, so please don't throw rocks at my head. Viktor is boring. And kind of whiny. And very annoying. There, I said it...I'm sorry! 😫

He has his merits, don't get me wrong, and I admire Elliot Page as an actor. But the character of Viktor just seems so completely opposite of Five that it's very hard to imagine the attraction there.

Maybe when they were younger, they were close, as stated in Viktor's book. They all seem to have kind of paired off at one point or another during childhood, so that I can believe. The entire family was isolated and brought up under weird circumstances and I don't fault any them for any attraction between one another. But come on...Viktor? He's just not going to do it for Five. At least on a level other than brother/friend/confidant relationship.

Unfortunately, we do not get much of their childhood before Five disappears, or really even after. The only thing we get to see that we can piece together (that isn't in the book, since we only know that from the good folks online that have shared their pics of the zoomed in text) is that Viktor doesn't think Five should jump (they look at each other and he shakes his head), Viktor left out sandwiches for Five after he left, and Five goes to him first to tell him about the Apocalypse when he returns. That's kind of it and it's not much to go on.

Five is such a wild card, and full of energy and smug attitude, and overall asshole-ness, that it's hard for me to picture the two of them together in any romantic way. Viktor is such a wet blanket and I can't imagine Five finding that very attractive. Even as a kid, I just can't see it. Friends: yes; More than friends: no.

Here's another hot take that no one asked for: I don't think Five was wrong in threatening to kill Viktor in season 3. The whole thing with Harlan was irritating and Viktor basically took Harlan's side and risked everyone's life to try and save him. Yes, I know, Five can be called the villain here because he works alone as well, but...at least everything he's done has been with his family's interest at heart. Viktor just up and fucked them over. So yeah...I kind of understood his point.

Obviously, I have some blinders on here, and I admit that. Five is my favorite character and I rarely concede that he does anything wrong. He is the love of my (fictional) life and no one else comes close. So, I'm sorry and I know this is not a popular opinion. Please forgive me!! 😭😂

This got a little out of hand for such a simple question...oops! I fully expect backlash on this, but that's ok. And I truly have nothing against any Viktor/Five shippers out there. Like I said, this is all fiction and it's supposed to be fun!

Peace and love! ☮️❤️😽