#i have a minor issue i like to call neurodivergency

[codecan]

I FIINALLY finished Watchdogs stars n stripes (it only took so long cuz id read a chapter a night SOME nights) heres my shortened opinion on the book I personally liked the plot, I thought it was an enjoyable thing to read. HOWEVER IT WAS WRITTEN LIKE HOW I WROTE ESSAYS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL I DONT WANNA EVEN COUNT HOW MANY TIMES IT WENT "(char) said". That was like one of my only major issues was how it was written but for the price I paid for it used and my bar being oh so low for video game books, I got what I expected. I did rlly like the character interactions and again the plot (luv u Scotty). I did feel like some things were rushed a little or could've just been fleshed out a bit more but that didn't bother me that much, I have a running imagination I can fill it in myself Overall I give it a 8.9/10, Would probably actually read it again

[infimace-blog]

Thinking about rap as a technical artform and rap as a cultural artform, with respect to Tumblr's incompetence at dealing with either. Tumblr can just barely grasp the former because, like all forms of Black music, it's been repackaged in various ways that are more palatable to to white audiences. I talked last month about how what Tumblr was calling rap while trying to defend its taste in music is more akin to filk songs, but I should admit, sometimes Tumblr cites people who actually rap. It doesn't fix the problem or absolve them of their bullshit, but it is true.

The failure then becomes an inability to recognize or care about how rap functions culturally.

People on Tumblr will take Dungeon Meshi and intricately pick apart how a single chapter connects back to real-world neurodivergence issues and the cultural differences between the West and the East when it comes to handling them, and then look at any given rap song and assume it's skin-deep. Unless it's Hamilton back in the late 2010s, before we all decided it was cringe, in which case they'll gladly dig into the history of the early USA and, like the play itself, sidestep the racism whenever possible.

Take Weird Al, one of the many names that's been thrown around in Kendrick and Drake's wake. Weird Al is technically a rapper. He has done rap. We cannot ignore that as a factual statement. He's not even that bad as a rapper. But he has no engagement with rap as a cultural object; he engages with the artform as a parodist. "Amish Paradise", probably Weird Al's most popular rap parody, doesn't say anything; it's here to riff on a religious minority. But you dig into it just a little and you can see the kind of complexity that Tumblr usually loves to talk about. The song is, after all, a parody of Coolio's Grammy-winning "Gangster's Paradise", which is literally about being a black man in an environment dominated by organized crime and fearing the constant threat of death in that life, but was also created specifically for the movie Dangerous Minds, a middling white savior movie about Michelle Pfeiffer teaching a bunch of bad stereotypes of what people think inner city non-white students are. A movie that was, in turn, based on a white woman's memoirs about teaching in a bad school near San Francisco. You've got this interplay between a white woman's real-life efforts to teach her black and Latino students (I can't speak to how effective she was, mind you), a fictionalized version of that same woman being shown as the sole guiding light for her underdeveloped gangbanging students - and a white actress's crappy Kipling-ass 5/10 film getting Coolio his Grammy. It was tailor-made to be Coolio's big hit with white audiences, getting the push of Michelle Pfeiffer, having slow and deliberate rapping, and lacking the swearing in most of Coolio's oeuvre (Stevie Wonder mandated no swearing in return for letting Coolio sample his music). And, though I suspect this was unintentional, the song plays into the same narrative that the movie does, how this rapper is doomed to his life because "nobody's there to teach [him]", with dramatic choir and strings underscoring the dire fate that awaits this rapper if some charitable white person doesn't help him - the same dramatic choir and strings that Weird Al uses for comedic effect by comparing it to Amish farmwork.

I put that last paragraph together with two or three hours of Wikipedia, and you can do the same kind of analysis with a lot of hit rap songs (and Genius is right there if you need a helping hand - I wouldn't have understood much of Kendrick's Euphoria without it), and I think this drives a lot of my frustration? Tumblr loves to see something cool and then take a few days to write an in-depth post about how cool it is under the surface. So the lack of this when it comes to rap does show a deep disinterest in thinking about it when it isn't fun. And there's so much cool shit to learn about rap. Did you know that Baby Got Back was inspired by the anti-black fatphobia Sir Mixalot's model girlfriend was dealing with in her industry, and was pushing back against the media's general preference for skinny white women? Did you know that there's a Turkish hip-hop scene specifically in Germany because, as a minority that was brought to the country for cheap labor and then forced to exist as second-class citizens, they ended up relating a lot to the music? Just. Dig a bit. There's so much.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Sep 18th

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1. Hi! I don't know if this has been asked before but I'm looking for a fic. It had multiple chapters and might have been mostly from LWJ POV. (spoilers for the fic basically) I only remember clearly that in one of the later chapters it is revealed that WWX took the fall for JC who had set off a cigar fire. Thank you!

FOUND! Nursery Rhymes by manaika (M, 96k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Inexperienced WWX, Experienced LWJ, Reconciliation, Budding Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Unreliable Narrator, Medical Inaccuracies, Slow Burn, Past Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Found Family, Past Injury, Nurse! WWX, Doctor! LXC, Teacher! LWJ, Character With A Heart Condition (Major), Past Incarceration (Major Character), Underage Character With Leukemia (Minor))

NOT FOUND! Insert Coin Now for Extra Life by TriviasFolly (E, 201k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Intersex Omegas, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Marriage contract au, Twitch Streamer WWX, fluff and smut, caring for other while sick, Possessive LWJ, Rare Male Omegas, Pack Dynamics, Sugar Baby vibes, Eventual Smut, Brief mention of lwj/others)

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2. hi - apologies if you have answered this and i missed it, or please ignore if i haven't waited long enough! i really appreciate all you guys do! I'm looking for a longish fic - cloud recesses classes WY gets whipped after JZ/JY engagement broken, recovers in CR while creating talismans. Wens attack and WY explodes heads. ACE JZ, badass Madame Jin, NH sets up JY/NM, WY grabbed by WR, LZ comes to save him and they kill WR. I've tried searching hashtags, but just can't find it -can you help? @oldoni

FOUND? 🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

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3. Hello Mojo!! I've always used your blog to find missing fics, but this'll be the first time I send in a an ask!!

I read this fic a long time ago and forgot to bookmark it, the premise was Jiang Yanli was engaged to Lan Zhan but she was in love with Jin Zixuan. So Wei Ying, doing what he does best and offers to take her place.

He's invented a talisman that changes his body to look like Yanlis, the catch is that it affects his health everything he uses the talisman until it eventually hurts him to the point of near death. And he falls in love with Lan Zhan along the way.

Can you help me find this fic?

FOUND? 🔒 You Free Your Mind In Your Androgyny by retired (misbehavingvigilante) (E, 368k, WangXian, JC & JYL & WWX, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bodyswap, Crossdressing, Dysfunctional Family, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Transphobia, Self-Worth Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans WWX)

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4. Hiii there was a fic where wei ying was chased by a dog and took shelter in lan zhans house. i remember wy having a panic attack and lz calming him, and ig he had a cat called bunny?? idk this was on the first chp. and it was a long fic ig?? Anyways hope you can find it!! @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou

FOUND? leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation)

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5. Hii I am desperately looking for a fic. It is around cloud recess time and wwx is a genuis and gets recognized by the Lans and they treat him well. I remember super specific stuff like there was an elder who blew something up to reroute a river because he needed the water for fire savety and he is kind of mentoring wwx. And some of the elders imply to lwj to court wwx. And there is a kind of scholar equivalent to a discussion converence and the Jiang scholars get so much shit from the Lans for not supporting wwx talent because he is like a once in a generation genius and they usually have systems in place to support people like that but the Jiangs were afraid of madam yu i guess. Thats most of what I remember. I really hope it still exists somewhere... @frankensteins-gendercrisis

FOUND?🔒in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric)

FOUND? 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 859k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

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6. Hi! I'm looking for a f/f wangxian fic, I don't remember much about the plot but I do know in it wwx bullies young lwj and calls her a lesbian. They later meet as adults and wwx is really trying to atone for her actions. Thank you!! @blessrainydays

FOUND? Out of your system by mimilamp (E, 20k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Rule 63, Sexual Content, Strap-Ons, jealous wwx, lan zhan FUCKS, mention of LWJ/others straight girl WWX, Y E A R N I N G, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

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7. Hello! Here for the fic finder, please. It starts with Wangxian hunting a monster that eats dreams. At some point it catches lwj and puts him into a dream and wwx goes into the dream and sees that in it they are married? Does that ring any bells?

FOUND? Dream of Me by KingdomFlameVIII (E, 11k, WangXian, Mild Horror, Dreams, Dream Sex, Bathing/Washing, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, First Time, Light Bondage, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering)

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8. Hi! I'm looking for a modern au where WWX was a fox that had gotten taken to a sanctuary and he had a faded red ribbon around his neck, it fell off and he got sad about it. It possibly had his name written on the inside of it? Wen Ning either ran the santuary or worked there. WWX might've been cursed to be in a fox form? I can't remember for sure. I thought I'd bookmarked it but can't find it and there's a gazillion fox!wwx fics and I'm not finding it. I can't remember more than that but hopefully someone will know. TIA!

NOT FOUND! in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, and getting subsequently rescued by your crush, there were in fact two beds, but LWJ knows what he's about, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

FOUND! Found: Extremely Friendly Fox by wanderingflame (T, 22k, ZhuiLing, WangXian, Modern AU, mild animal injury, Curses, Fluff, Reunions, Fox WWX, Foxxian being a lovable terror, POV Alternating, Modern With Cultivation, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, LWJ wears reading glasses because it's sexy)

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9. Hi can I ask you if you could find me a fanfiction where Wei wuxian keeps doing different ghost games and Lan Zhan keeps interrupting them, the other thing I can remember is that they're both university students and Lan Zhan is responsible for the dormitory.

FOUND?🔒Grandmaster of Demonic Party Games by Trickster_Angel (M, 50k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Crack, Light Angst, Humor, Paranormal, horror, Slow Burn)

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10. Hello! Submitting a request to find a fic, cause i'm honestly at my wit's end.

It was multichapter fic and I'm pretty much sure it was finished. It's basically story, where Wei Wuxian transmigrates from modern times into cultivator setting, summoned by mistake, by his counter-part here and basically hijacked their body? And was then promptly attacked by Lan Wangji, who thought it was original

In cultivator setting, Wei Wuxian was also known as a Yilling Laozu - ancient and mad with grief over Lans killing his husband few hundreds years ago. The present Lan Wangji is reincarnation of said husband, but due Yilling Laozu Wei Wuxian not letting him go, he couldn't properly reincarnate or something? Like - he is still man's husband, Lan Wangji, but a little bit different and that stops him from falling in love with YL WWX?

(There was also something about how this Wei Ying was summoned, because Lan Wangji from that universe probably died, before they had a chance to meet.)

Anyway, after getting (i think?) stabbed by Lan Wangji he got taken to Cloud Recess, then he somehow winded up in Lotus Pier, growing close with Jiang siblings. Also, Wei Wuxian from the modern times was some kind of doctor or inventor (?) and he tried bringing some modern solutions there.

I think this think may be quite known, but i tried all the tags i thought that will work and found nothing ://

Thank you very much in advance

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline, Mojo’s post)

FOUND? 🔒 Transverse by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 192k, WangXian, ChengSang, ZhuiLing, ZhenYi, Dimension Travel, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Enemies to Lovers, Transmigration, Past Lives, Canon-Typical Death, Don’t worry - he gets better)

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11. for fic finder, i've read this a few times and suddenly i can't find it- wwx gets taken by a caiyi merchant while he's on his way to dinner with lwj. the merchant is someone wwx had previously gotten along with, so it's a bit of a depressing realization that even this guy hates him.

queue a sinister array, a timely rescue by lwj, and the sobering realization that wwx can't fully escape what he's done in his past life, and it can crop up where he least expects it @stgroversfire

FOUND! Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out? by Iggysassou (E, 13k, WangXian, Married Couple, Post-Canon, mdzs canon rather than cql, 5+1 Things, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Protective wwx, protective lwj)

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12. Hi! This is for fic finder. I'm looking for a fic where sect leader JC returns to Lotus Pier after a trip/night hunt and the junior disciples all clamour towards him. JC then picks one of the youngest disciples who gives a short report and sends them off for training. I think it might be from the pov of someone who accompanied him (LWJ? LXC?) and then I think there's a bit of commentary about the kind of sect leader JC is. I think it's likely some sort of canon divergence or time travel fic, but not sure. Thanks!

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13. hi, i’m looking for a fanfic in which jzx’s death was faked, he was found in the lake (?) by wwx, i remember people thought wwx was dead but lwj managed to find him alive in some village. lwj told jiang yanli to find wwx and after he found jzx, he was told not to sleep in the same room with jyl as she was married woman and it was inappropriate. this fic wasn’t finished

FOUND? Discarded by teawater (E, 178k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dying Lan children, Hurt/Comfort, YL WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, and it's not always dark, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ)

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14. Hi! I’ve been looking for a fic I read a while ago in which WWX designs a talisman (or something) to test blood relationships and finds out he really is JFM’s son. If I remember correctly he’s already left Lotus Pier, I think he finds out with JYL and JC at Cloud Recesses? “This body yet survives” by RoseThorne comes very close but doesn’t have him as JFM’s son. Help please!

I’m pretty sure 14 is a modern era AU and they take a DNA test which reveals the siblings as wwx’s half siblings - can I locate it? Ehhh, of course not unless I get lucky with my history search

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15. I’m looking for a fic that is a modern au, no cultivation, where wwx leaves home or is driven out of his home and loses contact with his sibling and lwj. Fast forward to the future, he’s living somewhere and is with the Wen siblings? I don’t remember how, but somehow lwj finds wwx first, maybe over text? And slowly wwx starts sharing his life again? I feel like maybe wwx had been abused or threatened to never talk to his siblings again. He’s very afraid. I remember Wen Qing was very suspicious of LWJ and protective of wwx. Thanks for your help!

NOT FOUND! clean from the war (your heart fits like a key) by sysrae (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reunions, past xy/wwx, xy is fucked up but not evil because it's a modern AU and I said so, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, past wwx/jfm, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, transphobic violence, Victim Blaming, Past wwx/others, allusions to past self-harm)

FOUND! Love Don't Belong To Me by airinshaw (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern, Getting Together, Kissing, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, Happy Ending, PTSD, Panic Attack, WWX's canonical self-esteem issues, Canonical Child Abuse, not as dark as the tags imply, Past Relationships mention)

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16. Hello! Thanks in advance for this. I read ff earlier this year, it was post-canon I guess, Wei Wuxian is staying in cloud recesses and Lan wangji is chief cultivator (I guess). once wwx took juniors to night hunt and he kminda knew that someone will come for him, a walking corpse was searching for him specifically. after empathy wwx got to know that the walking corpse is his father. I dont remember anything other than this scene. Please help! @vbhardwaj-reads

FOUND! An Aftermath More Devastating Than The Storm by UneducatedAuthor (Not Rated, 111k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Everyone Loves WWX, The Junior Ensemble Love WWX, Hurt WWX, Protective LWJ, Protective LSZ, WWX Deserves Better, Genius WWX, WWX Protection Squad, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, JC & WWX Reconciliation) Has Wei Changze as a fierce corpse searching for his son

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17. For fic finder, I remember it was a multichap canon dovergent wangxian fic with inventor wwx. Tho I am not sure if that tag was used. The most notable part of it was Madam Jin bringing evidence of jgs putting his lot in with wrh complete with bills, transactions, correspondences etc. Jgs tries to discredit her by being a misogynist. That's when madam Jin uses a wwx custom binding spell on him and then says "I am a quick study when I want to be" to wwx and then she says "thank you for your instruction" because she learned the spell from jzx who saw wwx teach it to jc in cloud recesses lectures. After that she tells jzx to take the sect leader's seat and there was resistance from jin elders in the same scene and also in other later chapters. It was complete and happy ending I believe for wangxian too @yiling-laozu-is-loml

FOUND? Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

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18. Hey its my first ask so i don't know if I'm doing it right... I've been trying to find two specific fics really hard but no luck yet. I hope you'd be able to help

A) It was a post-sunshot campaign au..I think someone basically heard wwx getting yelled at by jc and flinching away from his touch. That gives rise to rumours that jc is sexually abusing wwx. Everyone starts pitying wwx and it comes to a head at some sort of banquet..?

B) A post-canon wangxian fluff fic. I think it might've been a 5+1 sort of fic but im not sure. There was one particular scene where wwx is just hanging out with other lan spouses and they are all complaining about their husband but wwx is silent cause lwj treats him really well..After he says so one of the women say "how long will it take your husband to realise if I kill you and take your place?" To which wwx replies "like right away"

I really hope you'll be able to find them

18A)

FOUND? Short Prompts by Vrishchika (M, 40k, WIP, WangXian, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Not JC Friendly, Separate Tags for Each Chapter) chapter 15 I'm sure of it

18B)

FOUND? Life before you was tragic by covalentbonds (Not rated, 4k, wangxian, Fluff and Humor)

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19. Hello! I am trying to find a fix where Wei ying get thrown to burial mound by wen Chao as a child, and then he become the protector of Yiling! He is always covered in shadows when he meet the sects! Can anyone remember the title! It is in AoW but I cannot find it! Help please!🙏 Thanks 😊 Have a wonderful day! @fallingstar77

I don't remember the name of #19 fic, but what I do remember is that it's listed on the amazing Warprize compilation you guys did.

FOUND? 💖 what price is duty, what cost is love by thunderwear (G, 18k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, WWX was never adopted by the Jiang Sect, War Prize, YLLZ WWX, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, First Time, Falling In Love, eventual dramatic confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending)

FOUND? Sanctuary by Alineko (T, 45k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Cultivation Sect Politics, Sunshot Campaign, Overpowered WWX, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, Sect Leader WWX, Unreliable Narrator LWJ, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Self-Indulgent, Touch-Starved WWX, Different First Meeting, POV Alternating, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags)

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20. Hi, Im looking for a fic that may have been deleted but i'll try here. In it LWJ takes a'yuan away from cloud recesses to raise outside of the sect after WWXs death. He builds a garden with various monuments one of which is a boulder tied down with ropes to represent the Xuanwu. Eventually he senses something and goes to the burial mounds where he drags a reborn WWX from the blood pool. He takes him home to rehabilitate. On the way he stops at an inn to bathe him. Thats all I remember<3

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[saturnniidae]

More dragon rider disability headcanons for disability pride month!

(Ones specifically abt Hiccup are here)

Ruffnut has hypermobile EDS (when the twins were doing some bit that was basically Guinness book of world records she said smth abt 'worlds stretchiest skin' and my mom made a joke and said 'ruff has eds!' And it stuck)

A joke Ruffnut loves to make is saying Tuff is so insufferable she should just run away to join a circus and become a contortionist. She thinks it's the funniest thing ever

Hiccup also has some weird hypermobility stuff going on, when Ruff learns this she calls him a fellow circus freak (affectionate) and offers to let him come with her when she runs away. The response she got was "I'd rather stick my hand in Fenrir's mouth."

Tuff is visually impaired in his right eye from a childhood injury (another joke taken seriously)

All the riders are neurodivergent!

Snotlout has a frequently irregular heartbeat as well as memory issues due to how many times he's been struck by lightning. His whole book he wrote in that one episode isn't the only writing he does, he keeps a notebook to help keep track of minor things he might forget.

Astrid tries to make Hiccup breakfast in bed when he's having bad pain days and is too tired to do it himself. She almost burns the house down every time, so Toothless will go and get the other riders to help out while Astrid is kicked out of the kitchen and sent back to bed

Hiccup can be really fucking mean sometimes! Usually it's intentional bc he's in a bad mood and wants to be left alone. If it's seemingly unprovoked though, the others know it as a sign he's likely in pain and needs to be left alone (he still insists on getting work done but usually Toothless annoys him into resting)

Astrid has aches in her leg from when she got shot with that arrow, it being poisoned with dragon root did something to mess up the healing process so its worse than other old injuries (Dragon root isn't poisonous to humans but still having it in your blood stream isn't a good idea). She's also very mean when she's in pain, especially because it ruins her schedule since she can't train. Eventually her and Hiccup come to an agreement when they're having bad pain days they'll meet up in one of their huts and just. Sit together enjoying the others comforting presence but rarely talking

This is because Hiccup and Astrid both hate being in pain in front of people, they both share that almost extreme fear of vulnerability and the best they can do is take comfort in each other

Hiccup and Fishlegs are hyperfixation buddies! Fishlegs is the only one who doesn't get mad (it's just fond exasperation) when Hiccup wakes him up in the middle of the night to infodump, they just bounce off each other talking about dragons until woah suddenly the sun is rising and that is when Fishlegs gets upset because he values his sleep

All the riders have burn scars of varying severity. They literally work with dragons there's no way they wouldn't. And they all deal with their pain in different ways, but are unwavering supportive of each other when they can be

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a lot of characters should be disabled.

I know, cartoon logic and all, but the things that happen to these guys are things that should affect them for the rest of their lives. And watching characters struggle with permanent change like that, the realization you can never go back to how things were, and eventually healing and learning that's okay! You can still find happiness and be happy and it doesn't make your pain any less valid! It's so important to me and that's obviously reflected in my interpretations of my favorite characters lmao

[kamiana-ruzha]

so, because of what is happening on twitter with opbee currently, i think some things need to be said.

for context: there's a trend "we listen we don't judge" going around social media, which, well, most of the time you're not listened and judged and roasted instead. so someone posted an 'opbee edition', asking of people's opinions on the pairing. at first it's been...more or less okay. but i won't be wrong if i say shit hit the fan rather quickly.

there were words about how disgusting the ship is. how disgusting are the shippers. there were words that the shippers must be investigated. there was a death wish and i think kai agreed with it?

why there was so much hate?

because people see them as father and son. because Bumblebee is infantilised by the fandom. and that is the problem. not the shipping or shippers.

so... let's go over all the facts, okay? calmly. read all of this post please.

1) Father and son

the biggest argument why this is a 'trash ship' is because people *see* them as father and son. yes. *see them*. they're not father and son. there's no canon confirmation of Prime ever adopting Bumblebee, or Bee being blood-related to him. if you google it -- you'll get a wattpad AU! fanfic. they're not canonically related in any way.

why do people see them like that?

as far as i'm aware, it started in g1 and some tfone voice actors said that they see them like that too, but a) i don't have the interview, b) it all grew out of a meme.

and that argument crumbles after a couple questions. what a father would Prime be for sending his alleged son to war? even after his arch nemesis literally yanked his alleged son's throat out, taking his voice away (tfp)? yeah, that's a great father an son relationship, don't you think?

a less... scientific or journalistic or rational, call it what you want, answer, is...daddy issues.

people just see Prime as a father figure and because Bumblebee is infantilised he's seen as his child.

i have daddy issues too, i don't deny it. my father was emotionally unavailable until recently. but to people who say only fatherless ship opbee -- look into your own traumas. please. talk to a therapist and then think twice about telling others something like that.

2) Bumblebee is a child

no he is not. there's no canon info about how old he is. from what I was able to find - he's six millions old. SIX MILLIONS. Optimus is nine millions, and that COMBINING his existence as Orion Pax (4-4,5 mil) and as Optimus (the rest). so, do the math. Bumblebee might be just a little older than him, older than PRIME, but a bit younger than PAX.

the infantilisation of Bumblebee is a huge problem for transformers fandom and the canon itself. no-one takes him seriously. and yes, i agree, he might be in his very late teens or a young adult, but he's not a child, not a toddler, not a middleschooler, not a minor. look at Bayverse Bumblebee. look at War for Cybertron (especially Netflix) Bumblebee. look at Earthspark Bumblebee. even G1 is *not* a child.

think about it. would a child be able to kill Skyquake or any other Decepticon (tfp)? would a child be a mercenary, that avoided war up until it killed cybertron (netflix wfc)? wouldn't a child hesitate when sent through the city that is currently being destroyed and heavily bombarded to tell some guy named 'Optimus' that Zeta Prime is dead (wfc game)?

think about it twice. rewatch anything but animated while watching for "signs of adult personality".

think thrice before saying Bee is a child or child-coded. at most, he's neurodivergent-coded, or just someone who's not really in touch with his emotions (think the rage moments)

3) age gap

there's none. i said about it slightly higher. at most their age gap is three millions old. that is insignificant for beings that are essentially immortal, unless they get sick or killed.

now think of all the mech+human pairings. how come that kind of age gap is normalised?

i'm not saying that to shame the fans of Charlie/Bee or Mirage/Noah or Optimus/Michaela or any other, no. i like those ships. every ship is relevant.

the double standard and hypocrisy is not. it's not okay.

4) all, or anything of listed above makes people uncomfortable

it's okay. your feelings are relevant.

and i, a shoker, don't like opmeg too much. i didn't like that my whole twitter was only them after tfone. you know what i did? i added 'opmeg' and 'megop' into ignored words. and that's all. my soul is at peace.

is it so hard to do the same? let the shippers be. are they hurting you? no. are they hurting anyone else? no. so just use the feature twitter and tumblr have had for a long while and bluesky has too. use it. and ignore the ship if it makes your eyes hurt. spare yourself and spare the people that like the ship.

5) there's no dynamics

no there is. watch fall of cybertron trailer. rethink all "Optimus I'd die for you" and actual deaths.

6) the shippers are sick and other words people say

you know what i read? i read that someone thinks that blocking shippers isn't enough, they want them, they want me dead for shipping and creating content. that i'm weird for shipping opbee. that i'm sick. that i, and others, need to be investigated.

no, no we are not weird. i don't know about everyone, i only know about myself. i have issues. i have trauma, hell, who doesn't? i know it could have been worse, for example, if i stayed in Kyiv after the war began. opbee helps me cope. and it helps not only me.

have you.. actually mindfully, objectively read what is posted under opbee tag? yes there's a lot of valveplug, but have you seen the size difference? the kink is tickled.

but the content shippers make is wholesome, cute and comforting. hell, opbee helped me get over my self halm issues, slightly helped with my anger issues, that's what my first fics of them are about.

any ship might be someone's way to cope. respect it. respect people's feelings. it saddens me that empathy doesn't exist anymore. think what impact your words may have on someone before writing those words. think for a moment more. and think again, would it be worthy? would saying that someone's favourite ship is shit and they're sick for loving it be worthy of someone killing themselves? and i'm not exaggerating -- that happened many times.

if you think it's worth it...just block me, okay? like i blocked many people who asked to block them if you ship opbee.

respect other people. respect their feelings, their ships, their requests.

and don't be a dick.

[genderqueerdykes]

i read your post about punkness and thought i'd ask you since i love this account. i saw a tiktok (i know not a great place already) that said that you can't call yourself punk/be punk if you don't go to shows. is that true...? im severely disabled and deaf so i can't really listen to music and leave my house, but i've always identified myself with the punk/goth scene. i know music is a huge part of subcultures so i've always felt very left out of (online mainly) punk/goth spaces even though i try and participate in other ways.

hello there!

not only is that not true, but it's ableist and lame as hell. that is so pretentious, i am so tired of online punks distilling punk to "listens to loud music". and further more, people trying to create a divide between "real and fake punks." this is just the "POSER!!!!!!" fake goth shit from the 2000s all over again. punk shows are genuinely dangerous for a lot of people for quite literally no reason whatsoever. like they're enjoyable for many, but they are NOT accessible to disabled people in general. some places im sure go above and beyond but most are organized by someone who's intoxicated, or thinking about the "wow" factor more than anyone's safety or well being.

i don't go to shows anymore. i did for the better part of a year and then stopped because i am also disabled. most of the venues are VERY small and crowded. there is no room for mobility aids. i've had to be out on the floor with other people dancing and moshing without even a cane. you can very easily get pushed or hit or knocked down and people may or may not help you get up. also the crowds get filmed without anyone being informed beforehand that there might be filming happening and that might not feel welcoming to paranoid people

there's almost always flashing lights at shows for some reason, which can be extremely dangerous for epileptic and photosensitive individuals. these sorts of spaces are hell on earth for anxious people, people with PTSD, autism, schizophrenia, ADHD and many other kinds of neurodivergence and mental illness. there's generally not really spaces where you can decompress or stop hearing loud noises for a while. i literally just hung out outside most of the venues because the music was so loud it was making my ears ring. people with tinnitus and misophonia are going to struggle greatly in these environments

alcohol and drugs are the norms at these shows. often times, minors are not carded, and are in fact given booze and alcohol anyways because the show organizers just don't see that as a bad thing. i witnessed show organizers in my own area giving drugs and alcohol to minors and not carding anyone. i was offered so many different types of drugs and offered alcohol so many times it made me dizzy. i had issues with alcohol in the past and have trauma surrounding it and being around drunk people. these environments are NOT friendly for addicts and substance users who are trying to maintain a healthy relationship with substances, or those who need to be away from them in order to heal

like you mentioned, a lot of d/Deaf and hard of hearing people may not feel included in these spaces. not only that but shows can CAUSE hearing damage and loss, due to the fact that no one is making sure that the music is being played at a safe volume. most of the time it's as loud as the speakers will go, or close to it. most of the instruments are either intentionally poorly tuned, or tuned in such a way where they sound harsh, aggressive, avant garde and unique. as a result, this can hurt a lot of people's ears, overstimulate them, or cause them to faint if it's certain tones or decibels. i know many punks who developed hearing loss due to this

i tried to point out that saying that punks HAVE to listen to punk music is ableist toward d/Deaf and hard of hearing people but for whatever reason that pissed people off. but i'd like to stress again: if you assert that punks HAVE to listen to punk music, you are leaving out people with hearing difficulties. not all d/Deaf and hard of hearing people can't hear anything at all, I understand this. but saying that punks HAVE to listen to music is leaving out so many people with hearing difficulties or those who are in danger of losing their hearing. please be compassionate. this is a serious issue.

it's not virtue signalling to say that this affects deaf and hoh punks in a very serious way. thank you for reaching out to talk about it. honestly, shame on everyone who said it's virtue signalling to point out that punks saying you have to listen to music is a slap in the face to a lot of deaf and hoh people. i hope this gives you something to think about. you really need to consider people on every side of a spectrum when it comes to a disability. you need to care about people with significant or total hearing loss, too.

anyone who tells you you HAVE to go to shows and listen to punk music is a cop without realizing it. they're policing who punks are and what they do. that's gatekeeping. that's policing others' identities. that's literally unpunk. as long as you resonate with punk ideals and aren't a cop or other kind of fascist, you're a punk. it really is that simple. it's an entire subculture outside of just the music. i get how important the music is. but it's literally so ableist to say that punks HAVE to listen to music and HAVE to go to shows.

also, not all punks have the time. some punks have a family to care for or careers they enjoy. not all punks have a local punk music scene at all. that's a very privileged approach if you ask me.

[kurishiri]

ok but like in all srsness, this actually can be the problem

(aka a couple of thoughts on Elbert🍎 and neurodivergence probably. minor spoilers about his character that’s shown in his own route maybe, but there are like no actual major story spoilers. it’s mainly just me rambling.)

like I get that this scene is like, you know, kinda a tiny comedic bit like “oh we have this problem” but another person’s like kinda out of tune with everything and then there’s that slapstick interjection of “that’s not the problem right now!” — by the way, this sort of retort (?) is an example of something like what’s called a [ツッコミ] (tsukkomi) in Japanese, a common form of comedy in animanga. and, when it comes to 🍎’s character, I think part of his comedy comes from how “out of tune” he can be while also hinting at his neurodivergence.

his perception on what is beautiful is like absolutely fvcked to the point it’s funny with how much he has to ask Al “is this beautiful” for like everything he lays his eyes on. he has like a “strange sense of (physical) distance,” like e.g. he may burst your personal bubble, even if he doesn’t intend to. he hates being touched by others. and now, here, his problem is that his environment is too loud or noisy, and so he says “stop shouting…” despite the whole situation, i.e. he likely struggles with overstimulation or sensory issues, to which Kate responds “that’s not the problem here!”

but, I think it’s valid for 🍎 to have as much of a problem with this, for this to be the problem for him. and to Kate, it may seem like he is not prioritizing properly, or he doesn’t care much about the mission, but when something is overstimulating, it can be hard to focus on what you “should be focusing on.”

[gallifreyriver]

So, Kellogg's Boycott. Again. Haven't seen any posts about it here yet, so figured I'd make one.

In short: We're all tired of these big companies gouging their prices just because they can, and calling it 'inflation.' We're tired of companies announcing record profits while they cut bonuses/lay people off/force workers to run on skeleton crews/etc. We're tired of "Shrinkflation" And we're tired of a bunch of other shit too, but you get my point.

So, vote with your wallet.

On April 1st, stop buying Kellogg's, and keep that up until June 30th. Just three months- just one quarter of the fiscal year. Companies report earnings each quarter, and if their earnings drop it will reflect in these quarterly reports.

Why Kellogg's?

Because their CEO recently pulled a "Let them eat cake." TLDR; Kellogg's has raised prices by 28% across the board, bragged about record breaking profits, and then suggested that families struggling to afford groceries, because of aforementioned price gouging, just "eat cereal for dinner!"

And well, that message was not well received by anyone, as one could imagine. Pissed a lot of people off.

So yeah. The plan is to stop buying any Kellogg's products (below) for the entirety of the second quarter (April 1st-June 30th) and to collectively tell Kellogg to fuck off until they lower their prices. The goal isn't to "destroy the company" or cost anyone their jobs- but we will hit them where they will listen. Their profits.

If they don't listen, then we don't come back, and we start in on the next company, and keep going until they all get the message. There's always alternatives (more on that below) and we don't need them. If they refuse to drop their prices, then we just stick with the alternatives we found.

Three months is a minor inconvenience to teach a corporation a lesson, and we can do it.

So, take this month before April to find your alternatives. If you need help, I based a non-comprehensive list (below) off the image above. There's tons more just a google search away, and I bet others have made lists as well. There's also always the option to make your own. There's tons of recipes online showing how to make dupes of your favorite products.

Some things to note:

Don't go stocking up on your favorite Kellogg's products the last week of March and think you're not crossing the picket line. The point is to make Kellogg's feel the loss in profits, and stocking up on Cheez-its beforehand will defeat the purpose. I sincerely promise you can make it three months without buying Kellogg's. Again, three months is a minor inconvenience to teach a corporation a lesson, and we can do it.

That said, Safe Foods are acknowledged. If you or your child is neurodivergent and has issues with food (i.e: literally won't be won't be able to eat at all without their safe food) you get a pass. By all means feel free to try and find alternatives, but it's very unlikely that the few who can't boycott will cause it to fail. There should be plenty of the rest of us to pick up the slack.

Don't be a bystander- meaning don't go about this thinking "Oh, well surely there's enough people boycotting that it's fine if I just-" No. If we ever want things to change then we need to be strong enough to do even something as small as not buying something we like for three months. Furthermore, it's on those of us who can afford Kellogg's products to boycott Kellogg's. It's not the responsibility of those who already can't afford Eggos to boycott Eggos. Nothing will change if you go about just assuming everyone else already has it handled for you. Take a stand.

And importantly, Spread the word. This only works if we let as many people as possible know about it.

So reblog this post, or make your own post, or both. Even feel free to copy and paste this entire post off-platform if you need to. I've also seen some suggest making flyers, or even just writing on post-it notes, and sticking them to Kellogg's products in the store to spread the word off-line.

Just get the word out there. If we ever want these companies to stop gouging us for every cent we've earned, then we have to make a stand somewhere.

If we do nothing it will only ever get worse.

[oldqueergrandma]

If you are a parent, parent-figure, or grandparent, this is for you.

If your kid falls down on the playground and sprains a wrist, it isn't your fault. It's just a thing that happens. Your job, as a caregiver to that kid, is to get them to a doctor (hospital, urgent care, etc.) Your job is to find them the appropriate care, and support their emotional needs, too. Your kid is scared, hurt, embarrassed, and worried.

And any good parent is going to set aside their own feelings to be there for their kid.

With me so far? Good.

As a child myself, I was Having Problems In School. This was the end of the 70s/beginning of the 80s. Neurodivergence was mostly perceived as either "Rainman" or "Little Boy Can't Sit Still Syndrome." I have ADHD and was a weird little kid.

I had to get to 2nd grade before a teacher helped my parents figure out what to do. That teacher explained my issues to my mom. (My mom, the lifetime certified k-12 English teacher with a minor in psychology.)

My mom had an extremely common response to this: she panicked. She took it personally. She acted like this teacher was calling her out as a Terrible Parent.

My teacher held her hand, and very gently but firmly told her, "This isn't your fault. There's no one at fault. But your kid needs help, needs therapy, needs an evaluation, so that we can give that kid what they need to succeed in school." She then used the example I described above. "If your kid fell down and broke an arm, are you going to stand around beating your breast and wailing about being a bad parent while your kid suffers? Or are you going to get your kid to the hospital, and be brave while you do it?"

Now. This is good advice for many crisis situations. The responsible, adult thing to do is to not take it personally, model good crisis behaviour, and get your kid the care they need.

But this message is for all the caregivers of kids who announce that they want to transition.

Your kid is trying to be happy, to be the person they were meant to be. That they are not happy now, and the fact that they feel like they're being shoved into the wrong life is upsetting to them. They're trusting you to help them. They're asking to be given what they need to be happy and healthy. They're asking for you to trust their judgement.

What they are NOT doing is attacking you. They're not telling you that you screwed up as a parent. They're not rejecting the precious gift of a name you gave them, even though *you* have specific emotional ties to that name. That kid is trying to figure out who they are, which is all any human being does with their life. But it might feel like that's what they're doing.

I know that it hurts, feels like rejection, and it's scary. It's probably not the first time you've had to deal with those feelings, either. Adolescents and teens often say things that hurt their parents; there's a ton of books and videos and therapists out there to help you with this extremely common situation.

From your kid's perspective, they've shared a revelation with you. They trust you to give them what they need, and to accept them for who they truly are. They're terrified of rejection or being dismissed. They're anxious that you will try to shove them back into a shape that hurts and caused them grief.

So your kid does not need for you to dump your problems on them.

Do not make this about you.

See to your kid's needs.

And find a therapist to help you deal with your own reactions.

You may be feeling grief, rejection, and fear (fear for your kid, fear about what people will think, fear you can't articulate.)

You may be angry as a result of that fear. You may want to just check out because of the grief.

But any time you feel yourself emotionally reacting, ask yourself, "Would this be the right way to react to a medical crisis?"

My 2nd grade teacher saved my life. Really. She got my mom's head screwed on straight, and my mother shared this wisdom with many parents through the years as a teacher herself.

So take some profound wisdom from the woman who saved me. Process your own baggage without spilling it all over your kid. Be what your kid needs. And if this is a struggle, get yourself what you need, too. Talk to a counselor.

But above all else: this is not about you.

[saturnsconstellation]

Why do I really fw the idea of James and Remus being childhood bestfriends? Like okay, sure, I LOVE Sirius’s and James’s relationship but what if we have that same dynamic to him and Remus?

They could have met once after both their fathers met in their Hogwarts years and became close friends even after school ended, and they parted ways. Every year, Fleamont would call Lyall and his wife and son for Christmas, and every year they would go. Remus’s birthday is not so far from James’s, so they get along really well.

James, overly optimistic and hyperactive; A bold and confident kid with bright brown eyes and golden skin who made the world light up when he smiled and Remus, shy and sweet; willing to do whatever James wanted because he was his only friend. Who got super excited when James would hear him rant none-stop about things he was passionate about. They were attached to the hip.

I headcanon Remus went to a muggle school to fill in his years before Hogwarts and would beg his father to let him go to the Potters because ‘Dad, I need to tell James what I learned today! I promised him I’d teach him math :(‘ (yes, the wizards world teaches mathematics, but only to a certain extent because it’s considered a minor thing and they want to teach the children magic more than anything. The source? Uhhh, carrying on-)

Remus would be embarrassed of his Welsh accent and try very hard to hide it around James, and James would smile at him and tell him he loved his accent (he doesn’t understand a word, but will continue to smile and nod). James would try so very hard to get him to like Quidditch; ultimately giving up after Remus asks “what’s a snitch for, anyway?”

Remus would get jealous after Marlene and Peter came over for the first time after he and James had been already friends for 3 years because of course James would want friends that don’t talk about random things and struggle to read books or social cues (Neurodivergent + Dyslexic Remus you are my favorite) and of course he would want friends that like Quidditch as much as him. But every time Remus gets a little too quiet or just retreats to the back of the room, James goes up to him and stays with him until he says what the problem is.

James was the first to know about Remus’s “issue” (insert dominant alpha male) and would swear on his own life that he would never, ever, ever use it against him in ANY hypotheses (INSERT BLACK HAIRED BOY), and would never stop being his friend because of it. James was also the first person who Remus came out to + admitted being in love with Sirius.

Remus was sure that was the end of their friendship and that James would never look at him the same again (James and Sirius are already friends, but of course Remus is still his n1), but instead James gives him the tightest hug and says that ‘if nothing changed when you said you were a werewolf, nothing will change if you like blokes.’ And he meant it.

Remus who was chosen to be the godfather of his son (again, another hc), Remus who never got over his best friends death. Remus who got a tattoo of a stag on his forearm.

I made their relationship even more devastating. I need a Fic like this thought, let me know if I should write it xx

[favcharacterpoll]

ROUND 5 MATCH 5: RAZ VS. CECIL

Razputin Aquato from Psychonauts 2 faces Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale. Who do you like more?

Raz Propaganda:

"autism"

"I'm literally trans and stole this man's name that's enough propaganda in my opinion"

"vote raz NOW he's my special little son who's suffered more than jesus he is literally autistic and transgender."

"RAZ MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE PSYCHIC ACROBAT CHILD WITH A DEEP KINDNESS SASS AND MILD PYROMANIA HOW I ADORE THEE"

"RAZ NEEDS LOVE HE'S OUT THERE IN THE FIELDS THERAPYING YOUR DADDY ISSUES WITH EMPATHY AND KINDNESS"

"RAZ FIGHTS GENERATIONAL TRAUMA INCARNATE DESPITE BEING NEURODIVERGENT A MINOR AND TRANS"

Cecil Propaganda:

"Cecil is not only the Tumblr sexyman, he is the first gay protagonist of a podcast that most of us have ever heard. From the very first episode he was unashamedly queer and no one has ever called him out or given him shit for being gay. He is a gay Jewish fashion disaster who is the mouthpiece for an incredibly bizarre town and plays the whole “this horrifying thing is completely normal”thing so well. If Cecil wasn’t there, I think a lot of people wouldn’t have felt so accepted for just being who they were. Cecil is an inspiration and the queer podcast rep we all deserved as we were growing."

"he’s gay. he’s a dilf. he’s ageless. he has been since there’s was nothing and he’s still here after the world ended. he can summon music. his mother is a oracle his father is a tree. his cat is a man who got cursed and also has wings a stinger and poison??? he thinks a tutu and crocs is formal wear and has talked to god and she said ‘I love you. I’m sorry’. he’s definitely guilty of manslaughter from negligence"

[starswirly]

[ * WELCOME! ]

[ * Enjoy being held hostage by this post for the next few minutes ]

[ * dividers can be found here, here, here, and here, last updated 1/20/25 ]

[ * Who even are you?? ]

[ * My name is Star or Night! I’m a self-taught artist and I tend to draw fanart for the Undertale Multiverse and my own or friend’s ocs! ]

[ * I use They/Them, Xe/Xem, and It/Its pronouns. I am also happy with other neos! ]

[ * Catkin/Cat therian <3 ]

[ * I’m quoiromantic and asexual, and a minor ]

[ * Wait, what’s up with the text box? ]

[ * It’s just for fun— and is a bit of muscle memory. If it causes issues in a conversation please tell me! ]

[ * …. And Fandoms and interests! ]

[ * Hobbies/Interests ]

[ * I like it draw! Both traditional and digital, though my traditional drawings tend to be a bit more doodle-y. I also occasionally write! Very infrequently unfortunately… ]

[ * Fandoms ]

[ * UTMV/Undertale Multiverse ] [ * WoF/Wings of Fire ] [ * Stardew Valley ] [ * Pokémon ] [ * The Owl House ] [ * Splatoon ] [ * Star Wars ] [ * PJO/Riordanverse ]

[ * I am pretty inactive in things outside of UTMV! ]

[ * and now… ]

[ * Before You go Further ]

[ * I am aware I cannot stop anyone from interacting with what I put on the internet. With that said, if you have taken the time to read this far, I ask for you to continue on to at least this part for my own policies and content of this blog. ]

[ * If I see any bigoted content on your blog, think racism, queerphobia, you will be blocked. Full stop. ]

[ * If you post or frequently reblog content pertaining to incestuous or pedophilic ships, I will not continue interacting with you and may block you. ] [ * A fandom specific example would be things like foncest and dreammare. Respectfully, these things make me uncomfortable. ]

[ * I post and reblog sanscest/selfcest and call it such. If you do not like that, do not continue. ]

[ * I post and reblog self ship and oc x canon content. If you do not like that, do not continue. ]

[ * As I am a minor, nsfw blogs probably should not try to interact. No ill will, just out of precaution. ]

[ * I do not enjoy seeing people put down my interests non-constructively. If you are shitting on things because you personally dislike it, I may block you. ]

[ * I do not support harassment of anyone, and have no interest in discourse. (I do not consider myself proship or antiship. My views have been stated above, and that is that.) ]

[ * Section completed, on to the miscellaneous! ]

[ * Tags ]

Star’s Scribbles <- general art tag

Random Ramblings <- original post/talking

Starry Selfshipping <- on the tin. Me being head over heels for characters

Rotten Apples <- Oc x Canon tag, specifically for my self insert oc Saucer x Nightmare Sans

Mutuals!!! <- for general interactions with friends and mutuals, may be accompanied by a specific ‘[Name]friend’ tag

Somniafable <- my own Dreamtale AU! Also where Saucer is from

[ * Miscellaneous ]

[ * I love asks! Feel free to send them in!! ]

[ * Art requests can be sent in but may not be completed. ]

[ * I am potentially neurodivergent, and I am not good at starting conversations. ]

[ * My friends are so cool actually. Love all of y’all!! ]

[ * In regards to self shipping, I am happy to talk with other people who like the characters I ship with! I may not be super comfortable talking with those significantly older than me, and don’t want to discuss sexual topics. ]

[ * You can find my artfight here >:] ]

[ * THANK YOU FOR READING!!! ]

[ * Bonus: Userboxes! ]

[velvetvexations]

RE: Lovecraft's racism

I don't have anything meaningful to add, just some personal anecdotes.

I started reading Lovecraft from some selected works books, and I didn't see any issue for most of it. I didn't know his reputation, and also I am European so race is not something that I am actively aware about (because POC here are extremely rare and mostly are rich tourists and exchange students rather than minorities). Up until he described Inuits as "dwarfish creatures who call themselves Eskimos".

Later I have read complete collections of his works and saw some absolutely horrific racist sentiments, and also now that I am tumblr-level socialist I can see all problematic innuendos in selected works as well, so it's in no way defense of Lovecraft. Just my addition.

P.S.: I also think that people calling Lovecraft exceptionally racist just didn't read a lot of popular USAmerican fiction of the time. Burroughs is IMO worse, or at least more obvious about it.

P.P.S.: There was a popular joke some time ago like "Lovecraft would go insane if he met me" that was made by white neurodivergent queer people, and I feel that it's weirdly tone deaf. We don't know Lovecraft's opinion on homosexuality or transgenderism, at all. He probably was at least somewhat homophobic considering times, but we just can't prove that he wouldn't have changed his mind if presented with science-based arguments, and autism is definitely not what he considered scary mental illnesses. His entire deal was being racist, not just generally bad person.

P.P.P.S. (wow): Also, not enough people talk about him describing political system of Great Race of Yig (or whatever they are called) as "a mix of socialism and fascism"

Actually, we DO know how he felt about queer people!

From a letter to J. Vernon Shea:

I guess it is true that homosexuality is a rare theme for novels—partly because public attention was seldom called to it (except briefly during the Wilde period) until a decade ago, & partly because any literary use of it always incurs the peril of legal censorship. As a matter of fact—although of course I always knew that paederasty was a disgusting custom of many ancient nations—I never heard of homosexuality as an actual instinct till I was over thirty…which beats your record! It is possible, I think that this perversion occurs more frequently in some periods than in others—owing to obscure biological & psychological causes. Decadent ages—when psychology is unsettled—seem to favour it. Of course—in ancient times the extent of the practice of paederasty (as a custom which most simply accepted blindly, without any special inclination) cannot be taken as any measure of the extent of actual psychological perversion. Another thing—many nowadays overlook the fact that there are always distinctly effeminate types which are most distinctly not homosexual. I don’t know how psychology explains them, but we all know the sort of damned sissy who plays with girls & who—when he grows up—is a chronic “cake-eater”, hanging around girls, doting on dances, acquiring certain feminine mannerisms, intonations, & tastes, & yet never having even the slightest perversion of erotic inclinations.

Even worse, from a letter to James F. Morton:

Have you seen that precious sissy that I met in Cleveland? Belknap says he’s hit the big town, and that he’s had some conversation with him. When I saw that marcelled what is it I don’t know whether to kiss it or kill it! It used to sit cross-legged on the floor at Elgin’s and gaze soulfully upward. It didn’t like me and Galpin—too horrid, rough and mannish for it!

The idea that this fucking dweep saw himself as the alpha male in the room is dadgum hilarious.

And yet, R. H. Barlow and Samuel Loveman (again) were gay. Did Lovecraft know? He met the aforementioned "precious sissy" at a gathering Loveman had taken him to. R. H. Barlow wrote a story lost to us called "I Hate Queers" which Lovecraft read that certainly sounds psychologically revealing, but his brief commentary on it really tells us nothing about the content and if it made Barlow's closet more transparent or not.

Derleth said Lovecraft "seemed" to be unaware they were gay, but what the fuck does that asshole know? Lovecraft personally explained the ideas behind his stories to him and he still fucked up the Mythos for decades with his bullshit. On the other hand, Derleth was bisexual himself, and I don't know how Lovecraft couldn't have picked up on it from this letter he sent him:

I can understand your detestation of sex irregularities in life as violations of harmony and I here fully agree with you. I had previously misunderstood you to mean protestation from a basis of morals, and on this basis I would have stood squarely opposed to you. I have known and still know many people who are sexually irregular, both homosexual men and women, and except for three cases out of perhaps 21, I have always found these people highly intellectual, fully aware of what they were doing, and in all cases quite helpless. Speaking perspectively and in the abstract, I could as easily conceive myself entering upon a monogamous homosexual relation as a heterosexual one—though perhaps practice would change that point of view. To quibble about mere words, I should not say that perverts necessarily lived inartistically.

As to if Lovecraft would have accepted scientific evidence in favor of queer validity, maybe. He was becoming a full-blown Actual Communist towards the very end of his life and his racial views, while still preferring to keep cultures separate, had gotten to the point where he believed a Chinese baby raised by White parents would be essentially the same as a White person, which is, uh, technically progress?

[weirdestcornelius]

going off last anon, but some minors in the fanbase are clearly influenced by the ZCP and Kitty's really creepy behavior. Like, it's not normal for 14-15 year olds to be reading this kind of stuff (there's a reason the comic is 16+) and acting like they're immune to criticism solely because they see KC and the ZCP act that way. if anything that's really telling as to how KC's behavior influences kits followers and how she really can't handle a platform until squeak gets kits shit together. like, there has been multiple children on both twt and tumblr being told their behavior is wrong and that they can't act like that, only to see the kids respond with some kind of excuse / entitlement like KC does. especially since they see people baby KC and makes it look like how squeak acts is acceptable and okay.

Like I said, I'm a minor myself and even I can recognize the obvious issues with this comic. It's not okay by any means to pull the "I'm literally neurodivergent queer and a minor" card anytime someone confronts you about something you've done, and this fandom is definitely fucking some kids up. If you're on the internet, even as 14-15, and can't recognize the fact that that's a really toxic mentality, then I really don't think you should be interacting with people online. I'm obviously one of the mature ones considering I've noticed this, but it's a bit disheartening to see people who are older than me (and even some adults!) have the same mentality. It's unhealthy to believe that you can't be criticized and that you're always right no matter how traumatized, mentally ill, or queer you are. Everyone makes mistakes, the important part is owning up to said mistakes. Which Kc does not do. Ever. I'm not kidding when I say that I act more mature than this grown adult. And before you call me ableist I've also gone through a lot of trauma (if you white knights are reading this). That does not give an excuse to act like this.

Also I feel like a lot of Kc's claims just don't. Work? Kit says that this is a comfort/vent project, but of course aus and ocs and everything else is allowed while if a child dares to criticize anything they're going to go through absolute hell if they show themselves in the fandom. So kids aren't mature enough to give meaningful criticism BUT they're mature enough to deal with death threats and slurs? Great logic the fandom has there.

[autism-alley]

i don't know if you answer asks but you're one of the few blogs still consistently posting pjo tv crit and it's been such a relief. with the amount of praise it's gotten i feel so gaslit like am i just being a baseless hater?? but no there's a reason a lot of the people criticizing the show are writers. it's a poorly written show and the more i think about it the more problems i find

like i was thinking about the way the kids in the show just know everything and how boring it is to watch, especially the casino scene, and something hit me

the lotus casino functions perfectly as a metaphor for traits associated with adhd--the need for stimulation and time blindness. anyone would fall for the casino's lure, but especially adhd kids. the fact that the show takes that away is REALLY weird to me, to put it kindly

if i were being less kind? i would say there's grounds to argue that having these characters, who are children with adhd, be impervious to something that is designed to trap people exactly like them is, on some level, erasure of their disabilities. especially since the one character who does get affected by it is the one who doesn't have the same neurodivergencies as the two who don't. the explanation for why percy and annabeth didn't start to forget themselves was such a lazy cop out and i can't believe people ate it up

i don't know what that writers' room has against literal adhd children falling for traps that are designed to trap people, but it's embarrassing for them tbh

i’m so glad to hear it anon!! i’m a little surprised to hear it too tbh, i wasn’t sure if anyone else was still. interested in discussing it? it seems like the pjo/atla fanbase overlap means most people have moved onto to the live action atla show. and while i am an atla fan, i didn’t grow up with the show the same way i grew up with the pjo books, so based on what we’d already seen/heard of the natla show before it even released + my utter disappointment and heartbreak regarding the pjo show, i decided to spare myself the watch. i would rather keep my memories of the original show untainted; what i have seen of the show resonates with people’s criticisms of the writing (and as someone who has done costuming work. one look is all you need to understand THAT criticism lmfao).

but i’m honestly… surprised? the pjo show did not get the same level of criticism as the natla show? it’s not like pjo is not also very popular with that same generation, sure, atla being a show perhaps made it more appealing and accessible to more kids, etc etc, sure. but from the fan bases themselves, size aside? proportionately? the pjo fandom is FULL of show defenders just blatantly ignoring the show’s major foundational issues if not just outright parading them around as successes, meanwhile the critics are in the minority. compare that with what i’ve seen where the complete opposite is true of the atla fandom, it’s weird!! and especially jarring to me bc it seemed pretty clear to everyone in the atla fandom the show had Issues, meanwhile the pjo fandom heard the promise from rick riordan’s very own mouth this show is going to be faithful to the series’ spirit. it’s so weird to see the wildly different responses to what i think are prolly equally bad reboot shows, with a fandom of similar demographics (clearly not the SAME demographics or the response would prolly be more aligned but you get my point). so i agree anon, i do feel a little gaslit by the pjo fandom, and watching the atla fandom’s very reasonable response to the natla show is like. whiplash. another sign you and i are not losing it lmao

as for the lotus casino, this is an excellent point! i don’t even think it can be called unkind to point out how this episode is a symptom of the show’s overall disability erasure. i would say it’s unkind of the show to erase adhd and dyslexia representation. in fact, because of the explicit promise by its creator to see that representation, i would go as far as to call it cruel to then erase it. if anything, based on rick’s promises to add more representation, i was hoping for elements like autistic annabeth confirmation, since when pjo was first written, it was based off rick’s son and his friends who were all ND, and at the time it wasn’t thought to be possible to be AuDHD, but likely some of those kids probably were (and that then made its way into the books in characters like annabeth!). that would have been the perfect opportunity to add something with the foresight of modern times, but instead we got… absolutely no disability rep from the show aside from a few short lines of dialogue as a lame-ass bone-toss to the book fans.

the pjo show’s biggest crime is its lack of spirit of the original book series, and that book series cradled myself and every other ND child or child in an abusive situation who read it. it offered us a mother who never got angry with us when we showed “difficult” symptoms. it offered us camp half-blood, the idea of a place, a home, where people like us were not just accepted, but thrived. it offered us a new world. it offered us a friend in percy jackson. i do not feel the show truly offers anything substantial. it only takes.

[havinganormalone]

I've been following this case since they were arrested back in August. What is so frustrating and heart breaking is how long people had been blowing the whistle, and how thoroughly the system had failed. Or worse- how the Mormon church enabled and funded this abuse. I have a lot of thoughts about abusive systems that I'll detail under the cut. It's a very rambling path on this high-control clusterfuck.

Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt, the two perpetrators who have each pled guilty to 6 charges of felony child abuse, were brought together by the Mormon church, they were enabled by systemic issues in the way the Mormon church operates and their regressive views on sexuality, and this abuse could have been prevented if the Mormon church had more oversight and was held accountable for the way they operated.

People had been calling out Ruby Franke for years for her strict -abusive- parenting style. I mean, when you post about letting your neurodivergent child go without food, about forcing your son to sleep on a beanbag in the living room for months, about dragging your feet taking a child to the ER so you can clean your house, to a youtube channel with 2 million subscribers, you aren’t exactly being low key. But despite the many, many times people called CPS, she was allowed to continue to escalate her abuse. In fact, it sort of had the backfire effect, with CPS being called so often that they started to tune it out. They had thousands of people blowing the whistle, but an overworked CPS system has to filter stuff out.

Her accomplice Jodi Hildebrandt had been the Mormon church's top referred therapist for years, despite the fact that her license was temporarily suspended in 2012 for her unethical treatment of Adam Paul Steed (more on this later). Despite the fact that Jodi's niece (nonbinary, they/them) Jessi Hildebrandt had reported to the police how Jodi had abused and tortured them as a minor, doing things like forcing them to sleep outside in the snow, forbidding Jessi from talking to others, and accusing Jessi of crimes so frequently that Jessi has said it took years of therapy to believe they were not inherently evil. (You can see echoes of this abuse in the way Ruby's daughter refused medical treatment for her injuries for hours, stating to authorities that they were her fault and she deserved them.)

While the Mormon church did remove her from the official referral list after the 2012 incident, she was still the #1 recommended therapist by individual clergy in the Salt Lake Valley along the Wasatch front. For those who are unaware of Mormon bureaucracy, each individual parish is headed by a bishop, who would meet and counsel with members. If a couple came to him with concerns about the husband viewing pornography, the bishop can recommend the couple to marriage counseling. He chooses the therapist, with no oversight. The church has a referral list of counselors they trust (the same one Jodi was on and then removed) but basically it is up to the individual bishop to choose, and if he (always a he, women are not allowed to be bishops) saw Jodi's name on the list in the past and didn't keep updated, or heard about her from other bishops, he's going to keep recommending her. And then when the young couple can't afford it (Jodi was allegedly charging upwards of $2k a month), the bishop can choose to pay for it from church funds. This was how Jodi was unofficially on church payroll. She never worked for the church, but by getting client referrals from bishops, she was able to charge thousands of dollars and funnel money from the Mormon church coffers.

If you want proof of just how much money Jodi was raking in, feel free to check out the $5.3 million home she was torturing children in. She's selling it to cover legal fees. For a while there, you could take a virtual tour of the home that included the bunker room where she had Ruby Franke's 12 year-old son duct-taped and rubbed a mixture of honey and cayenne pepper into his wounds. You might be able to find archives of people doing the 3D tour on TikTok.

There are also several rumors online that Jodi helped the church develop their Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). I have yet to find solid evidence of this, and have some doubts about those claims, simply because this predatory practice has been around so long that even if Jodi had put together the specific model the Mormon church uses, she is far from the one who developed it. Regardless, both the methods Jodi uses in her ConneXions classroom, Jodi's old company LifeStar, and the LDS (Mormon) Church's Addiction Recovery Program are all alike in the way they pathologize human sexuality.

The basic rundown is that ANY interest in porn or masturbation is treated on the same level as injecting heroin on a daily basis. You are encouraged to treat yourself like an addict, regardless of the frequency of these behaviors. Even men who masturbate once a month are referred to the program. Actual therapists conclude pretty strongly that treating these normal human behaviors like addictions does not help. It increases the amount of shame you feel when doing them, and that shame can have negative impacts on your self-esteem and behavior, not the porn usage itself. It's a viscous self-fulfilling prophecy: porn only negatively impacts you if you feel bad for viewing it.

However, Jodi Hildebrandt made a career off of diagnosing and then treating people for pornography addiction. That cycle is what eventually led Ruby Franke to her. Ruby and her husband were initially referred to Jodi for therapy, and while the exact reasons have not been made public, the fact that Ruby forced her husband to move out a short while later paints a pretty clear picture. This is the exact cycle of control Jodi had done in the past: convince the wife that their husband is a dangerous sexual predator for normal sexuality, make the husband feel guilty, use that guilt to place an ultimatum on the husband so that the wife can force him to go no-contact while still footing the bill, and then milk the couple for exorbitant therapy for as long as this strained relationship can last.

It was this modus operandi that she used against Adam Paul Steed, a victim of childhood sexual abuse while in the Boy Scouts of America. If you don't know who Adam Paul Steed is, the short story is that his bravery in coming forward and refusing to be silenced about his sexual abuse in Scouts resulted in Idaho changing the statute of limitations on underage assault (previously capped at 5 years, which meant the period would expire before many victims had even processed their childhood abuse and had words to define it). This had a ripple effect of allowing thousands of victims of sexual assault in Boy Scouts to come forward about their abuse. So yeah, he's a hero who does not suffer abuse in silence.

Flash forward years later to when Adam Paul Steed was married, and he and his wife were referred to Jodi Hildebrandt for therapy after it was discovered that Adam occasionally watched porn. Adam was forced into the same cycle of being told he is a dangerous predator, he is an addict, he isn't safe. Can you imagine what it's like for a victim of childhood sexual abuse to be told those things? And then as part of his therapy, Adam was essentially blackmailed into attending a support group that contained both men like himself, who occasionally masturbated, along with men who had committed incest and rape. In the eyes of the Mormon church and Jodi Hildebrandt, those sins are all interchangeable.

Being told he was on the same level as the man who had molested him as a child was Adam's breaking point, and that was when Adam put his foot down and refused to endure anymore. As a result, his wife divorced him, and Jodi broke client confidentiality to tell both Adam's bishop and the Honor Code Office of BYU (the Mormon college that Adam was attending at the time) that he was "the most dangerous person [Jodi] had ever met." This resulted in BYU kicking Adam out. He lost all progress on his college degree (BYU is notorious for stonewalling people kicked out when they try to transfer credits, often taking months to years to provide transcripts and making every effort possible to block students trying to transfer to other schools), along with his wife, infant daughter, and his reputation. This was the point at which Adam made a formal complaint about Jodi's breach of ethics in violating client confidentiality, which is what led to her 2012 suspension of her license.

But this did not stop the Mormon church from recommending Jodi. To them, Adam had gotten what he deserved for not being willing to overcome his "addiction." (If you really want to go down the conspiracy rabbit hole, there are also theories that this was intentional retribution for what Adam had done to the Boy Scouts, since for a long time they were the Mormon church's pet program. However, these are just theories that would probably be impossible to substantiate, so I won't go in depth on them here.)

Adam Paul Steed's story is an amazing one of resilience and integrity, and he continues to speak out against Jodi Hildebrandt. If people had listened to him a decade ago, a lot of this horror could have been avoided. He did an amazing 5 hour interview on the Mormon Stories Podcast that brought me to tears several times. Unfortunately, his ex-wife threatened a defamation lawsuit (even though she isn't NAMED in the interview), so that interview has been taken down. It's a darn shame there are no mirrors anywhere.

Anyways, circling back to the point. Ruby Franke is not a victim. A recent evidence dump includes her journal, where she gleefully describes the inhuman torture she put her children through. You can find a ton of breakdowns on Youtube, although I personally recommend Jordan and McKay's video, as they have been covering 8 Passengers (Ruby Franke's Youtube Channel) for years, and were some of those early whistle blowers. Ruby has claimed that everything was Jodi's idea. Quite possibly it was. That doesn't change the fact that Ruby was an eager participant.

These two women were sociopaths who were allowed to operate unchecked. Or worse, were allowed to operate when the checks we have in place failed. They had a propensity towards abuse and exerting control over others that manifested long before it got to the point of forcing her daughter to repeatedly jump into a cactus to "discipline" her. My hope from this case is that it forces us to ask two things:

-How can we better enforce the safety checks we already have in place that failed in this case?

-How can we establish new safety checks to prevent this kind of behavior from ever happening?

While I don't claim to have all the answers, I think a good place to start would be by installing restrictions on exploitative "family channels" on social media. Clearly we need to be more skeptical of the kinds of person that would use their children to earn a buck. Allowing people to earn money from exploiting their children like this offers them the means to shield themselves from consequence. Ruby's money and influence was a huge buffer that allowed her to get away with this for so long. By restricting the income a family channel can make, we would go a long ways towards limiting the power a would-be sociopathic parent can earn. Youtube could demonetize any videos that contain an uncensored minor's face. Brands could not offer sponsorships to child-centric channels. Local government could be allowed to act on publicly available information, ie Child Protect Services could establish a child is in danger based on the exploitation in videos.

Another good place to start would be better restrictions and oversight on how a religious institution operates with for-profit companies. I obviously have very strong FEELINGS about the Mormon church's stance on... essentially everything. However, even allowing the church to continue their toxic attitudes towards sex (a freedom of thought that should be extended to all people), the damage that mindset could do would be limited if churches were not allowed to make mental health referrals with no oversight. This sort of relationship has long allowed things like conversion therapy camps, troubled teen centers, and other dubious for-profit enterprises to flourish. Maybe religious institutions could still financially support their members that were seeking help and needed assistance, but they would have less say on who the member went to. A non-partisan list of curated therapists or resources that members were allowed to choose from, rather than clergy only allowing them to seek help from people who will echo un-scientific and destructive viewpoints, would eliminate the Jodi Hildebrandt pipeline we saw in this case.

Sorry this was long and rambling, this was not 1/10th of my thoughts about this case and the systemic problems with the Mormon church, so it probably is hard to follow. I just needed to vent it somewhere.