#i have a lot of thoughts on this but i can't put any of them into words properly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trippinsorrows · 3 days ago

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ltye: in your hands

authors note: welp. here i am, once again. we're back with yet another 'what if' scenario, prompted by you lovely people in an ask that i can't seem to find to link right now. smh.

words: 3.3k

warnings: none. just sam being sam.

song inspo: in your hands by halle

Roman should have stuck with his first mind. Stayed home. Texted her some excuse about being caught up with work. She would have never found out the truth, and even if she did, he wouldn’t have given two fucks.

Because this shit doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

This dating thing.

It’s gotta be at least the fifth or sixth one he’s taken her on, and each one has been just as miserable up until the point where he gets her on her knees, gagging or bouncing on his dick the minute they get back to his penthouse. Anything before that has been irksome, borderline miserable.

Samantha is stunning. Has been since they were kids, and her body is the most desirable of the women he has on his roster. She leans on the thinner side of what he prefers, but the tits and ass are decent, regardless. She’s also just as kinky as him, which is why they’ve worked all these years.

But, the more “dates” Roman forces himself to power through, the more he’s starting to feel like bedroom activities is where it stops for them.

Technically, he’s always known this. Even if he did have some level of desire to be in a real relationship with someone, which he doesn't, it would never be her. She’s vain, condescending, and seems to think she’s somehow better than the other women he fucks with.

If only she realized he views her just like he views the rest of the women. A warm body with a wet cunt to help him get his dick wet.

“Roman!” Her voice cuts through his inner dialogue as he focuses on her cleavage. The dress she wore, short and tight, doesn’t help his desire to skip to the fucking part of this evening. “Did you hear what I said?”

“No.” Roman sees no sense in lying to her. “I probably don’t care either.”

She rolls her eyes and proceeds to continue like he literally didn’t just tell her he doesn’t care. “I was saying we should go somewhere.”

He’s partially intrigued now. Mostly because he’ll probably need to set her ass straight. “Where?”

She smiles and shrugs. “I don’t know. I was thinking Bora Bora.”

He shakes his head. “So go.”

She frowns, clarifying. “I said we should go, Roman.”

He scoffs, looking off at the ice sculpture in the middle of the upscale restaurant. A waste of money, in his opinion. “What the hell makes you think I have time to go to fucking Bora Bora with you?” He really wants to ask her what makes her think he would want to in the first place, but he’s trying to be somewhat less of an asshole to see if maybe this could work.

His Wise Man’s nervous voice balanced out with sage wisdom returning to the front of his mind.

“If the Elders are to force you into a marriage, why not with someone you already know? Especially someone who you know would have no issue in giving you an heir.”

If only Samantha wasn’t so fucking annoying.

She leans back in the chair. “You make time for these dates.”

Out of obligation. But, he won’t say that. “Yeah, but I can get my nut and send your ass packing in the same night. Can't do that if we're out of the fucking country.”

“You’re suck a di—”

“I’m so sorry.”

Soft. It’s the first thing that comes to mind hearing her voice. Light, almost. Kind. Even with just three words being spoken. And that’s just based off audio. Visually, Roman’s thoughts take an entirely different direction.

Stunning.

Roman’s seen, entertained, and done a lot more with some beautiful women in his time, but the one standing at their table seems to have something more than all of them put together. She’s beautiful, easily one of the most gorgeous women he’s ever laid eyes on. And her smile, small but genuine makes him pause. As does her body.

She’s wearing the same uniform he’s noticed on the other waitresses, but none of them fill them out like she does. The white, long sleeved shirt that’s tucked into the knee length black pencil skirt can’t hide the curves he can practically see through the bland outfit. Nice, heavy breast. Curvy hips, thick thighs and an ass he can partially see from the front.

This. This is his preferred body type. A woman who has something he can grab onto when he’s fucking her from behind. And Roman can only imagine what it would be like to be holding onto those luscious hips of hers while he—

“Oh my god, are you stupid?” Samantha’s annoying voice once again pulls him from his carnal fantasies. She gestures between herself and him. “Can you not see we’re in the middle of something?”

The girl, who Roman would guess is in her late twenties, early thirties at most, immediately looks repentant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—I was just going to apologize for your wa—”

“Whatever.” Samantha lifts her hand, silencing the girl who’s now looking down at her shoes, clearly embarrassed. “What’s the special for this evening?”

“What’s your name?” Roman’s question comes out at the same time as Samantha’s inquiry. However, his voice clearly presents with more of a commanding nature.

She swallows. “S–Solana.”

Pretty. Just like her.

Samantha notices the way Roman is looking at her and is fully confused as to why he’s asking this fat troll for her name. She cuts in again, in that same nasty tone. “Hello? I asked you a question.”

Solana is clearly struggling with Samantha’s aggressiveness, Roman wondering why this bitch is directing whatever unresolved feelings she has onto this innocent girl. “Umm, I think—”

Samantha scoffs, nose turned up. “You’re our waitress, and you don’t even know what the evening special is?”

“No ma’am, I do. I’m sorry. It’s just—it’s been a long day.” There’s a weight to her words, a sadness in her voice and in her pretty brown eyes. Roman notices all of these things and finds himself wondering what the story is. Everyone has one, and hers is suddenly of interest to him. For reasons he cannot understand.

“Pretty unprofessional to bring up your personal life, don’t you think?”

Solana closes her eyes, pausing before answering. She looks exhausted. Mentally and physically. “It’s Squab. That’s the main co—”

“I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.” Roman rolls his eyes. This hoe has been saying that since they were in high school, yet every so often she goes back to having a normal fucking diet only to switch back to that salad shit. “What’s on your—”

“I’ll do us both a favor and get her to shut the fuck up.” Roman has had enough, both of Samantha’s grating voice but mostly her being a bitch to this girl for no reason. He’s a dick on the regular. He knows this. But, never has he come across someone like this Solana woman who, with just her presence alone, exudes such softness. Like, she doesn’t have a mean bone in her fine ass body. And she clearly doesn’t because anyone else would have probably lost their job by cussing Samantha out. Not that it wouldn’t be deserved.

Roman catches the faintest hint of a smile on Solana’s face as she redirects her attention to him. “Give her the salmon. I’ll take your best steak. For wine, you carry Madeira?”

She’s pulled out her notepad and finishes taking down the order before answering with a nod. “Yes, sir.”

Roman’s jaw clenches at that sir bit. He could ruin this girl. “What do you recommend?”

She’s visibly taken back by his question, probably by the fact that he’s asking her for her opinion. “Umm—”

“Roman, I can rec—”

“I didn’t ask you,” he cuts that bitch off with the quickness, eyes never leaving the pretty girl before him. “I asked Solana.”

Her smiles widens as she answers in a more confident tone. “Julio Barros…..1950.”

Roman smirks.

Exactly what he was going to order.

“I’ll take it.”

Their gazes linger on each other a second too long for Samantha’s liking as she cuts in once once more. “You can go now.”

Solana’s smile drops again, Roman suddenly finding himself all annoyed. Her smile is something pretty that he wouldn’t mind seeing more of, though that irritation is waned as he’s granted the view of her nice, round ass and curvy hips swaying as she walks to the back to turn in their order.

Samantha reaches over and touches his hand, Roman snatching it back and sneering at her. “What?”

She sighs. “Baby, I’m trying to talk about us.”

And just like that, he’s annoyed all over again. “There is no us.”

Samantha looks sad only for a brief second. “Roman, I’m not stupid. I know what these dates have been for. You’re trying to see if it could work.”

“If what could work?”

“Us.” She goes on to share. “There’s rumors that the Elders have been putting more pressure on you to settle down and make an heir.” Sam leans over the table, intentionally trying to emphasize her cleavage. It’s nice. He’ll give her that. But, he’s certain it’s nothing compared to Solana though and those big breast of her hers. “I can do that for you. Be that for you. Be your wife. The mother of your children.”

Not a damn thing she’s saying sounds even the least bit desirable. At all.

“I mean, we’ve been fucking around since we were kids. Why not make it official?”

For a lot of reasons. All the reasons. The main one being Roman don’t like this bitch unless she’s choking on or riding his dick.

What he does like, however, and finds solace in is the interactions with Ms. Solana as the evening goes on. They’re not very often outside of her bringing the bottle of wine and their food when it’s ready as well as a check-in here or there on how they’re doing.

Each time Samantha sending her the dirtiest look or just being an ol’e nasty bitch, to which Roman shuts down, cutting her off and even telling her to shut the fuck up.

The girl is just trying to do her damn job. And as his eyes locate and land on her on several different occasions, he can see that she works hard. Moving from table to table, almost saddened facial expression indicates she’s on the receiving end of more verbal lashings from people like Samantha.

That actually pisses him off, Roman having to control and stop himself from doing some out of pocket shit.

Again, for what reason, he hasn’t the slightest clue. He just knows those brief glimpses of her actually smiling, usually when she’s chatting with a coworker, do something for him.

Maybe even to him.

And unbeknownst to him, the intrigue goes both ways, because as shitty a day Solana Miller was having, the handsome stranger with the rude girlfriend or wife or whatever has somehow, someway made this day just a little bit better.

It’s been some time, if ever, Solana has come across someone with such a presence about them. Him dining at this uppity restaurant she was able to score a job at tells her that he’s wealthy. His disposition and the fact that he somehow secured it to where the surrounding tables of where he sits have been marked as unavailable tells her that he has pull. But, the way he interacts with her, a literal nobody, she’s not sure what that means.

Especially with the beautiful woman he’s with, because while Solana thinks she’s every bit a bitch as most of the women who come into this place, she’s a stunning bitch.

Which is why Solana can’t allow herself to believe that that equally beautiful looking man is looking at her in any sort of capacity.

There’s no way in he—

“Solana.”

And just like that, she's frowning again. “Mami?”

The last thing she expected to see this evening was the sight of her mother, already dressed in her scrubs, baby in her arms.

Solana’s baby.

Her 11-month–old daughter, Soraya.

The shock wears off as Nina gets closer, Solana shaking her head, “what are you—”

Nina shakes her head, face apologetic and tone contrite. “I’m so sorry, baby, but I got called into work. I can’t watch Raya.”

Shit

It's inconvenient, but Solana understands it. She remembers the countless times Nina had no other option but to leave her with a neighbor after being called into work at all kinds of hours. She’s always worked so hard to take care of the two of them when Solana was growing up.

“It’s okay, mama.” Solana easily reaches for her daughter, a wave of relief and happiness washing over her as she holds and kisses her baby. The source of all her joy. All of the struggle, every bit of it, is worth it as long as she has her daughter. She’d do anything for her. “How was she?”

Nina gives a small chuckle. “She’s like you were and still are. An easy child.” Solana kisses Soraya’s temple. “Sol…..” And just like that, Solana already knows she’s probably not going to like what she’s about to hear. “I know you’ve said you don’t want to go after him for child support, but it’s not fair for you to be out here working two jobs while putting yourself through school to take care of his child.”

Solana holds Soraya just a smidge tighter. “She’s my baby, mami.”

Nina counters. “She’s his biological child.” Solana looks away, hopeful her manager, Aldis, doesn’t come out and scold her for this little interaction. She’s scheduled to clock out in another half hour anyway. “He should be paying you child support.”

Her mom is right. Solana knows this, knows that it’s not fair for her to have to be the sole provider for her baby girl, while Cruz lives his best life as an absentee, deadbeat dad. And she’s considered on several occasions going to the courthouse to see what she needs to do to get that ball rolling.

But, every time, she’s haunted by something he said the last time they spoke, not even a month after her daughter was born.

“Don’t you get it? We were fine before she came in the picture! We could be fine again if she wasn’t.”

Solana’s never been more disturbed than she was to hear those words leave his mouth. That’s why she’s glad he’s gone, that he wants nothing to do with her or his child. Because she would never trust to leave her baby girl with him in the first place.

And if that means she does it without him contributing financially, that’s exactly what she’ll do.

Solana shifts Soraya from one hip to the other. “I don’t need him, mami.” And she doesn’t. Because if Solana had to resort to sex work to take care of herself and her daughter, it’s exactly what she’d do.

Nina gives a heavy sigh. “Mija, you know I help you when I can.”

“I know.” Because she does. But, the same way that times are hard for her. They’re hard for her mom, too. Everyone’s struggling these days, it seems. Everyone except the rich people who wine and dine without a care in the world around them. “I’ll be okay.”

Always will be.

Nina gives a knowing nod, hugging her daughter and gently taking her granddaughter’s hand, kissing it, speaking in Spanish. “I’ll see you later, okay? Abuela loves you.”

Solana smiles. “Thanks, mama.”

“Always, baby.”

Nina reaches Solana the diaper bag, Solana placing it on the bar stool, knowing it’s bound to be left alone. These rich ass people would never bother with the Ross purchase. With a final parting smile, Nina is off to the hospital, leaving Solana with her daughter who’s just now waking up.

“Hi, baby girl,” Solana giggles at the almost cranky expression on her baby’s face. Raya is definitely not the happiest camper when being woken up.

A glance at the time reminds Solana that she technically is still on the clock and really shouldn’t have her child with her. But, with no other option, she accepts she’ll just have to clock out early and take whatever those consequences are.

But before that, the least she can do is grab the bill from the table where the handsome stranger and his girlfriend sat. She’s briefly disappointed to see the table empty, even if she remembers his deep voice thanking her for her assistance this evening as she brought them that same check earlier.

It’s a silly thing, really. And she tries to push away the disappointment at not properly telling him goodbye. A stranger.

Silly.

Soraya grasps at the collar of her shirt while Solana walks over to the table, pausing as she gets close enough to see that there’s more than just a bill with a signature. There’s cash. A stack of it. Money in hand, she’s confused, because this man paid with a black card, so what—

“Good.”

Solana gaps and spins around, her eyes widening as she looks up. He’s a lot taller than she realized, burly body nearly eclipsing her view of anything else, silky black hair in such a neat, perfect bun. “Wanted to make sure you got it.”

Brows furrowed, it’s hard for her to speak for a lot of reasons. One of which is the fact that this man cannot be real. A man cannot be this handsome. But, he is real, and he’s looking at her.

And Soraya.

“I—” She shakes her head, clearing her throat. “Is this—you already paid—”

“That’s not for the bill,” his voice is so velvety, smooth, and deep. “It’s your tip.”

Eyes widening, her gaze snaps to the wad of cash as Soraya continues to grasp and squeeze her shirt. She doesn’t even need to count to know that this is a nice amount of money.

Too much.

“I can’t—it’s too much.”

He chuckles, “do I look like I can’t afford it?” Her eyes roam over his big, muscular build dressed in fine, expensive looking clothes. He just oozes wealth.

And power.

“N–no.”

“Dealing with Samantha, trust me, you earned it.” Solana looks down, wanting to hide her small smile. His gaze redirects to the child in her arm. “Who is this?”

And just like that, Solana’s proud smile returns. “My daughter, Soraya.” It’s like Soraya knows she’s being discussed, lifting her little head to look at Roman. A big grin on her face before she buries her face into Solana’s neck.

Roman makes a sound, and she can almost swear she sees the smallest smile on his handsome face. “She looks like you.”

That creates such a warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach, “thank you…..”

He looks at her a bit confused, like her unspoken question surprises him, before answering. “Roman.” Roman. “Roman Reigns.”

Roman Reigns. Even his name is powerful.

It fits him.

Solana shifts Soraya around as she starts to get wiggly in her arms. “Well, thank you, Mr. Reigns.” She’s certain the shock of just how much money this random, rich stranger has given her hasn’t truly set in. Because if it had, she’d have a much more visceral response.

A lot more.

“Roman,” he corrects. “Call me Roman.”

“Roman….”

Something indecipherable flashes in his eyes, something that makes her feel a bit unnerved under his intense stare. It’s broken, however, by her now irritated daughter.

“Mama.” Soraya makes her dissatisfaction at being still for too long known by punching her tiny fist against Solana’s chest. “Mama!”

“Shhhhh,” Solana kisses her temple, trying to quiet her down before someone makes Aldis aware of her presence. She looks at Roman, eyes softening, “thank you again.”

Truly. Honestly. He hasn’t the slightest clue how much this will help her. It’s why she can stand here without anxiety and concern about making it to the bus stop on time. Tonight.....tonight she’ll treat herself and her baby with calling an Uber instead.

Might even stop and pick up dinner.

Roman nods, eyes briefly glancing at her daughter again, the smallest smile on his face. “I’ll see you later, Solana.” His head dips a bit in acknowledgment towards her baby. “Soraya.”

The smile is plastered on her face even as he walks off without another word. And it’s only a good two minutes later that she catches onto what he said. A certain word in particular standing out the most.

What did he mean by later?

#roman reigns fic #roman reigns oneshot #roman reigns fanfic #arisnotebook #ltye things

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bookshopsbizarreblog · 2 days ago

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I don't normally care to get involved in Tumblr discourse, but ik you prev so I'll share my thoughts <3. The first set is more in relation to your comment than the root post, but it's your comment that got me thinking.

While your argument makes some sense on paper, and the fundamental core of it is trying to affirm folks trans identities (always a good thing), it still rings a bit.... not necessarily gender essentialist, since that has connotations™, but rigid in terms of what gender means. There is no universal set of features, internal, external, experiential, or socially mandated, that encompass what it means to be any given gender. I'm sure this is something we agree on, barring possible quibbles about how self identification functions. If someone says they're a certain gender (or not, for that matter), you believe them. How they identify is in their hands.

But identifying one way now doesn't necessarily mean that all of their past experiences align with them as their present gender going through that. For some people, I'm sure it does. There is a whole lot of utility in recontextualizing one's past in that way, in, as you put it, declaring that they "[were] not experiencing it as women, they[ were] experiencing it as men who are being treated as women." Or whatever other gender is relevant for the given situation. But it's not necessarily universally true. Case in point, genderfluid people. Someone feeling nonbinary one day and like a man the next doesn't mean that their experiences within the self-identification of nonbinary are all retroactively male experiences. Again, I'm sure that's preaching to the choir here.

For binary trans folks, I can't imagine not applying a similar principle. If someone believed and was treated as though they were a specific gender growing up, and later discovered otherwise, how they choose to relate to and understand their past is their call. The root truth is that gender and identification is a complicated mess, and we are all constantly shifting in our relationships to society and ourselves. Even cis people can experience dysphoria and disconnect from their preferred gender. There's no one unified story for what it means to be any given person. We get to make those ourselves. It'd be completely valid for a trans man to look back at when he thought he was a girl, along with everything that came with it, and pick out the early signs that would lead to them deciding that being a girl didn't suit them without invalidating their previous experience with that gender. We don't have to understand ourselves as always having been one way or the other, even within a binary identification. We can, if it serves us. But it's an individual's decision.

Anywho, that's just my rambling thoughts on what you said. TL; DR - I agree overall with you but think there's room for individual nuance and different self-concepts.

Now to actually address the disconnect I see between you and OP lol

I don't feel like your two claims are contradictory, and the linking factor is empathy. Let's set aside everything else I said, just work with a spherical trans man in a frictionless vacuum someone who has always known they were a man in the wrong body, with all the frustrations and dysphoria that entails. As OP said, they will not have always passed, and will thus have first hand experience of how society treats women.

Now, does this make them a woman? Obviously not. Does this mean they experience it identically to how women do? Again, no (though I'd also argue against any one universal experience with sexism and harassment). But they can still get it. They can still understand how it feels to go through all that due to society's perceptions of women. And I think that's closer to the point OP is making. They're not arguing that being on the receiving end of misogyny makes trans men women.

They're just saying "we experience it too. We understand how painful it can be. Don't discount our pain, or our knowledge of it, just because we're men. You're ignoring a very real struggle many of us have gone through, and that also hurts."

At least that's my reading, prev. Feel free to disagree, and I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm sure I've missed some things and have points people might quibble or clarify. Learning is a constant process and I'd appreciate feedback!

i think im going to lose my fucking mind actually.

this little make believe game that yall are playing where ur all pretending that we have always been passing as cis men is honestly just really sickening to read. as if trans men have never been sexually harassed or abused because society perceives us as women. im genuinely of the opinion that u all just do not believe trans men face misogyny and thats so unbelievably fucked up and just not based in reality. its actually disgusting and vile.

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aychama · 1 day ago

Note

L: I told you to leave me alone

R: I know Sir, but I'm your advisor and I (unfortunately) have to supervise you too.

Raymond sighed as he read the papers in his hands while following Leshy.

L: Do you think I need your supervision? I was doing just fine before you arrived. I'll continue to do so. Leave

R: I can't. We still need to go over a lot of things, we're far behind schedule to discuss real matters which is urgent, I need you to sign the agreement of imported goods from Anchor Deep and the people in the neglected villages are revo-

L: Fine! How many!?

R: Pardon?

L: How many papers, Raymond?

Leshy turned to him with a momentarily anger. To him, Raymond was simply, yapping.

R: Uh, about... 1, 2, 3...

He began counting, sounds of the paper coming to Leshy's ear.

R: 86 papers, sir.

L: Well good luck to you with that. Just copy my signature.

R: Wait, me? Sir I can't just decide on the matters of the whole kingdom!

L: Aren't you my "advisor"? That's your thing, to decide.

R: Yes, I give advice! I don't rule over a kingdom!

L: Too bad so damn sad, I don't feel like listening you talk about dumb problems I won't be paying attention to anyway.

Leshy chuckled a bit and walked towards his work room. Raymond followed right behind, a bit panicked by the king's nonchalant decision. Leshy closed the door behind him, Raymond nearly making it inside.

R: You can't just ignore it! I promise it won't take long... Don't you care about your people? They are suffering! They are doing their best but barely surviving with what you let them have! Not only that, you've added taxes when I was gone!

L: My people are doing fine. You're worrying too much for something so lame, Ray. If I'm really that shitty of a king, go on. Fill my "so important" papers. And I thought you were smart enough to think that.

Raymond rubbed his temples after setting the papers aside. He took a deep breath. Leshy just sat one of the comfortable chairs and leaned back.

R: (God, I prefer hell over trying to convince this man child to do anything) It won't be long before everything breaks down to chaos if you continue to neglect your duties, sir.

L: ...

R: Maybe the other crowns were right about you after all...

Leshy immediately got up and turned towards Raymond.

L: What did those old bastards say about me?

R: Just the usual sir.

He smiled. Good thing Leshy was, well, blind.

R: That you were too young and naive to understand how a kingdom works. The red crown even said he was surprised that you haven't got hunted by your people.

L: That... Grim faced cat! You know what!? I rule my kingdom just fine! I'm the best king out there! They wish they were me! I can rule their kingdoms along with mine if I wanted!

R: Yes sir. You could...

L: Read me the damn papers Raymond! I'm gonna finish these papers faster than any of those living corpses!

R: (Works every time)

___________________________

It was night time when they were able to finish all those papers. Raymond had lit a candle long time ago to read better and Leshy seemed to listen.

R: This is the last paper... It's, it's over

L: Finally, for fuck's sake...

The worm yawned and leaned back. Raymond put the papers in order and set aside, before leaning back like his King.

R: Sir your profanity.

L: Ray I'm too tired to care.

R: You're right... I should be too tired to ask.

L: What's the time?

R: The moon is up by a hand. It's too late.

L: You don't say.

The advisor yawned and drank a glass of water. The King on the other hand rubbed where his eyes should be. It was rare but, sometimes, his eyes would bleed again, his wounds so easy to tear open. The cat panicked at the sight, immediately his tiredness vanishing by worry that overtook.

R: You're bleeding!

L: Don't-

Leshy hissed at him when Raymond tried to touch his face so he backed away. Raymond looked at the blood with sadness for his King.

R: Does it... Does it still hurt? Does it hurt bad?

He asked with a shakey voice as he reached for Leshy's face again. Surprisingly, the short tempered king didn't pull back the second time. He leaned to the touch, to the feeling. Raymond's palm got bloodied as he wiped it.

L:Not anymore. Not like the way it used to...

R: It's good... I think. Is it just pitch black..?

L: People assume so. But no. My vision is my thoughts. I can see just, not in the way you'd expect

R: How so? How can you just- See?

The King chuckled at the advisor's weirded out question.

L: I already know what something looks like. I know colors, I know shapes, I know sounds, the materials, the feelings. And, if you know it like I do, it feels like your whole imagination is your sight.

R: That's... Not as bad as I thought

L: You think about going blind?

R: No, heh, of course not... I think about, how hard it must be for you.

L: You think about me? Now that just makes me shy~

R: My King-

Raymond gave a tired and short giggle as he blushed. Even though he hated his job, he didn't hate the worm necessarily.

L: What? Can I not be curious about why you think about me Ray?

R: With all due respect, that's not the point, sir. I work for you, it's natural that I worry for the one I'm working so close with.

L: And somehow I'm someone you must worry for? The levels you bring me down to.

R: You make it sound like everything is just fine! Is there really nothing bad about being blind?

L: There are bad sides of it of course

R: Like what?

Leshy smiled, putting his hands on top of Raymond's.

L: Knowing I'll never actually see you

AU8WUW8UQOAPAAJUDJDAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HELLO???? THIS IS SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?! How dare you send me this awsome gift as an anon 😭😭😭 Thank you so much omg I didnt think such a simple drawing would inspire someone to write something like this!

THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#ask #royal au ask #leshycat #leshy x yellow cat #not my writings but i dont want to lose this so #writings

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crustyfloor · 2 days ago

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lowkey becoming a Till hater after this. I hte that guy (Regretted writing this 2 seconds later)

It was established earlier in the series that some of the cast do have parents, some know their parents or remember their face, some don't, I feel like it was important to us to know this fact about Till, because this comic answers more questions about him than I had thought, such as where his sense of humanity originates from entirely.

Starting the comic off with "Lo has always wondered ever since the creation was born whether or not providers also felt the same emotions that they were feeling towards the creation" shows more about the environment of Alien stage than I initially thought, Lo seems to love Till more than any "parental figure" I've seen in alien stage, its real, its affectionate, but Alien stage is so dystopian and detached from our society that Humans have no real solid attachment to morality, social code, etc. Aliens could never relate to humans either, so how can they enforce what they don't understand? This leaves Humans to figure it out on their own because no matter what, they'll still be human and feel inexplicable emotions. Love is one of these major emotions that get confused. and loving someone is normal, but I can imagine "Providers" can't afford to be as attached to their "Creations" as Lo was, they couldn't help forming a special bond with Till. But I love that it's immediately established that Lo loved Till as much as they could, and he wasn't brought into the world without care and familial love.

And it's also made clear that Till's passion for art and music was apparent from the jump.. even as a child, he composed his own song and sang it to his mother, he started showing skill and talent at a young age, he was as much of a prodigy as he's always been said to have been, but Lo's expression upon realizing that is so unmistakably afraid. Lo knew more than anyone in that situation how risky it would be letting Till go on because singing, they were more than familiar with the environment of Alien stage, the elaborate display of talent and entertainment on the big screens, the inauthentic excitement of the performers, Till was almost just like them, and Lo knew that Alien stage was where innocent children like him go to be chewed and spat out by Segyein until they had their fill and moved on to the next talent, Lo feared that fate all the same, humans like them didn't have the right to just sing when they want however loud they want, their voices didn't belong to them. Not anymore, but Till had made it into something of his own, he was too naive to know the truth.

They knew the risk, as a survivor, Lo knew what life, what horrors Till would be subjected to if this was ever found out by the aliens who would only use it to hurt and market him, to put him through a grueling cycle of pain until he too met his end on that stage. Lo's ear notch is a nod to their experience, and they were completely right. But as a mother, they didn't even want to take that innocence away from Till, not when his eyes sparked so brightly and pitifully.

In relationships like these in Alien stage, I always see that there is a choice to make between breaking making reality clear or reveling in obliviousness, it happens with Ivan and Sua, Sua and Mizi, Till and Mizi, etc etc. Something has to give and take.

Sua's sister is my favorite example of this kind of exchange, she told Sua bluntly that she would be doomed on that stage as she is now, that she was pitiful, if only to ensure her safety in some twisted, caring way, it effected Sua a lot as a child, living with such deep seated trauma caused Sua to develop an obsession with safety and security based on the fear her sister instilled in her so deeply, to find that warmth in Mizi, Sua was content living in delusion until she had to face it, continuing the cycle.

Lo made the decision to let Till remain oblivious, they, too, found comfort in such childish carefreeness. Like they had hope, they let Till keep singing despite their unease. They cared so deeply about Till enough to prioritize him being himself rather than making him suppress his spirit. The darkness that shadows over Lo's perspective in contrast to the light that makes Till's shines behind Till shows the difference between living in fear--delusion and living freely, oblivious.

The cruelty of their situation was overshadowed by love for a moment, Lo's one wish for their son-- that he would grow up knowing what it's like to love and be loved and chase after the feeling--if only in his heart he would remember how much they tried to show him that love and actively seek it after they're gone, or give it to someone else. They wanted to teach him to be himself through encouraging his love for music.

I don't believe they failed at all. Till was fully aware of how much he meant to his mother, it was so obvious. He loved making them proud, and making them smile and sing with him every time he tried to replicate those 'good cries', Till loved Lo back equally, and as he grew up he never stopped loving.

One thing about Lo's wish was that they hoped Till would never grow up alone. Till's separation from his mother must have had more of an impact on him than we could ever realize from his perspective, even if we never hear about it again, even if he's forgotten about it, suppressed it, it's a trauma that has deeply plagued his subconscious. He lives with that wariness for the rest of his life.

It was Till's fear that stemmed from the pain and regret of losing his mother that caused him to avoid attachments, emotionally suppressing himself, and he keeps his heart behind restrictive chains because he can never let that vulnerability be used against him again, it explains a lot about his relationship with his friends, how he percieves his own relationship with them after going so long not addressing his feelings. He craves connections but fear, and being in the middle of confusion makes him freeze in place and run back to old habits. Jumping to feelings he can easily rationalize, hatred, anger--or avoiding conflict all together.

Even after Lo and Till were separated, Till did not grow up without love, or without the feeling of loving, even though he was alone in his own self-made bubble distanced from his peers, there is a difference between isolation and loneliness, in his case, he remained distant even with his closest friends, or the girl he loved more than anything, as a way to protect himself. But he was never left alone with 4nakt beside him.

When Till can only realize he's loved when he can recognize it and see it for himself, thats what makes the comic being focused on the whole group rather than just Mizi or Ivan interesting, and telling about his character. It drives home the fact that Till was also a little kid who craved connection just like the others, he expects to be left to himself, and his friends seek him out naturally. He valued and loved all of his friends. rather than a specific person like Sua focuses on Mizi and Ivan focuses on Till this shows that everyone who stayed with Till had an importance to him

(Even Sua looks somewhat fond...)

Till grew up knowing what it was like to be cared about and loved it, sought it out, and inherited that touch from his caretaker, What Till gained from his relationship with his mother shows in the way he treats Mizi, Ivan, even Sua. Mizi's kindness and care were a familiarity, something that instantly attracted him to her, it likely reminded him of his mother in a way and he subtly sought out her attention for that very feeling of love and feeling cared for.

With Ivan, he couldn't help caring about him in little ways, it was only natural, if only because it was part of Till's nature to nurture, letting Ivan be himself around him as a parallel to the way his mother encouraged him to be loud about his interests. And Sua, even if they weren't close at all, Sua was an acquaintance to him, hell even the way he treats a little broken flower with just as much compassion shows us how much Lo impacted Till's growth

To the Segyein, Humans are nothing more than a product, to those who disobey, they are punished, to those who comply, living to sing on stage and feed the aliens is their "prize" for living through it all. Their separation was something Lo saw as a their punishment for having their own little rebellion in making music for themselves, loving it, making it into something the aliens couldn't use against them, it was their own little fun, and they could do it freely. It was an inevitable consequence that they could have prevented as Till's caretaker

In the end, Lo probably never lived to see her son grow up, but they prayed for Till's pursuit of happiness. The traces of them, the evidence of their care that they tried to deeply thread into Till's person stayed with him forever, exactly what kind of trace Lo had left on him...they taught him how to love and be loved, they let him love art, they showed him what living freely with no restraints was like, that's the kind of life he fights for even after he's trapped in this system. her impact keeps him kind-hearted and fighting. It keeps him human despite all of the pain he was burdened with as he grows up

And even when his art is his pain, the creation of art and music reminds him of why he lives, what he lives for, it gives him a vague sense of hope even if for a moment, it brings him that same joy he had when he was a child

"Exactly what kind of trace"

The traces you leave behind is what's important to a human, every human is born to die, what matters most is how you live your life, what impact and memory you leave behind, I love Lo's character, even if we have little context around her background, because she knew that fact and wanted nothing more than to leave a meaningful impact on Till, if they were to one day die they wanted to leave him with a trace of them, a message he would never let go of. and that sentiment became deeply intertwined in his being. Till's emotions, his love, makes him the character he is.

The title of the comic expresses this too. "evidence" or "traces"--this comic is evidence of Lo's impact, evidence that Till was loved and knew how to love in return, Till had relationships. His entire existence was the product of love, it's evidence that he was alive and had humanity, that's what makes this comic even more tragic. It's evidence that he was human at all when we can forget that in the midst of the chaos of all of their lives. Innocence where the aliens don't bother to acknowledge. Till isn't a weapon, or a product. And this perspective of him through his mother's eyes reflects that.

The humanity that he holds within himself even after losing family connects him to more people who prove to care for him as deeply as he cares for them. Till was lonely but never alone with the love he had around him, they always come back, the relationships around him that his mother wished he would have so that he would never sink into a lonely abyss, only a boy and his song, and on that wall is a drawing that draws a picture of a life he's always wanted, a real heavenly garden with real trees and a real sky, and the drawing includes the four of them together, because he had always envisioned a life worth living, free, with all of his friends by his side.

The translation is done by @/WhatfaFruit

#alien stage #alien stage till #alnst till #alien stage ivan #alnst ivan #alien stage mizi #alnst mizi #alien stage sua

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starberry-cupcake · 2 days ago

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Welcome back!! I hope you're doing well and, if not, I hope my silly ramblings can make your day somewhat better, like the wildcats used to say: we're all in this together ♥

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

for those of you recently tuning in, this is the tag of all the ramblings

also, I'm officially in the sixth house now, palmolive can't stop me

CHAPTER 46

we're back inside the emperor's bolthole, which is infested

this is what happens when you have a lyctor orgy without the proper protection

gideon is doing her very best to fight the infestation of herald bees swarming and attacking her

she's in harrow's feeble small kitten baby body, so she's dying a lot

I'm gonna try to represent this visually

gideon keeps apologizing to harrow for getting her bits chewed off and her insides pouring out

and puts emphasis on things she wants harrow to remember

"I saw it eat your thumb—these details are important, so keep up with me—and your thumb was back in the next half minute"

"Child, that bee smashed you"

"I touched your intestines, which is usually what, fourth date"

me:

so, gideon takes off harrow's excess bones, which are no use to her, and goes further into the emperor's infested bolthole, where she finds mercygirl

mercygirl thinks gideon is harrow at first and, turns out, she was the one who stabbed her

these lyctors istg

can't trust any of them

mercygirl thinks harrow should be grateful that she stabbed her

and she was aware that harrow had "stuffed the soul of the cavalier in the back of her brain"

NOW WE'RE GONNA GET INTO SOME TERRITORY THAT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY BERSERK, SO BEAR WITH ME

I NEED TO GET MY NOTES BACK FROM MY PREVIOUS RECAPS FOR THIS

she asks what happened with gideon's eyes and, as we have seen in the previous gideon-centric chapter, gideon's eyes are in harrow's face atm, if memory serves

"You're not her—she isn't driving you—but you have her eyes. Why? When they showed me your corpse I didn't think to check the eyes"

"I thought I knew what you were, though I didn't want to believe it..."

now listen, we're starting to tie some loose ends and some of those loose ends are linked very closely to my previous theories

I have been considering the Commander Wake is Gideon's Mom and Has a Personal Connection To Gideon The First and Is The One Connected With The Harrow Notes In Canaan AU for a while now

I need to link the specific recaps where I said this because I need to be transparent about where my brain was at

Evidence A, Evidence B, Evidence C, Evidence D

there's probably more but those are pretty clear

I swear to god if I was right about this I'm gonna screencap my own recap and put it here when the time comes

I've been marinating this one for months

I actually forgot how much of that I had written down in the recaps until I re-read them

mercygirl says that she thought the commander was a bad girl workaholic who put business before family, that she made her "the dolls" and she must have "played silly buggers with the emission" and that "gideon was on her tail"

"And then Gideon ruined everything. Then the commander ruined everything. Then you ruined everything. This could have been over eighteen years ago"

apparently gideon the first was "obsessed" with the commander, which accounts for some of the notes harrow read

I'LL GET BACK TO THAT WHEN WE GET TO THE SLEEPER, MY THEORIES CONTINUE

mercygirl starts calling gideon all sorts of names, including mutant, and keeps being bothered about her eyes

"Lipochrome. Recessive. You are the evidence. He lied to us...and you are all the proof I needed" "Cytherea would have known as soon as she looked at you"

is gideon the first gideon's dad??????? I mean, I always though he might have Something with the mom but my money was on gideon being made through science rather than Traditional Means

I mean, having lyctor genes in some way would account for gideon being a demigod, something I said with those words when I was reading gideon

also, remember when not!dulcinea told gideon she was prettier than the other gideon?? because I've never forgotten

mercygirl confirms that gideon the first was sent to kill gideon's mom

who, according to mercygirl, would have hated to be called a mom

mamá luchona intensifies

all of which aligns with my theory very nicely so far

she calls gideon more names, including "abomination, you heresy, you failed ambition nineteen years too late"

gideon reacts not wanting mercygirl to touch her instinctively

man, my theories are RIGHT THERE to be fully connected I'm BITING THE DESK

but there's no time for any more talk because mercygirl is trying to kill gideon in harrow's body

but she is stopped

she is shot

by not!dulcinea

but I don't think this is not!dulcinea, I previously mentioned her maybe being used by someone, not sure if it's possession or being used or what's going on but I don't think this is her

I thought about gideon the first being the one to do it but if he wanted harrow dead, I'm not sure he'd save gideon now

not!dulcinea says "with a tone that wasn't" hers: "goodbye"

gideon ends the chapter with "what the fuck is going on?"

CHAPTER 47

we're back at canaan au and it's time to perform an exorcism

harrow has a new note

I've been connecting those notes to gideon's mom possibly commander wake (as linked above)

the latest note continues to add to my theory

"end of the line. falling. oxygen can't last the distance and won't redirect power from the payload. instead I will make you watch every moment as I get the last privilege you cannot enjoy you bygone son of a bitch. I hope you're both as sorry as I am."

I still think this is gideon's mom because that's how she died, I mean, she got to the ninth in a suit without air and gideon still had some, allegedly

I've been thinking that one of the two people involved in the situationship triangle described in the notes was gideon the first, and that maybe the other was dr reverend emperor john

he's the most likely to be a bygone son of a bitch, so maybe I'm right

so, if harrow connects the notes with the spirit that's haunting her

and I'm connecting them to gideon's mom....

what if it's her that's haunting harrow?????

I mean, Waker

I NEED TO STOP GETTING INTO THEORY TANGENTS

anyway, all of the ghoulie ghostie friends are getting together for a sleepover exorcism

I didn't use this when I should have, back when the different aus were going by, but here it is

real!dulcinea says "Pal always said I'd be the death of him. And I was..."

he died being a weenie but he's not all the way dead, so it's fine

harrow questions why everyone wants to help her but everyone's totally fine with all this, for different reasons

real!dulcinea is "horny for revenge" (that's a tshirt for the seventh girlies right there)

protozoa is there because duty is his full personality

abby is really grateful to be asked to help (she also really likes tombs, very lara croft of her)

magnus loves his wife

ortus wants a redemption arc and now has a polycule

martita is behaving better than judith

abby asks harrow if there's anything she can remember from the slasher waker sleeper to try to pinpoint who tf it is

there's a suit, blood, a gun and gideon's sword, which is the only thing harrowcita recognizes and doesn't know where it comes from

my money is on gideon's mom, commander wake, probably also the woman in the shuttle poster that harrow saw but didn't recognize back when she met camilla

I'M PUTTING MORE CHIPS IN MY BETS EVEN IF I GET NO MORE INFO RN

harrow is very interested in how abby and magnus make it work as a married couple who are also a necro and a cav

I wonder why she's so interested

anyway, everything goes to shit on the exorcism

like, it goes really, really badly

group project off the rails bad

I mean, they didn't even have blood

apparently the spirit is also tethered to an object out there (the sword??????? possibly?????)

and she (she's a SHE) is pretty much invincible and shooting everyone and performing parkour while she's at it

harrow says camilla would be impressed, which is the highest praise

the sleeper waker slasher potentially gideon's mom (but not sure because it hasn't been confirmed yet) calls harrow by her name, but in a way that sounds like she's never said it before

she says it like a curse, which maybe means she knows, to some degree, how harrow was made????

she's basically doing whatever she wants over here, shooting ghosts, punching ghosts, throwing them around, regenerating, not bleeding, pulling guns out of thin air

I mean, ok, we got it, calm down lady

where was this energy when it was time to kill the emperor

she says there's "no magic" there and that "she's been doing this for years"

she wants harrow, so she can kill her and use her body to "finish it"

WHICH MAYBE MEANS KILLING THE EMPEROR???

OH MAN I DO WANT THAT TO HAPPEN

BUT NOT AT THE COST OF HARROW

also, mrs potentially gideon's mom, even if harrow dies, there's also gideon in the body right now so, it's a bit crowded atm

maybe find another way to kill the emperor

use not!dulcinea instead, if you can get the current tenant to leave

the chapter ends with: "ortus cleared his throat"

MAN, I HOPE HE DROPS SOME POETRY LINES, WE SURELY NEED THAT

and that's it for today!!!!!things are certainly heating up in the emperor's bolthole!!!! see you soon for the next installment, fingers crossed for my theories!!!

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt #tlt spoilers #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #long post

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luesmainblog · 1 day ago

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i hope it's okay to add my thoughts as well, as this is something i think about a lot as a System(multiple people in one body, which the majority of people see as inherently a delusion) and a Kinnie (essentially "i was this character in a past life". again, most people consider that delusional).

it does not matter how stupid or obviously fake the delusion sounds to you, and it is not your responsibility to bring someone back to reality. in many cases, that can actually be worse for them, not better. what matters is, are they Functioning? do they need help from you in this moment to function? if they are distressed, how do you alleviate the distress? you do have to pick your battles carefully when it comes to delusions. it's relatively easy to show somebody, based on evidence, that they are not turning into a werewolf. it can be much harder to convince them they aren't poisoned, especially if there is no food left to test and no rational reason why they would be. but you know what you CAN do? put a bunch of black food dye in a drink, give it to them and tell them it's activated charcoal and that'll disrupt anything they've ingested. hell, if they're not currently on any oral medication, you can give them the real thing. yes, it's treating the delusion as Real, but it's also performing a harmless action to make them feel safe again. "monster spray" type shit. one that people in other mental health circles may be familiar with is the delusion that you are an evil, horrible person who just poisons everything around you and is better off dead. this one is often hard for people to deal with, because it can come from a number of different places, each with their own approach needed. of course for a normal highschooler you can usually just ask them if they've done [terrible thing someone real did] and when they say no you can declare that CLEARLY they can't be the worst person in the world, then. sometimes it comes from intrusive thoughts that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about; convincing someone they're not terrible just because they fantasize about fucked up shit is largely an excercise in teaching them that actions are what actually matters, which many people inherently disagree with due to their upbringing. but i honestly think the hardest one has to be people who've ACTUALLY done something wrong - or, at the very least, people who are convinced they did in a past life or another dimension. because with them, you have to focus on moving forward as a better person and living with the guilt, and that one can either be a lot to ask, or it can be extremely frustrating because you don't personally believe this guy was actually dracula, so why is he so worked up about killing people who were not real? sorry, big wall of text; my point is, there are some delusions where if you want to address them and help, you need to be prepared to be uncomfortable and possibly even grapple with some genuinely hard questions. or, you can try and find a way to distract them from their thoughts. it won't always be possible to reality check someone, and you need to be okay with that if you're going to be close with a delusional person.

and i've said this before, but i'll say it again: who cares if the lady at ihop thinks she's cleopatra stuck in the present. what does it matter? let cleopatra work at ihop, it's not your business. if it's not hurting you, and she's managing the stress of time travel just fine, leave it be.

also, i feel like this should go without saying, but one of the worst ways to make someone's distress even worse is to accuse them of faking their mental health issue. seriously, the amount of times i have seen somebody have an anxiety freakout like OP describes and be told "you just want attention, you know damn well there's nothing wrong with the food, sit down" is genuinely heartbreaking. if that's ever happened to you, from the bottom of my heart, i am offering you a full serving of your favorite food.

I want to add to the post I just reblogged about delusions and how to help people with them, but op was specifically schizophrenic, and the last time I tried to share a related story on a post like that, a different OP got extremely angry that I didn't have an identical disorder to them and accused me of derailing, so I'm making a new post.

I have severe anxiety. The things you can believe when you are going through an acute anxiety attack or panic attack can be so extreme they can be classified as delusions. I've been convinced I poisoned myself, I've been convinced I had rabies, I've been convinced a building was going to burn down, I've been convinced my blood was full of bug eggs that were going to hatch and kill me.

Doctors and family members who have helped me the most were people who took those fears seriously, who examined me no matter how irrational my fear was, and who told me why, based on what they observed, my fears were unlikely to be true.

Instead of "you can't possibly have rabies", it was "the dog is vaccinated, so it can't have rabies, and the skin where it nipped you is not broken."

Instead of "Of course your blood isn't full of bug eggs" it was "bug eggs would have hatched by now" which was so coldly logical it completely snapped me out of my panic.

Instead of "I'm sure you didn't poison yourself", the doctor looked at the bug spray and the ingredients and listened to how I used it and said "based on your exposure, you haven't been poisoned".

#long post #mental health #delusions

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mikimakiboo · 3 days ago

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I was wondering if you were doing anything for/with the apple incident. Since it would be like, a clarifying moment for the guys in the tt gang. Like that’s why he’s jumpy and scared all the time. That’s why he was so rude and scared. That’s why he stopped talking to them, he thought they would be aggressive and violent. The servants could think he was cursed by the devil, or a witch or smth. Till it reached a high note, then him and Dream slowly reconciled and reconnect. Then night just starts pouring his soul out with him bc he’s so lonely and scared.

My time to shine and ramblllleeeeeee

Btw since you asked something about my AU just assume I'm in love with you, okay ? I'm your wife now /jk

As you can imagine the answer will contain spoilers regarding Nightmare's backstory SO I'm putting it under the cut :D

So regarding the apple incident, whenever I make AUs including Nightmare he is always corrupted, however the tree of feelings doesn't always fit the narrative, like in Time Travelers AU where Nightmare was born and lives as a noble in the 17th century and not 500 years ago as a guardian

So since there isn't any tree of feelings there isn't any apples either so there technically can't be an apple incident

So that's when the second scenario comes in handy: magic overdose :D

Basically at the age of six Nightmare's magic starts to grow a little too much, he would often choke on a black goop that would form in his soul and go in his throat for him to throw up, and it's a long and painful transformation, I'm talking about years here, from his six years old to his ten years old his magic would slowly overwhelm his soul more and more, come out of the joints, mouth, nose, eyesockets, he would choke and develop quite severe chronic pains until he's eventually covered in goop just like his original corrupted self

One good thing with that scenario is that it allows me to give him a softer personality as he wasn't exactly corrupted, his magic just got messed up, but he's still the same person as his passive self

Now, as Nightmare is living in a very religious time, everyone thought that his messed up magic and black goop was due to some demon possession or that he was cursed by either God, Satan, or any other divine force, and so Nightmare had to go through a lot of exorcisms, lots of different covens but of course none of it worked

He was always insulted and looked down upon as he was seen like a curse by himself: his father died young (when Dream and him were babies), his mother died young too (when they were young adult) and everyone blamed him and his mere existence for it and every other bad thing that happened to other people he ever talked to or looked their way

His own mother, Nim, was part of the people insulting him, by telling him that he was her biggest failure and she should have left him in a coven if only Dream didn't insist so much to keep him

So yeah Nightmare doesn't really think very high of himself and is fully focused on being as good as he can so hopefully people won't see him as a curse anymore

Dream was actually the only one to never turn his back on him, even when they were in different covens/schools (nobles were placed in special schools from 10yo to 18yo, very strict, they had to speak Latin too so that's why Nightmare is fluent) he would always send him letters, so their relationship never got too bad, Nightmare did have a period when he didn't respond to the letters but he never felt resentment or anything toward his twin because he was actually his only friend, so when they were back home together when they got out at 18 they actually became even closer because Dream was really the only one who would listen to him and genuinely love him

So yeah the two brothers are inseparable and rely very much on each other, Nightmare tells everything to Dream and Dream also talks about anything and everything with Nightmare

Now regarding the tt gang, when they learnt about the backstory they did assemble some pieces regarding Nightmare's behavior

Because his obsession with being perfect and not mixing with them, hardly talking to them and keeping his perfect noble image is actually trauma response after years of being talked down and seen as God's mistake, so now he has to appear perfect at all time so he won't have troubles anymore without realizing that this image hurts him too as he bottles up everything he feels and do not act like himself AT ALL

So yeah the backtory do make them understand his behavior better and they do feel very bad for him because obviously it wasn't his fault, he was only a child who should have gone to the doctor to have some magic drained out instead of being exorcized every two days and treated like shit

They'll eventually work through the trauma together

Hope that answers your question :D

#original post #ask #anonymous #time travelers au #tt au #nightmare sans #nightmare!sans #tt nightmare #dream sans #dream!sans #tt dream #dreamtale #dreamtale nightmare #dreamtale twins #dreamtale brothers #dreamtale dream

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lobotomisedsims · 2 days ago

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SIMS 4: BEETLEJUICE MOD

Though I know I should be wary,

Still I download some mod scary,

Ghostly CC I turn loose:

BEETLEJUICE!

MORE INFO UNDER CUT

New CAS items:

Beetlejuice's suit (4 swatches, clean and moldy versions and different shirt colours)

Beetlejuice's trousers (2 swatches, clean and moldy versions)

Beetlejuice skin (different versions found in different places. You can find them in eye details, face paint, lipstick, and eyeshadow. Lots of different swatches for the version you want!)

Dolores's stitches (in facepaint and body scars. Version in scars has the stitches and seams separate to be put together similar to GrimGuide's halloween stitches if you've ever used that before)

Sandworm eyes (in... eyes. Where else would they be?)

Sandworm skins for SaveState furries (also works with SoraFoxy's furries and tomjj's furries, though some of the bird beaks look odd. Does not work for benji's furries. Looks weird.)

New BuildBuy stuff:

Delia's statues (set of 4, found in 'decoration'. This was my first time modeling in Blender so sorry if they came out a lil wonky!)

Beetlejuice's tombstone (3 swatches, 2 of different spellings of his name and 1 in simlish. Found in 'decoration'. PURELY DECORATIVE, DOES NOT FUNCTION AS AN ACTUAL TOMBSTONE! To get it to look more like the version from the films, I'd reccomend using the bb.moveobjects cheat to add a lil gargoyle of some sort on top)

Handbook for the recently deceased (MIGHT require Seasons? It shouldn't since I messed with the mesh and stuff but if you don't have that pack and it doesn't show up in your game let me know. 2 swatches for English and simlish. Found in 'activities and skills')

Striped wallpaper (10 swatches! I kind of went overboard. Found in 'wallpapers'... duh)

Striped chair (5 swatches, found in 'comfort'. Again this shouldn't require anything else if I edited the mesh properly, but it's possible this might require Cottage Living if I screwed up.)

New traits:

STRANGE AND UNUSUAL TRAIT

Faster at training photography and medium (from paranormal stuff) skills

Slower at building friendship and romance with other sims

Stronger 'sad' moodlets

Become inspired around occult sims (vampires, werewolves, aliens, spellcasters, mermaids, and the skeletons from jungle adventure)

Permanent happy buff when they themself become an occult (does not include the skeletons as it is a hidden trait you can't give to sims without cheats or other mods)

Random chance for sad moodlet because "nobody understands them"

Are happy when in Strangerville, become inspired in the secret lab (fair warning, I've had issues with getting this to work, this is my first set of traits so it could cause some issues! If anyone better at this stuff than me knows how to get this working 100% of the time please let me know ;u;)

Can give a "strange introduction" to new sims

Can "share dark thoughts" with other sims

Can "enthuse about cryptids"

NOTE: If you are planning on making Lydia, I would reccomend using this in conjunction with the base game 'gloomy' trait. When making this trait I didn't want to just replicate Lydia's personality exactly since I wanted this to be a trait you could use on any sim, and I didn't want to make it too similar to the 'gloomy' or 'paranoid' traits.

GROSS GHOST TRAIT

Immune to death! Since they're already a ghost and all that

Faster at training mischief and medium (from paranormal stuff) skills, slower at training charisma

Playful buff when engaging in mischief

Social need decays fast, hygiene need decays REALLY fast

Positive reaction to being dirty or in a dirty environment (including the fixer-upper apartments in city living! Receives energised moodlet upon spotting roaches and inspired moodlet with the unexplained smell)

Gains uncomfortable moodlet when clean

More likely to feel playful

Other sims will notice a gross smell around them...

Cats and dogs are scared of them (could not figure out how to do the same with horses, sorry)

Can "gross out" (mischief) and "freak out" (mean) other sims

Can "lie about being a serial killer in a past life" and "convince to visit the Neitherworld" (mischief)

Can "confess to eating bugs" and "reminisce on past pranks" (friendly)

Can "tell terrible puns" (funny)

OPTIONAL BONUS STUFF!!!

Suit and trousers based on my OC Sirius (I don't know why anybody else would wanna use these but I threw them in there anyway!) 2 swatches

I did make their little noose 'necktie' too but had trouble texturing it. No matter what I do it just shows up completely black in game. So I gave up lol

>> DOWNLOAD HERE!!! (SFS) <<

PLEASE READ! For the traits you NEED to also download the .ts4script file, not just the .package file!!!

OTHER RECOMENDED CC (important)

Some of these are REQUIRED for parts of the mod to work, others are other people's Beetlejuice related CC I thought was cool!

SaveState's furry mod (REQUIRED FOR SANDWORMS) https://www.savestatecomic.com/dlc/

@daylifesims's Lydia hair https://www.tumblr.com/daylifesims/700120977032560640/gothic-side-set-lydia-and-here-is-the-most

@kismet-sims's Lydia hair (now you got two options! lol) https://kismet-sims.tumblr.com/post/179286280949/simbleen-gift-one-lydia-hair-made-it-from

@mosneakers's posepack + Lydia inspired hair https://www.tumblr.com/mosneakers/765876897461764096/day-o-posepack

@I-too-love-mr-beetlejuice's musical Beetlejuice CAS stuff https://makesims-finds.tumblr.com/post/190684018895/ok-so-i-was-getting-impatient-and-decided-to

Divider by @strangergraphics!

#simblreen #beetlejuice #sims 4 #the sims 4 #sims #the sims #sims 4 cc #sims 4 mods #sims4 #ts4cc #the sims 4 cc

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teruwasright · 21 hours ago

Text

Ok I feel like people over play Teru being sadistic in his character???

Yes he is (when it comes to supernaturals mostly) and I'm all for toxic Terukane but I feel like people are putting to much focus on it to the point of OOC- I think it's people's lingering hate for Teru that there still trying to make him the soul bad person even tho I absolutely KNOW Akane is also bad and would add to it as well-

I also have a mutual that ships NatsuTeru that thinks Teru would get enjoyment out of hurting/killing Hiko- ofc everyone can have there option on how a ship would be and if you enjoy the more toxic side of it that's completely fine but they think Teru would GENUINELY enjoy it- like canonically? And I've seen Terukane fics similar and idk it makes no sense to me? Teru isn't THAT sadistic at all in canon (ofc AGAIN he IS sadistic but not to that degree-)

Idk OFC no hate to any people I'm talking about- just bc I disagree doesn't mean you can't think what you do- and I'm not hating on my mutual at all ok lmao I love there crazy out of box takes and that's exactly why I'm mutuals with them even if I don't agree

I just wanted to talk a little about this bc a lot of people think this also mischaracterized version of Teru is how he would in Canon feel- ofc everyone's take on a character will be a little OOC but I personally don't think Teru's nearly as sadistic as people make him out to be and I feel like it's aggregated in his character a lot more then it actually is-

Idk I'm just sharing my thoughts a bit- don't take it to seriously lmao

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gojoonsaturn · 2 days ago

Text

pairing: singer!Suguru Geto x fem reader

wc: 8158 (i'm sick)

summary: Suguru Geto returns to university after spending a year in treatment for his drug and alcohol addiction. At his friend's party, Shoko Ieiri, he meets you and helps you when you get into trouble. What happens next?

a/n: I would like to explain why Y/n and Mahito are a couple at the beginning of the story. As I love all of the male characters in JJK (except Mahito), so I wanted none of them to have a negative role in this story. Therefore, I decided that Y/n should be dating Mahito at the beginning. Oh, and if you want, you can imagine Suguru sings "Call out my name" by The Weeknd.

warnings: song inspired fic, university au, Shoko and Suguru are singers (actually, everyone is singer here except y/n), mention of drug and alcohol addiction, drug intoxication, swearing, fluff, a little angst, mention of the death of minor characters (y/n's mother), sex. In short, read!

english is not my first language, nor even second, so there may be mistakes, but i really spent a lot of time proofreading and improving my works.

Suguru left the principal's office and felt a sense of familiarity with the university atmosphere, which seemed to have flown out of his mind during his year-long break from Tokyo University of Arts. He was glad to be back on campus.

He called Shoko, his new classmate, to ask about the class schedule. A cheerful voice came from the other end of the line.

"I'm so happy to hear from you!" Geto said, with a smile that Ieiri could hear in his voice. "I just left Yaga's office, and he said he'll put me in your study group, so, I need some information about assignments and the schedule."

They agreed that Shoko would email him all the information about her classes.

"By the way," she added in a tempting voice. "I'm throwing a party tonight! You should come!"

Geto hesitated, as parties hadn’t ended well for him in the past, but Ieiri reassured him that there would be nothing to worry about – there will be just food and low-alcohol drinks.

"I can't make any promises, but I'll keep it in mind." He said, hanging up the phone.

He then went to the parking lot and from there, to the apartment he had rented the day before.

Suguru was a student at the Faculty of Arts, studying music. He often received offers from producers who came to the university to arrange auditions. His voice was exceptionally beautiful, and his lyrics were so soulful that his works were sold for good sums. With the money he earned, Geto was able to purchase a good car and rent a comfortable apartment near the university. Even though the treatment at the clinic was not cheap, he had enough money to maintain his previous standard of living.

The musician entered the apartment and looked around at the empty studio, feeling a sense of loneliness gnaw at him. He thought about how he would spend the evening alone and felt a bitter realization that all his friends had moved on without him. Memories of past parties sent shivers down his spine, but he made a decision not to go back to those types of gatherings.

But he didn't want to disappoint his friend. Suguru changed into a black polo shirt and jeans, checked himself in the mirror, and left the apartment.

Shoko's house was located right on the shore of Tokyo Bay. As Geto drove there, he felt a sense of determination to meet new people and understand what university life was all about.

On his way to the house, he heard muffled music and joyful screams from people. He called Shoko and asked her to meet him. She came out, happy, and rushed over to give him a hug.

"Oh, Geto, I've missed you so much!" Ieiri exclaimed, pulling away and smiling at him. "Let me introduce you to my friends!"

Suguru's expression softened, and he agreed. After a few minutes, they were standing in front of a group of people, and Shoko introduced him as her friend and new classmate.

One of the guys, Mahito, greeted Geto and complimented his music. "I've heard some of your songs. You make great music."

Mahito was standing with a girl who was holding a drink. She seemed bored at first, but when she saw Suguru, she smiled and greeted him as well.

"This is Y/n," Mahito introduced his girlfriend. "She's from Sophia University and studying English literature."

Y/n smiled at Geto, but then seemed to lose interest in the party and disengage from everything around her.

After some time, Shoko approached Suguru and invited him to join her to perform a song they had written together before his departure. Suguru accepted the invitation and joined Shoko on the makeshift stage.

"Friends, I am delighted to introduce you my friend Suguru! This song is the work of both of us, and it was written even before..." Shoko paused, as she was the only one aware of the reason for Suguru's absence the previous year. "A year ago! You will be the first to hear this track, which in a few months will surely be on all of the world's best charts!"

Shoko began playing the song and clapped her hands to get the audience excited. As she sang, Suguru felt goosebumps on his skin. He noted that Shoko had significantly improved her vocals and was now singing as if she was breathing. Suddenly, a wave of anxiety washed over him, as he had not practiced for a long time. His eyes excitedly scanned the crowd and settled on Mahito's girlfriend. She smiled at Shoko and, surprisingly, started singing along with her. Then, she looked at Geto and winked.

And as soon as the first line was sung, the crowd cheered on him even more and started to whistle with encouragement. The singer listened to the music and recognized that he felt it no worse than he had been a year ago. Overwhelmed by the experience, he closed his eyes in pleasure, only opening them when Shoko joined him in singing. After the song, they bowed to the audience and clapped for each other.

"I have heard this song performed by Sho many times and thought it was perfect, but when I heard it with your part, it's simply heavenly!" Y/n ran up to the performers and hugged Ieiri, then turned to Suguru.

Geto smiled at her and thanked her for the compliment. That's how she knew the words!

Mahito stood next to Y/n, but Suguru didn't notice any encouragement on his face. He tugged at her arm, and she almost looked at him in fright, immediately falling silent. Geto looked at Shoko, who had clearly seen similar behavior from her classmate before. She rolled her eyes and gave Y/n a sympathetic look. The couple moved away into the crowd, and Suguru continued gathering applause with Shoko.

A few hours later, Suguru realized that he was better off without alcohol and drugs. He met some of his classmates and other students from different departments. It was nice to chat with people who shared his interests and discuss music. While chatting with a girl who flirted with him, he saw Mahito leading his girlfriend upstairs. For some reason, Y/n seemed about to faint. Suguru had a bad feeling and left the girl to follow Mahito and Y/n.

On the second floor, Suguru saw Y/n trying weakly to wave Mahito away. However, he continued to approach her.

"Damn, I told you..." She tried to swing him, but he caught her hand and pushed her back against the wall.

"I think she made herself clear," Suguru said, covering the distance between them and pushing Mahito away from her.

Geto didn't know how Y/n had become so drunk in such a short time. Mahito, on the other hand, seemed very sober, even though a glass of something other than soda was constantly in his hand.

"Mind your own business! Go sing with this bitch!" Mahito snapped, pushing Suguru's arm away and moving towards the girl again.

Suguru didn't want to start a fight on his first day back, but he hated when his friends were insulted. So, he calmly pushed Mahito back again, this time with more force, sending the guy flying towards the stairs.

"Leave him alone, please! He's not worth it..." Suddenly, Y/n grabbed Suguru's arm. Through her glassy and intoxicated eyes, he saw her serious expression. "Just help me, please..."

Geto noticed that Y/n was struggling to stand up, and there was a trickle of blood flowing from her hand. Mahito must have hurt her in some way.

He picked up Y/n and carried her into the bedroom, laying her down on the bed.

"I feel like there's something wrong with my mind... I understand things, but I can't seem to control myself..."

Something clicked in Geto's mind. It wasn't just alcohol. "Tell me, have you taken any drugs or pills?"

Y/n shook her head vehemently. "No, I don't do drugs! I wouldn't take anything like that!" But then, a look of realization crossed her face, and she added, "Not intentionally, anyway."

Geto opened her eyes and saw enlarged pupils. The girl began to tremble. Beads of sweat had formed on her forehead, and he realized what was causing her condition.

"Listen, you don't need to move too much right now. Just lie down and rest. I'll bring you some water. We need to wait for this to pass and give you plenty of fluids." He helped Y/n lay down and covered her with a blanket.

Downstairs, Suguru explained the situation to Shoko. She promised to deal with Mahito and started winding down the party. Guests started saying goodbye and leaving the house. Shoko got a bottle and filled it with warm water, then they headed upstairs to see Y/n.

"I'm so mad at that bastard!" Shoko said, pouring some water into a glass for her friend. "I've told you time and time again that he’s not good for you."

"You're making things worse!" Even in this state, Y/n managed to smile.

Suguru looked at her and remembered how many girls he had seen in this condition. And the worst thing was that he was the one who had brought most of them there. The guilt he felt before his treatment at the center came back to him, and Geto hated himself again. But then, the next moment, Y/n turned to him.

"If it wasn't for you…" She said, struggling to speak. Shoko handed her a glass of water, and Suguru felt all the symptoms that Y/n was experiencing at that moment. Dry mouth, thirst, nausea, chills that were replaced by fever. "In general, thank you..." She smiled weakly and closed her eyes, trying to control her shaking.

"You can go home." Ieiri whispered. "I'll stay with her. I have experience with these things."

She looked at Y/n with sympathy and at Geto with a sense of guilt. She had been there most of the time when he had brought himself to this state. There were countless apologies in her eyes for not being able to protect her friend at that moment.

"Don't worry." He said. "You've done your best and you're doing great." He hugged Shoko and crouched down next to Y/n, stroking her cold cheek with his finger. "She's strong." He continued. "She'll be okay."

For the next week, Suguru joined the learning process. Some teachers were pleased to see him, while others were skeptical, knowing the reason for his absence. The groupmates assisted Suguru with his learning, and he in turn provided them with tips that helped them improve their musical skills.

At the end of the month, each student had to create their own project and present it to a professional music producer. The producers selected the best performers, recorded their tracks in their studio, and promoted them. Naturally, each producer had different criteria and ideas about what music would appeal to their audience. The teachers explained that not being chosen by a specific producer simply meant that the student's music was not in line with that producer's taste.

Geto recalled with a smile his audition experiences, which in 95% of cases ended in success. The secret to his success was that he looked through the producer's repertoire beforehand and created a song that he would perform. His versatility as a musician allowed him to pull off this strategy.

"Yoshiki Yamada!" A joyful Shoko announced to her group a week before the audition.

"His label is the best in Japan for today." Nanami said with excitement.

"Yes, it will be success if we manage to work with him." Geto replied.

Geto turned his attention to Mahito, who turned even darker when he heard the name of the producer. He thought about the incident with Y/n and how Shoko had said she was okay, but he wanted to check on her anyway. Looking at Mahito, Geto decided he would go see Y/n after the audition to see how she was doing.

Geto flipped through the list of artists from the "TOUCH" label and listened to their latest tracks. Love ballads seemed to be the focus of the most recently released tracks.

The young man sighed and leaned back on the couch, feeling like it was time to finish the song he'd started writing before his drug problems started. All he needed to do was improve a few details and it would be finished.

On Friday evening, his band gathered in the auditorium, anxiously waiting for the producer. Shimizu-sensei, the professor who was responsible for organizing auditions, assured his students and prepared them for success.

The door opened, and a man in his middle age wearing a long black coat walked in, taking it off as he came. Shimizu greeted him and guided him to a seat in the center of the front row. Yamada appeared to be a friendly person, smiling warmly at the students and wishing them luck. His eyes fixed on Mahito, who seemed to be pale.

The group sat behind Yamada, preparing to support each other. Utahime was the first to perform, looking very excited. She began with some slightly wrong chords, but then everything went well for her.

Yoshiki took notes in his notebook, writing down various things beside the students' names. After her performance, Shoko nudged Suguru, pointing to Yamada's notebook. Suguru tried to look, but the producer blocked his view with his hand.

Suguru was the last to sing. When he stepped onto the stage, he saw Y/n at the back of the room. He smiled and winked at her.

"Good evening. My name is Suguru Geto. Here's my song, please, Haibara." He turned to the DJ and made a nod, indicating that he was ready to start.

As Suguru began singing, Y/n felt a shiver run down her spine. His voice was so beautiful and enchanting that it made her forget everything else around her. But at the same time, his words made her heart hurt in a way that was familiar. Y/n glanced around to make sure no one else had noticed her own tears, and discreetly wiped them away.

Suguru noticed Y/n looking at him with a new sparkle in her eyes, and he gave her a small smile. He then bowed to the audience and looked over at Yoshiki, who was applauding along with the rest of the group.

A few minutes later, Shimizu invited Yamada up onto the stage to announce the results.

"Dear students! Thank you for such wonderful performances. You have shown that you deserve to be in this university. For now, I won't be announcing the results. Instead, you will all receive an email with an invitation for a follow-up audition. Please don't be discouraged if I don't invite you. This is not a personal decision, but one based on my professional interest in your potential as performers. Remember that not you are looking for a producer - the producer is looking for you. Once again, thank you for coming tonight!"

The students applauded Yamada's performance. They were disappointed that they would not find out the results immediately, but the words the producer used to end the evening inspired them.

Suguru wanted to talk to Y/n, but she had already left.

Everyone in the group was in a state of anxious anticipation for the weekend. They were eagerly waiting for the much-anticipated letter from the "TOUCH" producer and were already imagining recording a solo album with him.

"Guys, check your emails!!!" Shoko sent in the group chat.

Suguru grabbed his laptop and opened his inbox, which contained an email with the TOUCH logo. He caught himself thinking that he was feeling very anxious. With a heavy heart, he clicked on the email, and a short message appeared in front of him.

"Thursday, 7 p.m., Yashio 1-chome"

Only Suguru and Shoko had received the invitation, while Yamada had sent recommendations to the other students for their tracks and overall creativity. Ieiri decided Geto to join her, but as it turned out, Yamada had scheduled different times for Suguru and Shoko - Suguru's meeting was on Thursday, while Shoko's was on Friday.

"That's great! So, you're going to tell me what's going to happen at the meeting?" Shoko sat across from Suguru, contentedly drinking coffee.

"I wish I were the first to know..." The guy smiled and took a sip from his mug of tea.

"Come on, you've met with producers millions of times, but it will be my first time!"

The time until Thursday seemed to drag on, and suddenly, Geto realized that he was even more nervous than he had been before. It had been a long time since he had attended these meetings. When he arrived at the designated location, he took a deep breath and made his way towards the building.

As he rang the doorbell, the wait seemed like an eternity. The door eventually opened, and Y/n stood in front of him. Geto checked the house number and confirmed that it was the right address.

"That’s not a mistake. Come in. Dad is already waiting for you."

"Dad?" Suguru asked in surprise.

"Yamada-san." Y/n smiled and handed him the guest slippers. "Dad! Geto-san has arrived."

He smiled at her formal address. Yoshiki Yamada greeted Geto in a casual outfit, wearing a bathrobe and slippers. After shaking hands, he escorted Geto to his office

"Nice to see you again, Geto-san."

"You can just call me Suguru."

"Well, Suguru, I think your song has a great chance of becoming a big hit. If we work together, it will definitely be number one on all the charts in the country. I want to help you achieve success. The rights to your lyrics and music belong to you, and I will only be promoting your work. Additionally, you will be recording a duet with one of our artists. I’ll send you a list of some of my singers who would match your style. Make an appointment with them, discuss the format of the song, write it, show it to me and we'll make any necessary adjustments before recording at my studio."

Suguru was excited about the idea of recording a track with one of TOUCH's artists and imagined how Shoko would be thrilled.

"In principle, everything sounds great. When can we start recording my song?"

"This weekend, I have already scheduled a recording session for Saturday. Tonight, I will send you a list of potential duet partners via email. Please take some time to review the options and let me know your decision by Friday evening. Based on your response, I will invite one of the artists to our recording session so you can meet them and chat."

Yamada seemed like a man who didn't like wasting time.

Suguru was confused by all the information. "There's a lot of information…" He said, scratching his head.

"Don't worry, everything will be in your email. Now, I suggest we start dinner. Y/n!"

A few seconds later, Y/n appeared in the room's doorway.

"Honey, is dinner ready?"

"Yes, you can come to the table."

Yoshiki stood up and gestured for Suguru to follow her. The young man was still a bit confused, as he had not expected Y/n to be the daughter of Yoshiki Yamada.

At the table, there was a boy of about eight sitting patiently. He looked at the different types of sushi on the plate.

"This is Reiji, my youngest." The man said, sitting down next to his son and patting him on the head. "Reiji, this is Suguru. He'll be recording at my studio."

"Nice to meet you, Suguru-san!" Reiji said seriously.

Suguru responded with a smile, saying, "It's nice to meet you too, Reiji-san." He heard Y/n chuckle at his response.

At dinner, the conversation was relaxed. Yoshiki spoke about the tours his team had been on, and the music his label produced. Suguru felt so comfortable that he began to reminisce about his childhood, when his entire family would gather for dinner in the evenings and share what had happened during the day. Realizing that he was only a guest, after a while, he apologized and said he had to leave.

"Dad, I'll walk Suguru." Y/n said, standing up and nodding to her father.

"Yamada-san, thank you for the meeting and dinner. I appreciate our collaboration. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly between us." Geto shook hands with the producer and headed for the exit.

"That's why Mahito looked so pale when he saw your father." Y/n and Geto went outside.

The sun had already set, and a gentle breeze was playing with Y/n's hair, which fell in disarray around her shoulders.

"I didn't introduce them, but they already knew about each other. Shoko told me that Mahito just needed a contract from my father, not me." Yamada smiled and looked out at the horizon. "Are you in a hurry?" Suguru shook his head.

He had no one waiting for him at home, and spending time with someone was a way for him to escape from loneliness. Y/n came around the corner of the house and they walked down the path leading to the embankment.

"So, you are the daughter of Yoshiki Yamada?" The guy asked. "And Shoko knew. And she didn't even mention it to me..."

"I asked her not to tell anyone."

"Is it a coincidence that your father invited just us?"

"I told my father about Shoko." She said. "She often came to see us, and Dad would hear her. I didn't have much to tell about you, as I only knew you from a party at Shoko's... Though we have a good relationship, and my father listens to me carefully, I try not to mix our personal lives with his work. I understand that Shoko may not be on his radar, but he could give her a chance and introduce her to some people who could help her."

"So, what do you think about me?"

"My father has a good instinct for performers with great potential. You may know some of his artists. I only heard one of your songs, and it was impressive. But to work with "TOUCH", you need to be flexible and able to adapt to the ever-changing trends in the music industry. Today, your song may be popular, but a month from now, people may be listening to Mahito's nonsense."

Suguru listened to the girl seriously, and then he laughed at the last sentence.

"Thank God you said that!" He said. "I don't understand how he manages to study at the university."

"His father finances the university." The girl replied.

"I'm sorry to ask, but how did you meet?" Suguru asked.

The girl explained that they had known each other for a long time, as they had attended the same school. When her mother died, the boy was there for her, and although he had not been perfect, things had changed recently. She explained that Mahito had gotten involved with a questionable company, and she felt like he had been replaced. After recent events, communication was simply not possible.

"And what about the girl you sang about?"

Suguru smiled, and they walked along the shore, enjoying each other's company.

"Well, she had the love of her life, and it wasn't me. When she needed support, I was there for her, which is familiar, isn't it? I honestly thought I was helping her deal with her feelings and move on, but she just suppressed her longing, while I fell in love with her. At some point, he called, and she rushed to him. In the morning, her things were gone from the apartment. I found out he had left her after all, and you have no idea how painful it was for me to refuse to renew our relationship. I realized that in our relationship, I was like a vessel from which water was constantly being drawn, but never returned. It was excruciating."

They walked in silence, each digesting the other's story. The sun had almost set, leaving a thin purple streak in the sky.

"Yes, we both need to see a therapist…" Y/n concluded with a joking tone. "What did help you cope with this?"

Suguru didn't want to admit it, but he knew that sooner or later, Y/n would hear the rumors.

"I thought it would help. Drugs, alcohol. I spent the last year in a clinic."

Yamada didn't seem surprised. She looked down at her feet and kicked a pebble.

"I've been thinking about it too…" She said. "But after mother’s death, Reiji became ill. My father and I went to Europe and spent a lot of time in different clinics. Reiji is better now, and I realized that I needed to be a mother for him at that time. If I started using drugs or drinking alcohol, I can't even imagine what would have happened to my family."

"Are you judging me?"

"No, I'm not. I condemn the girl who brought you to that state. Self-destruction is a way to numb emotional pain, but now you're here with me, walking along the river, recording your song on Saturday and doing a duet with another artist. All of our past actions have led us to this point. Look at it as an experience, even if it takes a year out of your life."

"Wow. You should write motivational books!" Geto laughed and gave the girl a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"You know, it would be great if I followed my own advice."

"Do you still love Mahito?"

"It's a difficult question. Maybe it wasn't love, but affection. He was there for me at the right time. But his recent attitude negates all his good actions. Especially that damn party..."

They walked along the embankment and turned towards Yamada's house.

"I'm glad my father chose you. If everything goes well, then you could become a world-famous artist." Y/n said, her voice sounding slightly distant.

Suguru saw from her face that she was lost in memories of her past and didn't interrupt her. He just nodded at her and walked towards the car. The weather was getting cold, so Y/n pulled her cardigan closer around herself. She smiled at Geto warmly and reached for his embrace.

"Thanks for tonight..." Suguru was a little surprised by the closeness of the girl, but he still put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry, everything will be alright."

Upon arriving home, Suguru checked his email and saw a message from the producer. He glanced over the list of artists and smiled with contentment, choosing Yuki Tsukumo immediately. Her name was well-known, and she was famous for her collaborations with foreign artists. Suguru was even pleased that Yoshiki had offered him work with her.

On Saturday morning, Suguru drove to Yamada's studio, listening to Shoko's account of her meeting with the producer. When she found out that Geto will be recording a duet with Yuki, she was elated. However, Yamada had suggested her other artists, and Shoko had yet to make a decision.

Upon arriving at the studio, Suguru saw Y/n and Mahito. He hurried out of the car and headed towards them. Already from far, he could hear blond guy hysterically shouting and waving his arms. Y/n tried to turn away from him, but Mahito grabbed her arm and refused to let her go.

Suguru looked at Y/n with concern, noticing relief in her eyes at his arrival.

"Are you all right?" He asked.

Mahito noticed Suguru's arrival and noticed his former girlfriend's gaze directed at the dark-haired man. His voice dripped with hatred as he said, "So you did fuck her that night! That's why Yoshiki invited you."

Y/n did not let Suguru answer and abruptly pulled away from Mahito's grip, surprising him with her confidence. She looked at Suguru apologizingly and said, "Mahito, please leave me alone."

Suguru was surprised by her confidence and looked at her with admiration. He then looked at the retreating Y/n and the angry Mahito.

"Just because your father finances the university doesn't mean that I can't punch you in the face." Geto's voice was calm, but his jaw muscles betrayed his anger.

Mahito grunted in displeasure, spat on the floor near Suguru's feet, and walked away from the studio.

At the studio, Suguru was given a pass and escorted to the recording area, where Yuki Tsukumo was already seated and chatting with Yoshiki. The singer seemed relaxed, and when she noticed Geto, she smiled and nodded in greeting. Yamada introduced them, and it was clear that he was excited about the upcoming collaboration.

"Suguru, the studio is all yours today, so make the most of our facilities." The producer playfully winked at Yuki, who watched her future collaborator with interest.

As Suguru sang in the recording booth, he observed Y/n conversing with Yuki through the window. The two seemed to have known each other for some time. At one point, Y/n covered her face with her hands, and Yuki comfortingly patted her shoulder. Y/n then shifted her gaze to Suguru, quickly averting her eyes when she noticed him watching.

Suguru gave the sound engineer a thumbs up as a sign of his readiness. He put on headphones and began recording his vocals. Thanks to his experience, the recording went quite quickly. Sometimes, Yoshiki himself made minor adjustments to the process, but Suguru appreciated these tips.

When the vocals were recorded, Suguru left the room for the producer. Yoshiki looked pleased and said, "You've done a great job! Your vocals are amazing!" He shook Suguru's hand.

"Yamada doesn't praise young performers often. You should appreciate these words!" Yuki approached Suguru with a smile and said, "Well, let's discuss our duet."

Y/n got up from the couch and headed towards the exit, awkwardly waving at Suguru while still avoiding eye contact.

Tsukumo and Geto began discussing the upcoming track. Inside, Suguru was happy about how similar they thought with Yuki. Their phrases complemented each other, which Yamada appreciated. He didn't interfere in their conversation, because he saw Suguru as an accomplished artist despite his young age. Yamada had never seen such seriousness in his adult performers.

"I like your ideas! Where did you find this guy, Yamada?" Yuki asked, leaning back on the sofa and tilting her head in interest.

As a result, Yuki and Suguru agreed to meet at the end of the week. Yuki offered to video call each other during the week to discuss lyrics and music.

Two days after the meeting, Yuki called Suguru unexpectedly and invited him over to her place to write music. An hour later, he was standing outside Tsukumo's small mansion. The singer came out to greet him in casual jeans and a black top, being in a good mood. It was difficult for Suguru to imagine that Yuki had ever been in a bad mood.

She invited Suguru inside. When he entered the living room, he noticed a girl sitting on the couch who immediately turned towards him. Suguru's breath caught slightly at the sight of Y/n, who was wearing a knit sweater with one bare shoulder. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and she looked very comfortable. He also noticed a glass of wine in her hand that she tried to hide, but the bottle on the table revealed the truth about their pastime.

"Are you sure you need me this evening?" Geto asked, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

Y/n got up from the couch and wanted to leave when Yuki stopped her with her hand.

"Stay with us, please." Suddenly, Suguru said.

Tsukumo smiled to herself. She immediately noticed that there seemed to be something between Y/n and Suguru, though it was still in its early stages. Without hesitating, she decided to try to bring the two of them together.

Yuki invited them both into a room with music recording equipment. The room looked like the small studio that Suguru had seen in Yamada's office. Tsukumo gestured for Geto to sit in a chair next to her, and Y/n took a seat on the sofa, holding a glass of wine. As Yuki and Suguru began discussing music with technical terms, Yamada grew bored. She continued drinking the wine until she felt warmth on her cheeks and lightheadedness.

"I think I should go..." She stood up from the sofa and swayed slightly, but Suguru managed gently held her elbow.

"Woah, woah! Girl, I can't let you go alone like this! Suguru, could you take her home?" Tsukumo bit her lip, hoping for Suguru's agreement.

"Of course, no problem." Geto said, taking Y/n's arm and slowly leading her out of the room and then out of the house.

In the car, Y/n sat next to Suguru, not knowing where to look. She glanced in the rearview mirror halfway through the ride. Then, she opened the window and tried to catch the wind.

"Am I pretty?" She suddenly asked.

Geto paused for a moment. "It's subjective," he said.

"Subjectively, am I pretty?"

"Yes. You're pretty." Suguru replied.

Y/n smiled slightly.

"Yuki says I'm pretty too. Even beautiful. But I don't understand why I can't find someone to love me."

Suguru saw her serious expression.

"You're young. You'll find what you're looking for."

"But it feels like I'll always be alone."

"No, I don't believe that. A soulmate is out there for each of us. You just need to wait."

Y/n sighed. "Maybe you're right."

They drove up to Yamada's house, and Suguru looked at the upset Y/n with affection. The girl closed the window and leaned her forehead against the glass.

"Thank you for the ride." She said and hurried out the door.

A month and a half later, the long-awaited release of the duet between Yuki and Suguru took place. Yamada had decided to release the duo first, with the intention of releasing Geto's solo track later. Suguru had no objections to this plan, as he understood that the audience would not be as interested in an unknown artist's song if it were released before the duet with super-star Tsukumo.

Following the release of Geto's solo song, Yoshiki hosted a gala event to celebrate his new artist's success. However, Suguru was unaware of what Yamada had planned for him, so he approached the event in a relaxed state.

Upon arriving at the venue, Suguru was greeted by Y/n, who seemed to have recovered from her difficult breakup with Mahito. The two exchanged pleasantries, and Geto noticed how beautiful Y/n looked in her sea-green dress that reached the floor. Her curled hair fell gracefully over her shoulders, and her natural makeup only enhanced her natural beauty. She was not only pretty, but also stunning.

Yuki was already sitting at the table, talking with Yamada and another man with dark hair tied into two high ponytails that jut upward and outward. Suguru immediately recognized Choso Kamo, the artist for the "TOUCH" label. As their eyes met, Kamo winked at him.

Next to Y/n, on one side, was Reiji. On the other side, there was a blue-eyed man with snow-colored hair. As Y/n sat down, he whispered something to her, and the girl laughed. However, when she noticed Geto's frown, she looked guilty and bit her lower lip.

"I am very pleased to see you all here today! Unfortunately, most of my artists are currently on tour, but I believe a great opportunity has arisen today." Yamada seemed to be in a good mood, which positively affected the mood of his children, Y/n and Reiji. They looked at each other and smiled. "Today, I would like to announce that "TOUCH" is pleased to welcome two talented young artists, Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto!"

Yoshiki gestured towards Suguru and the blond man sitting next to Y/n. Gojo seemed unsurprised, but Geto's reaction was more subdued. Yuki gave him a nod of approval and a thumbs up, while Kamo appeared calm but also expressed his approval.

"Yamada-san, I would like to thank you for this opportunity. It is an honor to work with you." Satoru said, standing up from the table to shake Yamada's hand.

"Geto, did you swallow your tongue?" Tsukumo gently kicked the man under the table, motioning towards Yoshiki.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't expect it..." Geto reached out to Yamada and shook his hand.

"Your track with Tsukumo has been a huge success! Well deserved!" Gojo said, smiling encouragingly at his new colleague.

"Thank you, Satoru." Geto looked at Y/n, who seemed happy.

He didn't know why she was so happy. Was Satoru her new love interest? He tried to stop his train of thought, which had taken on a tinge of jealousy. While the company had dinner, Geto tried to sort out his feelings about Y/n. After their encounter at Tsukumo's, they had seen each other a few times at the studio, exchanged messages, but nothing more. Why was he so concerned about Y/n's interaction with Satoru now?

When dinner was over, Y/n collected the plates and carried them to the kitchen. Suguru excused himself from the table and followed her. She was putting the dishes in the dishwasher and singing softly to herself. As Geto approached her, he heard her singing a song by him and Tsukumo. He smiled at himself and cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Oh, my goodness! You scared me!" Y/n turned to him and leaned against the counter.

"What? Am I that scary?" Geto asked.

Y/n seemed flustered by his question. "No, you're not scary at all. You look great." She said, covering her mouth with her hand.

Geto tried not to show how much her compliment meant to him, but he could feel his heart racing.

"You look beautiful too."

"Yes, Yuki helped me with my makeup and hair. And the dress… it belonged to my mother." Y/n's tone took on a sadness as she remembered her mother.

Suguru and Y/n's eyes locked. Geto approached the girl and took the plate from her hand, placing it in the dishwasher. When he stood up and was at the same height as her, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He quickly cut the distance between them and gently kissed her. To his surprise, Y/n did not push him away but instead, with a sigh of relief, returned the kiss.

Suddenly, Reiji's voice echoed in the distance, making Y/n pull away from Geto. Reiji entered the kitchen, holding Satoru's hand. The boy saw his sister and happily ran up to hug her around the waist. Suguru stepped away from the girl and leaned against the table.

Y/n asked gently, "What happened, Reiji? " She stroked the top of her brother's head, her eyes fixed on Geto. "Satoru-san told me he has a collection of toy cars! Can I come with you next time you visit Satoru?" Reiji said excitedly about the upcoming trip.

"Reiji, there's no need for you to wait for Y/n to visit me. We can simply talk to your father and, if he allows you to come with me..."

Reiji happily clapped his hands and turned his attention to Gojo. "Come on, buddy!" Satoru picked him up and carried him out of the kitchen, winking at Y/n.

"I'm sorry…" Suguru said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

"Don’t. That's what both of us wanted, right?" Yamada turned on the dishwasher and looked at a bit confused Geto. "And Satoru is just a friend from school." She said.

Suguru sighed with relief and approached Y/n, kissing her temple. She smiled and snuggled deeper into his arms, breathing in his scent.

Without hesitation, Suguru invited Y/n to spend the next weekend with him, on a date. This news delighted Shoko, who had no idea what was going on between Suguru and Y/n but was still happy to hear that their two friends were now a couple.

Friday evening, Suguru visited Yamada's studio to finalize the details of their collaboration with the record label. While there, he saw Gojo flirting with a receptionist. When Suguru approached him, Satoru happily slapped his shoulder in greeting.

"Y/n has told me so much about you! I hear you make great music. Maybe we can work together on a duet sometime!" The blond man seemed friendly and welcoming towards Suguru.

Suguru smiled and agreed. He then went to meet with the lawyer, but after a brief thought, returned to Gojo.

"What does Y/n enjoy doing?" Suguru asked.

Satoru smiled mischievously, placed his hand on the shoulder of his friend, and began to talk about Y/n.

That evening, Suguru picked Y/n up from the university and took her to his place. She looked a little tired, but when she saw his car, she smiled and gave him a tight hug. There were some boxes and bags of groceries in the backseat of the car.

"What's in the boxes?" Y/n asked, leaning closer to Suguru and putting her hand on his shoulder. From this gesture, his body was covered in goosebumps, and he tried to restrain himself from purring.

"You'll see." he smiled, starting the car and driving to his house.

Once they arrived at his apartment, Suguru allowed Y/n to unpack the boxes. Inside, she found a portable stove and a large soup pot. She raised an eyebrow in surprise, but Suguru just smiled mysteriously. They went to the kitchen and started unpacking the grocery bags. When she saw the groceries, she covered her mouth in shock.

"How did you know?"

"My sources of information are confidential." He replied with a smile.

While Suguru figured out how to turn on the stove, Y/n smiled to herself as she washed the groceries. Shabu-shabu was her mother's favorite dish, and they cooked it together as a family on holidays.

He watched as Y/n sliced the food with care and sent it to the boiling water. He mentally thanked Satoru for his advice, as seeing Y/n happy warmed his own heart.

"Wow, this is so delicious! I didn't know you could cook." Yamada said as she shoveled a piece of shiitake mushroom into her mouth, closing her eyes in pleasure.

Suguru picked up a piece of meat and handed it on a fork to Y/n, saying, "We have our whole lives ahead of us to learn more about each other."

After dinner, they moved to the living room where Geto had a synthesizer. He invited Y/n to sit down on the sofa across from him, then he kissed her hand like a true gentleman. The girl smiled at his gesture and settled comfortably on the couch.

Suguru began playing a melody that was unfamiliar to Y/n, warming up for his performance. After a few chords, he started singing one of his own songs. Yamada had grown up in a family with a music producer. When her father started his career, there were young performers gathering at their house to compose music. From childhood, Y/n was fascinated by live singing, and it brought her great joy. She remembered how she had thrown a tantrum because she couldn’t sing. Her mother replied that it was not necessary for Y/n to become a singer to find happiness.

"Suguru, you..."

After a few songs, Y/n jumped off the couch and approached Suguru. Geto moved away from the keyboard and let the girl sit on his lap. She placed her hands on Suguru's cheeks and leaned in closer to his face. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. The sound of their lips meeting could be heard throughout the room, occasionally mixed with soft moans. After a long time, their pent-up feelings of physical attraction finally burst out, and they were both on the verge just because of kissing and hugging each other.

Suguru felt the need for air and pulled away from Y/n. His chest was rising and falling heavily from her embrace.

"Wow…" He said as Y/n drew him in for another kiss.

Geto ran his hands under the girl's blouse, causing her to shudder slightly at his touch. His hands traveled down her back and then to her chest, as Suguru moved one hand to lift the edge of her shirt. He pulled it off, causing Y/n to laugh as the shirt ruffled her hair.

Yamada's skin was velvety, driving Suguru wild. His touch was gentle and careful, like he was touching something precious. Geto managed to pull away from Y/n's lips and move to her neck, trailing down to her collarbones. As he lightly bit her collarbone, she let out a soft moan. Y/n's one hand buried in Suguru's hair, pulling back slightly and revealing his neck. It was now her turn to mark him.

When Y/n moved away slightly, her back touched the cold keys of the synthesizer. Her skin covered in goosebumps made Suguru chuckle. He was impatient to be inside Y/n and, holding her back with one hand, tried to pull off his jeans with the other. However, he couldn't succeed, so Yamada helped him. Finally, his cock was free.

Suguru lifted Y/n's skirt and guided her onto his dick. Two moans of pleasure filled the room as they adjusted to each other. Geto began to stroke her back to help her feel more comfortable. When she was ready, Y/n started moving up and down, gradually increasing her pace.

Suguru had slept with many girls, but this time, his feelings for Yamada were stronger than physical attraction. He felt like there were only the two of them in the world. He pressed his face against her chest, breathing in her intoxicating scent.

When Suguru's cock kissed Y/n's cervix, she dug her nails into his back but immediately moved her hands to his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She said guiltily.

"It's okay, baby. You're beautiful and I would only be glad if you left your marks on me." Suguru smiled, noticing that Y/n had regained some confidence.

When he felt his cock begin to pulse inside her, Y/n's movements slowed down. The sound of their skin slapping filled the room and drove them both crazy.

"May I?" Suguru asked, feeling his release close.

"Yes, don't worry."

He allowed himself to finish inside her and felt his warm cum flowing down his cock. Y/n clung to Suguru's chest, trying to catch her breath. Suguru gently wiped away the sweat from her forehead.

"Let's take a shower together, I'll take care of you." Suguru said, getting up from his chair with Y/n in his hands.

Y/n screamed and wrapped her legs around him.

"Don't worry, I've got you!" Geto laughed, hugging her tightly.

The next morning, Suguru woke up to the sound of music in the kitchen. He smiled and stretched under the covers, but then decided to get up. When he entered the kitchen, he saw Y/n standing at the stove, looking at the frying pan thoughtfully. Suguru approached her and wrapped his arms around her, causing her to flinch in surprise.

"Am I that scary?" Suguru asked, smiling.

"I’ve already told you. My answer remains the same." She replied, kissing him on the cheek.

At breakfast, they looked at each other in silence, smiling at the memory of the previous night. Y/n felt great, knowing that Suguru made her feel comfortable.

"What?" Geto asked, when Yamada smiled and tried to avoid looking at him. "Why do you keep hiding your eyes from me? They’re so beautiful…"

"Because you make me feel embarrassed!"

"I’m just sitting here, drinking tea. How can I make you feel embarrassed?" Suguru laughed, taking another sip from his cup.

"It’s not now, it’s in general…" Y/n drew a circle in the air, referring to their night together.

Geto reached out to the girl’s face, removing the sandwich sauce from her lips and licking his finger. Yamada covered her face in embarrassment, shaking her head. Suguru stood up, walked over to her, and easily picked her up, carrying her to the bedroom.

"I'll kiss you every time you feel embarrassed."

"Then you'll have calluses all over your lips! And I still need them!"

"Wow, Yamada, that's so filthy! "Suguru sat Y/n on the bed and looked at her. Her eyes were shining with joy.

"But I have a good example!" Y/n said, pulling Suguru in for a passionate kiss.

After a difficult year and dealing with drug issues, Geto found himself feeling great around Y/n. He recalled how they first met, remembering her indifference towards him and the way she looked at him while he sang with Shoko. Perhaps already then something had already sparked between them, but neither could have known what kind of spark it was. However, now, as he held her hips in his hands, Suguru felt his feelings for the girl growing by the second. Looking into her eyes, he realized that those feelings were mutual.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x fem!reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #suguru geto #suguru #geto #jjk suguru geto #jujutsu kaisen suguru geto #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x y/n #suguru x y/n

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drdonogood · 3 days ago

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Yes hello I'm hear to listen to your yaps about J&H plz

OMG, HELL YAAAHHHH ok swag. So. Drawing randomly from a hat, some various ideas of mine- My AU/ideas are mish-mashed from some of my favorite Jekyll and Hyde adaptations. And some of my own ideas stitched in. (I'm also putting it out there that this AU has no name yet, and I would love suggestions from anyone) also of there are any typos i'm sorry. This is half word vomit and there are only so many times I can re-read it.

> Other monsters and gothlit bullshit probably exsist in my universe. I just haven't thought enough about it.

> Jekyll is right-handed, Hyde is left-handed. They both have a mole in the same spot under their left eye (his left your right). Hyde's veins look green through his skin- Aaand Hyde vaugly looks like a more feral, compact, and fucked up version of younger Jekyll. These are the absolute basis/my fav JnH ideas I've seen around.

> In that recent Hyde Shitpost, you may notice that he is covered in blood. This is because the pressure of condensing into a smaller body shoots blood out of his face. (There's a lot less blood when turning into Jekyll. A super bad nose bleed- At worse some ear bleeding?) It's kinda like the fun glowing mysterious green goo you see in a lot of adaptations. And I almost went with the green goo too. But decided on blood with freind input 😭 This also means that they have low iron and Jekyll is prone to fainting. (Jekyll has always been a bit of a stress fainter though...Hyde is a bit too energized to faint easily but he might)

> I think I've mentioned it here a little- But my Hyde has a tendency to....eat things that are inedible. Raw fish and rocks and paper and dirt and wood. His stomach acid is strong enough to digest small rocks (because this freak's biology is FUCKED)- anything heftier would be a problem. But it still makes Jekyll... a little ill in the morning. I had the thought that maybe this was because Jekyll had suppressed Pica and it presented itself hevily in Hyde? But I haven't developed that idea too much.

> Hyde has thicker, denser bones. Which helps with his "Amateur Parkour Hobby" (aka: His compulsion to jump and climb on everything like a little freak) He also has beans little callous spots on his hands that help him grip things better! .....beans. sorry.

> Hyde's eyes look like they are void black- but if you shine a light on them, they are iridescent green! Bright lights also seem to bother him quite a lot, and he doesn't like being out on sunny days.

> Jekyll's body was slightly changed/modified after drinking HJ-7, so he has a few toned down physical aspects of Hyde's. Like sharp canines and sharp nails (that he frantically cuts down every time he wakes up) and fucked up eyes and even some of the weird biology stuff (Like the digestive thing, faster heart rate, lower body temperature, slight aversion to light ect. Just not AS much as Hyde has it)

> Jekyll and Hyde don't technically age. Their bodies turn back to the day they took the potion. If one of them was stuck being physical for an extended period of time- they WOULD start to age. But it would be reverted the second they transformed. BUT physical injuries only get slightly healed. So they can't just ITV heal injuries by transforming. It helps! But not entirely.

> Hyde HAS to be let out. It causes major problems if he isn't. He gets VERY stir crazy and it effects the both of them negatively. Physically and mentally. It would eventually trigger an involuntary transformation. And Hyde would be a bit fucked up. Likewise, Hyde uses up too much energy just by existing to stay out for days on end. He has to get back in eventually or else. Yk. Involuntary transformation.

> Also Hyde is biologically both sexes. Something something representing the aforementioned Jekyll closeted Tfem stuff that probably won't ever be addressed. He wouldn't care what pronouns you called them but. Obv victorian era everyone uses He when they see him 🤷🏻‍♂️.

> Depending on how long he gets to live (no set plot so him Jekilling himself could or could not happen) Hyde does infact develop a consciousness. Or...His consciousness develops....Or something. Idk how to describe it in such few words. He's definitely starts off distinct and split enough. But Hyde doesn't think about the nature of his existence or Jekyll all that much. He's clearly far too caught up in the joy and rush on being alive and experiencing things. If he exists for long enough, he will eventually have a pretty bad existential crisis. Bro realises that he thinks, therefore, he is. He'll get better, though. And probably be better off.

> Jekyll and Hyde don't find out until way later that they can see each other and communicate and all that regular fanon stuff. (And even still it takes a long and stubborn while for Jekyll to realise just how conscious Hyde is). They CAN make each other KINDA feel a weird sort of Phantom touch. They can see eachothers apparitions. And maybe the non-physical one can see things in a room even when the physical one isn't looking at it. But that's the extent of their interaction with the real world if they aren't physical.

> I'm not a big fan of Hyde being a serial killer type malicious evil guy? He dosen't represent evil obv. Im much more into that TGS style Hyde characterization. But then again, I don't have a set plot, and the idea is fun sometimes. Like he still has the capacity for murrder.... Maybe as a side AU for my AU. I think reasonably he wouldn't be- and at most kills Carew randomly during an emotional outburst. I do think that Hyde likes to start bar fights and beat the shit out of people, though. He loves the rush of being punched but isn't very happy on the very off chance that he doesn't win. Maybe he isn't evil, but that guy is a freakish asshole. And a bit of a man whore.

> This is my friend @ilovebeesandallthat 's fault. But Jekyll is one of those old people who go CRAZY for the holidays. Like he tries soooo hard to be normal about Christmas. He is not. Jekyll isn't the type to throw big parties (attend them? Maaaybe. Host dinners for his friends and colleagues? Definitely. But throwing a big party? Eeehhh-) And yet every year, high society gets excited for Jekylls' yearly Christmas party. Unfortunately, Jekyll's insane Christmas spirit has pierced the soul of our poor London's night Incarnate- and dragged him down to the hellish depths of Holly Jolly Christmas insanity. I fear both Jekyll AND Hyde turn into the most disgusting Holliday feinds the second it turns midnight on November 1st....

> Oh yeah, also because I'm an unoriginal TGS AND TMA fan- Hyde will sometimes refer to himself as "London's Night Incarnate." Beacuse, I thought it sounded like just the sort of thing he would think was cool.

> Lanyon and Jekyll's families were very close. They both were born and grew up in Scotland (Scottish Jekyll truthhhh sorry). They moved to England for university, and for the first chunk, it was them against everyone else. But then Jekyll started hanging around this 'Utterson' guy and started speaking in an English accent and started being uber charismatic with everyone- and it very much bothered Lanyon. He still stuck with Jekyll- but this is what started the strain on their relationship. Lanyon did end up being close to Utterson. But now his relationship with Utterson is better than his relationship with Jekyll....

> Despie all that- Sorry folks, Lanyon is the token straight (I HAVE joked abour him being a Henriel fudanshi though lolll. He loves the drama). He has a wife named Lindsey (she's a nurse!), and they love each other very very much (even though Lanyon is a grumpy ass stubborn old fart). They have 2 adult kids who have moved out and live elsewhere but visit as much as they can. They had a Scottish wedding, and Jekyll was the best man (even though Lanyon considered making it Utterson out of spite...he had to keep the family peace). Utterson also got to be there.

> Lucy and Emma exist in this world, too! Beacuse I like them too much to leave them out despite my beef with the musical and my more book based ideas. Emma is a...bit less developed. She's a wee inspired by some stuff I have seen about Hyde and Seek (the MazM spin off that I haven't played yet). She is Jekyll's ex-fiancé. She left because- despite how much she cared about him- his work was clearly too much. And honestly, she was a wee bit scared of it and how...weird he would get about it. She just couldn't take it anymore and knew she deserved better. Even despite not getting married, they act like a divorced couple on the off chance they cross paths. BUUUUt they still care about each other. Just...not in a romantic way anymore. And they kinda have their own lives going on. She has a husband now and some grown kids! She hasn't been in London so...she actually doesn't know what's going on with Jekyll. Maybe she finds out later, ooooo.

> I probably won't delve TOO much into Lucy's character as much as I could rn. I have...a LOT I could say about her. I'll save that for another post since I'm tryyying to not prolong this and also keep it at least a little on the topic of JnH spesifically. I always thought that if I *did* have an adaptation of my AU- she'd be either the main or a frequent POV. She isn't a love interest or a victim of Hyde. In fact her and Hyde are kinda besties??? She's like a middle ground between ITV/TGS Lucy and musical (which I haven't yet watched ITV but have been infodumped about it) She meets Jekyll...somewhere idk- and has an interesting philosophical conversation with him. Which is a cover for her pickpocketing him. He is...well aware that she is doing so- but doesn't say anything about it. Much like in the musical, he gives her his card and tells her to keep in touch if she ever needs anything. Later down the line, she gets approached by a weirdo in a bar who yaps her ear off about the most ridiculous things. She keeps expecting this guy to ask for her services and get this over with- but he never does. And she keeps seeing this guy day after day- until one of his yap sessions goes on so long that he's just following her home and yapping (you can probably take the hint that yes, this is Hyde). And now she's starting to realise this guy isn't threatening- he's just weird. And probably not human....and maybe even a tad bit endearing? Mostly weird, though. And now he Kimmy Gibbler-ing his way around her apartment in the middle of the night. Crawling through her window when he feels like it to hang out and show her gift her all the cool new trinkets he has stolen and raid her fridge and bring her dead things. And she starts to appreciate it beacuse it starts to break up her monotonous and depressing daily cycle. They take care of each other and it's nice (once again- can get more into it in another post)

> Hyde is a disgusting little slime ball who is somehow always covered in filth and grime. Lucy fucking hates this.

>Hyde has an accidental common theme of being a Devil-On-The-Shoulder to more than JUST Jekyll. He tends to bring out the most weird and hidden sides of people- which is....fitting considering what he is. It's something that happend accidently as I was thinking of character interactions- but something that I think is really really fun....

ANYWAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW- MORE LATER.....MAYBE 🫡🫡🫡

#I have a lot more if anyone asks more specific questions!#my miserable jekyll and hyde au #jekyll and hyde #eds asks #eds HCs #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #henry jekyll #edward hyde #hastie lanyon #gabriel john utterson #gabriel utterson #henriel #Hyde and seek #maybe idk #lucy harris #emma carew #im so so so so excited sharing these ideas you have no idea UGUGUGH

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