#i have a job but at what cost?
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Wake up at 5 am. Work starts at 8 am. Work ends at 5 pm. Come home at 8 pm. This is hell omg.
#i have a job but at what cost?#i miss doing nothing but reading and writing omg#i can't even finish my drafts#i haven't written in so long
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you have $100. due to a squid games type escapade, you are currently trapped in Whole Foods and can't leave or someone will take you out with a bullet to the brain. you have to buy all the food you eat. you can't shoplift it or steal it from the other competitors. a carton of 12 organic eggs costs $10.
your friend Greg has $100. due to a competing squid games franchise, he is trapped in a Costco. he can't leave, or they'll set the dogs on him. he still has to buy all the food he eats. he can buy 36 eggs for $7
which one of you will starve first? are you or Greg functionally "wealthier" within your respective squid game?
#some of the people on this website are so fucking stupid it is unbelievable#sorry to be like “you dont pay rent or have a job” but they obviously do not pay rent or have a job#maybe if i say it in television they will be able to understand#“if you live somewhere things cost more#you functionally have less money“ is so basic an idea i dont know how to dumb it down further for you#i really dont#this is like flunking out of basic story problems-level math you fucking morons#if you live in hawaii $10 is functionally $6 at the grocery store#in alaska its about $4#whats not clicking#wow what a great blocklist honeypot this post is!!!
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Todays the day. I need to get a job, even if that jobs not in the gaming industry. So I’m heading to the library to print up a resume and apply at a little local chain of mattress stores.
The guy instantly liked me when I went in to do a secret shop for a competing store and offered to hire me on the spot so I figure if I can chat with him he’ll still like me enough to consider me.
#ramblies#I’m dreading this so much I had dreams about getting hired by dropout tv instead#also my beloved was very sweet and when I said this was hard reassured me that I can do hard things#I wish I could wait for an industry job but it’s just not feasible#because we desperately need to move my beloved out of our current carpeted home#and moving costs are no joke#I’ll also need to get myself a laptop so I can keep honing rigging skills at the mattress job which I’m dreading#I have little to know idea how much I’ll need to invest to get a machine that can run Maya like a champ#which I’ll also need to buy an indie Maya license#god life is stressful and expensive#I long to be a little renaissance artist kept in a garret making what I please on the funds of patrons#alas
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I DON’T CARE IF HE’S A HITMAN I WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR FADEL
#HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS#HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HIS LIFE I KNOW THIS AND I LOVE HIM#what an incredibly fascinating character he is and what an incredible job joong is doing portraying him#also i don't really expect coherency or continuity but. i do wonder how much bison knows of all this#like im not sure if fadel's ex died or just disappeared on him and he's going to the support group for loss for something else#but bison does know he's going there#so it's weird to think that bison would accuse fadel of not having a heart#we'll see#the heart killers
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Y'all are nice about line cook Karlach you can have a bit more since I've got the brainworms.
Good Continuity: She works at a local brew pub after her military stint. She'll eventually take the place over (going on Sam Béart's headcanon she'd like to be running a pub if she wasn't adventuring.)
Bad Continuity: She works at a fancy bistro owned by Zariel where she's obligated to stay in her job to keep up her health insurance to care for her heart condition.
Take your pick! Or something else, I'm absolutely not fussed.
#Art#personal#Sketch#BG3#baulders gate 3#Karlach#Yes the 'bad' one is close to home although I don't mind my job much#but the American healthcare system is a joke#we don't need to discuss what my chemo would have cost out of pocket
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I went to my appointment and found out that I don’t have cancer anymore.
Then I got home to a letter that I don’t have a job to go back to. Fired for “failure to return from leave.”
I need a fucking drink.
#metastatic breast cancer#the final post to that hashtag#bariatric clinic job#that tag’s going away too#time to scramble#insertcaffeine vs alcohol#any Colorado friends have experience with unemployment?#I get a new lease on life but at what cost?
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hi... one of these posts again.
ill give you the short of it, we still owe 380 dollars for rent in december, haven't been able to pay for january, february, or march in full at all.
each months rent comes out to around 1395, so we're behind around 4500 dollars
our landlord has thankfully been very patient but i think hes going to be closing the book on us soon. at this point i dont blame him, but i think he's only being so patient because we've kept up with everything else
every little bit that hasnt gone to food has gone to bills and were still behind
i hate doing this. i fucking hate it. but because were struggling so fucking badly still i really dont have much of a choice. im sorry.
especially considering i made one not even a month ago
pypl / vnmo
0/1000
frankly speaking, this wont pull us out of the chasm we are currently in, but it would probably at least appease our landlord
if you cannot do anything, i understand. PLEASE do not feel like you have to. i just ask that perhaps you give it a reblog if you cant.
#considering how much im be asking for#i just freak out even thinking about asking for that kind of help#on the bright side some job prospects are looking great though#excuse me im going to go throw up now#im also trying to get the county health card again so i can have access to antidepressants again but the card isnt whats going to cost me..
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be real honest. which member of your favorite group whose personality is actually similar to you? are they your bias or not?
#ann.txt#ive been curious about this#esp to atinys but i think people from other fandoms might see and want to share too#in my case my personality is the closest to mingi hongjoong and scoups (with less $$$)#mingi mainly cus of his thinking framework and bluntness constantly talking abt world economy whatsoever 😂#his “cost-benefit” mindset is strong and its shown? but it doesnt make him cold or careless abt his friends#and you know what else is strong in him? his simpness for yunho. boi doesnt have anything bad abt him he has his name in his head 25/8#i think if i have my own “yunho” person i'll have nothing in my head but them too#i think if hes just a clerical worker or avg uni student hed do a good job in business or any job/study thats data driven?#hongjoong and coups. assertive yet open to feedbacks. they treat it as opportunity to improve and reach out wider audiences#while attentive to their members their works the top priority. if they can work then why sleep#be the $$$ daddies 🤑#just in real life yet tricky in games 🤪 but sometimes im also a fool like mingi 🤪🤪🤪#and nope theyre not my bias but its amazing to know you gentlemen 🤝#PLUS THEYRE ALL BIG BABIES MAXIMUM OF 5 YEARS OLD#I AM 5
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#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me#i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job#when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever#im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do#im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far#but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird#all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job#and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration#or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing#which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn#im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor#unrelated
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Like three of my coworkers in the past month have tested positive for covid, every day I see new ppl on my dash mentioning that they’ve caught covid, every day I see and hear from ppl who have come down w something that looks like covid but the test came back negative but also they can only afford to test once bc tests aren’t free anymore and the more accurate tests are also more expensive so there’s no way to know if it was a false negative, and yet nobody masks anymore. hell world hell world
#meg talks#like i feel like im losing my mind. i will admit that ive probably gotten too bold abt going out in public#but at least i never go out without wearing a clean n95#and then i immediately look around and see no one else is wearing one and im like well fuck me i guess.#i refuse to get on an airplane or have anyone come visit me via plane bc fucking every time someone ik gets on a plane#they come back with covid#and i just keep thinking back to the start of the pandemic and the efforts to flatten the curve#and how if we’d just fucking. done it. if the lockdown wasn’t lifted so fast. we could have killed covid#instead we’re going on four years of this. and ppl just act like life is normal again#well it’s not normal for me. catching covid could ruin my body and cost me my job and then what#but nobody cares bc most precautions protect other ppl around us more than they protect ourselves#and nobody gives a shit abt the disabled#nor do they want to think abt the fact that they are one covid infection away from being disabled themselves
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I was just thinking what a cool job this might be.. what if you were just the person who makes little still images of cute animal figurines doing various activities to post on social media...? like.. show up to work and just spend the whole day like "hmm... this table should be placed to the left a little.. let me set this miniature bagel down in this way... this tiny rabbit should be wearing a scarf", setting the backgrounds, the lighting, etc. ... dream job perhaps lol...
#I'm sure it probably doesnt pay much lol#but.. maybe in some ideal world..#with my health and mental conditions and level of functioning there are VERY few Jobs I could actually EVER manage aside from#just being self employed and being able to set my own hours somehow etc... But every once in a while I come across something like this#and it's like... hrmm.... Yes... perhaps if I could align myself in this hyper specific scenario under hyper specific conditions in a#precise and predictable way and everything worked out perfectly and I had all the accomodations I might need.. maybe I could#do THAT thing then .. lol#Not just generally a 'social media manager' or something. I think that would drive me into the throes of madness#but SPECIFICALLY 'person who makes the images for the calico critters social media' and also#the place i have to go to do that is either my home or within walking distance of my home and also i rarely have to interact#with others aside from the posts probably going through some approval process and initial ideas where they tell me what#type of scene to make and also i somehow make $90.000 a year doing this for only 4 days a week with frequent sick breaks#dreamy sigh and so on and so forth and such and so on#ANYWAY........#the idea of meticulously placing little pastries and miniature crayons and stuff around all day until the scene is perfectly crafted.. SO#SO so appealing to me... like designing environments in the sims except it's real and tangible.. And also imagine having access#to the FULL library of miniature items. to me that would be just as good as owning them#Like.. I get to use them and make little scenes with them and hold them and stare at them and everything except also#they're all kept at work so I don't have boxes of clutter filling home.#unlimited access to every little miniature food ever crafted yet none of the downsides (purchase cost and storage)#etc. etc. ANYWAY ...#Chuckling confidently as I add this onto the 'List Of ''Real'' Jobs I Could Do' which is just a notebook sheet of paper with only like 5#other similarly unlikely hyperspecific scenarios scribbled down
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i'm making some moves toward finally learning the cello btw!!!!
#yesterday i talked about it with my teacher & my friend who's also learning cello#i'd have to rent a cello from another place but it's literally gonna cost less than i was paying to rent my violin#i just need to inquire about how much taking the 1-on-1 classes is gonna cost lol#i thiiink i know how much it costs and i think it's about what i'm saving in health insurance costs at my new job lmao#m.txt
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oh my god last night my friend drunkenly confessed to me that she had been feeling very lonely these past few months and i told her i'd been feeling the exact same and we were both kind of shocked bc we both felt like the other person was doing amazing (which also kept both of us from reaching out, bc the other person seemed busy and intimidatingly happy) and it was this really weird moment which felt like smth from a play or something. like real life dramatic irony. and the craziest part is that she literally lives a two minute walk away from me too so we were literally having our simultaneous lonely breakdowns across the street from each other. so i guess what im trying to say is check on your friends and dont believe social media
#personal#really weird thing to find out but im glad we talked ab it. we're going to hang out more now<3#also when i told her i'd been miserable she immediately mentioned that she saw on my social media that id been partying#and i immediately knew which post she meant bc it was this august photo dump thing i posted which did have a lot of pics from this 1 party#but i specifically remember struggling to find enough pictures for that post bc i'd spent most of the month miserable at my parents' place#it was so ironic. the thing that for me really confirmed my loneliness on a personal level was what convinced her not to reach out#guess it did do its job of fooling everyone that i was doing great lmfao but At What Cost!
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oh sorry, did i not lick your boots enough when i wrote that image description for you? my bad
people's accessibility discord, for your ID needs
#chirping#yes i have a toxic relationship w ids. no i'm not changing#i don't really. i'm more just so petty against the people who ignore them#but this is how it feels sometimes genuinely#i gotta write a paragraph in the tags wow this is so perfect ur a god amongst men now please do a lowly thing like me a favor and#hit two buttons on your phone slash computer.... i know it's so much effort so i included some handy instructions for how to hit two fucking#buttons on your phone slash computer#it's just so fucking annoying#like look i did this thing for you at no benefit and at every cost to myself that by all accounts You were supposed to do. but yeah if you#want to ignore me then please be my fucking guest. and i'm not allowed to get mad about that at all?!#''i don't have the energy'' ME NEITHER. BUT GUESS WHAT I'M FUCKING DOING#i've given the people's accessibility discord link so many times#actually let's add that to this post hold on#done. whatever#i'll add it to my pinned as well#i've also said this a million times but if you describe ur own art Tag Me In It!!!#i want to see it! i wanna reblog it!!!!!#god whatever. i have errands to run. contrary to popular belief i have a life outside of profusely giving and giving to a thankless job
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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this has me fucked up in a brand new sort of way
#has me feeling like i always lose even when i win#billy depth and backstory and emotions but at what cost !#‘you have never been of use to anyone’ get a job ! stay away from her !#billy hargrove
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