#i have a job but at what cost?
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Wake up at 5 am. Work starts at 8 am. Work ends at 5 pm. Come home at 8 pm. This is hell omg.
#i have a job but at what cost?#i miss doing nothing but reading and writing omg#i can't even finish my drafts#i haven't written in so long
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women in stem hour lesson of the day rather than fumbling around trying to justify a line of thinking just tell ur male coworker he’s being condescending and to get to the point faster next time
#like girl sometimes men do just the WORST job of explaining their thinking#and so u end up having to explain YOURS#no!! make them explain that shit and if theyre doing a piss poor job DOUBLE DOWN#can u just answer the question#why do we need it this way what is THIS solving that my solution does not#i genuinely say this from the perspective of efficiency#u hsve work already done if someone is trying to poke holes in it or call it inadequate THEYRE the ones that need to justify and explain#not you bruh#otherwise its just costing everyone time for u to redo something that was either fine or 95% of the way there
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you have $100. due to a squid games type escapade, you are currently trapped in Whole Foods and can't leave or someone will take you out with a bullet to the brain. you have to buy all the food you eat. you can't shoplift it or steal it from the other competitors. a carton of 12 organic eggs costs $10.
your friend Greg has $100. due to a competing squid games franchise, he is trapped in a Costco. he can't leave, or they'll set the dogs on him. he still has to buy all the food he eats. he can buy 36 eggs for $7
which one of you will starve first? are you or Greg functionally "wealthier" within your respective squid game?
#some of the people on this website are so fucking stupid it is unbelievable#sorry to be like “you dont pay rent or have a job” but they obviously do not pay rent or have a job#maybe if i say it in television they will be able to understand#“if you live somewhere things cost more#you functionally have less money“ is so basic an idea i dont know how to dumb it down further for you#i really dont#this is like flunking out of basic story problems-level math you fucking morons#if you live in hawaii $10 is functionally $6 at the grocery store#in alaska its about $4#whats not clicking#wow what a great blocklist honeypot this post is!!!
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Todays the day. I need to get a job, even if that jobs not in the gaming industry. So I’m heading to the library to print up a resume and apply at a little local chain of mattress stores.
The guy instantly liked me when I went in to do a secret shop for a competing store and offered to hire me on the spot so I figure if I can chat with him he’ll still like me enough to consider me.
#ramblies#I’m dreading this so much I had dreams about getting hired by dropout tv instead#also my beloved was very sweet and when I said this was hard reassured me that I can do hard things#I wish I could wait for an industry job but it’s just not feasible#because we desperately need to move my beloved out of our current carpeted home#and moving costs are no joke#I’ll also need to get myself a laptop so I can keep honing rigging skills at the mattress job which I’m dreading#I have little to know idea how much I’ll need to invest to get a machine that can run Maya like a champ#which I’ll also need to buy an indie Maya license#god life is stressful and expensive#I long to be a little renaissance artist kept in a garret making what I please on the funds of patrons#alas
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I DON’T CARE IF HE’S A HITMAN I WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR FADEL
#HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS#HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HIS LIFE I KNOW THIS AND I LOVE HIM#what an incredibly fascinating character he is and what an incredible job joong is doing portraying him#also i don't really expect coherency or continuity but. i do wonder how much bison knows of all this#like im not sure if fadel's ex died or just disappeared on him and he's going to the support group for loss for something else#but bison does know he's going there#so it's weird to think that bison would accuse fadel of not having a heart#we'll see#the heart killers
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Y'all are nice about line cook Karlach you can have a bit more since I've got the brainworms.
Good Continuity: She works at a local brew pub after her military stint. She'll eventually take the place over (going on Sam Béart's headcanon she'd like to be running a pub if she wasn't adventuring.)
Bad Continuity: She works at a fancy bistro owned by Zariel where she's obligated to stay in her job to keep up her health insurance to care for her heart condition.
Take your pick! Or something else, I'm absolutely not fussed.
#Art#personal#Sketch#BG3#baulders gate 3#Karlach#Yes the 'bad' one is close to home although I don't mind my job much#but the American healthcare system is a joke#we don't need to discuss what my chemo would have cost out of pocket
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need million dollars. for what? rabbit.
#rabbit#bunny#she deserves the world#and it KILLS ME#KILLS ME#THAT I CANNOT GIVE HER EVEN HALF OF THAT#i do what I can but its not enough in my eyes#I want her to have her own room with everything she’d ever need#but UNFORTUNATELY#that costs MONEY#and I’m just a teenage academic with no job#how am i supposed to live like this#genuinely#im gonna become rich just for her and any other rabbits i have in the future
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I went to my appointment and found out that I don’t have cancer anymore.
Then I got home to a letter that I don’t have a job to go back to. Fired for “failure to return from leave.”
I need a fucking drink.
#metastatic breast cancer#the final post to that hashtag#bariatric clinic job#that tag’s going away too#time to scramble#insertcaffeine vs alcohol#any Colorado friends have experience with unemployment?#I get a new lease on life but at what cost?
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hi... one of these posts again.
ill give you the short of it, we still owe 380 dollars for rent in december, haven't been able to pay for january, february, or march in full at all.
each months rent comes out to around 1395, so we're behind around 4500 dollars
our landlord has thankfully been very patient but i think hes going to be closing the book on us soon. at this point i dont blame him, but i think he's only being so patient because we've kept up with everything else
every little bit that hasnt gone to food has gone to bills and were still behind
i hate doing this. i fucking hate it. but because were struggling so fucking badly still i really dont have much of a choice. im sorry.
especially considering i made one not even a month ago
pypl / vnmo
0/1000
frankly speaking, this wont pull us out of the chasm we are currently in, but it would probably at least appease our landlord
if you cannot do anything, i understand. PLEASE do not feel like you have to. i just ask that perhaps you give it a reblog if you cant.
#considering how much im be asking for#i just freak out even thinking about asking for that kind of help#on the bright side some job prospects are looking great though#excuse me im going to go throw up now#im also trying to get the county health card again so i can have access to antidepressants again but the card isnt whats going to cost me..
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be real honest. which member of your favorite group whose personality is actually similar to you? are they your bias or not?
#ann.txt#ive been curious about this#esp to atinys but i think people from other fandoms might see and want to share too#in my case my personality is the closest to mingi hongjoong and scoups (with less $$$)#mingi mainly cus of his thinking framework and bluntness constantly talking abt world economy whatsoever 😂#his “cost-benefit” mindset is strong and its shown? but it doesnt make him cold or careless abt his friends#and you know what else is strong in him? his simpness for yunho. boi doesnt have anything bad abt him he has his name in his head 25/8#i think if i have my own “yunho” person i'll have nothing in my head but them too#i think if hes just a clerical worker or avg uni student hed do a good job in business or any job/study thats data driven?#hongjoong and coups. assertive yet open to feedbacks. they treat it as opportunity to improve and reach out wider audiences#while attentive to their members their works the top priority. if they can work then why sleep#be the $$$ daddies 🤑#just in real life yet tricky in games 🤪 but sometimes im also a fool like mingi 🤪🤪🤪#and nope theyre not my bias but its amazing to know you gentlemen 🤝#PLUS THEYRE ALL BIG BABIES MAXIMUM OF 5 YEARS OLD#I AM 5
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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before
#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up#sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation#even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been#some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss#but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time#over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either#i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after#i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at#it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same#silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time#it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen#of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately#this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country#again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want#things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao#i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot#everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me#and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d#anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that#to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm#recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca#also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before#anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun#and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have#i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired#and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that#i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip#whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn#(<- guy who should be in therapy)
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#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me#i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job#when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever#im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do#im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far#but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird#all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job#and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration#or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing#which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn#im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor#unrelated
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Like three of my coworkers in the past month have tested positive for covid, every day I see new ppl on my dash mentioning that they’ve caught covid, every day I see and hear from ppl who have come down w something that looks like covid but the test came back negative but also they can only afford to test once bc tests aren’t free anymore and the more accurate tests are also more expensive so there’s no way to know if it was a false negative, and yet nobody masks anymore. hell world hell world
#meg talks#like i feel like im losing my mind. i will admit that ive probably gotten too bold abt going out in public#but at least i never go out without wearing a clean n95#and then i immediately look around and see no one else is wearing one and im like well fuck me i guess.#i refuse to get on an airplane or have anyone come visit me via plane bc fucking every time someone ik gets on a plane#they come back with covid#and i just keep thinking back to the start of the pandemic and the efforts to flatten the curve#and how if we’d just fucking. done it. if the lockdown wasn’t lifted so fast. we could have killed covid#instead we’re going on four years of this. and ppl just act like life is normal again#well it’s not normal for me. catching covid could ruin my body and cost me my job and then what#but nobody cares bc most precautions protect other ppl around us more than they protect ourselves#and nobody gives a shit abt the disabled#nor do they want to think abt the fact that they are one covid infection away from being disabled themselves
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I was just thinking what a cool job this might be.. what if you were just the person who makes little still images of cute animal figurines doing various activities to post on social media...? like.. show up to work and just spend the whole day like "hmm... this table should be placed to the left a little.. let me set this miniature bagel down in this way... this tiny rabbit should be wearing a scarf", setting the backgrounds, the lighting, etc. ... dream job perhaps lol...
#I'm sure it probably doesnt pay much lol#but.. maybe in some ideal world..#with my health and mental conditions and level of functioning there are VERY few Jobs I could actually EVER manage aside from#just being self employed and being able to set my own hours somehow etc... But every once in a while I come across something like this#and it's like... hrmm.... Yes... perhaps if I could align myself in this hyper specific scenario under hyper specific conditions in a#precise and predictable way and everything worked out perfectly and I had all the accomodations I might need.. maybe I could#do THAT thing then .. lol#Not just generally a 'social media manager' or something. I think that would drive me into the throes of madness#but SPECIFICALLY 'person who makes the images for the calico critters social media' and also#the place i have to go to do that is either my home or within walking distance of my home and also i rarely have to interact#with others aside from the posts probably going through some approval process and initial ideas where they tell me what#type of scene to make and also i somehow make $90.000 a year doing this for only 4 days a week with frequent sick breaks#dreamy sigh and so on and so forth and such and so on#ANYWAY........#the idea of meticulously placing little pastries and miniature crayons and stuff around all day until the scene is perfectly crafted.. SO#SO so appealing to me... like designing environments in the sims except it's real and tangible.. And also imagine having access#to the FULL library of miniature items. to me that would be just as good as owning them#Like.. I get to use them and make little scenes with them and hold them and stare at them and everything except also#they're all kept at work so I don't have boxes of clutter filling home.#unlimited access to every little miniature food ever crafted yet none of the downsides (purchase cost and storage)#etc. etc. ANYWAY ...#Chuckling confidently as I add this onto the 'List Of ''Real'' Jobs I Could Do' which is just a notebook sheet of paper with only like 5#other similarly unlikely hyperspecific scenarios scribbled down
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i'm making some moves toward finally learning the cello btw!!!!
#yesterday i talked about it with my teacher & my friend who's also learning cello#i'd have to rent a cello from another place but it's literally gonna cost less than i was paying to rent my violin#i just need to inquire about how much taking the 1-on-1 classes is gonna cost lol#i thiiink i know how much it costs and i think it's about what i'm saving in health insurance costs at my new job lmao#m.txt
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oh my god last night my friend drunkenly confessed to me that she had been feeling very lonely these past few months and i told her i'd been feeling the exact same and we were both kind of shocked bc we both felt like the other person was doing amazing (which also kept both of us from reaching out, bc the other person seemed busy and intimidatingly happy) and it was this really weird moment which felt like smth from a play or something. like real life dramatic irony. and the craziest part is that she literally lives a two minute walk away from me too so we were literally having our simultaneous lonely breakdowns across the street from each other. so i guess what im trying to say is check on your friends and dont believe social media
#personal#really weird thing to find out but im glad we talked ab it. we're going to hang out more now<3#also when i told her i'd been miserable she immediately mentioned that she saw on my social media that id been partying#and i immediately knew which post she meant bc it was this august photo dump thing i posted which did have a lot of pics from this 1 party#but i specifically remember struggling to find enough pictures for that post bc i'd spent most of the month miserable at my parents' place#it was so ironic. the thing that for me really confirmed my loneliness on a personal level was what convinced her not to reach out#guess it did do its job of fooling everyone that i was doing great lmfao but At What Cost!
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