#i have a fucking ba in english

[hiimawarish]

Also, after today's episode we're bound to have the godforsaken argument again about whether or not hating Mahito is justified, and I'm gonna give my two cents because I think people forget about this most of the time.

Yes, Mahito is an amazing villain. Yes, his sole purpose is to be disgusting and murdering people, killing Nanami, and everything else he ever did is because of his role as a villain. Yes, you cannot expect a villain to have compassion or make an exception for your favorites.

However, you are also allowed to fucking hate villains because, guess what?, that's also their fucking purpose. People hating a character, even more when it's a villain, doesn't mean that the character is poorly built or that the character in general is just plain bad. As a villain, it just means that he actually played his role well.

So yeah. You don't hate Mahito? Good for you, but let's not berate people who do because it makes no sense.

[ms-demeanor]

begging my brain to let me finish this last fucking final so i can have a full ten days to chill before summer term starts

[strawberryrhubarbs]

not barnes and noble rejecting me a 3rd time for an entry level position 😭😭

[reki-of-the-valley]

That moment when you open Facebook for the first time in over a year because you couldn't remember when your sister got married and are hit in the face with the fact that most of your department has graduated and have their degree

[sachermorte]

so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy

[smutallyouwant]

BINI VERSZE chpt. 1

It's this time of the year

Aiah Arceta x M! Reader

Word Count: 1.8 k words

The dialogue that I will be using in this smut will be Tagalog, but the narration would still be in English. I specifically made this smut for Pinoy fans and I think it's better to use Tagalog for its dialogue. Anyways, enjoy!

Christmas eve passed like nothing and new year's eve is fast approaching. It was fun while it lasted but it's this time of the year where you're always having a blast before the year ends.

You're walking in the nearby park from your town in Lapu-lapu Cebu where you're expecting to meet a familiar face.

Not a minute has passed and you can already see the familiar and calming face of a girl, now a woman approaching while you're sat down on a bench.

" Oyy kumusta!? " You shouted in order to get her attention.

" Uyyy!?? Kumusta hahaha, gagi ano ginagawa mo dito? " She asked.

" Wala naman nag papa hangin lang ako, sarap kasi ng hangin ngayun dahil sa pasko "

You said, knowing that you're waiting here expecting to meet her because you heard that she came here in your province last night after spending Christmas in Manila where she now works in a Girl group.

" Kelan ka umuwi? Akala ko dito ka mag papasko hahahaha " you added.

" Oo dito sana ako mag papasko, kaso nasa Manila rin sila mama so we decided na sa New Year nalang kami umuwi dito mag kakasama " she said with that beautiful and innocent smile.

" Ahhh sigee gagi, miss ka na nila mama kaya pumunta ka samin mamaya ha if hindi ka pagod or busy "

" Sigee Y/N pupunta ako, gusto ko rin makita sila tita and I missed youu! Hahahaha " she teased you with laughter.

" Hahahahha I miss you too! " Both of you laughed.

" Sigee ingat ka, pauwi na rin ako " you then pleaded goodbye to her.

" Okay, ingat ka rin, hintayin mo ' ko dun mamaya " she said with a smile before jogging away from you.

Her calming voice and bare face also her hot figure made you so turned on that when you took a bath after going home, you've been fapping while thinking of doing her.

You can't believe how she grew up from what you have known about her, it's only been 1 year that you can only look at her in photos but she's been looking prettier and prettier each time you see her in person.

After taking a bath, you went to your room to play some games on your computer.

After a few hours, you can hear laughter from outside through your headphones. You removed them so you can hear it properly.

" Opo tita hehe na miss ko po kayoo! "

" Andyan po ba si Y/N? "

" Oo nak, maupo ka muna dyan at tatawagin ko "

As you heard your mother say that, you quickly took a peek outside and you saw Aiah sitting on your sofa.

Tangina sana hindi pa siya nag babago

You said inside your head.

" Huy hanap ka ni Aiah " your mom whispered.

" Sige ma papuntahin mo dito, nag lalaro kasi ako eh " you said.

After that, you quickly quit your game and waited for Aiah to come into your room.

*door opened

" Hii hehe " Aiah whispered.

" Ughh, fuck ~mhhh tangina sarap " Aiah moaned while leaning towards your desk.

Not a minute has passed and she's already taking back shots from you in front of your mirror desk, no bottom, only her white top and glasses.

" Akala ko nagbago ka na eh, sino mag aakala na ang mama marry nila ay ganto ka horny? Hahaha "

" eh lagi mo naman akong iniiyot tuwing andito ako ah? Hinintay mo pa talaga ako kanina sa park? " she said while looking at you seductively.

She pulled you for a kiss, her familiar lips and sweet tongue tastes like paradise. Her innocent and beautiful face turning into this horny face she makes as you make love with her— the seductive graze of her nails into your scalp and hair made you pummel her harder as she releases breath and gently moans every thrust.

" ~~mhhh, ~mhhh, ugh, tangina, ~mhh" her breathy moans every pound you make made you so turned on that you're reaching your climax already.

" Ahh! Nnghh ! " She gritted her teeth.

" Tangina mo, sige pa, mhhh malapit na ako "

Her breathy moans turned into more fluent loud cursing, her hand that's pulling your hair was now on the desk, both her hands gripped into the corner of the desk as you give her back shots, she leaned over the mirror more and bent her waist and pull her ass up.

You palmed both her ass cheeks, Aiah's eyes rolled up with her mouth open, you can feel her inside twitching and releasing fluids while she can't control her body and began twitching too, the overwhelming pleasure made her unable to moan but to actively open her mouth while you bang her as she climaxed.

She finally came into her senses that she is able to finally breath after you said that you're cumming too.

" Whoo, haaah! tangina grabe " she said.

" Aiah lalabasan na ako, pwede ba sa loob? "

" Huwag! Putok mo nalang sa bibig ko "

Aiah then removed her glasses and knelt down to swallow your dick. Your shaft effortlessly slides down her throat as you held her hair from both sides while she matches the pace of your movements with her head game giving you the best fellatio of your life.

" tangina ang galing mo na chumupa Aiah, ilan na kayang tite nasipsip mo sa Manila? "

She's looking at you the whole time and it made you cum in her mouth faster.

" Lalabasan na ako " you whispered.

Aiah fastened up the pace before you burrowed your dick into her throat filling it up with your semen.

Her nail dug into your thighs as she held them. Her eyes rolled up as she takes your load, her tongue still works licking your shaft inside. Drools came out of her mouth but no cum to be seen, she swallowed it all and she didn't even choke once. She looked at you with that innocent but somewhat seductive smile as she swept the drool on her face.

" Bakit ang tigas pa nyan? Hahahaha " she asked with a smile.

" Tangina sarap mo kasi tingnan eh "

You said before pulling her on the bed.

You went to your computer to have music on your speaker, you played " Cherry on top " by. BINI.

" Oyy Bloom? Hahahha " Aiah teased.

" Oo pero gusto ko, Aiah on top "

Aiah sat on you and removed her top, she led your face in her tits for you to suckle on it.

" Mhhh, sige dedein mo sila "

You suckled on her boobs as she aligned her pussy into your pulsing cock, she grinded on it. Her head bent over the back while you sucked into her nipples hard making her squeal .

" ~~mhhh, shit, shit, shit , tanginaaaa~~~ "

She cursed as she fastened the pace of her grinding. She pulled you for a deep kiss as she leaned over to do that up-and-down motion with her ass bouncing on your dick, you palmed both her ass cheeks in response.

" I'm the cherry on top, cherry on top " music plays in the background.

" Gusto ko Y/N on top naman " she teased you with a seductive stare.

You wasted no time and quickly fucked her missionary style. Her hands are wrapped up in your neck as you give your all into pummeling your dick into her pussy.

" Gusto mo ba ako putukan sa loob? " She said with an innocent face.

You responded with a nod and a kiss.

" Pwede naman, gusto mo ba itry anal? Hehe " she added.

" Tangina ang libog mo Aiah Arceta " you said with a smirk before turning her over.

She asked you to get her purse where she brought a lube. But you quickly spread her ass cheeks and licked her booty hole.

" Hoy gago! Ughhhh tangina " she moaned.

" Hindi na kailangan nun " you said.

You licked her hole before putting in one finger. Aiah moaned in pain and pleasure.

" Ohhhhh~~ tangina gagi, masakit pero sobrang sarap " she exclaimed.

You felt her ass twitching before you inserted another finger making it two, Aiah responded with moans that you took as a green light to try inserting your thick cock into her ass. Her pussy juice and saliva is enough as a lubricant for you to insert your dick head but she protests with pain as you try to insert more of your shaft.

" Hoy tangina masakit, fuckk! Mag lube ka na " she said.

You then get the lube and apply it to your dick and her ass.

As you try to insert your dick, it went in smoothly with Aiah opening her mouth in please as you fuck her from her ass.

" MRRRHHH MMRRHMM MRRMMM~~ "

she moaned while gritting her teeth as you scrambled her insides through her ass.

" TANGINA ANSARAAPPP " she said while looking at you.

" Ganto pala lasa at pakiramdan ng pwet ni Aiah Arceta "

" Sarap ba mag pa tira sa pwet, Aiah? "

" Oo tangina laki ng tite mo, gago "

" Ikaw palang nakapag pa cum sa'kin bago ka labasan " she added.

" Sige pa, ughh~~ tirahin mo lang pwet ko, pwede mo ako putukan dyan "

" Mamaya ako naman pupunta sainyo, titirahin ko ulit pwet mo ha "

" sigee ~uhhj, tanginamo lalabasan na ako "

" Sabay tayo, fuckkk— I'll cum inside your ass Ms. Aiah Arceta " you moaned in pleasure.

You felt liquid bursting out her pussy as you said those words you then plunged your dick as deep as possible before busting your load inside her.

You leaned on her, your head is on top of your head as both of you reached your climax at the same time.

" Ughh~~ hah , ughhh hahh, ughh~ "

Both of you moaned while catching your breaths before taking her mouth into a passionate kiss.

~~mhhhh ~mhhh *slurps *flopps

Your dick made the flop sound as you removed it from her booty.

" Sarap mo talaga Aiah "

" Hahahaha, siguro pinag jajakulan mo picture ko ano? Andami sa computer mo kita ko " she teased you.

" hahahaha " both of you laughed before fixing the bed and removing all the mess.

Aiah has been your FWB after she was brokenhearted from high school, but as she got busy in her career, the two of you only fucks with each other every holiday when Aiah goes back home to Cebu. You genuinely care about her and would not even try to use your relationship to ruin her career, she deserves it and you're always there to cheer her up and to fuck her brains out.

" Punta ka mamaya samin ha, saamin ka mag bagong taon, pakisabi kay tita nakaalis na ako hehehe " Aiah said with a beautiful smile before leaving your door.

The End.

[mbsneur]

Casual Sex

Misa Rodriguez x Reader

Summary: You met Misa because of Jenni. You have casual sex very often but you don't feel good anymore?

Warnings: Smut,Sub!reader,oral,fingering, names like „Amore“ and „good girl“

WC: 1304

please read this text before going to the story please don't be so strict with me but rather write to me what I can do better or what you wished were different. also tell me if you find the story too long or too short.. Also write to me if you liked it. My requests are always open (and English is not my first language so don't be mad at me) and if you have any ideas for the future about who I should write please tell me… the topics I will choose by myself unless you have a request for one or two people I will Read everything.. in the next survey I will take a few ideas from the old survey and new ones…. now read and I hope you like it <33

Real Madrid lost the El Clásico against rivals Barça as so often again Misa stood in front of your door frustrated and angry and fucked you in every direction

You have been friends with Jenni since childhood and last month she took you to a party where there were several Spanish people and where you also met Misa

even after 6 orgasms she was still lying between your legs your whole body was weak and shaking you saw Misas Strong arms around your thighs to keep them apart. She kissed the inside of your thighs and you saw her sweaty hair sticking to her forehead. With every kiss, your legs twitched and Misa had a smug smile in return

you are still dripping from your previous orgasm misa gets higher and higher with her mouth and licks a large stripe from your hole to your clit your legs close and you twitch you try to push misa away but she squeezes tightly around your thighs holding you in place "Misa I can't take another one, I can't feel my legs anymore"

"psht amore you can, I know you can, don't you want to be my good girl?"

„yeah mi-„

"So you see, you're going to take what I give you mh"

misa's head returns to your core she places soft kisses on your clit making you cry out misa starts sucking and brings one of her fingers to your hole and circles it gently your hips rock into her mouth and you whimper "baby please don't tease" Misa smiles and inserts a finger inside you. You start to get louder and louder and Misa hits all the right spots inside you. She curls her fingers and sucks on your clit. You breathe quickly and your pelvis rises Misa squeezes your stomach with her other hand to keep you in place. You get louder "fuck misa right there" you moan and your eyes roll into your head sweat forms on your chest and you get closer to where misa wants you "Will you cum for me pretty girl?" She asks and now pumps two fingers into your dripping hole. You can hear how wet you are "baby you are going to make me cum I want to cum on your fingers like a good girl please misa" you literally screamed misa now started sucking your clit harder and your legs started shaking you scream and cum all over misa's face your Legs close around her head and she helps you through your orgasm. She only removes her fingers when she is sure you have survived it

Misa moves away from you and comes up to you. She gently kisses your shoulder and whispers in your ear "I knew you could, my good girl" then she gets up, takes her things and starts to get dressed. You don't feel good about the fact that Misa always just comes to you to fuck you and then leaves again as if nothing had ever happened. You felt like that like an object for her you watch her, with every step her stomach tenses she renews her bun and looks for her sports bra in the room "do you want to go already Misa?" you ask her, she has found her sports bra and while she is putting on her clothes she looks at you briefly. You are lying there with your head leaning on your arm, watching the sweaty Misa. "Yes, I'm going, I'm tired. I'll call you when I see you again or I need it or i just come here" she says without batting an eyelash and sternly as if she's paying you to sleep with her somehow it's not what you want from Misa "I thought we'd take a shower together or eat together, I can make you tapas You always like them so much when I make them," you say quietly and you're embarrassed to ask "I don't have time for that, no, I'll take a shower at home." She puts on her shoes and is kind of rushed. She takes the rest of her things with her With a "see you" she slams the door and leaves you naked and tired from sex

You pull yourself together and take a hot bath. You don't really know what to think about it or what you feel or whether you want to talk to Misa about it. You don't want it to be over either because Misa actually has so much love and care in her You have often noticed when you were sick and she came here and brought you things to help you get better or she invited you to her games or went to one with you. You never talked about love, it was always just friendship and sex. casual sex.

Misa has become different. She doesn't take you anywhere anymore or is caring towards you. She only comes here to have sex with you and then leaves again. u want to feel Misa differently. u want to feel her love?

The next day

You were at work like every day. Misa wrote to you early in the morning asking if she could come over later. She misses your taste, You knew she had training. You had ignored her message through the day to do your work. You arrived home around 4pm You bought groceries and were about to put them away. You took a quick shower and sat on the couch without saying a word to Misa or answering her all day. Around 10pm a loud knock on your door broke you out of your drowsy mood

You rub your eyes and actually wanted to ignore it until there was another knock, with a loud sigh You got up and ran to the door and opened it. Who else should be standing there but Misa. She greeted you with a smile and without you being able to ask her go come in or you could close the door, her lips were against your neck "mis-" “Amore why don’t you answer me all day” she whispers between kisses against your skin "misa stop" You push her away and she looks at you confusingly, raising her arms to the height of her chest "Que pasa y/n" You sigh and close your arms in front of you. You swallow "Misa I feel like an object for you where is the Misa who goes out with me invites me to matches or holds me in her arms I feel like a woman you pay" Misa's gaze softens and she can hear the frustration in your voice "I thought I didn't want that- I thought we were just people who had casual sex. I never wanted to hurt you. Did you fall in love with me?" she says stuttering You look at her and say nothing. You don't want to answer because you don't know the answer

oh wow i hope you like it, tell me your opinion

thank you <3

[whillywisp]

Seeing a lot of talks about finnick as a dad/doting husband during pregnancy on the fyp and I must contribute to the conversation 🌱 (warnings: it's long and so fluffy you're gonna die). Part 1.

Part 2 ☁︎

The thing about Finnick is that he has a lot of love to give to anyone who would take it. His heart is overflowing with it, shining cerulean with it. So of course fatherhood came to him as easily as breathing—

Wrong. Have you seen that walking talking ball of anxiety, love and autism?

The day you tell him you're pregnant he passes the fuck out. On the floor. And when he wakes up he cries for an hour straight, thanking you enough times with kisses pressed into every inch of your skin he could reach that the words don't even sound like English anymore. He's so grateful, so fucking grateful and terrified but above all, completely and irrevocably in love with you.

Throughout the pregnancy, he's as paranoid as it gets to the point you have to beg him to please leave you alone and no, Finnick the baby won't be hurt if i eat too fast please breathe and let me breathe but it's all from a place of love. He's lost too much, almost everything in his life. The few people he could still keep were precious to him and he was not going to let any of them forget that least of all his babies. Or baby.

Finnick talks to the baby a lot. Asking the most bizarre question to your bump as if he actually expected a tiny, baby's voice to answer him. He was constantly on about something new and his favourite topic to talk about was whatever his new hyperfixation was and you just nodded and smiled because of course the baby wants to know how to do an alpine stitch! But it was so endearing and relieving to see him finally be happy, finally find a purpose, even if it was to just talk nonstop to your belly. He deserves this, these little pockets of happiness.

And one of his greatest happiness was taking care of you. Circling back to the fact that he starts hyperventilating when his lover so much as sneezes too hard, the hellscape that was pregnancy scared him. No, fuck it, it terrified him. So he did what he always did and loved to do and banned you from anything and everything that needed physical exertion. Chores of any kind were out of order. You were on a healthy diet of four meals a day and of course they included all your cravings that he always presented to you no questions asked thank you very much and you had to take naps, multiple of them, all with his presence as a requirement (you were sure those were just an excuse to cuddle you but you would rather take up another round of hunger games than call him out on it). He attended every appointment, had an alarm set for all the prenatal meds, and always a kiss for the belly and your lips just so you knew that this was it for him. You and your baby were the very centre of his universe and this was him orbiting you both. And you couldn't help but be grateful that you had him to love and cherish just as he did you.

And your favourite way of telling him you loved him was letting him take control over the one thing you knew he loved: baby shopping. With all due respect, this is the type of guy who bought baby shoes when he was eighteen with no baby in sight because look at how tiny this is it's so cute *big sparkly green eyes.* But it's particularly endearing watching him waltz around the store, arms full of onesies and plushies and you kind of just stand there, unable to do anything because what the fuck were you supposed to do at nine months pregnant and married to a man who you *checks notes* gifted a day where he could buy anything he wanted as a birthday present?

I promise you the answer was not 'go into an early labour the second he dumped the shopping bags in the living room' but who am I to say anything?

The baby coming two whole weeks early did not sit well with his anxiety. He was a mess, a complete and utter mess but he was also the most precious angel on this planet so seeing him holding back tears of fear so he could be there for you and hold you tight, so tight, because he was scared he would lose you broke your heart too. While the pain of the labour was bad, knowing he was close, holding you tight as he pressed gentle kisses everywhere, to cater to everything you needed, was enough to realise, he was the one. And you were going to fight through hell for him.

Such a wretched thing, love, you thought to yourself as you felt him shake beside you through the pain and haze, to ask you to hope against hope that the strain on your strength and your fading string of fate would persevere despite it all.

But you did. You survived and so did your precious little baby girl, and so did the last pieces of Finnick's soul, despite it all.

The first time he holds his tiny, tiny baby in his arms, something in his brain just clicks (or maybe his frontal lobe was finally fully developed because of course his baby picked the day before his birthday to make her own entry on planet earth) but whatever it was, it was perfect. His entire world narrowed down to the squirming little angel in his arms and he couldn't help but feel his heart leave his chest for the second time in his life to become hers. She fit right into the crook of his arms, the space in his neck. She fit into his life like another piece of puzzle that he never knew he was look for.

She was his little angel, his little girl. The person he never knew he fought through whole wars for but now, holding her against his chest as he watched you both sleep, he knew this is what he was meant to do. To love, to love, to love. For the sake of it. Simply because he could. Simply because he was alive and it was good enough reason to love with his entire being.

Part 1 because I don't exactly know if you people will like it enough to want more.

[sgiandubh]

Chère Madame Connasse/ Dear Mrs. Fuckwit

First of all, please excuse the length of this answer (you have also been blocked, incidentally speaking). This deserves its own audio. In French, since the French connection is so fucking tenuous:

Here is the English translation, since I am pretty sure Madame Connasse does not speak any French:

'Dear Mrs. Fuckwit,

Oh, well - how may I put it? I also find interesting that such an idiot would lose her time sending such enormous things to a page she hates and which, in return, cordially tells her to go fuck herself.

I usually am entitled to some pretty mighty garbage, but you do have enough vocabulary as to use words like 'hubristic' and 'vortex'. That makes you, by the way, very vulnerable and also more exposed than Uganda's current budget.

But why not you, after all, like so many others? The more, the merrier and you do write, not without some chutzpah, that my French connection is tenuous, as is my legal expertise and that I make you laugh, along with all the rest of the shipper community. Which, to be honest, is as untrue as possible. But it must be such a pain in the ass for you to see that people read me, that people like what I write and that, who knows, all those people (of which there are many), have a better day, in this bizarre environment.

I have already shown you some pictures of myself, including at official events. It was not enough.

I have already shown you my car, my office, my desk and my diplomatic passport. It was not enough.

With just one click you could have checked all the (very transparent) clues I have patiently scattered in my posts, in order for you to find me. Some did. They know perfectly well that you lie and you know it, too.

So, here's the deal, you stupid bitch: your cackle will turn sour when you'll see this very official paper:

This is just one of my law degrees - my Public Law BA at the Paris II University, in June 2001, as you can see by yourself. I have worked so hard and so passionately to get it, that I don't give a flying fuck about the fact that a nobody, and a coward to boot, doubts me. I have nothing to prove, nothing to demonstrate and I owe you nothing. However, sometimes one must set the record straight and I am a very impulsive person, after all.

I shall spare you all the rest, dear Mrs. Fuckwit. There is much more, but I am afraid your self esteem could never bear it. That being said, think twice, the next time you'd try to humiliate someone you do not know. Internet is so wonderfully sketchy that you never know (pinky promise: like never, ever know) to whom you're really talking. People lie very easily in here: I find this ridiculous and useless, in 2024, when one can find more or less everything about anyone. In no time at all, provided one knows exactly how to do it (between you and me, it's not even that complicated).

You and your posse of Pointless Underlings have insulted and intimidated dozens and dozens of people of our community, with an absolutely revolting ferocity. You have been doing it for years, with complete impunity and the strong belief that you were protected by a particularly perverted context, by some obscure agendas and by the indifference of the Two Main Characters. I am here to tell you I am not afraid and also that I couldn't care less about whatever you'd write or think. You will do it again, of course, because I think your obsessive universe is limited to the tiny window of your delusions.

But don't worry, dear Mrs. Fuckwit: until further notice, I shall make mine what a distant descendant of Irish Rebels, marshal of France Mac Mahon, said during the Crimea War - I am here and I am here to stay.

Also, you know: she who laughs last laughs the best.'

[iluvusukuna]

Yuji/sukuna x fem. Reader

Summary : you and your best friend Yuji need to work on a project together but Sukuna decides to take control and have some fun with you .

Cw: fem ! Reader. Charachter is a student at jujutsu high school. All characters are over 18!

A/n: English is not my first language so pls don’t be mean , if you find some incorrect things feel free to correct me;)

Warning : smut . Receiving Oral sex.

WC: 1.7k

🫧🎧: bathroom . Montell Fish

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You were walking to your dorm after classes when Yuji bumped into you with a big smile on his face . It wasn’t unusual to see Yuji so happy , but it made you furious sometimes. Was he really happy or did he just faked it . You were sure that it wasn’t easy for him to share his body with a curse . But he never complained. You both where really close it’s not like he didn’t tell you everything but he always tells you that he’s fine even though you say that you don’t believe him, he just changes the subject .

“Here!” He showed a strawberry milk in your hand even though you didn’t like it at all but it was he’s favorite so you drank it every time he gave it to you .

The last two weeks you avoided Yuji because Sukuna always makes and awkward comment about you and your body and it got out of hand the last time . But it seems like that Yuji doesn’t acknowledged it . Sometimes he acts as if he doesn't hear those comments, and other times he just makes fun of them, but the last time sukuna's comment about your short skirt was quite awkward for both of you, especially when he remarked that in such a short skirt he could easily slip a finger into your cunt or fuck you without anybody knowing . After this comment , the air was tick and embarrassing for both of you but you guys agreed to not talk about it ever .

Until your teacher assigned a partner project and Yuji was the first person to ask you too work together and how could you say no to this sweet boy , so you agreed hoping with everything in your body that Sukuna wouldn’t comment anything about you this time .

“So do you wanna work in mine or your dorm ?” Yuji asked still sipping his strawberry milk .

“Let’s do it in yours , your have more snacks and a better wifi too!” You looked at him and shook your head. “I’m hundred percent sure that the wifi is better there because you and Megumi are Gojo’s sensei favorite students , and he made something to make it better !

Yuji just laughed and talked about the things he and Megumi got away with because of Gojo sensei .

You both arrived at Yujis dorm , you took of your shoes and trowed your things onto the floor and laid down on his bed .

“To be honest I don’t have the will to do this project !” You sighed and looked at Yuji with pouting lips . “Let’s do it another time and just relax today , I’m too tired for anything .” You complained and got under his sheets . Yuji just laughed and sat next to you and pulled the sheets down from your body .

“Noo! Let me sleep!” But he didn’t stop you tried to get the blanket back, but he didn't give it so easily, he tore the blanket off your body and started to tickle you , and you burst out laughing. you tried to over come him and pushed him down on the bed. You where now on top of him your legs next to his hip but you two where to busy to acknowledge the awkward position you where in until you both heard an unpleasant voice .

“I’m sure this little brat enjoys your little cunt rubbing into his crotch!” You looked at Yuji his face reddens from sukunas comment and you back away from him . A mouth forms on yujis hand laughing and grinning at you .

“I hope I didn’t mess up y’all little game , but I could show you so much better and existing things !” Your face reddens even more after this but the mouth on yujis hand curls into a devilish grin .

“You should leave !” He stood up and opened his door . “Now!” He said it a little panicked this time . You locked confused but you stood up and walked to the door only to turn back because you left you phone on his bed . You grabbed your phone and walked out of the door when someone grabbed your arm.

“What….” Your blood drained from your body . Red eyes were looking back at you . Black tattoos covering Yujis body , sharp black nails digging into your skin .

“Hello little girl !” Sukuna grinned at you with his sharp white teeth .

“No…no! Let me go !” Your tried to get free from his grip but he was too strong for you . He closed the door with a loud bang and pushed you against it .

“Shh , relax little girl ! I’m not gonna hurt you unless you ask me too!” He stroked your face gently and then his hand glided lower, eventually stopping around your neck and wrapping it around you, squeezing it lightly, it didn’t hurt . It’s actually felt surprisingly good. You clenched your thighs together feeling your heat getting wetter and wetter . You hoped he didn’t notice anything of that but the smirk on his face told you otherwise.

“Looks like our little girl isn’t that innocent hmm?” He whispered and moved his hand lower on your body stopping at the zipper of your skirt . He slowly pulled the zipper down without taking his eyes of you . You didn’t stop him , you wanted him but you couldn’t. This new feeling held you captured and you just couldn’t. He pulled your skirt down leaving you only in your baby pink panties . It had a bow on it which caught Sukuna attention .

“Cute!” He noted . “But we don’t really need it do we ?” And with that he ripped your panties and trowed it behind his back . Your breath hitched in your throat , you chest moved up and down a little faster , you couldn’t decide it, was it because of fear or maybe something else?

You were pulled out from your thoughts when Sukuna’s fingers dipped into your slick . You let out a small whimper from the surprise of the contact but clapped a hand fast on your mouth .

“No , little girl let them hear you!” He grabbed both of your hands with his free hand and pulled them behind you making you arch you back.

“Tell me , has anyone touched you like this before ?” He asked dangerously close to your neck . You shook you head which made sukuna’s lips curl into a big smile .

“Hm that needs to stay this way because nobody should touch what’s mine understood ?” You nodded , which made him bite your neck .

“Words ! Use your words little girl !” He gave a little peck on the place he bit your neck and you whimpered an “yes I understand” out .

Sukuna smiled and let go of your hands and grabbed your hips . “You are such a good girl , and good girls get rewards isn’t that right ?” With that he led you to Yujis bed and pushed you down on it . Your tried to close your legs but he was faster and grabbed your ankles to open your legs even wider .

“Don’t try to ever hide yourself from me !” He commanded and with a small nod you relaxed your body .

Sukuna smirked and kneeled before you , he put his hands under your legs and pulled you closer , he was face to face with your cunt which made your face burn in heat .

“you should consider yourself lucky , because i never kneeled before anyone in my lifetime!” That was the last thing Sukuna said before connecting his tongue to your clit . Your arched your back and let your body fall down into the bed from the sudden and new felling . Your tried to push him away and close your legs but it only made him groan .

he circled your clit with his tongue, and collected your wetness and spread it everywhere. you were unable to say anything, only shameless whimpers left your lips which made him purr against your cunt .

“You taste amazing little girl , and your sweet moans . I can’t imagine why this brat never tasted your before !” This made your remember that this is Yujis body and you wanted to back away from Sukuna but he held you tight and he didn’t waste anytime , he dipped his tongue into your wet count which made you moan out loudly .

You knew that this was wrong and you should at least fight back , but this feeling was like a new drug to you , your where drunk from it and the only thing you could think of right now where sukuna’s tongue deep inside you cunt moving in and out with incredible speed.

“Suk..kuna!” You could feel it , you couldn’t describe the feeling but you knew you were close! “I’m so close please !” You begged but didn’t even know why .

“I know little girl , don’t hold yourself back and cum on me !” He said groaning against your heat .

That was the only thing you needed to hear, you arched your back and climaxed moaning his name in broken screams , your body shook from the orgasm Sukuna just gave you . He stood up and looked at your flushed face waiting for you to come down from your high.

After you relaxed you opened yours eyes . Two big red eyes were focused on you . You looked down on his lips , your eyes widened at the sight. Your cum dripping down from his chin his lips covered in your white slick .

You covered your head from the embarrassment but Sukuna just laughed and hovered over you grabbing your two hands pulling it over your head .

“We are not done little girl !” He said with an intense smile and moved his head closer to yours . His nose was touching yours . Now that you see him closer he’s absolutely beautiful. You knew what you wanted to do was wrong but you did it anyways . You closed the distance between you two and kissed him. He groaned from your boldness and deepened the kiss . You could taste your own wetness from his lips but you didn’t mind. After he broke the kiss you locked at him with a flushed face and puffy lips . He pulled his finger around your lips and stuck his thumb into your mouth .

“Let’s make a better use from this mouth shall we ?” He smirked deviously

“W…what about Yuji ?” You asked him restless because this was still your best fiends body .

“That brat can wait . I’m sure he doesn’t mind if I have some fun with you right ?” He licked his lips and pulled you close to him kissing you again eagerly . It’s not like you had a chose in this but if you had, you probably couldn’t say no to the king of curses .

—————————————————————————-

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #218

Submission 696

Uncle Iroh absolutely fucks. He gets pussy. He's sexually active

1. Have you seen the way he interacts with similarly aged women? have you seen the way they respond? 2. the basket seller in Ba Sing Se (in the tale of iroh in tales of ba sing se) saw Iroh looking through the baskets and literally said "If this is for a romantic picnic, may I suggest this lavender one" like dude took one look at Iroh and was like this dude fucks

I was going to make a really good pun about Iroh and 'kettle', but I decided that's probably too niche, even for me. But if any of you happen to be English farmers from the 1600s, you would've loved it.

Anyway, propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[kairiscorner]

now what if

miguel x filipino reader (silly and soft hcs!!)

• he'd have little problems understanding you, same with miles, in the previous x filipino reader, he'd understand the shared words tagalog and spanish have.

• involuntarily, i think mans would full on speak spanish if he hears you use just enough shared words to get him expressing his thoughts in spanish.

• "beh, asan yung sapatos ko? hala ba't malapit sa bintana, okay, ah, bibili ako ng leche flan, gusto mo ba?"

• "oh, claro, seguro que me gustaría un poco."

• "ano, ah, okay"

• you two would kinda just get by picking up random tidbits of spanish and tagalog, BUT YOU CANNOT DENY THAT YOU FALL APART WHEN HE SPEAKS SPANISH; HIS VOICE >>>>>>

• he'd also fear the slipper.

• you joke that if another spider person came crawling to you, crying because he yelled at them, you threatened to throw your own slippers in his face; you refused to let him just get angry whenever things didn't go his way.

• "isa pa, sinasabi ko talaga sayo, TSITSINELASIN KITA SA MUKHA, WAG MO KONG SUBUKAN"

• "PLEASE, I'M SORRY, PUT THE DAMN SLIPPER DOWN, QUERIDA"

• he got less angry at the spider people when you threatened him, he became more patient and understanding because of your guidance, too.

• you taught him to use "po" and "opo" when addressing his elders, especially towards your parents when he met them. he was initially confused as to why you used it on him when you two were practically the same age, but when you explained it was just your habit, he didn't ask anymore. in fact, he kinda found it endearing.

• when he learned how "ate" (ah-teh) and "kuya" were used, he called you that for a while until you told him you didn't want him to call you that and just refer to you by name.

• "ate/kuya, what's the update?", "ate/kuya, your report?", "ate/kuya, i want some, what was it? ah, ate/kuya, i want some tinapay (bread)"

• but when he learned about filipino pet names......... he used them TO THE MAX.

• he calls you, "mahal", "beh", and the..... "bebe labs" (cries) he used the "bebe labs" one because you kept using it for him.

• "bebe labs, what's for dinner?" now that was the first and last time he ever called you that. yes, lyla and you have a recording of that, it's your ringtone.

• your song with him is "panalangin" by apo hiking society, change my mind.

• he doesn't seem too interested in teleseryes, what with his hardass and stern look, but when he caught you watching one at home at night when he came back, he found himself sitting down with you and making commentary about the antagonistic bitches and how it'd be so satisfying for them to receive karma, tearing about a character's death, and clicking his tongue as he says, "i fucking knew they were gonna cheat/weren't dead/that character was the parent"

• he'd make an effort to learn tagalog and/or your local dialect for you, especially if you were more fluent in that than in english. he also wanted you to feel that he valued your culture and your roots, just as much as he valued his own.

• HE LOVES THE CHICKENJOY IN JOLLIBEE 🫂🫂🫂

• if you two ever got into an argument, he'd buy you jollibee as an apology and say he was really sorry and that the whole argument was stupid, he shouldn't have said/done what he said or did.

• MIGGY IN A BARONG TAGALOG >>>>>>

• he blushes when you call him "guapo/gwapo", you do it all the time :> he calls you "maganda" and "mahal ko" regardless of your gender <333

[wonderland-smile-stories]

~ Chapter 1. 01 ~

I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes and how poorly written this fanfic is. English is not my first language and together with my dyslexia ass things can go wrong I'm sorry.

With a loud sigh, I open the door slowly hoping nobody would notice me. There were some voices in the living room and upstairs, but they seemed too busy to hear me entering.

Slipping off my shoes I held my stomach trying to ease the pain when I bent forwards. The beating from the previous night was still hurting as bad as when I received them. It also didn't help that I was pushed into the lockers about ten times today.

With slow steps, I began to make my way to the stairs. If I am lucky I can avoid everyone today and get a good night's sleep. My foot had just stepped on the first step of the stairs when I someone clear they were through. I close my eyes taking a deep breath.

"Mi-na. Where do you think you're going?" The sharp raspy voice spoke from behind me.

I turn around gripping tightly on the strap of my backpack that was hanging on my right shoulder.

"I was going to bed," I answered hoping she would be tired and just let it go.

While Taking a drag of her cigarette, her eyes scan me up and down before she blows out the smoke to speak. "Where have you been? It's eight a clock at night."

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I had a chance to speak she was already talking.

"Are you doing something behind my back again? I hope I won't get child services again at my door. I don't need to remind you what happened when they were gone." I swallow thickly grabbing my left arm while rubbing on the scars that were left to remind me.

"N....n..no. I....I was just."

"Just what huh? Speak up or you are spending your night in the shed."

The shed is a cold dark and nasty place. It's where you get sent if you so-called misbehave. You never know when you're allowed to get out or if even a day when by. It's just you in the darkness.

"I had to go to the pharmacy," I mumble looking down at my feet.

A scoff could be heard throughout the room before her shrill voice spoke again.

"Pharmacy? For what huh? Last time I checked you weren't sick."

I look up trying to steady my breath.

"M..my wou-"

"Stop mumbling! You know I hate when someone mumbles!" She yelled stepping closer to me.

"My wounds. They were getting infected. If I didn't threaten them it would get worse and had to go to the hospital. I thought it would be better to threaten them now before people would see it." I explain hoping she would just let me off by yelling at me.

For a few seconds, she looked at me before a stinging hit my cheek making my head turn to the side.

"Don't explain yourself as if you did something good! You wouldn't have those wounds in the first place if you hadn't disobeyed me!"

With heavy breaths, I look at her while holding my burning cheek.

"What money did you use to buy that shit." She asked calmly, too calmly.

"The money I got from my job," I mutter out.

Before I could brace myself she grabbed my hair pulling me closer to her.

"You stole from me?! You know that that money belongs to me!" Her face was so closed that I was getting dizzy from the smell of cigarettes coming from her mouth.

"I'm s..so....ry!" I cry out holding my hair where she was pulling on.

"Sorry? Sorry?! What the fuck does your 'sorry' do me?! Huh?" With every word her grip tightened on my hair, making tears appear in my eyes.

"I give you a place to live and this is how you repay me! Stealing and lying!"

With big force, she pulled me to the ground landing hard on my already bruised knees.

"It's like you're asking to get punished!"

Without any warning, she slammed her foot on my left hand. A loud cry escaped my mouth, but I quickly shut it hoping nobody else would hear it. I don't want the others to come down and help her.

"I....I'm sorry I'll pay it ba.." My voice was interrupted when she twisted her shoe on my hand while putting more pressure on it.

"Without a doubt! I don't care how you do it, I just want my fucking money!" With one last twist, she steps off my hand.

I cradle it against my chest feeling how it was throbbing from the pain. I swear I could feel something broken in it when I ran my finger over it.

"Get out of my eyes before I put you in the shed!" I nodded my head quickly standing up.

I watch as she walks back to the living room making sure she is completely gone before going upstairs. With the back of my other hand, I wipe the tears that had escaped my eyes.

Every day is the same.

Even if I do everything she wants she still finds a way to punish me.

With a deep sigh, I enter my room closing the door behind me. At least I didn't see the other kids. They love to watch or even help with her. Even in school, I can't escape. They just continue what they started at home there.

Walking to my bed I turn on the bedside lamp making it less dark in my room. It wasn't big and there wasn't much in it, but at least I was alone. I put my bag to the side before taking off my hoodie and shirt underneath it. I had just pulled my jeans down when I heard a crack in the floor behind me.

Quickly I turned around and came face to face with Drew. There was a cocky smirk on his face while looking me up and down. Quickly I grabbed my hoodie and threw it over my head hoping it would cover most of my body.

"Don't stop because of me. There is nothing I haven't seen before." I bite the inside of my cheek shaking my head at him.

"What are doing in my room, Drew? It has already been a long day and I really want to go to bed."

A part of me knew why he was here. While the other part hoped he was just here to annoy me. But seeing that it was late at night only one thing came to my mind. I have told myself that I won't let him do this to me anymore. That I would fight harder until he was annoyed and just left me alone.

A chuckle left his lips before taking a step toward me. As I said it was a small room, and it didn't take him much to reach me.

"Just wanted to say hey. Besides I heard that you were in trouble again with Ms. Ward. You just can't help yourself, don't you, love?" He reaches out moving a strain of hair out of my face.

The moment his fingertips grazed my cheek I could feel a chill run up my spine.

"Don't touch me," I mutter out moving my face from his hands.

"Just get out of my room. Haven't you done enough today?" I breathe out tiredly.

With both his hands he grabbed my face pulling me completely against his body.

"What the?! I said le.." Before I could finish he had crashed his lips on mine.

I had to process for a second what was happening before I began to struggle to get away from him. I felt him bite my lip, but I firmly held my two lips together denying entrance. With one strong shove, I push him away from me taking a deep breath immediately afterward.

"What's wrong with you!?" I cough out wiping my lips.

"Can't you go to one of your side chicks? Why do you want me?!" I whispered trying not to let the others know what was happening here.

A laugh came out of his mouth before he moved back in front of me. I took a few steps back but was quickly met with the bed behind me. Almost falling backward on it.

"Nobody is like you, love. You're just so different than the others."

I shook my head.

"Just go," I whisper hoping he would listen to me.

The same annoying chuckle left his mouth before he gave me a shove. Quickly I fell backward on my bed hitting my head hard on the wall.

For a second I think had passed out, but was quickly back to the present, well half the present.

My sight was hazy and blurry like they had put a filter over my eyes. When I tried to move my head the room seemed to spin around me, making me close my eyes tightly trying not to get dizzy. Without noticing I fell back in the dark, but not before I felt a presence beside me.

I felt someone grabbing my legs and putting them on the bed slowly I opened my eyes and saw someone sitting on the bed beside me slowly rubbing my bare leg. Goosebumps ran through my body making me want to pull away, but it was like my body wasn't listening. There was a voice, but it was muffled like I was in the water.

I think I passed out again because the next time I woke up I could feel coldness over my whole body. Slowly I looked down and saw that my hoodie was gone. I wanted to panic and run away, but everything was still blurry around me. A dark figure hovered above me before a hand touched my cheek and some words came out of its mouth that I couldn't understand.

When I woke up again I could feel something sitting between my legs. Still, with blurry vision, I looked down and saw what I thought was Drew. I watched as he moved his hands from my leg to my stomach stopping just underneath my bra. I shook my head and I could hear myself say a weak 'no', but that didn't stop him one bit.

I felt him put his two hands beside my face before leaning down and whispering.

"Don't worry love, I'll let you enjoy it too." before kissing my earlobe up until my cheek before crashing his lips on me. I tried to move away, squirming away from his touch and trying to push him away, but he didn't budge with my weak attempt.

Suddenly I felt myself sinking deeper into my mattress, before being fully in it and the touch of Drew faded away. The material of the mattress disappeared underneath my back and before I knew it I began to fall. My body felt like I was a doll that was tossed to the side of the room when a child was done playing with it.

Nothing worked not even my own voice.

I was ready to hit the ground and welcome the darkness of death, but when my back finally met the ground I only felt pain shoot through my body.

For a few seconds, I just lay there thinking I would probably pass out, but then I began to notice something.

It was so silent.

All the noise from the people in the house, Drew, or even the noises from outside my room was completely gone. I felt my fingers twitch from beside me slowly feeling the ground around me. I only felt cold concrete. Finally, I could open my eyes and was met with a dark room.

Is this the afterlife?

Am I in hell for all the shitty things I had done in life? The cold on my body was completely gone which made me look down. Somehow my clothes were back on. Maybe I am really dead.

"Don't worry you're still alive. For now." A voice spoke from somewhere in the dark and followed with a dark snickering.

I quickly sat up noticing that my wounds and pain were gone.

"You know you can still accept me. It's never too late to be the thing always wanted to be." The voice was so familiar to me, but I could place a face with it.

I began to turn around trying to see where the person was, but there was nothing. When a laugh came from behind I turned around ready to run towards it when the ground underneath my feet crumbled away. With a yelp, I managed to grab onto the side of the hole.

I pulled my head above the edge leaning on my arms underneath my chin. Being hopeful that I could pull myself up a cry left my lips when something grabbed my leg pulling me down. Soon others follow making me almost lose my grip.

While struggling to get free of the hands I heard a laugh in front of me. Looking up I could see a person coming from out of the shadows. My eyes widened when I saw that they looked exactly like me. The only things that were different and stood out were the black eyes and the sinister smile.

"You know, I can help you if you want to."

My nails were digging into the ground trying to get a grip on something to hold me up, but I kept slipping away. Everything inside of me was screaming not to trust her. She squad down in front of me looking down at me with those abysses of eyes and a smile.

"Don't you want to be strong?" She mockingly said with a chuckle at the end.

By now I was holding on to the edge with just my fingers.

"Come take my hand. I'll help you." A part of me wanted to let go so that I would be away from her, but the other part wanted to reach out.

It was the part that was tired of fighting to survive.

I have been fighting my whole life, maybe this is a gift for everything that has happened.

With a shaky hand, I began to reach out toward the other me, but before I could brush my fingertips against hers a hand reached my shoulders yanking forcefully so that I let go of the edge.

For the second time, I was falling, but now everything was dark around me. I yelled loudly while the hands were still holding me, their grip getting harder and harder. One reached my throat and I could feel it begin to squeeze cutting off the air that was going into my body.

A loud banging began to sound around me getting louder and louder while the light from the hole got smaller and smaller.

Next chapter

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The first chapter is out! I haven’t figured out what the update schedule will be. It won’t be every day that’s something I’m sure about. I hope you like it. See you in the next chapter!

[olympeline]

Please somebody spare a crumb of kindness and ask me about my scotfruk omegaverse thoughts. I have so many Feelings about the potential dynamics between these three. They are some of my favourite guys to put in situations together. So I’m reworking one of my old posts with a new a/b/o twist:

Gimme a historical human AU where Alasdair, the alpha king of Scotland, was wed to the French prince Francis Bonnefoy to strengthen their nations’ alliance against the English. Everyone assumed Francis - graceful, pretty child he was - would present omega. He might even have been a borderline case who had a “false heat” or two after he hit puberty. So the two royal families were all: “Jackpot!” and married him to Alasdair as soon as they were both of age. Then, disaster! Turns out they’d jumped the gun in the worst way. Against all odds, Francis presented beta. Meaning there could be no children born of his and Alasdair’s union. Disaster for France, much worse disaster for Scotland, opposite of disaster and cause for much laughter, celebrating, and schadenfreude in England. Many jokes made and toasts drunk to royal couple “Alas, no heir” and Francis “Barrenfoy” in the lands Anglo.

Everyone tells Alasdair to set his “useless” husband aside. Annul their marriage and try again. But Alasdair has come to truly love Francis and he refuses. Their wooing was rough at first (ba-dum-tsh!) but opposites attract and they fell for each other in the end. Just in time for all hope to die that Francis could be an omega. Alasdair wouldn’t throw Francis away, though. Fiery, fiercely loving, stubborn man Alasdair is, even Francis himself couldn’t change his mind. Though Francis’s protests are, admittedly, halfhearted as hell. He’s come to love Alasdair just as much. He doesn’t want to lose him or the new life he’s built for himself in Scotland. The guillt still gnaws away at Francis, though. All kings needs progeny as a matter of urgency. If only he hadn’t presented beta. Then everything would be all right.

Meanwhile the English, once they got over their hangovers, decided to take advantage of their neighbour’s political woes and attack the Scottish borderlands. Their forces lead by one Arthur Bloody Kirkland: beta English prince, ready to kick some tartan on his father’s orders. The English aim to seize the lowlands but, unfortunately for them, Alasdair and Francis aren’t so distracted that they’ve forgetten how to fight. It turns into a Battle of Bannockburn style Scottish victory and not only is the English army sent fleeing, but Arthur himself is captured. Though he at least manages to hide his identity and pretend to be an ordinary knight. Swapping armour with a dead comrade just before capture and letting the jubilant Scots believe they’d killed their enemy’s crown prince. The last thing Arthur wants is to be executed or used as a hostage so England is bankrupted getting him back. They’ve lost enough as is with his humiliating defeat. Arthur is taken back to Alasdair’s castle and made into a gift for Francis. Even after such a big victory, Alasdair can see his husband is still depressed and hopes having a sassenach slave to torment will cheer him up. Arthur gave Alasdair plenty of lip while being questioned and afterwards Alasdair decided a life spent on his knees (ahem) as a servant would be just what the doctor ordered for the proud, haughty Englishman.

Francis and Arthur are Francis and Arthur no matter what the universe and sparks fly right from the get-go. Francis does enjoy tormenting Arthur but Arthur gives as good as he gets and Francis…likes it? They both do, actually. Just staring across the room in a: “Grrr, I hate you so much but I want you inside me so badly you bastard fuck you!” way. More guilt for Francis because now he’s attracted to two men on top of everything else and only one of them is his spouse. Alasdair notices and is pissed as hell but then he also can’t help imagining that blonde on blonde Action and ffffuuuuck. He should just get rid of Arthur, who’s a terrible servant anyway, but ffffuuuuck. Seeing him on his knees is…ffffuuuuck. Also, much more importantly, having Arthur around to fight with has rallied Francis’s low spirits at last. So throwing their prisoner in the nearest loch is a big no-no. You played yourself, Alasdair. For Arthur’s part, he knows he should be trying to escape and not thinking so much about Auld Alliance double dickings but it’s like he’s losing his mind around them. Seriously, what is wrong with him? Why is he feeling this way for these sexy husbands he’s meant to hate and also it’s winter so why the fuck is he suddenly so hot all the time?! Scotland is meant to be cold but Arthur is stumbling around flushed and unsteady with a brain full of cotton as if he were drunk. This must be how omegas feel when their heats are close. But that’s not relevant to Arthur, who’s confident he’s 100% a beta and always has been. Which is fortunate because an omega can’t be king in England. Absolutely, totally against the law down there. So it’s a good thing that’s not what Arthur is. That he definitely isn’t one of the 0.01% of omegas who present late for Reasons no one understands yet because it’s the past and advanced medicine still involves covering people in leeches and yelling at stars. No, Arthur is just coming down with something. He definitely isn’t a late bloomer. Definitely. Definitely, definitely. Otherwise his already bad situation would be even worse! And even Arthur Bloody Kirkland isn’t that unlucky. Hahahaha haha…haha…ha

So that’s our pitch, folks! We have Alasdair: the alpha king trying to balance complex political realities with adoration for his spouse. Alongside Francis: the beta king consort torn apart by the guilt of being one of his beloved Alasdair’s Biggest Problems in a way he can’t fix. And finally Arthur: the captured beta (…) secret prince trying to find a way to escape back to his kingdom before anyone discovers his true identity. Oh the drama, oh the angst, oh the romance, oh the everything. Good God, please let me ramble on about these fictional men. I am Like This thinking about them:

[agendabymooner]

pag-ibig, traducido (love, translated) || cs55 fic

carlos sainz x ofc (filipino!content creator!ofc)

EXTENSION TO RIDE HOME

Summary: Magdalena ‘Magda’ and Carlos Sainz can bring the two worlds together through words and actions. OR, moments in which the Filipino woman and her Spanish husband learned to love each other while learning more about what they know about themselves. 

Content warning: Use of explicit language, shitty Tagalog/Filipino and Spanish translations, a lot of Spanish colonial and Filipino history jokes, parental abandonment, brief reference to religious and cultural practice (weddings), mentions elopement, secret marriage, briefly mentions PR relationships/girlfriends, time skipping, what is beta reading lol

Note: The last part of this story is loosely based on the idea given to me by @clairalle and the song 'Paninindigan Kita' by Ben&Ben so thank you so much! ❤️

Letting you all know that some Filipino dialogue here are translated based on how I know it in both English and Tagalog language??? And also, there are some words in here that are the same in context BUT written in two different spellings - some of the words are spelled based on phonics or how it sounds. Enjoy xx

masterlist

i. 2016 — shit, ayos ka lang?

Ramona Magdalena normally had the patience for Tesco. She wasn’t sure what it was, but everything had her seething with no apparent reason. She tried to figure out what went wrong. 

It was only 3 p.m., for goodness sake! 

Her third year at the university was supposed to make things easier, but the way she clenched at the handle of her shopping cart as she sped through the aisles of Tesco showed nothing of the sort. 

She was so tense, her jaw clenching as she asked herself repeatedly if there was an actual reason for her getting worked up over something. 

Her mother, Alma, was being herself; she was merely calling to see how the university was for Magda. Alma only told Magda about her cousins in the Philippines and how they were looking forward to getting the “balikbayan” box in August, only for the younger woman to respond grumpily. Alma was a dear— so clearly Magda’s grumpiness had nothing to do with her mother’s daily check-in. 

She appreciated her mother’s efforts to keep up with Magda’s well-being; after all, Alma did everything she could as a single parent who immigrated to the UK long before she took Magda. 

So no. She loved her mother so much that she wouldn’t get unreasonably cranky towards her. Not easily, at least. 

But her questions withered away when her speed walking was interrupted by her shopping cart crashing into a figure. Her eyes widened, and she shook herself out of her thoughts. 

“Mierda!” Shit! An accent escaped out of the man’s mouth. 

Now, Magda had been a citizen of the UK for a while now— she knew when to speak English and how to utilize her vocabulary in a reasonable manner. But everything seemed to be in panic mode as she exclaimed, “Shit! Ayos ka lang?” Are you okay?

The man was still groaning, bent over as he clutched to his stomach. He glared at her for a moment as he asked, “¿Por qué no observas a dónde vas?” Why can’t you watch where you are going?

“Hah?” She cocked her head slightly. She only picked up on the first two words. Por qué? Why? 

He’s Spanish, Magda deduced. She stepped away from the cart and walked towards him, “I’m so, so, so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—“

“Obviously—“ he muttered hastily, still touching his aching side. 

“I’m also in a rush, and I’m so frustrated and tired. Three years into adulthood and I can’t make shit right,” Magda hadn’t even realized that she was ranting to a stranger as she rambled, “GCSE clearly didn’t do shit to me because I’m still here bitching about what to cook— punyeta naman kasi, ‘di ba.” What the fuck, am I right?

He stared at her for a moment, not even interrupting her as she spoke. But the silence made Magda pause as her face flushed red, earning a soft smirk from the man. “Mama said I have a problem with speaking too much without thinking.” 

He chuckled at her rambling before sticking his hand out, “We can call it… truce— I think is the word?” 

“Yeah, okay, truce,” she reached out and introduced herself while shaking his hand, “I’m Magdalena.” 

“I’m Carlos.” 

“So, like… you’re Spanish, right? Or do you just speak Español? I’ve only picked up on some words because they’re quite similar— or I suppose I learned it through some song from years ago.” 

“I am actually Spanish; good guess. And you said puñeta— I can assume you also speak Español?” 

“Oh, hah, about that— no. That’s not spoken in Spanish. That’s— yeah, that’s something.” 

ii. 2017 — irog means love

“Ate Magda! Totoo ba?” Is it true?

“Jowa mo galing Spain?” Your boyfriend is from Spain? 

Magda almost died laughing as she FaceTimed her cousins, who were certainly supposed to be asleep at this time. The Philippines was seven hours ahead, and with her cousins being awake at two in the morning, she could assume that they had a holiday. Everybody always sleeps in if it’s a long weekend or a national holiday. 

But she hadn’t expected their night to be spent gossiping about Magdalena’s boyfriend, Carlos. 

“Niño, bakit ‘di mo gamitin yang utak mo sa school kaysa sa jowa ko?” Why don’t you use your brain for school instead of my boyfriend? Magda huffed out her laugh, making her other cousin Paloma laugh next to Niño. Paloma’s laughter caught Magda off guard as she called out, “Oi, Lomi, don’t be laughing— ikaw ang nagpasimuno nito. Akala mo ‘di ko alam?” You started this. You think I didn’t know?

“Papa brought it up,” Paloma defended herself with a cry, “he kept calling you a national hero, and I had to ask why.” 

“Ano ba naman ‘yan,” what the hell. Magdalena cried out as her head slumped against the couch, raising it to look at her cousins on the screen, “Tell your papa to keep his mouth shut. I love Tito Gerry— I do, but he needs to stop making jokes about that.” 

“—About what?” Magda seemed to be more drawn towards her uncle’s joke that she hadn’t heard her boyfriend enter her flat with a curious look. He had just arrived from Milton Keynes, and this was a surprise as he normally arrived later than this. 

Carlos had taken off his shoes and placed his bag down, walking around the couch to sit next to Magda as he pecked her lips. “Hello, cariño. How was your day?” 

“Hm, good! I’ve finished my paper,” Magda grinned. 

They were so caught up with each other that the only thing they heard was gagging from the phone that the Filipino woman held. Magda and Carlos peered down on the screen as they watched the two teens exaggerate at the sight of the couple being too sweet for each other. 

“Reparations,” Paloma gagged jokingly, “but at what cost?” 

“Matulog na nga kayo!” Go to sleep! Magda exclaimed.

“Okay po, master,” Niño rolled his eyes before waving at the camera, “nice meeting you, Carlitos!” 

"You're Niño, right?" Carlos grinned as he kept his face in front of the camera before waving, "Nice meeting you too!"

“Yeah! Buenas noches, Don Carlos!” Good night, sir Carlos! Paloma giggled, the other side of the call abruptly ending before Magda could berate the pair even further.

She sighed heavily and tossed her phone aside, giving her boyfriend a look of despair as he giggled at her. 

“What did they mean by reparations?” He asked her, genuinely curious at what they were joking about. 

How was she going to explain it to him? Did they even teach at Spanish schools about their country’s history of colonialism? Magda didn’t have an answer to that. 

“Oh, just you know…” She mumbled, “Filipinos were originally Spanish people living in the Philippines. Apparently, dating you made us a deadly combination. Enemies to lovers, or whatever trope that is.”

“Reparations? Oh… OH!” Carlos exclaimed in realization, earning a nod from his girlfriend as he murmured, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah, I understand now, mi corazon.” 

“Irog,” Carlos said aloud, making Magda hum in a questioning tone. “Irog, bébé.”

“What’s that, bé?” Magda asked mindlessly as she stared at the screen of her computer. 

Carlos turned his head in her direction as he said, “I don’t know. You’re the one who speaks the language.” 

She paused from doing her work, looking up at him before she pondered the first word he brought up. Then she let out an ‘ah’ before nodding. 

“So…? What does that mean?” Carlos asked. One year of relationship and his thirst for knowledge was an obvious factor that came with it.

“It means mahal,” Magda answered, remembering the word. She continued to read Filipino literature as she grew, not wanting to stay away from it regardless of the fact that she spent her last school years in a British school. She asked her mother questions whenever she didn’t have a single clue what a word meant, so this was a helpful thing to do, especially now that Carlos continued to ask her to teach him how to speak her language. 

“Mahal, like expensive?” Carlos asked for clarification. 

Magda shook her head, “No, not that mahal. Like mahal— you, mahal.” 

“Oh,” Carlos let out before he reiterated what she said, “mahal, like love?” 

“Yes, mahal,” she snickered quietly, calling him by the term of endearment. “Like love.” 

“So irog means love?” 

“Yes, bébé. Irog means love.”

iii. 2018 — patata, patatas. what’s the difference? 

“Oh! Hey, Mr. Alonso, you’re here just in time,” Magdalena grinned. The older man, who just arrived, shot her a confused look as she stood there with her lips spread out to a grin.

“Magda, hija, call me Fernando. It’s also nine in the morning,” Fernando Alonso sighed quietly, his hand running through his face as he looked back at the girl in the white McLaren shirt. “I think it’s too early for your optimism.” 

“You’re right,” Magda’s shoulders slumped, and her smile fell, her face showing nothing but defeat as she walked towards the Spaniard, “but don’t let my sadness get in the way of your duties today. My supervisor said that you have to do your filming for the next two videos of the channel— and you cannot, I mean CANNOT, back out this time.” 

“I can’t,” Fernando smirked playfully, “or can I?” 

“Mr. Alonso, with all due respect,” Magda sighed heavily, “I started this year. And if you continue to ditch your duties because I cannot convince you enough then I’m going to have to leave not of my own will. I did not last four years at the university just so I can have a manchild act so sassily at the person who’s merely trying her best, so please—“

“Calmaté, Magdalena. Are you okay?” Calm down. Fernando asked, reiterating his question and emphasizing the word you. 

Magda had anything but an answer; her lips pursed as she shook her head. “Can I… shit. Sorry, can I be excused for a moment? It's been a morning for me.” 

“Take all the time you need, querida,” Fernando told her with a smile, patting her on the shoulder as she gave him a grateful look before she walked out of the McLaren garage with a heave of sigh. 

Fernando Alonso pursed his lips as he caught sight of the young British reserved driver, calling him with a whistle as Lando Norris looked in his direction with a questioning expression.

“Norris, you know Carlos Sainz, yes?” Fernando asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Lando replied with a nod. “He’s a friend of mine.”

“Do me a favour, if you don’t mind,” Fernando requested, “will you please tell him Magdalena’s on break?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Lando obliged before his curiosity got the best of him as he asked, “Is she alright?” 

“I think McLaren broke her.”

“Leche,” she swore quietly as she stood behind the McLaren motorhome. Thankfully, nobody else was there to witness her on the verge of breaking down. Otherwise, that would have been embarrassing. 

She had a bad habit of pleasing people. Living in the Philippines, with her mother working overseas and her biological father being a dickhead fuck knew where Magdalena grew up wanting to appease her friends and family. Her immediate family cared very little about the achievements she reached — they were proud, sure, but how she got there was beyond what they wanted for her.

Some kids who grew up in a Filipino household aimed to please, and Magda wasn’t an exception to that. She, however, did more than what she should have been doing. All thanks to the father she had never interacted with before or ever.

Much like now. She aimed to please. Maybe that was why she got to this predicament now; crouching with her head down as she tried to keep her composure. 

She knew that everyone would kill to be in her place— working for a racing team. But for some reason, her urge to please was replaced by her fear of discomfort and disappointment. Being in a relationship with a Formula One driver taught her a lot about the sport, and she landed herself a job in a team based in England.

Being able to travel with him was a plus, but she felt that she had disappointed him. She didn’t feel as good as he told her she would when she first announced McLaren’s offer to hire her for the season. 

Was this what most Formula One wives and partners felt? Or have they embraced that lifestyle long before the drivers became so popular? She wouldn’t make a good girlfriend for everyone should they find out that she had nothing but anxiety in her system as she graced the grid with her presence. 

She was a disappointment of a Carlos Sainz fan.

His cologne lingered in the air as she witnessed him crouch down in her level, his fingers pulling her hair tie off her head, letting her long dark brown hair fall as she smiled grimly. 

He was in his Renault fireproof, his race suit hanging off his waist. He made things more angelic than normal, and she loved him so much for it. His lips pursed as his fingers continued to massage her scalp. 

“Few more months, mi vida,” Carlos murmured, his soothing voice making her feel at home. “You’re doing so good for them. Don’t let them say otherwise.” 

Sure, she could be at the hotel with Ben&Ben blasting on her phone and her figure crying in the bathtub. She could be falling into the deepest depth of her sadness, but with Carlos ditching his team before the free practice — she would rather be here than be in their shared hotel room. 

“Now c’mon, mi corazon,” he pulled her up, “I’ve managed to get my manager to come drop off some pancit to the motorhome from the hospitality.”

“Pancit?” 

“Malabon,” Carlos beamed at her, pressing his lips to her forehead. “One of the caterers gladly took my request to have some pancit malabon at the menu. It took them a couple of weeks until they finally got tired of my constant asking.”

“Hm, you’re the best, my love,” Magda told him lovingly. “Though, I prefer palabok, remember?” 

“Eh,” Carlos paused, “patata, patatas. What’s the difference? Pancit is pancit, mi amor.”

iv. 2019 — magda, maldita 

“Carlos, bebe, mahal kita. Mahal kita sobra.” I love you. I love you so much. Magda sighed as she glanced over the notepad that her fiancé left on the end table of the side of her bed— their brainstorming notepad. “But do you really want to get married in a church? In the Philippines while you’re at it?” 

“It’s an idea, mi amor,” Carlos said while he continued to do whatever he was doing in the bathroom, making her listen from the bed as he spoke, “Just how bad is it?” 

“It’s nothing bad,” Magda said quietly, “it’s just something that I wouldn’t personally do. There is a lot of paperwork to do when getting married in a church. Did you know that? Not only that, but we’d have to attend seminars about family planning— which is not right up my alley, seeing as my mother is an unmarried single mother.” 

“Paperwork is what you are worried about?” 

“Why can’t we just elope instead? My Lola grandmother and Lolo grandfather did that, and look— they have my mom, my tito uncle and tita aunt,” she suggested out of the blue. 

“And risk getting killed by either of our mothers?” Carlos scoffed, “I think we should stick to the church idea, yes, mi amor?” 

“Did you not hear the story of my grandparents, love?” Magda asked him, thankful that he couldn’t see the baffled look on her face. 

“More than I can count, mi corazon,” Carlos answered, “they ran away from home, didn’t they? Got married and had your Tia Maria, then your Mama after? They eloped because they weren’t close with their families— but we’re both very close to ours. We can’t do what your grandparents did.” 

She sighed. He wasn’t even wrong. 

The Spaniard walked out of the bathroom, his face now clean-shaven as he sat next to his fiancée. “Look, we don’t have to do the church thing. It was just an idea, hm? I know you don’t want to get married in the Philippines either, so that’s alright. We’ll just send your cousins, your aunt and uncle to wherever we’re going, then we’ll get married. Don’t worry too much.” 

“‘M sorry,” Magda murmured, her fingers fidgeting with the gold engagement ring as she continued, “I’m a killjoy.” 

“No, you’re not,” Carlos huffed out and clasped his hand with her left hand, “you’re the bride. The bride is more than permitted to weigh out the options. If you don’t want the Philippines, that’s okay.

“Truthfully, I just want to marry you,” Carlos murmured as he pulled her closer, “if we didn’t have such scary mothers, I would’ve already married you. You and your YouTube channel.” 

Magda’s chuckle vibrated in his chest as she perched on his lap, “I don’t even know if that will even work out.” 

“I am sure the wedding plans will. If it doesn’t, our marriage certainly will work out for you and your channel.”

“You are a dickhead, mahal.” “I can’t speak the truth now?” 

“There was no need to bring up the channel, dumbass.”

“Mabuti nalang may passport yung mga pinsan mo,” It’s a good thing that your cousins have passports. Alma San Pedro, Magdalena’s mother, brought up as she sat across the aforementioned woman.

Magda skimmed through the spreadsheet laid out on her laptop’s screen, keeping her eyes on the things Carlos typed out on the guest list as he actively listed who’s responsible for the catering.

Alma continued to speak, “Why didn’t you want to get married in the Philippines? You’ve always wanted to get married in the Tayabas basilica— I could have had your Tita Marie look into it.”

“That was mainly because I thought you got married there,” Magda glanced at her mother before leaving a comment on the name that Carlos had just typed down on the guest list sheet.

“Lando Norris” — Magda San Pedro (monamagsp) commented: “He finally RSVP’d?”

Carlos Sainz (carlossz) replied: “Yes. He said he forgot to do it, but I managed to get him to fill it.”

He was still at Monaco for the race, but between the busy days of partying and racing he decided to abandon his friends and stayed at the hotel to plan his wedding with Magda instead. “Besides, Ma, the wedding’s in two months. Travelling is also time-consuming for most of us.”

“You’re so picky, anak,” child. Alma replied with a playful scoff.

“And you’re not married, Mama,” Magda shot back with the same amount of humour in her tone. “People complain about both, but we can’t find ourselves to care, hm?”

“Hay nako, Ramona Magdalena,” Alma rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. A rhetorical question escaped her mouth, “Bakit ka kaya maldita?” Why are you so cheeky/sassy? 

Mona shrugged, “Tita Maria didn’t take any shit from my private school teachers, Ma. She’s the one who took care of me while you worked here, remember? Go figures.”

“I can’t believe you’ve invited me to the wedding,” Lando’s eyes glimmered under the warm light of the ballroom hall as he excitedly spoke to Magda. “I know we didn’t speak as much last year, but the fact that you allowed Carlos to invite me? I’m so grateful, mate.”

Magdalena San Pedro— or wait, Magdalena Sainz stood across from the British man with a grin as she tucked her hands into her pockets (she had pockets on her wedding dress that she began to think that God was treating her right today).

The San Pedro-Sainz wedding ceremony took place in the Westin Palace of Madrid. With the hopes of celebrating the love that they shared for years, Carlos and Magdalena managed to get through the hour-long ceremony without a fuss. The romantic venue created an environment full of celebration while keeping it as intimate and private as it could be for their guests and themselves.

Carlos had already made his name known to the Formula One world, his talent being recognized by every fan as the season went on. But nobody knew who Magdalena was to him, and he intended to keep it that way — thus prompting him to keep his marriage a piece of confidential information. Everyone behind the scenes knew he was in a relationship, and with the hopes that he’d get even more popular, PR relationships were introduced and tossed in his way. 

None of the women he was put in the spotlight with ever lasted, and he was slowly earning the title of a Casanova. He didn’t care; he was just doing his duty and driving his car around the tracks while he worried about his partner, who now worked for a designing company based in London— where they both lived. Nobody else in the grid nor anyone in the motorsport community knew who he was romantically involved with. 

Magdalena was another story. She only began to record some videos about her lifestyle as she continued to work for some local designing firm, telling whoever was watching her videos about what she knew about this field of work or what kind of food she’d eat on certain occasions.

She wasn’t as popular as him, but she continued to keep his identity a secret. She lived an average life and she was quite content with it. She’d rather post a video of herself fucking around, but they’ve made a choice to stay private for as long as they could. 

Now Lando Norris was known to be a blabbermouth, but Magdalena had grown quite fond of him when he was still a reserved driver for McLaren as she worked as a PR coordinator for the team. They rarely spoke, sure, but she was certain that she could trust him with anything and he wouldn’t blab about it. Carlos was also friends with Lando, and they continued to be close friends, so Magda never protested against Carlos’ idea of inviting the younger man to the wedding. 

Lando then said, “I find it quite enjoyable— your wedding, I mean. It’s clearly not as big as I would have expected because well… Carlos told me that Filipino weddings are often big, but I love it! I’ve learned more about your wedding traditions than I have in sixth form about geography.”

“Gah, don’t even say that,” Magda rolled her eyes, earning a giggle from Lando as the woman continued, “It’s barely there, I think. We tried not to pour our hearts out into what they would normally practice in the Philippines or here in Spain. Some Filipino things are here — the food, my dress and my family — but it’s just something superficial, you know?” 

“It’s not even just the wedding that taught me a lot!” Lando exclaimed as he laughed, “Your cousins, Lomi, Niño and Lucia? Yeah, I sat with them during the whole ceremony so they kept telling me about wedding traditions and some superstitions: like how you shouldn’t have any relative marry at the same time as you because it’s cursed.” 

“Really? I’m surprised they haven’t said anything mundane,” Magda saw Lando nod at her statement.

“They also started to say that you took one for the team—“ Lando’s forehead creased as he said, “I asked them what they meant by that, then they only said you’re heroic.” 

“Diyos ko.” My god. Magda scoffed. Her cousins spelled nothing but trouble and god did she despise them at times. 

“What? What did that mean, Mags?” Lando asked.

Magda sighed exasperatedly, and with a defeated tone, she answered, “Making up for the challenge we’ve lost, apparently.” 

“Huh?” 

“It’s— just ask Carlitos,” Magda waved off, “I’ve had to explain the concept of colonialism to too many people before. I think it’s time Carlos did it for me.”

v. 2024 — paninindigan kita (stand by you)

Mamahalin kita buong-buo. I will love you completely.

“So, tell us about yourself.”

“I’m Carlos Sainz— or wait, do you want me to speak Tagalog?” The Ferrari driver asked as he stood in front of the camera, his linen shirt in the view of the lens as he waited to be instructed.

“Directing this music video is the dumbest idea I could’ve ever made,” Magda deadpanned from behind the camera as the videography crew laughed alongside the band members, her voice being picked up by the microphone easily.

Their Philippines trip, which they should’ve made a while ago, was something of an experience for the couple.

It was the first time they’d been seen in public— with everyone finding out about their marriage after Carlos’ Instagram story slip-up when he accidentally posted a photo of Magdalena’s selfie that she sent when she travelled to the country long before this. 

It really was an accident if you were to ask him. But it was something inevitable, and all Magda could do was laugh and make her presence known not only to her fans but to those who were more than interested to know about her. His fans. 

Now, they were in an Airbnb somewhere in the Quezon Province as they filmed some form of documentary. It was meant to be a storytelling music video about their relationship and the romance that came with it, but after seeing Carlos’ script reading at the Shell commercial, Magda practically banned him from acting.

She was a popular content creator in the Philippines regardless of her living situation; she lived in Madrid with her husband for almost five years. And with her popularity in the Philippines came acquaintances who were more than willing to collaborate with her. The folk-pop band called Ben&Ben asked if she was more than willing to shoot a music video with them. Direct it, even. 

The song they released practically spoke about her life with Carlos. At first, she didn’t think too much of the lyrics and just enjoyed the rhythm of the song, then she realized how similar it was to their relationship, from the courtship (and her outward refusal to continue this romance with him at the very beginning) to their vows to love each other as they grow old, and decided that perhaps it was time to show to the world how they truly love each other. 

Carlos agreed, knowing that outside of his life as a Ferrari driver and a Formula One figure, he had nothing else in life but her and her alone. He knew that she was the one thing that he kept from everyone to provide security for his wife. He waited patiently for her — and it was now paying off. Now, he was standing in front of a camera, waiting to be filmed for his interview. 

It was better than the countless documentaries and the Netflix series that he had to do interviews and filming duties for. Because this time, he got to discuss his wife, Magdalena Sainz, instead of his car. 

“Can I speak Tagalog?” Carlos repeated, his typical confused expression being displayed before the others.

Magda shook her head, “You’ll butcher it, Carlitos.”

“Excuse me, Ramona,” Carlos gasped in mock offence. “I can speak it!” 

“Clearly not good enough,” Magda shot back, making the others laugh at the banter between the pair. 

“Your Español isn’t any better then, mi vida,” Carlos scoffed, placing his hand on his chest. 

Magda said, “There’s a reason why I only listen to you and your family when you speak, honey.” 

“This is what I have to deal with every day, by the way,” Carlos pointed out to their audience, making the others burst out laughing as he offered his wife a playful glare. 

One of the videographers spoke before Magda could make a comeback, “Wait, the camera’s still on.”

“Oh shit,” Carlos and Magda both swore before they both laughed. Their banter was caught on camera and they were laughing about it.

It took them good ten seconds to return to their composure as the camera stopped recording. 

Magda cleared her throat, clapping her hands as the camera began recording, and she instructed her husband, “Carlos, we can both speak English— it’s fine. Just speak in English, alright?” 

“Okay, fine,” Carlos rolled his eyes and muttered, “mi esposa. Muy quisquilloso.” My wife. So picky. The microphone attached to his shirt picked up on his comment.

“This is so going to the music video,” one of the band members giggled. 

Magda then continued with the recording segment as she spoke to her husband while she stood behind the camera, “Alright, please state your name and how long you have been with your partner?” 

Carlos nodded and beamed slightly as he stared back at Magda, who was smiling as she expected his answer. With a cheerful tone, he said, “My name is Carlos Sainz. I have been with my wife, Magdalena San Pedro Sainz, for seven years and three months and have been married to her for four years and six months.” 

“What prompted you to stand by her?” Magda asked as she continued to beam at him, not even noticing the heart eyes of the other people in the room. 

Eight years and still extremely in love. 

He answered, “Her determination, wits and her ability to stand by me no matter what kind of disaster came and went made me realize that falling in love with her was worth the effort to make.”

It was no wonder people thought their relationship had nothing to do with two worlds colliding.

Even with their constant light bickering, Magdalena and Carlos Sainz learned how to love each other through words — whether it was their native languages or their secondary ones. What mattered was that they understood the meaning of their love, regardless of what kind of language they had to translate it to.

fin.

[yujeong]

Okk. I don't want to compare or anything but I don't get the people who's getting mad on Korn Tonkla scenes saying they had more screen time? Or shit. I mean tbh, I am understanding the plot of the series better because of the two of them because they are somehow related to all of the events. And Tonkla's situation is...... he somehow senses the other timeline which I think is an important role. And also, Korn! Like what you've said he knows Dome is dead, and at the same time he's with his brother who ’saved’ Dome. Both of the characters are pivotal in the series.

Also, I think that they are more talked about because a Bas and Fuaiz couple was not expected in the series, and at the same time their plot line is really good as well as the build up of their characters. And I've seen more & more people are falling in love with Fuaiz & Bas (as an actor) in this series.

But somehow, I get them because the main couple is GreatTyme but why does it feel like they are becoming more of a side couple. Also saw people saying that their ’plot line’ or how they were introduced to eo /wasn't it./

Thank you for giving me the incentive to speak about this issue, anon. I'm going to do it now because the new episode will come out in a few hours and hopefully I won't have to do this ever again - which I honestly doubt but anyway. Since I haven't seen this type of discourse pop up on Tumblr (thank GOD), I'd like to inform everyone that over on Twitter, there have been massive complaints about Tonkla, aka Fuaiz, getting more screentime than the main characters, aka JesBible, to the point of people tagging BOC in posts and demanding they give them more scenes with TymeGreat - as if BOC can just pull footage they haven't filmed out of their ass or something. It got so bad that Sammon herself saw them and AGREED with these people, further explaining how it was important for some plot elements to be explored now, in order for the rest of the series to make sense. Now, with all due respect to her position as a screenwriter: she's factually wrong here. Someone on Twitter actually sat down and counted the minutes each character is on screen and came out with these results:

It's not in English, but I believe the results are clear: Tonkla doesn't even come close to Great's screentime. He's a little closer to Tyme's, but the main character is Great, so he's the one we should be looking at. Also, in case it hasn't been fucking obvious, Tonkla is an essential character in 4 Minutes, which is why we're getting many scenes with him. The reason I mentioned the actors is pretty self-explanatory - people are mad their favourite actors are shown a specific amount of time, giving space to other plot lines and characters, instead of being there for the whole episode, as if the point of 4 Minutes is the romance between Tyme and Great and nothing else. Meanwhile, Bible himself was laughing and clapping and enjoying the flashback scene between Korn and Tonkla when they had their first time, because Bible wanted to be part of a good production, which he is and he recognizes it. But no, God forbid we get more context over KornTonkla, which is one of the most important relationships in the show, which guides Tonkla's actions, which moves the fucking PLOT of the SHOW. I could give the benefit of the doubt to people being upset Tonkla was shown for not even half of episode 4, but I won't, and the reason for that is because I'm sick and fucking tired of people getting their panties in a twist because a character who loves getting fucked is actually getting fucked in almost every episode. Good for him honestly, even if it's making him worse. (I've already ranted about this whole thing here, I'm not going to repeat myself) I don't know how your social media feeds are like anon, but mine are flooded with BibleJes + GreatTyme content and I rarely see anything about KornTonkla or Bas and Fuaiz or anything of the sort, so I can't agree with you that they're more talked about than the main actors/characters. (That's not the case on Tumblr though: I have a very varied feed + my lovely anon asks which give me the chance to talk about my boys and I'm thankful for that.) And I'm sorry, anon, but I'm going to have to disagree with you in the end: Great and Tyme do NOT feel like the side couple at all. They are and they feel very much like the main couple and they've had multiple scenes together in every single episode so far (at the hospital, in Great's garage, at the park, at the university, at the arcade, inside Great's car, at the rooftop of the hospital, at the warehouse, inside the tent etc). We've gotten plenty of fucking content for them AND also BOC has made sure to give Bible and Jes the chance to do a million interviews together + magazine photoshoots, with only half of the show being done, so fans have zero fucking reason to complain about anything. That's all. Rant over.