#i have a fucking ba in english

[hiimawarish]

Also, after today's episode we're bound to have the godforsaken argument again about whether or not hating Mahito is justified, and I'm gonna give my two cents because I think people forget about this most of the time.

Yes, Mahito is an amazing villain. Yes, his sole purpose is to be disgusting and murdering people, killing Nanami, and everything else he ever did is because of his role as a villain. Yes, you cannot expect a villain to have compassion or make an exception for your favorites.

However, you are also allowed to fucking hate villains because, guess what?, that's also their fucking purpose. People hating a character, even more when it's a villain, doesn't mean that the character is poorly built or that the character in general is just plain bad. As a villain, it just means that he actually played his role well.

So yeah. You don't hate Mahito? Good for you, but let's not berate people who do because it makes no sense.

[ms-demeanor]

begging my brain to let me finish this last fucking final so i can have a full ten days to chill before summer term starts

[strawberryrhubarbs]

not barnes and noble rejecting me a 3rd time for an entry level position 😭😭

[reki-of-the-valley]

That moment when you open Facebook for the first time in over a year because you couldn't remember when your sister got married and are hit in the face with the fact that most of your department has graduated and have their degree

[caricature-of-a-witch]

do you ever just have to do homework that is a straight up insult to your intelligence as well as that of even the most stupid of your classmates

- there are harder exercises in high school English classes (this is the highest "language competency" class this course of study has, you have to go through like 5 others first that this one hypothetically builds onto)

- we have to do these exercises in a separate document and upload them. the answer key is included in the document I took these pictures of

- I promise we have all noticed the answers at the bottom. at least make it so we can just copy and paste them to save ourselves the time and effort of typing it all up

*stares despairingy at this pointless document fit for high schoolers* I have written a BA thesis

[dean-winchesters-clit]

I need y'all to understand how fucking important it is that their lovemaking song was La Vie En Rose.

Those translated covers you hear on TikTok take their lyrics from a Louis Armstrong cover of the original French version sung by Edith Piaf. The English lyrics are beautiful but there are some things lost in translation, which is why I love that they had Izzy sing the original French version while Stede and Ed are making love.

Edith Piaf's version of the song is all about the intensity of love and finding love after a trying time. Her vocals are incredible and bleed all the different emotions she feels while singing. Izzy starts with the English translation of the song, which goes:

But a closer translation to the original French would be:

"Quand il me prend dans ses bras; When he takes me into his arms/ Il me parle l'a tout bas; He speaks to me softly/ Je vois la vie en rose; And I see life through rose-colored glasses."

Obviously this is fine and dandy, but it's the translation of the original French lyrics used later in the episode that really get me. Izzy sings this:

Which translates to this:

"He speaks words of love to me/ They are every day words/ And they do something to me.

"He has entered into my heart/ A bit of happiness/ That I know the cause of.

"It's only him for me/ And me for him, for life/ He told me, he swore to me, for life."

It's that last verse that the English version just wouldn't be able to capture. The translated version of that verse is about angels and love songs and mentions nothing of a vow to love one another for life.

That's what's so special to me about the French version of the song being used in that moment. Edith Piaf sings as a person who has lived through so much pain and suffering (which she definitely did as a French woman living through World War II) and finally finds comfort and peace in the arms of her beloved.

That is ultimately what Ed and Stede are for one another. Safe harbors, calm waters, peaceful days and nights in each other's presence. They bicker and argue and hurt one another, but they always come back together so easily. Stede was hurt and needed reassurance, needed to prove to himself that he wasn't a whim, needed to feel the security of Ed in his arms. And perhaps they shouldn't have gone all the way that night, but they're both impulsive and obsessed with each other and they needed something.

It's that song that lets me know they're gonna be okay. They're intense and impulsive but they compliment each other. They fit together perfectly, and they find comfort in one another no matter what's happened to them in the past. They need their harbors, their anchors, each other. They'd never leave each other behind. They make each other's lives la vie en rose.

(Edit: fixed a translation error)

[sachermorte]

so the thing about english is that people think it's so divorced from other germanic languages based on like. words. I've even heard people try to insist that english is a romance language. because of that whole messy business in 1066 with out-of-wedlock willy and his band of naughty normans. and now a good chunk of the vocabulary is french or whatever and they're prestigious so not using them makes you sound like a rube and this and that and the other

and yes william the conqueror will never be safe from me. I will have my revenge on him. he fucked up a perfectly good germanic language is what he did. this will be me in hell

but the thing is that most words in, say, german do have a one to one english equivalent. not all hope is lost, for those who still dare to see it. it's just that you 1066pilled normancels aren't looking in the right place

dog (en) ≠ der Hund (de) but der Hund (de) -> hound (en)

look with your special eyes. that one was easier. not all of them are this intuitive because of semantic narrowing and broadening and waltzing and hokey-pokeying and whatever else. I'll give you a few more

animal (en) ≠ das Tier (de)

aha! you think. I've got him on the ropes now.

but then

das Tier (de) -> deer (en)

nooooo!! you whine and cry in gay baby jail. the consonants are different!!! listen to me. listen, I say, putting both my hands on your shoulder. /t/and /d/ are the same sound. you just put your voice behind one of them.

nooooooooo!! you wail. deer are animals but not all animals are deer!!! listen to me. LISTEN. they used to be. animals used to be deer. that's just what we called them. it was a long time ago. it was a weird time in all our lives. it's okay.

let's try for a verb this time

to die (en) ≠ sterben (de) but sterben (de) -> to starve

same principle with the consonants, we're just changing a stop (where we completely stop the airflow and then let it through) for a fricative (where we still let some air go through. idk where it's going. maybe to its job or something.)

to starve used to mean generally to die, not just to die of malnourishment. we do that a lot. we take one word for a lot of things and make it mean one thing. or take one word for one thing and make it mean a lot of things. this is common and normal.

"okay but roland," you say, suddenly coming up with an argument. "what about tree? trees are super common. I don't think we'd fuck around too much with that. the german word is baum! what about THAT?"

"when did you learn german?" I ask, but then decide it isn't relevant right at this very moment. but fine.

tree (en) ≠ der Baum (de) but der Baum (de) -> beam (en)

beam??? you ask incredulously. beam???? BEAM?????? you continue with the same tone and cadence of captain holt from brooklyn 99.

yes. beam. like the evil beams from my eye I'm going to hit you with if you don't stop shouting.

but the vowels!!! you howl.

listen. listen to me. the vowels mean nothing. absolutely nothing. they're fluid like water. it got raised in english.

"WHAT DOES RAISED MEAN"

it doesn't matter right now. they were raised better than you, at least. stop shouting. open your eyes and see what god has given you. they're the same word.

"they're NOT the same word. they mean different things!"

we've been over this. they didn't used to. a beam was (and is) a long solid piece of wood. much like the long solid piece of wood I showed your mother last night.

FAQ:

Q: could english be some kind of germanic-romance hybrid?

A: do you become a sexy thing from the black lagoon just because you dressed up as one for halloween? english may have gotten a lot of vocabulary from norman french, but its history and syntax are distinctly germanic. that's what we base these things on.

Q: okay but what does it matter? this doesn't actually affect my day to day life

A: you come into my house? you come into my house, the house of an autistic man living in vienna austria and studying english linguistics and you ask me what does it matter? sit back down. I was going to let you go but now I have powerpoints to show you

Q: you're stupid and wrong and gay and a bad person

A: I know it's you, Willy

[mbsneur]

Casual Sex

Misa Rodriguez x Reader

Summary: You met Misa because of Jenni. You have casual sex very often but you don't feel good anymore?

Warnings: Smut,Sub!reader,oral,fingering, names like „Amore“ and „good girl“

WC: 1304

please read this text before going to the story please don't be so strict with me but rather write to me what I can do better or what you wished were different. also tell me if you find the story too long or too short.. Also write to me if you liked it. My requests are always open (and English is not my first language so don't be mad at me) and if you have any ideas for the future about who I should write please tell me… the topics I will choose by myself unless you have a request for one or two people I will Read everything.. in the next survey I will take a few ideas from the old survey and new ones…. now read and I hope you like it <33

Real Madrid lost the El Clásico against rivals Barça as so often again Misa stood in front of your door frustrated and angry and fucked you in every direction

You have been friends with Jenni since childhood and last month she took you to a party where there were several Spanish people and where you also met Misa

even after 6 orgasms she was still lying between your legs your whole body was weak and shaking you saw Misas Strong arms around your thighs to keep them apart. She kissed the inside of your thighs and you saw her sweaty hair sticking to her forehead. With every kiss, your legs twitched and Misa had a smug smile in return

you are still dripping from your previous orgasm misa gets higher and higher with her mouth and licks a large stripe from your hole to your clit your legs close and you twitch you try to push misa away but she squeezes tightly around your thighs holding you in place "Misa I can't take another one, I can't feel my legs anymore"

"psht amore you can, I know you can, don't you want to be my good girl?"

„yeah mi-„

"So you see, you're going to take what I give you mh"

misa's head returns to your core she places soft kisses on your clit making you cry out misa starts sucking and brings one of her fingers to your hole and circles it gently your hips rock into her mouth and you whimper "baby please don't tease" Misa smiles and inserts a finger inside you. You start to get louder and louder and Misa hits all the right spots inside you. She curls her fingers and sucks on your clit. You breathe quickly and your pelvis rises Misa squeezes your stomach with her other hand to keep you in place. You get louder "fuck misa right there" you moan and your eyes roll into your head sweat forms on your chest and you get closer to where misa wants you "Will you cum for me pretty girl?" She asks and now pumps two fingers into your dripping hole. You can hear how wet you are "baby you are going to make me cum I want to cum on your fingers like a good girl please misa" you literally screamed misa now started sucking your clit harder and your legs started shaking you scream and cum all over misa's face your Legs close around her head and she helps you through your orgasm. She only removes her fingers when she is sure you have survived it

Misa moves away from you and comes up to you. She gently kisses your shoulder and whispers in your ear "I knew you could, my good girl" then she gets up, takes her things and starts to get dressed. You don't feel good about the fact that Misa always just comes to you to fuck you and then leaves again as if nothing had ever happened. You felt like that like an object for her you watch her, with every step her stomach tenses she renews her bun and looks for her sports bra in the room "do you want to go already Misa?" you ask her, she has found her sports bra and while she is putting on her clothes she looks at you briefly. You are lying there with your head leaning on your arm, watching the sweaty Misa. "Yes, I'm going, I'm tired. I'll call you when I see you again or I need it or i just come here" she says without batting an eyelash and sternly as if she's paying you to sleep with her somehow it's not what you want from Misa "I thought we'd take a shower together or eat together, I can make you tapas You always like them so much when I make them," you say quietly and you're embarrassed to ask "I don't have time for that, no, I'll take a shower at home." She puts on her shoes and is kind of rushed. She takes the rest of her things with her With a "see you" she slams the door and leaves you naked and tired from sex

You pull yourself together and take a hot bath. You don't really know what to think about it or what you feel or whether you want to talk to Misa about it. You don't want it to be over either because Misa actually has so much love and care in her You have often noticed when you were sick and she came here and brought you things to help you get better or she invited you to her games or went to one with you. You never talked about love, it was always just friendship and sex. casual sex.

Misa has become different. She doesn't take you anywhere anymore or is caring towards you. She only comes here to have sex with you and then leaves again. u want to feel Misa differently. u want to feel her love?

The next day

You were at work like every day. Misa wrote to you early in the morning asking if she could come over later. She misses your taste, You knew she had training. You had ignored her message through the day to do your work. You arrived home around 4pm You bought groceries and were about to put them away. You took a quick shower and sat on the couch without saying a word to Misa or answering her all day. Around 10pm a loud knock on your door broke you out of your drowsy mood

You rub your eyes and actually wanted to ignore it until there was another knock, with a loud sigh You got up and ran to the door and opened it. Who else should be standing there but Misa. She greeted you with a smile and without you being able to ask her go come in or you could close the door, her lips were against your neck "mis-" “Amore why don’t you answer me all day” she whispers between kisses against your skin "misa stop" You push her away and she looks at you confusingly, raising her arms to the height of her chest "Que pasa y/n" You sigh and close your arms in front of you. You swallow "Misa I feel like an object for you where is the Misa who goes out with me invites me to matches or holds me in her arms I feel like a woman you pay" Misa's gaze softens and she can hear the frustration in your voice "I thought I didn't want that- I thought we were just people who had casual sex. I never wanted to hurt you. Did you fall in love with me?" she says stuttering You look at her and say nothing. You don't want to answer because you don't know the answer

oh wow i hope you like it, tell me your opinion

thank you <3

[whillywisp]

Seeing a lot of talks about finnick as a dad/doting husband during pregnancy on the fyp and I must contribute to the conversation 🌱 (warnings: it's long and so fluffy you're gonna die). Part 1.

Part 2 ☁︎

The thing about Finnick is that he has a lot of love to give to anyone who would take it. His heart is overflowing with it, shining cerulean with it. So of course fatherhood came to him as easily as breathing—

Wrong. Have you seen that walking talking ball of anxiety, love and autism?

The day you tell him you're pregnant he passes the fuck out. On the floor. And when he wakes up he cries for an hour straight, thanking you enough times with kisses pressed into every inch of your skin he could reach that the words don't even sound like English anymore. He's so grateful, so fucking grateful and terrified but above all, completely and irrevocably in love with you.

Throughout the pregnancy, he's as paranoid as it gets to the point you have to beg him to please leave you alone and no, Finnick the baby won't be hurt if i eat too fast please breathe and let me breathe but it's all from a place of love. He's lost too much, almost everything in his life. The few people he could still keep were precious to him and he was not going to let any of them forget that least of all his babies. Or baby.

Finnick talks to the baby a lot. Asking the most bizarre question to your bump as if he actually expected a tiny, baby's voice to answer him. He was constantly on about something new and his favourite topic to talk about was whatever his new hyperfixation was and you just nodded and smiled because of course the baby wants to know how to do an alpine stitch! But it was so endearing and relieving to see him finally be happy, finally find a purpose, even if it was to just talk nonstop to your belly. He deserves this, these little pockets of happiness.

And one of his greatest happiness was taking care of you. Circling back to the fact that he starts hyperventilating when his lover so much as sneezes too hard, the hellscape that was pregnancy scared him. No, fuck it, it terrified him. So he did what he always did and loved to do and banned you from anything and everything that needed physical exertion. Chores of any kind were out of order. You were on a healthy diet of four meals a day and of course they included all your cravings that he always presented to you no questions asked thank you very much and you had to take naps, multiple of them, all with his presence as a requirement (you were sure those were just an excuse to cuddle you but you would rather take up another round of hunger games than call him out on it). He attended every appointment, had an alarm set for all the prenatal meds, and always a kiss for the belly and your lips just so you knew that this was it for him. You and your baby were the very centre of his universe and this was him orbiting you both. And you couldn't help but be grateful that you had him to love and cherish just as he did you.

And your favourite way of telling him you loved him was letting him take control over the one thing you knew he loved: baby shopping. With all due respect, this is the type of guy who bought baby shoes when he was eighteen with no baby in sight because look at how tiny this is it's so cute *big sparkly green eyes.* But it's particularly endearing watching him waltz around the store, arms full of onesies and plushies and you kind of just stand there, unable to do anything because what the fuck were you supposed to do at nine months pregnant and married to a man who you *checks notes* gifted a day where he could buy anything he wanted as a birthday present?

I promise you the answer was not 'go into an early labour the second he dumped the shopping bags in the living room' but who am I to say anything?

The baby coming two whole weeks early did not sit well with his anxiety. He was a mess, a complete and utter mess but he was also the most precious angel on this planet so seeing him holding back tears of fear so he could be there for you and hold you tight, so tight, because he was scared he would lose you broke your heart too. While the pain of the labour was bad, knowing he was close, holding you tight as he pressed gentle kisses everywhere, to cater to everything you needed, was enough to realise, he was the one. And you were going to fight through hell for him.

Such a wretched thing, love, you thought to yourself as you felt him shake beside you through the pain and haze, to ask you to hope against hope that the strain on your strength and your fading string of fate would persevere despite it all.

But you did. You survived and so did your precious little baby girl, and so did the last pieces of Finnick's soul, despite it all.

The first time he holds his tiny, tiny baby in his arms, something in his brain just clicks (or maybe his frontal lobe was finally fully developed because of course his baby picked the day before his birthday to make her own entry on planet earth) but whatever it was, it was perfect. His entire world narrowed down to the squirming little angel in his arms and he couldn't help but feel his heart leave his chest for the second time in his life to become hers. She fit right into the crook of his arms, the space in his neck. She fit into his life like another piece of puzzle that he never knew he was look for.

She was his little angel, his little girl. The person he never knew he fought through whole wars for but now, holding her against his chest as he watched you both sleep, he knew this is what he was meant to do. To love, to love, to love. For the sake of it. Simply because he could. Simply because he was alive and it was good enough reason to love with his entire being.

Part 1 because I don't exactly know if you people will like it enough to want more.

[daydreamer-in-training]

The cave

Penguin x f!reader

Description: You are the new crewmate on the Tang, separated from the rest of the Heart-Pirates and stuck in a cave with Penguin, you get the chance to get to know each other more; Penguin opens up about his past; realization of feelings; Reader is implied to have had a difficult past

✨Inspired by, and a precursor to this gorgeous fic by @fanaticsnail, strongly suggest on reading that as well!

Word Count: 4.300+

Imagesource

Notes: First fic i am uploading on this account! <3 And what better chance to dedicate my first upload to @/fanaticsnail for her birthday. That was yesterday and i missed finishing this fic at said day by 20 Minutes. Its not a fanfic about Heat or your gorgeous OC Tobiuo, but i hope you‘ll enjoy this anyways Snail! ;-; I probably would have never done this without you! <3

Please note that English is not my first language and i am very tired while uploading this :D Enjoy everyone✨

Spoiler Warning: for the non-canon events of the novel, which contains the story of how Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin met. I haven't read it myself, so i‘m basing this off of the fandom-wiki article and i‘m mixing my own interpetation with it

TW: the word fuck, bit violence and blood in Penguins backstory, so its canon-typical violence i guess

„I think she doesn‘t really like me, Shach.“ Penguin let out a frustrated groan as he couldn't play a card in the game he and his best friend were playing.

„Well, if you think that, because she's stubborn as hell and can‘t accept any help, I suppose you're right,“ the redhead said nonchalantly and played another card „She must hate us all then“.

„Shame, she's really something…“ Peng murmured more to himself, more concentrated on the game than on what he was saying. He pulled another card from the deck. Shachi raised an eyebrow at that, his grin bared some of his sharp teeth.

„Give it some time“, both of them looked up as they heard Law's voice, he was leaning on a yellow wall of the Polar Tang next to them, arms crossed in his usual stoic manner. He must have overheard them talking. „She's only been here for a handful of days, “ he thought about what he said next for a moment „And it's not easy to like you two from the start, you know? I‘m talking from experience here!“ the dry humour in his voice was evident, but he got the Middle finger from his best friends for that comment anyways. He chuckled lowly at that and pushed himself from the wall. „Seriously… it wasn‘t easy for her, at least what she told me about. But I think she fits in here very well, so give it some time.“

The two men's obscured eyes met for a moment, and they nodded, „Aye Cap!“They both saluted him half ironically with a grin, and he left with a satisfied look on his face.

„So… she's really something huh?“ Shachi teased and played another card that earned him the win to this round. Peng groaned again and rolled his eyes.

~

„It's nothing, really!“ you protested, hiding the limb as best as you could „It barely even hurts!“. But Penguin could see how your eyebrows furrowed in pain just a little bit. He grabbed your forearm gently to make you stand still. You looked back at him annoyed. “What!?“

„Sit down, before you make it worse.“, he gently pulled at your arm, agitated by your stubbornness and worried that you got hurt for him. „We don‘t know where we are going or where the others are anyways“ he added in an untypically stern way as you didn‘t move a bit to sit down.

You and Penguin were separated from the rest of the crew by an attack by the residence of the island you made landfall on earlier that day. They don‘t seem too keen on having pirates around and made that known quite quickly. As you were all exploring the nearby area, the cliff you were walking on got hit by a large missile.

You were talking to Bepo about the map you had acquired when the explosion hit the rocks and made the earth underneath you shake. Suddenly the view around you was obscured by thick smoke. You could barely make out the large boulders that fell down from the cliff above you. One is directly falling towards Penguin and Shachi, who were standing closest to you.

Instinctively you did the only thing you could think of and tackled Penguin out of the way. You felt a sharp pain in your ankle! Disoriented, he let out a scream of surprise as you two tumbled down the cliffside. Luckily it wasn‘t too steep. Nevertheless, you two rolled for a good couple of moments before coming to a halt in a bush at the base of the cliff. Penguin managed to grab you and hold you close to him, all while protecting your head with his large hand while you two were falling.

A moment passed between you two in which you stared into his obscured eyes.„Fine“ you pouted, sitting down on a rock nearby. „We should call the others“ you suggested tiredly, roaming around in your bag “I have the Den-Den here somewhere…“

Penguin used your distractedness to crouch down in front of you and take a sneaky look at your ankle. He wanted to grab your boot gently as you pulled it away. „I`ve already told you, it's not-“ You regretted that motion instantly, yelping as a sharp pain shot through your whole leg. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you looked away from his face, pouting.

„Nothing huh?! Just let me take a look, aye?!“, he looked up at you, his eyes covered by his hat but his mouth twisted into an annoyed grimace. He knew you hated getting help from others anyway, he figured that much out since you joined the heart-pirates a few weeks ago. Being vulnerable and all that wasn`t easy either when everyone was still a stranger to you, he understood that.

You opened your mouth to protest him, but he wasn`t having any of it. „No! No arguing anymore“, frustrated by your stubbornness, he took off his hat and threw it to the ground in front of him to blow off some steam. „I`m a trained medic, you know?! It's not just Law that knows these things!“

It was always just Law-this and Law-that with you. You obviously admired their captain, but somewhere deep down, it knawed at Penguin.

“Just let me help you“, his eyes were displaying the full dimensions of his emotions right now. Annoyed and tired and most of all worried, he looked up at you, his eyebrows meeting in the centre of his forehead in a silent plea. „Please trust me!“.

You let out a quiet little gasp, taken aback by Penguins' actions just now. It wasn`t his outburst that made your thoughts come to a halt, no. It was his eyes.

Those shining light blue eyes were like arctic ice, swimming in the ocean. They contrasted beautifully with his dark hair. You didn't expect him to have such beautiful eyes, so full of emotions. Is that why he was wearing the hat all the time? Because otherwise, everyone around him could bear witness to his emotions all the time.

You were transfixed, staring down at him with round eyes, your standoffishness had left your body completely, leaving you speechless.

His gaze softened at that. How cute! „You are part of the crew now. The heart pirates take care of each other, promise“, he assured you, his voice much softer now. You gave him a nod to confirm that he was allowed to take your boot off now, still unable to say a word.

You were watching his nimble fingers gently unlace the boot, trying not to inflict too much unnecessary pain. „S´might hurt a little…“ he warned you, so you could brace yourself as he took off the boot. You clamped our eyes together but remained brave, bearing the sting that came with the loss of the shoe. You immediately feel more vulnerable, now that the bootshaft wasn't there to stabilize your ankle anymore.

You winced as you saw how blue it already was, it didn't look like it was part of your body anymore. „Oh damn, it's super swollen“, he looked at it with a curious fascination only a medic could display, chuckling a bit. The dark-haired man immediately grabbed his bag and took out a medical kit and looked through it. „Be right back“, he murmured as he stood up to search for something.

You wordlessly watched him take off and rummage around on the ground nearby while taking his famed hat from the ground in your lap, to brush off the dust gently. A happy „aha!“ in the near distance signalled that he had found what he was looking for, running back to you with a spring in his step. You gulped back the lump that formed in your throat while watching him take care of your injury so intently, still patting his hat gently. He didn't even notice that you had picked it up as he came back, to focus on his task of bandaging you up.

„I will make you a temporary brace, s`alright?“ he presented the two twigs to you that he had found and resumed taking out bandages and tape. „This will keep you stable until we can put you back together properly on the Tang.“ he assured you while gently taping the sticks to your skin to hold them in place while he bandaged your ankle.

Your fingers gently graced the pompom on his hat to keep you occupied. “I trust in your skills Penguin, I`m sorry… I didn't mean…“ Your voice shook a bit as you held back a tear. You were in pain and very tired. And on top of that, it was new to you that someone else took care of you in this way.

Peng's head snapped up at the tone of your voice, his heart skipped a beat as he saw your sad expression. His gaze flickered for a moment. Then he gently grabbed the hat he just now realized you had in your lap and put it back on his head, his stunning eyes now hidden again. As he took it, your fingers gently grazed his, sending electricity through his body. In that moment he was glad his gaze was hidden by the fabric again, or it would give his tender feelings away immediately.

„Well,“ he chuckled to lighten the mood „I might have to amputate the leg still! Looks reaaal bad y´know?!“ now he was the teasing, old Peng you`ve come to know. While he resumed bandaging you up, making sure it was snuck against your skin, he continued his musings „We`ll make you a neat wooden leg, then, aye?“ the suggestion making you chuckle „But You`ll have to wear the heart pirates jolly roger on it! Cap will make you! But don't worry, I will paint it onto the wood myself, promise!“ his bright grin was infectious and you found yourself in a much better mood now.

He looked up at you, proudly presenting his finished handiwork on your ankle. It felt much more stable now. The corners of your mouth twitched a little as you looked down at the goofy man grinning up at you. You couldn't help your lips turn into a smile. „Thanks, Peng…“ you whispered.

A raindrop landed on your nose, and then another on Penguin's head. „Oh no“, you said in unison while looking up at the grey clouds shrouding the sky. „I saw a cave over there, let's get shelter there!“ he suggested and stood up, holding his hand out to you. You nodded and took it to stand up carefully. After a bit more bickering and you refusing to lean on him or be carried by him, you two made it over to the cave, right when it started pouring buckets.

„Guess we should stay the night, it's late anyway.“, his casual suggestion made you go stiff. Stay the night with him in a cave? Alone?! „W-we could try to call the others, “ you said instead of agreeing „Maybe they are close and we can return to the Tang“. But as you took out the tiny Den-Den Bepo gave you earlier, you found it to be broken. Unfaced by your fruitless attempt to avoid this, Penguin turned around and scanned the cave for anything dangerous as well as a good place to make a little fire with the branches he picked up on their way here. The sun was starting to set and it was already dark in the cave as it was.

„Sit down and relax. I‘ll prepare a fire.“ he gave you a tired look that left no room for argument. You furrowed your brows and opened your mouth but closed it again immediately. You were exhausted and a stinging pain reminded you of your injury. „Okay…“ you murmured in defeat and sat down at a spot Penguin deemed worthy for your „relaxation“.

You slowly lowered yourself and stretched out your insured leg while he built a little firepit nearby. You grabbed the bag you had with you and searched through it for the little food you had on you. That must do for the night. He was starting to be satisfied with the way the fire looked, which would keep you cosy for a good while.

Mesmerized and tired you stared into the flames that were starting to grow bigger and lighter. Then, out of the corner of your eyes, you noticed him standing up and pulling down his Boilersuit from his Torso.

„O-Oi, what do you think you‘re doing?“

He looked down at you and grinned mischievously “What? Does me undressing you make you that nervous?“ the low tone he used to tease you with made your heartbeat go a little faster. He dared to make eye contact with you as he slowly pulled the fabric from his arms. You tried to remain unfazed by his provocation, keeping a stoic face. But your gaze flickered over the defined muscles of his arm and torso that were now only clad by a black tank top. „As if!“ you quickly tore your gaze off of him and pouted, your face hot. But your bashfulness wasn't lost on him as he tied the upper half of his boiler suit around his waist. „Relax… I‘m just a bit warm from the fire s‘ all“ he chuckled and crouched down again to stoke the fire a bit more.

From the corners of your eye, you checked if he was still looking at you, and when he wasn‘t, you allowed yourself another good look at him. It was strangely intimate seeing him without his usual attire. It never occurred to you before that underneath the Boilersuit was the body of a… well a strong and trained fighter, which was honestly a bit idiotic of you, since he was one of Law's most capable fighters. As you slowly trailed the muscles of his arm with your eyes, you stopped at a huge scar that seemed to stretch around the main part of his forearm like a bracelet. It looked like he almost lost his arm at one point. Your blood froze in your veins at the thought.

As he softly called your name, you snapped out of your ogling, a bit anxious he caught you. „Look…“ he said breathlessly, his eyes flickered around the cave. You followed them and gasped as well. The cave walls were littered with shimmering purple crystal clusters of all sizes, and the big stones on the ground as well. Now that the soft light of the fire illuminated them, they sparkled and shimmered. It was as if you were surrounded by purple stars.

You barely noticed Penguin sitting down beside you, transfixed by this beauty. For a little while, you two were sitting shoulder to shoulder, admiring the Amethysts sparkling around you. „This is beautiful…“ you whispered, not wanting to destroy the comfortable silence between you two. „Yeah, beautiful indeed“, he whispered close to you. But his eyes weren't on the amethysts, they were on you.

His hunger made itself known then by a growling noise in his stomach, that made you snort. „I guess you're hungry?“ you grinned up at him and he nodded. You pulled out the little snacks you bought with you and handed them to him. „Here, eat that. Sorry it's not that much, but it's at least a little something.“ Penguin and you shared the small portion in comfortable silence. When you where finished, he stood up again to add some wood to the dying fire. You used that chance to examine the scar on his arm again, and this time you saw it was actually circling his whole forearm.

„Peng…your arm…was it…?“ the words tumbled out of your tired mouth before you knew it, but you managed to stop yourself before you asked the intrusive question. He followed your gaze down his arm to his scar and nodded in confirmation. „Yeah, it was torn off“. You gasped at this blunt answer, shocked by his casualness and the fact itself. „S-sorry…“, you cursed your stupid ankle for hurting so much, else you would pull your knees toward you and bury your face in them.

He sat down next to you, a gentle smile on his face. Nothing in his demeanour indicated that he was angry or uncomfortable with you. „I don't mind you asking…“ his fingertips graced instinctively over the scar tissue on his forearm, his days of feeling insecure about it were long over. You looked up at Penguin again, scanning his half-hidden face. You wished you could see his eyes just now, wondered what they would tell you about his feelings. The dim light of the dying fire painted his features in a soft and warm way. „How did you… how did it happen?“ your sleepiness gave your curiosity free rain. Your shoulders touched his as you leaned closer to him.

Your heart clenched at the thought of that. No kid deserved to experience this kind of stuff. „One day we met Law. We were little shits at that point. He confronted us for beating up Bepo before, we wanted to beat him up for that as well.“ Penguin laughed honestly at the memory. You looked up at him curiously. „And what happened? Did Law give you the scar?!“

He reassured you with a nod, his smile widening at the memory of the scar. "It's a scar that is very dear to me. It's how me and Shachi met Law and Bepo," his quiet confession hung softly in the air for a moment. "Wow, that was more than eleven years ago," he realized now. Your weight began to weigh on his shoulder, and he opened his arm invitingly. You looked up at him, confused and stubborn, but you gave in, blaming it on your tiredness and exhaustion. With a huff, you leaned against him as his arm wrapped around your shoulder. His touch was warm and comforting.

„My parents were killed in a storm when I was a young teenager… Shachi and I were sent to live with his aunt and uncle. They treated us like shit, those bastards.“ he spat those last words bitterly. He sighed and resumed „It was too much and we ran away and lived in a small shack in the forest. Swallow Island was fucking cold in the winter and we survived by stealing food and weapons from the nearby village.“

The dark-haired man looked down at you, his blue eyes shimmering mischievously under his hat. „Kinda yeah. He knocked us out with his devil-fruit power. But that wasn't the last time we saw him of course. And our bad luck did not end there either.“

Lost in his story, his fingers trailed small shapes on your arm, it made you shiver a bit. „A few days later, we were searching for berries in the forest when a wild Boar attacked us. We must have provoked it somehow… I was so scared.“ his arm around you tightened as he looked into the flames of the fire. „It gave Shachi a huge gash in his stomach, the white snow was red all around us. I tried throwing a bomb but I panicked and it blew off before I could and that damn boar tore off my arm, “

Penguin swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued. His fingers lazily went up and down your upper arm again. He remembered seeing his severed arm in the white snow, it felt so sureal to him back then. It still does. „And Law and Bepo.…they found us and treated us, even though we were compleat assholes to them! We would have died if it wasn't for them and a man named Wolf. Law managed to reattach my arm, he gave his everything.“

Your heart ached for Penguin. He went through so much, but at the same time, it made you feel less alone with your past experiences.

„Peng….“ you whispered into the silence that replaced his story. He looked at you wordlessly, and you couldn't make out much of his face, since the fire was now just gleaming ambers in the firepit. But being so close to him, you were able to look into his eyes again and you didn't need to see more, because they said enough. „Thanks for sharing that with me…“sleepiness laced your voice.

He slowly looked from one eye to the other, then to your lips, that were so close to his. “We should sleep now, we need rest, “ he said, damning himself a little. You closed your eyes and nodded. Sleep found you quickly as you leaned against his strong shoulders. He waited till your breath was even and he was sure you sleped. Even though you were stuck in a shit situation, he considered himself lucky right now. His lips lightly graced your temple „Good night…“.

~

The next morning you woke up still leaning against Penguins, his arm was a comforting weight around your shoulder. Aside from the pain in your ankle, you did sleep quite well. Peng was already awake for a little while before he felt you moving. To be honest, he didn't sleep much, and how could he when you were so close to him? „Good morning“ You didn't have to look at his face his wide grin was evident in his voice alone. You sat up slowly and nodded „Good morning…“ feeling a blush creep onto your face, you avoided eye contact. Before you had enough time to think about the situation you were in and your feelings about it, you heard your names outside the cave.

~

“Aaand?“ Shachi teased his best Friend, poking his elbow into the other ribcage „What happened in that cave?! You had the whole night to yourselves after all“, his voice was teasing and lighthearted, „Did you finally make a move? Is she a good kisser?“. „No!“ the red-haired man blinked in confusion at the sharp answer, it came out harsher than Peng intended. He looked away, pulling his hat further into his face to hide the intense blush on his face, „Sorry man…“ he murmured, „No…nothing of that sort has happened…“. He could feel his heartbeat quicken again, as he recounted the memory of your little cuddle session to Shachi. A reassuring hand landed on his broad shoulder and made him look at his best friend, who had a soft grin on his face. „Crushing hard?“. Peng let out a defeated groan, he would never hear the end of it now.

Your laughter echoed abroad the deck of the Polar Tang, making Shachi and Peng look towards you, talking to Hakugan and Bepo. And there it was again, that smile of yours that made Penguin's stomach burst with butterflies.

A dorky smile crept on Peng's lips, he shook his head at his friend's suggestion. „No Shach… not crushing“, he confessed as he leaned against the railing, turning his head to the sky, „She`s it, man.“ he turned his head to his friend, who had nothing teasing to say for a change, just listening intently. „I want her to be mine…forever…“. As he said it out loud, he turned the amethyst geode he took from the cave with him in his pocket.

Shachis neutral expression twisted into a wicked grin, baring his sharp teeth. „I guess I have to step up my wingman game then! With your measly flirting skills, you wouldn`t have a chance without me!“, he teased and earned a light punch on the head from Penguin. „Shut up, you jerk!“ he shouted for everyone to hear.

You watched the dynamic- duo of the Polar-Tang bicker from afar, giggling at their antics. You were transfixed on Penguin, who had fun as he started to chase his friend across the deck playfully, cursing at him. Your heart swelled fondly at the tender moments you two had shared last night and you wondered if you would be able to stare into those beautiful eyes again soon.

✨

[sgiandubh]

Chère Madame Connasse/ Dear Mrs. Fuckwit

First of all, please excuse the length of this answer (you have also been blocked, incidentally speaking). This deserves its own audio. In French, since the French connection is so fucking tenuous:

Here is the English translation, since I am pretty sure Madame Connasse does not speak any French:

'Dear Mrs. Fuckwit,

Oh, well - how may I put it? I also find interesting that such an idiot would lose her time sending such enormous things to a page she hates and which, in return, cordially tells her to go fuck herself.

I usually am entitled to some pretty mighty garbage, but you do have enough vocabulary as to use words like 'hubristic' and 'vortex'. That makes you, by the way, very vulnerable and also more exposed than Uganda's current budget.

But why not you, after all, like so many others? The more, the merrier and you do write, not without some chutzpah, that my French connection is tenuous, as is my legal expertise and that I make you laugh, along with all the rest of the shipper community. Which, to be honest, is as untrue as possible. But it must be such a pain in the ass for you to see that people read me, that people like what I write and that, who knows, all those people (of which there are many), have a better day, in this bizarre environment.

I have already shown you some pictures of myself, including at official events. It was not enough.

I have already shown you my car, my office, my desk and my diplomatic passport. It was not enough.

With just one click you could have checked all the (very transparent) clues I have patiently scattered in my posts, in order for you to find me. Some did. They know perfectly well that you lie and you know it, too.

So, here's the deal, you stupid bitch: your cackle will turn sour when you'll see this very official paper:

This is just one of my law degrees - my Public Law BA at the Paris II University, in June 2001, as you can see by yourself. I have worked so hard and so passionately to get it, that I don't give a flying fuck about the fact that a nobody, and a coward to boot, doubts me. I have nothing to prove, nothing to demonstrate and I owe you nothing. However, sometimes one must set the record straight and I am a very impulsive person, after all.

I shall spare you all the rest, dear Mrs. Fuckwit. There is much more, but I am afraid your self esteem could never bear it. That being said, think twice, the next time you'd try to humiliate someone you do not know. Internet is so wonderfully sketchy that you never know (pinky promise: like never, ever know) to whom you're really talking. People lie very easily in here: I find this ridiculous and useless, in 2024, when one can find more or less everything about anyone. In no time at all, provided one knows exactly how to do it (between you and me, it's not even that complicated).

You and your posse of Pointless Underlings have insulted and intimidated dozens and dozens of people of our community, with an absolutely revolting ferocity. You have been doing it for years, with complete impunity and the strong belief that you were protected by a particularly perverted context, by some obscure agendas and by the indifference of the Two Main Characters. I am here to tell you I am not afraid and also that I couldn't care less about whatever you'd write or think. You will do it again, of course, because I think your obsessive universe is limited to the tiny window of your delusions.

But don't worry, dear Mrs. Fuckwit: until further notice, I shall make mine what a distant descendant of Irish Rebels, marshal of France Mac Mahon, said during the Crimea War - I am here and I am here to stay.

Also, you know: she who laughs last laughs the best.'

[iluvusukuna]

Yuji/sukuna x fem. Reader

Summary : you and your best friend Yuji need to work on a project together but Sukuna decides to take control and have some fun with you .

Cw: fem ! Reader. Charachter is a student at jujutsu high school. All characters are over 18!

A/n: English is not my first language so pls don’t be mean , if you find some incorrect things feel free to correct me;)

Warning : smut . Receiving Oral sex.

WC: 1.7k

🫧🎧: bathroom . Montell Fish

—————————————————————————-

You were walking to your dorm after classes when Yuji bumped into you with a big smile on his face . It wasn’t unusual to see Yuji so happy , but it made you furious sometimes. Was he really happy or did he just faked it . You were sure that it wasn’t easy for him to share his body with a curse . But he never complained. You both where really close it’s not like he didn’t tell you everything but he always tells you that he’s fine even though you say that you don’t believe him, he just changes the subject .

“Here!” He showed a strawberry milk in your hand even though you didn’t like it at all but it was he’s favorite so you drank it every time he gave it to you .

The last two weeks you avoided Yuji because Sukuna always makes and awkward comment about you and your body and it got out of hand the last time . But it seems like that Yuji doesn’t acknowledged it . Sometimes he acts as if he doesn't hear those comments, and other times he just makes fun of them, but the last time sukuna's comment about your short skirt was quite awkward for both of you, especially when he remarked that in such a short skirt he could easily slip a finger into your cunt or fuck you without anybody knowing . After this comment , the air was tick and embarrassing for both of you but you guys agreed to not talk about it ever .

Until your teacher assigned a partner project and Yuji was the first person to ask you too work together and how could you say no to this sweet boy , so you agreed hoping with everything in your body that Sukuna wouldn’t comment anything about you this time .

“So do you wanna work in mine or your dorm ?” Yuji asked still sipping his strawberry milk .

“Let’s do it in yours , your have more snacks and a better wifi too!” You looked at him and shook your head. “I’m hundred percent sure that the wifi is better there because you and Megumi are Gojo’s sensei favorite students , and he made something to make it better !

Yuji just laughed and talked about the things he and Megumi got away with because of Gojo sensei .

You both arrived at Yujis dorm , you took of your shoes and trowed your things onto the floor and laid down on his bed .

“To be honest I don’t have the will to do this project !” You sighed and looked at Yuji with pouting lips . “Let’s do it another time and just relax today , I’m too tired for anything .” You complained and got under his sheets . Yuji just laughed and sat next to you and pulled the sheets down from your body .

“Noo! Let me sleep!” But he didn’t stop you tried to get the blanket back, but he didn't give it so easily, he tore the blanket off your body and started to tickle you , and you burst out laughing. you tried to over come him and pushed him down on the bed. You where now on top of him your legs next to his hip but you two where to busy to acknowledge the awkward position you where in until you both heard an unpleasant voice .

“I’m sure this little brat enjoys your little cunt rubbing into his crotch!” You looked at Yuji his face reddens from sukunas comment and you back away from him . A mouth forms on yujis hand laughing and grinning at you .

“I hope I didn’t mess up y’all little game , but I could show you so much better and existing things !” Your face reddens even more after this but the mouth on yujis hand curls into a devilish grin .

“You should leave !” He stood up and opened his door . “Now!” He said it a little panicked this time . You locked confused but you stood up and walked to the door only to turn back because you left you phone on his bed . You grabbed your phone and walked out of the door when someone grabbed your arm.

“What….” Your blood drained from your body . Red eyes were looking back at you . Black tattoos covering Yujis body , sharp black nails digging into your skin .

“Hello little girl !” Sukuna grinned at you with his sharp white teeth .

“No…no! Let me go !” Your tried to get free from his grip but he was too strong for you . He closed the door with a loud bang and pushed you against it .

“Shh , relax little girl ! I’m not gonna hurt you unless you ask me too!” He stroked your face gently and then his hand glided lower, eventually stopping around your neck and wrapping it around you, squeezing it lightly, it didn’t hurt . It’s actually felt surprisingly good. You clenched your thighs together feeling your heat getting wetter and wetter . You hoped he didn’t notice anything of that but the smirk on his face told you otherwise.

“Looks like our little girl isn’t that innocent hmm?” He whispered and moved his hand lower on your body stopping at the zipper of your skirt . He slowly pulled the zipper down without taking his eyes of you . You didn’t stop him , you wanted him but you couldn’t. This new feeling held you captured and you just couldn’t. He pulled your skirt down leaving you only in your baby pink panties . It had a bow on it which caught Sukuna attention .

“Cute!” He noted . “But we don’t really need it do we ?” And with that he ripped your panties and trowed it behind his back . Your breath hitched in your throat , you chest moved up and down a little faster , you couldn’t decide it, was it because of fear or maybe something else?

You were pulled out from your thoughts when Sukuna’s fingers dipped into your slick . You let out a small whimper from the surprise of the contact but clapped a hand fast on your mouth .

“No , little girl let them hear you!” He grabbed both of your hands with his free hand and pulled them behind you making you arch you back.

“Tell me , has anyone touched you like this before ?” He asked dangerously close to your neck . You shook you head which made sukuna’s lips curl into a big smile .

“Hm that needs to stay this way because nobody should touch what’s mine understood ?” You nodded , which made him bite your neck .

“Words ! Use your words little girl !” He gave a little peck on the place he bit your neck and you whimpered an “yes I understand” out .

Sukuna smiled and let go of your hands and grabbed your hips . “You are such a good girl , and good girls get rewards isn’t that right ?” With that he led you to Yujis bed and pushed you down on it . Your tried to close your legs but he was faster and grabbed your ankles to open your legs even wider .

“Don’t try to ever hide yourself from me !” He commanded and with a small nod you relaxed your body .

Sukuna smirked and kneeled before you , he put his hands under your legs and pulled you closer , he was face to face with your cunt which made your face burn in heat .

“you should consider yourself lucky , because i never kneeled before anyone in my lifetime!” That was the last thing Sukuna said before connecting his tongue to your clit . Your arched your back and let your body fall down into the bed from the sudden and new felling . Your tried to push him away and close your legs but it only made him groan .

he circled your clit with his tongue, and collected your wetness and spread it everywhere. you were unable to say anything, only shameless whimpers left your lips which made him purr against your cunt .

“You taste amazing little girl , and your sweet moans . I can’t imagine why this brat never tasted your before !” This made your remember that this is Yujis body and you wanted to back away from Sukuna but he held you tight and he didn’t waste anytime , he dipped his tongue into your wet count which made you moan out loudly .

You knew that this was wrong and you should at least fight back , but this feeling was like a new drug to you , your where drunk from it and the only thing you could think of right now where sukuna’s tongue deep inside you cunt moving in and out with incredible speed.

“Suk..kuna!” You could feel it , you couldn’t describe the feeling but you knew you were close! “I’m so close please !” You begged but didn’t even know why .

“I know little girl , don’t hold yourself back and cum on me !” He said groaning against your heat .

That was the only thing you needed to hear, you arched your back and climaxed moaning his name in broken screams , your body shook from the orgasm Sukuna just gave you . He stood up and looked at your flushed face waiting for you to come down from your high.

After you relaxed you opened yours eyes . Two big red eyes were focused on you . You looked down on his lips , your eyes widened at the sight. Your cum dripping down from his chin his lips covered in your white slick .

You covered your head from the embarrassment but Sukuna just laughed and hovered over you grabbing your two hands pulling it over your head .

“We are not done little girl !” He said with an intense smile and moved his head closer to yours . His nose was touching yours . Now that you see him closer he’s absolutely beautiful. You knew what you wanted to do was wrong but you did it anyways . You closed the distance between you two and kissed him. He groaned from your boldness and deepened the kiss . You could taste your own wetness from his lips but you didn’t mind. After he broke the kiss you locked at him with a flushed face and puffy lips . He pulled his finger around your lips and stuck his thumb into your mouth .

“Let’s make a better use from this mouth shall we ?” He smirked deviously

“W…what about Yuji ?” You asked him restless because this was still your best fiends body .

“That brat can wait . I’m sure he doesn’t mind if I have some fun with you right ?” He licked his lips and pulled you close to him kissing you again eagerly . It’s not like you had a chose in this but if you had, you probably couldn’t say no to the king of curses .

—————————————————————————-

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #218

Submission 696

Uncle Iroh absolutely fucks. He gets pussy. He's sexually active

1. Have you seen the way he interacts with similarly aged women? have you seen the way they respond? 2. the basket seller in Ba Sing Se (in the tale of iroh in tales of ba sing se) saw Iroh looking through the baskets and literally said "If this is for a romantic picnic, may I suggest this lavender one" like dude took one look at Iroh and was like this dude fucks

I was going to make a really good pun about Iroh and 'kettle', but I decided that's probably too niche, even for me. But if any of you happen to be English farmers from the 1600s, you would've loved it.

Anyway, propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[kairiscorner]

now what if

miguel x filipino reader (silly and soft hcs!!)

• he'd have little problems understanding you, same with miles, in the previous x filipino reader, he'd understand the shared words tagalog and spanish have.

• involuntarily, i think mans would full on speak spanish if he hears you use just enough shared words to get him expressing his thoughts in spanish.

• "beh, asan yung sapatos ko? hala ba't malapit sa bintana, okay, ah, bibili ako ng leche flan, gusto mo ba?"

• "oh, claro, seguro que me gustaría un poco."

• "ano, ah, okay"

• you two would kinda just get by picking up random tidbits of spanish and tagalog, BUT YOU CANNOT DENY THAT YOU FALL APART WHEN HE SPEAKS SPANISH; HIS VOICE >>>>>>

• he'd also fear the slipper.

• you joke that if another spider person came crawling to you, crying because he yelled at them, you threatened to throw your own slippers in his face; you refused to let him just get angry whenever things didn't go his way.

• "isa pa, sinasabi ko talaga sayo, TSITSINELASIN KITA SA MUKHA, WAG MO KONG SUBUKAN"

• "PLEASE, I'M SORRY, PUT THE DAMN SLIPPER DOWN, QUERIDA"

• he got less angry at the spider people when you threatened him, he became more patient and understanding because of your guidance, too.

• you taught him to use "po" and "opo" when addressing his elders, especially towards your parents when he met them. he was initially confused as to why you used it on him when you two were practically the same age, but when you explained it was just your habit, he didn't ask anymore. in fact, he kinda found it endearing.

• when he learned how "ate" (ah-teh) and "kuya" were used, he called you that for a while until you told him you didn't want him to call you that and just refer to you by name.

• "ate/kuya, what's the update?", "ate/kuya, your report?", "ate/kuya, i want some, what was it? ah, ate/kuya, i want some tinapay (bread)"

• but when he learned about filipino pet names......... he used them TO THE MAX.

• he calls you, "mahal", "beh", and the..... "bebe labs" (cries) he used the "bebe labs" one because you kept using it for him.

• "bebe labs, what's for dinner?" now that was the first and last time he ever called you that. yes, lyla and you have a recording of that, it's your ringtone.

• your song with him is "panalangin" by apo hiking society, change my mind.

• he doesn't seem too interested in teleseryes, what with his hardass and stern look, but when he caught you watching one at home at night when he came back, he found himself sitting down with you and making commentary about the antagonistic bitches and how it'd be so satisfying for them to receive karma, tearing about a character's death, and clicking his tongue as he says, "i fucking knew they were gonna cheat/weren't dead/that character was the parent"

• he'd make an effort to learn tagalog and/or your local dialect for you, especially if you were more fluent in that than in english. he also wanted you to feel that he valued your culture and your roots, just as much as he valued his own.

• HE LOVES THE CHICKENJOY IN JOLLIBEE 🫂🫂🫂

• if you two ever got into an argument, he'd buy you jollibee as an apology and say he was really sorry and that the whole argument was stupid, he shouldn't have said/done what he said or did.

• MIGGY IN A BARONG TAGALOG >>>>>>

• he blushes when you call him "guapo/gwapo", you do it all the time :> he calls you "maganda" and "mahal ko" regardless of your gender <333

[wonderland-smile-stories]

~ Chapter 1. 01 ~

I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes and how poorly written this fanfic is. English is not my first language and together with my dyslexia ass things can go wrong I'm sorry.

With a loud sigh, I open the door slowly hoping nobody would notice me. There were some voices in the living room and upstairs, but they seemed too busy to hear me entering.

Slipping off my shoes I held my stomach trying to ease the pain when I bent forwards. The beating from the previous night was still hurting as bad as when I received them. It also didn't help that I was pushed into the lockers about ten times today.

With slow steps, I began to make my way to the stairs. If I am lucky I can avoid everyone today and get a good night's sleep. My foot had just stepped on the first step of the stairs when I someone clear they were through. I close my eyes taking a deep breath.

"Mi-na. Where do you think you're going?" The sharp raspy voice spoke from behind me.

I turn around gripping tightly on the strap of my backpack that was hanging on my right shoulder.

"I was going to bed," I answered hoping she would be tired and just let it go.

While Taking a drag of her cigarette, her eyes scan me up and down before she blows out the smoke to speak. "Where have you been? It's eight a clock at night."

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I had a chance to speak she was already talking.

"Are you doing something behind my back again? I hope I won't get child services again at my door. I don't need to remind you what happened when they were gone." I swallow thickly grabbing my left arm while rubbing on the scars that were left to remind me.

"N....n..no. I....I was just."

"Just what huh? Speak up or you are spending your night in the shed."

The shed is a cold dark and nasty place. It's where you get sent if you so-called misbehave. You never know when you're allowed to get out or if even a day when by. It's just you in the darkness.

"I had to go to the pharmacy," I mumble looking down at my feet.

A scoff could be heard throughout the room before her shrill voice spoke again.

"Pharmacy? For what huh? Last time I checked you weren't sick."

I look up trying to steady my breath.

"M..my wou-"

"Stop mumbling! You know I hate when someone mumbles!" She yelled stepping closer to me.

"My wounds. They were getting infected. If I didn't threaten them it would get worse and had to go to the hospital. I thought it would be better to threaten them now before people would see it." I explain hoping she would just let me off by yelling at me.

For a few seconds, she looked at me before a stinging hit my cheek making my head turn to the side.

"Don't explain yourself as if you did something good! You wouldn't have those wounds in the first place if you hadn't disobeyed me!"

With heavy breaths, I look at her while holding my burning cheek.

"What money did you use to buy that shit." She asked calmly, too calmly.

"The money I got from my job," I mutter out.

Before I could brace myself she grabbed my hair pulling me closer to her.

"You stole from me?! You know that that money belongs to me!" Her face was so closed that I was getting dizzy from the smell of cigarettes coming from her mouth.

"I'm s..so....ry!" I cry out holding my hair where she was pulling on.

"Sorry? Sorry?! What the fuck does your 'sorry' do me?! Huh?" With every word her grip tightened on my hair, making tears appear in my eyes.

"I give you a place to live and this is how you repay me! Stealing and lying!"

With big force, she pulled me to the ground landing hard on my already bruised knees.

"It's like you're asking to get punished!"

Without any warning, she slammed her foot on my left hand. A loud cry escaped my mouth, but I quickly shut it hoping nobody else would hear it. I don't want the others to come down and help her.

"I....I'm sorry I'll pay it ba.." My voice was interrupted when she twisted her shoe on my hand while putting more pressure on it.

"Without a doubt! I don't care how you do it, I just want my fucking money!" With one last twist, she steps off my hand.

I cradle it against my chest feeling how it was throbbing from the pain. I swear I could feel something broken in it when I ran my finger over it.

"Get out of my eyes before I put you in the shed!" I nodded my head quickly standing up.

I watch as she walks back to the living room making sure she is completely gone before going upstairs. With the back of my other hand, I wipe the tears that had escaped my eyes.

Every day is the same.

Even if I do everything she wants she still finds a way to punish me.

With a deep sigh, I enter my room closing the door behind me. At least I didn't see the other kids. They love to watch or even help with her. Even in school, I can't escape. They just continue what they started at home there.

Walking to my bed I turn on the bedside lamp making it less dark in my room. It wasn't big and there wasn't much in it, but at least I was alone. I put my bag to the side before taking off my hoodie and shirt underneath it. I had just pulled my jeans down when I heard a crack in the floor behind me.

Quickly I turned around and came face to face with Drew. There was a cocky smirk on his face while looking me up and down. Quickly I grabbed my hoodie and threw it over my head hoping it would cover most of my body.

"Don't stop because of me. There is nothing I haven't seen before." I bite the inside of my cheek shaking my head at him.

"What are doing in my room, Drew? It has already been a long day and I really want to go to bed."

A part of me knew why he was here. While the other part hoped he was just here to annoy me. But seeing that it was late at night only one thing came to my mind. I have told myself that I won't let him do this to me anymore. That I would fight harder until he was annoyed and just left me alone.

A chuckle left his lips before taking a step toward me. As I said it was a small room, and it didn't take him much to reach me.

"Just wanted to say hey. Besides I heard that you were in trouble again with Ms. Ward. You just can't help yourself, don't you, love?" He reaches out moving a strain of hair out of my face.

The moment his fingertips grazed my cheek I could feel a chill run up my spine.

"Don't touch me," I mutter out moving my face from his hands.

"Just get out of my room. Haven't you done enough today?" I breathe out tiredly.

With both his hands he grabbed my face pulling me completely against his body.

"What the?! I said le.." Before I could finish he had crashed his lips on mine.

I had to process for a second what was happening before I began to struggle to get away from him. I felt him bite my lip, but I firmly held my two lips together denying entrance. With one strong shove, I push him away from me taking a deep breath immediately afterward.

"What's wrong with you!?" I cough out wiping my lips.

"Can't you go to one of your side chicks? Why do you want me?!" I whispered trying not to let the others know what was happening here.

A laugh came out of his mouth before he moved back in front of me. I took a few steps back but was quickly met with the bed behind me. Almost falling backward on it.

"Nobody is like you, love. You're just so different than the others."

I shook my head.

"Just go," I whisper hoping he would listen to me.

The same annoying chuckle left his mouth before he gave me a shove. Quickly I fell backward on my bed hitting my head hard on the wall.

For a second I think had passed out, but was quickly back to the present, well half the present.

My sight was hazy and blurry like they had put a filter over my eyes. When I tried to move my head the room seemed to spin around me, making me close my eyes tightly trying not to get dizzy. Without noticing I fell back in the dark, but not before I felt a presence beside me.

I felt someone grabbing my legs and putting them on the bed slowly I opened my eyes and saw someone sitting on the bed beside me slowly rubbing my bare leg. Goosebumps ran through my body making me want to pull away, but it was like my body wasn't listening. There was a voice, but it was muffled like I was in the water.

I think I passed out again because the next time I woke up I could feel coldness over my whole body. Slowly I looked down and saw that my hoodie was gone. I wanted to panic and run away, but everything was still blurry around me. A dark figure hovered above me before a hand touched my cheek and some words came out of its mouth that I couldn't understand.

When I woke up again I could feel something sitting between my legs. Still, with blurry vision, I looked down and saw what I thought was Drew. I watched as he moved his hands from my leg to my stomach stopping just underneath my bra. I shook my head and I could hear myself say a weak 'no', but that didn't stop him one bit.

I felt him put his two hands beside my face before leaning down and whispering.

"Don't worry love, I'll let you enjoy it too." before kissing my earlobe up until my cheek before crashing his lips on me. I tried to move away, squirming away from his touch and trying to push him away, but he didn't budge with my weak attempt.

Suddenly I felt myself sinking deeper into my mattress, before being fully in it and the touch of Drew faded away. The material of the mattress disappeared underneath my back and before I knew it I began to fall. My body felt like I was a doll that was tossed to the side of the room when a child was done playing with it.

Nothing worked not even my own voice.

I was ready to hit the ground and welcome the darkness of death, but when my back finally met the ground I only felt pain shoot through my body.

For a few seconds, I just lay there thinking I would probably pass out, but then I began to notice something.

It was so silent.

All the noise from the people in the house, Drew, or even the noises from outside my room was completely gone. I felt my fingers twitch from beside me slowly feeling the ground around me. I only felt cold concrete. Finally, I could open my eyes and was met with a dark room.

Is this the afterlife?

Am I in hell for all the shitty things I had done in life? The cold on my body was completely gone which made me look down. Somehow my clothes were back on. Maybe I am really dead.

"Don't worry you're still alive. For now." A voice spoke from somewhere in the dark and followed with a dark snickering.

I quickly sat up noticing that my wounds and pain were gone.

"You know you can still accept me. It's never too late to be the thing always wanted to be." The voice was so familiar to me, but I could place a face with it.

I began to turn around trying to see where the person was, but there was nothing. When a laugh came from behind I turned around ready to run towards it when the ground underneath my feet crumbled away. With a yelp, I managed to grab onto the side of the hole.

I pulled my head above the edge leaning on my arms underneath my chin. Being hopeful that I could pull myself up a cry left my lips when something grabbed my leg pulling me down. Soon others follow making me almost lose my grip.

While struggling to get free of the hands I heard a laugh in front of me. Looking up I could see a person coming from out of the shadows. My eyes widened when I saw that they looked exactly like me. The only things that were different and stood out were the black eyes and the sinister smile.

"You know, I can help you if you want to."

My nails were digging into the ground trying to get a grip on something to hold me up, but I kept slipping away. Everything inside of me was screaming not to trust her. She squad down in front of me looking down at me with those abysses of eyes and a smile.

"Don't you want to be strong?" She mockingly said with a chuckle at the end.

By now I was holding on to the edge with just my fingers.

"Come take my hand. I'll help you." A part of me wanted to let go so that I would be away from her, but the other part wanted to reach out.

It was the part that was tired of fighting to survive.

I have been fighting my whole life, maybe this is a gift for everything that has happened.

With a shaky hand, I began to reach out toward the other me, but before I could brush my fingertips against hers a hand reached my shoulders yanking forcefully so that I let go of the edge.

For the second time, I was falling, but now everything was dark around me. I yelled loudly while the hands were still holding me, their grip getting harder and harder. One reached my throat and I could feel it begin to squeeze cutting off the air that was going into my body.

A loud banging began to sound around me getting louder and louder while the light from the hole got smaller and smaller.

Next chapter

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The first chapter is out! I haven’t figured out what the update schedule will be. It won’t be every day that’s something I’m sure about. I hope you like it. See you in the next chapter!

[olympeline]

Please somebody spare a crumb of kindness and ask me about my scotfruk omegaverse thoughts. I have so many Feelings about the potential dynamics between these three. They are some of my favourite guys to put in situations together. So I’m reworking one of my old posts with a new a/b/o twist:

Gimme a historical human AU where Alasdair, the alpha king of Scotland, was wed to the French prince Francis Bonnefoy to strengthen their nations’ alliance against the English. Everyone assumed Francis - graceful, pretty child he was - would present omega. He might even have been a borderline case who had a “false heat” or two after he hit puberty. So the two royal families were all: “Jackpot!” and married him to Alasdair as soon as they were both of age. Then, disaster! Turns out they’d jumped the gun in the worst way. Against all odds, Francis presented beta. Meaning there could be no children born of his and Alasdair’s union. Disaster for France, much worse disaster for Scotland, opposite of disaster and cause for much laughter, celebrating, and schadenfreude in England. Many jokes made and toasts drunk to royal couple “Alas, no heir” and Francis “Barrenfoy” in the lands Anglo.

Everyone tells Alasdair to set his “useless” husband aside. Annul their marriage and try again. But Alasdair has come to truly love Francis and he refuses. Their wooing was rough at first (ba-dum-tsh!) but opposites attract and they fell for each other in the end. Just in time for all hope to die that Francis could be an omega. Alasdair wouldn’t throw Francis away, though. Fiery, fiercely loving, stubborn man Alasdair is, even Francis himself couldn’t change his mind. Though Francis’s protests are, admittedly, halfhearted as hell. He’s come to love Alasdair just as much. He doesn’t want to lose him or the new life he’s built for himself in Scotland. The guillt still gnaws away at Francis, though. All kings needs progeny as a matter of urgency. If only he hadn’t presented beta. Then everything would be all right.

Meanwhile the English, once they got over their hangovers, decided to take advantage of their neighbour’s political woes and attack the Scottish borderlands. Their forces lead by one Arthur Bloody Kirkland: beta English prince, ready to kick some tartan on his father’s orders. The English aim to seize the lowlands but, unfortunately for them, Alasdair and Francis aren’t so distracted that they’ve forgetten how to fight. It turns into a Battle of Bannockburn style Scottish victory and not only is the English army sent fleeing, but Arthur himself is captured. Though he at least manages to hide his identity and pretend to be an ordinary knight. Swapping armour with a dead comrade just before capture and letting the jubilant Scots believe they’d killed their enemy’s crown prince. The last thing Arthur wants is to be executed or used as a hostage so England is bankrupted getting him back. They’ve lost enough as is with his humiliating defeat. Arthur is taken back to Alasdair’s castle and made into a gift for Francis. Even after such a big victory, Alasdair can see his husband is still depressed and hopes having a sassenach slave to torment will cheer him up. Arthur gave Alasdair plenty of lip while being questioned and afterwards Alasdair decided a life spent on his knees (ahem) as a servant would be just what the doctor ordered for the proud, haughty Englishman.

Francis and Arthur are Francis and Arthur no matter what the universe and sparks fly right from the get-go. Francis does enjoy tormenting Arthur but Arthur gives as good as he gets and Francis…likes it? They both do, actually. Just staring across the room in a: “Grrr, I hate you so much but I want you inside me so badly you bastard fuck you!” way. More guilt for Francis because now he’s attracted to two men on top of everything else and only one of them is his spouse. Alasdair notices and is pissed as hell but then he also can’t help imagining that blonde on blonde Action and ffffuuuuck. He should just get rid of Arthur, who’s a terrible servant anyway, but ffffuuuuck. Seeing him on his knees is…ffffuuuuck. Also, much more importantly, having Arthur around to fight with has rallied Francis’s low spirits at last. So throwing their prisoner in the nearest loch is a big no-no. You played yourself, Alasdair. For Arthur’s part, he knows he should be trying to escape and not thinking so much about Auld Alliance double dickings but it’s like he’s losing his mind around them. Seriously, what is wrong with him? Why is he feeling this way for these sexy husbands he’s meant to hate and also it’s winter so why the fuck is he suddenly so hot all the time?! Scotland is meant to be cold but Arthur is stumbling around flushed and unsteady with a brain full of cotton as if he were drunk. This must be how omegas feel when their heats are close. But that’s not relevant to Arthur, who’s confident he’s 100% a beta and always has been. Which is fortunate because an omega can’t be king in England. Absolutely, totally against the law down there. So it’s a good thing that’s not what Arthur is. That he definitely isn’t one of the 0.01% of omegas who present late for Reasons no one understands yet because it’s the past and advanced medicine still involves covering people in leeches and yelling at stars. No, Arthur is just coming down with something. He definitely isn’t a late bloomer. Definitely. Definitely, definitely. Otherwise his already bad situation would be even worse! And even Arthur Bloody Kirkland isn’t that unlucky. Hahahaha haha…haha…ha

So that’s our pitch, folks! We have Alasdair: the alpha king trying to balance complex political realities with adoration for his spouse. Alongside Francis: the beta king consort torn apart by the guilt of being one of his beloved Alasdair’s Biggest Problems in a way he can’t fix. And finally Arthur: the captured beta (…) secret prince trying to find a way to escape back to his kingdom before anyone discovers his true identity. Oh the drama, oh the angst, oh the romance, oh the everything. Good God, please let me ramble on about these fictional men. I am Like This thinking about them: