#i hate this part of being alive.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Submitted Prompts #160
I was listening to that song "Space is Cool" that a fan made with Markiplier videos (what can I say, the music is really good).
And it reminded me of Danny, who's also so very in love with space.
And now I'm getting a clear mental picture of Danny full-on GUSHING about Space, in a sort of Outside POV thing.
Like, a Danny who's going to Uni in somewhere like Gotham or Star City, and got into the Astronomy club. And their "recruitment video" is just the cute freshman who adores space and will take any chance he gets to gush about it.
There's a lot of shots zoomed in on his pupils doing the cat thing of going from slits to big pools of black (like a black hole at the center of a galaxy) and his freckles start glowing in constellation patterns.
They go on an outing to the nearest Observatory, make it a sleepover thing, and sleepy Danny stretches and howls like a star, flops onto the nearest classmate and Club Member, and starts purring whenever they pet him.
He may be a meta, but they'll be damned if anyone blabbers to Batman about it.
Cue one Conner Kent coming to Gotham to tour their University, to pick where he wants to go when it's his turn next year, and find himself sitting next to Danny when he goes off on a rant about some deep space scans that caught images of Krypton before the explosion.
When asked about his opinion on the Supers, Danny, who's gotten so used to casual affections being directed towards him in the form of head scratches and hugs (they make Danny purr and light up in all kinds of patterns, so the club members do it as often as they can), pats him on the head and quietly praises Superboy for all the important work he does, and how his cloned little sister has always seen him as a mark that being a clone means nothing in the grand scheme of things, and it's who you are that counts.
Conner goes back to his parents in happy tears and with an invitation to attend Gotham U if he so chooses.
#dpxdc#bones submissions#i want an Older Danny who's so soft to the younger teen heroes#especially the ones with a darker past#he knows the struggle to make others see that you're better than what everyone thinks#Ellie melts back into her age in living yers and develops a puppy crush on Kon for being a clone and still being loved#time and therapy lead Clark to realize Superboy is an innocent kid who hasnt been alive for more than a handful of years#so they have one last screaming match#that ends with a 'i hate that i can't help but want you as my dad' 'i know. and im sorry. i want to prove to you that I can be better'#Lois made both of them go to therapy for their issues#Conner is divided between being a little in love with Danny#or afraid of introducing him to Tim and the others#joke's on him Tim is a part of the Astronomy Club#he orchestrated their meeting
513 notes
·
View notes
Text
disappointed but not surprised
#oh how i love being alive#oh how i love living in this part of the country#where i have to be scared walking around with pride pins or palestine pins on my bag#lovely here#german stuff#there's a documentary about a town a few minutes away from where I live about neo nazi hate crimes against literally anyone who's not a nazi#lmao its actually insane !!!!#yippeeee!!!!#afd
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
174 notes
·
View notes
Note
you are so lucky to not have watched s4-8
people always ask me 'katie why did you only watch half of voltron??' and i'm just like guys i thought we all agreed that voltron was not a very good show 💀
#so like why would i spend time watching something not very good LMAO#ask#anonymous#actually i was wrong i did watch season 4 and parts of season 5 and season 6#but i had to stop because the lotor plotline was pissing me off too much#if they had kept zarkon alive as the primary antagonist and made lotor a reluctant ally to the team then i would have liked that a lot more#but the whole... lotor becomes emperor and then voltron allies with the new galra empire plotline was just sooo bogus to me like#it was such a shallow way to resolve the voltron vs galra empire story#also i hated the plotline where keith leaves the team mainly because i think the bom are also very boring#i really do think the idea of allura and lotor being the inheritors of altean alchemy is a compelling idea but the way they executed it...#finally i strongly dislike all the random forced timeskips. it just felt like the writers would use a timeskip#whenever they wanted to force a plot development offscreen that they didn't want to devote time to in the story#at the end of the day idgaf about ships i care about the story and character arcs. and i liked nothing LOL
115 notes
·
View notes
Note
if we should protect children because they are vunerable, this means you would protect cruel children who bullies people who different than them then. the children who responsible to trauma for someone else's entire years
You're assuming that "protecting" children is the same as absolving them of responsibility and that's not what I said. All children are vulnerable, because all children are children; they don't come out of the womb with a perfectly working moral compass anymore than they come out of it waiting to hurt people--they're vulnerable because their understanding of the world is entirely at the mercy of what we, as adults, consistently tell them and show them. Children behaving cruelly aren't exempt from that--they learn that cruelty from somewhere, or someone. Your job, as the adult, is to make sure they understand that it's unacceptable so it will not happen again--but your job is also to ask why someone that young is behaving this way to begin with, so you can ensure they become better.
"Protecting" kids is not ignoring when they hurt or torment others, it's not refusing to teach them consequences or right from wrong, it's not "zero tolerance" policies in schools that treat a child being bullied and the child bullying them as equal instigators, and it's certainly not protecting them from recognizing, and atoning for, the pain they have caused someone else. You don't have to make peace with the now-adults who hurt you when you both were kids, but you cannot let the horrors of your own childhood impact how you treat or respond to the children living theirs around you right now, either.
You don't protect kids so they can get a free pass for bullying or tormenting another child. You protect them because kids are impulsive, emotionally reactive, and profoundly social (which means deeply impressionable) human beings who are still learning & processing insane amounts of information every day about what it means to be alive, to be alive as yourself, to be alive as yourself with other people. Protecting them is realising that you can't isolate the responsibility of a 10 year old from the bigger responsibility of the literal grown adults around them, adults who are in charge of teaching them about the world and how to behave in it. Whether you have children of your own in the future or not is completely irrelevant to this; we all become those adults eventually--no matter what happened to us as kids.
#ask#Anonymous#i dont want to keep repeating myself on this but we're all carrying fucked up and traumatizing childhoods to some extent and if you want to#spare another child going through the same thing the solution is not to hate on children bc they didnt ask to be born any more than the res#of us did. but they're here now and what are you going to tell them while they are?#what kind of an adult and what kind of a compass are you going to become for them during the time they're learning about being alive?#and if you decide its not your problem the minute this child says or does something fucked up and that they're a lost cause at the age of 8#bc their impulse control is shitty and their empathy & understanding is still buffering then that is part of the problem. they learn what#they're doing is okay and then they keep doing it--to other kids and years later other adults. our world is fucked up and makes fucked up#people and if you have it in your ability to limit that damage at its most formative and dangerous point then why wouldn't you?#notes from elsewhere
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka
#I think a big part of why I'm so attached to/interested in spirit as a character is because he objectively has A LOT going on in his life.#but because he was created to fill that stock pervy comedic-relief anime side-character archetype we never get to see any of it examined.#or even brought up at all for the most part#like spirit apparently comes from a long line of death weapons who despite having been loyal to lord death for generations are never ever#mentioned & who spirit himself never mentions despite carrying on the family tradition (although he's not unique in that regard tbh)#at 12-13 years old he becomes stein's weapon partner & in his own words it became “[spirit's] job to control [stein].”#another kid with a laundry list of mental health & behavioral issues that spirit probably wasn't super prepared to help “control”#(personally I think that this “job” of spirit's was a duty he took upon himself rather than something lord death necessarily told him to do)#then just ~5 years later he 1) loses/rejects said weapon partner & probably best friend after some really major boundaries were crossed#2) becomes a husband & father at just 18#(& in his own words a broke 18 year old at that. another point towards him not being in contact with any family if they're even alive)#3) becomes technically one of the most important people in the world once he ascends to being a death weapon.#not necessarily in that exact order but certainly in quick succession.#& then we fast forward to canon & spirit's at best a guy who drinks way more than he probably should & at worst a functioning alcoholic#who's only A MONTH into being divorced for his habitual infidelity & is in the really weird position of being the primary caretaker of his#daughter who (rightfully) hates him despite him having zero custodial rights over her.#& imo he seems to have no friends in death city before stein & the other death scythes return despite generally being a people person.#like. spirit is kind of the epitome of should've been at the club lmao#soul eater#spirit albarn#kami albarn#meta (kind of. not really lol)
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
nearl utena paletteswap. is this anything
......wait, hold on...
#arknights#revolutionary girl utena#utena#tenjou utena#nearl#margaret nearl#arknights edit#...yeah i guess i'll tag the other guys too#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#megurine luka#i do currently think the nearl-utena similarities are mostly surface-level. if anything‚ i think she's closer to anthy#(even though nearl's story does not read to me as one that's consciously about misogyny or abuse or even gender‚ really)#to me‚ the most compelling part of nearl's character is the way she sacrifices her personhood to become a symbol of liberation#she is whatever the people want her to be; she is the vessel for their hope‚ their grief‚ their hate. she will burn herself alive for them#margaret nearl is dead by her own hand; what has taken her place is not a human being. it is the future. it is the city. it is the light#and unlike anthy‚ she chose this for herself. she welcomes dehumanization if it means that others might live a better life#i wonder‚ in those moments when she takes off her armor‚ if she ever resents it; if she ever thinks she made the wrong choice#... sorry for the downer notes on a silly post god damn. these horses have done something to my brain
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
hehehe
#milgram#project sekai#kazui mukuhara#shidou kirisaki#mizuki akiyama#0507#kazushidou#me when the heavily queer coded character is also cat :3 themed#actually i've also drawn rui in kazui's suit too cuz he's :3 too#also obligatory old man yaoi i love them so much have i said that already#basically the scenario i imagined was shidou talking himself down or feeling guilty for still being alive/wanting to live#and then kazui just grabs him and is like “shut up don't say that you matter and i llllllike you. like. platonic. totally"#shidou is like :‚‚^(#but also a part of him probably feels nice to have someone care that much about him#anwyays i hate side profiles vomits everywhere#chibi's art/rkgk
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
metalhead ghost who’s been in moshpits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out. he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out, kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or putting their hands where they shouldn’t
and he’s been keeping an eye on the punk in the kilt since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death
he looks like the type to start shit - loud and aggressive as anyone else here but a punk doesn't end up at a metal show for no reason - but there's also something niggling at him that he's gonna end up getting himself hurt. and ghost can’t tell if he’s going to do it on purpose
if he does, ghost needs to know. he uses these places as an escape - the music, the violence, the community - always has and he knows all to well how easily an escape can curdle and become destructive. he’s seen too many people lost to the darker parts of the scene, almost lost himself to it; he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else if he can help it
so when he sees the punk sweating his mohawk off, his movements becoming looser and uncoordinated, he has no issues with yanking him out of the pit and pulling him away from the crowd; pushing him up against the venue wall and ordering him to open his mouth
the glaze that falls over his eyes concerns him even as he obediently lets his mouth fall open. he was right; the punk’s severely dehydrated, tongue and gums far to pale and along with the look in his eyes, he half-thinks he’s about to drop
he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw to keep him up and the punk shivers, a flush creeping up his neck. an almost confused arousal joins the haze in his eyes and ghost smirks beneath his mask
looks like metal shows aren’t the only thing the punk is new to
#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost has a split tongue bc i said so#and soaps mohawk is overgrown and fluffy as hell running down the back of his neck#once ghost forces water down his throat soap comes back online and is his usual self and ghost starts to like him even more#he likes having someone that can go toe to toe with him#i wish i knew more about the scene so i could expand this but i dont know shit about punk or metal culture lmao#i do know itd be mid 20s soap and late 30s early 40s ghost and soaps just self destructing#wanting to be an artist but hes being strangled both by his family who think its a waste when hes so mathematically smart#and by the artistic community who hate his pieces for being too chaotic and non traditional#ghost keeps running into him at shows and he recognises that self destruction all too well#and he sees him declining and knows if he doesnt step in no one will#he was a drug addict after getting caught up in abusive relationship with roba#and it was only his brothers death that pulled him out of his spiral#he doesnt want death to be the end of this spitfire punks story#soaps also got that classic catholic guilt internalised homophobia going for him#hes only ever known the bad parts of the scene he didnt know there was anything different#until ghost introduces him to price and nikolai whove been together longer than hes been alive#and to gaz and farah and alex who make no secret of their love for each other and soap realises just how deprived he is of healthy love#not when his parents barely stand him not when his sister only got married when she fell pregnant and they forced her into the church#with a man she hardly knew just so they could keep their reputation#just ghost showing soap theres more to life than violence and hatred and theres so much love for him to discover#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's competitive but I think my favorite Conan anecdote is when he told his therapist "Everyone hates me, they think I have no talent and they wish I would just go away," and his therapist said "That's called negative self-talk and you have to realize it's just the depression talking" and Conan said "Self-talk? I'm just quoting my latest review!"
#I know this sounds like a joke and it is but apparently it also really happened#Conan was telling his therapist he felt like everyone hated him and his therapist was trying to convince him it was all in his head#and he was like everything I just said was a direct quote from a review#this was at his lowpoint when he was like a hair's breadth from getting fired and the press was absolutely eating him alive#gotta respect a guy who's forced to eat shit on national TV and gets absolutely humiliated and ground into the dirt by someone he trusted-#-and he doesn't even bitch about it he just gets right back up and gets a new show and becomes even funnier#like he fully understood that his legacy wasn't about being liked it was about a) treating people right and b) being the funniest man alive#and he did both of those things and continues to do both of those things so I think he's going to be fine#or as he put it “I've been up and I've been down but I have a certain skillset and I'd like to be of use for as long as its viable”#I think he's letting go of acclaim at this point... or that's the impression I got from the nyt piece#not that he's not grateful but he no longer sees it as an objective or even an accomplishment to be loved and acclaimed#it's more about the act of creation and the creative output itself bc that's the part that continues to matter thirty years later#conan o'brien
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
love how the older skaters in the senior division give Yurio encouragement and that each time it pisses Yurio off. JJ is intentionally condescending so that makes sense, but with Viktor and Yuuri they're not even being condescending. Yurio's just dialed in on being a hater... and i love that for him <3
#'plot twist i LOBV you' -Yuuri#'i am going to skin you alive' -Yurio#yuri on ice#sometimes he is a teenager#he's got so much fury in his tiny body. and yet he is also just an earnest lad. i find him sooo funny silly#which he would hate me for!!#I recall a meta post about Otabek being the first one to verbally recognize how hard Yurio devotes himself to skate and I really dig that#like I think Yurio's frustration is justifiably rooted in how little others take him seriously despite his life-consuming dedication#I DO think he is over the top and i enjoy this; for it is entertaining.#but i also think his feelings are genuine and he is a complex little guy.#i'm thinking of him sharing his grandpa's food with Yuuri and being emotionally vulnerable with him at the waterfall#Yurio is a hater on his opponents (and Viktor) but I think on some level he recognizes the genuine care Yuuri+Viktor show him#I think Yurio doesn't understand how they can be encouraging to him while also taking him seriously#Cuz Yurio is so wary of his elders dismissing him#so older skaters being friendly translates in his head as 'they dont think i can beat them / they dont see me as an equal'#But I think when these relationships are removed from that competitive atmosphere Yurio DOES see how they care and he appreciates it.#It would be so sweet to see an older Yurio reflect on this time and realize that Viktor + Yuuri + others DID take him seriously#and just because they were fond of him it doesnt mean they didnt appreciate his talent.#tbh being a young athlete must be such a mindfuck and idk how these bitches do it. send tweet#yuri plisetsky#yoi meta#queue#my words#AWW right after writng this i watched the part where Yurio starts yelling encouragement to Yuuri#who internally tells himself 'i got more stamina than that fuckin Yurio mf' (paraphrasing lol)#they switched love languages <3 cheerleader & hater role reversal
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey guys who wants another round of tmi
#ive been#this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it#i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm#not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it#has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was#fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa#by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will#always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus#i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being#countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it#has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying#its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man#keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just#thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not#crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive#funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it#tmi#rant#embarrassed myself enough i think#sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough#i'll be okay
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i get it. i really do. i know jay is sexist. especially in s1. but it’s so obviously an intentional choice that the writers know is a bad thing to be. they were trying to do a sokka. obviously it didn’t work but authorial intent does still matter
#he’s a teenage boy in 2012 that’s what they were like. it was intentional. his whole relationship with nya in s1 is a suki thing NOT#a legitimately hating women thing.#that confessions blog is causing just the right kind of discourse to torment me#also. half the people saying skybound is sexist do not actually remember skybound#their criticisms are so wildly off it’s clear you haven’t seen it recently#if you’re going to critique it at least do it accurately#ninjago is not a great show yes but it’s legitimately harmful sexist is a lot more subtle than#when it’s blatantly making a joke of people who are sexist. it can be both#like pixel not being treated like a person beyond her relationship with zane to the point that no one else mentions her for four whole#seasons where she is alive and present. that’s an accidental sexism. on the part of the authors#jay making a joke about saving a hot girl in the pilots? that’s a fucking character trait. it was set up#FUCK I JUST REALIZED WHY NO ONE CONNECTS THAT ITS INTENTIONAL. YALL DIDNT WATCH THE SHORTS#THE SHORTS ARE SO FUCKING CANON AND THEY CAME OUT AT THE SAME TIME#YOU THINK THEY WERE MAKING JAY SEXIST BC THEYRE SEXIST BC YOU DIDNT SEE THE BLACKSMITH SHORT.#THE WHOLE JOKE IS THAT HES TRYING TO BE FULL OF MACHISMO WHILE SHES THE ONE WHO KICKS ASS
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone on earth probably has a hypothetical farming sim in their mind's eye that they daydream about on occasion because of the unfortunate situation that despite there being like a thousand farming games released every minute only like 4 of them are any good. and i think this is fun, i think its good to keep the imagination alive. if i made a farming sim i would bring back rival marriages from the old friends of mineral town. i want to steal someones wife.
#jk jk you dont steal anyones wife or husband. but it wasnt a popular feature because people felt like they were stealing someones spouse#plus the fact that characters married eachother after a certain amount of time made them unavailable for player marriage adding a timelimit#if the player wants to get married. but thats why i want it BACK i think its 1) hilarious and 2) interesting and makes the world feel alive#NOW part of the reason (outside of it being an unpopular feature to begin with) its not in like any modern games is probably because#devs don't know how to deal with non-gender-locked marriage candidates with this#i think its easy. everyone is bisexual. not just playersexual. textually bisexual#it'll be interesting if they always have a set pairup regardless of player gender but it could also be interesting if there was like#a little algorithm to give a couple non-player pairups as options. maybe make it random#or if a dev was tooooo ambitious they could add a matchmaking system that the player could be involved with if they wanted to play cupid LO#but that seems too much for a farming game. thats usually a whole other game in itself#but yeah i think its easy. its not like farming sim marriage candidates are all that deep characters to begin with#i think itd be fine if you had a couple randomized rival marriages...... i think itd be neat#my other farming sim daydream is NO fucking combat for the love of god FREE ME from combat#that is why i like story of seasons just a bit more than stardew#stardew has so much good farming mechanics but god i hate the mines. i think its so soso sososososososo boring#i also dont really like the turn based battles in atelier games and most atelierlikes either#(well i liked it in mana khemia but that was more turn based focused than alchemy focused)#i came here to farm. i came here to make potions. i came here to micromanage numbers. do not make me battle#but that is purely a personal preference thing LOL a lot of people really love farming game combat. i dont tho <3#MY DAYDREAM FARMING SIM HAS NO COMBAT... AND YES CUCKHOLDRY#(jk jk thats not what rival marriages are. but thats how people talk about them. which is fascinating)#(unfortunately it makes me laugh so thats why i keep making jokes about it. sowwy <3 )
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Coworker: I finally caught up!
Me: Ooh, you saw Law use his awakened fruit? Wasn't it awesome?
Coworker: Yeah, one question.
Coworker: Who was that dude in the flashbacks?
Me: ...
Me: No, try again.
Me: You've done it wrong.
#what's the point of rushing so you don't get spoiled only to spoil the plot yourself#I'm sorry whose CORAZON?#just you know#the man who saved Law#the reason he's alive#his WHOLE point in being here in the first place#it's fine you just skipped all the parts about Law's entire characterization and motivation#thats probably not important#He skipped most of Thriller Bark too#But Dressrosa and Thriller Bark are things I love!#its rude to skip them!#dressrosa arc#one piece#trafalgar d. water law#trafalgar law#one piece as as family activity!#*work#donquixote corazon#donquixote rosinante#Why did you think Doffy hated Law!?#so you just skipped the parts that explained DOFFY#arg!
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.
#i saw the tv glow#isttvg#the set design dude#the world is just decaying around Owen as they’re dying from the inside out#everything starts losing color and we stop seeing Owen out in the bright sunlight#the only shot that’s there that’s nice and bright and wonderful is the one of maddys burial spot#the split second pause after the drive thru worker calls Owen sir#like it was just physically painful to hear and they needed a second#the fact they just start apologizing for having a breakdown but there’s still time and they shouldn’t be doing that#they phrase it as needing to become a man but really all they’re doing is killing themself slowly over time#i 100% read Maddy and Owen/Isabel and Tara as t4t love where one of them was ready to come out and move on with their life while the other#is too scared to ever change and is stuck in an endless loop of being something they’re not#Owen has the personality of wet grass but that’s the entire point#being too scared to ever be anything more than what is expected and just rotting over years and year and just hating yourself all the while#I love the part where Owen can’t verbalize why exactly their romantic attraction feels wrong#it’s wrong because they’re trans and can’t incision a life as Owen but can’t say out loud that it’s being perceived as a male in#a relationship that is the problem#the jab the dad makes about pink opaque being a girl’s show and how the dad is the one to drag Owen away from freedom in the tv#he’s holding Owen back but they’re so fucking scared to live as Isabel and are just stuck in a cycle of self loathing#but there’s still time#the reason Maddy/Tara doesn’t come back is because there is still time#but Owen has to be the one to commit to being Isabel and no one else is going to drag them into the dirt#it’s their choice alone and their inaction is a choice all on its own#no matter how much time passes as long as Owen is alive then there is still time to change but their inaction is slowly killing them#the fact they find the truth in their own chest dude that’s such a trans thing#where the fuck is my insurance card I’m calling my doctor to start t when the offices open#THERES STILL TIME MAN#THERES STILL TIME
8 notes
·
View notes