#i hate this fuckinf place
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Now with the election results… AFO PLS COME BACK. COME BACJ. PLEASE BOMB TEXAS PLSSSS PLEASSEEEEEEEE AAAA
COME BACKCKKMKMMMMKKK
#for legal reasons this is a joke#pls afo#i actually love you#put me out of my misery#i hate this fuckinf place
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“Lucky I didn’t hurt’cha worse, snake-shit.”
Fight of the year: Spider Killian (asshole) vs Jamil Viper (asshole)
Oc x canon is a thing of the past! It’s time for OC VS CANON. Make them FIGHT. Make them DESPISE EACH OTHER WITH THE RAGE OF 1000 SUNS
#ash-OCs#Spider Killian#twst Yuu#yuu OC#twisted wonderland oc#Twst OC#twst fanart#twisted wonderland#Jamil viper#it’s become a spectator sport in Scarabia to watch them fight#people place bets and everything#also I definitely typed spectator sperm#does getting punched in the nose hurt worse if you have a nose ring?#would it also hurt more for the person punching you????#the real questions#JAMIL AND SPIDER ARE NOT A SHIP BTW I WANNA CLARIFY THAT#THERE IS NO SUBTEXT TO THIS FIGHT THEY JUST FUCKINF HATE EACH PTHER#kalim and spider are the gay ones#piratetreasure my loves
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😄
#IM ACTUALLY SO FUCKINF SERIOUS FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IM SO FUCKINF ANGRY#YOUVE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT#YOURE FUCKING WITH ME. YOURE FUCKING WITH ME#FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DONT CARE !!!!!!!#YOULL JUST SEND ME AWAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DEAL WITH !!!!!!!!!!! AND WHO KNOWS HOW LONG ITLL BE THIS TIME !!!!!!!!!!!#YOU JUST DONT WANNA DEAL WITH ME !!!! YOULL JUST CALL THEM AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!#FUCK OFF !!!!!! DONT FAKE SHIT WITH ME !!!!!! YOU CANT BE SERIOUS !!!!!!!!!!!#FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST DIE !!!!!!!!! JUST DIE !!!!!!!!!!!#I HOPE YOU ALL DIE !!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!#ITS ALL THE SAME !!!!!! JUST DIFFERENT PLACES !!!!!! SAME PEOPLE SAME PEOPLE SAME PEOPLE ITS THE SAME !!!!!!#I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT
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so my bedroom has a door that leads directly to the outside which I fucking hate and i really want to cover it up but the only thing I can think of is putting a curtain or something over it…is that fine? like is there a better way to do this???
#went over to my friends apartment for the first time and it was so depressing bc her place is so much nicer#i feel like im living in a cabin#this whole week has been such shit and i think it’s just bc of how much i fuckinf hate my apartment#ramblings
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idk whose idea it was to centre my school trip around politics but they should get fired
#vent#vent post#idk man im jjst so!!!! i feel out of place im being told to shut up and its like im in primary again getting shunned for just fucking.#existinf. and it sjcks#i hate my yearmates sk bad i cant fuckinf wait to graduate!!!!
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Apparently in the newest tales from the pizzaplex book, its said that Sun & Moon where originally supposed to be performers on stage (ig where comedy bot is now), where Moon being evil was part of the performance, but then Sun got reprogrammed to be the daycare attendant and it was too expensive to get rid of Moon so they decided to just always keep the lights on. Of course, the Fazbear Frights books arent necessarily canon to the games, but thats actually really interesting and would explain why Sun+Moons designs dont fit the daycare or any other part of the Pizzaplex at all, and why Sun acts the way he does, and why Sun+Moon only have that messy room above the daycare to live in. However, I guess that would mean that stuff like Moon plushies would have to be from pre-reprogramming, since afterwards no one would be supposed to see him. Again, ofc its not necessarily canon to the games, but I actually like this idea
#fnaf security breach#fnaf daycare attendant#I also think this is funny because I dont think ive ever seen anyone have this idea at all#I dont think ive ever seen it be majorly quesrioned that they were supposed to always be the daycare attendants#ALSO man the fazbear frights books (and ghe first pizzaplex book i hated that one) are so fuckinf SHIT it makes me upset cuz i would love#good stories about peoples experiences and stuff inside freddys restaurants/the pizzaplex cause I love those places even apart from the#horror BUT THE STORIES ARE ALWAYS SHIT !!!!!!
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my coping mechanisms for today now that I've gotten off work and have been left with my thoughts are to drink copius amounts of coca cola, eat two of those tiny ice cream drumsticks, sit in front of the gas station trying to decompress, and redownloading TikTok because I was feeling isolated
We are not well fellas
#what im reallly doing is putting off going home#im going to walk into that door and my parents are going to have fox news on and be on facebook talking about the election#and i cant i cant i hate it so much#its almost worse that they probably wouldnt try to talk to me about it#at least my mom wouldnt#because they equal parts dont know and dont care how badly their constant conservative bullshit affects me#and they dont know because i know they dont care#its so frustating to engaage with so i just dont but being in their house during this fucking election cycle makes it worse#i hate it i hate it i hate jt#i wish i had my own place already but thats still months off at this point#and if that fucking old man wins im never gonna hear the end of it even if they never talk directly to me about it#the living room tv has a fox news logo burned into the corner#my mother has a shirt that says i identify as a conspiracy theorist my pronouns are fuck/you#i heard her talking about fucking pizza gate this morning#this is the same woman who excitedly woke me up in 2008 to let me know that obama had won the presidency#having her fucking brain rotted by fox news and dipshit scumlords like ben shapiro and the stupidest bullshit conspiracy theorists#who have ever gotten their hands on a fuckinf mic#its so frustrating its so endlessly frustrating
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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There uses to be a burger place called Tailpipes that served really good burgers, fries, & Shakes but it closed down during covid but I still will find myself going "Damn, I want some tailpipes!" And again experience the horror that it is closed. Fucking makes me wanna scream
#like so many good places closed down and were replaced with Vape shops.#we have so many vape shops#like high street has like 3 of them right near eachother#i fuckinf HATE IT
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Baby Mama (OPLA HEADCANNONS)
In honor of mothers day, here some little headcannons I cooked up for our faves! Hope yall enjoy lol
Luffy
-This mf was like...actually capable of conceiving a child lmao.
-There was really no like initial shock, it was more like overwhelming joy? There was honestly no need to reveal it to the rest of the crew since the second you told him he shouted it loud ad fucing possible.
-"Luffy, uhhh I think im pregnant." You huff, hand over your forehead as you try to figure out the next course of action.
"YOURE PREGNANT?! THATS GREAT!"
"Y/N IS WHAT?" Nami gasps, eyes flitting form you to Luffy, then to your belly.
"YOU’RE PREGNANT?! HOW?" Usopp questions, only to have Sanji interrupt,
"Well Usopp, when two people love eachother- or well... lets talk about he birds and the bee-"
"I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS DICKHEAD-"
-Luffy is a.....he's a great dad, just a little uhhhh...wild?
-You have to explain tho him that this baby cannot fucking eat solid food.
-He's learning and that’s all that matters. He knows when to get serious about his kid and when its okay to be a lil silly.
-Oh and be prepared for when your kid hits about 6-7 cause they're so much like their father its crazy-
Zoro
-He's thuroughly convinced its your fault because he knows for a fact he has impeccable pull out.
-"That’s not mine." He hums, pointing at the newborn with a raise brow.
The fucking liar this baby is his spitting image. Like your genes didn't evens stand a chance. The baby even fucking mean mugs like he does, that lil stoic face.
-"This isn’t yours?" You question, holding the baby up side by side with his obvious father.
"Nope"
-Once he’s like fully processed and accepted the fact that your pussy just so happened to weaken his pull out game, he will claim the child and make sure he's being helpful with both you and the infant.
-It was actually pretty fucking hilarious to see the baby try and latch to his nipple cause his tits are fucking massive. Heeee didn’t think it was that funny tho💀
-Just let the kid grow up a little bit and they’re all about their father, and even though he may not show it all the time, he adores his baby. And they will always be a baby in his eyes. And he things you’re a phenomenal mother even though it was sort of a surprise.
Nami
-You had come aboaded with a toddler. And sure enough they latched to Nami in a heartbeat.
-“AHT! No, you stay with me and let them work.” You reprimand, giving a quick apology to the tangarine haired girl.
“Oh no they’re okay. Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He hum, taking the 2 year old by the hand before you can protest.
-Auntie Nami accidentally turned to ‘mamami’ (Mama Nami) andddd it just stuck.
-one night the three of you had fall asleep in Nami’squarter and she had woke up and just, admires you both. She couldn’t help the way her chest squeezed when she thought about raising this child with you or how much she loved being a part of your lives.
Your eyes flutter open and you give her a knowing look, her face already tinted pink.
“Nami,” you begin, your free hand pushing hair behind her ear as she hold your wrist, placing a kiss there.
“Thank you, love you.” You hum, letting yourself fall back asleep.
-yeah she’s stuck with you two for life
-unironically calls you her baby mama
Usopp
-is literally the best fuckinf dad. Literally ever.
-he wants to make sure he’s an active part of your child’s life, being sure to keep you both in good health and high spirits.
-when you broke the news he was terrified. How good of a father could he be? He just don’t want to let you down.
-“W-What if our kid hates me?” He voices one night, hands holding your tummy.
“I doubt that’ll happen. You’ll be okay Uso.”
-Guess having impeccable aim runs in the family because by time your child is year they’re already throwing projectiles with phenomenal accuracy.
-you can’t tell me he doesn’t make most of your babies toys.
-he loves seeing you just have little moments with your baby, he definetly cried when they took their first steps.
-keeps a picture of the three of you tucked away
-hints at wanting another one from time to time
Sanji
-fainted when you told him.
-honestly he’s a little shocked. He didn’t really put ‘father’ on his goal list but here yall are lol
-he’s very supported and knows that morning sickness is a bitchhhh
-“how’re my girls…or boy” he greets, pressing a kiss to your tummy then to your lips.
-much to his surprise, he was right on both parts because you’re having twins! Yayyyyy
-you cuss him out when your in labor.
-“SANJI YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHY DID I FALL FOR YOUR DELICIOUS FOOD YOU FUCK!”
-he’s not allowed in the delivery room lmao he fainted again when the nurse asked if he’d like to see what was goin on
-after 6 horrendous hours, your baby boy and girl are finally born and he’s too delighted.
-“good job baby.” He praises, peppering your tired face with kisses.
-when the kids are older he’s always falling victim to their puppy eyes and begging when they ask for dessert before dinner
-“please dad! We won’t tell mom! Pleaseeee!”
-he loves being with you and loves that he’s been blasted with a wonderful wife and two beautiful children
Shanks
-oh the minute he found out he was stunned! He was sure he already had an illegitimate baby somewhere but for one of the baby mamas to actually let him know was, a bit of a surprised?
-and that’s it. He doesn’t really go out of his way to go visit and see if it’s true. He goes on about his business truely.
-one day, he comes across a lady at a bar, her bright red hair thrown up and she waits tables, her gaze almost immediately locking on his as she frowns
-….what the fuck she looks just like him.
-she goes to a couple other of the waiters/waitresses and the minute they catch his gaze they’re nodding profusely at her.
-it took, shit you not. 3 hours for them to get a table and that was only because her boss came in and MADE her seat the crew.
-“what do you want.” She huffs, her notepad clenched so tight it crumples the paper.
Shanks only further studies the girl, her rage ever present as she slams the notepad down.
“I SAID, What. Do. You. Want. Quickly, or I’m leaving you here to wait 3 more hours. Spit it the fuck out you old bastard.” She spits, leaving him somewhat shocked.
-“How about the-“
-“we’re all out. Deadbeat.” She finishes, dropping her apron and notepad, then walking out.
Safe to say that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.
-when he finds where you guys live and YOU answer the door thank god, he firstly apologizes (which you don’t accept right away) and explains how he already met your daughter.
Speak of the devil she had just rounded the corner asking who it was.
“Don’t let this fucker the house mom, please.” She begs, gaze flittering form you to her sperm donor.
-yeahhhhhh this is why he hardly ever makes the effort to see his unsuspecting kids. Doesn’t quite pan out how he thinks.
Mihawk
- you’re not the only one at all. He’s got plenty fucking kids running around and you’re fully aware of that, having run into more than one child that looks just mf like him.
-he won’t deny any of them, but he doesn’t feel like he owes them anything either? It’s weird and you usually feel bad that he picked you and your child when he could very well have done that for the rest of them.
-he often assures you that we’re were one night stand situations he hardly remembers after being so damn drunk.
-he’s a good dad though and a great husband. He makes sure you’re taken care of even is he’s gone a lot of the time. When you told him you were having a baby he didn’t leave from your side.
-when the baby is born he’s a bit suprised they don’t look like him but as soon as they open their eyes he’s so mf smug. Those eyes are a dead giveaways that’s his baby.
-don’t let that baby ask for something be used Mihawk will without a doubt give it to them no matter what.
-“Honey I-“
-there standing in front of the fridge, in laminated with its light are your husband and child. Their eyes wide like an owls, staring directly into your soul.
-“We wanted ice cream.”
Buggy
-he loves his babies. Hands down loves his fucking babies. Plural because of course you were blessed/cursed with triplets.
-two boys, one sweet girl, and not one of them look like their daddy, besides that faint tint of blue in their hair.
-and he’s maddddd, well. not at you but at his genes.
-“honey wait, they might just grow into it?” You encourage, trying not to laugh as he tried to figure out why his kids don’t look like him.
-thank god you were right because by time they were all 4/5 that blue had brightened and the little red glow of their noses were ever present.
-he’s so attentive with you, taking care of the three of them when you need rest or just in general cause how gorgeous wife needs rest after making three gorgeous babies
-freaks his babies out when he takes his head off
-then they won’t leave him the fuck alone about it and will often take pieces of him while he chases them around for them back.
-his babies get their own spot on the show and it fucking adorable watching toddlers dance to circus music with face paint they insisted they do themselves
-best dad buggy 100%
#x reader#one piece#reader is black#one piece live action#i don't care he's hot#headcannons#one piece x reader#opla#hes so hot#opla luffy x reader#one piece zoro x reader#nami x reader#opla usopp x reader#opla sanji x reader#opla shanks x reader#opla mihawk x reader#opla buggy x reader#Mother’s Day headcannon
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all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)
please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read
disposable girl (jordyn)
(old)
i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL
(new)
man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..
irreverent girl (kairi)
(old)
I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.
(new)
When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents
splitter girl (tahira)
(old)
theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe
(new)
getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^
fainéant girl (freyja)
(old)
i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make
(new)
my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me
caliber girl (nora)
(old)
唉~It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…
(new)
My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml
chocolate box girl (morgan)
(old)
i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this
(new)
girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!
taxidermy girl (mayra)
(old)
I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over
(new)
Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on
chemical girl (joy)
(old)
LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right
(new)
i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon
refraction girl (nataana)
(old)
i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better
(new)
talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that
nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)
(old)
I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.
(new)
I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!
#the post traumatic manifesto#tptm#refraction girl#weevildoing#splitter girl#nurse parallel#chocolate box girl#chemical girl#disposable girl#faineant girl#irreverent girl#taxidermy girl#caliber girl
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hope you don't mind me ranting rq--
i constantly think about your yan!Hae-In and yan!Jinwoo ideas because they're so fun to mess around with.
bc what if the readers honest to god reaction to either of then confessing to then was "i don't feel the dame way.. you wanna see this cool bug i found?"
that OR the reader is a little freak of a poet and writes romance novels with concerningly detailed cannibalism scenes and is more interested in the shadow ants than either of them.
also i'm planning on writing a fic about the cannibal poet reader, but it's going to take a while because i'm shit at writing-
LMFAOO IDC IF U FLOOD MY INBOX ITS FINEEE more people to talk to anyway because im a bit of a pussy to talk straight up to my mutuals sigh
also thanks i actually have alot in my drafts its just most of them are unfinished and i have no idea if i should let them see the light of day or not... same with w.jc , chi, and sjw sick day fic LMFAOO uhhmm anyway!!
that's actually something i lovvee experienting with lowkey especially as someone who takes a big looong time to realize 'oh they liked me" and it's been fucking months since they confessed but anyqay I actually act like that most of the time it's pretty bad anywaaay this is funny as hell with yandere jinhae who's TRYING their best to make you swoon even if they're not the best with romance but you still don't... budge... bur hey you'll show them some cool colored bug you picked off the side walk! that's hopefully not a mutated monster that escaped a dungeon.
anyway more on the first idea this probably either ends really well or horribly depending on how both jinwoo and haein receives this ooooooorrr the circumstances really on how much they both value you but since im a freak for borderline this is insanity why are you writing this type of literature let's say that if you rejected then you have one swordswoman who accidentally fucks you up psychologically (I don't see haein someone who would do it willingly or deliberately gets enjoyment from it) but with jinwoo its a bit complicated to say because each person has a different take on how jinwoo perceives romance and how he processes feelings but since its my post im going with it's probably borderline fucked up if we consider the fact the more he levels up or grows the more apathetic or inhumane he becomes! im gonna abuse the hell out of this concept
but anywya with jinwoo u're probably gonna either get straight up kidnapped OR because you're lowkey desensitized and carefree that maybe kidnapping doesn't really have any affect on you then he might just sends weird eldritch horrors depictions of death and darkness when you're about to sleep so now you need a cute bug themes night light to sleep because no way you're letting some death incarnate screw up your sleeping schedule.
also those two as an attempt to maybe sway you might get into bugs or whatever little interests like jinwoo is having small consultations with beru or has him on standby everytime he spends time with you or haein overcoming her trauma (this takes place after jeju island) and learns and starts to love bugs just for you to reciprocate her feelings then these two quiz eachother on who knows more and what not it's literally amusing to see them debates over fuckinf caterpillars when you returned with take out because they insisted hanging out with you
anyway now on the latter I LOVE LOVE grotesque depictions of love especially like with murder OR cannibalism like how probably eating eachother is like a way of showing affection and how now your love will always be inside of them (literally) or something along the lines!! it's actually so cool how it's portrayed in media i need some suggestions actually anyway in the context of jinhae and mc being a poet uhmmm I'm not sure because i suck at making poems so im not the best on how to... make this work... i hate writing poems but I'll stick witj the theme of being a romance horror writer but not what you think of like colleen hoover or whomever the fuck wrote haunting adeline (god please i hope those books gets SMITED off the face of earth because this has stained dark romance to the point i dont even wanna acknowledge dark romance as a genre).
if you're a popular horror writer who specializes on creeping out your readers but still somehow delivers a good message or screwedd up message in between the lines of ripped boddies and intestines then jinhae has probably heard of you before like definitely.
like the themes of your books or poems to other people seems to be very disgusting or only written for the shock value but maybe to jinwoo or haein they have a whooole different meaning or one of your books/poems struck them really deep they got into a bit of a rabbit hole going through your collection as an author. i can definitely see both of them becoming fans and attending meet and greets.
oh my god a thought came to me and it's basically how would these two act in the internet if your name was beinf slandered like because your books or poems is not well perceived by all because you would occasionally write screwed up romance that you do not condone at all!! it's all for the sake of symbolism and experimentation with the material but anyway these two would have different reactions to this
for example haein seems to be the type to not be sooo like... like how do i explain this shes the type to have an anonymous account and goes to those forums to have actual discussions and tries to be civil as she can be when she tries to convert these haters why they should like you because i can't see her going as far to try to find this individual's address BUT but im just saying if ever that same hater was in the same dungeon raid as haein, there's no guarantee that haein will probably let them... die and say it was an accident.
anyway jinwoo is less interactive on the internet and is more of a lurker but he's probably the definitely the type to send ominous messages and then appear on their doorstep next morning or even minute if they're that unlucky LMFAO. another case of missing people otw!!
oh and i lowkey love the whooole idea of if you have a writer darling no matter how screwed or how fluffy their stories are the person or people who loves them will try to recreate this. yeaaah i can see this happening with jinwoo and haein and the tiny competition they have is who performed it better.
like for example if you written a poem about the elegant slashes of a sword on how it glides so easily through certain monsters, haein would try to replicate the feeling and explains to jinwoo that she obviously is better at portraying at this because she is a certified swordswoman or something along the lines and honestly jinwoo can't exactly argue against that because she's right but he won't admit it
then with paragraphs that depicts the most grueling experience of death and what not is something jinwoo is really familiar with and he's the type to copy it by doing it on random monsters he encounters in dungeons or even certain monarchs if they're that unlucky or jinwoo feels a biiit experimental LMFAO yeah okay what my brain is fried.
oh talking about darling being a horror romance writer, the moment jinwoo introduces his shadows or you find out about you become absolutely infatuated with them and the whoole idea like especially they're permanently serving death that's a pretty neat idea to you.
you start to write more and talk less to jinwoo and mooore to the shadows, it's pretty funny to see but you didn't notice the fact jinwoo is fuming in the background as he watches you get into in depth discussions with igris and bellion about their past lives and how you'll implement their experiences in a poem
yeha kay thats it my brain wugh dead bye uhm yeah talk to me more i love this sm thanks for food for thought
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open at your own risk warning this is long
this is just the whole fuckinf story
here’s the wattpad but I have it written below
Brace yourself, bear with me and yea.
So to start it off, Revolt park is a South Park au made to take place in 1848. The characters live in this kingdom named southshire, with a tyrant of a ruler. The king is Lucifer Thorn, royal by blood. His wife, Beatrice Thorn, died of some sort of disease but there were some rumors that she was a witch. And their son, Damien thorn.
Damien is often kept in the castle, far from the outsiders, kinda like rapunzel. He had never really met anyone is age, he mostly was around the two royal servants, Josh and Leslie. Well that was until one day, while he was out at the royal garden, he saw some poor underclass boy through the gates. Therefore how he met pip.
The revolution was another part of this little kingdom. Gregory, a upperclass boy, who had never really dealt with the unfairness of the classes. Had somehow started a revolution to take down the classes. He was a privileged boy, always or mostly got what he wanted yet he still did this revolution thing. Mark, a middleclass boy, being his right hand man. And Gregory’s younger brother by two years, Herbert, also decided to help. The revolution consisted of mostly teens and mostly boys. Barely any upperclass, some middleclass, and A LOT of underclass. Gregory’s sister, younger by one year, Estella, was somewhat apart of the revolution. She was a feminist, she wanted equal rights for ALL, especially women. Rebecca, marks sister, younger by a year and Wendy were also somewhat apart of the revolution, just to make sure it had feminism.
Christophe, Kenny and pip are all underclass. Christophe works as a grave digger, pip at the bakery and Kenny as a newsboy. All somehow apart of the Revolution, mostly half-assed. Pip rarely shows up to the meetings. Yes, he wants equality, he is in the working class after all, but he just doesn’t seem to have interest for the meetings, especially since he met Damien. Kenny shows up every once in a while, he thinks the upperclass are rich snobs and he wants equality for the underclass, he also just hates Gregory. Christophe shows up to basically every meeting, for two reasons. He believes in the cause, throughout his skepticism. He just thinks Gregory’s ideas are a little too far fetched. But he also likes to go because Gregory’s basically eye candy to him.
Lexus, cosette and dogpoo(DP) don’t really have a big role in the story, they’re friends with Christophe,Kenny and pip. Cosette who loves Christophe, Lexus who lusts for Christophe, and Dogpoo who often picks a fight for Christophe. The underclass was a cruel and dog eat dog place, filled with thieves and prostitutes and dying people, Lexus being a prostitute herself. Cosette was almost pressured into becoming one, but she still has some self respect.
Anyhoo, back onto the royals. Josh and Leslie were originally underclasses, until beatrice(who was alive when she found them), saw potential in the two poor kids, brought them back to the castle. They’ve been there ever since, both intelligent and cruel. Josh, himself, also has a blonde underclass boyfriend, Trent. Nobody really knows about Josh and Trent though.
The castle is most LITERALLY filled with magic, Whenever someone in the castle gets sick, they use magic to cure it. They only use the magic for their advantage, they never use it for the citizens. There are also, some cannibals. The castle life seems so unreal. Leslie,Josh and kinda the king are cannibals, it’s not like they eat eachother or anything. Whenever a underclass dies, or someone gets executed, they get brought to the castle and the chefs cook them. It’s seems as a normal thing to them. Damien on the other hand doesn’t like the taste of human flesh, he never thought of it as wrong due to how he was raised. He’s just a bit of a picky eater, plus they never even told Damien where they got the meat from until he was maybe 13.
Back to the revolutionaries, Estella and Rebecca were alone one night after hanging out with their friends. There happened to be some rogue guards. They at first started arguing with Estella, mainly because they were weirdos and wanted to get closer to her. They eventually realized she and Rebecca were apart of the Revolution. What sad night for feminism, Estella and Rebecca both got shot on the spot, due to the anger of the guard. Their parents were paid to keep quiet. That pissed mark and Gregory off even more.
A few months later, the royals had realized Kenny kept dying and just kept coming back alive, Leslie, decided to take the case. She managed to kidnap Kenny and brought him to her,,,dissection room? It was a room she used to dissect the dead people before they ate them, to make sure there wasn’t anything weird in their intestines. She was going to take some blood, well a lot of blood from Kenny, check it out, hopefully use it to help the castle. Well Gregory and Christophe found out about it. And they weren’t happy. They managed to do a little break in to the castle and went on the find Kenny. They found him already strapped down to the table, Leslie getting ready to do what she was gonna do until Gregory and Christophe stopped the whole thing. Gregory went on to unbound Kenny to the table while Christophe went to fight Leslie. Now Christophe and Gregory both brought a weapon of their choice, Gregory bringing his cutlass while Christophe brought his shovel, Gregory doubted him at first but he was FLABBERGASTED when he saw that Christophe had pierced the shovel right in Leslie stomach, ultimately killing her. The boys left the castle with Kenny having trauma and Gregory and Christophe growing a somehow stronger bond.
A few months after that, pip and Damien were basically dating. Since Lucifer was rarely in his child’s life, Damien often snuck pip into the castle. Those two were probably the luckiest out of all of them.
Sooner or later, one night, the revolutionaries decided to raid the castle. That turned out not so good. The revolutionaries were getting killed by the guards. Josh, being the maniac he is, decided to help the guards. Poor Herbert found himself cornered by Josh, and Josh, recognizing him as Herbert, the leader of the revolutions brother, decided to kill Herbert. Josh was overly cruel to the poor boy, Josh had pulled a dagger out on his and chased him around the castle until ultimately killing him, brutally. He left Herbert for a moment and noticed mark wasn’t to far, mark had witnessed the whole killing of Herbert and lucky mark, he was next. Josh spared him, simply slicing his neck and stabbing him somewhere in the abdomen. Josh had gotten shot a few times, decided that was enough and left the castle.
Gregory had managed to sneak up to the kings study, finding him there, and shooting him right in the back of the head. Gregory hurried out of the study, he found Christophe and they both looked for a exit in the castle. Gregory had passed by a bunch of the dead revolutionaries bodies, a disgusting sight to say the least. He passed by mark and Herbert’s body and felt a horrible grief hit him immediately. Seeing his little brother and best friend dead really hurt him. Atleast he had Christophe, well barely before they made it to a exit, Josh who was exiting the castle, shot Christophe, THREE times, then made his way out. Gregory was absolutely devastated. First his sisters death, then his brothers and best friends and his love. Christophe was alive for barely enough time, he died in Gregory’s arms and Gregory lost it. I guess you could compare it to Achilles reaction to patroclus’ death. Screaming, loud. Sobbing, pulling hair out, All that. Eventually, his impulsive self grabbed his cutlass, he had nothing else to really lose. without a second thought, he stabbed himself right through the chest.
Well, during this whole thing. Damien had locked himself in his room. And pip had went to the castle to basically get Damien out. He managed to catch Damien from the window and went to the woods to hide. Afterwords it was a horrible sight to go back to the castle. Everyone’s dead, there’s no longer a king. Damien, being the prince, unfortunately had to fill in as king. Josh wasn’t even there to help out, turns out he straight up ran away from the kingdom with Trent.
Kenny and pip weren’t involved with the raiding of the castle, they decided to stay home. The only really three ones who made it out of the Revolution alive was Kenny,pip and Wendy.
Years later, Damien and pip are the kings, living happily ever after ish. AND THEY HAVE KIDS DOMINIC AND CHARLIE YIPPEE. Only downside is that the ghosts of the revolution haunt the castle, Womp Womp.
So that was revolt park explained in I guess the simplest way I could think of? Idk. But yea, I may or may rewrite it but that’s the whole story for now.
#south park#south park au#revolt park#gregory of yardale#pip pirrup#phillip pirrup#pip south park#christophe delorne#christophe south park#mark cotswolds#herbert pocket#estella havisha#estella south park#estella havisham#rebecca cotswolds#mark south park#gregory sp#gregory south park#sp christophe#christophe sp#christophe the mole#sp ze mole#the mole#sp pocket#pocket south park#damien south park#damien sp#damien thorn#pip sp#whole ass au
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I had multiple dreams about wilbur soot its fuckinf weird as shit. I keep dreaming that I go to church (which i dont go to anymore but I also don't work and am homeschooled so its the only non-home place) and like I peak in the window and see him he's always dazed and hollow looking and I always get extreme anxiety when I see him. The first 2 dreams I ignored him and walked past him carefully but this dream he made eye contact with me and I screamed "KILL YOURSELF" im so serious 😭 it was a reflex. I was scared someone in the church heard me and would like come kill me so ran out to the parking lot and climbed a tree to hide lol.
Before hating him I only dreamed of him twice and one of the times he drove an ambulance into my house.
#i have very very vivid and active dreams#i dream AS fanon!tommyinnit sometimes#mcyt#fuck wilbur soot#tw wilbur soot
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im gonna bite the next person who talks to me I fuckinf hate this place
mood
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haedcanoms ..... fro anyome yuo can thimkdj of 🙏🙏🙏🙏💥💯💯
this is gonna be. a big block of text. uve enabled me and now im gonna talk for forever. uh. :3333 (also a shit ton of my hcs are just me projecring shjt so.)
okayyyy uh. dave went to private school for like. 4 years. he didnt follow any rules and wouldve definitly gotten expelled ljke 2 weeks in but bro strider is. so fucking rich so he just payed to keep him kn. he still had to wear those stupid ass uniforms tho and now he absolutely hates wearing polo shirts. fuckinf despises them.
sollux??? massive h*r fan he makes a shit ton of uber obscure references that like no one gets but him and he makes liek anyone hes ever had a positive interaction with watch it. aradia also likes it bc he made it like impossible not to if youre close enough to him. he kinda got terezi in2 it and she really likes trogdor.ike REALLY likes trogdor.
speaking of aradia and sollux aradias like a massive goth music fan and they listen to that stuff together like all the time. he listens to more,,, mainstream ig stuff regularly but then aradia makes him listen to her entire collection whenever theyre together
Jane can speak french,,, shes not french or anything in thr SLIGHTEST but she learned it bc like. idk desserts are french sometimes. and she just randomly starts speaking french to be annoying n fuck with ppl. roxys learned a little bit from her so sometimes she does too but. rarely.
terezi sollux and feferi friendship 🙏🙏 thsyre so. important to me. i dont remember how much they imteract all together in canom ik jts at least once but... theyre literally a version of the primary colors please thsyrs so friedn group that youd think would hate eachother but they surprisingly dont
jane crochets also alongside baking. she makes people shit like. all the time and probably spends way too much on yarn. she does it while watching all those dumb sitcoms??? whatever theyte called (like parks and rec and arrwsted development and the good place. that stuff). she also sometimes hamgs out with rose and they crochet/knit together
dirk and roxy make like the most shitpost stupid meme references (more often roxy) and like no one else gets them or rreally finds them funny bc theyre all from like. 2009. or ehatever while roxy n dirk are from. the future (i forgot when and no im not lokking jt up) roxy especially has like. dumb tumblr humor and will say the weirdest shit and no one will get it except dirk
feferi sends sollux videos like "t)(is reely reminds me of you ♥️" and then its a 5 minute jerma laighing at car crashes compilation or some shit.
dave makes that type of music that either sounds like actual shit or really good depending on the person. like uber expirimental fucked up random sfx dumbest lyrics ever etc etc (idk how to describe it but like. if uve listened to like.... queef jerkey thats what im imagining)
if were imagining that quest for the missing spoon exists in homestuck (since the comics do, plus theres other stuff like movies and plushes) dirk definityly had the pepsi blue chilis centerfold cutout on his wall. i also think him and maybe roxy??? quote that shit like not even on purpose CONSTANTLY since it was such a big franchise. also i think itd be funny if people talked ab it like how they talk ab harry potter and shit like "oh my god im SUCH a geromy."
aradia plays cello. like this absolutely fucking massive one too thats like deep reddish wood and its heavy as hell and it shouldnt be feesibly possible for her to carry it around but she can skmehos??? and shes really fucking good too. she likes 2 play for fer friends n partners
feferi adores tmbg esp their earlier stuff but she likes it all. shes got a playlist of every single one of their songs she could get ahold of and badically only listesns to that one playlist. she also knows a shit ton about the band itself and knows fun facts about like every song and will NOT hesitate to infodump whenever something slightly related comes up in conversation.
sollux LOVES classic tetris hes extremely fucking good at it and knows how to do all the weird shit w/ the controller like hypertapping and rolling and honestly probably made up something new. he basically only plays past killscreen (he found an nes somehow and hacked jt to let him start anywhere) and is the type of guy to be like "Oh yeah thii2 2hiit2 ea2y here II'll giive you a begiinner level two." and then. start you at level 29.
i have more i think but i cant remember any besides like "__ is a fan of "__ !!!!!" bc i just live projecting my interests onto characters. again sorry for so many words um. 💔
#you can tell who i spend thd most time thinking about bc i actually have headcanons for them. oops#sorry if theres like an incomprehensible amount of typos i dropped my phone on the curb and half my screen is cracked so i physically cant#tell if like. a quarter of my screen has any typos. um#i say as if i care much ab typos. anyways#homestuck#headcanons#dave strider#sollux captor#aradia megido#terezi pyrope#jane crocker#roxy lalonde#feferi peixes#rose lalonde#dirk strider
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