#i hate hussle culture

[valyrra]

I have felt like this since like 8th grade

[homoeroticcartoonvillain]

I saw the first ten seconds of a TikTok the other day, it said "everyone needs five hobbies, first one to monetize," and then I immediately turned it off, before it upset me too much, like, I work two jobs, I barely have time for one hobby, and then secondly, the instant you monetize a hobby, it becomes a job, not a hobby

I guess the point is just that I hate hussle culture

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Cluster B culture is understanding the need to hate someone as stress relief because they exist but did something confusing but getting annoyed when everybody gangs up on someone who literally does not matter and does not want to matter. Someone who hasn't mattered for way over a year now. Hate someone of significance who actually did something extremely wrong (some many options) and not some guy who's only crime is not hussling hard enough, maybe not putting effort in at the end of his relationship and not making a big impression except for in person. (Reportedly) Their are bigger fishes to fry, guys and that guy is not it. Hate as stress relief if you must but not that nobody and nothing guy. Everybody's friend until people act in ways I don't want and then I get cranky.

.

[toxiccanary]

I have to say this outside of the tags, I HATE THAT SHOWS COME OUT ALL AT ONCE NOW i miss talking about a new episode or comic update every week!!!

i miss when a show would take a break after a season and we'd all excitedly theorize for what was coming next and play a game like OFF in the interum thatd sprout a mini fandom! i miss it so much!!

now im not allowed to take my time watching shows! I wish trigun stampede was a weekly release and that we'd all get hype for like trigun tuesday or whatever!! I wishy dash was filled with gifs of the newest episode and spoiler tags and in order to catch up all id have to do is set aside 25 minutes while i had dinner or something!!!!

I hate you streaming! i hate you binge culture! i hate you hussle culture! i hate you culturally shortening attention spans! I HATE YOU CAPITALISM!!!

I love you artists who change fandoms week to week, i love you fans who reblog silly doodles and dont just like it, i love you gif set makers! I love you people who fight against tgis consumer capitalist bullshit and actually sit down and Enjoy Art for what it is!

Not people saying “Fandom has always been like this” in that vent post I made. No. It hasn’t always been like this. Fandom has NEVER been like this until recently and if you were in fandom pre-tumblr purge, pre-twitter, pre-netflix boom, pre-tiktok….then you would fucking know it was nothing like this.

We still had the drive to create. We still sold prints and charms and made zines…but it was never like this.

The introduction of streaming, binge shows that drop all at once, tiktok and vine RIP i still love u vine but you were the beginning of a particularly ugly era) creating this bite sized, quick paced ‘content’ era of creation and it bled out into fucking everything else.

Fandoms didn’t die down when the show ended or the season was over. You didn’t mass unfollow artist, writers or moots just because they changed fandoms. There wasn’t this need to please the algorithm in order for your posts to get seen by people and enjoyed.

Fandoms used to last YEARS. Star Trek is literally the oldest running fandom out there and you got people in there that could care less about the new stuff and still have been happily prancing through their fucking fifty year old fandom today. Hell, even SPN after all it’s fuckups and shitshows has a dedicated fanbase STILL creating tons of art and fic.

There is no patience anymore. No calm feeling of taking in fandom and friends at a pace that which doesn’t make you stressed and is still fun.

Do I blame fandom for this? Of course not, but people are complacent with it and start changing their vocab to accommodate and end up making the situation so deep it cant be fixed.

We call Art & Fic Content now, completely stripping the value of what it is to a level of consumerism instead of personal entertainment & community bonding.

[thewytchhazel]

Ostara

It has been an insane year for me personally, I started doing Youtube a while ago and just when my passion started to ignight my best friend passed away.. I took time to heal myself and then started to step back into the world.. and then my brother passed away violently when cops pulled him over and shot him for no reason. I was in Thailand filming for YouTube and I just really couldn’t bring myself to feel inspired to do much for months after that. 

I think that is what I hate about this HUSSLE CULTURE, If we take a break we get left behind and we REALLY NEED BREAKS! We are only human. 

I personally celebrate my year around the old Celtic Pagan Wheel of the year and so I allowed myself time to heal during Imbolc and now that it is Ostara I am ready to SPRING into action! 

I haven’t used TMBLR in a while but I thought it would be nice to get my feelings and thoughts out of my head.. and maybe others can relate. 

[glittertrail]

Crush, fun fact and sage!! 🌺🏵️🌸

Crush - any irl or online crushes?

is it mortally cynical of me to say i don't really do crushes because i tend to sleep with them 😬 ? (the person i am sorta seeing rn for example, without going too far) i don't do romantic crushes often but i usually have friendship crushes, i go 'you! you're cool! let's talk' very often both online and irl (ask @supremmedeluxe or anyone else, i tend to bully my way into befriending people that way lol)

Fun Facts - what’s something people would never guess about you?

i come across as rather cheerful and nice but it is more of a coping mechanism and an active choice than it is an instinct. And that i shrunk about one third (almost half) of my body weight out of sheer self hate because i have a very strong 'this is between me and my therapist' policy about things i struggle with

Sage - what life advice would you give to someone younger?

Hussle culture is all great and good but please try to have one hobby, at least one, that you do because it brings you joy and not bc you want to make it a performance for social media nor bc you can monetize it

spring asks 🌸

[papirouge]

So roe is gone in the usa but it's still bad being a communist socialist for suggesting them to improve their healthcare to /actually/ focus on caring for pregnant women and their unborn babies lmao. Or My american cousin is like that. She complains about her healthcare being shitty but hates the idea of socialized system because "commies bad 💀". Or how she hates free school lunches for the kids but hates that she has to buy and "waste" money on food herself. Last time she blocked me for sending her a meme of that hot stalin pic you reblogged 😂

Also how are you feeling and doing! I hope you stay cool this summer! <3

Yeah this has to be the most confusing thing about the abortion discussion EVER.

When I talked with abortionists, I systemically brought up foreign countries that were doing better than the USA in delivery death and infancy mortality rates, and they literally acted like none of this could happen in the USA....as if.... actual countries with proper healthcare got them out of thin air lmao I'm literally from France, a country that has a History of workers fucking up of factories to get shit lmao. Results? 5 weeks paid leave, unemployment salary, universal healthcare (0,01% death in pregnancy rate), elders have one of the best living standards of Europe 👵👴

Like, they'll whine about Europe being too soCiAliSt (the way USAmericans seemingly conflate socialism, communism and globalism is genuinely confusing btw), but by doing this, they unconsciously admit that "socialism" is actually more efficient to build a compelling healthcare system lol

Even Poland, which is much poorer than the USA, does better on this aspect, so the narrative that building a better pregnancy healthcare requires a more solid economy is flawed. It's a political issue - not economical. Your cousin is a typical example of that. They'll value ideology (labelling anything not liberal enough) "communist", without pondering whether this "communist" model improved aspects of the life of citizens lol I think normal people wouldn't mind having a "Communist" healthcare system if it saves life 🥴

This hussle culture has to go. Money isn't real anyway. Rothschild isn't going to give you a cookie for being a loyal soldier of the big Capital fighting against the evil coMmies. We're all comrade in this inflation hellhole 🥴 lmao

[lonbergwrites]

CIA Man

This is part of a multi-part review and commentary on the book Notes From A Young Black Chef by Kwame Onwuachi.

…

So 18 weeks have passed quickly... actually, I got the audiobook back from the library much sooner than expected... so let’s get back to it, shall we?

I’ve struggled since last reading and writing about this book with some of the things that I’ve said about the author and chef. I had a lot of harsh words for his brashness and braggadocio from the previous chapters. I turned his life and experience into stories out of a novel. A little part of that is that I’m thinking a lot about novels right now, as I prepare to get back to writing one... but that’s not really it...

I cannot believe how different life is now from when I started writing this series. “Back then” I couldn’t believe how different life was from what it had been earlier this year. I was out of work and a full-time house spouse, taking care of my two young kids day in and day out. And then the events following the death of George Floyd.

I may know the streets where so much ache and hurt and unjustice overflowed in Minneapolis, but I don’t know the lives of those that suffer at the hands of unjust authority. I don’t know that much about the lives of the black community. I’m a member of an interfaith, multi-church, multi-racial organization that works to lift up everybody in my community, and do racial justice and healing. I’m not the most ‘woke’ person I know by any means, but I am really trying.

... but reading Chef Kwame’s description at the end of this chapter - a metaphor for consomme representing his life - it struck me that I was showing my privilege. I had judged him for his “lack of experience” and grouched about having worked with people with that kind of mentality. I hope that didn’t come across as “those kind of people” - I didn’t intend it to have racial overtones, because in fact I was mostly thinking about white kids (because honestly, most of the chefs I’ve known and worked with have been white people - white men in fact). But a little of my unconscious racism showed through.

Chef Kwame talks about how all of his experiences made him the perfect student - cooking with mom, learning in a high stress environment in the Gulf, slinging drugs, then candy, and then catering. He’s not wrong. He’ll admit that he bit off more than he could chew... but he went back for that education to take his life and his profession seriously... and honestly, what high achiever hasn’t bit off more than they could chew? But more than that, how many of those people make good on the bluster and suit up for the task like a professional? Quite few.

I read the last chapters’ reviews that I wrote, and I mention that:

“That’s the hubris that a lot of the people that I went to culinary school (possibly myself included, though I wasn’t too full of myself, I’d like to believe) who hit the wall and learned a lot of humility real fast when getting into a real kitchen.”

Obviously, I was - and often can still be - full of myself. I don’t know if Chef Kwame will ever read this - I know that he’s at least seen the start of these reviews as he’s liked the first few on Twitter, and has retweeted the first installment - but if I was harsh or did harm, I’d like to formally apologize. You are raw and honest, and I hope to read with a more open mind moving forward.

... back to the chapter...

The bit that brought home this chapter to me was the line: “Daytime was for consomme and braising, nighttime was for quesadillas, tacos, and espazotes.” [note here: since I’m reading on audio, I couldn’t look up the word ‘espazotes’. I’m personally not familiar with this term. I speak some Spanish, so I wrote it out phonetically, but I was unsuccessful googling it with various spellings. All I was able to get to was the herb, and I don’t think that’s what he was intending.]

When I was in culinary school, I worked a restaurant gig at night. At first it was Applebee’s. Believe me when I say that I was making nothing as fancy as he was at that indy Mexican restaurant where things were done from scratch. I was grilling steaks, thrown as I was at the highest-ranking station right away because I was in culinary school (the only other culinary student at the place was on the fryer [the lowest station on the brigade], which surprised me because of his tenure - but shouldn’t have because he was one of the few Latino cooks, most of his compatriots being dishwashers and bussers).

Within a few weeks I was quickly shown a new station because I refused to weight steaks to get them done faster, so my ticket times were too high. I later worked ‘mid,’ which was the flat top station that made the quesadillas among other things. That was a rough, sweaty, hurried place. It helped me build my hussle, even though my feelings here hurt because it was a demotion - not in pay, but in prestige.

When I left Applebee’s, I was told that it was a good thing I was going to a different style of restaurant. The Kitchen Manager said I wouldn’t make it as a career cook there because while I did have attention to detail, I didn’t do things the corporate way. I’ll huff and puff and shit on the place because what he did honestly mean was that I took my time and did things right (right not being right to Applebee’s standards), but I couldn’t keep up with the other cooks. He wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t the place for me, and I’d never survive a lifer gig there. But I was fortunate in that I didn’t need to.

After Applebee’s I worked at a small chain of mid-level Italian restaurant in what is now called the fast casual mode. Everything was from scratch (or at least from scratch at the central corporate kitchen that aided in upping the larders for the dozen or so locations in the metro area), and I was using real techniques alongside more (technically) skilled cooks, most of whom were also in various culinary programs. Here I did fit in. Here I was fast enough.

I did ruffle a few feathers on the pizza station. I worked at a Pizza Place all through college. It was the small-chain kind that did some things in a more traditional way. One of those things was tossing the pizza crust. I was really, really good at it, so on our busiest nights on the weekend, I almost always worked the pizza station because not only was I good at it, but I put on a good show in the open kitchen. An assistant manager hated me doing it - it was actually “against the corporate rules” - but the main manager and the kitchen manager loved it, and so did the crowd of families (and especially the kids) who came in every weekend. I think the other cooks saw me as a bit of a show-boater, and they weren’t wrong. But I was good at the pizza station, no one could argue that. I don’t always do things by the book, but fortunately in the right kind of environments (for me), you don’t always have to.

This point in my life the work married the studies. Chef Kwame mentions how be brought uniformity in the guise of mirepoix to his Mexican restaurant (where he was working as sous chef during culinary school - no small feat). He taught the cooks to sear their big chunks of meat before braising. This Italian place was the proper place to use my new skills in a way that Applebee’s certainly wasn’t.

The awe that Chef Kwame shows towards culinary icons, institutions, and restaurants is one I understand. It is one I’ve felt. But the thing that really struck me - especially reading this in the wake of the death of George Floyd and this much-needed tipping-point in American culture - was the section where he’s arrested coming back to school at 2am after closing at the restaurant where he worked nights.

(side note: this man was also running his catering company in NYC on the weekends! How many hours does he have in a day? Mad respect. Mad respect.)

Being pulled over by the cops if you’re black can be a death sentence in the US. He got arrested and booked because he had some outstanding parking tickets. The officer: “seemed like the kind of guy who wanders around with his hands down his pants making sure his dick is still there.” I’ve seen those officers, and it was visceral to me. I viscerally dislike and do not respect people like this. But I can do that safely. It is an eye-opener to hear the lived experiences of our brothers and sisters of other skin tones. We need to do better in America.

All of these “stories” that throw me are the lived experiences of our neighbors. We need to get in tune with what’s going on. We need to listen more. I need to listen more. There is a lot of work to be done. I’m truly looking forward to continuing on this journey with Chef Kwame.

~BPL

[kaitlynpcallmebeepme]

Food and Wine Festival

Food and Wine Festival

Tom Holland x Reader 

Warnings: Fluff and Food

Summary: A trip to Disney World, but seeing it in a new light. 

A/N: This is my first of two works I have for @peeterparkr and @marvelousxtsh (now @lovestrucktom) for their Rom Coms writing challenge. Both of them are separate from one another. I am VERY LATE on this, but I had to get my college readings annotated before band camp starts because I know I will have no time then to work at all.

#mandnchickflicksummer

I’ve only been to Epcot once on a band trip and I realized why I don’t like it (or maybe it’s just my family). I tried to do some research before writing this. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Requests are open and Messages are open if you want to chat. I’m trying to make these shorter because I’m behind on some of my writing. Also, sorry for not really putting the events in order by where they are in the park. I haven’t been there in years and forget how it’s set up. P.P.S. As I was googling stuff, the question came up on what phd does Dr. Doofenshmirtz have on reddit? The person who asked had a username of u/SEND_ME_YOUR_D1CK and that made me laugh at 5 a.m. I’m going to link the two videos that helped me out. One is from Disney Food Blog which gives great coverage on disney snacks in all parks and one is a vlog from one of my favorite youtubers, Syndicate (on his Life of Tom vlog channel)

Disney Food Blog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNk550AeBuY

Life of Tom vlog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG1-M-EqdLo

P.S. Ok, I’ve now seen Far From Home because I won a bet and my mom said she’d take me to see my first Marvel movie in theaters. I’m going to write something else about what happened that day. ♡

Tag list: Send me an ask if you want to be added. 

@trashinaglass and @peter-pan-hoe ( @definitely-not-black-cat and @nnatasha you two seemed to like my stuff so I added you, tell me if you want me to take you off) 

Song Prompt:

1. I see the light – Tangled

Word count: 1,383

This ended up being so much longer than I intended.

"Tom. Please. I've been to Disney World a million times. I can probably make it around Magic Kingdom without a map that's how well I know it." It was late summer, before the hussle of school and work swept everyone away, Tom wanted to get away for a mini vacation with you.

“Please come with me. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. And you know how much Disneyland freaks out when there's a celebrity there. Also, you can go on different things that you wouldn't normally go on.” You don’t like to admit when he’s right. Your family can be a little controlling when it comes to vacations. Like why does a baseball game need to be involved in every one.

“You know that won’t stop people from coming up to you.”

“We’ll just wear our matching bucket hats and be that couple. Please.” You couldn’t resist his puppy pout anymore, and you both needed a break.

“Ok, as long as we don't go on roller coasters if I get sick from one.” 

“I won't make you go through that. Especially the amount of stories you tell me about someone being sick on vacation.”

After a long plane ride and a good night's rest, you two are ready for a trip. You got your backpack with the old school Disney World logo ready to get your weekly tickets. You got the tickets while Tom was spending time with a couple people who noticed him. You both never minded it as long as they were respectful. You thank the lady as Tom heads back to where you’re standing. 

“Ok, you want to head to Epcot first?” 

That five letter word made you choke on your own spit.  You followed Tom up the railway to the monorail. As you waited in line, you felt the need to tell Tom what's been eating at your mind. “Tom, you know I don't really like Epcot that much.”  

“What! Why?”  

“Well, the only other time I've been here was with my family once we went on the band field trip here. You know my dad never keeps his opinion to himself about how he thinks all of this ozone layer and eco saving thing is bullshit and how he hates culture. He just kinda complained that whole day, so I've never liked the park. Also, there's more food than rides here and you know I’m not a big food guru.” 

“Is your dad coming with us?” 

“What?”

“Is your dad coming on our vacation with us?” 

“No. But what does that-.” 

“Then his opinion and voice should not affect our judgement.” To be fair, Tom has changed your opinion on a lot of things, football (English kind) being one of them. You just didn't know if you could shut up that annoying tick in the back of your head that repeats all the things your Dad would say about this place, but you were willing to give it a shot. You grabbed a food passport and map in front of the golf ball and off you two went.

Before entering the park, you booked fastpasses for the one thing you knew you loved at Epcot, and that was Sorin’. It felt like you had wings and earth with its gravity could never take hold of you again. Even with the fastpasses the line wasn’t too long because people wanted to be the first to get the food in all the countries. It reminded you how Harry would have his drones to get the cinematic videos of the ocean washing up on the beach that look gorgeous. But alas, you had to touch ground again and continue. 

You two went to have a good time eating stuff. Like you wanted to order everything from the Irish stand, except the alcohol which Tom took so you could keep the decorative cup (best boyfriend ever), so you settled on chocolate pudding with custard and the two of you split the Irish sausage with potatoes and gravy. You two weren’t worried about overfilling yourselves because 1) everyone does that at the food and wine festival and 2) there weren’t many rides that could make you throw up afterwards. 

You grab a Light Lab Phosphorescent Phreeze (you secretly wanted to collect all the cups you could) and signed up to do a Perry the Platypus adventure in the UK (just to see if Tom liked their stereotyping). “Okay, well this is from and American Disney Show Phineas and Ferb where they do a bunch of crazy stuff during the summer, and the subplot is their pet platypus is a secret agent that stops this not-so-good supervillain every episode. Dr. Dofesnberg-something was his name. You basically have to go to different shops within the country, follow the story video on our phone, and some objects will move as you interact with stuff. Basically stopping this guy from carrying out his completely elaborate and unnecessary evil scheme to rule the world.” 

“Okay, and of course it’s about golf. How can you get more British than that.” Apparently the adventure included tea once you told the cashier a secret word phrase, so yes, it got more British than golf. 

You guys stopped by Canada and you could not stop doing impressions of Ryan Renolds as you stopped for a quick snack as the Perry the Platypus mission took an hour. You ordered a Canadian Cheddar Cheese and Bacon soup with pretzel rolls to split (of which you only at the pretzels because even Tom doesn’t know why you don’t like bacon).

After the Frozen ride and a couple more snacks along the way you settled in China and watched some acrobatics and get out of the heat. You couldn’t do everything in Mexico, but the San Angel Inn would be a place you save for a different trip. You got your faces painted to be half skulls with decorative details. It definitely helped you get recognized less. 

Last stop of the night before the fireworks/water show you traveled to Japan. The architecture was realistic and you just thought of the time it took for someone to design and construct that. You both waited in line to try to see if you could get a pearl out of an oyster. You both end up getting one with the lady being very excited for you two. “Mine was 7 ¾ mm, and what was your Tom?”

“7 ½ mm. But you know size doesn’t matter.”

It wasn’t long before the fireworks and lights danced on the water’s surface and you two were heading back from a long day. Tom wanted to take the ferry boat back complaining that the line for the monorail was too long. It always is but the boat was very slow. You gave into his wishes because he was the one who made you enjoy the park today. You stood over the bow of the ship looking at your reflection upon the water until Tom broke you from your thoughts.

“So, didn't I say you would have a good time?”

 “Yes you did. My dad's opinion did not affect my judgement as much as I thought it would. It’s still hard to see things with my own opinion, but I’m getting better at it. Thank you Tom.” 

“My pleasure princess. Maybe next time we can crack some oysters and keep the pearl” You two share a sweet kiss and the fireworks in Magic Kingdom across the water started going off. Nothing could make this moment more romantic. “But there's still one more thing to do tonight.” 

“Thomas Stanley Holland. Do NOT follow that statement with ‘when we get back to the hotel’.” 

He laughed so much that he leaned back and his eyes crinkled in the corners. “Not what I was going to say darling.” You’re still confused at his intentions, until he starts playing music from his phone and holds your arms out while you two are on the tip of the boat; keeping his hands on your hips.

“Only you could turn this into a Titanic moment. “I'm flying Jack. I'm flying.”

The moment had gotten better once you realized Tom had asked a crew member to take your picture, and now you have a new phone background and a new perspective.

[ninasfireescape]

top 10 crazy ex girlfriend songs

this amazing show is coming to an end this week so because I love making lists, I thought I would recap my top 10 songs from it. This will be based on a number of things including catchiness, how well-written the lyrics are, how well-written the music is, how much they tackle social issues and how funny they are. This is just my opinion and it was a very tricky choice as there are so many good ones I had to miss out. And yes, I know most of them are from season 1 but you have to admit, that was when most of the songs were fabulous.

10. I’m a Good Person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ix3qJPS1b4

I can’t really say I find this song relatable without sounding like, well, not a good person. This song appears in an early episode of the show as Greg accuses Rebecca of being a bad person. In response she sings this but throughout the song, it becomes clearer and clearer that everything she is doing directly contradicts her words. This song is creative and has perfect comic timing with all the ways Rebecca manages to be a bad person, mic dropping into a drink, destroying the microphone, scattering chips everywhere as confetti and eventually pointing a knife at someone to make them call her a good person. It is also incredibly catchy. The reason I call it relatable is because I know I could be a less extreme version of this. I relate to Rebecca as a character a lot. In real life, my pet peeve is people who take pride in being mean. As a result, I try to be nice to everyone but the fact is I have the worst timing, I’m socially awkward and yes at times I can be mean about people. I can definitely imagine myself trying to cheer up a friend and saying something that upsets them even more by accident or trying to help someone clean up but just getting in their way or dropping everything.

9. Where’s the Bathroom?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVjq4v1B4pQ

As a Jewish girl, I love a good Jewish mother song. In one of my favourite episodes of all the show’s four seasons, Rebecca’s mother Naomi comes to visit for Chanukah (or Hanukkah). After she arrives, what follows is three straight minutes of her rapidly criticizing Rebecca and demanding to know where her bathroom while barely stopping to breathe, all accompanied by klezmer music. It is expertly composed and really showcases the talents of the actress.

8. The Math of Love Triangles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epuILDZ3KIo

I’m not sure quite what it is about this song but it really does it for me. It is one moment in the show where I have really considered how fantastic a singer Rachel Bloom is as well as an actress because the voice she does is hilarious. This song also has great lyric writing (all the triangle puns) and amazing sets and costumes.

7. You Stupid Bitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrPrr4wmnJ4

After getting too deep into a Josh-involved scheme, Rebecca sings this powerful ballad of self-hatred. I’m going to be honest, I sing this song to myself a lot, every time I slightly mess up a social interaction. I love the chandelier made out of broken glass and Rachel Bloom can belt.

6. JAP Battle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TQmo5TvZQY

A rap battle between Rebecca and her arch nemesis, both of whom are ‘Jewish American Princesses.’ I love everything about this song: the Jewish puns, the roasts, the rapping abilities of both actresses, the bad dancing, Josh sliding around on a chair, everything. It has a reprise in season 4 as well where they compliment each other.

5. The Sexy Getting Ready Song

From the very first episode of the show. Rebecca gets ready for a party. It cuts between a dreamlike sequence, similar to the fantasy world of beauty adverts and the reality of Rebecca getting ready. It is completely on the nose about the message. We all know the struggle of burning yourself on a hair straightener. The song just sounds nice in itself as well and I always show people this song when I want to get them into the show. What really makes the song though is how the episode ends. This is terrible timing but the song features Nipsey Hussle who sadly was killed this week. He begins rapping only to see all the pain Rebecca must go through to get ready and leaves horrified. The episode ends with him having a list of ‘bitches’ to apologize to and it is comedy gold.

4. Put Yourself First

I really admire how this show does not shy away from issues which most forms of even feminist media do not address. Rebecca goes to a summer camp to teach girls female empowerment when she is really just there for Josh. The teenage girls find this out and tell her to ‘Put herself first…in a sexy way.’ From this, follows a horribly uncomfortable makeover sequence. The song is again very obvious about its message: that teenage girls are being taught it is empowering and self-care to make themselves attractive. It parodies songs by girl groups such as Fifth Harmony which I like because I used to listen to their music a lot. I think rather than criticizing the teenage girls themselves, it criticizes the culture that has forced them to think this way.

3. Getting’ Bi

Wow Alexia you like a song about being bisexual? I never would have guessed that! This was most people’s, including my first interaction with the show, seeing the music video being spread around on here. Rarely do I see a show use the dreaded B-word, let alone sing about it while dancing in front of a bi flag. The show has treated bisexuality so casually and so well with three bisexual characters! It has very positive representation and this song is just such a bop. Plus it has the line “It doesn’t take an intellectual to get that I’m bisexual.” If your show doesn’t have a bisexual character playing the saxophone, are you even trying?

2. Let’s Generalise About Men

80’s Music + Hating Men = Poetic Cinema. This song, as the title indicates, features the gurl squad making ridiculous generalizations about men. Yes, we have all done this. The song, though acknowledging we can go too far sometimes, does not condemn us for this behaviour as it explains this is a “primal ritual we need now and then”.

1.  Remember That We Suffered

This song is criminally underrated although I suppose it is a hard song to understand the humour of unless you are Jewish and have lived through every festival of the year being about a story of our suffering. Yes, it does require quite a dark sense of humour. But then again, the dancing in it makes me nostalgic for my Bat Mitzvah, it has Patti Lupone, and it has the line “We sing in a minor key to remember that we suffered.” The writers really get it.

Special Mentions: Friendtopia, I Go to the Zoo, I’m the Villain in my Own Story, Who’s the New Guy?, Ping Pong Girl.

[uche88]

A Letter to Neighborhood Nip.

(Starts playing Loaded Bases ft. Cee-Lo Green by Nipsey Hussle from Victory Lap)

We lost a superhero this past weekend. His name was/is Nipsey Hussle. Hussle Man.

It goes without saying that I did not personally know the man. However, I, like millions of Hip-Hop/Rap fans world wide, knew and love(d) Nipsey. As a 30 year old Nigerian American man, generationally, I was really a fan of Neighborhood Nip. From Bullets Ain’t Got No Names to The Marathon to TMC to Crenshaw to Mailbox Money to Victory Lap, Nipsey has paved such a legendary lane not only within a very competitive west coast hip-hop scene but the culture at large, globally. I can’t help but think of the generational class of West Coast artist that Nip worked with over the years from Kendrick Lamar to YG, Dom Kennedy, OverDoz, Hit-Boy, DJ Mustard to Buddy. Nipsey is an absolute staple in modern West Coast Hip-Hop music. This is not to negate the love Nip got in the the East/ New York (where he shot some of his Rap Niggas music video) and Philly from artist like Dave East and Meek Mill. As a “street rapper”, Nipsey was way more dynamic as an artist than many other artist that the industry continued to promote more than him. Still, in 2018, Nipsey followed through and delivered his opus Victory Lap and proceeded to take his Victory Lap from All Star Weekend to The Grammys. He not only followed through in real life but also thematically and artistically with the theme  he set almost a decade ago back in 2010 between The Marathon mixtape and the Victory Lap album. The path has always been a consistent, well paced forward journey and never a sprint. This is what makes something classic and timeless. Another layer is the message in the music of critiquing gang culture through the lens of existing in an impoverished, racist, capitalist city, state and country.

For a brother like me, Nipsey Hussle was a constant source of inspiration. An Eritrean American rapper from LA with bars that held so much integrity and realism. I can’t think of the culture moving on from his lose without taking real inventory of what he contributed and showed us all within such a short span of time. Nipsey came on the scene with a gold, ice-ed out Malcolm X chain in a way that no other rap artist has done before. Nipsey made sure to distinguish himself. His entrepreneurship was next level. From investing and rebuilding in local real estate in his hood to cryptocurrency, documentaries on Dr. Sebi and business incubators like Vector 90. Nipsey showed a very forward thinking and dynamic business acumen.

Victory Lap is Nipsey at his absolute prime and it’s a shame he was taken from his family and friends at the peak of his rise in cultural, music and business stature. I can’t help but feel like this is what people of 2Pac’s generation felt when he passed, except for all the spectacle of a manufactured coastal “beef” between rappers. Nipsey’s passing truly makes no sense other than it came from the hands of pure evil and jealousy that Nipsey never deserved. This evil is not unique to America, the country that is historically known for devouring its most prolific and prophetic citizens.

My two biggest, lingering thoughts about the way he passed are how his killer was not only part of the same “gang” but that he was technically the same “skin-folk” but obviously not kin-folk. The self hate is so real in this situation. It’s something that Meek Mill has talked a lot about in regards to the black female judge who sent him to jail for popping a wheelie. In the song “Gringing All My Life” Nipsey raps, “Damn right, I like the life I built/ I'm from west side, 60, shit, I might got killed.” Nipsey knows his life is not promised in such a violent area but still is rightfully prideful for building a positive business infrastructure where his family, friends and neighborhood can thrive at. The line gives me chills in light of his passing.

I pray they resurrect a statue in his owner and continue his visionary legacy of revamping his neglected neighborhood while empowering the people to strive for better.

Long Live Neighborhood Nip.

Nipsey Hussle, Ermias Joseph Asghedommay, may your legacy and blueprint last forever.

Much love. RIP.

[afrohouseking]

BET Awards 2019: Complete List Of Winners

BET Awards 2019: Complete List Of Winners

Afro House King

Jun 24

The 2019 BET Awards kicked off with a performance by Cardi B, who came into the night leading with 7 nominations and, not surprisingly, picked up the award for album of the year for her “Invasion of Privacy.” Other top nominees included Drake with 5, and Beyonce, Travis Scott and J. Cole, each with four. Bruno Mars, 21 Savage, Childish Gambino, H.E.R. and Ella Mai also received multiple nominations. The show, which is in its 19th year, aired live from downtown Los Angeles’ Microsoft Theater .

The BET Awards recognize winners across 20 categories in a “celebration of black culture.” Connie Orlando serves as executive producer along with Jesse Collins, CEO of Jesse Collins Entertainment.

Picking up the first award from best New artist, Lil Baby said, “It’s an amazing feeling. I can’t even believe it.”

His win was followed by one from the “youngest baller in the game” — 14-year-old “Black-ish” star and entrepreneur Marsai Martin, who picked up the Young Stars Award. The late Nipsey Hussle received a posthumous award for best male hip-hop artist and ShoMadjozi (South Africa) for Best New International Act.

afrohouseking.com New Afro House, Gqom, Deep House & Soulful House Music

See the full list of winners below (marked with *):

Album of the Year

Travis Scott, “Astroworld”

Meek Mill, “Championships”

Ella Mai, “Ella Mai”

The Carters, “Everything Is Love”

* Cardi B, “Invasion Of Privacy”

Best Female R&B/Pop Artist

* Beyoncé

Ella Mai

H.E.R.

Solange

Sza

Teyana Taylor

Best Male R&B/Pop Artist

Anderson .Paak

* Bruno Mars

Childish Gambino

Chris Brown

John Legend

Khalid

Best Group

Chloe X Halle

City Girls

Lil Baby & Gunna

* Migos

The Carters

Best Collaboration

21 Savage Ft. J. Cole “A Lot”

Cardi B & Bruno Mars “Please Me”

Cardi B Ft. Bad Bunny & J Balvin “I Like It”

H.E.R. Ft. Bryson Tiller “Could’ve Been”

* Travis Scott Ft. Drake “Sicko Mode”

Tyga Ft. Offset “Taste”

Best Male Hip Hop Artist

21 Savage

Drake

J. Cole

Meek Mill

* Nipsey Hussle

Travis Scott

Best Female Hip Hop Artist

* Cardi B

Kash Doll

Lizzo

Megan Thee Stallion

Nicki Minaj

Remy Ma

Video Of The Year

21 Savage “A Lot Ft. J. Cole”

Cardi B “Money”

Cardi B & Bruno Mars “Please Me”

* Childish Gambino “This Is America”

Drake “Nice For What”

The Carters “Apes**T”

Video Director of the Year

Benny Boom

Colin Tilley

Dave Meyers

Hype Williams

* Karena Evans

Best New Artist

Blueface

City Girls

Juice Wrld

* Lil Baby

Queen Naija

Dr. Bobby Jones Best Gospel/Inspirational Award

Erica Campbell Ft. Warryn Campbell “All Of My Life”

Fred Hammond “Tell Me Where It Hurts”

Kirk Franklin “Love Theory”

* Snoop Dogg Ft. Rance Allen “Blessing Me Again”

Tori Kelly Ft. Kirk Franklin “Never Alone”

Best International Act

Aka (South Africa)

Aya Nakamura (France)

* Burna Boy (Nigeria)

Dave (Uk)

Dosseh (France)

Giggs (Uk)

Mr. Eazi (Nigeria)

Best New International Act

Headie One (Uk)

Jokair (France)

Nesly (France)

Octavian (Uk)

* ShoMadjozi (South Africa)

Teni (Nigeria)

Best Actress

Issa Rae

Regina Hall

* Regina King

Taraji P. Henson

Tiffany Haddish

Viola Davis

Best Actor

Anthony Anderson

Chadwick Boseman

Denzel Washington

Mahershala Ali

* Michael B. Jordan

Omari Hardwick

Young Stars Award

Caleb Mclaughlin

Lyric Ross

* Marsai Martin

Michael Rainey Jr.

Miles Brown

Best Movie

* Blackkklansman

Creed 2

If Beale Street Could Talk

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

The Hate U Give

Sportswoman of the Year

Allyson Felix

Candace Parker

Naomi Osaka

* Serena Williams

Simone Biles

Sportsman of the Year

Kevin Durant

Lebron James

Odell Beckham Jr.

* Stephen Curry

Tiger Woods

2019 Coca-Cola Viewers’ Choice Award

Cardi B, Bad Bunny & J Balvin “I Like It”

Childish Gambino “This Is America”

Drake “In My Feelings”

* Ella Mai “Trip”

J. Cole “Middle Child”

Travis Scott Ft. Drake “Sicko Mode”

BET Her Award

Alicia Keys “Raise A Man”

Ciara “Level Up”

* H.E.R. “Hard Place”

Janelle Monáe “Pynk”

Queen Naija “Mama’s Hand”

Teyana Taylor “Rose In Harlem”

Download the latest Sho Madjozi Music

Africa Express — No Games (feat. Sho Madjozi, Moonchild Sanelly, Muzi, Ghetts, Poté & Radio 123)

Sho Madjozi — If I Die

Sho Madjozi — Limpopo Champions League

Sho Madjozi — Idhom

Sho Madjozi — Kona

[fiyaamusic]

🎨Artwork by: @iam_veli 🙏🏽 rip Nipsey Hussle🕊🕯 Mogul and they know that Logo on my floor mat Courtside Chamberlain throwback match my Rolex Everywhere I go, flex Vallet park on some loc shit Whole lot of smoke in that 'Rari, that thing potent Burning rubber, wearing cameras, they was undercovers Under pressure, made statements, turned on they brothers Never judge you, but the streets will never love you I wonder what it come to in your brain for you run to Ones that hate us and cuff us and mace us Call us dumb niggas 'cause our culture is contagious Third generation, South Central gang bangers That live long enough to see it changing Think it's time we make arrangements Finally wiggle out they mazes Find me out in different places And 'The Spook By The Door' this the infiltration Double back, dressed in blue laces #nipseyhussle #victorylap #bluelaces2 #naybahoodnip #slausonboy #allmoneyin #themarathon #themarathonclothing #TMC #drsebi #crenshaw #musix #ripnipsey #losangeles #art #graffiti #photooftheday #videooftheday #prolific #LA #compton #60s (at Crenshaw and Slauson) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvz01g7lP4r/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fmsi1k0p1jps

[inhibited-irregularity]

Have these people ever actually talked to a radical feminist or read the literature? Radfems advocate for free speech and are anti-censoring, and we encourage discussion. If we don't approve of a certain thing, we want to analyze it and study its aspects in order to understand it better. And WHERE does radical feminism blame women for anything? Radical feminism stands for women's liberation, and it centers and prioritizes women. It's about abolishing patriarchy and all its institutions and methods, such as capitalism, gender roles and prostitution. Since smear-campaigns on this site spread like wildfire and many well-meaning people end up believing them, I'm going to be very clear and write a short 101.

- We are against porn and prostitution, since those industries profit off of and promote violence towards women and children, and it's inherently dehumanizing. That DOES NOT mean we are against sex or sex workers. The only people I've met that actually listen to the stories of sex workers and actually want to help them and amplify their voices are radfems. The mainstream media will only listen to the stories of a few middle-class camgirls that talk about it as an empowering side-hussle, or anyone willing to call it "liberating" - not the countless "why I got out and how it was traumatic" reports of prostituted women/children/gay men from all fields of "sex work" ,from camming, to pornography, to the actual streets.

- We are against beauty and fashion industries, since they promote unhealthy beauty standards for women and girls and cater to the male gaze and pedophile culture. Beauty and fashion industries can directly be linked to eating disorders, body dysphoria and mental illness. We believe girls are worth much more than their looks and should be freed from harmful influences and they should stop wasting their money, time and energy obsessing over looks and perception and do something meaningful and fulfilling instead. Liberal feminism and the modern left love parroting the idea that makeup is empowering/a choice/ an expression etc, and it could be for some, but the truth is that that can't be an objective fact when we live in a society that requires women to wear makeup and alter their bodies, and equates makeup with professionalism and hygiene. WE DO NOT hate or criticize individual women that enjoy fashion and makeup (I occasionally wear it ffs) nor do we ever shame individual women for their choices regarding makeup and clothing, but we do criricize the industries and rebranding of gender roles and performing femininity as "empowering" and pushing them on women all the same. We want a society where it actually becomes a choice and a way of expression, not the required default. Liberal feminists' and woke culture's rhetoric doesn't change or challenge the status quo. We want girls to know they shouldn't be pressured into it, and that rejecting the whole thing is a valid option. We don't want empowerment for girls, we want to give them actual power.

- Refusing to recognize rebranding and marketing of the same oppressive gender roles and compulsive femininity performing as feminist and empowering DOESN'T a)blame women b) equate to being anti-women c) endorse conservativism. In fact, most radfems are a) lesbians b) women of color c) gender non-conforming d) pro abortion and sex-education e)LGB activists and advocates for minorities. And yes, we include trans men in our feminism. WE PRIORITIZE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF AND FAIR OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS, so we do not believe trans women belong in female spaces such as locker rooms/safe houses/bathrooms/lesbian bars, due to their male anatomy, and we can't recognize them as actual women due to their male socialization and biology. HOWEVER; we do recognize them as TRANS women, and will support their basic human rights. They deserve not to be harassed or attacked and not to be refused job/housing/medical care/marriage certificate etc. due to their trans status. Insisting on entering all-female spaces is however a privilege, not a right, and it infriges on rights and safety of women and girls, especially when there are a lot of gender-neutral and trans inclusive spaces to begin with. I would also like to point out that trans women per se are not our biggest concern, rather a lot of predatory/autogynefile men that USE trans activism and its ideology to invade female spaces in order to abuse or gain an unfair advantage (look up Jessica Yaniv or Falon Fox or Aimee Challenor), and current identity politics just enables all of that. Look up all the instances of male rapists/abusers/sex offenders claiming the trans status or using it to get away with their crimes and abuse further - Just look up "trans inmate abused female inmate" and look how many results pop up. "Gatekeeping" isn't meant to invalidate transwomen, it's meant to protect women and girls, and if those two are mutually exclusionary, then it's not hard to see the problem. I personally have nothing against respecting a transwoman's pronouns, but I'm not going to think it's fair that we compete in the same marathon or that I'm reduced to a "birthing body" or a "non-penis haver" in order to be inclusive.

- Biology and gender. Gender is a men-made social construct meant to opress women, and it's a result of sexist interpretations of female biology. Women are more than their bodies, but to ignore that women have been and still are oppressed because of their bodies is plain stupid. In order to achieve fairness, biology must be taken into consideration. Women are in general physically inferior to men; HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that we're inferior in any other regard. This means that the whole brain-sex thing is bs (proven multiple times) and that a woman can do any job that doesn't rely strictly on muscles and explosivity as competently as any man. Denying biology is denying women safety, protection and fairness (an average woman can't fight off a male attacker using only physical strength, and an average male will outperform an average female in most sports). Recognizing both female biology and women as people leads to fairness - A woman is as competent as a man, and she shouldn't be denied a job because of prejudices and/or biology of her sex - The employer shouldn't automatically assume a woman will get pregnant and need to take leave, but In the case that she does, she should be provided decent pay and care (this is where we have a problem with capitalism)

That's all I can think of in short. I'm only a baby radfem, but I'm happy to recommend more knowledgeable women if I wasn't clear enough. I was a libfem for most of my life, and unquestionably supporting of the trans population, and I was weirded out by the amount of hate radfems get, which got me to inform myself. I'm sick of the blatant lies and propaganda such as in the post above, so I had to give my perspective. I won't reply to hate-mail, but everyone is free to read and interact. How are people supposed to form opinions on stuff if they don't check it out for themselves, and what kind of liberal movement forbids it's followers to read and/or interact with people that share different views?

“What I’m seeing from being very deep into tumblr is that the gaze has become so academic and hypercritical that everyone’s afraid to do anything. The only way to never be “problematic” is effectively to be silent. Added to that, there’s a lot of radical feminism (not “extreme feminism” but a specific ideology separate from mainstream/liberal feminism) which is more Victorian and focuses on blaming women for the patriarchy because they weren’t perfect moral guardians. This means that all fiction is expected to serve an aspirational/inspirational function, rather than other functions stories could have, like excitement, catharsis, exploring darker parts of the psyche, etc. This means that we’re seeing a resurgence of the Utopian genre of fiction which was popular with women writers in the Victorian era, which basically exists to posit an ideal society, and equal parts inspire you to aspire towards it, and shame you for not being that perfect yet. Utopian/aspirational fiction isn’t all bad–that’s what Star Trek was, after all. But as the sole form of acceptable writing, I find that incredibly limiting.”

—

from ‘I think the general mindset and culture of Tumblr is effecting what people choose to write about in fic’ (via fanlore.org)

^ THIS. 

(via swiftsnowmane)

I know that even while I ostensibly support the right of everyone to write what the fuck they want (while believing we should all think carefully about whether what we write is compassionate and accurate particularly concerning groups of people different from ourselves) I know I feel a weird guilt about writing characters not behaving properly concerning e.g. consent even though it’s part of their CHARACTER that one of them is reckless and one of them is desperate for approval and a muddying of consent is what would HAPPEN.

(via airyairyquitecontrary)

@rhodanum

(via prismatic-bell)

[stonedonocean]

RIP Nipsey Hussle..

This shit really upsetting. Not just a great artist but a positive influence on the culture. Sometime I hate the world we live in..

[nacsygen]

here’s a fun fact i haven’t shared that’s been going on for a LONG time: at my work, for our logins, we have to change our alphanumeric passwords every quarter.  after my first password, which i wasn’t thinking about beforehand so just used an old reliable of mine, i thought “hmm, well, this will be easier to remember if i have a system.  hey...17 has thirteen members, and i know their age order, bc that’s how i learned their names to begin with.  i can start with one based on seungcheol and go down the line, and if i get all the way to chan, well, i’ll know i’ve been at this job too fucking long.”

welp.  i’m on minghao now.

however, with the way life is going, it’s looking like seungkwan’s gonna be my last Password Boy...bc YA BOI IS MOVING TO ATLANTA

probably. most likely.  by early summer.

it occurs to me that while i often share anecdotes of the past, i don’t make many posts about my current circumstances.  considering this is a new account, with far fewer followers and mostly mutuals, i think i’ll be making more blog-style posts here now.

for those who are newer or just haven’t seen me mention it, i’m currently a scribe, a transcriptionist/editor, working out of an almost call-center-like office in a florida college town.  thankfully, having also done call center tech support work, the difference is we just process recordings.  (dealing with tech support was so stressful, i got fucking scabies at 23 and missed a month of work, but that’s a story for another day). being a scribe is a phenomenally boring and isolating job, for the most part, and one i am very good at.  it’s a very safe job for me, in a lot of ways.  it sucks and i hate it, as one can find with basically all scribes throughout history, but it also takes a very particular set of skillsets, ones i happen to have, that make it easy as fuck.  there’s good and bad. i set my own hours, within reason. there’s very little management meddling as long as i don’t fuck up. i can easily be a bit late and never have anyone talk to me about it as long as i get my hours done.  however, it’s physically painful to sit and type for hours and hours, and psychically damaging, i’m sure, to spend hours a day wishing i was doing something else, to be paid a pittance (but it’s still above minimum wage so i guess i should be grateful?) as a skilled and experienced laborer to type all day about other people’s money, regularly including people who make as much in a month as i do in a year.  on the other hand, my gods are some of the oldest and coolest (my favorites are seshat and nabu), and at this point, after almost 4,000 hours of doing this, i’d have to actively work to get fired.  it’s safe.  there’s no opportunity for advancement, there’s no sense of my time meaning something in the grand scheme of things, there is no meaning at all.  i am grease in the wheels of capitalism.  it robs me of the energy and prime writing hours to use my hands to put down my own words, not someone else’s.  but it’s safe.

my apartment’s getting sold out from under me in a few months, and i was initially panicking, thinking about how i could find new roommates, where i could live that would be easily accessible to my work without a car, even looking up info about the apartment complex next door to it - which, between work, home, and publix, would limit most my external world to about a square mile.

then i was at work earlier this week and realized...why am i having so much anxiety about being able to keep a job i fucking hate?

change is terrifying to me.  it’s part of my coping mechanisms with my untreated adhd, i’ve come to realize (with the help of  friends who have diagnosed adult adhd and are like no, yeah, you absolutely have it).  i have to keep a very regimented rhythm of life just to function at all, which took me way too far into my 20s to even figure out.  i need to wake up around the same time every day, get dressed to leave at the same time every day, make sure my wallet is in the outside pocket of my bag, my key is in the front pocket, i’ve got my publix bag rolled up in my purse (and now that it’s winter a hat and gloves just in case), and my umbrella (also just in case), and my tablet that was a gift from my beau (loaded up with pages to read offline while waiting for and on the bus), and a paper book or two (in case for some reason i can’t read on the tablet), and a snack for mid-shift so my stomach won’t spend all day hating me.  all of this i verify both before i leave my room and before i close the locked front door behind me, especially the wallet and key.  

if this sounds dreadfully mundane, please understand, i had to learn to make this a regimented routine, every step of which i need to consciously account for even while half asleep, or else i will forget something.  more than once this compulsive checking to make sure i have my wallet and my key a second time before locking the door has saved my entire day.  all that before even leaving the house.  i had to learn this on my own to quiet the constant racing anxiety that put me in the ER a couple years ago with an inability to even keep down food because i had no idea how to be a functioning independent person.  and so much of that is mentally tied to this apartment, to this job, bc at 26 years old a couple years ago, after over a decade of battling depression and adhd and finally getting treatment for the first, at least, i was finally equipped to and also forced to become an independent human being in a capitalist society.  and it was terrifying.  but routine is safe, now.  i do the same thing every day during the week, at the same times of day, and sleep in a bit on weekends and do nothing.  time passes and passes.  i invent games and new routines for the day, meaningful boxes to tick, just to establish meaning back into my life.

i’m getting too far off track.  sorry, it’s the adhd.

the point is, change is terrifying.  but my beau - sorry for the awkward term, but “beau” and “sweetheart” fit us better than bf and gf, especially considering gender and long-distance stuff - told me as soon as i told him the news about the apartment that i could always come to live with him. i dismissed it as last resort at first.  like, we’ve known each other for almost 10 years, more couple-y than ever the last two, and he visits me when he can.  we’ve never lived in the same city, but in a sense, we both were there to watch each other grew up, despite that we first started talking as friends when i was probably 19 or 20 and he was 31.  now i’m 28 and he’s 40.  he’s inspirational to me, because for a long time, he was living the kind of life i am now - working bullshit jobs that don’t mean anything, working and living to survive, scrounging meaning and joy in independent scholarship and pop culture.  but somewhere in his mid-30s, he changed the whole direction of his life to throw himself into a career in film production.  it takes an extraordinary amount of self-motivation, courage, fearlessness, energy, time, EVERYTHING to live the kind of life he does, living the freelance life, going from shoot to shoot all across the southeast, constantly on the hussle.  but he has a career.  he’s doing something amazing that he’s good at and he loves, and bc he’s about the most likable guy alive, he has contacts everywhere, through all levels of the industry. and he’s just about the most capable person i know.

so when i had my realization, why am i so worried about keeping this job i hate, i realized swiftly on its heels that i was just terrified of change.  i wanted to keep things safe, even if it was a marginal existence - still, a safe one.  but change can also bring opportunity.  moving in with him wouldn’t just be an act of charity on his part, but helping the person he loves to make a meaningful change forward in life.  Atlanta is the capitol of the South.  i could get a job in publishing in atlanta.  i could get a job in the film industry in atlanta (fun fact: georgia is now the center of film production on the east coast.  he knows a ton of people that worked on stranger things!). i could write for a living in atlanta.  i could be a script doctor like Carrie Fisher, i could edit for a living for more than some finance office’s memoranda ephemera, i could have a life where i was able to create, and not just in my spare time and for fun.  i could live in atlanta, and not just survive. my beau, as mentioned, has contacts everywhere, and has already hooked me up with a couple writer-type-creators in the industry to mentor me.  i can do it.  i will do it.  even my mom said i’ll do better there than in the waypoint city i’m in now (and also helpfully reminded me she rents uhauls now as part of her own self-owned business).

tl;dr either in april or june, depending on what i can convince my current fairly indulgent landlord on, i’ll be moving to Atlanta and starting a whole new life.  my beau has a two-bedroom (thank god, bc if i’ve learned anything from long-term moved-in relationships is that i need my space, and he also agrees on that on his end) and his place is less than a mile away from a publix and also a main bus line and a MARTA station, so i could be easily independent as a non-driver (important not just from a relationship standpoint, but also bc realistically he’s only home about a week out of a month, cumulatively). also, he has a cat! a tabby boy named dalek! bc he’s a fucking nerd!