#i hate being. hopeless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angellurgy2 · 24 days

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#i hate being. hopeless #im gonna have nowhere to go soon enough and I'll die homeless but.#im not saying ill do anything obvs just. thinking abt ways to die first and. i wish i couldve been anything. i wish i couldve-#-been an actual artist. actually make all the things i wanted to make for so long #i wish i couldve had friends. had anyone. i wish i wasnt forced into this hole that i cant get out of. no matter how hard i try im stuck #with the despair and loneliness. im destined to dir and not be anything or have anyone and i hate it so much i wish i couldve rlly lived #sorry for posting depressed i have nothing else to so at all

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claitea · 13 days

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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them

#pokemon #volo #pokemon volo #pokemon jacq #n harmonia #pokemon rei #trainer rei #clai's art #trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason #in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF #but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless #jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible #n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it #but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end #isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways #satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally #or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter #volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk

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claireclaymore · 10 months

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"Katniss did so little for Peeta"

What the hell!!!

She wanted die for him! Kill for him! Accepted be the Mockingjay to save him!

When he came back brainwashed and hating her, the girl was literally suicidal! And when he got better, a single conversation with him made her get out of her depressive state and start living again!

How this is little?!!!

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woman-respecter · 3 months

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if i start seriously considering going to law school one of you needs to shoot me

#me everytime i feel hopeless: you know who could crush the lsat? me.#even tho i would hate being a lawyer and my current field has nothing to do with it

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possamble · 3 months

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AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille

i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.

that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.

idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?

like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.

i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh

#asks #tunnel anon #screencapped so it doesn't show up in the l*imar tag #anyway don't read these tags if lesbian marcille is your truth. you're real for that and i would never oppose that #but i guess im in the bisexual marcille camp for a couple of reasons (first and foremost being that ryoko kui is like.#a fabulous incredibly likely bisexual and marcille is clearly her Specialest Little Guy so it feels only fair)#so technically laios and marcille “dating” is a possibility in my head but such an insanely depressing one that i don't give it much though #like yeah sure marcille is capable of being attracted to him and even having feelings for him if he pursued her intensely enough #but that's the paradox. he wouldn't.#once again. equally happy to be her husband or brother in law bc he doesn't understand being attracted to women #and dearest marcille needs more than that.#little neurotic dragoness bunny who needs to be desired and wanted with an all-consuming passion #hopeless romantic freakassishly monogamous cringe darling who needs to be “the one” for her partner in order to thrive in a relationship #because she wants to be given as good as she's giving and nothing less (and boy does she give!! she gives her everything!!)#so i vastly prefer her never developing feelings for him bc he never decides to pursue her in a way she can't ignore #over them getting together and her self-esteem taking hit after hit as he demonstrates no romantic passion for her #like yes it's toxic and ridiculous. but let's be so real. if someone blatantly flirted with her and he did nothing and felt nothing #she'd be crying herself to sleep feeling unwanted and unessential and “not even worth getting jealous abt” bc she's Like That.#while he starts to hate himself more and more for not being able to give her what she needs #kissing them on the head and tucking them safely into my personal canon. i could never do that to them.#also marcille being the first and foremost thing that laios and falin “fight” over in a way where falin is finally able to assert herself i #yknow??

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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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toastedtitaniumalloy · 6 months

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Vent about being ace~~

Being a hopeless romantic who is also on the asexual spectrum is exhausting! For some reason, people hear the term "asexual" and assume that you don't want any type of intimacy, but that is not true at all! Yes, some people on the ace spectrum may not desire it, but we are all different and unique individuals. Just talk to us!?

I want to be held, kissed, and do cute things together while also having arguments like an old married couple! I crave intimacy in ways that are difficult to explain; I do not want it to be solely seen as a pathway to sex. I enjoy being affectionate and cuddly, but I have yet to find a partner who can appreciate that without also expecting sex from me or pressuring me to be sexual. While I understand that sex is tthe bee's knees or whatever, it is not something I desire. I do not want to be sexualised!!

Sex is like sprinkles on a sundae; it may be great for those who enjoy it, but it is not essential for a delightful dessert! A sundae consists of many other components that contribute to its overall deliciousness, and sprinkles are simply an added bonus. It is perfectly acceptable to enjoy sprinkles; do not let anyone make you feel ashamed for liking them. However, they are not my preference, and it seems that many individuals believe that they are necessary for a sundae to truly be a sundae.

No matter what societal norms say, sex is not required for a relationship to be "real".

Sex does not define a relationship! ALSO, pressuring someone into engaging in sexual activities is hurtful. Even if you are not explicitly pressuring them, it is unkind to act offended or inconvenienced when someone who has clearly stated their lack of interest in sex establishes their boundaries.

And just because someone identifyies as being "on the asexual spectrum" rather than strictly "asexual" does not indicate an openness to engaging in sexual activities in the future. It simply means that we fall somewhere on the asexual spectrum!!!

Ugh!!!!!!

#asexual #hopeless romantic #rant post #rant #vent post #i hate that sex is the end all be all of relationships #it kinda makes me what to hit cis het allo people with a car 😅#asexual spectrum #asexuality #acespec #asexual pride #i didnt even get into the part where being non-binary just makes everything even more complicated and frustrating #when i put this into goblin tools to make sure i spelled everything right #i also put it through thesaurus mode for shits and giggles #thesaurus mode said if it was one word it would be #misunderstood

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caffeinatedopossum · 9 months

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I'm experiencing symptoms of the mental illness known as Been Awake Too Long

#ah Been Awake Too Long... we meet again #symptoms of BATL (omg the acronym is literally BATTLE lmao) may include but are not limited to:#thinking everyone hates you #thinking you hate everyone else and/or yourself #deep yearning for things once lost #hopelessness about your goals #experiencing Gender (the bad way)#experiencing or questioning sexuality (also the bad way)#memory loss #contemplating your mortality inevitable death and the fragility of life #thinking 'i should text them'#sudden tearfulness #delirium #loss of all wordly attachments and sense of self #talk to your doctor to see if Going The Fuck To Sleep may be right for you #side effects may include being cozy and saying honk shoo mimimi

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stabyou · 4 months

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the way i need genuine intense psychological rewiring just so i can talk to people in a normal setting is just crazy to me. i would ask what happened to me but i have always been this way, it just keeps getting worse and worse

#autism of course doesnt help but i just. wow i cant even reply to mutuals' posts. i cant even like or reblog some posts bc i feel bothersome #i know it shouldnt all be about me but i have nothing to be confident about. i am so embarrassed of myself and how i act...#i dont want to subject people to me and im too scared to be friends with anyone anyway. so i just run away and hide #but im going crazy all alone im so jealous and mean and filled with anger and guilt #i just wanna be normal. avpd makes my life feel hopeless and devoid.. but maybe its just best. i am irredeemable and so cringe #its shown to me all the time and i cant convince myself otherwise #i haven't been suicidal in a while but i have been sleeping 16 hours a day bc i cant fathom being awake and existing as me #existing all alone and without anyone to turn to #and even the ppl i talk to i just cant let myself be vulnerable and be myself. its like i don't know how #like im always hiding the core of me bc if people find out the truth they will hate me..#honey's words

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sleepysuccubi · 1 month

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do yall ever have those moments where you’re like wow im literally so sad so depressed nothing good will ever happen every again and then you’re like oh right it’s bc my period is about to start

#fucking Christ #I hate being a woman sometimes #if I had money I would just have the doctor sterilize me bc jfc I hate this so much #just sitting here like damn why do I feel so sad and hopeless #oh bc its werewolf time

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brown-little-robin · 2 months

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yeag

#Robin processes emotions on main #living with my parents is going so wellllll #I'm thivingggggg #overall it's fine I'm just. rrrrrrrrrr IT'S SO HARD TO FEEL LIKE AN ADULT THIS WAY I'm always caught in this defensive mode #which ends up making me self-destructive because I feel like doing good / being proactive is What My Parents Want Me To Do #so then I associate doing good mentally with loss of autonomy and it's making me freak out #cycles of depression... cycles of SOMETHING anyway #I need a job so bad. I need stability. and therapy. man... I want therapy so bad but I just cannot afford it rn #and moving out? (hopeless laugh) in this economy??#WAUGH #I just hate feeling like everything I'm doing is being watched!!! hate it so much!!! it's making me self-destruct!!!#okay I'm done <3 handing you a scone if you've read this far #with the power of God and anime on my side I just might make it out of here someday

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translesbianfoxgirl · 3 months

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Man I'm open to polyamory and the idea of just being in a lesbian harem just popped into my head now I'm have life and writing ideas that will probably both go nowhere

#guys im hopeless #please ladies just cuddle me #i just wanna be loved by pretty ladies #thats my end goal #i hate being alone

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sonicranger1 · 3 months

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Completely random question that has nothing to do with anything I'm working on but let's say someone goes through some unimaginable, completely terrible unstoppable pain

And the only way they see in the moment they can get relief from it is stabbing themselves in the chest with a rock, would that make sense or is that just something a edgy and cringey 10 year old Shadow the Hedgehog fan would come up with (no offense to 10 year old Shadow the Hedgehog fans)

#being this vague may not help my case but whatever *I* control how much i embarrass myself on my blog #anyway i need some brutal honestly here. pretend I'm your annoying most hated sibling or something if need be idk #my ramblings #oh and this mystery person has also gone through possible months of Isolation beforehand if that helps #so like they're having a super fun okie dorey time and def not in a honestly hopeless situation #typing this at 12-1AM is probably a bad idea but I'm gonna be busy tomorrow so

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sortanonymous · 3 months

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Everybody: "Sure, the Angry Birds fandom is annoying with how much they've shouted "BringBack2012", but at least they're not queerphobic!

Me: "Just look at the comments under all their Pride posts (at least on YouTube) and see if you're still right."

#toxic fandom #angry birds #the angry birds fandom may be the most underhated fandom on the planet #you'd think that whatever fandom remains of a nostalgic mobile game series that peaked 12 years ago wouldn't be that bad #but wow you would not believe how bad it's been for the past half-decade #it's to the point where even the youtuber who started the “bringback2012” hashtag innocently enough disowned it within a year #AND THAT'S WHERE WE WERE 5 YEARS AGO #like i get it the franchise we grew up with has been a dump for nine years now but do you really have to be so toxic about it?#as a hopeless angry birds fan myself looking at these comments for the past few years has been pure cringe #there's respectful ways to want the franchise to be good again and then there's being a bunch of babies (literally a lot of them sound 7)#i don't normally like saying this but if you're being this much of a hateful brat over angry birds: GROW UP!#geez sega can't catch a break with owning franchises with toxic fanbases #one commenter even once said under a post “bring back the games or you'll never see your family again!”#like geez at this point i almost want the old games to stay dead just so they won't appease to these clowns #you realize there's mods to play and literal thousands of old levels to replay right?#sorta rants

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no27-autonation-honda · 26 days

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another weekend, another job rejection!

#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal #Of Working In A Fucking Library #just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises #anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or #graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal #relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and #be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges #i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is #everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me #2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to #go further into debt #anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s #everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333 #like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails

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ssaraexposs · 3 months

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Why is he kinda....

#i'm kinda hopeless #i very dislike him right now #yet i can't hate him still #he's so damn good at being a villain #and he has yet to kill one of my favs #fyodor you're on thin ice #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd #bsd manga #bsd 115 #bsd ch 115 #bungou stray dogs

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