#i hate Troy

[eponastory]

Troy.

But way better.

Rating: M

Legnth: 42 badass chapters (around 260k glorious words)

Warnings: A fair bit of blood, violent war scenes, sex, Zhao being a fucking coward and someone I really hate... and character death.

I can't tell you how much I hate the movie Troy... I hate it. It doesn't even follow the Iliad. Some of the events in the movie add up, but most don't and it's just... awful.

That being said, Annakpok is written way better.

It's more of a strategic war epic in the way that Homer's epic is rather than a full-on romance. Granted, romance is what caused the war in the first place if you haven't touched any of the Trojan War historics. The romance between Zuko and Katara is built up rather nicely and doesn't seem empty like in the movie with Hector/Achilles and Briseis/Andromache. The romance between Sokka and Yue is also not as empty as Paris and Helen in the movie (it's all Paris' fault anyway for choosing Aphrodite's offer, and he's an idiot. I would've gone for Hera's offer... actually, it's all Aphrodite's fault for being the crazed weirdo she is), and it's not even delved into in the Iliad itself, so eh. At least we don't have the lists (Godzilla, the lists of the freaking Iliad is... frustrating) or the very cringe worthy moments of the Troy movie (I hate it so much).

I digress.

This is not a bad review of this story. I love it. It's probably the best version of the Trojan War (without it being the Trojan War and set in the AtLA universe) that really works in other media. It was emotional, suspenseful, and freaking action packed.

Darius, level with me here... are you a history nerd like me who loves battle tactics and uses them in your works frequently? If so, I fucking love you.

The detail in this story is absolutely amazing, right down to the way weapons are used. I love it. Love love love.

I'm not going to give away too much, but I'm glad that the 'horse' was basically a checkovs gun. It works. It really works.

I could go on about everything for days!

But I won't because you guys really need to experience (yes, that's right, experience) it for yourselves. It is gut wrenching, emotional, I fucking want to kill Zhao myself, and Hahn can die five hundred times over for being a power hungry misogynistic idiot (I spit on his grave).

Actually, this story is pretty close to ASOIAF level writing with all its twists and turns.

The one thing that sets this story apart from the main script of Troy and the Iliad is the characters fates.

In Troy, Paris doesn't die, Helen runs away from Troy with him to live another day. In the Iliad, Paris dies. Helen goes back to her husband, who is very much alive, unlike in the movie, and yeah... then you go into the Odessy and several other epics like the Aenid and whatever. But anywho, great retelling of the Iliad/Troy in the Avatar universe.

Please check it out if you haven't already. It's basically an epic.

Story's Verdict: 10/10 turtleducks because I've never seen an author besides GRRM make me hate a character so much that I need to end them myself. I'm talking Joffrey and Cersei levels of hate. Mostly Joffrey... that little shiteater.

[muppetebbtide]

trojan war tumblr simulator

🌊 is-the-sea-wine-dark-today

YOU BET IT IS

#the wine dark sea!!!!!!!!!!!! #wine dark sea #wine dark sea posting

108 notes

✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo follow

why is achilles the only demigod who's Like That? like he's my boy but u don't see memnon or aeneas or sarpedon acting like him on the reg. why is he so maladjusted? like specifically? I saw his mother once and was so terrified by the sight of a goddess I flung myself to the ground and hid my face in the dirt til she left but I still don't think that accounts for it idk

🏘️ nobody1020

it's blonde man syndrome hope this helps

340 notes

⚔️ sonoftydeus

opening my askbox so that we can discuss strategies on taking troy!

3 notes

anonymous asked: we should all go home :)

⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:

FUCK OFF AGAMEMNON I WANT REAL SUGGESTIONS

50 notes

nobody1020 asked: do u like..... horses

⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:

odysseus do I even wanna know where this is going

45 notes

⌛ isthetrojanwaroveryet?

year 9, day 234: still no....

#all our admins keep DYING

500 notes

‼️ trojan-confessions follow

I think my wife might be sending me anon hate :/ keep getting asks like 'hope u die on the battlefield tomorrow silly slag' and 'menelaus should have curbstomped you' and in her big tapestry of warriors she made me look stupid

🐴 horsetaminghector follow

lmaooo is this paris??

🔮 cryinglikecassandra follow

kinda think helen should send MORE anon hate idk

600 notes

❓ myrmidons-confessions

I was the one who wrote the achilles/agamemnon 100k slowburn enemies to lovers rpf and put it on the group chat but now patroclus is calling me 'agachilles boy' and laughing about it and asking if I can proofread his mock bardic epic where all his dogs are heroes and killing people, so I fear I've made a mistake. I also can't look achilles in the eye anymore... but honestly I've never seen proof he can read so I might be safe

❓ myrmidons-confessions

5000 notes

👑 kingofmycenae

👍🏻 ajaxthegreat

achilles is DEAD and ur posting CRAB RAVE?????

🏘️ nobody1020

I think that's why he's posting it ngl

300 notes

😹 deiphobus42069

imagine being the achaeans and your best warrior gets killed by PARIS, after everyone else had awesome deaths at the hands of sarpedon or hector or memnon... like that's literally so embarassing I just know achilles is fucking fuming down in hades rn. I bet the achaeans are gonna put around that paris was guided by apollo, or that paris happened to hit his only weak spot..... anything 2 try and make it less cringe.... lol lol we're popping the biggest bottles tonight. hope helen's there

🐆 leopardskiniscool

???????????????

#I mean. yeah. but also. #deiphobus wtf I thought we were chill

240 notes

#hope everyone can be normal about the outcome!!! :)

340 notes

🧑🏻 randotrojansoldier-deactivated-8578543

so excited to go back onto the field of battle tomorrow! sure hope I don't encounter any of the big-name heroes

🗣️ homer follow

I hope you don't too! I'm sure you'll do great!

🐎 antilochussss

not the direct address????

✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo

direct address got him :(

3000 notes

💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow

fuck my job so much I hope that this wooden horse tribute to the gods turns out to have some guys inside or something just so I can DO something rather than standing here like a twat with my spear

💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow

by ares this can't be happening

345 notes

⚔️ sonoftydeus reblogged menelauskingofsparta

do NOT order achilles from shein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#oh yeah #I was stuck with temu achilles in the trojan horse for six hours #and by hour two agamemnon had suggested killing and eating him #and odysseus was threatening to 'send him to meet his father' #and it's not even like there's any kleos in killing priam!!! #anti neoptolemus #neoptolemus defenders dni #vent tags

100 notes

[blondie-drawings]

(Worf voice) SLAY

[theerurishipper]

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First <- Part 19 <- Part 20 -> Part 21

Masterpost

[parkercore-69]

yo guys i think it’s pretty sweet when Troy smiles at the camera when Abed’s filming ☹️

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Me @ Daylight Savings Time Taking An Hour From Me

[jasonsbruce]

Alfred: Master Bruce, can you hear me? I'm detecting someone tracking your movement through the city. Bruce: I knew he would. Alfred: I… think I may have missed something, sir. Who are you talking about?

[itsjustjelly]

Has anyone done this yet

[quetzaly-ameyali]

We as a fandom need to talk about the infantization of Polites and the villainization of Eurylochus

[teehee-vibes]

Hi guys. I’m behind on JRWI-Tober. Here’s my progress so far.

1) Riptide

2) Fave PC

3) Fave NPC

4) Campaign swap

[advanced-fangirlism]

Study Group Chibis

[gorefreaklintjrwi]

my babygirl i fucking hate him

[ink-ray]

I feel like people don’t talk about this:

Enough.

The ending for marble hornets was one of the worst ones I’ve ever seen for a series like this.

NOT BECAUSE IT WAS BAD.

Because it was so gut wrenching.

Tim lies to Jessica about Jay being alive just like how Alex lied to her about Amy being alive and well just like Jay lied to her about why he was in the hotel

Jessica is truly the most tragic character of the entire series due to how she just wants to help, like in the ending when she offers to call for help when Tim is HACKING A LUNG UP but (presumably) gets attacked by the operator. Also when she tried to help Jay and ends up being kidnapped and held at gun point. Now she is completely alone in her fight to survive the Operator while thinking that she could still be able to get in touch with Jay and tell her she’s okay since his last mission before he died was to find her.

The fact that we KNOW that the operator isn’t gone and probably never will be is so terrible

The way that Tim drives away just like Jay did after Alex broke Tim’s leg is such an amazing parallel and that basically confirms that something so atrocious happened in that parking lot that Tim didn’t want to include it.

THEN THE WHITE TEXT ON A BLACK BACKGROUND LIKE JAY USED TO DO SAYING “Everything is fine.”

TROY WAGNER WHEN I CATCH YOU TROY.

JOESPH DELAGE III WHEN I CATCH YOU JOESPH

YOU WILL BE DELT WITH.

[desire-mona]

community if they did a house md parody episode idk

[cold open, pierce is inflicted with a mysterious illness after a trip overseas, which he insists is just a cold. (he's displaying flu-like symptoms and his nose started bleeding) abed takes it upon himself to find out what it is, obviously taking the role of house]

abed: i'll need 3 of you guys to help me and inevitably do most of the work, everyone make your cases

britta: abed, none of us are doctors, and dont you think we should just believe pierce when he says he has a cold? i mean, he's the one experiencing the symptoms

annie: i dont know, i think it's fun! plus it's not like it'll do any harm to see if it's anything different

abed: annie, britta, you're both on the team

britta: what? why?

annie: yay!

jeff: what's next, you're all gonna gather in your dorm and write all of pierce's symptoms on a whiteboard?

abed: you're on too, jeff. you're the most like me out of all of us

jeff: what?

troy: what? :(

jeff, already getting up to join the other 3: i am not the most like you

abed: your ability to disagree with me is exactly why you'd be good for the team

troy: but what about me? D:

abed: do you think you have the ability to tell me no?

troy: no

abed: good. you're the one who's gonna approve all of the treatments and tests we're gonna do

troy, under his breath: yessssss

pierce: dont you think this is all a bit unnecessary? i mean, i dont understand what all the fuss is abou-

*pierce throws up to his right, shirley shrieks and promptly stands up*

shirley: if i'm not needed for this little game of hospital, i have a child at home who is actually sick and i'd like to go and take care of him

abed: no you dont need to do anything, not unless it's cancer

troy: IT COULD BE CANCER??

*intro*

bonus under cut!

heres some bits and jokes that i couldnt think of how to make a full scene

abed figures out that pierce has heat stroke, nose bleed unrelated.

b plot is shirley at home taking care of her son, dealing with the guilt of not being at home as much as she'd like

[sarafangirlart]

I’m fine with taking creative liberties in adaptions but shifting the blame for Astyanax’s murder to Zeus instead of Odysseus (or at least Neoptolemus) has been disastrous to Trojan war discussions, bc now dumb ppl who have never read the Iliad or Odyssey or watched any adaptations of the Trojan women will think that big mean Zeus pressured poor boy dad Odysseus into killing Astyanax. As if Zeus didn’t favour Hector and was hesitant to destroy Troy.

[ismellbitches]