#i guess when that happens they actually still have like 1 hp left

[doctor-yoshi-soul]

The TF2 Mercenaries in D&D

(for @tf2heritageposts)

So I'm in a smash bros. inspired campaign that revolves around throwing characters from disparate video games together and seeing what happens. But that's where all of these sheets come from, and it's why all of their sheets are currently at level 9, which affects their amount of available feats.

To start with: homebrew! Don't worry, it's not a lot. It's just a little bit for custom firearms, actually. Specifically it's The Greasemonkey's Handbook, a glorious supplement that I recommend to everyone who will listen, but alas we are not here for giant mechs today, just a couple of guns! I'll point them out whenever necessary, but this is a general overview of their builds, just to save time.

All of them start as Variant Humans so they can have the Gunner feat from Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, and I think I gave all of them except Spy the Mercenary Veteran background. Spy gets, well. Spy.

Scout: Swashbuckler Rogue with the mobile feat, 5e has no finesse weapons that deal bludgeoning outside of one (1) setting specific ball, so he has a bat (regular club) but you'd be better off flavoring something like the three-rune blade as a dagger or shortsword. Custom gun from Greasemonkey's, to represent his Scattergun, is a Shotgun with the Lightened Frame modification.

I went with Swashbuckler because it is THE annoying little shit subclass. Run in, hit things, taunt your opponent, and run out before they can do anything about it. That's the Boston Bitchboy alright. And the Sneak Attack damage means when he does hit ya, he hits ya where it hurts.

Soldier: Oath of Glory Paladin. This does not mean he has good mental stats. He is not an optimized Oath of Glory Paladin. In fact the only reason his Charisma is a 10 is because I needed him to be able to cast some spells and have an Intimidation modifier that wasn't complete ass. I do however feel obligated to tell you he has an Intelligence of 7 and a Wisdom of 5. He also has a custom Greasemonkey's weapon and. well. it's the rocket launcher.

As for making him a Paladin to begin with: the auras and support spells are used to mimic the effects of the banners! Because I love support soldier and think he doesn't get enough love. Pyro: Phoenix Sorcerer. I know it's a UA. But. I mean. Come on. Fire spells. Fire subclass. Sometimes it's not that deep, you know? The unauthorized fucking thing does get a Greasemonkey's weapon though. You get three guesses as to what it is and the first two don't count.

Demoman: Ok now we're getting into one of the more interesting ones. Demo stumped me for a while because there's equal claim to build around either explosions or haunted sword. In the end, I went with a mixture of the two, 3 levels in Hexblade Warlock, 6 levels in Draconic Soul Sorcerer, which gives him the ability to go wild on fire spells similar to Pyro, but also granting him a solid HP boost. And of course the Hexblade stuff is for the good ol' Eyelander. If at any point Legendary tier items become available in this campaign you bet your ass I'm getting him a Vorpal Sword. No custom weapon though! Grenades already exist in 5e :)

Heavy: You know his ass has to be a Barbarian with the Tough feat for as much HP as possible, but I decided to not go with Totem Warrior. If you're building your own, the Bear Spirit is certainly a valid choice, but I decided to go with Zealot Barbarian instead, which is the subclass themed around being God's Specialest Little Warrior That's Not Allowed To Die. You may be able to guess where that's going. His custom Greasemonkey's weapon is also predictable: Heavy Machine Gun with the Drum Magazine modification. I also considered the Weighted Frame mod, but because I built him with middling dex (it's not optimal for his subclass, no, but I didn't want to make Heavy feel like he was dodging things left and right) it would've made his to-hit modifier even worse. Still, worth bringing up! And of course, I can't go without mentioning the fact he uses the most expensive (and deadly) ammo

It should be noted this server allows for very lenient flavoring, so for melee I use a greatclub but it's flavored as regular punches, so he can still do decent damage with it being on-theme

Engineer: Probably the most predictable Artificer in the world, especially when there's a subclass literally themed around having your own funny turret (Artillerist). He also uses a Shotgun, with no mods this time, and has a whole lot of damage spells he is very much not afraid to use. It should be noted that the Artillerist can actually make their turret do damage or support, which works very well for flavoring either a Sentry or a Dispenser, and Artificers get access to spells like Blink and Vortext Warp which can work for Teleporter shenanigans if you want to get real sillay with it. He uses one of his Infusions for Replicate Magic Item: Prosthesis, to account for the Gunslinger hand. I also gave him War Caster so it's easier for him to hold concentration on his spells.

Medic: Life Cleric, but in the most fucked up way possible. The way I like to describe it is that through a chain of theological loopholes he has become his own god and thus fuels his spells through believing in himself. This is why Heavy's build is Zealot over Totem, he's God's Specialest Little Test Subject! Also has War Caster, but uses it for concentration support spells this time.

Sniper: Ohhh, here's a fun one. I'm just gonna send you the gun first for some context:

All of the mods on this thing increase range values, except for one which gives it a +1 to attack rolls. I'm running low on images and that one's easy to describe lol. As for his build: 3 levels in Assassin Rogue/6 levels in Battle Master Fighter, and alongside the baseline Gunner feat, he also has the Sharpshooter feat (any dnd vets probably just shuddered). Why do I think his build is so fun? Let me tell you what Sharpshooter does.

+10 flat damage. ok. that's a lot. but the -5 penalty makes it hard to pull off, right? Well. Sniper here has maxed out Dex, and is proficient in firearms, so at level 9 his modifier to hit is a +8. Then, he has the Archery fighting style, which adds a +2 to all ranged weapons, despite the name, which makes it a +10. And then the weapon mod makes it +11. so even with the -5 penalty, it's still a +6 to hit. And remember those Rogue levels? Assassin Rogues get this fun feature where they have advantage on all attack rolls made against creatures who haven't acted yet in combat. And Battle Master has a maneuver that lets you add your superiority die to your initiative roll. And remember he has maxed Dex. And he has enough Fighter levels to Action Surge on that first turn if he does go early enough in Initiative. While having Extra Attack. And you can use the Sharpshooter feat on all of those rolls. I have made a monster. And I do not regret it. (Because outside of that my man is SQUISHYYYYYYYY)

Spy: Rounding out the builds with one that's exactly what it says on the tin: Assassin Rogue, but as a full build this time. Mixture of combat abilities revolving around ambushes and utility features revolving around stealth and infiltration, it's perfect! It's also fun to me that Scout and Spy both get to be full Rogues :> He also gets a custom gun: A revolver with the snub-nosed barrel mod, which gives it the concealed tag and a bonus to any checks to hide the weapon at the cost of reducing its damage die. I like to flavor it as the Enforcer. If you want more detailed breakdowns of any of their sheets I can go more in-depth, I just wanted to give an overview first!

[mx-pokirby]

Okay pls listen

I keep thinking about this, and I don't have a Monolith Soft/Platinum/Atlus-size team nor budget, so making my own dream game will have to wait, and a Tumblr post will have to suffice

Breaking the 4th wall is nothing new.

Theater shows where performers speak directly to the audience. Films that emphasis the viewers' roles as voyeurs to elevate the art. Games that dissect the nature of protagonism, using the medium to create ludonarrative harmony.

All good and deserving even more be made.

Yet in that final case, I feel there's often a disconnect in assuming the level of responsibility the game expects of you in "controlling someone against their will".

The protagonist will clearly be upset at you like "How dare you be here, controlling me? This is all your fault. Fuck you." and you kinda just gotta sit there like "Damn, sorry I guess but I didn't make any of this happen, buddy. I just held W and tried my best to help. If I left then literally everything would remain still. None of this is on me."

Cuz your expected to at least suspend your disbelief hard enough to forget that the game has a Creator(s) in the first place.

It's like a long-running mystery where you're supposed to just pretend there's no Supreme Mastermind. Everything just happens to be "like this" and you + your character just both gotta cope.

What I, as a creator, want to see is more works that actually call attention to that. About dissecting the concept of the Artist's role from within the Art itself.

There's so much potential in flipping the interrogation light inwards, to ask what forces motivated the Artist to create their world the specific way they ultimately chose, and have that be a key element in what the narrative is about.

Tangent time.

In my teens, I had an RPG Maker phase. I never made enough progress to release anything, but I was familiar enough with the program. Something about the process of making a game in RPG Maker is how easily I slipped into having fun just making up Skills and Items and whatnot. Just toss in some numbers, select an Effect, and write an endearing yet informative description.

In universe, characters may have to go through life-changing struggles to earn these dangerous powers which could upend their very worlds.

Yet you, the creator, are also able to create both their challenges & rewards with the ease of a keystroke. And any limitations thereof are purely choice, because Game Balance and Plot Structure is an expectation, but importantly not a hard rule.

Your paying audience may care about sudden nonsensical bullshit, but the characters within the narrative would certainly not care about any of the above as long as they can return to living peacefully ASAP. Conflict.

Allow me to give an example that's been occupying my brainspace as of late.

Skill Target: Self Type: Heal Effect (1): Heal HP - 100% Effect (2): Remove - All Debuffs Effect (3): Apply - Omni Buff Effect (4): Gain Status - Invincible Skill Learned At: Level 1 Skill Cost: 0 MP Skill Name: Lift Finger Description: Even if you can no longer stand, as long as the fire inside is still burning, you can find the strength to keep going and face any odds

In a story self-aware of its own mechanics, anyone can effectively obtain Godhood for nothing, and characters would have to grapple with that.

Especially in a work that gives similar/the same (even if stripped down) tools or creation / customization to the player that the creator(s) made the game with. Your Mario Makers, Little Big Planets, Mugen, Cladun, Magical High School Girl (ok maybe not technically but it still deserves a shoutout), anything that runs on Source.

I think a game that wants to tell a story deconstructing / dissecting the act of creation, while using its medium to the best of its ability, would need to require player creation be a core gameplay element.

Partly because, when you're given the freedom to implement overpowered Free Win Button nonsense like the example above, what's stopping you from pushing everything to the extreme?

Only arbitrary, socially/self-enforced rules, and the blurry bounds of what's actually possible. The same limitations as the Creator.

And if the power to Create is given not only to the player, but narratively something anyone can do, then all it takes is one person who values their own self-interest above the arbitrary rules for the rules to truly stop mattering, and everything gets out of hand. A mad-dash. Where the only reason to Create is to be as Extreme as possible. To make only The Most. So you're the best, and nothing can be better than you, nothing can knock you down.

There will still be those attempting to play by the rules, but they're a small few surviving against the odds. That drive to carve a meta out of a system never intended to have one. Assigning order to the chaos.

Only by looking back at the base fundamentals which everyone has elected to ignore can you really put everything into perspective.

Like

You see the points I'm making here, right? The reflections?

There's so many angles to take this initial concept from that I'm just enamored by. And while I'm not even certain I've done an acceptable job at trying to explain / justify this potential that I've been obsessing over, (this post (and my brain) has been cooking for two days and I'm tired), I hope I've at least scratched the surface for others to be inspired by too.

And on that note, I leave with one final piece of wisdom.

There is significantly high untapped artistic potential in the concept of the Self-Insert.

Fuck we gotta rewatch Re:CREATORS

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 9- Part 14

I do apologize for this being a less-than-ideal first impression for Popplio, but Xera’s got pride to uphold, especially against a rival. 

Let’s start by putting the Nidorino to sleep with Sing. Luckily, Sing hits, but Nidorino gets a lucky crit with Poison Tail beforehand in return.

But now that it’s asleep, we can start Zen Headbutting! We get one, and- what do you mean it woke up this time?? And what do you mean Zen Headbutt missed?????

Well, this isn’t good at all! But it’s not impossible to get out of this- first, we heal Whiskers with a Potion-

And then we attempt to put it to sleep again with Sing! Whiskers will live Poison Tail as long as it doesn’t crit again- we just need Sing to land…

And it does! But…we’ve run into a different problem now. Whiskers could go back to spamming Zen Headbutt, but if Nidorino wakes up early again…well, that’d be really bad. No- the safer play is to switch in to someone else. 

It’s your turn, Prong!

You guys know what time it is, right? Start with Charge…

And with the power of Charge and STAB…FIRE THAT LASER, GIRL!! FINISH THE-

…You all can see that, right?

(Future edit: I don't know if I should "thank" Tumblr or YouTube for the random age-restriction and messing up this video addition, but whatever, go off I guess, heavens forbid we have swears on this website-)

I think I’m losing it, I think I am actually starting to go insane- how does this keep happening!? How, seriously!? It can’t be because I keep getting unlucky with damage rolls, right? Once or twice maybe, but- look at how many times this has happened throughout this playthrough so far! In this chapter! In this battle alone! Are you serious!? 

Never in all the years I’ve been playing Pokémon has something like this happened, where enemy Pokémon survive on actual slivers of HP without Endure, Sturdy, Focus Bands/Sashes, or the like. Just…in general, and in multiple different battles in the same game! Not in the mainline games, not the spinoffs, not even when I played Insurgence, I don’t even think this has happened as often when I play on Showdown! So what’s happening here?? Why now, when I’m playing through Reborn, is this happening so often?

It can’t just be luck with the damage rolls and ranges, even I wouldn’t get that unlucky this often! Is it my Pokémon’s EVs and IVs? The enemy Pokémon’s EVs and IVs? Is the RNG programmed to be biased towards the player’s lower-damage rolls no matter what? That third one is a bit conspiratorial (though not unfounded- look up how the fifth Fire Emblem game, Thracia 776, handles the survival of one of its vital characters, Eyvel, it’s very interesting), but at this point I don’t have many ideas for what it could be!

Oh and of course, Nidorino wakes up on the next turn and hits Prong with Poison Tail- it’s not a crit or anything, but it’s still adding insult to injury!

THAT’S IT, FIRE THAT LASER AGAIN!!

Was using a +2 and STAB boosted Charge Beam a bit overkill here, considering Nidorino was probably at 1 HP? Yeah, probably. Would Mud-Slap or Bug Bite have finished the job just as easily? Certainly. Do I care at this point? No, not really- besides, Cain could have used, like, a Super Potion or something, and at that point the Charge Beam would have been even more justified!

Hah- he says that and he doesn’t even know about Xera’s vigilante arc or the stuff with Team Meteor…

…That stuff with enemy Pokémon surviving on slivers of health is going to cost me a battle one day, I’m calling it right now. One day, during a tough/tense battle, an opposing Pokémon is going to survive an otherwise lethal attack with one or two pixels of health left, and it’s going to ultimately lead to Xera losing the battle and forcing me to reset.

That’s…certainly one way to describe the battle that just happened, and Xera herself.

The Wasteland? Why would he have business there? What, is he from there or something? From what that old man said, it doesn’t sound like the kind of place anyone would live in or want to live in…

Well, the horrors of numbers aside, I am glad we got to see and battle Cain again- which is something I did not think I would be saying several chapters ago.

Yeah, the lake looked pretty big on the map, so the fact that it’s all polluted and grimy…yeesh.

Oh, right- the sidequest from Florinia that we went through all of this for! The TMX! If we don’t get that Cut thing as soon as possible after all of this, I will actually lose it-

Previous

Next

[rangedreign]

ohhh my favourite part of ask games, (harmless) petty fandom drama. i know these are a lot so ofc feel free to pick and choose but im nosy and love gossip so if you feel like it *eyes emoji*:

1 2 (just for the drama lol) 6 (feel free to ignore i understand u completely but i live for drama lol) 7 (MORE) 8 12 (<3) 16 (*eyes emoji*) 21 22 (for some final positivity)

1 - the character everyone gets wrong cedric the sorcerer. he deserves respect as a person, and the royal family was wrong to deny him that, but he does little to earn respect as royal sorcerer. 'oh he has such a good and relatable arc' whup tee doo his grand finale was... *checks notes* doing his job correctly. the one he's been training for his whole life. color me unimpressed by a character that should have either left that job YEARS ago or put a little effort into anticipating what he'd be asked to do and practicing instead of trying to prove his worth through stunts and domination.

2 - a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom can't do it lol, everyone's a verse in my mind

6 - which ship fans are the most annoying? shoutout to the time i went through the snape/lily tag and couldn't scroll 3 posts without a james/lily shipper trying to pull moral rank. however i think 75% of the hp fandom has ship rabies.

7 - what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? eh, none, i don't let fandom influence my interpretations of characters that way. cedric is closest but the fandom misinterpretation is just an additional annoyance, rather than a driving force

8 - common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about 'cedric and sofia have a good relationship'. shipping or not, they're completely one-sided. what does cedric provide sofia with? he doesn't even listen to her particularly well.

12 - the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them to no one's surprise, my first pick here is wormwood from sofia the first. he was created as a joke, ha ha the pet is smarter than the human master, but then the show makes you judge him by human moral standards as the foil to cedric's 'deserving of second chances'. the show itself asks you to view a character that cannot leave servitude as human, and wants you to believe that his station is right. it's so deeply unfair. i care him. i respect him. i want to see him take the power of humanity for himself, abuse it, naturally, because that's all humans have ever done to him, then grow into a complete person when he realizes he cares despite it all. knowing that, i feel like mentioning areelu should come as no surprise. doing great evil in response to evil that was done to you? that's so up my alley. up my pussy even. making her bond with daeran of all people is such a great idea, someone who cannot forgive her, but must move on and work with her regardless. it seems like most people write her off as too evil to live, but she's still a super genius. there's a lot to be gained by befriending her. the gold dragon ""redemption"" happens so absurdly fast though. 'oh shit guess this is pretty fucked up, so glad you're a piss-colored lizard bc that's the only way i'd ever listen to you' wrath's writing in general has a bit of a quantity over quality issue. a lacking-logic issue. no way my azata would sacrifice herself just cuz without knowing what areelu will do once she's gone.

16 - you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) - hero-type main characters in general. idk exactly what it is but i find most of them very dull, and often irritating. a lack of desires beyond duty? can't often be described as freaks? they just never have any footholds for interesting ideas to me. - gold aasimar cum. if you want something golden to come out of daeran's dick, you can just make him piss XD also does that imply his hair is naturally white? - daeran x chill/lawful/'boring' kcs - i can tell that on some level he wants the stability from people like that, but i can't see him actually bonding with them. esp not towards the start of the game. - truly, utterly pathetic meow meows. like, listen, i love shoving a character into a Situation and watching them flounder around, but they've gotta be proficient at something!

21 - part of canon you think is overhyped for just about everything: the worldbuilding. i think people get impressed by the mere existence of worldbuilding, rather than the quality of it. pf surprised me when i looked deeper into stuff and found it gave me the same 'this is a hot mess and i have to make shit up for it to make sense' feeling as stf. i expected better from a massive ttrpg but ok. for wrath, also the characters and the music. the characters rely on one-note personalities with maybe a ~hint~ of spice, with one extremely notable exception of daeran. the degree to which he beats out every other character in complexity is stunning, really. the music is... just fine? it's not amazing, it does exactly what you'd expect a track for that purpose to do. I think most of the tracks have muddy orchestration, too much focus on harmony/vibes and not enough on rhythm and melody. the one track i really love is 'a drink before the battle', it has a great flow and dynamics and i wish it played more often.

22 - your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores the villains/antagonists, best part of literally any media ever

[the-chaos-tavern]

Session 3

22nd of March, 2025, now including fourth wall breaks!

Augereaux is not dead yet. (He might as well have been, with his shitty one (1) HP left on the health bar.) I feel it in my middle toe nail that they're arguing about how to get back to Gérald and me, and Bluey does NOT have general geography knowledge, so chances are that they're going to take an unnecessarily long detour around Versailles to Paris, which is, in essence, a straight line across the region.

We see a messenger coming towards us, asking Gerry-boi to "come by", that "Lafayette is dead" (what the fuck, dude), and that "Bluey is indeed close to death", and that "the king has been captured. Signed, Gaspard (please hurry)."

We want the commonfolks to join us, and by sheer force of being emeciated and desperate (and my persuasion modifier of +9), we manage to convince 69 of the attendees of the party we crashed, to join our little trip towards Justice (sweet and served cold).

Gérald, being the nobility he is, is going ahead of the party (why am I being left in charge) to save Bluey's sorry excuse of an ass from succumbing to his injuries, led by the poor, exhausted messenger.

We, and with that I mean the squad, Fréderique and I, wake up after a night in the (way too soft) beds of Versailles. A small colonne of carts with food arrives, by king's orders, to feed the hungry people that are knocking on his doors. Of the 21 carts, we distribute 9 to the caravan of souls that's joining us to Paris, and we'll distribute the rest of it when we get there.

And so, our quest commences.

Once in Paris, Bluey speaks to the People. I'm walking in the back end of the gathering, so I have no clue what the fuck he said to be honest. I'm just vibing with the pulling horse and half a loaf of bread. Straight up unbothered, having a ball, playing the ukulele, unintentionally inspiring fucking Bluey, of all people, to convince the unofficial army we've formed. As we go on, Barold gags the king (for some reason, with a rag. I'm none the wiser of the situation.

In the unholy year of 1798, on the 16th of July, we march onwards, in the direction of the Notre Dame cathedral. People want to eat, so we tell the crowd to follow us to that churchy building where we will share in the goods, and SOMEHOW we manage to do just that without any noteworthy incidents.

Barold goes to toll the bells. Bluey tells the crowds that the day has arrived. They drag the king out of his cart. Everyone gasps, and the king stays suspiciously and uncharacteristically quiet about the whole ordeal, unlike Barold and Gaspard (Bluey), who are bickering their heads off about what happens next. They end up trying to make the King kneel and bow to his citizens, with violence. Like, it's not a pretty or gentle thing to witness to be honest.

'Vive La Révolution', Blue yells out.

And then, we 'honour' Lafayette, our fallen guy, for the person he was, but not who he became. Or something. I'm honestly still vibing with my leftover bread. That is, until we all make our way to our homebase on the outskirts of the city. I decide to start a storehouse there, so we can actually make some money, hopefully.

The people of France are rioting, taking over castles and hunting grounds all over the country, and burning everything and everyone that doesn't cooperate. We invest 1500 gold into arming some people, and 500 goes towards food and resources.

Bluey (again, why that imbicile), got approached (apparently) by someone who wants to stay 'unanimous' (it's anonymous, but the actual party member irl misopronounced, but it felt fitting in-character too), who also wanted to put 1500 gold towards our cause within the revolution. Why, I hear you ask? I haven't got a single fucking clue. Blues clueless, if you will. But we're arming more people, so I guess it's in our advantage.

Fréderique has, apparently, gone to and returned from an empty hunt for Marie Antoinette. She's fled the country, with her two children. Bluey has got it into his noggin' to put up control posts around the border of Paris, efficiently commanding a border control to look out for Marie and kids.

In the meantime though, we're pulling a dungeon out of our asses (the Dungeon Master's Guide), and imprisoning the king in one of the twelve holding cells.

And all of a sudden (what the h-e-double-fuck is going on with these plot points???), we get summoned to the National Assembly. For what? You know exactly the same as I do, bud. More about that at seven.

We enter, and everyone's clapping? So I start shredding the uke (I actually brought my ukulele to the table today, it's hilarious. I played the Jaws theme and the first two lines of Thunderstruck. I am also having a ball in real life), and I know Bluey is talking, but I am too engrossed in what I'm doing to hear what the idiot has to say. The crowd roars. Gérald talks, and the crowd grows... a little less enthusiastic at that, but in general, they seem up for it. Whatever "it" may be.

Debate commences. What. The. Fuck. Slow down the madness train please, I got little legs.

They're assembling an army to reinstitute the monarchy. Bluey has opinions. Do we institute the king's three year old son, or does anyone else 'claim France'? Someone stands up.

Philippe Egalité (I can't do capital accented letters). Someone one of us (side eyes Barold) tried to kill. He says it appears weak of the State to throne a literal child, and that we'd be attacked sooner than later. This divides the room. Bluey wants to appoint Philippe as leader ad interim. Or something like that.

(Out of character: I am very tired and absolutely not in a state of concentration so I, actual person in real life, am just as confused as Agnès)

Everyone favours the three year old to reign (what?). Barold is Not Feeling It (tm), and brings up an idea that suspiciously sounds like democracy.

Philippe counters: 'The problem remains that when a young king without regent will still be seen as a puppet on a string. I volunteer to be the youngling's regent until he comes to age, and guide him towards doing good by the people of his country.'

Objectively, the better idea. According to our priest, too.

So that's what we'll do. Constitutional monarchy it will be.

We will train a new army, convince the People, and other things.

(My brain is clocking out and not computing live-translating Dutch to English. I speak both, but somehow, separately from each other. There's very little connecting lines in my brain to translate on the go, but it's fine when everything happens in the same language. Complete dissassociation between the languages I speak, if anyone has solutions, please send help. I am desperate.)

Philippe want to work with us (wild) to lead the country to better times (insanity at its best). The priest is open to being the minister of religion. Bluey is whispering propagandising language in his ear. 'I saved a lot of people's lives', he says. 'I set of the catalyst of this whole situation', I think. 'And no one knows', I mentally add, as an afterthought. Priesty boi ends up getting elected as Console of Religion and Bishop of Paris. Which makes his Bishop LeClerc. Bishop The Cleric. Iconic. Two thirds of the room votes for Bluey as the person in charge of our defence (again, complete insanity on their part). His uncle., who's not present, might I add, gets elected as minister of finance.

(I was busy figuring out the funniest instrument on GarageBand to interject some bulshittery with, so I'm not exactly following anything, which is completely in-character actually.

So far, that instrument is the bass register of a French horn)

We celebrate the constitution in a bar! (Fun! I can't drink!) No clue what will happen next. Or when, for that matter.

:)

[rigelmejo]

So for most of my listening: I am listening to teens reading type audiobooks I've read before, as my audiobook listening practice. And then also watching brand new cartoons I've never seen, for kids age 5-10.

With the cartoons, I think they're perfect for me just understanding most words and hearing maybe 5-20 new words per episode tops, and picking them up through context. The stories are new to me, so they're interesting to me to watch. I only get frustrated if there's subtitles, because my listening and reading skills compete. So I'm watching without subtitles.

I do think much later, there's a place for watching/listening to things as I follow along with reading and basically learn the hanzi for the words I've learned through listening (whenever I get to the point I've learned more words through listening than reading in the past, or listening skills are much closer to reading skills). I think that for right now, I just depend on reading too much if it's an option, and ignore too much of what I'm hearing.

With audiobooks, 2 experiences happen. Either I focus fully and listen, and notice plenty of words I still don't know (in listening) and it feels "harder" because even though I can catch more individual details, I also hear many words I just don't recognize and my brain slows down to guess and think about them and then I miss other things said right after. I think I understand more when I focus fully on listening, but it feels Harder to understand everything.

Or I partly focus, while audio is playing and I'm browsing the internet or working, and I can understand enough to follow the main idea and some details. But the parts I understand feel EASY to understand - if I hear a phrase or sentence, its extremely easy, it feels like listening to english. If I don't understand a part, my brain mostly seems to skip past it, so I don't prevent myself from understanding the next part because I'm too busy trying to guess what I heard and didnt understand. And the grammar of sentences is easier to understand, because again my focus is not pausing and drawn out on the parts I dont understand, its able to hear the whole sentence and take it as a whole. When I'm listening to HP audiobooks or MoDu audiobook, what I notice is partly listening its easier to follow the plot, and relistening it's easier to catch additional details and learn more words. So that's my strategy right now. When I fully listen and focus entirely, I just trip myself up by focusing so much on the parts I don't understand that I have less focus left to grasp the other parts I do understand. Focusing fully is good for me testing how much I actually understand, but I don't think it's the best plan for me right now.

I think once I'm able to understand these teen audiobooks enough to understand the plot of brand new ones, instead of just ones I've read before, then maybe fully focused listening will work better. Because maybe then there will be few enough new words(or words I dont recognize in listening) that when I spend time to figure them out it won't affect my understanding (negatively) of the whole sentence as much.

So yeah. My plan right now is listen to HP3 audiobook, relistening to chapters 2-3 times (relistening seems to easily improve the amount I grasp without effort when partly paying attention). To listen to Twilight audiobook (also relistening to chapters 2-3 times), and to keep listening to MoDu audiobook (repeating chapters 2-3 times). I will switch to using brand new audiobooks I've never read before, once these current audiobooks are so easy to listen to that I feel like I'm understanding nearly everything the first time I listen.

For cartoons, I'll keep watching some. I think seeing a visyal as I hear words helps the words "stick" more in my mind.

For learner made materials, I'm still going through Lazy Chinese videos (watching once, then relistening 1-2 times without watching), and a few learner podcasts Maomi Chinese, Talk to Me in Chinese, Learn Chinese through Stories (relistening 1-3 times). With the learner materials sometimes its harder or easier, depending on the topic, since they're so short in length they also don't repeat words enough for me to pick them up fully. So I find the relistening helps me both fully learn the words I did understand, and understand as much as I can from the material. I find Maomi Chinese the only podcast where I understand enough to understand the main idea and most details of her podcasts when listening the first time, but relistening is still helpful because when she defines words she doesnt repeat the words after giving the english definition. I find Talk to Me in Chinese almost understandable enough... I get the main topic the first time I listen now, and its hit or miss how many details I understand the first time depending on the topic. I do see an improvement in my comprehension of podcasts compared to a couple weeks ago when I first tried podcasts.

[boutny]

Lazy motoring & motivated reasoning

A simple lesson, this one.

Here is a view of Boutny’s 2 motors. (In the foreground is her innovative anchor-chain box - more about that in another post). It’s a great bit of Wharram inventiveness: the sleds rotate downwards, the outboards tilt into the water, and the two 8 HP Yamaha motors can comfortably propel Boutny at 3.5kts, and if pushed, can get her to 6kts. What is more, the 2 motors, independently controlled, can allow Boutny to manoeuvre nicely in tight corners, like trying to get into a berth in a crowded marina - you can have one motor in forward motion and one in reverse, and Boutny more or less rotates on the spot around the motors.

Up on deck, each motor has its own hatches that allow you to do the whole thing of lowering the sleds and tilting the motors. The port motor has an electric start - great for emergency use, and the starboard motor has a manual crank start, which I guess is good for an emergency in which you have no power. Each motor has its own petrol bladder, and when we left Ribeira, we were carrying about 80l of petrol, knowing that we might end up motoring around Cape Finisterre (the Roman name - one they kept re-using on the Atlantic seaboard - “the end of the earth”) and, not knowing what the currents and sea-state might be, you want to be prepared to pile on the power and certainly not worrying about running out of fuel.

A couple of hours after the storm cell passed, the wind dropped, the drizzle came and night started to fall. Definitely the time to put plan-motor into action. We’d somewhat improved the 2-person watch system, with Richard doing 10-2 and me doing 2-7, my extra hour compensating for the fact that Richard wouldn’t actually get much total sleep over the day, because once the sun is up and stuff is going on, it is hard to get real sleep. 

We were aiming to do 3 to 3.5kts, and I roughly reckon that at that speed, each motor consumes 1l/hr. Each bladder holds 12l, so the full bladders should easily see us through the night.

A motoring watch is definitely less enjoyable than a sailing watch. The noise at 3-3.5kts is fine - a murmur, really - but there is none of the mystery and magic of slipping into the darkness. Mostly, I sat on the mid-deck reading, with Fletch (John insisted we name the autopilot early in the journey, and it turns out to be an excellent thing to do; Fletch has stuck) comfortably adjusting course despite the middling swell, which was reasonable well organised.

About 30 minutes before waking Richard, I started thinking about how to get things ready for him. There was still hot water in the thermos, so no need to boil a kettle. Maybe I should check the bladder levels, in case my calculation of consumption rate was off for some reason. I opened the port hatch and lifted the bladder. We’d been going 7 hours, so I expected to find about 1/3 of the bladder full. But on lifting, I found it was more like 2/3 full. 

At that point, I thought to myself: “What a very efficient boat Boutny is ... and maybe we had a favourable current that allowed us to make the 3-3.5kts using less fuel ... and I know I was approximate in my calculation of our consumption rate and that I made conservative assumptions at every turn, so they do add up to a big error in the end ... and wasn’t I clever to always err on the side of conservatism in the estimation ... and so on and so forth”. 

In other words, the discovery of having consumed less fuel was a good one and I could pat myself and Boutny on our backs in all sorts of ways. It also meant that I did not need to fill the bladder for Richard.

I waited out my last  minutes looking at the emerging dawn and the great plunging cliffs of the cape. I took out the navigation tablet and set a waypoint navigating to which would last Richard another 3 hours or so ... I was just waiting for the moment to wake Richard, really.

And then the starboard engine sputtered and cut out. 

Immediately, I knew for almost sure what had happened. The real explanation for my discovery of low consumption on the port motor was that it had been working less hard than the starboard motor. It was so obvious as an explanation that it immediately presented itself as the explanation for a whole host of small observations that before then I had not connected - the positions of the levers on the motor control, the loud-ish sound in my cabin (the staboard cabin) compared to the sounds on deck; and, of course, the surprisingly full bladder on the port side.

So rather than wake Richard, I hauled out the 20l jerrycan and filled the bladder - a slightly spilly operation with such a large jerrycan and rolly seas - and went to start the manual crank of the starboard engine. I cranked and cranked, and it would not take. And more. And more. It was 15 minutes into Richard’s watch when I gave up, woke him up, explained the problem, and went to sleep.

We spent a good part of the next morning trying to start the engine. Internet forum posts, messages to Olivier, the lot ... Obviously, running the engine dry had put a gremlin in the system. Perhaps there had been grit in the bottom of the bladder, and somewhere between tank and cylinder, there was now a blockage. The summer before, in Sete, I had watched Ismael, the outboard virtuoso, service the motors thoroughly, and had wondered at his ability to put his hands in just the right place to take this piece or that apart - and back together again - and to know how it all worked and to inspect if this was operating as it should ... And I also knew that there was no way I could do this myself.

No matter, I thought. We can get into A Coruna on one motor, and fishing ports always have people like Ismael who really know these workhorses inside-out.

A fresh breeze picked up, the pillar of Hercules - the longest, continually operated lighthouse in the world, apparently, having been a navigation aid at the time when the Romans named the cape the end of the Earth - came into sight, and we started a very agreeable sail into A Coruna. I had spoken to the marinero on the phone - who oddly spoke English with a heavy French accent, which would become a fascinating subject of our first conversation - who had already allotted us an end of pontoon place, and the marina looked very protected from the Northerly that was now well-established. I had no real worries about doing this with one motor.

I had early on in the voyage told the story recounted in Selina’s last book about the plague in 14th Century Damascus - how the Jewish, Christian and Muslim religious authorities decided that since they did not know who had offended God, they had better all pray together to ask forgiveness and that it stop. This was in very sharp contrast to so many instances in Europe of the plague becoming a trigger for pogroms and accusations of blood libel. This story quickly became a lighthearted leitmotif of the trip that, for any mishap, we would pretend to find the fault in what one of the crew-members had done to insult some deity or other.

Richard and I bantered about the difficulty of the mechanical, about the Gods we had angered such that the motor would not start, about whose fault this was. Was it Thor - for the explosive internal combustion engine - or Loki (Richard’s choice), for the intricate mechanism - or Ahura Mazda (Ricahrd is from a Farsi family, and we had had lots of chats about Zaroastran beliefs during the trip)?

Nevertheless, I gave the motor a crank. It sputtered into life. We rejoiced. Then it died again, and no cranking of mine would revive it. The deities were teasing me, playing with hope and despair, we joked. 

But we had life from it. We had existence proof that nothing fundamental had gone wrong. That was real hope. Half an hour later, Richard tried again. It started! And this time, we kept the revs up for a long time. We turned them down with extreme caution. We had a working motor. 

I snapped the anti-tilt mechanism and put in the wooden chocks to stop the sleds tilting up in case of reverse - this is all very important in order to benefit from the manoeuvrability of the design - and took the sails down. We let a huge cruise ship come out of the channel before heading into the marina, where Jose was waiting for us at the place he’d indicated. 

Richard was at the helm - as a canal-barge dweller, forced, to move by the Canals and Rivers Trust every 2 weeks into to benefit from the (cheap) cruiser’s license, Richard has moored more boats in his 7 years’ living on the canal than I have in many more years of sailing, so I was always happy to leave marina manoeuvres to him. 

The marina was much smaller than I had imagined from the Google Earth satellite picture. What’s more, the headland that ought to have protected us from the North wind, it turned out, actually channelled wind straight onto us. Richard expertly turned Boutny in a very tight corner using forward and backward throttles simultaneously, and he berthed her beautifully.

It would have been a nightmare on only one motor. Whoever it was, Thor, Loki or anyone else - perhaps Richard, deciding to try it one last time - Thank You!

[But now the lesson, the oh-so-obvious-lesson. When I found the 2/3 full tank at 6.30am at the end of my shift, I suffered a severe episode of optimism bias and motivated thinking. I was surprised, as well I might have been. And surprise, with its micro dose of adrenaline, ought to be a call to action. And yet the only action I got was a whole lot of mental work whose effect and purpose was to stop me doing the very small piece of physical work involved in checking the second bladder. WTF. Be super-vigilant of such motivated reasoning, especially when tired - my mind is very often not my long term friend in such situations. It is terrible at the long term trade-off. It fails the Marshmallow test.]

[retphienix]

This little quest, like many, is more or less just filler while we wait on various background events to happen.

We help a bard, he doesn't know anything about our dream cave, now we know the artificer or whomever has finished analyzing the mcguffin we left back there, so we have a direction to go (or will) so this was basically just "Go do a side quest (90% of the game's content) to recruit a bard :)" and that's fine.

Speaking of: Bard!

The Bard in FFT is, well, pretty shit. BUT, I have nostalgic admiration to that iteration of the class. It's a favorite :)

It's one of the most difficult classes to unlock in that game (not saying much but still relevant!) requiring you to level magic themed classes (Summoner and Mediator) with a male whom in Tactics are statistically inclined towards physical jobs (quick way to gauge that being that at level 1 most males have 4 strength and 3 magic attack, and females have the inverse).

So already, it's "hard" to get and has a uniquely counter-intuitive acquisition method (train the traditionally fighter characters to be mages) which makes it neat, but also it has an entirely unique playstyle where Bards in FFT are channeling classes who target the entire map.

They can begin singing anywhere on the map and every time they finish an entire verse the song effect will play out, targeting everyone.

I just find that really cool because it's so unique in the game, only a few classes target (or can target) "everyone", one of the others being Dancers, the female counterpart whom fulfill all the same requirements but inversed (magic leaning character levels physical classes instead).

Anyways, Bards in FFT are underwhelming without abusing the 900 different ways you can break a character to FORCE them to be good. By default Bards are a support class that buffs or heals ally units (everywhere on the map) but for VERY small amounts and VERY slowly (often taking many turns to channel their song and complete a verse all to heal for like 10 hp).

I love em! I love em when they are bad, I love when you break the game and make them good, great and interesting class!

I'm stoked to see how they actually work here.

At a glance, it turns out Bard didn't exist in FFTA?

MOST of the classes in FFTA2 are just copy pasted from FFTA-

(For better- interesting archer classes,

and worse- so many underwhelming classes in my opinion lol)

-but as it turns out, Bard didn't exist in TA, and is a unique job in TA2 that apparently only this guy has, that's kinda neat, making Bard into a signature class :D

Reading the wiki it seems like they really did lean in on the same ideas as other bards in the series, namely "support magic" and the like. I'm actually interested in using this guy though, if only to see just how it works. Because it SOUNDS (heh) like his songs affect everyone within 4 tiles of him, basically being a magic bomb wherever he's standing.

That's, actually kinda cool, if that's accurate.

I hope that's the case and it's not just "You can target someone within 4 tiles" but I guess we'll see. That will kill my interest entirely.

Regardless, glancing at his skills, yep, that's a bard. I like that.

Geez, I kinda hope he's underwhelming though because I REALLY like my team right now.

Double mage, double melee, double range feels great with this lineup.

Both Paladin and Defender work fantastically for tanking through everything head on.

Redmage/summoner and my eclectic Nu Mou who keeps changing jobs have successfully covered the healing and "pelt them with spells" end of things.

And MY LORD is my hume hunter putting in work consistently- and my Clockwork spamming gun moogle might not be damaging things but the status buffs and debuffs are sensational (note, I'm cheating and save scum every time lmao- definitely a class I would HATE without cheating but I'm shameless and it's fun :P)

I'd really like to slip a bard in if it turns out he IS a magic bomb and doesn't target 1 unit at a time, but I'm genuinely not sure who I'd move out.

Maybe the red mage... but, while her tools are kinda just "magic lite" like elementalist who is just a simplified (and less prone to proccing status in my experience) geomancer from FFT, or red mage who is just black and white mage with extra steps, or summoner- who in this game certainly FEELS like black mage with extra steps since the damage is so mediocre- these are still useful tools to bring to the squad.

It's just a shame that she has so many options for magic but because they are all options conceived of in FFTA originally, they are all basically just "Cast a spell on 1 guy for a little damage" or "Cast the same spell a black mage does". Bleh.

I'm starting to think Viera just have shit options all around in terms of appeasing my tastes and that them, along with how I tried to master all the skills and found so much overlap in classes, tainted my entire FFTA run.

It's either "Magic lite" or "Normal attacks that sometimes proc status" or "Cast death (but with a bow)", all 3 aren't interesting enough.

*sigh* doesn't help that a lot of FFTA design, including here, is "Make it interesting by adding a debuff chance!" and that's it. Between Fencer, Elementalist, Assassin, Juggler, Ninja, Base Archer in a sense, Sniper, JEEZ- a lot of classes in FFTA mistake "add a status proc" to "Make this class interesting without making it play any differently".

There are winners though, like re-imagining tank classes to have more options to actually tank, or giving Hunters an identity by making their skills more effective against monsters, or, indeed, being a bit silly with some ideas like Morphers or Clockwork.

I just wish so many abilities weren't just "Hit for a little damage and sometimes proc a debuff" or "Hit HARD but inaccurately / Hit SOFT but accurately" but in the grand scheme of things that's not every option or even most- when so many weird options like morph exist etc.

[whitenoisewrites]

Howdy, folks! Time for True Pacifist part 4. Sorry for the big delay. Uni is back on, and I've got some other personal projects I'm juggling too. So updates are almost certainly going to continue being significantly slower from now on.

Bear in mind also that I'm very much writing by the seat of my pants here, so there is a very real chance that something I make up for this might contradict what might later appear in @karmaspidr's Guidebook or miscellaneous dialogues or what have you, especially as time goes on and they fill in more blanks. As time goes on, it's entirely possible that the original Desert Sanctuary and this take will end up diverging quite a bit. So if it turns out this isn't actually how DS!Clover would react in this situation... well, I apologise, but also this part took forever to write and I'm not redoing it lol. If that happens, I guess this will just have to be an AU of the AU lmao.

Also, this is a long one. I didn't want to leave you guys hanging again, so I tried to squeeze in as much as I could. Just a heads up.

Anyway, when we last left off, we were trying to sneak out of Sanctuary to get back to Hotland, the Lab, and the road to ASGORE. Clover wants us to turn back, but of course, we can't, or there's no more game.

Clover decides that we have to be stopped, even if it takes drastic measures...

-------

On all routes, the Clover fight activates Serious Mode.

The battle is affected heavily by your LV, and by whether or not any of your kills were rebels.

-If you have killed any rebels, Clover will always kill you. You cannot flee. You also gain the Taunt ACT, which reduces their DF but increases their AT.

-If you have not killed any rebels, but your LV is over 5, Clover will still kill you. But if you flee, they will let you go, allowing you to return to Sanctuary to heal, buy items, or adjust your equipment.

-If you killed no rebels and your LV is 5 or less, Clover will not kill you. Taking "lethal" damage will leave you at 1HP, and you will wake up back in Clover's room at the Mayoral Estate. They will also let you flee.

-If you're still at 0 EXP, you can flee, Clover will not kill you, and you gain access to a unique ACT which reduces their AT. This is what we're dealing with right now.

Clover's stats are also complicated. They have a base AT of 14 (starting AT of 10, +4 from being LV3) and a base DF of 18 (starting DF of 10, no LV bonus, +8 from Fancy Holster). However:

-They will use stronger ammo based on your LV. This gives them a max AT of 24 (14 base, +10 from Nails), exclusively in the Geno route. Here in True Pacifist, they use the Rubber Ammo, giving them no AT bonus.

-If they use an ammo type that has bonus effects in UTY, they do not receive that extra benefit, only the AT boost. For example, Glass Ammo will give them +5 AT, but will not heal them if they hit you.

-Their internal DF is much higher than Checking says it is. As discussed in Geno, this is to reflect the fact that, as a human, they are much more durable than monsters. In True Pacifist, attacking them is almost useless. Without AT boosts from levelling up, you'd basically be guaranteed to only do 1 damage. And since they have around 40 HP, that's 40 turns you have to survive. Even with the ability to reduce their AT, that's a tall order, for no real gain (other than satisfying one's sick curiosity of course).

Most of Clover's attacks utilise their revolver. Since they fight physically rather than using magic projectile patterns like monsters, their attacks are relatively simplistic, but are faster than average to compensate. A few examples of attacks they might have:

-A revolver appears outside the bullet board and fires in at you. Only one can appear at a time, since Clover only has one gun, and can't create more with magic like Starlo.

-A crosshair appears in the bullet board. Shortly after, Clover fires at that spot. They would start firing multiple times in a row as the battle progresses, up to a maximum of 6.

-A warning box appears across the bottom of the bullet board. A cowboy boot would sweep across the bottom of the board, representing Clover kicking up dust. For the next couple of turns, small dust clouds would float in front of the bullet board, obscuring your view.

-Clover holsters their revolver for a moment. Six crosshairs appear on the board in rapid succession. After all six appear, Clover's eye would flash from under their hat. They draw their revolver and rapidly shoot all six spots.

-Clover would only use their SOUL shots in Genocide. Even then, they can only use the normal shots and the Pacifist charged shot, not the Geno route beam.

(From this point on, the dialogue and battle actions will be based solely on the True Pacifist version of the fight.)

ACT options:

-Check:

*CLOVER 14 AT 18 DF

*The true rebel leader. Seeks justice for their friends, and for the fallen.

-Talk:

*You try to talk Clover down.

*They refuse to hear it.

"There'll be plenty of time to talk once you're home safe. Now git!"

-Talk (second time or more):

*You try to talk to Clover.

*They ignore you.

-Join:

*You offer to help the resistance.

*Clover turns you down.

"Not a chance. Even a cold war is still no place for a child. Trust me, I know..."

-Join (if you befriended Undyne):

*You offer your services as a double agent.

*Clover laughs incredulously.

"Sure, 'cause Cap'n Fish-face would definitely let a human into her precious Guard. How stupid do you think I am?"

-Join (multiple times):

*You say you still want to help.

*Clover rejects you again.

"I said no, kid. Try again when you're grown. If we're even still needed by then, that is."

-Shrink:

*You flinch at Clover's movements.

*They look at you with a strange expression.

*Clover's AT dropped.

"..."

-Shrink (second time):

*You take a hunched posture.

*Clover's breath seems to hitch for a moment.

*Clover's AT dropped further.

"..."

-Shrink (third time):

*You hold your arms up defensively.

*Clover can't seem to look you in the eye...

*Clover's AT plummeted.

"..."

-Shrink (4th time or more):

*You shy away from Clover.

*Clover's AT won't go any lower.

"..."

General flavour text:

*Clover twirls their revolver.

*Clover takes aim.

*Clover checks the cylinder of their gun.

*Clover breathes deeply.

*Smells like corn and cordite.

*Smells like feathers and cherry trees.

*Smells like dust and flowers.

The general structure of the fight would be similar to most UTY bosses, that is, you need to Spare Clover until you find an opening to use the correct ACT that will end the fight. As the battle progresses, Clover will continually try to convince you to turn back, frequently being torn between anger at you for being reckless and foolish, and disgust at themselves for attacking you, no matter how justified they think they are. Which folds over into anger at you for "making" them do this, which feeds into more disgust with themselves for feeling that way when they know in truth it isn't your fault... Clover is really just not in a good place during this fight.

Some excerpts from their dialogue:

"So. You're not gonna FIGHT me... but you ain't gonna back down either..."

"But why? Why would you wanna go back to the rest of the Underground? Back to fighting for your life, back to being hunted like an animal?!"

"Don't you get it? This is as good as it gets down here! Kind friends, no deadly puzzle-traps, and there's been no successful anti-human infiltrators for over a year now."

"We busted our butts for years turnin' this desert into the perfect home for humans. My friends risked their freedom and their lives for you. And you're just gonna throw it all away?!"

"Is it me? Am I the problem? What am I saying, of course I am! Get a grip, Clover, you're beating up a child to get your own way, of course they hate you!"

"But the city's big enough now that you'll never have to see me again if you don't want. We can find you someone else to stay with. My friends all adore you, they'd be happy to help!"

"Say you get by me. What then? On to Hotland, and the lab? Even if we can keep Alphys off your back, there's no shot Mettaton's gonna let you slip by."

"He'll find you. He'll kill you. And even if you somehow survive... next up is the King."

"You can't beat him. He's too strong. Stronger than all of us put together. What chance do you have? Especially alone."

"You can't talk him down. We've been trying for years. If he won't listen to his own people, why would he listen to you?"

"You'll die. He'll have his sixth SOUL. And then he'll come for me. For all of us. It'll be war. A real war. One we’re still not ready for, despite how hard we’ve worked."

"My friends will die. I'll die. And with my SOUL... ASGORE will break the Barrier, and destroy humanity. The world as we know it will end. I bet stayin' here with us doesn't sound too bad now, does it?"

"So why? Why do you still want to leave? Tell me.”

“TELL ME! WHY DO YOU WANT TO KEEP GOING SO BADLY?!”

“WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH TAKING ON THE KING?!”

“WHAT ARE YOU REALLY AFTER?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALL THIS FOR?! TELL ME!”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP FIGHTING EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE TOO WEAK TO CHANGE ANYTHING?!”

*ACT- Talk*

*You tell Clover they aren’t weak.

*Clover appears stunned.

"..."

*ACT- Talk*

*You ask Clover why they would think that.

*Clover bows their head.

"..."

*ACT- Talk*

*You tell Clover they've accomplished something amazing with Sanctuary.

*But you have friends that need your help. Just like their fellow rebels need theirs.

*That's why you have to go.

"...but why? Why does it have to be you? This isn't something a child should have to face. It's not fair..."

*ACT- Talk*

*You thank Clover for trying to help you. You tell them you want to help them too.

"...even after all this? You still..."

"..."

*Clover holsters their revolver.

*MERCY- Spare*

*You won! You got 0 EXP and 0 gold.

Clover: "...listen kid. I ain't gonna waste your time tryin' to apologise. 'Sorry' never fixed anythin' anyway. Besides... I got a horrible feelin' you'd actually forgive me. But what I done to you ain't forgivable, so..."

...

Clover: "Just north of here is Sunnyside Farms. Keep following the main road, and you'll see a big metal door. You can't miss it."

Clover: "That's the entrance to the Steamworks. It's a bit of a maze in there, so you might not wanna go wanderin' in unless you got business there. But, y'know, it ain't like I'm the boss of you. You sure proved that, if nothin' else."

...

Clover: "But don't worry about it. I'll have Martlet meet you outside. She can fly you back up to Hotland. And back again, if you want, but... I wouldn't blame you if you just wanted to put all this behind you."

...

Clover: "And don't you worry about Alphys, neither. We'll remind her not to try anything stupid. Just steer clear of Mettaton and those damn mercs of his, and you'll be fine."

Clover: "So... guess this is goodbye. Just... don't let the king get ahold of you. No matter what."

...

Clover: "So long, partner."

Clover returns to Sanctuary. If you follow them back, Martlet is missing, and NPCs who are outdoors have lines about seeing Clover come through in a sorry state.

At the Mayoral Estate, Ceroba's office and Clover's room are both locked. If you knock on Ceroba's door, she will tell you she's on the phone. If you try to knock again:

*You don't want to interrupt the mayor's phonecall.

If you knock on Clover's door:

"Busy."

Knocking again:

"Can't right now."

Third time:

"Look. Whichever one of you it is, I appreciate you checkin' up, but... I need to think. Please."

Knocking more will simply have them ignore you.

Going up through the (much larger) Sunnyside Farms, you come to the entrance of the Steamworks. Martlet will be there waiting for you, regardless of whether you doubled back to town or not.

Martlet: "Oh! Hi... guess you're ready to go then?"

...

Martlet: "Clover told me what happened. About how you wanted to leave. About how they tried to stop you. I... I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I'm the one that just whisked you away without even asking, and now... you got hurt. And my best friend thinks they're some kind of..."

...

Martlet: "If... if you'd rather not be around me. You can make your own way back up to Hotland through the Steamworks. But before you go. Clover wanted you to have this."

*You got the Strange Package.

(If your inventory is full, Martlet will hide the package in a small patch of weeds near the door. "There. Now you can just come grab it when you have a space for it.")

Martlet: "So. What do you want to do?"

-Fly with Martlet:

Martlet: "Alright. Hop on, then."

Martlet takes you to the main Lab entrance.

Martlet: "Here we are. The Hotland Lab. Hey... if you like, I could give you my phone number? Then you can call me for a ride back to Sanctuary if you need one."

*You got Martlet's number.

Martlet: "Well... good luck. I'll keep the guards in this area off your back for as long as I can, but... be careful, okay?"

Martlet flies away, and you can now enter the Lab as normal. If you choose this option, you will need to return to the Steamworks another time to complete your spy mission for Undyne. You can do this by calling Martlet to give you a ride back to Sanctuary. Though this won't work until you at least meet Alphys for the first time. Alternatively, reaching the R3 lift for the first time will unlock the option to use any Hotland lift to go to the Steamworks lift terminal.

-Go through Steamworks:

Martlet: "...I understand. Okay, listen closely. First, you'll want to follow the signs to the Furnace. That's where the Hotland exit is. At the end of the path, there's an elevator. Don't get in right away. Instead, call me first. Here's my number."

*You got Martlet's number.

Martlet: "There's almost always a Guard patrol or two watching the elevators. But if I pretend I spotted you somewhere else nearby, I can lure them away for a while, buying you a safe window to use the elevator. Once you've called me, get in the lift and go to 'Left Floor 1.' That'll get you back to the Lab entrance. Don't try any of the other floors. I can't guarantee they'll be safe, especially the higher floors."

Martlet: "Oh, and... if you ever decide you wanna come visit Sanctuary again. You can call me, and I'll come give you a ride. But for now... good luck. And be careful, okay?"

Martlet flies away, and you are free to enter the Steamworks. The overall layout is much the same as in UTY, but the renovations mean no more rubble or broken walkways, and the steam vent hazards are off by default (Axis will activate them in Geno). There are also signs dotted along the path that will point the way to the Furnace, the Sunnyside exit, and other points of interest (most of which aren't accessible).

On entering the Steamworks for the first time (from either end), one of Axis' camera drones (see Ch4 of the Guidebook) will briefly stop you.

"HALT. VISUAL RECOGNITION FAILED. STAND BY FOR AUXILIARY SCAN..."

"SCAN COMPLETE. HUMAN DETECTED. CONTACTING HQ..."

"...HQ INPUT CONFIRMED. NEW DATABASE ENTITY 'NEW HUMAN' CREATED. ADDED 'NEW HUMAN' TO 'AUTHORISED' LIST."

"ACCESS GRANTED. WELCOME TO THE STEAMWORKS. WHERE TOMORROW MEANS PEACE."

Axis' main body is present in the Furnace room, where he fought Clover in UTY.

Axis: "GREETINGS, 'NEW HUMAN'. I AM AXIS MODEL 014 REVISION 2, CHIEF OF SECURITY HERE AT THE STEAMWORKS. I HOPE OUR EFFORTS BOTH HERE AND IN SANCTUARY PROPER HAVE BEEN TO YOUR LIKING."

From here, you can ask him about a few things.

-Steamworks:

"THIS FACILITY IS CRUCIAL TO SANCTUARY'S PROSPERITY. IT HOUSES OUR MAIN POWER SOURCE, OUR WATER PURIFICATION FACILITY, OUR RECYCLING CENTRE AND MORE. IT IS ALSO ONE OF THE MOST DIRECT ROUTES BETWEEN SANCTUARY AND THE GREATER UNDERGROUND. FOR BOTH OF THESE REASONS, IT IS A TEMPTING TARGET FOR ENEMY INFILTRATION OR ASSAULT. THAT IS WHY I AM HERE."

-Superweapon (only appears if you have befriended Undyne):

"OH, STOP IT. YOU WILL MAKE ME BLUSH. YES, MY REINFORCED ARMOUR RENDERS ME HIGHLY RESISTANT TO PHYSICAL ATTACK. AND YES, MY HOVER-HANDS CAN CARRY SEVERAL TIMES MY OWN WEIGHT, ALLOWING ME TO EJECT EVEN EXTREMELY HEAVY [troublemakers]. AND YES, MY SWARM OF CAMERA DRONES GIVE ME AN UNMATCHABLE STRATEGIC AND TACTICAL ADVANTAGE. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, I ALSO HAVE EXTREMELY POWERFUL ENERGY BLASTERS THAT CAN DISRUPT ENEMY DEFENSES."

"...WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS AGAIN?"

-Revision 2:

"THE PROCESS OF REFURBISHING THE ABANDONED STEAMWORKS ALSO INCLUDED REFURBISHING ME. MY ORIGINAL DESIGN SPECIFICATIONS, RETROACTIVELY DESIGNATED 'REVISION 0', WERE FOUND TO BE INSUFFICIENT FOR MY NEW DUTIES. 'REVISION 1' INTRODUCED MY REINFORCED ARMOUR AND ENHANCED BLASTERS, AS WELL AS A GYRO-STABILISER TO PREVENT ME FROM BEING TRIPPED DURING COMBAT OR A PURSUIT."

"HOWEVER, ONE UNIT, NO MATTER HOW POWERFUL, CANNOT BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE. CAMERA DRONES WERE CONSTRUCTED TO AID ME, AND 'REVISION 2' INVOLVED UPGRADING MY PROCESSORS AND FIRMWARE SO THAT I COULD INTERFACE WITH THEM MYSELF RATHER THAN RELYING ON A SPOTTER. NO ENEMY INFILTRATOR HAS REACHED ANY RESTRICTED AREA EVER SINCE."

-Clover:

"AH YES, YOU HAVE MET 'HATTED HUMAN'. THEY AND 'TALL LADY' WERE THE VERY FIRST ENTRIES ON MY 'FRIENDS' LIST. I OWE THE TWO OF THEM A GREAT DEAL. THEY AND THEIR ALLIES WORKED HARD TO RESTORE THE STEAMWORKS TO THEIR FORMER GLORY. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO ARRANGED FOR MY UPGRADES. AND ABOVE ALL ELSE, THEY INTRODUCED ME TO MY LOVELY SPOUSE DAISY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK TO THEM? HOLD ON, I WILL SEND A CAMERA DRONE OVER TO THEM..."

...

"THEY SAY HI. ALSO THAT THEY LOVE ME VERY MUCH. I LOVE YOU TOO, DARLING."

Asking "Superweapon" or "Revision 2" gives you enough information to complete Undyne's mission. You don't have to ask both, just one is enough.

After leaving the Steamworks, call Martlet.

Martlet: "You're out of the Steamworks? Okay, I'll distract the guards. Hop in the elevator and come on up."

Attempting to use the elevator without calling her first will have Frisk call her automatically (*This must be the elevator to Hotland. You take out your cell phone and call Martlet.)

After leaving the elevator, you can proceed to the Lab as normal. You are also able to return to the Steamworks via the lifts immediately after meeting Alphys for the first time, rather than needing to reach R3 first.

Before we leave off, about the Strange Package. The Strange Package contains 3 items, meaning you need 2 extra empty slots in order to open it. If you don't have enough:

*You try to open the package...

*Seems like there's a lot in there. You might need more space in your inventory.

Opening it:

*You opened the Strange Package. It contained a Ragged Hat, an Old Toy Gun, and a Yellowed Letter.

Ragged Hat- INFO:

*"Ragged Hat" - Armor DF 11

*An old, child-sized cowboy hat. It's clearly been well-loved.

Old Toy Gun- INFO:

*"Old Toy Gun" - Weapon AT 9

*The spring feels completely worn out. Someone really loved this thing.

Yellowed Letter- INFO:

*A letter written on old-timey yellow parchment.

Yellowed Letter- USE:

*You read the letter. It's from Clover.

*Kid,

*I'm no good with writing letters, so I'll keep it short. I want you to have these. They helped me through some tough times. I hope they can do the same for you.

*No matter what happens next, don't give up. And if you ever need a break, you'll always be welcome here in Sanctuary.

*Take care of yourself.

*-Clover

-------

Okay. That finally wraps up Sanctuary. At least for now. We will be checking up on them again later on, but for now I want to move things along. Next time: The elusive Dr. Alphys and the mysterious and menacing Mettaton make their debut.

Desert Sanctuary AU

Post Undertale Yellow True Pacifist. Clover decides to NOT sacrifice himself. Doing so would risk bringing humanity a set closer to extinction and there is also no real guarantee it would help anyone. And Asgore still needs to pay for his crimes.

He and the others return to the Wild East. After some discussion, the Wild East declares independence from the rest of the Underground and announces that any human within their borders is under their protection.

Roles

Clover: Unofficial Leader and Human Ambassador

He's at the head of all diplomatic meetings between the Wild East and the Larger Underground. Wants both peace and justice. Is trying to prove humanity isn't bad but is constantly battling his own anger. Still plans to free the five souls. LV 3, 0 EXP

Ceroba: Official Leader

After the Wild East declared its independence, it was made into a Democracy. Ceroba is the current Mayor of the town. Had the Steamworks repurposed to help the residents of the Wild East. Still wants answers about Kanakoe.

Starlo: Head of Law Enforcement and Defence.

Takes his new role very seriously but still goes by North Star. Human-hating extremists from the Larger Underground have sneaked into the Wild East to either sabotage them or steal Clover's soul. Caught the first unlucky bastard trying to kill Clover in his sleep. Doesn't want to risk that happening again.

Martlet: Scout and Mole.

Not an official resident of the Wild East. Still works for the Royal Guard but only to gather intel and have the best possible chance to find a human before someone else and bring them to the Wild East. Unsure if this is the best course of action.

[sudoscience]

Getting really tired of Tera Pokémon being able to attack two or three times in a row. If they were going to bring back Strong and Agile styles, it would have been nice if the players got it too.

(To be clear, I'm not talking about when it removes your buffs, removes its debuffs, and steals your Tera Orb charge all on a single turn, although that's annoying too. I mean when it attacks you and then attacks again, knocking you out before you even get to have your turn. Or when it does something like use Swords Dance followed by immediately attacking.)

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

#1 Day of asking random shit to blogs I follow because I can and I want to + boredom

Do you have any Undertale OCs and/or your own Undertale AU? If you do, can you explain the lore? :]

I'm more of an AU rewriter actually. I'm taking popular AUs and try to make them more realistic and mature (and more political, I love the Underground politics, that's like my favorite subject).

So far, I'm working on Horrortale with my fanfiction Horrortale : Rotten Apple, which is actually more of a pre-Horrortale fanfiction, since I'm working on the events between when Frisk left the Underground and the famine. So far, it's like 20 chapters and Undyne is still not queen. I want her coup d'état to be violent and the result of months and months of bad decisions, not only her bad decisions, but also Toriel's ones as a ruler. Toriel is not a bad ruler at all, but she is impopular because of her exil in the Ruins and the fact that despite Asgore's death, who was loved by the Underground, she did nothing to prevent something like that to happen again. Undyne being the one Asgore's trained, monsters will slowly turn their back to Toriel, which will have consequences on other characters like Sans, Papyrus, Flowey or Grillby. Frisk is not the one responsible for all this either, as they are trying to save monsterkind in a world where adults don't believe them at all. That's a really difficult story to write, but I'm having so much fun with it.

The second one is Underfell, with my fanfiction No Weakness. It's a Papyrus centric fanfiction that takes place after a pacifist route. Since there's no reason for Asgore to let Frisk live, Frisk is actually still Underground, living the best life with Toriel, and protected by a pact formed by Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Mettaton and Alphys. The kid must stay a secret. But after some months, Papyrus is doubting the plan, as not only they could all be executed if something goes wrong, but there's also the problem of Frisk becoming more independant and asking more and more questions, and worse, taking Papyrus as an exemple, which he absolutely doesn't want because he is ashame of what he has to do every day to survive. No Weakness is also about Undyne, who suddenly starts to act strange, which worried Papyrus, until one day, she left the guard. Papyrus is quite distressed and doesn't understand until Asgore announces his soon to come wedding with her on live TV. The only problem being that Papyrus knows Undyne hates him with all of her soul, and that she is not there willingly. But Papyrus is also the general of the royal guard now, and as a general, you shut up and close your eyes on a lot of things. But Papyrus is really not sure he can do that.

The last one is the most close from an AU I guess, it's What is best for humankind. It's a war AU, focusing on Sans and Papyrus childhood. It's an AU because they are a lot younger in the games, so they couldn't live through the war, but I tried to make it coherent. Sans and Papyrus are forced to run away from their village one night, as humans are attacking. Gaster, their dad, being forced to fight, left them escape alone. Sans will have to protect his brother, and soon, a very small Undyne and a human through the devastated lands leading to Mount Ebott. It's both a survival story and a dramatic story as Sans will have to do and witness things he never should have, and face the betrayal of the only person who is supposed to keep him safe, his own father. Because this AU main story is about what being a judge means. In this world, the royal judge is not a job, it's a very rare class of monsters like boss monsters are. Judge monsters are very low HP monsters that can use karma magic, which is the same magic Sans use in his genocide battle in the game. During the war, the Judges, mainly pacifist, all died during the talks for a peace treaty, as the humans saw an opportunity to get rid of them all at once. The only problem being the magic the Judge develop can only activate if the Judge is traumatised and presents a abnormal level of determination. Sans is the only one left, he is not activated, and Gaster wants him to basically explodes in rage in the human castle to kill the Emperor. For this, he knows there's one solution that will sure piss him off enough: killing Papyrus. But Gaster is also the only one who is sure this plan will work, as both Toriel and Asgore are horrified by the idea. To stop the war, how far all of them are willing to go? That's the main story!

My last AU is a more classic one, it's a Sans x Reader fanfiction in a post-pacifist universe, Remember the good days. However, Sans is not exactly himself as he suffers terrible memory loss after a tragic attack during one of Frisk's speech. It's getting worse and worse as Sans is not enough stimulated with Papyrus in college. But Papyrus has a plan. He wants you to stimulate Sans, and he is even willing to pay for that. Surely he told Sans everything before hand and Sans won't hate you at all for this. ... Right?

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #192

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're building the enchanting Caster of Okeanos, which despite her name doesn't actually show up in Okeanos, but rather the fourth pseudosingularity, Salem. She's also one of the last servants in the game (so far) to have her true name hidden, so pretty soon I can stop pointing out how her character build below the cut has true name spoilers. Specifically, this build also includes spoilers for the Salem pseudosingularity, so read at your own peril.

If you'd rather just check out her character sheet, you can find that over here.

Next up: The equal to the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, so just, equal to heaven, I guess.

Circe is a Transmutation Wizard, because she is a witch, and Transmutation is where they stuck polymorph.

Race and Background

Like her protege, Circe is an Elf, but if we want kindasorta falcon wings, that might be tricky. Just kidding, for some reason WotC thought winged elves were a priority, so we got Avariel Elves from an unearthed arcana. This means you only get +2 to a single stat, but we can make that Intelligence thanks to Tasha's for a brain blast. Your subrace gives you 30' of flying speed as long as you don't wear medium or heavy armor (not an issue), as well as the standard elf kit: Darkvision, Fey Ancestry to protect against charms, Trances instead of sleep, and proficiency in Perception thanks to your Keen Senses.

Circe lives on her island alone (if you don't count pigs) so that makes her a Hermit, privy to the secrets of the universe as well as Medicine and replacing the other proficiency (which we'll get back as a class proficiency) with Deception. Tricking men into turning into pigs is kind of a hobby for you.

Ability Scores

Your strongest score should go into Intelligence, that's how you cast spells, and also you're clearly more intelligent than the men who show up on your island. Speaking of, Charisma is next- you're a witch in the middle of a witch hunt that somehow never got caught, and there's also that whole Pig Island thing. Your Dexterity is also pretty good, it's hard enough to cast spells while walking, let alone flying. Also those heels, oh my fucking god how have you not broken an ankle yet. Your Constitution is above average mostly because I'd feel bad putting it any lower. That means your Wisdom is pretty low. You publicly introduce yourself as a witch in the middle of the Salem Witch Trials, and you're pretty flighty in general. Finally, dump Strength. You're a wizard, and you're clearly not that buff.

Class Levels

Circe is a wizard, meaning she starts off with proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, as well as Arcana and Religion. When you worship the goddess of magic, there isn't much of a difference, tbh. Speaking of magic, you can cast and prepare Spells using your Intelligence. Your spell slots normally only recharge on long rests, but once per long rest you can get a couple slots back on a short rest thanks to your Arcane Recovery, giving you back slots of a total level equal to half your wizard level rounded up. So when you hit level three, you can get back one 2nd level slot, or two 1st level slots. The thing about wizard is, they get a lot of spells. Six now, and two each level, plus whatever they can scavenge from other wizards. Since Circe's whole power set is "good at magic", there really isn't a set of spells that fit- any spell you could cast would be applicable. So rather than try to boil it down myself, we're just giving a rough guide here. There's a whole ass list on the character sheet, and we'll bring up the super important ones here, but really there's three qualifications: if a spell fits into one of these categories, Circe would probably have it. 1. Is it useful? The most open-ended, but just fill in spaces left by the other 2 with spells you want. I'm not a goddamn baby sitter, pick spells you like. 2. Can it turn one thing into another? Men to pigs, You into Medea, whatever kykeon is made out of into kykeon, this one's pretty easy to spot. 3. Can it help someone sail a ship? A bit specific, but helping the sailors she doesn't turn into pigs is also Circe's thing. Skill empowerment, weather control, that kind of thing. With all that out of the way, the big spells you'll probably want at first level are Mage Armor for not dying, Magic Missile for caster balls, and Sleep to knock out the sailors while you go around turning them to pigs. True Polymorph takes an hour per sailor and you need to recharge with a long rest, so this’ll take a while.

At second level, you become a Transmutation Savant, giving you all sorts of bonuses, like how copying transmutation spells into your book is cheaper and faster now. You can also make Minor Alchemy, turning 1 cubic foot of wood, stone, iron, copper, or silver, into another material on that list over the course of 10 minutes. You're not strong enough to shatter wooden chains either, but hopefully someone on your team is. This transformation lasts up to an hour or until you lose concentration, then it turns back to its regular form.

Third level wizards get Cantrip Formulas, letting you swap out one cantrip you know with a cantrip you don't know at the end of a long rest. You also get second level spells, like Alter Self to turn into Medea (among other benefits), and Gust of Wind to help out with sailing.

Use your first Ability Score Improvement to get a Keen Mind- always knowing which way you're facing and the angle the sun should be at are both really useful on the open sea. It also rounds up your Intelligence for stronger spells, and you can make your DM's life hell by remembering things up to a month after they happened.

Fifth level wizards get third level spells. Feign Death will help fake Mata Hari’s hanging later on, and Bestow Curse is super useful, since it can give a creature disadvantage on one kind of save. Like, say, wisdom saves. I wonder if there's a spell you like that requires a wisdom save coming up?

Sixth level transmutation wizards can create a Transmuter's Stone, a tiny object that gives its holder one of several benefits. When you make the stone, and if you're holding it while casting a transmutation spell, you can choose its beneft from the following: Darkvision, increased speed, proficiency in constitution saves, or resistance to one of acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder. You can only make one at a time after 8 hours of work, so don't try to stack them.

Seventh level wizards get fourth level spells, and you could get polymorph now if you really want, but you can also get that spell later for free, so if you're patient, you can get another spell now. If you do go for polymorph, it forces a wisdom save on a creature, and if they fail the save or they're willing, you can turn one creature into a beast with a CR equal to or less than the target's CR or level. All of the creature's stats are replaced by the new creature's, outside of alignment and personality. If it drops to 0 HP in this form, and hour passes, or you drop concentration, they turn back to normal. You can also cast other fourth level spells, like Control Water for sailing, Fabricate to turn... barley, just looked it up, into kykeon. Or any raw materials into a finished product that is Large or smaller.

At eighth level, you get another ASI that'll let you max out your Intelligence for super strong spells. That, plus your curses, will make your polymorph super hard to resist. When you get it.

Ninth level wizards get fifth level spells, like Control Winds and Skill Empowerment, as well as Scrying.

A tenth level transmuter is a Shapechanger, giving you the polymorph spell for free. You can also cast it on yourself once per short rest for free, but only if you turn into something CR 1 or lower. Sadly Medea isn't a beast or CR 1, but it doesn't hurt to practice. Also, yeah! You can now turn pretty much anyone into a Pig (CR 0, so there’s no excuse) or if you want to weaponize it, a Giant Boar (CR 2). Just promise to turn them back if they do your bidding. Still only lasts an hour, but they don’t have to know that.

Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells. There really isn’t anything specifically Circe-like I want at this level, so just grab whatever your heart wants. There will be time for specifics later.

At twelfth level you get another ASI, and since your intelligence is maxed out we can diversify. Grab the War Caster feat for advantage on concentration saves (very good for pigmaking), the ability to cast spells with your hands full (not applicable), and best of all, you can cast spells as opportunity attacks if that spell as an action casting time and targets a creature. Oh hey, guess what spell fits that description?

Thirteenth level casters get seventh level spells! Again, not necessarily anything you need from here, but Plane Shift is always cool. Maybe you can stumble onto the pig dimension or something.

Your last goody from the transmutation specialty is to become a Master Transmuter, burning your transmuter stone in one go for a burst of magical power. Afterwards, you can’t make a new one until you take a long rest. You can use this for a Major Transformation, permanently changing a medium or smaller nonmagical object into another of similar size & mass (you also can’t cheese value out of this) over the course of 10 minutes. Alternatively, you make a Panacea, removing all curses, diseases, and poisons from a single creature, while also healing it back to full health. That’s some good eating. Going even further, you can Restore Life to cast Raise Dead without a spell slot. Death is a pretty hard line in the Nasuverse, but if anyone could do it it’d probably be Circe. Finally, you can Restore Youth to reduce a creature’s age by 3d10 years without extending their lifespan. You’ve clearly used that on yourself a couple times, but I can’t blame you.

Fifteenth level wizards get eighth level spells, and for once there is something I want to get. You might not use Scylla in-game, but hey, giant sea monsters are cool, so use either Summon Greater Demon, Dominate Monster, or Illusory Dragon to get one, depending on your preferred method.

You get yet another ASI, so bump up your Constitution for better concentration and more health- remember, health gets added retroactively, so that’s 16 extra this level, not one.

At seventeenth level you finally get ninth level spells, giving you access to Mass Polymorph for a proper pig banquet. This one is limited to only half the targets’ levels, but a pig is still CR 0, so it shouldn’t be a big issue. However, if you’re feeling really cruel, you can use True Polymorph for a more... permanent solution. If you keep concentration up for a full hour, the change lasts until it is dispelled. You can also turn objects into creatures, or creatures into objects, but none of those are particularly in character.

Eighteenth level wizards get Spell Mastery, giving you a 1st & 2nd level spell that you can cast for absolutely free, no restrictions. You can always change it later, but I highly suggest Magic Missile so you always have some damage on standby, and Alter Self for the versatility of it.

Your penultimate level grants you your ultimate ASI, so bump up your Charisma for an easier time tricking sailors. It doesn’t do much for the build, but at this point it doesn’t need to.

Your final level of the build gives you two Signature Spells, 3rd level spells that you can cast once per short rest without spending a spell slot. Sadly polymorph is a fourth level spell so it isn’t in the running, but Bestow Curse and Tidal Wave are good runners up. I never said you had to be nice to sailors, just help them out occasionally.

Pros and Cons

Pros

Polymorph is one of the easiest ways to utterly shut down an enemy if it hits, at the very least buying you an hour to run away and regroup. It’s also very funny.

The Transmuter’s Stone is a very powerful support tool, protecting you and giving you healing options wizards don’t normally get. You also come loaded with tools like Skill Empowerment, which is just flexible enough to be useful even when you’re not on a ship.

You get concentration free flight, which is incredibly useful for a spellcaster. Being able to completely avoid an enemy’s front line and turn their back line into pigs is very useful.

Cons

The reason your flight being concentration free is such a big deal is because a lot of your spells use concentration. Honestly, your saves aren’t that bad (esp. with war caster) but it still limits your options, especially when your signature move requires concentration.

While your stone is powerful, it has a huge recharge time to contend with, requiring a long rest followed by an extra 8 hours of work, and the entire time between now and then you might as well not have a subclass. It’s a pretty harsh penalty for actually using your class feature.

It takes a while for this build to go from level one to casting polymorph, so if you want a build you can jump right into and feel like the character, this build definitely isn’t what you’re looking for.

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Translation: Tsuzuru SSR Card “Everyone From the Minagi Family” [ Midnight cramming ]

Real wholesome brotherly love from all sides.

Izumi

Umm, tomorrow’s schedule...

…... Hm? Did something fall?

(Is this... a family photo of the Minagis? Tsuzuru must’ve lost it here)

(Tszuru-kun, let’s see if you’re in your room right now...... huh?)

Tsuzuru

…....

Izumi

(Looks like he’s working on something. He’s really concentrated... I wonder if it’s okay to call out to him right now.)

(But then again, I’m just gonna give him his photo back.)

Tsuzuru-kun.

Tsuzuru

Director, is something up?

Izumi

Sorry for the interruption.

But Tsuzuru-kun, this photo is yours, isn’t it?

Tsuzuru

Hm? …...Ah, it is!

Izumi

It fell back over there.

Tsuzuru

Ugh, I’m sorry. I had no idea when I dropped it.

Thank you so much.

Izumi

It’s a nice photo.

Tsuzuru

Kaoru came to my part-time job today. That’s when he handed it over to me.

He also wanted me to tell you he said hello.

Izumi

I’m glad that Kaoru-kun seems to be doing well.

Come to think of it, how are Tadoru-san and Meguru-san?

Tsuzuru

My brother’s coming back from overseas at the end of this month, and I’m planing to stop by my parents’ house by then.

Well, I’m really not sure if I’ll be able to go, though......

Izumi

Why not?

Tsuzuru

Actually...

*flashback*

Tsuzuru

Thanks, Kaoru.

Kaoru

Yeah, sorry for dropping by out of the blue.

Tsuzuru

Well, I didn’t expect you to go all the way to my part-time job, Kaoru.

Kaoru

I just happened to pass by and I wanted to see my big brother working.

Tell your director I said hi.

Tsuzuru

Sure thing.

Kaoru

Oh yeah that’s right, I was gonna give you this.

Tsuzuru

?

Part 2

Kaoru

It’s the picture I took of you back at our parents’ house, I went ahead and printed it out.

Tsuzuru

Heh... these days I just take pics with my phone and leave them as it is, but it’s nice to have printed pictures like this.

Kaoru

Right?

I think the next time big brother’s coming back home is by the end of this month.

Tsuzuru

Aah... I was just about to ask about that.

Kaoru

Big bro said he’s coming to visit our parents’ home by then.

Tsuzuru

The end of this month... the deadlines of my university assignments and part-time job overlap......

Kaoru

Sounds rough.

Don’t push yourself if you’re that busy.

Tsuzuru

Yeah. But I’ll try to go home as soon as I can. I wanna see you guys too.

Kaoru

The last photo didn’t have Tadoru-niichan and Meguru-niichan in it, so I hope we can all take a pic together.

Tsuzuru

I know that’s right.

*end of flashback*

Tsuzuru

…... So that’s why,

I don’t think I might be able to go head to my parents’ house......

But I still want to show up as soon as I can, so I’m working on this as early as now.

Izumi

I see.

[ Option 1: Don’t push yourself too hard or you’ll collapse ]

Izumi

Don’t force yourself to the point of collapsing like you do with the scripts.

Tuzuru-kun when you concentrate, you get so absorbed in your work that you forget to eat or sleep.

Tsuzuru

… I’ll be fine.

Nothing to worry about if I do collapse.

Besides, reports aside, writing is something I like to do.

[ Option 2: Tsuzuru-kun sure is a family man ]

Izumi

Tsuzuru-kun you’re quite the family man.

Tsuzuru

Sometimes when I’m at home, there were times when I had thoughts of wanting to be alone......

Living apart from them like this, it gets you missing their faces.

Izumi

Tsuzuru-kun's home sounds like it’s very lively.

Tsuzuru

Well, MANKAI dorms isn’t too different. Both are very important places for me.

Tsuzuru

I want to continue writing more good stories as the playwright for MANKAI Company.

Izumi

Fufuu, I’m looking forward to it.

Izumi

It’s Massaman curry for tonight!

Chikage

I’m liking the scent of cardamom and coriander.

Izumi

I had good spices on hand, so I made it.

Citron

I can smell the oriental scent in the air~. It stimulates my appetite!

Masumi

The curry you make is the best in the world...

Sakuya

What kind of curry is Massaman curry?

Izumi

It’s curry made with chicken, potatoes, onions, peanuts, and other ingredients simmered in coconut milk with spices.

Sakuya

It’s so unique to have peanuts in it! I can’t wait to see what it tastes like.

Izumi

There’s a lot of it, so have another one!

Masumi

I’ll eat the whole pot......

Izumi

Don’t eat the pot, it’s okay.

Chikage

There’s a lot of spices that work well together, and the ingredients are simmered tenderly.

Itaru

Senpai, you’re like a nagging food critic.

Chikage

The “nagging” part was unnecessary.

Sakuya

Director, it’s really delicious!

Citron

I feel like I have travelled to another country~!

Izumi

Fufuu, I’m glad you’re happy.

Tsuzuru

Yawn.......

Citron

It is the great yawn~!

Izumi

Tsuzuru-kun, are you sleep-deprived?

Itaru

Maybe Tsuzuru’s pulling all-nighter event rounds?

Tsuzuru

Itaru-san please don’t go lumping me in with you.

I’m working on the report I told you about.

Chikage

University assignments?

Tsuzuru Yeah. I have a lot of research to do and it’s not looking good for me right now......

Masumi

You stayed up late yesterday.

Izumi

Really?

Sakuya

Tsuzuru-kun, are you okay?

Tsuzuru

Hmm, I have a lot of part-time jobs to do, so my progress isn’t that good......

It looks like I’m gonna have to concentrate on finishing this soon, or I won’t be able to go to my parents’ house...... I’ll do the best I can somehow.

Thanks for the meal.

I’ll be heading to my room, then.

Izumi

Tsuzuru-kun, I hope he doesn’t overexert himself......

Sakuya

He had such a tired look on his face.

Chikage

He’s the type of guy who’ll soldier on through his fatigue.

Citron

If he collapses, he will be given kancho! *

Izumi

Given care.

Itaru

If you did that to Tsuzuru your HP would be KO’d straight to 0 on the spot.

Sakuya

I hope his assignments go well.

Izumi

Same here...

Masumi

…...

Part 3

Masumi

Zzz, zzz.......

Tsuzuru

Yawn......

…... It’s not done yet.

(My shoulders feel stiff and my eyes hurt...)

I’m tired...

I-it's already this late?

Yawn......

(…... I should nap for a bit.)

….......... *snore*.

Masumi

…...

Tsuzuru

Hnn...

(Oh man, I think I overslept...)

Hm? A blanket?

(And even jelly drinks......)

(I knew it, someone wouldn’t come into my room at this time of the night.)

(So that leaves......)

Masumi

Zzz, zzz......

Tsuzuru

…... Thanks, Masumi.

‘kay, I’ll do my best in the spur of the moment then.

Izumi

Oh, morning Tsuzuru-kun.

Tsuzuru

Good morning.

Izumi

Do you think you can handle your assignments?

Tsuzuru

I think I can make it.

Izumi

I see. I guess you can go back to your parents’ house then.

Tsuzuru

I’m glad that I can just adjust my part-time job shifts.

Other than, there’s also this...... I got support from Masumi.

Izumi

Jelly drinks...? A gift from Masumi-kun?

Tsuzuru

I guess so.

It was on my desk while I was taking a nap.

Izumi

It’s so like Masumi-kun to not hand it face to face.

Tsuzuru

Right?

And to think that the same Masumi who went through all that when he first came to the troupe would show his support like this.

Izumi

…... That’s right.

I think you two get a long really well.

Tsuzuru

Well, he’s like a cute little brother now, just like Sakuya.

Masumi

…... Tsuzuru, you’re too close to director.

Tsuzuru

Ah, Masumi.

Izumi

Masumi-kun, morning.

Masumi

Morning. Director, you look really cute this morning.

Izumi

Hahaha... Masumi-kun you look good too.

Tsuzuru

Oh right, Masumi.

Masumi

…... What.

Tsuzuru

You left this there for me, didn’t you?

Thanks to you, I’ll be able to finish my assignment.

Masumi

…... Director was worried.

Tsuzuru

Thanks.

Masumi

…... Annoying. If I’m gonna have someone stroke my head, I’d rather it be director.

Tsuzuru

Yeah, yeah.

Masumi

…... I already told you to stop. I’m not some dog.

Tsuzuru

It’s fine.

Masumi

It’s not.

Izumi

(Those two really smile like two brothers.)

Story Clear! 

-------------------------------

Kancho in Japan is basically where you form a handgun with your two hands and stick your fingers up someone’s ass to shock them as a prank

[siswritesyanderes]

This is a series of asks bc, while I do LIKE all the charas of Fantastic Beasts individually, much of the romantic pairings dont sit well with me. By that mean the messy love polygon w Newt & I think I finally figured out why & I'd like another's opinion on it. For starters, Newt's attraction with Tina is too fast for me considering he was friends w Leta, got expelled out of Hogwarts for Leta, carried Leta's photo in his case, & basically loved her for YEARS. But this is all undone by a [1]

jaunt in NY having met a woman, who he admittedly went on a huge adventure w, over the course of maybe a few weeks. He's so taken w her she replaces Leta's photo w her own &, after refusing to go to Paris for Dumbledore, leaves immediately once he finds out she's there. I just find this unbelievable. I can rationalize it from Newt's perspective where Tina is a fresh breeze sweeping into his life on (percieved) unrequited pining, but this is my conjecture based on my understanding of Newt. [2]

The audience shouldnt be left to rationalize endgame couple of the mc on their own. & the whole thing w Leta is so messily handled I dont think they can save it even if they bring her back in FB3. How she feels for Newt vs Theseus & unresolved lingering affection, etc. She & Newt were SO important to each other & we SEE that & they dont HAVE to get together, but they need proper resolution bc they have actual history between them. God Leta in general deserved so much better. [3]

But my main gripe is that this love polygon serves no purpose to what I believe is the main selling point of FB: the world. HP having love stories makes sense bc we're following the story of a boy as he goes through adolescence & his journey through that via school is part of that, which is why the romance feels fitting. It's a very personal story. FB on the otherhand is the best peak we have at the wider wizarding world beyond school. HP introduces the world of magic, but FB rlly expands it [4]

To that end Jakob & Queenie's relationship is the only one I find myself liking, bc it's deeply tied to the world setting, the series' biggest selling point (in my opinion, should have said this earlier). It underscores the attitudes of the period & the conflict they face feels suitably substantial & not like filler. There's a moral question between them of are they worth it? And how far should they go to be together?

Imma be real hear & say FB2 was rlly Queenie's movie & they should have been ballsy & just make Queenie the mc for FB2, bc her story was actually considerably more important to the overall development of the story than Newt's, which mostly came off as a rushed & a tad clichè soap drama. & making it about Queenie I think builds more room for good conflict & independent narrative for Tina that would serve her chara better. [5? 6?]

If I bad to be REAL ballsy, I'd say my big issue w/ the relationships in the FB series & how it enhances or impedes the main story & what I believe to be it's biggest attracter (the setting) could have been solved if they made Newt's romantic interest a muggle. It attaches a deeper meaning & relevance to them & the story so it felt more deeply that they truly moved WITH the narrative rather than beside it but I guess Im just picky. Thx for putting up w this! [Final]

(My response below the cut.)

Yeah, pretty much all of this is right.

Regarding the Tina thing, it was definitely rushed, especially since there was literally nothing romantic between them in the whole first movie, except maybe the end part where they're stumbling over their words. Despite knowing how movies work and knowing that they were the male and female lead, I still found that completely out of left field, because they don't really share any interests and I didn't feel like they felt anything in particular for each other before that. She really wants to be an auror and feels really intensely about it; he just wants to travel the world and write about magical creatures and take care of them. I don't see a lot of compatibility there, and the movie didn't really do anything to reconcile that gap.

Jacob and Queenie made sense, because they actually sowed some seeds for it. It's not even about the fact that they both like to cook; they showed an interest in each other throughout. They noticeably like each other. Newt and Tina never really had that, to me, so it was bizarre for her to become his primary motivation in the second movie.

Queenie's trajectory in movie 2 overall bothers me, so while I agree it would have been better if they'd centered it more around her, I definitely think they needed to drastically rewrite pretty much everything she did. Enchanting Jacob at the beginning never sat well with me; I usually only have to say this in the Descendants fandom, but if one half of the ship is magical and the other half isn't, we can't have the magical one enchanting the non-magical one for romantic reasons without addressing what a violation of trust that is. Like, Jacob would be justified for never trusting her again, over that. Also, the fact that she apparently holds it against people if they think bad things about her is not something I would expect from someone who has been a Legilimens as long as she has, and not a detail I like, at all. Especially since it was used to give her justification to be mad at Jacob after she enchanted him in the first place. I find it sad, because Queenie was definitely my favorite character in the first movie. (Also, joining Grindelwald was a nonsensical thing to do. I can only assume she's there to spy on him or something, because it makes literally no sense.)

As for Leta, I really don't like how that was approached. First of all, I don't like how their mention of her in the first movie was "She was a taker; you need a giver," because once we actually met the character, that only made me resent Queenie for representing her that way. Leta deserved better in pretty much every way, and they definitely shouldn't have killed her off like that. I find the whole situation really iffy from a racial standpoint. The first black character to be written three-dimensionally in all of HP lore, and they make sure to preemptively tell the audience that she's a "taker", kill her in the same movie we meet her, and manage to trivialize her death by turning it into a little "Who was she saying 'I love you' to?" mystery. I like her relationship with Newt and Theseus, and I'd definitely want to see more of it.

Yes, it definitely would have been better, thematically, if they'd made the love interest a Muggle. (I'd honestly say they should've paired Newt with Jacob, but I know they're unwilling to do that. That would be kind of cool, though, to see the movie shaping up with two male characters and two female characters and have the men end up with each other and the women just live their lives as humans.)

With the story they ended up telling, though, I don't think that is needed; since Queenie is already dealing with the wizard/Muggle storyline, Newt could have a different conflict. Maybe his love interest should be a werewolf or something, to tie in the wizarding world's unresolved dislike for "half-breeds". And if he were in a relationship with someone already regarded as a creature, the wider wizarding world might take a different view to his studies and look down on him a lot more. Idk, a thought.

And then, with Leta/Theseus and Grindelwald/Dumbledore (if they were willing to actually deal with that), they'd pretty much hit every controversial beat they've got: wizard/Muggle, wizard/"half-breed", interracial, homosexual. Credence and Nagini are both creatures, kind of, but I still like them together, so their relationship doesn't have to tie into any theme; it just has to be developed way more.

On the whole, Crimes of Grindelwald felt like they skipped a movie. It feels like they needed a middle installment to make these relationships happen, instead of jumping from "Do Newt and Tina maybe have feelings for each other?" to "Newt loves Tina and Tina is possessive enough of Newt to be outwardly upset with him when she thinks he's engaged to someone else," and creating a whole relationship between Credence and Nagini that we see none of.

The fact that Queenie and Jacob were done well in the first movie gives me a fair amount of goodwill for them, but that goodwill only offers enough cushioning from the botching that movie 2 did that I'm near-indifferent to the ship, now, instead of actively opposed. I'd like to see things improved, but as it currently stands, I'd be just as happy seeing them end up not together as together. The fact that Leta's relationships with Newt and Theseus were more interesting than any of the aforementioned makes it that much more ridiculous that they killed her. What ship am I supposed to care about how? If I can't go into the next movie delusionally hoping Newt and Leta will get some moments, or enjoying the Theseus and Leta content, then I'll just be sitting there waiting for Credence and Nagini to share a screen, and who knows when that'll happen?

[plussizeappreciationfics]

*rolls up to ask box* Lemmee get a Yoongi with plus size black reader where she's a teacher who moved to Korea teaching English at a university. She's grading papers at a 24 hr coffee shop with her 4c hair in puffs & glasses on. He's out getting his beloved iced Americano and he sees her. He's watches her for a bit until she overhears him talking about her fine ass in korean thinking she can't understand him but she snaps her head up and speaks perfect korean to the waitress? Sorry it's so long

I changed it a little bit but here you go wifey! 

First encounter

“God, this is so good…” you sighed in happiness once the delicate taste of your sweet cappuccino hit your tastebuds. This was exactly that you needed after a long day at school: a nice coffee and a new book to enjoy reading at your favourite café.

After clocking out, you had gone home to change into something comfortable and decided to let your hair rest in cute little buns and your glasses just complimented the whole outfit. Thank God it was Friday because you were so ready to just unwind and spend some quality time alone. You had some plans to go and have some fun in Seoul but those weren’t fully convinced of the plans just yet. Teaching had been very exhausted, but you loved your job, nonetheless.

You were about to dive back into your book when you noticed a very handsome guy sitting just two tables away from you. He had his laptop out, with something that looked like a small portable piano keyboard. He was bobbing his head along to whatever tunes were blasting through his headphones. You couldn’t help when he suddenly broke out grinning, showing off his gummy smile and it instantly made your heart swell with happiness.

The handsome stranger continued to grin while tapping away at his laptop, making you lose yourself in his little bubble, you were growing curious to what he was creating while wondering whether you’d ever be lucky enough to listen to it.

“Shit!” you hissed to yourself when the handsome stranger noticed your gaze on him and snapped his head in your direction, the two of you making instant eye contact. In that moment you released two things:

1. You had been staring at Min Yoongi aka, BTS’s Suga 

2. Min smiled when your eyes locked, and he gave you a gentle head nod

To say that you were panicking a little was an understatement. That man wasn’t just a celebrity but also had acknowledged your existence. A boost of self-confidence rushed through your body while you looked down at your book and mentally counted to ten in order to get your shit together. This wasn’t happening.

It took you more than ten seconds to calm down before clearing your throat and trying to focus on the phrases of your book. Your tensed shoulders slowly relaxed again, and a small smile crept onto your face, you had never guessed this would happen in a million years.

Five minutes into your book, you randomly glanced up again and noticed that Min was still staring at you. You gave him a small smile and raised your cup of coffee, not knowing that your beauty was putting the musician in complete awe. He hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off you as he instantly was interested in you.

Sure, Min had seen and met many beautiful people in his life but something about your smooth brown skin, the clothes that were hugging it perfectly and your simple behaviour was doing something to him. You didn’t know that he had paused his music and made it his personal mission to try and get close to you. Min was happy that today was the day he had decided to leave the house in order to find some inspiration for BTS’s upcoming song, because you were now the newly discovered inspiration.

The group had decided to write another beautiful love song, this time not just only expressing hopes of finding that intense and addicting love but to actually write about experiencing it. Not many knew that Min Yoongi had experienced that kind of love, it hadn’t lasted for a very long time but his heart had once belonged to someone special. The breakup nearly killed him though, the pain was unbearable and the musician had ever since been afraid to even approach someone.

Seeing you there, he felt his stomach flip in anxiety but also excitement because he felt determined to get to know you. Your eyes locked for a few more minutes before you felt like a creep and decided to get back to reading.

Taking another sip of your cup, you noticed your palms starting to sweat as Min’s handsomeness was simply too overwhelming for you. “Such a beauty”, whispered the singer in Korean before shaking his head in amazement.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?!

You screamed in your head, your eyes almost popping out of its sockets. Min didn’t know that you were fluent in Korean as it was a necessity in order to teach in the country and probably didn’t expect you to understand him, so he felt more than free to voice his opinion on you.

You took a big sip from your coffee and decided to take your interaction a step further. You took a few deep breaths before standing up, collecting your book, hot drink and phone before walking over to him and joining him at this table.

Min let out a surprised gasp when you looked at him and replied in Korean “Thanks for the compliment”. Then you started the conversation, saying that you had been fluent in the language for a few years now and that you were a fan of BTS. The way he snapped his laptop shut had you giggling while leaning back against your seat and smiling happily.

Min instantly felt shy and apologised for his comment, expressing how it wasn’t gentleman like and that he just felt so amazed by your beauty. You excitedly let him know that you also found him very beautiful and then you loved his musical talent. The rapper then asked you about your life, you liked your job and how you liked living in Seoul, he patiently listened to you while making mental notes how you beautiful your voice sounded. It was like sweet honey to his craving ears.

You told him a few funny stories that happened while teaching and the way he threw his head back and laughed loudly had you instantly catching feelings. His gummy smile just looked breathtaking, he didn’t give a single fuck about the fact that his loud laughter was booming through the whole café, he just was in his happy moment.

Min then told you different stories of his life as a worldwide known musician, the ups and downs of dealing with fame and even his hopes for the future. It was so easy to read right through him like an open book: that man found happiness in the simplest things of life but was very lonely. He didn’t have many friends and barely had the time to spend some quality time with them, but just from the way he was looking while talking about them, you knew that he loved them dearly. 

Yoongi continued talking about the group’s members, what he had learned from them and how much he loved them despite being very bad at showing his appreciation. You clung onto every word that left his soft and plump lips and imagined what it would be like to feel them gently pressed against yours.

“Hey…Can I take you out sometime? There’s many amazing places I can show you if you want”, Min asked with the most adorable yet shy expression on his face. You were melting away while he was trying his best to not show how much he wanted to hold your hand, listen to you talk for hours and be lucky enough to kiss your plump lips that were calling onto his.

Your numbers already had been exchanged a few minutes into the first conversation so all you could hope for was to get a text from the musician.

“I would love that!” you grinned and couldn’t help but reach out for his hand and give it a quick squeeze. His palms were sweating, and his nostrils immediately appreciated your delicate scent when you leaned in. That man was falling quick and hard for you. You didn’t mind his sweaty hand, actually loved the feeling of his soft skin.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t dare show it. This felt amazing. You wished it never end, but that wasn’t an option, for now. With one final smile you wished Yoongi a nice day before standing up and gathering your things, your cup of coffee already having been consumed. After leaving a few bills and a nice tip on your table, you made your way out of the café without glancing back, knowing damn well that Min was staring at you and your luscious curves.

Tag list: @jamesbarnesappreciationclubub  l @pleasantdreamqueen l @disneymarina l l @harleycativy  l @sparklemichele l @melaninmarvel l @amethyst09 l @the-force-of-imagines l @bossyboyd03 l @pebblesz892 l @stars8melanin l @brittyevans l @toc1985 l @janeyboo l @badassbaker l @winters-beauty l @cannonindeez  l @ilovefanfic86  l @adorablespecialsnowflakes l @brittanyovens l @kanupps06 l @jazmynejack l @thebookwormslytherin l @theunsweetenedtruth l @talannalew l @littlexmissxfandomxlover l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes l @crimsonash330 l @booklover2929 l @aranelgrey l @panda-duuu l @thisismysecrethappyplace  l @titty-teetee l @honey-anon l @princess-evans-addict l @hp-hogwartsexpress l @malindacath  l @letsdisneythings l l @shado-raven l @alisoncdariel l @plutoneu l  @queenoftheworldisdead l @briannab1234l @miyaeadys-blog l l @hihellogoodbyebruh l @nackrosor l @nerdgurl1985 l @2darkskinbeauty l @bugngiz l @african-melanin-goddess l @barnes-wilson-love l @ktiz90 l @let-the-love-in  l @robinredboob l @hopefuloperaangelnerd l @kola95 l @partypoison00 l @alwaysadreamingoptimist l @reniescarlett l @g0thicdream l @mayasopinions l @captaintightpants58 l @leillee

-Emmanuelle 💋❤️

[yakuzadumpingground]

Well since I'm feeling contrarian I'm gonna rank all of the yakuza games I've played (which is everything except the original 1 and 2, Dead Souls, and the Japan only games) which is guaranteed to piss someone off. Starting with the best-

1. Yakuza 0

Ok, not a controversial choice. I'm sorry. But the general consensus is correct. On top of having one of the best stories in the series, a really fun combat system (albeit not very challenging, but it's not like i play yakuza for challenge), and some of the most memorable sidestories, the setting really gives this game a certain style that nothing else in the series has. Also, one of the few yakuza games that's decently paced. Honestly, most of my complaints about this game are nitpicks (such as how grindy maxing out your character is) it's just a kind of boringly perfect game, really.

2. Yakuza: Like a Dragon

"BuT iT's TuRn-BaSeD" ok cool guess you're just gonna miss out on a fantastic fucking game. I gotta say, it was a real hard choice between "I wanna see the side stories" and "I GOTTA know what happens next in the story" sometimes. I don't know else I can say about this game: great story, great characters, just a great time. Admittedly, as an RPG it.... needs work. The encounter rate is WAAAY too high and the job class system is pretty busted. Even still, the genre change is a breath of fresh air and honestly pretty charming at times. Play this, goddamn

3. Yakuza Kiwami 2

It was a real toss up between Kiwami 2 and the game in the 4th slot, but in the end, Kiwami 2 wins by being more consistently enjoyable. Unlike the first two games on this list I can't say Kiwami 2 had a good story exactly, but I can say it's an entertaining one. I was rarely bored playing this, and in terms of sheer fun, Kiwami 2 wins that crown. I was *howling* at the ending, my God.

4. Yakuza 5

I'm of two minds when it comes to this game. On the one hand, some of my favorite stuff is in this game. The intro is very unusual but hit me in a weird way that really stuck with me. It finally made Saejima likable. Playable Haruka. Shinada, my beloved. On the other hand, while Yakuza games having pacing problems is pretty much the norm, whoo boy does yakuza 5 test your patience. Sloths move at the speed of fleas on meth compared to this game. Also, the actual overarching story is pretty weak and uninteresting. It's really best viewed as a collection of loosely connected stories. This game definitely has it's flaws, but the high points more than make up for them

5. Yakuza 6

Someone's gonna get mad that this game isn't lower, I'm sure. Yeah, it's flawed. It's not best send off for Kiryu. It's lacking in content. The ending is fucking terrible. But there's still plenty here to love. I love Onomichi, it's honestly one of my favorite locations in this series, even if there's nothing to do in it. It's just wonderful to look at and walk around in. I like the Onomichi cast. Beat Takeshi is there. Having Kiryu's saga cap off with a game about family is a great idea, and until this game's awful fucking ending it's a touching exploration of that theme. But fuck this game's ending. Seriously.

6. Yakuza 3

This is... a weird one. I can both see why the fanbase rejected it at the time and why fan appraisal has gotten so much kinder to this game. Like y6 (honestly y6 is really an unofficial remake of this game) it's a game about family. That being said, I rank it lower than 6 because of the relatively lower stakes and weak plot. It takes a long time for the main plot to actually start, and honestly it can take it's dear sweet time. Whenever I was going main story quests all I can think was about how much I'd rather be dinking around doing mundane shit for the kids. But I can't say this game isn't charming as hell. It's really one of the few times you really see Kiryu as just a... guy. Raising his kids, just living his life. For a series all about high octane melodrama, slice of life is a welcome change of pace

7. Judgment

Ooh, HERE'S the controversial take! Yeah, I didn't really care for Judgment. Judgment is the opposite of y3, where instead the main plot is actually very interesting but we spend. So. Much. Time. On. Bullshit. It's not a short game either. I spent so much of this game wondering when we're getting to the goddamn fireworks factory. Putting the pacing problems aside, the characters are fun but apart from Yagami and arguably Sugiura they don't get much in the way of meaningful development (it feels like Higashi's character arc is almost entirely off screen). The "detective" gameplay is meaningless fluff and adds nothing (note to game developers: tailing missions always suck. They sucked in Assassin's Creed and they suck here) and the attempt to bring back style changing is half-baked. I didn't hate my time with this game, but it left me underwhelmed

8. Yakuza Kiwami

This was actually my first yakuza game. And thank goodness Kiryu is hot because this game is... rough. First off, the story is just not very good. It spends a lot of time with tedious red herrings and extraneous shit with characters we don't care about. I honest to God had a hard time following the plot on my first playthrough because the cast is like 90% unmemorable middle aged Japanese men that show up like once in the first hour and then once in the last (but you're expected to remember them). It doesn't fare any better gameplay wise. It does make one good decision, bringing back style changing, but then for some reason they decided to make every boss fight an awful chore by having them regenerate their hp several times a fight (unless you happen to have the heat to do a heat action, and even then they regen hp so fast it may not help that much). What. The fuck. This snowballs into the Majima Everywhere which... look. I know. Goromi. But this system is still one where you have to fight a boss over and over and over again (in a game where fighting bosses is a chore). I've seen people slide off the series after going from 0 to kiwami, and that sucks. Maybe it was best i started here; if I liked this game, I'll probably like the rest

But there's one game I'd say that'd worse

9. Yakuza 4

When I played Yakuza 4 the first time, it was the ps3 version and I hadn't played 3 yet (it was more expensive.) So when I replayed 4 it was after playing 3, and honestly I was appreciating the game a lot more. After the slog of 3 it was nice to have a game with a snappier pace. And Akiyama was a fun change of pace. Him and Hana have a fun dynamic. I remembered not liking this game; was I too harsh? Could I have appreciated 4 more if I could see the improvements from 3? Then I got to Saejima's section then I remembered why I don't like this game. Honestly, I could go ON about how much Saejima's part sucks, it is easily the worst time I've had playing a yakuza game. I'll spare you that novel for now tho. And from here, the game never really recovers. We move on to Tanimura, the worst yakuza protagonist by the sheer virtue of how boring he is. By the time Kiryu shows up again I was so damned thrilled to see him. But he doesn't really save this game. Yakuza plots are usually convoluted and sometimes hard to follow, but 4's just gets exhausting to keep up with. By the time you get to your 28th betrayal you just can't care anymore. And it all caps off with a lazy fucking ending and the absolute worst final boss fight in the series. Oh Curryman. You deserve a better game.