#i guess what i'm trying to say is.... this doesn't feel rewarding

[love-byers]

the van scene is going to pay off. THE VAN SCENE IS GOING TO PAY OFF. the VAN SCENE. (where will basically stabs himself in the heart and accepts that he's going to be desperately and unrequitedly in love with mike for the rest of his life) is going to PAY OFF.

DO YOU GUYS REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?? ROMANTIC TROPES LIKE THIS CAN ONLY GO ONE WAY

okay okay for example, in young royals (spoilers ahead) season 1 ends with simon and wilhelm at odds because wilhelm denied their relationship to the public despite telling simon he would tell the truth. simon decides he can't be wilhelm's secret and basically breaks up with him.

then, in s2, wilhelm is constantly trying to weasel his way back into being with simon because he desperately misses him, but simon sticks to his word and doesn't cave in. simon gets a new boyfriend and wilhelm fucking SPIRALS and briefly becomes borderline psychotic, but then one night at a dance/party/ball where he properly meets simon's boyfriend, he gives up and accepts that simon is moving on, like simon has been asking him to do all season. he tells simon that he's sorry for bothering him and that he'll leave him alone from now on and his boyfriend seems nice. he does the thing that deeply hurts himself, but he believes will make simon happy. he chooses simon's happiness over his own. he does the right thing. he does the selfless thing.

and guess what happens next? simon follows wilhelm outside and kisses him and they make out in a garden. wilhelm got what he wanted, but only after putting simon's happiness before his own.

and this same thing happens at the end of the season. in s2 simon goes on a journey of learning to understand why wilhelm wants their relationship to be a secret, because at first in s1 he doesn't at all and it makes him very angry. but by the end of s2 he finally understands. he tells wilhelm that he wants to be with him and if that means they have to be a secret, then so be it. simon makes a sacrifice. he lets go of his integrity towards himself and decides to be wilhelm's secret, even though that's not the ideal scenario. he knows it's what wilhelm wants, and if that's the only way it'll work, then so be it.

and guess what happens next? wilhelm goes up in front of the whole country and admits that he is in a relationship with simon and that he won't be hiding any longer. simon got what he wanted all along, but only after putting their love before his own self-integrity.

are you getting what i'm saying?

in writing, sacrifice and making the difficult decision rewards characters with getting what they want. that's what makes it so satisfying, that's what makes it PAY OFF. that's what "pay off" means. hard work pays off. hard, uncomfortable, painful, sorrowful work pays off because something good comes from it. something so good that it makes all the pain worth it, because the pain is what directly lead to it. simon and wilhelm didn't get the happiness they wanted until they sacrificed something they wanted for the overall good or the good of someone else. they didn't get what they wanted until they were selfless.

literally the only way a scene like the van scene can pay off is with will getting what he wanted all along. there is literally no other way i can see this going. it's just unheard of for a plot point like this to end in any other way than in will's favor. will giving the painting to mike is symbolic of him letting go and accepting that he will always love mike and will never be loved back. the painting itself is symbolic of will's feelings. it's wills feelings in a physical form, because after the van scene will does not plan on ever bringing it up again. that's why the painting has to exist, so that will's feelings can come to light in s5, because will is not gonna be the one to bring it up. he thinks it's game over. mike gently confirming to will that it is indeed game over but being an ally to him is not a reward, that's the bare minimum. like i can't stress to you enough how an arc conclusion like that is the exact thing writers are taught not to do, the exact thing we are warned against in school. the exact thing that gets a bad response in a workshop. you just don't do it you don't, especially not with a character as tortured and marginalized as will byers

anyways my point is, the thing will used to accept that mike will never love him and push mike and el together (the painting) is going to be the very thing that pulls mike right back in. this painful and selfless thing that will did is actually going to bring him the biggest reward, the thing he's always wanted. that's just how writing works bro

edit: and i wanted to add one more in here real quick bc ive seen people say "oh so only happy endings make sense??" when bylers say will deserves a happy ending

no, that's not the case at all. "pay off" does not equate to "happy ending" payoff can mean all kinds of things. if a character repeatedly makes bad decisions and it lands them in the shitter, that's pay off. that's good writing. unless you're writing a story just created to make people sad and leave people unsatisfied as some sort of statement, there is absolutely no reason for that.

and another good example of pay off that isn't necessarily happy: the hunger games (spoilers ahead). the hunger games is a story about oppression and corruption and abusive government. it's a commentary on control and abuse of power and how it hurts people. the whole thing is kick started by katniss volunteering for the games in place of her sister, it's kick started by katniss trying to keep her sister alive. so prim (her sister) ultimately dying in the last book can be considered payoff. and though this isn't happy, it works because of the overall theme of the books. it's about abuse, tragedy, trauma, etc etc. and it goes even deeper when you consider the fact that prim was killed by a bomb made by "the good side", because mockingjay (the last book) delved into showing the beginnings of yet another abusive controlling government and how more war and killing only leads to more suffering for EVERYONE. prim dying is UNFAIR. and that's the point. that's why the whole thing, ALL the corruption, even on the "good side" must come down because it only leads to tragedy and unfairness. though this is quite depressing, it is "pay off". it's good writing

okay hunger games ted talk over

[schnaf]

23 days until gaon's 23nd birthday

day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - gaon's past birthday brrrr ppoppos

[muirmarie]

mccoy and spock get together towards the end of the five year mission, and spock is very, "obviously the doctor is aware that vulcans do not have casual relationships and almost always mate for life" and mccoy is, of course, "getting that damn vulcan to open up is like pulling teeth, how am i supposed to know how he feels about me" and this causes new and exciting problems when they're trying to sort out what they're DOING after the end of the five year mission

and mccoy is trying to subtly figure out if spock has any interest in being stationed together, and spock is, of course, the doctor is my mate, of course we will stay together, and mccoy gets offered this really exciting opportunity at a cutting edge research station that's still hands on enough with patients that it's perfect for him, and he kind of tosses it out there one evening to spock, hoping to get something from the bastard, and instead spock just skims through and stone face is like "in my opinion you should accept, it is precisely the opportunity you've been looking for" and mccoy sits there after spock leaves, like okay!!! i guess we're breaking up?? is this not even enough of a relationship for him to consider it a break up??? i may have to kill him. no jury would convict me. what! is! he! thinking!, and spock goes back to his quarters and immediately sends them a message like "i would like to apply for a position as well :)"

and mccoy still won't fucjing SAY what he MEANS because he doesn't want to be left vulnerable now that he's convinced himself that spock simply Doesn't Care Enough, and every time he at least tries to get like, some meaningful goodbye moments???? spock keeps blowing him off??? meanwhile spock is like "it is rewarding to know that the doctor wants to spend time with me, but i know he will miss our friends, and as his mate it is important for me to make sure he spends enough time with his friends before we all leave the ship", and then when mccoy says he's going to go visit joanna before he starts his new assignment, spock's like =/ wish he invited me along but I will respect his wishes and says he's going to go to vulcan between assignments, and then it's over! they're saying goodbye! and spock! just! leaves! and mccoy is just. absolutely furious and trying So Hard to Not Care but also!!! so!!!! furious!!!!

so anyway imagine his surprise when he arrives at the research facility for his new assignment three weeks later, and they're like "doctor mccoy!! so nice to meet you! your husband arrived two days ago, and he took it upon himself to set up your shared quarters and your office to your liking, but let us know if you need anything else, we're so thrilled to have you on board!"

and mccoy is just.

"i'm sorry. what did you just say?"

and spock comes walking out like everything is normal, and gives him the little vulcan finger kiss, and turns to the welcome party and says, "husband is a simplification of a vulcan term - we have not performed the human marriage rites, but he is my mate"

anyway yeah mccoy probably tries to strangle him.

they make a great first impression.

[l0vem41l]

"i've always wanted something simple..."

「 tws + notes: no tws, potentially ooc, unedited as BAWLS, what do you mean it's been a while since i've last written, domestic (kinda), lowkey heavily implied romance,,,, blame the spirit of valentine's day (。﹏。) 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic relationship <3 」

↳ ft. bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, and tim drake

author's note: yeah so... i'm still dc rotted. here are little things that i just find cute つ﹏⊂ <33 gonna keep it 120% w/ u, life is BUSY!!!! but we ball regardless :D you know im gonna find time to write my superhero fanfics anyways >:3

▸ BRUCE loves when you wear his clothes. simple but recognizable, his clothes become a silent way of saying "they're with me." and considering that most of the pieces in his wardrobe that are downright iconic, almost all of gotham knows who's jacket you're wearing when you step out in it.

he's not insecure by any means, and it isn't quite a display of possessiveness— but rather, affection and devotion. you're special to bruce, and even if it's through subtle means, he's more than happy to show it.

▸ DICK likes to have you within reach. no reason in particular, he says, but you know that's not quite true. maybe he's secretly a little ashamed of being so clingy. either way, he wants (or needs) you to be close to him.

it doesn't really matter to him how he achieves this either. whether it's his hand in yours, his arm around your shoulders, his hand resting on the small of your back, or his arm linked with yours— he's happy as ever. if you're a fast walker and by some miracle, you weren't already holding hands, dick's not beyond tugging your shirt from behind to reel you back in.

"are you trying to escape me? i'm wounded." dramatic.

▸ JASON loves helping you run errands. to be completely honest, he would be content doing just about anything as long as you're around, but there's something special about being the one that you drag around for mundane things like buying groceries or getting gas.

he also loves to be helpful to you. always offering to get the things off higher shelves that you just can't reach, always getting out the car first to pump your gas— there's just something about that shy but pleased smile of yours that makes doing little things for you so much more rewarding. and, yeah, it's silly but jason's heart practically leaps out his chest when you thank him by planting a little kiss on his cheek.

▸ TIM loves to take naps with you. he values the time that he has with you, and of course, would much rather spend it conscious— but there's something particularly special about being able to rest at your side. it's a declaration of trust from him— and there's an undeniable tenderness he feels when he realizes that he's able to let his guard down for once.

except... tim doesn't notice how frequent this habit has become. he's gotten so used to napping with you, that if he's feeling like he's been awake for too long, he'll hunt you down just to get some rest. your plans of reading peacefully on the couch are thwarted— prepare for him to wrap his arms around you while he shifts to lay his head on your chest. no words, no questions— guess you'll have to set aside whatever you're doing now.

— reblogs always appreciated!

[olderthannetfic]

Hi OTNF and everyone,

I am finding that it's harder and harder and harder to get into anything - book, show, movie... most things seem, you know, to just not be doing it for me, be it fanfic or original stuff.

In part, I think, it's a general restlessness and that it's become harder to give anything enough time to get into the stories, the characters, the settings, the narrative voices... I guess you can call it attention deficit on my part, just a need for stories to deliver those sweet, sweet hits quickly, but they're not.

I'm not currently ficcing but I did for years (might again in the future, who knows), and it's made reading, specifically, harder. It's like I've become more aware of what goes on behind the scene, I guess? I feel like I can see the writer giving up on a sentence, skipping a scene because fuck this, trying hard to not repeat a word although it's the only one that fits, etc.

Or maybe it's just the *everything* around us in the world that is weighing on me too much? I could say it's adult life, but then again I have more free time than most (and boy do I need hours of doing nothing to survive the other hours), and no family/partner (all that would put even more pressure on me): what is wrong, to make everything so UGHHH?

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with a brain moaning feed me, feeeed me, and whatever I try to give it, it spits everything out. (Yes, I've tried hobbies, and nothing sticks there either. I've never really found rewards or satisfaction there, so...)

Decades ago as a kid, I was a voracious reader, although studying literature took the pleasure of it away from me. It took time and discovering fanfic that brought me back to reading, but at the time the internet was starting to be a thing, too, and it can't have helped the attention thing. AFAIK I'm not ADHD but then again, I couldn't get a proper diagnosis (the therapists I saw were either dismissive or just about The Talking, which was pointless for me).

I just wonder how it all disappeared, you know? Sometimes I find something that catches my attention for a while - a book (but I read quite quickly when motivated), a fandom... but it's been a while now, and it's just so frustrating! When is it going to come back? Will it ever? *gulp*

I know that books were escapism when I was a child, and then fandom was escapism, but at the moment I find myself grabbing at air and my empty hands are mocking me. Give me my escapism baaaaack!

So, uh. Anyone here with me?

--

Yes.

I felt like that during part of lockdown. Anhedonia is common in those kinds of circumstances.

Getting your mojo back is certainly possible, but you may need to go see a professional about depression and have some chemical assistance (yes, even if you don't feel sad per se), or you may need to change your lifestyle to one that doesn't have the thing causing you to need eleventy billion hours of downtime.

Aside from serious interventions like that, you can consider a social media detox. Remove every source of doomscrolling and time wasting of that type. When the attention span is zero and nothing brings joy, the tiny and useless hits from finishing a game of solitaire or seeing one more instagram post become very attractive. This is a trap. It will suck what little energy and joy you have and make your muscles flabby for the work of getting into an in-depth book/hobby/experience.

I know the feeling of being able to see how the sausage is made, but... well... first, being in a better mental state will make that matter less, and second, reading prose that is more competent will make that less of an issue. A lot of mainstream tradpub genre fiction is not, in my opinion, very well written these days. Obviously, people are still enjoying it, and that's fine, but if you're noticing writers fumbling around, it might be time to check out some literary fiction or some other category known more for prose quality than anything else.

It's also important to have some structure and some things to look forward to. Even if you feel tired, overwhelmed, and busy, sometimes, the answer is to do more... But it must be things that are distinct and significant and that get you off of the couch, like going to one museum every weekend.

I saw some advice once about this kind of thing that phrased it as "One big adventure; one small adventure."

Every week, you should have those two things to look forward to that matter. Check out a new coffee shop. That could be the small one. Go to an event: a gallery opening, a concert, whatever.

Physical exercise and doing some things that aren't as verbal and conscious thought-involving is important too. Painting is a better hobby for zoning out than writing is. Taking long walks in nature is good for most people.

--

The kind of intense, obsessive love I had for reading as a child and that I sometimes have for fandom requires a lot of attention and some time. It's escapist, but that masks how much work it actually was. It didn't feel like work only because we were in training.

If you've filled your brain and your day up with a thousand petty annoyances or minor and useless attempts to feel something, you won't have the capacity for those deeper things.

Because you are already at a point that's equivalent to a bad sprained ankle, trying to get back to running right now won't work. You have to stay off of the ankle for a bit, then build your strength and stamina back up.

[majinbangus]

"Sunshine, where you goin'?"

You're three steps out of the bar when you hear him calling over the light pitter patter of the rain. You turn around to see him standing in the threshold, keeping the door open with the low light of the bar streaming out behind him. He looks ethereal. Like some type of incorporeal vision as the background chatter of the bar leaks out, creating an asmr-esque buzz.

You're unworthy to be in his presence. Wet and cold. Miserable and pitiful. A background character no one ever pays attention to. Yet he's here talking to you.

"I'm going back to the barracks." You shift uncomfortably between your feet. "I'm tired."

Maybe it's the way the shadows play across his face, but he looks disappointed for a split second.

"Oh, but you just got here? I wanted to..." He trails off, frowning and clenching his fists for a moment before letting the tension drop with a sigh, "Never mind. Lemme walk you back."

"You don't have to do that-"

"No, but I want to."

He's already stepping your way, leaving little room for argument. The bar doors shut, and suddenly, it's just you and him. Still, you try to give him an out.

"But what about that lady you were talking to?"

The one you saw start a conversation with him before you left. The one in the pretty dress. The one who looked like she would be his perfect match.

"Only lady I wanna be talking to is you, Sunshine."

It's a funny joke, so you laugh. "Be serious."

"I am, Sun." He says it like it's true, and because he's got you stunned, he takes the opportunity to grab your hand and place it on his chest, holding you there.

He's warm. A stark contrast to the coldness that runs through your body. And despite the layers of clothing, you can feel the faint beating of his heart under your palm. Strong. Steady. Alive.

Your fingers twitch, curling into his chest. There's something calming about feeling that heavy beat against your palm.

"I was gonna tell you this inside where it's warm and dry, but I guess now's a good a time as any."

You look up from where you were watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest. "What?"

"I wanted to tell you how I feel, Sun. Ask you out proper and take you out on a date," He confesses, hand pressing against yours a tad tighter, heart beating just a little harder. "If you'd let me."

It somehow doesn't feel real. Like you're having an out of body experience or dreaming something impossible. And yet... And yet, the way his heart beats so clearly tells you everything you need to know. Everything you ever hoped for. You would be a fool to reject him, even if this all turns out to be some cruel hallucination.

"I'd really like that."

The grin he rewards you with is heavenly.

"Yeah?" He steps a little closer, his musk filling the air you breathe, amplified by the misty rainstorm. You're surrounded by him. Encapsulated in his presence. It'd be a crime if you stepped away now. "You mean that?"

"Yeah, so... Guess there's nothing left to do but kiss in the rain, huh?" You shoot him a tentative smile, hand trembling nervously against his chest. "Take advantage of the crappy weather and all."

The amused huff he exhales lets you know you said the right thing, and the bashfulness you feel is replaced with anticipated glee at the sight of his lips slashing into a smirk. He uses his other hand to wrap around your waist and pull you flush against him. You lick your lips when his eyes dart down to study them, breath stuttering as he leans in, murmuring in that low, resonating timbre you love so much, "Guess so."

And then he presses his lips against yours with the beat of his heart thundering wildly under your palm.

-

Inspired by this:

Bruno Mars, Anderson .Paak, Silk Sonic- Leave The Door Open (Live from the iHeartRadio Music Awards) @ 2:35

[mingtinys]

" i would do anything for you "

pairing : lee chan x gn!reader

"13 ways to say "i love you" with seventeen"

warnings : traffic violations ( for a good cause ! )

word count : 0.6 k

a/n : it's bittersweet posting this last part of the series :( i'm so sad for it to end cause i've had so much fun , but i couldn't be happier with how it turned out ! thank you to everyone that showed this series so much love and support <3 next up .... an nct series !!

Maybe you're just being paranoid. Perhaps the scratching at your back door wasn't some crazed killer messing with you before the inevitable. In fact, it's extremely likely you've simply stayed up too late and now your brain is playing tricks. But are you willing to take that chance? Absolutely not.

The fifth scratch comes and you're picking up the phone to dial the first person you can think of.

Chan reaches your home at a speed only possible by violating a few traffic laws. Armed with nothing but a broken broomstick and his dinosaur bedroom slippers. You're not even sure he's entirely awake. But he marches his way through your home and straight to the back door with conviction, advising you to stay back while he handles it.

He lowers his voice a few octaves as he speaks. "Whoever is out there, you better knock it off!" The scratching noise picks up. "I'll come out there!" Chan warns, though sounding a little unsure. Yet the scratching never ceases.

At this point, the genius thought to call the police finally enters your panicked brain. Something that probably should have been your first instinct. But it's too late, you can hear Chan thrusting the door open. "Alright, you asked for it– oh..."

When your savior returns, a fluffy orange creature in hand, you feel your face drain of all color. Your friend's cat. The one you were supposed to be sitting while they were away on a business trip. You'd forgotten you'd even let him outside to explore hours ago.

Chan points to the cat with a mock-serious look, "Is this guy bothering you, babe?"

Though severely embarrassed, you let out a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry, Peanut," you coo at the cat, carefully taking him from your boyfriend's arms and carrying him over to his food, which you're certain is what he was scratching to get in for.

When you spin back around, Chan's arms are crossed over his chest, an expectant look on his face. "You know, usually the knight in shining armor gets a kiss for his bravery."

The playful tone in his voice alleviates some of the guilt you feel for calling him over at two a.m. to defend you from a killer cat. A gesture for which you're more than happy to reward with a kiss or two. And once he's claimed his prize, Chan happily gathers you in his arms. He rubs circles into your back, soothing any remaining anxiety in your muscles.

"I'm sorry you came all the way here for nothing," you mumble into his shoulder. "I guess I watched one too many crime shows and sort of panicked."

"You don't need to apologize. It's my job to be here whenever you need me." He pulls back and takes your face in his hands, holding your gaze with genuine eyes. "I would do anything for you."

That confession earns him a second kiss, causing him to break out in a dopey grin. "My hero," you tease, although he looks rather proud of himself for it.

"One question though?"

"What's that?"

"If you thought someone was trying to break in, why didn't you just call the police?"

Trust, Chan is over the moon to be the person you call in a time of need. But realistically, what was he supposed to do? Fight to the death with his bare hands and a broomstick to save you? He absolutely would... doesn't mean he'd win.

You pause. "I don't know, I guess I just panicked and thought of you first."

Chan is probably going to be riding that ego boost for the rest of his life.

taglist: @matchahyuck @dontwannaexsist @minnieminshi @myfavoritedelusion @armycarat2612

[ultimate-shipper-blog]

Together or Separate

Eddie is pissed.

He knew the risks, he did, he didn't care. The rewards were worth it.

Getting to hold Steve's hand, getting to love him. Who cares if his boyfriend gets flirted with from time to time and he can't do anything to stop it...no biggie...right?

Who cares if their waitress is laughing a little too loudly at a joke that certainly was not a joke. Who returned with their drinks with a button undone on her uniform. Who hasn't given Eddie the time of day and keeps leaning a little too closely to Steve...on their anniversary.

Steve slams on his foot the minute she turns back again.

"Bitch!" Eddie yelps.

"Sorry! What's going on with you? I've been calling your name and trying to get your attention-"

"At least somebody wants my attention."

"Oh is that what this is about? The waitress?" Steve rolls his eyes.

Eddie doesn't dignify that with a response. He huffs and digs a little more into his seat.

"Eds you know we can't do anything in public...you don't think I don't want to hold your hand across the table? To sit in a booth so I can wrap my arm around you?"

Eddie sits up a little more, "Steve I-"

"Alright gentleman!" The waitress interrupts. "Here's the check for the meal." She slides it closer to Steve, her phone number very obviously printed on it.

"You know, I forgot to ask, together or separate?" She flashes Eddie a forced smile.

A dark shadow passes across Eddie's face. They always have to pay separately. Stupid small town. Stupid Reagan. He was going to take advantage of this opportunity though.

"I guess we can pay together since the check is already here." Eddie reaches a hand into his pocket to search for his wallet. He's about to put the bills together when Steve let's out a girlish giggle.

Both Eddie and the waitress are staring at him in shock. Eddie's never heard that noise from him before.

"Steve? Are you-"

"Oh! Isn't he just dreamy?" Steve flutters his lashes at the waitress.

"...him?"

Eddie tries not to take offense to that.

"Steve, what are you doing?"

Steve's smile is evil. His eyes have a terrible sparkle to them. "Taking care of things dear."

The waitress jumps back in shock.

"We never get to go out anymore, he's so busy providing for me. It's so nice of him to pay for dinner isn't it?" Steve blows a kiss at Eddie and the waitress has gone pale.

"It's our anniversary you know? We can't normally advertise our relationship you know? Some people are awfully rude to us. You've been so sweet to us Sharon."

Oh so that's her name.

Eddie couldn't care less.

Steve turns his megawatt smile to him now. Not even giving Sharon another minute of his time.

"Of-of course. People can be so rude to such a lovely...couple. I'll be right back with your change."

"Keep it." Eddie says, standing from the table and walking over to Steve. "Ready to go sweetheart?" He holds out his elbow.

Steve grabs it and giggles as they leave.

"That was some risky move Stevie."

"I don't actually give a fuck." He leans his head on Eddie's shoulder as they walk home. He can feel Steve's smile pressed into his shirt. He finds he can't keep his own smile off his face.

"Happy anniversary."

----

I'm back bitches!

I wrote this on my lunch break:P

Kind of inspired by the date I went on where we paid separately and it ended on a nice note of friendship

[dipperscavern]

Hi I genuinely love your work can you pls so some drabbles about Robb and a reader who's super touch averse in public but very cuddly in public

I love u pls don't die

-🥻

i live to serve!! thank you very much for the ask (i love u more) (was gonna die but i guess i wont just for u.....)

robb stark x fem!reader

theon’s voice rings through the hall, hands on his hips as he watches the chandelier be lowered. "Careful, Jon…. careful."

jon, lowering it, finds his ‘direction’ anything but helpful. "I'm bein' careful."

the chandeliers candles have been burnt down almost completely, and you had been assigned to the task of replacing them. you had only sought out jon to help lower it, but boredom is a contagious disease, making theon and robb jump at the opportunity to pass the time.

“You’re lowering it too fast.”

jon is patient, but theon is regal in his talent to annoy anybody, and peace is best found when his mouth is closed. you’re about to tell him so when robb beats you to it. “Shut up, Theon.”

he turns to robb, but a sharp noise cuts him off before he can retort. he jolts, and you stifle a laugh at his jumpiness.

he turns, finding the source to be the chandelier hitting the limit on its ability to be lowered. the glares he shoots at jon - whom is tying the chains into place - are not enough to wipe the smirk from his face while he does so.

jon abandons your construction crew at the first available opportunity - a wise choice. even while on a ladder replacing candles, you can't escape theon's nagging he likes to call "supervision".

"The shortest ones should be in the center. "

"Have you done this before?"

"That's not where it goes."

"I'll show you where it goes, Greyjoy." you call down, losing your sanity after a meager five minutes. theon raises his hands in surrender, looking to robb for support, but is only met with a shake of his head. “Fine then, do it wrong.” he mutters under his breath. “No skin off my back.”

minutes of sweet, sweet silence pass, and eventually, you sigh much louder than intended. it betrays your frustrations.

you start to move down the ladder, and robb calls from below. "What is it?"

"Ran out of candles. I think we-" the ladders instability is proven when you're about to touch the ground, and it moves under your weight. you would've fallen, if not for robb's reflexes. his grip is bruising, but welcomed in face of the alternative of hitting the floor.

"You alright?" he aks. you nod. "Thanks, Robb."

you're quick to slip out of his hold, feeling white hot embarrassment crawl up your spine. its only theon, you tell yourself. somehow, it doesn't help. robb doesn't hold it against you, letting you go without protest. he's nothing if not understanding.

theon notices, brows furrowing as you retreat to resupply in candles. once you turn the corner, he pipes up. "What's all that?"

robb fights with the ladder, trying to bring some stability to it. "All what?"

"You know what. She's your lady and you can't touch her?"

robb turns slightly as he glances at theon. luckily for him, you're not around, meaning he doesn't have to keep his language proper.

"Just because the whores you accompany like to be groped in public," he says. "doesn't mean my lady feels the same."

the greyjoy is apt at recognizing defeat. "Fair enough."

eventually, the ladder starts behaving, not nearly as shaky as it was minutes ago. robb sends a quick thanks to the gods, and when he turns back around, your pretty face pops around the corner. you wave him over, and he shoos theon off before making his way over to you. 

“Get lost on the way?” he says, approaching. “Big castle, s’ alright.” your eye roll in response is nothing short of the greatest reward. you turn and start walking; he follows with a lovesick smile on his face.

“I’m in need of a tall person, as someone... quite intelligent has decided to place candles on the very top shelf.” 

robbs glad he's walking behind you, so not to give away how he fights a massive grin. someone intelligent must have done that, of course. “Tall,” he repeats. “Yes,” you confirm. 

“And handsome, surely,” he adds. “They’ll hide if you aren't. Theon can never find them.”  

he catches a glimpse of your smile as you open the door to one of winterfells (many) storage rooms. not huge areas, but comfortable enough for their intended purpose. you weren’t lying – they really are high up. he forgets to pretend to not know where they were moved.  

if you notice, you don't bring attention to it, only moving to stand on a small stool next to the space robb fills while reaching for what you need. these specific kinds of candles are tricky, stood on a tray & quite easy to knock over. he hands you the tray in front, reaching to get the one farther back.  

“Robb?” he hums, holding a tray of his own. “Thanks for catching me. Really.” he murmurs something in agreeance, brows lightly furrowed - you already thanked him minutes ago. not that he’s complaining, of course.

still on your stool, it makes it easier for you to reach out, caressing his curls. “I don’t mean to be difficult, I just get...” your hand drops as your sentence trails off - he wishes it wouldn’t. “You make me nervous.” you manage, stepping off your stool. 

“Hey,” he temporarily blocks the door. your eyes meet his. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

you shrug like you don’t believe him. he scoffs. “I should lock you in here... talking to yourself like that.” he opens the door for you with a shake of his head, catching another lucky glimpse of the smile you try and fight off. he allows himself a final mutter of, “Blasphemous, really,” 

[judelvr]

Doesn't he?

carlos won another final so he deserves a reward.... right?

warnings: smut

tag: @yungbludz

another final, another victory. it had been a long and complicated game, but the effort had paid off and carlos was now sitting on the bench in his locker room, trying to recover from the adrenaline rush

you're his biggest supporter at all times and you never fail to show how proud you are after every game, regardless of the result so it was no surprise to him when he saw you walk in

"you did so good out there today" you say as you walk into his dressing room

carlos was sitting on the bench, legs spread, trying to catch his breath from the long final that had just finished and from the adrenaline of a win, another one

"yeah i guess we can say that"

"i think you deserve a reward don't you think so?" you state as you sit on his lap, circling your arms around his broad shoulders.

"hm what do you have in mind" he says and kisses his way down your jaw, to your neck, to your shoulder blade.....

"let me show you"

you got up from his lap and got on your knees in front of him

"you know this kit makes you look incredibly hot" you kiss his thighs, closer and closer to where he needed you most

"amor don't tease porfa"

"shhhh let take care of you baby"

you hook your fingers into the waistband of his trousers and boxers and pull them down slightly, more than enough for his cock to spring free

and immediately wrap your hand around it while you sweep your tongue ever so slightly over his tip, tasting the pre cum that was already forming

"bebe i-mhhh mierda"

carlos lets out a moan as you take him all into your mouth, "puta madre..oh..you're killing me" he manages to say between pants when you lick him from the base to his tip circling it slowly with your tongue and at the same time you jerk him off

until you stop all of your movements

"no no why did you st-"

"carlos i want you to fuck my mouth and use me to get yourself off"

he lets out a shaky breath but nods and holds your hair back in a messy ponytail and starts thrusting into your mouth slowly at first not wanting to hurt you

you look up at him through your lashes with pleading eyes and nod slightly encouraging him to go faster and harder and he obeys increasing the speed of the thrusts

"joder amor your mouth feels so good"

you can tell how close he is by the way he is panting and his thrusts become sloppier so you slide your hands up his abs and he lets out a moan, "i'm so close baby so close"

you take him out of your mouth and start jerking him off again, "cmon carlitos cum for me baby you are doing so good"

the praise was more than enough to push him over the edge, "mierda..mmmhhh..i'm gonna cum"

he couldn't hold back anymore once you put his tip back into your mouth harshly sucking so he finally cums in your mouth

carlos stands there trying to catch his breath completely obsessed with the sight of you on your knees for him trying to swallow all of his cum and licking your lips

you stand back on your feet again and give him a little kiss on the lips"i meant what i said earlier i am so proud of you carlitos"

he slides his arms around your waist humming in appreciation,

"te quiero muchissimo amor gracias por todo tu apoyo"

[wileys-russo]

Leah or Alessia, “come dance with me?”, kitchen of their new home

beautiful crazy II a.russo

"no love the kitchen boxes go over there!" you pointed behind alessia who nodded, withholding a grunt as she waddled over and dumped them onto the counter.

"babe...this is bathroom stuff." alessia pulled the flaps of the box open and sighed as you gave her a guilty smile. "i was really tired when i was up labeling things?" you excused yourself as the blonde nodded and taped the box back up.

"i love you." you smiled, stopping her to place a gentle and apologetic kiss to her lips. "love you too." your girlfriend made her way past you and toward the bathroom.

"i'll cook dinner!" "you already promised me that this morning! so far you're cooking dinner, doing the dishes, making the bed and unpacking all the kitchen and bathroom boxes."

"damn." you whispered to yourself with a frown, having admittedly made the poor blonde do the majority of the heavy lifting today, and it hadn't been without its struggles.

"is that everything baby?" alessia called out from the bedroom which you confirmed, only a few more little things to move tomorrow before you handed back the keys to your old place.

"i'm gonna shower! i feel so gross." your girlfriend groaned, door clicking shut as you decided to get a start on dinner, beginning your hunt for the right kitchen utensils.

"that smells so good." your girlfriend melted into you from behind, kissing your cheek a few times. "so do you." you laughed, bending your head back and tapping your lips as she rolled her eyes but kissed you properly.

"can you chop those for me please gorgeous?" you nodded to the peppers on the counter as alessia pulled away from you, moving to sit at the island bench.

"see i would my love but my hand, its just so sore from...oh what happened again? oh yeah! you dropped a box of your textbooks on it." alessia quipped as your cheeks flushed red and you stopped stirring.

"i said i was sorry, i got a cramp!" you protested with a small huff, having already apologized profusely.

"i know baby, but sorry doesn't unsquash my breakfast where you ran over it this morning, label the boxes properly, not drop your end of the sofa when we're trying to go up stairs and nearly kill me, not forget the keys and make us drive all the way back only for them to be in your other pocket-" your girlfriend started to tick off on her fingers all the struggles in question.

"i'm really really really sorry?" you promised with another guilty smile, pulling the wok off the stove and moving around the counter. hugging her tightly and staring up at her as she rolled her eyes but the corner of her mouth curled up into a smile.

"i guess i should really thank you." alessia sighed once you'd rewarded her with a proper kiss for all her hard work today, most of your belongings now moved in since the movers already most of your big and heavy items yesterday.

"you're welcome." you nodded kissing her cheek and moving back to the stove, alessia sighing dramatically. "you don't even know what i'm thanking you for yet!" she laughed with a shake of her head.

"i know, but you're still welcome." you grinned cheekily. "you're lucky you're cute." your girlfriend rolled her eyes. "but i was going to say i guess i should thank you for taking away my title of the clumsy one in the relationship now." alessia smirked as you flipped her off and turned back to dinner, music filling the kitchen as alessia clicked shuffle on one of her favorite playlists.

"come dance with me." you extended a hand toward her and a soft smile, leaving dinner to simmer for a few more minutes before it would be done. "baby you know i don't-" alessia started to protest as you pulled her off the stool.

"so we paid for all those street dance classes for nothing?" you teased, arms wrapped around her neck as her hands settled on your hips.

"that was a vicious rumor because i misunderstood the game." the striker pouted which you kissed away, swaying the two of you side to side as the song switched. "oh no not this." you groaned as one of alessia's country hits she adored blasted from her phone.

"nope! don't you dare." your girlfriends grip on your hips tightened as you tried to pull away to change it.

"her day starts with a coffee and ends with a wine. takes forever gettin' ready so she's never on time for anything!" alessia sung, still swaying the two of you side to side as you shook your head.

"my own private concert, when do you go on tour?" you teased as she continued to sing, your laughter growing as did her passion and volume.

"beautiful, crazy, she can't help but amaze me the way that she dances, ain't afraid to take chances, and wears her heart on her sleeve. yeah, she's crazy but her crazy's beautiful to me!" alessia practically yelled, throwing her head back and dipping you suddenly.

"less!" you squealed as she slipped, taking the two of you down to the floor. "she's crazy beautiful to me?" your girlfriend blushed bright red, hovering over you with a guilty smile.

"well baby, you can now officially take back your title of the clumsy one in the relationship."

[coolyiooo]

BSD Men Reacting To You saying "I fake my orgasms"

parings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, and Chuuya

❗Warnings❗: begging, edging, praise, degrade, overstimulating, squirting and more

Summary:You two were in a bit of a small, stupid, argument. And for some reason you thought you'd get back at him if you said "I fake my orgasms" to him.

🖤DAZAI🖤

He looked a bit taken back, it was an out of the blue comment. He just stared at you with wide eyes

"So your telling me you were acting like you were dumb on my cock, to the point you couldn't even form sentences, or think about anything else but my name and my cock?"

You gulped a bit "yes"

He kept staring at you, then he smiled with his eyes closed. He looked very innocent looking

"Hm Then I guess I'm going to have to make it up to you for making you unsatisfied"

He then takes you to the bedroom and rails you like there's no tomorrow. Making you cum again and again. Orgasm after orgasm and he still hasn't stopped. The way this man kissed you, praise you, degrade you, moaned your name, and held you always put you over the edge. He put you in a state where all you could do was form small words and moan.

"Heh~ I knew you were lying bella~ your squeezing me so fucking tightly with your pretty little cunt ah~ mmn~ just tell me you were lying and I promise I'll stop~"

"MMMN~! I- I AAH~ w-was! MMPPH~ P-please AGH~! S-spare m-me!"

"Hmm~ I want a better apology bella~"

"SAMU~ y-your mmn-! The only one who's ever m-made me AGH~! Satisfied! MMM~ Please f-forgive me! Mmmn-! I'm sorry~!"

"Good girl~ as my reward mmn~ I'll bury my cum deep inside you ah~! You'll for sure cum again heh~ I'm sure you don't mind~"

💚RANPO💚

He looked at you with a bit of a worried expression.

"Are you trying to hurt my feelings?..because it's working"

When it comes to you, he cant handle any type of degrading, even if he knows it's not true.

"I know your lying but it still doesn't help that you hurt my feelings!" He said with a bit of tears in his eyes.

"I- I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!"

"Then make it up to me!"

"H-huh? Well what can I do to make you forgive me?"

He thought for a second and then spoke "I want to see you dumb on my cock from how many times you'll cum on it" he said with a smile.

Later that night. You were jumping on his cock even after a couple orgasms. You and him were both hugging eachother even with you bouncing on his dick. All both of you could do was moan and whimper. He was also in the same state as you were in but he was just a tab bit more stable.

"Mmmn~! you feeling good on my cock, sugar? Ah~! Your so f-fucking wet mph~! from how much you came on my cock~"

You could only respond in whimpers and moans. "Heh~ I forgive you, sweetie~ mmmn~ now let me give you a little cream filling Mph~! as a token of my gratitude~"

💜FYODOR💜

He chuckled "is that your pathetic attempt of getting back at me? If your going to lie you have to make it believable, my love"

"I-"

He grabbed your chin and looked at you with dark eyes "You'll regret saying such a disgusting lie, my dear. I'll have to show you just how horribly wrong you are"

He drags you into the bedroom and makes love to you roughly. It felt so fucking good but Fyodor kept on edging you. No matter how many times you kept apologizing and begging for a release, he wouldn't grant you your wish.Its pathetic but you were crying at this point. You've never felt so desperate.

"P-please Fedya! MMM~! I want to cum! It hurts! AGH~! I need it~!"

He then pulled his cock outside of your quivering cunt. You whimpered loudly.

"Why should I let you have your release? You've misbehaved, and I have to teach you a lesson to never lie to me"

"I p-promise I'll never lie to you! I swear I've learned my lesson, I'll be better. Please just let me cum. I'm sorry, Fedya!" you said, crying from desperation.

Suddenly he kissed your cheek, that was wet from your tears, and began to ram into you, shaking the whole bed. You began moaning loudly, while gripping onto Fyodor's shoulders.

"Mmn~ Then what are you waiting for, my love? Let it all out~"

You didn't waste a single second and came, probably the best orgasm you ever had. You moaned so loud it was basically just screaming. It was such an amazing release, you squirted all over Fyodor. After you calmed down from your high, your body was basically knocked out. Fyodor then kissed your lips gently.

"Thank you, fedya" you whispered before you fell asleep.

💙ATSUSHI💙

His face turned pale like a ghost "a-are.. are you serious?" You could see a bit of tears in his eyes. How could he not? All he ever wanted to do was satisfy you, but knowing he's been failing, he feels useless

Oh no. What have you done? How could you do this to literally the nicest man on earth?

"I- I'm sorry I couldn't be a better man" he said, looking down, almost like a whimper. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough" You immediately hugged him

"NO! Atsushi I was lying! Your more than enough. Your literally perfect!"

He seemed confused "then why did you say that?"

"I just- wasn't thinking...I really was lying. If I'm being honest your the best man I've ever been with"

He felt relieved but he still felt like you were lying, his insecurities getting the better of him. You could tell he wasnt really believing what you were saying.

"How about... I show you just how much you satisfy me?"

You were soon both in the bed. You were being passionate and gentle, giving him so much praise he almost couldn't handle it. You were wrapped up in each other's arms, kissing every inch of the others body. You were both on your sides while facing each other, One of your legs held by his arm to put around his waist. His head on your shoulder being a whimpering mess.

"Mmn~ F-fuck! you make me feel so amazing, Atsushi~ mmnph~! i-im g-gonna cum again"

"Mmmn~! Me too ah! F-fuck! d-dont stop! Please~ I need to feel you cum on my dick again~ mph~! it feel so good~"

It's safe to say he forgives you and knows how much you love him.

🧡CHUUYA🧡

Our beloved man looks so offended. His eyes look so confused but he also looks a bit worried.

"Your kidding, right?"

"Well, what if I told u I wasn't?"

He looked at you with the same expression, then he started to smile, then began to full on laugh. You were confused.

"why are you laughing?"

"You said a joke so I laughed, dollface" he said with a slight smirk.

"Me and you both know I satisfy you very well. No offense darling, but if I didn't satisfy your needs then why do you always come to me, begging for my cock like a whore for a release?"

Now YOU were a bit offended, but it's because you know he's right."Do I really act like that?" You asked a bit embarrassed

He smirks "Hm? Well why don't I prove it to you, doll? So you can see for yourself"

You soon find yourself in your bed with Chuuya railing you, making the bed shake as if it's going to break any second. You were moaning loudly and so was he. Seeing how his hips moved into your pussy, desperate to reach the deepest parts of you to fill his cum into, was so hot.

"I-im gonna Mmmn~! Cum! "

"Then beg for it like you always do, doll~ Ah~! otherwise I won't allow you to~ Mnn~!"

"Please~ Mmn~ I need you to m-make me cum Mph~! it feels so good~ please don't s-stop! Ah~!" You whimpered, a bit embarrassed

"You always beg so beautifully Mph~! It makes me so fucking hard hah~ Go ahead and cum on my dick, darling"

You came on his dick, squeezing him with your pussy tightly. Your loud moaning was music to Chuuya's ears. The scene was so fucking unbearable for him he also came. You were both now breathing heavily, calming down from your highs. After a couple seconds, Chuuya started to pound you again.

"You didn't think we were actually done did you doll~?"

[eastgaysian]

me: i guess it's just the more i think about it, the humor in/around bg3 starts to feel like larian cares more about pleasing people, even if it breaks immersion or flattens/flanderizes characters, than making a game that's fun and funny because of a consistent internal logic and sense of genre and setting.

the tulpa of tom wambsgans i keep in the attic: people do like funny games.

me: but what does it mean for a game as an interactive medium to be funny? like, people find it funny if a game is broken or janky, but a game can also be funny because the mechanics are working and they're designed in a funny way. like, the disco elysium skills are effectively their own cast of characters as a part of the mechanics, and intentionally made into a huge element of the game's humor. watching harry fumble is a lot funnier when the peanut gallery always has something to say about it. or even, i dunno, the very obsidian bit of dialogue choices going 'yes,' 'no,' '[lie] yes,' '[lie] no.' that's humor that relies on the nature of dialogue trees.

tulpa wambsgans, who i've forced to play disco elysium: right. there's plenty of times when you thought the mechanics of bg3 led to funny situations, though.

me: that's not exactly what i'm trying to get at. or it's not the biggest part of it. like, i feel like i've brought this up one too many times already, but the 'hot githyanki girlfriend' dialogue choice you get when romancing lae'zel - it's 'funny,' right? it's supposed to be funny.

tulpa wambsgans: i mean, it is, funny. isn't it?

me: i mean, not to me. i think it's fucking cringe. but it's like, why is that cringe to me, and not disco elysium's 'i want to have fuck with you?' on the surface, it seems like kind of similar humor, like it's your character saying stupid shit. but in disco elysium, the joke is on you-as-harry, because that became your dialogue option after you failed. and the... i'd argue central conceit of disco elysium, maybe, is that harry as an amnesiac wreck with a bunch of skills talking to him in his head is the only way to in-world make sense of a guy who acts like a video game character. and the joke is that you're a video game character selecting dialogue options, but if you were a real person, like harry's supposed to be, you'd seem like a fucking weirdo, and people in the game treat you like a fucking weirdo.

tulpa wambsgans: so what's the problem with baldur's gate 3?

me: i guess it feels like the joke is on the game for being a game that wants to be taken seriously? on the characters within it, for being characters that can only take the game seriously? i don't know if that makes sense. when you incorporate in memes like the god's favorite princess stuff or whatever it was, that's for the player, like almost as a reward for making that joke about the game outside of the game. but it's also, i mean, it's a huge... oversimplification of everything shadowheart's got going on, right? like, shar is or was explicitly abusing her.

tulpa wambsgans: it's a joke, though.

me: right, but what kind of relationship does that create, between the player and the studio, and the player and the game, if the player is rewarded for these kinds of jokes by having them funneled back into the game as part of its reality? the game of fandom telephone where canon events and characters get simplified and miscommunicated over and over, but this time the studio, the makers of canon, are in on it. i mean, it doesn't need to be about jokes, i think that just bothers me more because people tend to have such a positive reaction to jokes. like, lae'zel's dismiss to camp dialogue being changed as well as minthara's recruitment no longer conflicting with halsin's is i would argue part of the same problem.

tulpa wambsgans: ....does any of this really matter?

me: tulpa tom wambsgans you know i only come up into the attic to talk to you about shit that doesn't matter

[genericpuff]

Hello! I'm someone with autism (and I'm suspecting ADHD too) who's planning multiple projects. Do you have any advice when it comes to overthinking a lot about decisions on a project? Be it the first step, planning, questioning if you're moving too fast, etc?

ouuuu I think the biggest thing I struggle with personally is just like... the overbearing weight of expectation that isn't necessarily even there. Like, expectation to do everything right all the time, to never make mistakes, to never fall through on promises, to never break any 'rules' (real or imaginary) and most of all, for everything I do to matter in some big, recognizable, memorable way - but the steps to that goal aren't defined, I just know what the goal looks like, with no clear path as to how to get there, and so it often results in me aiming at my own "best guess" and then beating myself up for not hitting the target LOL which is completely unfair to myself and my own work!

What I try to regularly remind myself of is that I am one person, who is only capable of what one person should reasonably be able to accomplish on their own, no matter how much my auDHD tries to convince me otherwise that I "should" be able to handle more than what's reasonable. And in that same sense, there isn't any more pressure on me to put out something perfect than there would be on any other person. I am not Atlas carrying the fate of the greatest work known to mankind on my shoulders - I'm a chronically online dweeb making stuff that's interesting to themselves and sharing it in the hopes that even just one other person will like it too. That isn't a diss on myself, that's me embracing what I am so that I can keep doing it better and more confidently each time.

Though I don't know if this exactly applies to you, I'm gonna say it just in case: I know when it comes to balancing multiple projects, it can be hard not to go "oh well I SHOULD be working on xyz!" but at the end of the day, you're not a failure for preferring to work on something else or needing space from projects that used to thrill you and have now become monotonous. In fact, it turns out that's how it is for most neurotypical people too! I know they make a lot of shit look easy, but even they have shit they loathe doing - they just don't have to deal with the unique hurdles of being neurodivergent.

Always remember to set boundaries with yourself and your work. Remember, just because you're really excited to work on something, doesn't mean you have to work on it all the time. I've learned to appreciate those moments when I'm stuck doing my day job and I'm excited to get home and work on my passion project, because it means I can actually look forward to it and it'll feel all the more rewarding when I finally get to do it! Pushing yourself too hard to fulfill that excitement all at once right off the bat often just means you're gonna spend it all way too quick, and that won't feel good because then you'll be left wondering where all the love went.

Set little goals for yourself. Stuff that's manageable and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. I know we tend to dive into thinking huge right off the bat, because that's what's exciting to us, but when it comes time to actually do the work, those smaller goals can keep us moving forward far better than the big, far off, ambiguous goal hiding somewhere off in the horizon. While it's good to plan ahead, not setting smaller milestones for yourself can burn you out faster because it's really hard to work towards an "end goal" that might be too far away for us to even conceptualize. The small goals allow us to reward ourselves along the way, and they do ultimately still build up to the bigger picture in the end, even if it feels like we're "not doing much". It can be anything like "get to this chapter that I can finish in the next few weeks" or "fully write out this scene that's been living in my head rent-free".

As for the overthinking... yeah, I wish I had some magic solution to that, but it's really just about learning what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't, so that you can have confidence in knowing when your creative decisions suit the project you're working on. This is something that gets better with practice and experience, but I feel like it's better tackled by reminding yourself that any project, no matter the outcome of how popular it gets or whether or not it "takes off", is an opportunity to learn and grow. Treat every project as a learning experience and you'll hopefully find the process itself more enjoyable, which will subsequently buff up your confidence. It's all a process of honing in on what works for you, what you excel at, and what you enjoy doing; while learning what doesn't work for you, what you could improve at, and what you don't enjoy doing.

Finding a writing buddy or someone who's willing to read your work and give you feedback is super helpful for this, too, because sometimes it takes another perspective to help us navigate the fog of indecision and find a solution.

And again, remember - you are one person, and you are under no obligation for any of your projects to be some perfect, infallible holy grail. You will write stuff that you will inevitably look back on with disgust and cringe. You will create projects that you will eventually outgrow or move on from. That does not invalidate the time and effort you put into those projects - it's proof of experience and growth. Embrace the growing pains, find peace in the process in whatever way you can.

It's not a question of right or wrong - it's asking yourself what feels true to you and your voice, and finding out along the way.

[letternotekisses]

MORE REAPER AND ASSISTANT PLZ.......OH MY GAH

(18+mdni) warning: i say the word clockwork too many times and also sex happens i guess

It's the small things that show he really cares, no matter how many times he tells you gruffly to shut up.

Gabriel sulks until the early hours of the morning, perched like a carrion bird until the light streams through the room and washes away most of the darkness shrouding him. He can't sleep, restless and agitated, spurred on by the simmering pain of his cells regenerating at a rapid pace that keep him alive and watching the halls like Talon's resident ghoul. He marinates in a thick gloom, festering under a bone-white mask like a children's nightmare.

That is, until you wake up. If he's not already in your room - the defences flimsy to someone like him - waking you up so deliciously by parting your soft, pyjama-less thighs with his clawed gauntlets and stretching your cunt open on his thick cock, then he's waiting routinely for you in the 'staff-room.'

Every single day. Like clockwork, he's there. You always make two cups of steaming coffee, even though he never touches it and it often goes cold, simply staring as the steam rises and dissipates. It's early, all but a select few still asleep, and still a half hour before Akande has you organising documents and booking his meetings, a short period where Reaper has you all to himself.

He doesn't talk because he doesn't need to. You fill the silence with some trivial drabble about a new show you'd seen or some menial gossip you'd heard along the grapevine of Talon's many inconsequential minions. It's normal. Too normal for someone like Gabe, but you help him pretend. You're all too happy to see him, chirping over your coffee like all is right with the shadow beside you. It makes him feel sick, something all too sweet and sappy filling his chest and drowning his lungs, cloying and thick and all too unlike him. But if you pause your chatter under the pretence that he isn't listening, he'll turn towards you with a stare so hard you can feel the burn through his mask until you continue.

You punctuate your idle chatter with small sips from your drink, its your own coffee that you share with him - not the shitty burnt crap that the staff room provides. A small gesture, innocent and sickeningly sweet that makes him want to scoff. But he sneaks a sip when your back is turned, and it's nice, good stuff - expensive stuff. It's a waste on him but yet you do it anyway.

The next day he's there like clockwork, only, there's the brand of coffee you use in place of the usual rubbish. He doesn't meet your gaze, nor does he accept the dopey smile he can see you doing out of the corner of his eye. He is not a kind man, your coffee is just better, so he bought some for himself, that's all. Gabriel definitely doesn't scare off any others apart from you who try to use it, definitely not.

You make him softer, sanding down his rough edges until he's tame and palatable. Until he's traipsing behind you in the halls like a lost dog, waiting at the foot of your bed like a good boy. Sit, speak, heel. Like clockwork.

It's not all bad, though. You let him in at night, a flash of his ghoulish cloak disappearing behind closed doors, welcoming him into your warmth with open arms and sweet whispers. You let him take what he needs from your softness, growling and kissing his teeth against your neck as he ruts into your cunt, leg hooked over his hip as he buries a place for himself inside you.

He leaves bruises and bite marks, danger and destruction left in his wake, yet, you still appear in the staff room every morning on time, chattering away - like clockwork. You tasted danger and let it between your legs, into your bed and between your sheets. You reward him for his softness in the mornings by letting him ravage you at night. And suddenly, everything is a little less bad.

The Reaper is a creature of habit - lead by instinctual need, everything he does, is like clockwork.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch! first of all, just want to say how cool this account is and how useful it's been for me :D as someone both very inexperienced and very autistic, the blunt way you give info is genuinely invaluable!

that being said, though, i have a question that might be slightly outside your usual.

i've recently gotten into my first "serious" relationship, and have found that i am TERRIBLE at asking for what i want. this has always been true (though i'm better lately), but i find it way more frustrating now that it's my girlfriend that i'm struggling to talk to. she doesn't seem to mind, but it can take me up to an hour of actively trying to get the thought out of my mouth (usually with some guessing on her part to fill in the details).

presumably, this will get easier with time. it's a very new relationship, and i went into it having never even kissed someone before.

but, since you talk about this sort of stuff on here a lot and encourage communication, i was wondering if you had any suggestions to make it easier for myself or her?

(even a reassurance that it will get easier would also be appreciated! it's stressing me out quite a lot)

hi anon,

I think you have the right idea with your guess that this is something that will get easier with time. learning new skills takes practice, especially if it's a skill - like communicating your wants and feeling capable of specifically asking for them, in your case - that isn't very developed. give yourself grace while you learn! it's frustrating to realize that the level of skill you desire isn't the same as the level you actually have, but it's can also be incredibly rewarding to watch that skill develop in real time with the help of a partner.

however, while you and your partner are figuring it out it might be helpful to have some loopholes to help ease the process and bypass the hour of decision making struggle that sounds like it could easily get frustrating.

might I recommend developing menus of sorts for such occasions? come up with a list of 5-10 options that you're generally okay with - for instance, if you struggle to figure out what you want to do for dinner, you'd come up with a list of meals you generally like or places you usually enjoy ordering takeout from. then, when you're struggling to make a decision, you might be able to say something like "okay, Option A isn't exactly right, but it sounds closer to the right thing than Option B and C. maybe Option A with some small alterations?" that way you have a starting point to make decisions from instead of having to figure out everything on the spot, and there's less guesswork for your partner.

you can apply that to almost anything - TV shows to watch together, activities to do on the weekend, ways to have sex, etc. lots of fun to compile together, and a useful tool to have in the moment.