#i guess this is as good a day as any to post it

[soeyekonic]

— ✩♬ ₊˚. TE PERDÍ ⭑

daniela avanzini x fem!reader

summary daniela messed up- badly. now, she’s standing in the rain, desperate to fix what she broke. but sometimes, wounds don’t heal, and some love stories don’t get second chances.

disclaimers: angst... because it's fun. cheater daniela (sorry), i used lizeth selene as a face claim, but there is no physical description in the fic, so you can imagine whoever!

01. 25. 25 10:43 pm

"hey, y/n... it's me. again."

"i know you probably won't listen to this, but i just -fuck, i don't know. i don't even know why i keep calling. i just- i can't stop thinking about you."

"i messed up, i know that. but please, just call me back."

01. 27. 25 12:17 am

"saw your post today. you looked good... happy."

"i mean, i guess that's the whole point, right? you're moving on. you're showing me that you don't need me. but-"

" - i need you."

"please, y/n. just let me talk to you."

2:04 am

"you wanna know the worst part?"

"i wake up, every morning, reaching for you. i still sleep on my side of the bed like you're gonna walk in any second and crawl under the covers like you used to... like we didn't fuck everything up."

"like i didn't fuck everything up."

"just tell me how to fix it... please. tell me what to do. say anything. say you hate me... just... don't leave me in silence."

—

you stared at you phone, thumb hovering over the play button on the next voicemail. 4:38 am. you don't press it. you already knew what it would play.

another broken apology. another desperate plea.

you should've blocked her. you should've deleted these messages days ago.

but some part of you -maybe the part that still remembered how daniela used to whisper 'I love you' against you skin- couldn't bring yourself to do it.

not just yet.

a loud knock at the door made you jump, breaking you out of a trance.

you already knew who it was.

you debated ignoring it, letting her stand out there in the rain until she finally got the message. But you knew dani. you knew she wouldn't leave until she had her answer.

exhaling sharply, you opened the door.

and there she was.

daniela avanzini. drenched, from head to toe, rain dripping from her lashes. her hoodie, soaked through

but her eyes- they were what undid you the most.

they weren't cocky, weren't full of the usual cheeriness daniela held.

they were just...pleading.

"y/n..." her voice was hoarse- desperate. "please."

you didn't say anything.

daniela swallowed hard, shifting on her feet. "can i-just five minutes. that's all i'm asking."

you hesitated. but then stepped aside.

daniela entered, dripping water onto the floor, but neither of you seem to care. she was too focused on you- like she was scared you'd disappear if she looked away.

"i fucked up," daniela started, voice raw. "i know that. and i know i don't deserve a second chance, but i need you to hear me."

you crossed her arms. "fine."

daniela let out a shaky breath. "i was an idiot, okay? i thought... i thought i could have it all. you. the group. the late nights. the fans." her voice grew quieter. "the girls."

you clenched your jaw.

daniela noticed and stepped closer, eyes shining. "but it wasn't real. none of it was real, y/n. it was just- just...bullshit. and by the time i realized that, by the time i realized you were the only real thing i had -" she stopped, shaking her head. "it was too late."

you inhaled sharply. "you cheated on me, dani." the words cut through the air like a blade.

daniela flinched. "I know." her voice was barely a whisper. "but i need you to know that it didn't mean anything. that she didn't mean anything."

you scoffed. "and i'm supposed to believe that?"

daniela's face crumpled. "you're supposed to believe that i love you."

you looked away, blinking hard. "you don't do that to someone you love."

daniela exhaled shakily. "i was scared.

you chuckled, head snapped up. "of what?"

daniela ran a hand through her wet curls, frustration flashing across her face. "of getting too close. of needing you more than i should." her voice cracked. "and i did. i needed you. and i fucked it up because i was too stupid to realize that needing you wasn't a weakness-"

all you could do is stare at her.

daniela stepped forward, hesitantly, like she wasn't sure if she was still allowed to.

"i can be better. i want to be better. for you. for us." she swallowed hard. "just give me one more chance."

you let out a bitter laugh. "one more chance?" you shook your head. "do you know how many times i've given you one more chance? how many times i let the late-night texts slide? the flirting? the bullshit excuses?"

daniela's shoulders sank.

"i loved you, daniela" you whispered. "god, i loved you..." your voice wavered. "and all i ever wanted was for you to love me enough to choose me. just me."

daniela's breath hitched.

"but you didn't." you swallowed the lump in your throat. "and i'm not gonna be the girl who keeps waiting for you to figure it out."

daniela took a step forward, eyes shining with something desperate. "but i have figured it out." her voice was breaking now, cracking under the weight of it all. "i choose you, y/n. i choose you right now. please, don't let this be the end."

your eyes burned. you wanted to believe her.

gosh, you wanted to.

But you couldn't.

you had spent too many nights waiting. too many nights wondering if you was enough.

and you refuse to do it again.

you exhaled softly. "i can't daniela."

daniela sucked in a sharp breath, blinking rapidly. "y/n-"

"i can't," you repeated, firmer this time. "i won't."

daniela's face crumpled. for a second, she looked like she might argue again, like she might drop to her knees if it meant you would take her back.

but she didn't.

instead, she let out a slow, shuddering breath and nodded.

daniela glanced at the door, then back at you, memorizing you like it was the last time she'd ever see you.

because it was.

and when she finally turned and walked out, you didn't stop her.

you let the door close.

and outside, the rain kept falling.

and somewhere on your phone, another voicemail went unheard.

"i know i couldn't give you what you gave me”

“and even though i'm dying to have you here, i know i lost you... te perdí"

a/n: te perdí was literally the best song from rebelde. netflix was messy for not putting it on spotify. also this is my first time writing a fic so please lmk how it was 😭🙏

[kanmom51]

JM and JK shower together

FACT!!

Be honest now. We thought it, we assumed it, and now we are getting confirmation.

And yes, this is within military settings, but you need to be really naïve or daft to think that this is happening only because of the military setting or only since they enlisted.

I will explain this once, because people seem to hang on to the "they have to shower together in the military" and "these are communal showers and they shower with others as well".

NOPE.

What might have been true for basic training, the whole designated shower times and showering together (for soldiers as a whole, not JM and JK, because they did not shower with others from the start, I've talked about this in previous posts), is not true once they are assigned to their units. At that point soldiers can shower at their own free will and time, before or after duties. Depending on the barracks there will also be a difference of how these showers look - you could have a bathroom for every room of 4 (this would be in newer quarters) or multiple stall showers for barracks with bigger rooms that hold multiple soldiers. JK and JM have different duties within their unit. Different timetables. And yet they choose to wait for each other and shower together.

They don't have to!!

They choose to!!

In any case, point being that JK and JM CHOOSE (once again that word) to shower together.

Just the two of them!!!

But then, they have always been showering together.

I mean, they've been doing it for years.

And I'm not talking about the early days when the lot of them may have had to shower together. No. I'm talking about when they are 2 grown ass men, including when they are no longer living in the dorms (which would be for at least 4 years now).

We might have only guessed or assumed it in the past though. You know, because of us believing they are a couple, their shared accommodations and the crumbs they have left for us, like the good Hansel and Gretel that they are.

What am I talking about, you may ask?

Well, here are a few examples...

I guess I'll start with Jikook in Malta.

Hobi's surprise visit to JK's room.

Finding a wet haired JK in his pj's, telling us he just came out of the shower. Ignoring a wet haired JM also in the same room. Clearly having showered shortly therefor.

Not cutting proof, I know, but definitely eyebrow raising suspicious.

JM telling us JK's shower lengths

Current shower lengths.

JM knowing this. The others not (if the "they live together in the dorms" excuse is sounded).

Then we had Run BTS episodes 131-132.

I will let JK speak for himself.

Next we have JK's live 27 July 2023.

That was a doozy, wasn't it?😂😂

That was smoking

the flirting

the posturing.

This one was over the roof loud, and because of that maybe one of the loudest moments just flew over some people's heads...

What is he saying?

He'll grab his toiletries and go over to do the live? Shower at JM's before? Shower at his after? Do the live, shower and sleep over? Whichever of these you go with it's god damn fucking loud.

The ease in which JK just says it too. It's just something he's used to do. Go wash up at JM's. Because what? The shower in his luxurious unit in Brunnen doesn't work? The man lives a few minutes away from JM and yet he needs to pop over to his to shower?

I ask you this: do you think JK is going to JM's to shower alone? Something he can clearly do at home?

And JM? I didn't hear a no to the "I'll come over and shower at yours". Just a not now to the live. So...

Ays jeju shower

🐰We might feel differently after a shower.

🐰This might be because we just swam.

🐥ppeuriri~

This time no giggles, just a smile and then a sultry expression walking towards JK.

Cut.

Talk about showering with them off camera.

And lots of shady stuff going on to make us think that maybe, just maybe, those two kind of showered together.

Idk, am I being clear enough?

So, let's talk about that shower for a second.

We see JK going into the bathroom, JM nowhere to be seen.

Obviously he's not showering upstairs with Tae asleep there and both of their suitcases spread out open in front of the downstairs bathroom.

Next we see JM outside of the bathroom brushing his hair dressed after the shower and JK is in the bathroom partially dressed after that shower.

JM walking in behind JK, and yes, it looks like he's lifting his arms to fix his hair, but that cut there again.... I am choosing to believe that he also went in for a hug there. Hill meet Kanmom.

Oh, and hunger issue solved at this point.

Ppeuriri.

So if you're ready (so if you're ready) And if you'll let me (and if you'll let me) I wanna see it in motion, in 3D (uh-uh) You won't regret me (you won't regret me) Champagne confetti (champagne confetti) I wanna see it in motion, in 3D

They said it, not me!!!

Who needs to eat anything when you can get some 3D action instead?

Are you sure Sapporo

JM goes to have a shower, JK following in suit a few minutes later, walking into the bathroom (after that morning wood subsides if only a little, I may add).

JK going to shower with JM or not, they clearly have zero problem with being naked in front of each other, JK not even hesitating to walk in on a showering JM. Friends or not, living together years ago or not, there is this thing called privacy and respecting each other's privacy, oh and boundaries between 2 grown people.

You know who has zero issues with that? Couples!!!

So yeah, we got these hints and crumbs over the years.

But then JK goes and drops this, with that cute ass smirk on his face...

Like it's nothing.

Like there is nothing to it.

Like this won't break the internet, blow our minds to smithereens and break TKKs and solos and haters.

Like not only confirming they shower together (huge within itself), this confirmed what so many were trying to disprove for the past 12 months since they enlisted, and that is that the two are together by choice, have been ever since they enlisted, and choose to spend their spare time together as well. Including in the shower.

But then again...

This REALLY shouldn't have come as such a surprise seeing that JM most definitley had zero problem doing this:

With the gymnastics that it took to perfect writing his name on that chest that clearly belongs to him.

As he's made it clear!!!

And as so proudly JK is showcasing it as well.

[lucysarah-c]

I'll just say, I may be here posting about Mounting Spring, asks etc... But I'm cooking... I'm cooking something everyone asked me for lol

“I like this! This 3D flower pattern is so on trend right now.”

Levi’s eyes were glued to the screen as a freshly painted nail was shown up close.

“Oh, hi! Thank you,” her voice popped up again, and like an animal in pure confusion, he tilted his head to the side.

What are those things popping up? He was completely lost.

“Isn’t it too late for coffee?” she read aloud before grabbing her cup and taking a sip from the straw. “There’s no such thing as too much black or too late for coffee. Plus, it’s girls’ night! What’s a girls’ night without iced coffee or a glass of wine?”

This feels wrong now, Levi thought, taking a sip of his own drink, lazily sprawled on his bed. But when she started showing off her pajamas, that’s when he lost it.

Holy shit... it’s the little shorts doing it for me.

“This is why kids these days have their eyes glued to this shit,” he muttered, almost offended— as if his own mouth wasn’t slightly open and his eyes weren’t stuck to the screen as she vibed to the song playing in the background.

“Have you ever tried… this one?” She winked at the camera, arm in the air, hips moving in a way that Levi quickly guessed was meant to simulate riding. Over the kitchen island.

…I’m definitely not better than a 12-year-old boy.

The chat flooded with messages about how much they loved the song.

Whose song is this?

“Oh! I love that! Ugh, my heart is divided, I want all of them to win! Birds of a Feather is so good, but Hot to Go?” she gushed, listing more names Levi didn’t recognize.

Who are those?

“And the dance?”

What trend? What song? What dance?

Levi felt lost. Completely lost.

“Oh, thank you for the donation! Here, a heart for you!”

She pressed two fingers together in the shape of a heart. Levi tilted his head again, frowning.

How the hell is that a heart?

But before he could keep questioning his entire existence—or, perhaps, his age—her expression shifted. The usual bright smile faded as she read something from the chat.

“Look, if you’ve got a problem with me, just keep scrolling, buddy. Can an admin ban him from the stream, please?”

That made Levi do the exact opposite. He scrolled up through the rapidly moving chat until he found the comment in question. Some idiot had said she owed it to him if something happened because of what she was wearing and doing on screen.

“What’s your fucking problem, dude?” Levi whispered, clicking his tongue. “If a woman has never even touched you, don’t say it so loudly.”

His fingers moved on their own, pressing the guy’s username, looking for a way to reply—until he suddenly let the phone drop onto his chest and stared at the ceiling.

“I need to calm down,” he muttered. Being in this live stream was already too much for him. Getting into an online argument was not the way to go.

How long had he been watching? He wasn’t sure. But in that time, he’d learned that ASMR meant tapping on objects with freshly done nails and whispering, that people voted on live which designs she should do next, and… a whole lot more.

“Say you can’t sleep, baby, I know. That’s me, espresso…”

She sang along to the music, and he felt hypnotized.

“…Did I just spend two hours of my life on this?”

The “Love ya!” came through the speakers as she blew a final kiss before ending the live.

“For fuck’s sake…” Levi muttered, almost offended. “You can’t be that stupidly cute.”

Maybe pop songs were popular for a reason. Maybe that’s why Levi never downloaded any apps on his phone or used it for anything beyond strictly necessary texts. Because explain to him why the hell he was humming at work.

“Since when do you know Sabrina Carpenter?”

Hange appeared out of nowhere, catching him off guard.

Levi had to come up with an excuse. Fast.

“What? Is it illegal for me to know new songs?”

“No…” Hange dragged the word out, squinting at him in suspicion. “But since when do you?”

“Give me a break. I’m not that old. I can get to know new artists,” he brushed it off while brewing himself a tea.

Hange let it slide, but their mind was already working, scheming. They kept talking, mostly about work. But as Levi finished his tea and was ready to leave, Hange casually dropped:

“Espresso?”

Levi frowned. “What?”

Hange repeated the question immediately, as if he hadn’t heard them the first time. But of course, he had.

“Fuck no. You know I hate coffee. Black tea,” he grumbled.

To his shock, Hange chuckled, shaking their head, biting their lip as they held back a knowing smile.

“Aww, Shortie… don’t give yourself away.”

“Huh?”

“Espresso. That’s the song you were humming.” Their grin widened. “I’m starting to think you’re not just listening to new artists—you’re watching new people.”

Levi stiffened.

And for the first time, he couldn’t hide the subtle embarrassed blush creeping up his face.

“Get off my ass,” he muttered, already walking away.

But Hange wasn’t done.

“And I think it might be Erwin’s cute little influencer friend!”

I won't say anything else, let the readers figure it out.

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 24

---

pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n hi. it's me. i'm back. i don't have any excuses to make.

please also check out daybreak, posting weekly from now on (yes i did write an entire smau instead of queenmaker and sit on it for almost six months)

previous | masterlist | next

---

Comeback approaches like a hurricane; it's there, developing in the corner of your eye just off the coast of your island, and then all at once it is here, and it is so all-encompassing that you're not even sure where here is anymore.

Comeback. Debut. The most important day of your life. One of those.

 Time starts to fly by; schedules and practice and filming and every so often the chance to sleep or to grab something to eat with the others. It drags at your coattails, sticks itself to your feet and settles like a weight upon your shoulders, but you can't stop. There are performances to film, and then there is a concert that you are missing so much of the choreography for, and even when all of that is over, you are headfirst into award season and special performances and group activities for the company and-

First, debut. Second, everything else.

The camera sits on the table in front of you, staring with one dark, unblinking eye as a brush darts across your face, erasing all your imperfections. It fills your stomach with a funny kind of fear, small but poisonous, stinging when you think about turning it on - you've managed to put it off so far, waiting until your face was made up to at least avoid having to see your own naked skin reflected back at you in the viewfinder. No one else wanted to see that either, you're sure, after the things you've read and...well, the experiences you've had in the past. It's good to know your limits, after all.

That excuse is fast running out now though, and the time to go up towards the stage is drawing closer with alarming speed, and if you don't capture any footage before that happens, you're in some real trouble, no matter how loudly Seungmin and Felix are churning out hours worth of content on the other side of the room.

It takes real, deliberate effort to lean forward and turn that camera on once the makeup artist proclaims you ready, your hands delaying still as they fiddle with the angle and the focus, following the motions the manager that had handed it to you had shown you before he left. It gives you a little red light to say it is filming, and you swallow down the stone in your throat and sit up straight, looking around at the room to avoid the stare of its lense.

The first minute of your vlog is very boring. It's probably only the thought of some stranger sitting in a room later and watching you sit there awkwardly for a ridiculous amount of time that spurs you into saying anything at all. 

"Hello Stay," you begin, because it seems the only way to begin. The words feel awkward in your mouth, your tongue stiff and undeserving of saying them, and your throat scratches and dries; you think, as you speak, that you do not sound like a singer at all. "It's nice to meet you...for the second time." 

A noise rises up from behind you, giving you pause just as you run out of things to say - Han, running his voice up and down the scales as he begins to warm up. You've gotten used to that by now, the volume of the boys around you, but you're grateful for the excuse to pause in your self-rumination anyway, the precious seconds it gives you to figure out what it is you're saying.

Act normal, you tell yourself firmly as you turn back to the camera.

"I guess I should introduce myself, shouldn't I?" you say, your fingers twisting in your lap. "I'm L/N Y/N from Stray Kids, and today we're at [] for our first performance of Back Door, and I have just finished with the makeup..."

In the corner of the viewfinder, you notice a face hovering over your shoulder; Jeongin, waving a peace sign just out of your field of vision. You turn to look at him, shuffling over so that he is in full view for the camera. "What are you doing?" you ask and he leans in closer, automatically fixing the angle for the camera.

"I just wanted to see what you were doing," he says, refreshingly peaceful compared to the chaos that is building in the rest of the room. "Is this a vlog?"

"Mhm," you answer, and he smiles and waves again to the camera. "Are you dressed already?"

"Nearly," he says, glancing down at his white shirt and the black necklace that dangles around his neck. "You have time still."

You glance down at yourself; hoodie and cargo pants, neat but not show-ready by any means. "Mine is cold," you say by way of explanation, thinking of the skirt and thin shirt that wait on a rack in the next room, a far cry from the long pants the eight of them are wearing; and you really do like the look you've been given, but the thought of sitting around cold before you had to was less than enticing. "I was going to go and change in a minute."

"Maybe you should swap with someone," I.N suggests slyly. "I bet Changbin would look good in a skirt."

"Changbin's pants wouldn't fit me," you throw back, and he has to turn away from the camera to hide the ugly laugh that snorts from his nose. "He's too-"

Short, you don't say, your eyes tracking the boy in question as he passes by. He pauses in the back of your video when he notices your eyes on him, looks between you suspiciously, and then dances his way out of frame, having decided, you guess, that you aren't up to anything worthy of comment.

The look you share with I.N almost makes you laugh again. "I'm going," you say, scooping up your camera as you stand, "before he realises we're talking about him."

---

"Why do you look nervous?" Chan asks, a shadow that suddenly stands beside you as someone clips a mic pack onto his belt. You eye him in disbelief to avoid turning to look at the hallway that leads to the stage again, trying to figure out if he's joking or not.

"I can be nervous if I want to," you answer after a few seconds, in a way that definitely doesn't hide how anxious you feel at all. 

"But you shouldn't be," he insists, "because there's nothing to be nervous about."

"You know that won't stop me," you scoff.

He cracks a smile despite himself. He almost laughs, except that he's busy turning to nod in acknowledgement of whatever the assistant behind him says on her way past. "It's going to be a good performance," he says, like the simple act of saying it is enough to manifest it into existance, like he would never believe otherwise.

"It's going to be good," you agree readily. "The concerts next week are going to be good too."

That smile flashes across his face again, his eyes lighting up. "You're excited?" he asks - and you almost feel guilty, that he would think that you wouldn't be excited, that you've worked so hard and put on such a stoic face that any of them might start to think this is a chore for you, rather than a dream coming true in front of your eyes.

"Of course I'm excited," you tell him emphatically, before he can get any ideas. "I can't wait to-"

"Y/N noona!" Changbin says as he strides across the room, stopping the thought halfway through. You turn to face him and the phone he waggles in his hand questioningly. "Take a photo with me."

"Right now?" you ask, looping your in-ears over your shoulders as if to demonstrate just how poor his timing is.

Changbin doesn't notice at all. "Why not now?" he questions. "I'm supposed to take a photo for instagram. Come and take one with me."

Beside you, Chan looks like he still has something to say, but when you glance at him, he only shrugs, turning away to fiddle with his own equipment. "Alright," you agree easily and follow Changbin, over to a bland enough piece of wall with decent lighting. You have a feeling someone has already scouted the room earlier for the best places to take photos, judging by how easy it is to find and how well it photographs.

It's a good distraction from the nerves for a few minutes, but it doesn't last much longer than that; especially not when Changbin barks and fusses over the angle and the faces, and then Hyunjin comes wandering over to take the camera out of his hand, and you realise that he's occupying you as much as doing what Skijigi have asked him to do. After that, you laugh and poke fun back at him with just the same vivacity, but it does nothing to assauge the anxiety that's planted deep in your gut, roots curling out to envelop you.

Somehow, when you're done, it is time to go up to the stage - and suddenly, you are engulfed within the group and walking that hallway you had been staring at what feels like moments ago, trying to swallow with a dry mouth and a stone in your throat and wondering if you'll actually be able to get any of the notes out at all.

Chan's hand touches your shoulder as you walk, appearing by your side in just the same way as he had earlier. You wonder if he can smell fear or something; or if you really are just that pale and drawn in the face, if your hands are shaking or something. Whatever it is, you're clearly not doing a very good job of hiding it. 

"You still look nervous," he tells you cheerily, and if he's aware that he's reading your thoughts, he doesn't give any indication of it, not even as he pulls you aside as you reach side-stage and glances up at the huddle of boys that continue to the bottom of the stairs, eyeing them as if there's something he doesn't want them to hear.

"I got you something," he says, when he's sure there are no eavesdroppers, and lets his lips curve in a secretive, delighted smile.

Your eyebrow raises in surprise, almost certain that he did not forget, but rather has been looking for the right time to bring it up - but he doesn't notice the look of disbelief, fishing a small, velvet bag out of his pocket. He offers it to you on an outstretched palm, a bridge to form the gap between you.

With timid, shaking fingers you take it, noting the pink that stains his cheeks and the way he cringes away from meeting your eye as you pull the drawstrings loose. "I saw you playing with the ones at K-Con," he hurries to explain before you can even see what's inside. "And you - fidget a lot. I thought it might help."

A ring tumbles out of the bag and into your palm, the full stop to the end of his sentence. It's only a plain silver band, softly curved at the edges and gleaming where the light hits it - nothing ostentatious or gaudy. Just a simple band for you to twist around your finger, the letters SKZ engraved on its inner circle.

"Thankyou," you manage to say as you slip it onto your finger - and then fiddle with it, twisting it and forth to distract yourself from the nervous hum that seems to hang in the air between you.

"Oh, no." He waves you away before you can even get the words out, that pink flushing his face. "Look, it works already." 

You glance down at your fingers and the twist of the ring, and feel the grin that bites at your face. "I like it," you admit, and try to breathe the nervous jitters out of your chest with the words. 

He looks...relieved? You're not sure, when the music blasts on stage and then cuts off and the crowd roars in response, cutting him off before he can say whatever it is that now lines the back of his teeth. It looks like relief on his face though; as if he'd been worried you wouldn't take the gift or something. Wouldn't see the sentiment behind it even if you didn't like it. What does he think of you, if that's how he thinks you might react?

The thought sends another thrill of fear down your spine, one that the scrape of that ring on your finger can't quiet. So does the scream of that crowd - adrenaline rises from your chest, wrapping its hands around your throat; that wild, senseless energy tensing in your body like you're about to run from a fight-

A hand claps your shoulder. "Are you breathing?" Seungmin asks, balancing on one foot as he leans around you to frown at your face.

You have to inhale to retort, and he smirks. "That's what I was wondering," Chan says behind that grin - but the brush of his hand over the back of yours is much softer; questioning, rather than the jolt of contact from Seungmin.

"I don't need to breathe," you throw at them weakly. "I'm a robot."

"How do I turn you off, then?" Chan asks, and then laughs when you stare at him, surprised. Betrayed, maybe, when you would have expected such a thing to come out of Seungmin's mouth rather than his.

You're distracted by the call of a staff member, waiting to usher you onto the stage - and there, again, are your nerves, returned in two-fold. Debut, you remember again for the thousandth time today. Your dream. Your reward. Your life's work, the only work you've ever learnt how to do.

The group huddle together, say some quick words of encouragement that float past you with registering at all. Your hand is warm in the centre of all of theirs, crushed by the weight of someone's palm as eight hands go down and whoever is on the bottom goes up, ruining the whole thing. You know that you laugh, between the groans and cries of retribution, but it doesn't reach right into your chest. All your attention is laser-focused on the steps before you and the buzz of the crowd waiting beyond.

You are not alone in your daze, at least. Many hands pat your shoulders, smooth your hair. Felix throws an arm around you until you reach the stairs, a one-armed hug while he talks about something in your ear. He lets you go while you climb, and follows on your heels out onto the stage.

The crowd is smaller than K-Con, to your mercy, even if they scream and cheer just as loud as that massive crowd had. It seems like a stupid thing to find comfort in a moment later, when the thought hits you again; of course the crowd is smaller. This is only a broadcast recording, not the concerts that leer at your from the near future.

Some of the boys are already at the centre of the stage, waving and talking to fans. You join them long enough for the official greeting - and then melt away into the background when Changbin immediately commands attention. You find Han there with you, arms swinging by his sides in one last warmup, but you can't think of anything to say other than the tight grin that offers itself to him, no doubt writing all you nerves right onto your face. The smile he gives you in return is sympathetic, and devoid of pretty words to go with it; just a flash of teeth, a puff of air that blows into his cheeks before exhaling. It's a little comfort, at least.

The call to begin shatters any calm it pulls over you just as quickly as it arrives though, the stage a hive of activity as everyone finds their places. For a long moment, no one moves and nothing plays, the tense, still seconds ticking by at an excruciating pace-

And then the music starts.

And then you dance.

And then you sing, loud and clear and bright - and steady, even with the complex movement of your body and the increasing cry of your chest for air. 

The finale rises and culminates with Felix's voice, standing at the end of the line behind you. You feel his weight bump against you as he shifts on his feet, hear the moment of silence and then the renewed cheer of the crowd when his ending fairy comes up on the screens. You can't see when it ends, so you count to five before you turn, ducking out of the line as requested and immediately finding the red light of the camera that was told to be waiting for you. Finger hearts, Felix had suggested backstage and Hyunjin had agreed, and so that is what you give them, angled just so by your cheek and the giddy smile that had been pulling on your lips before the music was even finished.

The stage goes silent, the few scattered beginnings of applause quickly throttled by the hands that remain in their laps. The seconds tick by at a glacial pace, the smile threatening to slip from your face. You glue it there with all the fire that remains in your veins.

You could swear the camera lingers, just to drink in your pain. Logically, you know it is the same time as Felix had. Somehow, the thought isn't comforting.

Finally, that lense clicks off and the boys move around you, giving the crowd something else to hawk and squeal at. Something they really want to see, you allow yourself to think acerbically, and carefully avoid looking any of them in the eye as you do your forced, casual wander off the stage. It is hard enough to achieve in your own bubble, to resist that urge to run, let alone if you catch anything like sympathy on their faces.

The first one below, you take one look at the playback monitor and excuse yourself to the staff, fleeing towards the bathrooms. You're dimly aware of footsteps behind you and the sound of your name, but they do not process and your feet won't stop - not until the heavy door slams shut behind you and the propel of your walk carries you in sight of the mirror over the sinks-

Beautiful, you'd dared to think earlier, staring vindictively at just the same image that looks back at you now. The careful fit of the navy shirt, the short skirt flattering the length and lines of your legs, the layered bangles and the diamonds that glitter around your neck...perfectly crafted to slip right in amongst the silk and patterns of the boys - and not unlike Midnight's dark queen concept either, the concept you hadn't had the right look for. You'd even liked your face, and the unearthly glow they'd painted into your cheeks, the perfect frame of your dark hair-

But something had displeased that crowd. Whether the look, or the dancing, or stupid, stubborn pettiness over girlish crushes - or all of it put together. It took a lot to silence an entire crowd. You knew that - you'd seen one refuse to be silenced before, but never nominally refuse to cheer. Never pass the sentiment around and come to an absolute mutual agreement.

It's a talent, to be able to do that by yourself, you think as you stare into your own eyes in the mirror; and you don't have it in you to deny the rush of feelings that wells in your chest this time, or the hot prick of tears in your eyes. Your thoughts are swept off in the storm, the questions clamouring, crying, begging for one answer; why, why, why, why. Why do they hate you, why are they so mean about it, why didn't you just go home? Why did you ever come to this country in the first place? Why id you think you were good enough to be worth their love?

A soft knock on the door precedes the tentative entry of an assistant; one of the girls from JYP that always travels with you on schedules. You know her name, but you should know her better; instead, you've just been keeping to yourself. Another point of failure, probably.

"Y/N?" she says, daring to put one foot through the door as you blink and nod in acknowledgement. "Sorry - we need to start heading back now. You can have another moment - if you need-"

"I'm coming," you hurry to say; and it is shame that colours your cheeks and gives you the strength again to swallow it down like a hard stone. The tears burn as you blink them away, as you stare at the mirror and decide that no more will fall except for the traitorous three that have already escaped. You'll have to go back on that stage - you won't go red-eyed and puffy, won't give them that satisfaction.

You'll have to do that ending again too, though. Weather that storm a second time. Well, you'll just have to make sure this take is perfect, and then no one will ask for a third. You'll be able to go home and hide.

Your moment is up. You know that, and so you turn yourself away from the mirror, to the girl that waits. She willingly averts her eyes as she steps out, holding the door for you until you grip the edge of it with your own hand and follow her.

Chan is waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall and staring at nothing as he waits. There's a dark anger in his eyes when he turns, but it isn't for you - no, the tissue box in his hand is for you, offered like a bridge that spans the gap between you. 

Warily, you draw one and turn aside to dab at your eyes and try to cool the burn in your cheeks. You want to cringe away from yourself and hide in the bathroom again, to put off facing him until he goes away - but if you do that, he'll know you're hiding, and the hovering assistant will bear the blame of not bringing you back, and those fans will think they know why it's taking so long-

Stupid. They already know that they've won. Chan can see you crying. There's no one left to make a fool of except yourself.

"Are you alright?" Chan asks - and just like you thought, there is none of that anger in the gentle voice that asks.

"It's fine," you answer, biting at your tongue agains the tears that threaten to stir anew. "Sorry. I just needed - a moment. I'm ready to go again."

"Take another moment," he tells you.

"I'd rather go," you say, and it comes out harsher than you mean it to - but it is only the tears that you are fighting, that horrible, gut-wrenching wave of emotion that wants to wash over you. "I'm fine. Really."

The tissue crushes in your palm. You wonder if the sceptical look he gives you is because of the makeup you've surely smudged, or if he just doesn't believe you. "Are you sure?" he asks, and you steel yourself as you breathe in.

"I will be if we don't talk about it," you tell him tightly, and then you take the lead before he can disagree. He falls into step willingly anyway, thoughtful or maybe brooding as you weave your way back to the stage.

"We're not doing the endings again," he tells you as you approach, right as the flock of makeup artists engulf you. Like they knew you'd be crying, you think acerbically, and then banish the thought before it can unbalance you again.

"Were there any notes for me?" you ask as a brush dusts your cheek. The dancing; that's the only thing you need to focus on. The performance. Do it perfectly, and you can escape. Subconsciously, you fingers find the ring, twisting it around and around.

"Not for you," Chan says. "Just try to enjoy it again, yeah?"

Several choice comments come to mind as you gaze at him, each one as dry and hurt as the last, but a look at the occupants of the room stills your tongue. Assistants and stylists and employees of the show - people that you shouldn't be caught speaking ill of fans or members in front of. You've read your contracts and the company ethics, seen the bill for your training attached to your name. You know how far fans and a good public image takes even the most insidious people.

"I'll try," you promise instead, firmly holding your tongue to your principals. No point complaining about hardships anyway. This isn't an industry that takes pity on those who are too weak to survive it.

Even so, the answer seems vapid and contrived the moment it spills out of your mouth. Chan doesn't have time to contest it; the others are already returning to the stage to entertain that undeserving crowd, and so you must follow too, side by side in silence. His microphone passes restlessly from hand to hand, even when you step on stage and his brow smoothes out. You wonder how long that rage will simmer beneath his skin.

Until he can do something about it, a little voice whispers to you with a thrill, watching his receding back.

The stage sweeps you away after that, Chan disappearing into the midst of the others with just one last glance over his shoulder to make sure that you're following. Seungmin replaces him, appearing unobtrusively in your shadow as Felix slings an arm back around your shoulders and bats his hand away from messing with your hair. They flank you until you drift into your position, and then the stage goes quiet so that the music can start again. 

The dance flies by; chorus, verse, bridge, dance break. The fans cheer and chant along as dutifully as they had the first time, but the sound resonates hollow in your chest this time, the faces that you give the camera manufactured rather than brought on by the music. It's hard to forget, now that you know the truth, that those cheers aren't for you; only the boys that surround you, their bodies moving in unison with yours. Part of them, and yet set apart. 

You'd come six years ago expecting to be the jewel in that kind of crown, you think. This crowd has made you the flaw, ugly and unmistakably out of place.

It's a relief when the song ends and you can let go, your shoulders slumping and your chin dropping to your chest as you stare at the floor and try to breathe. A hundred emotions sweep by you, there and then swallowed again by the storm that churns in your stomach; you flinch away from the crowd's laughter at something Han does, and then laugh when Changbin's face appears upside-down in your field of vision, his body contorted strangely in an effort to meet your eyes. There's still something hiding in Chan's eyes and Felix is openly angry, but Minho gives nothing away in the nod he gives you as he passes by. Changbin talks about what to get for dinner on the way back down the stairs, but the words just wash over you; you're not hungry anyway, after all of this, just hollow and restless and tired.

Your third filming trudges by much the same, correcting a small mistake by Han in the pursuit of perfection. The boy looks apologetic as he passes you by, but it's not him or the dancing that you resent. It's just a thing you have to do, until all nine of you are pleased, until you can finally leave that stage and draw the hoodie you'd worn here on a very different kind of morning back over your head and climb into a car to go home.

You don't win any awards. The boys hide their disappointment, but you know it is there. You know, too, where the fan vote went and why that trophy was stolen away from them. 

You're not really sure what anyone expects you to do about it.

---

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids

@hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts

@puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night

@d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk

@minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder @amesification

@starssongs98 @weirdhumanbeinglol @morinuu @the-weird-mold-in-the-sink @bokkiesplace

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @skzstaykatsy @blackhairandbangs @jungkookies1002

@hyuuukais @imsiriuslyreal @thatonedemigodfromseoul @gini143 @mercurywritesstuff

@splat00z @filmbypsh @palindrome969 @crabrangoongirl25 @enzos-shit

@jabmastersupriseee @kayleefriedchicken @hynjinswrld @duhgurl @cheshireshiya

@keepswingin

[belle--ofthebrawl]

Femslash February Day 3! Mountain wingmanning at a lesbian bar (his greenhouse) (Sfw!)

Ok look, I don't know how many consecutive days of writing and posting I have in me. But I'm going to try my hardest to get so much Femslash out this month. I'm not following any set prompt or challenge list. Just my heart. And my pu-

"I need help." Mist says. 

Mountain sets down his carefully trimmed bonsai and looks at her over the rim of his glasses. She's fresh from the lake, with clothes sopping wet from being tugged on right away. Her fingers twist around a tarnished old pendant (skull, eyes set with emeralds). And, most intriguingly, the barest hint of a blush on the apples of her cheeks.

(And slung over her shoulders what is quite possibly the largest pike he's ever seen in an impressive display of prowess but that is neither here nor there. She's not asking for help with the fish.)

"I understand." Mountain replies, having seen that same look on Aether after he met Dew. 

"There was an Air sunning herself on the dock," Mist says. "I've seen her around but I don't know her name."

“What did she look like?” He asks patiently. Cirrus had a fondness for hellebore and datura, but she was usually practicing keyboard with Zephyr this time of day. He glances at a pot of white lilies and nods to himself, even before Mist tells him.

“Big.” Mist says. “Big body, big poofy hair, big sunglasses. I think I splashed her when I jumped out of the water.”

It's the most flustered he’s ever seen her, the way she paces back and forth, trailing her hand in a tub of water lilies.

"I had the fish. In my mouth. When I jumped up on the dock. And I scared her. And I didn't apologize cause my mouth was full of fish. I just walked away and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary."

“Joe cool.” He says suavely and earns a flat glare. He meets it with his own carefully blank face until Mist rolls her eyes and flicks water at him.

“I know her.” He says as an olive branch. “Cumulus. She'll be a backing vocalist and keyboardist on our next tour. Real sweet.”

“Is she the type to be bothered by how I acted?” Is Mist’s next question and Mountain thinks about it. Plenty of ghouls became “domesticated” once they were up top, vastly preferring the convenience of Abbey kitchens and a set menu to a more traditionalist approach like Mist enjoys taking.  From what he's seen, Cumulus had adored the luxuries of the Topside like bubble baths and ice cream. But she still politely asked to have raw meat whenever she ate in the cafeteria. She enjoyed organs and eyeballs, cutting daintily into her meal and chewing methodically before swallowing.

He spares a glance at the pike. It's a decent size, almost as tall as Mist’s scant five feet and from the looks of it, hadn't gone down without a fight. It might be good sliced into fillets with lemon pepper and celery salt. He doesn't think Cumulus has tried raw fish yet.

“You’ll be fine.” He says. “So. Let’s start with the focus of the bouquet.”

“Don’t you start with that flower language.” Mist warns him. “I think it’s ridiculous. I just want something pretty for her to look at without any second meanings for her to guess. I don’t like codes.”

“Alright.” Mountain says, humoring her. “So, lets just start with flowers that remind you of her. Take a look at what calls you.”

Mist beelines for the lilies and Mountain smiles to himself. Mist isn't the type to be sentimental and he hardly expects her to verbalize her thought process. It would be more practical than poetic anyway because that's just how she was. He just guesses and watches and waits while she goes from flower to flower, brow furrowed in thought. 

“I like these.” She says about a pot of bullthistle he’s been nurturing from seed. It's on it's second year and growing tall, fine shoots that promise to bear nasty, thorny leaves. He's got an idea about how the species might be used to strengthen the borders of the abbey but he's worried about how fast it spreads. So it sits, with its purple crowns atop tiny thorny heads. 

“Thank you.” Mountain says. “For the bouquet or just to admire?”

“Just to admire.” Mist admits. Shifting her weight to still keep ahold of the pike, she thrusts her bouquet before him for inspection. Dominated by the lilies, she's added sprigs of lavender and fat peonies. Ferns have been tucked here and there to break up the flowers and Mountain gives her a silent thumbs up. There's no doubt Cumulus will love it.

"Thank you." Mist says gratefully. “I…I really appreciate it, Mountain.”

“Go get’em tiger.” He says as she nods to herself and heads out to find her girl, toting a gorgeous bouquet and her freshly slaughtered kill.

And no sooner do her footsteps fade when Mountain picks up another pair heading to the back of the greenhouse.

"I'm sorry." He says to the bonsai. "We're just doomed to always have interruptions in our alone time, it would seem."

The bonsai forgives him. It was a patient tree. It could wait a little longer.

"Mountain?" Comes Cumulus' frantic voice. "Mountain, you have to help me."

She bursts into the greenhouse, a gorgeous mess of floppy curls and chiffon as she presses her hands to her rosy cheeks. Her sunglasses are askew, her hat is about to fall off and he's never seen her so far from neatly put-together in her entire time with them.

"There was a water Ghoulette." She begins softly. "Caught the biggest fish I've ever seen. So stoic! Such a huntress!  Mountain, I think I'm in love."

"I understand." He says soothingly. "Why don't you take a look at those water lilies while I grab some thistle? Wouldn't want you hurting your hands."

[pwblant]

24. the end

it’s the next day. yesterday, you were terrified to open your phone, dreading the harsh reality you expected from the fans. the whole time, you couldn’t shake off the terrible thoughts about the future of the café, but you tried to keep your cool. you spent the night at wonbin’s place, and he kept you company, constantly reassuring you that everything would be okay. but if things went wrong, then what? what happens next?

while eating breakfast, you glance at wonbin, who’s sitting next to you, and finally ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind. “bin, your company would force us to break up if they don’t approve of me, right?”

he barely hesitates. “y/n,” he says firmly, looking at you. “we’ve already talked about this before. stop thinking about it because it’s not going to happen.” then, as if to emphasize his point, he pulls the hair tie off his wrist and gathers your messy hair into a ponytail.

“whatever happens, we. are. not. breaking. up. i wont let it happen.” his voice is steady, full of determination.

the room goes silent for a few seconds until you reach over to pick up your phone on the counter.

“this is killing me,” you let out a shaky breath. “i’m going to check twitter.”

wonbin exhales deeply. “alright, but remember y/n, i’m always going to be here by your side no matter what the result is. i’m really just hoping for the best at this point.”

with a lump in your throat, you open the app, expecting to see nothing but harsh words. except… they aren’t there. instead, you’re met with an overwhelming amount of kindness.

your hand flies up to cover your mouth. “oh.”

wonbin immediately tenses. “what? what’s happening? is it bad?” his voice laced with concern.

shaking your head, you stand up, barely able to contain your excitement. before you know it, you’re throwing your arms around him. “i’m so happy, i’m so happy.” your words come out muffled against his shoulder.

he lets out a breath of relief, hugging you tighter. “so i’m guessing it’s good?”

you pull back just enough to look at him, eyes shining. “there’s still a few bad ones, but i saw so many positive responses. does this mean….”

he studies your face, smiling as he wipes away the stray tears that escaped your shiny eyes. then, as if he can’t help himself, he leans in, closing the space between you. his lips brush softly against yours—gentle, but full of relief and love. warmth spreads through your chest, and you smile into the kiss, your heart melting.

this is it. no more hiding. no more fear. it’s just the two of you, together, just as you should be.

when you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours, a breathy chuckle escaping him. “yes. yes it does mean what you think it does. i’m so excited,” he murmurs, his thumb grazing your cheek.

his eyes soften as he cups your face. “we don’t have to hide anymore. i can hold your hand in public, take you on dates, and post you without worrying about what people will say.” he pauses, his lips curling into a small grin. “rrr y/n. i’m glad you’re stuck with me now. i’m never letting you go.”

you roll your eyes, but your heart flutters all the same. “i wouldn’t want to be stuck with any other black cat anyway.” with a smirk, you pinch his cheek in return.

masterlist | previous

TAGLIST : CLOSED

@binoyu @sqh3e @antosaurius @yoursyuno @jvngw0nlvr @dorritoni @dudekiss3r @tadadw @choc0br3ad @kukkurookkoo @haobubbles @aruzhananas @holyhaech

a/n : aaaand this marks the end of Can’t Get You! thank you to everyone who came to support this fic and i’m looking forward to create even more things for you guys to read in the future. it’s kind of sad that it finally came to an end, but i hope that everyone enjoyed it like how i enjoyed making it🫧 boynextdoor fics next?? jkjk, unless…. 👀

[savage-sinister]

Do you have any advice for writers who are paralyzed by fear of mischaracterization?

The last thing I posted to Ao3 was years ago and both pieces were fandom poetry.

But, I've been infested with S.T.A.R.S polycule brainworms and need to get the words out in a style more like a novel.

Well, for starters, I LOVE S.T.A.R.S. polycule, so I am already very invested in hopefully giving you good advice that gets you writing. 😁

My first piece of advice is of course- fuck what anyone else thinks. Don't let an imaginary audience's reaction change how you write the characters.

The truth is, everyone perceives any given character a little differently, and has an image of them in their head that doesn't quite match up to anyone elses'. Embrace that, and embrace your interpretation, because

it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks

and I promise you there are people out there right now writing the absolute worst characterizations that would make you so mad.

Stupider people with worse ideas than you have done it with confidence. So don't be afraid. You write your own interpretation with the same confidence!

And that's how you deal with the fear that other people are going to think you're mischaracterizing them.

My next piece of advice may or may not be helpful to you, depending on how your brain works, but this is how *I* deal with the struggle of making sure the characters are "in character" as I personally perceive them.

As you might guess, I have a very strong sense of 'inner voice', or echolalia or whatever you want to call it. I remember voices and manners of speech that I hear and they get persevered as if recorded to an AI speech creation tool in my head.

So what I do when I'm writing dialogue is this.

If I can "hear" the character say the line I'm writing for them in my head. If I can "make the voice actor say it", if it matches up in tonality and mannerism in my mind, I assume it's in character and I write it.

if it doesn't match up, I revise the specifics of the line until I can hear it.

Basically just try to imagine the character saying whatever it is that you've written for them.

Again, that might not help you at all depending on the way your brain is set up, but if it doesn't help then just remember my first advice.

The bottom line is, if YOU feel like it's in character, if the character is behaving in a way that you think is the way they would or should act, then you're good.

because at the end of the day it doesn't matter if they're in character for "canon", unless that's specifically what you're going for. At the end of the day it only matters if they "in character" for the story that you're putting them in.

I hope that helped at least a little bit, and please loop me in when you put some writing out! <3

[nikethestatue]

A personal rant.

About the state of fandom in romantasy in general.

I scrolled through Reddit today and encountered this:

This is a comment—one out of over 160, about a popular series. This is not SJM specific, but I see something similar day in and day out.

Specifically regarding SJM, a good chunk of comments are all about how SJM is a money grabber, how every character sucks, how Rhys is a dictator, Feyre is a breeder, Elain should’ve died, cassian is an abuser, and on and on.

And then we all complain about SJMs silence. Her lack of interaction with the fandom. Her disinterest in the readers.

And then I think: writers, who write for weeks, months and sometimes years are doing this as a Job. This is their work. And not only do they deserve to be compensated for their work, but also….appreciated? How about that?

How would any of these keyboard warriors feel if someone came to them and berated every single thing that they did. Publicly. Wrote long reviews of every mistake, fault, and totally personal opinions about the quality of their performance at work?

Oh, well, authors should have thicker skin!!!’

Why?

Authors write books.

It’s a boring and lonely activity (trust me I know). And they often crank out huge book annually.

And then…they have to deal with this avalanche of hate, derision and complaints.

No one trains authors to develop ‘thicker skin’. They are often suburban moms who wanted to write. They aren’t trained by the CIA to develop survival tactics and not pay attention to all the crap that is being posted about them and their work.

SJM’s writing has been called every possible derogatory word, she’s been called everything from a racist to a money grabber to a plagiarizer.

Honestly? When is this going to stop?

The way readers treat writers is revolting.

What happened?

Is this because the internet offers anonymity and you can just say anything?

I get writing an honest review (hey I hated HOFAS! But I chose not to write a review because I knew it wouldn’t have been kind) or offering a genuine critique about something, but my god…a little kindness? A little grace?

Can anyone really blame SJM for completely withdrawing from the fandom? Can you imagine waking up, going on your basic social media and only seeing endless vitriol in regard to what you’ve created?

I don’t even know why I’m writing this but I guess I’m just tired of seeing books and authors that I love and who changed the trajectory of my life being bashed and insulted all over the internet.

Sometimes, not saying anything is the best policy.

[covenofagatha]

ok after the FFF post i think we now need your thought on reader teasing agatha during no nut november.

maybe first they make a bet about whether agatha can even make it through no nut november, and of course agatha is like what do u mean i can’t do it? and so she takes on the challenge.

you then start waking agatha up to the sounds of you fucking yourself with a dildo or smth and she already wants to quit.

you then proceed to tease her nonstop every day, and of course it’s harder for agatha because november has a few more days than february

- 🥕

Well it is only fair that reader gets a little payback for all of Agatha's teasing

You've been waiting ever since finger free February for this and you've been planning

It's a few days before November starts and you casually bring it up to Agatha over dinner. She scoffs it off at first, but then you appeal to her competitive nature: "Oh come on, mommy, you don't think you can last? I did. Guess you can't, though. Such a shame. You're just too desperate for me, aren't you? Can't control yourself at all?"

She takes the bait immediately and is outraged that you would even imply that she wouldn't be able to, and accepts

You two have the most sex you've ever had in the next few days, courtesy of Agatha trying to get out as many orgasms as she can

The first few days of November pass and you're her perfect baby, only making a few dirty remarks here and there and only attempting to brush her cock through her pants a few times

Agatha gets lulled into a false sense of security and thinks that maybe it won't be that hard (pun intended) after all

Until the next morning when she wakes up to hear wet squelching sounds and rolls over to find you with a dildo buried up to the hilt in your cunt, panting

But not just any dildo, no, the one you made with the penis molding kit that is an exact silicone replica of her cock (purposefully for this month - but she doesn't need to know)

So not only is she watching you fuck yourself with it, but she also now has the memory of you on your knees in the shower in front of her, blowing her to a full erection, and then stroking the molding powder over her cock to make the toy

"Fuck, mommy, your cock feels so good inside me," you moan, pumping it fast inside you, and Agatha is instantly hard as a rock, the few days without an orgasm finally catching up to her. She starts to hump the air and wonders how embarrassing it would be if she didn't even make it a week into it

She barely avoids cumming untouched when you orgasm all over the toy

Thus begins you starting to tease her for real

You've never been a big banana fan, but you certainly are now and you make eye contact with her every morning as you slide as much of it as you can take down your throat before gagging (which only makes her harder)

You give her your best "fuck me" eyes every night as you hold a vibrator to your clit, hips bucking, while you beg for her to put her cock inside you. "It's okay, mommy, you can just stop before you cum and it won't count," you tell her, but you both know that the second she gets inside you, she'll blow her load instantly

When she sits at her desk doing work, you saunter over in nothing but lingerie and straddle her lap, claiming you just want to be close to her, but that doesn't stop you from grinding on her rock hard cock through her pants while she grits her teeth and turns red as a tomato

It gets to the point that she's pretty sure if you were to touch her cock with your bare skin, she would fail

"Only four days left," you say cheerily and she grumbles something incoherently. She's been irritated and a little quick-tempered and you love it.

"It's not fair," she says. "November is two days longer than February."

You mockingly pout and suck on a lollipop. "Oh, poor mommy. But just think, on December first, you can fuck me again. God, I can't wait to have your cock inside me. I love when you twitch and pulse and throb and then fill me up with your cum and leaks out of me."

Agatha has to leave the room with a whimper because she's so painfully hard and doesn't trust herself to look at you without cumming right now

That night, you're laying next to her in bed, idly playing with your clit and sliding your fingers into your cunt every now and then. Agatha is making a pointed effort not to look, but you can see how tense she is. It comes to a breaking point when you push your wet fingers into her mouth and she groans before getting up, positioning herself between your legs, and hauling your cunt into her mouth

It's the first time she's touched you since October and you can't help yourself from making louder noises than you're used to because of how good it feels and you're so lost in pleasure that you don't even notice how she's started to grind against the bed

You're so close to an orgasm when she suddenly freezes and pulls back with a strangled sound. Her eyes are wide with panic, face red, and you can see her hips rutting

"Fuck fuck fuck," she chants and a thrill runs through you before her head drops down to rest against your stomach with a groan

When she flops over onto her back, you can see a wet stain on the front of her boxers and you laugh

"Guess since you lost, you can just go ahead and fuck me now," you sigh. "No point in waiting a few more days."

Agatha can't even be mad about it because at least her torture is over

You never fail to remind her that you made it longer than she did

[alovelydayforit]

"I spent many a H-Happy Hour at the Jet Jambiya. Wonderful Ale." -Khalid to Rasaad, SoD

Jet Jambiya Tavern is located in the Taorahl drudach. That makes it a good guess to which neighborhood Khalid was stationed as an amlak in. It's even a bit of a straight shot from the Amlakkhan(2) to the Jet Jambiya(27)🤭🍻

Taorahl is described as having embassies to promote foreign alliances in commerce and politics. Not a bad beat for a Harper, I think!

Text Provided below the cut:

Taorahl Drudach

Taorahl Drudach nestles in amongst the outer walls of the sabban, comfortably wedged against Wizard Ward and the shipyard walls of Hook Ward. Taorahl Drudach is the easternmost drudach of the three, and its wide streets lead from the edge of the Ajvent Sabban (shipyards) and the docks to the walls of Tarshaj Sabban in adjoining Wizard Ward. This drudach is commonly called the Twelvetors Dru-dach, as 12 minarets dominate the skyline. Three are am-lakkhan minaret posts, six attach to rich villas, and the three remaining towers belong to temples in this neighborhood. Of all the Hook Ward drudachs, this one is the safest at night due to more guards, clean streets, and an incorruptible sultan.

The syl-pasha recently selected this drudach to become an area for embassies specifically set up to gain foreign alliances in commerce and politics. Many of the pashas both like and dislike this, for it automatically "places outsiders at an undeserved social status above so many of our own" but it also opens up new opportunities for them to do business with prospects once too far from their reach. The most strident complaints come from those who wished to claim the housing that the embassies now fill.

Tavern: The Jet Jambiya

TD27, 2-story Class C building

Eraré Sabban; Taorahl Drudach. There are two internal taprooms for use during inclement weather, but most folk referring to the Jet Jambiya are talking either of the open-air courtyard that the G-shaped building encloses or the magical blade that hovers in the air above the courtyard. The place is clean, prices are moderate to expensive (but only if nonguild affiliated drinks are ordered on the sly, and only after the staff knows you or gains at least 50 gp in bribes), and the food is good.

A meeting place from sundown to sunup, it is famous for its safety and usefulness as neutral territory for all.

Should any weapons (beyond the clubs of the staff) flash free of scabbards or sheathes, the magical jambiya that hovers 40 feet above the court's central fountain flashes toward that weapon and magically absorbs it without fail. The jambiya then just as quickly returns to its normal position. Legend has it that the jambiya has no substance and is a portable hole with some modicum of in-telligence, and it has swallowed some mighty weapons such as the Beljureled Blade of Nazir Rabir, Samark the Staff of Screams, the Four Daggers of Delvenahr, and even Giisan the White Sash of Sorcerers.

City Building: Amlakkhan Taorahl

TD2, 3-story Class C building

Eraré Sabban; Taorahl Drudach. The luzas Tasyn el Fadaffed (CE hm dual F3/M5) gained this post early this year due to political maneuvers with the Nine Pashas trading coster and the sultan's vizar. A vicious and petty man whose military career ended in an ugly tavern brawl 11 years ago, Tasyn turned to learning magic and now revels in being a bully with far more power. About a third of his men follow his example and abuse their influence and power, while the others wait. Loyal soldiers all, they look forward to the day the attention of the sultan comes to bear on the corrupt yuzas.

[thelvadams]

TRANSFORMERS ONE (2024) • dir. Josh Cooley

[aestheticallynotdeerlightful]

Style swap- Invader Zim and Psychonauts

Cause I thought it would be fun and practice

.

(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me first thank you <3)

[deoidesign]

Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

[tiredyke]

every time queer discourse surges on this site everyone is so quick to jump to “it was actually the evil lesbians who divided us” because y’all heard the term “political lesbian” and never bothered to figure out what that meant

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.