#i guess they do still if it happens to comes up in their vids but still not the same

[thisdayindnphistory]

i can’t lie im kind of disappointed that the phagenda wasn’t a podcast. i am CRAVING d&p to be back and ingrained into pop culture the way they were at the bbc interviewing people left and right. like imagine the gay ass clips and the crazy stories that would float around on a regular basis right now if they did a podcast. im busy so watching a long gaming video is a luxury i rarely get nowadays but a phodcast? PLEASEEE

but they’ve toured 3 times already so they know it’s easy money and is bound to be successful so I respect them for chasing their bag i guess

[hearts4golbach]

waitttttt you could totally do something w the sam n colby vid w jake n johnnie, like were reader is with johnnie and you could do something like the clip of jake hugging johnnie??? if that makes sense 😭😭😭😭

Spooked!

pairing:

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

a/n:

this isn't going to follow the points of the ACTUAL video. this is all made up and never really happened.

warnings:

scary ig?? I don't know if it's that scary, but yk.

going on a trip with Jake, Johnnie, Sam, and Colby had been on your bucket list for a long time. whenever Jake came into your room and asked you if you wanted to go, you were ecstatic.

now you were there.

"what the fuck was that?" a bang from the other room echoed down the hallway. instinctively, you gripped onto Johnnies arm.

everyone's head flew to the corridor behind them. "Holy shit." Johnnie muttered.

Colby turned to Sam. "why don't we set up the rope thingy so whatever spirits are here can lead us to where they want us?" his evil smile said everything.

"good idea." sam turned back to you. "y/n, you still wanna do the estes method?"

you nodded carefully. "Yeah." Your grip on Johnnies arm loosened. "let's fucking do it."

Colby set up the rope, leading down the same hallway. "Now we wait."

"So, were gonna let these demons lead us to where they want us to go?" Jake spoke up. his hands were shoved in his pockets. he laughed. "they're going to fucking eat us alive or some shit."

sam pressed his hands together. "Probably."

"woah, what the fuck was that?" Johnnje pointed down the hall.

"What, what?" you asked frantically, looking towards where he was pointing.

"i- I don't know. I think my mind is fucking with me, I don't know." he brushed it off.

the rope went off, catching all of our attention. the lights slowly lit up one by one, leading down the hallway and stopping at room 513.

"let's go, I guess." Jake laughed nervously.

Johnnie began to cautiously walk down the hall, and you weren't far behind him. Jake, Colby, and Sam followed suit.

the door of room 513 creeked open eerily. a cold breeze hit your face, sending chills down your spine. "fuck." you muttered under your breath with an uneasy smile.

Johnnie rubbed your lower back. "You got this, y/n."

"Thank you. I'm excited as fuck, but nervous." your shoulders shrugged anxiously.

"Alright, let's get this shit set up." Colby dragged a miscellaneous chair from the corner of the room to the middle of the room.

"Why are you guys always sacrificing the girl?" The camera panned to jake.

"Hey, I volunteered. I used to binge watch these two daily, I've wanted to do this forever."

"they're using their ghost magic to get into your head." jake was trying extremely hard to hold back a laugh and keep his bit together.

Johnnie laughed. "Oh, for sure, jake."

Sam graciously handed you the blind fold. "ready to get started?"

you nodded cautiously before taking the blind fold and putting it on. eventually, headphones playing loud static were placed in your hand.

the next moments happened so fast.

'me.'

more static.

'stop.'

'not me.'

'him.'

'him!' the voice became louder.

static once again.

'I'm coming.'

'go.'

'evil.'

'extraordinary.'

static.

'i-' there was a pause.

'am.'

'move.'

'fire.'

'run.'

what sounded like a woman's laugh came through the static, sending shivers down your spine.

you began to bounce your leg anxiously. a hand net yours and held it gently. you knew it was johnnie as his cold rings pressed into your warm skin.

'him.'

pause.

'bad.'

'hell.'

'the door.'

there was a pause.

you felt johnnies hand shift after you said 'the door.' what was going on? you wondered.

'sam.'

'johnnie.'

pause.

'Leave.' you scrunched your nose as the deep voice rang through your ears.

'after.'

'y/n!' it was so loud, you felt as if your ear drums had bursted.

you ripped the headphones off your head and pulled off the blind fold. you were gripping Johnnies hand so tight your knuckles were turning white. "fuck," your shaky voice mumbled. you let out a laugh. "something, like, screamed my name in my ear." your fingernails were digging into Johnnies hand.

you stood up and wrapped your arms around his torso. he wrapped his arms around you gently and patted your back. "it's okay, y/n. don't worry."

"the ghosts won't get past these muscles." Jake flexed as he pursed his lips together.

johnnie rubbed your lower back. "holy fucking shit," you laughed, trying to play off how bad that actually scared you. johnnie could feel you trembling in his arms, and he didn't let go.

you cautiously pulled away from Johnnie. "so, what happened?"

sam began to explain. "of course, I asked if anyone was here with us, and you said 'me.'"

"and he asked whoever it was if they had died in this room and you were like 'no, stop, not me, him."

Johnnie wrapped his arm around your shoulder comfortingly. "I asked who we were talking to and you said 'I'm coming, evil and extraordinary.' there was something else I didn't catch."

"sam asked who's coming and you said 'i-' then paused for about 10 seconds. it was dead silent before you said 'am.' then you said 'run' and 'fire.'" Jake recollected.

"you randomly said him and I asked what he's going to do to us. you said 'hell, fire and the door.'"

"and 'bad.'" johnnie added.

"so, we turned towards the door then you started listing our names. you said after and then your own name and ripped the headphones off." Jake explained the rest.

you shook your head. "we need to get to Colby and tell him. I'm so fucking uncomfortable in here."

sam began to walk out of the door. "that was one of the clearest conversations we've ever gotten." he gushed excitedly.

"you can't make that shit up," you mumbled, still shaking your head in disbelief.

while you were under, it all seemed like gibberish to you. now it all made sense.

you gripped Johnnies hand tightly as you roamed around the halls to find Colby.

[iamasimperyk]

Hiiii can you do a valentines day fic with rafe x reader where she mames him a book of how they got together and how she felt using pages of her diary ?

Thank youuuuu

Ispo vid: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeBcyGCj/

Hii, I am so sorry that I didn’t finish your request yesterday but I had an English exam today and couldn’t write. I still hope you like what I have done with your request, even if it’s the 15th.💕

Be my Valentine

Warnings: Fluff, Not proof-read, English is not my first language

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

It was yours and Rafe's first Valentine's Day together, and you wanted to make him the most special gift he ever got.

For a few days, you worked on a little book. A book that should show Rafe how much you loved him. There were pictures, little notes, tickets from various occasions, and even a few pages of your diary.

Everything was perfect, and you couldn't wait to hand your present to your boyfriend.

————

Finally, it was February 14th. Rafe insisted on taking you out to a fancy restaurant. He even bought you a new dress with matching shoes. Just like all the other times, he spent so much money on you—too much money.

Suddenly, you felt a little embarrassed about the fact that all you had for him was a book.

"Thank you for the evening, Rafe, and all the gifts." You smiled up at him as the two of you entered your room.

"You deserve a lot more, princess." He kissed your lips, placing his hands on your waist before he pulled you towards him.

After a few minutes of making out, you took a step back, earning a frown from Rafe.

"I also have something for you. It didn't cost me a fortune, but I hope you like it." You mumbled shyly, taking the book out of your bedside table.

As you handed him the book, his eyes widened a little. No one ever took the time to make something so personal for him.

"Thank you, princess. Thank you so fucking much." His voice was slightly cracking.

"I love you," You smiled.

"I love you more." He answered, kissing you once again.

After you pulled away, you spoke quickly, "Open the book. I want to see your reaction."

"Always so impatient." He chuckled before he finally opened the book you made him with all the love you could give.

Dear, Diary June 6th

I met a boy today, his name is Rafe. He was quite nice to me, but I know what people on the island say about him. They say he is a psycho, but I don't know if I should believe such rumors. It doesn't matter anyway. I will probably never talk to him again.

Love, Y/n

That was the first entry you ever made about him, and he couldn't help but smile. He thanked the universe every day that he got you in his life.

Then he looked at all the pages that were covered with little notes he gave you, pictures of the two of you, and all sorts of memorabilia.

He smiled to himself and started to read the next diary entries.

Dear Diary, August 20th

I am going on a date with Rafe. I can't believe it. Me, Y/n, going on a date with the famous Rafe Cameron. I am so excited. He said he would take me to the mainland. I have never been there, but I am sure it's awesome.

See you soon, Y/n

Dear Diary, August 23rd

The date was amazing. Rafe took me to an expensive restaurant, even if I told him not to spend so much money on me. I guess Rafe is a little stubborn when it comes to that.

Love, Y/n

Dear diary, September 2nd

Oh my god. I just had my first kiss with Rafe fucking Cameron. I am so happy right now. We were at the beach, watched the sunset, and then it just happened.

Y/n

Dear Diary, October 30th

Rafe and I are officially together now. Yesterday, I met his family. They were really nice to me, I hope they like me. After we went to bed that day, I suddenly heard him whisper, 'I love you'. He still thinks I was asleep, but I heard it. I think I love him too.

Love Y/n

"You heard that?" He chuckled, shaking his head.

You couldn't help but smile, "I could never miss one of your 'I love you's."

[roronoagem]

Maybe this would be better? What about Law finding out his SO was forced to eat a devil fruit. She hadn't told anyone and it was only made obvious after she fell overboard and couldn't swim. Maybe she had talked about her previous love for swimming, but no one caught on that it was something she couldn't do anymore.

characters: trafalgar d. water law

content warnings: gn!reader, law feels a bit betrayed lol, reader almost drowned, & very slight argument.

a/n: shitting my pants rn bc i met law in the anime a couple of times & my knowledge is based on vids & his wiki 😭 i’m scared to write him so out of character, please don’t come at me if it’s nothing like law i beg you . . . i’m gonna jump bye !

let’s start with you speaking about how much you loved swimming, how much you loved going to the beach.

everyone on the polar tang knew about it, but they were totally oblivious that you couldn’t do it anymore due to your devil fruit.

not even your captain knew about this.

and he didn’t know you had the powers of a devil fruit, in the first place.

and when you fell right into the water and your head didn’t pop out of the water, bepo started to panic.

“CAPTAIN!” bepo was running from side to side searching for law. “[y/n]..!”

that’s when law appeared and noticed your absence, trying to get the polar bear to explain the situation.

when shachi finally pulled you out of the water, after he jumped in to search for you, you were almost passed out. law felt a hint of panic at the sight because well… it didn’t make much sense from what the bear said.

did you hit your head? did something underwater attacked you? could it be that you got so scared you passed out?

impossible. he knew you too well, you wouldn’t get scared just because you fell into the water, it was calm enough to be able to swim too.

when you finally opened your eyes and started coughing water, law felt relief fill his chest. he checked your pulse and body temperature, make sure you were breathing properly. he wrapped you in a blanket as you were completely soaked.

you felt a bit dizzy, unable to focus on whatever was surrounding you. “[y/n]! i’m so glad you’re okay! i’m sorry!” bepo started to apologise because he stood there panicking instead of taking action, but you weren’t mad at him.

“it’s okay… don’t worry,” you were able to say before meeting law’s hard gaze. you shivered, because he seemed unhappy somehow. “we need to talk,” that’s all he said.

you ended up in his office, he finished checking you up just to be sure you were truly okay. he didn’t say much while doing so, which caused the tension between you two to grow.

“say something,” you gave in before law. it was tiring, to say the least. he was avoiding your eyes too. what the hell?

“you almost drowned,” he said then, tone obvious. but he still was avoiding you. “but i’m here now,” you answered back.

law took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to not snap at you. “you were drowning,” he repeated, finally meeting your gaze. “but i’m alive!”

“what happened?” his tone was cold, he was treating you like any other patient. “i fell in the water, shachi pulled me out. that’s all,” you tried to sound as confident as possible, protecting your secret. “you know what doesn’t sound right to me?” law tilted his head to the side, “you talking every second about how much you love swimming, you love the sea, the ocean, and then this happens!”

of course he finally snapped. law is not a dumb man, he knows everything about everyone in his crew — he has to. it was clear you were avoiding telling him something important, and this was making him feel both angry but also hurt… did you not trust him enough?

“i-i forgot how to do that, i guess??” you responded, trying to make him let go of the subject. “you like it so much but you forget how to do that? how is it that i’ve never seen you get too close to the water since you joined this crew, huh?”

so he had noticed. he knew that it didn’t make sense but he never found the right moment to bring this up. but now…

“you’re the one avoiding it in the first place,” you retorted, as if putting him under the spotlight for a second would help you win the argument. “yes, because i ate a devil fruit and–”

when law paused, you noticed realisation spreading all over his expression. he found the missing piece of the puzzle. you ate a devil fruit too.

“why?” as he said that you couldn’t bare to look at him anymore, his tone showed that he felt betrayed by you for not telling him such important information. “[y/n]-ya… look at me,” law took a step closer.

“i was forced to eat it! i didn’t want to do that! i-i genuinely loved the ocean, swimming, these weren’t lies! but…”

when you started sobbing, law moved closer and gently cupped your cheeks. you met his gaze and noticed that he wasn’t angry anymore, he was trying to comfort you the best he could. “i know this is something you’re not proud of, but this information is vital. i needed to know that you ate a devil fruit because it could put your life in danger, just like today. i’d never judge you for it,” he tried to reassure you.

you felt relieved, you wiped your cheeks and then leaned closer to hug him. he caressed your back gently and let you stay like that for as much as you needed.

“i’m sorry,” you then murmured, sighing. “you’re alive and that’s all that matters to me,” law’s tone was firm, he held you a bit tighter for a second. you smiled at his words, words full of his love for you.

[yonpote]

mr. pote please explain shoe ig story for the ignorant (me)

not much to explain other than. dan posted an instagram story of their shoes pressed together

ok i guess ill share a LITTLE context. around late january to early february 2023 was when dan was having a mini-break from touring for philly's bday before he had to hit the road for the non-uk european shows. the thing is, there were kind of a lot of complications happening wrt tickets, especially problems surrounding the iceland show, which dan had hyped up as where he was going to end the tour, and pj even mentioned on stream that he and sophie would possibly meet dan and phil there and have essentially a double date holiday! the day before the Shoe Pic, dan had announced that the iceland show was cancelled. he posted the cancellation on his story in icelandic, here is the english translation:

Sorry for the frozen people. Couldn't bring this show to your island this trip, that's all I can say for now. It's on my bucket list to be with you one day. I'll see you then.

he then posted an ig story where he seemed to be out on a walk that was quite self-deprecating on the fact that no one takes him seriously "in life, business, or the industry." it was just a bummer day for dan. so a few twitter phannies (back when there was a Little peace) thought to make an encouraging hashtag for dan, #weloveyoudan to show some appreciation for him when he really seemed to need it! (this also spawned an in-joke hashtag my good friend @editingz0ne made, #giveamazingphilnukes, that phil tweeted about 💀)

so the next day, when dnp had both posted while at an apex legends esports competition thing, we all kinda inferred that this was a lil date, possibly as another phil bday present (still his bday week) or as a lil gift to cheer dan up, or both! and then. he posted the fuckin shoe pic.

listen. idk how to explain it. it just. felt like something so weirdly intimate? like, no idea what the context is, other than theyre sitting in the back of a cab and took a photo of their shoes pressed together. and like one is clearly phil's shoe and the other clearly dan's shoe, and i assume theyre the same shoe size (do not tell me wikifeet ppl i dont need to know) and so they just. fit perfectly together. and all this was after the harrowing previous day, and after all that dan just decided to let us in on this picture that is so silly and not really anything and yet feels so personal? its like when we hear their alien language in the texting vids, or that they get fries every saturday and call it "fry-day". like its not a bit its not playing up a dynamic for a camera its just. THEM! its just them!!!!!!!! anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk on the dan and phil shoe photo taken on february 5th, 2023 by dan howell.

[thewintercorner]

guess who's back to yap about vitalasy!

looking so deeply at s2 recently got me back onto the worldender and cycles analysis grind but from a different perspective and ohhh man has that been fruitful

i've always had this feeling about vitalasy that he got the cycles but didn't Get them. he saw the cycles, could identify them as they were happening, but didn't understand why -- except he did seem to understand why? okay, so maybe he gets why but he doesn't get enough of the indomitability of that why to know it's impossible to overcome it. except he knows when to give up. and he knows when the big sacrifices are necessary and effective. and--

point is, i always had this weird dissonance about vitalasy that i couldn't ever really overcome. for pretty much all of the time i've watched lifesteal, i've operated off of an assumption that reckoning with the cycles, understanding them, would inevitably lead a player to become a worldender. in my mind, there was no world in which a player saw their world for what it was - constantly decaying, dying from the moment it comes into existence - and doesn't then seek to put it out of its misery as quickly as they can.

and yet, there was vitalasy. there was this player that fought so hard against the end of the world, and yet seemed to understand on some deep level that there was only so much he could do. here was this player that started preparing to fight decimation almost as soon as he learnt their name. here was this player, ever self-sacrificial, who always seemed to know exactly when and what to sacrifice to let the server live on.

he acted with such calculation and talked about the server in a way that clearly spoke to at least some understanding of the cycles -- certainly much more than the average player, at least, especially in season 3. and yet, he wasn't a worldender - and yet, he fought to save it, over and over again. why the anomaly?

then, i watched spoke's s2 video again, and something about worldending clicked. the thing about worldending is that it is a wildly selfless task. to end the world, you must be willing to give up everything you have ever cared about, everything you have ever loved, in pursuit of a more graceful end to the world that it would give itself. and it's not just giving up; you have to be willing to kill, to annihilate all those things. it is selfless destruction of your entire existence. nothing you care about can remain.

it raises a question: where's the compassion? where's the room for it, for humanity, in an act like that? the answer, i think, is simple: there really isn't any.

turn back to vitalasy. here is this player, this person, with so much love to give that it seems to spill out of his heart at every opportunity. vitalasy loves fiercely, loves his friends and his home and his server. he loves all of it so much i couldn't imagine him ever ending the world.

worldending is selfless. selflessness is a choice one has to make. therefore, is there not another choice? can one not choose instead to be selfish?

im going to start quoting the original flow of thoughts (written in the back of my linguistics notebook; i loveee not paying attention in class) here, because i think i wrote it better then than i could rephrase it now:

"perhaps there is another option: to be selfish. to reckon with the cycles and the inevitable decay, to look in the eyes of death and still choose your friends. to foresee the apocalypse is not to accept it; by many moral codes, it would be a an act of monumental apathy to sit back and idly watch - or worse yet, fight to accelerate - the end of the world as you've seen it. understanding the cycles is a predisposition, not the diagnosis. to quote jacob geller (go watch his vids if you haven't!!), some people can more easily imagine learning to die that learning to fight. in the context of lifesteal, it's understandable. but amongst the war and fire, there is still love. vi loves fiercely, vibrantly, stubbornly. of course he is going to fight. of course he will use the reckoning to understand how best to fight the cycles. yes, they are inevitable. yes, he fights for an infinite end, an eternal battle. is an extra day of loving not worth it? he claws moment from the death grip of the reality he exists in because the love is worth it. the sacrifices he makes are worth it because he's buying them more time. the world is cruel, but he refuses to be part of the cruelty."

tl;dr: the other option is to let the love win over the despair, to fight to live instead of fighting to die.

this is what vitalasy does. in knowing the cycles, he turns himself into a more effective weapon against them. he's self-sacrificial to a fault, but it becomes an advantage when he uses that to take the moral cost, take the heart cost, to take his entire life and fight the fight that no one else is ready to touch. vitalasy is so often villianized because he uses the same methods as the bad guys; the part people miss is that he uses their techniques against them. yes, he dupes in s4; how else are they meant to fight the other dupers when the end the world? yes, he feeds one more death to decimation in his sacrifice at the end of s3 -- because it lets six others get revived.

there is not only dread. in the darkness, there is light. vitalasy just eluded me for so long because he was the first to see it.

(there is a whole other discussion to be had on the implications of this on oath!zam, especially in light of recent events. i plan to write a companion post to this sometime soon going through all of those :))

[monamoobona]

If we're still talking about Wilbur and his biting habit and - according to Shubble - how much he bites her "Every one of our shared friends saw him do it, he did it in front of everyone. He did it in front of his family, his friends, my friends, everybody." (paraphrased)

Then in Jack Manifold statement or response, didn't he say or claimed that he never or did not see Wilbur's abusive behavior or any of the behaviors? Isn't Jack one of the people who knew Wilbur the longest (since Soot House, I believe) and I highly doubt he would lie or cover for Wilbur with these kinds of accusations against him.

Also, I want to ask, Shubble also said that he switched to biting her legs after some time and am I the only one a bit confused on how he would bite her legs?

Because your legs are always under you if that makes sense. You'd either have to bend down or left them up which would seem very awkward to do and if you are sitting somewhere there are most likely going to be under something like table or desk (or at least a part of them is) which I assume would make it difficult to bite them. Not to mention they'd also be covered up (like with pants, leggings, fishnets, long socks or skirts) and a shirt or jacket sleeve is much easier to pull up or down then say a pants leg, leggings or long socks are - I'm not saying it is impossible to do, I am saying that it seems hard to do constantly or/and consistently.

Agreed and in a later stream jack said something along the lines of “I never seen him do that but I guess I didn’t notice” or something like that the one vid I keep mentioning is this one where she says they we’re out somewhere with friend and he grabbed her wrist and bite her in front of everyone. Which has been leading me back to my main point on why has no one come forward and said they’ve seen that happen or mention at least and I’ll look to see if I can find the vid later where she says it

[maxwellatoms]

as a person on the inside of the animation industry, are there signs that we might be heading to another dark age of animation like the 1980s (e.g. animation is regulated to just glorified toy commercials or dark fantasy movies)?

"Kid Vid" regulations mean you can't advertise for stuff kids might buy from within a show anymore. Generally, you can't even have (say) Yogi Bear wearing a shirt with his best friend BooBoo's face on it as a gag, because "what if someone made that shirt one day?" Then it would be a retroactive ad, I guess? I'm not schooled in reverse-time law like studio lawyers, so I can't really say. Still, it's almost impossible to get even a fictional product into a kid's show these days, so I think the 1980s will probably stay in their timeline. At least in that way.

I do think a bit of a "Dark Age" is upon us, though. Maybe just a small one. Just a wee little snip of a Dark Age is all.

As far as I can glean, there are going to be precious few animated shows coming out over the next couple of years because not much was picked up during the pandemic. There are only a few things being developed here and there, and I'd wager that those properties "win" simply by existing in a competition-free environment. It takes a long time to produce animation, so almost anything greenlit right now is looking at a full year for turnaround. If you talk to people in the industry right now about jobs, they use words like "wastelend" and "ramen noodles".

Then you've got A.I., of course. The other night I was having dinner with a friend and I found myself in the A.I. conversation I always imagined myself having one day-- the one where we're talking with some immediacy about what the rest of our futures look like as artists, because we know they're not going to look the same ever again. It was pretty cool in a William Gibson sort of way, but I honestly didn't expect to be having that conversation for another decade. Turns out A.I. is becoming a problem right now.

I've already talked about the "art theft" angle, and that's not the problem I'm speaking about here. The problem I'm talking about is the "what do I do when what I do becomes trivial?" problem. If anyone can make a TV show or movie in a week or a day using AI assistance, who determines what gets seen? Networks, I'd imagine, would become redundant. You don't need to fork over $15 a month for Netflix if you can make Netflix-quality content yourself. And if you can't make anything decent even with A.I. assistance, surely someone on the internet can. There would be an incredible glut of content to choose from, so again... who decides what gets seen? An algorithm, probably. Who owns the algorithm?

Peak Dark Age will be the time period when the networks realize that they're going to die, and sink all of their resources into forcing their own survival on the rest of us. I imagine massive layoffs (you don't need multiple writers or artists or support staff when you've got the right tools.) Studios will want to own the tools (of course) and/or suppress the use of those tools by anyone who might want to cut into their profits. Expect to see "A.I. is just too dangerous for the public to utilize, so it needs to be left in the capable hands of corporations". Expect to see customizable Batmans, the ability to put your mom in any Star Wars, and the serialized fever-dreams of billionaires.

I think that's the next 5-10 years. And while that's happening, the tools will keep getting better and better until literally anyone can sit down, ask for an Oscar-worthy part-rom-com/part action movie starring a twenty-five year old Steve McQueen and and eighty year old Daniel Radcliffe rescuing Air Bud from the Death Star, and then watch the resulting film with some degree of satisfaction. There'll come a point when content of any visual, auditory, and written complexity can be generated on-the-fly, and the traditional limits of budgets and schedules will just be gone.

It's easy to spin off into fantasy and try to guess exactly what's coming. I could probably spin on that all day. But what I know is that the future of the animation industry won't look anything like what I've become accustomed to. And maybe that's okay because what I've become accustomed to looks nothing like the industry I started in. Things change, and you roll with the punches. Thanks to the self-fulfilling dystopian prophecy we find ourselves in, just about everyone on the planet is finding themselves rolling with the punches coming from the Powerful Greedy. That's less a "me problem" and more a planet-wide problem we should probably all sit down and hash out, like, yesterday.

My immediate problem as an artist (and yours if you're an artist too) is figuring out how to get your ideas seen in a world where the amount of entertainment content is exploding exponentially. Especially if you're the sort of artist who needs to eat and live somewhere.

So yeah, I think there's going to be just a little peppering of Dark Age coming up. But in every time of change, there are opportunities. Hey, I'm down for an animated Dark Fantasy movie. Let's do this!

[pharawee]

Star Hunter's line-up for 2023 (and 2024) was exactly what they'd previously announced and tbh that made sitting through the whole thing actually quite enjoyable and to the point - even if I had to watch the livestream on facebook (apparently it's on youtube too but it's on madan.fun's channel so I didn't know until later).

Now Star Hunter is slowly uploading the pilots for the 5 new series and 2 movies they announced and I've had some time to make up my mind about them.

TRUE MOON | เดือนหลงเดือน 

Star Hunter wouldn't be Star Hunter without their uni BL and campus moons, so this is probably as straightforward as it gets: Poor boy hates rich boy but then they fall in love and have to overcome many obstacles. Personally, I'll never get tired of uni BL so I'm ok with this.

CITY OF STARS | เฟื่องนคร 

Star Hunter has unlocked a new trope: actor/manager BL - but this one comes with a twist: While one of them is an actor, the other guy has been tasked to... tbh I'm not even sure because the subs on the livestream were wonky and they're missing in the yt vid. The other one's a programmer for an app and apparently the actor's so famous that he breaks the app so the programmer gets sent to Thailand for few months (he's the only Thai dude in the whole company, you see) to somehow fix the problem. Oh, but also the actor is his neighbour? And then his manager gets sick so the programmer has to step in. Love ensues. Sounds good, I'm in.

SUNSET VIBES | เพียงชลาลัย

This is the new mosbank series we've been waiting for, and from the whole presentation it's clear that mosbank is now Star Hunter's new main attraction. The series itself is really intriguing. For one, it's beautifully filmed, with beautiful and almost traditional-sounding background music. It starts with a one-night-stand that quickly turns into "oops I got railed by my new boss the night before I started my internship" - but there's a mystery twist right at the end. According to what Mos said during the short presentation it's got something to do with Isan (Northeast Thailand) folklore and possibly past lives so this is going to be really good (I am completely unbiased of course).

BIG DRAGON THE MOVIE

I'm still not sure if this is replacing season 2 or a movie cut of the first season with extra scenes. My Thai is limited and all I know is that season 2 was mentioned (and Tao's actor was there). But anyway, the movie seems to expand on what happens in season 1, with a couple of extra scenes set in the past and the future, so even if we don't get a season 2 this is still going to be a treat.

FLIRT MILK | รักรสนมจืด

Ok so this one could be Star Hunter's wild card. It's a cute and chaotic BL set at (where else) university. Awkward boy meets another awkward boy and they're super different but obviously attracted to each other. But because they're so different they individually decide to change for their crush. Well, personally I hope they change back because they're really cute the way they are and also there's a severe lack of glasses in Thai BL.

ACADEX THE MOVIE

This is not a BL but it might have BL elements, I guess? Idk, the trailer didn't come with subs. From what I could gather the genre is young adult set in some kind of magical school with different houses and some sort of competition. ISBANKY is in this and tbh he's the main reason why I'm even interested in this.

LOVE SENIOR | พี่ว้ากคะ รักหนูได้มั้ย 

I was right! This is the GL version of GEN Y that you've been waiting for. It has cute engineering students! It has freshie contests! It has freshie week hazing rituals! It has cute girls in red engineering shirts that kiss! It has strict seniors falling in love with extremely cute freshies. And it probably has lots of unnecessary drama too, just for good measure.

[theheromira]

Nimona appreciation post (Part 3 of idk even know how many)

Hi guys, I'm back with Part 3. Sorry about the delay, I tend to procrastinate even if something has to do with my newest hyperfixation lol (Pic for attention, like always lol)

at the beginning he says to Amb that he's not brooding and now he tells Nimona that "Knights don't mope, they brood."

"Murder him, murdder her, murder everyone!" aaand there is Amb standing int the door and Bals pose XD

Amb lil smile when he sees Bal. He probably thought that he killed Bal and seems glas that he's not

Also him just looking at Bals arm

Nimonas lil "Gesundheit" is way better in the english version ngl

Nemesis 😈

"Oh, look! It's Gloreth!" and the knights behind them actually look in the direction she pointed at

Amb acting like he was about to draw his sword and looking like they just caught him doing something forbidden like I don't even know

Bals almost defeated face at the beginning of the closet scene

Nimona just casually ripping that pipe out of the wall

Bals hamster cheeks when she grabs his face

that die-in-the-closet-dialogue felt very strange to me but I still don't completely understand how people can hate people who have a different orientation than them (sexual or not, I don't know how to say that exactly but I hope you kinda understand me?). There shouldn't be a problem about dying in a closet in real life and I really understand why people are so close-minded and this is still happening, I guess. Why does this "kids movie" motivate me to think about this kind of issue so much? But I guess it's a good thing, I'm probably/definitely not the only one who watched Nimona and really started to think about this (and the other themes of this movie)

also Nimona literally coming out of the closet (as a shape-shifter) is like really nice, I love little things like that in movies that you maybe not even register at first

I like to think that the axe opening the door is a little "Shining" reference

Nimona casually catching the arrow before her face

Bal being the competent idiot that he is grabbing the first thing his hand finds to use as a weapon without even looking

"Even if you see the horn?"

"I will not freak… Uhhh" with that face XD

I just looove her line "This is the part where you run.", how she looks at the knights and how they start to panic

Bals face while getting out of the closet is like: What the everloving hell did just happen/is just happening?

"Yeah" "Oh no! Stay away! Get back! No! This is not happening!" XD

Amb just being bamboozled and proving that he's at least a bit of a Nerd (who other then a Nerd or a Zoologist would call a Rhino by it's full name)

"Leave that guy alone!" "Take that" bonks him away with her horn lol, they are such a good duo

Stairs are either your best friend (Nimona seemingly) or your worst enemy (Kungfu Panda)

Bal just being completely like a fish out of water by what is happening during that chase is also kinda hilarious

Also him still having the brain to tell her she needs to go right in all of this mayhem is very competent of him, I stan him just a bit ngl

the whale

hey def needed a meeting table that round, they are a kingdom of knights

loving that Todd gets the tiny d*** joke, one of the best jokes in the movie and this movie has a lot of good ones

THE MUSIC <3

Now he wants the staircase, Bal really should make up his mind XD

I'm a bit sad that the original BlueSky-Scene where she changes into a dragon didn't make it in there but this is also fine, I guess

How did Bal survive that fall?

also loving how he just slides the last few metres face down lol

Nimona looking at Bal before she says her "Something, something, something, we win." was kinda cute

Explosions! "Metal" Also: stuff like this reminds me of a kind of old scetch from a comedian (I know the guy from some youtube vids of different poetry slams but he is a comedian now) I like pertaining bear catapults (I def will get myself some tickets if he ever does a show near me, the guy is hilarious)

Bal looking kinda chill (he prob has a concussion and isn't quite there, I guess) at the different things that fly towards them and then focusing on that little bit of debris that knocks him out (and the sound he makes when he gets hit) lol

Sooo, that was it for part 3. Short I know, but I think I will try to get these posts out and ngl my attention span is a bit short at the moment… with this kind of post thats more on the short site I believe I can stay on the topic and not procrastinate that much. Maybe there will also be some longer ones inbetween, we will see. Have a good one guys ^^

[whatsyourcolor]

Psycho-Pass Providence - My thoughts

Hello everyone, yesterday @jediofbooksandsnacks and I went to watch Psycho-Pass Providence. We went to watch the dubbed version which got cancelled, so we ended up watching the subbed version.

Here are my thoughts about the movie:

(SPOILERS)

The Plot I had already watched the movie in Japan without understanding a lick of dialogue. Some things were inferred from what was happening, but dear lord, with an anime like Psycho-Pass, you really need subtitles if you want to understand what's happening.

There's a lot of plot, but below is the basic gist. In fact, there are things I still don't understand. I may have to rewatch it to fully grasp some things. Basic plot is the MOFA was fucking around abroad and they found out. It's this ministry that created the Peacebreakers who got out of control and turned against the ministry and against Japan. One of these guys has a device called a "Divider" which when implanted in someone's brain causes them to be possessed and easily manipulated. It's called a divider because it splits the animalistic from the rational in the human mind. The villain (Tomami, I think was his name?) utilizes religious frenzy (lots of interesting quotations from the Bible) and the divider to control other peacebreakers. His aim is to declare his own rudimentary Sibyl system in the Kuril Islands at the North of Japan. To fully succeed, he needs the Stroyanka papers, which --from what I understood-- outlines the weaknesses of the Sibyl system and apparently can end wars or make them worse. I guess they are some type of predictive device, like a war AI that can analyze circumstances and tell you what to do in order to win or destroy an enemy.

The Stroyanka papers are somewhere in Dejima, which is where they hold all refugees who have not passed an immigration exam. This is where Maiko and Kei live in Providence. The only person who can open them, supposedly, is Saiga Joji. So off go the SAD and parts of Division 1 (Akane, Gino and Sugo) with Saiga to retrieve the papers.

The Call I really loved the dialogue between Kogami and Saiga when they're alone and begin talking about the case and quoting the Bible. Religion and Gods seem to be the theme of Providence, which is apt, since Providence is such a biblical word.

Kogami tells Saiga that him being a hermit reminds him of St. John and then reproaches him a little about working with the MWPSB. I love that Saiga tells him he is working with Tsunemori Akane. I simply adore how much Saiga dotes on Akane and how much she's definitely his favorite from all his students (take that, Kogami and Frederica).

Saiga warns Kogami about being nothing more than a killing machine. He tells him that it's up to him to be more than that and tells him that Akane is not a saint or a buddha and that he should apologize while he got the chance.

So Kogami makes the call and is unable to apologize. The next day Saiga takes a quick look at Akane and tells Kogami something along the lines of: "So you couldn't do it, huh?" to which Kogami replies "I don't know what you mean." Kogami comes off not only as a coward but as a stubborn mule who pretends not to know what Saiga is referring to. Maybe he doesn't like Saiga prying in their relationship. But I do think Saiga knows (I mean, he's Saiga) that their bond is important to the two of them.

Here's the vid of the call:

Kogami: "I've killed hundreds of men, walked seven countries by foot, raised a little girl for a month, starved in the wilderness, survived millions of explosions, but somehow telling this cute woman to forgive me for all the shit I have caused is the most difficult thing I have had to do."

The SAD Sucks The minister of foreign affairs and Frederica know that the papers are not in Dejima, but they go on this mission to use Saiga as bait to bring out all the Peacebreakers. Once they are there and Saiga opens the box only to find a cracked mirror, Frederica lets them know the truth and promises to protect Saiga's life. I love Kogami telling her: "So you would lie to the professor?" Frederica makes a face of contrition like "I'm soooorry guysss." But I like that Kogami calls her out. It makes me think their relationship is closer than that of boss and rabid killing dog.

Well, that doesn't go as planned. Apparently, the strategy of MOFA and Arata Shindo is to leak intelligence to follow the steps of the Peacebreakers and I guess predict their next move? Either way, it was a messy mission that ends up with Saiga dying, Akane broken down, and a lot of dead SAD men. Akane complains to Frederica and Kogami says that blaming Frederica won't fix anything (like man, let my girl rant because your team lied to her and got her father figure killed).

There's a scene with Kogami and Akane in an elevator where she's crying and angry. She blames herself for bringing Saiga out there to die. Kogami tells her that anger is fine, but that now is not the moment. That they need to complete the mission and then she can cry. She agrees, wipes her tears and follows him.

Akane's First Date This is a little bit of a joke, but Arata Shindo tells Akane to come with him to Kei and Maiko's wedding. I swear to god this is probably the closest thing Akane has had to a date. So yeah, Akane's first date is with Arata's dad and he ends up killing himself after giving a speech, so I guess... horrible first date? Lol.

On a serious note, he probably invites her because he knows he's going to kill himself. Chief Kasei gave him a gun, thanked him for his service, told him to put two and two together while waggling her eyebrows implying "time to take yourself out."

Kogami and Akane's Boring "Platonic" Relationship Many things happen, but at the end Akane gets shot twice by Tomami, then they end up debating why the law is important. On the crucial moment when he's about to kill her, Kogami shoots him down and says that he agrees with the dude he just killed. The law is not necessary and that basically, humans suck and are horrible. He tells her: "But I believe in you, who's trying to do the right thing."

So Akane recovers and Kogami goes to jail. She tells the Sibyl system that she'll take Arata Shindo's place as a politician and in her exit ceremony shoots Chief Kasei in front of everyone. She's sent to jail and Kogami comes out. Then, finally, once she's done what she had to do, Akane can fully cry.

I was telling Jedi that it bothers me how emotionless Kogami is throughout this whole thing. In the PP Movie their encounter was so intense, from them fighting, to not being able to sleep because there were too many questions, too many things to be said. Akane had grown and learned from him. He observes her, he's curious about her, he wonders what she thinks about him. It bothers him that she compares him to Makishima and is about to open up when she tells him that he would never try to control anyone's heart. If you are expecting frank moments like that in Providence, you won't get them. But for some reason, when you have dreamed so much of these two together, finally seeing them in the same place is exciting and I can't deny I left the theater a little high on shinkane. Kogami looks absolutely hot and Akane looks beautiful in many scenes.

Gino is Hot This one is obvious, but it needs to be said: Gino is hot. Passionate, sensitive, loyal team player. He saves Sugo, he saves Frederica, he consoles Akane, he thanks Mika when she gives him an obscene dominator. He yells at Kogami. He forgives Kogami. He wants to see Kogami regret what he did like Akane does. He gets a little bit further than Akane in that aspect.

I think at some point they try to play off Kogami and Frederica, and Ginoza and Frederica. Maybe they're showing that they would both work well with her. In our perverted fandom's mind I'm sure we're all thinking these professional agents would probably sleep with each other no feelings involved.

Frederica Has the Hots for Her Boss This is my own view, but the few times Frederica shows emotion is when it comes to the Minister of Foreign Affairs. She really appreciates him. At some point he's kidnapped and tortured by Tomami. When they rescue him (or rather, when Akira brings him to them), she's more concerned with his health than with Akira's statement which she assigns to Kogami. When the minister gets "possessed" and breaks down, she's locked in an elevator or a room, banging her fists against the door helplessly. I can't recall if she cries. But she wasn't crying when Saiga died, lol.

Final Verdict I think Psycho-Pass Providence was a good movie. Definitely better than Season 3 and First Inspector. This is a piece of media that I can respect. It's not great, it's not fantastic. It's more of the same in many aspects, it doesn't advance some things, but at least it doesn't feel cartoonish and stupid at points. Seems like the writers are definitely sticking to their strategy of showing explosions, fights and larger and less practical guns instead of writing an emotional buildup to the dramatic beats. The dominator has always been cool. They overdo these new dominators, making them look ridiculous and impractical.

However, Akane shooting Chief Kasei to get back at the system, exposing the contradictions of Sybil and forcing the public to wonder why her hue is clear when she shot someone in front of everyone, is pretty badass. She's willing to pay the price for what she did and goes to jail. Kogami promises that he'll do anything he can to get her out of there. Mister, where was all this resolve when you had the time and space to talk to her? He just doesn't learn. Ugh.

Either way, we know why Akane did what she did, but the interesting thing is that in the world of Season 3 nothing much has changed. Did Akane go to jail for three years for nothing? If there's a new season, I hope that she has at least inspired other people to question the system. Who knows. The writers seem stuck on their ambiguity in regards to everything.

4/5

[baejax-the-great]

tell us about pillow talk I beg!!!!

Pillow talk is a Mass Effect WIP that I swear I am going to update one day for real. I have like four half-chapters that every once in a while I add a couple sentences to. Here's part of one:

“Researching something?” Shepard asked, peering through the glass case over her desk down to Garrus below on the sofa.

Garrus cursed under his breath. It was impossible to know how much she saw on his datapad over his shoulder. Lying was too much of a liability for getting rightfully roasted, and there was no telling that EDI would keep his secrets. He might as well show it to her, even if it made him feel like an idiot. After half an hour of searching, it was becoming clear the entirety of Citadel knowledge could not solve this particular mystery.

Shepard walked around to stand in front of him, wrapped only in a towel after her shower, and he handed the datapad to her.

“Human circadian vocal variations,” she read out loud, sounding unimpressed. “Is someone talking weird? Do I talk in my sleep? Or wait, do I snore?”

“Nah. Well, not that I’ve noticed. You’d have to actually sleep for me to hear anything. What I have noticed is that sometimes at night, your voice sounds different. I thought it was a translator glitch, but it only happens at night.”

Nadia grinned, tossing the datapad to her coffee table. “At night? Or specifically when we’re in my cabin?”

“Huh. I guess… in your cabin.” It had never happened in the field. Or on missions or on shore leave. In fact, it had only ever occurred when they were alone. Was it some sort of human mating thing? A different voice only for their lover? He was almost flattered, but that would have come up in one of those romantic vids Tali had sent him, probably. Unless it was too personal to include…

Nadia was still smiling, even bigger now. She had already figured it out, and she didn’t look too upset he had noticed whatever this was. “What do I sound like?”

“Hm. It’s like you have a different accent, I guess. During the day, you sound like you are from my area of Palaven. The capital.”

“And right now?”

“An area that’s pretty far east of where I was born, somewhat north.”

Shepard had already pulled up a map of Palaven on her own omnitool, and Garrus pointed at the region.

“What are they known for over there?”

“A spicy fish stew and really boring music.”

“Huh. Anyone else on the crew sound have a different Palaven accent?”

“Kasumi and Chakwas. Oh, and Miranda.”

“Show me.”

They dropped pins across the map, and Shepard nodded at each one, like it was just where she suspected.

“It looks like whoever made your translation software decided to overlay a map of Earth onto Palaven with the Alliance HQ on top of your capital and just assign accents from there. Of course, Australia looks to be in the middle of an ocean, so they had to adjust earth continents for it… huh. You said my night time accent was here?”

“Yeah.”

“I definitely don’t sound like I’m from here?” Nadia pointed at a completely different region.

“Almost nobody lives on those islands, but no.”

“My father would be rolling in his grave if he had one.”

“You gonna enlighten me anytime soon, Shep? I’ve been awfully patient here.”

“The official language of the Alliance is English. It originated here” –her finger pointed to a sparsely populated region on Palaven and a small island on Earth— “And that is the accent Chakwas has. My accent is standard to here, North America, but English is not my first language.”

“I’ve heard that Earth has an unusually high number of languages.”

“Yeah. Someone told me that before globalization you could go five kilometers in any direction and find people finding a different one. Don’t know if that’s true. I grew up on Mindoir, though, and our entire colony was French-speaking. I haven’t had any reason to speak it in a long time, but I realized in here, with you, there was no reason not to when we already relied on the translator.”

“So when we’re alone—”

“I speak French, which comes from here, France, which is where my mother was born. My father was from here” –she pointed to the sparsely populated islands north of Palaven. “He would be very disappointed to learn I sounded more French than French Canadian. He tried very hard to make sure I used their slang and variations over my mother’s. I wonder if it’s a limitation of the software.”  

[tame-a-messenger]

Ok so as someone who started watching smosh bc of Angela and starkid I gotta know… what are your top three favorite starkid shows?? 👀

Lord! That’s like having to choose between my babies!

Obviously I have a few favorite kids, So here’s the run down,

I remember I had just watched the Snape Snape Severus Snape muppet vid and got AVPM recommended to me and decided, “heck it, sure” (I was just starting my redescent into the Harry Potter fandom) and clicked. Ended up loving it and watching AVPSY and so forth. When I finished I got curious to see what else they had (I had read some comments suggesting they had other musicals) so I checked out the channel and saw they were planning on releasing a new musical soon, “The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals” (i believe I watched the teaser for it about when it came out). Since that wasn’t out yet I watched “The Trail To Oregon!” And that was pretty much history, loved them ever since. It also means I have a special place in my heart for trail to Oregon (me and Jeff Blim fell in love at first sight)

Anyway to the list!

Black Friday

Trail to Oregon

A Very Potter Musical

I feel like Black Friday is a bit underrated, it’s my personal favorite of the Hatchetfield saga, I think it deserves more. (I could be biased for Angela, my angel) Something about that one is just very me. could be the fact that the sibling relationship between Lex and Hannah really resonated with me, or the fact that Hannah is a neurodivergent girl that’s also a main character, how often does that happen? A+ from me. The music is really good (you could say that about any Starkid production) but “freast & famine” “Black Friday” (Lex’s solo made me remember she’s my favorite) and “What If Tomorrow Comes” have me in a chokehold.

I really could go on forever, I really do love the Hatchetfield series, I even stared watching some of Nightmare time! Haven’t gotten too far in (I’ve also been skipping around a bit) but my favorite of those is Yellow Jacket! Seeing Joey play Ethan did something to my brain chemistry, which is pretty usual with my brain and anything to do with Joey Richter (stupidly enough I remember him on Jessie when he guest starred as Petey, I remember having a crush on him then when I didn’t even know him in Starkid. Small world)(this was also 11 yrs ago so I guess I’ve always had good taste)

So yeah I think I gave all my reasonings for why those are my top 3, I obviously love a lot of the other stuff they’ve done, but haven’t finished certain musicals (I’m working my way through ‘Starship’ I’m like halfway and I’m liking it so far) so I still have a lot I’ve just never seen.

How about YOU let ME know what you’re top 5 Starkid musicals are?

[9w1ft]

Idk if you've already answered this, but do you know why vogue deleted kaylor's bff game vid? P.S. love ur tumblr

hi! tyvm 🥰

so first of all, just to clarify, the video was put on private, it hasn’t been deleted. second of all, no i don’t know why —i don’t think anybody can know why— but if you are interested in what i think, i guess i will say it this way,

over the years i’ve felt like i’ve experienced a pattern of happening when it comes to kaylor, where often something really big and loud in a positive sense will be accompanied either before or after by something to the negative side of the spectrum.

i think that sometimes the argument is summed up as any of the following, that “something bad just happened, that means something gay is coming” or “something gay just happened, that means something bad is coming” or “the girls decided to throw us a bone” or “this must have been an early apology to appease us because they need us to spread their message” but speaking for myself i see it a little differently. because i don’t think we (the fans) are the focal point of their actions. when you put taylor and karlie as the focal point of their own actions, i think that you might be able to see this pairing (of kaylor positive happenings with kaylor negative happenings) as a sort of risk management. what i mean by risk management is, it’s a way to continue to keep their options open to them as to where they want to go next with their narrative, every step of the way.

so for example, if they add a qualifier or several qualifiers, karlie can easily go to eras tour (and taylor can sing maroon (a song people say is about karlie) on karlies birthday, and she can pair our song with the kaylor anthem you are in love, and sing king of my heart and exile and new year’s day etc etc all in the same week) and even the most clever of gaylors will end up saying “but. BUT!! the bff video got taken down! taylor must have done that! or karlie must have done that! they must be feuding! so i still don’t believe!” and so the needle isn’t drastically moved. it keeps people confused and not in agreement and allows the girls to be able to do things without the ball rolling out of control.

it’s like that one parable about boiling a frog. if you turn the heat up suddenly on a pot of water with a frog in it, they will jump right out. but if you keep the water heating up ever so gradually, the frog won’t move and it will become cooked. imagine the jumping frog is a fanbase becoming suddenly uncontrollable, and the adjustment of the heat as this continual pairing of hot and cold developments, ultimately (i would argue) trending towards hot in the long term.

so anyway when i see something like the bff video being put on private so close to when karlie went to eras tour, i just kind of nod an smile and say, ah, okay, another adjustment, all is good. and move on. that’s it. and when you are more aware of this and see things happening in concert with one another time and time again, the mere existence of this pattern starts to feel like more evidence pointing to this being business as usual. and i think it helps you relax a little bit.

[4uru]

My personal problems:

My clusterfuck of a rant (ft. Cassandra clare)

Buckle up besties bc im about to trauma dump. Like actual baby gay trauma.

(@faithfromanewperspective you wanted to know, i dont think i can freestyle angst on an ask like i can on a post so here it is)

Tw: incest, gender dysphoria, homophobic parents, sexual assault.

In our country you have to give a board exam (goverment??? Exam??? Similar to SATs) at the end of your 5 grade. So you need a primary school certificate (PSC)

After my PSC, my parents fixed up my Tablet. And went to work., i sat on my leaving room couch with blankets and pillows for a whole month (there was a dent on the couch when i actually got up for 6th grade) and i surfed the internet in those weeks.

I saw the malec video on yt ( i didnt click on it and didnt think much of it)

So my friend told me to watch anime. Somehow searching 'anime' on yt lead me to an anime 'Super lovers' (yaoi, pseudo incest, pedophilic and rapey everything under the sun you can find, its in super lovers) also i was like 11. 5 years old at this point. I have no concept of whats right or wrong. And bc of these animes (theres so much of it) i thought incest was fine. I also got into Todobaku and bakudeku. And thats part was fine i was mainly watching edits on yt. Then i started reading yaoi mangas and wattpad stories and gacha vids (And yes incest is still featuring on these stories for the most part)

Somewhere along the line, i was like, this feels weird (it was a particularity bad wattpad story with incest i think) i was already consuming gay content for months by then. (I still hadnt started 6th grade mind you.) and my standard for content increased a bit. And i stopped engaging with incest fics and mangas completely. After i distanced myself from it i realised how fucked that was and moved on from it.

But i still engaged with gay content. Somehow i stumbled upon the malec vid again. I watched it. (The first time im seeing live action gay ppl on screen) then i got into thai bl. ("Love by chance" was my first) the thai bl scene was a bit better. Around this time i read bl, watched bl and started to research about gay culture and what not. I figured out i was attracted to girls before i even went back to school

When i went back to school I became friends with a girl (lets call her bunny) I knew bunny since 5th grade but i didnt talked to her that year. she was smart and cool and i had a bit of crush on her from afar.

(5th grade before gay awakening) One time in my school bus while guessing one of my "friends" crushes i asked if he had a crush on bunny, he laughed, i "joked" if i was a boy, i would grow up to marry her. That 'friend' emptied his water bottle on my head as a response.

In 6th grade, the first week (maybe 2nd /3rd January), bunny and i got selected for a group project along with other friends. Me and another friend went to bunny's house for the project. The other friend left. After that friend left bunny and I started to unpack our traumas for each other. Family troubles and what not. I (being the dumb bitch i am) told her that i liked her (and also the water bottle thing) and that i liked girls too (at this point I identified as bi)

In class 6 and of fuckery happend, but me and bunny became bsfs so fast, with in a day. And we were inseparable. I asked her out and she laughed in my face. And we laughed about it years later too. 6th grade ends with her being made at me for smth i didnt even do wrong and some other shit with out toxicest friened. (We werent hanging out by the end of the year)

(Also i finished all off the percy jackson and percy jackson spin offs in 6th grade) and i also told my dad that i liked girls too. He conveniently forgot it for the nest year.

I come back for 7th grade knowing I was bi or pan (couldnt decide which i identified with the most) i start hanging out with a group of boys. Then covid happens.

Lockdown at the begining was fine (terrified but fine) around the second month of lockdown some genderfuckery started to happen. I would forget my own gender (round the time i was falling asleep or waking up). I started consuming for trans stuff around this time. And i journaled on my sketchbook with doodles and cried on it. I had terrible dysphoria. And i didnt even have a name for it in the begining. And one day the pain became too much and i broke in front of my mother. I came out to her. She ignored me. (Muslim parents) she said i was just a tomboy and "theres nothing wrong with me" and other stuff. I was sure i was trans. And non binary (trans tiktok helped with that bit).

My dysphoria became worse as time went on. Just before time of my birthday. My step mother bought me some books i asked for (queer books) and it had Chain of Gold She saw that it had just come out and thought i would like it. So i was reading chain of Gold. And i didnt get shit. I maybe read 100 pages before i decided that i needed context. I went on goggle and searched the best ways to read cassandra clare books in order and they said that Series wise is best. So i started City of bones (worse mistake of my life)

It was on yt so i started with it first. I already knew before starting that jace and clary werent related and incest might come up. (I didnt know it was that levels of fucked in the books) i just saw a pinterest meme where it was said rather jokingly.

Anyway i finished the whole part one and two of The mortal instruments. I read it for Malec bc they were the only gay characters. I have 101 problems with this series but my most major one was Malec. So at this point in my life i was a closeted trans, (multispec) queer kid Something about reading Queer characters tell each other horrible things about bejng closted and bisexual made me hate myself more. Malec didnt not develope my internalized homophobia, it definately fueled it tho. After my birthday i got grounded (my parents found out the queer content i was engaging with. It was very traumatic. I came out to them and my dad to my face said that i am not queer, instead i am fetishizing queerness and i was engaging in perversion.)

Alot happend many times my parents tried to distance me from queer culture and media but gave up.

As 7th grade ended me and bunny reconnected (shit also happend when my mother read our chats)

Around 8th grade i cried and begged to my mother that i am not going to change and all that jazz, she didnt say anything. But she became more on gaurd, she would analyze my interactions with other girls differently (one time while riding in her scooty, i was in the back said and waved to a girl that was starting at me for some reason) my mother told my dad that shes afraid im flirting with girls AS IM ON THE SCOOTER WITH HER-

In class 8 bunny pulled some shit (i explained it in another post i think) also i finally watched the shadowhunter series show malec healed the wounds that book malec anf my parents left. I was for the most part okay i think (academic studies were my biggest problem)

In class 9 around second half of the year i joined tumblr (helped my mental health immense, finding other gay ppl) and i asked for a book from my step mother (it was a bangla book about a trans girl) my dad delivered it to me. And said that he got that i wasnt going to change (BC LORD KNOWS THEY TRIED) he told me to study well so i could go live abroad bc this country will have me dead. I agreed and took the book (i couldnt finish the book, it was too dark for me at times, i gave the book to bunny).

Bunny and my relationship is vented about in another post. I wont get it.

So my problem with cassandra clare happens for three major personal reasons, one of them i didnt even mention bc i still feel weird about it.

1. The Malec part.

2. The incest part : reading TMI made me relive that first part where i engaged with incestuous content. And just disturbed me to my core this time around EVENTHOUGH I HAD A MILD HEADS UP i didnt know the extent of its fuckery. I dont know why but it just turnt the disgust at incest meter up the roof. Like completely fucked my brain and i wasnt okay. (I was 13/14 my birthday fell in the middle)

3. The sexual assault of Aline.

(Tw: my SA)

As a child (9/10 yrs old) i was assulted in an crowded elevator, my dad was in the elevator, i didnt not see the assulters face. I just remember being sqished against the wall, with a mans hand jammed between my legs. I rember trying to flatten myself against the wall to get away from the hand but it woulnt stop. The hand was knuckles deep between my thighs. I didnt see the mans face. I dont rememeber what he looked like from the back. After we got out i told my dad. He barely reacted and said 'people are assholes'. I told my mother about it.... Earlier This year. I thought if i had told her, she wouldnt let me hang out with dad anymore. He was so nonchalant about it that i thought i was over reacting.

Reading the Aline SA scene fucked me up. It was the first time i had come across an SA scene in a book, before that it was lightly mentioned. In the Aline scene, my mind visualised the whole thing. And it nearly drove me to a panic attack. I was 13 at this point. And in the books it was never brought up again, like it was no big deal. Like it was normal. It was for shock value. And i fell for it.

And the rest of the tsc is still bad writing and i hated it. But tmi fucked right up mentally and yeah. I have other posts explaining my journey with it, under the tag auru's tsc rant. Those explain it better.

[adaru32]

Oct - Dec 2023 Devil May Cry News Updates: Peak of Combat, Teasers, Rumours, Etc.

Happy New Year, everyone! Hope you all had a SSSmokin' SSSexy SSStylin' holiday. Here's hoping this year brings more Devil May Cry goodness. Here are the rest of 2023's news updates on what's happening with Devil May Cry.

1. Capcom is getting stingy about mods. b) So stingy in fact that they're taking down Youtube vids of mods in their games.

2. Gamescom interview about Peak of Combat. b) And more content from the game such as dev notes, gamepad support, new character reveals, official OSTs, and release date.

3. Another Devil May Cry expansion for the mobile game Teppen.

4. Devil May Cry V has sold over 7 million units.

5. A small glimpse on what's in store for the Netflix series.

6. Former Devil May Cry director Hideki Kamiya talks at the Archipel Caravan Festival in Tokyo about DMC1's development, with former Resident Evil director/producer Shinji Mikami (can't find the video, so this link will have to do).

7. Dante's and Nero's face models Adam Cowie and Karlo Baker tease us with a little future Devil May Cry news.

8. Rumours of Dante appearing in Fortnite anytime soon due to a loading screen speculation, and some infamous leaker.

My Thoughts On These Updates:

It's really too bad what Capcom thinks of mods. I get it when it comes to inappropriate eye candy and overpowering everything to make things easy, but they need to realize that mods aren't just about those. Mods are also a way of building a community of like-minded and talented individuals, and they should also think of mods as some form of resume if they're looking for more people to work on their team to make games.

2. It's really cool that the dev team of Peak of Combat got Casey Edwards and Victor Borba to be a part of their OST, and cool what other features are in the game. But it's really too bad on the direction the devs have gone on it. Ads are popping up on their profiles like weeds (especially outrageous ones), they're not very clear with their direction on the game (including their official release dates. I've lost count how many release dates they've had now), and they've pretty much stopped listening to feedback from the fans on what can be improved on it overall. Found a former mod member of the game talking about their negative experience on working with them.

3 and 4. That's cool that Teppen gets another Devil May Cry expansion, and how Devil May Cry V sold more copies.

5. So we've got our first glimpse of Lady, and a little more in the Netflix series. I still have my high curiosities and being cautiously optimistic on what's in store for it. Fingers crossed that it doesn't turn out like Castlevania did after season 1.

6. It's interesting how Kamiya and Mikami left their own companies, and the process of their career journey throughout the years. I wish them luck on their next endeavor.

7. So I guess we may or may not get a Devil May Cry 6 announcement anytime soon?

8. If it's true that Dante will be appearing in Fortnite, that would be cool. But sadly I'm not a Fortnite fan, and him being in the game won't convince me to play it. But I will have no problem seeing what he looks like and how he plays on Youtube.