#i guess that's not a good sign though because why wouldn't you want to hang out with your friends

[m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e]

I know that I wasn't ready at the time and it's really unhelpful to just dwell on things you did in your past that you can't change, but man it's sometimes hard not to think about how much I regret just not having gone to a four-year university right after high school so I could finally get away from home and my current situation that was and still is making me miserable and then proceeding to fail my community college classes because I was depressed

[hyunniesgirl]

Another Love | Part 4

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 6,639

Warnings for this chapter: angst(as usual)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

A/N: I'm sorry it took me a bit longer to write this part, I'm just in a weird place right now. I'm doubting a lot about my skills as a writer and that leads me to believe everything I write sucks so this was a bit harder to write, I hope you all like it though.

Jisung has been dreaming about you lately. Going back to every little memory he has with you, watching all the signs you gave him while he was oblivious to you, to your feelings.

It's been almost a week since Han ended things with Lia. The things she said are still stuck in his head, he can't be in love with you. Not after rejecting you. Not after everything you went through to get over him. Not now, when you're happy with someone else.

Things are going back to the way they were before, except that now your roles are reversed, he's the one hanging on your every word and movement, all the little details about you look fascinating to him. He's never felt this way before.

You're not avoiding him anymore. Things fell into place slowly, you started having dinner together again, talking about your day. Then you got back to making coffee for him in the morning, waking him up with the nice scent so he wouldn't be too grumpy woking up so early.

He has a mission now: to stop these strange thoughts he's having. Even if he is indeed feeling this way about you, he lost his chance. He knows he did. Right now, he wants to focus on being a good friend to you, the same as he was before the confession happened.

Jisung just didn't expect how he would feel seeing you with Jeongho again. You invited all your friends to dinner in a nice restaurant, to officially introduce your boyfriend to everyone.

This must be how you felt seeing him with all his previous partners, you must have felt this ache in your chest, as if someone was holding your heart and squeezing it to their heart's content.

You look pretty, hair tied in a ponytail and a dress he never saw before, maybe it's a gift from your boyfriend, he wouldn't know. He avoids talking about your relationship, too selfish to handle the same pain you did for so many years.

Your friendship is getting back to what it was, even though he screwed up really badly, you were the bigger person and forgave him, so he has no right feeling this way about you.

Jisung knows it would be better for you and for him if you didn't come back to the apartment but he's too greedy, he wants you close to him.

This whole problem began because he was greedy, afterall. He didn't want to stay away from you, then he hurt you again and again trying to fix things. Now he just wants to make things right, he just wants you to be happy.

You're smiling so brightly it actually makes his heart skip a beat. He sips from his drink, trying to calm his heart a bit and watch as the others try to make small talk.

“So how did you meet y/n?” Chan asks Jeongho.

“I had the biggest crush on her in middle school but she mercilessly rejected me”, Jeongho answers, looking at you and smiling playfully.

“I thought he had lost a bet or something”, you defend yourself.

“Why would you think that?” Han asks, surprised and you stare at him for a second before shrugging. Of course Jisung was not the only reason for you to reject Jeongho, you were just learning about your feelings at that time. You just couldn't get your head around why someone older and handsome like Jeongho would want to have anything to do with you.

“Y/N was one of the prettiest girls in our school”, Han comments, not understanding why you would feel like that.

He always thought you were pretty, that's why he always complimented you and gave you clothes saying they would look good on you.

“I think teenagers are just insecure. I guess it's part of growing up”, you sip from your wine glass.

Jisung never thought you were insecure about anything by the way you carried yourself with your head high, always so sure about everything you put your mind into. Maybe there's too much he doesn't know about you.

The rest of the dinner goes well, your friends are being nice and trying to make Jeongho comfortable, you're happy about it. Everything seems to be falling into place with your best friend by your side being his normal self and your boyfriend, the guy you're falling in love with being just perfect. Your heart is finally healing, you're moving on, things are working out. You couldn't wish for anything else, you just want things to stay like this forever.

“Are you happy?” Jisung asks when you're outside the restaurant, Jeongho stepped out to take a call from work and left you and your friends alone. One by one they called it a night, saying their goodbyes and leaving you and Han alone.

You stare at him for a moment before answering.

“Yes, I am”, you're not sure why he wants to know and not even sure why you're thinking so much before answering.

Jisung smiles, a sincere and bright smile.

“I'm glad”, he says, “I want you to be happy”

You are a bit taken aback, you didn't expect him to react this way, he almost sounds like a grown up now.

“Thanks, I-”

“I'm sorry I kept you waiting”, Jeongho's voice cuts you out. He slides his arm over your shoulders pulling you closer.

“I should get going”, Jisung says, turning his gaze away from you and your boyfriend.

“Aren't you going home?” You ask and he shakes his head, he's not sure if he can stay at the same place with you two for much longer. “Oh, are you going to Lia's?”

There's not a bit of discomfort in your face, so he just nods. He's not sure if now is the best moment to tell you about his situation with Lia.

“Okay, see you tomorrow then”, you hesitate, not sure if it's appropriate, but you try not thinking too much, throwing your arms around him, squeezing him into a hug. You would never think twice about hugging him before your confession, there's no need for you to make it awkward now.

You're trying to get things back to the way they were and Jisung notices that, he's grateful. So the only thing he can do is wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you back.

Jisung didn't want to lie, but he's afraid it may be uncomfortable to you if he says he's not with Lia anymore. And he's afraid you'll be able to see right through him, see that he is giving in to the strange feelings he's trying so hard to avoid.

He ends up sleeping on Chan's couch, if he could call that ‘sleeping’. Everytime he closes his eyes, you show up in his mind, smiling, making a joke, just looking at him. Everytime he finally managed to fall asleep, you would be there, together with your boyfriend, giggling and kissing him while Jisung just watched. He would wake up sweating and stare at the ceiling for at least ten minutes before trying to sleep again.

>><<

After pondering what he wanted to do from now on, Jisung decided he should have some closure with Lia. He didn't like the way things ended with her, he really liked her until a certain point and above all, she is a good person. Even though he didn't want to, he ended up hurting her and he should apologize for that.

Awkward. That's the best word to explain the situation that Jisung finds himself in right now. Lia is on the other side of the table, glaring at him like she could kill him with the power of her mind.

“What is it that you want?” She asks, coldly.

He clears his throat, trying to gather some courage.

“I want to apologize”, he says, “I shouldn't have lead you on even though I already knew something was not right”, sighing he looks at her, biting his lower lip, “I'm just… confused, I ended up hurting you in the middle of this mess and I'm really sorry”

Lia looks at his eyes, staring deeply. She can feel his sincerity but she's not sure if only an apology is enough to make up for the pain he caused. She's not crazy, she knows people can't control how they feel most of the time. Maybe if he just admits he likes you, she'll feel at ease.

“So, have you finally accepted that you're in love with y/n?”

Jisung thinks for a bit, trying to put what he is feeling into words.

“I don't know if love is the right word”, he says, fidgeting with his fingers, “but I'm feeling some weird things around her, when she smiles or laughs, or even when she's doing nothing”, he covers his mouth with his hand in a slap, wide eyes, realizing he is talking about being in love with someone else with the girl that likes him.

Lia chuckles.

“It's alright, I'm pretty sure that's the definition of love though”, she sighs looking at Jisung. “Maybe you never felt that before”

It's not easy for her to be kind and comprehensive at the moment, but it's not like being mean is going to make him like her back. She's not actually even sure if she wants that anymore. Maybe her heart just accepted things ended, maybe she was already preparing herself for this since Han started acting differently, but the pain is not as great as she thought it would be. Maybe seeing him naively admitting his feelings made her have some sympathy for the mess he made of his relationship with you, maybe she didn't like him as much as she thought.

Since the beginning, there were too many maybes in this relationship. Lia knows she deserves better, she deserves someone who's sure about her, no maybes.

“I think I can forgive you, yeah”, she chuckles seeing Jisungs shocked face, “not now, obviously”, with a sigh, she looks deeply into his eyes, “you were always great to me before things started going wrong and I know you're not a bad person”, she stands up, “I'm actually feeling bad for you, with the mess you created I have no idea how you're going to fix it, but I'll cheer for you”, she puts her hand in his shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance. Lia leaves Jisung there, stuck in his head once more. At least that is something they both have in common, because he sure doesn't know how he's going to keep these strange feelings under control while fixing his relationship with you.

>><<

If Jisung had to rate his acting skills, he would be proud to say he deserves an award. He's succeeding at pretending not to be in love with you while maintaining a healthy friendship.

It's almost the same as it was before, except Jisung has to watch his every move. He's trying to act normal while trying to crush the onslaught of feelings in his chest everytime you laugh at one of his jokes, or when you just talk about your very normal day.

You both do your things during the day, have dinner together and talk or watch something before sleeping, that's your routine when Jeongho is not visiting.

You've been watching your phone lately, more than usual, is there something wrong? He's sure you're just waiting for Jeongho's call. Jisung has lost count of how many nights he spent listening to your laughs on the phone with your boyfriend, wishing it was him making you happy like that.

It's true, he's struggling. He's not sure how you managed to like him for so long without freaking out, because he's about to collapse and it's been just about a month since he came to terms with his feelings.

He feels bad just thinking about how much you must have suffered because of him, before and after your confession. Guilt is eating him alive, along with heartbreak.

He's been watching you for a while now, you are washing the dishes while talking about these kids you tutor and how smart they are, he's staring at you with heart eyes—you're not seeing—while he dries the dishes.

“I'm sure they can only learn so fast because it's you teaching them”, Jisung says.

You giggle to his compliment, bumping a shoulder into his.

“Should we watch a movie before going to bed?” You ask, drying your hands on your apron.

“I'm actually kinda sleepy”, Jisung laughs, he can only keep his feeling bottled for so long, he doesn't want to get careless and blurt out everything. He knows that if he gets too comfortable he'll feel at ease and you were always too good at making him tell you what's on his mind.

“Let's do it another time then”, you shrug, taking your phone out of your pocket and smiling when the screen brightens with Jeongho's name.

Han feels his chest tighten, he wants to throw up, he wants to cry, he wants to plead for you to not like someone else. But he can't do any of those things, not when you're so happy. So he won't be selfish, he'll think about you first and keep his distance.

>><<

It's been almost a month since the last time you saw Jeongho. He was not able to come by on the usual weekends because the company he works for is opening a new branch somewhere and he is involved in the project.

He's been busy, texting less and not even calling, so you start getting insecure. What if he's getting cold feet about your relationship? Maybe he met someone more interesting who's near him.

No. Jeongho wouldn't be like that. He would break up if he didn't like you anymore, you know him enough to know that.

When he calls saying he's coming to see you, you feel excited once again. You knew you were mistaken, it's not right to presume the worst just because he's a bit more busy. It must be nothing.

You just can't shake the feeling that you were going through the calm before the storm and now the bad weather is finally coming.

He's waiting for you at the restaurant of the hotel he's staying in, Jeongho is fidgeting with his fingers nervously, looking around until his eyes land on you. You smile at him, waving at him but he doesn't smile back.

“Hey”, you say, dropping your bag on the chair and sitting, “is there something wrong?”

“I received a promotion”, he says suddenly, he doesn't look happy about it.

“That's great”, you smile, taking his hand into yours to hold it, not really understanding his reaction.

He stares at your hands together, taking a deep breath before speaking again.

“Actually, the company wants me to go to Europe”, Jeongho says, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh”, you frown, “for how long?”

“They are not sure about the exact period, but-”, he clears his throat, looking around, “they are projecting it to be between five and eight years”, he replies, feeling his breathing quickening.

“They want you to move there?” You repeat it to yourself, trying to absorb the information.

“They are trying to make an entry in the European market, so a team is needed there to develop the new branch”

“Okay, yeah”, you feel dizzy, “we can work with that, hm, I can- we can visit each other”, you nod, trying to organize your thoughts.

“Y/N-”, Jeongho starts, his voice fails and he stops for a moment before continuing. “Long distance works right now because we are a 2 hour flight away from each other, not 12 hours”

“What are you saying?” You feel all the air in your lungs escape, knowing exactly what he means but choosing not to believe it.

“I don't think we can keep doing this, I'm not sure our relationship is going to survive and-”, he sighs, running his hand through his hair, “I won't ask you to come with me”

“Why not? Why won't you ask me?” You plead, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. It's not logical what you're asking of him, but you don't want to hurt anymore, not again.

“How could I? I can't make you leave your whole life here, your family, your friends or college to go to a country where you know no one but me”, he explains, “I’ll be in charge of a large project, I'll have to stay late probably everyday and you're going to stay alone, how could I do that to you?”

“Don't you think that's for me to decide?” You ask, feeling your hands shaking. You put them in between your legs, trying not to show him the sight of your broken heart.

“I can't- I can't carry that guilt with me”, he says, “not knowing how happy you are here, if you go with me and things end up not working out I could never forgive myself”

“What if things work out? What if we are happy together forever? Did you consider it for a moment?” You ask, he's not looking at you. Jeongho is trying to hold his own tears, trying to be strong for you, “I guess this relationship is not worth you considering it”, you stand up, grabbing your bag.

He lifts his eyes to look at him, finding your quivering lips and the tears flooding from your eyes.

“Well, good luck then”, you tell him, turning around and walking out.

After walking far enough from the hotel, you let yourself crouch on the floor, scaring the people walking by. You are sobbing, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes, but they keep coming continuously.

You stand up again, walking, what are you supposed to do now? When are things going to finally get better for you? Since you confessed to Jisung things got worse over and over, you should have never told him about your feelings, maybe your life would have stayed the same.

The hurt you felt seeing him with other people was a pain you were already used to, but this? This is excruciating, it's the same all over again, the same as when Jisung rejected you. Will you ever feel complete again?

It's 3 a.m, Jisung went to the studio to work for a bit and to try to forget about everything else. His phone buzzes in his pocket, when he looks at the screen, your name is there. He doesn't think twice about answering, just to find your drunk voice on the other side of the call. He can't understand a thing you're saying just that you'll share your location with him.

He grabs the keys to his car, running to the parking lot, he drives for about thirty minutes until arriving where you are. The bar is empty, there are only employees cleaning and you're laying on the counter, unconscious.

“It's been a while since we closed, but we let her stay inside since it looks like she went through something”, the bartender tells Han when he gets closer.

“Thank you”, Jisung says, before trying to wake you up with no success. He sighs, looking around and thinking about what to do.

He slides one of your arms around his neck, putting one of his hands behind your back for support and the other underneath your knees, lifting you up.

Your face is puffy, he can see it now that he's looking so closely, you probably cried a lot but what would make you cry like that?

Jisung glances at you a few times during the ride home. You groan, whining something in your sleep, even crying a bit. That makes him even more worried.

He repeats the process of picking you up when he parks in front of your apartment, carrying you inside. You whimper all the way to the apartment, he knows you can wake up at any moment.

Han sits you on your bed, taking your coat off and helping you lay down, covering you with a blanket after taking off your shoes. Your makeup is all smeared, so he picks a wet tissue and starts rubbing your face, trying to take off everything he can.

You open your eyes slowly, seeing Jisung with a focused expression while whipping your face.

“What are you doing?” You ask, making him jump. He was so concentrated he didn't even see you waking up.

“I was trying to take your makeup off”, he says, “it's not good for you to sleep with it on your face”

“How did I come home?” You look around, stumbling a bit over your words.

“You don't remember calling me?” He asks and you shake your head. “I went to the bar to pick you up”

Jisung is still whipping your face while he talks, that's when you remember why you were in the bar in the first place and tears run out of your eyes again.

“What happened? Why are you crying like this?” He asks worriedly, helping you sit on the bed.

“I don't- everything goes wrong for me”, you say, sobbing. “Maybe I'm the problem”

Jisung sighs, pulling you into a hug and holding you tightly, feeling your tears soak his shirt. He's worried and doesn't know what to do, should he call Hannah? Or Jeongho? Jisung knows you went to meet with him earlier… wait, did that guy do this to you?

After you stop sobbing for a while, Jisung realizes you fell asleep in his embrace. He lies you on the bed, covering you with the blanket once more. He leaves a glass of water and some hangover medicine on your nightstand so you can take in the morning and prepares his bed on the floor.

You wake up to the bright sunlight coming from the window, your head hurts like crazy and you're so thirsty it seems like a thousand years since you last drank something.

You take the hangover medicine and the water, while sitting down, still a bit dizzy. When your feet touch the floor, it's not the hard ground they meet but something soft. Why is Jisung sleeping by your bedside?

He doesn't look a bit comfortable, although he seems fast asleep. You start poking him, trying to make him wake up, causing your friend to jump and hold your arm.

“Are you alright?” He asks, eyes widened.

You frown at the sight, it's been a while since you last saw Jisung this startled.

“Yeah”, you answer and he can finally let out the breath he didn't even notice was being held. “Why are you sleeping on the floor?”

He looks around for a bit as if he didn't understand why you were asking such a thing.

“Oh, I- hm- I was afraid you would need something so I stayed here just in case”, he tells you and you nod.

It's not an uncommon occurrence for you two to do this kind of thing, even when you were living with your parents. When one of you got sick, it was a tradition to stay by each other's side until the other felt better.

When you moved in with him, naturally, your drinking habits grew since you didn't have to worry about your parents anymore. Jisung was responsible for taking care of you when you came home wasted after partying with Hannah or even when you drunk with him and the boys, he made sure to stay sober enough to still be able to take you home and help you get to your room safely.

“Oh”, you answer, “thank you”

He kept staring at you, waiting for something you're not sure what is.

“Do you want to talk about the reason you got wasted last night?” He asks, awkwardly and the pain comes back all at once.

It was so nice, the period of numbness after waking up from a deep sleep, you wish you could keep feeling that way. Now, your hands are trembling again, just like last night, tears are brimming in your eyes and your lips are quivering. It's obvious to Jisung, you're trying not to cry.

He gets up, collecting the things he used to sleep, without looking at you, he doesn't want to make you any more uncomfortable.

“We don't have to talk about it”, he says, putting the blanket and pillow back in your wardrobe. “Do you want me to call Hannah?” He asks and you stare at him for a moment, nodding to his question, not really wanting to look at your phone.

You're scared Jeongho contacted you, you don't want to see him. But more than anything, you're scared he didn't try talking to you at all, because that means everything is really over.

It's pathetic, you know that break ups happen. But Jeongho was the first guy to ever make you feel the closest to what you ever felt for Jisung, no other could do that and you're scared no one ever will.

Hannah gets to your place about an hour after Jisung called her. She's huffing, hair messed up and puffy face.

“Were you sleeping?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath, seeing that you're okay.

“I'm going to kill that guy”, she yells out of the door to your room, “he made it seems like you were dying or something”

“If I was dying I'm pretty sure he would have taken me to the hospital”, you point out.

Hannah rolls her eyes, dropping her bag on the floor. Closing the door, she walks slowly to sit on your bed, she can clearly see that you cried a lot.

“So, did something happen?” She asks, you avoid her gaze, looking at anything but her face. You find your fingers much more interesting than any part of this conversation, actually. So you pay attention to them, playing on your lap.

“It's nothing”, you answer.

Hannah sighs, if you don't want to talk about it, it means it's bad.

“We don't have to talk about it right now”, she stretches her hand, taking yours and squeezing it. “But you will have to talk about it eventually”

It's your time to sigh now, she's right, you know that, but talking about it makes it real and you don't want it to be real.

“Jeongho broke up with me”, you rip the bandaid all at once.

Hannah gasps, she's speechless. How can this be? She thought he was head over heels for you, so why?

“His company is sending him to Europe and he doesn't want to do long distance”, you feel the tears brimming into your eyes again, voice cracking, “or take me with him”

It's the first time in her life Hannah doesn't know what to say. Your love life is such a mess, worse than hers, so she doesn't have any advice or any comfort to give you.

“Honey, I…”, she tries, but what is she supposed to say? ‘I am sorry?’, that's not it, ‘he is an asshole?’ nothing of the sort.

Looking from outside the situation, Jeongho is being logical, they still are in their honeymoon phase of the relationship, everything is perfect at that time. For most people, problems start to arise after some time. However, when you're in love, you don't want logical outputs, you want what your heart wants.

Hannah is saved by a knock on the door. Han's head pops inside the room and he observes for a moment trying to assess the situation.

“I bought some things you like”, he says, “I'll be going out, so you have the apartment all to yourselves”

He wants you to feel comfortable right now, he doesn't know exactly what happened but you're sad. Jisung knows just letting you enjoy your afternoon with Hannah in the apartment is not going to make things better for whatever is making you feel so down, but he knows you are going to feel livelier after some time with Hannah.

He goes out with Hyunjin, who's buying a present for his mother. It's hot, so if his friend didn't ask very nicely he wouldn't have accepted to go to the mall, since they have to wear hoods and masks. The fact that you're home, crying your eyes out for something he has no clue about, made him want to go out too. It hurts seeing you sad and it's even worse because he can't do anything about it, not when he doesn't know what's happening.

They are looking at bags, maybe he should get you something? You are not really a materialistic person, he's not sure if giving you an expensive present is going to help at all, maybe he should get you that webtoon print you've been talking about, they should definitely have it in the bookstore next door.

When Jisung turns around to tell Hyunjin they should stop at the bookstore, he sees Jeongho. He's looking at bags too, trying to figure out which one he should choose.

Is he giving you a gift too? Maybe he did something and you fought, that's why you were crying so much. Even remembering the way you cried as soon as you woke up makes his heart ache.

Jisung walks to Jeongho, not sure how to initiate a conversation but he feels like he should try and help in some way.

“Hey”, he says, watching Jeongho turn around and look at him.

“Jisung, how are you doing?” He asks, arms crossed in front of chest.

“Fine, are you choosing a gift for y/n?” He asks, awkwardly, “I don't think she likes purple”, he points out observing the bags Jeongho was looking at.

“It's actually for my mother”, he clears his throat, frowning, “didn't y/n tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Jisung asks, confused and Jeongho nods.

“So she didn't”, he sighs, “we broke up”, he struggles to say it.

Jisung's eyes dart directly to Jeongho's face, now he can see the eyebags on his face and how tired he looks.

“Why?” Jisung panics, you shouldn't have to go through another heartbreak.

“I don't think it's something you should know about, if she didn't tell you”, Jeongho shrugs.

“Well, can't you fix it? Whatever it is that is wrong?” He asks, carefully.

Jeongho sighs, he wishes there was something he could do about it, but he's a coward who's too afraid of taking such a big step in the beginning of a relationship.

“I’m afraid I can't”, he says, “take care of her”

Jisung is speechless, he has no idea what to do, so he just watches as Jeongho chooses a gift and walks tiredly out of the store.

Jisung arrives after killing some time outside, he was out for almost the entire day and hopes that you could enjoy a bit of your day with Hannah. He doesn't know if he should bring up his encounter with Jeongho or if he should talk about what your, now ex, boyfriend told him.

He shouldn't mention it, if you didn't tell him about it, it's because you're not ready for you to know and he gets that. Han is not sure about what he's feeling. It hurts his heart to see you in so much pain but he doesn't want to overstep the boundaries you're setting.

So when he enters the house, he sees you and Hannah watching a movie, he greets you both and goes to his room. You clearly cried more since he left and he won't be able to stay in your presence without trying to comfort you.

>><<

Things are difficult for you at the moment. Even though your love for Jeongho never got to its full potential, it's still love. You're mourning what you could have had with him had things been different, you wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep anymore, feeling your chest hurting and remembering it's over.

It all sank in when he didn't contact you anymore, you're sure he's hurting too but you had hoped that you two could find a solution around this cruel puzzle.

“Should we go out?” Hannah asks while you're watching a drama, burying your sorrows in ice cream.

“I'm not really in the mood”, you say. You haven't cried for some time now, you're too tired, maybe your tears finally dried up.

“I know you don't feel like it”, Hannah sighs, looking at your apathetic face, worriedly, “but I think you should have some fresh air, you have been stuck in this apartment for a week now, it's not healthy”

You sigh, she's right, you know she is, but you can't really find the strength to doll up and go out.

“We don't have to go to a party or anything crowded”, she says, seeing the resigned look on your face. “We can just go to a cafe or something, anything”, she pleads.

You nod, sighing in defeat, maybe a walk can really lift your mood a bit.

Hannah jumps out of the sofa, taking the ice cream from your hands. She talks excitedly about what kind of things you two can do but can't really follow what she's saying, your head is still numb.

You walk around for a bit, looking at clothes in the stores nearby, doing just about anything to think of anything but your break up.

It's already night when you two decide to eat something, there's this restaurant that's kinda hidden so there's not many people eating when you arrive. It's not the first time you eat there, it's a nice and cozy place so you come by when you're needing a little bit of peace.

“Y/N?” You hear a familiar voice calling you, making you turn around to find Lia. She's smiling, there's a man accompanying her. “It's been a while”, she says after telling the man to look for a place for them to sit.

“Hey, yeah it does”, you smile politely. Lia can see the huge eyebags you have and the wide eyes your friend has looking at her.

“Are you alright?” She asks, noticing you barely touched your food.

“Yeah”, you lie, “what about you?” You ask, eyeing the guy who's now looking at his phone while waiting for Lia.

“I'm okay”, she smiles shyly, “it's not easy, you know? But I'm trying to move on, meet new people”

You frown, not really understanding what she's talking about.

“I hope we can still be on friendly terms even though Jisung and I are over”, Lia says, regrets immediately when she sees your eyes widen. He didn't tell you. Shit.

“I didn't know you guys were not together anymore”, Hannah is the one to talk, stealing Lia's attention from your shocked face.

“Yeah, hm, it's been a while actually. I thought he would have already told you everything by now”, she says apologetically. “Well, Han Jisung, let's say that now we are even”, she thinks.

“I should probably go!” Lia points out to the man who's staring impatiently. She waves goodbye to you and walks towards him, afraid she'll tell you something more she's not supposed to.

You find yourself in the dark, seated at the sofa, arms crossed in front of your chest. You can't believe you had to hear from someone other than Jisung about his relationship status. You're mad at him, you were making an effort so things could go back to the way they were so why isn't he acting like he wants that too?

Before, he would tell you everything about his romantic endeavors and even though it hurted, you felt special, knowing every little thing about him. Now, you feel like you know nothing, he's spending less time with you and every time you try doing anything just the two of you, he avoids it like you would jump his bones or something if you stay alone with him for more than two hours.

You may have not gotten over him completely, but you're fine now and for years you could behave yourself, so you're not sure why he's acting like that.

You hear the door being open, Han’s voice comes out in a discussion, he's on the phone. He walks in, putting his phone in his pocket while trying to find his way in the dark. He jumps at the sight of you on the sofa, staring at him with a scowl.

“Jesus christ, y/n”, he says, putting his hand above his heart, “what the hell are you doing there in the dark?”

He turns on the light, turning back at you. You're still staring at him in silence.

“Why didn't you tell me you and Lia are not together anymore?” You stand up, waiting for his answer.

“W-what?” His standing falters and he takes a step back. “How did you know?”

“Clearly I didn't find out from my best friend”, you scoff. “Did you think I would try making a move on you if you are single?”

Jisung frowns, how the hell did you get to that conclusion?

“No, I-”

“I'm sure you already figured Jeongho and I broke up”, you point out, “but you rejected me, I'm over that already”

“I can see why you would think that”, Jisung says carefully, “considering the way I acted when you confessed, but it's not that, I can assure you”

“I'm trying to have a normal relationship with you, you know, but you're just not the same. You don't spend time with me anymore, you don't talk to me about what's on your mind, the only thing I can think is that you're scared of me”

“I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I'm trying to act normally too, it's just-” Jisung cuts himself off, not sure what to say. At the same time he doesn't know what to say to make you stop thinking like that, he's not sure things will get any better if he tells you the truth.

“What's it? Just tell me so I can fix it, please I-”

“I'm in love with you”, he blurts out, hand instantly going to his chest and clenching the place above his heart. “I'm so in love with you it hurts”

You stumble back, almost falling. Did you hear it right?

“I don't think I understand”, you say, frowning, trying to make sense of his words.

“I feel terrible, I rejected you and made you suffer just for me to feel like this now?” He scoffs, “I'm sorry I made you think you are the problem again, but you're not, I am. I'm the one who can't stay close to you because I'm afraid I'll do something that will ruin our friendship”

You get up, trying to function properly after this sudden confession. Never, in your wildest dreams did you think there would come a day when Jisung would actually love you in the way you most desperately once wanted. You fantasized about it for years but you never really thought it would happen for real.

“I can't do this right now”, you say to him, seeing his shoulders slump. The sad look in your face is what he most feared. Jisung didn't expect you to still like him, but it would be a lie to say he didn't have any hope of you telling him he still has a chance.

“I don't expect you to like me back”, he says, voice cracking a bit when he tries to say the words he least want to, “I just don't want you to think I'm avoiding you because of you, it's because of me”

You nod slowly, still not fully recovered from the shock. You walk past him, not saying anything anymore, just entering your room and closing the door silently. This was definitely unexpected.

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.

Taglist(closed):

@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @starsandrqindrops @its-hannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98 @blithevix @astro-doll-the-star @vlctorriaa @captainchrisstan @rag-iii @notastraykid @jisunghannie @applepie-macaroon @stayingdelulu @sundayysunshine @kidrauhlschik @wolfennracha @meloncremesoda @hanschimpmunk @realrintaro @teejisung @maexc @gyustarzzi @ivaneedssleep @chaeryred @daemon-bunny @broken-glowsticks @ch4nniebang @sleepyleeji @seukijeuxq @luvbangchan @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @castielsfrillywhiteknickers @armystay89 @literallyjustwanttoread @jisunghannie @jungkookies1002 @diorggukie @channieandhisgoonsquad @mamabymychem @ladylexis @bmnyy

[poppadom0912]

Love on ice

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Makayla Burgess, Jordan Atwater

Warnings: None

Summary: Jay unveils one of his biggest secrets to help a friend.

A/N: I got some inspiration from one of the chicago pd episodes this season. Thought it would be cute but it didn't turn out as nice as I wanted it to.

Wrapping up a successful case felt good. Damages were kept to a minimal and Jay was certain this case in particular wouldn't haunt him in his dream which was always a bonus.

Jay was currently messaging you, keeping his smile hidden behind his hand so no one would interrogate him. He had been able to keep you his best kept secret for a year now and no one knew besides Will because of your sudden appearance at his door one night but he'd been sworn to secrecy.

Pressing his lips together, he kept down a chuckle at one of your well thought out jokes and put his phone down, promising to call you on his way home. Just as he was going to sign off all his paperwork before signing off for the night, Jay became aware of the conversation everyone was participating in besides him.

"We can skate but she wants professionalism." Kim stressed, leaning back on her chair as she talked about who Jay guessed was Makayla. "She straight up told us no when I offered to teach her myself."

"You did tell her that Jordan is pretty good, right?" Kevin asked, looking at his best friend questiongly before looking back to his monitor.

"We tried that Kev." Adam answered for Kim, pushing his chair back to his own desk. "She needs to see him on the ice first."

Jay felt like he would regret his actions but deep down, he adored Kim and Adam's daughter. Maybe you wouldn't shout at him if it was for Makayla's sake.

"You said she wants a professional skater?" Jay asked, finally stepping into the conversation. Turning around in his chair, he found it funny how everyone looked at him with the same question hanging on the tips of their tongues.

"Yeah..." Kim trailed, going to ask him something but was cut off.

"We've got the day off tomorrow, I know someone if you're willing." Jay discreetly offered, shrugging his shoulders as though nothing was suspicious about how vague he was being.

Kim and Adam shared a glance, having a silent conversation with their eyes before shrugging. "Sure, why not. Send me the address of the rink?"

"You got it."

*****

When Jay came home yesterday night with that stupid sheepish smile on his face, the first thing you felt was fear. You still felt it now along with a newfound nervousness.

Skating had been your livelihood, your blood ever since you could walk. Skating was more familiar to you than some common knowledge but you would never complain.

It was actually skating that brought you and Jay together in the first place.

You met him after practice and bumped into him on your way to the gym. Hitting it off was easy and it was smooth sailing from there.

You never questioned why Jay's friends and co-workers were still unaware of your existence, especially when he had to deal with your past.

You loved skating more than a lot of things so it confused you as to why you were so nervous.

"Y/N, why are you so nervous?" Jay asked you, leaning forward against the guard rails. He refused to get on the ice and insisted on watching from afar. He could see your tells: fidgeting with the end of your sleeve, spinning in circles and refusing to stay still.

"What if I'm not up to her standards?" You asked, gently pushing yourself towards him, letting him take your hands in his before you wore a hole into your shirt sleeve.

"Are you kidding? She'll love you." Jay huffed with a smile at the thought of someone not being impressed by you. "Ruzeks probably expecting some skater I knew back in the days who owed me a favour."

You rose a brow, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes, I owe you one."

Before you could voice or show him your appreciation for his short words, you were stopped by the doors opening and a small group of four entering. You didn't recognise them but Jay definitely did.

"Yo Jay! What's up?" Kevin waved at his friend, Jordan at his side. You both knew of the Atwater brothers joining you which you had no problem with.

"Hey guys, hey Makayla." Jay greeted, doing a 'man hug' and spudding the young girl who eagerly smiled at him.

"This is my girlfriend Y/N." Jay introduced you to his friends. He reached out to you, pulling you closer even though he was on dry land and you on ice.

As soon as your name left his lips, all four heads snapped in your direction, mouths agape and eyes wide in shock. You secretly hoped they wouldn't know who you were but it made sense if they were into skating.

"Y/N Y/L/N. Jay managed to snag Y/N?" Adam asked himself, astonished as to how you two were even dating and how no one ever knew you guys were dating.

You sheepishly smiled, shaking hands with each of them, even Makayla who was frozen.

It was as if you were a celebrity who worked in Hollywood the way she looked up you; her eyes shining in adoration and the brightest smile spreading, her dimples really popping out.

"Hi Makayla." You knowingly smiled at the girl, holding out your hand to shake hers over the barrier. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Glitter was practically sparkling in her eyes as her mouth remained agape at the face she had only ever seen on the tv screen at home. Her dreams were all of a sudden coming true and she found herself struggling to compute.

Adam gently nudged her with his hand on her shoulder, prompting her to return your handshake which she rapidly did once she was shaken out of her stupor.

"You- you're Y/N Y/L/N." She stated the obvious, hand still shaking yours unknowingly.

"That's me." You nodded, gently releasing her hand and going forth to shake the three mens hands.

"I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself to your boyfriends colleagues. "You guys skating with us or no?"

Adam reluctantly shook his head as if ashamed. "Nah, only Jordan and Makayla are skating."

"That's great." You smiled, pushing yourself away from the barrier. "Get your skates on and we can start straight away. Show me what you got."

And with that, Makayla wasted no time in sitting down and getting her skates on, all the men surrounding her laughing at her hastiness.

*****

Jay's eyes were burning from how long and hard he'd been staring at the investigation board. The words were merging together and he could no longer recognise the faces as they all became one big blur.

He desperately needed sleep after being up all night, being called onto a scene just at the two of you got under the covers. It was now midday on a Saturday and everyone just began pouring in once Jay called them all that this was starting to become something serious.

Deciding to rest his eyes for a mere second to reduce the incessant twitching, he internally groaned when he heard the familiar sound of mixed laughter getting louder as they approached the bullpen.

"Oh, you look like hell Jay." Adam said, deciding to go straight for the jugular as he shrugged off his jacket.

"What's up dude? Looks like you've been through it." Kevin said with a bit more empathy, lightly patting the back of his shoulder as a sort of greeting before going towards his own desk.

Before Jay could respond with the most snarkiest remark anyone has ever heard in their life, he was rudely cut off by Kim whose face suddenly brightened, making him physically wince.

"Jay, why did you never tell us you had an Olympic gold medalist girlfriend?"

The bullpen was filled with pin drop silence.

"You have a girl? No way, since when?" Antonio said jokingly, smirking as he riled up the younger detective. "And an athlete? Never thought you had it in you."

"Hmm, thanks a lot Tonio." Jay rolled his eyes, blinking rapidly as he stood up and stretched his arms. "That actually reminds me..."

The officers and detective watch the green eyed man fumble with his wallet and pull out several bills, accidentally slamming it down with way too much force on Adam's desk.

"Y/N refuses your payment and insists all of the skating lessons are free." Jay said, shrugging his shoulders at the confused faces of Makayla's parents. "She also said something about sponsorship and coaching but I can't remember."

"It's official Jay." Adam said with the most serious face ever, begrudgingly taking and putting the money back into his own wallet.

"I like Y/N more than you."

[imagobin]

Hiii!:) can you do head canons for the Zoldyck Siblings that have a sibling who is about 15 so like middle child sorta who always try’s to care for each sibling they have and is still is very skilled assassin and try’s to hold everything together please 😋

Omg okay I love this idea, just a poor 15 year old trying their best fhgk Thank you for requesting this, I'm gonna have lots of fun! Dividing this in sections, with what the Reader does for each sibling and their opinions on them!

🔯Being the Zoldyck's middle child HCs🔯

📍Illumi📍

Illumi is always working hard for the family, often taking on the most jobs, no matter how far they are. He doesn't show any sign of exhaustion, but you can always tell when your brother is feeling tired.

He takes a bit more time to reply during conversations, his footsteps actually make sound, his usually perfect hair has some strands out of place... you notice it all.

Seeing your brother overworking himself is really saddening for you, so you try to do small things for Illumi whenever you can: you ask him if there's any hit job you could handle instead of him "keeping them all to himself", you get him his favorite drink or snack... when you see him looking particularly stressed, you even offer to braid or brush his hair, and he's often taken off guard by this. "You want to brush my hair...? Hm, that does sound nice..."

Illumi doesn't know why you do all this stuff for him (he still hasn't caught on that you can see his fatigue), but he's really grateful for it, especially the hair-brushing; that always manages to calm his nerves like nothing else, it even makes him sleepy!

Needless to say, he's very proud of you as well. Your talent for assassination is undeniable, which is why he often agrees to hand a couple of his jobs over to you; he knows you can handle them.

Killua will always be his favorite sibling, but you also hold a special place in his heart since you seem to care so much about him.

He does however have a small tendency to still treat you like a little kid, giving you head pats and such when you've done a good job with an assassination, or to simply thank you.

---

🎮Milluki🎮

Needless to say, you rarely ever see Milluki leave his room, and nobody seems to be worried about that. You do though. You're always wondering what he might be doing in there, and if he's doing okay.

Honestly the rest of your family kind of acts as if he doesn't exist, unless they need something from him.

Milluki seems pretty used to this by now, so whenever you want to hang out with him, he just wonders why, or if you might have some ulterior motive. "W-wouldn't you rather go play with Kil? I'm busy here! ... though I guess I could make an exception-"

Of course, you just want to keep your brother company, plus, he's genuinely very fun to spend time with! You guys play games together, watch anime and eat snacks to your heart's content, nothing better than that for a chill afternoon.

He'd NEVER admit it right in front of you, but man, he loves when you visit him. He feels like you're the only person in the family he can talk about his interests to without being made fun of.

Milluki is a little bit jealous of your assassin skills, but doesn't really let that bother him, mostly because despite that, you don't act like you're better than him, you actually recognize his skills too, so there's like- mutual respect between the two of you.

He doesn't really take missions that require leaving the house anymore, but... he might give in if you were the one asking, he feels like you'd make a pretty good team with his brains and your brawn.

---

🪀Killua🪀

You and Killua are very close in age, you basically grew up together! So of course you two would be very close.

Among your brothers, he's definitely the most fun to hang out with. He's the outdoorsy type, which means that whenever you meet up, there's always adventures to be had, and sometimes... pranks to be pulled.

You're a bit more level-headed than him, since you're older, but you don't always manage to keep him out of trouble, which predictably isn't something your mother approves of. You're always getting scolded, because you should be setting an example for Killua, not encourage his rebellious side!

Killua finds the way Kikyo scolds you pretty annoying. "Who cares about what she wants? At least you're not boring like everyone else here!"

He also doesn't really understand why you still spend so much time with Illumi and Milluki, he not jealous, but would definitely love to know what pushes you to be so nice to them, especially Illumi.

You've explained your reasoning countless times: it's because you're family! You need to take care of each other, otherwise things might go wrong... he feels like you might be too nice. Not that it's a bad thing, just like Alluka, you bring him a sort of familial comfort that nobody else has there, which makes visiting home more bearable.

When Killua was still working as an assassin, he'd always be excited to go on missions with you. You two just get each other like that, and the job would always be completed flawlessly.

---

🧸Alluka🧸

Your parents always advise you against visiting Alluka, but do tou listen to them? Nope. Of course you're going to visit your little sister! She's always in that room on her own, you don't want her to feel lonely!

You play pretend with her, have cute tea parties with her plushies, and of course, say yes to anything she demands, which are usually very easy things, because you never take advantage of her wish-granting ability, and basically nobody else makes wishes to her anymore, because they're all too scared of her powers.

You always ask for something simple, like a hug, and she's always happy to comply.

Both her and Nanika are very happy that you visit them, and that you accept her for who she is. "You know, whenever you visit me- it makes me soooo happy I could explode!" You are definitely her favorite along with Killua.

You interacting so often with her has also given your parents a better understanding of her power, making them less scared of her, though they still don't allow her outside on her own, for fear that someone might misuse her ability.

She still explores the world with Killua, but whenever those two visit Kukuroo mountain, she's always extremely happy to see you again.

She's also very impressed with your skills as an assassin, and always jokes around, saying if Killua doesn't want to be the heir, you could be a candidate.

---

🪭Kalluto🪭

Kalluto is your youngest brother, so you feel pretty protective towards him.

He's often got this sort of melancholic aura around him, because he'd really want Killua to pay attention to him, but the white haired boy never does. He's a little bit jealous of you, because of how much you two hang out, but not too much, because he sees you also making the same effort with the rest of your siblings, him included.

When you see him looking a bit gloomy, you always offer to play with him, though he doesn't really know how to play a lot of outdoors games. He'll try to convince you he's okay with playing anything you want, but that's because he doesn't want to bore you.

You insist on doing what HE wants to do though. Your determination to let him choose what he wants to do makes him really happy, even if he doesn't really show it.

His idea of fun is always something pretty relaxing; his main hobby is making origami and paper dolls, and that's usually what you two end up doing. He's really good at both those things, and gets a bit embarrassed if you compliment him on that. "I-it's just a dragon origami... nothing too complex... ... thanks though"

He looks up to you, for being young and already so skilled, you're a natural with the family business.

You're always a bit concerned whenever he goes on missions with the Phantom Troupe, but you have noticed he's become more talkative since he's joined them.

---

[heavyhitterheaux]

how about readers friends judging her for liking baby jack and wanting to date the “wannabe rapper”

"Y/N, out of all the boys in this school you like Jackman?" Victoria asked while looking over at you. She didn't exactly turn up her nose about it, but you could tell that she didn't approve 100%.

You were currently staring off into space thinking about how the two of you were going to study later and then go get ice cream. It was Friday and the two of you would usually stay up talking all night in your backyard as you taught him all about space. You didn't know if he was into it like you were, but he always took his time to listen to you and make it known that your interests were important to him.

"Yes. What about it?" You asked as her, Blanca, and Jess shared a look.

"But why do you like him? I just…" Jess started to say, but you cut her off.

"I just love being around him. He was the first person I met when I came here and now he's truly one of my best friends. The blue eyes and curly hair are a plus. What's the big deal?"

"Not you crushing on the wannabe rapper." Blanca said and all you did was roll your eyes.

"He's really good. I actually think he'll get signed one day."

"A white boy from Kentucky? You can't be serious."

"People already believe that people in Kentucky can't read so what makes you think that they are going to take a rapper and a WHITE boy at that seriously in the industry?"

"We are only fifteen and he's only going to get better. And I help him write songs too. I know he’s going to catch the eye of someone in the industry and get signed."

"Y/N, as amazing as that sounds, I just don't think so."

"You three are supposed to be my friends and be encouraging and positive towards me."

"We are your friends! We might not know him as well as you do but…"

"Exactly. You don't know him as well as I do. I wish you three would take some time to get to know him and be able to see what I see. I really do like him and I like him a lot. He's the person that I spend most of my time with."

"We're just trying to get you to be realistic. And the friends he hangs around? They're a little questionable too."

"They treat me like I'm one of them."

"Exactly. So since Jack only probably sees you as one of the boys, do you think he likes you like you like him?"

"I think so. At least Urban told me he does and he tells him everything."

"We just… don't want you to get hurt."

"We want to look out for you."

"I'll be just fine." You answered while looking away from them so they wouldn't see you upset.

Just then Jack came up behind you and covered your eyes and all you did was laugh.

"Guess who?"

"Hmm, my husband Justin Bieber?" You answered and all you heard was Jack suck his teeth.

"Seriously?!"

"Are you going to sing my favorite song for me?"

"Now what makes you think I know any of his songs? Even though your favorite is One Less Lonely Girl… or so I've heard." Jack asked as he finally uncovered your eyes to sit next to you.

"Ladies." He said while greeting Jess, Blanca, and Victoria who told him hello in response.

"Because when I was sick, you kept me company as I kept playing it over and over again. When you get signed you better meet him and put in a good word for me so we can get married."

"Not if I marry you first." Jack quietly said and the only person who caught what he said was Jessica who got a small smile on her face.

"I didn't hear you, what did you say?" You asked him and all he did was smile and shake his head.

"Oh, nothing. Now, where did you want to go to get ice cream later?"

[storiesofmyhead]

Pogues - A Rafe Cameron Story

Summary: Rafe and Cassiopia have always had a complicated relationship. A big age gap of 3 years starting at age 16 and 19, Rafe constantly hurting her friends, and in the end her. But hurting he was never what he wanted to do, all he wanted to do was protect her. Put yourself in Cassi's shoes as you live through 4 seasons of The Outer Banks and a rough relationship with the one and only Rafe Cameron.

Also find on Wattpad! @CloveMadden

Season 1

Episode 1, Episode 2

Word count: 1541

"We're the pogues. And our mission this summer is to have a good time, all the time.'

Sitting on the top of a vacant house, John B - a longtime friend of hers - was playing with fate as he balanced next to her, a beer is his hand.

"That's what a- three-story fall to the deck?" Pope said sarcastically. "I'd give you about a one in three chance of survival." He squinted looking up into the sun.

"Hm," John B licks his finger before lifting it up to the sky. "Show I do it?" He jokingly asks.

"Ya, you should jump." Pope answers, holding his drill up to the sky towards John B like a gun. "I'll shoot you on the way down."

"You gonna shoot me." John B plays along holding his finger up like a gun, playfully shotting down at Pope.

"Yep."

Shaking her head, Cassiopia looks down hearing Kie's footsteps come out of the house. "They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers." She throws her hands up, annoyed at the insensitivity towards the sea creatures and sea life.

"Of course, they are why wouldn't they?" Pope says as if it's the most obvious thing.

"Used to be a turtle habitat but, who cares about the turtles, I guess." She rolls her eyes, walking out onto the dec. More annoyed than she was before.

"I can't have cold towels." JJ jokes as Kie looks up at the three.

"Can you please not kill yourself?" Kie asks sarcastically, squinting her eyes up at him as Cassiopia, or Cass/Cassi for short, laughed at his antics.

"Don't you drop that beer," JJ threatens. "I'm not giving you another one."

Though despite JJ's threat, John B still managed to drop it not even 30 seconds after the warning, whining as he watches it smash on the ground, Casi slapping his leg, "You idiot," as she laughs shaking her head.

"Of course you did. Like right when I said." JJ shakes his head in disbelief as John B dramatically mourns his lost drink.

"Casi! Casi, where the fuck are you!" a familiar voice yelled from behind the house, near the road.

Rolling her eyes she stands, balancing her way to the other side of the house where none other than Rafe Camerom stood. His tongue pushing his cheek out, a clear sign of his annoyance, as he scowled his eyes searching the house.

All the pogues go silent, watching as Cassi slides down the roof until she was invisible, hidden by the other side of house.

Rafe's eyes widen, his body moving towards the house at a quick pace as he watches her climb down the house. "What the fuck are you doing up there?" He scolds. "That's so fucking dangerous. What were you thinking? You could've gotten hurt." His hands grab at her waist lifting her up away from the side of the house until she was safely on the ground.

"I'm fine, Rafe." She breaths out, annoyed at his concern. Well, it wasn't his concern she was annoyed about. She loved that he cared for her and knew he only wanted her to be safe, but sometimes he was a little overprotective. But it was everything she did that concerned him, he was always annoyed when he found her hanging out with the pogues doing some stupid or dangerous shit. And it wasn't just the fact that she was hanging out with the pogues, it was the fact that she wasn't hanging out with him and maybe because she picked the pogues over him.

"How many times have I told you, not to go some stupid shit with those pogues," he spit, saying the word pogue as if it was venom.

"Those pogues, are my friends." She scowled at him, now re-thinking her plans with him.

Huffing, he throws his head back running his fingers through his hair. "Ok. I'm sorry." He says looking back down at the girl in front of him. Her lips out in a pout, her arms crossed as she avoids eye contact.

"Baby-" His eyes catching the on-looking eyes and ears of the pogue's that try to catch their conversation. "Cassi, I'm sorry. Ok? I didn't mean to hurt you; I was just worried." He watches her eyes move from the ground up to him, before glancing back at her friend that try to eavesdrop.

"I forgive you. I know you just want what's best for me." She smiles up at him, his eyes showing true compassion and love as he gives her a small smile back.

"I wish I could kiss you right now. Just to show you how much I love you." He slightly shakes his head, breathing out, his eyes fluttering.

Giggling she grabs his hand and pulls him towards his truck that waits for them parked on the side of the road. Shaking his head, he allows her to pull him as they reach the passenger seat. Opening the door for her, he waits until she sat comfortably in the seat before closing the door and walking to the other side.

'And that's my friend, Cassi. Well, her real name's Cassiopia but we call her Cass or Cassi for short. She's a pogue through and through, but she has this weird relationship with the Camerons. After her dad died, I guess they took her in for a while until her mom came back and then she went back to full pogue. But no matter what Rafe Cameron never left her and refused to believe that she was even a 'dirty pogue' as he likes to call it. Don't really know their deal, but they're close. And ya. That's my crew.'

Gasping, Cassi shoots up breathing heavily now awake thanks to the loud thunder and rain that hit the house. Moaning softly Rafe sits up next to her, his arms wrapping around her waist and his head falling on her shoulder as he digs it into the junction between her neck and shoulder. Placing soft kisses down her neck and collarbone he asks, "What's wrong baby?"

"Nothing," She mutters, slightly shaking her head. "Just the thunder. It's loud. Go back to sleep."

"I can't sleep knowing that you're awake." He mutters, placing a kiss on her lips. "C'mere." He opens his arms pulling her on top of him. "I'll keep you safe, I won't let anything hurt you. I promise." He says placing one more kiss on her head as his hand covers the ear that isn't laying on his chest.

Listening to his heartbeat and his soft breaths, she allows it to lull her back to sleep. The raging storm outside long forgotten.

Moaning, Cassi turns over in the bed to lay on her stomach, pushing her head deeper into the pillow. Trying to block the bright light beams that had tried to wake her up in the first place.

"Cassi, stop moving." She hears Rafe groan from beside her. the arm that once held her close to his side, now laid under her. his grip tight as he rolls her on top of him as if she weighs nothing, which to him, she didn't.

"Mmm, Rafe." She hums, placing kisses on his bare chest moving up to his neck and jaw.

Eyes fluttering open, he smirks at her lifting his hand up to grip her chin and connect their lips. "My pretty girl." He says the rasp in his voice signaling that he just woke up.

Giggling softly, she places a few more kisses on his lips, sitting up to now straddle his hips. He reaches up to push her messy hair behind her ears, smiling tiredly up at her. "You're so fucking pretty. Oh, the things I want to do to you."

Bitting her lips she runs her hands up and down his torso, tracing his abs. His own hands falling to lay comfortably on her hips. "Ya? What do you want to do to me? Hm?"

"Oh," he chuckles, pulling her hips harder into his. "You feel that baby? Feel what you do to me?" He pouts, his bottom lip jutted out.

Leaning down she places another kiss on his lips before they’re interrupted by Rafe’s voice calling up the stairs.

“Sarah!” 

Groaning Rafe rolls his eyes, Cassi swinging her leg up and off of him, jumping off the bed. “No, baby~ Come back~” He whines, his hands reaching out to her.

“You're such a baby.” She giggles, opening his closet and grabbing one of his shirts out of it. 

Turning around she watched him sit up, placing a pillow on his lap, his eyes looking her up and down. The sight of her only wearing a pair of spandex and his shirt that stopped just above her knees, left barely anything to the imagination. 

"Are you hungry? I can makeeeee~" She drawls out as she tries to think of something, since the power was still out.

"Can I have you." His eyebrows lift up, his lips pulling up into a smirk.

Rolling her eyes, "How about yogurt and fruit." She sends him a smile.

"Ok." He smiles back. "I'll be right down."

"Got it." She answers happily before walking out of the room and down the stairs.

Join the tag list!

@carolina6677

[deadpool15]

Girl please

I'm walking around trying to gather all my shit. I can't ever find shit in this bitch. "Baby, if you can't come that absolutely fine. I just thought since you were in Korea, well, you know.." I turn around and stare at the phone. "Kirsten Dogen, you sit there and pass off a fake ass undertone with me again, and you are not getting those snacks you like when I pull up. Don't throw shade at me, young lady." I hear a bunch of laughs coming from the phone which I can't really identify, I guess those are the other girls she is doing the photoshoot with. Serves her right. I don't take the back talk. "Baby, really legal government names, that's how we gonna play it." She says with a pout on that God forsaken beautiful fucking face. But I realize to back down. "And did, what's your point."

"Also, your fav boots are in our closet, in my side, sweetie," When I heard those words, I turned around, and I almost got whiplash. "Why would MY boots be on your side, huh?" She stares at me sheepishly before trying to make it seem like someone is calling her, and quickly saying she had to go. I sit there in disbelief, "I know she did not just hang up on me. And proceeded to not answer my question at that. Girl literally just cut me off like I wasn't talking." After a while of absolute bullshit I finally decided to finish getting ready. It was pretty hot in Korea, so I went for some shorts and a crop. With my favorite boots, of course. I then decided to call up Yeonjun. Me and that man had been friends ever since his family decided to randomly pull up to California for a couple of years. I showed him around, and his mom used to joke about us being together. Then he came back to Korea and our parents thought it would be a good idea to send each other letters.

Our friendship has lasted for what felt like a lifetime, and I love that dude. Through Kirsten couldn't stand him. I felt like she had just never taken the time to give him a chance. Sure, Yeonjun was flirty sometimes, but that's just him as a person, and he knew when to back off. I would never hurt my wife, and sometimes, I felt like she didn't trust me. I mean, Yeonjun was literally my right hand at our wedding. Out there standing next to me prepared me for my life, cheering the loudest when we officially got married. It even got to the point where she shit talked him once and got angry at me. Like true enough, I love my wife, and I love my bestie, so I wanted them to get along. Hopefully, today works out. I had been signed to Hybe labels as an official choreographer, mainly working with newjeans because those are my girls, but I had worked with other groups as well. The public was quite familiar with me and our friendship, so it was never any dating rumors. Sure, people wanted us together, but that's their issue. I'm happily married.

Yeonjun had pulled up in his van. Opened the door before I hit him in the head. "Why are you always so aggressive all the time? There was literally no need for that hit, Cece." I just push him in the van before grabbing his face. Every time I go to America, I leave for a while. I had to take some other jobs that were literally amazing. Though when I come back, I always make it a habit of checking Yeonjun. Companies are known to starve their idols with fucked up so called diets and I refused to allow it to happen to my bestie. I mean, I almost beat a staff ass for suggesting my litter hyein needed to lose a couple of pounds. "You look good, just doing my family checks." He smiled at me, "I'm glad you care about my health so much, sis." We sat there in the car just catching up on all the shig we have missed in life. Before I told him we would be going to see Kirsten, he just smiled and said, "That's cool." Weridly enough he never had a issue with her, and never tried to say anything back when she insulted him stating she is your wife and you my little sister, I understand why she is jealous but I wouldn't disrespect you other half. My brother is just too amazing. Sometimes, I feel like he read that shit from a magazine.

We pulled up the building, seeing workers running around and losing their minds, trying to make sure everything was perfect. As I walked inside, I heard a scream typical, it what I get for being koreas number it boy with me. Yeonjun just smiles and embraces all the attention. He has also been a suckered for the spotlight. While he is doing that, I tell him I'll go in the back to find Kirsten. I walk away, thankfully, running into Funky Y and greeting her, of course. She is all smiles and asking me all these questions before I cut the conversation short and ask about Kristen. "She is in the back with makeup." I nod and thank her before making my way back there. Seeing her getting all dolled up dripped down in Calvin Klein for the shoot, "Well, look at you." Hearing my voice, she immediately turns around before jumping up to hug me. "Omg, you're finally here. I thought you were made at me about the boot thing. I just wore them at the beginning of the show, to like reveal us. So it technically wasn't that long." I brush her hair out of her face, taking a goof look at her. "I don't care that you wore them, I care that you hung up on me while we were still talking. Don't think I forgot about that. And there shall be punishments in order, baby." I smirk once I see her scared face before kissing her head, trying not to mess up her makeup.

"Guys, it took me forever to find you. It's like a lot of rooms in here. Hi, Kirsten. You look great. What's the shoot for?" Yeonjun asks while running in her out of breath, I turn and laugh at him before turning back to her and see her face. "It's Calvin Klein, pretty obvious to anyone with a brain." She states with a look of pure annoyance while staring at him. Then whispered in my ear why you had to bring him. I grip her arm as a warning, while yeonjun asks us if we want anything to drink, I tell him I'll have an apple juice before Kirsten says nothing from you. "OK, fucking stop it. I try my very best not to take sides because I care about both of you and want you to equally get along. But this shit ends now," I see her face try to turn into a pout before I squeeze her side, letting her know I'm not dealing with the fake shit. "No more animosity or any of that shit, got it." They both look at each other before Yeonjun randomly hugs us both. "I don't have a problem with you, Kirsten. If anything, I'm glad that my litter sister was able to find you, though I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you feel angry. I look over to her, stating it's her turn, and she sighs, "You didn't really do anything, it's just you two are so close, and I know you don't like her like that. But I told myself that if I hated you, it would be easier. Which is a really hard thing to do since you are so happy and bright. I was insecure, and I took it out of you, but then I realized you two are just like siblings, and I felt stupid and thought it was all in my head."

Yeonjun hugs us closer before saying he will give us a minute while patting Kirsten on the back. "Baby, your thoughts are never stupid, and if you feel so strongly, you come and talk to me. We are a team, and till death, do us part remember." She smiles while hugging me tighter and kissing all over my face. "It's ok, I'll try my best to make it up, Yeonjun, for all the shit I put him through. I know he is a nice guy." I just rock her from side to side while listening. "That's amazing, baby, and don't think I forgot about your punishment from earlier. You are in for it when we get home, baby." I tell her while gripping her ass.

Request by @kirsmyonlyone

[shanks-the-wino]

Shanks X CisFem Reader

Hello

Sake8zero : There has to be a reason a pretty young lady would be on a site like this.

Pyt07: Not particularly.

Pyt07: Mostly I was bored. Thank you for the compliment btw.

Sake8zero: I see.

Sake8zero: Just here stealing hearts then?

Pyt07: Hah. Sure

Pyt07 : and you're just here to chat I suppose.

Sake8zero: It does pass the time.

Pyt07: How do you get away with no profile picture?

Sake8zero: Keeping some mystery

Sake8zero: People don't seem to appreciate the art of conversation anymore

Pyt07: There is that.

"F/N? Helllooooo?" The greenette across from you pulled your attention away from your phone.

"Sorry." You tossed him a small smile.

"Still playing with that dating site?" He poked at the food on his plate.

"Yeah most of the guys on here are creeps though."

"Well, you seemed to be pretty into whomever that is." He smirked pointing his fork at you.

"Shut it. This guy seems pretty polite..."

"But?" Zoro asked.

"He's ten years older than me." You sighed.

Not that an age gap is bad but ten years is quite a lot. Even if he was nice so far you weren't sure you'd find much common ground. Having someone to chat with wouldn't be terrible though

"What's the big deal. You're 27 it's not like you're in high school." Zoro grunted.

"Well that's true but when I was starting high school he was graduating college."

"At the very least he could be a sugar daddy." The greenette laughed.

"Why do I hang out with you?" You cut your eyes at him.

"Because I'm your favorite cousin, you love me and I'm irreplaceable." He retorted smugly.

"Alright...ya got me there." You sighed in defeat.

"So, give the old guy a shot. You might like him."

"But he doesn't have any pictures up. What he's like deformed or has a big gnarly scar-" You cut yourself off to back pedal as your cousin deadpanned, "I-I mean not like yours, which is mysterious and handsome. I just mean like what if like half his face is gone or something?"

"If that is the case maybe he wants people to get to like him for who he is and not what's adding to or lacking from his face."

"When did you get so mature?" You muttered lowering your gaze.

___________

"So who's this guy Zoro told me you're talking to online?" Nami asked Leaning over the computer at her station.

"Why does he have such a big mouth?" You rolled your eyes, "We've chatted for maybe two and a half weeks. He's just nice it's really no big deal."

"Zoro said he's 10 years older than you." She whistled.

"He's dead that's it."

She frowned, "Hey I came in early today just to talk to you about this. You could give me something to work with here!"

"I didn't ask you to! And your mouthy boyfriend needs to mind his own business." You snapped.

"Hey – you're still related don't forget." She chuckled swooping her ginger hair behind her ear.

"Don't remind me." You rolled your eyes.

A few beats of silence passed as you watched the national morning show intro start on the TV in the lobby. Both you and Nami worked at the front desk of a privately-owned resort, you worked the overnight auditor shift.

"Fine... I've got a half hour to kill anyway. Yes, he's older than me. No, I don't think I like him like that. He will in no way shape or form become my sugar daddy. He only signed up for this site to get over his ex-wife... just like I signed up to get over Killer." Nami's eyes widened as she took in your rapid-fire statements.

Your phone pinged.

Sake8zero: Good morning! Hope you had a good night.

A grin spread across Nami's face, "It's him, isn't it?"

"So?"

"SO?! He tells you good morning? He totally likes you. Who sends good morning texts?" She paused and interrupted you, "Boyfriends, that's who."

Pyt07: Morning. It wasn't bad but I'm about to slap the morning shift.

Sake8zero: Not a morning person – noted

Pyt07: I've been up all night remember?

Pyt07: I guess I'm not an anytime person

Sake8zero: I don't believe it.

"Alright your time is up. I'm clocking out early." You hopped over the counter as Nami scoffed.

Sake8zero: I'm almost at the office but you have a good day's rest

Pyt07: Yeah have a good day at work. I'll probably be awake a little after lunch time.

You didn't know what compelled you to share that information. Well, you had gotten used to his messages. Nights when he fell asleep early were weirdly lonely. Of course, you weren't about to admit that to a soul.

____________

Sake8zero: How is the night shift?

Pyt07: Can't complain I guess. The hotel is pretty empty tonight so after reports should be smooth sailing.

Pyt07: Why are you awake right now anyway?

Sake8zero: Talking to you of course

Pyt07: Right.

Pyt07: But really

Sake8zero : How do you do that?

Sake8zero: couldn't sleep. It wasn't a great day

Pyt07: Its been a month, weirdly I can tell when something is bothering you.

Pyt07: that probably doesn't make sense

Pyt07: What happened?

Sake8zero: Ran into the ex wife

Sake8zero: it makes sense to me...

Pyt07: I thought you guys were on good terms?

Sake8zero: we are

Sake8zero: she's getting remarried

Pyt07: ah... I see

Sake8zero: don't misunderstand - I don't want to be with her. There are reasons it didn't work.

Pyt07: I get it

Pyt07: it's still kind of a shock

Sake8zero: And a blow to the ego I guess

Pyt07: Well you're out there doing your own thing

Sake8zero: true I suppose

Pyt07: don't be so down about it. Good things come to those who wait right?

Sake8zero: Look at you cheering an old man up.

Pyt07: oh shut up.

Pyt07: You aren't that old

Sake8zero: Hey is there a TV in the lobby?

Pyt07: of course, why?

Sake8zero: There's a good Hitchcock movie on the classic movie channel.

Pyt07: My statement about your age has be retracted

Sake8zero: How mean!

Sake8zero: I was born in the 80's you know

Pyt70: In 80 you mean.

Sake8zero: 😭😭

Pyt07: Don't cry. It isn't becoming of a man your age.

Sake8zero: Woooooow

Sake8zero: I pour my heart out and this is what I get

Pyt07: Come on now. I'm playing and you know it.

Sake8zero: ...

Pyt07: OK geez.

Pyt07: I'm sorry

Sake8zero: I can't stay mad at such a cute face

Sake8zero: Are you gonna watch this movie with me or what?

Pyt07: 😧

Pyt07: Oh - Rear Window... I know this one. Nosey neighbor thinks the guy across from him killed his wife right?

Sake8zero: Exactly.

Sake8zero: it's my favorite.

You continued to watch the movie as you ran your reports and chatted with the still nameless man. The movie wasn't bad and his commentary and random trivia made you chuckle.

Sake8zero: Maybe I'm just delirious, but this was kinda fun

Pyt07: It is 6AM

Pyt07 : You're delirious.

Sake8zero: You're always on huh?

Pyt07: Got me in a LOT of trouble growing up

Sake8zero: It's weirdly cute

Pyt07: Weirdly? I'm hurt

Sake8zero: It's a compliment. I promise.

Pyt07: Oh thank you! I'm so flattered.

Sake8zero: I think we should meet

He'd erased and rewrote the message three times. Why did he send it? There was no way you'd be willing to meet a guy so much older without even knowing what he looked like. And divorced? You're young. You don't need that kind of baggage.

He turned his phone off and threw it on the floor.

[likablemuffin]

CHIRPING DONNIE >:)

(From: Random ROTTMNT oneshots, requested story)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, where's Donnie?"

Y/n had been invited over to hang out with the boys, but Donnie hadn't been there for some reason. 

"Oh yeah! I think he's in his lab!" Mikey yells at them as if they were on the opposite side of the room. "Huh. Well, do you think I could go get him?" Y/n says as they stand up. "I don't know why we wouldn't let you." Leo states. Y/n shrugs and heads up the stairs to Donnie's lab. 

When Y/n enters Donnie's lab, they're kind of surprised that it's not extremely dirty like last time. Sure, it's a bit messy, but not any more than the normal person. 

"Hey, Don Don? Me and your brothers are hanging out downstairs. Would you like to join us?" Donnie doesn't say anything, but Y/n can see him shake his head. "Hm. Well, are you going to come down anytime in the near future? You've been in here for a while, I'm sure." Donnie waves his hand at Y/n as if he is saying, "That's nice. You can go now."

Y/n sighs and walks up behind Donnie's chair, putting their hands on Donnie's shoulders. Donnie flinches but doesn't make any moves to look at them. "Donnie, please? Just come downstairs for a bit. Just get some fresh air, you know?" Donnie shakes his head and continues tampering with whatever the thing was that was on his desk. 

Y/n scoffs and moves to put their arms around Donnie's shoulders in an awkward hug from behind. "Pleaseeeee Donnieee? It would make me really happy." Donnie pauses as if he's thinking about it but ends up shrugging his shoulders to get Y/n off. Y/n frowns and spins Donnie's chair around so he has to look at them.

"What is up with you today? I just want you to have a good time, and you're acting like I'm trying to drag you through hell or something." Donnie shrugs and is about to most likely say something snarky, but he instead...

Chirps.

Donnie's breath hitches, and his face instantly grows hot and red. Y/n's jaw drops. "D-Did you just...chirp? Like....turtle chirp?" Donnie quickly turns his chair around again and face plants onto his desk. "Hey hey. I asked you a question. You'd better answer it." Y/n says as they move to the side of Donnie's desk. Donnie moves his head so he's looking at Y/n.

Donnie opens his mouth to say something but closes it without saying anything and turns his face back onto his desk again. Y/n shakes him. "Donnieeeeeee...." Donnie grumbles and shoves Y/n's hands away. Y/n playfully scoffs in irritation and puts their chin on Donnie's head. "Please Donnie? Just come downstairs for a bit."

Donnie lifts his face off of his desk and tries to speak again, but another chirp comes out instead. Donnie deeply inhales before he gets off of his chair as fast as he possibly can and scurries under his bed. "A- Donnie! Come back here, you." Y/n chases after him, and when they look under the bed, they see Donnie curled up into a ball and glaring at them. 

"Oh, come on, Don-Bon. Are you embarrassed because you're chirping?" Donnie hesitates for a bit before he nods. "Ah. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think it's pretty cute." 

Donnie's eyes light up, and he's about to ask something before he realizes he'll probably just chirp again. "Could I ask why you're chirping, though? Does it just like...happen sometimes? Or..." Donnie signs, "It usually happens when I get really into the zone." Y/n nods. That makes sense, they suppose.

"So...I guess that means you wouldn't want to go downstairs with the others then..?" Donnie gives them an unimpressed look and nods. "Well, I guess we could just stay here then." Donnie blinks and signs, "Wait, you're going to stay here?" Y/n starts crawling under Donnie's bed. "Well, yeah. Can't just leave you alone when everyone else is having fun can we?" Even though Donnie is trying to act like he doesn't want Y/n to come under the bed with him, he makes room for them.

Y/n smiles at him as they see him move over to the side for them. "Thanks!" They sit next to Donnie, and they both just chill in each other's presence for a while. 

Eventually, Y/n looks at Donnie with a mischievous expression and inches closer slightly. Donnie squints his eyes at Y/n as they slowly come closer to him. Suddenly, Y/n hugs Donnie and squeezes him tightly. Donnie squeaks in surprise as Y/n covers his face in little kisses. 

Donnie struggles to get Y/n off of him as Y/n chuckles. "GET OFF OF ME, VERMIN!!" Y/n instantly lets go of him. "Ah, there you are! Welcome back to the land of speaking." Y/n gives Donnie a smug look, and Donnie looks like he's three seconds away from slapping it off of their face. "If you do not stop looking at me like that, I will not hesitate to slap you." Y/n lets out an offended gasp and puts their hand on their chest. "You would never!" "Yean, no, I would."

Y/n snorts and starts crawling out from under the bed. "Hey, wait, where are you going?" Donnie asks. "Leaving? What, do you want me to stay?" Donnie's face heats up, and he crosses his arms and huffs. "W-Well no, but you know..." 

Y/n chuckles and drags Donnie out from under the bed by his arm. Donnie squeaks again as they do so. Once they're out from under the bed, Y/n helps Donnie to his feet. "How about you come downstairs instead?" Donnie thinks for a bit and then shrugs. "I guess." Y/n starts laughing evilly and runs out of Donnie's lab, dragging Donnie with them. "I HAVE COLLECTED DONNIE!!!!!" Y/n screams as they drag Donnie down the stairs with them. "Hey! I didn't say you could do this!!" Donnie says as he struggles to keep up with Y/n.

He has a great time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ganjies]

Hiii! Can I get Teru with a s/o who’s quiet at first but as time passes and they warm to him, their sassy and a little bit mean, a little. Have a nice day :)

i see you're a Teru lover , honestly same

take your time

It's pretty normal to people not warming up to others when they first meet , giving them a calm and quite vibe of yourself before actually showing off the real you , though this could be seen as an hard task if we're talking about showing your personality to the prince of the school , Teru Minamoto.

You don't know exactly how and when he started to hang out with you more and more everyday , but this didn't help you to get out to your shell , how could you anyways : everyone sees him as the perfect boy in the whole school , a charming , kind and smart prince , everyone is lucly to have him around ; of course you agreed to them , that's why if you would show your trues self , you think that he wouldn't like you. You often joke with your friends , using irony and all , so you always think that he would prefer someone more calmer.

Months went by pretty fast , you and Teru got much closer from before. What you didn't know is that he always sees you talking to your friends , and your behaviour is different from what you act with him , he wonders if the change of personality its because you can't stand being with him and he's just forcing you to be with him

And obviously he will invite you to the students council room to talk about it , he really like you and doesn't want to make uncomfortable in any way being this close to you

It wasn't rare for him to invite you there when Akane isn't with him , just to talk with him and make his work more enjoyable ; he's always the one to talk but today you'll be the one to speak.

You knocked on the door and heard a " come in " from the boy ; you entered the room and found him with a pile of papers beside him as always. He looked up at you and smiled , that smile that could make your heart beat as fast as it could , making your head low down from the embarrassment , though Teru took it as a sign for you to not look at him. He began to talk

" [ Name ] , i was waiting for you ! Please take a seat on the sofà , i really want to talk to you about something " your stomach twisted at that sentence , it could've been anything , he wouldn't had to invite you to the council room if it was a good news so it had to be something bad " about what ? " you asked trying to not give in to the anxiety. He gets up from his chair and seats beside you " i've noticed the way you're around me and the way you act around your friends ; when you're with them you act more .. carefree. Is it because , you despise me [ name ] , you know .. i really like you , and i wouldn't mind you acting like yourself with me. But if you do really despise me , then i apologize for not getting it sooner "

You exploded after hearing those words , you would've never guessed Teru felt this way towards you , and you felt so dumb to let him think you despised him

What helped you return to the actual situaton was him squeezing your hands waiting for an answer " i never hated you Teru ... i really do like you too , its just that i thought you wouldn't like me for what i really am , and thinking about it now its sound really dumb " you both laughed at your comment.

It didn't take long for you two officially dating ; you still haven't warmed up to him totally but he's glad you can crack some jokes around him instead of nodding on what he's saying , he loves you and your personality , and he doesn't care how much will have to wait for you to warm up to him , he will do it , wait for you until you're ready

[dgalerab]

The thing that haunts him for years to come is that Yamada is already dead when he and Shirakumo start celebrating.

In retrospect, the way he and Shirakumo whoop and shriek and bound to each other and grip each other's arms, screaming, "You did it! I did it!" sickens him. He doesn't remember later where it happens, but Shirakumo grips his head and shouts, "Hizashi is going to be so proud of you!" and he remembers the warmth that had filled him imagining Yamada's sly grin and the sparkling anticipation of awaiting his praise, and it twists his insides into knots whenever he does.

He doesn't remember the specifics of finding out as well, which feels like an odd betrayal for some reason. Someone puts Yamada's bloody shades in his hands, though he doesn't remember if it's Sensoji or Shirakumo. He doesn't remember crying, though he knows his face is wet with tears when Shirakumo gently leads him home, tells him they need to get out of the rain before he catches a cold.

The next thing he remembers clearly years later when he thinks back on it, is the suffocating quiet of class a few days later, when he and Shirakumo go back after a few days of suffocating in their homes because UA had let them take a few days to recover.

Everyone is extra quiet around them, and Shirakumo speaks to him softly and gently whenever he does, and Shouta can't remember thinking back what he'd whispered to him when he'd finally snapped, just remembers kicking his desk over and leaping at Shirakumo with a scream, the way he'd shouted, "Stop FUCKING whispering at me!!!" even though they were in the middle of class and it made no sense.

And Shirakumo, a good few centimeters taller than Shouta, had loyally picked him up and pulled him into a crashing tackle and screamed back, "At least I'm saying something!"

From there it had devolved mostly into guttural and incoherent screaming, snarling, crashing against desks as they rolled and palmed at each other's faces, unwilling to genuinely fight but unable to stop.

They'd gotten detention of course, though their teachers were sympathetic when doing it, and had surreptitiously left the room during it.

"Why did you let me do that," Shouta had said, face down on the desk.

"I thought we'd both feel better if we raised our voices," Shirakumo had said. "I guess I was a little relieved when you did."

"We should have been there," Shouta had said. "Somehow."

And Shirakumo had paused, and Shouta always wonders, but never asks, what he'd been considering then. "He loved you," he'd said, finally, and for years to come Shouta won't know if he's glad he had or if he wished he hadn't. "So much. He wouldn't have wanted you blame yourself."

"Shut up," Shouta had said. "Don't say that to me."

"He was my best friend," Shirakumo had said. "And I'll say it if I want. He loved you, he really did."

---

A dozen or so screaming matches later, they start an agency together.

Shirakumo hangs a signed picture of Yamada on the grainy sound system they have in their office - something Yamada had given him with a grin back in the day, "for when his autograph cost an arm and a leg."

Shouta tells him the sound quality is awful and that Yamada would have been disgusted at being associated with that thing. Shirakumo pouts at him and reminds him they can't afford better.

Shouta spends his first paycheck on better speakers.

Shirakumo dates dozens of people. He loves dating. Shouta doesn't date any.

He finds a sort of melancholy comfort in knowing his love life ended before it had a chance to begin. It's one less thing to worry about.

He starts teaching a few years into hero work, the moment that UA will accept him. He knows he has one thing no other teacher does - the ability to remind students not to rely on their Quirks too much.

Shirakumo follows after the next year, and Kayama the year after him.

Shouta doesn't know if Yamada would have enjoyed teaching, but the three of them toast to him every time they go out drinking together.

---

The year All Might starts teaching is different.

Unsurprising - after all, the Number One hero teaching is a big deal.

But it's also the students - some of the most promising and most insane he's seen in all his years of teaching. A pack of absolutely feral lion kittens.

Shouta's never been willing to let a single one of his students get hurt in ways they couldn't recover from, but he's more protective of this bunch than the ones he's had before.

So of course he jumps right into the fray when they're attacked. Of course he takes on the villains head on, not only to protect his students, but to make sure they know they're being protected. Of course he ignores the rending scream that splits apart the ground of USJ, scattering his students, despite the chill that runs through him at it.

It's not like voice quirks are that rare, and it doesn't take that much research to know he went to school with Yamada, and the internet is full of clips of his voice. Besides, Shouta tells himself, in the split second he allows himself to catch his breath between punches, that's not how he sounded. It's too animal, not enough style.

It's a nasty fucking trick, though, and Shouta lets it fuel his punches and kicks. The longer he can stay focused and keep as many villains as possible distracted, the more time it gives his students to regroup and deal with the situation.

They're fresh and inexperienced, but they're capable. Shouta just needs to give them the chance to survive.

He can only hope he gives them enough before he's taken down by the Nomu. As long as his students make it out, whatever happens to him is fine.

"One of the little brats made it out," a voice comes.

It's a good imitation, Shouta will admit. There's a rattling, manic edge to it, a shuddering vibration that shivers down his spine, like a voice echoing through a dark cavern as its owner closes down on its prey, but beneath that - gods, it does sound like him.

He struggles to lift his head from where he's being twisted into the ground, arms pulled back and shattered, but now that he's all but done for, he can't help it. Has to confirm to himself that it's not--

The air freezes in his chest.

Green eyes blaze out at him from behind a curtain of long, sallow blonde hair. Greenish scars twist over its - his? - face as he grins, predatory and wild.

Races over like a dog noticing a chewtoy.

"What's this pretty thing?" it croons, and that grotesque rattle shakes through his body like a building storm, with a terror that nearly makes him scream.

A cold, slimy tongue licks up his face. His blood runs cold and he has to clamp down on a terrified sob.

This can't be real. It's a trick, a fake...

Clawed fingers skim over his hair, down the sides of his face, a horrible mockery of tenderness.

"Hey. Drop it. Bad dog," the head villain growls.

The creature hisses at him, grips Shouta's chin possessively.

The villain snaps at him, a sulking child. "Stupid thing." He gives a little noise of discontent, then sighs, and...

He lunges quickly.

Shouta only has a split second to activate his quirk before he grabs Asui.

He has to protect his students. That's all he can think about now. The students.

The Nomu pulls him back and slams him into the ground with enough force to crack the concrete.

As the blackness rushes in to claim him, he thinks he can hear the creature howl in protest.

He loved you, Shouta can hear Shirakumo saying, before he loses consciousness entirely. He really did.

[ryeriy]

I think he knows

warnings: flirtatious activity

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a/n: I had this idea when I was half asleep and wrote it in my notes and so this might be bad but it is what is. Also, I'm so close to 100 of you guys and I'm so happy! Thank you for your support!

mentions: @nowandkei @67-angelofthelordme-67 @huggy-hischier4394 @trevorzegrizz

Mat and I have been friends since sophomore year in high school. I guess you could call us best friends but I wouldn't say that. Me and Mathews relationship is confusing. Sometimes I can't tell if he wants to be just friends or more than that. That's just his personality though. He's a flirtatious person...and very charming...and hot. But that doesn't matter. What matters is I just can't read him and you think by know I would be able to see the signs but I haven't been able to. Maybe it's the fact I've been to worried about the signs to even see them.

We've been friends since sophomore year. Little does he know that I've had a crush on him since senior year of high school. The more time I've spent with Mat, the more time I realized I've like him. I've never told Mat I have liked him for years because I am scared it's going to ruin our relationship. We have to good of a relationship and for too long just to ruin it. Besides if he really liked me he probably would've said something anyways.

Tonight me and Mat are going out to the bar with a few close friends to celebrate our accomplishments. Mat's hockey career, Molly's new job, James's just became a dad, and my graduation of medical school. The four of us occasionally go out to dinner or to get drinks and hang out. The four of us aren't really a friend group but we hang out once and while. Me and Mat are closer to each other and Molly and James are the same way. Mathew was coming to pick me up since I didn't feel like driving. I was sitting on my couch watch reruns of friends on my TV waiting for Mathew to be here. "Can he hurry up." I say outlook to myself. Just as I say that I hear a knock at the door. I walk over to the front door and open it to see him standing there. "You look nice tonight." He says. "You don't look to bad yourself."

Before closing my door I grabbed my purse and keys locking the door behind me as I started to walk down the stairs Mathew held my hand. Weird. He never does that. He even opens and closes his car door for me. Usually when I get a ride from him he never does that. "You're acting weird." I say as he pulls out of my driveway and I can see his face have a wide smirk on it letting out a chuckle. "Am I though?" He said. That made me think. All I think is somehow he found out I like him and is acting all weird on me. Oh God! What if that's exactly what happened?!

Sitting in silence as he drove to the bar where we are going to meet Molly and James. The silence is killing me. Breaking the silence "how's life been treating you." Mathew says. "Same old stuff, still single, still alone, still not rich yet. What about the famous Mathew Barzal, how's life been treating you lately? Any new girls?" I ask back started making conversation. We still had another twenty minutes till we arrived. "Nope, but I've got my eye on one." His face still focusing on the road and not facing me at all. I have my face looking at him as he drives. Makes me think who this mystery girl is. "Tell me more about this mystery girl, Mat." He chuckles to himself. "Wouldn't you want to know." He says to me. "Oh you would do the same thing if it was me!" I exclaimed to him.

As he kept driving I kept wondering about this mystery women and why is he keeping her mystery. Usually he has no problem telling me everything but this time it's just nothing. "Well if you must know, my mystery girl is very pretty, smart, kind, caring, and probably the most amazing person I've ever met." His voice was soft. He really cares about this girl and I can tell based on his voice. "This mystery girl sounds wonderful." I say. I really want to feel happy for him but it's so hard when he likes someone else.

Arriving at the bar we got out of the car and he walked next to me as we walked inside searching for Molly and James. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and it was Mathew's I was sort of acting weird but at the same time this just how he acts. When we walked up to Molly and James his grip grew a but tighter. "Hey you two!" Molly said while she came in for a hug for both of us. After she was done with her greetings he put his hand back around me. "So you two?" James asks us. "Oh no, we're just friends and you know that James." He lets go of my waist and I felt lonely. As an ulternitive he holds me hand. I don't think anything about it.

~~

It was time for us to leave so we saus out goodbyes and we walked out to Mathew's car. His hand around my waist again. We get inside his car and get ready to go back to my place. "What was that for?" I ask him. "What was what?" He says. "You where grabbing on to me, didn't you say there was a mystery girl?" He chuckles when I say that. "Oh please, so you're telling me you didn't like me all of these years and really hated how close you were to me tonight?" I was too stunned to speak. Well now I know he knows that I've liked him. "What about mystery girl?" I tried to change the subject on him. "Are you blind? You're mystery girl. I mean I found out you liked me a year ago and didn't think anything of it until I started thinking about you like that and now your mystery girl to me." He says as he keeps driving and his head is focused on the road.

Oh. My. God.

"Well why didn't you tell me?" I say to him. "Well why didn't you tell me either?" He says back to me. "Touche..." I say while my voice grew softer. "You know I don't know what's going to happen with us but we can sort it out later." He tells me. "Yeah.." I say back to him. We sat in silence the rest of the way home. Before I got out of the car I unbuckled my seat belt and turn my head to face Mathew. He looked back at me and our faces were facing each other. Leaning in closer to me I looked at him then at his lips. We both kept leaning forward until our lips connecting. We kissed softly until we both pulled away. "We'll talk later." I said while getting out of the car and walking towards my house. He waved at me as I walked in and I waved back. Can't wait for the text to come through on my phone tonight.

[triptuckers]

I've got you - tech

Request: nope Pairing: tech x reader Summary: you accompany the bad batch on their mission on serenno as their backup Warnings: HEAVY SPOILERS FOR BAD BATCH SEASON 2 EPISODE 2 !!! mentions of injuries, blood, broken bones, some swearing, little angst I guess Word count: 1.4kA/N: all I can say is I am so glad tech and echo got more screen time in s2 <3

you don't like sitting still. not when the others are down on the planet surface and you're not even in orbit. you know it's part of the plan and you should stick to it, but you're still uneasy.

while they were down on the surface of serenno to retrieve part of count dooku's war chest, you're sitting in the cockpit of your ship, trying not to pace around. your job was to hang back and only help when needed.

you know they're more than capable of completing missions like this one. ever since you started working for cid and she decided to send you on missions with the group of clones, you've seen their skills firsthand.

you don't want to admit it, but you're still worried. maybe it's because you're not down there with them. anything could happen to them and you might not be aware of it.

the comm device on your wrist is still silent. you're taking it as a good sign. you didn't want to hear all of their talk as they went over the mission. you asked hunter to tell the others to only comm you if they needed help. otherwise you'd drive yourself crazy listening to everything they were saying.

you just hope they're alright. especially tech.

as you had worked with them, you developed feelings for him. after months of being too afraid to talk to him about it, it had been echo who had accidentally let it slip tech apparently talked about you a lot whenever you weren't around.

echo's words had given you a little hope. and one night, when you had all just come back from a mission and were enjoying a drink at cid's, you had pulled tech aside and talked to him about it.

over time, your bond had become much stronger. and though you hadn't exactly defined it a relationship by saying it out loud, it was clear to everyone you and tech cared deeply about each other.

you're so lost in your thoughts you almost miss hunter's voice coming from your comm device.

'...implement plan zero plus one.'

you frown, wondering why hunter would tell them to go radio silent. he must have also let you know so that you wouldn't try to contact them and possibly give away their position.

something must have gone wrong. but right now, you can't do anything about it. you don't know their position, so even if you were to go in, you'd go in blind to a planet that's on everyone's radar due to the items of high value within dooku's war chest.

looks like you're still stuck in the cockpit, now temporarily forbidden from contacting them.

you thought the waiting before was bad, but this is a million times worse. you can't shake the feeling something went wrong.

after what feels like hours, you hear hunter's voice coming from your comm device.

'y/n, come in.' he says.

'I'm here.' you say.

'we're leaving. meet us back at ord mantell. and get your medical supplies out, we're going to need them.' says hunter.

immediately, you're on edge.

'what happened? are you guys alright? did you get what you came for?' you say as you're preparing to leave to go back to ord mantell.

'sort of.' says hunter. 'we got a small part of it thanks to omega, but the place was swarming with imperials. tech broke his leg, but he says it's not too bad.'

hunter telling you tech broke his leg spikes a feeling of fear in you. they were good at what they do, so you're guessing something bad must have happened if it resulted into tech breaking his leg. you were also worried because knowing them, they didn't stock up on medical supplies as much as you did.

'he- what?' you say.

'he was in a container with echo and omega crashing towards the planet surface when a crate fell on his leg.' hunter explains.

'crashing? put tech on.' you say, trying to stay calm.

it's silent on the other end.

'tech?' you say.

'I'm here.' he says.

you briefly close your eyes and sigh softly at the sound of his voice.

'how are you feeling?' you ask.

'well my left femur is broken due to one of the crates falling on top of it and thus crushing it, as hunter told you. and I put pressure on it when I walked on it but-'

'you walked on it?' you yell out before you're able to stop yourself.

'echo and omega were-'

'you fucking broke your leg and yet you continued to walk on it?'

'you did not let me finish. echo and omega were pinned and someone had to get them out.'

'walking on a broken leg, fucking hell.' you mumble.

you shake your head, reminding yourself at least he's alive. it could have been a whole lot worse if that crate had landed just a little higher. he could have broken his back, or worse.

'just rest, okay? I'll meet you guys back on ord mantell.' you say.

'copy that.' says tech.

the journey back to ord mantell seems to last unbearably long. you want to check in with tech, but you know the others would take good care of him until you were there with your medical supplies.

when you finally reach the planet, you immediately get hailed by the marauder. apparently, they dropped out of hyperspace only a few seconds after you did.

'how-'

'tech's fine.' says hunter. 'we gave him something for the pain, but the sooner we land the better.'

'copy that.' you say. 'meet me at my usual docking bay. there's enough space for both of our ships to land if we squeeze it in tight.'

as you're approaching the docking bay, you see the marauder hovering above you, waiting for you to land so they can land as well.

the landing gears of your ship have barely hit the ground before you quickly make your way down the stairs. the marauder is landing as well, and you can see echo's flying it. you're glad tech listened to you and got some rest.

the doors of the marauder open and omega is the first one to come out of it, worriedly looking over her shoulder. then tech appears, supported by both hunter and echo. wrecker is the last to appear, carrying what looks like the small piece of the war chest they managed to get their hands on.

you rush over to tech, checking his leg. there's no blood visible, which takes away some of your worries.

'no open bone fracture, thats good.' you mumble.

you look up at tech who - for some reason - is smiling at you.

'are you okay?' you ask him.

tech nods at you, still smiling. you raise your eyebrows at him and turn to hunter.

'like I said, we gave him something for the pain.' says hunter. 'tech said it took a while to kick in and he didn't feel any better, so we gave him a little more.'

'that explains it.' you say.

you turn to tech. 'alright, let's get you aboard my ship so we can fix you.' you say.

'I have to report back to cid.' says hunter, removing tech's arm from his shoulder.

'I've got him.' you say, moving closer and pulling tech's arm over your shoulder to support him. he's a lot heavier than you are, but thankfully echo was still holding tech up as well.

'you sure you'll be alright?' says hunter, glancing up at tech.

'hunter, as y/n just told you, she's got me.' says tech. you chuckle softly at his words. at least he wasn't in pain right now.

'we'll manage.' you tell hunter. 'but if echo could stay here to help, that would be great.'

hunter nods at you. then he calls for wrecker and omega, and the three of them leave to go talk to cid.

along with echo, you bring tech over to your ship, where you'd be able to tend to his injuries.

'did you mean that?' asks tech as you help him up the stairs to the entrance of your ship.

you frown in confusion. 'what?'

'that you've got me.' says tech, as if it wasn't clear what he was talking about.

you smile at him. 'yes, tech, I meant it. I've got you. so long as we're both here, going on missions for cid, taking care of omega. I've got you.' you say.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Max/Marit

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #103

Today passed by in a bit of a blur.

This is mostly due to the fact that I certainly did not get enough sleep last night. Given the reasons for it, I am not sad about it. But my brain is soupy nonetheless.

J and I went to the good place earlier than usual because a great big breakfast was planned. I signed up to bring bacon, which Br cooked yesterday in the oven (I was pulled in many directions yesterday, so I wouldn't have gotten a chance to do it!). Br made AMAZINGLY CRISPY BACON, oh my goodness!!! And everyone thought it was really good!!! There wasn't any left by the end!!!

The awesome leader of the place talked on a really sad story about some guy from a really long time ago getting terrible punishments for being so kind to everyone that he was upsetting the social order. This guy liked to hang with and to help the rejects and the socially outcast, and I guess a non-trivial number of folks thought he was arrogant and creepy and kinda gross for this (whoof, that's kind of relatable), so although lots of ordinary folks followed him around while he was useful and helping, when push came to shove and the folks in power came around to put an end to him because they didn't like the fact that he was helping the people that they were trying to oppress, most, if not all of his followers turned tail and ran off like cowards. It seems like nobody tried to protect him at all. And uh. Well. The whole notion of "people chilling with me while I'm useful and then fucking right off when the going gets rough" is also, sadly, kinda relatable.

And you know? He was found by the folks in power in the first place because some selfish, short-sighted prick sold him out for a few coins. It's the lamest fucking shit. It is the LAMEST FUCKING SHIT.

Supposedly, they all loved this guy, but if they loved him this much, then why did no one try to take the punishment in his place? I'll never understand it. And you know what else I'll never understand? I'll never understand how seemingly the vast majority of people who hear this story and believe it end up using it to justify hating and oppressing certain kinds of people. People like me, for example. It seems like the vast majority of people who believe in this story REALLY SUPER DESPISE people like me (and they also hate people like the leader of this place I go to! can you imagine it??), for a wide variety of reasons.

…It's complicated. In my world, in order to be "normal", you're supposed to believe in this story in such a way that it denies humans of their humanity and inherent goodness in a variety of respects, and I just… I can't bring myself to do that. Not anymore. The place I go to doesn't teach the story in the "normal" way that I'm used to hearing, though, so although I cannot bring myself to speak most of the words (especially not the weirder ones revolving around being "punished" and whatnot… it sounds too close for comfort to living with an abusive parent and begging for their "mercy"…), I still go, because the leader says the things from a loving, self-and-other-celebrating, and courageous lens rather than the typical self-loathing, humanity-denying, fear-driven lens that is most common where I'm from.

I don't really know how to describe my own relationship to this story. For a very long time, this story has been and continues to be used by others to justify saying and doing all kinds of horrid shit to me and to the people I love, as well as to justify oppressing and even torturing and killing certain groups of people on a mass scale. And this is NEVER acceptable, so needless to say, I tend to view the more ah… enthusiastic… believers of this story with a hefty dose of caution and hesitation; I don't wanna write anyone off, but at the same time, for my own safety, I also don't want to end up getting caught off-guard around people who could potentially think and behave abusively. I am terrified of the kinds of people who wanna see me locked away into some institution to be electroshocked until I'm forced to psychically amputate aspects of my being that hurt no one, and the fact that there is still a non-zero number of people who advocate for these kinds of facilities is VERY alarming. I've already had other aspects of my being beaten out of me, and I've been desperately trying to regrow them.

But in this place, I feel safe. This group that I go see once a week is filled with lots of people like me - "non-standard" folks who would be ostracized, hated, and oppressed by more "traditional" folks. And this place does not teach people to hate themselves or view themselves as dirty, wretched, or shameful; rather, this place teaches people to love themselves and each other as-is, and to use that love in order to be brave enough to do kind and helpful things for others and for oneself, even when those kind and helpful things are difficult or unpopular. This place paints the main character of this story as a bizarre but gentle man who rejects arbitrary social norms in favor of doing that which is kind and good. They paint him as some guy who has a VERY good sense of what he's doing and why, while simultaneously learning as he goes.

Though I have my own take on this story that maybe some folks would be uncomfortable with (my own beliefs system is eclectic, and it weaves elements from various systems, including this one, other traditions, quantum physics, as well as beliefs from more recent fiction and my own realizations together into something that makes sense to me in light of my own perceptions, abilities, and experiences; it's constantly changing as I learn new things, and it'll likely not work for someone else, and that's okay), I do find aspects of this character to be relatable and worthy of emulating in a variety of respects. Being reliably kind to myself and to the people society says I shouldn't be kind to is something I am constantly striving towards.

I think it's important for people to believe in whatever makes them reliably brave enough to be good to all other humans (whatever shape that takes, even if it's a belief in nothing), just as long as whatever that is does not justify the suffering of someone else. And I do mean ALL other humans. Even the ones you don't like spending time with. And even the ones who don't share the same beliefs. I sure as heck don't like spending time with people who think that certain kinds of people don't count as people (sadly, it's popular here to treat non-white, disabled, non-straight, or non-cis-male people as though they are subhuman, for example), but nonetheless, I do understand that dehumanizing beliefs come from being traumatized and conditioned into carrying them as a child (I was raised in this shit), so if I see someone like that in trouble, I'm still going to help them, if I'm able. I wasn't able to do better until I learned better, so I don't belong throwing stones at other people's beautiful glass houses; the only thing for it when people get weird is to wish them well and move on.

Anyhoot. I've probably prattled on long enough. I had other things to say, I think, but I've gone and forgotten them because I am sleep deprived and my brain is soup. Oh well. Maybe I'll remember tomorrow.

Please stay safe out there. Please learn to believe kind, gentle, and loving things about yourself, about the world you live in, and about the people in it. I'll be rooting for you, always.

Your friend, Lumine

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - The Escape

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

This week hasn't been much better except that Finnegan is sleeping pretty well.

I guess I shouldn't say it's not much better, that's a massive improvement. 

He's still working too hard and we've got my birthday hanging over my head even though we sort of dropped the whole thing after I apologized yet again. 

That night, Finnegan decided to give me a hell of a good time instead and I didn't say no.

He's told me a few times since then that he's fine, that he's over it but he's been snippy and pissy this week.

He reminds me of the Finnegan I found in his hallway that night all those months ago.

Man, it feels like ages.

I think he's missing little time and it's getting to him but I can't make him do it.

I don't think he can either.

I keep thinking that tonight will be the night but so far, no sign of him.

I even challenged him to a remote controlled car race last night and he did it but it wasn't the same.

The excitement, the glow, the glee wasn't there.

That's why I'm more relieved than you can imagine when he texts me Friday afternoon.

Finnegan Walker: Do you want to head to the beach with me, tomorrow? I can only do one night but I could use a break.

I don't even have to think about it.

Emmett Locke: Absolutely.

The beach will help.

He's finally going to let 'Little Finn' out to play and I can't wait.

We are packed and in the car by eight.

We've even decided to just get breakfast on the road because we were so anxious to leave.

That's when I find out that Finnegan has never had a Krispy Kreme donut.

I fix that situation pronto.

He's eaten two when he says...

"I know it's a lot of driving so I don't mind helping out."

Not happening, besides...

"I love this car. I don't mind driving it at all."

"I need get a lease, no reason to rent this one but I haven't bothered yet. It's been nice having all the space."

Geesh, I can't imagine how much it's costing him.

He doesn't care though so why should I?

The space, so he'll get something smaller.

I'm not surprised.

"I can't lie, I'm gonna miss this. We'll have to pack light if you get another Roadster."

I've never had an SUV but I totally get the appeal.

"Yeah, I thought about that. Not sure what I'm going to get, yet."

"If I can help let me know."

Maybe I can talk him something decent sized for trips.

My car, well I'm not sure I trust it to drive the whole way to the beach and it's just a little sedan.

"Where are we staying?"

"Oh, I just got a hotel for the night. It's hard to find anything  on a weekend in the middle of August."

I know... I was surprised that he got a house last time.

Stuff at the beach usually books up by February.

"That's fine by me, darling."

"They only had a room with two double beds."

Ugh.

"Well we'll either hold hands across the gap or use one to fuck in and one to sleep real, real close in."

He laughs.

"I'm just kidding. Please. We have a suite."

Of course he does.

"But it wouldn't phase you, would it?"

Seriously? Not at all.

Of course I prefer a decent sized bed, especially since he hasn't been sleeping well but no.

"Darling, I've slept on the ground, on cots, in trucks and in foxholes. Any bed is fine by me."

"It's really hard to fuck with you."

"No comment."

He smacks me gently on the shoulder.

This is good, he's more 'Little Finn' than he's been in weeks and we're not even there yet.

"So am I, Em." 

I got an 'Em'. 

It makes me smile. 

"And I'm really glad we're getting away today. They said it might rain tonight, I hope it doesn't."

"We'll have fun either way, darling. We're almost to the bridge."

"Yah."

[hedonicghosts]

I wouldn't say successful, but we are certainly managing the best we can. (College life, it can get stressful so we only have certain headmates who are able to handle the stress front.)

We're very fictive heavy so whenever a new introject gets here we make sure to remind them that, while it's perfectly normal to worry about source and to be attached to it at time, it's very important to live in the present. It's natural to hang onto to exomemories or to seek out sourcemates, but for all intents and purposes it's important to stay in the present. Find hobbies and other activities outside from source, since at times it can be harmful to be too attached to it.

We try to manage fronting as best as we can. It's mostly making sure which headmates have enough energy to do assignments and the like. We try to make sure that each headmate is able to front and do as they please while they keep up with assignments.

Although it's not entirely perfect. We're still working out the kinks. Just keep your head makes requests in mind and be as respectful as you can. Kindness goes a very long way, so be sure to express it to new and old headmates alike regardless of role.

That's about all I have. Feel free to dm us for more advice.

college life being stressful is so, so real… that's the main reason why we dropped out ;P good luck for you all in it, though!

the tip to live in the present for fictives is………… so difficult (i say, as a fictive) but it is a really good point too. it's nice to hold onto our exomemories and like… being able to say "i'm nocturnal you fuckwit, i'm going to sleep" is a fun excuse to not front, but we do need to have a better understanding of "but you are in a random human's body so you gotta take care of it normally" lol. also finding stuff that you might not do in your source is a good tip actually, and i'm… kinda shocked we never connected those dots? it's really easy to fit into the shitty mindset of "but character!me would NEVER do that so it'd be super weird if i did that" which is… very stupid (/lh) in hindsight.

managing fronting…. oh fuck……… what's that like? that must be nice lmfao. but genuinely, when we were still in college, it was somewhat easier to manage because we had specific alters essentially sign up for which class they'd be willing to sit. but, since we're a #delinquent and #unemployed now, it's more like… everyone for themselves, i guess. we've always wanted to have some degree of "routine" but like… managing that with so many assholes in one head is impossible (shout out to jonas trying to schedule everyone to front once a month back in high school… honorable of him ha). i think we also just sort of struggle with doing what we want when fronting and not what the body wants, if that makes sense? like, obviously, not all of us are artists, so we feel weird when a non-artist is fronting and being "forced" to draw bc the brain is making xyr, yknow?

and i mean, nothing we work out will ever be 100% perfect, that's kinda the nature of being disordered i guess lol, but we're sorta in a place right now where it's like… well, it's functional, but it's not ideal i guess. we've been trying to find ways to better our external communications with each other so we can make an actual physical… list? chart? forum? where we do let headmates make requests and then be able to respect them. but, as it is now, our communication is solely internal and, with amnesia, means it's dog shit.

aaaaanyway, sorry for rambling at each of your points. i really do appreciate the insight you gave us, and i'm going to pin this… somewhere in one of our resources for the gatekeepers to check out. if one of them has questions, they'll definitely take you up on the dm offer! (we suck at dm-ing though fair warning)