#i guess it evolved from the group they made when they started going out which i consciously avoided

[aroaceofthesea]

I thought i had friends but turns out they have a group chat without me and when i found out i asked one of them if they could add me but its been over a week and i havent heard about it again

[proxentauri]

when i saw @n0rtist's ability forms i had to do reuniclus.....i hope it's not too late to be featured in the video! :0 we may have crossed from ability form into actual alternate form territory (see the original colours below the cut to see how crazy different they could have been)

as someone in evo microbio this was insane amounts of fun to do and i was able to pull inspo from places i'd never think to reference in my regular art!

itemized essay explaining the science and my design choices in more detail below the cut:

Ability Form 1: Overcoat

The science

Based on bacterial biofilm, which is basically when a bunch of bacteria get together in the same spot and start excreting this sticky slime stuff that structurally keeps the bacteria together (and also act as a medium for sharing useful resources between the bacteria, like enzymes, nutrients, etc.).

The design

The strings connecting the bacteria is based on what the slime stuff looks like on a microscopic level, specifically in electron micrographs like this one

The violet colour of the (rod) bacteria in the biofilm is a reference to Gram staining, which is a type of bacterial stain used to classify bacteria into two groups: bacteria that contain peptidoglycan in their cell walls (which stain violet) and bacteria that don't (these stain pink). Peptidoglycan is this pretty chonky polymer compound that's used to strengthen bacterial cell walls, so I thought it fit the role of Overcoat (which protects your Pokémon from things like weather)

Ability Form 2: Magic Guard

The science

Based on the myelin sheath, which are these segments of tube-like insulation that surrounds your neurons (see picture here). Mostly people talk about how it makes your neural signals propagate faster, which is true, but this ability form was more of a reference to its general protective role; it physically and electrically insulates your neurons. (Surprisingly I could not find a super good primary source for myelin providing physical protection, so don't cite me on that, but given it's literally a physical barrier this seems like a pretty safe assumption.)

The design

The entire body is based on a pseudounipolar neuron, which just means it only has one part extend out of the main body but shortly after it splits into two long parts (axons). I could have made it a bipolar neuron I guess (two parts extend out of the main body), but having a neck made it look a little closer to the base form's body

I wanted to give it dendrite fingers but it looked too creepy. I'm not sure if the three long fingers I gave it in the final design made it less creepy.

Since Overcoat and Magic Guard are both shield-type abilities, they're drawn as more closely related on the the phylogenetic tree (white thing in the center).

Ability Form 3: Regenerator

The science

This one is the most hype imo. In 2015 Dr. Will Ratcliff did this pretty sick experiment about the evolution of multicellularity (since at some point a long time ago life was single-celled) where he kept propagating the same single-celled yeast for a mega long time, and eventually the yeast evolves a multi-cellular "snowflake" form where after undergoing mitosis, the resulting daughter cells don't split, but stay attached, resulting in the yeast forming these clusters that create these cute little branches. I don't know where I was going with this. Oh right, the branching out reminded me a lot of regenerating limbs, so that was the inspiration for this one.

Anyway this is like one of my favourite experiments ever, there's some pretty good news articles out there about if you want to learn more about it!

The design

The segments are yeast cells, and the balls within are the nuclei.

The colour scheme was based on this fluorescent microscopy photo of the snowflake yeast. Originally I had the nuclei be bright orange in reference to this other microscopy picture but I thought the colour scheme was deviating too much from the base form for an ability form lol.

Speaking of here's the original unhinged colour drafts:

if i did commit to the full alternate form i think the biofilm one is poison, myelin one is fighting, yeast one is uhh...dude idek, i mean the fluorescent microscopy vibe is pretty strong so maybe electric lol? it's giving ghost vibe too though

i was originally planning on citing stuff but it's a tumblr post and I've already linked Ratcliff's work and i want to go to bed lol. If any of the science is wrong just call me out i'll fix it. otherwise, i hope someone out there appreciates the science references !! it's 8am good Night

[drdemonprince]

Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

[72-votes]

No Birds Allowed: Batman without Robin

The usual claim is that Jason Todd was singularly hated by audiences. Dick Grayson, Carrie Kelley, and Tim Drake are proper, beloved Robins—and Jason Todd is the one and only outlier so unlikable that audiences killed him off by popular vote.

But this claim ignores a massive piece of the puzzle—the Robin role has long been treated as an outdated remnant of a childish era, not only by a significant share of Batman fans, but also by Batman creative teams. While there were definitely fans who hated Jason Todd, he was at least partly chosen to be killed as a scapegoat for some long-standing complaints about the Robin role in Batman stories.

The 1988 poll to kill Jason Todd wasn't just a poll to kill Jason Todd—the poll to kill Robin was a poll to kill Robin.

Fan letters columns from Batman #221 and Detective Comics #398, reacting to Dick leaving for Hudson University in Batman #217 (1969):

Denny O'Neil Batman/Detective Comics writer (1970-1980) Batman group editor (1986-2000) on sending Robin away to Hudson University:

Dan Greenfield: Actually, last night I went back through my comics and the one thing that always strikes me is that before you came onto the character, they’d already made the decision to have Robin leave. Robin was up at Hudson University and was used sparingly from that point forward. Denny O’Neil: Well, that was a conscious decision of mine. Greenfield: Oh! O’Neil: Yeah, I mean … I had been offered Batman a year before I did it. Greenfield: No kidding? I wanna hear this. O’Neil: Because that was in the (Batman TV show) camp thing. The comics were very half-heartedly following in the footsteps of the camp because it was having a palpable effect on circulation. That’s not always true but it was in that case. Camp as in the sense — as opposed to the more erudite sense — this one-line joke about: “I loved this stuff when I was 6 and now that I’m 28 and I have a bi-weekly appointment with a therapist and a little, mild drug habit and two divorces, ‘Look how silly it is.'” I would go into the most literary bar in Greenwich Village on (Wednesday) or Thursday evenings and there would be writers and poets and college professors, all looking at Batman! But when that was over, it was over. It was like somebody turned a switch. And that’s when (editor) Julie (Schwartz) said, in his avuncular way, did I have any ideas for Batman? And at that point, I wasn’t going to be asked to do camp. I was going to be asked to do anything within the bounds of good taste, etc., that I wanted to.

O'Neil, quoted from “Notes from the Batcave: An Interview with Dennis O’Neil” in The Many Lives of The Batman: Critical Approaches to a Superhero and His Media:

There was a time right before I took over as Batman editor when he seemed to be much closer to a family man, much closer to a nice guy. He seemed to have a love life and he seemed to be very paternal towards Robin. My version is a lot nastier than that. He has a lot more edge to him.

O'Neil in 2015:

Modern Batman does not do camp. He has to evolve but to stay true to the concept he has to stay lonely. The kids, there shouldn't be many. Keep him the lone, obsessed crusader and the stories will be better. We did a story called Son of the Demon. It told a story where he had a kid, a baby. It wasn't in continuity. These days, the kid came back and became the new Robin, and I hear that Batman's got a few more running around.

Jim Starlin, Batman writer (1987-1988), writer of A Death in the Family:

I tried to avoid using [Robin] as much as I could. In most of my early Batman stories, he doesn’t appear. Eventually Denny asked me to do a specific Robin story, which I did, and I guess it went over fairly well from what I understand. But I wasn’t crazy about Robin.

I thought that going out and fighting crime in a grey and black outfit while you send out a kid in primary colors was kind of like child abuse. So when I started working on Batman, I was always leaving Robin out of the stories, and Denny O’Neil who is the editor finally said, "You gotta put [Robin] in."

In the one Batman issue I wrote with Robin featured, I had him do something underhanded, as I recall. Denny had told me that the character was very unpopular with fans, so I decided to play on that dislike. [...] At that time, DC had this idea that they were gonna do an AIDS education book, and so they put a box out and wanted everybody to put in suggestions of who should contract AIDS and perish in the comics. I stuffed it with Robin. They realized it was all my handwriting so they ended up throwing all my things out. About six months later, Denny came up with this idea of the call-in thing. [...] I didn’t find out about it until I came back [from Mexico] and found out that, just as I expected, my ghoulish little fans voted him dead. But by a much smaller margin than I’d imagined. It was only like 72 votes out of 10,000, so statistically it was next to nothing.

Dan Raspler, assistant editor/associate editor to Denny O’Neil (1988-1990):

Denny wasn’t really interested in comics continuity, and he didn’t like superheroes. And if you read his work, you see his influence was really a pushing away from the conventions at the time—it was growing old, that sort of Golden Age-y, Silver Age-y stuff, and Denny sort of modernized it, and he never stopped feeling that way. Jim Starlin’s Batman appealed to Denny. It was a little more ‘down to Earth. Nobody liked Robin at the time. For a while Robin was not—it didn’t make sense in comics. Comics were darkening, and so having the kid was just, it was silly, and even at the time I kind of didn’t. Now Robin is my favorite all-time character, but at the time when I was twenty-whatever, I accepted kicking Robin out, the short pants and all the rest of it.

Comic shop owner Phil Beracha on A Death in the Family, quoted in The Sun Sentinel (October 22, 1988):

"I got 100 copies, and I don't expect them to last past the weekend," said Phil Beracha, owner of Phil's Comic Shoppe in Margate. "I usually get 50 copies of Batman. I doubled my order, and I still expect to sell out." The readers voted right, Beracha said. "Robin is an outdated concept. He was created in the `40s, and back then in a comic book you could have a kid beating up grown men. I don't think that works today."

Writer Steve Englehart, quoted in "Batman, the Gamble; Warner Bros. is betting big money that a 50-year-old comic book vigilante will be a `hero for our times'" in the Los Angeles Times (June 18, 1989):

Writer Steven Englehart, who did a series of Batman stories in Detective Comics, also worked up some movie treatments. In a letter to Comics Buyer's Guide, he revealed the approach he had in mind, which would have pleased Batfanatics: "My first treatment had Robin getting blown away in the first 90 seconds, so that every reviewer in the country would begin his review with, `This sure isn't the TV show.' "

Michael Uslan, producer and film rights holder for the 1989 Batman film:

I only let Tim [Burton] see the original year of the Bob Kane/Bill Finger run, up until the time that Robin was introduced. I showed him the Steve Englehart/Marshall Rogers and the Neal Adams/Denny O'Neil stories. My biggest fear was that somehow Tim would get hold of the campiest Batman comics and then where would we be?

"Death Knell for the Campy Crusader" in the Orlando Sentinel (23 June 1989):

For most people, the name Batman summons up a picture of a clown in long johns, a Campy Crusader who - with the young punster Robin - ZAPed and POWed his way into our lives. That's the Batman that appeared on TV in the mid-'60s, and that's the Batman that the world at large knows. Such is the power of television. But this ludicrous image may become obsolete now that the new, $40 million Batman movie has opened. Robin is absent from the film, as are the perky Batgirl and the utterly superfluous Aunt Harriet of the TV series. And though the movie has plenty of sound effects, they don't appear on the screen as words, spelled out in neo-Brechtian absurdity.

Sam Hamm, writer for Batman (1989 live-action film):

The Case of the Disappearing Robin is high comedy. Tim (Burton) and I had worked out a plotline that did not include the Boy Wonder, whom we both regarded as an unnecessary intrusion. Really: Our hero was crazy to begin with. Did he have to prove it by enlisting a pimply adolescent to help him fight crime? Was Bat-Baby unavailable? But the studio was insistent: There was no such thing as solo Batman, there was only Batman and Robin. So, after holding off the executives for as long as we could, Tim and I realized we had better try to accommodate them. He flew up to my house in San Francisco and we walked around in circles for two days, finally deciding that there was no way to shoehorn Robin into our story. [...] We figured that if we managed to squeeze him in, the lame hacks who were making the sequel could worry about what to do with him next. When the film went into production in London, and ran seriously over budget, WB started looking for a sequence that could be cut to save money. And there was one obvious candidate: Intro Robin! So Robin was cut from the movie and shoved back to Batman Returns— from which he was cut yet again and shoved back to Batman Forever.

Grant Morrison on creating Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth (written 1987-1988, published 1989) with Dave McKean (see the annotated script's fourth page):

The original first draft of the script included Robin. Robin appeared in a few scenes at the beginning then remained at Police Headquarters for the bulk of the book, where he spent his time studying plans and histories of the house, in order to find a way in to help his mentor. Dave McKean, however, felt that he had already compromised his artistic integrity sufficiently by drawing Batman and refused point blank over for the Boy Wonder — so after one brave but ridiculous attempt to put him in a trench coat, I wisely removed him from the script.

Paul Dini on Batman: The Animated Series (1992), as told in the 1998 book Batman Animated:

The Fox Network, on the assumption that kids won't watch a kid’s show unless kids are in it, soon began insisting that Robin be prominently featured in every episode. When Fox changed the title from Batman: The Animated Series to The Adventures of Batman & Robin, they laid down the law-no story premise was to be considered unless it was either a Robin story or one in which the Boy Wonder played a key role. Out were underworld character studies like “It's Never Too Late"; in were traditional Batman and Robin escapades like “The Lion and the Unicorn.” A potentially intriguing Catwoman/Black Canary team-up was interrupted in midpitch to the network by their demand, “Where's Robin?” When the writers asked if they could omit Robin from just this one episode, Fox obliged by omitting the entire story. Looking back, there was nothing drastically wrong with Robin's full-time insertion into the series—after all, kids do love him. Our major gripe at the time was that it started turning the series into the predictable Batman and Robin show people had initially expected it would be. For the first season, Batman had been an experiment we weren't sure would work. We were trying out different ways of telling all kinds of stories with Batman as our only constant. For better or worse, having a kid forced him, and the series, to settle down.

Christian Bale, star of Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy (2008):

If Robin crops up in one of the new Batman films, I'll be chaining myself up somewhere and refusing to go to work.

Summed up

Among the keepers of Batman, there has been a vocal contingent arguing against the inclusion of Robin. They argue that Robin damages Batman's brooding, solitary persona. They argue that the concept of Robin is too ridiculous and fantastic for the grounded, gritty ideal of Batman. They argue that a respectable version of Batman shouldn't allow, encourage, or train "child soldiers" to endanger their lives fighting against violent evil-doers.

The original and most iconic Robin, Dick Grayson, has definitely benefited from his deep roots in DC lore and his consistent popularity among fans—and yet even he has been shunned from various Batman projects over the decades. When even he struggles to get his foot in the door, his successors face stiffer opposition.

So it's not quite correct to say that Jim Starlin hated Jason Todd. In his own words, Starlin wasn't fond of Robin, and his storytelling (most obviously A Death in the Family) set out to argue against Batman having any kind of "partner" at all. This, following the wildly successful comic that treated Barbara Gordon as a disposable prop. A growing audience welcomed the Dark Age, and the gruesome spectacles made of kid-friendly elements like Batgirl and Robin.

This trend could be broken by the upcoming sequel to The Batman and by the planned slate of upcoming DCU films. But most Robin fans will tell you that many movie-going Batman fans still have their doubts about Robin sharing Batman's spotlight.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition

Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.

on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.

I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!

I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!

Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!

SOUND:

I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)

I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.

Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird��� things.

FORMAT (?)

OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)

TRACK LIST SPECULATION

Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause. 

The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.

(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)

Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)

(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)

So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)

But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work.  (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)

The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.

Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?

Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!

Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.

(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)

(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?

(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬 

loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside. 

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.

The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)

Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,”  (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.

BONUS TRACKS

The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going. 

The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all. 

The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.

The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.

Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!

[akaranali]

Cosmic Horror V2

Kurt Wagner x Fem reader

In which: A girl infused with the cosmic powers of a celestial wakes up after sleeping for 1000 years wake up in the morden era

Warning: characters may be OOC. Slight spelling/ grammar mistakes. Overpower MC trope

After being a sleep for a couple of thousand year to self reflect on yourself. You walk through the 21st- Century mostly confused with the new technology. Being so use to being awake when new things are invented. For example being alive when the first paper was used. Though the newest thing you heard about was people called “mutants”

According to the people you inte- talked to. You gathered that mutants were basically the evolved species of humans that has powers. What you also learn is that most humans have a strange hatred for them. Being anger at evolution? That a first for humanity.

You keep walking and walking try to theorize what could’ve made humans hate evolution so till you hear the sound of screaming. You lift your gaze to the side to see some…you don’t even know how to describe it. Some huge humanoid thing running rampage. Over the screaming you can hear words like “Damn Mutant” or “I hate mutants”

You almost step into the fight but that damn thing in forcibly stop you. “That ant has no need for my divine justice. You can sit by and watch. I have a feeling some other will deal with it” a voice booms into your head. “God I hate you” you say outside distain in your voice. That stupid celestial that gave you this curse of immortality. Gave you its power but barely let you use it, only when its deems when a person crime is harsh enough for it justice. “One say I swear I’ll overcome-“

You were about to swear when you see huge pile of rumble coming your way. Shrugging it off. It not like this could even kill me, you think closing your eye waiting for it to hit you. But you hear a weird sound and something grabbing your arm. You open your eyes and see you are in a different place. You also see a blue face-a man?.

You look confused and the man seems to notice it. “Are you alright madam? I teleport you somewhere safer” He speaks with a accent you can’t quite make out. The world develop without you so your best guess was someone east from here. You stare very deeply at him and he smile uncomfortable. “Is this your first time seeing a mutant?” He say you can hear the teasing in his voice.

You don’t pay attention to it however. You step closer to him studying him. Blue skin, sharp ears, a bit of fur on the side of his neck, and a tail. Mutants are something. As you keep studying him going closer each second. The mutant starts to blush. You don’t know if he’s uncomfortable or just shy but he seems to shifted up. Before you can ask him anything you hear a voice call out.

“Kurt when need you back over-here!!” A voice yell. Just when that voice screams. The mutant. Now you know as Kurt teleport in a purple smoke leaving you alone. “I should’ve ask for a dna sample” groaning in frustrated you walk away.

Mutant have now peaked your interest. You went back to the battle and found out he was part of some group called the X-Men. Quickly fleeing before anyone of them spots you, you run and see a person who was also in the middle of that attack. Going to them, you quickly learn that the X-men was a super hero group of mutants that helps humans. Though you also learn how much the person hates mutants.

Now your main goal is to study the mutant race, how hard could that be?

An: I plan to Write more i Just wanted to make this one not that long 😭 also this is a horrible version I just didn’t want to go 2 years without posting….😕

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 59 Review - Dance Dance Quaxvolution

We’re back after a week break! Did you miss my reviews? I missed Pokemon Horizons too, even if it was only gone for a week. It’s finally time for the Implementation Test and Dot’s leading them off with her long awaited match with everyone’s favorite Gym Leader Larry!

True to the games, going to the Gym Center made Dot and the others have to look for Larry. Since the receptionist told them that they have to find him, they’re practically on a hunt for the ordinary salaryman. Fortunately, they did manage to get a clue from this dancer lady and her Oricorio Baile Forme. The whole dancing segment was cute, honestly. However, Oricorios have been a bane for me recently as I remember how I lost to an NPC in the Indigo Disk DLC who had two Oricorios and they chained-spammed Revelation Dance with their Dancer Ability. I have to say that the dancer named Diva, according to the credits, is a very well-designed character. It feels like a waste for her to be just a regular character of the day. Her Oricorio’s dance is a key component for the match against Larry, hence why this segment was introduced before the start of the actual battle.

Like in Episode 18 and in the games, Larry is found at the Treasury Eatery, the rival of the Anything Eatery from the previous episode. I kind of like how Roy had a reverse reaction regarding Larry’s status as a Gym Leader. What I mean is that Larry was first shown as an Elite Four member in the anime which is why being a Gym Leader was a shock for him. In the games, Larry was first seen as a Gym Leader and then his reveal as an Elite Four member was supposed to be a big surprise. I also really like how the battlefield is set up! The animation was so good!

Dot seems a little impatient in this episode, but I guess it’s because she wanted to prove herself. She lost her match against Iono in the Basics portion and she won in the friendly match with Poppy, but that was all Iono’s doing and not her own. It makes sense why she’d be frustrated with herself. Unfortunately, Dot was given a huge disadvantage because both of Larry’s Pokemon, Dundunsparce and Starpator, are fully evolved while she’s the only one of the kids who has two first-stage Pokemon. The odds were clearly not in Dot’s favor as Quaxly got paralyzed due to Dundunsparce’s Glare and she used Tinkatink for the first time in an official battle and she got knocked out instantaneously. The reason why Dot seemed a little out of it in this episode even showed when she wasn’t in sync with Quaxly like she normally is. She was too focused on her strategies that she forgot to add in one important thing: Quaxly is her partner so she needs to be in sync with him. That’s how Dot decides to use everything she witnessed before and during the battle to her advantage like the steps Quaxly learned from the Oricorio from earlier, the spins that Tinkatink did when she used Brutal Swing and the wing flaps from Starpator. The realization of this important factor was the reason Quaxly evolved into Quaxwell. Though, it did suck that Quaxwell lost immediately, but it makes sense given Larry is way too strong for her and the duck was paralyzed.

Passing the Implementation Test means that the assigned Gym Leader gives a report. Though, I’m not too sure if it’s a certification or just proof that she passed the test. Anyways, Larry allowed her to pass because she fulfilled all the necessary requirements: using two Pokemon, being in sync with her Pokemon, and Terastalizing at the right time. I just hope that Dot learns to relax and trust in Quaxwell going forth. I honestly can’t wait to see what sort of energy Quaxwell will bring to the group now.

The final portion of the episode was hilarious. The chef gives the kids the special rice ball menu that was in the games, but Larry has to pay for all of it, much to his dismay. He did pay for the player’s meal in the game, but he has to spend three times more money since he’s feeding three kids and their Pokemon. Geeta, please give Larry a raise already! Speaking of food, the last segment with Dot eating with Quaxwell had me thinking of octopus sausages ever since my Discord friend mentioned how the shape of their hair look like them. I cannot unsee it now.

I guess my only gripe for this episode was the fact that Larry didn’t adjust his tie while his Tera Orb was being activated like how he did in the games. The anime had him adjusting it before getting out his orb. I really liked how he did it in the game, so I was a bit bummed out. Despite that, Staraptor being coated in the Tera Crystal was such a beautiful sight.

Now that the first of the Implementation Test has finished, what are your thoughts on the battle’s results? Were you satisfied? Angry? Please let me know!

[cfr749]

What’s your opinion on the Valentine’s Day storyline? specifically Tim being upset with Lucy and just how it was written in general?

Hi anon!

Thanks for the ask! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

So I will admit my feelings have evolved a bit on this particular storyline especially in context of season 6 (which I am enjoying so far).

I'll start with my thoughts on the whole five-player-trade thing since those storylines were so intermingled (and apparently that whole thing is going to be the gift that keeps on giving 😂).

Side note: I still wish they would have just dealt with the repercussions of the whole TO/Rookie superior/subordinate thing directly instead of inventing all this sorcery when they could have just acknowledged the inherent misogyny and sexism they've already admitted exists.

We still could have had the cuteness of the group scene and all the plotting to find an opening for Tim without making Lucy out to be a manipulator.

But for whatever reason, they really didn't seem comfortable dealing with the power dynamic issues and repercussions head on, so now I guess we get to see Aaron try to date his therapist instead 😂😬

But at least it seems like they are trying to fix their framing this season by making it clear to the audience that Lucy is the one being wronged, so that's a good thing in my book even though it's hard to see her struggle.

So, after all that, you will be shocked to hear that I wasn't a huge fan of Lucy's choice to do the five-player-trade thing 😂.

I do understand why Tim was upset with her. I think doing what she did behind his back was a problem. Don't get me wrong, though -- they both failed majorly at adult communication 101 here.

Tim should have talked to her before he made the decision to switch positions. Had they discussed it, I don't think Lucy would have felt the same level of responsibility and pressure that she did to make sure Tim wouldn't be stuck in a role he hated. Mostly because she never would have agreed to him taking a desk position and they would have had to work together to come up with another solution. From there, the story could have unfolded very differently.

Tim made a choice behind her back that impacted their relationship, but only his career. Lucy went behind Tim's back and made a choice that ultimately impacted both of their careers.

But, at the end of the day, Tim 100% came out of the situation a winner. And Lucy is continuing to pay the price. As happy as I am that Tim finally acknowledged Primm's role in the outcome of Lucy's detective exam, I am actually pretty disappointed that we haven't seen any actual acknowledgement from him that Lucy is in the position she's in now specifically because she didn't want him to be unhappy.

Lucy's choices were her own, and now she's gotta live with that, but there's no question that she did what she did out of love. And it sucks that we haven't seen any direct appreciation for what she was willing to risk for him, even if he wasn't a fan of the execution.

I had to go back and watch some clips from this episode in order to respond to this, and I have to say it actually gutted me to see how genuinely happy and proud and excited Lucy was for Tim when he got the promotion. Especially juxtaposed against Lucy learning that as much as Tim loves her and wants to support her, he really isn't able to fully get behind her on her dream, which is, of course, understandable, given his past, but still just really heartbreaking for Lucy.

When I initially watched the five-player-trade episode, I was just waiting for Tim to pop up at Smitty's trailer in his own hazmat suit to help Lucy. I thought he would be a little irritated about Lucy going behind his back, but ultimately I though we'd see him acknowledging and appreciating just how much she was willing to do to make sure he was happy (forget torpedoing her career -- she cleaned Smitty's trailer for god's sake!).

Moving into the V-day episode...

First off, boo on Tim for bailing on V-day breakfast (even is she was up late catching up with Noah 😂).

Even though I understood why Tim was upset, I don't love avoidant Tim (looking at you, beginning of 6x02 Tim 😂). Lucy of course deals with it because she does genuinely love him and understands how he operates, but this is something I do think he needs to work on and I'd like to see change over the course of the relationship. As much as I loved their Rookie-T.O. dynamic, there are definitely aspects of it that don't belong in a healthy relationship.

Back to the point, I do think what Lucy did was misguided and short-sighted (and unbelievably sweet). I do think she should have actually apologized (sorry not sorry doesn't count 😂).

But, while we're at it, Tim can apologize for making a major life decision without talking to her first also... 😂

The scene at the end was cute; I like it better now than I did when it originally aired. Some actual heat over "fuel for later" would have been great but it is, of course, The Rookie. And I do wish they would have made the gift somehow meaningful for them to give the scene a little bit more weight (think when Jackson gave Lucy the St. Michael pendant), but hey, at least we got the trophy this season 🥰.

Ultimately, it didn't make me feel a whole lot, and it's not a scene that makes the list when I think of my favorite moments for them.

And watching it back did highlight (IMO) the contrast between what we've seen so far in season 6 vs. the bulk of what we saw in season 5. And while angst is part of it, for me, I think it's more about giving us a story that (at least occasionally) goes beyond the surface level (Tim was mildly irritated! Lucy was sassy and silly!) and explores the character's emotions in a way that makes them more human and relatable.

What were your thoughts on this storyline??

[thequiver]

I'm a bug fan of your Revenant series! It's such a cool team 😁

One thing that struck me was that on learning the shadow king was back Lorna specifically asked for her brother and shot down seeing her father. She was even reluctant to tell Wanda what was happening until Pietro convinced her.

What was going on in her head at that moment and how do you feel about her respective relationships with her father and siblings (In the story and in cannon)

YESSSSSSSS I’ve been waiting for someone to ask this 🥰🥰🥰also thank you so much for enjoying Revenant, I have literally so much more of it to write (you have no idea this has gotten way out of control, this entire AU was created for a silly oneshot TerryLorna idea I had and I am STILL NOT EVEN AT A PLACE WHERE I CAN WRITE THE TERRYLORNA)....anyway this is about to be word vomit bc I have a LOT of thoughts

Okay so one of the big things here is that Lorna and Pietro have both had pivotal moments in their stories where they were mind controlled and made to do things that hurt people they cared about and neither of them really ever got a whole lot of support in recovering from that. And Pietro is, for all his faults, incredibly protective and incredibly loving of his sisters and while Lorna has spent a LOT of time pushing back against that protectiveness because she really and truly can handle herself and she and Pietro don't have that kind of history where he's seen her almost burned at the stake etc etc.... this is a moment where she wants someone to be ride or die in her corner and to be ride or die in her corner after it's all said and done even if she is controlled again...... and Pietro's fatal flaw is loyalty. She wanted someone who would come in and try to make it better even though there was nothing they could do, and she knew that if she called Pietro would come running. It's more an act of desperation than of familial love? But it's something that's really going to set the stage as the story progresses for how their relationship is going to evolve. We also know that Lorna is very afraid of seeming weak in front of her father- he has these grand expectations of her and when she doesn't meet his impossible standards she cracks under that weight and for as much as I love Erik and as much as I appreciate the steps he's taken to repair his relationship with her, being his daughter is not easy. And with Wanda, they arguably have the easier relationship within this group of siblings, where it really has become more genuinely sisterly and almost...dare I say? normal? But Wanda isn't really involved in X-Men stuff and hasn't really been to any grand extent barring her intro and M-Day (and much more recently Trial of Magneto)- her very presence on Krakoa is enough to inspire hatred and anger, with the Shadow King there Wanda as a first choice is probably not smart, and Wanda herself has so much baggage with mutantkind thanks to M-Day that it puts her in a weird position too.

I'm playing a lot with Wanda, Lorna, and Pietro's relationships with each other and with their father. I feel like Pietro is very underutilized and that he's not taken seriously by writers or by fans and so I really wanted to build on this Lorna-Pietro relationship that was starting to get established in All New X-Factor and to really kind of I guess force my readers to remember that Pietro isn't a bad guy? Which sounds stupid bc he's a hero but like people don't read for Pietro and take wildly ooc shit as fact. Like it's important to me that my readers know that it was Pietro who pushed for he and Wanda to leave the Brotherhood, and that Pietro tries so so so hard for his family and just wants to keep his sisters and daughter safe and that like he is a victim of much of the same trauma as Wanda and he's allowed to have responses to it without being whiny or having to get over it (no matter what Wanda said in Quicksilver: No Surrender).

But yeah, I have lots of Revenant thoughts, and feel free to dm me or send me asks about it anytime I love talking about it!

[yuyusuyu]

blurred lines and lies — author's goodbye

hello everyone! first of all, thank you so, so, so much for reading this goofy series of mine and for giving it the love that you did! it truly always made my day whenever i would see someone giving feedback on any chapter whether it be showing distaste towards younghee the witch to showing support to jongho (and yeosang).

in my goodbyes to a series of mine, i like to talk a little bit about what inspired the series and all that good jazz!

inspiration... i took a lot of inspiration from ateez's not too late, faye webster's i know you, and mitski's i guess. however, somewhere along the way, i took a lot from my own experience with something almost similar to this. i used to have a friend since i was in fourth grade, and we'd have been friends for ten years this year. did i ever love him? i'm not sure, but i most definitely knew that he had a special place in my heart since he was very dear to me. he got a girlfriend, who i encouraged he should go after, only to learn she was toxic and manipulative towards the end. he decided to leave me behind and end our friendship for her because she asked him to.

honestly, i was really mad about it when i woke up and read his messages (yes, he texted me all of that). i'm thankful for my best friend who was able to talk sense into me, saying that i wasn't the problem but rather the girlfriend. (thank you always, my dearest dia).

it's been about a year since then. sometimes i wonder how he's doing, if he's still with his girlfriend (which i assume he is). i was very bitter up until recently, which was when i started writing this. i think this is just my way of saying goodbye to him and our friendship in all seriousness. i do still wish him the best, i always will. i just hope i look back at this goofy series of mine if he ever decides to reach out again and see that i shouldn't be as forgiving as reader is in this story (because i am a person who does believe in second chances! though, there was this one time my trusting nature got taken advantage of way too badly and, well, i try not to forgive others as easily as i used to. that is another story for another day omg another short series coming soon?!).

other than that, again, i just took inspiration from the three songs mentioned earlier! especially not too late, i would have that song playing hours on end while planning and writing the chapters!

in the beginning, this series was honestly going to be a two-shot where yeosang got cheated on and reader was just going to be there for him. i honestly don't know how it evolved into what it is now, but i went through my drafts on wattpad and i have a story similar to this where reader was in love with some dude from some group i liked at the time. reader watched said dude get married and then she fell in love with a mutual friend of theirs years later. i guess that's where i got the yeosang getting married idea from?!

when i was still planning the chapters and fine tuning the plot, yeoang and reader were always going to end up together. it just... felt right to me? jongho was always just going to see reader as just a friend, no more no less. but then i messed it all up and said: hm, why not have a love triangle! but with the love triangle, i didn't want to have just one ending. it wasn't fair to jongho, thus why both he and yeosang had their own ending!

a feedback i got for yeosang's end had me wondering about how it would actually be like if the story had ended with them being in a poly relationship. one thing is for sure: jongho would always be at yeosang's throat for no reason. yeosang accidentally cooked something reader didn't like? here comes jongho ready to tell him off for doing such a 'stupid' thing. jongho would for sure pick a fight over any thing, be it small or little, with yeosang. yeosang would, because he was always a little jealous of jongho from the start, either try to one up him in some way or get really insecure and grab reader's attention in that way and most definitely make a face of victory at jongho when reader decides to pamper him. very chaotic vibes, honestly. it's basically a war zone with reader being the mediator. unfortunately, i have no idea how to write poly relationships so you're all stuck with those two endings </3

i think that's everything i wanted to touch on! to my dearest friend who encouraged me to write this, dia who is not on tumblr which is a good thing because i would be so embarrassed if she were to read whatever i write, thank you!

if you have any questions regarding the story and whatnot, comment and i'll try to answer to the best of my ability!

again, thank you all for reading this! thank you all for liking the plot and sticking around for when i updated the series!

with much love,

yuyusuyu aka dea aka drea :)

previous | masterlist

taglist (final!): @kpopnightingale @seonghwaddict @imsodazed @honeyhwaaa @nakiiko @diorwoo @h-nji @jisungxident @tenebrisirae @yunhogrippers @acciocriativity @scarfac3 @mundayoonimnida @kyeos4ng

perma taglist (bold means that i can't tag you): @asjkdk @kodzukein @hrt4jeno @lissiesykes @jeonride

BLURRED LINES AND LIES | yuyusuyu 2023

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

when you've lived on this earth as long as i have (i say, as if i'm old 🤨) you end up collecting experiences.

and i just realized one of my life experiences is Soap coded ™️

this is silly but i promise you this 100% happened to me

picture you (me), aged 13, very insecure, nerdy, bullied a lot, antisocial bc your peers force into isolation no matter how much you try to fit in

enter johnny, also aged 13, one of the most popular boys in your grade, a footballer for the local junior league

johnny takes a liking to you (god knows why? i still haven't figured it out either) so starts talking to you in the halls

johnny and you have pretty good banter (he likes that you're abrasive and suspicious of his intentions, always telling him to leave you alone)

johnny starts asking you for hugs? (unprompted) and you refuse at first but eventually he wears you down

cue all the other boys in your grade kind of... copying him? (why are you all asking for hugs, where did you come from?)

johnny gets bolder

johnny starts proposing to you (it makes you roll your eyes every time)

johnny proposes to you during breaks from classes, in front of other students.

the others start cheering him on so he gets bolder every time.

at one point johnny proposes in front of his gf at the time :)

at one point johnny proposes during chemistry class in front of the teacher at the school lab :)

(none of this bothers you bc it's good-natured banter, at most you roll your eyes at it!)

all the other boys and girls know you as "the girl johnny's always after" and eventually it evolves to just "johnny's girl"

it stops the bullying (mostly).

high school comes.

it continues.

help?

you are not dating johnny. you don't even like him. you've never kissed. only held hands once because he sort of made you.

and yet it persists bc he shares many classes with you.

even teachers know about it.

prom comes.

johnny posts in the class group chat that he doesn't have a ride to prom.

nobody else is answering (all busy getting ready).

cue your parents giving johnny a ride.

cue your entire graduating class (many of which have known you since middle school) seeing you show up with johnny in tow.

cue him giving you an arm to hold onto because you're in your heels and gown.

everyone is cooing at the two of you and it feels super weird.

cue him demanding a pic alone with you (which only couples do, otherwise you take pics as a group).

you end up dancing with him a couple of times during the night???

still didn't kiss or anything.

you go your separate ways to school/army and whatever...

but i guess you were pseudo-dating all along and never knew about it???

[saiwestfield]

Some future stuff lolol

I just wanted to draw Jordan Kaithlyn and Nessa and them as teens because they are canonically the age I was when I first made them, so I want to draw them as the age I am now

Lot of them didn’t really change at all and that’s probably my error in making their original designs so much more mature in appearance than probably what an actual preteen looks like, but when I look back on how I used to draw them all those years ago, I still feel like they don’t look more mature now than then??? I don’t know if im making sense haha. Basically, my characters grow up with me

Anyways some notes on specific character’s designs -

Grabber (ginger with the frightening blue eyes) is wearing this (stupid looking >:T) cravat, which, —based on my limited knowledge on historical clothing— is actually a mid-late 1800s (1870’s maybe?) thing (Maybe even enlightenment era??) basically, it differs from (current) Grabber’s usual look which is more inspired by the 1880s*, and I just think it’s a fun detail to add, signifying that as Grabber gets older they kinda lean towards older (??) style clothing

*(as I bring up all these dates, know that I am referring to clothing mostly worn by mid-high (?) (somewhere between middle and high) class people in Britain)

With Kaithlyn (ginger in red hoodie), her hair has always been a struggle for me.

I wanted her to have a different hairstyle, like how she starts out with two buns which is a slightly more “childish” style, then evolves into just having a simple ponytail; but I wanted a more mature look for her here, because like, ponytails just aren’t really a thing? Anymore? Amongst teens I guess?

I don’t know if this is based on trends or a maturity thing.

So I wanted to design a different hairstyle, but I just couldn’t imagine her with her hair down or in a singular bun or anything of the sort, despite those two being most common hairstyles for teens nowadays.

But then as I was designing her for this doodle, I happened remembered the half-up half-down hairstyle! It’s perfect! I’m honestly not sure how I hadn’t thought of it before haha

I spent some time going back and forth on Nessa (flower overalls)’s haircut.

I wasn’t sure whether having her have short hair would make sense with the character development she has (which has only been illustrated in my head sorry guys).

The reason she keeps it short usually is because she wants to avoid looking like any of her family members, her sister Lily had a mid-length haircut, mostly never braided, never tied, while her sister Amy always has box braids.

I figured with her development in learning not to actively allow her family’s way of viewing her affect her would cause her to allow herself to finally have long hair.

But I realized that the way she cuts her hair isn’t only dictated by her family, and in the end she would still have short hair, but this time the only reason would be is just because she wanted to. Guess I don’t even know everything about my characters haha

Okay fourth and final one: Indigo! (She’s the one in all purple!) Her design is actually very important to me. I don’t even know where to begin lol.

Well okay, let’s start with talking a bit about representation. (Scroll down!!)

So, the story of my silly guys and their weird little island is definitely of an alternate universe where, you know, magic, demons, etc… are.. around; essentially, it’s a fantasy world. And similarly to many fantasy stories (well, mostly in modern media, especially tv shows, movies, comics, animation overall) there are… gay people! And trans people! And non-cis and non-trans people! And poc! And disabled people! And people of different cultures and ethnicities! And people with different religions! You know, people that are often considered minority groups (especially in western, mostly English speaking countries)

So, the main things I’ve seen people talk about when it comes to representation of minority groups in modern (fictional, set in an alternate world) media, is separating representation into two types:

Type 1: The it’s all just normal here. Nobody cares or mentions it at all

Type 2: There are people of these groups, and there is discrimination against it

By the way, both of these types are totally cool! It’s fine if you prefer one over the other, or if you like both. There’s nothing wrong with either

So, often with the first type, the representation isn’t often even mentioned, like characters coming out, characters stating their disabilities out loud, stuff like that. A lot of people tend to gravitate towards this version because we like escapism! Or we just want wholesomeness or conflict that doesn’t have to do with one’s identity

While in the second type, people often like it because it has relevance to the real world. Whether it is subtextual, metaphorical or literally shown or both! We like comfort but we also like to suffer!

I personally like the latter more. Mainly because I am a part of groups that have been underrepresented throughout history of media and just, overall in life! And also, I like to suffer! (Jk, sort of). I want some of my characters’ identities to be a part of their stories, designs, arcs and personalities! I like it when issues are specific and brought up in media!

So, what does this whole entire essay have to do with my fave girl Indigo?

Well, her story is important the experience of poc. (Many other of my characters are as well, but I’m just taking about Indigo in this post) So, let me preface by saying that I am mixed race, as in half poc. (half white and half East Asian) and I wanted to write some stories about wanting to fit in. Because let me tell you, despite what I may appear to be here, and despite what some parts of me want to tell myself, I have actually been very obsessed with conformity my whole life :’D yay! Okay because I’m getting lazy let me wrap this up super quickly. Throughout history, AND NOW, people, especially poc, have often tried to hide certain racial features in order to fit in with their white peers. I myself, my whole life denied having black hair because if I had black hair, unlike every other white kid in my school, that would mean I’m Asian. Which makes me different! (Obviously white people can have black hair but, I was in like 1st grade ok) I would refuse to speak Japanese throughout my young adolescence because I believed that if I would “throw away” my Japanese culture, it would mean that I’m just fully of my European culture. And this is an experience I find really common with a lot of mixed race kids, and kids of immigrant parents.

Indigo lives in a society where white people have always been in power. And, considering the fact that she is of high status, she is often pressured into trying to fit in. This causes her to be pressured by her family to “dial down” her ethnic features. Like keeping her hair straight, trying to keep her more light skinned. And Indigo is overall a very rebellious character and often does not follow these societal pressures to a T, but is still often controlled by her family and people around her. So, basically, I think as she grows up, she becomes more independent from her family and is able to make choices about her appearance. I think she chooses to wear her hair fully braided, because it is distinctly ethnic. (Changing from her half cornrows style). There are other reasons why I designed her like this, but I assume no one wants to read another 1000 word essay of mine lol

(By the way I just realized that she might come off as a masculine character, (which based on tv history of representation in especially American media does not come off great. If anyone wants to critique me in this please please please let me know!!) it is not my intention :’) I want to explore her style more outside her fancy school uniform but I haven’t had the chance to… hope I’ll have time soon!

Thanks for reading, if you did. I appreciate it a lot actually. Thank you.

[hummingbird-games]

Dev Diaries

June 15, 2023

Y’all it wasn’t (just) my asthma out to make me see the pearly gates...it was COVID ☠️ it zipped through everyone in my household, and unfortunately me and my mom got the full punch to the face. I was already pro-mask + pro-hygienic practices, but now I’m extra pro-mask complete with a death glare directed at all the uncalled for commentary from strangers.

Enough about being sick LOL, I’m making this because I want to talk about games, also sometimes I cope with humor.

Current WIPs

I know y’all sick of my shit (me too), but as far as I’m concerned, Crushed is coming out this summer!! Really!! I will make it happen even if I have to do a few updates post-release, so help me God. I want to move on to other things and I’m so antsy and pitiful looking at a nearly-done-but-not-quite-yet-project 😭

And I know Sundays and Tuesdays have been super light on content recently but I feel like I don’t have enough to share once or twice a week? (And the stuff I do have is too boring 🙂) I’ve been told to reblog older posts but as you see, the only thing I reblogged was the pinned one lol. (I promise to do better with consistency on HBG Project #3) 

(ALT text isn’t working for me right now, so below is the concept sketch for Ariel!! Obviously you see her on the key art buuuuut I originally planned to share this with y’all anyway!)

Ariel’s role...evolved during the production of this game, for lack of a better word. When I sought out to tell Corey’s story and decided against a kinetic novel experience, there were certain things I wanted to bring attention to (and certain decisions I wanted to leave in the player’s hands). This discussion will get dangerously close to spoiling the content of the endings SOOO we’ll put a pin in it!!

(The below image is a screenshot with Corey, Florence, and Jacob. The text reads “I kinda forgot she was standing there too...”)

This scene was written and coded with the rest of Corey’s friend group being off screen, but eventually I got sprites for Keegan and Oke. But I can’t help reimaging this scene with either of them and it makes me laugh so hard! That being said, I don’t imagine what you see in the demo will change in the final build buuuut who knows??

Randoms

I hinted waaay back when that I planned work on an HSDJY sequel this year. To my dismay, it’s still in the throwing spaghetti noodles at the wall stage. My ambitious ass lowkey hoped I’d have a finished draft for at least one of the routes by end of the year--because self-made deadlines 🎉, but I’m stuck in outline HELL!!!

That being said... it’s okay to work on other things, I am giving myself permission to work on other things, and I’ve been eyeing game jams. But the low stakes one where I won’t jeopardize my sanity. There’s Yuri Jam, which I participated in last year, and then there’s Once Upon A Time VN Jam WHICH LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN???? 

I’ve been doing a lot of reading while recuperating (which probably means nothing because I’m always reading??? Unless I’m in a slump. Or playing viddy games. Dude. Don’t get me started on the pitfalls of being a game developer + bookish content creator. Time management?? We broke up) and the beginnings of an idea are starting to gel! I want to make another short project, and I’m curious if I can come up with something that fits the parameters of both jams. Fingers crossedl!!

Conclusion

I...don’t have anything else to add. 

But go check out the games and projects I’ve reblogged posts about recently!!

Some are fully released, some are out soon, some have Kickstarters, and/or some are WIPs!!!

(Oh, and I guess check out High School Daze: Junior Year to see my humble beginnings)

- Gemini ✌🏾

[hecate-spawn]

wait i want to hear your project sekai vocal ranking.. if you still haven’t figured it out that’s okay but what do you have so far?

By the time you get this I'll have probably figured it out so don't worry. So from least favourite to favourite is how I'm ranking this. Sorry this to so long it was hard and I was multi tasking <3

Also I don't have Tumblr at school lmao

Warning: unpopular opinions and a long ass post

20. Akito Shinonome

I'm just not a fan of his vocals tbh. Like they're not bad they're ok. However he sounds fine in cinema and hitsuji ga ippiki. He was also fine in ame to petra

19. Toya Aoyagi

I like his voice slightly more than Akito. He sounded really good in AnToya children record and ToyaHane junky night town with Kohane. His ame to Petra cover was fine, probably my favourite solo of his, and he sounds fine in cinema and hitsuji ga ippiki.

18. Nene Kusanagi

I'd rather listen to Nene then these two however I'm not the biggest fan of her voice. Random note, when her VA was singing live my immediate reaction was "wow that is Nene's voice coming out of her mouth." but anyway Nene is too nasally for me. She sounds fine in her alts I guess, but again her voice is very nasally. However she sounds amazing in glory steady go and Goodbbye sengen with wxs. She's higher than Akito and Toya because I think she adds to the song when she's singing with everyone and when she's singing with Emu

17. Tsukasa Tenma

I like his Literary nonsense cover more than Rui's. However that's the only cover I'd buy. Not bad but not the best. Like Nene he adds to the vocals with the group and him and Rui make a pretty good duo when they sing together ex: fixer, Literary nonsense. Listening to Mr showtime reminded me why I put him here. He doesn't always sound great by himself. (However all his commissioned songs are bangers for no reason) also you should all listen to his cover of the world hasn't started yet with Emu it's really good

16. Rui Kamishiro

I like Rui's voice. His as you like it cover was one of the first ones I got (the wxs group as you like it wasn't that good) and it's good. Unlike Nene and Tsukasa and the others he sounds pretty good on his own and with the others. However he doesn't like, I don't want to say have the range, but Tsukasa's nonsense bungaku cover was better because he was able to sound clear and bring energy to it. Rui doesn't have the same energy Kasa does and sometimes he doesn't have the clarity which is why his voice is more suited for songs like fixer

15. Minori Hanasato

I almost put her higher than Emu. I like Minori's voice. It's bright and cheerful and idol like. I like her ai no material she sounds absolutely adorable. And her vampire is very nice too. I don't think she deserves 20-18th place on ranking charts however there are better vocals which is why she rounds out our bottom five. I love you Minori so I'm sorry

14. Emu Otori

Emu my baby! Honestly I want to put her higher but I can't. I actually love Emu's vocals a lot. They're always so fun and high energy. Her singing is amazing because HOLY FUCK THAT IS HIGH PITCHED. I understand the grievances about how her voice can get grating but that's only if you listen to it for like, an hour non stop. Also we all talk about her telecaster B-boy cover but never her the world hasn't started yet cover with Tsukasa. She goes lower than in telecaster and it sounds so nice like?! It's SO good. And her positive dance time cover is amazing as well and we gotta talk about her alien alien cover. Best one I've heard. Her voice doesn't go crazy high but she still has all that Emu energy. I think I've bought more covers of her than any other character tbh

13. Kohane Azusawa

Listening to Akina's covers honestly helped put Kohane this high and made me enjoy her voice more. Her voice is similar to Minori's but she goes higher because her voice has this soft like quality (her into the night cover) and it's evolved a lot since the beginning. She sounds great in hitsuji ga ippiki (I may have a slight obsession with this song) and in most songs. I love Akina's overdose cover and I'd describe her voice as lovely. Also her rapping in wa-wa-world is very fun

12. Airi Momoi

I like Airi's voice. Her Romeo to Cinderella cover is great and one of the first I bought in the game but her real MVP alt is marshmary. She goes so high and it sounds so amazing I don't think a lot of people could pull that off. Her voice is kind of a mix of Minori's and Haruka's in the sense of it's high but has this grounding feel to it. But this is as high as she goes because there are other voices I enjoy more

11. Honami Mochizuki

I love all of Honami's covers. Yes, even her Stella cover. I actually re-listened to it today (along with other characters) and I enjoyed it. Her voice is amazing (all of l/n is actually) and like, it's so warm and soft. It's like Kanade's in that sense. Speaking of Kanade

10. Kanade Yoisaki

Kanade you'll always be famous. Her covers are so good. Most emotional voice in project sekai. There's so much pain in her reborn alt and her MKDR cover OMFG- it sounds like she's going to cry it's amazing. Her hated by life itself cover was so good the Devs gave her the full song to sing by herself. People complain she doesn't have enough power in her voice but her voice isn't supposed to be powerful the may Mizuki or An's is. It's soft but delivers emotion. Also her composing the future is the closest thing you'll get to power from her

9. Mafuyu Asahina

I LOVE Mafuyu's voice. Like Kanade's voice it tends to be soft, and carries emotion at times. (Also Mafuyu has the best event songs) also her voice is so haunting. Like her cutlery cover just sounds very haunting. I'm sorry but that's the best way to describe her voice. It's soft and haunting. However that doesn't mean it doesn't have power. Ussewa and bug are two prime examples of this. It starts off soft but changes to powerful and it's so good

8. Saki Tenma

Saki's voice is so unique to everyone else's! Or at least I find that to be the case. (also has the best event songs) and her from Tokyo has so much energy it's like sunshine and rainbows and makes me want to cry in a good way. Her voice is sunshine and she does this thing with her voice making everything sound so clear and lovely. I just love her voice, she doesn't have a bad cover. Also I find her teratera cover interesting because I think (?) It's not supposed to be a happy song but the way she sings it is like, the way you'd sing a happy song but doesn't have the emotion behind it. Lmao sorry that's weird

7. Shiho Hinomori

I love Shiho's voice. No bad covers. She has a very strong voice that's low most of the time but can go high. And yes I like her Stella cover. But her kagerou daze cover is amazing and her cover of lost ones weeping as well. I like her voice and I know why people want her to be the main vocalist of Leo/need.

6. Ichika Hoshino

Listening to six trillion years and overnight story as I type this. Ichika slayed actually. She sang fast and clearly and her voice is very pleasant to the ears. She it's "nothing special" but I like it a lot. Sure her voice was high in lost one's weeping and bokura mada underground but I still think it's good. Also her night sky patrol of tomorrow cover was absolutely amazing

5. An Shiraishi

I've loved her voice since forever. Her beat eater cover was fire (and made me extra gay) her Odo cover is everything and i love how she sounds in machi, beat eater, awake now, hitsuji ga ippiki just I love her singing voice it's so An. It's unique, it's good, it's power just <3 and how she sounds in pheles is everything. So much so any time the bad dogs cover anything, my immediate reaction is "It would be better if An sang." I hate to not put her higher however this is top five and I can't have that much character bias. I do have VA bias tho lol. Jiena's cover of ifuudoudou also made me gayer lol.

4. Ena Shinonome

I love her voice and Va. I love her belting in infinitely grey, I love the way she sounds in MKDR and her lower alt is amazing. Ena is an singer and that's way she's so high (and bonus points because I like Minori Suzuki's junky night town cover) also Ena sounds good with everyone

3. Shizuku Hinomori

Shizuku's voice is soft and elegant. The best way I can describe it is her wedding card. It's soft in Shojo rei, powerful in the earth's final confession and into the night, cute in metamo re:born and emotional in color of drops. the way she sings is seamless and beautiful I could listen to it forever. Also her solo of milk crown on sonncheka is everything

2. Haruka Kiritani

I was debating on whether or not Shizuku should be here or Haruka, but I decided Haruka because her voice is stronger, she's clearer. I also find she has greater range and her voice is grounded. Like Shizuku she can sound cute, powerful, emotional, beautiful. Also her If alt vocal is everything to me. But yeah, I think Haruka only sounds slightly better than Shizuku

Mizuki Akiyama

Mizuki is every positive thing I've said about Haruka but like, 10x better. Mizuki is easy to hear, understand and they sound fucking amazing. They can do soft like Kanadetomosusora and give me your night. They can sing fast like in venom and they sound both masculine and feminine like in lower. Also their ussewa alt went SO hard. they sang so well in venom with and without Ena. Also their high notes. Example? Otome dissection. Bocca Della verita. No matter what they sing they sound amazing. Their voice is also very distinct. Tbh just listen to their venom alt it's so amazing

Ok that's it. Sorry to the wxs fans and your welcome to the Leo/need fans

And I'm so sorry Lav for taking so fucking long to answer

[joannerowling]

re: ask about people "reclaiming", homophobic slurs that are not from their language.

It's very true. and it's coming equally bad from both sides. On one hand, people of non-english upbringing, who never lived in the environment and neve were submerged in the culture, where those slurs originated from, have literally no business reclaiming them. It's just ignorant and disrespectful. If some western trans gay boy began call himself a pidor/pidorás (really violent slur for gay man in many slavic languages) since he is gay so it's okay to reclaim this quirky slavic word for gay ppl, i would go feral. I don't understand, why doesn't it work the other way. It so easy to think for a moment and understand that it's not your word to reclaim.

But on the other hand, english-speaking LGBTQ+ community has desensitised q slur so much, that for a foreigner, who is constantly in these online spaces, it's doesn't seem like it's a slur at all. A lot of new labels and genders and orientations are now including the slur, so maybe it okay to use. That's why im constantly stumbling upon people from my native online spaces, who call themselves queerplatonic or queergender or something like that. (the f slur hasn't reached us so far and i hope never will). I can totally see how someone just picked a label because it became so common in the US/Canada/UK, and the opposite opinions are drowned out by the louder crowds or labeled terfy.

I will say, to play devil's advocate here a little only for the sake of rounding the argument: language doesn't evolve spontaneously, and occasionally slurs can go from "slurs" to "no longer slurs" through cultural change. For example, in French, we have the word "con", which initially meant vagina and would have been used as a misogynistic insult (basically the same as "cunt", i believe the two are etymologically close). However today "con" has evolved to be used exclusively for men with a relatively large range in meaning (going from "dickhead" to "idiot"; sometimes it's applied in a genderless way, kind of teasingly - as in "t'es con" to mean "you're a bit of a dummie" or "you just made a bad joke/excessive one". It's all in the tone and context). Most, oh i'd really say 90% of French people at this point, have no idea what "con" used to mean. I've had that conversation with a French radfem once who said she refused to use it because of the original meaning, and my question to her was, what matters when identifying an insult, the word itself or the intent? It's an open one.

Perhaps this is what people hope will happen to "queer", though i don't think it's a good parallel with "con" - it could be if "queer" was used to design some completely different group or thing than homosexuals. You could argue it's already kind of happening though, many more people than you'd suspect have started recognising that "queer" and "gay" are different things (mostly because "queer" associations and media have completely stopped putting forth the fight for same-sex rights). I've seen that sentiment on radblr, "they can call themselves queer all they like but don't include me in it", as well as the firmer "queer is insulting period, and heteros don't get to reclaim a slur that was never thrown at them". Since it's not my language i'm not gonna pick one position over the other, but i guess both exist for equally good reasons.

(Like you i also noticed "faggot" is much less subjected to that. People seem a little more aware of that one and less willing to "reclaim it" or approriate it, outside of the worst of trans identified women. Why that is i don't know. Maybe because it's perceived as being more exclusively used for gay men, and violence against gay men is more well-known in general?)

Another thing your second paragraph highlights is something we don't talk about a lot i think: that for how culturally diverse "queer" spaces claim to be, they are fairly homogenous and singularly minded beneath the surface. Especially outside of native English speaking countries, because the kind of people who can speak English fluently enough to access these topics have specific backgrounds (it's very visible in France because people are generally not good at English here). This is why you can find several active LGBTQIA+ groups in Paris or some big cities and will struggle to find even one in much less prestigious unis.

[raisinchallah]

the recent discourse re:yuri is so curious to me. my two cents is that some of it can be attributed to the very well researched book on yuri history by erica friedman that came out a couple years back which made the seemingly legit claim that the genre started with women authors. of course the whole picture is more fraught than the viral posts i see on this paint it. and the book itself has a long section on The Bad Parts of yuri. but the quotes i see people use and word of mouth fail to mention that part. i can kind of get the defensiveness bc yuri is so often dismissed as a genre JUST for the tillitation of men in a way that really erases the quite large subculture of lesbian/bi otaku and the women writers themselves. which tbf is often the case with a lot of these subcultures (sooo much "moe" was/is written by women but was imediately dismissed as a dude thing. this kind of radicalized me as a teen.). all of that being said there WAS an interesting shift these last few years on the stories being told and how they are told (maybe because of the critical/comercial success of kabi nagata's memoirs and of series like kase-san and yagakimi? the overall evolving discourse about lgbt people on the public sphere? the uptick in openly queer women writing independent webcomics? none of these? all of these and more? shrugs). i've been reading unhinged gay manga in dynastyscans for like, a decade by now. and it's become increasingly more common for them to feature adult women, people actually saying the word "lesbian", lesbian bars even. it still surprises me constantly. comic yuri hime actually split itself in two (the idea is that the core mag is for women and the other is for men. fostering this idea of yuri by women to women). even the kirara magazine started including a lot of yuribait in its publications. which is a different beast entirely but is amusing enough that it makes me go "okay who is this FOR? yuribros? just to snatch the stray lesbian reader?". sorry for the long message i am just fascinated by all of this.

no worries at all this is actually extremely interesting thank you so much for all these extra details yeah i have been curious about like general demographic surveys or such of major yuri magazines yeah that makes sense from a lot of my research as well erica friedman seems to be the main source of a lot of information about yuri i have also wondered in general if some of the confusion around the genre also seems to come from a lot of western bookstores manga hosting sites and so on seemingly grouping memoir and short like joke comics about lesbians and so on under the yuri label i mean im sure part of that online is cuz dynasty scans has a really wide interest in what they seek out and translate which like i love that this stuff has a wider audience but its odd to call it yuri yeah ive noticed that as well in terms of shifts in whats actually focused on i read one yuri manga that was also about broader yuri fandom i guess like about a lonely lesbian who wrote yuri doujins and so on helping another manga artist find her love for drawing again and talking about like actual stuff about being gay and so on idk very interesting the places things are going like i think thats the other funny thing about the new narrative around yuri is like as you said its often kinda surprising still when characters actually say they are lesbians cuz a lot of works kinda held onto like oh ur my exception oh this will fade etc idk fascinating stuff thank u also for the details about the states of different magazines very interesting also if u wanna discuss this more in dms :3