#i guess i hope maybe youre encouraged to do things the wrong way if thats what actually works for you & your project

[bismuthburnsblue]

straight out from under the machine, but the hem came out! exactly how i wanted!!!!!!!

traditional coat linings are looser than the outside to allow for movement and to avoid pulling on the outside of the garment, and i was really trying to achieve that ease with this. the thing that made it hard(er than a regular coat) was that my hem is circular, so i couldnt just do it the common way- having the lining be shorter and folding up the outside to form the inside hem.

instead, i made a facing that matched the curve of the hem (i actually made it with the off cut from shortening the hem- the seams don't line up, but that was an intentional choice to reduce bulk at those points) sewed that onto my hem edge, understitched and thoroughly steamed it into its final place before measuring the lining to match. technically this is the wrong order of operations (really, the facing should be sewn to the lining, and then all joined to the outside at once) but this was the easier way to do things with this particular project, even if it means some jumping about and handsewing in the end.

i gave my lining enough time to do its bias stretchy thing well in advance, so to set the length i just evenly folded it up a set distance from the edge of the coat, pinned that, and then marked a line 2cm further in to the edge to overlock at. i sewed it to the facing with a 1cm seam allowance, so when its turned through, it rolls over onto itself as its a little longer than the stitch point!

its not as neat as my perfectionist self would like, but i accepted a while back in this project that this lining fabric is simply not going to allow that. it shifts and stretches and is generally a nightmare to get it to sit where you want, but god. the effect is entirely worth it.

i still need to handsew the corners where the lining meets the front facing, and im not confident the facing it going to stay up without some external stitching (ive been trying to avoid that, i may do some hand tacks so its invisible!) but other than that, its done! the only question now is, do i press it? do i put a crease into my roll over? if it was straight i probably would, but once again, the curve complicates things

[thewulf]

It Matters || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - I was thinking of a jake x reader fic, were the reader believes her opinion doesn't matter because thats all she heard her entire childhood and once jake realizes that or she tells him he starts asking for her opinion, encouraging her to talk more and goes out his way to ask her stuff he already knows.

A/N: Shorty but a goodie. Thank you for the request!

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Word Count: 1,400k +

Jake stopped pushing the cart in front of him looking over the options the store had provided. When he couldn’t decide he turned to you who stood behind him waiting, “What do you think darlin’?” He asked hoping to bring you out of your thoughts you seemed to be stuck in.

You shook your head, “I don’t mind. You can pick what you want.” You gave him a reassuring smile as he looked over the boxed macaroni and cheese choices. He’d noticed it quickly but never said much about your aversion to deciding. It’s not that you couldn’t it’s that you were almost afraid to make the decision. Were you worried about making the wrong one? Were you afraid he’d be upset? Whatever it was he decided he needed to help. He didn’t want to press you but he wanted to see if he could try. So, if you couldn’t make a big decision he’d help you make smaller ones.

You watched as he grabbed two boxes before walking over to you, “I can’t decide. What do you think darlin’? White or sharp cheddar?” He held them up for you to take a look.

You shrugged, “I really don’t mind Jake.”

He smiled a touch, “But you have a preference, I know you do.”

“So do you.” You raised your eyebrows as if to challenge him. One of the things he’d quickly fallen for about you. As much as he loved how damn stubborn you were he didn’t enjoy when he was on the receiving end.

He shook his head, “Afraid I don’t sweetheart. Going to need you to decide. My brain’s fried. Mav’s got us doing all kinds of crazy shit in training.”

Your eyes lowered at him, “If I must. Let’s do the white cheddar.”

He smiled really big at that, “Now that wasn’t so hard was it darlin’?” His smirk that drove you mad, in a good way of course, came out.

“No.” You rolled your eyes before meeting his stride. Jake decided not to push any further at the store casually trying to get your opinion on things when he saw an opening. He adored everything about you and only wanted the best.

When it came time to settle in for the night you joined Jake on the couch. He scrolled through the endless catalogue of Netflix shows that seemed to going and going. He pulled you to his side right as you sat down on the couch wanting you by his side.

“Any show you want to start?” He asked without much thought. When you tensed up in his arms he knew there was something so much more than what you were letting on. Maybe it wasn’t his place to push but he truly just wanted to help.

You shook your head quickly, “Oh no, you can put on whatever you’d like.” You were watching the television and not him, so you didn’t notice the saddened look he was giving you. When the channel didn’t change for a moment to long you looked up to him.

“Why do you do that?” He asked with that same look.

Genuinely confused you just looked at him, “Do what?”

He gave you a tight squeeze knowing what he was about to do, pry into a part of your life you kept hidden for one reason or another, “You always deflect darlin’.” Short and sweet and to the point.

You creased your eyebrows in wonder, did you? You thought back on the last three months of dating him and you did exactly that. Had you always done that? You sat there in bemusement of your own account before you felt Jake’s gentle squeeze on your shoulder.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or press you sweetheart. I just want to make sure you are alright?” It came out more of a question.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just… I guess I never really realized.” You bit down on your cheek processing his words. It dawned on you just how often you did this with everybody and everything. You were passive. Allowed people to walk all over you. It’s not like you had an awful childhood either, no, not in the slightest. You were just one of six children. Fourth in line and the third daughter. You were a joy but nothing more, nothing less. You weren’t special. You didn’t stand out from any of your brothers or sisters. You got average grades and did well in a few sports you ended up dropping out of. You were just kind of there. A secondary character in everybody’s lives.

It happened over time. You never had you opinion be known. You learned from an early age it was best to just sit down and shut the hell up. That way your mother wouldn’t tell you to shush, and your father wouldn’t throw an angry glare in your direction. It wasn’t just you they did this too. No, your entire family felt the ire of your parents desire. They wanted you to look the part of the happy little perfect family for all the pretentious faces of your city to see. That’s why you didn’t think anything of it. Your brothers and sisters were treated the same way. You weren’t really allowed to have an opinion on things. The concept felt eerily foreign to you.

To make matters worse you followed your father’s footsteps right into the military. The second you turned eighteen you enlisted in the Navy. You weren’t really allowed to have an opinion in this line of work too. It was best to do as you did before, sit down and shut up. Take the orders, do the job, and move on. That’s what you were good at. It’s like your father had trained you from a young age to act a certain way. But the curse turned to a blessing once you met Jake in flight school. You’d been fast friends for a long two years before he decided to make a move on you after the mission at Top Gun. He realized life was short and took the leap. And you were sure glad he did. You’d loved him from the moment you met him. You’d take him as friend or a lover. And you were rather thankful it was the former.

“Really?” He asked pressing his luck just a little further.

You nodded, “My father is military too. We were raised a certain way��� very strict. We weren’t exactly allowed to voice our thoughts.” Not elaborating any further you tore your eyes away feeling a flush of embarrassment rip right on through you.

“You know that’s not right? It’s okay to have an opinion. I want you to have opinions! I want to make you happy.” You felt him wrap his arm around you waist giving it a gentle squeeze for some form of comfort.

“I just didn’t think it mattered. My voice never mattered.” You whispered feeling awfully vulnerable as his eyes bore into your side.

He answered quickly, “It matters. Darlin’ your voice matters so much, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded, “I can’t… I can’t guarantee I’ll be perfect though Jake. I’ve never had a say. It’s always been told to me. I’m so sorry.”

He grabbed your chin and gently lifted it to look at him. It was agonizing to watch the inner turmoil from your head play out in front of him, “Please don’t apologize. I understand. And if I don’t I’ll try too. I want you to know how much I love you darlin’. I care about what you think. I want to get and do things that make you happy too.”

Your eyes went wide just as his did, “You love me?” He’d never said it out loud before, but he’d loved you for a long time, long before you’d been dating.

“I do.” He nodded knowing he wasn’t going to back out of it. He’d refrained from saying it so he wouldn’t scare you away really. He would’ve told you the night of your first date had he known you wouldn’t have run away. But he knew you. Knew how timid you could be about relationships and feelings. He’d watch you from afar as you tiptoed around these kinds of things in the past.

“That’s good.” You nodded not letting your eyes break from his.

You felt a rumble from his chest and heard a laugh bubble up, “Is that so?”

“Yeah.” You grinned.

“And why’s that?” He pressed as his lips inched closer to yours.

“Because I love you too.” It was almost silent as closed the distance between the two of you. The kiss was different. A little more passionate. Filled with a touch more understanding. He smiled when he pulled back studying your sweet face. He’d successfully knocked another block down from the wall that was slowly crumbling down at his efforts.

Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @mamachasesmayhem

[dirtyyybimbo]

First and foremost: please take care of yourself while your are in the lows. You don't have a caring master to take care of you during the aftercare phase. Wrap yourself in a comfy blanket, eat something nice and distract yourself with a feeling-good movie/series.

Second: I inmensely enjoyed your narration, and read it several times. I'd like to read more of your experiences. Honestly, I'd LOVE to see you all geared up, filthy and degraded. (The twintails were an unexpected surprise).

I think you enjoy being "worded" because It reflects your true self. Maybe soon you'll write up some nasty truths over your body and go to work/do chores outside/ meet Friends while your clothes cover those words... But you get excited of knowing how close you are to be "seen".

Third: Next time write 'slut' in reverse in your forehead, so you'll be able to properly read it in your mirror image.

Finally: I had a wonderful day, thanks for your kind words.

I expect to read more about you, bimpi.

Keep It Up.

i. 🙈 well, just so you know im totally blown away by this message. like in a good way but.

thank you. really its. thank you. 💜🩷🤍

i totes appreciates it. i have hormones imbalance so i tend to be pretty much in tunes with my mood and the fact that they arent "normal" so i knew hot to deal with it. it still sucks but i did ate something nice and went all comfy comfy in bed. but thats a very nice bit of knowledge to pass around cause it , i really appreciate you saying that. 💫

and wow. i didnt think it would be read at all to be honest so wow. even more if you enjoy it. (i totes blushed when reading your message tbh) not that i need that much encouragement to write about my situations but let me tell you i really really want to continue now and hope the rest will be nice enough. i do have to get some idea about what to do but there is enough depravities to get around i guess.

reading your analysis is probably spot on and a little bit scary i have to be honest. like yes, yes thats it and thats me and thats terrifying a little. and exciting which it prob shouldnt be. but it is what is is. and i already went outside with writing on me i admit. i think my pulse went crazy the whole entire day at work. a mix between manic panic and intense excitation. i drenched my panties without a doubt, incapable of thinking much about anything else. i get very obsessed with thing, hyper fixating easily and that was one thing i couldnt forget.

pretty sure i lost myself somewhere.

anyway. rambling is also a problem.

i keep the slut in a corner of my mind. absolutely integrated to the (as of right now) very empty program but its added. only item on it. just writing it makes me all tingly. something is definitely wrong with me. (i mean, the wrongest is probably that i love it but whatever)

thank you. you made my day. absolutely made my day and you have all my (i cant find the english word but know that you have all of it)

thank you. 🧡💛

have a good night? week-end? life.

definitely life. 🥰

hoping to here from you again.

(im going to stop acting like were in downtonwn abbey now. or the very dirty version anyway.)

bye. 💌

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

hehehe hiii i was wonderinggg what if you were dating ron but he got jealous of you flirting with lee jordan so hes fucking you pretty roughly to remind you who you belong to and lee walks in and it turns into a threesome but ends w ron breeding you?

heheh sorry if thats alot

pairing: ron weasley x reader x lee jordan 

warning(s): 18+, unprotected sex, threesome, oral (male receiving), rough sex, dirty talk, degradation, praise, breeding kink, cumplay

word count: 2.3k 

a/n: ron just makes me weak. he’s probably my number two guy in the harry potter universe right behind draco. and you can’t convince me he’s not a dom. he is. he’s daddy. anyways, this request literally blew me away and the addition of lee was just so good. i just hope i did it justice. enjoy!

It was the Gryffindor party of the year. The streamers were out, the Wealsey twins’ fireworks were exploding left and right, and the alcohol was flowing. You boyfriend, Ron, had just helped lead Gryffindor into winning what seemed like their millionth consecutive Quidditch Cup so him, along with the rest of the team, seemed to be the stars of the show. 

While the team was making their rounds, you stuck close to Lee Jordan, the twins’ best friend and the best Quidditch commentator around. You weren’t flirting exactly, but it was nice to have the attention of a man when your boyfriend was busy. Little did you know, Ron was keeping a close eye on you. 

“You look smokin’ tonight,” Lee told you genuinely, a drunk smile slapped on his face. 

“Thanks, you clean up nice yourself,” you said back, nudging into his side gently. 

Lee swung an arm over you and dipped his head low to whisper in your ear. “Too bad you have a boyfriend or you’d be coming upstairs with me tonight.” 

“Maybe I’d like that,” you added suggestively, scooting closer to him on the small couch by the fire. 

“Speak of the devil,” Lee said ominously, nodding his head in the direction of Ron, who was making his way over to you swiftly. 

He had to dodge a few people who wanted to drink with the winning Keeper himself, but he finally made him way over to you and grabbed your hand, hoisting you up off the couch without a word. Next thing you knew, you were being dragged through the party and up to his dormitory.

“What are you doing?” You asked giggling, unclear just why he was dragging you up here. 

“I could ask you the same,” he said once you made it through the door. He released your hand and spun around to face you and you could see the anger written clear as day over his face. “What the fuck was that downstairs?” He demanded. 

“I was just having a chat with Lee. What’s wrong with that?” You asked indignantly. 

“‘Just having a chat’”, he mocked. “You were two seconds away from fucking him right infront of everyone!” 

“Ron, you know I’d never do that. Don’t be like this,” you pleaded, even though a part of you knew you were in the wrong. But the facts were your boyfriend was ignoring you for a better part of the night and Lee looked really good. 

“It seems to me like someone needs a reminder about whose pussy this is,” Ron said, grabbing you by your waist harshly and using one hand to cup your core through your leggings. All you could do was whimper before he attacked your lips with his, backing you up until you collapsed down onto his bed. 

“Tell me who fucking owns you, Y/N,” he demanded, quickly beginning to strip you of your clothes. 

“You. You do,” you told him, trying to make him see reason before he absolutely destroyed you and you couldn’t walk for a week. But it looks like no matter what you did it would be no luck. 

Next thing you knew, your pants were around your ankles and your lace underwear was being pushed to the side as he lined his cock up with your core, already wet from a full night of being horny and desperate for cock. 

“Care to explain to me what my little slut is doing this wet? I know it’s not from me,” he commented, his eyes burning with fire. 

“I wanted you all night, Ron. Please,” you begged helplessly, although you knew it made little difference. 

A large hand came down to smack your clit forcing your body to jerk and for you to let out a yelp. “Don’t fucking lie to me. I know you’re wet because you’ve been practically dry humping Lee all night. Guess it’s just my job to remind you whose cock makes you cum,” he said roughly, plunging his cock into you in one harsh thrust. 

You let out a cry and gripped his arms, nails digging into his biceps and feeling them flex beneath your fingertips. His thrusts were vicious, his cock so deep inside of you that you could feel it in your stomach. He was hitting your g-spot with every roll of his hips, his pelvis rubbing against your clit and making you moan loudly. 

“Fuck, Ron. You feel so good,” you cried out, wanting to prove to him how much you needed him - not any other man. 

“Good, take it. Then we’ll see if you even dare to look at another guy when I bring you back down there,” he growled out, his hand coming up to wrap around your throat. 

Just as you let out another loud moan, the noise of the door creaking open caused both your heads to snap in its direction. Ron immediately went to cover you before he realized who it was, a smirk growing on his face. Without taking his eyes off the person in the doorway, he spoke directly to you. “You wanted Lee’s cock so bad, huh bunny? Well now’s your chance,” Ron said, tilting his head to invite your guest in. 

Ron pulled out of you just as Lee came into your vision and you swallowed harshly, unsure how to go about this. “Hi gorgeous,” Lee said with a wink, coming around to the other side of the bed. 

Suddenly, Ron flipped you over roughly, completely manhandling you until you were on all fours - your core exposed for Ron and your mouth right in line with Lee’s cock, the bulge obvious in his pants. 

You felt Ron’s cock trailing through your slit just as Lee went to undo his pants and you were simply trapped between the two men, no other choice but to comply with what was happening. Not that you were complaining either exactly. If anything, the entire situation made you that much wetter. 

“Go on bunny. I wanna watch you suck his cock while I fucked you,” Ron encouraged, continuously just dipping the tip of his cock into you and pulling back out, making you squirm. 

Finally, Lee had his cock out of his briefs and was stroking it languidly in front of your face, waiting for you to take the bait. Hesitantly, you opened your mouth and wrapped your lips around the tip, causing both boys to let out a groan that reverberated around the room. 

Ron rocked into you roughly, forcing your whole body forward and your mouth to engulf Lee’s entire cock. You gagged around him, his hands coming to grip your hair to keep you down until you couldn’t breath before he let you back up. 

“She feels so good, mate,” Lee commented to Ron over your body as if you weren’t even there. You were just their plaything right now, and that was something you could do well. 

“Trust me, I know,” Ron said, a cockiness in his voice that wasn’t usually there caused by how turned on he was seeing you pleasure another man. He knew all too well what you were capable of. “You hear that bunny? Keep making us feel good,” Ron coaxed, his hips returning back to their fast pace from earlier, rocking your whole body up and down on both of their cocks. 

“Doing so good gorgeous. Fuck, look at you,” Lee mused, his fingers trailing down your face. 

Your eyes flicked up to his and you had to let out a moan at how dominant Lee looked above you. You were relishing in being dominated by these two men who turned you on so much. It was the perfect culmination of the events of the night and the coil in your stomach was growing tighter and tighter with each passing moment. 

You doubled down with enthusiasm on Lee’s cock, wanting to get him as close as possible before your inevitable release that was creeping up on you far too quickly. 

“Look at my little filthy slut. You fucking love this don’t you, Y/N? You love showing someone else how filthy you can be for me, huh?” Ron asked, leaning down so his chest was pressed to your back and his lips were trailing along your shoulders. You tried your best to nod, but Ron gripped a chunk of your hair and pulled you off of Lee’s cock easily. “Use your words, bunny,” he said roughly, his thrusts never faltering. 

“Yes, fuck. I love it. Fuck, I’m so close, Ron please,” you exlaimed through unashamed moans, voice trailing off into a whine the longer he held your head back. 

“You think she deserves to cum tonight?” Ron asked Lee pointedly, once again going back to ignoring your presence despite how much pleasure you were giving both of them. 

“Not sure, she was a naughty little thing tonight,” Lee mused, his cock rocking in and out of your mouth as he spoke. He seemed like he was totally unaffected as he continued. “She told me that if she didn’t have a boyfriend she would have come up here with just me tonight, isn’t that right gorgeous?” Lee informed Ron, teasing you in the process. 

“Course she did,” Ron said, the annoyance heavy in his tone.”She’s just a little whore who wants attention, isn’t that right?” He asked, a hand coming down with a loud crack on your ass, a yelp fighting to come out of your throat as you gagged around Lee again. 

“Ron, please,” you begged, panting harshly. 

“You better fucking wait and hold it until I fill you up, do you understand me?” Ron asked, his hand snaking around your throat again. You could only whimper before Lee’s cock went right back into your mouth, hard and heavy on your tongue as you worked your hardest to get him off before you. 

Your legs were trembling on the bed and the only reason you were still upright at all was because of Ron’s unwavering grip on your hip and throat. 

You could tell Lee was close when you felt him twitch on your tongue, and it was only a moment after that you tasted his cum explode inside your mouth while he groaned your name. You continued your ministrations until he pulled out, waiting until he made eye contact with you before you swallowed it all down harshly. “Fuck,” Lee mumbled, looking down at you in awe.

“Such a good slut, swallowing him all down like that,” Ron commented, having felt the way your throat bobbed underneath his hand. He was only pounding harder, making it that much harder for you to hold off your inevitable orgasm and your whole body was trembling and sweating now. 

“Please,” you whined again, out of breath and desperate for release. 

“Tell me what you want, bunny. Use those pretty words,” Ron mused, pulling you up by your throat until you were both balanced on your knees on the best with his chest pressed closely against your back. 

You turned to look at him, back in your bubble of just you and him, before you began to beg in earnest. “Ron please, cum in me. Need to feel it. Fill me up, please,” you begged, your hips grinding back into his with every thrust. 

“Fuck, bunny,” Ron rasped out, growing close to his own release. “Cum for me and I’ll fill you so deep. You’ll be dripping for fucking hours when I’m done,” he said, spewing promises and permission all in one breath. 

You came with a cry, vision going white as your body exploded. You were trembling in his arms, incoherent noises falling from your lips and your eyes squeezed shut. When you felt his cum filling you up, it was almost like a second orgasm going through you, your body tensing and releasing again with such a force that you thought you were going to collapse. You were so full of it that it was leaking out around his cock, trailing down your legs and onto the sheets. You rode out both your orgasms, your hips grinding down on his cock until you couldn’t take it anymore, falling back against his chest. 

When your hooded eyes finally found Lee’s form again, he looked like he’d just seen a goddess in the flesh. “You look incredible when you cum, gorgeous,” Lee praised, unable to take his eyes off of you. 

You gave a breathless chuckle, unable to give either of them any words right now. 

Ron caught his breath well before you and pulled out, letting his cum leak from your and down your legs. He gently pushed you forward until your hips were raised so he could watch it spill out, trailing his fingers around your slit to collect as much of his own cum as he could. 

Lazily, he brought his fingers up to your mouth. He didn’t even have to prompt you, you immediately took his fingers into your mouth and sucked off every last drop. His eyes glazed over again, already ready for round two, but Lee spoke up before either of you got carried away. 

“That was fucking incredible,” he said, making your eyes snap back to him. He was already redressed completely and clearly wanting to give you two some space. “If you ever want a third again, you know where to find me,” he added with a wink before departing from the room, causing you and Ron to chuckle. 

“Was that all okay with you?” Ron asked hesitantly. “I know you would have said something but I never really asked,” he said, sounding guilty. 

“That was fucking incredible, Ron. I had fun and you know I trust Lee,” you told him genuinely. “But I really just want you to myself now,” you said, a playful smile coming to your face as he laid down beside you. 

“Good cause I don’t think I’d be up to sharing you again for a while. You’re my girl. My perfect, slutty girl.”

[obae-me]

Hi! It said requests were open so here is one. So pretty much how the brothers would react to an MC who says "I love you" after they had helped them with something. Thats something I do regularly, like someone helps them and they respond with "Oh my gosh I love you, thank you so much!" Cause. Affection. Idk, i just found the idea to be cute.

This is such a cute idea! I hope I pulled it off okay, for some reason Belphie’s is a bit angsty because I like pain I guess, but most of it is fluff! Thank you for your suggestion! 💜

Lucifer

He openly admitted it caught him off guard at first. What he will never admit is how harshly the air escaped from his lungs. Or how quickly his mind went blank at the words. 

He had simply brought MC some tea, noticing how hard they had been studying. Working day and night to try to catch up and understand topics demons themselves had spent decades learning. He was proud of them for working so hard. He settled the tea down by them, watching them beam with appreciation. 

“Is that for me?” 

Their question elicited an amused hum from him. “Is there anyone else in here?” 

They wrapped their fingers around it excitedly, entirely grateful. “Ugh, thank you, I love you, I needed this.” 

He had been lucky he settled the teacup down before they spoke. Had it remained in his hands, he most assuredly would’ve dropped it, or spilt the contents at the very least. He was not prepared at all. They hadn’t been down here nearly long enough to fall in love with him, right? Was he that alluring? He must’ve done something wrong, he was sure he had been focused solely on being intimidating. He didn’t remember doing anything in particular to elicit such a response. He was flattered, but...maybe--surely-- he had heard incorrectly. 

“You…” He blinked a few times as he shoved his emotions into the back of his mind, the silent screaming in his head muffled by his usual calm exterior. “..love me?”

MC covered their mouth with their hands, recognizing his confusion no matter how hard he tried to hide it. “No, no!” 

Well now he was a bit irritated, and secretly disappointed even. Were they playing a joke on him? 

They stammered and turned more in their seat to look at him. “What I mean is, I just kinda use the term ‘I love you’ as a general term, not an…” They blushed, “..intimate one. I say it all the time to people, I’m really sorry for confusing you. I’ll try not to say it as casually.” 

It was a bit unusual to hear something like that thrown around so often, it reminded him of his days in the Celestial Realm, love thrown around at the drop of a hat. The Devildom was a lot less...affectionate. He shook his head, any sign of his surprise now completely gone from view. “Don’t change a harmless habit like that for me, I just wasn’t expecting it. I’ll know now for the future.” 

It takes him quite a while to get used to it, taking every ounce of concentration not to blush whenever MC says that they love him. Once he does get used to it, he’s fond of it and may or may not continually go out of his way to perform some simple gesture to encourage them to say it to him more often. It takes even longer after that for him to finally respond with “I love you too” making them stop dead in their tracks, heart fluttering, mouth ajar, much like he did that first day when he brought them a simple cup of tea. He relished the look on their face.

How such a human stirred up these feelings within him is beyond his understanding. 

Mammon 

He was an open mess when MC first expressed it to him. He’d done what? Just find a pretty rock on the ground? It was shiny and smooth, surely worth a fortune, but when he went to see how much it was worth, it was declared utterly worthless. So he gave it to MC--but only because it was useless okay?! It’s not like he likes MC or anything, that’s not what this is about. Obviously.

He handed it over, acting casual, like it was nothing. Their eyes lit up at it, watching it glint mesmerizing colors in the moonlight, reacting like it might as well have been a diamond. “Whaaat, it’s so cool, I love you, thank you!” 

“Don’t say I never do anything for-” It had taken a few seconds to process, but once he realized the words that had come out of their mouth, he went frozen. Rigid. His other brothers might’ve called it a miracle. His jaw was open, his glasses had somehow slipped to the end of his nose, threatening to fall off. He didn’t even blink.

“I’m sorry, I guess demons aren’t quite used to that huh? I use it as a friendly term, I used to say it to my friends all the time back home.” 

He was still as stone for a good long time, gradually building up the concern in MC’s chest the more he was reactionless. Had they broken him? Once he finally gathered his one erratic brain cell in order, it was like someone hit a sudden unpause. He quickly puffed out his chest with both his hands on his hips. The explanation they gave him went in through one ear and out the other, as he was still focused on the ‘I love you’. 

“Don’t freak me out like that, human, but of- of course if you were to love someone, it’d be me, eh? I don’t blame you, it would be hard to resist the Great Mammon.” 

He’ll get a big head about it, strutting around, bragging to anyone who would listen--not that he gave them a say on the matter--that MC expressed they loved him. Doesn’t matter if there were romantic intentions or not, MC loved him, and he wouldn’t let it go. He’ll ignore the fact that MC will say that to most anyone.

“Yeah, well, when they say that about me, it’s different!” Or he’ll put on an act. “Yeah? Not like I care about some dumb human!” 

The more he takes time to know MC, the more possessive he acts, and he gets a little bent out of shape anytime MC says ‘I love you’ so casually to anyone other than him. Mostly because he’s greedy for it, he wants those words to be his and his alone. He wants MC to be his...and his alone. 

“Oi, MC, you can’t just go saying that to anyone...It’s our thing...you know?” He’ll get endlessly teased about it by everyone in the household, but no matter how much he gets pestered about it, he still wants to hear MC say it.

Only if things get romantic between them, will he be vulnerable with MC. Whenever they’re alone, he’ll get in close, melting against MC’s touch. With MC he can feel these strange and addicting feelings. With his hidden insecurities coming to light, he’ll ask MC the same question every night. “You love me, right? Like...love love me?...I...love love you too.”

Levi 

MC had been convinced they gave the poor boy an actual heart attack. Although, to be perfectly fair, almost anything MC does puts Levi in a tizzy. It’s not their fault, he’s just sensitive. 

They had been playing games together, nothing too unusual. Together, MC and Levi, the Best Friend Duo, battled an intense match against other real players. It had been close, but with both of their talents combined (admittedly Levi doing a lot of impressive carrying) they managed to strike victorious. 

MC felt a rush, their head tingling a bit. They had been on the edge of their seat the whole time, positively exhilarated when they won. “Whoo! That was all thanks to you, Levi! I love you!” 

First, MC heard the controller clatter out of his hands. They turned to look at him, his face went completely red, his eyes flicking back and forth out of control, not focusing on anything in particular. He had a hand clutching over his chest. Then to add on top of that, he completely collapsed. 

“Levi!” MC’s shout was loud enough to bring some of his other brothers to check the commotion. After a short examination, they declared that Levi was fine, just dazed and lightheaded, although the color in his face refused to go away for quite some time. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I meant it in a friendly way.” 

He’ll end up locking himself in his room for days on end after the event, trying to wrap his head around how ‘I love you’ and ‘friendly’ could ever be even remotely the same. That’s not how it’s supposed to go! It’s supposed to be like...like in fiction where both of the love interests are alone, finally having the chance to meet up under a pretty sky, possibly under strenuous circumstances beyond their control, inevitably forcing them to admit their feelings! 

He’ll get over it, he always does, but when he comes back he finds out MC now deliberately avoids saying ‘I love you’ to him. They meant it for his own safety, truly, but his Envy is now rubbing away at his normal shy personality. 

It'll get to the point where he can’t hold back anymore. “How come you tell everyone else you love them but me!” 

“Because last time...you collapsed, and then went MIA for almost a week! I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. Is this not what you wanted?”

He ends up using his arm to cover his burning face. “I...I...I...I…” After several more consecutive ‘I’s, Levi finally tells MC that he didn’t want to be treated differently, he wanted MC to tell him that they loved him too. “Because I...lo..lo...lov...I appreciate you, MC!” 

MC will chuckle a little, giving him one of his favorite headpats. “I love you too, Levi.” He doesn’t collapse this time, but feels his knees get a little weak. He refuses to remove his arm from his face because now there are fresh tears flooding from his eyes that he doesn’t want MC to see. He loves them too, so much his physical body can’t handle it. Even if he doesn’t have the courage yet to say it, he’ll tell them one day. 

Satan 

He’s quite angry with himself for how he reacted, which isn’t a huge surprise. He does wish he would’ve handled it better, but he had no idea those three words would be sprung on him so suddenly. 

He’s usually quite down to earth, but not even the many romance novels he’s read--and if you tell anyone that he reads gushy romance novels, he will kill you--had prepared him for this. Where was the buildup, the slow rising passion before the eventual confession? Despite occasional temper tantrums and pranking tendencies, he’s truly an old soul. He’s a ‘my dearest, shall we take a stroll, and perhaps, should our shoulders brush, would you permit me a show of boldness, of passion, I dream for the day our fingers intertwine’ kinda guy. So MC’s ‘I love you’ was many chapters early for him. 

He’d crossed paths with MC near the front door to the House of Lamentation. MC had just gotten back from RAD, being kept by Diavolo himself. Every one and a while, after classes, Diavolo personally checks up on them to discuss the program. Meanwhile, the demon of wrath was just on his way out, a full stack of books in his arms. 

“Hey, Satan, where’re you off to?” MC attempted to catch his gaze behind the many tomes stacked against his chest. 

“Ah, off to return these books back to the Library.” Some hair fell before his face, but with the absence of free hands, he utilized a puff of air from his mouth to blow the strands away. 

“I see, be safe then, love you!” 

The words caught him off guard, and with his focus distracted, his foot caught against an unfortunate crack in the pathway. He tumbled, the books in his arms scattering themselves all over the front yard. MC turned and attempted to help, but with Satan’s panicked scramble, he ended up smacking his head against MC’s. 

“My-uh-apologies-I-” He stuttered while he frantically tried picking up the books, only to have some continue to slip from his arms. 

“Here, use my bag,” MC opened the backpack that had been around their shoulders. It was already full of some textbooks and assignments, but it was enough to lessen some of the struggle. He gave them a small thank you as he slung the bag over his shoulder, the remaining stragglers tucked under his arm. He waited till MC went back into the house, and then he angrily tore the front gate off its hinges. He looked like such an idiot just now. 

He knows MC means not much of it other than general affection, once he thinks about it. Alongside Lucifer, anytime MC now says it, he’ll act unaffected by it. The truth is, the never ending rage burning beside him magically subsides anytime those words fall from their lips. 

If he works softly and intelligently enough, perhaps he’ll have forged a tight enough bond where MC can say it for real, and the fire in his soul can find some peace. 

Asmo

Honestly, despite his over dramatizations and flamboyant nature, he’s the least affected out of all the brothers. Trust him, he’s had plenty of demons try to crawl their way back to him after a night of fun, insisting that they’re in love with him. So, he’s heard it a lot, and it’s not his favorite. That being said, he discovered that MC is probably the only one he’ll tolerate the dreaded L word with. 

He’d sat there, working on MC’s nails, giving them one of his—as he calls it—Asmo-tastic manicures. MC appreciates the pampering, even if Asmo uses it mostly as an excuse to hold hands and get close to the human. 

When Asmo was complete, MC looked down at their newly soft hands with beautifully decorated nails, feeling a bit closer to the demons now that they had matching manicures. “It’s beautiful, Asmo, I love you, thanks!”

His chest did flutter a bit, and he let out a stream of giddy giggles as he pressed MC into him for a hug. “MC, you’re so cute, I can’t take it!” 

He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t use the words ‘I love you’ ever, no matter what, but if MC was using it so casually, why can’t he, it didn’t mean much of anything right? He quickly turns a 180 on the idea, and says it as often to MC as he can. 

“Bye, MC, love you, dear! You’re wearing the outfit I gave you? I love you!” But his new form of affection is now not just centered towards the human, it’s now directed towards his brothers as well. No one is safe. “You’re giving me this, Lucifer? I love you! Beel, a snack for me? I love you!” 

He’s such a hype man, and the affection spreading throughout the House of Lamentation by his and MC’s hand is infectious. Even if they don’t mean to, simply Asmo’s added influence has the brothers saying ‘I love you’ to each other more often, which has led to plenty of entertaining moments. Mammon said it once to Lucifer on accident, which admittedly filled the eldest with a bit of pride, especially at seeing Mammon’s mortified face. Beel and Belphie have no problem saying it between themselves, although it leaves them softer than they had been in a while. But perhaps the most shocking of them all was when Lucifer sleepily mumbled it to Satan, who then parroted it back to him without thinking. Both were a bit flustered, but Satan was so angry about it he wanted to tear both Lucifer’s and his own tongue out. The two refuse to talk about it, but they were both a little softer to each other that week. 

But why are we talking about the others? This should be all about Asmo! You know how when someone continually says something out of irony after a while they end up speaking it unironically? That’s what was happening to Asmo, much to his confusion and unfortunately his fear. He had never...loved someone before, not in a romantic way, it was too much commitment, it was too much...emotion. But the more he continued telling MC he loved them...the more he started to believe it. The more he noticed the little things about them that he couldn’t get enough of. So one day, he stopped saying ‘I love you’ altogether.

MC met with him in private, concerned over his new out of character action. “Asmo? What’s wrong, I noticed you’ve been...distant, which isn’t like you.” 

Of course they would notice, they always did. “Oh...MC...I…” For once, he was actually shy, covering up his own beautiful face to hide, an incomprehensible action. He could barely speak, he was so...scared? “MC I think...I...I think I love you.”

Beel 

He was second place in the ‘staying calm’ category when MC said it. He’s a family man, loving those around him is in his nature. So hearing MC say those words, he merely took it as a family thing, and he was all too happy to bring MC into the family. 

He noticed MC had been looking just a bit run down, and so, he shared a single snack with them. They practically glowed, looking up at him with a heart-melting smile. “Thanks Beel, I love you, thank you!” 

Suddenly the food he was eating tasted ten times better, and he had been fully convinced for a while that it was some magic spell MC put on him. He almost ends up crying. Honestly, it’s been such a long time since he’s heard words like those. He didn’t realize how starved he was for affection. He pulls them into a tight hug that lasts for several minutes. He let them go eventually, but only because he needed hands to eat. He continued to scarf down the mouth-watering food, although the ache in his stomach wasn’t as pronounced as it had been. 

He ends up giving MC a little snack anytime they say ‘I love you’, because he finds them adorable, and his way of reciprocating affection is with food. He loves MC immensely, so it’s only natural he shares his favorite things with them. Only, he was unaware that he was more or less training MC and himself by doing this. In fact, it was unbeknownst to everyone save Satan, who is very aware of what Pavlov’s Theory is. Satan doesn’t say anything though, he wants to see how this plays out. 

The more MC says ‘I love you’ the more they get rewarded by Beel, and the demon has now conditioned himself by associating food with MC’s tenderness and endearment. MC steadily increases the time they spend with the demon of gluttony, almost stuck to his side as often as Belphie. MC finds they can’t help but smother him with love and affection, which Beel can’t get enough of since gluttony is his sin. And Beel discovered that he always has some sort of treat on hand that he refuses to touch because it’s MC’s. 

The day MC finally caught on was the day Satan finally intervened. He himself spent some private time with MC, and, much like Beel had for a while now, he gave MC an unsolicited treat. 

They hardly looked at him as they instinctively stated, “I love you!” Then ended up pausing for a long time. Satan teased them mercilessly before he explained, and MC felt their entire body grow hot with embarrassment. However, they took this opportunity to do something for Beel in return. They prepared a big meal for him, texting him to bring him down into the dining room, just for the two of them. His eyes grew wide at the sight of the banquet, but for once, his first instinct wasn’t to eat. He wrapped MC tightly in his arms, tears almost streaming down his face. MC’s presence seemed to satiate him almost as well as a twelve course meal. 

“I love you, MC! I love you so much!” 

Belphie

As shocking as it is, Belphie reacted the most severely. Which if you actually take the time to think about it, probably isn’t that surprising at the end of the day. It was the last thing he expected to hear, especially after everything that happened. 

All he had done was run into MC in the hall. Lucifer had called Light’s Out and anyone who didn’t want to be punished would be heading straight to bed. Since he sleeps all day, he was fairly awake at this hour, not to mention recently he had felt annoyingly restless. Finally free to roam the house like he wished left him wandering and wanting. There was still something he needed, but he wasn’t sure what. MC stepped past him to get to their room, already looking exhausted, a large yawn escaping their lungs. 

“Heading to bed?” They asked him, and he still found it difficult to bring his eyes up to theirs. 

“Maybe soon.” He acted nonchalant. 

MC rubbed their eyes, gently touching his shoulder as they passed. “Okay, love ya, get some good rest.” 

He was grateful MC had immediately walked into their room, because he wasn’t prepared for how extreme his body would react. He found the energy upholding his legs went missing, and he had to lean against the closest wall to keep from crumpling to the ground. He continued to try to trick himself into believing he didn’t care. They were a human, he didn’t care, why would he care? Why should he feel guilty for everything he’d done? He was a demon, a monster, he’d embraced that when he fell, or he thought he did. But...being around MC...it made him feel like he was back in the Celestial Realm, filled with hope, with love, something he was sure he’d never truly feel again. 

He recalled before the inevitable fall what his dear sister had told him before his life had been shattered before his eyes. “Remember Belphie, I love you.” 

He couldn’t hold himself up any longer, clutching his pillow to his chest as the hole in his heart he had filled with sleep and anger crumbled away. He pressed his face deep into the fluff of the cushion as he sobbed. His heart felt like it was stinging like wounds often do when they’re cleaned and healing. It hurt. It threatened to break him. He had tried avoiding feelings. How could MC be so nice to him after everything? What had he done to deserve it? 

Beel, influenced by the magical connected emotions to his twin, left everything he had been eating behind to come get him immediately. The intense pounding in his chest worried him to no end, he needed to find Belphie now. He found the demon of sloth curled up on the floor of the hallway, convulsing and shaking from violently crying. Beel hated seeing his beloved brother like this, but on the inside he was secretly thankful. He knew Belphie couldn’t keep acting like nothing mattered, it wasn’t healthy. He was finally coming to terms with everything, opening the door to finally, after all this time, being able to move on. 

The next time the human sees the youngest brother, they see that he’s a little more aware, maybe not quite awake, but mindful of the people around him. For once, he talks about what he’s going to do in the future, looking forward instead of repeating broken events of the past. He finds that being around MC, if they’ll let him, helps the feeling in his ribs hurt a bit less, that the personality he thought had been locked up was starting to escape. Life itself matters a bit more than it used to. He has to be ready though, because he can’t afford to cry in front of his brothers the next time MC tells him ‘I love you’. Even if they think nothing by it, it means more than the world to him. But as always, he’ll act apathetic about it. 

He’s working on it though, and all because MC showed him a bit of kindness despite his unforgivable actions. All he needed was a bit of love.

[thr-333]

Just Another Class Trip :) Part 8

News gets out and everyone handles it calmly and respectfully.

First< Previous >Next

--------------------------

“Hi Tom, Sabine, how are you,” Selina gives a fake smile, not waiting for them to answer, “So Marinette's in town,”

“Yes is something wrong?” Tom asks worriedly.

“No nothing is wrong,” If you didn’t count the villain attacking the pool yesterday as wrong, “It’s just um, you know how I never told you who her father was?”

“Yes,”

“Well, apparently Gotham didn’t need the help and figured it out pretty much immediately,”

“So does that mean we finally get to be in the loop?” Tom’s eyes sparkle, he had always bothered her for the identity of his adopted daughter's father.

“Oh no one special, you probably haven’t heard of him,” They most certainly have, “Bruce Wayne?”

“... You dated Bruce Wayne?” The man who had become like a brother to her asks.

“I’m actually engaged to him now,” that already sounded so complicated and it wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. How did her life become so complicated? Well, at least she had managed to keep Marinette from it, well at least for a while.

“Congratulations!” He booms, “Oh what's the theme? We'll make you a cake! Wait no we cant send it by plane… what am I talking about! We’ll come to Gotham to make it! Unless it’s a destination wedding? A beach might be hard but I’m always up for a challenge,”

“Tom, Tom, it’s exciting I know,” Where did Marinette fall on the nature vs nurture scale? Because these two reacted exactly the same way, “But we have bigger problems right now!”

“What's the matter, Selina?” Sabine asks with motherly concern, much better than Selina could ever hope to manage.

“People figured it out… pretty much the second she stepped into Gotham at that,” Selina sighs, “The press is going crazy with theories, paparazzi basically stalking Marinette, Bruce is trying to talk to her about it … and he saw me with her, he knows somethings up,”

“Do you think it’s time we spilled the beans?” Tom asks, calming down from his wedding excitement, “Marinette's always known she was adopted but…”

“Not that I’m her mother? Yeah,” Silence hangs in the air for a while, the screen being the only source of light in her dark safe house, “You know I can try and work through this, no one has to know,”

“Hm…. if you think it’s best,” Sabine nods, before looking to her husband, “But if you want or need to tell people this would be the time,”

“Is… is that alright with you?”

“We love Marinette, and we know she’ll still love us no matter what, if our little family wants to grow then we should let it!” Tom exclaims, she should have known they would be fine with it, always so accepting that's one of the reasons she chose them to take care of her daughter.

“I’ll think about it,” She promises, cutting off the call to be alone with her thoughts.

Apparently her biggest hurdle was actually plucking up the courage to tell everyone. She thought she should at least tell Marinette, but lo and behold here they were in the Wayne manor waiting to hold a meeting about how to handle the rumor and Marinette is still in the dark. Well, she has no other choice but to commit now, try and get Marinette through her trip and out of the city without anyone being the wiser. Hell, she had kept the world's greatest detective from knowing for all these years surely this would be no more trouble.

Despite that, she ran into a little bitty problem while Bruce was explaining to Marinette how to handle the press; her conscience. It had been this annoying thing that started growing more and more as she spent time around Bruce. And now that they were engaged it decided to be a royal pain in her neck trying to convince her to be honest and tell the truth, how was that going to help with their marriage!

Surely this would be the worst possible place to admit it. Not only was Marinette and Bruce here, but the entire damn Batfamily to boot, sans Jason. If she were to tell now there would no doubt be bloodshed. No, the best way, if she was going to tell them, would be later in private, she could get Bruce to drive them back to the hotel and take a detour along the way, then she could tell them and bam! They would both know and her conscience would leave her alone, that was certainly the best plan of action-

And then Marinette smiled at him and Bruce smiled back, she didn’t even know what was said but goddammit-

“Marinette's our daughter!”

Everything in the room stops. Even those happy to mill about their conversation on the other size pause, a glass drops, she doesn't even wait for it to shatter before continuing. Floodgates are open now, no going back.

“Seventeen years ago, took her to Paris, pretended to be her Aunt, let Tom and Sabine raise her!” She stood up, bolting from the room, not stopping until she was far from Wayne manor.

Yep, I think I handled that well.

They all stood frozen, staring at the door Aunt, no Selina, her Mother had just run out. Everything was silent, for about two seconds before incomprehensible screeching. Or at least that's what it sounded like to her as everyone started shouting over each other.

“Did you know!?”

“No! How would I know?!”

“How could you not know! Everyone else did!”

“You didn’t!”

“That's because he said it wasn't true!”

“How the fuck-”

“Bruce why ,”

“By god how reckless can you be!?”

“This is… wow,”

Marinette didn’t stick around to hear the rest, slipping out the door Selina had disappeared through, like mother like daughter she guessed. Speaking of, she needed to call her Maman and Papa first, had the known all along? She was meant to just be an average girl… who’s a superhero… and vigilante…. And famous fashion designer…. And guardian- ok maybe she hadn't done a great job at the whole ‘ordinary girl’ thing, be she had liked to think she was normal at least once in her life… apparently not.

“Marinette sweetie!” Her Papa’s voice boomed over the call, “How are you?”

“Aunt Selina- not- how- I-”

“Oh, she told you?” Her Maman spoke more quietly than her Papa, calm voice calming her down.

“Me, and everyone else,” Marinette sat down at the steps to Wayne Manor, looking out at the front gardens without really seeing anything.

“Yes we thought she might, are you ok sweetie?”

“I’m shocked,”

“Yes well knowing her she didn’t handle it too well,” Papa spoke knowingly.

“She bolted now I’m stuck at Wayne Manor,” Marinette supplies, not that she really had a better place to be.

“Yes, that's like her,” She can hear her Maman laugh a little, “How are you feeling?”

“A little confused,” A lot confused.

“When she was pregnant with you she came to us, she and Bruce apparently didn’t have a very stable relationship back then and didn’t think either of them could take care of you,” Maman explains, “So she came to us, asking for just to raise you, she wasn't going to be a part of your life but I think she loved you more than expected because she kept coming back and eventually became your Auntie Selina,”

“Thats… wow,”

“Need some time?”

“Yeah,”

“Take all the time you need,” Papa encouraged, “We’re always here for you, and we love you,”

“I love you too,” Marinette smiles, letting the call drop staring off into nothingness.

The Kwamis came out of hiding to cuddle close but left her to her thoughts which Marinette appreciated. They sat in silence for a long time, Marinette worked out that she didn’t mind so much. Sure it was a shock, but it didn’t change how much she loved her parents, and it meant her family had just gotten a little bigger, or a lot bigger as Bruce had introduced her to a lot of people. The only thing left to worry about was the others, they didn’t seem very happy at the news.

Before Marinette can let the dread of that fester too long the front door opens, catching her attention as Bruce steps through. He seemed tired, and was that bruise a punch mark!?- no nevermind she wasn't going to ask. He comes to sit down next to her, neither talking for a while as they both stare out at the garden.

“... So Selina left?” He asks eventually.

“Yep, and I don’t think she’s coming back any time soon,”

“Of course not,” She shakes his head, a little amused, “Did she tell you?”

“No, but my parents knew- wait I didn’t mean!-”

“It’s fine,” He assures, settling her panic, “I just found out, I can hardly be considered a parent,”

“Guess not… What about the others?”

“Oh they’re a little shocked,” Bruce puts it lightly, his bruise being a dead give away, “I think they expected me to adopt you long before suspecting we were already related,”

“Just how many siblings do I have,” Marinette half mutters to herself, “wait- are they my siblings?”

“Depends who you ask, Dick? Yes, I think he already left to find decorations for your room,”

“I have a room?”

“If Dick has anything to say about it, also I suspect Alfred already set you up one, although I couldn't tell you when,”

“Of course he did,” That man seemed to know more than all of them combined, “So does that mean I can stay over some time?”

“Certainly, although I might suggest waiting a day or two,” He looks back at the mansion, light-catching his bruise.

“I might give it three, just to be sure,” She smiles, still wondering what happened there.

They start talking, catching up on each other's lives. Marinette skirts around anything that doesn't pertain to her identity as Marinette, Ladybug, MDC, Starling the whole gang. They are only interrupted by Marinette's phone buzzing, she picks it up, Adrien was the one to call but both Chloe and Kagami are there with him.

“Marinette,” Adrien says urgently, “Remember Cuppy?”

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Taglist (sorry put the taglist for another fic before fixed it now)

@smolplantmum @flufflepuffle296 @dawnwave16  @caffeinetheory   @g-arya   @Maribat-2k20   @ladybug-182    @Actual-disaster-human    @fusser90   @messrs-weasley   @soap-lady  @paintedhope7   @zeneralla    @mochegato     @random-nerd-3 @clumsy-owl-4178  @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen   @too0bsessedformyowngood @certifiedbidisaster  @Purplegeekypanda @awkward0ghostfan @theymakeupfairies @tikki-marinette @insane-fangirl-of-everything @elmokingkong @inarachi02 @slytherinhquinn @moongoddesskiana @dast218 @buginetye @redscarlet95 @biodad-bruce-month @hansa-12 @waiting247 @toodaloo-kangaroo @how-to-fuction-properly @trippingovermyfeet @greekmythgal @whatthefox22 @the-alice-of-hearts @bigpicklebananatree @indecisive-mess-named-me @nalu-ismyjam @deepestobservationwombat @salamonka

[heizours]

hello howl! so uh,, im lowkey shy to say this as i reblog that one work of yours— and honestly, you may or may not find out who am i at the end of this ask :')

idk why im shy all of the sudden,, maybe bcs it's so not me to express my genuine feelings and if you were to openly see who i am (bcs of my username), i'll be shyly panicking idk why im sorry 😭 so im gonna let out everything that i've got in my heart here— psst, it's 3:30am here rn and i've got school at 7:20am but lets not mind that shall we

so like, that work of yours, i dont exactly remember its title but its context is s/o asking them for a hug and ended up crying in their embrace. yeah that one. i extremely love it— and is attached to it. idk why either, it's just lovely and perfect. whenever i feel like wanting comfort, from a certain character actually, i'll reread that one specific work. believe me when i say i've read it for so many times. it does comfort me, it did bring out tears too– like, i got so immersed everytime, it's easy to self indulge myself in your writings and those characters giving comfort feels so real. just then i realise that, i should be thanking you really <3

you are the one who wrote it, who actually, unconsciously comforting me. so thank you really, thank you so much howl! millions and millions of thanks. when that 'time' hits, i'll search for your username then went to your masterlist and find it. as im reading it, i'll cry. after that im fine. see, it's the magic of your comfort :D i do love all of your works, but that one has a special place in my heart (pls this is so weird for me to say but its the truth JSKNSKANW bye)

so yeahh :] thats it i guess?? this is my first time interacting with you so i hope i didn't weirded you out. im awfully sorry if i did without realising it. and i honesty dont know which one should i give so i'll just give all. thank you once again, im very much appreciating your existence. have a nice day, howl!

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anon, you really don't know what impact you just did to me. truthfully, i don't consider myself as a good writer when it comes to comfort fics or in any general aspect but hearing from someone like you that i unconsciously helped you when that 'time' hits you again, makes my heart genuinely swell

it makes me happy to know that i was able to comfort and encourage a person like you through my writing—and please do believe me when i said that your ask had wholeheartedly and unintenionally gave me more motivation to continue writing and to give love and comfort to the people who could only find it in the internet

at first, i actually didn't expect that my writing could be the source of someone's crying shoulder but you had proved me wrong with that opinion, you made me realize that even in the smallest things i could be able to help people even if it could be done as the bare minimum, and i'm happy that i was able to help you even though were nothing more than strangers

believe it or not, your last sentence hits too close to home, maybe it just feels weird (in a good way) for someone to tell me that they appreciate my existence— or maybe because those were the words that i've been yearning for all this time, but never had the chance to be aware about it. knowing that someone like you out there appreciates my existence, gives me the temporary peace that i'm looking for and i would like to thank you for that <33

it's a great pleasure to interact with you!! please do not think that i will be weirded out by this kind of ask, as this type of interactions never fails to make me smile. in the future, i hope i can continue to give you the comfort that you need, and know that you're not enduring it alone if that 'time' comes back again 💗

[words-for-holland]

Your Shoulder to Cry On

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N has been feeling down all day and Tom wants her to know that he’ll always be here for her.

Maybe it was just one of those Mondays, but today just seemed like the worst ones Y/N has ever experienced. Truthfully she didnt know how it happened. She was having a great morning, waking up in Tom’s arms, giving him his daily dose of kisses before he left to film, and actually getting her work done with time to spare.

But there was definitely a change in the wind that day and it all started with a...

Ding

With all the free time Y/N had she couldnt help but check her phone, guessing it was either Tom or her parents checking up on her, or maybe her hometown friends who are updating her on what’s going on with their new found adult life.

It was her friends all right...but the conversation was far from friendly. Arguments ensued from her three friends coming after each others neck and of course pulling..no...dragging Y/N unwilling into it. While she said no words, as she tried to find the best way to relieve the tension it was too late. Her good day had become the shittiest day of the week...and its only just begun.

Now abandoning her work, Y/N waits for her boyfriend to come home as she mindlessly scrolls through Instagram, only to see a notification pop up on her phone. Assuming it was another nasty text from her friends, she was much surprised to be welcomed a picture of her and Tom on her feed with a caption saying...

“Cant wait to see my girl after work. It’s been a long day 😫.”

If anything made Y/N smile at all today it was Tom. In some weird way its like he knew how she felt without even telling or seeing him. He was her rock after all and if there was anyone she could count on to make her smile in the least it was Tom. Just on cue, he called her right after.

“Hello darling.” He greets sleepily.

“Hey babe.” Y/N responded quietly.

“Are you okay?”

“Hmm. Oh..yeah just fine.” She lies, hoping not to worry him too much.

“Darling, I can tell you’re not. You dont sound like yourself. Ill be home soon okay? Tell me all about it?”

Y/N nodded as she whispered, “Yeah.”

“Okay..I love you so much. Ill be home soon.”

“I love you too.” She croaks.

Just like that Tom was home in record time, but not without capturing a few things to cheer his girl up. He welcomed her with freshly baked cookies from her favorite cookie shop, and nothing was better than food from her favorite Italian spot. Tom placed the food on the counter as he searched for his girl.

“Love, Im home.” He called out. “Are you okay, darling?”

Y/N popped in the hallway as she ran straight into his arms, not saying a word but holding onto him as if she would lose him.

“Hey..hey. Whats wrong?” He asked in his soothing voice.

“Lots of drama.” She mumbled. “I love you but you didnt have to go through buying all this. I could have cooked for us.”

Tom pulled away from her, giving the look confusion and disapproval. “Cooked for us while you’re clearly upset? Thats absolute bullocks. We’re gonna eat all this food because we can and then youre gonna vent everything out and then.. Im gonna hold you in my arms and coax you to sleep so you can relax and have a shoulder to cry on.”

Y/N smiled at the gesture already wraaping her arms around him, shedding a slight tear at how he would always be here for her. “I love you so much Tom.”

“I do too. Now tell me what’s wrong, darling.”

So Y/N did tell him everything from what happened with her friends and how the unecessary pile of work came up on her, and all the insecurities that have just risen out throughout the whole day. She was on his lap as they cuddled into the sofa. Showing her phone, he reads the last remaining texts from the conversation.

“I’m unfollowing y’all on everything and i am not answering another text just thought i would throw how crazy that is, out there. So at this point i’m done. forget it y’all can chill i’m out:) ”

“Wow.” He said, taking a moment to process what happened. “She really meant it, didnt she?”

Y/N nodded as she put her phone away. “Yeah and now Im just in the middle because I dont know what to do or who to support. Our whole friendship is breaking apart and I just dont want to lose any of them.” She cries silently, occaionally bring up the sleeves of Tom’s hoodie to wipe her nose and eyes.

“Hey, look its not your fault you were just trying to help. I know you guys have been friends for so long and Im sure that this is just a small bump and all four of you will get together and this will all be put past behind you.” Tom encourages as he tucks a small piece of her hair behind her ear, leans in for a comforting kiss on her forehead. “Darling, I know how much you wanted to fix things between your friends but it’s not your fault. This isnt yours to fix you just need to give it some time yeah? Even if your friends dont stick around thats on them, but just know I will always be here for you. Ill be your shoulder to cry on, and I sure as hell wont leave or unfollow you.” He chuckles at the situation, wiping away her tear stained cheeks.

“Haha how funny.” She sniffles and smiles at Tom’s corny attempt to make a joke of the situation like he always does.

“See theres that smile, Ive been waiting all day to see. I just can’t get enough of it.” Tom compliments. “That smile should stay there for good. Fuck anyone or anything that tries to take it away for you.”

“Thank you Tommy.” Y/N says sweetly, leaning in and pressing her lips against Tom’s.

Tom smiles back into the kiss gently cradling the back of her head. “Anytime darling. Now let’s see if there are other ways to make you feel better.” He winked as he carried her up to their room.

[relaxxattack]

ayo! (wait this might be a bit of a jumpscare dishdks i apologize) i’m op of That Post and was wondering what your opinions were on the whole woobification thing? /gen

because it’s a Tiny Bit widespread within the dream apologists to sort of,, overdramatize stuff like l’manberg hurting him. like they’re not a 100% wrong but if you look at it subjectively you can see some sort of bias going into that sort of thing that makes the character’s mistreatment a bit more blatant and intentional which,, it really wasn’t? and there wasn’t That Much of it either. especially on twitter (tumblr is much better about it) people just jump to conclusions it seems and yeah. since you brought it up i was wondering if you wanted to write a bit about it from your perspective!

we’re kinda from different corners of the fandom but i still notice that once you are too attached to a character you start taking certain evidence and giving it more weight than it actually has. there’s a blurry line between “taking away a character’s humanity” and woobification and it’s extremely difficult to find a balance when said character shows pretty much nothing of his emotional life (e. g. putting up the intimidating villain act in front of only c!tommy, pretty much everything he does making rational sense with no emotional subtext) and a lot of the fandom instantly jumps to one side or the other while it’s like.

we don’t know by far enough to say “he’s traumatized” or “he isn’t traumatized” or “he was villainized and it hurt him” or “l’manberg didn’t affect him at all”

as a very analytical person people constantly jumping to conclusions grinds my gears, but that’s about it for my own view of the situation - sorry for the rambling.

in general i agree with you that both dehumanization and woobification is Bad and i really hope getting Actual Context sorts this out (e. g. him saying he was betrayed by his friends doesn’t mean it wasn’t partially his fault or that they were allowed to leave him, but it also shows that he did care about that happening. mentioning the cat doesn’t mean anything about what happened to c!tommy but it also shows that he did care about what happened to it. it’s just always interesting to get more information about the way he feels because he usually does a very good job at hiding it.) because man.

it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, especially if you also are attached to the character and are expected to automatically agree with everything the people on “your side” say. it just ends up with everyone being mad and the character being mischaracterised overall.

oh wow hello! i didnt expect the op of the post to find me you’re right lol

and yes i agree! you seem to have a lot of very good thoughts tbh.

and by woobification, i mean exactly what you’ve already pointed out— the people who will say l’manberg purposely villainized dream, the people who will say wilbur faked his mental illness to manipulate dream, the people who are pretty much always talking about how badly dream was treated by people who were acting only fairly for themselves, usually.

for example people who act like dream was a perfect peacemaker before tommy showed up, or that tommy started most conflict. these are just actual lies that are told by c!dream himself to justify his abuse of tommy, and people fall for them incredibly easily because not a lot of people watched early dsmp and know that truthfully it was chaotic even then, and that dream was chaotic too. not to mention wilbur soot tried very hard to secede peacefully with l’manberg and dream jumped directly into war with no warning. and then people say he was forced into their war when, no, he started it.

theres also people who will say like, dream and sapnap for example are such good friends. i’m sure they cared for each other, but dream on multiple occasions has done horrible things to sapnap with no regard for his feelings (like leading fundy to sapnaps pets during the petwar, leading tommy to sapnaps pets during the other petwar and encouraging him to kill them, handing mars over to tommy to use as leverage against sapnap, etc). george he’s been less awful too but he certainly spoke over him and ignored his feelings enough that george felt hurt. he had places in his hall of attachments for beckerson and mars. george and sapnap were right to walk away from being treated like that.

there’s also what you just said here — “dream puts on a villain persona for tommy”— but honestly he acts like that around quite a few people (example: eret) and it’s usually when he’s revealing crucial info, which leads me and many others to believe that ‘persona’ is actually a more truthful version of him.

there’s the fact that he really isn’t safe for people to be around (or at least he wasn't before the prison) because he was planning to come up with ways to control every single person by stealing and threatening their attachments (some of which were not items but were living animals, or a real breathing person).

and then people will say dream was doing exile to enforce rules, or to keep the peace— when it’s very clear in canon it was a deliberate plan to get tommy on his own and into the prison. (from the way he was framing tommy for multiple crimes, and having sam set up the prison, and kidnapping tommy instead of correctly exiling him, all at the same time).

not even going into how he wants to kill and revive people for fun or make tommy immortal.

it’s just— ignoring all these actual facts and saying “oh he misses his friends, let’s get him some friends now” reminds me of like. when people would put flower crowns on pictures of serial killers. and then, there’s hardly anyone on the server who wasn’t subject to dream’s plans, so there’s absolutely no one i would be okay with him interacting with.

just remembered about the torture thing, and wow i still hate it so much. it’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy twisted into a way to get a manipulative villain sympathy, and it’s just gross to me on every account. i do think dream is traumatized-- just not by l’manberg, which was a conflict he started on his own terms. i would think l’manberg did affect him, because he was scared of losing control.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again— my ideal ending for dream would be for him to be sent far away from dsmp to an island full of therapy animals and super strong therapists who have never met him before. and for him to get a shit ton of therapy until he becomes a halfway normal person. and then eventually he could get integrated into society again; but a different one with new people. (although maybe dteam + bbh + puffy can visit him, they might still like him.)

none of the people on the server (who have all been affected by dream) should be burdened with befriending him or rehabilitating him— look how that turned out with sam! sam had a personal grudge towards dream and it ended with the poor dude being tortured every day; and sam himself falling into corruption and literally cutting off his boyfriends arm. like we can all see thats fucking awful right?

no one who was affected by dream should have to deal with him ever again. and contrary to popular belief, that includes a LOT more people then just tommy. dream isn’t just tommy’s antagonist, hes almost everybody’s.

the only person on the server who might also be able to stand to help dream is techno, and that’s from sheer lack of ability to give a shit. but techno is probably THE furthest thing from a good therapist there is lol, and dream needs better then that.

this kind of just ended up being a rant about my thoughts on c!dream, so im so sorry op. especially since it was probably negative for you. i hope you’re doing very well.

i guess in the end it’s true what you said— people will highlight or ignore things based on what characters they like, and it’s especially easy to do in this fandom, where half the content doesn’t even get watched and then we become a big echo chamber of half-truths.

considering dream has hurt so many of the characters i care about, i almost can’t understand how he could be someone’s favorite or comfort character— but he is nonetheless, and it would be unfair of me to be rude about that.

essentially it just bothers me to see someone who was a perpetrator of accurately portrayed abuse and manipulation (using both those words in their actual definitions, not just as random buzzwords lol) being given the flower crown edit effect. especially since he’s hurt the characters i care about a lot.

ANYWAY all of that being said (this got LONG im so sorry op) i am so so excited to get dream’s pov, because although i disagree with his actions strongly i actually find dream’s character very interesting and cool, and watching his POV is going to insanely fun. i cannot wait to see what theories get confirmed or denied

ALSO incase it wasn’t clear this is all /nm at you! you seem lovely and smart, and neither of us can help what characters we get attached to :]

[thequeenb]

Who Knew A Car Accident Would Bring Us Closer?

I know that i disappeared but guess who is back😏

My routine is very simple. I get up early, i take a shower, i brush my teeth, i put on a glamorous outfit and i drive in the heart of the city to buy a ridiculously overpriced coffee.

Today i was in a good mood. The gala was near and things with Zoey seems to get better. What always ruin it is Poppy and her attitude whenever she sees me. I roll my eyes turning the radio on and oh my god this my song!

I sing along as my body moves to the rhythm, i am a good driver dont get me wrong but when my favourite song plays i can be clumsy. Driving in the city is an annoying habit i had to get used to. When i was driving back in Farmsville things were less complicated and ugh don't get me started with the bad driving skills some people have

I am near the parking lot of the University when my favourite part comes up and i close my eyes for a brief second to feel the music as i sing along the last verse. But then the music stops, and when i open my eyes i see another car coming with full speed towards me. My instincts kick in as i try to avoid it but soon all i can feel is glass spraying around.

I don't dare to open my eyes as i am shocked and overwhelmed. I try to move but the airbag is suffocating me. Think Bea, think. My free arm tried to reach out for my phone as i hear voices around my car. If only i was more focused on the road, damnit!

My anxiety takes over as i try to breathe and only then a man is on the side of my door screaming

"Hey! Are you okay in there? The paramedics are on their way, please hold on"

His voice fades away and my stomach turns. I didn't even notice the pool of blood around my chest, what the fuck is happening. Zoey, i need to call Zoey right now, but before i try to find my phone a familiar sweet voice calls out to me

"Bea are you okay? Please respond to me" despite the current situation i have a faint smile, how adorable she is worried about me.

"Zoey.." thats all i manage to say in hope she heard me

Everything feels heavier as minutes pass by and all i can feel is the blood running down my body. Its a weird sensation really, but i wish none of you ever get to see what it feels like. Everything is sticky and wet but all i can do is try to keep my eyes open.

I wonder who had the audacity to hit my car but then i feel guilty remembering that i am the one to blame mostly. Soon enough i can hear sirens and i am finally relieved.

After several tries the paramedics got me out of the car and the bright light of the sun is blinding. I know i shouldn't complain but what if this is my last moment? Ugh i am sure Poppy is laughing right now with her friends, i can even imagine the conversation

"Did you hear what happened to Hughes? That silly farm girl got into a car accident"

Ugh what am i even thinking. I feel a soft material underneath me and i hardly get a glance around me. I can see Professor Kingsley looking at me with her worrying eyes, then there is Zoey next to me fighting with a woman to let her come with me in the ambulance and is that? No my mind is playing tricks i lost a lot of blood. But no its really her. I see Poppy approaching the man that probably hit my car and she is yelling? Very funny brain, don't mess with me right now. She is happy not sad i am sure

Before i can think more the doors of the ambulance closed but i feel a warmth in my hand

"I am here Bea, please hold on" Of course its Zoey and she is holding my hand tight, i cant imagine how scared she is but i am glad she is here with me. I feel so tired i need to rest my eyes, no no! I have seen to many movies about people dying this way i need to stay awake.

I can feel my heart beat in every sore part of my body, the blood is now dry and uncomfortable, my breath is getting slower and slower. The bright lights above me are painful and the voices around me start to fade. Don't tell me this is the end. I didn't win the crown yet to rub it in Poppy's face, i didn't see her shock after i am pronounced the Queen of Belvoire but wait. Why the hell am i thinking of her that much?

My eyes cant stay open anymore despite my numerous tries, i can hear Zoey encouraging me with the nurses but i give up into my desire to rest. I squeeze her hand one last time before i pass out.

____

How many of you watch Grey's anatomy? Don't lie i am sure some of you have, especially with Sandra Oh that good looking woman god, but thats not the point, don't lie to me. Well despite your answers this is what it feels like. I can hear the machines around me as well as my heart beating steadily

How did things get this sad so fast? It was supposed to be a normal day for me but i guess i had to ruin it. I wonder who's here with me and oh my god i am about to have a heart attack. Next to me is standing who? No guess..i will give you a hint, blonde hair..rich girl..who am i kidding, its the one and only Poppy Min-Sinclair

I blink a couple of times and she notices. Don't tell me she was here the whole time, maybe she came to make fun of me, is Veronica here? Does she film my failure? Oh. We are alone great.

"You are awake" she says as she is slowly approaching

Its hard to speak but i try to do some effort "I guess you are disappointed" i say smiling but she doesn't, she actually looks concerned

"I knew you were bad at almost everything but being a bad driver is so embarrassing Hughes" she roll her eyes, sitting in a chair next to my bed

Oh hell no who says that? Is that what comforting means to her?

"If you are here to make fun of me do me a favour and close the door behind when you leave" i don't look at her, instead i turn around, i am to tired for this conversation

"I was the one who saw the accident" she says and to my surprise she sits up to study me closer

"When i saw your cheap- ah..when i saw your car i was the one who called the paramedics you know"

I turn around to look at her and i can see her eyes sparkling under the bright lights "I mean i didn't have a choice right? I could not help at all but.."

My eyes start to tear up, every word feel more genuine than the other but why? Aren't we enemies? Doesn't she hate me? My thoughts are flooded with painful memories, how embarrassed she made me feel and then it clicks

"But you like me" i say almost breathless. She is shocked and that's how i know i am right, this can't be happening.

I didn't realize that i was crying until Poppy laid her head over my chest carefully. I can hear her sobs, everything that she had been feeling all day come out now and all i can do is cry with her, holding her tight.

"I can't believe i almost lost you" she says as her tears take over again

"Shhh, i am here..i promise" its all i can say. Today was definitely a weird day but in the end it brought us together

After we both calm down she doesn't move, instead i stoke her hair even though i feel weak and i can feel her smiling "the man that hit you is getting sued"

A low laugh escape my lips as she stands up gazing at me "but if you tell anyone about this you will be next" but its her teasing because her eyes say otherwise

I want to thank her, i want to forgive her for all the bullshit she put me through but words aren't enough to describe how i feel. Instead i yank her by her shirt and i kiss her softly. I can feel her body relax against mine but she is careful not to hurt me. I can feel her calm down as she takes a deep breath.

Pulling back she has this grin, its my favourite "Well, your kissing skills aren't as bad as your driving ones"

We both laugh as she takes a sit next to me, we are both talking about various topics and the more we discuss the more we realize we have a lot of things in common. Poppy and i are alike, but unlike her i show my good, kind side. I am greatful she is here because now i know who she truly is.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr

[imaginewarehouse]

Yandere!Marcus White x Reader || Drabble

Plot: I’ve been watching Gotham, so, some delicious villainous yandere stuff for fun. 

Warnings: Abduction, toxic/abusive relationship, basic yandere character (He’s kinda chill though, so it isn't really mega level dark? I guess?) 

🔆  🔆  🔆

The bag is ripped off my head, along with a few strands of my hair, and I gulp down my first non-canvasy breathes in hours, looking around the room I’m in. As soon as I recognise the childish basketball themed bed sheets that I’m plopped onto and the blue walls that could only belong to a man-child that hasn't left his mother since the womb though, a deep, annoyed groan escapes my throat and my head falls back against the wall I’m leaning on. The frustration of another failed escape attempt honestly killing me. “Fuckkkkk. Marcus!” 

Why did I even look around? As if the surroundings after being kidnapped would be any different. It never is. Its always this stupid room. God, I hate it. 

“Hold on a moment- finishing this game.” He unsurprisingly responds, from the floor at the foot of the bed where a TV is set up on the floor- not at all fazed at the fact that his abduction victim is awake. 

I wriggle my wrists, trying to free them from the tent rope tying them together. “Whatever. Just hurry up and untie me. I’m getting rope burn.” 

“Mmm,” Marcus makes an unsure sound back, and I can imagine his face right now even though I cant see it, all twisted up at the nose and the mouth. A harbinger of dread, honestly. My heart feels like it plummets in my chest, right down to my feet. Don’t tell me- “Yeahh, I don’t think so. Not this time, babe. One too many escapes. I told you, you try to leave me one more time and you’ll lose Mr Nice Guy.” He makes a clicking sound with his tongue, as I screw my own face up in confusion. ‘Mr Nice Guy’, did he just say? Oh, please- “Well. You lost him.” 

That... doesn't sound good. I mean, no part of this situation with him is good, but this definitely feels like a tipping point. I feel nauseous suddenly. “What do you mean?” 

“Oh!” Suddenly the TV makes an especially loud noise and the sound of the controller clicking gets more vigorous, as apparently Marcus gets to a particularly difficult part of the game- then celebratory music plays and Marcus gets up, and flops on the bed next to you. “Whoo! I won. Beat the game.” He beams at me, like I actually give a flying fuck that he came first in Mario cart at 100cc, like the loser that he is, and I just look back totally deadpanned. 

I blink, trying to totally show him with my expression and my tone how little this matters right now. Or ever. “Like I care?” 

“Don’t be a bitch.” It should say something about me, and about him, that I used to flinch every time this boy called me that, but now I don't even blink. We’ve been doing this thing for over a decade, since high school when Marcus wasn't a total psycho, so nothing about him surprises me much anymore. 

Not that he isn't, unfortunately, full of surprises even so. 

“Don’t be a psycho kidnapper.” I beam back patronisingly. 

“Ahh, stalemate.” He grins, dropping his hand on my thigh... which... twistedly... still has an effect on me. Not that I ever let him know that, but, it definitely does. Sometimes I wonder, honestly, if that’s why I never successfully escape. Not because he or his butt ugly prison friends are master criminals or anything, but because I’m still holding on to an insane secret hope that somewhere in Marcus is the boy who took me to prom and spiked the punch, and turned up to drive me 3 hours home - to this bedroom, actually, - from a disastrous family holiday that made me cry to him for 2 more hours on the phone, and was happy to do so. Because sometimes he still is that guy.

... Because on a subconscious level I let him find me and drag me back here... even though consciously, I know this is 

-wrong. 

   And abusive... 

                and toxic. 

But on the other hand maybe not. Whatever. Moving on. Taking a deep breath to regather myself and glance up at him, eyes flashing angrily. Through my teeth, I hiss. “Let go.” 

Deeply, entirely hard-done-by, Marcus sighs and rolls his eyes, removing his hand. “Whatever.” I sigh, and lean my head back on the wall- tired. Tired of him, tired of this whole awful game. 

But we go on. We live on; We keep playing. Everyone does. That’s life. 

What else can you do? 

Finally, a couple of minutes later, I turn my head to look at him again and wait for him to catch my gaze and turn his own head to face me back. I talk quietly, calmly, tiredly. “... what did you mean by no more Mr Nice Guy?” 

“Just that.” He exclaims and shrugs, like it explains everything. Which it absolutely does not, but instead of snapping at him I just raise my eyebrows and wait for more of an explanation. “That... you’ll stay tied up. Most of the time, anyway. I mean, you can take showers and stuff without the rope, and on your birthday.” 

“Oh, well aren't you just a regular Prince Charming.” I sigh, rolling my eyes and gazing up at the ceiling now. Great. 

He either didn’t get a feel for the sarcasm or doesn't care. “Well I think so! So does mom.” 

“Oh god.” I groan, squeezing my eyes shut. He’s such a loser. “Norman Bates, much?” 

At the reference that he definitely gets, because we binged the first season of Bates Motel together, like nearly everything else that we do apart from my escaping hobby, Marcus shifts closer to me and bangs the back of his head on the wall. “Oh, Y/N, that’s gross.” Oh so he claims, I think sarcastically, rolling my eyes yet again. Whatever. “I love you.” 

“Yeah, right.” I respond, dully, not even looking at him. At my obvious doubt, he begins to laugh. First chuckles, then full out, raucous laughter. Like its the most hilarious thing that he might not be in love with me. Like- why would he do all this to me? Kidnap me, keep me prisoner, force me to stay with him, tie me up- If he didn’t fucking love me?

I mean I have some ideas, but lets go with his story.

“I do!” He shakes his head, eyebrows knit together in confusion and hurt at my ridiculous accusation that he doesn't love me. “I do, baby.” He shifts so he can look me in the eyes and force a serious look... a goofy grin still stuck on his face that is not encouraging or confidence building at all. “I do. I fucking love you!” 

When he gets like this, its best to pretend like I believe him. Take a deep breath, adjust my thoughts - like you’re going to school and you have to remember that the place is educating you, and that’s good... not thats it's a torture institution for youth. For example, Marcus isn't a psychopathic dick-face. He’s... sometimes, sweet,- , and force a gentle smile. Hold my breath and cup his face the best I can with my wrists tied up, with one hand and lace my fingers through his hair with the other- and try not to like it so much. 

Or like it on a purely physical level and try to ignore the way, deep down, I love him. 

“... You’re right. Sorry. I know you do, baby, thank you. I... I love you too.” 

Easily his expression and his body relax, and he grins that goofy grin again that unfortunately still releases the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. “I know. Sorry, I freak out a little when you say stuff like that.” Oh, I know. “I just wouldn't want you to think that I do anything to hurt you. I just want you close.” 

“I know.” 

He smiles brighter, happy for the positive appraisal and apparent trust from me- especially in the particularly sensitive mood he’s in with me touching him. 

Then he leans across the way and kisses me. 

[mbti-notes]

Im ISTP dude and I like this INFJ girl. Shes my friend but I like her more than that. I told her already and asked her out. She didn't reject me but thing is her answer is vague as hell. First she asked why I like her and I told her honestly that shes pretty and smart but she didnt react more than a nod. Then when I ask if she wanna be my girlfriend she said 'okay but can it be a trial period first'. I assumed its a yes so we started going out but its very weird. (1)

[con’t: It gets even more difficult to understand her and shes start asking me questions about my perspective on love and start warning me about her loving differently than other people and I might not like it and stuff like that. She also seems to be assessing me somehow? I dont know. Like shes trying to judge something about me. I dont think shes playing me or anything cause we always do things fair. She insists we split the bills on everything when we go out and she never demand anything so thats cool. We also spend time together like before. Its just very weird cause she seems more guarded around me and more jumpy and colder than usual even though shes still nice to me and all. Is this normal for INFJs? Maybe she doesnt actually like me? But then why did she agree? I mean we have same interests and we seem to have fun together so I dont understand whats wrong. Should I continue this or just go back to being friends? I like her a lot but I dont wanna waste time on relationship that goes nowhere.]

Note that you can’t improve the quality of a relationship until both people are equally committed to the task. Relationships flourish through skillful communication:

1) Self-Awareness: Be fully aware of your needs, wants, and criteria for relationships. Take full responsibility for your end, so that you do everything in your power to promote relationship success, and then the rest is up to her. It’s important that you are able to communicate clearly and honestly about what’s happening with you, including what you think is going wrong for you and why. If you can’t even make your needs and problems known to your partner, then you’ll never really know each other well enough to get any needs met.

You have not succeeded in this step because you’re putting the whole situation onto her shoulders, as though you have no say in the matter. Whether you stay or leave is your decision to make, based on your evaluation of the relationship and whether it’s what you really want. If a relationship makes you unhappy/dissatisfied, why stay? You’re the one feeling the problem, which means that it’s up to you to instigate a process of resolution. 

People usually stick it out through the down times in a relationship because they have a hopeful vision of what the relationship could become. You have a hopeful vision because you’re talking about how the current situation isn’t meeting your expectations. But what are your expectations? You say that you have fun together, why isn’t that enough? What’s missing for you exactly? Without enough awareness of yourself and being able to verbalize the problem that you’re experiencing, it’s hard to find a solution.

2) Intimacy: A relationship grows deeper over time through honest, attentive, and respectful communication. Talk about what you like, dislike, desire, hope for, etc, with each other, often. Gradually, you both become a better partner as you learn how to adjust your behavior to better suit the other’s needs. The process of becoming more intimately acquainted requires time and energy to learn new things and apply the ideas successfully. You have to be patient and put in the effort to have difficult conversations whenever necessary to grow your knowledge and understanding of each other.

You have not succeeded in this step because you’re making assumptions rather than communicating. You’re merely guessing that she’s trying to do this or that, and you end up whipping yourself into paranoia. “Assuming”, aka trying to be a mindreader, is very destructive to relationships because it causes misunderstanding. Relationships require trust, so take people at their word, and when you can’t, talk about why you can’t and solve the problem through communication. Don’t stew in negative feelings and allow them to turn into ugly conspiracy theories.

By saying that she wants a trial period, she’s basically telling you that she’s interested but not ready for a full commitment. If you’re not happy with her position, then you have a choice to make: Either respect that her pace is slower than yours and be patient, or decide that you want something faster/different and leave for greener pastures. She’s already been honest and upfront with you, the ball is now in your court about whether you accept the terms she’s proposed. If you accept, then FULLY accept.

By asking plenty of questions about your perspective, she is making an effort to get to know you better, specifically, to understand why you want to be in the relationship and whether you two are ultimately compatible. You hardly know each other at the start of a relationship, so she is indeed trying to size you up, such that she can make a well-informed decision once the trial period ends. If you don’t like people getting to know you in depth, then you’re never going to get far in any relationship. She obviously is the kind of person that needs to prepare and study situations carefully before diving in. If you don’t like that, then you are free to choose someone who doesn’t require as much preparation and observation time (this is a common J vs P difference).

3) Collaboration: Whenever either party feels unhappy or dissatisfied with something in the relationship, it is their responsibility to bring it up with the partner. When your partner brings a problem to you, it is your responsibility to listen carefully to what it is they need from you. Only then can you resolve problems maturely, together. If it is determined that your partner is capable of better meeting your needs, then make a reasonable request of them to do so. Talk openly about what should be changed in the relationship to make it more fulfilling for both parties, and implement a plan to make those changes. Keep tabs on progress made over time.

You have not succeeded in this step because you’re not being upfront about your negative experience of the relationship and what more you need from it. This means that you’re not giving her the opportunity to collaborate with you. If you don’t talk about how you feel, she’ll never know, and the change that you want won’t happen.

By talking about the way that she “loves differently”, she’s communicating something about her needs and expectations. She’s giving you an opportunity to know her better, such that you can collaborate with her to fulfill her needs. If she’s inexperienced, she may not yet know every little thing that she’s looking for in a relationship. But the most important thing is that she’s trying to communicate about it, which means it’s up to you to listen and respond appropriately. If you have no interest in getting to know her and what kind of partner she’s looking for, then there’s no reciprocity in the relationship. Are you only in it for yourself?

By asking you why you like her, she may be signalling some self-esteem issues (”I don’t know if I can do this”) and/or self-worth issues (”Maybe I don’t deserve this attention/love”). Healthy Fs are sensitive people, which means that they feel things very deeply. The deeper they feel, the more deeply they will be hurt, if things don’t work out. Therefore, it is likely that she is hesitant to dive in because she’s trying to stay in control and protect herself from getting hurt (this is typical of FJs). Forcing someone to leave their comfort zone before they are ready to is a recipe for drama and conflict. The most you can do is encourage her to open up, by providing an emotionally supportive, cooperative, and non-judgmental atmosphere to express how she really feels. Without a positive social atmosphere, FJs won’t open up. She’s moving at a pace that’s comfortable for her, which includes pulling back whenever she feels uncomfortable. Be sure to clarify whether it’s her own issue or whether you’re doing something to make her uncomfortable - don’t just assume. If you don’t like her “guarded” approach, then you are free to choose someone who is more open and carefree (you are navigating a common J vs P difference).

If you like someone a lot, it means that you’re willing to put in effort for them? You have every right to decide how much effort you’re willing to put in. The relationship is still in its early stages and you won’t lose much by ending it now. However, don’t forget that there’s a lot you can do to be better at relationships, mainly by addressing any behavior that hurts rather than helps relationships to progress.

[grahamcarmen]

Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.

i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)

like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s

on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE

its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with  “YEAH THIS IS YOU.”  AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.

and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)

its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better.  it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)

but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)

which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.

with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...

the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”

another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”

from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)

evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”

carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or

VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??

and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like

before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg

and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME

and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)

and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...

TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner

[escapewriter]

part 22 - because of love

LIE AGAIN

pairing : idol!vernon x musician!female reader

word count : 1.3k

warnings : fluff🙂

a/n : i apologize if there are any grammar mistakes. also, im sorry if its bad😞 im not very good writing this way.

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vernon inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm down his beating heart. he knew she was out there, he knew she wasn’t expecting a lot, he knew that she would this he’s crazy for doing this stupid thing, and yet, his racing heart continued to beat into overdrive.

“you ready man?” wonwoo sat beside vernon, dressed and inears all set, “ready as ill ever be.” the two made their way to backstage by the sound equipment where the rest of the boys were. bringing all their hands together, connecting their thumbs, all of their heads turned to seungcheol, expecting a speech of encouragement. “okay, first show of the tour. lets start this off right,” he brought his voice lower so only the huddled group can hear him and not the staff scurrying around them, “wonwoo, vernon, we got your back, no matter what you do, make it up to them,” they looked at each other and smiled, returning their attention back to their leader, nodding their heads. “well then, lets make this memory last a lifetime, lets have each others backs and make carats proud,” seungcheol paused, taking a breathe, “say the name!” “seventeen!” the group unfolded, patting each others backs in hopes of easing the nerves for one another.

“okay! okay! 30 seconds! everyone to your places!”

~

yn and jiyeon sat back in their chair taking a break from all the singing and screaming as a vcr playing on the big screen. yn leaned her head on jiyeon, “they weren’t kidding when they said theyre good,” a laugh erupted from jiyeons chest until it slowly died down. “yn?” her friend hummed, hearing her call her name, “they haven’t been to our side at all, they probably dont know we’re here.” yn lifted her head off her friends shoulder, “oh well, maybe its for the best. the concerts coming close to an end anyway, you wanna leave early so we can avoid traffic? plus im not feeling very well.” jiyeon had a debate in her head and looked at yn, “we can always watch very nice on youtube, lets go.”

~

dino ran down the hallway, speeding towards the dressing room where the rest of his brothers were. he barged in, slouching over with one hand on the doorknob and one on his knee. the boys looked over towards their youngest, worry and confusion written in their eyes. seungcheol walked up to dino and softly gripped his shoulders, pushing him to stand up straight, “what’s wrong?” dino attempted to talk with his heavy breathing, “yn-, jiyeon-, ah, th-they uh, um they, oh my god i cant breathe can i have WATER?”

they brought him to the couch, refreshing him with a bottle of water. after a couple of gulps, he set the water down, “i just saw jiyeon and yn leave their seats.” the boy looked up at his older brothers, mainly in search of the two who wanted them here the most. wonwoo was slouched in the seat, looking down on his lap, vernon was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. seeing the distraught looks on their faces, mingyu immediately went to his phone, texting the two to stay a little longer.

~

“how the hell did they see us leave??” yn laughed a at jiyeon, who was holding her arm, “i guess they knew us so well. maybe we should just wait by the merch area and sit down so we dont have to walk all the way back.” jiyeon nodded her head and they made their way over to a bench and sat down. “how’s your stomach feeling?” yn had her hand over her tummy, softly rubbing it to sooth the pain, “could be better, maybe very nice being played a couple hundred times would make me feel better.”

the crowd began to scream as they heard the booming voice of dk. “MY CARATS, how are you doing tonight so far?” the fans screamed in response as all 13 of the boys smiled out into the crowd. seungcheol then spoke, causing more screams to erupt from the chests of thousands of girls. “well before we hit our final song of the night, theres a special announcement we have to make,” his voice faded as jiyeon and yn were left curious. “jiyeon, lets stand over there so we can try to see what it is.”

the two girls made their way to the curtain where it opens to the big arena. all 13 boys stood in a line while vernon and wonwoo stood in the middle of all of them while their bothers looked at them. the two stepped forward, carats screaming to get their attention. they waved for a bit and finally, vernon spoke, “hi guys, so wonwoo and i have something to confess.” the girls eyes were wide, fear for their soulmates running through their veins, “wonwoo and i found our soulmates. however, in fear of our company forces us apart, we thought we made the right decision by letting them go,” wonwoo stepped closer to vernon, continuing the speech, “obviously, it was a terrible idea because we’re dying inside. we thought it was for the best for us and for them, but nothing can break apart the power of ones soulmate connection.” they took a breath, the rest of their members coming up behind them to support them. vernon brought the mic up to his lips, “theyre here at the concert, or, they were here. she probably didnt know but i saw her, and i really hopes she knows that i saw her, and she looks beautiful,” aww’s broke out in the arena, echoing off the walls, bringing wide smiles onto vernon and wonwoo’s faces, as well as jiyeon’s and yn’s.

wonwoo took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “our company, pledis entertainment is one of the only companies who is against the soulmate system. they threaten their idols who find their soulmate, that if they dont break up with their soulmate, then they get kicked out of the company,” he turned to look at vernon, unable to continue and silently asking the younger to help, “the thought of that kinda scared us, which led us to do some impulsive things, but we’re risking it right now because of love.” “man that was cheesy,” laughter erupted at seungkwan’s comment and vernon rolled his eyes.

“anyway, you all know one of our songs on this album called lie again, right?” jiyeon looked at yn, eyes wide as she started jumping excitedly, “dude thats your song.” right on cue, vernon spoke, “that song, i didnt write it, and woozi didn’t either. its really special to me because my soulmate was the one who wrote it. it’s very beautiful and conveys a feeling in which i have felt the whole time i was away from her, so without any more delays, here’s lie again, dedicated to both,” he turned to wonwoo, “jiyeon,” “and yn.” the boys got into their positions as lie again began to play.

the two girls stood there hugging each other in awe, with love and warmth in their hearts. “you know, the song you wrote was perfect for them.” yn nodded her head at jiyeons comment. “you trust wonwoo?” “you trust vernon?” the two stared each other down and laughed, returning their attention back to the performance. they both had conflicted feelings about what happened, because they didnt want to be the cause of vernon or wonwoo doing something that they regret later. however the thought slipped out of their minds after finally making eye contact with their soulmates.

“damn jiyeon, we really are living the harry styles fan fiction right now.”

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[sleephyuns]

Hey Caz! To get it out of the way, I'm not an emoji anon I just like putting a teddy bear as kind of a nice presence 🧸 it looks cute and huggable! 🥰

I may not know how you feel about yourself but I think you're really cool, your casual posts and writing also helped me a lot already with my own identity and I admire how you present yourself and how unapologetically yourself you are, at least on the outside.

I'm not knocking on your advice, I'm truly grateful for it but I should've expected it was going to be something along those lines.

I guess I'm just avoiding the fact that I'm not gonna be able to figure out myself as long as I let other people's opinions get in the way. Another thing I read not too long ago was "if you were alone on an island, how would you want the flowers to perceive you?" which can be used in a lot of situations but I think it applies to gender too. The quote might find you or someone else well.

I will definitely read Stone Butch Blues, it's time for me to do it. Despite me being on the fence between trans masculinity and being a trans male I find myself often judging people, because sadly sometimes it's easier to do then actually look at the possibility of me being part of that colective too.

It's really confusing and hard to accept that I have to go though it by myself but people like you do help, thank you so much for the advice. ❤️

P.S. I'm sorry this got lengthy, I hope it's not a problem. 🧸 Big hug!

No problem at all I appreciate messages like these. And again thank you. I think being “unapologetically me” is something Im striving for (at least in online spaces since irl is a bigger hurdle I have yet to take hold of) so Im really happy to know I come off that way. I’d say your words are encouraging me just as much.

As for the advice I gave, yeah it can be a hard pill to swallow. Its definitely easier said than done because its natural to wonder what people think of you, and not to be all “we live in a society” but yeah most stuff runs on perception so thats just how it is and its hard to let that go.

That quote’s pretty interesting btw. Ive heard variations of it but yeah its something to think about. Without societal expectations things would be a lot different.

Honestly I used to be in that same boat of judgement because the idea of being transmasc and a lesbian seemed impossible and wrong to me like 3 years ago, but here I am so lol. I’d say read the book (and be wary of several heavy possibly triggering topics in it) to get maybe a better grasp of what you’re feeling.

And again, ty for being kind. Hope things become easier as you learn more, and Im sending you a big hug right back :3 ❤️

[whittakerjodie]

The Reader, The Timelord, and the Wardrobe (13th Doctor  X Reader)

Request:  13th x Reader Prompt- Stuck in the Tardis/ Storytime with Props from the Wardrobe -bonus points for lots of hats -Double Points for silly/sfw wardrobe malfunction

Words: 3k

Warnings: too much fluff, kinda crack at some points but thats what makes it fun!

A/N: This got kinda off of the prompt so im sorry! The inspiration was high for this one, thoguh, thank you for sending in a request and I hope that you enjoy this!!!!!1 

   You dropped the sweater you were wearing onto the floor, letting the TARDIS take care of it. It was currently 9 o’clock at night (at least, it was according to the cheap watch you’d brought with you last time the Doctor picked you up) and you still had yet to settle on an outfit for the Doctor’s next surprise; the day had been full of them, but according to the timelord she’d saved the best for last. You were supposed to dress “comfortably.” Despite her instruction, you still wanted to dress nicely for her- which made the outfit selection process a lot more difficult as the signals mixed. 

“You almost ready?” The Doctor asked eagerly. She was sitting on a staircase down from where you were to give you privacy. You had no idea where the staircases lead, but the TARDIS wardrobe seemed to be full of them. More closets, perhaps? 

“Not quite” You said with a frown. “Are you sure you can’t just pick something out for me?” 

There was a pause and, for the briefest of moments, the worry that you’d said something wrong. The Doctor cleared her throat and gave a small chuckle. “Not sure my fashion sense would be best this time round” 

“Pleaaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeee?” You whined, kicking the pile of discarded clothes aside in defeat. “It could be another fun birthday surprise!” 

The selling point worked and the Doctor stood from her sitting place. You covered yourself with a rob that had miraculously appeared on a hanger near you as she ascended the stairs. 

“Alright, if you insist” She murmured with a playful roll of her eyes, avoiding you with them. 

“Well it is my special day” You answered back. She flashed you a split-second smile and began shifting through the infinity of clothes contained- if contained was even a word that could be applied to such a space - the wardrobe. 

You took a seat on a couch in the corner, admiring the crystalline walls. According to the Doctor, the wardrobe and hallways always changed to match the console whenever the space-time machine deemed it time for a remodel. Running your fingers over the wall, your mind drifted to possible earlier versions of the rooms, similar to your late night musings about the Doctor’s previous personalities. 

“Here,” she said, breaking you out of your focus. In her left hand she held a pair of jeans and thick snow boots. The boot matched the geometric designed multicolored winter jacket in her right hand, and the hat she was also trying to cling on to. 

“Good?” She asked, pulling matching mittens off of an unseen surface and between her teeth (the only method of display she had left) You laughed at her ridiculous position, deciding to toy with her a little further. 

“Sorry, Doctor, what was that?” 

“Iz thwis gwood?” Came her muffled repeat, garbled by the garment she had shoved into her mouth. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from ruining the game so soon. 

“Sorry, still didn’t catch that” The Doctor took a deep breath, preparing to respond, when one of the mittens fell out of her mouth. The soft impact broke through your willpower and you let out a loud laugh- one that was only encouraged by the Doctor’s annoyed expression. 

“Special day!” You used as armor. She picked the mitten off the floor and dumped her selections onto the couch next to you, setting her hands on her hips. 

“Very funny. Now get dressed, the ice lakes of- oh! Not supposed to say that. Don’t worry, though, that’s not the whole surprise!” She laughed nervously. “Alright… I’m going to … sit over there. “ 

She returned to her stair seat, huffing and mumbling under her breath about “Almost ruining it” You shrugged and started to pull on the pieces, sighing at the comfort that the thick winter jacket gave you. Ice lakes, hmm? It only took a few minutes and you were fully clothed, running your hands over your new outfit. It fit you perfectly, the colors complimenting your natural features well. 

“Thanks for helping her out, old girl” You whispered to the mirror in front of you. The lights grew a little brighter in response and you smiled. 

“Alright! All dressed” You cheered. The Doctor stepped in front of you again, grinning. 

“You look brilliant. Guess my talents were useful after all.” 

“For sure,” You chuckled. She held out her arm and you linked yours with it, nerves buzzing at the gesture and proximity. You experimentally reached your free hand towards her to rest it on her bicep, which, to your surprise, was quite established. The timelord adjusted to the touch immediately, leading you towards the doors of the wardrobe room. Like all TARDIS doors, they slid open when one approached. Or, more accurately, they should have slid open when you approached. The Doctor’s smile turned into a frown and she stepped back, taking you with her, then stepped forward again. 

The door did not budge. 

The Doctor chuckled, face relaxed, but there was a hint of nervousness to her tone. “Sure it’s just the old girl forgetting to open it. See?” She stepped closer and the door still did not open. You felt a mix of amusement and your own nervousness rise within you. 

“Uh, it’s still not opening.” 

“Yeahhhh….” The Doctor trailed off, pursing her lips. “Maybe she’s doing maintenance down that way. Lets try another” 

She pulled you towards another one of the doors available, re-establishing her grin. Once again, as the two of you approached, the door stayed closed. The Doctor’s grin did not fall; instead it stayed, although obviously forced. “Just need to try again, of course!” 

So the two of you went down each pathway and stairwell, up to each and every door displaced in the wardrobe room, until only one remained with the possibility of success. 

“Just the old girl having fun with us for your birthday, right?” the Doctor grumbled through gritted teeth. Your arms were no longer linked, hers crossed tightly against her chest. Yours were rolling the zipper of the winter jacket between two fingers, wondering if you should take it off. It was getting awfully hot in the room, and the sour attitudes slowly being adopted did nothing to help. 

“Doctor, I’m sure that's the case,” You tried to calm her down. “Look, we singled it down to one door. Obviously it’s this one”

However, as you stepped closer, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had just jinxed things. Your fingers clenched into fists in your anxiety, the Doctor tensing as well. One last door. One last door. 

You were 10 feet away, and the door had not budged. 9 feet. 8 feet. 7 feet. 6 feet. 5 feet. 4 feet. 3 feet. 2 feet. And finally, 1 foot away. The Doctor hit her forehead against the door, groaning obnoxiously. Your limbs went limp, and your own groan matched the timelords. 

“I don’t understand!” The Doctor cried, pushing on the door.

“It’s not push,” You offered, and she glared at you. You awkwardly lifted your wrist to check the time. It was already 10 pm. The two of you had spent an entire hour out of the limited birthday hours left simply trying to leave a room. The Doctor cemented her feet and pushed against the door horizontally, grunting and groaning with the sheer effort. You knew that it was no use, trying to fight a time machine. 

“Doctor,” You said softly. 

“I will get us out of here,” She groaned, straining harder. 

“Doctor!” You yelled. She jumped in surprise and nearly fell to the floor. You offered a hand and lifted her back up. “It’s okay. Just try and think of what’s happened. If you don’t know we could always wait it out. I’m sure the TARDIS will sort it” 

The Doctor nodded, reaching to tuck her hair behind her ear. You completed the task for her and she grabbed your hand, bringing it back down by her side. 

“I’m sorry that this is happening. Such a waste of time. Hopefully there’s still time for the ice lakes.” 

“We’re in a time machine, Doctor. There’s always time for the bone lakes.” You said, squeezing her hands reassuringly. She lifted yours to her mouth, giving it a soft kiss as you pulled her back towards one of the couches so the two of you could sit and think. 

“But it won’t be a special birthday surprise” She whispered mournfully. You shook your head as she took a seat next to you, flopped over the couches surface with a frown. You scooted over so that her arm was practically over your shoulders, leaning into her side. 

“We’ve still got time left. 2 hours, according to my watch.” 

“You still have one of those?” The Doctor asked. You flashed the timepiece, letting her examine it. “Interesting. Most people who’ve traveled with me get rid of them. But I’ll add watches to the list of potential presents for the future.” 

“You don’t have to get me anything,” You laughed, as her fingers wrapped around your wrist in a not so subtle attempt to measure what size of watch she should shop for. 

“Of course I do,” She whispered. You realized how close the two of you were, leaning into one another. It was wonderful, despite the fact that your rising body temperature and winter coat combining to make everything feel utterly 

“I really need to get out of this coat,” You groaned. The Doctor’s eyes widened and you laughed, pushing yourself up off the couch and walking over to one of the clothing racks, hiding behind it so you could change. 

“I’ve had an idea!” The Doctor called from her place on the couch. You threw the coat across the room, thankful to be freed from your role as a hot pocket. The mittens and hat went next, followed by the snow boots. 

“Oh?” You inquired, unlacing them and setting them against the wall (deciding throwing them was not a safe option) When the timelord didn’t answer, you raised a brow. Keeping the jeans, you pulled a random shirt off of the clothes rack and pulled it over your head. 

“I visited Midnight and all I got was this lousy T-shirt?” You read, laughing to yourself. “What’s Midnight?” You asked. Once again, you got no response. With the TARDIS already malfunctioning once, you didn’t want to take any chances- what if she had misplaced the Doctor herself? You leapt out from behind the clothing rack. 

Thankfully, the Doctor was still stuck with you. Or, at the very least, you assumed it was the Doctor. Her entire body was hidden underneath a very large panda costume. You blinked, unsure of how to react. 

“Um. Doctor?” 

She laughed underneath the costume, shoulders shaking. “Just because we can’t go watch the great Stavron migration under the ice lakes doesn’t mean we can’t have fun! I thought a little bit of dress up would do the trick.” 

You laughed with her, poking the costume curiously. “When people say dress up I imagine fancy suits and dresses- where’d you even get this?” 

“I’ll never reveal my secrets!” She yelled. “Hang on” 

You watched her disappear behind a clothing rack, the Panda costume thrown across the room and landing in an awkward heap. A few more clothes followed suit before the Doctor emerged again, dressed from head to toe in a mish-mash of patterns and colors, topped off with a large brimmed red hat. 

“Doctor,” You laughed, “Come on, what’s all of this?” 

“A laugh!” She said, tipping her obnoxious hat in your direction. She smirked. “Looks like it’s working, hmm?” 

She disappeared a couple more times, with a different extravagant outfit each time. A three piece suit with a cowboy hat pattern accompanied by an actual cowboy hat, which reached the ceiling. A Zygon costume with a pink tutu to (not) match. Every single one made you laugh harder, until you had to hold your stomach to stop yourself. At some point she’d taken the knitted chicken hat she found and pulled it on top of your head with a mischievous smile. 

You were out of breath and your jaw ached, but it was the best pain you’d ever felt. The Doctor, realizing she’d pushed you past giggling limits, jumped back onto the couch next to you. She was currently wearing a large rainbow sweater with far too many enamel pins to count, pants that were striped in blue and pink, clown shoes, and a pair of fluffy mouse ears. 

“Doctor... “ You whined. “Where do you even find these clothes” 

“All sorts of places!” She said, feigning offence. “You don’t like the sweater?” 

“I love the sweater.” You reassured her. You lifted your wrist again. 10:30 pm. The Doctor frowned at the clock's face. 

“Do you want to check the doors again?” She asked softly, searching your face for any sign of discontent. 

“No,” You whispered, shaking your head. If you went around checking all of them again, it would likely lead to more disappointment and you only had so little time on your birthday left. “Will you tell me some stories to pass the time instead?” 

“Are you sure? We might miss out on the ice lakes for your special day” You smiled at the Doctor’s adorable frown and her concern. You placed a hand on her cheek, using her thumb to smooth the frown upward into a smile. 

“Doctor, you’ve already made today- and everyday- beyond special. You could sit here with me for the rest of eternity doing nothing and it would be all I could ever ask for.” 

“Y/n,” She murmured, her gaze softening and form relaxing. “You’re far too kind. Anything you could ever ask for, really?” 

You stared up into her hazel eyes, the ones that held an infinity of experience and knowledge, and offered an endless landscape of color and love, and your smile grew. No present, or memory, or trip could ever equate to the women you held in your hands and your heart. “Well,” You began, biting your lip. “I was thinking I could ask you for a kiss as well.” 

The Doctor’s eyes widened briefly but she gave no hesitation in her nod, which was eager. You sighed in relief and closed the distance between the two of you, absorbing every spark you felt as your lips met. The Doctor pressed more eagerly, and you carefully wound your arms around her neck to hold her tighter. The Doctor, trying to figure out what to do with her own hands, explored the area around your shoulders as you broke away for a quick, deep breath, before kissing her again. 

Her hands moved upward to cradle your head, and for a moment, you felt a slight bit of pressure against what would be the comb of the chicken’s head when a chicken cry rang throughout the room. 

The Doctor pulled back, mortified. 

“Uh- what the fuck was that” You stammered, face still red from the Doctor’s being pressed against it. 

“There- There’s a button there. For the noise, and I pressed it,” She answered quickly, face draining of blood. You blinked, unsure of how to respond. Your hands were still wrapped around the Doctor’s neck, which you could feel heating up. Deciding the situation was simply too incredible, you involuntarily let out a loud bark of a laugh, slapping one of your hands to your mouth to try and cover it up. 

The Doctor watched with eyes as wide as saucers as you lost it, trying to stop yourself. 

“I- I had no idea that was there! I swear! I’ve worn it before and everything and it’s never-” 

“Doctor,” you chuckled. “Doctor it’s fine, if anything it’s hilarious” 

“I didn’t imagine our first kiss being hilarious,” She said with a huff. Your face went slack. 

“You didn’t.. Imagine?” The Doctor avoided your gaze, adjusting her sweater. 

“N-Not that I imagined our first kiss of course, that would be weird. Right?” Her eyes shot back to you, brow furrowed. 

“Not at all.” You responded. You reached up to toy with the strands of the chicken hat, taking your chance to admit your own wishes “I imagined it too…” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Couple times.” 

“Was it?” 

“Was it what?” 

“What you imagined.” 

“Not exactly,” You admitted. “But I liked it. A lot.” 

“Oh!” The Doctor breathed, scratching the back of her neck. “Good. That’s always good.” 

“Do you know what would be better?” 

“What?” 

“Another one.” You pleaded, pouting. The Doctor grinned and dipped downward to capture your lips once more. Before they could meet you placed a single finger inbetween the two of you, preventing the contact. It was the Doctor’s turn to pout, looking adorably confused. “Another one after you tell me a story.” 

“Why can’t I kiss you now and then again after the story” She whimpered. You considered what she’d said, trying not to break. “Because it’s my birthday and I say so?” You offered. “Now tell me a story. One about a crazy adventure, and don’t spare a single detail.” 

“Alright, I suppose I can’t refuse a request on your birthday. Even if it’s not a birthday surprise I’ll do my best to make it happen; I’m amazing at stories.” She leaned back against the couch, offering her arm for you to slide under. You accepted it, cuddling into her side. 

She told more than one story, her voice soft and her eyes looking off into the distance, lost inside the memories she was describing to you. If you found yourself awake enough to latch onto your words, you could almost slip into them yourself. Five stories in, you spared one last glance at your watch. 11:58. 

Deciding it was good to call your birthday over with, you allowed your eyelids to shut. You felt the Doctor  kiss you once more, on the forehead, before letting you drift away in her arms. Though the day hadn’t gone as expected, you couldn’t have wished for anything else.