#i guess also part of the point is that i suspect it was not intentional and thats just part of his accent

[majorshatterandhare]

Okay, accent/pronunciation post.

In Hereward the Wake, Tim pronounces “duty” with a /j/ (yod) which creates a pronunciation something like /ˈdjuː.ti/ in the IPA or “dyoo-tee” in English phonetic spelling. From what I can tell, this is one of two common pronunciations in English accents, the other being /ˈdʒuː.ti/ in the IPA or “djoo-tee” in English phonetic spelling. This second pronunciation features coalescence of the d and yod to create a dj sound. This can be contrasted by Rachel’s pronunciation of “duty” in Alice, which features yod dropping, and can be written as /ˈduː.ti/ in the IPA or “doo-tee” in English phonetic spelling. Although Tim is doing a very odd accent in Hereward, it doesn’t really matter in this case. In Riddle of the Sphinx he pronounces “introduced” with a coalescence of the d and yod (/ˌɪn. trə ˈdʒuːst/ or “in-truh-djoost”) and regardless of whether it is coalesced or not, as long as it’s not *dropped* it works for our purposes.

Okay, now we get into why this is funny to me. The yod-close back rounded vowel pair (/ju/ or “yoo”) comes to English from French. The French close front rounded vowel sound (/y/, I have no idea how I’d write this in English phonetic spelling, but make the inside of your mouth like you’re gonna say “ee” and your lips like your gonna say “oo” and that’s how you make it) came into English and was separated into /i/ and /u/ (or “ee” and “oo”) but then the /i/ was replaced with yod. This was not only applied to words that came from French, but also some pre-existing English words as well (and is now applied to foreign words once they’ve been in English long enough, like “Cuba”).

Now, when did the yod-close back rounded vowel pair enter English? Well, when was English heavily influenced by French? That’s right, when the Normans took over. And who fought the Normans? Hereward!

This lead me to the idea of an Anglish translation of Hereward the Wake. Has anyone done that yet?

[Note: information on the yod-close back rounded vowel pair came from this video by Dr. Geoff Lindsey; IPA representations were taken from the online Cambridge Dictionary and Wikictionary and adjusted where necessary (such as making “introduce” into “introduced”). Also I’m not actually positive that Tim doesn’t coalesce the d and yod in “duty”, it sounds kinda like both to me, but either way it comes from the French which is the important part for this post.]

[nyoomerr]

if fic prompts are still open then bingge and shen yuan both trying to attic wife each other?

if they aren’t then sorry for bothering you

big fan of bingge trying to atticwife sy, VERY big fan of sy trying to atticwife bingge.

warnings on this one for - you guessed it - atticwifing. lmao.

---

Shen Yuan considers the fireplace of Luo Binghe’s study with a critical eye. Near the back of it, he can see a piece of wood that sticks out from the others, skinnier and shorter and of much higher quality wood than the other logs. It’s struggling to burn, the lacquer on it making it harder for a flame to catch than a plain log would.

This is because it is a piece of Shen Yuan’s cane, which is certainly not designed to be firewood.

It isn’t a large piece. It’s small enough that someone who doesn’t actually use a cane might not even notice it. If, for instance, the person who cut the piece off wasn’t someone familiar with using a cane, they may think this to be a very stealthy length to cut.

Shen Yuan has been using this cane for over half a decade, though, so he’s intimately familiar with exactly how tall it should be. Having it suddenly be shorter by a couple finger widths was so startling that he’d nearly fallen this morning when he first put his weight on it. More than that, it’s a significant enough change in the cane’s height that using the cane has become a bit more difficult than it should be, making the pain in Shen Yuan’s knees and back flare up after only half a day.

Difficult enough, in fact, that it becomes tempting to not move around much at all. Shen Yuan suspects that had been the point.

“Binghe,” he calls, still staring thoughtfully at the missing piece of his cane in the fireplace. “Come here for a second?”

Obediently, Luo Binghe abandons his paperwork to come up behind Shen Yuan, laying his arms over Shen Yuan’s shoulders and resting his head on Shen Yuan’s. 

Luo Binghe is no small man, but he’s also not foolish, and has quite a bit of experience with past lovers. With his core strength and… intimate understanding of Shen Yuan’s body, it should be no trouble for him to take up this pose without actually putting any of his weight on Shen Yuan. After all, Shen Yuan can barely keep his own weight up, some days.

Luo Binghe instead leans just enough of his weight on Shen Yuan that he can feel his joints creaking. This, too, makes him want to sit down and not move much. It might even force him to - it wouldn’t surprise Shen Yuan if this pressure from Luo Binghe is slowly worsening his bones and joints, bit by bit until something gives.

“Yuan-er,” Luo Binghe croons, nuzzling into Shen Yuan’s hair. “Did you miss me?”

Shen Yuan hums. He hadn’t missed Luo Binghe, really, because Luo Binghe had been in the same room as him this whole time.

It isn’t good to encourage Luo Binghe that ‘in the same room’ is close enough, though. ‘In the same room’ could quickly become ‘in the adjacent room,’ which could become ‘in the same wing of the palace.’

Shen Yuan has no intention of letting Luo Binghe off his leash so easily.

“It’s lonely without someone close,” Shen Yuan lies. “If you know you can’t be with me, can’t you at least warn me so that I can call for someone else to chat with me?”

Luo Binghe’s weight on Shen Yuan increases, his arms no longer hanging over Shen Yuan lazily and instead curling to grip tightly at whatever parts of Shen Yuan they can reach. Shen Yuan shifts, acting as if Luo Binghe’s stickiness is burdensome, and Luo Binghe’s grip turns harsher, not giving Shen Yuan any room to wiggle out of it.

As always, Luo Binghe’s possessiveness is the easiest string to pull. 

“I’ll stick closer to Yuan-er in the future,” Luo Binghe promises. 

“Good,” Shen Yuan says. He turns his attention back to the fire. “For now, though, I just wanted to ask if you knew what happened to my cane?”

“Something happened to Yuan-er’s cane?” Luo Binghe asks, concerned. One of his hands trails down Shen Yuan’s arm to rest on top of the hand Shen Yuan has on his cane, as if to check.

It would surely be a convincing act to anyone who didn’t know Luo Binghe as well. Shen Yuan can not be fooled so easily. Luo Binghe’s claws are not extended, and his breath didn’t hitch at the idea of someone vandalizing something of Shen Yuan’s. 

As Shen Yuan expected, it must really have been Luo Binghe who cut this piece of his cane off.

“Mm,” Shen Yuan says, pretending not to know the truth. “It’s shorter than it’s supposed to be. It makes it harder to walk.”

“If Yuan-er is having trouble walking, then he shouldn’t walk at all!” Luo Binghe cries. He does not seem concerned about who or what could have caused Shen Yuan’s cane to shorten.

Shen Yuan nods. That’s fine. He doesn’t mind this outcome; it’s easy to twist in his own favor.

“It might be best for me to stay in our bedroom, for now,” he agrees. “But…”

Luo Binghe’s hand goes tight over Shen Yuan’s, his claws digging into Shen Yuan’s fingers. “Is there something wrong with staying there for a while?”

Naturally, the time period that Luo Binghe is really thinking of is much longer than ‘a while.’ Luo Binghe has been trying to lock Shen Yuan up somewhere safe and away from everyone else for as long as Shen Yuan has been in this world.

Shen Yuan knows this because he’s the one who carefully engineered it that way.

He knows this because he’s the one who decided that this would be the easiest way to lock Luo Binghe up somewhere safe and away from everyone else.

It isn’t that Shen Yuan doesn’t think Luo Binghe can take care of himself! On the contrary, no one is more aware of Luo Binghe’s martial prowess than Shen Yuan. Nothing in this world can hurt Luo Binghe in a meaningful way - not now that Luo Binghe has reached this stage of his life past all his training and suffering - because this world was written around him. 

Shen Yuan isn’t concerned about Luo Binghe’s safety in the traditional sense, though. 

The world was written around Luo Binghe, and so naturally everyone who lays eyes on him can see how brilliant he is, how beautiful. Everyone who sees Luo Binghe wants them for themselves, and far, far too many of those people are bold enough to dare try and take him.

Women that lose all sense of reason when they see him, women that lose all their clothes when they are near him, women that lose their virginity when they are seduced by him -!

If all the stupid, useless, would-be wives in this world can’t help losing pieces of themselves to Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan thinks viciously, then it’s for the best if Luo Binghe isn’t around them to begin with.

These women are everywhere, though, in every corner of the combined realms and every hallway of Luo Binghe’s own palace. Luo Binghe could simply be going down to the kitchens and encounter two handfuls of needy, whiney women on his way there, ready to waste Luo Binghe’s time with their miserable attempts at seduction. 

Shen Yuan won’t allow Luo Binghe’s time to be wasted any more, not now that he’s here instead of just reading about it. He won’t allow Luo Binghe to lay with any more women who may give him a nasty disease, or who may burden him with a child, or - worst of all - who may pretend to care for Luo Binghe while knowing nothing substantial about him.

Shen Yuan knows Luo Binghe, though. He knows Luo Binghe best. Luo Binghe is safest with him, most loved with him, and it’s really only responsible of Shen Yuan to make sure that Luo Binghe doesn’t stray from this green pasture.

Shen Yuan doesn’t have the strength to overpower Luo Binghe, though, nor the tools to trap him. If he’s to keep Luo Binghe in one spot away from all those nasty parasites, he’ll have to make Luo Binghe want to stay put. 

“It’s not that it would be difficult to stay in our rooms,” Shen Yuan says. “It’s only that I don’t think I can be left alone there. If I can’t walk without assistance, then I’ll need help with normal day-to-day stuff, too.”

“If it’s to help Yuan-er, I can do anything he needs,” Luo Binghe says instantly.

Shen Yuan hums again. No, he decides, he’s not deep enough in it, yet.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that…” Shen Yuan demures. “It’s - I mean think about it, Binghe, it wouldn’t just be helping me to change or helping me move from the bed to the couch. I’d need help with things like going to the bathroom, too, which is just - no, it’s too much.”

Luo Binghe shudders, and Shen Yuan feels the movement of it resonate through his whole body. No doubt Luo Binghe was just picturing what it would be like, to have Shen Yuan so thoroughly dependent on him that Shen Yuan even needed to be held through the process of taking a piss. How did he imagine it, Shen Yuan wonders - did he just think about helping Shen Yuan to the chamber pot? Or did he imagine pushing Shen Yuan’s robes apart and taking hold of him, and of being the one to clean Shen Yuan after? 

Naturally, the later vision wouldn’t be necessary. Shen Yuan has a limp, not full body paralysis. Even suggesting that he needs constant assistance to stay in one room is a stretch.

He doesn’t mind keeping the leash tighter than it needs to be, though. If it’s the vision that Luo Binghe prefers, Shen Yuan will act it out with him, if only to get Luo Binghe to stay safely in his room without leaving.

“I can do that for Yuan-er,” Luo Binghe insists. His voice is rougher than it had been just a moment ago.

“Then,” Shen Yuan says, satisfied, “we’d best return to our rooms, and send a letter to your court that we won’t be leaving.”

Luo Binghe shudders again, holds Shen Yuan tight for a moment longer, and obeys.

[habaritess]

Is Claire Bear one of the villains of The Bear? Part 1

This is going to be kind of long, so I decided it'd be better to cut it up into 2 parts.

Recent discussions on here about Claire and Donna (@currymanganese, @thoughtfulchaos773) has got me really thinking about her character. I find it was weird how the majority of the people in The Bear have such a high opinion of her, and yet what we the audience see from her short time on screen is someone much more grey and maybe even a little sinister. Why sinister? Because Claire seems to have a major lack of conscience and is also incredibly manipulative. If Claire is such a great person like every fricken character seems to believe, then why do the writers create a character that has this many alarm bells?

I wanted to “understand” it.

I believe the first warning signs of Claire was that story she told about her childhood. A childhood friend broke her arm and while all the other kids were scared and panicked, Claire was calm. Carmy assumed it’s because she wanted to learn how to fix her broken arm so that she can help her, but Claire said she wanted to understand it. The graphic injury made her want to understand it. Let that sink in. The other kids were disturbed by the injury and no doubt also by the cries of the injured girl. Claire wasn’t. She was mentally disconnected from the scene because her empathy wasn't activated. Instead, she chooses to analyze the broken arm as if it isn’t connected to a fellow playmate. I suspect that this story Claire tells explains exactly what kind of person she is. She looks at people as a thing to analyze, and she does so in order to get what wants from them. 

We get an example of how she observes other people when she correctly guesses what Carmy named his restaurant. Carmy is completely shocked. When you watch the show, you get the impression that Carmy was infatuated with Claire while they were growing up, but they weren’t close. Definitely not close enough to the point where Carmy would have spoken to Claire about what he would name his hypothetical restaurant, but Claire is quite confident that Carmy had once “told” her. He never did. I suspect that Claire has been observing Carmy, just as she has been observing many people, and she guessed what he would have named just by what she knew of him. In one way, you could view this scene as a sweet thing, that it is evidence of Claire being secretly in love with Carmy for a long time, but the way the scene was portrayed was not of something sweet( or at least that was my impression of it). In fact, Carmy seemed a little disturbed by it even, and I suspect even he had some small alarm bells going off.

During the whole conversation, Carmy gave off the impression that he was forcing himself to make small talk with an older acquaintance to avoid being rude, but he would rather been anywhere else. He had no intentions of getting reacquainted with Claire, and gave the fake number as a way to dodge any future engagements. Most people would have taken the hint… but not Claire.

Claire always gets what she wants.

It is very common for a person who grew up in abusive, dysfunctional households to find themselves in relationships with abusive individuals. It’s partly because these individuals are drawn to the negative treatment that they are used to and don’t believe they deserve anything better, and also because abusive people are adept at spotting abused individuals, and know who they can and can’t manipulate. 

Little observant Claire knows Carm. She probably knew of his past crush on her and knew of his family issues. Carmy used to be way more withdrawn and quiet, lacking any friends, and was probably desperate for any positive attention. Carmy is one easy to manipulate, and Claire knows this and takes full advantage. Claire wants her some Carmy. I don’t believe she always liked Carmy, but I believe she was fully aware of his attraction towards her and probably had Carmy as a possible person to get with in the future if need be. She wanted her some Carmy and shoot her shot, but the first sign of trouble for her was Carmy barely recognizing her. She continued on and got what she thought was his number, only to find out it was a fake. This probably enraged her, and she went on a mission to get him, and get him she does through pure manipulation tactics.

She calls him, the first thing she does is ask him if he gave her a fake number, then informs him that she is “hurt”. This is the first guilt trip. Claire knows that poor, sad, lonely Carmy who grew up in a dysfunctional family that he consistently tried and failed to please, would be horrified at the idea that he let someone down. That they were sad because of him. Claire goes on to inform him that she knows his entire family plus the Faks. This is important. She is informing Carmy that he can’t escape. She is tying him down to her and giving him only a few choices.

Carmy does not confront problematic individuals. He spent the majority of his life living with his alcoholic and narcissistic mother who could never be reasoned with. He learned it was better to withdraw within himself, dissociate, and appease the people around him in order to lessen the toxicity of his environment rather than confront the problems directly. Eventually, he learned the only other way for peace is to cut certain people out of his life, and he did so by cutting off the majority of his family. If he can’t separate from them, he reverts back to his coping mechanism for dealing with his dysfunctional family,  mentally absorbing their toxicity and trying his best to appease them, never truly standing up for himself, like he did so with David Shields, the evil chef in his past. Claire took away his option to run away. She knows too many of the people he knows. Her threats trap him with her and he reluctantly accepts he can’t get away from her and rather than be upfront and straight up telling her he can’t deal with her right now, he reverts back to what he usually does and focuses on appeasing her needs. Claire continues on the attack by repeatedly asking him why he gave her a fake number and applying more mental pressure. He denies it and apologizes repeatedly for the mistake, and note that in this scene, she smiles broadly at his apologies. She is loving his groveling and knows she got him where she wants.

He is still the weak Carmy she observed growing up. She still continues on accusing him of giving her a fake number, really laying down the guilt trip. She then asks him if he truly wanted her to have the number to which nonconfrontational Carmy reassures her that he did, but come on. Listen to him. He sounded incredibly unenthused and she had him repeat it twice. She is not stupid. She knows he didn’t want her to have his number. Rather than accept reality, she doubles down. She asks him if he was busy today. Carmy hesitated for bit and was trying to confirm to her that, yes, he was busy, but despite knowing that he was going to decline her, Claire interrupts him, tells him not to make this weird, and asks for a favor. Carmy is guilt tripped into believing he did wrong for giving Claire a fake number and thus denying such a favor would be really wrong. Claire made it such a big deal that she even threatened to have Fak punch Carmy in the face for it, really laying down how disagreeable his actions were to her and that he deserved punishment in some way for it. Carmy is gaslighted into thinking his actions were horrible and now he must make it up to Claire… somehow. He does so by doing what he has learned to do since his childhood. Do what they want no matter what he feels about.

Now that Carmy feels like he owes Claire his attention, they start to make future plans together. Now, Carmy doesn't want to do this with Claire, but feels obligated to do it since he feels like he can’t escape her. On season 2 episode 5, Carmy decides to use the forced time he has with Claire to do something productive for the restaurant. He actually changes their plans to hang out… to go mail their wine permit off. Note here that before he calls Claire, Carmy actually sighs twice and shifts uncomfortably on his feet. Note that Carmy shuffles his feet when he is in a situation he doesn’t want to be in, like he did in the beginning of the Christmas episode with his family. He really, really, REALLY doesn’t want to hang out with Claire at all, but forces himself to appease her.

We get another inkling of how emotionally detached Claire is when she brags about being a horrible driver. The girl is a doctor, but she is excited about being a bad driver because of the risks involved. Being a bad driver not only put the driver at risks, but others as well, but Claire does not care about this part. Now one can suggests she is just joking to play with Carmy, but putting what she says in context with other things she said, it fits her personality to not think of others. Carmy attempts to start a conversation with Claire by asking her about her residency. Claire chooses not to answer him and instead tries to throw it back at him, leading to an incredibly uncomfortable moment. One thing I notice about the beginning of this scene is that Claire is clearly annoyed by Carmy’s change of plans. You can see how irritated she is in the beginning of the scene by her head movements and expression, so her dig at Carmy in this conversation was her way of getting back at him.

Claire knows that Carmy is using their hang out time to do something convenient for himself, and she is pissed about it because it’s just yet another sign that he “just not that into her.”

End of Part 1

Part 2

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to hang out with my boyfriend’s best friend?

My [33F] boyfriend’s [30M] (we’ll call him R) best friend (30s M) (call him D) is chronically late but also never communicates anything. I have ADHD and like I get it. I have all the patience in the world for people who are late if they communicate they will be late. But D will never communicate anything, ever.

R and D have a standing game night on Fridays where they go for dinner and play board games. D “normally” comes between 4-5pm. He picks up his kids from school at 3:30, drops them home with his partner and then drives over. It is a 30 minute drive. But in the past, both on regular Friday meetings, and for other meetups, he has been significantly late (3 hours, once!) without saying a word all day.

R wants me to join them on Friday evenings. I don’t have a traditional ‘job’ but I am a crafter with many things to do and also, as mentioned, I have ADHD. Part of that means I really need a specific time to go and do something otherwise I will just be stuck in like “wait mode” all day unable to do anything because I don’t know when I need to stop doing it. The first time I went out with R & D I did lose the whole day (no work done) because we could get no actual information from D on when he was coming, and he ended up not arriving until after 5pm.

I told D I didn’t appreciate not being able to properly plan my day, and that providing a heads up about these things is generally considered polite. I also made it clear afterwards to R that if D continued to not communicate anything and just “turn up whenever, at some point after 4, maybe” then I would not be joining them on board game nights. 

Today I once again only had “4-5ish, I guess” but by 4:30 not only was D not here but R had heard nothing from him, and suspected he had not even left. I told R I was not coming, I had already mostly lost the day - having stopped work several hours before - but I would at least be reclaiming the evening.

At 5:15 R called me to say that D had been arranging to have his partner come, and had been sorting out childcare (in the form of D’s mum). He at no point earlier in the day had said anything about this to R. In fact they hadn’t spoken at all. D then told R they would be leaving at around 5:45, so wouldn’t be here until at least 6:15.

I reiterated that I would not be coming. It was a boundary I set before and was very clear about, and was now enforcing it. D could have said much earlier that he was planning on inviting his partner, would have to arrange childcare, and would likely be later than usual. He chose not to do that, so I am choosing to not go.

R then got upset with me and said he would not be coming over to spend the night at my place the following evening (we have a normal routine on who stays where which days, and he knows unexpectedly changing that without any discussion at all will also mess with my ability to do things. The routine is important to me) because I was being unfair. 

I told him, again, it’s a firm boundary for me. People who won’t communicate anything at all when you have plans (even loose ones) aren’t respecting other people’s time. Even if that’s not the intention it’s still just… rude to the other person. Other people still have lives when you’re not there, and expecting everyone else to just be ready for “whenever” you feel like showing up without a word is not ok. Again, if it happens only once in a while because Shit Happens that’s different. But if it’s every time, with everyone, forever, then really you’re just a bit inconsiderate.

R says he doesn’t feel that way because he doesn’t have anything going on so it doesn’t bother him, so he isn’t upset with D (even though I have things on, so it does impact and bother me, his partner) but he is upset with me because I am “making him feel bad”. D’s complete lack of communication and lateness is not the problem, the fact I am annoyed about it and choosing to stay home is the problem. I said it is not fair to blame me for this turn of events when (unlike D) I was VERY clear beforehand that I wouldn’t be going if this happened, and that if nothing else he should still be at least a little annoyed with D for not respecting my time after I’d already spoken to him about it.

Instead of actually sitting D down and properly telling him “look I don’t have things to do but L does and it does bother her when you don’t communicate anything so it is messing with her work when you do this and that is not ok”, R then said he just won’t invite me to anything ever again. So I can’t be upset if he’s late.

AITA for refusing to go to board game night?

What are these acronyms?

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

[lurkingshan]

Things That Have My Attention in 4 Minutes Episode 4

Congrats to the Dome is Tonkla's brother truthers!

Let's talk timelines again. I still think we're working with two timelines, but I no longer think they're cleanly separated. Because if they were, you could not have some of these things happening concurrently. If we only had an Original timeline and a Redo timeline, then everything Great changes should be part of the Redo timeline. But in this episode Great saved Nan in the same timeline where Dome was dead, which we know because Great got Nan's location by getting Korn trashed after Korn fought with Tonkla over his abandonment in the aftermath of Dome's death. These things are all connected, so we can't cleanly sort events into one timeline or the other.

Which means it's most likely that the two timelines are bleeding together, making things unstable. This would explain Great's experience of overlapping moments last week, and Tonkla seeing Dome briefly before things went all weird and he disappeared at the end of today's episode.

By the way, it turns out those cold opens are not of the future--Tonkla has already done the murder in the same timeline where he's messing around with the cop. ETA: @my-rose-tinted-glasses pointed out that this is not necessarily true if the scene of Win getting the fingerprints and the phone call is also in the future. So back to square one on that!

Speaking of, what is up with Win? He is fully engaging in an affair with a murder suspect and doesn't seem to be investigating Tonkla at all. And I cannot let this pass without comment: why on earth did Win not put his pants back on during the long scene of him listening to Tonkla and Korn?! Was this really an appropriate situation to Winnie the Pooh it???

The flashback to Tonkla and Korn's beginning gave good context for why Tonkla thought he might be able to have more with Korn. I appreciated the details there: Korn was giving him money before they even had sex the first time and was lying to him about his intentions from the start, while Tonkla had zero experience when they met and didn't know how to recognize the signs of Korn's lies. Korn basically groomed this kid to be his sidepiece and has strung him along for years.

Tonkla definitely feels like a tragic character heading for a bad end, though perhaps he will also be saved eventually by the timeline shifts. In the timeline where Dome is dead and he's fucking Win, Tonkla is being incredibly reckless. I couldn't believe he just moved a new man into the home Korn pays for, he's gonna get caught.

I was grateful the show did not actually go all the way with Korn assaulting Tonkla, but it was clear he would have if Tonkla had not managed to distract him.

I continue to find the emotional tenor of Great and Tyme's scenes kinda weird. I don't understand why Great is so willing to betray Korn to help Tyme after just meeting him, I don't understand why Tyme revealed his face only to run away and then accused Great of being in on the conspiracy after already confirming he's not, and I don't understand why they were acting all blushy and awkward in that sex scene rather than leaning into the adrenaline high for a more sultry tone. They have been on one (1) date so the emotional investment is not really tracking for me for two experienced adults, but I can't tell if I am supposed to find this all weird and confusing or just go with it. It feels like the show just wants me to accept the shortcuts and buy into them as a serious romance, so okay I guess!

Speaking of betraying Korn, Great's plan was abysmal. He steals the information from Korn's phone (so considerate of him to spell out his criminal conspiracy including names and locations in one convenient text chain), tells Tyme everything without any knowledge of what his brother did, then walks right into an active hostage situation in his designer whites and shows his face to all Korn's goons. Korn is gonna know you did this, bro! Do you care?

It seems that Nan has a friend who was killed in a similar fashion to Tyme's parents, though I'm still curious how they connected and came up with this plan.

I still got nothing on this Lukwa connection. Why are she and Great the only two experiencing this phenomenon, and why did they see each other in this liminal space?

Also noting that there were several sex scenes this episode and no condoms or lube anywhere. I guess this show only depicts safe and realistic sex when they have a sponsor paying them.

[empressofthewind]

i feel like this is one part of Light's plan that a lot of people overlook when considering Mello's intentions in kidnapping Takada, but in my opinion, it's the one major clue that indicates what he could have been thinking. Light deliberately had Mikami "kill" someone in front of Gevanni so that Near would believe the notebook was real. i couldn't find it stated anywhere, but i believe it's meant to be implied that Mikami talking to himself about the Shinigami was also deliberate - hence why he was obvious enough about it that Rester could lip-read. either way, there was definitely at least one obvious clue that Near and his team missed.

we know for a fact that Lidner fed back all the information about Near's investigation except Mikami's identity, which would include details like Mikami killing someone in public and openly talking about the Shinigami to seemingly no one. so, we know that Mello is well aware of this. Near made an error on the basis that he was too focused on confirming what he already suspected (Mikami's identity as X-Kira) and finalising the details of his ending plan. a piece of evidence such as Mikami using the notebook in public would, to him, be viewed as validation of his deductions, not as new insight to be critically analysed on its own. Mello, on the other hand, did not have this same preoccupation.

Mello had much less personal investment in Light and Near's plans, and much less on his plate without as many eyes looking to him for answers. all he had to focus on was the information he was provided with at any given time. this gives him ample opportunity to consider the facts from an objective point of view, and put the pieces together sometime between December 21st (the day Mikami killed someone in front of Gevanni) and January 25th (the day he announced to Lidner "i guess i'm going to have to do it"). it gives him ample opportunity, too, to realise that the only way to expose the true location of the notebook is for someone to throw themselves into the firing line. his name is already out there, which makes him the perfect candidate.

there's one last piece of evidence that confirms it for me:

THIS line in particular is what seals the deal. we know for a fact that Mello and Near are designed to be the two halves of L. Near says it himself - he and Mello were not capable enough to surpass L on their own, but together, they could. it makes the most sense that Near's win would be the product of Mello catching an error that he couldn't. Near missed this crucial detail by himself, but L as a collective noticed it, because Mello is just as much a part of L as Near is.

[thefandomenchantress]

Gahhhh I love sharks. Sharks are so cool. And that makes Desmond so cool.

I wouldn't call myself a shark expert or anything, but I'm so happy they're using a shark as his motif because there's so many things you can do with it.

First of all, I firmly believe that he's not going to be a culprit, or if he is, it won't be out of malicious intent. That's because of the most obvious but also one of my favorite parts about sharks, which is that they have a bad reputation and are accused of being mean and bloodthirsty, when they actually aren't.

Sharks rarely attack humans, and when they do, it's almost always because they think you're a seal or something. More vending machines kill people than sharks do a year. In fact, COWS kill more people than sharks do a year. And COCONUTS!!! Sharks only manage to kill around 5 humans per year. But unfortunately, a certain movie tricked people into thinking that wasn't the case...stares at Jaws accusingly.

Which perfectly leans into how Desmond was suspected in the trial, because of his whole talent being sharpshooting and him having weapons in his room. Despite the fact his room was unguarded for long periods of time, people were immediately suspicious of him, and with a talent like his, I wouldn't be surprised if that continues to happen during trials. They'd ask, how did the killer do this to the victim (or crime scene)? And the answer would often be: Well, if they had Desmond's talent or one of his weapons...

Personally, I think I'm probably on the victim side for Desmond so far, just because I've read about people overhunting sharks to the point that a lot of shark species (40%!) are close to extinction. This is for quite a few reasons, but many places still fail to properly monitor the hunting of sharks, only exasperating the problem. Maybe someone will kill him because they think he's a threat in some way? Or, in an ironic turn of events, Desmond, who is guarding the only one he trusts, is left unguarded himself? Or maybe not. He's also a good survivor pick, I like him.

And his friendship with Eloise...At first, I thought that their friendship was cool but not great, but I'm REALLY starting to love them as a duo. The shark, who has a bad reputation despite not having bad intentions, and the swan, who despite being known as elegant, can actually be pretty violent. Especially when they're protecting something...Like their best friend...

(Honestly if Eloise killed to protect Desmond it'd be so cool. I'd be so down for them covering for each other no matter what it'd be so fun. And people would be all mad at Desmond, who would ask if he was just supposed to let his best friend die because of him and--).

They guard each other in a way, since sharks can often symbolize protection (+his secret), and the stuff I rambled about above for Eloise. They're just cool together.

A few facts that could be used in a Desmond killer/victim situation:

-Sharks can sense electricity (well, sort of)

-They don't have vocal chords, so they can't make noises like dolphins or other animals do

-They can see pretty well in the dark

(Then again, there was already a blackout so I'm not sure they'll ever have another culprit use darkness to their advantage, and electrocution was also already used, so...I guess I'll just take him knowing stuff about tasers as a reference to the electricity)(But hey, Desmond somehow being silenced during a murder isn't off the table).

So anyways the point is, sharks are cool as fuck and so is Desmond. His design rocks, his chill demeanor is always welcome, and overall I just really like him and his shark motif.

[daytaker]

Congrats on 250 followers! ^_^ Could you do the 'only one bed' trope with Lucifer?

At long last, I come bearing a drabble. Thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoy!

The Puppetmaster

Ship: Lucifer/Reader Genre: Humor and fluff Word Count: 825 CW: Dubcon but it's cuddling? Also (joking) mentions of peeing as a kink. I'm sorry I'm like this.

[Part of my 250 Followers Mini Event!]

You were suspicious from the start, because it wasn’t like Lucifer not to plan ahead.

Now, you’re not even suspicious. There was no way that Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride, would be spooning you if he didn’t absolutely intend to. His brothers? You could buy any of them claiming they just grabbed onto you in their sleep, or at least accept the room for reasonable doubt. But Lucifer? Never. Not in a thousand years. This was intentional. This was premeditated. This was planned.

You should have known this was going to happen.

You did know, actually. You would have been fully prepared if not for the mind tricks of Lucifer, the all-seeing Puppetmaster.

“Unfortunately, it seems like our accommodations tonight will be lacking in one respect.” Lucifer nodded apologetically to you as you made your way to the hotel room you’d be cooped up in until morning. He unlocked the door, and the moment you stepped inside, you saw the problem: the single queen-size bed, and nary so much as a sofa to serve as a substitute.

“It’s…fine,” you’d said, trying to brush it off as insignificant, even as your instincts began whispering to you that something was amiss. “It’s just for one night, and I trust you not to pull anything weird.”

Lucifer smiled at you when you said that. Not a kind, appreciative smile. No, it was the smile of the wise man humoring the fool. It made you uneasy.

“...Lucifer,” you said in a warning tone you normally reserved for Mammon.

“Hm? What is it?” He was taking his pajamas out of his suitcase, and his voice and expression were so nonchalant—dull, even—that you started to second guess yourself on that look you thought he gave you.

“Uh… I was just going to ask to use the bathroom before you step in to change,” you said, thinking to yourself what a nice save that was. Lucifer bowed his head and politely gestured for you to proceed.

…Oh, he would gaslight you into thinking you hadn’t seen anything, all to serve his twisted, demonic ends of cuddling you when you least expected it, at a time when you’d wake up, dazed and with a full bladder and no escape in sight. In fact, he probably made that initial, wolfish expression for the exact purpose of then playing innocent so convincingly that you’d stop suspecting him. He was just playing mind games with you at this point. He was toying with you.

As the two of you climbed into bed for the night, you each kept respectfully to your own sides. After a brief and awkward goodnight, he turned off the light, and you laid awake and stared at the ceiling.

Why…was there just one bed?

The question wouldn’t stop nagging at you.

Lucifer didn’t book this room in advance. The circumstances that led you here were unexpected delays that meant you couldn’t make it home at a reasonable hour. But… But…

Would Lucifer allow this to happen if he didn’t want it to? No! Absolutely not! Lucifer normally would have taken the chance of delays into account in his travel plans. He would have been prepared for this eventuality.

More than that though. In what sane world would Lucifer allow himself to be subjected to the humiliation of sharing a bed with you for any reason that didn’t include his deliberate, conscious choice? In which case, what was he pulling right now? You didn’t really think he was going to attempt anything truly nefarious, but your unease didn’t go away.

Nor should it have.

It’s about five o’clock in the morning, you need to pee, and you’re being prevented from making a smooth escape to the bathroom by Pride himself. The Machiavellian bastard. The way he played you like a fiddle. 

Maybe you should just let it out. Maybe that would teach him. 

But what if he knows about that too? What if this is all playing into his hand? He’s not into that, is he? What if he is? What if this entire scenario was orchestrated carefully from the beginning to get you to this point, where you’re trapped in his arms and feeling spiteful enough to wet the bed?

You feel a huff of breath behind your ear, then you hear the low pitched grunt of a baritone-voiced demon waking up.

“Lucifer!” you hiss.

“Mm?” He releases you, stretching his arms over his head calmly. “Good morning. Did you rest well?”

“Why were you hugging me?” You shoot an accusatory glare at him. You know about the piss kink. You have your ammunition locked and loaded.

“Because you’re lovely and warm, and I enjoyed the proximity. I hope I didn’t offend you.” He meets your gaze with an expression of such good-natured and genuine affection that your heart almost comes unmoored.

It’s a masterstroke. You have been defeated. Red-faced and groaning, you slip out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom.

[acrobattack]

bliss redesign based off one I made in my teens

thought process + various other bits and bobs under the cut

I was 15 and annoyed by everything that moved when this character first came out, so in my own head I was very much making a Point with this redesign. Hence, I made very minimal changes. I wanted to work with what was already there and basically just make the existing design more thought-through. Little breakdown ahead (keeping in mind i myself am very much An Amateur who doesn’t know shit and am just ranting about my opinions and i also haven’t seen a single second of the 2016 reboot so i don’t know much about Bliss to begin with)

1. one of my Biggest pet peeves with Bliss is that the powerpuff girls each have bangs that are simple, memorable, and iconic while also being unique from each other and being reminiscent of irl little girls hairstyles. It’s very neat and clever and I like it a lot

and then Bliss has this confusing jumble of shapes that looks like it changes in style halfway across her forehead

i have absolutely no idea what the intent is here. My only guess is maybe it’s meant to look weird on purpose like she was trying to cut it herself or something (I suspect it’s something like that since she seems to have normal looking bangs as a little kid from what I can see) but it doesn’t really come off that way if that’s the case. It just looks like baby’s first PPG OC where you Understand that it’s meant to be hair and that it is made out of shapes but have 0 understanding of hairstyle or character design in general. Heck I might have put this exact hairline on a character in the past at the age of like 8

So in my redesign she’s got 5 even notches across her bangs, not thee most exciting change but it does the job I think. It is pretty reminiscent of Blossom but they look different enough from each other that I wasn’t too worried about it

2. low-hanging fruit time, Bliss’s hair color is horrible on the eyes. I’m bewildered at the decision to do this, especially since there is just so much of it, I struggle to think of how she could exist in any scene without hogging all the viewer’s attention constantly. That said, I understand they wanted her to have an unnatural hair color to really signal that she is a Fresh new Teen character from the late 2010’s, which is. Whatever, that’s fine, so she gets purple hair now. I kept the streak for the same reason, especially since she’s got a lot of hair, so no harm in a little extra interest in there.

I also learned recently that her hair glows sometimes? which i did Not know when first drawing her but well i think the darker color helps anyway. It adds some contrast for when she’s normal vs when she’s glowing and makes the latter appear more,, idk threatening or powerful or whatever the mood generally is when she’s doing that.

I did re-add that toothpaste blue to her eyelids though. I like to think it’s also the color of her lasers. It’s a cute color, just not as like 70% of this character’s palette

3. real talk I was drawing this from memory and didn’t mean to change the way her hair flares out from her head. realistically I think the original is fine, maybe just a little boring but fine, so that part of the redesign was an accident. Only thing is, it’s in the exact same position in every screenshot I’ve seen? It doesn’t seem to whip around when she’s flying or anything which looks weird and probably looks weirder in motion, especially since it takes up so much space onscreen. Idk it’s a strange decision, esp since the original show liked to use the ppg’s hair to emphasize their movement, so I’d just bring more movement into her hair. I mean if nothing else it’d make her look cooler.

very very rough little visual of what I mean

I also ended up making it shorter in my redesign—again, not really intentional, but I think it’s better that it eats up a little less of her silhouette

4. Her headband is largely the same, I didn’t hate the idea of her having an accessory, so I just toned down the colors. I’m not personally a fan of the powder blue and that pink heart is very bright and just doesn’t go with the rest of her (once again the color of her hair is doing it no favors). I also moved the heart over. Not necessarily needed I think, but I feel like it reads quicker as a headband and not a weird crown that way+introduces some asymmetry into her design that I think is nice.

5. my biggest gripe other than her bangs are her hips. I’m not against adding anatomy to this character design to make her read visually as older than the girls, but it’s so awkwardly done and distracting. I feel like it even interferes with her line of action more often than not (which is not helped by her unmoving hair).

Part of the issue is she still has the teeny tiny torso, just… with those square-ish hips slapped on, which makes her legs look all gangly and stretched out. I tried to balance out the proportions more in my redesign, as well as change the hips to a flared skirt. I think it helps differentiate her from the girls and still implies hips underneath, it just also functions as a less clunky transition from her torso to her legs.

Lengthening her torso also allows the stripe to look more like a belt above the skirt, which I think helps to sell her as “similar, but not the same” from the ppg

6. Her leggings(? Idk Im not a fashion person) aren’t a bad idea I think. like a more mature version of the girls’ stockings, but I think the white makes them look really distracting. It would help to make them a darker color I think, but since I wanted to keep them reminiscent of the girls’ socks I kept them white and just shortened them.

7. Not really sure what Bliss is wearing on her feet. I think they’re Mary Janes, but they’re drawn a bit different from the girls’ and I honestly think it’s too babyish a shoe for her to wear. I’m not sure what she’s actually wearing in my redesign either honestly, but the goal was just to make them look like the girls’ Mary Janes while clearly being something different.

8. Uh her signature color is something I’ve contemplated changing a lot but to be real I think it’s fine. I feel it was a very bad idea from a marketing standpoint because people were hype about Bunny and would obviously be mad they didn’t get her once the character actually dropped (and in the long-run she would just end up being overshadowed by the character everyone has already assigned that color to) but I’m personally not bugged by her being purple beyond that. If I were to draw them together though I think Bunny would have a more pinky shade of purple and Bliss leans more blue.

Loosely on the same topic, because of Bliss I’ve had a running headcanon that “only child” types of powerpuffs tend to come out purple. Kind of like how trios tend to have a red, blue, and green. It’s a fun little piece of fake lore to rotate around in my brain

Anyway with all that out of the way, here’s some redesigns I decided to have some fun with. Wasn’t being too precious about recognizability or simplicity or anything like that, but I did run out of steam partway through. There’s also one based off Whoopass Bell bc idk, why not

Finally, here’s some OCs I only ever drew once before out of a desire to give Bliss her own teen girl archetypes to form a team with. This is Bee and Beetle, who I’ll probably definitely forget about again immediately after posting this

[flock-of-cassowaries]

So my hot take on NBC Hannibal is that is is a remarkably and relentlessly cynical story, in that every. single. character. abuses the power vested in the virtue of their profession.

Like, all the cops, all the doctors, all the psychiatrists.

Almost all the murderers, too - the bee lady is killing clients, as is the mushroom man, and the social worker; Randall Tier and Mason Verger are using the tools / items available to them from their jobs to commit murder; and Tobias Bunch and Garrett Jacob Hobbs are transforming parts of their victims into materials they use / sell at work.

The only characters I can think of who are not show to be ludicrously unethical at their jobs are:

1. The pharmacist-colleague of the Mushroom Man whom Jack inexplicably screams at;

2. Will’s long-suffering s2 defence lawyer;

3. Georgia Mädchen and Abigail Hobbs (no jobs, Literally Minors™️);

4. The child-kidnapper from Oëuf (no job); and

5. The Angel-Maker (deus diablus ex brain-tumor).

…but of the law-enforcement / law-enforcement-adjacent characters, we have:

- Hannibal

- Jack (routinely flouts rules and does things that endanger his subordinates and which are probably illegal; which, points for verisimilitude, I guess)

- Zeller (leaks info to Freddie Lounds)

- Beverley (a bit more of a stretch, but I’m fairly certain showing an accused serial killer / mental patient confidential information on other crimes isn’t okay; and she definitely broke into a suspect’s house without a warrant)

- Chilton (the most unethical psychiatrist since the CIA stopped funding the Montreal Experiments)

- Alanna (starts out straight and narrow, but becomes willing to take on the role of her ex’s keeper - incredibly unethical for a psychiatrist, especially with a patient being held in custody)

- Will (again, starts out reasonably ethical, but then slides into such ends-justify-the-means nonsense as [1] defiling corpses; [2] traumatizing museum staff with defiled corpses; [3] knowingly eating human flesh; [4] warning a serial killer of his imminent apprehension; [5] attempting to use various serial killers as tools to kill and/or bait other serial killers; and [6] attempting to extrajudicially execute a serial killer [via cliff]. )

And like, technically, you could just read it as “Hannibal’s influence corrupts those around him”; that certainly seems to be the case with Alanna and Will.

(And arguably, that is how we’re supposed to read Jack, but… as the self-appointed president of the Jack Crawford Hate Committee - fuck Jack.)

I think Hannibal would certainly find it flattering to read it that way. It would appeal very much to his narcissism.

It’s also quite possible that was the writing team’s authorial intent, too.

But that is absolutely not how people work.

Hannibal would’ve encountered people who were just stubbornly immovable in their refusal to endanger patients / subordinates / whatever.

And people who just found him creepy.

People who got a bad vibe the first time they met him, and just refused to ever reassess their first impression - not particularly fair, in most cases, but there definitely are people who operate that way.

And sure, perhaps Hannibal would have just killed some of them, but… we never see that happen. It’s just everyone in Toronto Baltimore, in every profession, is apparently either just as laughably crooked as the real RCMP, or as corruptible as soft cheese on a hot day.

Tangential postscript:

This inspired me to read the Wikipedia article on “Controversies surrounding the RCMP”, and while I will not get into the horrifying details, this sentence made me laugh out loud:

“A subsequent public inquiry concluded that the RCMP was at fault, showing a lack of professionalism…”

Which like… yeah. Technically true.

Sort of like saying that Andrew Tate lacks a firm grasp of intersectional feminism.

But not incorrect, per se.

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

Reaper! Ghost (Part 2 of ?)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

You both agree that your being able to perceive him is impossible.  

He shouldn’t be anything to you but a distant future, an errant possibility when you cross the street, or, at worst, someone to curse at when a loved one is taken away.

But, despite all of it, you see him.  It should be impossible, but you can see him.  So that’s what you work with.    

And despite it all, he doesn’t struggle to convince you of who he is.  He doesn’t need to.  With the way he looks, with how he speaks…nothing about him is human or normal.  

Most importantly, nothing is normal about the way the doctors and nurses walk through him.  When you’re told about all your injuries, your surgery, the scars you’ll carry on your body from the accident, he averts his eyes, then walks to the window looking lost in thought.   

What does Death think about, you wonder.  And why is he here?

But you also have questions.

Whatever roils within him is kept suppressed, and when he answers you, it’s with gruffness and stoicism, barely speaking in full sentences.  He clears his throat a lot and his voice sounds hoarse.  

Disuse, you guess.  Who befriends Death, after all? 

He tells you that he wears dark jeans and a hoodie because he can, and that carrying a scythe is impractical.  He tells you he doesn’t know what comes after you die—it’s not like he can ask anyone—and his job is only to reap, and that the kiss of Death is real.   

That one makes you pause, then blush.  You hope it escapes his attention.

In hushed, stilted tones, you tell him about yourself.  He doesn’t say much, but his dark eyes are keen and sharp, and they hold your attention absolutely.  He doesn’t look away from you, not once, and at some point during the hours you speak, he sits on the visitor’s chair beside you.  An action so human, so normal, that it makes you falter mid-sentence.

You ask him, tentative and shy, if he’ll take his mask off.  He refuses immediately.  You’re not on his list, he insists.  He doesn’t know what would happen if you were to see the face of Death.  It’s safer this way.

You understand his hesitation,  you suppose, but it doesn’t mean you like it.

Over the next few days while you’re in hospital, you develop a tentative…friendship?  You’re not sure.  He’s strange—he doesn’t speak much, seeming to prefer silence, but he tries to answer any question you can think of.  And you think of a few.

Have you met any famous people?

What are the funniest last words you’ve heard?

Did you reap the first Homo Sapien?

That last question makes him jerk back in his seat.  He goes quiet for a while, looking down at his hands in his lap.  Having slowly become accustomed to what you affectionately refer to in your mind as Death’s Necessary Quiet Time, you pick up your discarded book.  You’re only through a few pages before he clears his throat.

“I wasn’ always…this.”  That's all he says for a moment, and you put your book down slowly.  “Used to–used to be someone.  A person.”

He doesn’t say anything else, but his shoulders drop and he leans back in his chair.  You suspect that it’s all he’s going to say on the matter, and you nod absentmindedly. It’s as you’d guessed.  

He has certain undeniably human mannerisms.  He blinks when you say something he didn’t expect.  He’d become unnaturally tense, jaw tight and a vein throbbing in his forehead when you’d hesitantly told him what you remembered from your accident.  Most human of all, though, is how is with you.  How his fingers twitch when he looks at your own.  How intently he looks at your lips.  How, despite being Death himself, the kind of force of nature that escapes comprehension with how absolute it is, he leaves the room to give you privacy when you need it.          

“Simon,” he says, suddenly,  looking as shocked as you do when the words leave him.  “My name is Simon.”

“Simon,” you whisper back, and he closes his eyes at the sound.  

[prince-liest]

i know you didn't mean anything bad by it, but it really discouraged me to see you rb that anti-reader-insert post. i write and enjoy both reader-insert and shipfic (my 2016 baby-in-fandom roots were in shipfic, but i'm pretty active in the reader-insert community as well these days). i really look up to you as both a current med student would to a resident (i'm an m2) and a writer would to a more-experienced/established writer, so i guess seeing you agree with a post that disparages a part of the fanfic community that we both engage in made me feel upset.

i definitely understand where people come from when they complain about xreader fics flooding the tags. i've felt that exasperation and annoyance of scrolling through the tags both on ao3 and tumblr, searching for fanart or shipfics of my favorite characters, only to be inundated with reader-insert works that i'm not in the mood to read. so, i get it.

i guess my point is: i look up to you. i really enjoy your writing. and because of my parasocial connection to you (i.e., enjoyment of your fandom takes and writing), it hurt my feelings that you seem to hold a pretty negative opinion about a side of the fandom writing community that i happen to pour a lot of myself into.

please don't feel pressured to respond to this at all-- residency is hard enough without some random anon on the internet nagging at you about some random reblog that is not nearly as important as patient care or saving lives. i don't even really know what the purpose of telling you this was; i'm not trying to change your opinion about reader-insert or anything like that. i think i just wanted to let you know how i felt seeing your reblog, with no expectations that you do anything with that information /gen. but yeah. i hope you're able to get some rest and take some time for yourself soon, and i look forward to continuing to your fics in the future.

Hey, there anon! First of all, it may make you feel better to know that I actually have absolutely nothing against x reader fics at a baseline. It's not my thing, I don't read it, but I don't have enough of an opinion on it to dislike it. I'm a big proponent of "write what you want" and while I've never written x reader content, I've roleplayed plenty of canon x OC ships back in the day, and write a lot of stuff that needs the dead dove tag. This post, to my understanding and in my intent, was meant to express humorous frustration with the ongoing issue specifically of a lot of x reader fics (particularly in the last several months, I suspect either because of Tiktok or due to Twitter's downward spiral) being tagged with irrelevant tags. I've actually had to ask on multiple posts something like "Why is this tagged with [canon ship]?"

Most people have kindly removed the tag and explained that they thought it was good exposure and didn't realize that wasn't how things work on Tumblr, which is great, but it's still frustrating that it's hard to scroll through a lot of tags without seeing lengthy and explicit x reader fics that are either tagged with unrelated ships/characters/fandoms, or undertagged with blockable x reader tags.

Even if I did dislike x reader, though, I just want to emphasize to you: I really appreciate that you look up to me and I'm really happy that I'm able to provide some encouragement to you in the form of someone with a similar creative hobby on the same career path, but also, my opinions on matters of personal taste really don't matter. I am, at the end of the day, A Random Person On The Internet Who Has A Blog, and I encourage you to look at opinions of mine that grate on you and think: "Eh. Just another random person I don't happen to agree with. Whatever, I guess." and move on, because in the long run this will be more fair to both yourself and me. There are indeed actually popular but harmless parts of fandom that I'm growing to dislike a little bit, and it feels strange to be unable to casually refer to or joke about that without being worried that it will hurt someone's feelings that I don't personally like the same thing they do. This is actually some of why I'm on Tumblr and not Twitter - the parasocial issues tend to be stronger on there! I confess that I don't really know exactly what to do about this problem yet, but I'm going to endeavor to not censor myself (as long as I'm not being a dick, ofc) while also encouraging people to not put me up on too much of a pedestal.

At any rate, I'll clarify in the tags of the post what I meant by my reblog, and I hope this at least offered some reassurance to you!

[midnight1nk]

well, dear fellows, I've spent days on blinding spectrograms and the song stuck in my freakin head for it being on loop. And with the next episode just dropping hours away, I thought to share this.

Did I really do this? Yes.

Was this completely pointless? Oh, absolutely—

Picking Apart the Flareglow Audio

⚠️ DISCLAIMER IN INTRO POST ⚠️

CONTEXT

if you somehow did not see what was going on and probably questioning "what the hell is flareglow?" (exactly like Cube tweeted), I'll give a quick rundown:

News of a new song "Flareglow", appearing on the official SMG4 artist page on multiple platforms (spotify, apple music/itunes, iheart radio, amazon music, and others) on Jan 4.

The song itself (here's my basic analysis) sounds nothing like the Team has done before in every way you can imagine, from the gmod-made cover art to AI-sounding lyrics

fans started to speculate rather or not this was another hack or if it was an intentional by the Team, who have not confirmed anything about it. y'know it's bad when casual viewers are pointing it out

then there's people like me that suspected that the Team was scheming for some future thing

Ben tweeted about it (the first one by the Team as far as i know)

Cube was the next one to bring it up AND on that same day, the song gets slowly taken down by the multiple platforms it was on

a week later giving out a comment to clarify (quote on quote) this as well as the SMG4 Steam strangely changing its username (ft. Shadow reposting)

Now, you are valid in what you want to believe here while i suspect Cube with every inch of my mind palace. and since you're reading this...

AUDIO INVESTIGATION

Clues and codes can be hidden in multiple ways and one of those is through audio files, most commonly found in video games.

If you play a coded audio file, it might sound distorted and weird. But if you manipulate it as easily as putting the audio in reverse, you might've found a clue. Images can also be hidden and be seen through a spectrogram. This is considered one of the more fragile ways of coding since any small alterations to the file could change the image.

Before it got taken down, i managed to snag a copy and send it through a visualizer. ofc the image can't be seen right away and have to toy with the settings for it to work.

Admittedly, this was the most frustrating part of the whole investigation, constantly zooming in and out of the spectrogram preview, going back and forth to some classic photoshop photo manipulation. Hours and hours. So here's what i got:

zoomed in i found what looked like an "e" in 39 seconds (yeah not sure what past Ink was thinking there)

having it squished kinda forms a word but it's not clear enough to distinguish

(take it with a chunk of salt that it said "Princess", well i found the letter "P" ok)

photo manipulation cleared to "a image" of a series of almost identical corridors

honestly it could just be nothing lol

yeah i might be reaching at this point, starting to see things too. I really did try everything, including using a backwards copy of it to use it as a filter on top. Like I said, it may not be nothing and that's okay. At least I gave it a shot. i know it must be disappointing.

But it's not over just yet. Have you found it strange that the title "flareglow" isn't in the lyrics itself? Even knowing what the lyrics may be about, it doesn't make sense. "A glint of bouncing light, can be captured on camera" hmmmm.

"But some songs are like that?"

True, but knowing the Team and the Steam mystery going on, yeah no. Not to mention the song being a one-sided convo perspective AND a theory that 4 may turn out like Leggy and be pushed to be an assistant to Mr Puzzles due to a grudge. Clues based on 2 of Ben's tweets,

4 being the second minion. Hence doing the idea of the copied spectrogram.

Then there was the other idea, what if there's 2 songs? we got one half of the code, there might be another.

I guess I should clarify: maybe "Flareglow" is the title for song 2 while the song 2 title is the true title for this one.

Anyway, it would be too early for us to figure it out.

if there is, we need to be on the lookout for that one bc overlapping them might show the full image.

Two halves of the same coin :)

close enough, welcome back 4 & Puzzles being narrative foils

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

well uh this was something.

But for real tho, I have absolutely no idea what's gonna happen and this is just for the sillies 😋 either way thanks chat for listening to my ramblings for the past couple of days, I must've looked insane.

Now, that's a lesson to learn: sometimes it's okay to overanalyze stuff as nourishment for theorist brains and for me to morph into matpat

If anything does come up, I'll be there with everything I have and can totally count you guys being there too 💙

and on that note,

oh my god i'm never gonna listen to that song ever again not even a single second this better be a joke bc i swear i will crawl through the screen and into my spotify account and burn the entire platform on sight and maybe strangle that fuckin cover art while i'm at it as my body's decomposing into pixels watch me—

[hotasfahrenheit]

well pals, what i suspected was inevitable has come to pass sooner than expected and episode 5 of 1000 Years Old has already delivered us an episode with no new umbrellas.

i thought we had one-

-the yellow and orange Giant Porch Umbrella on the right side of the screen, but while i was looking through my screenshots because of some other stuff i wanna say about this show, i noticed that umbrella was definitely in a shot from episode 3 that was part of that episode's umbrella post.

this was after they'd started working on getting their ducks in a row to open the shop, so i'm gonna count it as one of Pun's umbrellas (since i just assume everything on the roof is his now) but i won't count it as new for this episode. so the show count goes up, but this episode count is sadly 0.

HOWEVER something we did get this episode is a noticable shift in Pun's umbrella behavior, which correlates to this episode's lack of new umbrella usage in general- he was out of the building and away from home multiple times in this episode with no umbrella. he has explained to Yoh that he uses the umbrellas to help himself stay cool, but this man claims the sun is too hot while constantly wearing sweaters, and is seen regularly taking his umbrellas out at night. i feel like it's pretty clear that his umbrella usage is not just to ward off the sun, and that his umbrellas give him a sense of security. they're emotional support umbrellas, necessary for going out into a world that he has lived in for hundreds of years but clearly still doesn't completely understand.

what else did he do multiple times this episode tho?

leave his umbrellas in Yoh's hands, whether Yoh was carrying the umbrella for him, or just using it while Pun was nearby.

we've seen Yoh using the umbrellas before, but idk this episode it felt more important and pointed, as Pun is making his intents with Yoh more clear and Yoh is also figuring out how he feels.

episode 2 had them on the roof using umbrellas together, but Pun had given Yoh a separate umbrella to use, where this episode, Pun was obviously comfortable letting Yoh have the only umbrella in the area.

his trust in Yoh is growing, their relationship is developing, they're the cutest?

umbrellas as a love language, who could have guessed it.

this episode umbrella count: 0 😭

total series umbrella count: 24 🌟✨

(check my pun's umbrella catalogue tag for previous weeks of umbrella posting!)

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Villain's Coffee Shop part 13

Warnings: none, really, this one's mostly passive

Three days passed. Three days of waffling, of thinking it over again and again.

Hero was giving him the chance to save lives with his powers, instead of take them. Despite the dark nature of his particular gifts. He was so indecisive and uncertain it was driving him crazy. There was a reason he was Villain - and it was because the world had rejected him. Did he really want to open himself up to potentially getting hurt again?

But... if there was even a slight chance...

Villain downed the last of his fifth cup of coffee for the day, and it wasn't even noon yet. It was the weekend, and his shop was closed. Giving him plenty of time to get lost in his thoughts, to weigh the pros and cons of taking up Hero's offer. Of giving this whole 'being a hero' thing a try.

He felt a little guilty remembering how he'd hurt Hero recently when the control over his powers had slipped. Would she even want him to join the hero team after that? He hoped he hadn't scared her too badly with his flashy show of power during their last encounter.

Villain jumped and turned at hearing something clatter to the floor and saw Mocha hop off one of the counters to land with a light thump next to the phone he'd knocked off it. He rolled his eyes with a laugh and walked over, petting Mocha on the head before scooping up his fallen phone.

"Yeah, yeah, I know I'm procrastinating,'" he sighed affectionately, and scooped the scruffy cat up in his free hand, helping Mocha climb to perch on his shoulders, draped across the back of his neck like a purring scarf. It was his favorite spot to lounge while Villain worked when there weren't customers around. It kept him out of the way and freed Villain's hands up to work, while Mocha was still able to get what he wanted too -- to stay near his owner at all times.

Villain waited until Mocha had settled down around his neck before unlocking his phone and going to type in a phone number. He hesitated with a finger hovering over the call button, chewing his lip. "What do you say, Mocha? Should I do it?"

Mocha booped his cheek with a wet nose, and Villain smiled.

"All right, guess I'm trying something new…”

-------------------------------------------------------

The call went surprisingly well, and Hero spoke as if nothing had happened between them -- as if Villain hadn't attacked her in his own coffee shop when she'd come to speak with him about the job offer.

But eventually, the meeting point was set. Villain half-suspected it might be a trap, so he made sure to be cautious when he arrived, in full civilian clothes. He wasn't wearing any facial-molding makeup -- scars out on full display. He wouldn't waste time with an organization that wouldn't accept him for who he was, hideous face and all. And he brought Mocha with him. The clever cat went practically everywhere with him, anytime he wasn't on-duty fighting heroes in the streets. This was no exception.

Mocha was also a frighteningly good judge of character, so it was convenient to bring him as a test to check out whoever his future employer was going to be. Villain would be able to tell from how Mocha reacted alone if someone had bad intentions. And he wouldn't associate himself with those who would judge a three-legged cat anyway.

Hero was already waiting for him when he arrived, standing outside a tall building Villain knew belonged to Agency. Being so close to the enemy's headquarters put him on-edge, but he firmly reminded himself that he was here to play nice.

Villain glanced briefly at Hero's wrist, which was wrapped in medical dressings.

"Still not healed?" Villain commented as he approached behind her.

Hero whipped around, startled, then relaxed at seeing who it was. She rubbed her arm sheepishly, glaring. "You fractured my wrist, jerk. Of course it's not healed yet," she spat.

"I suppose I do deserve that," Villain muttered.

Hero arched an eyebrow, glancing down at the black cat sitting next to him. "You... brought your cat?" She questioned.

Villain didn't bat an eye when he answered. "Yes. I did."

Hero's nose wrinkled in confusion, but she didn't argue with it, spinning around and gesturing beckoningly to him. "Come with me, I'll show you to the office you'll be interviewed in."

Villain strode after her, Mocha trotting next to him like a dog. Such a clingy little creature. But they shared a close bond, so it made sense that wherever Villain was, his cat could be found too.

Hero took them up an elevator to the fifth story, leading the way until they reached a large, empty office. There were two chairs on one side of a desk in the middle, and one chair on the other. Villain took a seat, and Mocha immediately hopped up into his lap. Hero took the chair next to him.

“My boss should arrive shortly,” she announced reassuringly.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222

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