#i guess I need a pet that's all
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#it's Friday and I'm in my pyjamas since like 4 PM...what a life.#now my stomach decided to kill me so I just collapsed on the couch and then my brain started to be self destructive too and now I'm sad#feeling kinda lonely#i love isolating myself and solitude more than anything but sometimes I just want those small things#like someone who would take me for a walk like I'm a fucking dog#or watching movie not on my own#cooking or baking for someone#and I'm trying to get over it because I'll probably never get this stuff in my life#i miss being around my family because those are the only people i feel comfortable with#all friendships i have feel like chores or job interviews#i feel like I can't feel this connection with anyone anymore#i don't share same interests or opinions with my friends anymore#i don't have same life experiences as them#and it's still alright to see them from time to time but I just don't feel the need to be intimate with them#i mean intimate like vulnerable#and I don't fucking know how to make new friends when you're 25 and introverted and little ugly#and I don't even know if I want friends#i guess I need a pet that's all#no I think I just need less free time so that I don't have time to think those things#but you know what I'm still doing good like overall I'm happy with my life#i still feel so fucking grateful for everything i have right now compared what a mess it was just few months ago#not even speaking about one year ago#and two years ago doesn't even feel like me an my life anymore#it feels bad saying it but I'm proud of myself because I did this all by myself#I'm here doing good only because of myself#like I gave myself all this stuff i always wanted#I'm making myself happy for the first time in my life#for the first time in my life I don't fully hate myself... just a little :) sometimes#sometimes I can even feek sorry or forgive my past self but that's still work in progress#i don't know what am I saying anymore this is what happens when I'm with no chores or responsibilities for more than one hour
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Headcanon that Leo really loved to give his family massages growing up. We know that he’s good at them from the episode “You Got Served” and we know he likes spas and relaxation and getting massages himself from when he tried to get these in “Bad Hair Day” and from when Donnie made a tennis ball massage machine in “Smart Lair.”
So I think it’d be cute to think that maybe one day Leo overheard Splinter complaining about a bad back and immediately Leo thinks back to a comic or movie or something he saw where a massage helped so he offers to give one and it actually ends up helping Splinter.
Then April swings by the Lair at a later time and mentions her back hurting because of her backpack from school and Leo’s all like “I gotcha!”
From there, he occasionally manages to convince Donnie to sit for one because Donnie’s shrimp posture does not help him any (Leo pokes fun at how sandpaper-y Donnie’s shell is despite knowing it’s always like that and Donnie smacks him for it.) Donnie usually prefers hand massages instead however as all his typing and inventing adds up over time, and shoulder massages too once he starts wearing his battle shells more. Leo also figures out how to give massages to Raph and Mikey’s shells as well, though it’s a struggle at first to not scratch his hands on Raph’s spikes.
I think since Leo has such bad luck with spas and the like, he tries giving himself massages (though it’s not as helpful.) Like, with how his abilities work his legs are probably always aching from his portal jumping and one foot landings, so maybe he branches past back massages out of a need to help his own aches too. (Though he really wants a shell massage himself, the same way he’d give them…the one time with Donnie’s tennis ball massage machine was but a short moment of what Leo’s been missing out on and what he’ll continue missing out on…)
I don’t know, I just think it’d be cute to think Leo could have honed his massaging skill this way in order to help out his family (and also partially because he wants a massage himself.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#this unironically is a smidge pointing to the medic Leo headcanon too#because massages are really good at relieving pain you didn’t even know you had#not just for backs but for your hands your feet your neck#poor Leo just wants to be the one getting a massage for once in ‘Bad Hair Day’ but no#he’s really good at getting everyone else to chill and rest and relax in general it’s very interesting to see#unironically I wonder if Leo could be really good at meditation so long as you call it relaxation instead#also after the invasion I’d imagine everyone has some aches and pains#ironically enough Leo himself likely has the most from the sheer amount of blunt force trauma and potential broken bones#so it’s sad to think the one who massages best is the one who needs it most alas#imagine a time where Draxum finally manages to get on Leo’s good side and Leo hears him complaining that his cafeteria job gives back pains#and Leo’s like UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL HELP#I also like to think that for all they tease Raph for his ‘chasm’ Leo sometimes will massage Raph’s face#and when he does Raph finally relaxes enough to look his age#when Mikey starts growing hair he loves when Leo massages his scalp esp if he’s helping to wash it too#mayhem doesn’t like Leo much at first but QUICKLY warms up to him because of how good his pets are#smart lair shows they all canonically love massages actually I was reminded! so this makes even more sense with that too
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as much as i dislike the dialogue option that leads to this scene, i genuinely appreciate gale's response. it is easy to overlook what he is actually trying to convey here and is instead commonly dismissed as him being "overdramatic" or as a display of his bruised ego.
player: it was fine. gale: i see. gale: well, fine is... fine. nobody weeps because the weather is fine. no monarchs were overthrown because their ruling was fine. no artworks were burned because they were not masterpieces, but merely fine. player: would you have rather i lied? gale: the dignified thing for me to say is 'no. of course not. forthrightness before all.' but honestly? yes... i would have rather you lied. gale: i'm just a man. an imperfect one, with needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel. a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power. gale: perhaps it would be better to not shake such a vessel. gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.
gale is no stranger to introspection. despite having his natural blindspots, he is fully aware of his flaws and imperfections. he lacks an inherent sense of self-preservation, displays impatience on occasion, can be hypocritical, has trouble handling pointed criticism well, and has a tendency to respond in passive aggression if he feels his competence is brought into question. he seeks admiration and is known to not honor his limitations and own safety for the sake of receiving praise.
gale: [...] people have always commented on my confidence, sometimes my over-confidence, and in one particularly cut throat assessment at university - my 'abject and incorrigible self-delusion.'
gale is not blind to how he is perceived by others, nor does he dismiss their conclusions without careful consideration. instead of deflecting he simply takes what they dish out and files it away for later contemplation and inspection.
player: because you acted the idiot. and paid the price for it too. gale: as always, i endeavor to be invigorated by your candour, rather than eviscerated by it. gale: blunt as your summation is - it's correct. i dared to call myself an archmage while acting the apprentice. the hallmarks of a most excellent idiot, unfortunately.
player: i can't say i share the same high opinion of you, gale. gale: always bringing such candour to our conversations. some would think twice about mocking gale of waterdeep, but you just go straight for the gut. nodecontext: playing along, making fun of himself gale: i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities, though i fear my ego can take no more of it tonight. nodecontext: cheerfully accepting the brush off, not taking it personally
needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel.
gale craves as mortals do. for relevance, safety, consideration, loyalty, care, acceptance, and love. he's desperate, he's angry, he's petty and hurt and lonely. he's contradictory, and at times inconsistent. he's afraid, he stumbles, he yearns. if he loves, he does so with all his heart but forgets to extend the same love to himself. he gains understanding only to disregard it later. he is absorbed yet devoted. he expects kindness but is bewildered when it is extended to him in turn. he's neither a perfect colleague, a perfect companion, a perfect lover, nor a perfect husband. he's just another human who's trying to navigate and make sense of the world. who is silently hoping for his soul to be handled with tenderness and care, to finally be seen for who he is —no need for performance or pretense — and to be unconditionally cherished nonetheless.
a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power.
he knows the burden he carries. understanding that even a momentary lapse in judgment could spell catastrophe if he doesn't exert tight control over his emotions at all times. he knows what is at stake should he lose the composure he painstakingly had to master. a mere moment is all it takes. this self-assessment isn't an "indirect threat" intended to subject pressure on tav or solicit pity, it's a stark acknowledgment of the truth. he is a fragile human, housing powers that should've never been his in the first place.
player: unbelievable. did you ever think what would happen if the tadpole got the better of you? gale: every waking moment. every dreaming moment too. but there was no way out.
he is also keenly aware of how his (former) colleagues perceive him, following his fall from grace.
player: bold. few would dare to reduce a goddess to their 'muse.' gale: i am, after all, the villain of the tale.
this line in particular is one i often think about. it makes me wonder about the extent of information gale received from the outside world after locking himself in his tower for an entire year, setting magical wards so no one but tara would be able to enter. did he hear the whispers? ("shunned by the goddess of magic herself, of course, it was only a matter of time before he flew too close to the sun.") were his colleagues ridiculing him, applauding mystra for cutting off the rot at the source? how did he arrive at the assumption that he is perceived as "the villain" and not the victim?
player: you must have been lonely, with only tara for company.. gale: sometimes. but i imposed it upon myself, after all. i set up enough wards to keep an army at bay, never mind the few colleagues who sought to inquire about my welfare.
or is this solely his own harsh judgment of his folly? that there is no chance anyone would meet him with sympathy, kindness and understanding after what he had wrought. he was too greedy, too impatient — selfish in arrogance, ravenous in ambition. letting delusions of grandeur guide him. he brought it all upon himself with his lack of patience. entirely convinced of his success and skill, blind to the possibility of failure. now doomed to drag innocents into the abyss with him. the hallmarks of a villain, right? after all, who would truly believe him that his ambition hid no ill will?
players: by rights. i should kill you. gale: perhaps that is what i deserve, but you deserve no such thing. [...]
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gale dekarios#bg3 meta#another pet peeve of mine is how he is often portrayed in romantic dynamics that readily dismiss his own needs#its always about what he can do for his partner. what he can provide them. its about making him the perfect patient & selfless accessory#that will make all of ther woes and worries go away with his love and devotion alone#his own boundaries and wants aren't nearly as important#if at all#it speaks#fandom critical#(i guess?)
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she was the silliest billy 🥹
#dogs#pets#animals#rip babygirl i love you so so so so much you were better than all of us#jojo#we had to remove all her front teeth not long after we got her bc they were rotted so i have a ton of pics of her sticking her tongue out#she had a sense of humor too btw she was so playful#she was abused in the past so it took her about a full year to trust us but once she did she was so so so loyal and loving#goddd i wanna die i cant believe im like. looking at pictures from two weeks ago where she was running and playful#and in the past week she just. gave up. she just stopped eating and stopped being able to even stand on her own#i had to hold her while she used the bathroom cause she kept losing her balance :(#sorry if this is too gross and upsetting i just. feel like i need to reach out. to anyone#like she was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease with no real chance of recovery several months ago so i should have like#prepared myself. but idk i guess i just had blinders on lol. the vet said his dog lived with it for 4 years before dying#idk. i guess i just thought she could survive longer#pet death#mia.txt#mia.jpg
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Hello Kind Soul 💕
I am trying to evacuate my family from Gaza to safe area to save our lives ASAP 🙏
I Ask if you could support us by share my blog and boost my campaign?
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Stand-With-AlBalawi-Family
If you are generous enough, you can donate any small contribution, it really helps ❤
Of course!
Anyone who can donate, please consider doing so! It looks like they're currently at just under halfway to their goal.
If you're unable to donate, please consider reblogging this so that it might reach someone who can! (And hey, maybe consider reblogging it even if you did!)
Wishing you the best; I don't generally pray, but I will keep you in mine moving forward.
Here's a photo of my cat to hopefully get this more traction (and so I can put this in more tags)
#asks#elbalawi#free palestine#palestine#palestine fundraiser#cats#cat photos#cat pictures#cats of tumblr#catblr#jay.jpg#sappho#my pets#unfortunately I don't have a bank account so all I can do is share the link for now. but hopefully I will be able to return soon with +#+something of more substance. as I've said on another blog here recently: if you're able to show me proof that you've donated here or to +#+any other palestinian relief/evacuation funds and can DM me your proof I am willing to do art for you in some fashion#or if you just want more photos of my cat? I will also leverage those. just whatever it takes to get money goin through these#any tag suggestions are also appreciated#fucked up that I feel like I need to include something in the body of the post to illicit interaction but. what else can i do?#jay.txt#cat#also yes the sign in the back does read ''ceasefire now'' if you can't quite make out enough to guess. i tried to find a photo of her where+#+it's in view; this is the best recent one#i don't know who designed it but i can provide a clearer photo if asked
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animal jam is a lot more fun when you're rich
#seriously notp is making me RICH on ajpw#i can get like. one corruption orb per hour of playing dungeons. the super sweets prizes?? got an alpha after like 5 rounds. got soo many#rares from that too.....#and now i'm like. oh i want to play as a dragon? don't have to wait two weeks to save the sapphires! i can buy it now!!#looking for a cool specific piece of clothing for my outfit? i can just buy it right now!! without worrying about the price!!!#i'm seriously considering buying an alpha. just like. snooping on explorer looking at the different wizard hats for when i sell mines#(i'm not That rich lol)#kind of disappointing anyways. like. it's easy to grind this stuff when you're not a kid but it must take so long for kids to do this!!#most of the people in this game get rich by paying money!! and like#i was always a nm on classic and while they are definitely more pay to play it was like. you could have so much fun and still be poor#play wild it's like. you do get all these features but so much of it is focused on Buying. like the only non purchase stuff i can think of#is crafting ???? and the phantom dungeons.. and the minigames. and talking to people i guess.#but like honestlyyy people only really care about the items and getting items and what items are coming out next month?? and what animals??#what new effects can i get for my pets for my items??? AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH#idk. idk. i know animal jam is far past its glory days and it needs to do this to survive. and i definitely do not want this game to die.#but it is really going full capitalism mode. and i think the content and the players and the devs are really suffering from that. idk.#jamblr#i do really enjoy doing the nonogram puzzles and i absolutely love the dungeons. i'm glad they give me stuff to sell. but man. i kind of ju#t wish it wasn't so much like this yknow#ramblings#bangers
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so dash tag came back this month
#everyone in sparky's wiki comments are making fun of him for liking fidget spinners FUCK all of you he's safe with me#i get to use animal jam tags because it takes place in same universe probably im into the lore i KNOW THINGS shut it#ive never done any “rendered” art before it was scary but his head lightening bolt was AWFUL since i headcanon him as a#patterdale terrier x pug#i guess this also counts as a slight redesign because the original needed a little work i think#can anyone tell i wanted the style to be like littlest pet shop esque#special interest for almost 9 years she is in every breathe i take#animal jam#animal jam classic#animal jam art#ajpw art#aj art#aj#feral art#sparky#jamblr#my art#redesign#ajpw#dash tag#dash tag art#lps#littlest pet shop#lps art#furry art#furry fandom#furry
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Read Fang the Hunter after catching up on idw Sonic and like
Wooo!! Return of Fang, his pursedog jester boytoy, and said boytoy's big buddy!
Also ajsjsjsn I'm this close to retitling this mini series "How to Lose One's Bitches: A Cautionary Tale as to Why Team Hooligan Isn’t a Modern Era Team"
#fang the sniper#fang the hunter#nack the weasel#team hooligan#bark the polar bear#bean the duck#bean the dynamite#beanack#beanbark#fangbean#fangbark#barknack#fangbeanbark#beanbarknack#idw sonic comics#sonic the hedgehog#fang the hunter issue 1#fang the hunter issue 2#i just be ramblin#absnnsjs yeah I still need to figure out better ship names#but like??#The suggestive position? Bean using pet names on Fang?#Bean being like “the only reason we stick with you is because it's fun. you need us. get us a good job or we're gone'#All in all I suppose I kind of expected Bean to have more power in this group partnership than he seems (given how he acted in Archie Sonic#and how he got when Nack wouldn't give him attention)#But I guess it didn't fully hit me until Bean made it clear that he and Bark are the forever duo that only take Fang as their third as long#as Fang gives them attention and excitement#And 'big buddy'?#The big buddy effect is now the spiritual twin of the little buddy effect. Largely the same as the little buddy effect except the 'buddy' in#question is clearly the protector and the muscle
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We had a wind storm this weekend and these two took offense to the wind making Sounds and injured themselves. Artemis (bottom) bruised one side of her face up, but she's acting fine otherwise so she'll probably be back to normal in a few days.
Stan, on the other hand, bruised his left eye socket and was acting Off with a capital O. He's normally not very active, his legs don't work all that great and he can't catch a deep breath because of his messed up ribs and stuff, but he was lethargic and not eating/drinking normally, so I swapped him into Joslin's appt slot today and took him in.
It wasn't my normal vet again, and I told her that Stan is a hot mess, and she felt him up and told me well his abdominal cavity sounds weird, I said yeah he's got messed up air sacs. She goes well, one of his legs is atrophied more than his other, and I said was it his right one because that's the one that was worse as a baby and doesn't work right, and she goes yeah it was the right one. She goes, it feels like his kidneys are too big, this could be a case of gout, we can xray to look for it. Now, I know it's not gout, but an xray will either enlighten her on the fact that I'm not joking about how messed up this bird is, or it will show her what's actually injured, or both.
So she does the xray and she calls me into the back room and she goes well. it's not gout. his kidneys are actually small and I was feeling his messed up air sac. there's a lot wrong here, but I'm looking at his last xray and there's a lot wrong there, and most of it is the same. he got a little better in some ways and a little worse in other ways, but the issue is that it looks like he jammed his hip joint and injured it a little, possibly from landing wrong.
you know. an injury. like from the ultimate panic of the Wind Making Sounds.
Anyway he got some antibiotics against infection and some pain meds and we'll give him a couple of tube feedings until he's not feeling crappy. For now he's asleep in my room on a roost.
#stan the peachick#artemis#peafowl#peacocks#peahens#birds#my pets#animal medical#it always cracks me up to take my birds to the vet#I delivered him to the xray room#set him down#and said if you need him to lie down just#you know#put your hands on his wings by his shoulders and tip him#he'll just let you tip him into lying down#and as I left I heard them doing so#and a quiet 'I wish all birds were like this'#this vet is being trained by my vet I think#I miss my vet she was almost always right#this one is 0 for 2 on her guesses vs mine so far#I adore the techs though#the one came to get a photo of stan for his son and#I said find me a clipper and I'll give you a feather tip for him#and gave him one of Stan's baby eyes
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i misheard one of my friends and i thought they called me “puppy”, and i felt my cunt get so wet almost immediately.
#i am absolutely pathetic#idk what to tag this kind of thing#personal#i guess? idk.#puppy needs a fucking break from it all#1cky puppy#bd/sm pet#bd/sm puppy
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Masterlist
Charles woke up the next morning, wishing he could put off visiting the vampire. He had enough on his plate as it was. He was in no hurry to help yet another person through their recovery.
But it had to be done.
Besides, the poor thing hadn't asked for this. It would be too cruel to abandon them just because he was busy.
He and Ollie ate their breakfast together as usual. Charles worked in the downstairs office for an hour but for very little done. He was mostly just trying to clear his mind and gather enough patience to give the vampire his best. He wanted to continue to show them what was probably the first acts of kindness done to them in a long time or maybe even forever.
He went to his second fridge and pulled out a blood bag for them, then hurried to their room. He knocked gently.
"Dear? I'm coming in with your food, aright? Please stay back from the door."
He waited a moment so they had a chance to here and act on his words, then he stepped inside.
"Greetings, dear. Did you sleep alright? You're looking better. More healthy, I mean. Here's your food, eat up, please."
He handed the bag over to them and then stepped back.
When its owner came the next morning, the vampire was ready.
It had thoroughly cleaned itself after the mess it had made the previous day. (Or, as thoroughly as it could manage with its hands' limited mobility, anyway.) It had dozed lightly on and off through the night, balancing its need for rest with its need to be alert should anyone come near.
By the time he knocked, it was kneeling respectfully in the middle of the room, trying and failing not to think of what the day might bring.
He kept speaking so strangely. Almost gently. Almost kindly. It nodded in response to his question; it had slept well, given the circumstances.
"You're looking better. More healthy, I mean."
It very carefully did not flinch at those words. Of course it was looking healthier; he'd fed it. Was that not what he wanted? No, he sounded. Pleased? It hoped it was hearing that tone correctly.
Why would he be happy it was healing, though?
What did he have planned that needed it whole before he could begin?
It took the blood bag gingerly as he held it out, crooked hands shaking as it kept itself in check. It couldn't be too eager, couldn't let itself make any moves that might be considered a sign of aggression.
With a meal within recent memory, it had enough self-control to eat slowly. Cleanly. It sucked every last drop of blood (human, human, who cared that it was dead-cold and plastic-stale when the blood was human) from the bag, not letting any escape to make a mess this time.
Finished, it set the empty bag aside and prostrated itself at its owner's feet.
Perhaps today it would learn how he wanted it to pay for his generosity.
#the heart and the hunger#crossover#charles & ollie#it as a pronoun#pet whump#slave whump#vampire whumpee#vampire whump#whump writing#celeste the vampire#the vampire is female#dehumanization#past starvation#internalized dehumanization#nonverbal whumpee#celeste has a ton of injuries that need healing and that's gonna be tons of fun >:D#(for me. as a whump writer. not for her who will suffer through the painful healing process.)#i will have to figure out exactly what all those injuries are....#but its enough that the broken fingers are very low on the list of things that will heal#just assume that vampiric healing works however is needed in story i guess because im making this up as i go along
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Multiclassed wyll into a warlock/ranger. Best decision I've ever made, live your Disney princess with a gun truth man
#he gains heavy armour proficieny and can handle martial weapons greatly increasing the damage he can do while still keeping the magic from#his pact#he finally has a chance of fully becoming rhe blade of frontiers#him and my tav can both be magical living weapons together qwq#wyll ravengard#but seriously the ranger knight tirle was made for him#theres also a mage breaker ranger title if yall knew i CHOKED#my tav is a sorcerer and i thought picking that would make for one too many jokess and coughs jsbdnsbdvdhej#too obvious too easily funny skbsdjbd#then i think my second option was ro make him beast master i think to summon scratch?#i thought of giving him sleight of hand but we hsve astarion for that and#he need to put his back into working and stealung for the team to make up for his anti gnoming and general evil doings#pet peeve i hate calling being anti orc anti goblin etc racism thwy are NOT different races they are different beings entirely!#each being has their own races within them im sick! everyones using the incorrect term!!#and i have to use the blasted inaccurate terms with them to get my points across! hate it!#lmao guess which background my tav has from this spiel sondkdjkdm#back to wyll take your gun your crossbow you4 axe your l9ngsword whatever you want#now youve multiclassed#you truly can have it all#yES he got his ass beat right after (we had just solved racism and hadnt healed then being nice to glut backfired)#ge got knocked out for a bit from an opportunity attack i didnt see whoop#s#glut got big hands#he coulda used them for something else if he wasnt such a bitch#burnt his corpse jic#back to wyll again truly a defender of the people now and not solely relying on mizsnoreahs magic#maybe hell stop missing so much!#still i actually remenbered to play wyll as a warlock in the ending slavery fight and it paid off#him killing off 2 people with a bolt spell was so cool i got draw him finger gun blasting people
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reading Thea Harrison's Dragon Bound and
a) the first true contemporary urban fantasy PNR that has REEEEEALLY gotten me to sit up and listen since IAD
b) have realized that I have a weird thing for the "big scary monster man provides food for his less scary captive and watches her eat" thing, and I didn't actually get that it was a thing until now
#romance novel blogging#like the heroine of this book is a vegetarian which the dragon shifter guy finds DISGUSTING#but he just gave her elf bread or whatever and is sitting there like O_O as she eats#she's not even eating erotically i think it just makes him happy like when you pet a cat while it eats#and one of my favorite minor scenes in lothaire is when he watches ellie eat waffles#and is like well guess WHAT i can ALSO eat WAFFLES#and then almost vomits trying to choke down the waffles#we need more of this#(is this all just a pet play thing. is that what this is.)
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guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working
#my mom is basically scrubbing the house of all traces of her bc thats how she copes. thats what she did when dad died#like two days later she was cleaning out all his medical equipment and stuff#i guess thats a way of dealing with it :( just doesnt really work for me because it makes me feel their absence even harder#like for me i personally wanted to keep Dad's stuff around for a while because. idk i guess it just felt like he was still kind of there#in a way. i guess. i dunno#obviously losing a pet is easier to deal with than losing a parent but it still blows dude i hate this#(* a parent that you had a good relationship with. i know that im very fortunate in that regard. not everyone had that and i need to count#my blessings)#idk this feels harder than losing my childhood dog because jojo was basically my constant companion for the past several years#after dad died i got suicidally depressed and didnt leave the house and was unemployed for a good chunk of time and she kept me company#taking her for walks and hikes was the only thing i enjoyed doing and the only thing that got me out of the house. she was always there#(also there's probably some psychological component to the fact that we adopted her specifically to be a companion for dad#when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me#so. idk. like.... i feel like theres something there lol)#mia.txt#animal death
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Haven't stopped thinking about a threesome w Choso and Yuki for like a week...
#like Yuki is telling Choso how to breed me while I'm eating her out#and she's praising me for being such a cute and obedient pet. letting him use me like a toy while I'm focusing on her#idk. for some reason I'm embarrassed?? embarrassed to want a man there at all i guess lol#i just. need to be dommed by Yuki#and i need Choso to be there. i can't explain further
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i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness
my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me
i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3
#mar.txt#still very much upset about losing him,but it's kind of faded for numbness now#still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was#he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone#he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all,his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were#getting my attention so i would come to him,then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make#it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to#take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to#move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me.#despite everything,he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it,but. he was purring,maybe until the moment he finally passed.#he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him.#i'm glad that,at least,he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out#that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have.#i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even#despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain.#ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his#entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening.#i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home.#vent post? i guess?
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