#i guess I need a pet that's all
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murobrown · 2 years ago
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#it's Friday and I'm in my pyjamas since like 4 PM...what a life.#now my stomach decided to kill me so I just collapsed on the couch and then my brain started to be self destructive too and now I'm sad#feeling kinda lonely#i love isolating myself and solitude more than anything but sometimes I just want those small things#like someone who would take me for a walk like I'm a fucking dog#or watching movie not on my own#cooking or baking for someone#and I'm trying to get over it because I'll probably never get this stuff in my life#i miss being around my family because those are the only people i feel comfortable with#all friendships i have feel like chores or job interviews#i feel like I can't feel this connection with anyone anymore#i don't share same interests or opinions with my friends anymore#i don't have same life experiences as them#and it's still alright to see them from time to time but I just don't feel the need to be intimate with them#i mean intimate like vulnerable#and I don't fucking know how to make new friends when you're 25 and introverted and little ugly#and I don't even know if I want friends#i guess I need a pet that's all#no I think I just need less free time so that I don't have time to think those things#but you know what I'm still doing good like overall I'm happy with my life#i still feel so fucking grateful for everything i have right now compared what a mess it was just few months ago#not even speaking about one year ago#and two years ago doesn't even feel like me an my life anymore#it feels bad saying it but I'm proud of myself because I did this all by myself#I'm here doing good only because of myself#like I gave myself all this stuff i always wanted#I'm making myself happy for the first time in my life#for the first time in my life I don't fully hate myself... just a little :) sometimes#sometimes I can even feek sorry or forgive my past self but that's still work in progress#i don't know what am I saying anymore this is what happens when I'm with no chores or responsibilities for more than one hour
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months ago
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Headcanon that Leo really loved to give his family massages growing up. We know that he’s good at them from the episode “You Got Served” and we know he likes spas and relaxation and getting massages himself from when he tried to get these in “Bad Hair Day” and from when Donnie made a tennis ball massage machine in “Smart Lair.”
So I think it’d be cute to think that maybe one day Leo overheard Splinter complaining about a bad back and immediately Leo thinks back to a comic or movie or something he saw where a massage helped so he offers to give one and it actually ends up helping Splinter.
Then April swings by the Lair at a later time and mentions her back hurting because of her backpack from school and Leo’s all like “I gotcha!”
From there, he occasionally manages to convince Donnie to sit for one because Donnie’s shrimp posture does not help him any (Leo pokes fun at how sandpaper-y Donnie’s shell is despite knowing it’s always like that and Donnie smacks him for it.) Donnie usually prefers hand massages instead however as all his typing and inventing adds up over time, and shoulder massages too once he starts wearing his battle shells more. Leo also figures out how to give massages to Raph and Mikey’s shells as well, though it’s a struggle at first to not scratch his hands on Raph’s spikes.
I think since Leo has such bad luck with spas and the like, he tries giving himself massages (though it’s not as helpful.) Like, with how his abilities work his legs are probably always aching from his portal jumping and one foot landings, so maybe he branches past back massages out of a need to help his own aches too. (Though he really wants a shell massage himself, the same way he’d give them…the one time with Donnie’s tennis ball massage machine was but a short moment of what Leo’s been missing out on and what he’ll continue missing out on…)
I don’t know, I just think it’d be cute to think Leo could have honed his massaging skill this way in order to help out his family (and also partially because he wants a massage himself.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#this unironically is a smidge pointing to the medic Leo headcanon too#because massages are really good at relieving pain you didn’t even know you had#not just for backs but for your hands your feet your neck#poor Leo just wants to be the one getting a massage for once in ‘Bad Hair Day’ but no#he’s really good at getting everyone else to chill and rest and relax in general it’s very interesting to see#unironically I wonder if Leo could be really good at meditation so long as you call it relaxation instead#also after the invasion I’d imagine everyone has some aches and pains#ironically enough Leo himself likely has the most from the sheer amount of blunt force trauma and potential broken bones#so it’s sad to think the one who massages best is the one who needs it most alas#imagine a time where Draxum finally manages to get on Leo’s good side and Leo hears him complaining that his cafeteria job gives back pains#and Leo’s like UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL HELP#I also like to think that for all they tease Raph for his ‘chasm’ Leo sometimes will massage Raph’s face#and when he does Raph finally relaxes enough to look his age#when Mikey starts growing hair he loves when Leo massages his scalp esp if he’s helping to wash it too#mayhem doesn’t like Leo much at first but QUICKLY warms up to him because of how good his pets are#smart lair shows they all canonically love massages actually I was reminded! so this makes even more sense with that too
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messiahzzz · 8 months ago
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as much as i dislike the dialogue option that leads to this scene, i genuinely appreciate gale's response. it is easy to overlook what he is actually trying to convey here and is instead commonly dismissed as him being "overdramatic" or as a display of his bruised ego.
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player: it was fine. gale: i see. gale: well, fine is... fine. nobody weeps because the weather is fine. no monarchs were overthrown because their ruling was fine. no artworks were burned because they were not masterpieces, but merely fine. player: would you have rather i lied? gale: the dignified thing for me to say is 'no. of course not. forthrightness before all.' but honestly? yes... i would have rather you lied. gale: i'm just a man. an imperfect one, with needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel. a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power. gale: perhaps it would be better to not shake such a vessel. gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.
gale is no stranger to introspection. despite having his natural blindspots, he is fully aware of his flaws and imperfections. he lacks an inherent sense of self-preservation, displays impatience on occasion, can be hypocritical, has trouble handling pointed criticism well, and has a tendency to respond in passive aggression if he feels his competence is brought into question. he seeks admiration and is known to not honor his limitations and own safety for the sake of receiving praise.
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gale: [...] people have always commented on my confidence, sometimes my over-confidence, and in one particularly cut throat assessment at university - my 'abject and incorrigible self-delusion.'
gale is not blind to how he is perceived by others, nor does he dismiss their conclusions without careful consideration. instead of deflecting he simply takes what they dish out and files it away for later contemplation and inspection.
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player: because you acted the idiot. and paid the price for it too. gale: as always, i endeavor to be invigorated by your candour, rather than eviscerated by it. gale: blunt as your summation is - it's correct. i dared to call myself an archmage while acting the apprentice. the hallmarks of a most excellent idiot, unfortunately.
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player: i can't say i share the same high opinion of you, gale. gale: always bringing such candour to our conversations. some would think twice about mocking gale of waterdeep, but you just go straight for the gut. nodecontext: playing along, making fun of himself gale: i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities, though i fear my ego can take no more of it tonight. nodecontext: cheerfully accepting the brush off, not taking it personally
needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel.
gale craves as mortals do. for relevance, safety, consideration, loyalty, care, acceptance, and love. he's desperate, he's angry, he's petty and hurt and lonely. he's contradictory, and at times inconsistent. he's afraid, he stumbles, he yearns. if he loves, he does so with all his heart but forgets to extend the same love to himself. he gains understanding only to disregard it later. he is absorbed yet devoted. he expects kindness but is bewildered when it is extended to him in turn. he's neither a perfect colleague, a perfect companion, a perfect lover, nor a perfect husband. he's just another human who's trying to navigate and make sense of the world. who is silently hoping for his soul to be handled with tenderness and care, to finally be seen for who he is —no need for performance or pretense — and to be unconditionally cherished nonetheless.
a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power.
he knows the burden he carries. understanding that even a momentary lapse in judgment could spell catastrophe if he doesn't exert tight control over his emotions at all times. he knows what is at stake should he lose the composure he painstakingly had to master. a mere moment is all it takes. this self-assessment isn't an "indirect threat" intended to subject pressure on tav or solicit pity, it's a stark acknowledgment of the truth. he is a fragile human, housing powers that should've never been his in the first place.
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player: unbelievable. did you ever think what would happen if the tadpole got the better of you? gale: every waking moment. every dreaming moment too. but there was no way out.
he is also keenly aware of how his (former) colleagues perceive him, following his fall from grace.
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player: bold. few would dare to reduce a goddess to their 'muse.' gale: i am, after all, the villain of the tale.
this line in particular is one i often think about. it makes me wonder about the extent of information gale received from the outside world after locking himself in his tower for an entire year, setting magical wards so no one but tara would be able to enter. did he hear the whispers? ("shunned by the goddess of magic herself, of course, it was only a matter of time before he flew too close to the sun.") were his colleagues ridiculing him, applauding mystra for cutting off the rot at the source? how did he arrive at the assumption that he is perceived as "the villain" and not the victim?
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player: you must have been lonely, with only tara for company.. gale: sometimes. but i imposed it upon myself, after all. i set up enough wards to keep an army at bay, never mind the few colleagues who sought to inquire about my welfare.
or is this solely his own harsh judgment of his folly? that there is no chance anyone would meet him with sympathy, kindness and understanding after what he had wrought. he was too greedy, too impatient — selfish in arrogance, ravenous in ambition. letting delusions of grandeur guide him. he brought it all upon himself with his lack of patience. entirely convinced of his success and skill, blind to the possibility of failure. now doomed to drag innocents into the abyss with him. the hallmarks of a villain, right? after all, who would truly believe him that his ambition hid no ill will?
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players: by rights. i should kill you. gale: perhaps that is what i deserve, but you deserve no such thing. [...]
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electoons · 9 months ago
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she was the silliest billy 🥹
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aggravatedanarchy · 5 months ago
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Hello Kind Soul 💕
I am trying to evacuate my family from Gaza to safe area to save our lives ASAP 🙏
I Ask if you could support us by share my blog and boost my campaign?
https://www.gofundme.com/f/Stand-With-AlBalawi-Family
If you are generous enough, you can donate any small contribution, it really helps ❤
Of course!
Anyone who can donate, please consider doing so! It looks like they're currently at just under halfway to their goal.
If you're unable to donate, please consider reblogging this so that it might reach someone who can! (And hey, maybe consider reblogging it even if you did!)
Wishing you the best; I don't generally pray, but I will keep you in mine moving forward.
Here's a photo of my cat to hopefully get this more traction (and so I can put this in more tags)
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theskymother · 2 months ago
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animal jam is a lot more fun when you're rich
#seriously notp is making me RICH on ajpw#i can get like. one corruption orb per hour of playing dungeons. the super sweets prizes?? got an alpha after like 5 rounds. got soo many#rares from that too.....#and now i'm like. oh i want to play as a dragon? don't have to wait two weeks to save the sapphires! i can buy it now!!#looking for a cool specific piece of clothing for my outfit? i can just buy it right now!! without worrying about the price!!!#i'm seriously considering buying an alpha. just like. snooping on explorer looking at the different wizard hats for when i sell mines#(i'm not That rich lol)#kind of disappointing anyways. like. it's easy to grind this stuff when you're not a kid but it must take so long for kids to do this!!#most of the people in this game get rich by paying money!! and like#i was always a nm on classic and while they are definitely more pay to play it was like. you could have so much fun and still be poor#play wild it's like. you do get all these features but so much of it is focused on Buying. like the only non purchase stuff i can think of#is crafting ???? and the phantom dungeons.. and the minigames. and talking to people i guess.#but like honestlyyy people only really care about the items and getting items and what items are coming out next month?? and what animals??#what new effects can i get for my pets for my items??? AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH#idk. idk. i know animal jam is far past its glory days and it needs to do this to survive. and i definitely do not want this game to die.#but it is really going full capitalism mode. and i think the content and the players and the devs are really suffering from that. idk.#jamblr#i do really enjoy doing the nonogram puzzles and i absolutely love the dungeons. i'm glad they give me stuff to sell. but man. i kind of ju#t wish it wasn't so much like this yknow#ramblings#bangers
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sillysealfan · 9 months ago
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so dash tag came back this month
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Read Fang the Hunter after catching up on idw Sonic and like
Wooo!! Return of Fang, his pursedog jester boytoy, and said boytoy's big buddy!
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Also ajsjsjsn I'm this close to retitling this mini series "How to Lose One's Bitches: A Cautionary Tale as to Why Team Hooligan Isn’t a Modern Era Team"
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wolfeyedwitch · 5 months ago
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Masterlist
Charles woke up the next morning, wishing he could put off visiting the vampire. He had enough on his plate as it was. He was in no hurry to help yet another person through their recovery.
But it had to be done.
Besides, the poor thing hadn't asked for this. It would be too cruel to abandon them just because he was busy.
He and Ollie ate their breakfast together as usual. Charles worked in the downstairs office for an hour but for very little done. He was mostly just trying to clear his mind and gather enough patience to give the vampire his best. He wanted to continue to show them what was probably the first acts of kindness done to them in a long time or maybe even forever.
He went to his second fridge and pulled out a blood bag for them, then hurried to their room. He knocked gently.
"Dear? I'm coming in with your food, aright? Please stay back from the door."
He waited a moment so they had a chance to here and act on his words, then he stepped inside.
"Greetings, dear. Did you sleep alright? You're looking better. More healthy, I mean. Here's your food, eat up, please."
He handed the bag over to them and then stepped back.
When its owner came the next morning, the vampire was ready.
It had thoroughly cleaned itself after the mess it had made the previous day. (Or, as thoroughly as it could manage with its hands' limited mobility, anyway.) It had dozed lightly on and off through the night, balancing its need for rest with its need to be alert should anyone come near.
By the time he knocked, it was kneeling respectfully in the middle of the room, trying and failing not to think of what the day might bring.
He kept speaking so strangely. Almost gently. Almost kindly. It nodded in response to his question; it had slept well, given the circumstances.
"You're looking better. More healthy, I mean."
It very carefully did not flinch at those words. Of course it was looking healthier; he'd fed it. Was that not what he wanted? No, he sounded. Pleased? It hoped it was hearing that tone correctly.
Why would he be happy it was healing, though?
What did he have planned that needed it whole before he could begin?
It took the blood bag gingerly as he held it out, crooked hands shaking as it kept itself in check. It couldn't be too eager, couldn't let itself make any moves that might be considered a sign of aggression.
With a meal within recent memory, it had enough self-control to eat slowly. Cleanly. It sucked every last drop of blood (human, human, who cared that it was dead-cold and plastic-stale when the blood was human) from the bag, not letting any escape to make a mess this time.
Finished, it set the empty bag aside and prostrated itself at its owner's feet.
Perhaps today it would learn how he wanted it to pay for his generosity.
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sysig · 4 months ago
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Dangerously frightened ft. a sorta redraw (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Still vent to a degree I guess haha#Poor Charm having to deal with the sads and the scareds - just how it goes!#All different iterations too! Classic and True Villain - she has to deal with way more nonsense under Kaiein so yeah that tracks#Unclear where she's at with Coffee petting her hair - no glasses and hair down but she's basically completely isolated in the TVAU sooo#Probably at least somewhere sometime of being vulnerable to others! Good for her#Wingies! And more stress#Definitely a bad spot in that case - confident Evil and wings is usually pretty alright Classic S1 style anyhow#Feeling powerful! Maybe spiteful or vindictive but at least not Cornered or that something needs to be made up for#Very dangerous spot to be in with that level of power#Like a declawed cat - will strike first with teeth when backed into a corner with nothing else to turn to#Her outfit is still really fun to draw even divorced from context tho haha#Cute wings and scalloping and shapes and everything ahh#Cutes!#Her proportions are fun to mess with too haha is she more like an hourglass or straight up and down? Why not both! All the things!#Depends on the day#The redraws are always interesting I still really like my initial Just Desserts style honestly#The contact points and shapes - like the way her legs sit and taper on the bed - it's cool! I like them#That one's definitely a redraw(s) but the last one is the sorta-redraw haha#Different but similar! Interesting to play in and fun#Poor Charm hopefully she'll catch a break soon <knows she won't (pft)
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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year ago
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reading Thea Harrison's Dragon Bound and
a) the first true contemporary urban fantasy PNR that has REEEEEALLY gotten me to sit up and listen since IAD
b) have realized that I have a weird thing for the "big scary monster man provides food for his less scary captive and watches her eat" thing, and I didn't actually get that it was a thing until now
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luvsavos · 11 months ago
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i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness
my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me
i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3
#mar.txt#still very much upset about losing him,but it's kind of faded for numbness now#still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was#he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone#he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all,his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were#getting my attention so i would come to him,then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make#it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to#take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to#move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me.#despite everything,he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it,but. he was purring,maybe until the moment he finally passed.#he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him.#i'm glad that,at least,he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out#that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have.#i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even#despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain.#ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his#entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening.#i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home.#vent post? i guess?
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electoons · 9 months ago
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guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working
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tirfpikachu · 14 days ago
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guess who just set some boundaries.......... (it's me!)
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hauntingblue · 1 month ago
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Episode 8 I am so scared....
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#mel magical girl transformation.... her mother's weapon... christ... mel will save them all vi step aside!!#this is so funny... mel with her bodysuit and golden bodypaint walking thru the valley with her new pet crow.... slay#SINGED WILL CONTROL VIKTOR???? AND VANDER??? AMBESSA ENOUGH! VIKTORS VOICE OMG!!#LORIS REMINDING VI OF VANDER NOOOOO I KNEW THIS WAS COMING!!! CAILTYN TAKING MADDIES HAND AWAY FROM HER AKDJSK#arrested jinx???? OH MY GOOOD JINX!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HER PUPILS ARE SO WIDE SHES SO OUT OF IT#YES CAITLYN END THE CYCLE!!!!! they repaired the council table with golden stuff.... YES JAYCE FINALLY REALIZED!!!! OOF NOT THE BEST MOMENT!#UPSIDE DOWN KISS COME ON!!! Viktor realizing too that it has been all jayces fault.... this is so sad.... what a breakup#silco talking to jinx about breaking the cycle... he became a hallucination too.... not so bad like the others thats inch resting#THE HUG NOOOOOOO YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH HER????? SHES GONNA DIEEEEEEE NOOOOOOO VI AGAIN IN PRISON UNABLE TO SAVE HER SISTER!!!!!#theres no good version of me after we just fucking saw it im gonna be sick.... SEVIKA AND THE FIRELIGHT GUY IN THE COUNCIL ROOM??#what tf are you wearing jayce.... an outsider force putting an end to a civil war who woulda thot.... OMG THE PARALEL TO THEIR FIRST MEETING#WHAT THE HELL!!! NOT IN THE PRISON CELL!!!! AFTER VI JUST TOLD HER THAT??? AKDJAKSJ CAITLYN HOLD YOURSELF!!! my god i need a pause#vi does look so good from the back.... but my god why are they doing this now akdjsksjk maddie is upstairs akdhaksn WHYYYYYYY NOW????#no WAYYYYY WE GOT HER BACK TATTOO REVEAL NOW!!!!!! WHAT THE HEEEEEEEELLL OH MY GOOOOOD VIIIII GOING DOWN AND LOOKING UP THANK YOU GOD!!!!AAA#cait laughing... girl i would too... that was all so detailed too like damn... vi was amazed by the Kirammountains....#so thats it... can i be honest.... a little too unemotional.... like their kiss was something else entirely....#but this is vi just going DAMN!!! RIGHT NOW!!! and pouncing... which i understand but their bed scene... come on.. i needed to cry with this#so no talk about reconciliation..... *throws phone on the floor and jumps in skateboard and breaks it in half*#vander dying with viktors humanity..... and sky.... viktor getting his mask.... my god.... and vander losing his memories.... should we all#talking tag#watching arcane season 2#watching arcane#you know i understand caitlyn admited she was manipulated and what vi said about second chances but.... apologies please.....#oh now i get it she sent the guards to the gates so jinx could escape..... alright alright... i thought she did that only so they could fuck#well vi did follow her sisters advice and got with her i guess akdhaksjak which okay is nice bc she said she didn't need to feel guilty#about being happy.... alright i understand now *viktors voice*#alright i was slow my bad... vi pounced on her bc she is just so grateful that she let jinx go and cailtyn did let go of her anger.... aight
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bmpmp3 · 1 month ago
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Hello Zundamon.
#i built the little plafia zundamon figure kit! i was like#a little scared because ive only ever done like one gundam once years ago#BUT it went pretty smooth and it was fun#a couple tiny pieces i think ill need to glue later (the tiny necktie specifically) but most stuck together pretty solid press fit#her legs fall off all the time while posing but thats just the nature of this type of joint so im used to it#the default and scared face are pre painted but the other four have waterslide decals which was scary cause id never done those before#BUT actually it was chill and pretty easy LOL just finicky#later i guess ill use some doll sealant i have around to seal the decals in#shes so silly....maybe sometime ill get the ankomon ver too...and i think theyre planning on making a zunko#id specifically looooove an itako but i imagine if they do all they'll do kiritan next#which also isnt bad theyre all silly sisters + their weird freak pet zundamon <3#SHE didnt come with a stand i think that was exclusive for like. a limited edition from the companys store#which that will be an adventure trying to find a stand for her.....but somehow i got her to balance for this photo LOL#she canNOT stand by herself 99% of the time tho her big ass head tail thing and tiny feet forbid it#but i had fun building her and now i have a funny little thang on my desk. hello zundamon.#edit: now i will say. my aim is bad when cutting off the plastic nubs#i am going to be stepping tiny plastic bits stuck in my carpet for days <3
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