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feuqueerfire · 3 months ago

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Love Sea + Special Live Blogging

I was pretty invested in Prapai/Sky in Love In The Air even when I was frustrated by their storyline, so I'm really curious to see how this show is for them. I know bits and pieces of this show (writer with a writer's block, puppy Fort..., a side GL that everybody was annoyed with and that apparently didn't get resolution?) and I'm curious to see how it goes, I think I've seen generally good reception even if people think the story's a bit of a mess.

I'm watching this right now because I have a week of iQiyi free VIP, though I'm sure that I'll have to just note the timestamps of NC scenes and watch those later, not trying to watch it all on the subway lol

Ep 1 (Aug 22) - Chapter 1: Love Begins with the Flick of a Pen

watching their inital interaction like :D ^-^

oh, Ja! I didn't know he was in this, is it a cameo or a recurring side character?

lmao crying at the nong trying to relay his P'Mut's coolness to Tongrak

but also I hope so badly that Mut is younger than Rak by a couple years plsssss I know in LITA Prapai was older than Sky but I feel like their dynamic would be even more delicious if the age gap is like their irl one

Mut is known and beloved across the island

ahh they're really leaning into the cat Rak thing. and we've got dog Mut coming up hehe

oh yeah, I also heard something about the skin tone comments, especially in the earlier episodes. (though it seems like it's meant to be funny/satire and not actually serious here)

The Vi and Mook beginning shenanigans are kinda cute, sad to know that they apparently don't get resolved and aren't well-liked

ah, Rak's gotta have sex to write about sex lol

a dramatic reaction to Mut going into the water early on in the series to hint at trauma but also to get the couple close even though they're not in their relationship journey to do it on their own yet. but yknow what? it worked on me. they're cute

After watching this episode, I must say... how tragic to me that Peat's surgery changed some key features of his face that make him look quite different (to me at least) because I really like Peat's face and look here. At least we'll always have his face in LITA and here (glad he didn't get it done before this show). but maybe that's just me because I've seen other people talk about how it was money well spent lol

the cinematography is so pretty, gorgeous island and beach, I wish I could go to Thailand bruh. and I'm giddy watching FortPeat-MutRak, they're so good as a pair fr.

Ep 2 (Aug 23) - Chapter 2: Echoes Across the Endless Blue

I watched the sex scene before going to sleep last night because I was like I'm gonna have to skip this when watching the episode on my commute to work, might as well watch it now. However, I only watched a few minutes of this on my commute, so I didn't even get to the NC scene to skip it.

I stopped around the time Rak started sucking on Mut's finger lol

As usual, I'm kinda disgusted by all this licking and tongue but somehow I can handle a lot more with this pair than in general

Fort looks sooo cute at Mut being all confused and annoyed about sitting on Rak's bed instead of having sex while Rak writes

Unfortunately I am nothing if not an enjoyer of someone making their crush run around and do errands and chores for them so I like VieMook for now, even though Vee is rude and entitled and thoughtless - that kinda comes with this trope territory. I'm more worried about them apparently not getting resolved by the end

The money and buying Mut think is a repeating theme

Woof!

the forehead kiss from Vie didn't actually do anything for me hm

not this lmfao. and Mut being dense like "what hurts?"

ah, Mut's estranged from his father, disowned since he was 15 years old. His dad has a boat but it looks like a regular-looking boat, not a rich ppl one

Palm calls Mut Phi just in a general familiar way right? Not actual familial way.

Why did Rak jump off to do diving without informing Mut when just a day or two ago he got scared when Mut jumped off the boat without telling him... smh

oh, in this trauma flashback where he's consoling his crying pregnant friend, Rak/Peats looks like Sky a lot

I think Fort reminds me a little tiny bit of Park Gunwook

[Linguistics] Mut -> Rak: Khun. Rak about himself with Mut: Chan. Rak -> Mut: Nai

Ep 3 (Aug 24)

I like learning more about the rumours Vie faces as a female lead and how she’s faking being unaware of them + how she was doing the “oh don’t you know I’m a fragile female lead” schtick with Mook

Oh, Rak has an older sister

and his dad is hanging around presumably for money

rude as fuck Rak omg though I get he doesn't wanna do whatever Mut's planning

not the paid boyfriendship while on the island

fake dating girlfriends? well not right now it seems but maybe in the future

"Possessive of my owner too. In case you didn't know" is so akldsfjlkasdfjlk;ajdsf l;kjasdf

a little coral education

ah, Vie's forcing the fake gf thing on Mook. rip. "rumoured to be boobing my way to the top" is so funny though

Vie saying "I'm not bi" and Mook probably thinking she's straight but just has fake gf but Vie likely means she's a lesbian

environmentalist Mut

"If I'm a good boy, could you use your mouth on me next time?" i'm sooaklsdfjalksdjf

omg why is the "stay on the island" convo so good and like emotional considering we're on ep 3. it reveals so much about the characters though, the way Rak's desperate to be asked and Mut's so afraid of asking

not Mut crying omg

aw, Rak has to go even though he said he'd stay

I'm nervous about them going back to the city because people said they liked the island episodes but not the city ones. hmm

Ep 4 (Aug 24) - Ch 4: From Seaside to Skyline

"If you can't bear to say goodbye, just buy and take the guy with you" lol

they really are doing the money and sex thing hmm

poor Mook lmfao they can't stop talking about fucking, these menaces. i'm torn between she's too naive/prudish vs you actually shouldn't have to hear about your boss's sex life at work

a whole contract goddamn and the clause of it ending whenever Rak wants which like yknow obviously it should end when either party wants but there should be like a "but you still get living expenses for 1 more month afterward to sort yourself out/figure out new income" or whatever

I can't read Mut right now. is he annoyed? frustrated? feels disrespected? still into it?

sugar daddy sugar baby i would actually be cringing so hard usually but yknow what... here it's somehow ok even though it's (purposefully?) a little uncomfortable

I don't fully understand their relationship because the asking to stay and island stuff was so full of emotion but now it's like contracts and money and also apparently Only Sex No Feelings (from Rak at least)

Vie/Mook are cute here

Ep 5 (Aug 25)

the thing with the making your crush run around doing errands thing is that there’s supposed to be a breaking point where the person actually listens to their crush’s complaints and hurts or whatever. whereas it's ep 5 and Vie is still ordering Mook around

damn, so much drama with Prin. and apparently everybody in their family is obsessed with men lol. it was actually an interesting argument because Prin was clearly getting to Rak and somehow... Rak and Prin are similar?

ah, the changing room talk is good

Ep 6 (Aug 25/26)

more of Ram’s backstory and Mut’s understanding

I like it when the supposed “top” and “bottom” in different ships are friends (Kom and Mut) bc it sometimes feels like only the semes can be friends with each other and the ukes with each other lol

aw pouty jealous babies lol

childish fight lolll

Rak going to Vie after the fight is so cute. he knows that Mut caring about him feels fucking fantastic and that he’s also got too much of an ego to say sorry

Vie needs to just grow a backbone and decide to confess to Mook or smth because there’s gotta be a limit to the manipulation smh

Meena is so funny lol

damn, is Mut supposed to tell little child Meena that Rak paid for Mut's company?

finally the blowjob that Mut's been asking for for like 3? eps already. also Rak putting Mut's hand on his head multiple times was killing me omg

oh that's crazy, face fucking in my thai bl

oh, Vie speaks French?

Ep 7 (Aug 27)

I have no patience for the Prin drama

oh Boss and Noeul cameo

can’t they see that Rak’s glass is full while the glass in front of Prin is empty and it’d be difficult for Rak to reach for it?

The Boy Next World is a novel within Love Sea? ah, so Boss Noeul are also actors within this show who will be adapting TBNW as well as in real life (they’re filming right now i think?)

9-10 years age diff? lol i thought like 4-5

Ep 8 (Aug 27)

“That’s fiction. This is real life. Don’t mix them up.” Mame @ us lol

Prin and Rak’s dad teaming up how annoying

So Meena’s 13 (she really gives like 9/10), Mut is 20-21, Rak is ~30

we literally have “practicing lines” + kiss for acting trope for the lesbians oh my god. and you’re telling me they don’t get resolved after this kiss? are you kidding. also i feel like people were doing too much with the “they’re so annoying i skip the gl side plot” bc we’ve def had worse/more boring/more annoying side BL couples but alsoooo I don't understand this couple and why Vie hasn't already come clean/confessed/apologized for making Mook do all the things.

yeah Mut going along to have a chat with the dad was indeed a waste of your time and you shouldn’t have done it

the dad killed some Uncle Doctor???

Ep 9 (Aug 28)

oh my iQiyi VIP is over (~12 hours ago) but my downloaded episodes are still here? I should’ve downloaded more stuff if I’d known.

I was finding typing out Uncle Doctor a bit funny but once I heard them say Na Maw, it reminded me that in Bangla too I might call somebody Daktar-Auntie/Dentist-Uncle etc lol

nooo Rak begging on his knees in front of his dad for Mut

Kwon doesn’t seem to think that he dad actually killed Doctor Uncle but rather just took credit of an accident the doctor was in

oh yes I’ve seen multiple gifsets of Mut beating the shit of the dad after the contract is torn. “You took off my collar, are you ready to face me?”

it’s November now and apparently Mut’s been here for a couple months

Ep 10 (Aug 28)

I can watch my downloaded thing even after ~20 hours later.

bit over 1h20 minutes

Ah, they’ve gotta deal with this being a whole contract thing and Rak not being ready to face his feelings

It’s a little satisfying to see Mut be harsh with Rak at the beach after he’s just taken so many insults from Rak

I took a break and have ~25 minutes left and I think it's been a day since my VIP expired and I can't access the downloads anymore.

cute enough ending

Overall:

Mahasamut and Park Gunwook are not the same, they don't have the same personalities, but some of Mut's puppy behaviours and general mannerisms... also his age gap relationship with an older person... cute round face with built body... oh man.

Anyway.

A fine enough show, I think the dynamic and characters were interesting and the show/relationships threads were good for the main couple, especially the class difference rich/poor conversations and how their dynamic evolved. I think my SkyPrapai might still be my preferred FortPeat roles, which again makes no sense, but this one was a welcome addition, especially because during LITA I kept thinking Sky should've been the older one while Pai was supposed to be a younger puppy. On that note, thank you forever for all the puppy/dog Mut.

Unlike most people who were so over the side-GL, I was actually quite into Vie/Mook (esp because they have some tropes I enjoy, such as celeb/non-celeb and one person makes their crush do chores/errands) and kept hoping for... something to happen, for their dynamic to progress. Was there a scene of them making up cut in the last episode or something?? They didn't get a proper ending, which is sad. Vie was also such a good friend to Rak, I don't know why she was such a terror with Mook and then never progressed past it.

Loved Meena, what a cutie.

The drama of it was... okay, I guess. I get why Rak's father was such a menace (greedy bastard) but why was Prin doing all that beyond just jealousy? I do agree with the general consensus that the island episodes were better.

I keep debating 6 or 6.5 but I'll go with 6 for now because the show's writing was wobbly at some places + I didn't really get brainworms.

Rating: 6/10

Special (Aug 29)

So are Vie and Mook just supposedly dating now? Or like what?

wait, it's so fun that Rak's the one trying to do the "ooh can I get a little kiss" thing because in BL dynamics, I'd expect Mut to be the one pulling that while Rak's like noooo as if they don't fuck on the regular

It's cute to see Rak try hard with the speaking his feelings + doing things for Mut like making breakfast. a reciprocal relationship

Vie and Mook are so cute when they're clear about this being flirting or whatever

gorgeous, gorgeous girls of the world

more dog references

I'm gonna ignore Vie saying that about Mook drinking. their kiss is good though, their ep 10 kiss was also good

I love whiny4whiny when Rak's whining about wanting AC when camping vs Mut's whining that it'll ruin the experience

A cute special overall. It's about Rak and Mut's progress and lives together in the future and how they've met each other in the middle rather than random drama. Vie and Mook are cute too, it makes me sad that their story wasn't given a proper conclusion in the original series. Also, I wanna go on vacation so bad.

Rating: 6/10

#love sea #ep by ep commentary

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chelleztjs18 · 2 years ago

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I'm great actually! These past few weeks have felt like a dream and I really can't get enough of it :)

Oh no D: I'm sorry to hear that! That all sounds draining and shitty in general tbh

Ah same, I hate summer with a passion simply because of the heat. I can't stand it so I'm stoked that summer is ending as well! I've always loved thunderstorms, so that actually sounds super dope. I'm still in Michigan (I think I told you? I'm not sure either lol) but it rains a lot here and I always enjoy it :)

I'm a little sad to see Lost In Assistance go if I'm being honest, I think I grew so attached to them that it's hard to see them go.. They better get their happy ending because they deserve it after all they've been through 😭

I read your Nat fic and it was lovely! R being drunk added a bit of lightheartedness to it which was fun. The angst? Chef's kiss, you nailed it. Think my favorite part of it was when R wanted Wanda to "fix her" up, it made me laugh and the banter was soo good, it felt v real :) I see you have another one coming soon n I'm looking forward to it!

Okay, now for your dark Wanda fic. This one was a TRIP to say the least. Obviously when you go into dark fics, you know to expect wild stuff, but this was something. The build-up was enjoyable, then Chad's dumbass being brought along for the ride (his last😭) was just crazy, then to tie it all off with Wanda messing with your memories was good. I liked it a lot.. which probably sounds a bit insane but oh well

I write for all three actually, though I technically haven't posted anything for Nat yet, I'm hoping to change that soon (er or later with the way this writer's block is going 🙃)

I know this response is kinda sorta late (time moves very fast) and I do apologize! I plan on talking to you more often from now on! I hope life has been treating you decently as of late despite everything that's happened :>

- 🗿 <3

Hiiii you!

How are you and how is everything with you?

I'm so glad to hear back from you! Sorry for the delayed but I'm excited to answer your ask!

I'm so glad to hear that you are great. Oh what happened these past few weeks? Can I guess? You sound like you are in love and just got into a relationship. :D just a wild guess. But pls do tell me what happened the past few weeks to you? I would love to hear your happy story too, if you are comfortable with it.

Yes, at that time was pretty bad for me. I was emotionally drained but when I felt better, I got covid. It was one after another but I'm okay now even though I still feel something funny with my throat and cough a bit.

I know, right? Summer is draining. especially if it has high humidity. I heard that winter here even if it's snowy, we still have chances of tornadoes. It's crazy. It says that it can get really cold here. So i'm looking forward to it, even though it might be too cold for me but it's still better than summer. lol

I start to like Oklahoma more though. I once went back to California, it was good for food wise and met families / friends again but if I compared to this small country-ish city where I live now, I like it better than California. It's because after I live here for few months, the hectic vibe, crowd and traffic felt worse. haha. So I see the silver line from moving to Oklahoma. I think I'm sensitive with situation that has too many people or too much noise. It gives me anxiety. Especially if it's too many people/crowd, it makes me feel trapped and claustrophobic. n it gets worse when there is too much noise.

Does sound or noise can gives you headache/anxiety too? I will explain more in the next ask, after you. :)

Also, I think I forgot to share you the news that 3 months ago, I got my U.S citizenship! Yaay!

About Lost In Assistance, yes it is sad for me too that it's almost over and on the last chapter. I'm working on it but too be honest it is so hard to jump back in writing ch.65 . I don't know why, maybe subconsciously I don't want it to end? Not sure. But I gotta get it done. About the ending, hmmm I'm not gonna give you spoiler. lol. Do they get happy ending? We'll see.. hahaha. :D also thank you for being attached to that story. I appreciate it.

Yaaaay, I'm glad you read my first Nat fic and you enjoyed it. It was fun writing it. I was actually nervous if people would love it or not but so far it gets pretty good responds and I appreciate every single of it. It was my first Nat fic and it felt a little weird in a good way also interesting to write Wanda as R's best friend because I have always write her as R's love interest.

And yes, I actually have 2 more Nat fics coming. I hope you will like them as well.

Oh, my first dark Wanda fic, It is actually one of fics that I'm really proud writing it. I love that fic because it was my original idea and the "darkness" of it came out as how I wanted / pictured it. Haha don't worry, I don't think it's insane if you like it a lot. I'm thinking it is more insane that I enjoyed writing it. lol. I have 2 dark Wanda dark fics and also another one that's my original idea as well.

Oh, that's good that you write for 3 of them. I'm sorry you have a writer block. I really wish I could help. Brainstorming is fun.

Don't worry about replying me late, I understand. I sometimes reply late too. I'm looking forward to talk with you more often and will reply faster. I'm doing okay, still have ups and downs in my days. Today I had a situation with one weird cringey follower in Wattpad that I have to talk a little harder for her to stop messaging me and I had to block her. Other than that, everything is okay. Same shit different days. lol

Talk soon! Cheerio!

#🗿 anon #chellez answers #lovely anon

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purplerose244 · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on Ninjago the Island!!! 🏝🏝🏝

So, gotta be honest... this is not a Blind reaction thing, I actually watched it in French first so I know most of the stuff already 😅 It's entertaining, it got great animation, but nothing more than that in my opinion 🤷‍♀️

Still there is stuff I liked or I want to point out, and finally I'm seeing the English version so I can actually understand what the HECK they are saying 🤩

Alright, nothing else to say, here we go!

UNCHARTED

I haven't actually seen anything Clutch Powers related before Ninjago, is he always like this? I love that he is a jerk honestly, just wondering 😂

Press F for respect for intern Dwaine (at least he seems to like being... used?)

Clutch: It's just a bunch of rocks! It's not alive!

Totem: I'm about to end this man's whole career

Wait, Misako is part of the explorers club? ... that would have come in handy in season 11 to get the scroll of Forbitten Spinjitzu from the club instead of begging uncle Powers for it... *sighs* I don't mind plot holes in Ninjago like most fans I think, but if you wanna make Misako relevant again at least pay attention to the details 😅

Wow, after the end of season 13 I would've thought Wu was going to go through a midlife crisis, not Misako 😂😂

Oww, everytime I hear I get 😢 Bless your soul Kirby, always in our hearts 🖤🖤🖤

Well hello Brian

Always nice to see you 😊

Twitchy Tim must have been pretty interesting to voice 🤔 I like him enough, he's fun and all, maybe not at the level of the characters we got last season

Okay, the place is called the STORM belt, there are LIGHTNINGS, and the sand of the beach is BLUE. Are we gonna address any of these similarities to our Bluebell here or not? 😅

Wait, Tim was giving a hot air balloon tour, does that mean other people where with him? What of them? Are they dead? Did he let them die on the island?... am I reading too much into this? Probably 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Alright, the part of the boats? SO COOL 🤩🤩 I literally can't say anything bad about the animation at this point

Why did they think leaving Kai, Jay and Cole on one boat was going to be a good idea 😂 Also Zane just randomly doing sick tricks on his vehicle, love that nindroid

I'm guessing Nya is keeping her water abilities for her season 🤷‍♀️

Yep, yep, this is why the creators try to keep Pixal out of the adventures, with her everything is way too cool and easy to access to 😎😎

Twitchy Tim: There are statues that become alive!!

Lloyd:... so it's a season 2 stone army ripoff, we've seen worse

It's a cute episode overall 👍

THE KEEPERS OF THE AMULET

OKAY THE INTRO IS SO FREAKING COOL 🤩🤩🤩🤩

So Twitchy Tim has temporarily taken over Jay's role of spazzing out and complain about worse case scenarios... in another occasion they might have bonded over this, maybe 😂

Okay, survival position? MOOD

Nya: DRAGOOON 😱

Me: DRAGOOOOOOON 😍😍😍

Why am I not surprised that Jay was the one that named him Zippy? 💙 Also HE'S SO CUTE 💕💕💕 Love how in every adventure, we always get very different types of dragon in this show 👌 I'm a simple person, I see a dragon... 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Oh-oh, it's the "Lloyd's done with this crap"'s face

This means serious business... am I that used to LEGO characters that this way of crossing arms on the chest looks almost normal to me? 😅

Soooo, Master of the Mountain clearly gave Cole too much development... because now he got demoted to "the one who is always hungry" 🤦‍♀️ I'm all for Cole's endearing love for cakes, which is super relatable, but if you're gonna push it on his fun side, at least be coherent 🙃

Is it just me or it feels like the writing of this special was made by someone different from the one of season 13? Like, it's not bad, just less engaging and witty. For now. Maybe I'm being premature 🤷‍♀️

New way of nerfing powers, we got... weird, sucking power totem thingies... OKAY

My gosh I really can't say anything about the animation, look at that! It's all cinematic with such a light! YES!! 🤩

I'M SORRY

WHY ARE WE LOOKING OVER THIS??? IT LOOKS LIKE COLE'S LAVA PUNCHES BUT THEY ARE JAY LIGHTNING FEET??? IT'S A GREAT IDEA AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT AGAIN??? WHY ARE WE IGNORING THIS??? 💙💙💙💙

So they at least addressed that lightning isn't a Jay's thing only anymore 😅

Alright, Jay having a mental breakdown because of a bridge because it always breaks, that's the Bluebell I know and love 😂😂 Nya telling him to keep moving was cute too 💙❤💙❤

Okay, I'm sorry but this really bothers me, what kind of lightning can instantly knock out the MASTER OF LIGHTNING??? Like, my gosh, really??? I hope they give us an explanation, like it's some sort of special lightning, because this really doesn't sit right with me. Jay is lightning proof, we've seen it in Skybound, we've seen it in Sons of Garmadon, I DON'T BELIEVE HE WOULD JUST BE KNOCKED OUT LIKE THAT 😡😡😡

Soooooo, storm amulet? Being one with the lightning? Is that the reason why Jay got to be the sacrifice? 😅

THE GIFT OF JAY

Alright, I am kinda looking forward for this one, what did Bluebell actually say or do to get him into trouble this time 😂😂

Oh, he just... introduced himself... well that was underwhelming

SENSEI👏YOU👏ARE👏A👏FREAKING👏GOD👏STOP👏GETTING👏KIDNAPPED👏BY👏RANDOM👏VILLAINS👏

Bring ooooon Lloyd Grills 💪

Okay I did like the little speech, definitely resonates with how Lloyd survived this long even though everything wanted him to give up, even his father... I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING 😭

Jay out there making the real questions 😂

Awwww Edna used to call him gift of Jay? I can totally see it, so cute 💙💙 Makes even more sense if Libber actually left Jay at the Walkers' door...

Pff, Jay made the connection I would've done honestly 🤷‍♀️ Like, him being the master of lightning really didn't give these dudes any impression or inspiration? Any cool idea, full Road of El Dorado style? 🙃🙃

Lloyd out there abusing of the animation budget 💚💚💚

Somehow these ninja never actual sneak in, it's always a huge mess everyone knows about beforehand 😂 It's familiar though, I'm used to it and happy with it 👍

I might not be the biggest Misako fan, but you know what I am a fan of?

LEGO HUGS 😍😍😍😍😍

Dang it uncle Powers, you just got here to make a mess did you 😅

Not the first person of the fandom to say this, but Jay looks absolutely lovely with that flower crown 🌺🌺🌺

Oh poor greenie

Lloyd just has the worst luck 😓

Jay: Why would I be the gift?

Kai: Yeah who would want Jay?

Nya: Huh, me?? 😡

Got some very good Jaya for this little special, can't complain 💙❤💙❤

I mean, not matter how big of a snake Wojira might turn out to be, we've already seen the biggest and the second biggest snake of all so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Whoa, at last... IT WAS THE FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER THAT HAD SOMETHING HE SHOULD'VE TOLD WU A LONG TIME AGO!! 😱 Wu, you got pulled a Wu, how does it feel? 😂

Again, Jay freaking out, kinda my jam it's too funny 💙💙

Wow Kai way to be hominous offscreen 👏👏 I miss talking about my flame babe, this really isn't his time 🤷‍♀️

THE TOOTH OF WOJIRA

So when I first watched this I was genuinely, really excited about knowing the truth behind all this. It turned out very different from what I first thought, but at least in this case it's okay (besides I was pushing with the lightning meaning just to see Libber again 😅😅😅)

I feel like the guys get their powers stolen or blocked so much it takes them a minute to remember "Oh wait I can literally burn my way out" 🤷‍♀️

SPINJITZU YAY 🤩

I... forgot that Misako knows how to fight 😅 She knows how to do spinjitzu too if I remember correctly...

NYA BEING LIKE "OUT OF THE WAY IMMA SAVE MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN" ❤💙❤💙

Gotta love how they were all crazy worried about Jay, like, this is something that never changes through the show. They really care so so much for each other 💕💕💕

Ooohhhh, okay, so Wojira does seem to be the main villain of next season according to the story. I remember Tommy saying that we needed to have faith and this is probably why. The special was okay, nothing too much, and hopefully that too much we will see in Nya's season 😍😍😍

What the- pff, I didn't notice this the first time 😂

At this point I can't tell if that one short with the chicken of the movie carried a hate or a love for chickens in the actual show 😂😂

Nice to see Jay standing up for himself at least for a little while 💪 Also Lloyd being "He's our trouble", aww family 💜

THERE IT IS

MY BRUISE HEART IS SOARING 🖤💙🖤💙

Gotta give props to the voice actors, voicing an explanation while fighting must be pretty hard! WE ARE BLESSED WITH AN AMAZING CAST!!! 🤩🤩🤩

And there he is, our favorite jerk... shaved Ronin 😂 He does look a little weird, but it's fair, new animation and all. Not the weirdest until now 🤷‍♀️

I genuinely had to make a mental check to see where we are with Ronin now, like, he started as a villain, then a partner, he betrayed us, became an ally, he hunted the ninja, then joined them, that timeline was erased, he was around in SoG and... wow this man is chaotic 😂😂

Yaaaay, Twitchy's last minute redemption act! Lloyd is too good at motivational speeches 👏👏

A bit of Lava OTP/BrOTP

Cause it's good for the heart ❤🖤❤🖤

Okay, Scooby doo reference, why not? Also honestly, I'm confident Ronin has seen A LOT of jails and prisons... probably won't stay behind bars for long 😅

Mammatus: sorry for imprisoning you and almost killing your friend

Kai: no biggie, that's how we make friends in this show

Alright the "And Clutch Powers" gag made me chuckle 😂 ... wait where is he- DANG IT UNCLE POWERS

Okay, this is the last time I say it I promise, but I mean. I MEAN

THE ANIMATION GUYS 😍😍😍

Aaaaand sensei you jinxed it 😅 But you apparently awakened Nya's season so I'm gonna forgive you on this one 😉

FINAL THOUGHTS

There are a few little details that bothered me a little, and it wasn't as exciting as I maybe hoped it was going to be, but it was fine. Enjoyable still. These characters make me like the show, even when it got nothing too impactful 🤷‍♀️

But I got triggered about that lightning thing with Jay 😅 I guess I'll just fanfic whatever I had in mind...

Don't have to repeat myself about the animation *chef's kiss*

The writing was really less engaging, a little normal in a way? Idk just a feeling. Nice to see Ronin again though, I really like him. And nice to see Jay freaking out, I really like that too 😂

To be honest I wanted to put down my thoughts on this one because I REALLY wanna do the same with Nya's season 🤩🤩 I already know that Maya is gonna be there and I am so HAPPY already!!! 💙💙💙

So that's it from me! Thank you for reading me ranting, see you next season! 😊

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violetsmoak · 5 years ago

Text

Appetence [11/?]

AO3 Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251420/chapters/47997634

Blanket Disclaimer

Summary: Red Robin is investigating the disappearance of a friend and stumbles into a spot of supernatural trouble. He doesn’t expect to be saved by Jason Todd, miraculously alive five years after his death and now with the inexplicable ability to commune with the dead. Meanwhile, when Jason returned to Gotham he meant to maintain a low profile and not get involved with Bat business. That was before he found out how hot his Replacement is.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: #haunting #paranormal investigator

First Chapter

Beta Reader: I’ll get back to you on that.

Author’s Note: I decided to upload this today instead of tomorrow as I have a final paper due Friday and if I'm gonna concentrate on finishing it and not writing fanfic, I need to put this up now :P Enjoy the BatFam feels.

________________________________________________________________

A day later and Jason is still stewing in anger—and, if he’s being honest—a bit of hurt. Even after reuniting, even after listening to what Jason had to say, and trying to get him to come home—Bruce still can’t be convinced to deal with the Joker.

Or at the very least stand aside and let Jason do it.

It’s like he’s trying to protect my non-existent virtue or some kind of innocence I never really had.

Does Bruce even actually remember him anymore? Or has he built up some false memory in his head that’s turned the boy Jason was into some clone of Dick?

The obvious, adult way of finding out would be to drive over to the manor and go for Round Two in confronting Bruce, but that’s a journey he’s not ready to take yet. Especially since the emotionally stunted man child that is the Dark Knight might take that as Jason coming to grovel for forgiveness, which just…no.

It’s decided. Jason will sit and sulk in his office and pretend Bruce and all of his Bat-drama doesn’t exist. He has work to do, anyhow.

The phone rings and Jason smirks.

“Like I said,” he tells himself smugly and picks it up, leaning back in his chair with his feet on the desk. “Beyond Investigations, Victor Shelley speaking.”

“First of all, you have a really warped sense of humor choosing that as your civilian identity,” a familiar voice tells him, and Jason’s stomach flips a little as he nearly slides off his chair.

“Well, if it isn’t my esteemed former stalker,” he drawls, then winces because it’s not exactly his best line. “You can’t tell me it’s not funny, in the gallows kind of way.”

“If you wanted gallows, I’m surprised you didn’t go with Vlad Stoker,” Tim Drake remarks.

“That would be cliché. And Stoker’s overrated. Also, he once demanded all the gay writers be imprisoned, which ain’t cool,” Jason replies with an easy enjoyment. “But I doubt you’re calling to talk early horror literature with me. Gotta say, it’s the first time I’ve ever waited more than two days for someone to call me when I give them my number.”

Shit. That was a little more flirting than he intended.

“That leads to second of all,” Tim says, either missing the innuendo or ignoring it completely. “Care to explain why, after you asked me not to say anything to B about you being here, you ratted me out to him?”

That’s…not what he was expecting. Jason sits up, suddenly serious. “Ratted you out? What are you talking about?”

“He came back home after that thing downtown with Freeze yesterday completely shaken because he ran into you, and apparently you let it slip that I knew you were back and didn’t tell anyone.”

There’s more than a little irritation in Tim’s voice there, and Jason’s heart picks up a bit in worry. He thinks back to the encounter the night before, trying to figure out when he would have outed Tim. He can’t think of anything.

Then he remembers his parting words.

The blood rushes to his face.

If Bruce figured out he was talking about Tim with such a throwaway comment, he worries what else he might have inferred.

Don’t think about it too closely. Worry about putting Tim in his crosshairs.

He groans. “Sorry, my bad.”

“Apparently I should have been the one asking for a week’s grace,” Tim goes on dryly.

“Honestly, I wasn’t thinking,” Jason tells him. “Talkin’ to B always gets my blood pressure up, and then my mouth just starts to run.”

“No kidding.”

“He didn’t give you too much trouble, did he?”

There’s a pause, and then, “No more than normal. A couple of years ago that sort of thing would have really messed with my head, but these days I can deal.”

“What happened a couple of years ago?”

Tim pauses again, and even though Jason can’t sense auras or ghosts through telephone lines, he’s pretty sure that the dark aura constantly surrounding the younger man is behind that.

“Let’s just say I learned that Brue can be myopic about certain things,” Tim says at last. “Either he’s entirely focused on what’s right in front of him, or some arbitrary future end game. He doesn’t really…absorb the things that happen between those two points.”

Jason blinks. “That’s a scary kind of accurate.”

“That’s what I do. I think and I know things.”

Jason can’t hold back a scoff.

“Did you…did you just misquote Game of Thrones?”

Tim lets out a somewhat startled laugh. “I guess I did. Totally unintentional, I promise. Although, you get points for catching it.”

“Points for what? Is there a prize?”

“Even if there was, I’d be keeping it. I’m still ticked off at you for telling on me to B.”

“And I still feel bad about that. I owe you a drink.”

No, no you don’t. No drinks, no nothing. Off-limits, remember?

“Still not old enough to drink, Jason,” Tim replies, voice sounding less irritated and weary and more…amused? Fond even?

Then he hangs up, leaving Jason staring at the receiver of his phone in puzzled frustration.

“This isn’t going to end well for me, is it?”

“No,” Sheila tells him from where she’s lingering across the room, “it’s not.”

Jason lets his head fall onto his desk.

With the ice now broken with Tim and Bruce (or at least as broken as it can get given the latter’s inability to process anything resembling emotions), Jason pretty knows his days of privacy are likely at an end.

He completely expects the requisite visitations of various Family members who will no doubt have been told he’s alive.

Both the ones I knew and the one I didn’t…

If he weren’t pretending indifference, he would have expected Dick to be the first to show up, all passion and anger. He doesn’t have many memories of his predecessor-slash-older-brother-figure where he wasn’t furious about something—almost always Bruce related. To Jason, he only seemed to have two settings: coddling and wanting to pick a fight.

Jason’s not sure which of those he wants to encounter just now.

Turns out his intuition about Dick being his first visit is completely off.

Instead, he wakes one night from a dead sleep by a sense of presence, both physical and spectral.

There’s a kid standing at the edge of his futon, swathed in Robin’s colors but with the aura of a predator lying in wait. He can’t be more than twelve, and there’s just something about the set of his shoulders and clench of his jaw that screams Bruce.

He’s also not alone.

Outside the open window that the kid obviously used to break in, a ghostly figure in a voluminous green robe looms, hissing imprecations at Jason’s wards from the decapitated head it holds in its hands.

Jason blinks, intrigue cutting through his sleep-dulled senses. Considering the kid is Talia’s, he obviously has some League of Assassins training. Given that, Jason would have expected there to be a lot more ghosts following the kid around. Either he hasn’t killed very many people beyond the one by the window, or the ones he has didn’t leave anything unfinished.

Either way, this brat’s dangerous.

“You know who I am?” Robin challenges although it’s more a statement of fact.

“Chip off the old block is what you are,” Jason grumbles, sitting up—slowly, in case the hard-looking kid thinks he’s about to try something. He’d rather not get into another Wayne beatdown so soon after his encounter with Bruce. “Did he actually teach you the menacing-people-in-the-dark thing, or is it genetic?”

“What is your purpose for returning to Gotham?” the boy demands, ignoring the question.

“Best chili dogs in the world,” Jason shoots back, reaching for the small table beside his fold-out bed and the carton of cigarettes there.

“Stow your flippant remarks, Todd, I will have my answer whether you give it voluntarily or after I’ve loosened a few of your teeth.”

“Big words for someone probably still losing their own baby teeth. What are you, six?”

“I won’t tolerate any attempts to shove your way back into Father’s life,” the boy insists. “We already have one failure lingering about where he shouldn’t be, no need for a second.” He pauses, tilts his head to one side, and his mouth pulls into a cold smirk. “Or rather, you were the first, weren’t you?”

Jason narrows his eyes. “You know there’s a headless guy in a green curtain following you around, right? I’d think really hard about what B considers a failure before throwing that word at other people.”

The kid’s mouth goes white around the edges—touchy subject, apparently—and moves into a crouch like he’s about to dive across the room. He pauses though, fingers touching his hear, and then scowls.

“That Daddy calling you out for missing curfew?” Jason prods.

“This isn’t over!” the kid snaps, and then like he’s making a point, whips a Batarang at Jason’s face.

By the time Jason’s reached up to catch it, the brat and his ghost have vanished.

“Well, that was fun,” Jason mutters, bemused and confident he won’t be getting back to sleep any time soon.

He spends the rest of the night and early morning first checking emails and then researching. John sent him a bunch of information on kodoku, the technique Jason couldn’t remember in conjunction with the thing attracting negative energy to Tim.

It’s not exactly what he was thinking of, but even if it doesn’t help him figure out that conundrum, it might offer an inkling or two of how to deal with the ever-present Joker problem.

Need to read up on it more before I can know for sure.

His stomach growls and he decides to table it for now. There’s a 24-hour breakfast place down the street actually does bangers and mash, which he’s been craving since leaving London.

Instead, there’s a knock at the door.

Guess I’m putting off breakfast for a bit longer. Oh well. Potential client.

Jason forces himself to put on a normal, welcoming face and goes to open the door.

What he doesn’t expect to find is a certain English butler standing in the shitty hallway just outside his office, with a bulky canvas bag in his arms and a disapproving look on his face that only just falters as their eyes meet.

It’s as if the air has been punched out of Jason’s lungs because if there’s anyone he has missed than anyone else since he’s been away, it’s Alfred.

“Master Jason,” the older man says, somehow managing to keep his voice from wavering, and god, he sounds the same. “I am sure in instilled at least a rudimentary etiquette into you as a boy. Therefore, you can imagine my disappointment upon learning you have been in Gotham for several weeks now and did not come to call at the manor.”

Jason can’t hold back the slightly hysterical chuckle at that, because trust Alfred to act like he’s been on some kind of extended vacation, instead of six feet under and insane. Yet, it doesn’t feel as dismissive or repressing as it would from Bruce.

“You know me, Alf,” he says through a suddenly dry mouth. “That stuff never took.”

“So it would seem.”

They exchange looks, both sizing up the other and then Alfred raises an eyebrow. Jason shakes his head like a sleepwalker and indicates the older man should come in.

Alfred moves smoothly across the threshold of the tiny office, frowning at the disarray (and mostly at the futon).

“Given the fact you’ve only recently, er, moved in, I thought it best to arrive with provisions.”

He sets the paper bag down on Jason’s desk and removes a box containing a hot plate, a kettle and what appears to be a package of tea. Though his back is turned, there’s a tension in his shoulders and a minor tremor that, when Jason cranes his head, he realizes are from shaking hands.

When Alfred turns around, Jason can’t hold back from reaching over and enveloping him in a hug.

It’s so different from the awkward thing with Bruce, and even though Alfred has never been the hugging type, he holds Jason just as tightly.

They stay like that for several moments, before Alfred speaks again, his voice tense like he’s speaking around a lump in his throat. “You have certainly grown into your various limbs, my boy.”

“Yeah…yeah, I guess I did…”

Jason tells Alfred everything.

He doesn’t skip any of the details the way he did with Tim and, to an extent, with Bruce. Because the fact is, he doesn’t know Tim, not really, and he knows Bruce too well. Alfred won’t look at him with pity or as something damaged; there’s pain in the way he watches Jason, but also an overwhelming and unquestionable relief.

Alfred isn’t one to cry, but his eyes gleam wetly as Jason relates how he woke in his coffin and the trial of digging himself out.

“I didn’t remember it for a while,” he admits. “Mostly it’s what comes back in nightmares. I guess it’s so clear because it’s the only thing that happened to me for another year. I was in a coma for about as long.”

“And no one knew who you were,” Alfred murmurs dully. “Everyone thought you were already dead.”

“…yeah.”

“My dear boy…if we had known…”

“Can’t change the past, Alf,” Jason shrugs, trying to play it off. “And even if you had known, I wasn’t me for a long time. Wouldn’t have wanted you to go through that.”

“And yet…somehow, you rallied,” Alfred says, determined. “You recovered.”

“I guess you could say that,” Jason says with a bitter twist of the mouth. “Not sure people would call seeing ghosts ‘recovered’.” He exhales. “I do see ‘em, Alf—all the time. I didn’t know what it was I the beginning, and…that made things harder. I was so out of it; I couldn’t tell when I was talking to someone alive or someone dead. Everyone at the hospitals thought I was insane. Bet you can guess what happened next.”

“Master Timothy…was reluctant to tell me when I asked,” the old man admits. “I’m astounded anyone in the system would have thought Arkham of all places was the appropriate place for you.” He clenches his fists together, no doubt imagining using them on whoever made that particular decision. “But Mr. Constantine, he rescued you?”

“Yeah,” Jason leans back, crossing his arms. “If he hadn’t shown up, I’d still be rotting away there. It was completely by chance, too. An old mate of his called in a favor with him, wanted to prove his sister was possessed and not bat-shit crazy.” Alfred shoots him a reprimanding look and Jason shrugs. “Sorry. Anyway, turns out she was crazy. John was keen to get out of there as soon as possible and happened to pass my room on the way out—he heard me talking to one of my many spectral roommates. He could sense the energy and when he went to look, he could see ‘em too.”

“And thus discovered that your supposed insanity was not quite so clear-cut,” Alfred determines, looking a mite triumphant.

“Not exactly. I’d been driven almost beyond the point of no return by then. If I’d been there much longer, it’d have been too late. But John could tell I was a medium. He decided I wasn’t supposed to be there and busted me out—then decided it’d be dangerous to let me wander around on my own like that. Been with him ever since. Three years of trying to heal what that asshat clown did to my brain and train myself not to lose it when I get rushed by a stampede of dead people.”

“Then I can only be grateful to him,” Alfred says. “Should you speak to Mr. Constantine in the near future, do tell him he will always have a place to stay at the manor should he need it.”

Jason laughs. “I don’t see him coming out this way any time soon. And I doubt B would be open to that arrangement.”

“You let me worry about Master Bruce. As for you—is there any point in reminding you that you also have a place to stay should you tire of this…urban setting?”

“This is my home, Alf,” Jason replies, at least halfway apologetic. “The manor might have...become that if I’d been there longer. Maybe.” He spares a moment’s thought for the little boy that wanted nothing more than to become Batman when he grew up. “But not now. I’m too—I’ve got my own mission now.”

Alfred nods, mouth turned downward. Jason tries to pretend he doesn’t notice the sad gleam in his eye.

“In the hope that your mission is not so all-consuming as Master Bruce’s, I shall still keep a guestroom at the ready. I…suspect returning to your old room would harm more than heal.”

And this is why Jason always loved Alfred. He gets it. Even when he’s hoping for the impossible.

“Guess I can live with that,” Jason says.

“I do expect you to call for dinner at some point in the future. Perhaps not until you’re more settled. But surely you can sacrifice an hour or two for a pot roast dinner.”

Jason’s mouth immediately waters.

“Oh, that’s playing dirty, old man,” he tells him seriously.

“Having lived in Gotham this long, it’s hardly a surprise that I, too, can affect nefariousness when the occasion calls for it.” There’s a buzzing sound and Alfred digs into his pocket for his mobile phone and then heaves a sigh in a very familiar way. “Master Damian’s school. I’m afraid I must attend to this.”

“Ten o’clock and he’s already in trouble,” Jason whistles. “Beating my old record, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Alfred agrees seriously. He stands then, looks like he wants to hug Jason again but manages to keep control of himself this time. “Seeing you again is a gift, Master Jason. I hope you will allow me to impose on your hospitality again in the future?”

“You’re welcome here any time,” Jason says, warm and sincere. “I’m…it’s really good to see you again, Alf.”

The old man nods then continues to gaze at Jason a few beats longer, as if to make sure he really is seeing him, and then heads for the door. Jason sees him out, watches him until he vanishes around the corner, and then sags heavily against the doorpost to his office.

A bone-deep exhaustion that has nothing to do with sleep deprivation washes over him.

“'Stay under the radar’, I said,” he mutters to himself. “'Don’t let the Family know I’m here'. That was the plan. There was a reason for the plan…”

A reason that was supposed to guard against an estranged father and attractive replacement and loving butler.

(Well, to be fair, he didn’t know that ‘attractive replacement’ was on his list, but it clearly should have been.)

At least I got the really hard reunions out of the way. Except for Barbie, but I doubt she’d drag herself up a flight of stairs just to see me. Might be able to avoid that one a bit longer…

Honestly, he's kind of afraid of having to look Barbara Gordon in the eyes. There's so much pain between them, all caused by the same evil.

As it turns out, Jason’s next visitor is somehow more overwhelming. Or at least starts out that way.

He’s shuffling through the hallway to his door with a bag of take-out that evening, and suddenly the air becomes cold and suffocating. Jason winces, tries to breathe slow and measured against the cold.

“Whoever you are, can you just…stay where you are for a minute?” he grunts, fumbling with his keys to jimmy the door open. Silence is the only response, but he takes that as acquiescence.

Well, that’s rare. A creepy stalker that actually listens.

He practically falls into the office, the constricted sensation in his lungs vanishing as soon as he crosses the threshold.

Wards are still working. Good.

“Okay, you can come in now,” he says, putting his groceries on his desk and turning around.

He almost does a double-take.

The person that glides into his office is a small Asian girl, maybe an inch or two shorter than Tim, and deceptively dainty looking. Deceptive, because Jason can see the ghosts crowding the hallway behind her, clawing at the doorway and keening and cursing at her in a myriad of languages.

“How in the hell does someone that looks like you have that big a body count?” he asks, halfway between impressed and horrified.

The girl’s face remains blank, but her eyes skitter away, as if in shame. Jason immediately feels like a tool.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “Didn’t mean it that way. It’s just…you’re just a kid.”

“Older than you,” she tells him in clear but accented English. She cocks her head to one side, studying him in a way that is almost as invasive as any of the mind-readers he met while working for John. And then she smiles and says, “Little brother.”

Whatever he expected, that wasn’t it. Jason blinks.

“…What.”

She points to herself. “Cassandra. Wayne.”

“Wayne,” he repeats, and then makes the connection and snorts. “Of course. Most people collect stamps. B collects orphans.” He wanders over to his desk and sits down heavily. “What’d he bring you in for? Me, it was boosting tires off the Batmobile.”

Cassandra Wayne’s eyes widen in surprise and then sparkle with amusement and delight.

“So, what brings you here? Come to stare at the clan screw-up?”

“Curious,” she tells him.

“About?”

“They said you see…differently,” she says.

“That’s one way to put it.”

“It’s…comforting,” she says, hesitating on the word like she’s not sure it’s the right one.

“Why’s that?”

“I see different too.”

Jason eyes her, then the myriad ghosts lingering beyond the words. He nods, serious. “I bet you do.”

She smiles at him.

He kind of can’t help be charmed by her, despite the vicious insults being hurled at her by her ghostly entourage.

“Tell you what,” he says. “Close that door so I can hear myself think, and you can stay for supper. I’ve got too much for just me.” He nods at the bags which contain what was supposed to be both tonight’s meal and tomorrow’s lunch. “Not sure if you eat souvlaki, but—”

“I eat anything,” she replies and sits in one of the chairs by his desk.

“Same here,” Jason agrees, handing her one of the Styrofoam containers. “Just promise me you won’t eat it with a fork and knife.”

She makes a face. “I am not Bruce.”

“Thank the gods for small miracles…”

To Be Continued

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I want to know what you think of my story! Leave kudos, a comment or if writing comments isn’t something you’re comfortable with, as many of these (or other emojis) as you want and let me know how you feel!

❤️️ = I love this story! 😳 = this was hot! 💐 = thank you for sharing this 🍵 = tea spilled 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy! 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good! 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER 😢 = you got me right in the feels

Reblogging is also majorly appreciated!

#jaytimweek2019 #jaytimweek #jaytim #fanfic #prompt: supernatural #jaytim fic #drama #family #angst #supernatural #feels #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth #cassandra cain

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khadij-al-kubra · 6 years ago

Text

Thomas in Wonderland (ch 3)

Characters: Thomas (fictional), Virgil, Roman, Patton, Logan, Remy, Emile, Joan, Talyn, Deceit, Nate, The Dragon Witch, fan adopted short vid characters

Word Count: 1739

Summary: Thomas gets trolled by flowers and has a good cry

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! So happy to see that people are having fun with this story so far. I know i’m having a lot of fun writing it! Also big news is that I now have an AO3 account! So you can check this and other stories out there if you’d like. As always I am open to any writing critiques or tips you may have, and any likes, comments or reblogs would be immensely appreciated! Also please let me know if you would like to be tagged in future chapters for this fanfic or any of my other future writings. So last time, we were just entering a lovely garden...

Flowers & Floods

Thomas couldn’t say for sure how long he’d been walking for, since, he still couldn’t decipher the Black Rabbit’s watch, but at best guess probably a good 15-30 minutes. He wished there was more of that growing grape soda. Not only because it would’ve been nice to get back to his normal size (being so small got to be pretty disorienting after a while), but also he was really thirsty from walking so much.

“Maybe Talyn has a point about carrying a travel water bottle everywhere,” Thomas said to himself. “But carrying it around gets cumbersome. Plus it always bangs against your leg and then you get a little bruise on my thigh. Then again, if you had some water on you then maybe you wouldn’t feel so dehydrate and cranky now.”

He sagged a bit at his own reasoning, knowing he had a point. Was it worse to lose an argument with yourself or better?

“Well, at least it’s a beautiful day.” he mused to himself, trying to keep up his moral.

And it truly was lovely beyond that tiny door into this larger than life garden. The sapphire sky was bright overhead above the canopy of big grass blades, and the sun shone through the broad green leaved making them look like sheets of emerald. The soil beneath his sneakers was slightly soft, not enough to sink into and get stuck but it felt like a vacation for his tired feet. Clear drops of dew still lingering on the stems shimmered like crystal bobbles. Sure there was the occasional beetle crossing, but hey, at least there weren’t any spiders.

But oh, the flowers were by far the most beautiful part. There were so many different kinds, some he recognized others he didn’t. And their natural perfume gave off a heady aroma that was present yet not overwhelming. Their colors were so vibrant they almost looked like candy, yet Thomas could tell they would no doubt be velvety to the touch. And they were HUGE! True, that was only because he was tiny, but still.

Thomas sighed. “It’d be a lot more enjoyable if I actually knew where I was going.”

He still wanted to find the Black Rabbit, but only knew he’d come through this giant garden. There was no way else he could have gone. If there was actually a path then Thomas was too small to see it. There was a chance he might’ve already been on it, but from way down to the ground he had no way of knowing for sure. Thomas had hoped that by keeping straight (heh) he’d eventually get somewhere, but there was nothing around that told him where anywhere was. No people. No signs. Nothing.

“It’s too bad I can’t just ask the flowers for directions,” Thomas said. “Bet they could tell me where I am. Not that flowers can talk.”

“Oi! Who says we can’t talk?”

“GAH!” Thomas jumped back, started by hearing a voice other than his own for the first time since the Black Rabbit. “Who said that?”

“Up here ya twat!”

“And over here.”

“And here.”

The voices had Thomas turning in circles. Finally he decided to follow the first one’s advice to look up and his jaw dropped. He was staring into the face of a petunia. As in the flower literally had a face with eyes and a mouth and all.

“Wha-was that…you?” Thomas asked.

“Well of course it was me, who else?” Judging by the pout and the way its petals bent to rest on its stem, it appeared to be a properly put out Petunia.

“And me!” said an Iris.

“And me,” said a Tiger Lily

“And me too,” said a Daisy.

“Me, me! Pay attention to me!” said a Rose.

Thomas could only gape as the flowers around drooped down around him, their eyes scrutinizing every inch of him harder than a live stream audience. One part of his brain told him to close his mouth and that it was rude to stare. Another part of his brain told him HOLY HECK! THESE FLOWERS CAN TALK!?!? He went with the latter thought.

“HOLY HECK, YOU FLOWERS CAN TALK!?”

“Well of course we can talk,” said the Iris. “What ever made you think we couldn’t? That’s pretty presumptuous of you.”

“Well it’s just, flowers don’t typically talk where I’m from.”

“Umm why does this little sprout assume we’re all flowers?” said a Dandelion. “You don’t think weeds should be proud of who they are?”

“Oh! Well of course you can,” said Thomas. “I didn’t mean to offend any plant.”

Of all the things that had happened so far to Thomas today, this was by far the most curious. Who would’ve thought that a bunch of would flowers could be so, well, mean? Still, they were the only ones around who could possibly help him, so he took a breath to calm his growing headache and put on a friendly face.

“Actually, I was wondering if you lovely, uh, flora could help me. See, I’m looking for a Black Rabbit. He passed through here and I have—“

“So what sort of a plant are you anyway?” asked the Petunia.

“It doesn’t look like a flower,” said the Iris. “Where are its petals? It’s not a real flower if it doesn’t have colorful petals.”

“Its colors are so dull,” said the Daisy.

“Oh, uh, I’m not a plant. I’m a person. My name is Thomas and I—”

“Tho-mas,” said the Tiger Lily. “That’s a pretty stupid name for a plant species, don’t you think? Why not be creative and come up with something more original?”

“Well that’s my name and I happen to like it. And I’ll have you know that I can be very creative, at least I think—“

“Do you really need to brag so much?” asked the Petunia. “It just makes plants like you desperate, fishing for likes and compliments.”

Thomas huffed. “Listen, I just need to know where—“

“That’s the ugliest flower I’ve ever seen,” said the Rose.

“Oh my gosh, I’ll bet it doesn’t even get pruned,” said the Tiger Lily

These plants were really getting on his last nerve. “Look I’m kinda lost here! I-I had a hard day, am super small, and I’d really like to get back to my regular size—“

“Well not all of us have a choice of whether or not we can grow bigger,” said the Dandelion. “Or even grow prettier.”

“Could you just please—”

“Yeah, that’s pretty selfish of you dontcha think?”

“Is this even a real plant?”

“Maybe you should check your privilege.”

That was it! “GGNNHHAAAAAAAA!!!!”

Thomas ran away from the barrage of critical flowers as fast as he could. He didn’t pay attention to the direction, only knowing that he had to get away from all those harsh comments. He ran and ran through the garden until his aching calves screamed at him to stop. Finally he plopped down on a dirt mount in the middle of an open field to rest.

Well that’s just great. Thomas thought as he caught his breath. Now I’m tired, thirsty, I’ve got a headache, those flowers were NO help at all, and I’m STILL lost! It wasn’t like like Thomas couldn’t take a healthy dose of constructive criticism, but those plants were being just would not let up with their mean words. Like what did he ever do to them? He could feel the stress of his day so far, from the writers block to the fall to now, building up so much that there was only one thing he could do.

Thomas let himself have a good cry, because gosh darn it, men could cry too!

He cried and cried, felt the teardrops billow over down his cheeks. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t at normal size, but he could feel the salty tears taking up more space on his face, as though they were Studio Ghibli style tears. Once he started, Thomas just couldn’t seem to stop crying. He felt silly for making such a big fuss like this, letting all those hurtful comments get to him even though none of it was true. The embarrassment of this only made him cry even more. Thomas was so in the throes of letting out his pent up emotions that he didn’t realize he was creating a puddle around himself. Which turned into a small pond, which turned into a sizeable lake, until finally the water was up to his shoulders.

“Oh no!” Thomas cried out. “Oh great, now look at the mess I’ve made!”

Thomas still could not stop crying, but he was in enough possession of his faculties that he started to doggy paddle so as not to drown in his own river of tears he was making. At least it wasn’t the ocean, although the water was certainly salty enough to seem like one. Thomas never did well in open waters, and the fear seemed to kick in the fight aspect of his anxiety. Thomas mentally pulled himself together enough that he was only sniffling now, and he focused his body to keep swimming.

After ten or fifteen swimmers strokes he realized that there was really no need to swim so hard. The river of tears carried him along smoothly, and he could just let himself float. It was a big relief and frankly one of the few helpful things that had happened to him so far. It was a nice change to get his bearings.

“Boy, I really let myself get carried away with all that crying, huh?” Hehe. Dad joke. “I’ve gotta say though, I do feel better. I guess sometimes you’ve just gotta let it all out. And by the looks of it, I had a LOT to let out!

He only hoped that he hadn’t accidentally drowned out all those flowers back in the garden. Even if they probably deserved it, the thorny twigs. Last time he would let a bunch of attention seeking flowers get to him. And sure, he was still kind of lost and unsure of whether or not he was still heading towards the same direction as the Black Rabbit had been going. But at least he was still going in a direction. Thomas was optimistic that eventually he’d come across the furry fella again.

But I can’t keep floating along like this forever.

<=PREV

NEXT=>

Tag List: @thatsthat24 @quoth-the-sparrow @altruistic-skittles @em-be-lievable @justisaisfine @broadwaytheanimatedseries @thekeytohappiness-is-you @jynxlovesluck @queer-human-being @phlying-squirrel @ab-artist @grey-lysander @a-valorous-choice @xx-fandom-potato-xx @impatentpending @book-of-charlie @randomslasher @tinkslittlebelle @insanelycoolish @ironwoman359 @icecoldparadise @bluebloodstains @purpleshipper @patchworkofstars @axyzel @hissesssss @beautifully-terribly @pink-and-purple-flowers @thatsanswitch @6tick6tock6 @hanramz-the-fander @azlinne @helplesscreator @thestoryofme13 @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah @accidental-sanders @moonstone-fox @smokeyrutilequartz @madly-handsome @puns-and-patton @notveryglittery @eequalsmcscared @safesandersides @lizziepopanime @anxiously-unsatisfied-world @unikornavenger @fuck-my-life-i-want-food @backatthebein @mephonic @paperghastly @ravenclawangst @iamtrashcans @loganberrysanders @icequeenoriginal @ierindoodles @a-new-witch-in-learning @punsterterry @mycatshuman @to-precious-to-process @amazable01 @monstercupcake61176 @pinkbea09 @aliceofscarletflames @llamaavocado @justsomerandomhooman @romano-cheesy @grade-a-trash-blog @chituri @dangerfishie @bat-fangirl77-fan @icantbeme71097 @thesassiersilv101 @the-psycho-pie @satanblessi @elementalshadowwitch @stuck-in-a-surrealist-painting @journalanxiety @atomics-writings @notcool88 @purplelamaart @stuck-in-a-constant-daydream @thunderstorms-roar @sanderssidesstuff @wheezewhats-life @sillydeer-39 @starbucks-remy @sugarglider9603

#KDsWriting #Thomas in Wonderland AU #thoams sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #emile picani #remy sanders #joan and talyn #nate sanders #dragon witch #sanders sides #sanders sides fandom #famders

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blackjacketmuses · 5 years ago

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hc; og dante 12

In honor of @dwellsinme who inspired me with her HC to post mine, because I’ve had it but haven’t gotten around to actually posting about it.

Dante - my Dante - is very much ADHD.

It’s kind of a tossup whether his nature as a hybrid has anything to do with it (see: PJO series), but he is definitely, definitely ADHD and has been since he was a kid. Unfortunately, in the late 70s-early 80s, neurodivergence wasn’t as big or talked about a concept, so no one really had any idea, and Dante’s so detached from the normal human life at this point it’s probably never come up and never will. He functions....as well as one would expect with that on top of cPTSD and depression, but, yknow, he manages. So it’s never been a real, true problem. Drove his parents and teachers crazy as a little, and definitely drives people crazy now, but...that’s just how Dante is.

I’m gonna go into more detail under a cut just because long post incoming:

To start I’m just gonna drop a list of symptoms here, so you can kinda see what I’m getting at: bolding is mine, and is the symptoms Dante visibly explicitly shows and expresses (for the record, he definitely has combined type, which has symptoms of both inattentive and hyperactive)---

Inattentive type:

Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another

Have difficulty maintaining focus on one task

Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless doing something they find enjoyable

Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing or completing a task

Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities

Appear not to be listening when spoken to

Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly

Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others

Struggle to follow instructions

Have trouble understanding details; overlooks details

Hyperactive type:

Fidget or squirm a great deal

Talk nonstop

Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight

Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and while doing homework

Be constantly in motion

Have difficulty performing quiet tasks or activities

Be impatient

Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences

Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turn in games

Often interrupt conversations or others' activities

Okay, so maybe he leans a lot heavier into hyperactive type, but, I mean. Watch him doing stuff, especially in 3 and 4 --- he’s definitely very easily distracted, doesn’t seem to listen a lot, and focus is only kept when he’s really interested in something, otherwise he super ignores it. And details? Ha! What are those, he just jumps in and does things.

As for the hyperactive symptoms, I don’t think I need to point out many specific instances, it’s...we all see it. He’s constantly running his mouth, constantly in motion, constantly moving, playing with things, bouncing on his feet, fidgeting, fighting, moving a lot as he fights...I mean look at him playing with every single new toy he gets immediately, and especially look at him with Cerberus. He’s loud, he’s present, he’s very impatient --- we see that a lot in 3 re: puzzles and locks --- and honestly he’s very good at interrupting people. Not to mention that thing about saying inappropriate things, and being unable to restrain emotions or actions? Definitely Dante, demonstrably so.

Other symptoms Dante definitely has --- and this is speaking as me, an ADHD person, who sees a lot of my bullshit in Dante --- are:

MOTIVATION ISSUES (don’t @ me Vergil): Look at this guy, he can’t or won’t do anything that doesn’t click into his interests (and even then!!) unless he gets pushed or bullied or bribed into it. He needs to be given a significant and heavy reason to get up and do shit, otherwise he’ll just sit around or blow it off and claim pickiness. And sure, he is picky --- because specific criteria on What Will Interest Him is another ADHD thing!! --- but man, even then, you can see in the anime he has to be pushed out the door to get shit done sometimes. This is clearly contributing to his broke situation. And when he’s Depressed it’s worse, look at the state of his office in 5!!

REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA: Now this one isn’t quite as obvious, because he’s REALLY GOOD at pretending he’s fine, but he really does not cope well with being yelled at/rejection/being pushed away by people, especially people he likes. That’s a mood. This was worse by far when he was a kid, and is part of why he’s such a pushover and can easily be bullied into doing things for people he likes or people he wants to like him. He doesn’t want to be rejected or criticized, so time to do what they want me to! No problem, no argument!

SLEEP PROBLEMS: Either he is like LOOK MA NO SLEEP I CAN DO THIS ALL WEEK or he’s sleeping constantly and looking like Rip Van fucking Winkle. Now this does overlap with the depression, but ADHD internal clocks are borked to hell and back, too, so his sleep schedule and how much/little he sleeps is just. What even. How.

TIME PROBLEMS: Either something is Now or it is Not Now and if it is Not Now it is not worth caring about or worrying about.

IMPULSE CONTROL: As mentioned above, but with the added problem of “what is delayed gratification I don’t know her”, and needing rewards for what he’s doing Now Please Thanks.

DECISION MAKING: When confronted with difficult decisions, either you a) freeze because AAHHHH TOO MUCH or b) just Do Something because panic without thinking. Also what the FUCK is a plan, there are no plans, plans don’t exist.

BOREDOM IS EVIL: No being bored, ever, oh god, nope, fuck that cannot be bored boredom is the devil and causes BAD BAD THINGS. Must always be doing things, needs entertainment, needs stimulation or will quickly devolve into a lump on the couch. If thing is boring, will NOT do it, nope, fuck that.

CHILDLIKE BEHAVIOR: Like whew. I mean. Local 42yo man acts like a 10yo boy pretending to be an 80s action hero like in the movies, constantly, as if he thinks that mimicking that is how Adults Are. And just, generally acting like an enormous child.

WEIRD KID: Just...generally coming off as weird or different or Outside The Norm, not good with normal human social cues and responses to things, acts weird and like an outcast and doesn’t seem to quite fit in with normal people.

FIXATIONS: Pizza pizza pizza NEVER GET BORED OF PIZZA I COULD EAT PIZZA EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE also sundaes.

MUSIC...GOOD: This is more subjective, but Dante’s thing with music strikes me as a thing mostly because I am that person who NEEDS TO BE LISTENING TO MUSIC ALL THE TIME HOLY SHIT, I CANNOT STAND IF THERE IS NO BACKGROUND NOISE TO MY LIFE. I get so antsy I want to jump off a cliff when there’s no background noise/music in the car and I Need music on to do anything; but at the same time I can’t listen to podcasts or videos because music I just tune out and it’s There, Good, Wonderful, but if it’s something to concentrate on with Words To Understand, it is BAD and it needs Full Focus or I Don’t Hear SHIT. So, yeah, that too.

NON SEQUITURS EVERYWHERE: You know that THING where topic A comes up and in your head you jump ahead five things in a way only you understand, and then you speak up and bring up topic F out of nowhere because YOU got to it in your head but everyone else is like what the fuck, so you kinda shut up or laugh it off? Yeah. Also that other feel when you’re still on topic B but the rest of the group went on to topic C or D and you’re internally screaming because NO I STILL HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY GET BACK HERE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS VOLUME CONTROL THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE I’M NOT SHOUTING????: Self explanatory.

BAD AT HEARING THINGS: Needs VERY specific instructions, but also things need repeating a lot because he’s quick to accidentally tune stuff out.

READING: Trouble reading LONG blocks of text. Magazines Good, short articles Good.

Local Man Laughs At Own Jokes, WHAT THEY’RE FUNNY

MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING: He did this more as a kid, but it still applies; local child looks like he’s just kind of vibrating quietly but otherwise paying attention? NOPE he’s having an epic adventure in his head and is not listening to a word. Vergil will tell him later if it’s important.

THE LEG BOUNCE: Speaking of, he CANNOT SIT STILL. He’s at the MINIMUM rocking in his seat or bouncing his foot or tapping his fingers, sometimes as chords to a guitar but other times just taptaptap.

Stopping What Is Stopping, or alternatively, HOW TO START EVEN IDK.

Getting/being increasingly SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE but just sitting there with a smile while internally going AAAAAAAAAAAAA in increasing volume, because you have no idea how to disengage.

Things not immediately in view or immediately important Cease To Exist Entirely.

Related, visual exhaustion aka I HAVE LIVED WITH THIS MESS SO LONG THAT THE MESS IS BACKGROUND NOISE AND DOES NOT EXIST TO ME, I NO LONGER SEE IT, IT IS SCENERY.

Is the only member of this family who can drink caffeine, ADHD cancels the effect out.

Actually Pretty Goddamn Smart, but the disconnect of not having any education after 5th grade and that GOOD GOOD RSD thanks to bitchy clients kicked in and he internalized that he’s dumb now oops, might as well not try. See Also That Good Good RSD RE: bitchy dates, guess he’s just A Terrible Date, whoops, gonna just Not do that anymore. Basically if enough people give him shit about a thing, guess he’s just NOT gonna do that thing anymore!! Yep!!!

Bad at doing things The Proper Way, procedures and rules and bureaucracy are BORING GOTTA GET STUFF DONE NOW MY WAY. Never showed his work in math ever.

Actually really smart, but got in trouble a lot for lack of visibly paying attention, being unable to sit still in class, and not following instructions. He could do the work and do it right, with or without listening to the lecture, but because he did it on his own terms and by his own rules, even if he got the right answer, he got in trouble. RSD convinced him later in life he was an idiot, but he still is really good at out of the box thinking and figuring shit out with limited information.

Gets Frustrated, Stops Doing Thing (or IMPULSIVITY ACTIVATE FORM OF DOING STUPID SHIT TO GET THING DONE)

Bad habit of WORRY when understimulated, also tendency towards insecurity, this is made WORSE x100 by his PTSD. Not to mention a bit of chronic low self esteem because of most of the above.

Low self esteem feeds into really bad self-awareness; he really doesn’t quite understand or process the effects he has on people, for good or ill.

ADDICTIVE!! BEHAVIOR!!! (see: The Booze)

Stopping this here because a) you get my point by now and b) I’M going full ADHD on fixating on this post so I’m cutting myself off here. Anyway, yeah. There’s this.

#;hc: dante (og)

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kapanbenernya · 6 years ago

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Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide 2 -- Extreme Rat Extermination Service

So not long ago, my friend told me about another game on steam that he wanted me to check out. The game in question was Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide 2. He said it’s some kind of four player co-op game like Left 4 Dead 2. Actually he needn’t explain the game to me because I actually owned Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide, the game that came before this one. I remembered buying it years ago and unable to actually play it until years later because my PC and my internet could not support the game. Actually now that I think about it, I still never get to really play it because nobody is still interested in the game. You know what? Let’s forget everything I said about it and refocus on Vermin 2.

Yeah, I’m just gonna call it Vermin 2, the full game’s name is too fucking long

In Vermin 2, you are some guy/elf/dwarf living in some Victorian Era London type of world fighting giant rats and buff white dudes. This very basic and very unrepresentative description of the world and the lore of the game might just net me an invitation to the chopping block by the Warhammer fanboys, but I don’t care. Look, it’s a Warhammer lore okay, so cheat-sheet's probably there’s a god or some gods with their respective cults and war happens, hopefully involving hammers. Here’s what I can gather from the prologue: a rat guy and some lovechild between a viking and an orc wants to open a portal to somewhere not good, and our heroes must stop them.

Warriors from the northern region with horned helmets? Wonder where the inspiration came from

Our heroes are a ragtag band of five people which includes a soldier with kickass facial hair, a religious nutter, a fire witch, a scottish elf-woman, and discount Gimli. The gang was formed in the events of the first game which I have absolutely no idea how it happened because I didn’t play it, and I have no intention of checking the lore. I mean have you SEEN the lore? If you can be bothered to check, it’s actually rich and ornate, with multiple race and languages. That’s why I will never touch it without a 10-foot barge pole; I still aspire to have a decent sex life someday.

But I’m getting sidetracked, so here’s how the number of heroes will affect the gameplay

The hero you choose will define your play-style. Or to be more exact, the play-style you prefer will mostly dictate which hero you will find enjoyable. You wanna be a quick whoosh whoosh DPS? Go for the elf. You wanna be a stone-wall tank? Go check out the shield-bearing duo: the soldier and the dwarf. You wanna be kinda useful and kinda useless at the same time? Go for the character that looks like he’s from Bloodborne. Interested in being the prick that fills everyone’s screen with bullshit? The fire witch’s your lady, matey. But that’s not all the depth that comes from choosing a hero. You got 3 class for each hero, each offers different passive buffs and hero skill. Don’t think you can try them all instantly though, the game’s gonna make you work for it. You will have to unlock the classes by leveling up with the first class already unlocked from the get-go.

I mean if they didn’t do that, I’d be able to make a joke about being in a classless society etc etc.

After you’ve chosen how highly you are ranked above the local commoner, in comes the weapons. Your main bread and butter is the melee weapon. Of course there’s the good old stereotype on the weapon variety: fast but weak, strong but slow, and medium but medium. The only ones that are a bit different than the rest are the weapons that’s paired with shields, which allows you to block more incoming attacks from enemies before getting your guard broken. Okay, let’s see the variety of shield weapons available: fast but weak, strong but-oh bother, it’s just the fucking same. Mind you, these weapons are not shared among heroes, for each weapon are exclusive to one hero and one hero only. So don’t think you can cheat the game by giving the whoosh whoosh elf a goddamn mace and shield.

But as the old adage goes: “man cannot survive on bread, rats, and buff dudes alone”, so here comes some tasty peanut butter spread to save us from blandness in the form of ranged weapons. As with the melee weapons there are also varieties of different types of ranged weapon for each hero and class, and also like melee weapons, exclusive to each hero. Now, don’t expect to me explain the uniqueness of each weapon type and/or combinations, because that shit’s up to you to try and decide which one’s up your alley.

With those weapons explained, care for a little test drive on rats and buff dudes?

Believe me when I say there are a lot of enemy variations in this game. First off, there’s two factions of enemies going hand in hand to knock the living shit out of your party: the Skaven and the Chaos Army. Although for simplicity matters, I preferred calling them rats and buff dudes respectively, simply because that’s what they are. To start, you’ve got the mob enemies. They’re weak, plentiful, bland, and makes up for 90% of the enemy. And then there’s the elite enemies. They are enemies that have different behavior and approach towards your party. There are ones that disables a player, the ones that punishes loners and drags them away from the party, area denial, the big tanky mini-boss, and so on. These elite enemies are unique in design and therefore can be easily distinguished from the mob by audio cues and vision, especially after the in-game characters shouted callouts before the enemy can even be seen anywhere in this plane of existence. But the one thing I find curious is that design-wise and gameplay-wise, I find that the elite rat enemies are more interesting than the elite buff dudes. I mean you got the sneaky rat and the hooker rat that makes you stick together, the gas rat and fire rat that pushes you away from a beloved choke point, and gatling rat that’s 100% bullshit. But the elite buff dudes are just variations of even buffer dudes that charge in blindly with the mob with roughly the same results or fat dudes with magic hurricanes that’s just here to fuck your shit up, fam.

I gotta admit, still hilarious when it happens to everyone except you

Well, what else can I say about the game?

It’s your standard co-op four player PvE combat goddammit, what else do you wanna know? You grab your friends, choose your weapons, pick a map, and slay some rats. Simple, true and tried ever since the old age of beat em’ up games to the crowned exemplar of the 4 player co-op FPS genre: the Left 4 Dead series. But as of writing the previous sentence, why do I suddenly think that If I was given a choice to play Left 4 Dead or Vermin 2, I'd prefer Left 4 Dead? I mean they were basically the same: traverse map towards the objective, enemy mobs spawning at the worst possible timing, and stupid stupid teammates that just gotta fuck shit up right before the level exit. After taking my time to reflect on both games, I think I kinda know why. I think it’s because some of Vermin 2′s elements is pretty fucking shit.

You see, the enjoyment of the game doesn’t stem from the gameplay alone.It’s also affected by the amount of bullshit you gotta go through to actually experience the gameplay. And with vermin 2, the bullshit comes from having to struggle with the bad netcode. My playtime was 23 hours, and I’m quite sure the amount of time I spent waiting for my friend to be able to connect to my lobby is about a third of that. No joke, you know the worst record? 30 minutes. And even after the four of us can connect, it’s everybody’s guess whether or not we’re still gonna be a four man party after the level or someone’s gonna get dropped from the lobby for no particular reason. And what happens when someone or everyone got dropped? That’s right! Restart the fucking lobby!

And by restart the fucking lobby, I mean more gambling whether or not the fucking thing’s gonna connect again.

Another lesser complaint I got is the weapon power system. Unlike L4D which just plops you the same weapon on every campaign, in Vermin 2 you gotta find your own weapons via lootbox that you get by completing campaigns or challenges. Thing is, the weapon power you can get from the lootbox is capped based on the difficulty that you play. So get this, you start out with bad default weapons which will result in you getting beaten to mulch which motivates you to get better and better weapons until you hit the cap. What’s next? You have to move on to the harder difficulty with your capped weapons, which will result in you getting mulched again. So there you go, trapped in a cycle of mulch-ification towards better weapons. The small number of maps available didn’t help either. Only 13 maps in total, compared to 12 maps in L4D and L4D2.

13 is less than 12? This guy’s off his rockers

Yeah, yeah, dodgy mathematics aside, do remember that every map from L4D is divided into 4/5 segments each. That adds up into around 48/60 maps total, and I needn’t elaborate further to show you that 48 is bigger than 13. That’s not taking into account the numbers of custom maps readily available. Yeah, who’s the brainlet now, bozo? And I swear, the quick play is deliberately messing with my party. Somehow we always end up on the map where we gotta pop some pimples in a cave. If not that, the one where we gotta connect the lines on some temple. I swear to God, small map pool or not, this is ridiculous. It’s like this map tosses off the map RNG every once in a while so it gets chosen.

Now, if you’re a smarter person, you’d have followed the dotted lines all by yourself and successfully deducted the 20 car pile-up all these problems caused. But since unlike me and my big smarty brain, you didn’t know that 13 is less than 12, I fucking doubt it. Here let me explain to you and your slowy slowy boo boo brain.

visual pun, ladies and gentlemen

That’s right, 13 maps, 4 difficulty, and there you go on the mulch-ification cycle. Hope you don’t get bored of running the same levels again and again before reaching the higher difficulty. I know I sure did.

In Brief

After all the spanking I gave the game in the last paragraphs, it’s still fun, and it’s still a good alternative for L4D. Especially more so if you like L4D, but you’d like it more if it was melee-focused, class-based, grindy, and all-around dodgier. It’s kind of a shame really, because I can see that this game had potential to be better, but in the end it just got tossed aside with the remark “like L4D, but made by somewhat incompetent spods”. All because while the core gameplay is very much fun and functional, the elements that support it ends up being a hindrance, not unlike a brake on a car that could go off randomly. This game kinda proves that you can make a gold bar shaped like the world’s sexiest pair of titties, but bury it in deep enough bullshit and people are going to stop giving a shit, mainly because you already had shit deep enough to fertilize the Sahara desert.

P.S.

I am very much aware that the connection problem might stem from me and my friends’ own internet connection, but I did rule it out because L4D works like magic in comparison, and this proves that SOMETHING had to be wrong with the game to cause all the connectivity problems.

27/8/2018

#Vermintide 2 #vermintide #steam #pc games

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matan4il · 7 years ago

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Some Eurovision 2018 thoughts

Because I promised @isabellaofparma I would post these, that’s why. I should note, I wrote most of this before the rehearsals and saved it as draft, so there are only a few added touches before posting. Also, can’t believe it’s almost a year since ESC 2017. @beautifulhusbands, remember when we chatted about last year’s competition? Good times. OK, here are a few thoughts about some of the songs by country... Hungary - thing for me is, I love rock songs at the ESC, so a rock song has to work really hard for me not to like it in this competition. Still, this one feels particularly authentic, so major kudos, it’s my fave rock song this year (sorry, @i-want-messed-up-with-you-4-ever, though the Netherlands’ country rock entry is nice too. @letthebluerain we also have a cute light rock song from Romania, but I have to admit I’m always disappointed when I don’t get a song in Romanian from the country I was born in. But I actually adore that we have more than one rock song this year, I like this diversity). @isabellaofparma, I still love last year’s Hungarian entry more, but that’s because it became one of my fave ESC songs ever, not because this year’s offering isn’t good. FYR Macedonia - I saw some people saying this song is a mess of genres, but I don’t think that’s the issue. You can throw in five different musical genres and as an idea, it could still work well. For me the problem is every time I get into a particular portion and genre and I start enjoying myself, the song switches over. So I’m left unsatisfied by the whole thing. Greece - I like this song. I adore all songs that are in their country’s native language rather than in English, even though I get why so many choose to perform in the latter. So this song gets points for that, has an ethnic sound to it which I also like and generally, it seems like Israelis tend to like the Greek songs. So yeah, one of my faves this year. I think it has a real shot at being the winner. (isn’t @nvrtickleadragon Greek? I like relating songs and countries to people. So go you!) Belarus - this may be weird but the singer reminds me of the guy who played the (more) openly gay teenager on Witness (I miss that show so much). That does things to me. So I like this entry, but it may not be for the right reasons. I think how this will do will greatly depend on how it’s executed on stage. Italy - I have to say, I adore the Italian tendency to send songs in Italian as it’s one of my fave languages. This entry is nice musically, though I think one of the singers is not as good as the other one and the disparity takes away some of my enjoyment. Also, I’m not fond of the tendency to send 'from the headlines’ songs, though relatively to the genre, this one is nice. All in all, my feelings are it could have been better and it could have been worse. At least the hook is catchy. (I believe @robertjacobsugdens is Italian, right? Again, me with the relating stuff to people thing. I do believe you guys will do well this year even if this isn’t my fave entry this year, nor my fave Italian song to the ESC) Also, technically, I wanna rant over the fact that there actually ARE pacifist bombs. For example, there are bombs used specifically to destroy other bombs in a controlled manner that saves lives. So. I don’t know. I don’t like an oversimplified message is what I’m saying, I guess. Kinda makes you wonder why I listen to ESC then, right? ;p France - This is another one ‘from the headlines’, so once more, I’m a bit meh. It’s a nice, lovely tune, I adore that France always sing in French, but the song becomes too familiar too quickly in my opinion. I’m sorry, @iamarobronniffler, I think you guys will get a high score, but I don’t think it will win... I also think it was sort of hurt by being one of the first songs to be released, which means people had loads of time to get used to it... Personal pet peeve is that the singer pronounces ‘Mercy’ not like the English word the name derives from, but like the French word ‘merci’, which is a nice touch, but it starts bothering me towards the end of the song, when the name is repeated (and mispronounced) so much. Denmark - ok, so on first listen? It’s a really strong entry. The drums are epic, the staging is good, the production of the song is tight, the legend behind the song of Vikings who decided not to fight is cool, it is a catchy song, Rasmussen has stage experience so the odds of him faltering on the night are slim, thus this song has SO MUCH going for it. Usually, if you have a song like this and you come from one of the two blocks (the Soviet or the Scndinavian ones) I feel like you have it in the bag. That’s how I felt about Sweden’s Heroes and Denmark’s Only Teardrops and they both won. But I feel like one thing that works against the song is that it has something about it that’s almost too serious and in a year where a lot of things are less so, plus this year is very innovative while this song is classically epic, that may work against it. Also, I feel like years when the Scandinavian countries send more than one strong entry, that end up splitting the Nordic vote and negates the block advantage. This year, you have Finland with a strong entry too, plus Sweden being Sweden. Basically, I feel like this could have been the winner in a lot of years, but probably not this one. Portugal - feels like an attempt to send a song in the same genre of their winner last year and I think the odds of the same country winning twice in a row with the same type of song is slim to none. That being said, I think this year’s offering is lovely and way better in this genre than last year’s Portuguese song. Sorry, I still don’t think that guy should have won. Sweden - hmmm, this will do well, first of all because it’s Sweden (really, @stulot, it’s ridiculous what an empire you are in this sense) and because it has a nice, young Michael Jackson vibe. But I really don’t think it’s gonna win. It doesn’t stand out enough in my opinion. Plus, the Danish and Finnish contenders are stronger IMO, so my guess is a lot of Scandinavians votes are gonna go there rather than to Sweden. It’s a good song, it’s just not enough of a competition when even within Scandinavia, it’s only the third strongest song. Ireland - the song is sooooo sweet, it’s almost too much so. It gets a bit better once you realize it’s actually about a relationship that has ended, it gives the idea behind it a bit of a twist than if it were just a declaration of sickeningly sweet love, but the real gem for this entry is the clip. It’s openly showcasing a same-sex couple and I am SO happy about that! Despite its gay reputation, ESC is actually more heteronormative than you’d expect, so that clip made me really happy. I want it to do better than it might have otherwise for that alone. I'm glad they’re bringing it to the stage in Lisbon too. I’m annoyed (though not surprised) that Russia said it would cut this song out. Thing is, Russia is allowed to do that in the semi-final, but not in the final, so for that reason if nothing else, I want Ireland in the final. (person from fandom that this made me think of, @dannymiller-irish-fan. Promise I’m done with the tagging now... I think) Cyprus - this is a very typical ESC song, it’s fun and tightly produced so it will do well, but I’m not happy about the lack of originality, plus the pushing of the ‘sex sells’ angle is not something that I subscribe to. Bulgaria - this song feels very current, easily a pop hit you could hear on the radio rather than on the ESC stage. I enjoy it, I think a lot depends on the live performance, how the staging will go, how will their voices blend live, but I think it can be the winner. Estonia - it’s weird, I think her voice is stunning beyond measure, the song is perfect opera pop, I enjoy it whenever I hear it and yet it’s not a song I can see myself listening to outside of the competition. Maybe because it’s not exactly one you can sing along to. All the same, another possible winner IMO. Finland - So this is the strongest Scandinavian contender in my book (so @youslicetheginger, I think you guys have a shot). The song is classic ESC, it’s also well produced and performed, which is really important, so that takes a bit away from the fact that it’s not that original. However, you gotta add in two more advantages, both originating in Saara Aalto being the one performing it (beyond the fact that SHE CAN FUCKING BELT). One is that she was on singing reality shows in both Finland AND the UK before the contest, which probably makes her the most established artist of the whole lot before the competition. That matters because while the Scandinavian vote is split up this year, she can make up for it through fans of hers from outside Finland and Scandinavia. The other is her being open about her engagement to a woman. This, together with the possible LGBTQ reading of her song, I think can also get her a lot of votes. So basically, out of the Nordic countries, I believe she’s gonna place highest. And I’m definitely a fan. Iceland - the most interesting things about this clip and its video: the church you can see in the clip, the streets Ari (the singer) walks down in it, are ones I’ve seen and walked too, which was pretty cool to me. Ari means Eagle in the Scandinavian language, which is a cool coincidence with the fact that in Hebrew, the same name means lion. ‘But Alice, these interesting tidbits have nothing to do with the song!?’ you say? Exactly. Sorry, Ari, you look like a lovely guy, you damn well can sing, but this is the biggest bore fest this year. You deserved a better song. Norway - This is the definition of “don’t know when to call it quits”. What’s worst to me is Alexander tried to make it better by saying kids keep asking him how to write a song and this was his reply to them. Either he’s lying and just trying to get the audience to go all ‘awwww’ over his very banal song, an inferior version of the song he had won with in the past... or he’s honest, in which case, STOP LYING TO THE KIDS, Alexander. That is NOT how you write a song. Ukraine - I think this is such a cool, different song performed by a cool, different artist, it’s upbeat, it’s not preachy, it’s unique, it’s catchy, I love it. I don’t think it will win, but it’s another one of my faves. Spain - this love song made me think of @imre-gr, of course. It is sweet and lovely. It was the first song I heard that made me smile, so how could I not think of you? But then, I have to admit that it is very much the typical ESC love duet and while it’s a very good version of it, in a year full of unique and different songs, I don’t think it stands a chance to win. Sorry. :( Israel - honestly, my first reaction when the song was first released was, ‘ok, so we will not win this year either’. I still think it’s too divisive to win (I know the bookkeepers disagree, but I think they mainly rely on how many views the song clips get on YouTube and that is NOT a measure for which one will win the ESC), I think the song’s too original, too creative and TOO out there, not enough people get why the chicken bits were included, too many people started arguing about whether this is a feminist song or an anti-male one, but I was happy to see it was less divisive than I anticipated and that a lot of people have responded so positively to the song, to its message of self-empowerment and to Netta. I can’t think of anything better than so many people seeing a woman who is clearly nothing like the thin ideal of beauty in our society singing “I’m a beautiful creature”, getting that she means it and agreeing with her. Netta in simply who she is conveys a real message and spirit of change for the better. The song itself tries to tackle a serious issue but without being preachy or heavy about it, make it fun for people when they sing about feminism and embracing yourself and your strength as you are. I feel like this attempt sometimes means the lyrics aren’t clear enough (as the song is inspired by the #metoo movement, ‘stupid boy’ doesn’t feel like a harsh enough term for the sexual harassment the song refers to, plus it can too easily be used to make it seem like the song is anti-male, because people take it as if ‘stupid boy’ is referring to all men rather than to jerks who take advantage of women), but I still appreciate what it tries to do. And at the end of the day, I think Netta is fabulous, I think she got her message across, I think her song became popular way beyond the bounds of the competition, so in my eyes, even if she won’t win the contest, she’s a true winner and wonder woman. I’m proud of you and thank you for representing in such an amazing way a huge part of the beauty of my country on its 70th anniversary. <3

#esc #eurovision #Eurovision 2018 #netta #netta barzilai #toy #Israel #Israeli Music #what am i doing with my life

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bites-kms · 4 years ago

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Southwest Roadtrip - Episode 1: Viva las Vegas

When it comes to discovering the US, Johnny Cash kept it simple and straight to the point:

“I've been everywhere, man. Crossed the desert's bare, man. I've breathed the mountain air, man. Of travel I've had my share, man. I've been everywhere.“

And what a journey it was! Who knew a failed attempt to fly to Hawaii would result in such a fun adventure? We packed our stuff and jumped on a plane, destination Southwest of America. Starting by Vegas, passing through Arizona, stopping by Utah, resting in Colorado. Only my friend Belu would be as kamikaze to propose such thing and found in me such a blind partner-in-crime. It was September 4th, and we were rushing in a taxi from Hoboken to Newark to board our first flight during a global sanitary emergency, looking like Darth Vader’s close cousins with our masks and face shields.

After an approximately 6-hour flight, we landed in the middle of literally nowhere. We were able to see the pyramid and some other iconic architecture which I currently do not remember because it was about only for 5 seconds before landing. On arrival, on a mostly empty airport, we were surprised by the amount of slot machines that were there, welcoming everyone to place their bets. For sure, ours was to have fun and contrary to common belief, the house didn't win this one: we had a blast!

Followed by a surprise “SIN CITY, WOOO HOOO!” shout from someone who obviously has been living inside a thermos for the last past months, we cracked up and went to fetch a car. This very nice gentleman took us to the Bellagio (yeap, we went full on cliche mode, with what was originally a non-existent promo) while DJ Dani blasted her best records to kick off this adventure with the right feet: Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley and Just a Gigolo by Louis Prima Success.

DAY 1:

First things first: check in and adventure. Hotel, amenities and surroundings. Vegas spins around two main areas: the famous Strip, 6.8kms of the brightest place on earth seen from outer space full of hotels, restaurants, shops and of course, casinos. Pretty much Disneyworld for adults. The Bellagio is the iconic hotel which hosts some of the greatest restaurants and also the famous dancing fountains. Also, is one that is pretty centrally located, in between Caesars Palace (Roman Empire themed), The Cosmopolitan (which imitates boheme life from France) Aria and Park MGM Las Vegas (New York City represent!), Excalibur (Middle Ages) Luxor (Cleopatra’s Egypt) and The Venetian (of course, Venice). Everything is within walking distance but beware of the heat: a normal day in the desert is around 42C (107F), if not more, with a melting down thermal sensation of 1000 in any scale. This is why is also a city that is enjoyable during night time. So, do not feel bad about sleeping in a bit: you can always chill by the pool in the morning, have a little something for lunch and sleep (or remove the hangover) during the afternoon when the sun is unbearable. OR, the casino is always open so that could be an option. We chose to walk around a bit (big mistake) but luckily once you enter to the casinos, they are all connected with escalators, shade and AC, so we were mesmerized by this grown up themed park, where is so easy to lose track of time.

After an Italian lunch on a french bistro in a corner of Paris (? yes.. I know..) we went back and rest by the pool. Once the sun was already getting ready to bet some chips at night, we did too: we changed into our most shinny and glamorous outfit and won exactly 27 dollars! We checked out Venice, and some of the night shows that were happening on the streets (like naked promoters, the massive PM lines, and the crazy long-ass “juice” towers flowing around the more energetic covid-prone crowds) right before we headed up to Yellowtail, the Japanese and Michelin Starred restaurant at the Bellagio. We had their famous tuna pizza (it sounds terrible but it is more of a tostada or sashimi-style like) and got disappointed that they run out of the short ribs, but instead had some amazing sushi rolls and some tempura bites. When we found out about the beautiful, sigh-seeing windows that displayed all the fountain show we left our high-end attires aside and run to the windows, interrupting some other people’s dinner while leaving the waiters behind. We decided to go for dessert somewhere else and went to the piano bar located at the reception for a delicious espresso and a chocolate diamond cake. We did some neon-gazing and loved the fountain show to the beat of Believe by Cher, while being overwhelmed by a surreal feeling of actually being there, having so much fun and appreciating our friendship (and of course, avoided a high/drunk fellow who tried to take our pics and phone with them - she didnt know we were from New York and from Rio de la Plata, so the scam was on her!)

DAY 2

Repeat. (and pretty much that’s all we did). We kicked it off with a fake breakfast by the pool, and some piñas coladas in between facemasks. We also had a light lunch by the pool (a greek salad with some much needed water) and then, around 6:15 we took a cab to the Neon Museum - yeap, for those who think there is only light fun in Vegas, nope, think again, there are worthy museums, too! ( I even made a joke here! damn I’m inspired!). The Neon Museum is a scrap dealer cemetery, where all the old and somehow “broken” -even thou most of them have been repaired and are currently working!- neon signs from Old time Vegas rest. It is very fun to see old hotels, random letters, icons and logos being laid there, creating a wonderful mess in the middle of, again, you guess right, the desert. It was very fun and beautiful to be honest.

Another short taxi drive later (I was too naif thinking we could walk in short heels under the killer heat more than a block!) we drove thru what is known as “Old Vegas” or “Downtown Vegas”. This used to be the place where the magic happened before the creation of the Strip, but nowadays it only hosts what lingers of once a glamorous and kitschy past. The center of this action can be found throughout Freemont Street, a pedestrian long avenue that gathers classic neon signs, all-time Vegas characters (we still missed out on Elvis, so watch out impersonator, we will be back just for you!), stripers, street sellers, all you can eat venues, dodgy bars, and more and more neons. According to Las Vegas Tourism Board>> “Fun people, crazy people, partying, gambling, drinking, street performers, free music and light shows, zip lining and just having a good time... that's what you expect at Freemont.”

We had some pizza, talked to this Montana guy who for a second thought he was able to have a threesome with us on his dirty van, were voluntary abused by these hot, ripped stripers who made us laugh with their pick up line: “You can leave your face mask here, right by your underwear too, please.” The guys were a “sample” - since the show is canceled due to the pandemic- of Chippendales, something a fine woman needs to experience once in their lifetime. Belu felt in love with her boy, but given the current times and protocols, this love couldn't prosper as we all wished it had. No worries amiga, next time!

But the most striking part of this decadent place was witnessing this surreal restaurant called Heart Attack Grill, where people who weight more than 350lbs (almost 160kgs) eat for free. The biggest burger consist on 8 patties, and as an FYI, only the 4 patty burger is marked on the Guinness World Records Book as the “Quadruple Bypass Burger” with almost 10.000 calories, all the beverages consists on massive soft drinks, milkshakes, beers and wine, (full bottles, of course, served from an IV drip bag) and it is not allowed to share food. The place is cash only, you gotta weight yourself before entering, each patty is made of half pound each, everybody must wear hospital gowns and if you dare not to finish your meal, you get three spanks by the horny yet not so sexy waitress dressed as nurses. As a nice little detail, on the biggest burger you can pump it up with 40 slices of bacon by only $7.99 more! And, to wrap up this majestic hospital parlor, I recently researched that the legal owner of Heart Attack Grill is hilarious – Diet Center LLC. The founder is Jon Basso, who strives to provide “nutritional pornography” in his food. For a better comprehension (for a lack of a better word) of this place, you can check out this recap of Showtime’s series: Deadly Sins.

So, we were mesmerized, we were educated, we bet, we ate, we drunk and we touched some sweaty strippers, so there was only one thing left to do: crush a weeding. So there we went. There were multiple chapels around the area, but I dont know whether it was the time (it was around, 9, 9 and coins) so it may have been a little bit too late or due to COVID, but no weddings were in place. We finally arrived to the Little White Chapel, the original, unique one that has the Elvis sign, the drive-thru and the proud sign that states how Michael Jordan and Joan Collins got married there. We were so bummed to found only a very young, very dull couple getting married (she was wearing black, hence, that is all you need to know) and there was not a very jolly, merry spirit. Still, we managed to hang out with the best men and got a picture of two to remember this fail attempt to crush this very much lame wedding. Up we went to the Bellagio, checking out what was missing from Sin City: the Wynn Hotel, Route 515, 51 and the Famous Welcome to Las Vegas Sign.

We wrapped this unique experience witnessing an amazing, full moon in the middle of the desert, with a massive and delicious full on breakfast at Sadelle’s, a little piece of home in our far-away-from home hotel. Till next time, Vegas! You were great fun!

#vegas #elvis #fun #gamble #nevada #food #restaurant #casinos #covid

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blindrapture · 7 years ago

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an old Andrew Hussie quote (and then a ramble in the tags)

(In response to “are you aware of all the people wishing Act 5′s hiatuses weren’t so prominent”)

I don't know. I hardly ever read more than half way down the first page of questions. Too many, too repetitive, etc.

But through various channels, I detect certain flavors of reaction, ranging from disappointment to frustration to something faintly resembling outrage, not just at the lack of an incendiary production to mark year 2, but also the flagging rate of output in recent weeks.

These reactions are far from universal, but they exist, and to address them I think an education on why MSPA exists at all is in order. If you see a creator who begins to languish in production of what presumably accounts for his day job, the impression may be that he is falling down on the job and failing to live up to his professional commitment. So maybe this is the source of indignation, re: entitlement, that some may feel when my output falters. The problem is, MSPA is not a day job for me. It is an all consuming lifestyle. Hence, the mirage that is the apparent ease of output for what is at times ludicrous volumes of material is highly sensitive to even slight perturbations in my life situation.

Let me put it this way. You may work a full time job. It may be that something happens in your life that makes your job more difficult, because you are preoccupied. Your work may suffer to some extent, but you can still approximately match what's expected of you, because there is a partition between your job and your home life. You may nevertheless feel your full time job seems to dominate your existence, saps your energy, and leaves your weekend respites feeling all too short. This is not an experience I share, because MSPA is not a full time job. If you have such a job, then I would have to RADICALLY REDUCE my workload to match your level of day to day preoccupation.

The actual quantities involved have always been nebulous and I never made a point of keeping track, but 12 hours per day seems like a pretty reasonable average, since that is just shy of all waking hours. Time spent writing, drawing, animating, or just spacing out at my monitor while contemplating all the moving parts. This is what I did every day, including weekends and holidays, for two years, and to some extent another year prior to that with Problem Sleuth. Only a few weekends were missed due to conventions, and there was a single week off immediately following the infamous "robo smooch", and that's it. (Most of that week was spent wondering why the hell I wasn't updating...) There are other gaps in the archive, spanning days or a week, when I was animating. Those spans involved the usual work schedule, while simply omitting sleep!

Not only is this an unreasonable workload to expect of anyone, it's practically impossible to pull it off. Maybe you can expect some committed guy out there to really buckle down and duplicate that effort for a month or two. But years? Too much can crop up in the white noise of normal life to destabilize it. Momentum is absolutely crucial for maintaining that kind of pace. I find that if I only do an hour of work in a day, I get ten minutes of work done. If I do 12 hours of work, I seem to get 24 hours of work done. This is especially true of animation. Such projects notoriously take a very long time. I feel like because of the crazy head of steam I've built up from years of nonstop effort, I can knock out in days something that might take another animator a week. Or in a week what might take a month. Without that momentum, it's not possible. Starting up Flash cold is excruciating. Getting your head back into the stride of a story wastes energy you wouldn't use if you never broke stride. Without the momentum, the pace reverts to ordinary. Getting distracted by life destroys the momentum.

I've been pretty zealous about deflecting the distractions, even when I move, as I often do. A notable example was last year when I came back from the Emerald City con in Seattle, and found my apartment flooded. The con was already enough of a time sink, so I didn't have much of an appetite for going into personal crisis mode. I just kind of shrugged, picked my computer off the lone, miraculously dry part of the floor, dropped it in a temporary residence, and kept drawing. I think the flood mess occupied about a day of my attention, whereas something like that could easily take up weeks of your time and energy if you're living that "normal life". You know how it is, you come home and find water up to your ankles and go aw fuck, what's ruined, what needs replacing, gotta call whoever and deal with the fuckin landlord about stuff and auuuugh. I just didn't bother with any of that, because it just didn't seem to matter, and I preferred to keep working and not give a crap about all my soggy bullshit. And in retrospect, I guess it really didn't matter.

All of my moves have been similarly characterized by the unceremonious transportation of a computer and a few boxes to a new room, in which I'd continue working as if no change took place, with no service paid to the life that would be lived there, except as a workspace. I moved again recently, prompted by decidedly less dramatic and less soggy reasons than after Emerald City. This time, for whatever reason, I did it differently. I moved the normal way, the way I imagine normal people doing when I close my eyes, whereby more than a car trunk full of utilitarian belongings are imported into the household, placed on the floor, and never unpacked until the next moving day. I am not necessarily PROHIBITIVELY busy, but like I said above, any dent in the momentum, whether its a few trips to Home Depot or Target here and there or somehow waking up to discover I'd absconded from a shelter with two particularly energetic young cats, is something that precludes a pace of output that is insane and often bordering on miraculous.

What I'm trying to convey here is this isn't necessarily any sort of break, or a grand announcement of a big slowdown for MSPA. I'm trying to give you a sense of the reality which made MSPA heretofore possible, and that if for a period of time I descend from an altitude far exceeding the hours of a full time job, into "merely" those of a full time job, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY COUNT AS A BREAK! And certainly not as any sort of violation in a pact with the readership. Different from what you're used to? Sure. But you should never find yourself in a position where you come to expect, let alone demand, that degree of effort from anyone, even me. If my output "sputters" from 10 pages a day to 1 or 2 or 3, IDEALLY (re: unrealistically) this should not even cause you to voice an internal observation on the matter! And if one is voiced, instead of "oops, looks like Andrew's slipping," it should be "oops, looks like Andrew's being a regular dude for a while."

Not that detecting a pace change is some terrible wrongdoing, since clearly I've done everything in my power to establish these absurd precedents, and people have naturally associated this with The Brand. I'd just like to suggest it would be beneficial to the reader to disentangle enjoyment of the content from the torrid pace its been commonly delivered. Who can say how fast or slow it'll come in year three? Would my assurances even be reliable? Maybe it'll stay at the current pace for a good long while. Maybe it'll soon hasten back to something more typical. Maybe it'll come back FASTER THAN EVER. Who cares??? Do you really NEED this site to be the fastest comic on the block to enjoy it? Are you prepared to contend with the backlash to your psyche that is risked by so fervently relishing that particular property of the comic? What if it's taken away? Don't go boasting to your neighbors that your slave can pick cotton ten times faster than theirs. It's unbecoming. Just enjoy the fluffy yield of his furious hands, while you wait and pray for Abe Lincoln to gently stroke his beard and relieve you of your bigotry.

#hint hint #as in: act 6's hiatuses are not a legitimate reason to dislike act 6 #hussie may have stopped directly speaking to his fans but that doesn't mean he was never aware of literally All The Complaints #i'm actually quite amazed that basically all of them were spelled out for him *before* act 6 #even don't go back and do any resets or retcons that would make everything a waste of time #and he took the time to give answers to all of those complaints then #if anything he probably stopped answering fan questions because he knew they'd just be repeats #people weren't interested in asking him about themes and media philosophy which he was generally pretty good at talking about #the people who were interested in talking about that? they did so through fandom #and that's probably why he took to greater emphasizing the independence of fandom. and encouraging its activity #oh yeah and before anybody is like 'but his output faltered WAAAAY more in act 6'#you are correct.#we also know that he had a LOT more secret projects to work on #and that. as he knew he was approaching the end of a story. he could begin drafting the next one #just like he did with homestuck by the end of problem sleuth #and beyond that he seems to have sought a much more private life in general? probably tried to live like a normal person a bit?#partly because he knew he could. since homestuck's course by then was already set. and we were just waiting for execution.#what i'm trying to say here is if you were angered by homestuck's faltering pace in its second half then those feelings were valid but...#...you had no right to direct those feelings towards hussie or his comic.#because you had no right to assume the pace would continue to be frantic.#(if anything. maybe he also wanted to slow the comic's pace down deliberately to discourage such assumptions?)#(maybe he was becoming all too aware of a sense of entitlement that the first half of the comic did not discourage enough)#(and all too aware of how popular homestuck had become among young people. he had kids listening to him.)#(and so he wanted homestuck to ultimately correct its own mistakes and set a better example for young people?)#(maybe that's even why act 6 focused so much on teen drama. on positive themes. maybe that could be reconciled with his original plan.)#anyway. there's a lesson for you somewhere.

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forestwater87 · 7 years ago

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yo got any tips on how to get my gwenvid fic out there?

Ah, this is tricky, and I gotta be honest I think I only lucked out because I wrote the first real Gwenvid fic out there and no one had any other options. But since “go back in time” isn’t really plausible, I can offer some things that I think might be helpful:

1. Make sure you’re tagging them correctly! On both Tumblr and AO3, it’s really useful to make sure you’re using the most-viewed and/or official tags for your content. For example, “campcamp” is the official CC tag, and as far as I can tell “cc david” is more successful and widespread than “david cc” … but that might not be as important as I think it is. But definitely be smart with your tags, especially those first 5, since according to Tumblr Lore those are the ones that … do something something algorithm idk. As for AO3 tags, I’m not really sure how they work, like if the site lumps “Gwen/David” in with “Gwen (Camp Camp)/David (Camp Camp)” – ah, what we had to use when the fandom was still so young and tiny – but I’d err on the side of over-tagging, personally. As long as you’re not one of those people with 30,000 tags it takes ages to scroll past, why not?

2. Reblog a lot! I always feel really really self-conscious resharing my own stuff, but it works! It introduces the work to a new crop of readers and makes a big difference.

3. Use your friends! Use people you barely know! Seriously, if I didn’t have @ciphernetics and @hopefullypessimistic84 aggressively stanning my work I don’t think anyone would read it. XD And I’m always happy to give someone a shout-out, as long as it’s not something that makes me uncomfortable.

4. Get involved in the fandom! This is a more general thing, but answering asks, doing memes, participating in appreciation weeks, and just generally filling up the tag with content is not only super fun, because we suck up CC and especially Gwenvid content like we’re starving in the desert, but it also helps to get your name out there and get people interested in your stuff. I know I’m considered “the Gwenvid person” by a lot of people who’ve never read my fics and don’t even know I have fics, because I just have so goddamn many screenshots to fling in every direction and ramble about my love of the ship. You can also use that involvement to plug your writing, like the many wonderful fanfics I’ve written that you can check out if you like my other stuff!

5. Credit people! This sounds weird, and may have a tiny bit to do with the fact that I’m salty about this issue, but if you use someone’s AU or headcanon, or even if they just got you inspired by enjoying their work? Tag them! Not only will they be happy that you liked their ideas and are acknowledging their contribution, but it gets them to pay attention to your fic. And hey, if someone inspired you so much you used their ideas, it feels amazing to have them pay attention. (This is also how you make friends in the fandom. Seriously.)

I’m also gonna give a few more types of advice, ranging from making an awesome fanfic to attention-getting. But since the world is kinda unfair, entertainment is very unfair, and fandom is an impossible beast, I also wanna give you some thoughts that I’ve developed over the course of being in this fandom. Under the cut since it’s only tangentially related …

I’m starting with what I personally think makes a fic worth reading. It might not guarantee kudos, but it might be worth thinking about:

1. Get a beta reader. Honestly, having someone comb through your work for things like consistency, characterization, and grammar is hugely important. There are a ton of great fics that suffer for not having someone run their eyes over it, and the fandom is one big happy family; you could throw a rock in any direction and find someone who’d be happy to help you out.

2. Figure out what makes your story worth reading, and emphasize it. This is gonna sound kinda dumb, but I swear half the stuff on AO3 is the same fucking “David adopts Max and may or may not be a serial killer” fic. I realize this is kinda petty of me, but I do think it’s a good idea to know what about your fic is special and worthwhile, because that’s going to be what makes people enjoy and recommend it. (This doesn’t mean don’t use popular tropes or plots, but just to be aware of what you’re bringing to the table, what cool twist or je ne sais quois it is that made you wanna write it. It’s also a great way to prop yourself up when you’re getting down on your work, because it reminds you that you’re doing something original and special.)

3. Consider short chapters (3,000 words or less) and a regular updating schedule. I don’t do this. It’s a problem. But seriously, people enjoy bite-sized content, and regularly adding to it keeps your work at the top of the tags/queue while also keeping the people who like your fic from forgetting about it.

4. Use small paragraphs. No one wants to read a giant block of text, and I know more than once I’ve clicked away after seeing the entire chapter was one big paragraph. Again, bite-sized. Getting people to read a fic is difficult, because it’s asking for an investment of time and mental energy they could be spending on something else. So do what you can to make reading as easy and enjoyable as possible for them.

5. Be mindful of standard grammar. I’m not trying to impose my Western-centric ideals on other people, because there are a lot of valid ways to talk/write and using “proper” grammar doesn’t mean you’re more intelligent by any means; I’m also not trying to discourage the creative and poetic use of nonstandard grammar (lord knows I abuse my artistic license to mess with grammar all the time). But in the name of making things a bit easier to read – especially, as I understand, for ESL readers – adhering to generally-accepted rules of “good” grammar is worth considering.

Unfortunately, your story still might not get the attention it deserves, and I’d like to start by saying I’m very very sorry about that. (I went from the only Gwenvid writer to being, like, that former high school football player who reminisces about the good old days before all these talented whippersnappers came around to upstage me; I’m just saying that I know how much it hurts to feel like your work isn’t being appreciated, whether you think you deserve the appreciation or not.) It sucks, and it hurts, and I’m sorry. I wish more people saw your stuff.

But some thoughts about dealing with those feelings as well:

1. Get a cheerleader. This is another super useful thing about having a beta, btw. Sometimes you’re going to feel like crap, and you’re going to need someone to prop up your ego and tell you that they think you’re amazing and that they believe in your story. Get as many of these as you need and feel comfortable leaning on them when you’re feeling down.

2. Beg. I make posts begging for compliments on like a twice-a-month basis. It’s kinda pathetic, but it really really helps, so if you have followers, there’s no shame in asking them to say nice things when your self-esteem has taken a beating.

3. Know that attention =/= quality. Like, okay, there are some incredible fics that are rightfully getting their due (fucking Netics and Mouse, talented bitches). But legit, the second-most-kudos’d fic on AO3 is also one of the worst ones I’ve ever run my poor undeserving eyes over, and only the fact that this is under a cut and unlikely to be read by many people is giving me the pettiness to say that. My longest fic, the one I’ve poured the most of myself into, has fewer kudos than a masterpiece called “Camp Campbell’s Cum Dumpster.” I wrote an entire post enumerating just a handful of CC fics I think deserve more attention, and if being well-known and -loved correlated with talent, they’d all be topping the leaderboards in my worthless opinion. But seriously, sometimes your stuff won’t be appreciated. Maybe it doesn’t have enough fluff, or enough angst. Maybe it doesn’t have enough dad//vid. Maybe it’s the fact that nothing will ever grab positive attention like dan//vid and there’s nothing we can do about it. Fans are picky and tricky, and sometimes trying to figure out why something becomes blisteringly popular while something else doesn’t is impossible, but it doesn’t mean your writing isn’t amazing. Believe in the story you’re telling, and that it’s worth telling.

4. Don’t compare yourself to other writers. I feel compelled to put this one on here because it’s good advice, but ahahahahahahahaha I’ve never done this and I’m pretty sure I never will.

5. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your writing is worth reading, and some things are out of your control, so just cut yourself some slack. Ahahahahahahahahaha fucking I’m such a piece of shit I don’t think I could do this if there was a gun to my head

#ask forest #not sure any of this is useful #a lot of it's me rambling and being salty #but listen #sometimes that's part of the writing process #especially when you're a petty competitive bitch #Anonymous

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greezyscumbag · 8 years ago

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Try Me

Request from anon for a Jax x Reader where the reader is Unser’s daughter, and Hale keeps flirting with her so she asks Jax to pretend to be her boyfriend to get him to back off. Enjoy the smut ;)

A/N - I’ve done this a little differently to my other fake boyfriend/girlfriend imagines, as I don’t want to seem repetitive :)

—

“You don’t even know me. Get to know me, I promise I’ll change your mind.” You’re glad your back is turned as you roll your eyes in annoyance, not sure how long you’re going to be able to keep up the nice girl attitude for.

Turning to face the determined officer, you smile apologetically, your following answer the same as it always is. “Thanks for the offer again David, but I’m not sure things would work between us.”

“Why? Why do you always say that?” he asks, frustration heavy in his tone, his hand on your car door to stop you from leaving. “Is it because of the MC?”

“No-” You open your mouth to start denying his claims, trying to think of another reason not to go out with a dude that you just don’t find yourself attracted to, when you come up with the perfect solution. “Actually, yes. You’re completely right.”

“Listen, I know you’re close with them, but they’re bad people, (Y/N). You could do so much better.” Here he goes again, you think. Same speech as always. He doesn’t even know SAMCRO like you do, nobody does.

“Thanks for the lecture, David, but Jax asked me to be his girlfriend a couple weeks ago, and I said yes.” The pure horror on his face has you biting your lip to contain your smirk. “See you around.”

—

Walking into the clubhouse, you scan the room swiftly, not spotting the man you’re hoping to see. “He around, Sack?”

“In the apartments.” he responds, walking into the kitchen with a pair of rubber gloves and a plunger. You grimace, knowing Piney’s probably blocked the bog again. Shaking your head, you walk towards Jax’s residence, knocking on the closed door.

“Room service.” you call sarcastically, your voice sickly sweet. The door opens within a few seconds, Jax’s eyebrow raised, his lips turned up into a grin.

“Lucky me, though you’re slightly overdressed for the kind of ‘room service’ I’m used to.” he says, opening the door to let you in. “Wasn’t expecting to see you till’ later on.”

“I know, but I need to talk to you about a little favour so I thought I’d grace you with my wonderful company.” you tease, plonking yourself down on Jax’s bed. Shutting the door, he sits on a box in front of you, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket.

“You can just admit you missed me, babe.” He takes a drag, your eyes capturing the way his cheeks hollow as he inhales the smoke, the action stopping your train of thought. “What do you need me for this time, Princess?“

“Are you ever going to drop that nickname? You’ve called it me for years.” He grins cheekily, the smoke parting from his pink lips as he shakes his head at you, knowing deep down you love the endearment. “Anyway-”

A knock on Jax’s door stops you, the two of you turning to see Chibs’. “Sorry to interrupt. Cops are here.”

“Could they be any further up our asses?” Jax spits rhetorically, discarding his cigarette in an ashtray on his cabinet before standing up. You follow him as he leaves the room, Chibs leading the way as the three of you head out to the front. All you’re thinking is please don’t be Hale.

You curse silently as you see the man himself standing against his police car, Jax tensing up as he sets eyes on the deputy. “You’re here so much I’m starting to think you wanna patch in.”

Hale just scowls, his eyes shifting to you as you move from behind Jax, stepping to take position between the Scot and the VP. He watches you for a moment, and you know Jax catches it as you see him look at you questioningly, a pleading look on your face as you hope he just follows your lead.

“We got a call about a guy on a motorcycle running a red light a few blocks from here.” You sigh in disbelief, having a sneaking suspicion that his visit is more out of spite than anything else. “Just here to check your plates.”

“Jesus, how bad did you piss off my dad to go from murders to speeding tickets?” you sass, folding your arms across your chest. Chibs chokes down his chuckle from next to you, taking a drag from his cig to keep down his humour.

“I’m here because it’s my job, (Y/N), to make Charming a safer place for our citizens.” You roll your eyes, nodding slowly. “Something bothering you?”

“Woah, I thought you were here for us, not for the chief’s daughter. Check your plates and you can be on your way.” Jax states protectively, not liking the way Hale is speaking to you. The officer glares in response, his hand moving to rest on the handcuffs on his belt.

“I wonder how the chief would feel if he knew what you were up to with his daughter.” Hale snaps, his whole entity dripping with jealousy. You swallow nervously, trying to hide the anxiety from your face.

Chibs laughs loudly this time, a laugh so loud with amusement that you can’t help but smile. “Jackie, you naughty boy.”

You share a look with your ‘boyfriend’, him smirking, a cocky grin spreading across his face. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in, Jax’s reaction of enjoyment rather than horror making you feel confident in your lie.

“Oh, I get it now. You’ve got a soft spot for my girl here, and you’re pissed she chose me over you.” Jax says, rolling his tongue over his lower lip smugly. “Not that you were even an option.”

“You watch your mouth, Teller.” Hale warns, his eye twitching as he steps up to Jax, the tension heavy between the two men.

“Or what?” Jax challenges, anger radiating off him in waves.

“We got a problem here, boys?” The voice of your dad cuts through the ever brewing argument, him smiling at you loving before turning his attention back to the two amped up males. “Hale, you’re not stationed to be here.“

You, Chibs and Jax watch on as Hale turns into a flushed mess, having no decent excuse for ever coming to TM in the first place - though you all know why he did.

“Thanks, dad.” You hug your father as you speak, him squeezing you tightly before leaving you to it.

“So, something you need to tell me?” Jax asks as you sit on the bench outside, embarrassment crawling up your body. “Wasn’t aware I was taken, darlin’.”

He nudges you playfully, your hands covering your face as you groan. “He’s been pestering me for weeks, figured you were the best deterrent.”

“Thanks.” Jax deadpans, a small smirk on his face as he passes you the cig, you taking a drag as you think about what to say. “Glad I could be of service, I guess.”

“Thanks for going along with it. Guess I owe you one.” You tap off the ash and pass the stick back, biting your lip anxiously. “How about I do you a favor?”

“Sweetheart, no offence but the kind of favours I’d like to have you do for me aren’t exactly innocent.” You cough, his reply completely unexpected, your core tingling involuntarily.

“Try me.” you tease, your gaze flickering to his lips for just a second, your hand coming to rest on his thigh, fingertips inching upwards.

Next thing you know, the two of you are locked at the lips, thankful that the clubhouse is empty, the others off on runs and whatever else. “How long have we got?”

“Half hour, tops.” Jax mumbles, connecting his lips back to yours, his tongue in your mouth eliciting a moan from you. “I don’t see us lasting that long to be honest, darlin’.”

You squeal as you feel yourself being lifted, the pool table becoming your seat as Jax places you on top. You rip at his flannel, the buttons scattering all over the room. Your fingers explore up and down his chiseled chest as he begins to nibble and suck at your neck, your eyes closing in pleasure as he works his way down.

“Please, Jax…” you pant, your underwear positively soaked as his tongue slips over your exposed skin. He practically growls at your pleading, him ripping himself from you as he expertly undoes his jeans, the fabric pooling at his ankles, his boxers joining the denim.

Your eyes widen as his cock stands before you, you pressing your thighs together subconsciously as the ache grows stronger. “Like what you see, Princess?”

“Don’t get too smug, Jackson, gotta see if you can fuck me well enough, first.“ His hands pull at your shorts, you lifting your ass to help assist as he rids the material from your legs. Once he’s discarded the fabric somewhere across the room, he connects his lips back to yours, lifting and squeezing your ass as he moves to you to the edge of the table.

You barely feel him move your underwear to the side before he sinks into you, a gasp leaving your lips as he nuzzles into your neck, his teeth biting at your skin as he fills you up.

You dig your nails into his biceps as he moves out of you, slamming back in deeply. He pulls back, loving the expressions you make as he fucks you so well, the little moans and gasps leaving your lips making him want to explode there and then.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to feel you around me, (Y/N).” You place your hands behind you to steady yourself, your pussy feeling even wetter as he talks to you. “You feel so fucking good, baby.”

“I’m so close, already. Fuck, just like that.” you whine as he hits all the right places, his strokes alternating in speed, but never lacking in power.

You rub your clit, clenching your pussy as you come, your mouth open yet nothing comes out. “That’s it, come for me, baby. Good girl.”

Jax grips the back of your neck as he speeds up his thrusts, his gaze locked on yours as he gets closer and closer to climaxing. You’re practically on fire as you feel another orgasm creeping up on you, the pure hunger in Jax’s eyes making you more sensitive than ever.

“Who knew you could take cock so well.” he whispers as he drills into you, a high pitched moan slipping from your lips. “Imagine if someone walked in right now, saw what a dirty slut you are, so desperate for me.”

His degrading words push you over the edge, a loud curse leaving you as stars fill your vision, Jax continuing to slam into you as he rides you through your high. “You gonna take my come, hm? Gonna let me fill you up like the good girl you are?”

“Yes, fuck, please Jax.” you plead desperately, your nails clawing down his stomach as he places hos forehead against your own, his eyes clenching shut as he let’s go.

He kisses you roughly as he comes inside of you, his hips gently rocking as his hot spurts shoot inside of you, your teeth sucking at his bottom lip.

He pulls out of you slowly, his juices and your own dripping from your satisfied pussy, your body feeling empty without his shaft inside of you.

Jax buckles up his pants, grabbing your shorts before lifting you up as if you weigh nothing. He carries you down the hall, just in time in fact as voices begin to fill the clubhouse.

Reaching his room, he places you down on the bed, his body crawling over yours as he moves a piece of hair from your face. “I’ve gotta go for a vote, but when I get back, we’re gonna see how sexy you look on your hands and knees.”

With that, he’s gone, leaving you shaken and hungry for more.

—

A/N - It’s been a whileeeeeee since I wrote some smut, but I’m so glad with how this turned out!!!! Hope you guys likeddddddd xxxx

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gamebird · 6 years ago

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What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Han/Leia.

Probably worth mentioning that I’m not at all interested in most AUs. Anything that involves a setting change - college, coffee shop, etc. isn’t interesting to me. I might be enticed into a swap-sides thing, like Poe in the FO or dark Rey. But in general, I like the ST and if the AU messes with that dynamic too much, it’s not what I like anymore. It’s its own thing. That’s cool and all, but I’m not going to read it when there’s so much awesome canon and near-canon stuff to read.

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Not really. I’m comfortable with any of the main pairings as sexual or platonic. That includes Reylo, kylux, gingerpilot, finnrey, finnrose, stormpilot, etc.

Any fandoms that don’t appeal to you?

I’m answering this for Star Wars only. But I have no interest in the OT/PT discourse aside from how it informs my enjoyment of the ST. I watched the movies, they were fun, but they didn’t spark my shipping/fannish imagination.

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Why?

Yep. Loads. Can’t remember specifically. I’ll unfollow people if they’re rude, if they hurt my feelings, if they say something insensitive, if they post stuff I’m not into, if they post more metas than I want to read, if they’re heavily into a different fandom I don’t want to see all the time, if they post stuff I’m not comfortable seeing on my dash, if they’re pro-Trump or support various political or sociological views I disagree with strongly, if they look like a porn blog (actually, I block those from following me), etc. I come here to have a good time. As soon as it looks like someone is going to consistently detract from it just because of who they are and how they see the world, I unfollow them. They can go off and do their own thing. I’ll do mine. I’m fine with that.

That said, I don’t follow very many people to start with, and I usually scroll through the last few hundred posts on their blog before I do. If they’ve only reposted the same stuff I’m already seeing from other people, then I probably won’t follow them even if we otherwise have tons of overlap.

Do you have a NoTP in [insert fandom here]?

Not into the parent/child incest pairings. It’s not my thing. I’d click the back button. Sibling incest is fine. I think it’s the power dynamic I don’t like.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

No. Canon sure has.

Is there anything you used to like, but now can’t stand?

Marvel/DC movies are getting there pretty fast.

Unpopular opinion about [insert fandom here]?

I really dislike smoking Hux. I know there’s a lot of overlap in the upper-class twit/urbane gentleman/fop/dandy sort of thing he has going on, but I like to imagine that in a GFFA, they’ve overcome addiction for the most part, for anyone sensible who has access to resources.

It’s kind of like this - when and where I grew up, lots of people chewed tobacco. They spat. This was considered common and normal. Today, it’s considered gross, lower class, and unhealthy. When I see smoking-Hux, I get that same vibe. That he’s doing something gross, lower class, and unhealthy. It’s disgusting. It makes it very hard for me to enjoy the character.

Have you received anon hate? What about?

Yeah. A couple times. I don’t recall the details. But I remember one that wasn’t hate exactly? They asked me if I had to comment on **everything** I reblogged. Um ... yeah. I do most of the time. So what?

Any fandom you’re ashamed of being in?

Nah. I’m surprised I haven’t seen any Chewie/Han shipping though. I’d read the shit out of that stuff. Maybe Chewie/Lando would be better. Something. I didn’t like Han much. Gotta get my furry on!

I say this and I’ve never once checked the AO3 tags for that stuff.

Questions designed to make you hate me

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Any fandoms that don’t appeal to you?

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Why?

Do you have a NoTP in [insert fandom here]?

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Is there anything you used to like, but now can’t stand?

Unpopular opinion about [insert fandom here]?

Have you received anon hate? What about?

Any fandom you’re ashamed of being in?

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salamoonder · 6 years ago

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Dark Side | [ch. 6]

Sometimes Patton feels like he’s nothing but a pile of emotions.

Wordcount: 4.3k

Warnings: implied eating disorder

A/N: I am...so sorry...my upload schedule is absolutely fucked. College is hard, y’all. Anyway. I’m posting it now so that’s what counts. Masterpost/links to other chapters to come!

| Read on AO3 |

The moment Remy slips off Patton is instantly lost in the crowd. The voices and laughter mingle in his head into a mess of colors. He feels like levitating. He’s here. Finally. He’s off on his own and--and he can go anywhere he wants, talk to anyone--an older guy bumps into him and Patton turns his most brilliant smile on him, jolting a surprised grin onto the other guy’s face.

The air smells amazing. Patton can identify barbecue of some kind, of course, but he can also smell what he thinks is fresh brownies and cherry blossoms. It’s like trekking through heaven. He doesn’t even mind that it’s so hot. No way is he going back to his room now just to put on shorts. He hasn’t even unpacked, but that’s the furthest thing from his mind. There are people out here. People. And food and games and--Patton almost stops dead. And music? Is that live music? There’s no way he’s leaving now.

It takes him a while but he eventually tracks the singing to a large gazebo. A few upperclassmen are standing up there with guitars and mics and amplifiers, singing a slightly off key (but nevertheless enjoyable) rendition of Don’t Stop Believing. Students are scattered all over the steps, talking and singing along and eating.

That’s when Patton’s reminded how long it’s been since he and Virgil had breakfast, and he sets off in search of food. Music’s fun, but it’s not gonna fill his stomach.

His eyes light up when he finally spots the food tables, which seem to be about a mile long stacked end to end--then his face immediately falls when he sees how long the line is.

Oh, well. It’s probably best to get in line now rather than later. Patton’s sure if he waits any longer all the food will be gone. He treks to the back of the line and settles in for a long, hot wait, then texts Remy.

How is he?

Not answering the door, Remy texts back.

Patton frowns. He’s about to respond when another text pops up. He’ll be fine. He’s probably just mad, he’ll cool down. You guys are like best friends right?

Right, Patton texts back, biting his lip. Then he adds: Are you gonna come get food? I’m saving you a spot in line.

On my way already. Then, a second later, Can you wave?

Patton waves a hand over his head and a second later Remy comes bounding over to him. She’s changed into a tiny sundress vibrant enough to match her eyeshadow, and her sunglasses have still not come off. “Hiya!” she chirps. “Enjoying yourself? Met anyone new?”

“Oh, definitely,” says Patton, grinning. “Haven’t met anyone yet, though. I’ve been too...excited, I guess. So many people to start a conversation with, it’s hard to know where to start.” In truth he feels like he might vibrate out of his skin with excitement. He’s shaky with the movement of it all, of being on the road, on campus, in the res hall, out here. Shaky with the heat and weight of Virgil’s frustration and what that means for him. Before he can think about it anymore, however, he’s interrupted.

“Here, I gotchu,” says Remy, and taps the shoulder of the girl ahead of them in line. She turns to look at them, vaguely curious, and Patton’s somewhat stunned by how obviously and boldly attractive she is. That’s not usually the kind of thing he notices. She’s got dark brown hair waterfalling down her shoulders, reaching nearly to her waist. It curls in tight corkscrews and the flyaways make a bright halo around her head in the light. Freckles are flung haphazardly across her nose, partially obscured by the oddly patterned gold makeup she’s wearing. She’s drawn swirls and solid blocks of gold all around her eyes. It looks like she’s wearing a gold leaf mask. Her features are clear and sharp, and she holds herself like a dancer, as though every movement is a choreographed step.

“Hi!” Remy smiles. “Patton’s trying to meet new people. You’re a new person. Meet each other.”

“Oh,” says the girl softly, and giggles. “Hi, Patton.” She holds out a hand for him to shake, and he takes it. Despite the heat her skin is cool and delicate; Patton feels like he’s holding a baby bird. “Are you a freshman too?” she asks.

“Uh, yeah.” He can’t think of anything to say after that, so he just keeps smiling.

“And this is…?” the girl asks, indicating Remy.

“Oh, I’m Remy.” says Remy, shifting her weight from hip to hip, watching the interaction between them and grinning. “We’re roommates.”

The girl raises one eyebrow. “Wow, they let you live with your girlfriend?” she asks. “That must’ve taken some fighting. How’d you do it?”

Patton chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, we’re not-”

“Patton’s single,” Remy says helpfully. “Very single,” she adds, eyes sparkling. Patton looks at her, a what-are-you-doing kind of look, but Remy doesn’t seem to take the hint and anyway...Patton’s not sure he minds all that much that this girl knows he’s single.

“So, Patton,” the girl asks, “where you from?”

“Ah, little town in the middle of nowhere. Victoria. You probably wouldn’t know it.”

The girl’s eyes light up. “Actually, I have a cousin in Victoria.”

“Oh, really? That’s cool. I wonder if I know her.”

They fall to talking about Victoria and the girl’s glamorous cousin (who evidently moved there because she had eloped with a boy that her parents, the girl’s aunt and uncle, had thoroughly disapproved of).

Remy stands by and smirks at the whole thing, swirling the seemingly unmeltable ice in her coffee. Patton’s not sure he’s entirely comfortable with that, but he really likes this girl, and with the way they’re talking it feels like it’s taken about five minutes to get the food table instead of the twenty that it probably is. The array of food is impressive: fruit bowls, a number of cold salads including potato, macaroni, and tuna, Indian rice, black beans, baked beans, tortilla chips, guacamole, and of course barbecue. Barbecued chicken, barbecued ribs, brisket...Patton can’t believe the school has the money to pay for all of this. Then again, he reasons, that’s probably where ridiculous tuition costs come in.

Patton takes what is probably way too much food and follows Remy and the girl they’d met in line to a clear spot on the grass.

“In the summer,” the girl tells him as they sit, “they bring a huge projector out here and show movies. It happens every weekend until it gets too cold.”

“Really?” asks Patton. “That’s so cool! Where did you learn that?”

“My sister used to go here,” the girl says breezily. She then proceeds to tell Patton everything she knows about the school: secret passages under the theater building, hauntings in the residence halls, scandals and epic senior pranks and legendary students. Patton doesn’t even feel like talking; he just wants to bask in the light coming off her.

About an hour later when the line’s died down he goes up to get more food even though he’s full; he’s not going to pass up an opportunity to eat barbecue, especially barbecue this good. The girl doesn’t seem to mind that he’s not contributing much to the conversation; instead, she seems to smile bigger or lean closer at his little “mhm”s and “gosh, what happened then?”s. Remy gets up and leaves and comes back and he hardly notices.

Finally his plate is emptied for a second time and the sun’s actually started to sink. Patton can’t believe how much time has passed. They’d been talking for ages. The lawn was still buzzing, of course, but people were starting to wander off to do other things--looking for freebies and checking out the halls. He suddenly remembers that his room still isn’t unpacked, and he hasn’t heard one word from Virgil. Not a single solitary “I’m okay” text.

He starts to get up with the intention of telling Remy that they should probably go unpack the room and falls back with a half groan instead. “Ugh, I don’t ever want to look at a piece of food again in my life.”

The girl giggles. “Should’ve slowed down, maybe?”

He smiles and shrugs. “Maybe.” He turns to Remy. “You wanna start unpacking?”

The girl brings a napkin delicately to her mouth. “You guys haven’t even started yet?”

“I was having too much fun,” says Patton sheepishly.

The girl tosses a long strand of hair over her shoulder. “Well, you two should probably go do that. I don’t mind, I’ve got other people to talk to.”

Maybe she doesn’t mean it the way it sounds, but the tiniest cold shiver runs down Patton’s spine. “Hey, wait,” he says. “You’ve gotta at least give me your number, after all that.”

He swallows hard. He’s used to approaching people, used to being what most people would call ridiculously outgoing, but he’s never asked for someone’s number so blatantly before.

She gives him a coquettish smile. “I suppose.” She holds out a hand. “Unlock your phone?”

He does, and hands it over. She takes it, eyes flickering mischievously between his eyes and the screen, and a moment later hands it back to him, flicking it off before she does so. Then she gets up and leaves, disappearing into the crowd so fast that Patton doesn’t even have the time to process and call out a goodbye until it’s too late. He looks up at Remy, who arches an eyebrow at him high enough that he can see it over her sunglasses.

“Well,” she says. “That was eventful.”

“Do you like her?” Patton asks anxiously as they start to clear away the plates and napkins.

“Too quick for any kind of judgement,” Remy says evenly. “She is interesting, I’ll give her that. Hey, did she ever say what her name is?”

“Shoot,” says Patton. “I can’t believe I completely forgot to ask.”

“Check your phone, maybe?” Remy says.

Patton pulls out his phone and brings up contacts. She hasn’t exactly hidden herself; she’s the very first contact on the list. Or, at least, he assumes that that’s her. He’s not sure he knows any other “snake emoji you’ll see winking face”es.

But he has been known to make mistakes.

He shoots off a quick text to Virgil-- How ya doing, buddy?-- and leaves it at that. Of course he’s worried, but it never does any good to push at Virgil. He doesn’t know how to push back and inevitably the whole thing just gets messy and sad and more often than not it ends in tears for one or both of them.

Walking back to his room already seems the tiniest bit familiar, and Patton is hoping that by the end of the semester this path will be seared into his brain. He wants it to feel like home. He can already imagine walking back from a class or lunch or coffee with Remy wearing matching scarves and cardigans in the fall, talking and laughing.

Somehow he can’t see Virgil in a scarf or cardigan.

When he and Remy make it back to the room, just the sight of all the boxes stacked on the floor makes him want to collapse and never move again. But then Remy bumps him from behind and says “get moving, slowpoke, or we’ll miss movie night,” and he gets a surge of energy.

“There’s movie night?” he says, perking up.

“Uhuh. Snake emoji girl was right, they sometimes do them on the lawn, but I think tonight it’ll be in the drama building, in the theater. In case it rains.”

“What’re we watching?” he asks.

Remy shrugs. “No idea. But a movie’s a movie, right?”

Patton’s not entirely sure he agrees, so he just shrugs back and changes the subject. “Are you really going to call her snake emoji girl now?”

“Yup,” says Remy, grinning. “It’s stuck in my head and won’t get out. She’s going to forever be snake emoji girl so get used to it. Unless you’d prefer eye makeup sorceress, Rapunzel of curls, or little miss talkative.”

“Um…” Patton can’t really say that any of those are appealing.

“Great. Snake emoji girl it is.”

“If you say so.”

“...We should probably be unpacking instead of sitting on the beds and talking.”

Patton groans and stands up, but continues talking. It becomes rather quickly apparent that the two of them aren’t really able to be in the same room without talking, but they do manage to get all the boxes opened and their contents dumped out on the floor. This is very satisfying at first, but then Patton looks at the huge mess they’ve made of the floor and kind of wants to pull his hair out.

“No worries!” says Remy. “We just...uh...we need music.”

She pulls her phone out of her pocket, runs to the kitchen and comes back with a red solo cup, and puts on Pandora before placing the phone carefully in the cup. The music echoes out, a little tinny and artificial but definitely louder. Remy’s selected some song with sugary sweet pop tunes that all sound like they were played on the bus on the way to school in 2012-- Party in the USA, Girlfriend, Call Me Maybe, et cetera.

Honestly it’s not too far off from what Patton usually listens to.

“So where’d you meet Virgil? What’s his deal?” Remy asks as they start dividing up dresser and closet spaces, refolding the clothes that got jostled in the moving process or in being tossed to the floor (which is pretty much all of them).

“We grew up together,” Patton tells her. “We were in the same kindergarten class and...I dunno, I just kinda gravitated to him. The kid just looked so lonely, y’know?”

Remy glances over at him. “You remember thinking that all the way back then?”

Patton frowns. “I’m not sure. It’s just kind of a….feeling from a memory, that I remembered.” he shrugs. “And anyway, just look at him. Kid’s always had kind of a...lonely demeanor.”

Patton had always sort of hated that. Hated that his friendship wasn’t enough to lift the moodiness that seemed to settle around Virgil like dark clouds.

“Anyway,” he says, “We were friends in kindergarten, and just...never stopped. He had a whole lot of stuff going on in middle school, and it only got worse in high school….and I just...I wanted to be there for him, y’know?” He stares down at his tie dyed green tee shirt. “He’s like my brother. Heh, even my siblings just seem to think that he’s part of the family.”

Remy nods from her seat on the floor, going through a pile of sundresses. “I think that’s really great,” she says softly. “That you guys have been friends for so long.”

Patton smiles at her. “Well, hopefully we’ll be friends for just as long.”

Remy giggles. “That’s mathematically impossible, you dork. You’ll never know me for longer or as long as you’ve known him, because you’ll always have known him for whatever the number of years between kindergarten and freshman year of high school is longer than you’ve known me.”

Patton giggles at her. “All the same,” he says. “We’ll be close, right?”

“Definitely,” says Remy, shaking out a sundress patterned with red poppies. “Speaking of,” she says, suddenly sharp, “You never told me your thoughts on snake emoji girl.”

“That’s gonna get awkward to say real quick,” Patton mutters.

“Snemojirl, then,” says Remy, making Patton snort. “What’s the deal?”

“Aw, geez, I don’t know, Remy!” he says. “This is literally our first day on campus. We haven’t even had classes start yet.”

“Buuuut…” Remy prompts, wiggling her eyebrows. Patton sighs. “No ‘buts’ yet. No matter how good they look,” he adds cheekily.

Remy pouts. “But you’ll talk to me like we’re best friends and this is the first day we’re even meeting in person.”

Patton holds up a hand. “Actually- can we maybe limit talking about that?”

Remy looks puzzled. “Limit talking about what.?”

“About...us knowing each other before this.”

Remy only looks more confused. “But Patton, literally every set of roommates knows who the other roommate is going to be before they get to campus. Can you imagine meeting your roommate for the first time as soon as you get to campus? On the day you’re literally supposed to start living together?”

Patton chuckles uncomfortably, but he’s sure it sounds more like he’s choking. “Um, Remy-?”

“What?”

Remy looks up from her pile of sundresses and seems to catch his meaning. “Oh. Ohhh. Wait. Not oh. I’m confused. Explain. Why did Virgil just meet his roommate today?”

“He...he thought his roommate was going to be me.”

“Yeah? And you guys had some kind of problem with administration, right?”

“Uh...not exactly, no.” Patton buries his face in the shirt he’s holding. It smells like it’s been drying in the sun, like heat and dregs of laundry detergent and dryer sheets and his cologne. “Virge and I requested a room together. Well. We were supposed to. He requested a room with me. I….” Patton lets out a soft snort. “I was really, really stupid, Remy.”

“What’d you do?” Remy asks softly, and Patton can hear the concern in her voice.

“I withdrew my request to room with Virgil and put in preferences for a random roommate, and that’s how I ended up with you. That’s why I actually had to use the gender neutral opt in, because I was looking for people that were...not...Virgil.” Patton unburies his face from the tee shirt. It sounds awful when he puts it that way.

“Oh my god, why?” Remy asks. “Did you tell Virgil?”

Patton picks up the next tee shirt, tossing the first one into a drawer. “Did you see how upset he was? Of course I didn’t tell him.”

“But why’d you do it?” Remy repeats.

Patton balls up the next shirt he’s holding almost angrily, picks up the next one. “Because I really, really really want him to be able to survive on his own. He’s been clinging to me his whole life, and it’s not like I don’t mind….heck, if I could I’d never have him leave my side for the rest of our lives...but…” Patton bites his lower lip. “He’s dependent on me, I think.”

“Ohhh,” says Remy softly.

“I didn’t want him to just...y’know, keep on being the exact same all through college. And I feel like if I didn’t...fling him into the deep end, so to speak, he’d never learn to swim.

Remy stands up and lays a hand on his arm. “You’re not his dad, y’know.” Her tone is still gentle. “It’s not your responsibility to make him grow.”

Patton half pulls away, frustrated. “But no one else is going to do it! His parents treat him like some kind of ornamental goldfish! And like, not even like they know about and care about the proper treatment of ornamental goldfish! Just like...bad goldfish owners!”

“Still,” says Remy, “that doesn’t mean it should be your job.”

Patton groans and flops onto his bed. “I guess.”

Remy mirrors him, flopping onto her bed. “You wanna ask housing if we can do bunk beds?”

“Huh?”

“Enough serious talk, Pats, we’re gonna make our room look awesome.”

“Okay,” says Patton quietly.

“It’ll be fun,” Remy presses.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any hobbies, Patton?”

“Uh...keeping Virgil out of trouble?” Patton tries to joke.

“Ha, ha. I mean fun stuff.”

“Before we talk about that, Remy, do you promise not to tell Virgil that I withdrew my request?”

Remy props herself up on her elbow and frowns at him from across the room. “Hm. I suppose so. But I honestly think you should tell him at some point. It’s not good to keep stuff like that from your friends. Especially if it’s eating away at you like this is for you.”

“Okay,” says Patton in a half groan. “I’ll tell him. At some point. I promise. But I’ll tell him after he discovers that he actually really likes his new roommate, and they’re super close friends, and their dorm looks so awesome he won’t wanna move, and he’s decided he likes all his classes, and-”

“Okay, okay,” says Remy, waving a hand at him. “But hobbies?”

Patton rolls over so he can look at her. “Well...I really like astronomy. So I do a lot of stargazing.”

Remy perks up. “Have you seen the observatory yet?”

“Yeah!” says Patton, lighting up like a glowstick. “Isn’t it awesome? I can’t wait to be there at night.”

“Me neither.”

They manage to unpack the room fairly quickly, outdated pop playing in the background and making Patton feel like he’s in a slightly lame but weirdly motivating music video for a teen summer blockbuster. The montage of unpacking at the awesome new school.

Two hours later, everything is put away and Remy is leaning over Patton’s shoulder as they check the internet for which constellations will be visible that night. Patton’s almost put Virgil out of his mind, determined to give him some space, when he gets a long overdue text back.

Patton. Can we meet somewhere that’s not my room? I’m not okay.

Patton’s heart sinks but he stands up from the computer, fingers already flying over the keypad. Sure, what’s up? Where do you want to meet?

By the river, maybe? I don’t know. I’ll tell you when we get there.

“What’s up?” Remy asks when Patton stands up. Patton must be frowning pretty hard at his phone.

“Uh...Virgil needs me. I’m not sure what’s wrong. I’ll be back later for movie night.” He gives her a halfhearted smile and pushes out the door before she can ask questions.

The river is almost right behind their hall. Patton has to walk along it for a while before he finds Virgil. Almost no one is around; Patton figures they’re all still at the barbecue or exploring the actual buildings on the grounds. Whatever it is, the nearest person is at least a quarter mile away on the other side of campus.

He’s perched on the guardrail of the bridge, hunched together, earbuds in. He looks like the album cover of a depressing band that died out in 2007. But then again, that’s how Virgil usually looks. It’s just striking Patton in particular right now.

“Virgil, buddy, what’s up?” he calls before he’s fully there.

Virgil looks up and Patton immediately goes still. His eyeliner is running all over his face; he hasn’t even attempted to wipe it away. He looks like he just got done sobbing.

As soon as Patton walks onto the bridge, Virgil hops off the railing, throws himself into Patton’s arms.

“P-patton, I h-hate my roommate. S-so much.”

“Aw, Virge,” says Patton, recovering from his shock enough to trail a hand over Virgil’s back. “Are you sure he’s that bad? I mean, you’ve known him, what, a few hours?”

“I d-don’t care. I w-wanna kill him.”

“Whoa there kiddo, that’s a bit of a leap, don’t you think?”

Virgil makes a vaguely disgruntled noise and wipes a hand under his eyes, smearing the eyeliner across his cheeks.

“I wanna go home, Pat. Just wanna go home.”

“This...this’ll feel like home soon enough, Virgil,” says Patton, hunting around for words. “Look, maybe this’ll be a really good experience for you! You got real good classes, didn’t you? Philosophy and biology and…” Patton can’t remember what else Virgil’s taking, so he just expands on those. “And you love philosophy, right? I can barely keep up with you. And you’re always drawing animals, and you have all those plants in your room.”

“It’s not the same,” Virgil mumbles. “Pat. I had a really bad panic attack just now. I think...I think they might be getting worse.”

Patton’s frown deepens. “Well, we can’t have that,” he says. “Why didn’t you call? Or walk over to my room? It’s only a few rooms down.”

“Couldn’t,” says Virgil. “I froze up again. Patton, what if I start having panic attacks in class? People are gonna think I’m a freak.”

“No, they’re not,” Patton sighs. “Plenty of adults have panic attacks. Especially, I’m sure, adults in college.”

Virgil whimpers.

“And,” Patton continues, “If you get a panic attack in class, you’ll just do what you did in high school. Wait it out if you can’t move, or go get a drink of water if you can. You don’t even have to ask anymore.” Patton tries to smile at him, but Virgil resists his attempt to pull his head away from Patton’s shoulder.

“If you want to, if it’s really bad, you can even walk out and not come back. Just go to your room to calm down, email the professor, take the rest of the day off. This is college, Virgil. We’re adults. People care way less what we do now.”

“Still,” Virgil wails. “I’m going to have to go back to my room with my awful roommate.”

Patton sighs. “Virge, really, you gotta give him a chance. For me?”

Patton can practically feel the frown emanating from Virgil. “I guess. For you.”

There’s another unexpected pulse of guilt. Patton squeezes Virgil, trying to make the feeling go away. “You coming to movie night tonight?”

“Um...I..uh...I might. Will there be food?”

Patton tries to hide his grin. He has a feeling Virgil’s just going to get away from his roommate, but still. “Probably. I’ll ask Remy.”

Virgil pulls away then, hops back onto the railing of the bridge, and stares off into the water as he attempts to (and fails miserably at) scrubbing the eyeliner off his face. “Okay. I’ll see you then.”

Patton tries not to feel offended. Virgil often shuts down after an emotional event or recovering from a panic attack. He feels like he should probably be used to it by now, but he’s not. But he respects Virgil’s space.

When he gets back to the room, Remy’s asleep. It looks like such a good idea that he curls up and goes to sleep on his own bed, clothes and all.

#sanders sides #patton #virgil #roman #logan #college au #thomas sanders #mine #my fics #tw: eating disorder

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michellemaphoto · 7 years ago

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Rome, Italy

Hello there! I was in Italy in mid-summer, but as life took over since then, I’ve only had a chance to write about it now that I have a bit of downtime around the holidays.

Italy was a magical trip, not least because I had such a wonderful host and ample time on my hands to explore and wander. For those who have never been to Rome, it’s an amazing city to wander in, and I savored every minute of it. From wandering the streets, finding historical sites every few blocks, coffee shops, restaurants, and boutiques, there is always something interesting around the corner for me to discover and think about. Below are the highlights and more photos here. Enjoy!

Where I Stayed

I don’t have any photos of this place as I didn’t much like it, but I stayed at the Beehive Hostel, at the Clover offsite apartment house so I could have my own home. It’s only a few blocks from Termini station, but the off site apartment wasn’t in the best part of town and was definitely sketchy at night. While the interior was clean, it was little more than a place to sleep and shower, and wasn’t a place I felt like I could chill in. The guest turnaround was also what you’d expect from a hostel. Some were polite and friendly, some were rude and noisy, and others in-between. Overall, I would have had a better experience if I stayed on-site, but there weren’t any openings for the time of year I went, and I needed to be reasonably close to my friend and a subway station, plus I had budgeted more money into eating and shopping, so my options were indeed limited. It wasn’t the most expensive place to stay in, but I was happy to be out and stay with Alexandra in her beautiful art-deco home for the remainder of my time in Rome.

Food

Ain’t a Rome post without writings on food. Rome was full of fresh and affordable food so I didn’t feel the urge to have fancy dinners here. The best part about food in Italy is that it’s high quality, portioned well (neither too much nor too little, and never stingy), and affordable for students and working people alike. Food equality! I can’t emphasize enough the quality of ingredients and attention to the enjoyment of food. None of the food I had made me sleepy, sick, or otherwise feel horrible, which often happens in the US if I indulge in starch and sweets. And the passion people put in their food prep translates into an otherworldly experience when I take my first few bites, until the very end of my meal. An entire country that loves food as much as, but likely more than, I do, and that makes all my favorite food beautifully. I’LL BE BACK!

Breakfast Food

For breakfast, I often had an espresso drink, either straight espresso, macchiato, or cappuccino, and perhaps with a pastry, such as a cornetto or chocolate croissant, when I was feeling more peckish. It’s usually what Italians eat for breakfast, and I don’t eat a lot of breakfast normally anyway, so it suited me well. Usually it’s 1 euro each for a drink and a pastry. I can’t imagine getting this level of quality and experience in the Bay Area for even 3x that price. Bay Area’s gotta step it up!

1. Cambridge Cafe

Cambridge Cafe was in a beautiful, more suburban part of town whose architecture was reminiscent of some neighborhoods in Paris. I loved the morning bustle here but it wasn’t touristy at all, which I much enjoyed. The coffee and pastries were also delicious!

I went here quite a few times for the delicious coffee and variety of pastries. The chocolate croissant was fresh and still had molten chocolate inside.

2. Mizzica

This gem of a bakery serves Sicilian pastries and it was absolutely wondrous to look at the displays while I waited in line. I got a small pistachio cannolo and a chocolate pastry that resembled a donut (dunno what it’s called, sorry!). Both were incredible and I savored every last crumb. The cannoli in Italy are a different item completely from the starchy mess I’ve had in the US. It’s definitely worth a try from a genuine Sicilian bakery.

I made a real mess eating this. No regrets.

3. Mercato Centrale

Mercato Centrale is a food court that is connected to Termini Station above ground. But, calling it a food court is really a disservice because I have never seen any food court like this back in the US. Perhaps it’s a bit like the higher end food courts I found in the fancy department stores in Japan, but this definitely had its own flavor and personality. It’s open early and closes late, which is perfect for commuters and travelers alike, and serves a variety of foods, ranging from breakfast and pastries to coffee, wines, other drinks, and prepared foods such as pasta, sandwiches, and desserts. It also features a meat market and pasta market, so there’s plenty to see here.

I went here a couple times as well since it was at the train station nearest my hostel and served such delicious food I knew I could count on it in times of hangriness. The mercato here also serves coffee and pastries and I went here on one of my first days in Rome to try a couple items. I got a cappuccino and cornetto speciale (which has chocolate swirls in the crust), and had a bit of heaven.

Lunch

There are so many lunch options in Rome it’s hard to list out all the choices I had, but I’ll list the highlights below. Any form of starch you want, you got it! Pasta, pizza, sandwiches, salads, and so much else, that I’d have to live here at least a few years to go into detail what the city has to offer. Here are my humble meals.

1. Mercato Centrale

Ok, I went here a bunch of times because of its convenience, quality, and sheer variety of food to eat. It also was smartly situated at my subway stop and was a great option after sightseeing all morning and needed to rest my feet before going back to the hostel. My first meal in Rome with my friend was actually here, where I had pasta with cacio e pepe. DELICIOUS. Blew my mind. No cacio e pepe in the US ever tasted like this. Actually, except for Pizzaiolo and Pazzo, no Italian restaurant in the US that I have tried has gotten even close to any pasta I’ve had in Rome. They just can’t touch this. And all this for about 8 euros! I was in heaven.

Cacio e pepe

Pesto pasta

Ravioli

2. Il Sorpasso

This place is great for a lunch or dinner and has a fun, busy vibe that’s great for meeting up with friends, and romantic enough for dinner. For lunch, I went by myself at at at the bar, starting first with a coffee, prosciutto, and having a potato tortino with vegetables. Delicious! If only there was a menu in English, as I’d actually been looking for a pasta with red sauce. So it goes. I also ordered too much, as you can probably guess. I was hungry. Just finish your food, kids, or you’ll get a disapproving look from the serving staff. SIGH.

3. Baccanale

Baccanale isn’t far from Piazza Navona or Campo d’Fiori, so it was a good stop for lunch while sightseeing that day. The sandwich options were also tasty and it was fun to walk around and see the sights while munching on a sandwich of salami and cheese.

Dinner

1. Ristorante Pecorino

This restaurant served incredible carbonara. Although, tbh, I about died at every meal because everything that I tried was so good. This place still blew everything away. It’s quite a bit pricier than the other places I listed above, but it’s well worth the money. There is even an additional level of refinement here in ambiance and food preparation that is worth every extra euro I paid for my meal. I ate with my friend Alexandra, first sharing a fried artichoke appetizer and digging into my carbonara, before finishing off the meal with a zabaione and amaro del capo. It was a dinner I won’t forget, and inspired me to make carbonara at home and search for quality guanciale. The search, sadly, continues, but the memory lives on.

The food was so good I even braved the cultural disapproval and exasperation in asking for a box to go so I could eat it for breakfast. No shame!

2. Il Sorpasso

Il Sorpasso was also a delicious place, and was completely different at night, with the darker dining area and candlelit meals. It’s a great place for a date or a nice night out with good friends, and I really enjoyed my meal here. We started with some bread and cheese, and I ordered a glass of red wine to go with my pasta.

3. L’antica Pizzeria Da Michele

This place is my pizza soulmate. It’s also incredibly busy so we went at 7:30 for dinner, which is early here, but perfect timing for me, which ended in a 10 minute wait (hooray!) For the two times I went here, I ordered local craft beer, which paired excellently with my Neapolitana and Margherita pizzas. Thin crust, baked at incredibly high temps for a short period of time, just enough to blister the crust and make it crunchy on the outside, while leaving the inside doughy and pleasantly chewy. When I go back to Rome, this will be one of my first stops after I dump my shit at the hotel. Yep.

4. Alice Pizza

Alice Pizza is Roman style pizza, and this place sells pizza by the kilo, so you can tell the server to cut as much as you’d like off the sheet of pizza on display. No shame. I loved the slightly thicker crust here, square slices, and the still-chewy dough. The Italians don’t take any shortcuts when it comes to their yeast bread, that’s for sure.

I had this once at the actual restaurant and once at a house party, and both times the pizza was delicious and satisfying to the soul. Very different from the Neapolitan pizza, but no less satisfying. I had mushrooms and margherita, the slices were substantial.

5. Ops!

One evening, we felt like having something simple, so opted to go to Ops! for dinner, where food is purchased buffet style and weighed at the cashier. It was a simple arrangement and the food was delicious. No complaints here.

Other grocery stores

The grocery stores here were also to die for. I loved to wander the aisles and see what each shop had to offer, whether it was an incredible wine selection, chocolate section, or lots of fresh fruit. Some of the best grocery stores were small family-owned ones selling the most incredibly fresh fruit I have ever seen. I purchased a kilo of cherries for less than 3 euros, and it was a varietal I can’t find in the states. Sweet with nuance, crispy, juicy, fleshy, and better than anything people describe as fruit that tastes like candy. The bigger grocery stores that had prepared food sold a mouth-watering variety of fresh baked bread, burratta cheese and other cheeses, and cured meats, such as salami and prosciutto. These places are great when going on a picnic, and we stopped by on our way to a picnic at Villa Borghese with another friend living in Rome.

Gelato

I’m not allowed to skip this section. Mostly because I had gelato nearly every day... Yep. It was that good. And there are that many places to try. And every place serves 2 scoops of gelato of your choice, fills the bottom of your cone (and you had better get a cone, you noob) with molten milk or white chocolate, and even gives you fresh whipped cream or a cookie on top, depending on the place, for no extra charge. All under 3 euros. So eat your heart out. I certainly did, and I had no shame in walking a bit extra instead of buying another subway pass just so I could have those minutes of anticipation and bliss. So do it. You won’t regret this. Especially in a fucking June-July heat wave.

The gelato I had at these places (and everywhere else I went) had incredibly fresh gelato, often made with organic ingredients. You could taste the chocolate, the fruit, and all the quality ingredients and love that went into each scoop. You can see the attention with which each server scoops and shapes the gelato by hand (with such flair!) onto the cone so that it’s the perfect soft-serve consistency from the first bite, or fills the cone with molten chocolate, or adds the little cookie on top. The love and attention to detail are everywhere, AS LONG AS YOU AVOID THE TOURIST TRAPS. Not only are the tourist traps more expensive, the ingredients are cheap and they might even use food coloring for how strangely some of the gelato looked coming out of those shops. Just don’t do it. Walk those extra blocks and try these places, or I’ll scorn you forever. And get the regular size -- two scoops, on a cone. Don’t try to cheap out or count calories with one cone or ask for a damn cup. Or you’ll endure the hatred of literally everyone in Italy. Eat this proper.

1. Guttilla

This was my favorite gelato place of all I tried in Rome. The gelato was better than La Romana, the cone was slightly sweet, pleasantly crunchy on the outside with a tiny but of doughyness on the tongue on the inside, and the fruit berry gelato flavor was to die for. I went here at least a couple times. I’d learn Italian just so I could order food.

I didn’t have time to check out all the other goodies on offer here, but I’ll come back for you!

Whimsy and art taken to a fanatical level. YES. You are my people.

2. Gelateria La Romana

The whipped cream at this place trumps the whipped cream I had at any other gelato place in Italy, period. While Guttilla had better gelato, the whipped cream here is worth the trip alone. Don’t get me wrong, the gelato is still top notch and I’m splitting hairs here. Try this too!

And try these and tell me what they’re like! They look heavenly.

Sightseeing

I sprinkled all the eating in between sightseeing, so I’d advise travelers to map out what sights are close to each other and in what neighborhoods, and then do research on places to eat nearby. Rome required a TON of walking, about as much as Tokyo did, so I had to prepare for transit time and good shoes. Not to mention being hungry after a couple hour-long outing.

I organized my sightseeing highlights in order of my favs (Vatican City and Museum of Modern Art being my top picks if you only have 24-48 hours in Rome), and the rest are grouped by vicinity, for ease of planning. Hope this helps!

1. Vatican City

The Vatican was my favorite sight in all of Rome, to my surprise. I’m neither very knowledgeable about the history of the Vatican nor Catholic, but the museum had a collection of breathtaking structures and pieces of art that I was in awe my entire time here. My favorite gallery was the Gallery of Cartography of Italy, since I love looking at maps and the ornate ceiling was captivating.

The Sistine Chapel (no photos allowed) was beautiful as well, and well worth the crowds and the pushy people, but after seeing all the beauty around me on the rest of the tour, it wasn’t my main highlight.

My favorite at the Vatican was, of course, St. Peter’s Basilica. The architecture, art and sculpture, history and overall feel of being inside and having a quiet moment is something special which I can’t describe in words. It was a comforting and awe-inspiring place to be, and I’m lucky to have been able to visit and drink in all the beauty and history.

No visit to St. Peter’s is complete without a climb up the cupola, or dome, for an extra few euros.The climb up is long and stuffy, and the crowds can be unbearable at times, but the view of the rest of the Vatican looking down, and the rest of Rome, is truly worth the struggle. And with the crowds that day and the intense heat, it was one of those days where I wanted a nap and gelato after.

Also, after seeing the museums and St. Peter’s during the day, it was quite a nice change to come back at night later in my trip to see the Vatican lit up at night, with quiet streets and no crowds.

2. National Gallery of Modern Art

The National Gallery of Modern Art was a close second when it came to favorite sites. It contains art (paintings, sculpture, other installations) from the 19th and 20th centuries and has the largest modern art collection in all of Italy. Many of the pieces were striking in their simplicity and use of color and lines, and others were more whimsical. It was a great way to spend an afternoon, indoors and away from the heat. Not only are the museum grounds beautiful, but the walk through the museum was incredibly well-planned and the items on exhibit carefully curated. So, while the museum was one of the smaller ones I visited when in Italy, every piece made me pause in thought. I’m also a modern art lover, so this was an ideal place to visit! It’s accessible by tram and is pretty easy to get to. Favorite art pieces below!

3. Colosseum

I saw the Colosseum, Roman Forum, Trajan’s Column, and Vittoriano in one trip as they’re all walking distance from each other, and off the Colosseo subway stop. I actually visited the Roman Forum, Trajan’s Column, and Vittoriano a few times while walking by and wandering the city, so I was able to capture the Forum and Vittoriano during the day and at night.

I learned some really neat facts about the Colosseum while walking on the grounds. It required a ticket to get in, and took about an hour to an hour and a half to walk through different parts of the structure and through the museum. It was breathtaking not only by its sheer size, condition of the surviving structure, and also with the knowledge that the entire thing was build without modern tools. To add on top of that, the stadium seating and entrances and exits were designed so that the a full stadium of people could completely exit the Colosseum in only a few minutes. I don’t know if even modern stadium can accomplish that. Apparently, the Colosseum also had become a jungle as it grew over and fell into disuse, and in the Middle Ages, was inhabited by people who partitioned off parts into homes and workshops. What a history!

4. The Roman Forum

The Roman Forum was also a sight to see. Sunken below street level, the walkway we walked on was the same sidewalk the Romans used thousands of years ago. I pictured the marketplaces, places of worship (temples and churches), and even Caesar’s funeral pyre as I walked around the Roman Forum, admiring the beautiful marble pillars still standing and the ornate carving on them.

5. Trajan’s Column

North of the Roman Forum and across the street, Trajan’s Column was built in AD 113 or so, and celebrated Emperor Trajan’s victory in the Dacian Wars. The spiral bas relief was something to see, thousands of years later.

6. Vittoriano

The Vittoriano was built in the 19th century to honor Italy’s first king, and was even more beautiful at night.

7. Pizza Navona

I visited Piazza Navona, the Trevi Fountain, Campo d’Fiori, and Pantheon in a walking tour one day, which took the better part of the late morning and afternoon, counting a couple times when I took a wrong turn, and also when I stopped to browse some boutiques. The Piazza Navona was actually my favorite spot of all of these four, followed closely by the Pantheon. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as interested in the Trevi Fountain, despite all the talk it gets.

Fountain of the Four Rivers, with an Egyptian obelisk.

8. Trevi Fountain

The Trevi Fountain, in the district of Trevi, is the largest baroque fountain in Rome. Even though it was stunning and beautiful, I much preferred Piazza Navona and the fountain there.

9. Campo d’Fiori

Campo d’Fiori, south of Piazza Navona, was a square with an outdoor market, comprised mostly of touristy souvenirs, and crowded as all hell. I walked around quickly and then wandered to Baccanale for lunch, barely a block or so away.

10. Pantheon

The Pantheon was something else. Another structure whose sheer scale and grandeur, not to mention condition, the Pantheon was well worth the horrible crowds, just so I could go inside and look up in amazement at the beauty around me. Sadly, my humble 50mm could not capture all I could see.

11. Largo di Torre Argentina

I couldn’t visit the site of Caesar’s funeral pyre at the Roman Forum and not go to Largo di Torre Argentina, the site where he was murdered.

11. Villa Borghese

I didn’t walk through all of Villa Borghese, as it’s huge, but the gardens are beautiful, tranquil, and the perfect spot for some morning exercises or an afternoon picnic. I opted for the latter with a couple friends and enjoyed a leisurely meal in the shade of a large tree.

12. Monti neighborhood

On my first day in Rome, Alexandra took me for a nice after lunch stroll through Monti, a picturesque and popular neighborhood, where I could start to soak in the architecture, coffee, and gelato.

13. Romeow Cat Cafe

I had to go here. I mean, I went to Tokyo just to see 20 cats eating in a row at the MoCHA Cat Cafe in Shibuya. Rome has one cat cafe, and I had to see what the Italian kitties were like. The cafe served delicious smoothies and had a coffee shop / lounge feel that was great for conversation and for searching for kitties to pet. It was really fun and low-key, and quite different from the Tokyo experience, which felt more structured.

The Cat Cafe is in the Testaccio neighborhood, so I had a chance to wander through the area, admire Pyramide, and head to Ristorante Pecorino for lunch after.

Shopping

No post about Rome is complete without a list of places to go shopping or browse:

Intimissimi: for pajamas and underwear, and all other pretty things

Flavio Castellani: for high end boutique clothing made in Italy. It’s high quality here, with the flair of something you can only get in Italy, but without the ghastly price tag of Gucci. Do check it out, even if you don’t buy!

And, if you do go shopping, ask about getting VAT refunds, and get to the airport early to cash out at a Global Blue kiosk. Don’t be those asshole tourists who try to cut in line, 10 at a time, so they can get their money back AND make their flight back. They got yelled at. No sympathy!

Go to Rome! Also, go to Florence! I’ll be writing about it soon :)

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