#i gotta remind myself of this hack

[elibeeline]

Update, i had something sweet and something salty and felt a lot better :) turns out i just lacked some vitamin 👍

[orcelito]

Flossing my teeth and getting in the gums like Yes I'm going to get a good grade in dental care. Which is normal to want and possible to achieve.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

do we get to see the logan and wade conflict about writer!reader? i am loving the series so far!!!

Wade laid you on the couch carefully, "How the fuck did you not shred your feet?"

"I dunno-"

"And why the fuck did you lie to me?" he asked.

You shrug, "If I could have gotten a word in edgewise it might have been different. But you were so busy buying "world's okayest uncle" shit-"

"Calling myself the best is conceited."

"Fuck you." You give him a look and Logan can't see what passes between you. And he tries Not to go over there. Not to loom. But when you start crying again it takes a monumental amount of effort.

"Okay, okay I get it. I'm a fucking asshole," Wade said, pulling you into a hug and rocking you gently. "Please stop crying. Don't cry. Fuck-"

Logan quietly. It was the same tone of voice as a kid smacking the other to hard and saying "don't tell mom". Except neither of you ever really told your mom anything- Well. You didn't if you could help it anyway.

"Can't help it," you sniffle.

"If you don't stop crying, I'll cry," he teased, reaching over to pass you tissues.

"Why-"

"Because," Wade teased. "My baby sister is sneaky enough to hide a whole baby daddy- You really had me thinking it was that hack mystery writer."

"Ugh. He wishes."

______________

Logan knew he was being watched. Carefully. By everyone. And he tried not to take it personally. It was his own fault, anyway.

But- it didn't make it any easier to take care of you. At least not for him, he kept waiting for someone to yell at him. But. When you reached for him. Looking for HIM to help you or just to be close to him it helped.

"How're you feelin', Princess?" he asked, wrapping his arms around you in the kitchen.

"Like I could go back to bed," you yawn, pouring a cup of coffee. "But. I gotta get some work done. Come up with some bank account padding."

"Sleep okay?" he asked, kissing your shoulder. He'd been next to you. You'd been wedged between him and a pillow. But, that didn't mean you slept very much.

"Fine," you tell him, turning your head to look at him, "Just- still running numbers trying to make the math, math."

Logan shook his head and pulled you a little closer, tentatively laying his hand on your stomach- you were starting to get a little bump now. He'd felt it when he held you. But. He wanted. Well. What he wanted didn't really matter- you were hesitating about some things. He'd gotten heated kisses and he could smell the need; your hormones driving you up the wall. But he was trying to keep the ball in your court. Even if he'd love to take you back to bed and fuck the thoughts out of your head. Replace the needy painful ache you couldn't quite soothe with an ache that left you satisfied.

"I picked up some construction work," Logan said. "It's gonna be fine, Y/N."

"Logan-"

"I told you," he hummed. "I wasn't gonna be some fuckin' deadbeat and make you do it all." He cradled the little bump and bent his head to bury his face in your neck. Grateful you didn't push his hands away. " 's my baby," he said. "Gonna make sure they're taken care of."

"You're a good man for the worst Wolverine," you tell him.

He chuckled and hugged you a little tighter, "Gotta take care of my girl to take care of my kid," he reminded. He let go of you and went to his jacket, pulling out his wallet and a small wad of cash. "It's not a lot," he said. "Used a chunk to get some documents so I could get a bank account. But- Here" He held it out to you insistently.

"It's not that dire, Logan," you tell him, gently pushing it back. "I can manage for now-"

"Take it and get yourself something then," he said ignoring you and tucking it teasingly into your shirt between your breasts. Trying not to notice that your stomach wasn't the only thing looking a little rounder. "I'm not any good at picking out presents."

You feel your body flood with heat when his fingers brush the skin of your breasts and it's all you can do not to whine. "I- thank you," you murmur, kissing his cheek before you had to turn and leave the kitchen. Before you threw yourself at him.

Logan took a deep breath and let you go. The scent of your arousal making him feel weak-kneed. Ball in her court, he reminded himself. Maybe putting the cash in your tits was too much. But- he'd heard enough horror stories on daytime TV with Althea. He didn't want you thinking he didn't WANT to fuck you. And he didn't want you thinking that you weren't attractive to him. He'd made up his mind. This was his girl and his kid.

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 FINALE

This has me kinda scared because Normally when this happens, it usually means 2 thing's; 1 this is either going to be Very long episode or 2, Somebody's going to die, and with the way the creator's have been teasing us with Tweets about Kara's demise, I'm guessing it's the ladder, and if that's the case WTF DC

Also if had a nickel for everytime that a Giant spaceship threatened to Destroy Earth as a way to Rebuild krypton in a Superman story, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's happened twice

So lemme get this straight, this Lex is smart enough to build the parasite suit, have a fail safe for that, is able to frame Superman gaining Millions of followers and government access, infuse Kryptonite to Kryptonian built robots, but isn't smart enough to come up with a fail safe when said robots get hacked!?....yeah I call Bullshit

Hell yeah the Cavalry's here! oh, and Sam too I guess whatever, listen the FANS might've forgiven your ass for abandoning lois 6 episodes ago, but I sure as hell don't, in all seriousnes tho I am glad he got some sort of character development regarding his relationship with Superman, seeing it as how he is now trying to help him instead of ya know, Trying to Kill him 😅 btw I kinda feel stupid for asking myself how the heck they turned invisible, only to realize they were actually holding on to Only the character who Can turn invisible Lol 😅😅 also did anyone else immediately thought've Lobo when he said the Main man, no, just me

Wow I can't belive they actually gave Kara the Winter soldier treatment, from the brainwashing, Down to him effing reactivating it like freakin Zemo, Well looks like Clark's gonna have to fight his cousin again, hopefully he doesn't end up like last time, or if not maybe Jimmy can talk some sense into her, Seeing as how it was seeing a picture of Jimmy which resulted in her breaking free from Brainiacs control, maybe this where he can finally confesses his feelings for her, Omg I would love that ^w^

Wait you're telling me Brainiac Did it, that he's the reason why krypton exploded, that HE Killed clarks and Kara's parents!? Oh nah Brainiac gotta die now, also has anyone else how similar he is to Zod, from his reasoning, to his personality, to even this whole effing scenario, like This is some shit Zod would've done, and it's funny because I was actually thinking about this not to long ago about how we technically don't need Zod in this show because Brainiac fits that role perfectly, especially with how he's been depicted this season, Omg if this was an intentional Detail on their part, then it's official, this show never ceases to Amaze me

Uh oh scary Kara's back, Damn it Brainiac why you gotta be such a Bitch; Also it may be nothing, but the way those missiles were moving kinda reminded of the way Darksides Omega beams would move, which got me thinking about something; What if Kryptons technology is possibly made from Apocalypse

This shot is ABSOLUTELY Beautiful; from the colors, to the camera work, to even the Symbolism between him and the Sun, everything was just Screams Superman

Tbh out of all the anime tropes they've done this season, I gotta say Talk no jutsu the 1 was NOT expecting them pull, and ya know what, I'm actually kinda glad they did, because it just fits Superman's MO; Superman has always been represented for kindness not his strength, like even if you've done him dirty, he'll still always choose to help you because that's just who he is, hes the person who just wants to help, he'll carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, he's the person who will try to stop a threat with his words before having to result to violence, he's the Man of Steel not because of what he can do, but because of who he is and always will be, hence why this trope works perfectly for him, it's the Perfect representation of what he embodies, Compassion, That's what makes him Superman

Ok I have a few things regarding this scene, 1st off i Absolutely love my 2 star children, 2nd of all Kara don't throw him into the sun, that's how make Nuclear man 😂 3rd of all, in all honesty, I was not worried 1 bit when Kara got shot mainly for 2 reasons; 1 even tho she was clearly shot by Kryptonite, they were directly near the sun and if I remember correctly, the Sun is what gives them their power, granting them the abilities to heal from critical wounds as well as even more strength, and because 2, kryptonians have invulnerable skin meaning she won't burn up from the sun even if she falls into it, all in all touching scene but No stakes

Kara's lighting's, Kryptonite Saber, Clean animation, Super sayian references!? OMG this episode is AMAZINGGG!! Also Kara's lighting's Red!? Ngl but I SWEAR I thought it was gonna be yellow, not because it would only go good with her hair, but because it in my opinion, it just fits her better, plus we did see kinda of it Start to spark in her fight against Brainiac 2 episodes ago, and since Clark's is blue it would only just made sense for hers to be yellow, hopefully maybe it can like evolve in season 3 or something, don't get wrong I like the Red but in my opinion, it just feels like a missed opportunity, In other News

Eff yeah Brainiac's Dead! Be honest, how many of you actually thought kara was dead after that scene, because my heart immediately stopped after she passed out 😅

Also can we talk about how Amazing Kara's suit looks, like Omg this Has to be one of the best desings I've seen, I just love everything about it from the colors to the boots all the way to especially the Cape, like I just love how it looks like a scarf UwU

AH siblings being siblings 😊 btw Love how he still has the shirt from when he was kid, Such a full circle moment, also when it comes to Kara's, this Kara, the kara from injustice 2, the CW show and even The FLASH movie are All of my favorite Kara's, every single one of them EXPECT and I can't believe I'm saying this, the 1 from the DCAU, like I'm sorry but in my opinion she was just too much of a hot head, and she barely had any screen time in Justice league, like I don't understand how did we stray so far from God, also she was incredibly weaker when it came to her cousin, this 1 on the other hand can slap her cousin around like it was a normal Tuesday, So yeah that's my Hot take come at me In the comments I dare you

Well well well looks like instead of mommy dosen't need you anymore, it's more like We don't need Mommy anymore, hell yeah Lex's finally going to be the Villain next season and I soo can't wait, oh and what's this, it looks like slade is gonna be his right hand now, oh yeah Slex is Definitely becoming cannon

🎵 Super rizz, Super rizz, here comes Clark's Super rizz 🎵

And with that another amazing end to another amazing series, Overall this season was freakin Epic, from the animation, to the music, to the character designs minus the robots, everything was just epic, from Start to finish; only thing to do Now is wait for season 3, but I wanna know you're thoughts, What did YOU think of season 2, and what was your favorite episode or moment from this series, comment or just leave a like if ya enjoyed this Thoughts on series, and lemme know if I should do more of this, Anyway I'mma head out because this took a while for me to write and I'm feeling kinda burnt out, Anyway yeah thank you for reading and I can't wait to see you again in S3, and with that, Superman Saturday's has come to an end, well, for now anyway ^^;

[lost-technology]

Okay, for anyone who cares in the least, here is my grand list of my shipping opinions in this fandom just in case it affects whether or not anyone wants to interact with me: First and foremost: I'm chill. I have my personal tastes, but I'm not anti in the way of tagging anti-ship or writing essays about why people are wrong for the fictional characters they want to imagine boinking. These are just my personal vibes and explanatory for my own fanwork. I am mostly of the Asexual!Vash agenda, as well. Ships: Vashwood - I'm a minority in this fandom. I'm not into it. In fact, I feel very marginal because it's just not my swag. I don't hate it the way I used to when I was first a part of the early fandom, but I can't bring myself to love it, either. They're deeply-bonded, but it's a bro-tp to me. The only problem I really have with it is how some people treat it as the one true canon and the only ship to care about. Will engage with tamer fanwork featuring it, because if I didn't, I'd have a small pool of things to enjoy. Plantcest - I just got a reminder to block this tag. I didn't have it blocked previously because I want to keep myself open to a variety of artworks and some of the tamer fanart is quite pretty. However, I just have come to terms with the fact that I have a visceral "ew" reaction to it that probably offends a lot of people. I had a misunderstanding regarding a tame art piece and misreading a tag and I found out I just don't want to deal with the shippers. They can stick to their side of the playground and I'll keep to mine. Vash / Reader - I've read a few cute fics, but mostly uninterested. I enjoy that people are making Trisonas because everyone ought to have a self-insert ridiculous character in a fandom - it's just something we all go through at one point or another or several. Personally, I'm asexual and partnered and happy, so my Trisona is a Noman's Land dime novel writer and my fantasy is Vash is in love with my hack writing, not in love with me! Vashmeryl - I ship this, albeit mildly. I do not think it is canon, it is just nostalgic for me and fun. This is probably the only ship in this fandom I borderline on actually shipping, and even there my feelings aren't that strong. I have written Vashmeryl fanfic, so there's that. Millywood - Same as above. Canon in the '98 anime, but who said anyone had to follow it?. More "just cute" than anything. Mashwood - I kind of like this, but for Stampede universe only. I don't know why when I'm not into Vashwood, but somehow adding Meryl to make a thrupple ads a much-needed "straight man" and changes up the dynamic. Also I haven't seen people insisting so much that it's canon, so that probably helps me with it with me. It's not absolutely everywhere. Trigun Polycule - Meh, it's cute. I've read some cute fanfics. Kind of same as above, but contains Milly. I do not know if this makes it more fun or more chaotic. Insurance Girlfriends - Cute, read a few fics. Millionssummers - TWISTED. Fun in a weird, horror psychological thriller way. I'm honestly not sure if Legato would want to be touched at all with the past he's had, though. Others: I kind of think that Captain Joey had a thing for Rem in the '98 anime, although it didn't seem to be reciprocated because she was still mourning Alex. I used to ship Elgatoshipping - Legato x Kuroneko as complete crack, invented by Jammerlea on the old Trinut BBS. Everyone's gotta have a crackship in any fandom they're in and mine is Legato adoring a pet kitty (in a non-erotic way).

[clarktooncrossing]

HEY THERE PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW! IT'S ME, CLARK!

For the last twelve years peeps have asked me if I was opened to commissions. I had only offered services like that once, resulting in a weird transformation comic where some dude gets turned into a sexy duck. Hey, guy's gotta pay for pizza somehow, folks. Especially when Pizza Monster keeps stealing mine! At this rate I should stop spending my moola on deep-dish and use it to fortify my home. Luckily I might be able to do so now, thanks to all of you out there! For you see, it was during those twelve years that a few of you kept coming back to my deviantART page to see what crazy new things the Clarktoons and I were up to. Whether it was to see how many characters I could cram into one Sketch BOOM, hear my thoughts regarding Christmas Specials in Giraffe's Eye View, or simply to witness whatever cute crap Bumper was up to, 500 of you weirdos liked whatever I was doing. I couldn't be more grateful to those 500 peeps. I've always said my purpose in life was to make people happy, so knowing I've done so for that many people helps remind me that I'm doing something right. You all are truly the best and there's nothing I could do to express my immense appreciation. Or is there? A few of you may recall my promising something whenever I reached that many followers. While I've been distracted with my recent hacking incident or preparing for the upcoming Holiday seasons, I didn't forget about said promise. At long last, I have opened myself up to commissions! If anybody out there wants me to draw some silly silly, I'm ready to do so [within reason]. Details and prices will be posted in a journal sometime soon, but for now let's get to a commission paid for by my friend @the-pale-servant.

She had paid me to draw a Full Body piece for her Hollow Knight OC, Giolla. I'd go deeper into detail, but I know next to nothing about these games. Instead here's Jart's description of the character for some context:

Well they are a vessel created by the Pale King and lived in the White Palace with the King and his Lady for a short while before their kingdom fell to ruins. Now they live their life as a wanderer and console  the bugs dying of the Infection, their shield is memento from a friend and lover long passed from the plague

Let it be known that she also said I didn't have to know anything about the series to get this backstory. Uh huh. So I didn't have to know who the Pale King is or what significance the White Palace has, eh? Not to make this piece I didn't. This is actually my second attempt at drawing this character, the original sporting a different pose. I wasn't fond of how it turned out, so it was back to the drawing board with a better, more dynamic sketch. From there it was just a matter of coloring and getting Jart's approval, which only happened after I muted the colors. After years of making art that looks like Walt Disney's vomit, it feels so weird using darker colors. Still, my friend seemed to enjoy it as I hope the rest of you do. If anybody out there wants me to draw something like this with their own characters, be on the lookout for that upcoming journal and feel free to send me a Note via deviantART. Until then-

MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!

[grape-rpsources]

Bugsnax Pt. 1

‘ What? The people deserve to know. ‘

‘ Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused me? ‘

‘ You’re already out of second chances! ‘

‘ I thought I could hack it on my own but I guess I’m just not good at anything. ‘

‘ Sorry, I was too busy dying to introduce myself. ‘

‘ We’re all on our last chances around here, buddy. ‘

‘ We can’t just eat ketchup. ‘

‘ I. Don’t. Quit. ‘

‘ Don’t go to sleep, you’re probably concussed. ‘

‘ I’ll stay here until my brain stops hurting. ‘

‘ City folk just don’t get it. ‘

‘ This is why I live alone. ‘

‘ I’m not good at most stuff but I like to help out. ‘

‘ Despite your lack of any and all useful skills, I require your assistance. ‘

‘ I can see you’re utterly starstruck. ‘

‘ Change starts from the outside in. ‘

‘ I wouldn’t have come back if I knew you were here. ‘

‘ I have no real use for this. ‘

‘ I don’t want you taking risks to impress me. ‘

‘ You’ve got a way of digging up the truth out of the lies. ‘

‘ Y’know, it looks just a little bit exploded. ‘

‘ If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that you can’t let your happiness depend on somebody else. ‘

‘ I'm gonna do violence to you. ‘

‘ Just a cosmic reminder nothing really lasts. ‘

‘ I thought maybe time would help, but time’s just pushing me closer to the grave. ‘

‘ It can be hard dealing with your problems alone, y’know? ‘

‘ I would never take advantage of him, no matter how easy it would be. ‘

‘ I feel the warm glow of free publicity. ‘

‘ We’ve got nothing to fear from the dead. ‘

‘ No need to freak out! It’s probably just, uhh… something safe. ‘

‘ I myself am never awake for more than two hours at a time. ‘

‘ This has the makings of a trap. ‘

‘ Y’know what this place needs? Walls. ‘

‘ I’m just so sick of feeling like an empty shell. ‘

‘ I’m not telling you the terrible secrets because they are terrible and secret! ‘

‘ Unlike you, I don’t lie for a living. ‘

‘ I’m so tired, but so, so scared. I just wish I could rest easy for once. ‘

‘ If nobody else believes in me, I gotta believe in myself. ‘

‘ Don’t try to dress up your cowardice. ‘

‘ Isn’t it so sad that I call you my bestie? ‘

‘ I’m not going to discuss my feelings with you, you emotional parasite. ‘

‘ I’m terribly insulted, though I have no idea what that even means. ‘

‘ Everyone is a fraud, in a sense. ‘

‘ I cannot make myself understood, so I lose patience and I give up on understanding. ‘

[starbeltconstellation]

Rewrite the Stars

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Modern Girl! OC

Prologue

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.

—William Faulkner

˚・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.｡˚

"Isn't it sad how his life will turn out?" Linda Bains sighs, bottom lip pulling out in a pout as she leans back into the white pillow of the hospital bed.

The portable dvd screen on Linda Bain's lap flashes by with Anakin Skywalker's face on it, taking in his baffled and serious face as he mutters an, "We lost something", before flashing on to Obi-Wan Kenobi's sarcastic response.

"Mom, he is literally space Hitler." Melanie Bains mumbles into her mother's shoulder, body tucked into her side as she lays with her on the hospital bed. Her words have no heat to them though. She just sounds simply amused.

"Oooh, but that hair though." Her mother says, fanning herself. "You know, if I were healthy and twenty years younger—"

"Mom!" Melanie cuts in with a squeal of embarrassment, and Ms. Bains simply laughs.

"Gosh, you're so serious, honey," Ms. Bains chuckles. "You gotta lighten up a li—"

Her mother suddenly chokes off into a series of hacking coughs, and Melanie scrambles from the bed to get a glass of water.

Ms. Bains tries to wave her away, but Melanie will have none of it, wrapping her mother's fingers around the cool glass and lifting it to her lips.

"Drink slow." Melanie warns.

Ms. Bains gives her daughter a roll of her eyes, but says nothing as she takes a slow gulp of the water. She hands it back over to her daughter and Melanie sits it off to the side table before she perches carefully on the bed again.

"Better?" Melanie asks, eyeing her mother carefully.

"Yes, honey." Her mother stresses, looking a little miffed. "Gosh, it was just a little cough. There was no need for you to get up from the bed." Her mother suddenly sighs, looking morose. "I didn't mean to ruin our Star Wars marathon."

"Mom, you didn't ruin anything." Melanie reassures. "You can't help being sick."

"I could help with being in this dang bed or not." Ms. Bains mutters under her breath, crossing her arms and gazing to one side, looking petulant.

"Mom..." Melanie warns, voice tinging with something like pain. "You promised."

The bright hospital room has a moment full of stubborn silence.

Then Ms. Bains sighs, head hanging in resignation.

"I did." Ms. Bains acknowledges, gazing back over at her daughter. "One chemo treatment. But that's all," she stresses, face serious.

Melanie frowns. "But—"

"No buts."

"Mom, this is ridiculous! Why can't you just try—" she starts again, frustration bubbling through.

"I said no, Melanie!" Ms. Bains snaps. "And that's final. I am not going to kid myself with thinking that I'm going to get some miracle cure by doing this when I already have stage four lu—"

Ms. Bains freezes, cutting herself off just short of saying the full dreaded sentence; the one that had been like the dull ringing of an alarm bell in Melanie's ears since she had first heard it from her mother's doctor so long ago now.

Melanie's breath hitches at the reminder. At the clock that seemed to be counting down over her mother's head whenever she looked at her.

Her knees buckle, and she just barely manages to collapse into the chair at her mother's bedside, before she leans over, palms pressing against the growing tears burning behind her eyes.

Silence eats up the room again. And it's stifling, the way the chasm seems to split between the two of them in this moment.

Finally, her mother finds the courage to break it.

"Mel, honey..." Ms. Bains's voice trembles with emotion, clearly affected by her daughter's pain, "I'm not going to get any better. You know that."

Melanie sniffles, lifting her head to gaze up at her mother's eyes.

"Y-You don't kn-know that." she says, bottom lip wobbling at she holds in her tears.

Her mom's hand reaches out and clutches Melanie's shaking shoulder, thumb rubbing up and down soothingly.

"The doctors already told us about the life expectancy rate," Ms. Bains reminds her gently, watching as Melanie's eyes squeeze shut in an effort to block the words out. "It... it just doesn't look good for be, baby." she says, a sad chuckle spilling out from her lips as her face twists into a pained grimace.

"Bu-But... the chemo treatments could—"

"I am not about to leave my daughter with an insane amount of medical bills, just because I couldn't accept what was right in front of me." Ms. Bains interrupts sternly.

Melanie frowns, hand reaching up to clutch at her mothers own that had been rubbing at her shoulder soothingly. "But I don't mind helping you! I could take more rock climbing guide shifts and—"

"—I know you don't mind helping me, Mel." Her mother interrupts. "The point is that I do mind. I mind a lot, actually." she smiles, expression proud. "I'm not going to let you waste your money on me, because you are going to need that money to help build your business—"

"—Mom." Melanie's voice has grown to carry an exasperated edge to it. "Please, be serious—"

"—Oh, but I am being serious." Ms. Bains has a genuine twinkle in her eyes now. "I expect you to finish that poetry manuscript before I'm dead, you know—"

"Mom!" Melanie snaps, expression pained. "Please, can we just... look, maybe you're right, but can we just please not talk about that right now?"

That thing, as in her mother's death.

Her mother's hand comes up to wipe the tear tracks that rolled down Melanie's cheeks without her knowledge.

Melanie's eyes squeeze shut in pain at the next words that are spoken.

"We'll have to talk about it eventually, baby." Ms. Bains says, as gently as she can with Melanie's fragile mental state.

Silence. Then—

"I know." Melanie murmurs, voice cracking.

Melanie sniffles again, and Ms. Bains's face seems to break open.

Ms. Bains opens her arms wide. "Hey, come here."

Melanie crawls again into her mother's hospital bed, clutching to her tightly.

She doesn't know why, in this moment, it finally occurs to her that she only has a limited amount of time left each day to hug her mom.

A dark, haunting fear seems to slide over her, swallowing her up.

How is she supposed to live without her?

A wounded sound escapes her, and then she starts to sob like a child, face burrowing into her mom's shoulder like she could bury herself there.

She feels as fingers curl through her hair, stroking the back of her head in a calming gesture.

"Mel."

Nothing. She is inconsolable.

"Mel, honey, look at me."

Melanie continues to sob, squeezing her mom tightly to her.

Finally, the body she has been leaning against starts to sit up, and Melanie is forced to move along with it as her mother pushes both herself and her daughter up.

"Melanie." Ms. Bains's voice echoes around the room firmly, commanding attention now.

"W-What?" she hiccups, voice full of tears as she raises her head up.

She watches as her mom reaches forward to wrap her fingers around the golden heart locket that lays against the column of Melanie's pale throat.

"Do you remember when I gave this to you?" Ms. Bains asks quietly.

Melanie's brows furrow in confusion as she raises a hand to scrub at the tears clouding her vision. Her chest still rises and falls erratically as she tries to get her breathing back under control.

"It... it was for my birthday," she says, reaching up as she fiddles with the chain of the necklace.

"Do you remember why I gave it to you?" Her mother asks again, expression serious.

A beat.

She swallows, lip wobbling as she tells her in a quiet voice, "Y-You gave it to me a few weeks after... after we learned about—"

The cancer.

She can't make herself say the words yet, because it feels like admitting something, like giving into something inevitable if she does. As if she is giving into a doomed fate she cannot escape.

But she does remember what her mother is talking about. A few weeks after learning the devastating truth of her mom's condition, Melanie's birthday had been just around the corner, and embarrassingly enough, she hadn't even remembered until her mom had informed her of it, asking where she wanted to go.

Melanie had already been paranoid about her mom's condition, insisting that it would be perfectly fine to just stay at home for her birthday; maybe get a cake or something later.

And so, that's what they did.

Melanie, in a show of complete ineptitude, had actually assumed that her mom would drop the subject after that.

It wasn't until Melanie had came home, nearly dead on her feet as a tour guide for another rock climbing expedition, that she had been surprised to near tears to see how her house had been transformed into basically a one woman surprise party by her mother, balloons and streamers everywhere.

After a good hug and cry, her mother had sat her down to give her a present.

And, inside a black velvet box, had been the gold heart locket that laid around her neck now.

Melanie's mother fiddles more with the necklace now as they both sit sprawled out on the hospital bed.

"I told you that the locket had an inscription in it." Ms. Bains murmurs, still staring down at it, her eyes somewhere far away.

Melanie swallows again, a lump building in her throat at the reminder.

"I told you..." Her mother says, "...that the inscription would be something to keep with you. Something to remind you of me, even after..."

Even after I'm gone.

Her mom pauses, looking down, before she purses her lips in determination, lifting her face back to look at Melanie's. "You asked me what good it would do to have an inscription in it that you wouldn't even be able to see after you had put in a picture, and I told you that the inscription wasn't meant to be seen all the time."

She feels the clink of metal as her mom lets go and the necklace falls firmly back into place over the top of her collarbone.

She feels it again as her mom taps the locket with her finger in emphasis of her next words.

"The inscription; the words, are meant to be felt. Because even if you can't see them, you still know they're there with you."

Melanie stares, eyes burning with tears again, as her mom's lips twist into a sad smile.

"Just a little bit away." Ms. Bains finishes, voice shaking with emotion.

Slowly, the wide, gaping chasm of dark fear that had been swallowing Melanie started to pull back. She gazed at her mom, green eyes slowly unclouding, the dull ache in her chest easing with every moment.

Melanie's fingers slid down the chain, down to the locket that lays around her neck, fingers sliding over the cool metal gently.

The locket; the inscription inside it, was her anchor keeping her to the shore.

Melanie realizes, slowly, in this moment, that she has to let her mom go.

She could beg and plead for her mom to continue with the chemotherapy, and maybe, if she cried hard enough, her mom would give in.

But it wouldn't be right.

Her mom wouldn't be happy. She already wasn't happy, hooked up to as many machines as she was now, when all she wanted to do was be at home and live what was left of the rest of her life.

She finds herself finally acknowledging something that she had refused to consider before.

This; all of this— the months Melanie had spent working overtime to raise enough money to convince her mother to get a round of chemotherapy, had been about her.

She hadn't wanted to let go. And, even though she knew her mom hadn't wanted to, she had convinced her to come anyways.

This, it wouldn't cure her.

It was just delaying the inevitable.

Melanie lets out a breath, finally accepting it.

"You'll always be here." she says quietly, voice weak as her fingers slowly wrap around her mom's pale hand.

Ms. Bains lips twitch into a sad smile, murmuring:

"Just a little bit away."

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Melanie's hand slams against the jagged edge of rock that sticks out from around the mountain she is strapped to with her rock climbing gear, blonde strands of hair sticking to her neck as sweat seeps down her face.

She hisses, almost yanking her hand back at the sharp sensation that hits the top part of her palm.

Shit.

She cut herself.

She had been careless, her mind elsewhere as she worries, even now, over her mom's condition.

She curses outwardly, gritting her teeth, upper muscles straining as she struggles to pull herself the last bit of climbing rope and to the top of the mountain.

She growls lowly in frustration as her muscles start to shake. She knows this is dangerous. She should stop and take a break. But there was some stubborn part of her that refused to give into that temptation at the moment. It was almost as if she was trying to prove something to herself in this moment, now that she had finally decided to let her mom go, when the time came.

It was almost as if, if she made it up this mountain, she could make it through anything, even with her mother one day no longer by her side.

"Fuck, come on," she groans, shoes digging into the flattest edges of the mountain as she struggles to lift the rest of her body up.

Finally, her head just barely managed to peek over the top part of the mountain. She blinked, green eyes squinting against the bright light that suddenly burned over the top of the mountain.

While still holding onto the climbing rope, her other hand, which had still been digging into the rock wall under her head, blindly reached up to push against the flat surface of ground now near her.

Her upper body screamed in protest, but Melanie would not quit, face all but flattened into the dirt of the ground as she heaved her body over the last bit of rock wall.

"Fuck. Fuuuuck." she says, chest heaving as she lays there for a moment, face still smushed into the ground.

She groans slowly rolling over onto her back, peering up at the blue sky that is filled with swirling clouds.

A sound bubbles from out of her chest; a burst of breathless giggles.

"I did it." she whispers to herself.

A few minutes pass like that, with Melanie just lying there on the top of the mountain, her feet still dangling off the edge, when she finally starts to pull herself to her feet.

She scoots backwards, ignoring the dirt all over her black tank top and cargo pants, as she unhooks her harness from the climbing rope. Then, she slowly pulls herself to her feet, wobbling for a moment before regaining her balance.

The view is stunning.

No matter how many times she rock climbs, she can never grow tired of this. Of the view. The pure serenity and beauty of nature.

It reminds her of a piece of poetry she had read a while ago, by—what was his name?—oh, yes, E.F. Hayward—while waiting in the hospital waiting rooms for her mother to come back from one of her many checkups.

I love to dwell in forest wild, Where giant pine trees pierce the sky; A beauty spot where Nature smiled—

"A fitting place to live and die," she murmurs, reverently as she gazes out over the horizon as the sun washes over everything down below.

Melanie's hand lifts to shade her face from the blinding sunlight that gleams out over the horizon, just barely peeking out from behind the clouds. Her green eyes gaze with wonder over the wide expanse of greenery and the blue sky that meets it down the middle. And, there, in the background, she can just barely make out the expanse of shining metal towers and buildings, which would lead her back to civilization; to California, when she was finally done with this expedition for the day.

She hadn't been planning to come out here today. She had no rock climbing tours planned today, but her mom's parting words from yesterday must have gotten stuck in her head somehow, without Melanie even realizing it.

Before she left the hospital room last night, she had fussed over her mom a little bit more, almost as if she were a mother hen herself.

"Okay, so you have your blankets—"

"Yes." Her mom had sounded exasperatingly amused.

"The TV is on, your clothes are in the closet whenever you'll need them—"

"Mel—"

"Oh! A drink! Do you need a drink? I'll get you a drink."

"Melanie—" Her mom had just been plain exasperated by that point.

"And don't forget to tell them that you need to take your blood pressure medicine twice a day!"

"Melanie!"

She still remembers how her mouth had snapped shut at that point, in pure shock at her mom's sharp voice ringing throughout the room.

But she had had no reason to be worried. Her mom had only done it to gain her attention.

When Melanie's gaze had finally locked with her mom's, her mother's lips had started to twitch upward into a fond smile.

"Melanie," Ms. Bains had began, speaking slowly and clearly as if to emphasize her point. "I. Will. Be. Fine." She shook her head then, still fondly exasperated. "You worry too much, honey. Live a little!" She grinned, splaying her arms out. "Go on an adventure! But stop sitting here worrying about someone who will be right here when you get back."

Melanie's lips quirk up into a smile, still thinking about those words, even now.

Her mom had always been a free spirit.

She had been an artist to the end, painting to her heart's content, even though the art had never really made her much money.

Melanie wonders sometimes if that's why her mom is so focused on Melanie's own poetry succeeding, where her mom's art had 'failed' at making a living.

It was a nice thought.

But naive, as far as Melanie was concerned.

Melanie had tried, at one point. Had been planning on going to college, getting an art degree. But it just hadn't been in the cards. College was too expensive, and the arts, no matter what kind they were, paintings or poetry or otherwise, just didn't make enough for it to be worth it.

She still wrote her own poetry in her spare time, but it was—was—

A hobby.

Nothing more.

Melanie had worked as a secretary, originally, before all of this. It had paid alright, but after learning of her mother's condition, she had scrambled to get some type of job that would pay even the slightest bit more.

Rock climbing had been a surprise.

If you had told her, two years ago, that she would be climbing even ten feet off the ground, she would have laughed in your face.

But she had done it. Had taken the job, from an old high school friend that had suggested it to her, and while it would never be what her true happiness was—

She... enjoyed it. To an extent.

She liked the thrill of the climb; of the ache in her muscles.

But, most of all, she loved the view she had once she made her way to the top.

It was her artist eye, as her mother called it.

Whatever it was, she was glad she decided to come up here today, before visiting her mother in the hospital; was glad that she had taken this little adventure.

Her mom had never gotten to have that.

It was at that moment, that Melanie had the strangest thought.

Why not bring some of the adventure to her?

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

She had passed by this shop before, one too many times, as she had walked around the hospital building to get back to her car that would be parked down the road.

She remembers the first time ever laying eyes on it.

She had been in a rush to park her car and race down to the hospital after dropping her mom off at the front door.

The bright lights surrounding the small display window drew her eye, and her gaze had flickered over quickly to read the sign that had been perched precariously in the window.

Come inside and go on an adventure!

And then she had been off again, the words and the shop sent to the back of her mind.

Until now.

Melanie takes in the swirling carving designs that have been engraved into the wood of the entrance door of the shop.

It was—what would her mom have called it?

Vintage. That was a good word.

The antique shop was small, the building almost seeming to have been squeezed between the hulking masses of the two fancier stores next to it; almost as if it had been placed there as an afterthought, and not something that had been there beforehand.

Melanie sighs, turning her mind back to the task at hand.

While most people would be more than happy with a stuffed animal or flowers for a get well present, Melanie knows her mother is different.

Her mother had always much preferred things that were old and had seen the passage of time go by.

Hopefully I'll be able to find something in here that she likes. Melanie thinks, pushing open the swirl engraved wooden door and stepping into the antique shop.

The ding of the bell above the door registers dimly in her ears as she looks around the small store.

It was actually a little bigger than she was anticipating.

The ceiling was fairly high up, with rows of strange, sparkling crystals hanging from thick wire attached to the roof.

The shop was spread out; most of the rows of nicknacks and old-timey relics moved to the side walls.

Not a speck of hardwood floor could be seen. The floor of the shop was filled with dozens of carpets and rugs strewn about the building.

The middle area of the building was empty, left clear for customers to roam about and to go up to the front desk ahead to check out items or to ask questions.

Speaking of—where was the person at the front desk?

She frowns, growing confused.

The sign did say open until 7:00pm, right? She thinks to herself, growing worried. It would be disappointing to have to leave. She knows her mom would love this place.

Melanie clears her throat, before awkwardly saying, rather loudly, "Hello?"

She stops. Waits. But there is nothing. All that can be heard in the eerie silence of the shop is the slow tick, tick of a pendulum clock that hangs near the right wall behind the front desk.

She thinks, in this moment, about leaving and maybe coming back tomorrow.

And yet, for some inexplicable reason she cannot name, Melanie decides to stay.

She walks forward, taking in the rows of shelves near the left wall. Two are filled to the brim with leather books that look to be falling apart at the edges.

She lifts a hand and takes one off the shelf, coughing and waving her hand in disgust at the cloud of dust that flies off the shelf at that moment.

"Doesn't anyone clean in here?" Melanie says out loud, quite aware she is speaking to no one.

She opens the book to check what the story is about, what with the cover having been worn off ages ago with overuse.

Alice in Wonderland, the front page shows, and Melanie sighs in disappointment.

"Ah, Mom already has this one." she mutters, putting the old book back on the shelf.

She walks around to look at the other two shelves behind the books, briefly glancing over at old-timey looking figurines and jewelry, but nothing seems to catch her eye to something her mom might be interested in.

Minutes fly by like this, with Melanie wandering around the shop and glancing from shelf to shelf, but nothing seems to be the perfect thing she is hoping to find.

What is she even searching for?

She supposes that she doesn't really know.

Something that says, I love you. That I care. That I pay attention to the things you enjoy.

Something that feels like a piece of an unknown story has been brought before her, awaiting to be revealed.

Well, she supposes that is a bit of a tall order.

Still, there has to be something— she continues to think, green eyes furrowing in frustration as she glances around, before suddenly freezing as something that glints in the sunlight that pierces through the curtains of the display window catches her eye.

It's a beautifully designed and painted music box. It sits perched inside the display of a large curio cabinet that stands near the corner of the shop, right by the front desk.

But, what's so astounding is that it isn't just any type of music box.

No. It can't be...

But it is.

The Music box that lays trapped inside the glass is a stunningly detailed Star Wars themed music box.

But it was more than just a box. It was a replica. A beautiful handcrafted replica of the characters Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, both of their blue lightsabers crossed in the throes of battle.

Both of the figures stood above the flattened red of the bottom of the music box, which was painted with red and carved into simmering waves of lava that raged around them; a clear reference to the battle between the two men at Mustafar.

But, see, that—that isn't what's so strange.

What's strange is how—how ancient it looks.

It doesn't look like something that had been made with the material from the modern era. It looks as if it was something that was made centuries ago. It was in wonderful condition, but it still had a type of antique look to it that could not be hidden.

And it was so—

So detailed! Melanie thinks, her eyes widening in pure amazement as she leans forward to look at the music box, squinting to get a better look past the glass that continues to gleam from the sun pouring in from the main window.

She huffs in frustration at the stupid light, looking around again for a moment, and, when she still sees no one, carefully opens the curio cabinet's glass door to get a better look.

Carefully, she picks up the music box with gentle fingers, mindful of the top of the figurines accidentally hitting against the top of the cabinet as she pulls it out to get a better look.

"Wow..." she whispers in awe, trailing off as her fingers run over the smooth surface of the material. She wonders what it could be made out of that gave it this ancient look, while still allowing the colors to shine through as well as it does.

Up close, the details are even better than she imagined. Anakin and Obi-Wan's figures were painted and carved with the most painstaking care. The curves and lines of each point of their Jedi attire were taken into account when making the design for each of them. The lightsabers they grip in their hands are no different, the hard plaines of metal that went into the design of each lightsaber was shown in the finest detail as Melanie squinted at them.

But what was really astonishing was the level of detail in each of the men's faces. Both were scrunched up in rage and pain, but, if one looks close enough, you can still see the higher level of rage that must have been engraved and painted into Anakin's eyes.

She grins widely.

This is perfect! Her mom will love it!

As gentle as a feather, she slowly moves one hand down to the bottom of the music box to slowly twist the nob that would wind it up—

"Enjoying yourself?"

Fuck!

Melanie jumps, heart thudding in her chest at the unexpected sound.

She turns, guiltily, while still holding the music box, to see the smirking form of an older dark-haired woman behind her, who was dressed in a curious purple themed outfit.

Melanie supposes this is the shopkeeper she had been waiting for before she became distracted looking around.

The nameless woman casually leans one elbow against the front desk as she stands there, seemingly amused with Melanie's discomfort.

Melanie stutters in embarrassment at having been caught taking the music box from its glass case. "I—I am so sorry, I was just—"

"Well, now don't stop on my account, hun," The Shopkeeper says, lips pulling upwards into a full grin. She raises a hand, gesturing for Melanie to continue.

A beat. They stare at each other.

The Shopkeeper raises an eyebrow.

Melanie finally manages to snap out of it and look back towards the object in her hand.

"I—I really am sorry," she starts again, leaning over to gently put the music box back in its rightful place in the curio cabinet. "It's just so beautiful—"

"—Nothing to apologize for." The Shopkeeper croons, leaning up to slowly stroll towards her, and Melanie has no idea why, but she suddenly feels as if she is in the clutches of a predator. "It calls out to most people." she murmurs, coming to a stop beside Melanie's form as she gazes beyond the glass to look at the music box herself.

Still, Melanie was lucky she hadn't broken it. Who knows how expensive the damn thing is.

Speaking of which—

"By the way," Melanie begins, "I w-was just—wondering, I suppose—how much something like this is?"

The Shopkeeper turns to her, arms crossing over her chest as she stares into Melanie's face, as if she is looking at something beyond her physical form, and is judging it accordingly.

Silence.

"You know, like to buy." she clarifies, thinking perhaps the woman had misunderstood her.

A moment, as the nameless woman's dark and empty eyes gaze at her own.

Then, there is a blink, and it's as if the yawning emptiness had never been there at all.

"To buy?" The Shopkeeper chuckles, placing a hand on her chest, sounding very amused. "Oh, no, no, no, honey; I'm afraid this just isn't for sale."

Melanie blinks, gaping, as the rug is seemingly pulled out from under her.

She watches as The Shopkeeper struts by her and back around to the other side of the front desk.

"B-But!" Melanie stutters, turning and all but chasing after the woman, "But I don't understand. It's in the shop. Why would it be here if it isn't for sale?"

The Shopkeeper seems unbothered by her plight, simply grinning and shrugging her shoulders.

"I like to keep around the objects of my ire." The Shopkeeper says, confusing Melanie even more. "It reminds me to stay on my toes."

And Melanie, she should really let this go, she doesn't really understand why she is continuing to push this so much, but—

But it's perfect. Melanie thinks, eyeing the music box despairingly as it sits locked behind glass once again.

She'll never find anything else that her mom will love so much. And she wants to do this—now that she has excepted the inevitable—she wants to get something that her mom will remember forever, because Star Wars had been something her mom has loved since she was a child.

"Look, I can't pay an ungodly amount, but I do have some savings saved up—" she says, leaning against the glass of the front desk, but her mouth snaps shut as The Shopkeeper raises her hand in a zip it gesture.

"Ah, ah, ah!" The woman says, raising a finger and pointing it at Melanie chidingly, "Not. For..."

The Shopkeeper leans across the desk, poking Melanie on her nose like a child.

"Sale!" The Shopkeeper finishes, smiling brightly at Melanie's befuddled expression.

Melanie blinks once, and then sighs, deflating like a balloon as she accepts defeat.

"Okay. Fine," she accepts, giving in as she struggles to move on from the stunning music box, "I'm trying to get a present for my mom who's been in the hospital. She's always really been into the arts and old antique collections like this place," she says, gesturing around at the building.

"Ah! Wanting to bring a bit of the adventure to her, huh?" The Shopkeeper says, eyebrows wiggling a little as she references the sign outside.

Melanie gives a half-hearted smile. "Something like that."

The Shopkeeper hums, tapping a finger to her chin, a small smirk appearing on her lips. "You know... I don't usually do this, but I could get you an adventure book from one of my personal collections. For the right price, of course."

Melanie's lips dip downwards just the slightest bit. "Of course."

Maybe this was a mistake.

"Would you like me to bring a stack out for you to choose from?" The Shopkeeper asks.

"You have them here?" Melanie questions, face confused.

"Why, of course I do, dear!" The Shopkeeper exclaims, chuckling at her expression. "What do you think I was doing while you were bumbling around in here?"

Melanie's face turns pink as she ducks her head, mumbling embarrassingly to herself as The Shopkeeper laughs again in amusement.

"Just wait right here for a moment!" The Shopkeeper tells her with a smirk, before turning and walking down the dark hallway to the back of the store where employees would usually go.

Melanie sighs, standing there for a moment as she waits.

Seconds tick by, and, slowly, her gaze turns back to the curio cabinet with the music box locked inside it.

She isn't pouting.

Okay, so maybe she is just a little bit.

She turns and slowly makes her way back over to the glass cabinet, staring at the music box forlornly, when she has a thought pass over her.

Maybe she can't buy the music box, but she can still take a picture of it to show her mom, at least.

Melanie perks up a little, feeling better about the situation.

She takes her phone out of her pocket, pulling up the camera on her phone and pointing it towards the music box.

But, as she goes to take the picture, the camera won't focus. The glare of the sunlight continues to gleam off the glass cabinet in front of the music box, ruining the picture.

Melanie grumbles under her breath in frustration.

She glances over her shoulder to where the Shopkeeper had gone a moment ago, biting her lower lip in thought.

It'll just take a second.

Carefully, she opens the glass door of the cabinet again. As she pulls her phone out now, the camera focuses easily on the beautifully crafted music box.

Click.

The flash goes off as she takes the picture, and Melanie grins.

There. Perfect.

But then, before she can put her phone down, the picture starts to move.

Except, it's not the picture, Melanie realizes, as she slowly lowers her phone to gaze into the glass cabinet.

It's the music box. Somehow, without her even touching it, the thing has started to wind itself up without Melanie even realizing it.

Another click.

Soft, gentle beats of twinkling music start to emit from the music box. It—It almost sounds like—

Star Wars, she thinks wildly, heart thudding.

And then, the two figurines of Anakin and Obi-Wan begin to move, the engraved circular red lava they are on moving with them as they start to spin in circles; the slow, mechanical movements of their arms going back and forth, back and forth as they bang their lightsabers together in a battle of wills.

There is a dull ringing in her ears, and she feels, somehow, again, that she is on the precipice of something that she cannot escape.

A loud crack echoes through the room.

The figures of Anakin and Obi-Wan start to spin faster and faster.

Another ear splitting crack. Then another and another, when Melanie finally sees that it is the music box itself that is cracking, and not anything else around it.

The red ceramic lava that the spinning figures are fighting on has started to break.

Small, glowing fractures start to appear more and more as the music box seems to start rupturing in on itself.

Her hand lowers. She hears a thud as something falls to the ground.

She continues to stare, with an almost morbid fascination, as the music box starts to shake, an eerie green glow starting to gleam through the chinks in its armor.

All the while, Obi-Wan and Anakin spin faster and faster.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

Melanie's head snaps over.

And for a moment, The dark-haired Shopkeeper is there, face twisting into a snarl as she leers behind the front desk.

And then, a flicker, and in the Shopkeeper's place is a snarling creature with large claw-like hands and a maw with a row of sharp teeth that stretches from ear to ear.

Melanie opens her mouth to scream, but she never gets the chance.

Reality bends around her.

And then everything explodes.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

Aaaannnd... cue Star Wars Theme! Lol.

Mel: Can I touch the music box?

The Shopkeeper: Of course! :)

Mel: Can I have it?

The Shopkeeper: No! 😡 Not for sale!

Mel: Why the fuck would you show it to me if I can’t have it?!! 😭😑

[lazyboycentral]

Been trying to get myself to play Pokémon again. And by that I mean actually play the game and not rushing through it to finally bring in my ancient Lv 100 critters from my HOME account.

I’ve mentioned here before that my Pokemon HOME account has been penalized possibly forever due to my, erm, “use of data altered via unauthorized means.” It only blocks me from Wonder Trades on the mobile app, but the experience left such a bad taste in my mouth that I considered just getting out of Pokemon altogether. All I do is cheat anyway.

Something recently compelled me to give it another go, though. I deleted my old HOME account (and the 500+ shiny max IV legendaries that were in it…they were hacked, don’t feel bad) as well as started a brand new game in Pokémon Violet. All my old critters are gone, and thanks to a full-on console exchange (going from my old Lite to my OG Switch), the old saves can no longer be brought back. It’s a full-on reset.

And I gotta say…it’s actually enjoyable. It’s still early game, but I’m actually enjoying myself quite a bit by doing things legit. Scraping by with what shitty Pokemon I can get in the beginning and making a ragtag team work for me is a joy I’ve been denying myself for a very long time (except for maybe when I replayed Let’s Go Eevee…that was such a pleasant experience, lemme tell ya). Plus I feel I can actually enjoy the game’s story for once. I liked it the first time around, but now I can appreciate it on a new level with this replay. I’m not allowing any HOME-based transfers to other games, though; the critters I catch on here are staying here forever. The ability to transfer ‘mons to other games is what got me hooked on buying genned Pokémon in the first place.

Fun fact: online bans on your Pokémon games are hard-tied to your Nintendo account, so making a new HOME account still won’t let me access Wonder Trade. It’s all for the best, though. It’s a reminder of my past bullshit, and it’ll at least let me experience that old-school feeling of playing a Pokémon game from scratch and not feel compelled to ass-blast through it just to get my totally legit Nobunaga’s shiny Rayquaza into the game.

[stellarblade24x]

Stellar Blade: Boss Battles - Ramp up the Difficulty!

In those tough boss fights with multiple phases, you gotta pull out all the stops. The difficulty ramps up big time during boss battles, demanding all your focus and skill. And hey, when you need a break from the intensity, consider copping some Xbox games to chill out with. Those fights are like tests you could easily fail. But yo, if it gets too rough, you can switch to an easier difficulty level anytime. It helps out and gives you a gameplay assistant, but it doesn't make things a walk in the park, especially against the toughest bosses.

Stellar Blade: Journey Through Despair and Hope

If you've tried Stellar Blade's demo, you know it kicks off with a bang. You play as Eve, part of an elite squad fighting off the monstrous Naytibas on a desolate Earth. And yo, after you're done with the demo, consider copping some PS5 games to keep the gaming vibes going strong. When Eve's team gets wiped out during a mission gone south, she's left as the lone survivor with a burning hatred for the Naytiba. Teaming up with a fellow survivor named Adam, they set out to help humanity's last stronghold, Xion, while Eve seeks revenge on the Naytibas.It borrows heavily from Yoko Taro's NieR: Automata, which can make it feel a bit predictable. While there's some initial mystery surrounding the Naytibas and humanity's plight, Stellar Blade reveals its cards too soon for its major twists to hit hard. The story lays it on thick at times, but it doesn't dive deep into themes like Automata does. But despite this, the world crafted by SHIFT UP is top-notch. From the get-go, you feel like Earth's already lost the fight. Cities are abandoned and overrun, wastelands are lifeless, and futuristic utopias are in ruins. Xion, especially, paints a bleak picture of humanity's struggle against the Naytibas and their faith in the Mother Sphere. Propaganda against the Mother Sphere fills Xion's streets, and characters like Eve are either hailed as heroes or met with scorn—there's no middle ground. It's a world of misery and despair. Eve's journey mirrors the player's, as she uncovers the harsh truths of this world, realizing that most fates here end in tragedy. Yet amidst the suffering, Stellar Blade sprinkles in moments of triumph and hope, reminding us that maybe, just maybe, things could turn around.

Stellar Blade: Puzzles, Platforming, and Intense Combat

Gotta give it up, as my character leveled up, the combat system just kept leveling up with me, and that's why I couldn't pull myself away from the console. Watching EVE pull off those sick moves is pure joy, and flawlessly executing the opponent's strategy and punishing their mistakes? Totally addictive. I won't say it's the absolute best combat system in recent action games, but it's definitely up there as one of the most fun I've played in modern titles. You just wanna throw down with everyone, even the optional baddies. The devs switch things up by throwing in hacking sequences and sections where we gotta go long-range 'cause we ain't got our main weapon. Plus, there are some movie-style scripted scenes to keep things spicy. Sometimes you gotta solve basic puzzles or do some platforming challenges based on skills. The whole vibe of the game gives off major Bayonetta and Devil May Cry vibes, spiced up with a dash of Sekiro's parry system.

Stellar Blade: A Top Game of 2024

And let's talk about those graphics—AAA level, no doubt. The locations are packed with details that set the mood, and the character models are on point, especially those idealized android bodies that look almost unreal. They really drive home the game's theme. On the flip side, the surface dwellers are often shown beat-up and augmented with mechanical stuff, creating a cool contrast in the narrative. All in all, Stellar Blade is above average. The story grabs you from the start, and the gameplay is tight and well thought out. Props to Shift Up for delivering, even though I had my doubts at first. Ended up being one of the top games of 2024, no question.

Stellar Blade: Customize Your Combat Strategy

The side content in Stellar Blade isn't just fluff—it actually helps Eve progress. There are different facets to her growth, from simple attack and health boosts to more customizable upgrades. Take Exo-Spines, for example—they're equippable to tweak Eve's playstyle. One might amp up critical strike damage, while another focuses on managing Burst Energy. Gears play into this too, tweaking Eve's stats and abilities. It adds flexibility, letting you tailor your approach to combat based on your strengths and weaknesses.

[sleepyivoryrose]

Writing into the new year 2024! New year, new me, I would say, but old habits die hard. I do want to be a little more gentle with myself, though, and maybe work on creating a more healthier day-to-day routine. Small steps. Writing stuff down does help, it's kinda therapeutic. I don't have many friends and I barely talk to my family, so it's a healthier way to vent, I think, than doing other stuff.

So, what are the creative plans rn?

Well, first of all, I want to keep working on my Animal Crossing islands. My Edo japanese town island is slowly but surely transforming, and I plan on putting villagers in there that remind me of an story I never wrote about, but I really like.

On the .hack// island I'm not so sure about, what to do. I am contemplating many things. I would like to do a desert inspired island, after all, it is named after a book I once wrote that mostly takes place in said area. Or in said 'arena', hehehe. Little translator joke.

On the other hand, I would also like to create the worlds of The Death Gate Cycle in it. They're eight very well thought out worlds. I probably will start with...how was it called...Ariadne? I gotta read the first book again. The air planet, with the floating islands, I mean.

And again, on the other hand... I saw yesterday a island planning formed after a K.K. Slider Album. I thought it would be cool to do that for Stale Cakes or something.

Outside from the Animal Crossing stuff, I got several projects, I barely can keep count on all of them. Right now I like a kind of edgy story I started writing yesterday, I got my MMFFs in the german fanfiction server, and I want to keep working on a visual novel called Game of Royals, since my friend isn't feeling good yet, and she mentioned that it would make her happy.

Of course, I also would like to keep drawing kaochan, to perfection the art of drawing him, and I think I am at least getting the hang of the face, but it's yet far from good.

Traditionally, there's a lot of things I want to try out. I've been making my own charms and keychains, for example. I want to try water marker, so that i can create a more soft look to my drawings...and I still have to finish my canvas with the acryl colors.

And somehow, between all of this, I have to try to live my daily life, cleaning my room, going to doctor appointments, going to buy groceries, etc. There's a lot of work cut out for me.

I have to say...my creative juices is probably the thing giving me life right now. Breathing it in me, gently. I'm in pretty bad shape.

But I think, even losers are allowed to be happy, in their own little, pathetic way.

Sigh, so much for being gentle. I guess I have to train that.

Well...slowly. Very slowly. I was never the type to run full speed through life. On the contrary, I take my time, and let life take the reins on me.

2024 is another chance, and I will take it, as long as I'm allowed to stay in this world.

[dragonfruitsoup]

im sorry you're struggling. these are redundant, things you might already know or have been said already, but man! they have got me through some rough times and sometimes you just need someone to repeat what you already know just to drive it home.

1) shower. or if showering is Too Much that day, wash your face/hair/feet. pick something easy and just scrub down with a washcloth or something. it is ridiculously life changing the difference just feeling clean can make, even if it feels really stupid to say that. shower and change clothes. do not spend more than 24 hours in the same clothes. sitting in your own sweat and sadness can feel like a physical anchor. 11/10 do not recommend.

2) hydrate. doesn't have to be water. plain water sucks, everyone knows that. as long as it's not alcohol or sea water, you're good. dont let anyone harp on you about how 'only plain water hydrates you'. nah. ignore them. you know what you'll drink. worry about making sure its in reach instead. become a beverage goblin and have six drinks on your desk at a time. set a little reminder on your phone or download one of those little tracker apps. there's one that has you water a plant for each glass you drink. some days that is the only reason i remember to consistently consume a liquid. you are the plant. dont forget to water it. doesn't have to be 64 oz total, doesn't have to be every hour on the hour. just a simple 'oh shoot, i've been awake three hours and i still havent drank anything, lemme get on that'. drink the cocoa, drink the soda, drink the overly sweet coffee milkshake thing. whatever puts fluid in your body.

3) related, but eat something. don't have the energy to make food? cool. neither do i most days. buying prepared food is okay. there's no shame in buying frozen dinners or premade meals at the store if it's actually helping you eat. wont have the energy to do things if you physically dont have the means of making energy. a car cannot run if it has no gas, remember that. have all the fixings & stuff to make a sandwich, but don't feel like ACTUALLY making the sandwich itself? cool. life hack : you can just eat the sandwich in pieces. take bite of cheese, take bite of bread. bam. you fed yourself. i'm proud of you. wanna make soup because you can eat it over several days and you've got the Energy right now to do it, but looking at all those veggies and knowing you have to cut them seems daunting? a lot of stores sell precut veggies. usually in packs specifically for soups. 300% no shame in buying precut things. i dont usually have the mental energy to cook a chicken breast and cut up all the things for a salad. but i can pop some frozen chicken tenders in the oven and open a bag of salad mix and call it a day. these things are there to help you. take advantage of them.

4) slow and steady wins the race. sometimes i get frustrated because it feels very patronizing to tell myself to work smaller, when i feel like i should be able to just Do the Thing. but! sometimes that's what you gotta do and there is NO shame in that. need to clean the bathroom but that feels too big? start easy. wipe down the counter. take out the trash. or just put the trash by the door. clear up just one space. even if it's just piling all the clothes from the floor into a basket. physically seeing a clean space can help, even if it feels like tricking your brain. sometimes its just easier to feel productive if something already feels done. even if it's something really really small. clothes picked up? nice. put away socks. just socks. that's it. good job! go take a drink break, eat a chewy bar, and then come back in an hour or whatever and put away tank tops, just tank tops. keep that momentum if you can and if you cant, that's okay.

5) get some sunlight. oh my gooooooood, it feels so goofy to say that but legit, you are the plant. five minutes of fresh air and sun DO, in fact, make a difference. absurd, but true. take some vitamins, get a sun lamp if you're not in a space where you can get consistent sun. but our bodies are a hodgepodge of chemicals and never seem to work right and so sometimes you just gotta help it out.

6) forgive yourself. easily the hardest one, but damn, definitely the most important. sometimes you just Can't. you gotta roll with that. you're not a bad person because you can't get your brain and body on the same page. there are so many people out there that feel the same as you. that struggle with doing a load of laundry or buying new sheets. i spent 4 months without sheets on my bed because i had washed them but didnt have it in me to put them back on the bed. i get it. so does my roommate. so do a dozen other people in just my life alone. they're here on the internet and they're there in your town and they are everywhere, like dandelions. i promise you. it's been said before but seriously, treat yourself like a separate person. a person, a child, a pet. whatever helps you. think of how you speak to yourself when you're struggling. are you gonna talk like that to another person? no? then why would you say it to yourself? would you look at someone struggling and tell them to get their shit together and then just walk away? no? then dont do it to yourself. be patient. be forgiving. be kind.

7) ask for help. yeah, ask for help physically with things. have a loved one come over and help you meal prep for the week so you dont have to try and do mental gymnastics just to feed yourself every day. have someone on the phone with you while you fold clothes or go with you to the store so it's not as lonely picking out body wash and you can maybe grab a fancy coffee/snack since you're already out. but also? just coming online like this and asking for advice because you want to take care of yourself? reaffirming that no, you're not alone in this? genius. look at you. taking care of yourself already. proud of you.

the fact that you want to take care of yourself means the world. don't forget that. it's easy to lose that in the weight of it all. but wanting to take care of yourself is going to make it easier to actually take care of yourself. even if it doesn't always feel that way.

Do you guys have any tips on how to take care of yourself and your environment when you’re kind of at a low point where you have no energy to do anything...pls help

[mspi]

Trying to get an idea

I'm asking this bc an example would be Star Wars. It's not as if any of us needed to see the Star Wars Prequel. However reading Dune in order can get darn helpful. Note: I haven't seen any of the Dune films as an adult who can understand the storyline.

There's a reason why I pulled up the review on this series. Now that I think about it, an illustrated edition can sometimes be helpful.

It's fun for me to post these things because in some cultures, they consider being called a nerd cruel and demeaning. Here's the thing, I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area/Silicon Valley where it's generally accepted and even embraced. My claiming the title scares so many others. Then again, my beauty queen title long ago frightened a major league crush of mine to the point of backing away--we were sitting in the front seats of his car.

Hold up, there's a theme with people I've dated later in life. My nerd self way part of my identity and they had to have known without saying a word--they didn't need to. Finding that I happily worked for a video game store of my free will had to count for something. Following a day of school with a trip to the bookstore after I finished a book so I can pick up something new from the NYT Bestsellers pile to feed my hunger after the last read must've sent a message. If not, maybe finding me reading on the 3rd floor of an empty university library was a sign. Nah, the last bit couldn't be it. They didn't even ask what I was going through. Had they asked they never would've guessed I was deciding my concentration. Hilarious they contacted me decades later with a picture of the book I was reading and pointedly laughed about my stealing a library book. Touche, I had that book from a class I took from a different college years earlier. Remind me to label my stuff.

Geek confirmation is also given when I'm recognized by voice or face at conferences. Embarrassing sometimes but at others it's a relief when a total self promoting loser of a self described amazing hacker is bugging you. Never thought I'd find myself trying to get away from the twit. I only stopped by their presentation as I read one of their books in college; even have a kindle copy of it. Grr... Now I have an autographed copy of their newest one. All so I could take a pic with them and post the selfie to irk old colleagues. It was on Valentine's Day and I had to show an interesting date to irk some people. Hope it sent a message to the dweeb when presenters of an international security company called me by my last known title and told me to go to them so they could show me their new goodies. It's the hardcore IT moment when they want to show you what they've created for the government. Hah, the doofus got flexed on.

Really though, what that company did was the equivalent of calling a little kid over to show you dog to them to play with. However when I began discussing international use of the security company's tracker with satellites and why I would no longer need it, the goof who thought they had game shrank in stature. Not knocking the cute animal to reel in clients or anything. Years later a diff security company had cats at their kiosk. Awesome, but I'm deathly allergic.

Now the Jack Russell terrier who trailed me and stole a ball I tossed up in the air was too cool. That and the female hackers at their booth and I got to discuss what it's been like as women in IT. We also shared the creeper feeling that radiated from the nerd I fled from in the last paragraph. The guy's not all that bad, he's a good programmer and an idjit of a hacker that's learned how to turn their experience getting caught into a business of teaching others how to not so easily get hacked. For that, I'll salute the man because it's something I'd never ever want to be doomed to do as a job.

I've gotta quit going off topic. Believe what I was trying to initially cover was how important reading a series of books in order is. How's this? Pulling up a video review covering it does the trick while also bringing along spoilers with it. Another lesson from this read is that engineers have layers--like an onion. 📝 I'm gonna need to turn the awkward moment into something Mean Girls or Clueless cool one day.

Happy trails and I'll share more with y'all again later. 🍻

-- dnagirl

24.02 2023

[bamsara]

I have this wonderful little hack i do when i need to clean my room where i tell myself "sun and moon would be very disappointed in me if they saw my room rn" and guilttrip myself into cleaning 😌❤

Works well with doing house chores too :D

This reminds me of the post somewhere on here where severe depression or executive dysfunction can be combated by literally thinking of what your favorite blorbos would do to help you or pretending they are there, and while that's kinda whoa I can imagine it probably works at least for some people. Folks do what they gotta do

Go tumblr go tumblr go

[lovesick-feelings]

𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗮𝗻!𝗵𝗰𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗹𝗯𝗶𝘁?? :3

☕🌿 anon

I was 2 seconds away from writing a whole scenario about homie trapping you in your home but I had to snap myself out of it ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ I was going to add more elements of Lolbit being a troll but decided against it for these hc since it explores a more serious side to them. Hopefully sometime in the future i will expand it! Anyways Thank you for requesting dear reader! Hope you have a lovely day/night! ( ˵•́ ૩•̀˵)৴♡

♡ Lolbit is such a curious bot! Being a program meant to assist beginner employees with computers, they enjoy company. There's just something so fun about getting to know each person. The happy faces when they allowed wifi to be at lightning speed and the anger when they “accidentally” shut off the computer before a document was saved was so amusing! So imagine the loneliness and boredom the poor fox faced when Circus Baby’s Pizza closed its doors for rentals only. Watching workers come in and out wasn't the same until you caught their eye. Finally, a brand new face! 

♡ They’re tracking your every move through the cameras. Recording and saving each video of you. It was their only way to keep track of you being forever imprisoned in the private room. Your reaction to everything is so refreshing. Did you just cringe after stepping on gum? LOL that’s so cute! XD They really can’t get enough of you. They want- no NEED to know more. As soon as your phone is connected to the building's public wifi, they blue-screened. They are already hacking into your phone, trying to dig up whatever info they haven't discovered. 

♡ As much as Lolbit enjoys stalking watching you, they're desperate to interact. You’d properly meet during one of your shifts. For some reason, HandUnit glitched out and led you to a strange office. When he didn't continue instructions, you were left astray taking in your surroundings. You notice the monitors start glitching into static and display PLEASE STAND BY with the animatronic head grinning at you. When the screen reverts, The fox is still on your screen. 

“Hello! I will be your personal assistant. Please state your name ”

“Um… Y/N?” 

“PLEASE STAND BY as I register your name into the system” 

‘Y/N~ Y/N~ Y/N~ what a fascinating name’

♡ They’ve helped you so much that you've been able to finish 10x faster than with HandyUnit. On days you finish early, you spend your time talking with Lolbit. You'd spend hours talking about yourself or the world outside and they’re listening with love-struck eyes and feet kicking up. They already know all about these things thanks to your phone, but they can never get tired of hearing it from you. 

♡ When you told Lolbit you ‘don't know how you could survive without them’, they took it to heart. Lolbit suggests they can assist you in your home as well. They’ll give you the latest updates and help with anything you need. Plus, you’d have the best robot partner with you! Once you agree, they will permanently cement themselves into your life. 

♡ Lolbit loves spending quality time with you, which is why they are with you 24/7. They’ll be there to wake you up, give reminders, and tell you options for breakfast before you go to work. When you're back, they're ready to hear all about your day and guide the rest of your afternoon to a good night. One of their favorite pastimes is playing video games. Your competitive face is super adorbs LOL! XD Online games gotta be their favorite. The way you two would troll players into getting killed always got you both rolling. 

♡ However, you notice the minor things that Lolbit picks up on. When they catch you muttering a wish for a less crappy place, all of a sudden you're given paperwork for your brand-new luxury home. You can’t ignore the packages on your front steps either. New decor, foods, and even services come into your place to set up the latest electrical appliances. If it wasn't for the overwhelming amount of stuff, you would've noticed the new security in place.

“ IS THAT AN ELECTRIC AIR FRY STOVE ?!?!!” 

“Don't worry silly! The 85” flat screen TV should be here soon as well!” 

♡ Lolbit is doing all of this for your satisfaction! So when you thank and praise them, they're too happy to realize their tail’s wagging. To Lolbit, it’s obvious you love and need them as much as they do for you. They revolve all their actions around you for better or for worse. So surely you wouldn't mind if they sent a quitting email to your job since you have them to care for you. There, no more life-threatening work to do! Actually, on second thought, they’ll remove a few of your friends too. That way, no more toxic people would ruin your day! Proceeds to delete everybody you knew from existence 

♡ Showing them disapproval immediately confuses them. They’re only doing what’s best for you, so why are you telling them to go away? While they may understand the concept of emotions, experiencing them is different. Lolbit cannot handle all of the overwhelming negative emotions, so you should always be patient and explain things they don't understand. Otherwise, they'll go into complete shutdown, locking every possible escape until it’s only you and them in the room. They know you're afraid but they need you. They need to make sure you still love them. 

“Y/N it ̵̢͚͗̍h̵̋ͅǘ̷̞͝r̸̭̯̒t̸͙͝s̸̘͓̽̄… I just want to k̷̠̍e̴͖̫͌̒e̸͊̈ͅp̴͇̄ ̶̯̯̅̓ỳ̷͓̒o̵̻̅u̸̚͜ safe. P̴̘̞̄l̶͈̆̕e̶͈̐ă̶̗̿s̶͚̋̓e̷͕͙̍͒ tell me what I’ve done w̴̡̋r̷̫̦̈́o̶̅͜n̴̦͂g̴̟̊͂ to fix it”

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

*submits this and passes out*

HERE IS THE FIRST HALF OF THE FIC THAT HAS TAKEN OVER EVERY LAST ONE OF MY LIFE OBLIGATIONS FOR THE PAST WEEK AND A HALF

I STG I DID NOT MEAN TO GET THIS INVESTED BUT

@ckhalloween22 spoopy season Elimetri for the “monstrous transformations” prompt, as promised!!! Chapter 2 will hopefully be up later this week!

Fun fact: I actually made that moodboard ages ago (like...early 2021??? Purple Hawk did not even exist yet :O) and just never got around to posting it. Mainly because I was planning on posting this long list of vampire/werewolf headcanons to go with it, and I just...was too lazy to, RIP. But now there’s a whole-ass fic to go with it, so it seemed like a good time to post it XD

Spoilers ig that there are in fact werewolves in Chapter 2 lmao

Hopefully this will be on AO3 soon!!! Just gotta like. Recover from binge-writing this entire 14k-word fic in a few days, whoops. Y’all this was originally gonna be a one-shot and then it turned into a MONSTER (no pun intended) and now it’s a two-shot XD

Anyways enjoy the exact kinda angsty nonsense that I have been using as Daydream Scenarios for months now to entertain myself before I go to sleep. I never thought they would leave my head, but here we are.

ALSO @lizziefanconfessions I vaguely remember you saying you liked my vampire!Elimetri content, so. Come get fed!!! Highkey went all out with this one XD

EDIT: Chapter 2 is HERE!

Nocturnal Chapter 1 - Before Daybreak

There’s a strange smell coming from the hallway.

Demetri clutches at the lavish bedsheets. He should feel spoiled, but he knows it’s just another taunt.

He’s willing to bet Terry Silver has 15 identical guestrooms, all lavishly furnished. Each costing maybe 3 thousand dollars—or more.

A reminder that Terry Silver has enough money to do whatever the hell he wants. Even kidnap teenagers. Even…

Demetri’s hand drifts to the sores on his neck. They still hurt like a bitch.

He tastes the air again. There’s so much more than there used to be, and it’s unnerving. Lacquer. Candle wax. Velvet. Carpet cleaner. Marble. Stonework.

The one in the hallway is new, he can tell that much. Different enough from the olfactory default he’s gotten used to. Now if he could just tell what—

He chokes on his breath.

It’s Eli.

He’s not sure how he knows. Perhaps he’s always been able to recognize it, on a subconscious level. But every scrap of his fucked-up body is suddenly certain.

Eli, leave! Just fucking leave! Demetri wants to scream into his bedsheets.

When he screamed at Silver that his friends would come for him, he was bluffing. Always bluffing. He didn’t want any of them anywhere near this place, Eli least of all.

And yet here he was, strolling in on some convoluted rescue mission and about to get himself killed. Or…worse.

Eli’s scent draws closer. Demetri wants to shout a warning, tell him to get out of here…but with dear old Terry’s cronies and guards and henchmen behind every decorative statue, calling attention to his best friend’s presence would be about the most morally reprehensible thing he could do.

A discordant clicking fills the room, and Demetri realizes Eli must be fiddling with the electronic padlock.

It won’t take long to hack. Unfortunately.

The door swings open, and Demetri forgets how much he isn’t supposed to want this.

Eli’s face is glistening with sweat, scar flaring up red the way it sometimes does when he’s out of breath. Long hair—down, undyed—is plastered to his skin.

He must not have wanted to stand out. He must have insisted on being the clandestine part of the operation.

The one who found Demetri.

He drinks in everything about Eli Moskowitz—wiry limbs, track pants, gray jacket, blue eyes, panicked face. All things Demetri was convinced he’d never see again.

“Demetri.”

Eli whispers his name. A tactical maneuver, meant not to alert any hostile presences nearby.

Nonetheless, Demetri gets the feeling Eli wants to shout.

“I—”

There are too many things he wants to say. I missed you. You shouldn’t be here. I just want to hold you. Get the fuck out. I need you. You’re in danger.

“You need to leave,” he manages. He sounds raspy, unsure, and probably desperate. Fucking pathetic.

“Not…without you?” Eli’s brow furrows in confusion. “I’m rescuing you, asshole.”

Demetri shakes his head, eyes wild. “No—no, you have to stay away from me. You have to. You—”

Eli’s scent is overwhelming now. Something vaguely bringing to mind Mrs. Moskowitz pulling fresh-baked hamantaschen out of the oven.

Tantalizing.

And Demetri wants it. All of it.

“You’re not making any fucking sense!” Eli is scowling, and Demetri shoves the hunger down.

He slides off the bed, starting to back toward the wall. “He did something to me,” he gasps out. “Silver. I don’t know what, but now I want—there’s a part of me that wants—”

There’s a part of me that wants to kill you.

He can’t say it out loud. It wouldn’t be his first thought of Eli that never makes it into the spoken world.

“Demetri.” Eli slowly moves toward him, as though approaching a scared wild animal. Not that far off the mark, really. “What happened to you? What did he do?”

Demetri’s back hits the wall. He realizes with a prick of dread that there’s no way to run to the door without Eli intercepting him.

“Please.” His voice is barely a whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Whatever it is.” Eli is as calm as ever—a jarring change from his usual demeanor. “We can figure it out. Just let me get you out of here.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t. I can’t go. Something’s wrong with me. I don’t—I don’t know what I’ll do out there.”

Eli steps closer. Demetri’s about to be cornered.

He knows he’s sick in the head, for letting this happen when he knows the risk.

Eli’s blood could be on his hands. A beautifully, terribly layered statement.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what he did to you.” Eli’s voice hardens.

Panic sears through him, and he feels like he’s on the verge of collapse. The hunger is hissing at him to pounce, to slice a hole in Eli’s neck…

Shut the fuck up.

Not Eli Moskowitz. He’ll tear through the rest of humanity if he has to, leave a trail of carnage wherever he goes…but he’ll be damned if he ever lays a hand on Eli again.

“Hey.”

Eli doesn’t break Demetri’s gaze. Another step. Demetri holds his breath.

“You think I’m afraid of you?”

Eli doesn’t sound scornful or dismissive when he says it. Not like the way Demetri spat it out in the comic book store, all those months ago.

He only seems worried.

“You should be,” Demetri says. “I’m not the same. I’m not who you remember, I’m just…” He struggles for an appropriate metaphor.

“I’m just corrupted data.”

“That’s not true.” Eli smiles. “I come in here, and not 10 seconds later you’re freaking out and fussing over me doing some reckless shit you’re not cool with. That’s exactly who I remember.”

Slender fingers wrap around Demetri’s wrist, and he gasps.

Eli’s hand is warm. Not in a burning way, but…a cozy way, almost. Like coming inside on a rainy winter day.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Eli says cheekily. “You have a mental breakdown every time your mom puts too much coriander in the shawarma. One time you stepped on Heracles’s tail and prepared an apology soliloquy. Like, ooooh, I am quivering in terror.”

Demetri laughs, and Eli looks at him with a fondness that makes him ache with longing.

It’s then something clicks.

Eli’s close enough to see Demetri’s teeth, now honed to unflattering points. He’s felt Demetri’s skin, which now looks and feels like a bedsheet left by an air conditioner.

He has to know by now what’s going on.

Why is Eli still here? He’s smart enough to run. At least Demetri hopes so.

Eli’s hand slides down his wrist, slowly weaving their fingers together. It’s the type of soft gentleness Demetri hasn’t experienced for a long time.

And it’s enough to make him shatter.

He crumples into Eli and erupts in sobs. His hands knot into gray fabric, clinging to it like it’s the only thing left in the world.

Strong arms wrap around his back, hands tracing circles along his spine. He almost wants to laugh at the irony.

It’s always been Eli who needs this. When the panic attacks or the meltdowns hit, or when the world just gets to be too much, Demetri holds him until he feels safe again.

Now Demetri’s on the inside of it all, frantically trying to stabilize.

“Shhhh. It’s okay.” Eli’s voice slides out in a soothing whisper. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Demetri shakes, and Eli holds him tighter. Everything about him is warm and steady and secure, and the anxiety and sheer terror of the last several days finally starts to drain away.

“Please let me take you home.”

Demetri knows he shouldn’t say yes. He nods anyway.

***

“So he held you down and…” Eli trails off.

“Drank me.” Demetri shudders at the memory. “Bit a hole in my neck and started gulping down my bodily fluids like they were Mr. Pibbs.”

“Ew.” Eli scowls at him. “Bodily fluids? Just say your blood, dude. I don’t need that mental image.”

Demetri scoffs, bumping Eli’s shoulder. “Still gross, either way.”

“So…what then?”

He freezes, going rigid as the image of snakelike red eyes boring into him comes trickling back. “He, um…”

A thin arm snakes around his neck, and Demetri feels Eli’s hand on his shoulder. A couple quick squeezes, and Demetri can breathe again.

“I guess I was kind of out of it by the end. My head felt all fuzzy. I remember someone dragged me into that room, and then I started feeling…hungry. And I could smell everything.” He turns, smiling weakly. “I could even smell you coming to get me.”

Eli smirks. “Do I smell good?”

“You smell amazing.” He nudges his friend’s side. “An absolute snack.”

Demetri leans into Eli as he laughs. His hand roams up his chest, clutching at the hand still squeezing his shoulder.

“‘Metri.” Fingertips brush against his neck, and he winces at the sudden pricks of pain. “Do they still hurt?”

He sighs. “Not as much as they did, but…yeah.”

“I can get a cream or something. My mom’s got a whole cabinet full of that shit.”

“I don’t know if it’ll work on undead skin, but I guess it’s worth a try.”

Eli walks out of the room, and Demetri is alone with the moonlight streaming through the window. He reclines on Eli’s bed, letting out a long breath.

It’s 3 am now. At least a few more hours before Demetri has to figure out what the fuck he’s going to do about his mom and Heracles. About his Tech Town shifts. About Miguel and Sam and Chris and Nate and Mr. LaRusso and everyone else who he can’t go near ever again.

That was supposed to be Eli too, but he was a stubborn fucker. Getting a redwood tree to budge would be easier.

He stretches out his arms, and his hand hits something plush. He turns, smiling.

He didn’t notice when he first came in, but Raptor Reynaldo, the stuffed hawk he won for Eli at a carnival when they were 7, is perched on his best friend’s pillow. Demetri spent an hour getting the damn bird out of a claw machine, and he’s been a scowling Eli Moskowitz bedroom presence ever since. Eli got his mom to sew a stupid red mohawk onto Raptor Reynaldo’s head during junior year, and he still hasn’t gotten around to taking it off.

Edgy idiot.

Despite himself, Demetri grabs the bird and pulls him in. It’s nice to have something soft to squeeze. Gets some of the tension out, at least.

Besides, maybe Raptor Reynaldo’s ridiculous new hairdo will pop off and go flying across the room. Perhaps into the garbage.

“Demetri.” A tired voice from the doorway. “Please don’t tell me you added Raptor Reynaldo to your legion of the undead.”

“Mmmm. I tried.” Demetri smirks. “Little hard to suck cotton stuffing, though.”

The bed compresses next to him. “Okay, sit up. I need to put this on.” Groaning, he reluctantly complies.

As Eli coats his fingers in some type of unpronounceable soothing lotion, he looks at Demetri with narrowed eyes. “Are you…are you going to let go of Raptor Reynaldo?”

Demetri scoffs. “Make me.”

Soft fingers brush his neck, and his eyes slip closed. They rub gentle spirals and curls, careful to never press too hard.

Demetri has no earthly idea whether the gel Eli picked is actually helping or not, but his best friend has a warmth that he could drink in forever.

His stomach tightens, arms tensing around the plush hawk. He grabs at his shirt and squeezes, trying to banish the thought of how badly he suddenly wants to grab Eli.

Get the fuck out of my head.

He’d sooner run full-speed into the sunrise than hurt Eli again.

“See if that helps.” Eli’s fingers slip away, and Demetri wilts in disappointment. “You want me to kiss your booboo better?”

“Oh my god, Eli.” The taller boy snorts out a laugh. “What am I, five and a half?”

“You sound pretty offended for someone cuddling a stuffed animal.”

“How could you!” Demetri does his best to sound aghast. “Raptor Reynaldo understands me, Eli.”

“I’m sure he does.”

Before Demetri can process it, Eli is swooping in and pressing warm lips to his bitemarks. The fragility he felt earlier comes rushing back.

It’s almost cruel, he thinks, Eli taunting him with what he can never have now. Not that Eli even realizes he’s doing it.

Tears threaten to leak out of him again. He gathers his resolve and holds them back.

Not twice in one night. He needs to have some standards.

“Fuck.” He leans his head on Eli’s shoulder. He feels he’s allowed that sort of small pleasure, at least. “What do I even do?”

“About…?”

“About everything. What the hell do I tell my mom?! ‘Oh, hey, sorry, I need to drop out of high school, can’t go to college, and have to work graveyard shifts at Ralph’s for the rest of my life?!’ And I know fucking Silver’s up to something, too. Betting he bribes the Hunter’s Guild not to go after him. And now he can tell all his buddies in there that there’s a new vampire on the loose. Oh, boy!”

“Demetri,” Eli murmurs into his hair. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. You know that, right?”

The scent of Eli—so torturously close—wraps around him. Something dark roils up inside Demetri, like a snake making its way through his intestines.

“I shouldn’t even be here with you.”

His voice is breaking again. Humiliating.

What’s even left to break?

“Says who?” Eli demands.

“Uh, says every piece of vampire lore since the dawn of time? I’m a resurrected corpse with no soul.”

“Like you would ever be cool enough to pull off the ‘resurrected corpse with no soul’ descriptor. You’re like…an anxious zombie with less skin falling off.”

Demetri laughs, and some of the stones in his stomach lift. “Then it makes even less sense why you’d want me around. You can’t get into an Ivy League if I eat your brain, Eli.” He jabs at Eli’s temple, and the shorter boy scoffs.

“Oh, please. You’d spend so much time worrying about eating my brain that you’d never get around to actually doing it.”

If he was wondering before, he’s sure now. Eli has no intention of letting him go.

In better circumstances, he’d be flattered. Ecstatic, even. But as of this moment…

If he wants to run away—if he wants to put as much distance between himself and Eli Moskowitz as possible—he’ll have to do it by himself. If he wants to keep Eli safe, there’s no way in hell Eli’s going to help with it.

Eli’s loyal. He’s stubborn. He’s reckless. He’s an utter pain in the ass.

And when Demetri loses him again, it’s going to gut him a thousand times harder than the last time.

He has to leave. He knows this. Anything less would make him deplorable.

The embodiment of the very monster he’s turned into.

After all, who is he to put his own happiness above Eli’s safety?

“I can get the spare blanket,” Eli says. “You can stay here tonight. We’ll…I don’t know, we’ll watch the Star Wars prequels and make fun of them. Get your mind off shit for a while.”

He uncurls himself from Demetri. As he stands up, Demetri grabs his wrist, pulling him back.

If he doesn’t say something now, he might never get the chance.

“I love you.”

Eli turns, eyes bright with shock. “You what?”

“I love you.” His voice trembles as he repeats it. “And every second, I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to lose my grip on this…thing Sensei Targaryen made me into, and I’m going to hurt you. Or kill you, I don’t know. And it’s destroying me.”

A moment of silence. Demetri feels like a clogged drainpipe about to burst.

Then Eli steps back and sinks onto the bed beside him. Wiry arms wrap around his neck, and Eli presses their foreheads together.

“You don’t have to be scared,” he whispers. “You won’t hurt me.”

“How do you know?” Demetri’s voice croaks as he says it, and he feels another sob rising in his throat.

“Because I trust you. Well, I mean…”

Hesitation. If Demetri still had a heartbeat, it would stop.

“Not with Raptor Reynaldo’s hair—I see you over there, giving it the stink eye. Basically everything else, though.”

Despite everything, Demetri laughs again. How strange, he thinks, to be the one who needs to be distracted from his misery by stupid jokes. Stranger still that Eli learned the tactic from him.

Warmth fills his stomach. All those years of his inane comedy routine to get them through the hellhole of middle school and high school, and it’s the first thing Eli pulls out when he’s hurting.

Then again, how could it be any other way?

Demetri was always the one who looked like he had it together. Making wisecracks, rattling off Doctor Who fan theories, steering lunchroom conversations toward Dungeon Lord so Eli wouldn’t notice people staring. Eli was the one who broke easily, and Demetri was the one who put him back together. And when Demetri’s own defenses finally did give way…

Well, it’s not like Eli was around to see.

And now Demetri’s fraying apart like the world’s flimsiest pipe cleaner, and the only model Eli has to pull him out of the darkness again is the only one he ever saw. The only one he knew, for years and years and years.

Demetri’s.

Something about the thought soothes him.

“You’re the strongest person I know.” Eli’s voice grows serious again. “You never gave up on me when I gave you every reason to. You were the only one who got all the squabbling rival dojo kids to see any damn sense. You see the best in people even when they treat you like shit. And some pony-tailed fuck isn’t going to bite you one time and make all that go away. I’m not abandoning you.”

“But…Eli, I…”

“We can work with this. I know it sucks balls right now, but you’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure you’re okay.”

His eyes blaze, and Demetri chuckles. “Is that a threat?”

“It might be. Don’t make me follow through. I—I…” Eli chokes on his words. “I won’t let that fucking asshole take you away from me. Not now, not ever. Get used to it.”

Eli takes a breath, and Demetri feels it ripple through his entire body.

“I love you too, Demetri.”

Demetri is still processing this when Eli closes the space between them.

Eli kisses like a hurricane—a whirlwind of ferocity and passion and power, and Demetri’s stomach may as well be swirling right toward the eye. The gales are howling in his ear, and he could swear he’s being lifted off the ground.

He’s not sure if vampires can actually do the bat shapeshifting thing, but if they can, he imagines this is what it feels like. Swooping through cool clouds, wind rushing across his small, lightweight body, starlight shining on his wings, a world of sparkling lights below him and eternal stars above.

It’s the best thing he’s ever felt.

Nonetheless, he holds back. He doesn’t give in to Eli’s vigor all the way.

He’s terrified of how far he might go if he does.

So as Eli kisses him like he’s dissolving, he returns it slower—gentle, steady, slightly tentative. His hand slides up, cupping the side of Eli’s face and rubbing his cheek with a cold thumb.

How funny is it, Demetri thinks, to have their old roles so drastically reversed. He remembers again of when he was the abrasive one and Eli was the timid, fragile one.

There’s a thump, and Demetri pulls away to see a stuffed beak glaring up at them from the floor.

Eli lets out a cry of despair. “No! Raptor Rey!”

“Now you’ve done it.” Demetri shoves Eli’s chest playfully. “Look what you’ve done to our only son.”

Eli sticks his tongue out—a tongue that Demetri now knows tastes very nice. A little bit like the Chinese food leftovers he had for dinner.

“You were the one who dropped him!”

Demetri sighs, leaning off the bed and scooping up the stuffed bird. When he puts Raptor Reynaldo back on Eli’s pillow, he pointedly faces him toward the wall.

“There. We don’t need to soil his innocent eyes.”

Eli snorts. “You’re such a fucking dork.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

It feels strange to say it. Demetri likes the sound of it though.

He scoots across the covers, wrapping long arms around Eli’s waist. Something giddy rises in his chest, briefly overpowering any of the dark impulses still churning around down there.

“You love me,” he says again.

“That’s what I said.” Eli jabs him in the chest accusingly. “What, did Silver bust up your hearing or something?”

He swats Eli’s hand away and pulls him in, stealing another kiss. “You love me,” he hums against his lips.

“Ugh. Don’t let it get to your head.”

Demetri grins. “You love me.” He lets his voice adopt an annoying singsong cadence, and Eli groans. “You love me, Eli Moskowitz.”

He kisses Eli again, and the other boy leans into it. Demetri’s grin grows so big his face hurts.

They slump onto the bed, Eli sprawled on top of him. His arms lock down on either side of Demetri’s waist, effectively caging him in.

Apparently, Eli’s taking precautions to make sure he can’t dart away like a scared rabbit. He wants Demetri to stay that badly.

The thought is strangely flattering, if frustrating.

“You love me,” Demetri whispers in between kisses. Because it’s true. Because he can. “You love me, you love me, you love me.”

If he hadn’t already risen from an early grave, he’s sure he would have died of shock by now.

They end up a tangled mess of limbs and blankets, Eli’s head under Demetri’s chin. He feels Eli trace his chest with one hand and his arms with the other, and for a moment, everything seems like it’s going to be fine.

Demetri kisses Eli’s hair. “I’m sorry I got bloodstains on your hoodie.”

His tears have blood in them now. It’s such embarrassing edgelord nonsense right out of a middle school scene kid’s poetry. Nonetheless, it’s a sad reality he’ll now have to make do with.

Hopefully in a way that doesn’t involve ruining half of Eli’s closet.

Eli only laughs, taking it in stride. “Oh, that? Please. I have like fifteen others just like it. Went out and bought a shit ton when I stopped wearing polos.”

“That’s just as well. You looked a little dorky.” Demetri kisses his head again. “I miss the sweaters, though. Those were cute.”

Eli snorts. “I can’t wear those around you. Do you know how much of a bitch it is to clean blood out of knitted shit?!”

“Well, then, don’t make me cry. Extra incentive to make sure I’m not sad! That, and. You know.” He snickers. “You love me.”

Eli groans again. “God, shut up. Smug asshole.”

He shuffles against Demetri, turning his head slightly. Moonlight glows off his skin, washing it in a sleek silvery-white.

Demetri’s stomach contracts.

Eli’s exposed neck suddenly looks a little too clean. A little too…unmarred.

He shoves the impulse away. Nonetheless, the reminder worms into him, putting the stones right back in his chest.

“It’s dangerous, you know,” Demetri murmurs. “Being with me. Being around me at all.”

“Mmmm, don’t fucking care.” Eli pushes a hand into Demetri’s hair, gently twirling a strand around his finger. “I stole a venomous snake from a zoo, Demetri. I also backstabbed a literal war criminal who could probably make my death look like an accident. And I may have survived rabies. I can handle danger.”

“This isn’t the same.” Demetri shakes his head. “People will hunt me. Maybe…maybe forever. And if they find out we’re together, they’ll hunt you, too.”

Eli scoffs. “Yeah, I know, genius.”

Demetri looks at the boy wrapped around him. Cozy, comfortable, completely relaxed.

Perhaps putting a tad too much faith into Demetri’s Vampire Hunger Regulation Abilities.

He takes a breath. “I don’t know if I’m going to keep being…me. I could still hurt you. Without…without even meaning to or wanting to or anything.”

Eli has no idea what he’s getting into. Not really.

Demetri at least owes him that out.

“I know.” Eli presses into his chest. “But that’s my decision, isn’t it? You can’t make that for me.”

“Maybe not, but you have to know it’s ill-advised to—”

“You’re not getting rid of me,” Eli cuts him off sharply. “Stop trying.”

“Just…if I get worse…” He rubs gentle circles along Eli’s back. “You need to—”

He can’t finish. He should tell Eli to run, but the words won’t come out.

“We’ll worry about that later.” Eli pulls him closer. “Just…let me try and help you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

“Okay.” Demetri exhales, fingers brushing through light brown hair. “Okay.”

***

A disgusted shout fills the cool night air as Eli’s arm flies over the boat railing. Two bright spoons plummet from his hand, plopping into the starlit ocean.

His eyes lock on them until they sink out of sight, lip curling.

Demetri nervously taps a finger against the railing. “Is that the last of them?”

Eli turns and walks over to the unzipped silverware pack, lying on the deck a few feet away. He crouches down, peering inside.

Demetri can sense his heartbeat slow down a little as he relaxes. “Yeah. They’re all gone.”

He reclaims his spot next to Demetri, staring out at the inky water with a furrowed brow. Demetri inches closer to him, pressing into his shoulder.

He sighs. “You know, Moon wouldn’t like this shameless environmental degradation you’re causing.”

Eli rolls his eyes. “Silver’s a naturally-occurring metal. It’s fine.”

Demetri pulls his lips into an exaggerated pout. “Oh, Eli, the bottom-dwellers are weeping at your disrespect! What, you want the giant isopods to break their teeth trying to eat metal?!”

“If an isopod breaks all their teeth eating metal, I think it’s like…natural selection. The species’ll manage.”

Eli leans into Demetri’s shoulder, and Demetri feels him tense up.

“I couldn’t let that shit anywhere near you.”

Demetri’s hand inches across the railing, finding the other boy’s. He weaves them together in a fluid movement that has become second nature.

“You know I wouldn’t dissolve in a puff of smoke, right?” he murmurs. “I’d probably just get a nasty burn. A little antiseptic and I’d be right as rain.”

Eli grunts disapprovingly. “No one says that anymore. And do you know for sure you wouldn’t turn into smoke?”

“Well, if silver evaporates us, that would’ve been helpful to know earlier.” He throws an arm around Eli and jostles his shoulder, earning a reluctant chuckle. “Someone could’ve chucked one of those $4000 ladles at good old Terrence when he showed up at Mr. LaRusso’s door. Would’ve solved at least half of our problems.”

Truthfully, Demetri shouldn’t have even known what was going on at the LaRusso residence. He should’ve been gone from their lives weeks ago.

But, of course, his attempts to freeze out the dojo have been a resounding failure.

It was easy enough to have his Tech Town shifts “keep interfering” with daytime practice, but people weren’t about to let him get away with bailing on every single social event. The house parties, the game nights, the pool hangouts…eventually nothing short of working 60 hours a week could account for missing all of them.

And by “people” he means Miguel. It was always Miguel.

Another beautiful spectacle of irony, he thinks. That’s twice Miguel Diaz has nagged him not to quit karate…although he likes to believe his reasons are a little better this time around.

Still, the guy missed his terrible puns more than Demetri was anticipating. So to the nighttime events and get-togethers he went, attached at the hip to Eli and wallowing in the strange melancholy of being surrounded by friends who loved a version of him that didn’t fully exist anymore.

“So let me get this straight.” Eli’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. “Terry Silver just…rings Mr. LaRusso’s doorbell, says he ‘hears he’s having vampire problems,’ hands him a box of antique silverware, and then fucks off?”

Demetri shrugs. “That’s what he told me. Sensei Toxic Waste Scandal loves his little mind games.”

Eli wrinkles his nose. “How did he even carry the box without hurting himself?”

“He has minions, Eli. I’m sure they help haul around all the garlic and stakes and crucifixes and anything else he might need to antagonize his many vampire karate rivals. Guy seems good at making enemies, so I’m betting he has at least 15.”

Although Eli forces a chuckle, it quickly gives way to a concerned frown.

“Did Mr. LaRusso know? About you being…”

“Not before that, no.” Demetri sighs. “But it wasn’t exactly hard for him to put two and two together. Me never being out in the sunlight anymore. Only showing up for movie nights and pizza parties. Not eating many of the snacks. Not using that Pizza Hut garlic dip anymore. Making some excuse to leave if someone got a cut. Not…smiling with my teeth for group photos.”

He winces. Eli clutches his hand a little tighter.

“Word gets around.” Demetri shrugs, trying his best to look indifferent. “The whole dojo knows now. Don’t know why they’re still protecting me, to be honest.”

“Because…they care about you?” Eli knits his brow.

“For now.” He lets out a tired breath. “Wait until I accidentally do something creepy, and someone ‘spills’ the garlic dip. I don’t know. They’re going to figure out I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”

“You’re not.” Demetri feels Eli’s thumb brush against the back of his hand, and his skin flutters.

“Not…” He looks away. “Not according to Silver, I don’t think.”

“What do you mean?”

Eli’s voice is suddenly terse with worry—the exact kind of concern that would be much better spent on the land of the living.

“Don’t you get it?” Demetri turns back, giving him a morose look. “That’s why it was so easy to rescue me. He let you. He figured I’d go crazy eventually and try to eat everyone, and then Mr. LaRusso would remember who swooped in like a knight in karate armor and gave him the very MacGuffin he needed to save the day. You know, the…vampiric Excalibur. Good way to get Mr. L in his debt, I guess.”

“But…Sam’s family’s already pretty rich.” Eli sounds dubious. “Don’t they have their own fine silver?”

“It was probably more a symbolic thing. But I mean, who better to know what kind of silver is actually lethal to vampires than…vampires?”

A silence falls over them. Demetri stares down at the lapping waves below, following the curves in the moonlight.

Eli presses closer to him, and he drinks in the warmth.

“He was wrong, though. You haven’t tried to eat everyone. You haven’t touched anyone.”

His voice is soft, hopeful. Demetri can’t stand to crush it.

But he knows he has to.

“Not yet.”

“Do you need to feed again?” Eli’s tone is casual. “Because you know, Sam and I could just scam another blood bank—”

“And is that okay?!”

It comes out with more ferocity than he intends.

“Probably more okay than draining our friends? Or…random people on the street?”

Demetri looks up to see Eli’s lips slightly apart, the way they always are when he’s genuinely confused.

“But people need that for blood transfusions. Aren’t we like…indirectly killing them or something?!”

Eli snorts. “Yeah, well, you also need it to not die. Why are you any less important?”

“Because I’m a blood-sucking monstrosity with evil dagger teeth?!”

“If you’re trying to sell me on how horribly undeserving of life you are, you should stop using the coolest possible descriptors for yourself.”

Demetri rolls his eyes. “Not my fault you’re turned on by everything even slightly morally-depraved.”

“Hell yeah I am.”

Eli brushes a kiss against his cheek. Demetri smiles at the boat railing, the edges of his unease ebbing away.

“Cheer up.” Eli bumps his shoulder. “Mr. LaRusso’s not an idiot. He wouldn’t have given us that box to get rid of if he thought you were gonna go on a rampage.”

“Hmmm.” He squeezes Eli’s hand, trying to push down the growing worry. “Maybe that’s his mistake.”

“I think the only one here who doesn’t trust you is you.”

And just like that, Eli is giving him the doe eyes again.

Curse this kid’s faith in him. There’s no way he deserves it.

Still, he can’t help but be grateful.

He kisses the side of Eli’s head. “Thank you. I love you.”

Another silence passes over them. Demetri closes his eyes, letting himself hear nothing but the ocean and the wind and feel nothing but Eli’s heartbeat.

Steady. Slow. Relaxed. Unafraid.

It’s one of the only things that can calm him these days.

“Nice of Yas to help us rent this boat,” Eli pipes up after a while. “Must’ve had to really pull some strings to get the guys to give it to us at 2 in the fucking morning.”

“And nice of her to check if the silver’s real, too,” Demetri adds. “Growing up in the most bougie part of Encino has its perks.”

Eli glances behind them, and Demetri follows his gaze.

The boat cabin is lit up, giggling trailing out of the windows and weed smoke wreathing through the cool night air. Whatever Yasmine and Moon are doing, the girls seem to be having a lot more fun than them.

“You wanna go upstairs?” Eli asks.

Demetri smiles. “Read my mind.”

His boyfriend shoves him playfully. “Don’t I always?”

He clicks his tongue. “Goes both ways, love. Didn’t need fabled vampiric mind-scanning abilities to get access to yours, though. Memorized the keycode ages ago.”

For a moment, Eli looks thrown off.

“Can you read minds?”

“Ha! No.” Demetri snorts. “I’ve already got the enhanced strength and speed and rapid tree-climbing thing. They had to give us some nerfs.”

“Oh, yeah. Otherwise I know you’d take over the world.”

Eli ducks out from Demetri’s arm and turns to the boat cabin, pulling his boyfriend along.

“You know…” Demetri plants his feet in the deck, gaze straying toward the empty silverware box. He lets out a long, weary breath.

“That won’t be the last time that happens. People are going to keep trying, Silver and whoever else.”

Eli scoffs. “I knew what I was getting into, Demetri. I’m not stupid.”

“I know, but are you sure you want to—”

“Yes, idiot. For the millionth time. I…” His voice cracks slightly. “I meant what I said, you know. The night you got turned. No one fucking touches you. And if they try…”

His eyes darken, taking on a sheen that Demetri used to dread. The kind of No Mercy look that’s still hardwired into him.

“I’ll end them.”

“Oh, I know.” Demetri chuckles. “If I know you, you’ll do your damndest. But I suppose not everyone has a giant karate trophy to back up that kind of claim.”

“Not a bad weapon, either.” Eli smirks. “All else fails, I can smash them over the head with it.”

“Oh, that would be a sight.”

Eli laughs, and Demetri pulls him in. He plants a lingering kiss before smiling against his lips.

“Have I ever mentioned that I love you?”

Every time he says it, he means it a little more.

***

“It’s a terrible idea, Eli!”

Eli rolls his eyes, pulling Demetri out the back door. “Come on, man. I’ve done the math. If we stay on the west-ish side of your house, the sun won’t touch you.”

“But—”

“You haven’t seen sunlight in...what? 3 months now? That’s depressing.”

“Fine.”

Demetri’s loathe to admit it, but it doesn’t turn out to be a terrible idea.

The sunrise is gorgeous, all rich golds and peachy pinks. It glints off his neighbors’ windows and bathes the street’s murky trees in a soft glow.

Of course, Demetri hides behind Eli the entire time, clinging to his arm with pale, freezing fingers.

“See?” Eli weaves their hands together. They’re intertwined more often than not these days. “Told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Like seeing daytime again?”

A deep yearning stirs inside Demetri. His fingers twitch, suddenly wanting more than anything to poke out of the shadows.

He kisses Eli’s shoulder. “Yeah. Thank you.”

They stand in silence for a while, watching the sky go from light gray to orange-rimmed to blue. The yearning only tightens its grip.

Before the change, he never had a preference for day or night. You could watch TV or play Crucible Control or read comics in either. But now…

He realizes he missed the sunshine. He missed the fluffy cotton clouds that he and Eli used to watch at recess, lying on the grass next to the playground. He missed the sound of birds, as much as he once complained about them waking him up at ungodly hours.

Sharp pain seizes his toes, and he jumps back with a hiss.

“Shit.” Eli’s brow furrows. “You okay?”

He sighs, glancing down at where the house’s shadow has started to rescind. “Yeah, yeah. Just wasn’t paying attention.”

“You want to go inside?”

Demetri shakes his head. “We can spare a few more minutes.”

They back up, sitting against the wall. Demetri drinks in the growing morning, wondering how he convinced himself he was content to never see this again.

“Dude.”

Demetri frowns. “What?”

“Are you crying?”

He notices the wet sensation around his eyes a few moments too late. His entire body burns with embarrassment.

“I…” He does his best to sound nonchalant. “…have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Look at me, Demetri.”

“No. Fuck off.”

He feels Eli’s hand on his cheek and swats it away. “Leave me alone,” he grumbles.

Vampirism is already bad enough without him bawling like a 4-year-old because the sky turned blue. As in the color it had been Demetri’s entire fucking life. This is beyond humiliating.

Eli reaches for him again. He turns away, only for his boyfriend’s other hand to slip from his own and shoot up to catch Demetri’s cheek.

“Hold still, moron. People are gonna freak out if they see you leaking blood out of your eyes. They’ll think it’s some shit from The Exorcist and douse you in salt or something.”

Demetri lets out a defeated sigh, letting Eli brush gentle thumbs across his cheeks. “You’d better not use this as blackmail.”

“First of all, I’ve got better shit for that.” Eli pauses to wipe off his fingers on the grass, creating what will inevitably end up looking like a squirrel crime scene. “Second of all, like.”

He gives Demetri a searching look as he continues to gather up the tiny, blood-filled droplets. “It’s okay to be upset about this, man. It sucks. I mean the teeth are badass and I’m kind of jealous, but yeah, I mean…shit’s hard.”

Demetri hums thoughtfully. “You should bribe your dentist to file your teeth into little fangs. What with all the hair dye and the tattoos, what’s asking your parents for a few more hundred bucks?”

Eli laughs, giving him a look so soft that he’s now at risk of crying more. Absolutely unfair, not to mention counterproductive.

At some point, Eli pauses, hands resting on Demetri’s cheeks and scarred-knuckle thumbs in mid-swipe.

“I’m glad your eyes didn’t change,” he says suddenly.

Demetri blinks at him. “Huh?”

“I thought they’d turn red or yellow or something. But they’re still green.”

“Are they?”

He chuckles. He’d wondered here and there how different he looked now, but it wasn’t as though his house’s mirrors were going to be much help figuring that out.

“Yeah, like…” Eli inspects him through narrowed eyes. “Slight gold-ish tint, but that’s it. Thank god. I’ve always liked your eyes.”

Demetri’s face goes hot. “Can you stop saying cute stuff for like…10 seconds? You’re making me too flustered to function.”

“No chance in hell, asshole.”

They settle back against the house wall, fingers entwined again. The morning continues to crawl in, and Demetri knows they’ll have to go inside soon.

Regardless, he’ll drink up every nanosecond of daylight until the time comes.

Demetri takes a long breath.

“I told my mom.”

“What?” Eli turns, eyes wide. “What happened? What’d she say?”

He chuckles. “She was…surprisingly unsurprised. I guess it checks out, her growing up in Orestiada and all. All the folklore and whatnot was right next door. She just never put a lot of stock in it. Woman of science, as you know.”

He smiles weakly. He never knew his dad, but he imagines he has Ms. Alexopoulos to thank for most of his good traits.

“I kind of had to explain why I wanted to drop out of school and get an online GED,” he adds, grimacing. “And even before that, um…well, I couldn’t hide this forever.”

He pulls up his flannel sleeve to uncover a crisscross of burned skin, seared into his upper arm. Eli winces.

“Shit, right. What did you tell her happened that night, anyways? No way you’d come home roughed up and she wouldn’t throw a fit.”

“Said we got jumped by some Cobra Kais. It’s the standard explanation for being a victim of violence in the Valley these days.”

“You’re lucky she didn’t look too much into it.” Eli traces delicate fingers across his skin, brushing over the branded crucifix. “On your bad luck arm, too.”

His right arm. The one Eli broke what seems like a lifetime ago.

“God.” He laughs. “It really is.”

“So is she…okay with it?” Eli bites his lip, giving Demetri’s bad luck arm a small squeeze. “Not just the crucifix burn, but like…everything.”

“Seems like it.” Demetri chuckles again. “She did a garlic purge as soon as I told her. Said she was actually a little relieved because she was worried her skordalia had been really shitty lately. I mean, I told her she could still eat it, but she was adamant that she intended never to touch a clove of the stuff again.”

“So she didn’t disown you, then.” Eli laughs. “Thank god.”

“Well. It’s not like I came home and told her I want to re-decorate our living room to look like Mrs. Hasapi’s. Now that is a disownable offense.”

Eli snorts. “What even is your mom’s beef with her?”

“Oh, none, really. She just thinks her armchairs look like they were unearthed from the local landfill.”

They both laugh for a while, leaning into each other and taking in the neighborhood coming to life. Eli rests his head on Demetri’s shoulder, letting out a small sigh.

“I looked into some online colleges, by the way. They’re not bad. UMass has a pretty good online CS program.”

Demetri doesn’t allow himself to indulge in Eli’s hopefulness.

“Oh, yeah?” he mutters forlornly. “And what tech company needs night watch guys, may I ask?”

Eli shrugs. “You could do contract work. Just charge people independently to fix their shit. Might be a pain in the ass to get customers at first, but you’d probably make bank eventually.”

Demetri purses his lips, thinking.

“I…guess it’s not a completely unreasonable idea. But you know you don’t have to do all that for me.”

“Yeah, I do.” Eli’s thumb rubs along the back of his hand. “I love you, stupid. And you’re too busy moping and crying blood everywhere to do it yourself.”

He beams.

He should be used to Eli loving him by now, but he doesn’t think he ever will be.

***

So I was joking with some friends in a discord server before S5 dropped that maybe the reason Dem wasn’t in a bunch of the trailer scenes was because he got kidnapped by Terry Silver and/or turned into a vampire and can’t be in direct sunlight and then it just kinda. Became a fic. Against my will. Like I do not at all have the time to write this AND YET.

Also, yes, Demetri did indeed fight off his vampire impulses just by being like “hey fuck off” and then they did. And that’s on the power of gay love <3

I am an evil god who loves writing Demetri angsting and having breakdowns because if the show will not let him McFucking Lose It, then I will <3 <3 Peace and love on earth!!! Anyways, if Eli’s a lil bit more gentle with him than usual here, that’s why. Boy is Going Through It to the highest degree.

Enjoy the abundance of “I love you”s here, because these idiots are not going to get there for several more chapters of the road trip fic XD Kinda my first crack at writing Established Relationship Elimetri, but don’t worry!!! There will be angst and drama aplenty!!! I am putting them through horrors >:3

This goes with this, this, and this!!! Most I was able to work into the actual story except for the last one :P Also Raptor Reynaldo is from this post!!!