#i gotta get a wok

[solemntitty]

me adding that fucking chili oil in to any soup: how did I grow up with unsalted chicken and boiled vegetables

[scheherazades-vigil]

I -suppose- I'll let go the slight against my age, but yknow, my eye strain is so bad I just wear my RX reading glasses now because I am 35 and manic out of nowhere, nothing's much helping, but I'm really not sleeping much and spend an alarming amount of time on screens. Mostly my phone. For my answers I suppose you'll have to wade through the staggering love of instapots in the comments for an indeterminate amount of time.

Okay, I also tagged a bunch of pretentious crap or something idk

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

[lowkeyremi]

"DADDY I THREW UP"

How they react when their little ones throw up ! (we all know gojo is gonna be overreacting) ft. gojo, geto, choso, toji, and nanami

content: TW: vomit, no curse!au fluff, established relationship (marriage), children, families. (divider by kim jiho) same kids from jjk men as dads

Gojo Satoru

Satoru's on daddy duty for the next week and a half while you're gone, and so far he's actually doing quite well. Currently, he's making dinner from a simple recipe in the recipe book you've been making throughout the last few years.

Two year old Kenji waddles into the kitchen and tugs on Satoru's sweatpants. His head whips around to look down at his little mini-me.

"Hey Kenji, what's up little guy?" He puts his attention back on the wok with noodles in it to make sure he doesn't burn dinner. As he's stirring the food around with chopsticks Kenji starts to form a sentence, "Um.. throw up."

Satoru freezes. "W-what?" He knows exactly what Kenji said but he's scared to turn around. Kenji whines a little bit, "Throw up. Kenji throw up." Usually Satoru would find his toddler's 3rd person speaking cute but right now he feels himself breaking out into a cold sweat.

"Oh... um.. It's okay? Where is it?" Kenji's little feet waddle away from the kitchen expecting his daddy to follow after him. Satoru turns the heat down to low so the food won't burn, and follows his little boy to the 'crime scene'.

Kenji sticks his thumb in his little mouth and points to the throw up on the carpet.

"O-oh god, I think I'm gonna-" He gags and runs into the bathroom. Nothing comes from his mouth so he shudders. He needs to calm down, it's just a little throw up from his own kin, he'll be alright. The faucet runs and he splashes some water on his face.

"I can do this. I can do this. I can-" He hears the telltale sign of someone throwing up. Kenji is definitely sick. The throw up is followed by loud crying. Satoru's dad instincts kick in and he runs back over to where his little boy is.

"Hey, hey, hey, little guy. It's gonna be okay. Let's get you a bath, then I'll call mommy, okay?" Kenji nods. It breaks Satoru's heart hearing those little sniffles that leave his baby boy.

Geto Suguru

"PAPAAAAA!!!! Hana threw up!!!" Suguru looks at you and you stare right back.

"Don't look at me, I cleaned Hana's vomit yesterday while you were working late." He fights the urge to roll his eyes at you, because you're being childish in his mind.

Suguru makes his way to the kitchen so he can get the carpet cleaning spray out of the cabinet. "Fucking hell." He mumbles without realizing his six year old daughter was near by.

She gasps dramatically before yelling, "OOOOOO PAPA SAID A BAD WORD!!!" He screws his eyes shut, agitation was slowly seeping in.

"I'll put a dollar in the jar, but please stop screaming, Kana. Your sister doesn't feel good and the screaming is hurting Papa's head." He has retrieved the spray and a damp rag to clean up the soiled spot on the carpet.

"Sorry Papa." Kana's voice is lowered drastically. Being a curious little thing she follows her father to go check up on her little twin sister.

"You alright, princess?" Suguru sits close to her little pink bed and poor little Hana shakes her head 'no'.

"I don't feel good, Papa." She whines quietly. Suguru can tell by the way her eyes water, the sweat beads grow on her forehead and the way she frowns deeply that she definitely is sick.

"Why don't you go brush your teeth for me, princess? Then Papa will get you some medicine." Suguru understands his daughter very well. He'd always get sick while eating curses, sometimes they were so bad he would vomit all over the place. LOLLL no curse au so he aint gotta suffer.

She nods hopping from her bed to go brush her teeth in the bathroom. Suguru gets to work cleaning up the carpet.

Kamo Choso

Ryuji's school had called you because your boy threw up in school, which he was very embarrassed about because elementary schoolers always know how to make a big deal out of something small. Many children were crowding your son where he threw up some gasped in horror others laughed. Luckily the teachers were able to get the students under control once more.

They sent him to the nurse and she dialed you, "I'm so sorry, baby. Mom's out of town, give the phone back to the nurse so I can give her dad's number, okay?" He utters a quiet response before handing the phone over.

You chat with the nurse for a little bit giving her the information she needed then you told your son goodbye and hung up.

The nurse is quick to dial Choso and he picks up after the fourth ring. "Good morning, Sir. I'm calling because your son Ryuji Kamo threw up and he isn't feeling too good. We called Mom but she said she won't be able to come pick him up. Do you think you could check him out or do you have another trusted family member who could pick him up?" She's got a pen and notepad ready to write down another number if Choso couldn't make it.

"Oh dear, yeah I'll be there in about twenty minutes. Is his stuff packed already or..." He trails phone pressed to his ear, he hadn't been doing anything too important since he'd already finished up his meeting.

"No Sir, we'll send him right up to pack up. He'll be waiting for you in the main office."

"Alright, thank you." Choso's starting to worry, does he need to take Ryuji to the doctor? Should he stop at the grocery store and get soup? Should he make soup? Do you have kids cold/flu medicine at home? Your husband can't remember the last time Ryuji had vomited and he's pretty sure you'd taken care of it anyway.

"Hey Siri, how do I take care of my sick son?" She responds with 'here's what I found' he quickly scans over an article and the main idea is comfort him, make him something light, make sure he's hydrated, and gets plenty of rest. He could do that. Choso's not the best at emotions but he'll do what he can for his boy.

Eventually the two make it home, and Choso is quick to act. "Change into your pjs and I'll get you some medicine. How do you feel?" He needs a basic idea of what he's dealing with.

"My stomach reallyyyyyyy hurts." He whines holding his abdomen area tightly.

"Like you need to go to the bathroom kind of hurt?" Choso thinks it might be a stomach bug because his so shakes his head 'no'.

"Nuh uh, feels like someone is stabbing me in the stomach." His brows knit and a frown covers his face. it hurts to see his son suffering.

"Alright, I've got you kiddo. I'll take care of you." He promises to his growing boy.

"Thanks dad."

Fushiguro Toji

"Dad come look! I threw up! It's so cool!" Four year old Yui says, which is odd, no normal little kid is happy after throwing up so Toji is suspicious.

"Tell your brother to clean it up." Yui crosses her little arms and pouts.

"I already told Megumi and Nami!! They told me to go tell you!!!" He doesn't want to clean it up. He already has his work cutting out for him changing his newborn's diapers, cleaning up vomit was not on his list of to dos.

He would have told her to go ask you to clean it up but it's sunday and you usually go out for brunch with your friends. So, unless he somehow coaxed his stubborn son, Megumi, he'd have to do it himself.

When he finally reaches the bathroom, he groans in annoyance at how she just barely missed the toilet had she run a little faster she would have made it. To make matters worse it looks like she tried to clean it up herself and just spread it all everywhere.

"Oh, Sprinkles threw up too! Cuz he ate some of mine."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" A deep unsettling groan rips from his throat. Yui finds the whole ordeal funny, she's giggling and cooing at her father.

Bonus: A few days later you're walking past Yui's room and you hear her yell, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

You instantly stop, "Excuse you little girl, who did you hear say that?"

"Dad said it when he had to clean up my throw up!!" She smiles brightly at you. She's so innocent she doesn't fully understand the weight of what she's said.

"That's a bad word sweet girl. Don't say that anymore, got it?"

You're given a little nod to indicate she understands.

"TOJI WHERE ARE YOU?!" He's about to get an earful from you.

Nanami Kento:

"Hey guys, I came as soon as I could." You exhale deeply as you set your keys on the rack and slip off your shoes. Kento had picked up your son because the school called saying he'd thrown up.

Kento appears from the hallway with a finger on his lip telling you to "shh".

You lower your voice to a whisper, "Is Hiro alright?" Kento walks up to you and gives you a comforting hug which you really needed.

"Yeah he's resting right now. He threw up in the car. Twice. I was going to go clean it up right now. Emmie should be waking up from her nap soon, though." You're so grateful to have a husband you can rely on in a time of need.

When Hiro's school had called you, you were in the middle of a very important meeting so you couldn't leave. Nanami had left work early to go pick up your son.

His smile is so intoxicating. You pull him by his collar and make his lips meet yours. He immediately reciprocates by bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks and kiss you back.

"Thank you, baby." His eyes are so beautiful and if you didn't have to go make sure to be there for your baby girl you would have continued to stare at them.

"Of course my love. Parenting is a two person thing for a reason."

"I bet by next week we'll be sick too." You say chuckling dryly.

"Most likely, yeah." He says shaking his head. He begrudgingly walks out to his car to clean up the vomit in the backseat.

[achromatophoric]

Bianca: Did you hear? The furs who posted that nude edit of Addams are all in the infirmary.

Divina: Yeah! The tea is that they were all forced to eat their own uh— you know.

Yoko: Classic Wednesday. Gross and excessive. But those jerks definitely deserved it. It’ll take months for their junk to grow back.

The girls shudder at the thought. A moment later Enid skips up with a bag slung over one shoulder.

Enid: Hiya! What’s up?

Bianca: Just talking about your worse half. Speaking of, where is she?

Enid: Oh, she’s been gone all weekend. Some family thing.

Bianca/Divina/Yoko: *synchronized double-take*

Enid: Anyways! I’m just here to return the stuff I borrowed yesterday. *unzips bag*

Enid: Here’s your camping stove, B. Divina, your nice chef’s knife. And Yoko, your wok.

Bianca/Divina/Yoko: 😦😦😦

Enid: Thanks so much! Now I gotta go put together an edit for Willa. See ya! *skips away*

Bianca: You don’t think…?

Divina: *stares at her knife* No. No way that she…

Yoko: 😑

Yoko: Imma get a new wok.

[local-new-kid-super]

Toolshed/Stan Marsh x GN!Reader

"Wiggin' Out!"

Featuring: Randy, Mysterion, Professor Timmy, and guest star LORDE!!!

Warnings: None! Just a bit of drinking and usual Randy shenanigans.

Synopsis: You have to make a suprise visit to the Freedom Pals hide out after a weird encounter with Mr. Marsh...

You're the New Kid, you work to protect the city because that's what heroes do. You look after the citizens, stopping robberies at City Wok and finding cat for some of the more... flamboyant members of the town. However, regardless of whether or not you work with Raccoon and Friends or The Freedom Pals, or even alone, you end up dealing with Randy more than the other citizens of South Park...

"Oh! H-hey, New Kid! I need to tell-you, urpppp..." Randy Marsh comes stumbling down the steps of his porch one night while you're trying to focus on patrol, and he puts his hands on his knees as he meets you height. "New kid, listen... I jus' wanna say, it's really fuckin' cool that you've got sssecret identity. It's important, doing good and shit-" He puts a hand on your shoulder. At least he's not actively fighting you about keeping his car keys again, he did a number on Scott.

"Thanks, Mr. Marsh, is there anything else you needed to tell me?" You ask, needing to either get back on patrol or get Mr. Marsh back into his house. He nods and stands fully, almost grave.

"Yes, I do need to tell you something, I'm glad you can tell." He looks of dramatically, and you can sense he's going to go on one of his Randy-Rants. "I understand the weight of a secret identity who does only good, and all the shit that comes with it. Having to sneak around, change outfits, hide money from fucking Sharon..."

"Sir, what are you-"

"That's right, New Kid. I am Lorde." He continues after taking another swig. "And *urp*, I'm willing to teach you, be your Mr. Miyagi, you just gotta help me out-" He stumbles over to his car, unlocking the back. You sign and post up, prepared to take his keys again, when he pulls something from the back seat. "Take ,y w-wig to the dry cleaners, I need full blow out f-for my next show. I'll start training you when you get back-" He chucks the wig at you with poor aim, and it just flops onto the ground beside you, now caked in stray hairs and snow. You pick it up with a gloved hand, sure to avoid touching your skin with it. Before you can even ask him if he'll pay you or tell him that's not what you do, he's back on his porch, asleep and mumbling "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm Lorde... yeah..."

Reluctantly, you make your way over to the suburb in the northeast part of town, 'Dark Meadows', and make your way over to the Freedom Pals base. The Raccoon would kick your ass if he knew you were here, but frankly, you just want to get this wig handed off to someone before it gives you some sort of disease or infection.

Ringing the doorbell of Tupperware's house, you wait until a lady with her hair up in a red headband opens it, quirking a brow before nodding. "Oh, you must be one of Tolkien's hero friends! The boys are in the basement, refreshments are upstairs."

You nod, as as you approach the basement door with a nanny cam, you can feel a harsh shiver run down your spine, as if the cold hand of the reaper just smacked you right on the ass. Turning around, the caped crusader known as Mysterion is glaring at you from the shadowed corner of the Black family living room.

"State your business, Raccoon Friend." He spits, posture tense as if preparing for battle. Even if you don't pose a threat right now, chances are Mysterion will still kick your ass. You know how he can be. Putting your hands up in a sign of surrender, you shake your head rapidly.

"I just need to talk to Toolshed, that's all. I'm not here for Raccoon, I'm not trying anything. I came alone, a-and I'm unarmed." You stammer out. Mysterion freaks you out, he was the first hero in town and clearly the most capable. It doesn't help that he's the only hero whose identity you don't at least have a suspicion about.

"I don't fucking buy it." Mysterion stands up from his leaning position, approaching with a snarl. "Get out, or I'll send you back to that fatass in a box-" Before he can get close enough to physically make good on his promise, a voice echoes in your mind, and apparently Mysterion hears it too, as he stands at attention with a huff.

"Now, now, Mysterion," Professor Timmy chides, coming up the stairs with the help of Toolshed and Tupperware, his chair clanking at the two heroes struggle to move it up. "We see the best in everyone, and I can sense the New Kid's intentions are genuine. We must grant everyone a chance to plead their case. Toolshed, take a break. Mysterion, come back downstairs for the briefing, and keep your temper in check." Mysterion casts you one last stinging glance before he heads down the stairs. Tupperware shakes his head as he motions for Wonder Tweek to help him out.

"G-gah! Can't you get a wheelchair lift, T-tupperware? You have money!" Tweak stammers as he begins to descend the stairs.

"You'd think with Professor Timmy's psychic powers he could do this himself..." Tupperware mumbles as the three disappear from view. Toolshed turns to you, giving you a once over. Ever since you prevented his dad from drunk driving, he's been a little warmer to you than the other Freedom Pals.

"Uh- hey, New Kid? What do you need?" Toolshed asks, clearly a little wary, seeing as you still have some ties to Raccoon and Friends. All you can do is hold out the gross wig, unsure how to even explain what happened with his dad earlier. Luckily for you, he understand immediately, brows flattening as he rubs his forehead. "Jesus fucking christ-" He looks back up. "He told you he's Lorde?"

"Yeah, and he gave me this wig, told me to-"

"Go to the dry cleaners and get his wig a blow out, yeah, he's always doing shit like this. And don't let him 'Mr. Miyagi' you either, he did that to me when I took Karate in third grade. He just wants you to fix the dents in the car and clean the windows before my mom notices he messed it up.Here," Toolshed flinches as he takes the wig. "I'll handle it, New Kid. Thanks for helping out my dad... again. I hope this doesn't mean I know you another favor because I'm not really interested in helping Raccoon again." He says, and you both chuckle.

"Yeah, it's no problem, is your dad like, okay though? He kind of all over the place."

Toolshed just shrugs. "Eh. He'll be fine, he always weird like that. Listen, take this." He hands you a slip of paper with his Raccoonstagram tag and his phone number. "I don't think Mysterion will like it very much if you keep showing up in case you see my dad being weird again, so just message me whenever and I'll swing by and deal with it."

You smile as you type the info into your cell. "Gee, thanks, Toolshed. Maybe I could text you even if your dad is perfectly fine?" You asks with a teasing tone, causing the raven-haired hero to go stiff.

"Uh- yeah. Yeah." He says, gulping a little as his grips his tool belt. "I gotta go, I think m' gonna be sick-" he rushes off towards Tupperware's bathroom, leaving you worried you said the wrong thing.

Later that night though, you get a reassuring text. "Hey, New Kid, sorry to rush off on you. Think I just ate something weird. Text me anytime." This is followed by a "Please."

You just laugh and shake your head as you plug in your phone, setting it on the nightstand. One things for sure, that guys just as weird as his father.

[cevansbrat0007]

How would aj and Andy feel if his friends call his mom a milf ( gp!reader) aj is in his teens

Summary: You're a wife, a mother, and apparently...a MILF.

Warnings: Fluff, Female Objectification, Mentions of Violence, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: This drabble is part of my Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated. ___

"Dude! It was just a joke, bro!" The young man sputters as his friend, A.J. Barber, unceremoniously thrusts his gym bag and water bottle into his arms. "I wasn't being serious."

A.J. simply shakes his head as he brushes by his buddy, Max, to open the door before gesturing for him to step outside.

"DUDE!"

"That was my mom, man. My MOM!" The younger Barber huffs, pointing an accusatory finger at Max. "And I don't know how old she is because I'm afraid to ask. I saw my Dad do it one time and it did not go well, okay? But she's not - she's so not a...a..."

A.J. trails off, visibly shuddering as he's unable to finish his sentence. Out of nowhere comes another voice, this one belonging to the Barber family patriarch.

"What's all this commotion about, gentlemen? I can hear you from the kitchen." Andy strides into the foyer, wiping his wet hands on a navy blue dishtowel.

"Nothing." His son grumbles, blowing out a breath as he tries to resist the urge to thrust his friend out the door and slam it shut in his pencil-mustached face. "Max was just leaving."

Andy raises a concerned brow. "Before dinner? But we're making tacos in the wok tonight. Well, your mother is. I'll just be there to supervise."

And by "supervise", he meant hang out in the middle of the kitchen while you cooked so that he could occasionally accost with you kisses. While he thought of it as his own version of moral support, you maintained that he just liked getting in your "fucking way".

Your words, not his.

"He's not hungry." A.J. grunts at the same time as his pal utters the words "I could eat".

"Uh huh." The older man casts them both a suspicious look before crossing his arms over his rather impressive chest. Even in his fifties, Andrew Barber was still easy on the eyes. The budding silver-fox still managed to attract female attention wherever he went, whether he wanted it or not.

But he never paid it any mind, because he was also a happily married man who wore his wedding ring with pride

"Mrs. Barber is a phenomenal cook. My mom can't cook worth shi- I mean crap." Max laughs nervously, his hand going to rub the back of his neck. "She - my mom. Her food is not great, like at all. But, uh, maybe we could eat by the pool like we did last time."

"He's really gotta go, Dad."

"It's okay A.J. - I can stay. Mom's cool with it." Max calmly pats A.J. on his shoulder, trying to ignore the fire burning behind his hazel eyes.

"I mean...I suppose we could do that." Andy responds, a hint of skepticism in his tone. "I wonder if Y/N feels like making her homemade salsa too. I probably oughta ask..." His short, trimmed nails absently go to scratch at his bearded chin that now sported flecks of gray.

For the life of him, he couldn't seem to figure out why his son was turning such a spectacular shade of red. Or what now had him typing so furiously on his phone.

"She definitely should." Max tosses his bag back at Junior as a grin spreads across his smug face. "And you know, they say that a little sunshine does a body good."

"That it does." Andy agrees, noting of the sudden tenseness in his son's shoulders.

"And I know it's true, because the last time I saw Mrs. Barber outside she looked amazing."

Now that stops Andy quick, even as A.J. makes what sounds like a distinct choking noise in the back of throat. But the young man - Max - keeps talking, seemingly unaware of the danger he's just placed himself in.

"I was just telling A.J. here that your wife is definitely a MILF, sir. We talk about it all the time at school. And you can totally tell she works out or whatever, because she doesn't even look like how most Moms look. "

Suddenly, Andy's twitching eye mirrors his son's own.

"Hey, how old is Mrs. Barber now? Like 40?"

Andy clears his throat before casting a withering glare in the direction of his son's friend. "A word to the wise, young man - never ask a woman her age. Especially not if you want to live long enough to see your way through puberty."

A.J. nods along before returning his attention back to his phone.

"Even I don't know how old my wife is, mostly because I'm not stupid enough to ask."

"But then how do you -" Max interrupts, clearly confused by the direction of this conversation.

"If I think I need to know, then I guess. And when I guess, I err on the side of caution. Because I'm smart, and I've come to understand the meaning of the phrase happy wife, happy life."

"Oh."

"However, even without knowing just how many times Mrs. Barber has made the journey around the sun, she's still out of your age bracket. And therefore out of your league." Andy places a hand on Max's bicep, squeezing just hard enough to make the younger man gulp.

"And I would appreciate it if you didn't disrespect my wife and the mother of my son like that ever again. Do we have an understanding, Maximilian Robert Greenwell?"

"Ye-yeah. I mean yes, sir!" He quickly amends when he notices the way the elder Barber's nostrils flare. "Sorry about that. And, um, my bad, A.J."

"I took the liberty of texting your mom. She'll be here any minute." Andy's namesake interjects. "I suggest you wait for her on the front porch."

Without offering up another word, he opens the door and points toward the street. Taking the hint, his friend gathers his things once again and traipses outside. "Guess, I'll just see you at school -" He tries, only to be cut off when the door slams in his face with a satisfying thud.

"You alright, son?"

"Yep." He huffs before flipping the lock.

"You sure?"

"When he wasn't going on and on about Mom, he also threw in how KitCat and Rory were kinda hot, especially for a couple of nerds. But I shut that down fast. But then he just had to go and call Mom a MILF..."

"I understand. I've seen a lot of men do and say plenty of stupid things because of your mother, but Max..."

The two men share a look of quiet understanding. It lasts a full beat before they finally speak again.

"Max is dead to me, father."

"Good man." A.J. smiles when his father affectionately claps him on the shoulder. "We've got to watch out for the women in this house."

"We do. Plus, they'd eat a guy like Max for breakfast. I mean the level of violence I've been subjected to alone - I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, including him."

"Mhm." Andy wraps a muscled arm around the younger Barber, pulling him close to drop a brief kiss on top of his head. "Believe me when I tell you that your Mom's silverware throwing ability has seriously improved over the years. Shit is scarily accurate now."

A.J. simply nods, choosing to take his father at his word. "Well, now that that's over, is it almost time for dinner? Protecting the women in this house can really take a lot out of you."

The elder man sniffs the air, his nose detecting the delicious aroma of fresh herbs simmering in hot oil.

"I think it is. Smells like your mother's cooking now, which means I need to get in my spot." Andy bestows one last kiss against his boy's temple before playfully pushing him to the side. "Besides, I don't think I've given her a reason to fuss at me yet today. Gotta keep the spark alive somehow, kid."

Throwing his son one last wink, A.J. then watches as his father jogs off in the direction of the kitchen bellowing "here I come, baby girl".

With a sigh, the youngest member of Barber brood turns and begins climbing the stairs, laughing when he hears his lovely mother's annoyed shouts coming from the other side of the house.

His parents were crazy about each other, that much he knew. But the older he got, the more he was beginning to realize that there was a little more to it. They were actually still in love with one another.

And that was cool. Sometimes, it even made him the envy of his friends whose folks were either divorced or barely tolerated each other. He was cool with that too.

Just don't ever call his pretty Mama a MILF. Because that shit right there...that wasn't cool no matter how you spun it.

END

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi: Quick Reacts (CHAPTER 1)

Hey guys, what’s up! I’ve been neglecting to read things for a long time, being as busy as I am, but I thought it was about time I actually consume some media instead of making it for once. That’s the healthy way of doing it, I hear!

Anyway, since I like to react to the things I read, I figured I may as well record my reactions to the manga known as ‘Dungeon Meshi’ or ‘Delicious in Dungeon’ as its localized title. 

You can read the manga on your own here! Or find it elsewhere, though I encourage you to support the artist as much as you’re able. 

I cannot promise that this will be an ongoing series, I just wanted to have a bit of fun with it. This read-and-comment liveblog will contain spoilers - obviously!

Let’s get right into it!

For the sake of clarity - this comics reads RIGHT to LEFT!

Immediately, this is way more intense than what I was expecting! I thought this was gonna be cutesy, but this is straight up intense! I wonder how the eating portion of the story will tie into--

ah.

Gotta say, this style is one of my favorites. This is such a simple yet expressive way of drawing characters, distinguishing them and yet keeping it mildly realistic! It’s a delight to see. 

The resource scarcity realism is.,.. impressive. I wonder if the author based it off of a specific videogame or a ttrpg? I know TTRPGs aren’t huge in Japan, but this really does have fantastically recognizable RPG vibes. 

This is great, but I have to comment on the fact that (unsurprisingly) this is such a Japanese array of foods. It reminds me of an izakaya menu. Specifically the ‘thick-cut bacon’ bit - what is called ‘bacon’ in Japan is not bacon as Americans know it. It’s the same cut of meat, but it’s not cured nor smoked... It’s simply HAM. 😂 

Shockingly, I really can sense that these guys are friends with just a few pages.

What do you mean ‘noo’??? It’s literally a giant ass mushroom 

I think I can honestly this this is the point at which I realized I might just love Laios. 

you may not like it, but this is the ideal man. rabid and ready to cook anything he finds at a moment’s notice. 

IT’S A WOK. I THOUGHT IT WAS A SHIELD. HE’S CARRYING AROUND A POT ON HIS BACK. Incredible.11/10

I do so appreciate the seasoned-adventurer energy here. She straight up said ‘oh huh this thing killed me once before! a traumatic memory! neat!’ and then got right back to it. 

Never have I wanted to create a character based around this whole concept more than I do now. 

oh I SEE. 😂

[cringefaecompilation]

there's been something that's been eating at me.

look at early mn and watch them all be so anti-anything leading them into conflict that they couldn't easily weasel their way out of, crack jokes about stopping the adventure and becoming sharecroppers, and how matt had to force them into caring about the war and the people it impacted (one of which being a player's husband) instead of ignoring it to do anything literally else.

and this carries on even after they're thrown into the thick of it. from handwaving away all of what essek did for the sake of "well, he's nice to us! and it happened so long ago it'd be pointless and hypocritical to hold him to that!" (which, you know, not how that works but sure) and pushing off dealing with the cerebus assembly until the very last episode, every single conflict the nein had was only relegated to them and their personal struggles. tharizdun and cognouza were really cool as apocalyptic monsters, but we only figured out their importance after the fact or in an exposition dump!

and this is what the mighty nein is praised for! they're praised for steamrolling over every single possible conflict they could encounter unless matt made it mandatory because of ashley's schedule or the baileyham's baby! so of course when the next campaign rolls around and the fandom is asked to look deeper into the world asides from the character's personal lives, they get upset.

and i'm not saying that it'd be superior if they were more objective or went with less character-based decisions or storylines as opposed to plot based decisions that impact the politicial discussions of exandria first and foremost. heck, it annoys the HELL out of me when characters i like in c3 are nothing but objective and refuse to budge on it (if you know you know) or when they stop to talk about lore stuff for too long! i love the silly feel-good vibes of the nein that're light on story and heavy on characterization!

but it does feel weird that people look at c3's less-than-wholly optimistic plotline where the status quo is directly questioned and insist it's forcing the series into new waters it was not built to tread when no, it's always been there. you just never found it pertinent to interact with because the players never took those routes, and were incurious after the fact.

when matt says he plans to make the animated series of the mighty nein far darker and more political, i can't help but wonder if the fans will reject it outright.

(obligatory disclaimer that YES i'm frustrated that there seems to be no other option for bell's hells than to get that salty codger's moon hijinks dealt with and not a single loose end left over and THEN they can finally do stuff they want and have downtime without being reminded that they gotta stop him every other sentence and they're all clearly dying to get to that point... but there was sledding on a wok, and making dresses out of cocktail shrimp for a zombie rat, and spin the bottle too. to act like they're completely flat little npcs running to the next objective marker over and over and have no silly character moments is plain wrong.)

[jttw-monkeybusiness]

Ok. Favourite foods of the gang. I know Pigsy Loves Watermelon but I gotta know for everyone else.

Oh man, this is a fun question! ✨ Sandy LOVES red beans on desserts! Mooncakes, buns, or just red beans. Simple things make this man happy. Tripitaka loves Chinese pears! Before taking a first bite he gives a small prayer for Buddha as a thanks for letting him enjoy something so delicious today. I don't blame him tho, Chinese pears are expensive in Finland but man...one of my favorite fruits on this planet! Wukong loves fruits and salty things but his favorite rice crust! Chinese people usually used a big wok to steam rice. After the rice is ready, there was always a layer of crunchy rice crust clinging to the wok. That's the stuff he likes even tho it's very simple! Give a little seasoning and make it salty and he loves it! Sophie has many things that she loves but when she started her journey she fell in love with Yumberries and Lychees! It was something she never tasted or even seen before until Wukong one day shared some of it with her one night. Where did he get them? We might never know but he definitely didn't pay for those.

[auckie]

Ok no actually I wanna hear your Trader Joe’s opinions I’m really into the orange strawberry banana juice, the bruschetta sauce, the cranberry lime juice sparkling water and cinnamon schoolbook cookies

You and I agree on the CLSW (cranlime sparkling), haven’t tried the others but I’ll look into them. The normal lime one is also amazing on its own, as well as a mixer for both alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks. Summer must!

There’s so much shit I’m obsessed with, I’ll try and list the most important ones

English crumpets

Mango kefir

Brown sugar oat creamer

Chocolate oat milk

Simpler wines brand sparkling white canned wine

Pfeffernüsse

Chocolate babka

Brioche sliced bread

Danish Kringle

Pinks and whites shortbread cookies

Joe Joe’s gluten free classic Oreo knock off cookie

Madras lentils (boxed kind is good too)

Canned giant baked beans in tomato sauce

The non joes brand oat milk coffee and kombucha but you can get those anywhere

Their candles, two in one grapefruit mint hair wash (I despise two in one products but this one doesn’t foam and is more of a cleansing conditioner I use in between shampoo and regular conditionings), and many other non food items. I’ve bought their towels, seasonal decor (usually those felt garlands), face lotions and oils. Loved all of them. Usually I only restock on the lotion, hand soap, and lavender laundry bags. Their detergent is nice tho, and I’ve also gotten their wool laundry balls but you really only ever gotta buy them like once. They also usually have pretty cute cards at the checkout! I like their cheaper flowers too, but there’s also a lot of very cute seasonal items they carry that I just can’t justify buying bc of price (have you seen their felt sunflowers? So adorable)

Simpler times potato chips

Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snack

Fruit leather bars

Dried orange rings

Lox (labeled as smoked salmon iirc)

Both their Tunisian and kalamata olive oil

Vodka sauce

Roasted red pepper and tomato canned soup

Canned vegetable soup

Gone bananas chocolate covered frozen bananas (gone berry crazy strawberries are good too but like a dollar or two more expensive)

Jasmine rice in the frozen isle

Lime popsicles

Steak and stout meat pie

Pastry Bites Feta Cheese & Caramelized Onions

Canned tuna*

*especially with the gluten free microwaveable mac n cheese (I’m not gluten free if you’ve noticed, I literally just prefer some of their gluten free products. Same with the oat milk. I’m not lactose free but I just really like it)

Most of the frozen wontons I’ve tried

Chimichurri rice (goes great with the aforementioned roasted red pepper box soup, and chopped onions, green peppers, and spinach cooked in a wok)

Chicken sausage

Butternut squash gnocchi, iirc the potato gnocchi is good too

Most of their dried pastas

Almond and chocolate filled frozen croissants

The bars of chocolate you find at the check out that come in packs of threes

The weird meat sticks at the checkout too

Frozen hashbrowns

For whatever reason, their frozen green beans and asparagus is so much better than other generic brands I’ve tried

Any of the canned olives but esp the kalamata

Sun dried tomatoes

The produce is okay, a little pricey but they had brown Mexican tomatoes once that fucked hard. The herbs trustworthy too but really where is it not

Any of their chocolate covered nuts

Their fucked up chocolate covered chips, sometimes found in their snack mixes

Peanut butter pretzel snacks

Their dried seaweed isn’t my fav, but it’s not bad. I think it’s overpriced tho but tbf I usually get huuuge, less flavored packs from Costco

Pine nuts but good Gd are they expensive

They have cute, weird heirloom hybrid squashes during the fall a lot too that are pretty tasty

Things I’ve gotten from there that I hated? I didn’t like their orange chicken, ANY of the cereals I’ve gotten from there oddly enough, their pecorino Romano only comes grated and mixed iirc and I didn’t care for it. Some of their beers have made me scowl but also those are all random brands. But their wine (yes, even SHAW. But shoutout to coco bon red blend and blue fin moscato RIP!) has never does me wrong…except for any other flavor of the simpler wines canned ones. I can only do the sparkling white and literally no else I've forced to drink it has liked it! some of their salads have done me wrong. the canned chickpeas and dolmas were off. and some of their pricy juice mixes left me a bit disappointed.

[n0ncooll2]

TIME FOR “JARED HAS AIDS”

ok episode starts with main 4 besides Kenny who has passed away prank calling city wok notice how all the boys do this not just cartman so then butters comes along and Stan says hi Kenny and then butters says again that he doesn’t wanna be called Kenny because he butters which again all the boys do ad about Jared coming to South Park next thing you know the boys are in Jareds office where he said he lost a lot of weight using aids which the boys mistake for hiv instead of people and then Kyle gives a lecture on how he’s lying to people which in my opinion is kinda like him lying to people that cartman is hitler in a nutshell to be popular at school and then cartmans has an idea to do the same thing as Jared but with city wok and use butters and all the boys agree so then butters being smart says like Jared? and then they said yes and then smart butters says you just insulted Jared why would I want to be him and then Kyle stops smiling for one second and then when the boys start persuading he smiles again bro has no morals so then they fatten butters up fast forward and they go through with the idea and now they talk business cartman estimates four million dollars and says it should be split evenly but cartman gets a bit more because he came up with it and then the day they’re supposed to shoot the and butters is still fat so then they insult and remember all 3 not just cartman and Kyle even say “why are you doing this to us” LOL bro is using his “friend” and practically torturing and has the nerve to and then they try to do a fucking surgery with only a knife may I say the there’s no laughing gas either and Kyle’s the directing guy with the book on how to do it and whenever butters advises against it or says he’s not feeling good they just say shut up you should’ve lost the weight or something and then butters parents come home and the boys run and leave butters to get grounded so then the boys come back and try to convince butters to go and butters finally puts his foot down and then they gaslight him into doing it and then they get to city wok and the owner declines because everybody hates Jared so they did this all for no reason and then when everybody’s gonna kill Jared Stan being the leader says come on guys we gotta sort this out and then they do just that so when everybody’s happy they go through the city wok transaction and get like 4 dollars

This rant is to prove that most of the South Park characters are assholes NOT JUST CARTMAN

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #87

I'm still going to procrastinate talking about ACEs. Though it's not because I'm too terribly frightened of writing about it at this moment; I have a vague plan about where I wanna start. No, today I'm procrastinating because Br is visiting my house for today!!! And this is the greatest thing ever all by itself, but!!! She brought over a thing called "Cream of Rice"!!

It is basically a box full of rice that has been ground into a fine powder, with vitamins and minerals added. I had never seen anything like it before!

Br prepared the cream of rice on the stovetop in my trusty wok with milk, salt, and butter! Then we put almond butter, blueberries, and sliced bananas in it! And I gotta say, the resulting stuff was SO AWESOME that we ate it all up before I even thought to take a picture for you. I'm sorry. I'll work on that.

At my house, we tend to get giant 50-pound (22.5-ish kilograms) bags of medium-grain rice (it's almost, but not quite like short-grain rice, which is the typical rice in Japan), which has a different texture and consistency than the typical rice that is available in the United States; I assume if I grind up this rice into a fine powder, it will have a slightly different consistency than the ground rice in the box.

…Oh right. You probably have no idea what my world looks like, so words like "United States" and "Japan" likely mean nothing to you. That probably doesn't seem very fair, given that I know very well what yours looks like by now. Here, let's fix that; you can use this to see how my planet is shaped:

I live somewhere around here…

...And Japan is over here:

…Unless your planet is comprised mostly of massive, giant oceans, I think your planet must be a lot smaller than mine. It seems likely that this would also mean that your gravity is weaker than ours. And since your planet still has stunning sunsets (despite the fact that your atmosphere is probably a lot smaller, if your planet is smaller, which means the light gets bent/filtered less), I assume your atmosphere must be a bit more dense than ours, too. And these factors combined might explain why you all can have such crazy-looking flying machines that would absolutely not be possible in my world. But I digress…

Anyway! So sometimes I like to make rice pudding in my handy-dandy rice cooker with regular ol' medium-grain rice; it's got a stickier consistency than the usual rice that's available here, which makes for AMAZING pudding! But with this new "discovery" (haha!) of powdered rice and knowing full well of its deliciousness, my mind filled with ALL SORTS OF POSSIBILITIES, oh my goodness!!

…So I took my medium-grain rice and used my handy-dandy spice grinder (got it as a prize at an old job I had!) to grind it into very fine powder! Here…

So then, I went and measured out two cups of the rice powder with my handy-dandy rice cup!

Then I filled the rice cooker with milk, up until the "2" line for white rice. After that, it's 1 tbsp of butter for each cup of rice! Easy peasy!

Once the rice is done cooking, you're supposed to add heavy cream and sugar - 2 cups of heavy cream and half a cup of sugar, in any case. But… well… it got weird:

It seems like the increased surface area of the rice, combined with the sticker consistency of short-grain rice, yielded a kind of… weird sort of rice cake? I broke it into pieces, but it's still pretty clumpy. It's not ready for sugar and heavy cream yet. After tasting some of it, it was pretty good, but I concluded that it was still a bit undercooked. So I added a bit more milk (I didn't measure; sorry...) and stirred it until it stopped being absorbed, and then added a little more milk after that, and I am putting the heat on it again as I'm writing this; hopefully that should soften any remaining clumps, but we'll see! I've never worked with powdered rice before, and I have no idea what to expect! Kitchen adventures! Now we wait for the rice cooker to beep!

That said, I am wondering if the nature of powdered rice makes it necessary to stir it continuously while cooking so that it doesn't clump like this. I imagine a wok and a whisk might be the thing to do for future iterations of "Cream of Rice Pudding". Also, Br brought some masala chai teabags in addition to the cream of rice, so I wonder what it would be like to cook the powdered rice with brewed masala chai and a little bit of honey instead of just milk or just water. I'm eager to find out!!! But not today! Next time!

...Okay! So the rice cooker beeped and is done, so I stepped away from writing to check it out, and!! Oh!! It turned out REALLY WELL. So I added the cream and sugar, and this was the result:

So, I think due to chemistry, physics, and surface area, next time I'll need to fill the rice cooker to the 3 line, or maybe even to the 4 line, for 2 rice cups full of powdered rice. From there, it's business as usual - 2 cups of heavy cream and half a cup of sugar. At Br's suggestion, I sprinkled in just a pinch of pink salt into my bowl (pink salt has iron in it!), and the result was EVEN BETTER. I wanna eat another bowl because it was THAT GOOD, but I know that if I do, I'm gonna end up feeling sick, so I'll make use of my impulse control skills and delayed gratification skills instead, even though that's really hard.

It's very tasty and VERY filling; I wish that I could give you a bowl of it. The fact that I cannot give you bowls filled with delicious things continues to be a source of very real grief for me. But it is what it is. I can only hope that my intentions reach you somehow, and that through this you can learn about all the awesome snacks and make them for yourself someday, as impossible as that probably is...

Well. My being here to begin with seemed like an impossibility at one point. So maybe I'll try to keep an open mind. Maybe I'll imagine that all these wonderful flavors and all these wholesome feelings can reach you and move you, somehow...

...Somehow...

Hey Sephiroth? I'm glad you're here, even if I can only know of you in an abstract sense. I'm glad you're here, even if you're just an art form. Even though you've been through so much stuff, and even though your heart and your mind probably hurt a lot right now... still I'm glad you're here. So please keep trying to learn about the kind and gentle things. Please keep seeking out the beautiful and loving things. And please try to make good choices so that no one else has to get hurt.

I love you and I'll write again tomorrow, so please stay safe out there.

Your friend, Lumine

[princesscolumbia]

Code of Ethics - Chapter 17 - Hyperarousal

The last few days have been a bit more stressful than anticipated, which actually worked quite well to create the emotional payload for this chapter, but due to the distractions of preparing for my kiddo going into surgery (scheduled, we've known this was coming for over a year), I'm not entirely sure it's up to my usual quality. Hopefully, this lands well and I won't have to redo it later:

Diane finishes the task of driving off the slavers while her team rescues the slaves. The aftermath promises to be an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions.

Preview below the cut, and same warnings as last chapter, gore tag applies:

Diane felt like she’d chugged an entire vending machines worth of energy drinks.

Katrina had directed her to a four-way corridor junction that, sure enough, was where two main arteries of traffic converged. The halls were wide, which gave her plenty of room to maneuver even if they provided absolutely no cover.

Twenty bodies later, she’d barely been nicked by one lucky shot once the slavers got smart and began using cover. That was okay, though, because that gave her the chance to figure out an interesting feature of the rifles; they had a function that turned them into low-yield grenades.

Sure, it would normally have been a waste of a perfectly good rifle with a nearly full charge...but thanks to the moronic first charge of the security grunts she had twenty more rifles to play with.

A little bit of instruction from Katrina once she’d discovered the user’s manual in the slaver’s ship’s database and Diane had managed to trigger the safety release on the explosive feature and lobbed the weapon down one of the corridors and just past the corner the guards were hiding behind. She heard a gruff voice bark a swear word over the whine of the overcharging power cell just before it detonated, eliminating one group of guards and letting her focus on the second. She turned and sprinted in the opposite direction of the corner she’d just blown up and stooped on the run to grab up another rifle. Pulling the trigger a couple times to ensure it was working, the two bolts she’d fired splashed harmlessly against the deck paneling down the hallway where she’d aimed it. Ignoring the test shots, she increased her speed until she judged she was close enough to the junction of corridors and leapt into a baseball slide. It wasn’t a perfect slide, her coat was so matted with blood by this point it was more of a sticky glide that left a trail, but it still did the job of getting her close to the cluster of guards around the corner and opening fire, peppering them liberally with energy shot.

“You know, Kat,” she said as she picked herself up from the trail of gore she’d left behind, “If it weren’t so sticky, this would actually be kind of fun.”

“Gotta love what you do, boss. Careful, you’re going to run out of slavers before your team manages to get all the women and girls off the ship.”

Another spike of rage lit her insides as the assistant confirmed multiple children were being sold into slavery and her claws came out almost of their own accord. Just then a crew member rounded the corner, one carrying a significantly bigger gun than the previous guards had, and before he even realized she was there she’d slashed him belly-to-neck and made an extra effort to rip out his throat. He hadn’t even had a chance to cry out before she gutted him.

Once again she found herself absolutely feeling like the coolest person on the planet as she simply...grabbed the larger rifle out of the guards hands as he fell. She didn’t have time to do more than feel impressed with herself as two more guards followed behind. With one hand occupied she acted mostly on instinct and jammed her fingers into one guard’s neck with a knife strike and lunged forward and sank her fangs into the other’s neck.

It wasn’t the taste of blood or even the warm fluid in her mouth that snapped her out of her near berserker state, it was when some of the liquid splashed down her windpipe, forcing her to cough that shook her hard enough she more on accident shredded the man’s throat in her paroxysms. She leaned forward, one hand on a knee while she used the un-investigated long gun as an impromptu cane, jamming the butt against the floor as she hacked and sputtered.

“Why the FUCK did I do that?!” she exclaimed as soon as she was able to draw enough breath, spitting alien blood from her mouth.

“Maybe expectorate later, boss, you’ve got incoming, looks like they’re taking you seriously, too. 34...no, 38 goons on their way to take you down.”

Grumbling, she straightened and inspected the weapon she’d grabbed off the dead guard. It seemed to just be a bigger, more dangerous looking version of the rifles she’d been taking off their person and realized they’d been using carbines for their standard response team carry. That made more sense than this thing, which had a much longer barrel and a bigger battery...until she spotted a fairly heavy looking casing that she couldn’t immediately identify.

As she started moving, she asked, “Kat, any reason I shouldn’t ditch this in favor of the carbines?”

“Two phrases, two words each,” chirped Katrina through the comms panels nearby, “Dual rails and auto-aiming.”

Katrina’s pronouncement made her realize she wasn’t holding an energy rifle, she was holding a railgun. A double-barreled railgun at that. Auto-aiming would be nice, but if it had fully automatic capability... “Kat, find out how we can get more cartridges for this thing,” she said as she slung it over her shoulder to carry it on her back, “Idiot who was carrying it clearly didn’t realize you don’t bring a long gun to an urban combat setting.”

Read the rest on Scribblehub

[zapsoda]

quick and easy peasy fried rice type recipe:

ingriedients:

shitty leftover plain rice. i mean it. dont make fresh rice for this its not worth it.

soy sauce

a couple eggs (feel free to use more or less im not your mom)

sriracha or other hot sauce (optional)

whatever vegetables you have lying around (i had some ancient raw broccoli that smelled a little strange, sliced onions, and sliced tomatoes)

whatever precooked meat you have in the fridge (judge me if you want, i used sliced pepperoni, im sure bacon would be better)

salt/pepper/garlic powder. you can use seasoning mixes if you want, some cajun shit might be good. i found ranch seasoning in the pantry and added some if that.

oil/butter/grease

frying pan or wok that will fit all this shit

cheese (optional)

kimchi (optional) (it would be really really good though) (i didnt have any at the moment though so i didnt use it T_T)

steps:

grease pan with whatever lubricant you chose to use and let it heat up, i turned it up to high cause im impatient, but you probably shouldnt do that. go for like medium-high.

roughly chop your vegetables and meat if you want to. if you wanna put em in whole its not my problem but i think that would be gross.

season the vegetables with whatever you chose to use. salt is not optional if they are not already salted.

add those to the pan. this is also the point at which kimchi would go in. you can also add the meat now if you want to. if you dont, add it with the eggs.

once those have been sizzling up a little bit (really up to you as long as you dont burn em) crack your eggs in the pan and scramble em really fast so they dont fry. add the meat if you havent already

whenever the stuff in the pan gets too dry, add your soy sauce

once the eggs have cooked a bit (i.e. not glistening with wet egg goop) add the rice and stir it all around. if you have not added soy sauce up until this point, do that.

now you just gotta mix it up honestly. soy sauce it to your hearts content, add hot sauce or cheese as you please. when you feel in your soul that it is done, it is done, and ready to be served.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

merman uriah getting crispy fried in a giant wok

I gotta know ... Is this all the same body horror anon? A mad scientist (affectionate) who wants to tamper with guys in ways yet undiscovered?

[magnoliamyrrh]

i like how days ago i was like oh i gotta like make the best outta this and like get out too and use my time and -

and then for 2-3 days my health has hit me like a wok in the head again and i feel like a useless bedbound worm