#i get to eat a big pancake :D

[chelseasdagger]

:O

[6rookie-writer0110]

Request - Barry (grant) SFW alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Barry is always affectionate with you. When he is happy and flirty, he would have his arms around you. He would tell you how good you look and he kissed your face, lips, and neck. There would be some PDAs in public.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You and Barry started as friends at first. It took him a while to ask you out. Every time he tried he would be nervous and something would come up.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He would always cuddle with you. You would feel safe in his arms. When you are sleeping he would like to hold you. But he does like it when you hold him and play with his hair.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Barry would definitely want to settle down. He uses his speed to help you clean the apartment. Barry does enjoy baking pastries with you. He isn't a good cook, but he won't mind trying to cook something for you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Barry would break up with you, even if it means you won't get hurt when he is the Flash. First, he would lie to you why he won't be with you.

You and Barry didn't talk for months. But he would try to win you back no matter what.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

Barry doesn't have a problem with committing to you. He is madly in love with you and he will tell you that he doesn't want anyone else.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Barry will do anything to make sure you feel okay emotionally and physically. You do the same with him. He would want you to open up to him so he can help you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

You and Barry do hug each other.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Barry said it first in the fourth month of dating.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

It would be obvious when he is feeling jealous, because of his facial expression. At first, he won't admit it but later on, he would admit why he felt jealous.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

You and Barry are always kissing each other. You like it when he kisses your head or forehead and you would do the same for him. He always smiles big when you kiss him

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

You and Barry are still talking about it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Barry would try to have breakfast with you every morning. He would buy your favorite food for breakfast or he would make pancakes for you. But before breakfast, he would want to cuddle in bed a bit longer.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

You and Barry would have dinner then maybe watch a movie or play a board game together. Some nights, you and Barry would go out and have fun with the team flash.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You and Barry do open up to each other but not in one night. As time went on, you and Barry kept opening up to each other.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Barry would try to hide his anger but he would yell.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

You and Barry do remember the small stuff about each other. He knows your favorite snacks to eat while watching a movie. You know his favorite burger and milkshake flavor while he watches his favorite action movie.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first kiss. It started to snow when he first kissed you

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Barry is very protectvie of you. He will do anything to keep you safe and make sure no one would hurt you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Barry puts a lot of effort into dates and buying gifts. Besides affection, he shows love with gifts. He would make you feel special and feel loved. You would surprise him with gifts and he would say ‘How did you know?’

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He changes the timeline.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Barry would tell you how good you look. But he likes to keep his style simple and the same clean-cut haircut.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Barry hates it when you are angry and avoiding him. You would go days without talking to him but he would want to talk it out.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who cheats.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Barry sometimes does snore. But sometimes, you and Barry would fight over the blanket. When he isn't feeling stressed out, he would fall asleep fast. But most times, he would sleep in his briefs.

[the-anime-enthusiast]

today is Iida's birthday !!!! maybe some drabbles/headcannons about what it would be like to celebrate with him :3?

TENYAS BDAY‼️‼️

headcannons and drabbles 😜

for everyone else who has requested stuff and I haven't replied, I'm so sorry 😭 I just moved 4 states away from home by myself and I've been busy ASFFF but I'm finally starting to get some free time again so pls be patient with me, I appreciate it 🙏

GIFT IDEAS 🎁

Okay so this first one is oddly specific, but every time I go on my own personal Tenya Iida bend, I alwaaayyyss think of this. My fav "perfect gift for him" idea is a pair of glasses (stick with my now), but not just any pair, a pair with his hero name

"Ingenium"

engraved in the side‼️ It may seem kinda dumb cause hes got like, idk a bagillion pairs of glasses, but these are perfect for special occasions and we all know he prefers the finer things in life so I think he's love this 😌😌 (possibly sheds tears bc he loves his brother like it's nobody's business and he feels the weight of this gift in his soul, ong)

My favorite gag gift ideas all come down to one thing, oranges. (ifykyk but de I will still explain) So, as a lot of Tenya fans know, his quirk uses oranges/orange juice as the fuel for his engines (no I'm not lying, it's random ik, his family has so many random traditions and small details thrown into the show, I love them sm 💞)

Like many people, I love gag gifts, and I would have a field day with this. I'm talking sunglasses shaped like oranges, bottles upon bottles of assorted orange juice, Sunny D merch, the whole nine yards. While this HC is made to be a gag gift, I think he would actually lose his shit over this, like best gift he's ever received type shit. He'd keep a specific shelf on his bookshelf for all things orange you get him (like a shrine or sm shi 💀) It def weirds ppl out when they don't know the story behind the shelf, but he loves it 😌👍

Another gag gift idea I love 😋 (okay so rq)

fun fact Abt me: I'm in mechanics and I js know bro would eat up auto mechanics related gag gifts Soo much 😭😭

Like cleaner for his mufflers, car oil (strictly for shits and giggles) js dumb shit like that 😭 Again, definitely has a stash/shrine for all this stuff, everytime you tell him he can get rid of it

"it was just a joke tenya, you know you don't have to keep it right?"

"well dear, it could come in handy one day! You never know ☺️"

Spending the Day Together 💞

Bros prim and proper, if your lucky, you wake up before him. It's no secret that appreciates the finer things in life (and the small things, atp he appreciates literally everything. Tenya is an angel sent from heaven and don't you forget it ✋) But if you decide to wake this man up to some bomb ass breakfast, I'm talking bacon, eggs, possibly pancakes, and ofc a big ass glass of orange juice he WILL tear up. I know deep in my soul he's an emotional (or at least dramatic) gift reciever.

I feel like his birthday would actually be a pretty average day, other than the morning and night. He ofc wants to have breakfast with you, whether it's cooking or the two of you going out, but he makes a NIIGHT out of his birthday. Y'all are doing it all don't even play ✋ Anything he could think of that you would also enjoy, is going on the list. (ofc there's a list, this is Teny Iida were talking Abt 🙄🙄)

There happens to be a festival near by? ✅

Oh your in a town known for it's street foods? Take a wild guess where your going. ✅

Open Business Shack street strip? You're walking that thing about 50 times. ✅

Art Museums. Movies. Live Music. Wining and Dining. Walks in a Park. Walks on the beach. Hero conventions. Literally any event near or on his birthday y'all are going to. You can try to plan all you want for him but he's got things mapped out before you ever thought possible. Something to be grateful for though, he doesn't mind it. He doesn't mind planning all of these things for HIS birthday because making you happy in the process is more than enough for him to get by (selfless baddie).

At the End of the Day 🌆

As much as I'd like to think, and we'd all like to think, that Tenya gets in a good amount of alone time with you at the end of his birthday, it just doesn't happen (ikik trust the process 😔)

After a long day of walking around the town, eating great food, spending way to much money on entrance fees to museums, gift shops, and that great food I mentioned, bros pooped (sry guys I'm js a girl and idk how else to word that with equal humor to that phrase 😔)

The second you walk through that door bags are crashing into the ground, shoes are being thrown across the room (not rly tho cuz u leave ur shoes by the front door 👍), clothes are being scattered across the living and bedroom. All bro wants to do is crash into his bed. He barely has time to out his night cap on 😔😔

It's slightly mundane but sweet because trust me ✋ After a day like the one he has planned y'all's bed sounds like heaven. I mean you can swear you hear the angels themselves singing to you once y'all slink into bed together, and honestly he wouldn't have it any other way. Spending an amazing day with his amazing partner, then getting into an even more amazing bed with said partner at the end of his lil adventure 💞

this is kinda on the short side, but it's late ash where I'm at and I'm tired asff BUT I FINALLY WROTE SMT AGAIN 😍😍 (praise God life was getting so boring) I hope y'all enjoy! I haven't been an iida girlie for awhile now but y'all are bringing it back 😜 (not to mention that one scene from the anime where it's class 1-A vs Deku and bros looking extra yummy) (slay) (pls don't come for me I'm 18 and have been watching this show since I was 12)(I'm also asexual so I'm not being weird I swear)(ik some of my reposts say otherwise but guys good writing is good writing what can I say 😭🙏)

Hope y'all have a wonderful night!

Lots of love 💞

BYYYEE ‼️‼️

[howlingday]

Jaune: Okay, girls. It's time for lights out.

RWBY: AAAAAAW~!

Jaune: Sorry, but we have a big day ahead of us. Tomorrow, we're gonna massacre Team CRDL & SSSNN~!

RWBY: YAAAAAY~!

Jaune: Goodnight, girls! Dream of winning~!

Jaune: (Steps out, Sighs)

Jaune: Ren... SEND OUT THE CAVALRY.

Ren: (Menacing)

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: Hey, CRDL~! Wakey, wakey~!

Cardin: What the-?! What's going on?!

Ren: Cardin, your butt smells like a butt.

Cardin: IT DOES NOT! You! Tell your team to wake up!

Scarlet: You're kidding, right? They're just trying to lure you out!

Cardin: Well, it's working! Get your team!

Scarlet: Cardin! It's clearly a trap!

Cardin: AND I'M FALLING FOR IT! GET THE TEAMS!

Scarlet: (Sighs, Walks to SSSNN) Hey, Sun. Wake up. We're going out to fight.

Sun: What? We haven't had breakfast yet.

Cardin: WE'RE SKIPPING BREAKFAST!

Sun: ...Is that allowed?

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Knock, knock~! Eat up, girls, because we're having pancakes~!

RWBY: YAAAAAY~!

--------------------------------------------------

Cardin: Hurry up! We gotta catch Arc's stupid team!

Cardin: HEY! Why'd you stop?!

Neptune: Dude, there's a freezing river in front of us!

Cardin: Well, then get your blue-haired keister (Shoves him) IN THE WATER!

Neptune: (Screams, Dragged to other side)

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Alright, girls! Make sure you lather up with this oil. It'll help insulate your body heat. AND it smells like lavender~!

RWBY: MMMMM~!

--------------------------------------------------

Cardin: There's Arc's stupid camp! Get ready to fight, Team!

Russel: D-Dude... I think the water from the river is beginning to ice over... I... I can't move!

Cardin: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you think being a huntsman would be fun? Sitting around a nice, hot campfire, playing truth or dare with your friends?

Cardin: WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: Truth.

Yang: Who do you like?

Blake: (Blushes) ...Sun~.

RWY: EEEEEEEW~!

Nora: We're back~!

Ren: And we brought Team CRDL.

Neptune: (Shivers with the rest of SSSNN, Passes out from hypothermia)

[exorcqism]

❛ INFINITY — 無限大

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso’s recurring dream starts to bother him and makes him depressed. wc, 2.17K. dark mode recommended

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (non-curse), mid 90s AU, nsfw, female anatomy, stoner!choso, mentions of suicide, possible sexual content, canon/modern lore mixes, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ GOOD stuff will happen in the next part i promise. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3

same tree, same bright sun, pure silence.

choso was under by a large tree in the park. a familiar area he’s seen more than he could count on both his hands and feet. he wore a white robe and a pair of brown boots. to him, it was an odd combination of clothing but he could get used to it.

for the first time in a while, his hair was pinned up in his two spiky buns, leaving his little bangs to hang above his head. choso’s eyes scanned around the empty field that was accompanied by a single picnic table. his slim eyebrows drawing together at the simple sound of grass being stepped on.

“brother,” he heard a voice call and then there was another voice. they sounded excited about his presence. his cheeks flushed a pink color as salty tears formed in his eyes, threatening to fall once he seen his two younger brothers before him.

the male’s hands trembled as he watched the two hold their arms out to him, waiting for him to join them. he always refused this offer, shaking his head quickly while tears poured down his cheeks. there was a reason why he refused.

“i miss you both, more than anything.” choso finally gave in. his arms were wrapped tightly around the males in front of him while he cried and finally flashed a genuine smile. but there was nothing. choso was lying in the grass, crying and laughing, not even realizing what had happened.

until he opened his eyes.

he felt something lightly poking his side while he eyes stared into nothingness with disdain. his small purple irises would peer behind him, meeting his little brother, yuji’s brown eyes.

“choso, i’m hungry,” he whispered as if he were trying not to wake the male up. as bad as choso wanted to shout, he swallowed and sat up.

“okay, just…gimme a minute, okay?” choso rubbed his eyes and slowly got out of bed. his hair was disheveled and he looked like he hadn’t slept. usually, he’d take his time and go do his hygiene but the most he could do was shower and brush his teeth.

after that, the male would grab a cigarette and light it as he grabbed a bowl from the cabinet to make pancakes. he took a glance at yuji, lifting the cigarette.

“don’t smoke. it’s not good for you.” he advised before taking a drag from it. yuji decided not to ask anymore questions. he would nod and sit with his brother in the kitchen as his breakfast was being made.

“you look tired,” yuji started, “are you okay, did you sleep?”

“yeah, i slept.” choso rasped before clearing his throat. “it’s normal to—feel tired after you just wake up. i’m going back to sleep after you eat.”

once the pancakes were finished, he’d place the plate in front of yuji and then a cup of chocolate milk shortly after.

“make sure you eat all of it. if you don’t want it put it in the microwave….or give it to me, i don’t care. just don’t waste it.” choso said. yuji nodded quickly, thanking choso as he seen the dark haired male traveling to the couch and putting his cigarette in the ashtray before turning over to sleep.

“big brother,” choso heard a familiar voice whisper. it had been about ten minutes into his catnap until he was interrupted by the voice. he shot up from the cushions of the couch, where his face was buried, sweating and panting until he noticed yuji.

“oh….”

“choso, are you okay? i was about to ask if i could go see megumi today. i’ll climb the fence to get there so i don’t have to go through the front door.”

“i…” all the male could do was stare at yuji in a daze. he was staring as if his little brother was talking gibberish. “uh…yeah, go ahead, just don’t hurt yourself.”

yuji smiled and hugged choso before running upstairs, seemingly to go change into some new clothes and pack some things to take with him next door. choso just let out a loud sigh.

hours went by quicker than expected. the neighbors next door letting choso know that yuji would be staying for a few days, only if it was okay with him. choso was still in a bit of a daze and he was starting to feel sick after drinking beers and smoking cigarettes instead of eating.

as he laid still, curled up on the bed, blood was starting to seep from the bandage over his nose, staining his pillow and part of his blanket. the male was too drunk to care though.

upon hearing his phone ringing, he slowly reached for it and answered, not bothering to check who was calling. pushing the device against his ear, he spoke.

“what?” he slurred.

your heart skipped a beat when you heard the male’s deep voice reverberate over the phone and back to you. a smile appears on your face, followed by a light blush.

“hey, you good?” you ask as you place your phone down on the vanity and reach for some nail polish and beginning to paint your fingernails.

“i’m-” choso hiccuped, “i’m really dizzy. and i got blood everywhere and i keep hearing stuff…”

you paused, furrowing your eyebrows, “um…do i need to come over? you don’t sound okay.” there was a silence over the phone before a long sigh was heard.

“no. don’t come over. i don’t like other people in my house. i’m so scared of people.” he groaned, his words still slurring. you shake your head, obviously concerned about his situation.

“no, i’m coming over, send your address.” you insist. “you sound sick and tired. i’ll bring you something to eat too. did you eat?”

“i…” he went quiet. “no…”

“oh my goodness,” you mumbled. you would stand up from your vanity and begin to get dressed, putting the nail polish in your pocket since you decided that you’d finish your nails at his place.

“i’m sorry…” he continued softly, his voice sounding a bit weaker than before. “are you still coming? i’ll send you my address like you asked.”

“yes, choso, i’m still coming. just relax…and go wipe your face if you can.” you say, pulling a coat over your shoulder and grabbing your house keys.

“okay…” you heard choso groan before hanging up.

you sighed, putting your phone in your pocket as you were exposed to the cold weather outside. snowflakes were falling and ice was starting to cover the ground. you head to your car and drive to a nearby fast food restaurant, getting choso and yourself something to eat.

your phone vibrates and you check to see what it is as you sit in the parking lot of the restaurant, eating a bit of your own food as you did. it’s from choso. ‘here’s my address..’

you put the address into your navigation and start to drive in the direction to where choso lived, sighing at the weather conditions periodically.

the door opens slowly when you arrive to choso’s place. he peeks out, eyeing you drunkenly before pulling the door open a bit more. you can see the blood streaming down his face while his eyes drooped downward and the black rings around his eyes darkened.

“you look a mess,” you sigh, pushing yourself through the door because you still didn’t have that much space to get through. you place the food down onto the kotatsu table in the living room and take choso by the hand to take him to the bathroom.

you clean the dry blood and the new blood from his face and trashed the bandage that he always had over his nose.

“you need to give it some air. that’s probably why it bleeds so much.” you say. “come on, let’s go eat.”

when you both made it back to the living room, you would sit down at the table and give choso his food, to which he stared at for a short moment before snapping out of it.

“thank you,” he whispered before silently eating his food. while he’s eating, you notice that he was dozing off and you were about to wake him but his head shot up. you gave a concerned look.

“are you sure you’re okay?” you ask.

“i’m fine,” he yawned before getting up to grab another beer. “you know that dream-” choso pauses to hiccup. “that dream i was talking about? it’s bothering me.”

he lights another cigarette and sits down with you again. “so, i decided to drown myself in alcohol and cigarettes until i die….i wanna see my brothers so bad.”

you quickly take the can of beer from him just after he takes a sip and held it close to you. choso just made a face as if he weren’t very fazed by your action.

“i expected that…”

“talk to me,” you query, “what about the dream that’s bothering you, is it that it’s repeating over and over again?”

“it repeats so much in my head that it drives me insane.” choso replies. “earlier i almost screamed at yuji because i was thinking too much and it made me nervous and upset. it’s hard to go to sleep because i can hear my brothers calling my name.”

choso stops talking, seemingly expecting you to add your input on the situation but you’re completely stunned. hearing him basically say he wanted to kill himself was bothering you enough.

you throw your arms around choso, disregarding the smell of alcohol mixed with cigarettes on his body. choso was looking down at you with his hair covering his eyes. hesitantly, he put his arms around you.

“please don’t hurt yourself over this,” you whisper. “i know it’s tough and it bothers you so much but your brothers wouldn’t want you to end your life for them…especially while you’re drunk. they’d want you to keep going. and who would take care of yuji?”

“i trust you to take him…he really likes you.”

“i can’t replace his brother.” you softly combated, your hand now rubbing his lower back, trying your best to comfort him. “talk to me choso. how did the dream go?”

“do you want me to…sleep?” he asked. you were expecting him to just recite what he remembered but you could tell he needed some shut eye anyway. you nod and let him lay on the couch.

again. the same thing over and over. it’s so vivid choso could feel the environment. he could feel a change if there was one. the cold hands of his brothers touching his face and their wispy voices filling his ears.

it’s a beautiful day. but he hates this day. for some reason it makes him happy. maybe it’s so twisted because he’s so intoxicated.

it happens again. he’s lying in the grass, crying and smiling with nothing beneath him. not even his brothers to hold onto him like they used to.

but he felt something finally put their arms around him. it made his tears fall faster and his face was hot.

“i feel horrible,” choso mumbled. “i’ve done too many attempts to die but they don’t work. why won’t it work?”

“it’s not your turn. keep going.”

his eyes opened and he was teary eyed all over again. you hugged him again and when he hugged you back, it felt more secure and alive than before.

“did you figure anything out?”

“i can’t throw my life away. not yet.”

you smile softly and you kiss his cheek, wiping his tears away as you did.

“don’t cry, you’re okay.” you whispered to him. the way choso was holding onto you, it seemed like he didn’t wanna let go of you.

later on that night, choso finally sobered up a bit, being able to handle himself instead of you carrying him around, giving him assistance. the two of you were lying on the bed together, talking about whatever came to mind to remove the tension in the room.

topics switched consistently from movies to what would it be like to be living someone else’s life who’s got it all together.

“are we like…a thing now?” choso asked you, his head turning slightly into your direction after blowing cigarette smoke up towards the ceiling.

you smile, “do you wanna be a thing?”

“uh…i don’t know, i never had a girlfriend…or talked to a girl before besides my teachers back in high school.” he said quietly. you giggled.

“look, let’s try it out and see how it goes. if it doesn’t go well, we can always be friends, okay?” you said in a suggesting tone. choso looked nervous.

“what if you don’t like it right away, what if it goes bad?”

you kissed him on his lips, quickly taking his breath away. his cheeks were hot and flushed. when you moved away from him, he looked like he had just seen stars.

“can you do that again?”

ending notes. OKAY SO ….apparently the desire disease did pretty good for its first part so i’ll write another part and see how that goes. if ya wanna be tagged for that, lmk. i’ll have another part for this up soon. uhhh sorry for any mistakes if i made any. bye byeee and remember;; reblogs and comments are appreciated

tags. 🏷️ 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ @sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3 @exinqiu @sex4vivienne

© EXORSIIAN | © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[tomatoswup]

"Can I get a-"

summary: Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! How may I take your order?

warnings/tags: crack!fic, legit just a crack fic, or aCTUALLY A CRACK!DRABBLE☝️☝️ mcdonalds propaganda, big breakfast and hash brown advocation, poor vash trying to work on a normal day, knives fist fighting a customer waffle house style, reader just wants their breakfast ;(

A/N: ....do i have to explain why i wrote this.....i found the whole mcdonalds au one of the funniest things the fandom could've come up with...it wasn't just a need it was a NECESSITY :D

"Order number 32!"

Ah yes, McDonalds at 7 in the morning, the beeps of the orders coming in, the beeping of the machines, and the bustling talking of the customers either sitting and eating or waiting for their orders.

McDonalds was a true staple of cryptic shopping for hunger.

But you could never get enough of their big breakfast and hashbrowns. And like a zombie, sometimes you found yourself in line some mornings before work.

But this morning seemed a bit...off.

"YOU'RE BURNING THE THE FUCKING HASHBROWNS WOLFWOOD!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

You couldn't help but watch a pancake fly in the air as you made your way to the counter. There, you were met with a kind faced worker, a cute one too! Peeking at his name plate that read "Vash", you gave him a soft smile, still feeling a bit tired.

"Hi! How can I help you?" He asked, returning the smile, the McDonalds hat on his head pushing down the tufts of blonde spikes of his, peeking under the hat.

But why was he wearing glasses? It was practically still dark outside...

"Hi, can I get a-"

"EXCUSE ME! WHY DID I NOT GET ANY LARGE FRIES!" Turning your attention to one of the customers right by you, both Vash and you jumped at the sudden slam of a receipt onto the counter to one of the other workers behind it.

A more pale, blonde man stood there, giving the rude customer one of the most stankiest faces you never thought some one could ever give.

If looks could kill, this man definitely could. He looked like he was about to jump over the counter and pounce on the man with the energy he was giving out.

Waffle House style.

"Err, sorry 'bout that.."Vash sweatdropped before looking back at you "What did you want to order?"

"Can I get uh-"

"JESUS FUCK MERYL DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FLIP A SAUSAGE?"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!? I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR 2 YEARS! YOU'RE THE NEW ONE!"

You took a step back when suddenly, you saw a flash of yellow flying towards the both of you.

WAS THAT AN EGG??

Oh fuc- "FUCK!" You shouted as you ducked, wait did you say duck? Or did you say fuck?

Looking back up, you saw pieces of egg hanging off the back of Vash's head as you put a hand over your mouth.

Oh noo...

"I'm so sorry-"

You got back up on your feet and leaned over to brush off the egg pieces from the back of Vash's head.

"And I thought today was gonna be a normal morning..." Vash exhaustingly sighed.

Suddenly, you heard a scuffle behind you, chairs moving and things toppling over.

What was going on!

Turning around, you watched as Nai fist fought the customer, chairs flying everywhere as Nai tackled the man into a table.

"HEY HEY KNIVES IS FIGHTING!!" You heard someone scream from the back before the influx of McDonalds workers came running from behind the counter, jumping over or going through the door entrance to aid him.

"GET HIS ASS KNIVES!"

"GET HIM OFF!"

"Oh we're getting sued..."

You couldn't help but just watch on, mouth agape at what just happened in the matter of 1 hour, before looking back at Vash, who kept his place behind the register, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

"I'm so so sorry...Honestly, I can give you a free apple pie because of all this..." He apologized, shoulders drooping down.

"Oh um, it's okay, really." You couldn't help but chuckle "Rough morning huh?"

Maybe you should come back another day.

...At least the cashier was cute..

[lionlena]

A perfect day for a perfect girl (PedroPascalxreader)

Okay, so this is a reward for @reniescarlett​  bc she is my 300th follower :D

Request from here.

I tried to make it really nice and sweet. Just one moment of uncertainty, but Pedro quickly dispels it.

Fluffffff

You felt soft kisses on your stomach and smiled. Without opening your eyes, you placed your hand on his head and buried your fingers in his hair.

"Pedro," you murmured.

"Good morning, Sunshine," he said and placed another kiss on your soft belly.

"Hmm, I'm still asleep," you replied, but you already knew you'd have to get up.

Pedro was sometimes like an impatient puppy. You suspected that he had been awake for at least an hour and impatiently waiting for you to join him. Actually, it would be a lie to say that you weren't excited either.

Today was your birthday and it was going to be a wonderful day.

There was going to be a little party tonight, nothing too crazy. You just wanted to have dinner with some of the closest people you loved and who loved you just the way you are.

Pedro obviously wasn't going to wait until the evening with all the nice things he had prepared for you.

You felt him move up your body and start kissing your collarbones: " Hermosa," he moaned.

You laughed and kissed his cheek muttering, "It's okay, I'm up."

You opened your eyes to meet his warm brown gaze filled with nothing more than love for you. He grinned widely and pecked your nose saying, "I'm waiting in the kitchen!"

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Sometimes you wondered where he got so much energy from. Maybe it was the amount of caffeine he drank.

When you got up, you noticed a path of rose petals and a pleasant warmth enveloped you. Pedro really set out to make your birthday special. You followed rose petals to the kitchen.

Pedro was standing at the table with a big smile on his face and fidgeting impatiently. As soon as you crossed the threshold he shouted "Happy birthday!"

He ran over to you and hugged you tightly.

You laughed at his behavior and smiled back at him. As he moved away from you, he led you to the table and pulled out a chair for you. He placed a plate of pancakes and sweet syrup in front of you. You raised your eyebrows in delight. You knew he must have put in a lot of effort in this and that he probably burned at least half of the pancakes, but it was still impressive. Soon a bowl of your favorite fruit, orange juice, and coffee were also on the table.

Pedro came behind you and kissed your head.

"Here," he said and set down a small box with a ribbon. "Open it."

You looked inside curiously and found a silver necklace with a pendant in the shape, of your favorite animal.

"Oh, Pedro... It's really too much."

"No," he replied quickly. "This is just the beginning. You are special and your birthday is supposed to be perfect."

You stroked his cheek and for a moment you just stared at his handsome face. Until finally he broke the silence: "Come on, eat. I thought after breakfast we'd watch a movie of your choice, and then maybe we'd lie down by the pool."

You nodded your head. "That sounds great, but remember we have guests tonight."

"Take it easy" he purred and stroked your hip. "I'll help you with everything."

As Pedro suggested, you sat comfortably on the couch after breakfast. You cuddled up to his side and together watched the movie you chose.

Later, he prepared snacks for both of you and you lay down by the pool. Pedro took the lotion and asked you to lie down on your stomach. He started rubbing the cream into your back and you closed your eyes and focused on the pleasure. His fingers perfectly located the points where you were tense. By the time he focused on your neck and shoulders, you were in heaven. You could spend all day like this, but you really wanted to see your friends.

You felt Pedro kiss you on the ear and purr, "What about are you thinking, honey?"

"I could spend eternity here," you replied.

"If you want, we can cancel everything."

"Oh no. I really want to see everyone and wear a new dress."

Pedro laughed and nodded. "Okay. We're doing whatever you want today."

You spent another hour by the pool, but it was finally time for you to start preparing dinner. Pedro, as promised, helped you with everything, and when you went to change, he started to prepare the table.

You took a quick shower, did your hair and makeup, and finally put on a new dress.

You looked in the mirror and lightly smoothed the fabric around your hips. You tilted your head slightly and bit your lip. You turned sideways and then heard his soft voice: "Sweetheart? Is something wrong?"

You lifted your head to look at Pedro, who was staring at you in awe.

"I don't know. Isn't that dress... Too short? Too small?"

He immediately shook his head and stood close to you, placing his hands on your waist. "You look stunning and... I'm mad?"

"What? For what?"

"Because you'll be torturing me with your looks all evening. Everything I will want will be to throw everyone out the door so I can have you all to myself!" He leaned in and started kissing your neck.

"Stop it" you squealed and slapped his chest.

"But, this is true" he groaned.

You smiled and cupped his face in your hands. "I love you, you know?"

"I know. I love you, cariño."

All your uneasiness vanished instantly as his brown eyes stared at you with such love and devotion. You were ready for a great evening.

Your friends have not let you down. They gave you wonderful, unique gifts and made the whole evening full of laughter.

Pedro was always close to you and gave you kisses at every possible opportunity.

When the last of your guests left, you started clearing the table, but then Pedro put his arms around you from behind and started to pull you away.

"Honey, what are you doing? I have to clean up."

"Uh, no, no..." he murmured. "It can wait until morning... Or a week... Whatever. All evening I thought I had to give you your last present."

You turned around in his arms and looked at him surprised. "What?"

"Me," he replied, and you started laughing. "You look so beautiful. Please, let me take you to the bedroom. If you make me, I will beg for it on my knees."

You snuggled into him and sighed. "You don't have to beg me..." You pulled away and grabbed his hand leading him toward the bedroom. "I really want to unwrap my last present."

Pedro started to laugh and you felt infinite happiness envelop you. It had been a great day, and apparently, the night was going to be just as amazing.

[allisluv]

I have no idea how to request this and this is so awkward sorry, but I wanted to ask you if you would be down to make a Peeta SFW alphabet?

of course! ps, if you meant a nsfw alphabet, i have one in the works <3

A= affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

peeta is very very affectionate. his love language is physical touch and gift giving, especially in the form of freshly baked cookies.

B = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

peeta is the most supportive best friend. he'll tell you straight out if he thinks you're in the wrong but he doesn't shame you for it. he would make the first move in your friendship (he's just too friendly and outgoing for me to expect anything less from him tbh)

C = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

peeta loves loves loves to cuddle. he would spend all day in bed with you if you gave him the chance. i think he likes being the little spoon more than anything in the world.

D = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

it's portrayed in the books that settling down and having kids is a big thing for peeta. he wants to have a family so having someone with views that align with his own is important for peeta. he's also the definition of a househusband. he loves cooking and cleaning while you just sit there and look pretty <3

E = Ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

peeta would do it in a very gentle, soft way. he never wants to hurt you, so even your breakup is done with lots of cuddles and temple kisses.

F = fiance (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

peeta is the type of man to get down on one knee when you have been dating for a week. he lives by the motto that when you know, you know and tomorrow's not promised, so he would want to get married fairly quickly, but he's willing to wait if you're not ready.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

peeta is such a gentle soul, both physically and emotionally. he's all tender touches and soft caresses and he's not afraid to wear his emotions on his sleeve

H = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

peeta loves hugs!!! he gives you at least ten hugs a day. his arms are wrapped around your waist, strong and sturdy, and he'll rest his chin on the top of your head <3

I = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word)

i actually think it takes peeta quite a long time to say i love you. its such an important thing to him and he wants to make sure he does it right.

J = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

peeta doesn't get jealous very often. i think he's quite secure in your relationship and he trusts that you wouldn't do anything to hurt him. on the rare occasion that he does get jealous, he sweeps in to your side and stakes his claim on you by kissing you in front of whoever was flirting.

K = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

peeta's kisses are slow and soft; he likes to take his time in everything he does and his kisses are no exception. peeta likes to kiss you on the forehead and he likes to be kissed on the cheek.

L = little ones (how are they around children?)

peeta can get any baby to settle with ease and he always lets the younger children win any games he plays with them.

M = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

mornings with peeta are spent with cuddles, kisses and pancakes with berries.

N = night (how are nights spent with them?)

nights with peeta are spent watching comfort movies and eating junk food (more than likely whatever didn't sell in the bakery that day).

O = open (when do they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

i think this really depends on how comfortable peeta feels with you. he typically wears his heart on his sleeve but there's a certain level of trust that comes with him opening up to you about both his family life and his trauma from the games, especially if you weren't a victor or a tribute.

P = patience (how easily angered are they?)

peeta is one of the most patient people you will ever meet in your lifetime. if you find it hard to convey your feelings, he sits there so patiently and waits until the words come to you. there's no rushing with him and he lets you take everything at your own pace.

Q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

peeta remembers everything all too well (yes that's a taylor reference sue me!). he remembers the little things and he's very attentive like that.

R = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

i think the thing that would stick out to peeta the most is the first time you said you loved him. it's just such a sweet moment that is engraved in his brain.

S = Security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

peeta's quite protective over you especially after the horrors he's seen in both the capitol and the games. he likes to be close to you, not in a possessive way but just so he knows you are safe. i think cuddling and playing with his hair helps him feel protected.

T = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

peeta is an avid planner, from what he wears that day to what he eats before bed. he plans out all of your anniversary / birthday gifts weeks in advance. he also loves it when you let him do things for you, even if it’s something as simple as brushing your hair before bed. it just makes him feel warm inside.

U — ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

peeta bites his nails and snores.

V — vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

peeta couldn’t care less what he looks like. im not sure if this counts, but i do think he worries about people noticing his limp with his prosthetic leg but apart from that, he’s not vain.

W — whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

peeta would rather die than be without the people he loves and that’s the god honest truth.

X — xtra (a random headcanon for them)

peeta loves pickle flavoured ketchup.

Y — yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like in a partner?)

nothing! peeta believes that if you love someone, their flaws and bad habits are included.

Z — zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

he sleeps on his back and snores like a truck.

[michellymy]

Yet another backstory!

AO3 / Wattpad

9 Y - 0 M - 4 D

“I want that squirrel.” Ethan pointed at the tree that was triple his height.

His mother took off her sunglasses, searched for the animal between the leaves, and analyzed her little boy.

“You’ll get your clothes dirty.”

“I can wash them later.”

She saw the squirrel far away, really far away, holding a nut and moving its nose. Such an ugly creature…

“Do you want to eat that?”

“It’s not for eating! It is to be my pet!”

“Pet?” She frowned and leaned on. “Is there a special reason for this?”

“Because Tony is small, and it will be cool to chase him there!” Ethan put his hands together. “Please, mum, can I have it?!”

She looked up and down at his new outfit: polo shirt, shorts over his knees, led shoes, and, lastly, his puppy face.

Fragile. And extremely cute.

She sighed. “Yes, you can, but go slowly so you don’t fall.”

“Alright, mum! I love you!” said him, already running at the tree.

He arrived at the base and checked if he was in the same direction as Tony. The squirrel didn’t move at all, so it would be easy to catch him!

Hugging the tree, Ethan put a foot on a bump, and pushed his body up. He gripped the next branch, tested if it held his weight, then pushed up again.

He kept doing it, slowly as his mother told him to, until the largest branches finally arrived. It was the hardest part: to get over there; but Ethan could see Tony just at the edge, and he wouldn’t stop now that he was this close.

Placing his hands in minor areas, he managed to get his torso over. To get his legs up as well, he just had to drag himself on the branch and… ta-dah! He was safely sat!

The squirrel was still with its nut, trying to open it with big teeth. It made Ethan smirk. Tony was kinda similar to Sam in appearance; would they like to meet each other? Ethan was certain they would, so he should hurry.

He moved subtly to not scare Tony, just like his mum did in other times. It would probably work with him, too, if he did the exact same thing.

“Hi, Tony,” he whispered. “Do you wanna go to my house? There’s a lot of food there.”

He showed his hand to the squirrel, who stared for a long time before approaching. His tiny paws let go of the nut and touched Ethan’s hand, as if searching for something.

“Hey, this tickles!” Ethan giggled and squirmed as Tony traveled his arm and shoulders, stopping over his head. “What are you doing there? Is it comfortable?”

Ethan could feel the squirrel pulling his hair, then going still as if he found the perfect spot. After realizing he was ready, the boy put the nut in his pocket.

“Now, we just gotta get down and…” He froze.

When did he get that high?

His body tensed as he looked down for the first time. No way he could jump from this height; he’d turn into a pancake! What could he do?! What could he do?!

He hugged the branch, looking for his mother who was just a minuscule red point on the green.

“Mum!” he called, but she didn’t move. “MOMMYYYY!”

Tony squeaked and left in a rush, jumping on Ethan’s legs and causing more screams.

“NO, TONY! DON’T RUN!” Ethan wanted to catch the squirrel, but his body was locked. “COME BACK, PLEASE!”

Yet the squirrel disappeared in the leaves, totally forgetting about the promises of food and new home. Ughhh, what a traitor!

Ethan looked down again and his heart sank.

His mother wasn’t on the bench anymore. Where did she go?! Did she leave him stuck there?! How could s—

“Ethan, is everything okay?!” Her voice came from below, returning his soul to his body. “Did you get the squirrel?!”

“HE LEFT!” Ethan carefully looked down, but regretted it immediately. Spirits, what a nauseating place to be in… “I’M STUCK, MOMMY! HELP!”

“You climbed up; you figure out how to get down!”

His eyes darted at the horrific distance between him and the ground, and, nuh-uh. Nope. Sov.

“MUM, IT’S TOO HIGH! I LOVE MY LIFE! I WON’T DO IT!”

She chuckled softly. “It’s not hard, son! Just put your feet in the same place you put before, and climb down!”

“BUT I WILL FALL AND DIE!”

“You won’t, I promise you!”

“MUMMMMMMMM!” He shut his eyes and gripped the tree like a koala. “I’M NOT GOING DOWN!”

“And I’m not going to get you!” She sat beside the tree. “If you’re staying there, we can pass the night here. I don’t mind!”

Ethan couldn’t believe it. Was it for real? She really wasn’t coming to save him?? Even if he’s clearly in danger?! She doesn’t mind if he dies?!

…no, she must be kidding. She was letting Ethan stay for longer because he broke her bracelet. She said it was fine, but maybe she secretly got angry at him, and now was taking advantage of his situation. That must be it. He just gotta wait until she pities him.

Yeah, she was going to get him soon.

Soon.

At any moment.

At any second.

When she feels like it.

Before it was night.

She would do it.

However, time passed, Ethan didn’t move an inch, and his belly was getting wild. The only thing he had all afternoon was an ice cream, and now his stomach was trying to eat him inside out.

Meanwhile, his mum was there, laid down and resting peacefully on the grass.

“Mummyyyyyy… I’m hungry!”

“Me too.” She didn’t even open her eyes. “A shame you let that squirrel escape.”

“Tony wasn’t food! He was my pet!”

“As you say, dear.”

And she kept silent, not uttering a single word about saving him. The crickets and owls were talking more than her, at this point!

His lips trembled when he talked again. 

“Mum, will you really leave me alone here forever?!”

“Of course no, am I not here?” She smiled. “I won’t leave you alone, Ethan; I am letting you learn something useful.”

“But it’s past the time of learning anything! It’s time for dinner, then fairytale, then bedtime!” 

“I know, it will be such a hassle to fix it when we get home, so can you climb down quickly?”

The boy stared at his mum, measuring once more how hard he could fall. Maybe it wasn’t that far, but…

“It’s dark, I can’t see.”

“Ethan…” She huffed and got up, resting her hand on her hip. “We both know you can see clearly—the moon is full, and your vision is better than mine—, so stop procrastinating and get down!”

Ethan breathed in deeply, gazing from his mum to the tree trunk. He could see everything, as she said, but could he do it?…

“Sweet, hear me,” she continued. “It’s not hard. Drag yourself to the trunk, hold it, then put your foot on the nearest branch. After being sure it won’t fall, repeat the steps until you get here. It’s the same as going up, but in the inverse order. Easy, right?”

“Easy, saying! It’s not you here, mum…” he grumbled and swallowed dry.

However, he knew he had no other way to leave. It was climb down or climb down, so he stretched his hands forward. Slowly, focused and shaking, he moved on the branch towards his goal. 

Without looking down, he got at the trunk and squeezed it with his arms. His heart was about to break his rib cage, but he continued the process: a foot down, blindly looking for a new support, then descending over it.

Sometimes Ethan would misstep on a lump and feel his blood vanishing, but then he’d find a way to stabilize himself, say thanks to the stars, and keep the journey down.

It wasn’t easy at all; it was hard, terrible. He felt like he’d fall at each action, hurt himself while falling, hit the ground, go to the hospital, have a head surgery, then die, leaving his mum crying for him the rest of her life.

And this was exactly what happened.

Disturbed by his own thoughts, he glanced down for a second. A millisecond. A tenth of a millisecond. And that was when gravity pulled him down with all its might.

It was fast. Too fast! Ethan screamed and reached for something to hold, but he only held onto leaves who folded with him. He couldn’t seem to stop! He was going to hit the ground! He was going to die!

“ETHAN!”

He shut his eyes, prepared for the inevitable, for the impact, and—

He rolled like a barrel, in a tight space, muffled noises, and aching body. When he stopped spinning, his brain didn’t. It kept sick, feeling suffocated. His lungs were heavy, and it just was tight. Everything was unbelievably tight.

The voice was what made him realize the cause of that problem.

“Thunder! Begone evil!” His mother cursed behind him, still pressing him against her chest. “Do you want to give me a heart attack, Ethan?!”

He couldn’t tell apart her heartbeats from his, but he knew they both weren’t fine. She was shaking. Or was it him? They were too close. Her arms were entangled around his body and he could feel her uneven breath on his hair.

Ah…

Safe. He was safe. He didn’t die. His mum saved him. She got him before he hit the ground. She saved him.

He held weakly to her hands, and the tears came at once. 

“Ethan…” she called and turned him over. “Ethan? Are you hurt somewhere? Did you hit anything??”

He shook his head, but she checked him whole as he didn’t stop to cry. He couldn’t, and he didn’t understand why. Instead, he jumped into her arms again, hugging her neck and weeping louder.

“Son?…” muttered her.

She didn’t push him away, nor told him to be quiet, nor mocked his ugly face.

She just held him back, pulled him closer, and mumbled softly:

“I am here, Ethan. I am here.”

[jeyusoeater]

hey-hey! I was wondering if i could get a 18+ Roman Reigns imagine, based off the song lyrics: “Aw, he like his bitches psychotic. Sit on his face and explain why I'm toxic. How you talk shit but ain't backin' it up?” Where she and Roman have like a slightly ‘toxic’ relationship, where it’s really they just get jealous over simple things. One night they get into a big fight, and she is like ‘if you really want toxic’ and it leads to like heated smut! Thank you!!!! :)) :D

Psycho Bitch (Request).

Roman Reigns x Reader

Rating: 18+

Warning: Heated smut; choking, slapping, spit-kink. Toxic couple behavior.

A/N: Thanks so much for the request, I’ve been working on my Jey fic so I haven’t thought about any sort of Roman smut and this is a…

BEAUTIFUL IDEA 💕 !!

A little birthday smut never hurt.

GIF: @jeysuso

Aw, he like his bitches psychotic (Yeah)

Sit on his face and explain why I'm toxic (Uh, eat that thing), uh

How you talk shit but ain't backin' it up? (Uh-huh)

Toxic (täksik) - very harmful or unpleasant.

You and Roman’s relationship was kind of toxic…

Ok, it was really toxic.

But, in a good way.

You guys weren’t official, but you were definitely exclusive. You were an up and coming WWE Superstar, starting up in NXT and quickly making your way to the main roster.

You’ve been on the main roster since 2020 and your situation-ship with the newly created Head of the Table soon ensued. His sly looks and slick comments caused you to fall into his trap.

And of course you came out of an uncomfortable relationship and Roman came out of a nasty divorce, so you guys were never really committed to start a relationship.

Yet here you were, moved into his house basically, toothbrush beside his, and pancakes (almost) every morning in bed. Practically in a full blown relationship.

You never would look in another man’s direction, but boy did you love when Roman gets jealous. So, you may or may not have put the moves on the young, blonde waiter at lunch for Roman’s birthday.

“Are you fucking serious?!” Roman slammed the down behind him as you ignored him and walked all the way upstairs. “Don’t ignore me bitch!” His footsteps soon reached you and next thing you know your face was slammed against the wall. Your arms held behind your back by one of Roman’s hands and the other pressing your face against the wall.

His dick pressed against your ass and his burly chest molding perfectly onto your back. Goosebumps arose from the depths of your arms and legs, as Roman breathed heavily in your ear. Your staggered breathing caused Roman to chuckle.

“I know that pussy gettin real wet for daddy. You was flirting with that bitch on purpose huh?!” All of your senses tingled as he thrusted his hips forward. His hand traveled from your head to the back of your neck, nearly strangling you.

“Answer. The. Fuckin’. Question.”

“We not even together bitch, why do you care?!” You said strained.

Roman let go of you and turned you around. His hand was quick to travel back to your neck. “You’re fuckin’ mine bitch, ya’ understand me?!” Roman squeezed your neck tightly and you were barely able to get your words out.

“Prove it… pussy.”

You were shoved into Roman’s bedroom and tossed down onto the bed. His kisses were rough and passionate, sending shockwaves to your cunt. Already sloppy and wet from your rendezvous in the shower this morning.

His fingers slip into your pants and quickly sop up your wetness. Rubbing you so heavenly, targeting your clit perfectly. “Mmmm, don’t stop.”

A slap was drawn across your face. “Don’t tell me what to fucking do!” You quickly shook your head yes, heeding to his warning. “Let daddy work his magic.” Your pants were stripped away and panties ripped to shreds.

Tapping your thighs, “Come on mama, you already know. Spread em’.” You shyly spread your legs, opening wide to your Tribal Chief.

“I knew that pussy was screaming for me.” You yelped as Roman began to slap your pussy harshly. “Oh—ow.” Roman laughing boldly.

“Gotta make sure these fools still see my handprints, since you say we ‘not together’.” Dipping down, “I might as well make sure they can still taste a little of me on here too, right?!”

“Fuck.”

Roman dove right into your sweet cunt, swirling his languid tongue across your clit. From your hole and back. Your hands gripped his luscious locks hardly as the feeling was intense, almost near death. You felt his soft, yet rough beard tickle your inner thighs as he slowly parted your pussy lips to reach further depths. Twirling his tongue in small, delicate circles along your clit and making your head loll back as a deep moan bursted from you.

“Fuck, my pussy so sweet.” Roman went back to lapping and slurping on your clit. Your hands slid onto his broad shoulders to support your body as you grinded against his tongue. Your orgasm nearly reached you, but then Roman removes himself from you.

“Nooo… I was about to cum.” Roman slapped your face once more. “Sweetheart, don’t tell me how to do my job.” Tapping your cheek, Roman signaled for you to open your mouth. Crossing your arms over your chest, you slowly opened your mouth wide.

“Atta girl.” Roman’s spit soon trailed from his mouth into yours. Without hesitation, you swallowed his spit quickly. “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay mama?!” Speaking to you like a damn child, you removed your top feeling giddy that your release was coming.

Removing his clothing, Roman’s rock hard body and dick lie perfectly for your viewing pleasure. “Imma really show you, your mines.” That last part was whispered into your ear as he slowly entered you.

His dick hitting the back of your pussy with a firm pounding. All while, the bedsheets were being gripped for dear life as you cried softly to him before he brought his face closer and kissed you deeply, letting his tongue explore your mouth.

“I want your cum in me please.” You begged. “You want my cum all up in you baby?!”

“YES!!”

“Tell me I’m yours.”

“You’re mine, you’re mine and I’m yours. Nobody else, but you daddy.”

“Watch me baby.” Your eyes never left him.

He held your hip with one of his hands and the other slowly rubbing up and down your soft and dripping folds. Taking his time, making you feel every inch of him. “Daddy stretching that pussy out good huh?!” You could only nod at the sheer amount of pleasure you were receiving.

“Fuck yessss.” Your eyes rolling to the back of your head and Roman’s pace quickened. Your pussy twitched and your breathing became considerably heavy.

“I’m gonna cum daddy.”

He stops.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! I was gonna cum.”

Roman slapped you across the face once more. “I do whatever I want with my pussy. You said it yourself I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“But, you know I take care of you. Watch how daddy takes care of you.” You both watched as he entered you again, stroking your pussy. You whimpered as the tumultuous pleasure came back making your cunt quiver.

You forgot your ABC’s and 123’s at that point by the way your Samoan king was fucking you. “Unhh, fuck baby I’m cumming for you.” He moaned as his thrusts became heavy. They soon came to a halt and a deep, guttural moan came from his throat. Your vision blurring as you reached your highs together.

Dick still twitching as he pumped his cum into you. He kissed you languidly and pulled out of your sensitive cunt. He bent down quickly and kiss your clit, making you jolt.

“Are we together or what?!”

“Happy birthday bitch and goodnight.”

He kissed the top of your head and covered you up.

“You’re mine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE END!!

Thanks so much for the request anon!!!

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[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Twenty-One

when you realize the significance of the monkey (∩˃о˂∩)♡

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

word count: 3.6k , edited by me ....soooo if you see something spelt wrong no you didn't.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @concretenoah @thebadchic @jessitpwk @madomens @samanthasgone @myownthoughts12

I picked up Erin from Ashely’s house at around 10 am the following morning. I don’t think anything will ever compare to her seeing me and running with excitement into my arms for a big hug. I just hope she still feels that way later today when I tell her about Noah.

“I missed you Mom!” she calls out and I pick her up and swing us around in a circle. “Oh my sweet girl, I missed you so much!” I tell her and kiss all over her cheeks and the top of her head. We finish gathering her things and thank Ashely and her mom again before we eventually get into the car and head off to begin our girls’ day. “So nails first or food? How are you feeling?” I ask as I turn on the radio and begin backing out of the driveway. 

“FOOD! Please! We only had cereal for breakfast and you know I need more than that.” I laugh because I know exactly that. My girl can eat! “Okay, so first food and then nails!” I say, then reach over to turn up the radio when I hear “Dancing Queen” by ABBA come on. We sing our hearts out on the drive to our favorite breakfast spot near our house. We sit in our regular corner booth by the back window. I order a coffee and a full stack of pancakes with eggs and bacon. Erin orders an orange juice and the same amount of food and I know she’ll finish it all. She recaps me on the last two days and all the fun she had with her friend, “but I missed you and Hales a lot. I’m happy to be back home now.” she says stuffing a huge piece of pancake into her mouth. “I’m happy you’re home too little bug, but why don't you take smaller bites? I don’t need you choking thirty minutes after getting you back.” She smiles with her mouth full of food, “okay” her muffled voice comes out and I can’t help but laugh. 

With breakfast finished the two of us head to the nail salon and I decide we should really pamper ourselves and we get the deluxe mani/pedi package. The salon I like plays old MTV music videos on big TVs all around the room. The sound of Paramore while my feet soak in the soothing heat and the massage chair digs into my back puts me into a state of complete relaxation and I find my mind wandering. Stuck on a moment from the night before, Noah and I sitting together on the couch and our almost kiss. If things were different, if we lived in an alternate universe and it wasn’t ten years later I would have closed the distance and would have let myself be sucked into his gravity. He has everything he wants now, his music, his band, it’s what he left to find ten years ago.

I look over at Eric who’s set the chair to the back-patting setting that has her voice bouncing “Ah, ah, ah, m-o-o-m, d-o-o-o I s-o-u-n-d w-e-i-r-d.” the smile that breaks across my face is full of love as I take in the beautiful girl in front of me. “You sound perfect baby,” I say and ruffle her hair softly. The rest of our appointment goes by in a relaxing daze. We laugh while Erin tells me about her last two days. We finish up and I mentally prepare myself for the conversation we are about to have. I am going to tell her about Noah. I just hope she doesn’t hate me afterward. 

We get back to the house and she rushes into her room to unload her dirty clothes and reunite with the stuffed animals she had to leave behind. “Fluffy! I never want to be separated again!” I hear her exclaim from outside of her room. Before talking to her I head into my room and open my closet door, I’m looking for a certain shoe box. “Where the hell is it?” I ask myself, “Ah ha!” It’s nestled deep into the corner hiding under the Carhart hoodie I borrowed from Haylie who stole it from who knows. I take a deep breath and lift the lid of the box. On top are several photos of me and Noah, some of the two of us, and Nicholas as well. Wadded up in a tight ball is the Bring Me The Horizon shift Noah gave me all those years ago. There’s also a CD, some random ticket stubs, drawings, and more pictures at the bottom. I decide to just take the whole box and head towards Erin’s room.

Knocking on the door I hear a soft, “Come in!” I walk into her room and see that she’s decided today is the day she’s going to reorganize her bookshelf. 

“Hey sweety, can I talk to you about something?” I ask and try to hide the nervousness in my voice. “Umm yeah, is everything okay? You sound weird.” So I didn’t do a great job at hiding it. “Yes, everything is okay. There’s just something that I need to talk to you about. Something important.”

Two lines appear between her eyebrows and her face contorts in confusion. “Is this an I can keep working and listening important or do I need to sit next to you on the bed?” she asks and I pat a spot next to me on the bed to wordlessly answer her question. “Oof, okay,” she whispers out and climbs next to me on her bed.

“You remember how I told you that I got pregnant when I was still in high school but my boyfriend and I had already broken up?” she continues looking at me with confusion all over her face but nods slightly, “Yeah, I remember. You said you two never saw each other again.” I take her hand and smile, trying to fight the tears in my eyes.

I open the box and hand her a picture of Noah and I. “His name is Noah. This is your father.” She takes the photo and looks back and forth between me and and younger version in the photo. “You look so different,” she says and I huff a laugh. “Yeah, that’s what growing up will do to you.” 

“Where is he?” she asks quietly looking up at me. “Well, he’s actually in town for a few days if you would like to meet him.”

“Where has he been?” she asks and that takes me off guard. I struggle with what to say, not wanting to keep anything from her but also not wanting to upset her. “He’s been in Los Angeles. That’s where he works.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s in a band, playing music, and sings all around the world.”

“Hm,” she says and I’m not sure what she’s thinking. 

“So he didn’t want me?” and there it is. The knife in my heart makes it hard to keep the food down from earlier but I push through, remaining strong.

“Oh no sweety, that’s not true at all. He didn’t know for so long. It’s very complicated adult stuff. Things that took me a long time to understand myself” I try to explain to her. 

“Will you tell me when I’m older the complicated stuff?”

“Of course baby, I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know about him.”

“Is he nice?” Erin asks in a quiet shy voice, “Do you think he would like me?”

I wrap her up in my arms and squeeze her tightly, “he is very nice and he will like you very much I promise.” I run my hand down her head, soothing her soft brown hair.”Does that mean you’d like to meet him?”

The air is still in the room as Erin takes time to think. Her small face scrunched in concentration. “I think I would like to meet him, yes. But are things going to change? My friend Brody’s parents don’t live together and he goes to his dad’s house every other weekend. Do I have to do that now?” I pull her closer until my head is resting on top of hers. “Nothing will change without you making that decision. Right now, we take things one step at a time.” she nods her head and wraps her arms as tight as she can around me.

“Would you be interested in meeting him tomorrow? He will be leaving again soon with his band so we won’t see him again for a few weeks. I can tell him we can wait if you’d be more comfortable.” I’m also definitely scheduling an earlier therapy appointment for her this week. Her head remains buried in my side while she takes everything in. I am giving her all the time she needs to process, so if she wants to wait until he’s more available I don’t blame her. 

“I think I would like to meet him. But what if you just invited him over here? So I can show him my stuff and maybe he will like me even more?” 

I move back so I can take her small face into my hands. “I can do that but I need to to listen to me now, there is no one on this planet that could possibly not like you Erin Howlston and I know for a fact that he will love you so much because you are you and you are perfect,” I emphasize my point my giving her cheeks a little squeeze. “But you have to think that because you’re my mom.” she quips through pursed lips. “And he’s your father, so by your logic, he must also think that,” I argue back and I see her eyes turned down slightly in the corner.

“But he made you sad right? That’s why you broke up when you were in high school. I don’t want him to make you sad again.” My heart swells. While I drop an atomic bomb of information about her life she’s worried about my feelings. I must be doing something right with this whole parenting thing.

“Sweetie, that was a long time ago. My heart is all better now and I’m not sad anymore. I am so so so unbelievably happy with our life. With you and Aunt Haliey, Uncle Kyle and Aunt Mags, and little Natasha. I think Noah is a very good person and he wants to be in your life because he cares about you. Even without having met you.” She gives me a small smile and hugs me again.” okay, I want to meet him. You said tomorrow right?” she looks up at me with her deep brown eyes that have always been just like his. “Tomorrow it is. I will give him a call later today, but what do you want to do now? Play? We could watch a movie? Or draw together?”

Quickly detangling from my arms she races to pick up her paper and stretching pencils, “Drawing please! I need help with the cat I’m drawing.” 

We spend the next few hours drawing together on her bedroom floor laughing and listening to music. For Christmas last year she asked for a Google Mini so she could ask it to play music whenever she wanted. Now we are listening to “The Very Best Of Otis Redding”. When she was a baby I listened to it all the time. I used to sing “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” while rocking her to sleep. Sometimes I walk by her room and she is listening to it while reading or playing with her toys and it reminds me of holding her when she was so little and how she would hold my finger so tightly.

I feel the tug of guilt in my gut about Noah having missed those moments but force it down, there’s nothing that can be done about the past but we can create new memories with the three of us together. Even if Noah and I aren’t together we can be the two parents that Erin needs. Maybe we can even be friends.

Later, once Erin wanted time alone to play with her toys I went into my room to call Noah. I haven’t been able to talk to Haylie about any of this yet, she woke up late with a hangover and had to run out of the house for the day to meet with her editor to talk about her next book release.

I close my door most of the way, only keeping a small sliver open in case Erin calls out for me. I sit on the edge of my bed and hit the green call button on my new Noah contact page, It rings a few times before I hear the sound of him picking up on the other end.

Hey! Natty, how are you doing? How’s it going?

Hi Noah, things are good. How are you? 

There’s rustling in the background of his call, “oohh is that Natalie??” I hear who I think is Folio.

Yes, shush…not you Nat! You don’t have to shush. Sorry, Folio is being an idiot.

I’m good, just working on some new remixes for our deluxe album.

I just finished talking with Erin and she suggested I invite you over tomorrow to meet. Is that okay?

Tomorrow sounds great! What time is good for you two?

How does 12:30 work? I can order us sandwiches from the sub shop in town, Erin’s favorite.

Perfect, 12:30 is perfect. Thank you so much, Natty. I won’t let you down again. I promise.

I try not to blush like a preteen at the way his voice goes almost breathless as he makes his promise to me. 

Um. so I’ll see you tomorrow then, bye!

I try to rush off the phone as fast as possible before I let myself word-vomit anything stupid.

Bye Natty, I’ll see you tomorrow, looking forward to seeing you and meeting Erin. 

A few minutes I hear Haylie unlock the door and head into the house and she calls out like she did the night before. “Honeys!! I’m home!” she calls from the front room. “Hey Hales!” Erin and I both call out.

Before I have the chance to call down to her to come up so I can relay everything that’s happened since we separated after the concert, she is racing up the stairs taking two at a time. She swings my door open, stepping into my room with a huge face-splitting smile on her face. “Sooo?? How did it go?” she asks moving closer into my room and creating the same small gap in the door before sitting down next to me on the bed. “Well, before I drunkenly barged in. sorry about that. That Folio knows how to throw them back, he’s pretty hot don’t you think?”

She has this twinkle in her eye when she says it and I laugh and roll my eyes at her. “It went well, he was a little upset at first which I wasn’t surprised by. He cried I cried, it was very emotional. He wants to meet her and then stay in Austin during their break in between tour dates.” As I recant my mind whirls and everything hits me more than I expected. “He said that he wanted this life with me, wanted the family and the happiness and the love that he should have fought harder for me, should have never let me go.” I try to keep my voice steady but I can feel my throat getting thick with emotion. Haylie wraps her arm around me and remains quiet while I continue telling her all about what happened. “And then when I was showing him pictures in her baby book there was this moment..” I slowly trail off and she pops forward and her eyes widen in surprise.

“What kind of moment?” she asks in a voice that goes all jelly-like and I manage to look slightly shameful before I tell her. That I so easily folded in his presence is borderline embarrassing, just shows how powerful his hold is still over my heart. But right now I can’t think with my heart, now is the time to think with my brain. While also considering Erin’s heart. 

“We might have almost kissed,” I tell her while I bury my face in my hands. “OH MY GOD! NATALIE !” she shrieks and I quickly throw my hands over her mouth. “Shush! Haliey oh my god, Erin will hear you!” and just like that I hear her little voice calling from down the hall, “everything okay in there?” she asks. “Yes!” “Everthing is fine!” we answer in unison and I think she retreats back into her room.

“You almost kissed him! How? What did he say? Did he lean in? How did he act after the almost kiss,” she shoots out the questions in a rapid-fire succession and I rub the sides of my temples before answering her. “Um. I guess he was kind of leaning in, he was doing that thing you know. When a guy looks between your eyes and your lips. I felt so weak. Oh my god, I almost kissed him, and then the book fell and I remembered what we were doing and why he was there and I felt so stupid.”

“You are NOT stupid! There were a lot of emotions flowing, you hadn’t had a moment alone with him in years and it’s not like when you broke up you two weren’t completely and totally in love with each other. It’s not like those feelings just go away.” she says while rubbing up and down along my back. 

“I just can’t do that with him, It’s not a good idea for the two of us to do anything that could jepordize Erin’s happiness.” I nod to myself, wiping one of my hands down my face and then raking them through my hair. Haliey and I flop backwards onto the pillows while I finish catching her up on everything that happened, including my conversation with Erin and then my phone call with Noah right before she got home. 

“You want me to clear out tomorrow so y’all have some privacy?” she asks and I balk at the thought. “No way! I would never ask you to leave your own house. Plus, you’re such an important person in Erin’s life, I’m sure she would also want you here.” 

The three of us spend the rest of our evening lounging in the living room watching TV in our pajamas. We make homemade pizzas and cookies for dinner together in the kitchen while singing along to Disney’s greatest hits. We end the night all cuddled together on the couch watching Erin’s favorite movie “The Secret Life of Arrietty” and when she falls asleep I carry her up the stairs into her room and deposit her into her bed. I gently kiss her forehead and turn on her glowing nightlight before closing the door and heading back to help Haylie finish cleaning the kitchen. 

The next day is quickly upon us and I nervously watch the clock ticking away as we get closer and closer to 12:30. I picked up the subs a few minutes ago so hopefully Noah isn’t late. No one likes a soggy sub.

Just seconds before the second-hand crosses over the 12 on the clock there is a knock on the door that causes me to jump straight out of my seat. Haylie laughs at me as she rubs my shoulders walking past and into her room. She told Erin that if she needed her at any time to just barge in and get her. I walk towards the door and Erin suddenly looks very nervous and gets up to hide behind my back. “Are you okay baby?” I ask her quietly before answering the door. She nods her head against my back and whispers, “Yes, I’m fine.” she gripping the back of my jeans but I think if she didn’t want to do this anymore she would say something, she’s just nervous. Hell, I’m nervous. 

I open the door and Noah is standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand and a stuffed monkey in the other. “Hi,” he says in a soft and nervous voice. I return his greeting with a warm smile. “Come on in” I open the door wider so he can come in and Erin scoots along with me not quite ready to reveal herself. “How are you doing?” he asks and hands the flowers over to me, “these are for you.” He gestures to the monkey, “And this is for Erin.” she peaks her head out from behind me and looks up towards Noah and the monkey. “That’s for me?” she asks quietly. Noah crouches down to be at her eye level and hands out the toy to her. “Yes, this is for you. Do you like monkeys?” He asks and I see a small smile appear on her face. “I do like monkeys. I saw some at the zoo a few days ago with my friend Ashely.” She holds out her hand to accept the offering. “Hi Erin.” he says with a warm smile, “I’m Noah, it’s very nice to meet you?” She slowly eases out from behind me and is now standing beside me and at eye level with Noah, still crouched. “It’s nice to meet you too. Even though you made my mom sad.” 

Oh, Jesus, this is going to be an interesting afternoon.

Next chapter

[thewiz9062]

Smiling Critters AU: Favorite Sweets

NOTE: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST. An accurate description of this au is that I took every playtime.co poster art and promotional material from the game and lit up the rest of canon in a bonfire. Meaning that EVERY character is part of one big cartoon. Thats it. No bigger bodies project, no child souls, no experiments, just a depiction of a cartoon. PLEASE do not ask me to do anything suggestive with anyone.

Look, guys, I'm doing fluff (For now) I want to characterize my critters a little more, so here are what I think their favorite sweets would be:

Dogday: Vanilla Pancakes (With cream)

Dogday is absolutely the one to like one meal and then incorporate it into like 90% of what he eats. And he really likes breakfast, so i think his favorite sweet would probably just be a slightly fancier version of his favorite breakfast, buttermilk pancakes. He also is normally a big fan of vanilla. So add vanilla extract into the mix and boom favorite sweet.

Catnap: Brownies (Fluffy, with Light Cream)

Well, Sun and Moon dynamic, so obviously, Catnap prefers chocolate. I was thinking that because he probably prefers to save food since he has no income (au specific), so he would favor something that's made in batches, so, brownies! It's very fluffy, though. He probably hates the feeling of fudgy things.

CraftyCorn: Cake!

Now Crafty doesn't actually have a favorite sweet. She's not picky about sweets. She does like decorating, though, so she ends up getting cake more often than not. Whenever she does get a cake, if it has a design, she'll spend a few minutes looking and analyzing how the designs are made (she's so me fr fr) hope to be able to design things like that one day. (Not now cuz her parents are assholes)

Bobby: Cupcakes

I think Bobby makes these on the regular, whether for her class, her father, or her siblings. Cupcakes are her go-to, so it eventually just became her fav. Don't get her started on gourmet cupcakes. She only ever got to try them once, and all her recipes are attempting to recreate them. (with Picky's help) They don't get far because they don't have the right ingredients, but they're really good, so

Bubba: Ice Cream

Bubba will say he doesn't have a favorite sweet but he will defend ice cream like it's his mother, so we all know it's that. He's Begrudgingly picky about it as well, so that's why...

Kickin: ....

OK so it's not ACTUALLY this..... sort of. He likes normal ice cream nearly as much as Bubba, but specifically to piss him off, they'll go to a parlor and order whatever makes Bubba look like he's going to spontaneously explode. He also thinks it's pretty cool to be the only one ordering these options, and cherishes the employee's (player, in this situation) look of shock and disgust. He usually ends up mirroring that expression once he actually eats it, but it's all worth it.

Hoppy: Smoothies!

It's a win win situation for her. Smoothies are extremely versatile, and can be used for healthy purposes to keep in shape, but she also likes sweet Smoothies as well, so 😋

Picky: C A N D Y .

Guilty pleasure, for sure. Fruity, sweet, chocolatey, she's certainly not picky about candy.

And that's that! Sorry about the short ones, I still have trouble characterizing them to this day but I'm trying and I had fun making this

[helpfandom]

Yandere Stobotnik x Platonic Reader Chapter 2: The man

TW: Kidnapping, Threatening, Emotional manipulation. Kind of a mental breakdown/ anxiety attack?

You woke up without Maddie or Ozzy in the house, leaving it to feel empty. You were colder without Ozzy to lay on, and nothing other than Tom taking a shower could be heard. You checked the time, 6:52. I guess Tom took the day off to pack and get ready for San Francisco? You got up and got dressed in matching clothing, which soothed you a little bit.

You got downstairs and decided to go and make breakfast, which lead to slightly singed pancakes, but a meal you made yourself. Tom finished and was dressed in a casual outfit when he got downstairs and smiled when he saw that you made breakfast for him. You looked at him questioningly, "D- Did you take the day off or?" He sat down, "I asked to come in a little later today since I had to drive Maddie." You nodded, "Ah, that makes more sense. What time are you coming in?" He finished the bite he was chewing and then replied, "Around lunchtime, don't worry though, I won't arrive then take my lunch break, I'll eat here." 

You nodded and finished the bite you were eating before asking another question. "You think Maddie's over there by now?" "Yeah, I think so, I believe her flight arrived at 6:30, but I might be wrong so why don't we call her later today and find out?" "Have you seen anything weird lately?" He paused and asked for clarification, "What do you mean?" "Like have you seen anything like a quill but it was to big to be a normal hedgehog's quill, or a slightly anthropomorphic hedgehog?" He paused and looked at you incredulously. 

"D- did you know I picked up a quill yesterday?" You almost dropped your fork and knife in surprise, "What?" Your heart was fluttering, in a bad way. "Yeah, I saw it while I was at the speed trap. Oh! And one thing, I had my speedometer go off twice with high numbers." "D-do you think that maybe those are connected, I saw something weird yesterday." "What did you see?" You explained that both you and Maddie didn't know what it was that you saw. "Maybe it's aliens?" Tom joked. "Me and Maddie said the same thing, maybe it's a sign to get the heck out of dodge." You hummed a agreement out and finished the meal in silence with each other. It felt wrong without her or Ozzy.

You washed the dishes when you were done and then got started packing the books in your room, at around 8:30, Tom calls you down. "On the phone with Maddie!" You rushed downstairs to join the conversation.

"Whatcha' doing?" You asked, curious. "Just drawing, with Jojo, And Rachel." "Has she -she being Rachel- convinced you to leave me yet?" "No, but she wants me to check your phone for dating apps." "Good luck, the only apps I have are the ones that came with my phone." A moment of silence, then, "And the Olive Garden app," You pitched in on the "Cause' when you're there, you're family." Tom was remined of something, and said "Hey fascinating stuff here, we got a power outage."

"Oh, that's interesting ...." A clatter outside was heard, Tom looked at you momentarily before deciding it was racoons. He moved to the drawer with the tranquilizer in it while still continuing to speak, "Hey, how much does the racoon need before sleeping, Greenhill's finest Vet?" "Tom, That's for bears-" He finished setting up the gun to shoot, "Perfect, then it'll work." A gasp could be heard through the phone, "TOM!" He hung up on Maddie, leaving her to wonder what he was going to do to the poor racoons.

You followed Tom to see what that was, maybe it's what I saw yesterday? Hm, unlikely, but still.  We walked out to the garage, I walked behind Tom, who was ready to bust down the door. He kicked it in yelling "SFPD!" You chimed in, "Pending background check!" You both rushed inside and there it was, the ?hedgehog?. "Um, Meow?" Tom shot him with the tranquilizer in surprise, leading the ?hedgehog? to drop the thing that he was holding and create a ?portal? to the top of a building.

You walked back in shock, what the. The ?hedgehog?  flopped to the floor and dropped the bag that he was holding. You watched the bag fall into the ?portal? created on the floor and land on the building. You and Tom watched in shock as the portal closed in on itself. You shared a look and then Tom seemed to have broken out of his stupor. 

Tom grabbed the thing and shoved it in an animal cage that Maddie left in the garage. You got out of your frozen state when he handed you the tranquilizer gun. You held it until you two got into the house, then you put it on the cabinet. You and Tom had a moment of silence before he stuttered something out to himself. "Wh-what the fuck is that?" You sat down, and watched the thing breathe for a beat before saying something. "I think that this is what I saw."

He turned and looked at you, "Really?" You looked at him, "Yes." There was a pause as you both thought about what to say to each other. "I think we should call it a hedgehog." "Why?" You turned back to the thing in the cage. "Because that's what I've been calling it in my mind." He chuckled a little bit, "I don't mean to laugh, it's just that you're delivery was funny to me for some reason." You shrugged. "Gotta have humor in serious situations."

The silence was starting to settle in like a heavy, weighted, blanket amongst you two. Tom, done with the silence, beckoned to you to get up and talk to him. You got up from your seat and walked over to him. You both put your back to the hedgehog and were going to call Maddie before you heard the cage door opening and you stopped Tom.

You both turned around, shocked -even though you both were pretty sure he opened the door- to find that he escaped from the cage. "hgn, What happened?" You gasped and stepped back again. Tom walked to the hedgehog and asked "What are you?" "A hedgehog?" It asked the incredulously, like in disbelief that someone wouldn't know what it is. There was commotion outside, and it ran to the window. "Oh no, they found me again." 

You raised your eyebrows, "Again?" It turned to you, "Yes, again." It turned to Tom, "You've got to help me, Donut Lord." The commotions stopped. "Why should I help you?" "Because you shot me, and this is life or death." Tom looked in distress between you and the hedgehog. "You, Room, HIDE." You pointed to the hedgehog and Tom rephrased the sentence, "It- Attic, You- Room."

You went up the stairs and pretended to go inside your room. You could hear Tom open the door, and talk to someone outside. You didn't hear much though, only little snippets. You tried inching closer, but remembered the floorboards are creaky, and that would tell them that you are there. "So tell me why I should let you inside my house?" You put your hand to your mouth, What? Is someone trying to get in? "Are you aware of ..." Something came in through the window, which made you stand up in alarm. The floor boards creaked as you walked -more like ran- to your closet to hide. 

What the fuck? 

It was silent for a few minutes, most likely seconds but your impatience left you thinking it was longer -as far as you heard at least- before you heard thumping ?down? the stairs. You waited a few beats, and then you could hear a scream momentarily and then rapid fire gunshots with glass breaking.

You shut your eyes, you were panic stricken, and waited until you could hear something. It was minutes, -you counted to try and calm yourself- before you heard something come ?up? the stairs. You heard two pairs of feet, which meant it was likely two people who were here. Doors were flung open and you could hear that they were getting closer to where you were hiding.

Your bedroom door was busted open and then you could hear that they were right outside the closet door. "Hey, Doctor? Are you sure that someone was here?" A fluttering was heard as someone turned around. "Of course I am sure that someone was here." They flung open the door to your closet revealing you to them, as they did though, they kept talking. "Did you doubt my robots, Stone?"

'Stone' -at least as far as you knew, they were named Stone- pointed to you, and smiled at the 'Doctor'. "Of course not, Doctor." Doctor -this time you knew for sure who was who- grabbed your arm violently and pulled you up to them. "Now, adolescent, we need you to come with us to the police department." Dear god, he's scary. "O-okay. W-where's Tom?" Stone's eyes flicked to Doctor then to you. Doctor just let go of you and walked away.

Stone stayed behind and put a hand on your shoulder to try to comfort you. "Tom is- Tom is unavailable currently." Stone then lead you downstairs where you saw a catastrophe of a house. The table was broken, glass shards were everywhere, bullet holes riddled the walls and floor. Stone was preoccupied with something outside, which left you alone in the house. What happened? Is he dead? Who are these people? You saw that the tranquilizer was still on the counter where you left it, and you compulsively grabbed it and put it in your pocket.

Stone entered again to drag you away from the mess that was now your house. There were two large trucks outside where Doctor was standing outside one of them, impatiently waiting and tapping his foot. Stone explained "I had driven one of the trucks to investigate one area, and the Doctor had driven the other to investigate here, but now he wants to drive you down to the police station and investigate there, while I drive the other back to base. So, you'll be driving with him." Base? 

"O-okay." You got into the truck with Doctor in tow and sat down in one of the seats, and odd one since it was your lucky number and you needed all the luck you could get. "No. Sit somewhere else." The Doctor ordered you, so you sat in the next seat that was your lucky number -another odd number-, but that wasn't good enough for the Doctor. "Sit down beside me then, if you can't sit in the right place." 

So you did just that, you sat down beside him and yelled at him from inside your mind. Excuse me what? I can sit down in the right spot. I was sitting down to get luck, and it wasn't in the way of anything or anyone so I was in the right, you are in the wrong.

Your thoughts of anger were quickly burst when Doctor asked you why you sat in the wrong place. "I sat in the luck number spot." "What do you mean?"  You shrugged, "It was my lucky number where I sat, and you're kind of scary so I need all the luck I can get." He huffed. "I don't see why you think that. Luck doesn't exist, it's just a construct we created, all there is is probability. " You swallowed, I have to tread carefully. "I don't know why I think that way either." 

You quickly arrived at the police department, much to your relief, and got out of the truck. Wade's car was outside, alongside a few black cars, none of which you recognized. You entered the air conditioned police station in tow of the Doctor. Wade was surrounded by some people in black suits. Wade looked discombobulated and also looked like he was about to cry. You walked over to Wade, who looked at you in concern. "I thought Tom wasn't going to show up for a while today." You sat down at a chair, "Yeah, well um." You leaned towards him, and started whispering. "I think Tom's dead, and these guys-" You gestured to the men, "Had something to do with it." 

He whispered to you, "You think Tom's dead?" The shock of it made his hands shake, "I do, there were bullet holes and gun fire, and now Tom's missing." "O, M, G." He looked at you and wrapped you into a hug, "I'm so sorry." Doctor harumphed and then announced to everyone in the room, "So, you simple minded compatriots, I shall tell you what is going on." You and Wade looked to the Doctor, "There is investigation of the power outage incident, and it occurred in this sleepy little town." Stone entered the police station, and walked to Doctor.

You and Wade shared a look of confusion, but neither of you wanted to interrupt him talking, and so you kept silent. I thought it just happened here? Was it farther than that? He continued, "We are from the government, and we are taking over for now." Your eyes widened, the government? Wade gasped a little in shock, a sentiment you agreed with. The Doctor finished his announcement, and walked over to you and Wade. 

He looked around for a seat to sit on and then grabbed it once he saw a seat, Stone stood behind the Doctor. Doctor scooted close to you two before asking a question. "What do you know about terrorism?" You leaned back a little in shock, "W-what?" He grunted in annoyance, "What do you know about terrorism?" You looked around, as if searching your memory , when it came to you. "Acts of violence, particularly against civilians, in order to get a political point across?" 

"Close but what about domestic terrorism?" A look of confusion came across you and Wade's faces. "The same but done with someone from the country?" You asked, looking around again for something. "Hmm. Close enough. That's what Tom is." Your eyes widened again. "B-but-" Wade came to your rescue, "He can't put bait on when fishing, there is no way he can be a terrorist." 

You interjected, "I-isn't he dead anyway?" Doctor sighed, "Sadly-" He gave a look to Stone, "He isn't, nor is he captured." Tears came to your eyes in relief that Tom wasn't dead, You didn't want to lose another parent so soon. "Oh." "Oh?" Doctor queried. "I thought he was dead, ya 'know cause of the bullet holes, and gunfire." Doctor nodded, "A incorrect assumption, but I see how you jumped to that conclusion. But, back to the topic at hand here, Tom is a terrorist, even if you think him a good man."

No, no way he's a terrorist. It must be because of that hedgehog we helped earlier. The thing must be wanted by the government. You snuck a look at the clock, 4:41, whish was surprising because time had moved so fast. "Why is he a terrorist?" You dared to ask. "He is helping an enemy of the state, which reminds me of something." He stood up and beckoned you to do so as well. Stone stepped back to let Doctor through, and you followed Doctor to an empty room. 

Doctor grabbed something from Stone's pocket and held it in front of you. It seemed like a quill from a hedgehog, but it was long, glowing blue and sparkling with electricity. "What is this to you? And what was it doing inside your house?" "It must have been a glowstick, from a previous performance of mine." He hummed, "Then why is it so bright?" "Good glowstick, perhaps?" He hummed again, then handed it to Stone to keep. He started walking closer to you, and he grabbed your chin to look at him. "Look, adolescent, Don't play games with me." "I-I'm not, I don't know what's going on a-and I'm s-scared c-cause I thought that my dad was dead, and I didn't want him to die as well, and-" You burst into tears, all of your anxiety caught up to you and exploded within. 

You dropped to the ground and held your knees to yourself. You couldn't stop crying, even though it showed that you were vulnerable right now, you just couldn't stop. Stone kneeled beside you and started rubbing circles into your back. Doctor just stood there dumbfounded, he didn't know what to do, as someone just started crying in front of him, seemingly without warning. He just left you crying with Stone. 

It was hard, you didn't want to cry but your body was crying without you meaning it to, leaving you feeling awful making you cry more. Stone just kneeled there rubbing your back and giving you tissues while you were crying into yourself, which was for a while, because you couldn't stop. Eventually you did stop, but that was when all the tears in your body were gone.

You breathed in, and blew your nose again before standing up. "I'm sorry that you had to do that. I shouldn't cry." He gave you a sympathetic look, "It's okay to cry, it must have been a lot for you today." You laughed a little. "Yeah, it was." You threw away your tissues and breathed in really deep. "I'm okay now, I promise." "Okay. You ready to go out there?" 

"Yeah, I think so." You opened the door and took a look at the clock when you sat back down with Wade. 6:11. Doctor was talking to somebody else when you sat down. "You okay? Your eyes are puffy and red, did they make you cry?" You shook your head. "No, they didn't make me cry. I'm fine Wade." He said nothing, but moved the tissue box closer to you.

You were exhausted, but you fought with your tiredness to stay awake by stabbing yourself with your fingernails. You did end up falling asleep, but you woke up at 8:22, so it was just a little nap. Wade tapped you on the shoulder to see if you were awake. He needed to tell you something. "Hey, you awake?" You mumbled something, and then shook your head to wake up. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that."

"It's okay, I understand, but they have a plan as to where you'll be staying." You were more awake at that point, "What? What do you mean?" He paused for a moment then shook his head about something mentally. "Um, so, you won't be staying at your house 'cause it's an investigation zone and you would be trampling evidence, and since both of your guardians are unavailable to watch you, you will be staying with them - I think." You blinked slowly at him, "Why can't I stay with you?" 

He shrugged, "I don't know. Sorry, kiddo."  Doctor and Stone stopped by Wade's desk where you two were, "Did you manage to relay the information?" Doctor asked in a demanding tone. "Yeah, I told Y/N that they wouldn't be staying with me." The phone started to ring, and Wade picked it up before Doctor could. 

Tom's voice was a bit staticky, but you could hear him through the phone. "Hey Wade." Wade whispered into the phone, "What is going on, Tom? There are these men in suits and they were asking about you and asking about terrorism, and I told them you couldn't put bait on, there is no way he's a terrorist." Tom cut him off, "Wade, I need you to not let them know I called you." Wade looked at Doctor and Stone, "Yeah, I think they already know." 

Doctor grabbed the phone out of Wade's hand, "Mr. Wachowski ." "Ah, Hello Robotnik." "I want you to know that the only other person to punched me in the face was the school yard bully, he hit me in the cafeteria causing a blunt force contusion to the soft tissue surrounding my orbital bone, humiliated me in front of the entire school and you know what I did in response?" "I assume that you went to the teacher and reported him?" "No, I examined the inefficiency in a world where brawn overtrumped brain and I used technology to resolve that inefficiency. The boy ate his meals through a straw for a year. You are about to become the bully with a straw. I am coming for you Mr. Wachowski and when I catch you- I'll." Tom hung up the phone abruptly, stopping Robotnik from finishing his sentence.

"Hello? Hello? Hello Hello Hello?" Wade interrupted Robotnik, "Um, I think he hung up actually, 'cause I noticed the light isn't on." "Thank you, Officer Brainfart." Wade pouted at the insult. "You know what, just sit there and be you - sless." He beckoned for you to come with him as he walked off from the room.

"Um, aren't any of you going to erase my memory or something?! I will tell people about this!" But nobody did anything.

You followed Robotnik and Stone where they stopped in front of the truck. "Now, adolescent, are there any questions for my superior intellect?" You fiddled with your fingers, "A-actually, yes there is, Why couldn't I stay with Wade?" He laughed a little, "You were in the home and care of a terrorist, why would we let you be alone with someone when we could watch you?" Stone entered the truck, and it was just you and Robotnik outside. 

"B-but I d-didn't do anything, Why are you watching me?" He put his hands to his temples and rubbed them in frustration, and screamed at you, "BECAUSE!"

You grabbed the tranquilizer in your pants, I am not going with someone with power in the government that high, he can do almost anything without consequences, he could do anything to me. You shot the man with the tranquilizer and ran, but you could hear him grab the dart out from his leg and drop it to the ground. The crunch of the ground beneath your feet was quickly doubled as the man ran behind you, quickly catching up as you didn't do much exercise.

All you saw in front of you was the bright vermillion eyes of a robot floating in front of you.

[ewesless]

Goof Up Poll #1

Who left their chocolate chips for baking cookies with on the counter top when the dishwasher was running and melted 1/3 or more of the bag?

Okay, I'm going to do something a little different with this one. Drabbles! I mean, definitely vote your vote, but hear me out?

Why Solomon? He's a disaster in the kitchen, but he also is going to add some cayenne and powdered goji berries for a kick and healthy superfood twist. SOMEHOW the bag of chocolate chips melted and turnes into a solid brick. Oh well chocolate melts and evenly distributes, right? Especially with a torch! It also adds a delightfully, extra crunchy texture to the thick, flavorful crust (I'm woefully unimaginative compared to the Magic Master Chef :( These abominations would be safely removed by a stab happy, hazardous materials disposal specialist named Raphael.

Why Simeon? He's canonically a cute, old, out of touch ditz and enjoys cooking thoughtful recipes for his housemates. He would definitely keep some sweet snacky stuff like mini packs of M&M's or other hard shelled candies like Reese's Pieces as pick me ups and for Packed Lunches. So he would have a batch with cinnamon chips or butterscotch chips too. Apart from being specialized for the palate of the recipient he would put them in adorable bags with personalized labels written in his elegant script. Leviathan framed his tag, begged the others for theirs as rare memorabilia collectables and Mammon sold him his at a steep price...which he paid for on the spot. 6/7 SECURED. When he learned that Beel ate his which was devastating he demanded Beel regurgitate it OR ELSE. Fear the taste of his spicy newt chip dust fingers!!

Why Luke? Poor kid doesn't have his emotional regulation under control yet :( (I say as an old fart who doesn't either) He would be upset and also discover that the baking powder was expired and that the flour was contaminated by Solomon making his cursed pancakes so this was actually a blessing in disguise? Feeling unnerved but lucky he'd go to the store (with ??? as his chaperone, but I think he shops alone too?) and while there he would have a nice distraction by seeing inspiration for cupcakes or other little baked goods for next time. When he gets home he gets back into his groove and bakes a great batch of cookies! He calls his comfort friends and after a vent session he feels better and they suggest baking together. "How about Snickerdoodles?" He likes thick and chewy big ol' bakery style cookies.

Why Diavolo? There was a chat where he was part of a sleep away exchange at HoL (Lucifer wouldn't let him room with him 😓) and when he baked he had eggshells in it. He mistook salt for sugar and made perfectly spherical cookies in Nightbringer (they pair well with Demonus.) Diavolo's Salty Balls if Barbatos wasn't lurking nearby he would not think twice about eating the forbidden raw cookie dough and will pay the price for it tomorrow. If Barbatos was observing/teaching he would all of a sudden discover that his errors or mistakes would be magically fixed (Because sometimes Barbatos CANNOT ABIDE Diavolo making or learning from mistakes. He just can't help himself sometimes either, like a compulsion 😔) He likes crisp chocolate chip cookies, which is fortunate because that was exactly what he got.

Okay this one I have been waiting for. I am no better than the plot writers with Lucifer 😂

Why Barbatos? Barbatos does not have a dishwasher machine (he is the dishwasher) even as of OM (it was mentioned in a Sweets Masters chat that I forgot the name of 🥲) so imagine with me if you will that he was not aware that they radiate heat outside of the machine, not just in your face when you open it before the drying cycle is finished...

He has been enjoying THE HELL out of his new dishwasher this week. He's in a good mood, the Little D staff are miraculously well behaved despite now having 2+ hours freed up from no longer washing dishes by hand. Hm... (give them more breaks, please. Rest and recess is good for productivity, workplace rapport and emotional health.)

Today the Young Master's treat shall be his own recipe for Decadent Devildom Chocolate Chip Cookies.

While the ingredients are warming to room temperature he does the dirty dishes that were brought in shamefacedly by Little D no. 4 that he had hidden in the library while he was binge reading...5 days worth of them. That's forgivable because he now has an excuse to run his beautiful, large scale industrial dishwasher again! What he doesn't realize though is that it would heat the countertop. It melted his butter and chocolate chips.

Not missing a beat he melts the chocolate down in a double boiler and chills it in the refrigerator on a baking sheet (They had a refrigerator already. One mention is in the Barbatos chat that I forgot the name of with Diavolo's Opaque Mysterious Refrigerated Container) while it chills and the butter warms *properly* on a unheated surface. He goes and monitors Diavolo, anticipates that he may need to scold him. Surprisingly Diavolo is ahead of schedule! Inspection of the Little D's reveals that they have performed well above standard (because as stated R and R is goodddd) Wow....all is going well today!

The result is Chunky Chopped Chocolate Chip Cookies! Milk and Cookies for everyone to reward them for their hard work and a sweet happy ending!

Edit: Proofread your insomnia writing 6x. Better yet read it out loud! Or else you will be like me and gnash your teeth over forgotten words, disorganized sentence structure and typoes that you're still finding the next day and too tired to fully fix.

I love my super fun run on sentences and adjective overkill 😂 They make me oddly happy.

[gaystan]

average catg segment

CLYDE: Okay, so, before I forget, okay.

JIMMY: (laughing)

CLYDE: The other day, I can’t believe I haven’t told you guys this yet. So I was eating at McDonald’s for breakfast,

TOLKIEN: McDonald’s for breakfast?

CLYDE: When I sat down for my feast a guy walked into the door, looked at me and said, “Idiot can’t even make his own pancakes. How pathetic,” and walked out.

JIMMY: (laughing)

CLYDE: Don’t laugh at that!

CRAIG: I mean, it’s a- it’s a power play.

CLYDE: I tried to enjoy my meal, but all I could taste were dejection and tears. How can I track this guy down, explain how restaurants work, project the image of a man who definitely understands the concept of making pancakes to every stranger I encounter?

CRAIG: (laughing)

TOLKIEN: Here’s the thing. This thing this person did was… wrong? But also, I think very funny maybe? Also?

JIMMY: I think the alternative is you walk into a Pizza Hut and go “These fuckin’ idiots don’t know how to make their own pizza, BYE!”

TOLKIEN: There’s a nicer way of doing this. Walk into a McDonald’s. See someone eating a stack of pancakes. Hand them a recipe for pancakes, and then walk out.

CRAIG: Mhm.

JIMMY: That’s the suh-suh-sweet way of doing it, you’re right, Tolkien. You walk in, you hand them a recipe for pancakes, and you say, “for next time!”

CLYDE: (Laughing) For next time, try this!

CRAIG: I wanna be.

TOLKIEN: If you do it wrong, they’re crepes.

CRAIG: I wanna be in the head of the person who’s walking by McDonald’s, sees someone eating a stack of pancakes, is like, “I gotta go in there and say something.”

CLYDE: Fuckin’ double parks-

JIMMY: (doing a voice) Victoria, just go ‘round the block. I’m just- I’m just gonna be a sec.

CLYDE: I think he went in wanting to buy something, and just-

CRAIG: Pancakes are very easy to make at home-

TOLKIEN: Deceptively. Deceptively difficult, Craig.

CRAIG: You didn’t learn how to cook until you were twenty-three,

TOLKIEN: Getting the right pan temperature?

JIMMY: Now, it is undeniable that McDonald’s does have d-d-duh-dark, arcane, breakfast treats, that like, you tell me how they make that McGriddle, with the fuckin’, with the biscuit, with the syrup nugs,

CLYDE: They have these magical crystals of syrup-

JIMMY: A wuh- a wizard gave ‘em. A syrup wizard. A Canadian syrup wizard. A maplewitch. That’s why it was such a big deal when they did breakfast all day, ‘cause they’re burning through the non-renewable resource of syrup crystals so fast.

CLYDE: (doing a voice) You’ve run out of syrup crystals?? We’re running low on syrup crystals!! Call the maplewitch!

TOLKIEN: Clyde, it’s not funny that you got bullied and it’s not funny that this person was an ass. What’s funny is the idea of walking into a restaurant just- pre-angry, that people here are eating things that they could just as easily make at home.

CLYDE: (laughing)

CRAIG: Does he walk into autobody shops and say “Change your own oil! Idiots!”

TOLKIEN: Idiot doesn’t even know how to do a triple bypass!

JIMMY: Just saying, if this happened to me it would make my fucking week.

CLYDE: Really?? It totally bummed me out!!

JIMMY: Seriously?

CLYDE: I went to McDonald’s and someone put me on blast for eating pancakes at McDonald’s! I felt-

CRAIG: Let’s start with the big problem. One, you’re eating in the McDonald’s.

CLYDE: We’ve talked about- yeah. You guys have found some problems with eating inside the fast food establishment.

JIMMY: Fast food restaurants are, by definition, a gun that sh-shoo-shoots burgers at you.

CLYDE: So for you to go inside the gun and retrieve the burgers like a dragon’s horde, is, um-

TOLKIEN: What if it was at a different location? Something nice?

CLYDE: If a stranger yells at me about the food I’m eating I’m not gonna give a fuck- I don’t care if I’m at the Jiro Dreams of Sushi restaurant. Somebody kicks in the door and is like, “Can’t make your own sushi!” I’m like, “Oh, my dinner’s ruined.”

CRAIG: You’re at the fancy sushi place and a guy says you can’t even make your own sushi and your first reaction is “he’s right” ?

CLYDE: No, my first reaction would be, “Oh no, a stranger yelled at me.” How are you not getting that? I don’t want a stranger to yell at me in any situation, any circumstance!

[tdciago]

Fargo: C and Ch

(Originally posted to Reddit on 1/20/24)

I want to point out a couple of significant things that Noah Hawley did with alphabet letters in the finale. You can reject my interpretation of their meaning, but we should at least acknowledge that they were done.

The first is the absence of the letter C, but its repeated use as a sound in a spoken phrase.

The episode title, Bisquik, leaves the letter c out of the brand name, even though we've seen the correct spelling on the box several times during season 5, and the product has been mentioned many times.

Lorraine, in her description of Roy's punishment, mentions that she's helping prisoners in cell blocks D, B, and A, but not C. Once again, the C is missing.

During the scene in Dot's house, the phrase "across the sea" is spoken three times. If we think of sea as c, this phrase becomes part of the motif that highlights the letter c in this episode. We've also had references to "seeing" throughout this season, including eye patches and complete blindness, or lack of seeing/c-ing.

One of the meanings of C is cancer, as in the big C. Roy has said, "Cancer can't survive outside of the body," and Jordan Seymore repeatedly emphasized that he had cancer, and that, "I need this cancer out of me!"

Cigarette smoking is a major cause of cancer, and Lorraine gives Roy a pack of cigarettes with the fictional brand name Original, as in "original sin."

This "gift" can be seen as paying off the Trojan horse idea that was depicted in the shot through the windmill blades, showing two buildings on the ranch configured like a Trojan horse. The blades of the windmill itself look like matches with red tips, and the windmill is a gravesite. We can associate this with the cancer-causing cigarettes accepted by Roy. They are presented as a gift (because he can theoretically use them to bargain away abuse), but they are actually something harmful, just like a Trojan horse.

Munch also mentions being approached by a man with a "wealthy horse" to be given food and two coins. This was also a Trojan horse, because the food was actually sin.

Munch's sins are like a cancer that he can't get out of him.

Now for the second unusual thing with letters in the finale.

In the space of a few minutes, we hear the words chili, cheddar, chopsticks, chocolate, chimpanzees, and choice. That's an odd assortment of words, particularly the decision to include chopsticks and chimpanzees. What's going on with all those ch words?

The letter combination ch is a digraph: "two letters used to represent one sound," from Greek di- "twice" (from PIE root *dwo- "two") + -graph "something written," from Greek graphe "writing," from graphein "to write, express by written characters," earlier "to draw, represent by lines drawn" (see -graphy)."

I've theorized that season 5 is a story being written by Gaear Grimsrud, the kidnapper and killer of Jean Lundegaard in the Fargo movie, and that he was representing himself in the narrative as two characters: Ole Munch and Roy Tillman.

Munch is the pancake lover who just wants some peace and quiet. Roy is the domineering Marlboro Man side of Gaear, who commits ruthless murders.

In the movie, another character says of Gaear, "You know, he looked like the Marlboro Man." She proposes that this may be a subconscious thing, "'cause he smoked a lot of Marlboros." And Noah Hawley described Roy's look as the Marlboro Man.

The purpose of writing this story would be to pay a debt to Jean in the only way possible now, and to gain her forgiveness and hopefully some measure of redemption.

Just as Dot (who represents Jean) gives Munch the biscuit and speaks of forgiveness, the movie theme music kicks in. The victim has forgiven the perpetrator. In the previous episode, the perpetrator literally pulled the victim from the grave, resurrecting her in the form of this fictional character, Dorothy Lyon.

The only thing left now is redemption. So Munch eats the biscuit and is apparently freed from the curse of sin. At the same time, Roy (his other half) is damned to eternal hell for the crimes he has committed.

So there is both acknowledgement of Gaear's crimes, and recognition that they deserve punishment, but also some measure of salvation in the fact that his victim forgives him.

This is my interpretation of the finale. I also believe these events are taking place, within the story, as a bardo in the afterlife, a liminal transition space in which earthly trauma and sins can be worked out before reincarnation, much like Camp Utopia was for the abused women in Linda. As Munch says, "This is the other side."

We've had various discussions before about reincarnation and cycles, and if we look back, there are a lot of hints along the way that could point to smoking and cancer. I think this is what the author is dying from.

However you interpret the finale, we should recognize that Noah Hawley was trying to convey something with his emphasis on C and Ch.