#i get it we love the trauma forest | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ellecdc · 2 months ago

Note

Black!reader that is “I don’t smoke” (mitski) because if their parents ‘you need to be mean be mean to her me, she I can take it and put it inside of me’

hi babes, this was my take on Black!reader who was always hurting on behalf of everyone else. this fic is very angsty compared to my usual standards, so please keep that in mind before reading, and mind the warnings. of course, as typical on ellecdc we have a happy/hopeful ending

Remus Lupin x Black!sister reader after The Prank™ [4.7k words]

CW: The Prank™, Black family trauma, the Marauders aren't speaking to each other, depressive episodes and self-loathing, siblings get quasi-violent/threats of violence? but for a good cause?, Remus' typical self-loathing, discussion of forgiveness and hatred, breaking up [not pictured] and making up [pictured]

The worst part-

Though, even the thought caused Sirius to scoff humourlessly, because what could possibly be the worst part of this? What could possibly be any ‘more worse’ than the worst thing he’d ever done?

Still, Sirius supposed, wand to his head, the worst thing about all of this would be the fact that Sirius didn’t regret it. Not really.

If anything, he only felt stronger in his conviction that Snape deserved to be mauled violently to death.

Yet…

Yet he didn’t find he felt particularly good about it all; about the way Remus woke up with new, deep, angry scars across his face courtesy of The Wolf who finally had a chance at a meal only to have that stolen before he turned on himself, about the way he looked at Sirius with an expression of pure unadulterated betrayal and then fury when he realised what he had done, about the three well aimed hits he took from James, nor about the way he had to listen through the door as Remus ended your relationship with you, officially giving into all of his deep-seeded self-loathing and beliefs that no one could or should possibly accept him.

And all Sirius managed to do was prove that to be true; that Remus couldn’t trust anyone. And as a result, he robbed you of the only love you had access to save what little you received from Regulus and Sirius.

So perhaps Sirius regretted that, but without access to a Time Turner, there was nothing to be done.

There was nothing to be done.

James had told him that “until he made things right with Remus, he wanted nothing to do with him”, and while he didn’t blame James, Sirius knew he was officially on his own because there would be no ‘making things right’. There was nothing right, not with Sirius, at least.

Everything about Sirius was wrong.

There was nothing to be done.

He brought the cigarette back up to his lips, the sensitive skin at the corner of his mouth cracking painfully as he took a drag. He appreciated the sting as his teeth started to taste like iron; the pain was both a welcome reminder and a distraction of his inner turmoil as he kept his gaze on the grounds below him.

He couldn’t look at the common room; the red and gold that once felt like home had faded into shades of grey. He couldn’t look in a mirror; his permanently downturned lips and angry eyes found him looking more like his father than he did himself. He couldn’t look at his hands; they were blistered and cracked from his tryst in the forest where he emptied his lungs by screaming until he was choking on air and punching uselessly at a tree.

He couldn’t look at any of his friends, because they couldn’t even look at him; they hated him.

He was hated.

Sirius began to wonder how many more classes he could miss before McGonagall followed through on her threats to write home when the portrait hole opened.

He couldn’t look, though. Because he was hated.

“Aren’t you meant to be in class?” He heard you call to him, listening to your measured steps as you made your way to his spot on a windowsill.

“I could ask the same of you.” He gruffed; voice cracking from disuse, from chain smoking, and from the perpetual tightness he had felt since That Night.

“What are you doing, Sirius?” You sighed; you were exhausted. Exhausted of him.

He was exhausted too.

“I’m minding my business, Y/N.” He spat back, stubbing out his smoke before lighting another one with a snap of his fingers. “You should try it sometime.”

With a wave of your hand, the smoke was gone.

“What the fuck?”

“Get up.” You ordered simply, and Sirius shook his head at you.

“Go back to the dungeons.”

“No.”

“I’m not in the fucking mood, Y/N.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Great, neither am I.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“And I don’t want to be here,” You agreed, voice rising at Sirius’ petulance, “but I’ve got a brother who decided to stop functioning a few weeks ago, so here I am.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“You smell.”

“Yeah well, you’re ugly.” Sirius sneered, pulling out another cigarette only for you to vanish the entire pack.

“When was the last time you showered?” You demanded, and Sirius refused to look at you.

“Hm? Or changed? Or ate? When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”

Sirius kept his gaze pointed at the grounds outside.

“Sirius. Your hair is greasy, you smell stale, you look gaunt, and…they’re going to write home.”

“Good.” Sirius spat quickly. “As they should.”

“Is that what you want, Sirius? You want more people to be mad at you? More people to punish you?”

He didn’t answer.

“You’re already doing that enough for the rest of us.” You sighed, attempting to grab him by the arm only for him to shove you away.

“Get away from me, Y/N, I mean it.”

“No, get up.”

“Fuck off.”

“Now.” You nearly growled, and Sirius turned to see you aiming your wand in his direction, surprising a sarcastic laugh from him.

“What? Gonna hex me? Or are you gonna skip right to the Unforgivables, hm? Maybe an imperio? Or are you going to try some negative reinforcement? A crucio for disobedience? Salope stupide, de plus en plus comme ma mère chérie chaque jour.” (translation: stupid bitch, more and more like mother dearest every day)

Sirius flinched as you quickly raised your hand, prepared for a blow that you never landed.

He looked back to see you standing there, hand poised like it was ready to hit him as you stared at him defiantly; your cool, piercing eyes so much like his own, but the displeased pinch of your mouth was that of your mother.

“Is that what you want, Sirius? Huh? You want to be walloped a few more times on the nose so that everyone knows what a bad dog you are? You want to be punished for your misdeeds? Maybe get a few more of these?” And you punctuated your question by roughly grabbing at his jaw, fingers pressing into the painful bruises still colouring his cheeks courtesy of James. “That’s why you haven’t bothered healing them, yeah? So that everyone who sees will know what a right bastard you are."

He smacked your hand away with one arm and shoved you away from him with the other.

“Or,” you continued - rather unphased by Sirius’ aggression - grabbing his balled up fist and bringing it up to your own face, “is it me you want to hit, hm? You want everyone else to hurt just as badly as you are? The world has been just terrible to you Sirius, you were dealt an awful hand! You just want everyone to suffer for it; to pay for the wrongs done to you.”

“Stop it.” Sirius hissed, trying to yank his hand away from you to no avail.

“Hit me then, Sirius. Hit me. You wanna give into that Black Darkness? Want to be just as bad as they are? Just as bad as they’ve painted you to be? Go ahead.”

“Stop.”

“Then get up.”

“Y/N…” He warned.

“Get up, Sirius.”

“I hate you.” He spat, and your jaw tightened but you rolled your eyes as if you found him to be quite tiresome.

“Yeah, well, I don’t like you very much right now either.”

He stood then, giving you no time to get out of his way before he was towering over you. You never faltered, though. He let you grab him by the sleeve of his shirt, he let you drag him up the stairs towards his dormitory - somewhere he hadn’t been since That Night, opting instead to sleep on the couches, a time or two in the room of requirement, and one night in the Shrieking Shack as Padfoot - and he let you bodily shove him into the boys’ bathroom.

“Get in the shower, Sirius.”

“Sunny, please.”

“I’m not asking.” You said firmly. “Get in the shower.”

“I can’t.”

You swore under your breath as you dragged him over to the shower stall, said nothing as he went no bones and sunk to the floor, and simply turned the shower on, soaking you both.

“Y/N, stop.”

“Sirius, if you’re not going to take care of yourself, I will. Those are your choices.” You said defiantly, staring down at him as your school uniform became more and more drenched and your hair started sticking to the side of your neck.

Sirius let out a sigh and rested his head against his knees, and you accepted his relenting as the acquiescence it was.

You pointed the shower head at him and began lathering soap into his hair before doing much the same with the conditioner.

Sirius let the soap burn his eyes; welcomed it, even. He did nothing to help you with your tasks, though you didn’t ask him to. He did, however, draw the line at you trying to disrobe him.

“These need to come off, Sirius.” You said, pulling at his uniform shirt like something disgusting you found in a gutter.

“And I will take them off once you’re no longer staring at me.” He growled, causing you to scoff a humourless laugh.

“Like hells I’m letting you out of my sight again.”

Sirius simply groaned.

“How are you going to wash your body, Sirius? Please don’t tell me you’re going to make me do that too.��

Sirius ripped the bar of soap out of your hands and glared at you as he shoved it beneath his clothes, washing himself the best he could under his sopping wet uniform.

Though he was more than likely still sudsy, you shut the water off and vanished what water you could from both of your beings; each of your heads and uniforms still dripping wet as you flung open the bathroom door and marched across the hall.

Sirius’ mouth ran dry when you knocked on their dormitory door; somewhere between you confronting him in the common room and forcing him to bathe, classes seemed to have ended.

He should’ve flung himself out of the common room window when he had the chance; he couldn’t see Remus, James, or Peter. They hated him.

He was hated.

Remus wouldn’t talk to any of them, and James and Peter weren’t talking to Sirius. Even though Remus had told them he didn’t want them “taking sides”, he didn’t seem too bothered watching Sirius get iced out.

Because he hated him.

Sirius was hated.

“Oh…hi, Y/N…” James offered awkwardly as he opened the door.

You barely spared him a glance. “Potter.” You greeted simply as you dipped under his arm which had been holding the door open and marched towards Sirius’ bed.

Remus pulled his head through the hole of his jumper as he watched you start digging through Sirius’ trunk, sharing a quick glance with James and Peter before his gaze moved to Sirius all but cowering in the doorframe.

“Are you…wet?” Peter asked cautiously then, all three boys staring at you in bemusement as you packed up a duffle.

“Yeah.” You responded simply, throwing Sirius a towel that he (thankfully) caught as everyone’s eyes fell to him.

Sirius quickly ran the towel over his person as you let his trunk close with a loud thunk, hiked the bag you packed for him over your shoulder, and stalked out of the dorm room without sparing any of the boys - including your ex boyfriend - a passing glance.

“Don’t you hate me?” Sirius whispered as he allowed you to lead him to the Slytherin dorms.

“No, Sirius. I hate what you did.” You sighed, never faltering in your steps but strengthening your hold on your brother's wrist. “I love you, that’s why I’m here.”

Remus had tried telling Peter and James to leave him alone; he wanted to be alone.

Yet somehow, every morning, the two of them would sit across from him in the Great Hall, say hello, and then talk amongst themselves whilst pretending he wasn’t there.

That was fine, though. Remus was sort of pretending he wasn’t there, too.

But while Remus could ignore James and Peter’s existence, Sirius’ existence, and even his own if he really tried hard enough, he couldn’t ignore your existence.

He’d been more than slightly confused when you stormed into his dorm room last night completely drenched without your eyes ever cutting to him and packed up a bag for your equally drenched brother.

He’d been more than slightly hurt when you left without sparing him a glance, too. Though he figured perhaps he deserved that. This is what he wanted, right?

Scratch that, actually, what he had wanted was to be safe and loved and protected by the people who promised to do that for him. That was what he had wanted.

It wasn’t until Peter and James paused in their conversation to look at Remus concernedly that he realised he had caused his tea to overflow by means of accidental magic.

Remus threw a wad of napkins at the mess as he made to stand, but his legs felt wholly incapable of holding him up when he saw you enter the Great Hall, quickly followed by a rather dispirited looking Sirius who nearly bumped into you as you paused at the entrance.

Your gaze automatically fell to the Slytherin table where Regulus was shooting you and Sirius a perturbed look.

You turned then towards the Gryffindor table when your gaze fell to Remus.

He found himself unable to break your gaze; he wondered if you could see the heartbreak pooling in his eyes, or the longing painted in the space between his brows.

He wondered if you could even manage to see past the new, ferocious scars decorating his face.

He certainly couldn’t.

Your shoulders fell as you shook your head - so minutely that Remus wondered if he had only imagined it - before you grabbed Sirius’ sleeve and dragged him towards the Ravenclaw table where both Pandora and Benjy accepted the pair of you without issue.

He was simultaneously grateful that neither of you were sitting over here and furious that the two of you deigned to sit anywhere else. You were his; his friend, and his girlfriend, you were supposed to be here with him.

But he didn’t want either of you over here, he didn’t want…

He didn’t…

“Moony?” James asked cautiously.

“Don’t call me that.” Remus spat before he stood abruptly and stormed out of the Great Hall.

He never wanted any of this; sure, he wanted to go to school, but he never wanted friends. He didn’t need friends, he’d never had them before. He met some kind kids on the train who ended up being his roommates, but he was ready and willing to hold them at arm's length.

And then…

And then he found that he rather liked their company, and that they seemed to enjoy his. And then he found that he cared for them, and that they seemed to care for him. And then they found out, and they were accepting of him. And then they did the impossible and found a way to be there for him like no one else before, they showed up for him in ways no one else had ever tried, in ways he never imagined possible.

And then he fell in love, and then…

And then.

And then one of the worst people Remus could imagine to know learned of his darkest secret, his biggest shame, his lifelong curse.

And he learned that from one of his best friends; Snape learned of Remus’ darkest secret, biggest shame, and lifelong curse from one of his best friends.

And suddenly, everything everyone had ever said about lycanthropy was true; he was a monster, unloveable, a threat and hazard to everyone around him.

And as he paused in front of a window where he could see his reflection - three violent claw marks stretching from his left eye across the bridge of his nose down over his lips - the monster stared back at him.

He was a beast. He was a monster playing dress up; cosplaying as a wizard day in and day out when in reality, deep down, he was a vicious, disgusting freak.

And now everyone knew it; Sirius knew it, you knew it, Snape knew it.

And for those who didn’t know it, they could suspect it; rumours flying around of how Remus managed to be mauled by some creature and survive to tell the tale, because the only thing scarier than a beast among men is a man that can take on a beast and live to tell the tale.

The worst part-

But the thought made Remus snort humourlessly, because really, how could there be a worst part of any of this? What could possibly be ‘more worse’ than the worst thing to ever happen to him, second only to being bitten all those years ago.

But Remus supposed, wand to his head, that the worst part of all of this was losing you.

Remus let out another humourless chuckle as he let his head fall with a thunk against the windowpane.

And the absolute fucking kicker was that losing you had been his own doing.

For the first time in perhaps five days, you were alone.

You sat in the farthest corner of the library near rows of tomes with enough layers of dust on them to promise you some solitude as you waited for Sirius’ meeting with McGonagall to end.

You’d convinced him (rather forced him) to start attending his classes again, though you were certain he wasn’t exactly a delight to have in the classroom at the moment. You only hoped it was enough for the school to refrain from writing home.

You dropped your quill and pressed your fingers into your eyes hard enough to see stars. Sirius was displeased with you for ordering him about. Regulus was displeased with you for babysitting Sirius and ‘cleaning up’ after him. Your parents were displeased with you seemingly because you were born with free will. Your professors were displeased with you for submitting sloppy work because you spent the majority of your time doing Sirius’ for him in order to keep him from being expelled. Your roommates were displeased with you for smuggling a dog into your room for the past week, even though he was very well behaved and slept dutifully on the end of your bed. And Remus…

And Remus.

He had looked so hollow and… dead when he told you this needed to end, that he couldn’t see you anymore. You didn’t think he was capable of occlusion, but that was the only thing that could possibly explain how he could manage to look at you like you didn’t even matter to him anymore.

Perhaps you didn’t.

You didn’t matter.

Perhaps you were too much like your brother; he couldn’t forgive him, so you were unforgivable too. Perhaps you were just too much of a Black for him; perhaps he realised the mistake in keeping your kind around.

You couldn’t blame him, you supposed.

You were a tiresome bunch. You didn’t often want to keep your kind around, either.

You shook yourself out of your pity party and returned to your notes, only to watch as Remus pulled out a chair opposite of you at your table.

“The library’s plenty large, Lupin; I’m sure if you looked harder you could find another table.” you offered, hoping for indignation but landing somewhere around disheartened.

“Is Sirius alright?” He murmured quietly, and you forced your eyes up to meet his.

He looked dead tired; his eyes were sunken and his skin was missing its warm glow. But in his eyes laid an earnestness that had you remembering just how wholly safe and full you felt whenever you found yourself pinned beneath his gaze.

You quickly looked away.

“Not really.” You replied honestly. “But I think he deserves that.”

Remus made a noncommittal sound as he continued staring at the top of your head; you couldn’t see it, mind you, but you could certainly feel it.

“And you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you alright?”

“Why?” You demanded, and you looked up in time to see Remus finally look down into his lap.

You stared at him as he wrung his hands in his lap while you catalogued the scars across his face. You wondered if where they landed over his eyes caused him any vision issues. You wondered what the ones over the bridge of his nose would feel like as you traced your fingertip over them. You wondered what the ones on his lips might feel like under your own.

You hated them, knowing that he did too, knowing how he came to have them. But you loved them because they were his, because it was him. Because you loved him.

“Are you alright?” You decided to ask then, and he looked up at you as if he was surprised you were still there.

“No.” He responded quickly.

“I’m sorry.” You offered, though you knew not what for. You really hadn’t done anything.

“How-” Remus started, though he quickly looked back down at his hands as he searched for the words.

You waited for him.

“How…can you help him?”

You felt your eyebrows furrow, because whatever you thought Remus might’ve been about to ask, it certainly wasn’t that.

“What?” You asked dumbly.

“How can you help Sirius? After all that he’s done?” He continued gently.

“I… because, Remus, someone has to.”

Remus nodded as he considered your response. “There’s a… part of me that feels as though you’re choosing him over me.”

“Remus. You chose; you made that decision for me. I didn’t choose anyone’s side.”

“So if we were still dating right now, would you have forgiven Sirius?”

“Forgiven?” You repeated incredulously. “Who said anything about forgiveness?”

Remus simply blinked at you owlishly.

“Remus, I cannot just sit here and let him whither away into nothing because I’m mad at him. He fucked up - big time - there’s no question about it. And deep down, I know he knows that too; that’s why he’s been torturing himself over it. There is no way in which I could treat him that would be worse than the way he’s treating himself right now. But I-”

You shook your head as you fought off the stinging in your sinuses; you did not want to cry in front of him.

“There is no one rooting for us, Remus. No one. You’re pissed at him - rightfully so, and completely justified - Potter and Pettigrew are pissed at him too, he’s pissed at himself and I… someone has to, Remus. Someone has to root for him, I can’t…I can’t just abandon him, not when there’s no one else.”

“I can’t… I can’t feel bad for him, Y/N.” Remus exclaimed helplessly.

“I’m not asking you to; I’m simply telling you why I do.”

“I don’t…I don’t know how to forgive him, dove, I don’t know how to not hate him for this.” He nearly sobbed, holding his hands out helplessly as if the grief and torment were tangible things that he could crush in the palm of his hands if only he could catch them. “Why don’t you hate him? Please tell me? Because I genuinely want to know. I need to know - I don’t…I don’t want to hate him.”

“He’s my brother, Rem.” You said simply, shrugging your shoulders helplessly. “I hate what he’s done, I hate the choice he made, I hate the outcome of that choice, I hate what he did to you, I hate what that’s done to me, but… but I don’t hate him. I can't hate him.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while; the only sounds coming from the odd book being magically sent back to its shelf and the odd voices from students downstairs when a study group got a touch too boisterous.

“Do you hate me?” Remus whispered then; your eyes flit up to meet his which were already steady on you.

“No, Remus.” You whispered back.

He nodded as his gaze fell. “Just what I did?”

Your lip quirked in the faintest ghost of a smirk. “Yes I…I sort of hated that, I suppose.”

“I don’t want to hate him.” He repeated.

“I know.”

“Do you-” Remus paused, turning away and screwing his eyes shut as you realised he was crying. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”

“Remus…”

“I was scared, and hurt, and angry, and-” he hiccuped, reaching across the table as he nearly begged for your hand. You gave it willingly. “-and I hated him but I mostly hated myself.”

“I know, Rem.”

“Please? Do you…do you think you’d be able to forgive me? For leaving, for running, for abandoning you? You’ve never once given up on the people important to you and one bad thing happens to me and…and I just throw you away, I-” He looked at you as if he was only realising all of this now; hurt, frustration, anger, and betrayal all on your behalf flickered behind his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Remus.” You insisted, but he quickly shook his head at you.

“It’s not; it’s not okay, I- … I’m not as gracious as you, clearly, but I just…I just feel like if you’re strong enough to forgive me then there’s…there’s hope for me, too. That maybe I can be strong enough to forgive Sirius.”

“You’re forgiven, Remus.”

His eyes fell shut as more tears fell, but you were sure it was more from relief than it was from pain.

Both boys - Remus and Sirius - were so good at torturing themselves over choices they’ve made that you were certain no one else would ever have to as long as they both should live.

And for different reasons, you loved them both beyond measure.

“I don’t deserve forgiveness.” Remus whispered.

“Of course you do.” You countered, squeezing his hand in yours and watching as some of the tension in his shoulders dissipated.

“Does Sirius?” He asked quietly, keeping his eyes pointed at where your joined hands sat on the table between you.

You’re not sure when or how you became the leading expert on conflict resolution and forgiveness; perhaps it was in refereeing Sirius and Regulus’ petty squabbles growing up, perhaps it was in shielding Regulus from your parents fury, perhaps it was in trying to tame Sirius enough to keep him out of trouble, perhaps it was in being the youngest cousin along with Regulus and watching the siblings before you find their own ways to define what was right and good, perhaps…perhaps it came from the many examples of conflict and spite that you had witnessed growing up.

“I don’t know, Rem.” You answered honestly. “I think…I think the only one who can really know that is you.”

If he was displeased by your answer, he didn’t show it.

“But,” you continued cautiously, “I don’t think you have to forgive him for what he’s done. You just have to decide whether you’re going to hate him for it or love him in spite of it.”

His lips pursed, pulling at scars both new and old in ways you’re not sure you’d ever grow tired of watching, as he nodded. “I don’t want to hate him.”

“I know, Rem.”

“I don’t want James or Peter to hate him either…I don’t know why they were willing to watch him wither away like that.”

You couldn’t hide your smile at that; the first genuine smile since That Night. “They don’t, and they weren’t.” You countered, only moving to explain when he looked at you in bemusement. “They were the ones who told me how bad he was getting…they wanted to make sure someone was looking after him without giving into his pity party.”

“Always taking care of everyone else, hm?” Remus murmured at you, bringing your hand up to his lips to press a delicate kiss to your knuckles.

You simply hummed noncommittally.

“Can I return the favour?”

“You can certainly try, but I’m quite high maintenance.” You teased gently.

“That’s alright.” He agreed quickly. “You’re more than worth the effort.”

You breathed out a quiet laugh through your nose. “Whatever you say, Lupin.”

726 notes · View notes

larluce · 10 months ago

Text

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 (you're here) , PART 7

A little reminder that Merlin was a tree for over a decade before travelling back in time, though he doesn't remember it and also Arthur's traumas of that time.

In Gaius's tower

Gaius: (checking Merlin, after Arthur insisted something was wrong with him) No sickness or injuries. He's perfectly fine, sire.

Merlin: (to Arthur) See? I told you it was nothing.

Arthur: It was not NOTHING. Merlin, you fainted.

Merlin: I just tripped.

Arthur: Because you fainted! And before that you were in pain.

Merlin: I was not!

Arthur: Yes, you were! Everytime we go hunting or camping you have headaches and pains. Don't you dare lie!

Merlin: (sighs) Alright, fine. It's true. I don't know why it happens, but it's not unbearable. And you heard Gaius, there’s nothing fisically wrong with me.

Arthur: As far as we know. (To Gaius) Check him again.

Merlin rolls his eyes. He loves that this Athur is more caring and protective of him, but sometimes it was too much, honestly. He even carried him all the way here like he was some maid in distress.

Gaius: Perhaps is an external factor that it’s causing this. Like some particular smell of a flower, for example?

Merlin: (shakes his head) I don't think so. We're never in the same place. The flora and fauna changes from one place to another.

Gaius: There must be a common factor. When do you feel this pains and headaches exactly?

Merlin: (purses his lips, not wanting to say)

Arthur: Merlin.

Merlin: I don't think is related.

Arthur: Merlin.

Merlin: (sighs) when a living thing dies. Like a bird, or a plant.

Arthur: When a living thing- (between horrified and mad) Merlin, I've been killing animals in your face for WEEKS! And you tell me this NOW?!

Merlin: I'm telling you I don't think it's related! I mean, it can't be related. It's ridiculous. And it never happened to me before.

That's not entirely true but not entirely a lie either. He has always been sensitive to nature. That's why he always hated when Arthur hunted animals just for fun. But he has never been THIS sensitive to the point he almost feel the same pain these creatures feel. Not until he came back in time. Maybe this is another price he has to pay for his deal with the sidhes or it's just a time travel side effect. The pains could be random as far as he knows.

Gaius: Well, there’s only one way to find out.

Later in the forest. Gaius is next to a tree with a chicken in one arm and an ax in the other. Merlin and Arthur look at him, insecure.

Merlin: Is this really necessary?

Gaius: I'm sorry, my boy, but we won't know for sure until we test it. (Apologetic smile) If it makes you feel better, it was going to die anyways for today's dinner.

Merlin: And you're going to cut down these flowers too? 🥺

Gaius: Not in vain. They’re medicine and they'll grow up again.

Merlin: Okay (takes a deep breath) I'm ready.

Arthur: (worried, holding his hand and stroking it comfortingly) Are you sure?

Merlin: (Nods and smiles) I just want to get this over with.

Gaius: Very well. Merlin, turn your back to me. Arthur, hold him in place and look his reaction closely.

They both do as told, Arthur holding Merlin by the shoulders, firmly but gently, his fingers caressing Merlin's neck under the neckerchief.

Arthur: (his face inches from Merlin's) Just look at me, alright?

Merlin: (blushes and just nods)

Gaius: (Kills the chicken)

Merlin: (his face flinches)

Arthur: Are you okay?

Merlin: (nods) It did hurt. But not as bad as I thought it would.

Gaius: We can check animals then. (Makes some notes and then cuts some flowers)

Merlin: (whimpers a little)

Arthur: (concern) Merlin.

Merlin: It's fine. But it hurt a little more for some reason.

Gaius: Interesting... (takes notes) "plants hurt more than animals"

Merlin: (sighs. To Arthur) You can say it.

Arthur: (confused) What?

Merlin: That I'm a petticoat... or a freak... For being like this.

Arthur: That's not true. You just have a... (looking for the right words) an unusual medical condition. Like Morgana with her nightmares.

Merlin: (snorts) At least her condition is useful. How am I supposse to accompany you in your hunting trips if I get like this all the time?

Arthur: Oh, there won't be more hunting trips. They’re cancel. Forever.

Merlin: What?! 😨 But you love hunting trips!

Arthur: (shrugs) It was never really that fun anyways.

Merlin knows that's not true, but doesn't say anything, to moved with Arthur's action he wants to cry. Arthur's holding him close still, their foreheads touching. They lose into each others eyes. But just as they’re leaning closer-

Gaius: (sticks the ax in a tree)

Merlin: AAAAAAARGH! (Screams and curls in pain)

Arthur: (Hugs him in distress) Merlin! (To Gaius furiously) What did you do?!

Gaius: Merlin! (Running to them) My boy, I'm so sorry! I've been cutting other plants and killing some bugs and you didn't seem to feel it. I just thought-

Merlin: (cries histerically) NOOO! (pushes Arthur and Gaius aside and runs to the tree) YOU HAD NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT TO HURT HER LIKE THIS! (Looks at Gaius, face contort in fury but with tears running down his eyes. Then he turns to the tree and takes the ax out of the trunk desperatly. When he finishes he sees the hole in the trunk and falls to his knees, sobing)

Gaius: ... It seems that trees trigger him more than anything. I've never heard of any sickness like this. Perhaps someone put a spell on him. Or a curse.

Arthur: (completely pale)

Gaius: Sire?

Athur: (murmuring, very scared) It... it can't be...

Gaius: Sire, are you alright? You're pale.

Arthur: I have to go. I'm sorry.(runs off)

Gaius: Sire! Sire! (Sighs and sits next to Merlin, who is now just sniffing quietly. He pats his backs, full of guilt) I'm so sorry, Merlin. Does it still hurt?

Merlin: (shakes his head) Not anymore. (caress the bark of the tree with a sad smile) She says she forgives you. She understands why you did it.

Gaius: (surprised) You're talking about the tree? You can speak to it-I mean, her?

Merlin: (nods, just as surprised at his new discovered ability) It's kind of like mind speak. But there is no voice in my head or really words. Just feelings.

Gaius: Incredible!

Merlin: Don't tell Arthur any of this though. He'll realise I have magic for sure. Or just think I'm insane.

Gaius: He seemed very torned up before leaving.

Merlin: (worried) You think he figured it out?

Gaius: I don't think so. I'll have a fake diagnosis for you in the afternoon just in case.

Merlin: (sighs) I can't believe my magic is doing this to me. Maybe I am cursed. (Thinking) What the hell did the sidhes do to me?!

Gaius: You just discover a new power, my boy. Once you know how to control it, it'll be more an advantage than a disadvatage.

#merlin bbc #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #merlin fic #merlin fanfic #merlin prompt #merthur fic #arthur and merlin #merlin and arthur #merthur fanfic #Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

591 notes · View notes

nerdallwritey · 9 days ago

Text

About to Strike (Part 1)

***IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: ONCE AGAIN I've yapped too much and this chapter became longer than tumblr likes, so I've split it into two posts. It's the same drill as Cheeks All Flushed: The smut is in the other part if you'd rather skip shenanigans and Get To Business. And that's valid! Part 2 is here and also linked down below. Apologies! It IS all in one place on AO3 if you'd prefer that!

Summary: Before Astarion could protest more, you took a sip of the drink. He gasped. “Darling, what do you think you’re doing?” “Building trust,” you said, smiling at Jaheira. Her features echoed your own and she took a sip as well. “Ah, what the hells,” Karlach said. “Bottoms up!” She downed her own goblet. “You’re all idiots and I hope you die,” Astarion crossed his arms. OR The gang finally makes their way into the Shadow Cursed Lands.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 21.3k (This particular part is 10.7k) CW: smut, reader is new to sex, piv sex, oral (male receiving), hand job, vaginal fingering, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, mild angst, protective Astarion, soft Astarion, whimpering Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), lots of party banter, AND JAHEIRA!! Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 and 2 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 6 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: SURPRISE! Part 6 is COMPLETE and she's A LOT. The back half is mainly smut and feelings and Astarion processing emotions a little which we LOVE to see. I hope to the gods that you guys find this to be a good followup to Worth the Peril, but I'm excited to FINALLY be in Act 2 and get into the big romantic scenes that happen there. Thank you all so much for sticking around and loving this goofy version of Astarion and his favorite bard :) You guys are the best and I adore and appreciate every single one of you! Please enjoy these silly little vignettes from the end of Act 1 and the start of Act 2! (Thank you as always to my beta @kermitwazowski for reading!) As a reminder, last time you got Mega Hurt in a fight and Astarion kind of took that personally.

Taglist: Moved to the comment section, since tumblr hates sharing fun with friends - please let me know if you'd like to be added to the list!

“Would you relax?” you whispered sharply to the vampire currently brooding to your right.

“How can I be when this… ancient woman just tried to murder you?” Astarion threw a dramatic hand forward, gesturing to Jaheira, who was walking in front of you towards the Last Light Inn. You all had just arrived at the well lit sanctuary in the Shadow Cursed Lands, only to be interrogated by the High Harper, and vouched for by Mol, who’d managed to find her way here as well.

“I handled it,” you hissed. “It’s going to be okay.”

“While I admire your optimism, darling, I still don’t trust her.”

Karlach buzzed behind you, clearly in disbelief. “Mate, you must be joking. That’s the Jaheira!”

Astarion slowed his pace a bit to meet Karlach’s eye. “And, I take it, you know the old crone?”

“Astarion!” Wyll sounded surprised. “You’ve lived in Baldur’s Gate longer than I have! And you don’t know the tales they tell of Jaheira and her party of adventurers?”

Your crew of seven came to a halt in front of a moss covered fountain to gawk at the elf.

He clicked his tongue. “Mmm… that’d be a no.”

“He’s lying,” Shadowheart rolled her eyes.

“I am not!”

Gale lifted a quizzical eyebrow. “Come now, Astarion, surely you’ve heard passing tales of the heroes of Baldur’s Gate? Or perhaps read a book of their exploits?”

Lae’zel narrowed her eyes. “I do not know of this ‘Jah-hee-rah’ person. Her heroics must not be that impressive if I have never heard of her.”

“Nor I,” Halsin cut in.

“Yes, well, being freakish outsiders from the Astral Plane and the middle of the forest will deprive you of basic history lessons.” Astarion crossed his arms.

You snorted. “So what’s your excuse?” The others snickered.

Astarion placed an annoyed hand on his hip. “Did you all forget that I was kept as a slave for two hundred years of pure misery and torture?”

The group remained silent for a moment before you stepped forward to kiss his cheek. “You’re still not over that?”

He smirked. “Would you believe it’s taking me a little longer than one might expect?”

“Shame,” you pouted. Then you looked at Karlach who was angling her head around the fountain to track where Jaheira had gone. “You want to enlighten these three, Karlach?”

Karlach looked back at you all and her eyes lit up with glee. “Oh, yes please!” She rolled her shoulders and bounced on her feet as if she were preparing for battle, rather than recounting basic Baldur’s Gate history. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “Years ago - over a century-”

You turned to Astarion and caught his eye. A century! your expression seemed to say.

Astarion shrugged his shoulders up to his ears and unwrapped one of his crossed arms to hold dramatically in front of himself. So what?

You rolled your eyes. So you should have been there!

He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. I don’t know what to tell you.

You huffed some hair out of your eyes and tuned back in to what Karlach was saying.

“-Jaheira was part of a group that saved Baldur’s Gate from Seravok - a Bhaalspawn trying to plunge the city into war.”

Once again, you caught Astarion’s eye. “And you don’t recall any of this?”

He pursed his lips as the others turned to look at him. “Now that you mention it, I vaguely recall tensions being rather high around the city all those years ago.”

“Liar,” Shadowheart accused again. “It had to be more apparent than that. Why don’t you just admit you know who Jaheira is?”

Astarion’s response was venomous: “I was kept on a very tight leash, thank you, so apologies for not getting the names of the heroes who ‘saved’ the city that kept me enslaved for another hundred years.”

You approached him quietly and took his hand. He scowled at Shadowheart but wrenched his gaze away to look at you. His expression softened mildly.

“It’s okay,” you said gently. “I’m sure she would have come for you and your siblings had she known.”

“Yes, probably come to kill us for being abominations,” he muttered, but squeezed your hand anyway.

“Ah, don’t be like that, Astarion,” Wyll said cheerfully. “I’m sure she would have helped you! You’re quite fun once you get past all the prickly bits.”

“Gee, thanks,” Astarion said flatly.

Karlach took the awkward silence that followed as an opportunity to keep fangirling. “My mum used to tell us stories all about them - the legends who protected the city from evil. She said Jaheira was a powerful druid. Adamant. Tough.”

“Probably a good ally to have on our side,” you said. Your companions nodded in agreement.

“I’ve told myself those stories thousands of times since,” Karlach continued. “I never thought I’d meet Jaheira. She’s a hero, and I was always… some Outer City kid.”

“Well, excellent news, Karlach,” Gale said. “Given our circumstances and the path we currently find ourselves on, it’s quite possible that we might be considered heroes one day.”

“Chk,” Lae’zel scoffed. “We don’t even know what we’re up against yet. It is likely some of you will perish before we are able to slay this unknown enemy.”

Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “Charming as always, Lae’zel.”

“I am not charming. I am merely stating fact.”

Halsin cleared his throat. “Another druid you say, Karlach?”

Karlach grinned and nodded. “She’s the best! Can’t believe she wants to talk to us about working together. What a day!”

And what a day it had been.

Or, tenday, more like.

~~~~~

The day after you’d told Astarion’s sleeping form that you loved him, he’d been nothing but clingy.

You awoke to find him still curled tightly into your side, but now he was fully awake, his eyes wide and unblinking. It was unnerving.

“Can I help you?” you asked.

He blinked rapidly before an easy grin rested on his lips. “Just making sure you still have a pulse, darling.”

You snorted. “Checking on your food supply, I see.”

Astarion angled his head to nuzzle his nose along your throat before kissing your pulse point. “What can I say,” he murmured against your skin, “we vampires have two instincts, as we learned from that book yesterday: ‘feed and make little vampires.’” He scrunched his face into a silent roar, baring his fangs and forming one of his hands into a claw. He slashed it through the air playfully.

“Yes well, the latter probably won’t be happening for a little while,” you said, shifting to sit up, but wincing in pain over the wound in your torso.

Astarion was rolling off the pillows within seconds and coming around to help you sit up. His eyes were concerned, but he pouted and his voice was teasingly whiny when he said, “Pity.” He rested his forehead against your temple. “I do so miss being inside of you.”

You nearly choked on your own spit, which had him pulling away from you and laughing.

“Whatever,” you muttered, watching as Astarion pulled his shirt over his head.

“Hungry, my sweet?” he asked, still smiling.

“You’re really freaking me out,” you said, giving him a sideways look, “with how nice you’re being.”

Astarion rolled his eyes. “Fine. Starve.” With that, he exited your tent with a theatrical swoosh of the flaps that acted as a door.

You exhaled a disbelieving laugh, watching as the flaps swished back and forth before settling back into their closed position.

“SHE’S WHAT?!” you heard Karlach shriek, followed by loud, bounding footsteps approaching your tent.

Astarion called after her in annoyance, “Don’t bother her!”

“Soldier!” Karlach’s head and shoulders popped their way into your tent. “So happy you’re awake!”

“Hi Karlach,” you laughed. “I’d get up but-”

Karlach shook her head. “Don’t move a muscle. I’m sure Shadowheart and Halsin will want to change your bandages and pump you full of potions but… I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” you said. “Thank you for helping while I was unconscious.”

“You’d do the same for any of us,” she said earnestly, still on her hands and knees in the entrance of your tent.

You heard a dull thump outside that had Karlach yelping in surprise.

“Out,” came Astarion’s sour tone, his tongue putting extra emphasis on the “t.”

Karlach looked back over her shoulder and then over to you. “He kicked my boot, the bastard! Proper hard, too!”

“I’d do a lot worse if you weren’t a walking furnace.” Another thump informed you that he kicked Karlach’s boot again.

Rather than retreat, however, Karlach settled her elbows into the dirt and rested her head in her hands. “Ask nicely.” She met your eye with a mischievous grin.

You heard Astarion squawk incredulously. “Darling, tell her to move!”

Clearing your throat to keep from laughing, you said firmly, “Astarion. Be nice. That’s my dear friend, Karlach, you’re kicking.”

He muttered something you couldn’t make out, followed by a loud groan.

Through gritted teeth, he said, “Dear, sweet, Karlach-”

“Liking the sound of this,” Karlach nodded.

“-would you be so kind as to remove your humongous form from the entrance of my lovely bard’s tent?” It sounded as if the words were causing him physical pain.

Karlach looked back at you. “What do you think, Soldier?”

“He could probably do better,” you said with a smirk. But it was then that your stomach decided to growl loudly.

“Woof,” Karlach said.

You could practically hear Astarion’s eye roll. “You know, if you let me in, I could remedy that little problem you’re experiencing.”

Karlach slanted her mouth to the side. “He’s probably right, Gale left behind a bunch of-” she waggled her fingers, “-magic-y warm food for you before he, Shadowheart, Lae’zel, and Wyll headed out this morning.”

You cocked your head to the side. “And you didn’t go with them?”

“Are you kidding?” she asked. “And miss you possibly waking up?”

You smiled at her fondly. “That’s very sweet of you.”

“Besides, I don’t trust myself around all the explodey mushrooms down here.”

Astarion cleared his throat loudly.

“Alright, Fangs, don’t get your panties in a twist.” Karlach looked over her shoulder at him before looking back at you once more. “Let me know if you need anything. You know where to find me.” She pointed to her temple, referring to the tadpole connection, and winked. She crawled backwards on her hands and knees, purposely taking her time, before she fully exited the tent.

Astarion took her place instantly, crawling into the space with a plate of steaming scrambled eggs, fresh fruit, bread, and a pair of healing potions. He placed the entire thing on your lap, along with a fork, before settling onto the ground next to you.

You blinked at him. “Breakfast in bed?”

He scoffed. “It isn’t as if you can join us at the breakfast table.”

Smiling softly, you reached out a hand to cup his cheek. “Thank you, my love. This is very kind of you.”

He still scowled, but his face softened when he took your hand from his cheek and kissed your palm. “I expect the same kind of pampering in return if I’m ever to practically die as foolishly as you.”

You laughed before picking up the fork and stabbing some egg. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

~~~~~

And for the first few days, it did feel like pampering: Astarion staying by your side at all times - reading to you, laying with you, changing your bandages… He only ever left to feed himself. He refused your blood, citing that you needed it more than him, even though your bleeding had slowed to a halt by the third day.

It all felt very nice.

Until you felt well enough to get back on your feet.

The others had dutifully been wrapping things up in the Underdark; defeating monsters, freeing deep gnomes from their drow and duergar slavers, rescuing the halfling woman’s husband, and exploring an abandoned wizard’s tower and the temple to Shar, to name a few. Lae’zel had even gifted you a new longsword she’d found, Phalar Aluve - a sword with the ability to sing or shriek - claiming that this weapon would not have allowed you to be wounded as fatally, had you had it during the duergar battle in the decrepit village.

On the day they raided the Zhentarim cache Astarion had mentioned all those days ago, he’d remained dutifully by your side, much to your dismay and protests that you’d be fine without him for a few hours.

“Absolutely not,” he’d said, looking down his nose at you. “As if Halsin or Shadowheart could care for you as properly as I have.”

“You forget,” you’d responded, mildly annoyed, “that they’re the ones who taught you how to care for me.”

“And I’m the one who shall continue to care for you,” he huffed, finishing changing your bandages once again. By this time, you could sit up on your own with mild to no pain at all. You were perfectly capable of changing your own bandages, but Astarion had insisted on continuing to help you.

You supposed it was nice that he wanted to take care of you, given how much he usually hated being responsible for anything, but he was taking the job a bit too seriously.

Luckily, Karlach and Lae’zel had lugged some chests they’d been unable to open at the Zhentarim storeroom back to camp, allowing your beloved rogue to take part in the raid, despite not attending himself, and thus allowing you a moment of peace to roll off your pillows and put on fresh clothes without his help.

You emerged from your tent to look at the spoils from the storeroom, standing up straight and walking on your own. Astarion hadn’t noticed at first, too busy fiddling with the lock of a particularly large chest, but the commotion created by your companions forced him to look in your direction.

“You’re up!” Wyll exclaimed.

“Do you need any help?” Gale snapped the book he was reading closed.

“Give her some space,” Shadowheart said, assessing you with her eyes from a few feet away.

Astarion got up and hurried over to you. “What do you think you’re doing?”

You smiled at him reassuringly. “I promise I feel well enough to be out here. I just wanted some fresh, Underdark air.” You looked over his shoulder at one of the open chests. “Find anything good?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Nothing worth you getting out of bed for.” He looked you up and down and noticed your change of clothes. He sighed. “I could have helped-”

“I’m fine,” you maintained, placing your hands on his shoulders and looking him directly in the eyes.

Halsin approached the two of you and nodded approvingly. “It is good for her to be up and moving around. It’ll stretch the healing muscles and allow her to join the fray again much more quickly than if she stays in bed all day.”

Astarion rolled his eyes. “Oh, what do you know?”

“Astarion,” Shadowheart said in warning. “If she says she’s okay, let’s believe her. I’m sure she’ll tell you if something’s wrong this time around, right?” She made pointed eye contact with you.

You held up your hand as if swearing an oath. “I promise.”

He watched you closely, narrowing his eyes and sniffing pompously. “Fine.”

He made no move to leave your side.

You rolled your eyes and walked over to the chest he’d been working on, the thieves’ tools still stuck inside the lock. You patted the top of the chest and said, “Don’t let me interrupt you.”

Astarion watched you carefully before he made his way back to the chest and sunk to his knees.

Not far off, Lae’zel was polishing her greatsword. “Does this mean you are well enough to accompany us to the crèche?”

“Well, I-”

“No,” said every other person at camp at once.

“Chk,” Lae’zel thrust her greatsword into the dirt in front of her. “Heal faster.”

“Trying my best,” you said with a shrug.

Lae’zel rolled her eyes and returned to assessing her greatsword.

“If you’re going to be up and about,” Shadowheart said, “you should probably start packing up your belongings for when we need to enter the Mountain Pass.”

“Augh!” you exclaimed loudly, clutching your side. Astarion was up immediately and you leaned your weight on him, throwing your arms around his neck for support. “So sorry, Shadowheart,” you said in a fake strained tone, “my wound… it prevents me… from hard labor…” You flopped fully into Astarion’s side, closing your eyes and sticking out your tongue as if you’d just perished on the spot.

“Oh good,” Astarion said blandly, “she’s finally dead and I can get on with my life.”

You kicked him.

“Uh huh,” Shadowheart crossed her arms. “Such a shame she’ll never be able to annoy us again.”

“I’ll haunt you forever…” you murmured, wobbling your voice like a ghost.

Shadowheart stepped forward and patted your arm. “I’ll ask for blessings from Lady Shar on behalf of your passing.”

“Thank you…” you murmured again.

Astarion bumped his hip into yours forcefully. “Would you get off of me?”

You pulled back and smiled at him. “See? I’m fine.”

He humphed and returned to unlocking the big chest, only to find it full of more thieves' tools. He sighed heavily and rested his forehead on the edge of the chest. You peered inside and laughed.

“Aw,” you said sympathetically and patted his shoulder. “I’m going to get some food.”

“Let me-”

“No,” you said firmly. “Keep going through your useless chests, my love. I’ll be right over here.” You walked over to the makeshift kitchen area Gale had set up.

Astarion watched you go, and you felt his protective eyes remain on you for the remainder of the night.

~~~~~

It was like that now: Astarion trying to do things for you while you insisted you could do them on your own.

It had bewildered you when he actually helped you pack for your trip back to the surface. He had little to pack of his own, given that he’d more or less lived in your tent throughout your stay in the Underdark. He was relentlessly cautious with you, insisting that Gale cast Fly on you so that you didn’t have to ascend the impossibly long ladder back up into the Goblin camp. And he rarely let you out of his sight, even when safely surrounded by your other companions.

The Mountain Pass was beautiful: bathed in what seemed like permanently golden light that had Astarion blooming in the sun’s glow once again. When your group accidentally stumbled into a hostile party of undead while looking for a place to camp, Astarion had taken your hand and pulled you behind him to shield you with his body.

“I can help!” you’d pleaded, watching your friends sling spells and swords at the skeletons.

“Let us handle this,” Astarion had growled, slashing his daggers through a ghoul that came a little too close to you for comfort. He kept you both to the outskirts of the fight.

Try as you might to help, Astarion held you back, glaring at you for drawing the attention of a ghast when you cast Thunder Wave in its direction. You gave him an apologetic smile before he fatally stabbed the ghast in the chest.

Bloodied and burnt out, you and your companions finally found a decent place to camp, close to the monastery that Lae’zel was sure housed the crèche. She took the lead on making a plan to enter the building and find the cure that had been promised to her all her life. You sat by the fire, listening idly to her plans, knowing full well that no one - except maybe Lae’zel herself - wanted you fighting so soon after your injury. You also knew that, should the cure be legitimate, your friends would happily accompany you back into the crèche where you could have the tadpole removed. You chose not to linger on the thought of your adventure possibly coming to an end so soon.

Unsurprisingly, Astarion sat by your side, mending a pair of pants. His knee was pressed lightly into your upper thigh as he hunched over the fabric to see his thread better.

“You could be doing that in my tent, you know,” you said quietly, watching his fingers nimbly weave the fabric back together with needle and thread. “It’s probably easier to see what you’re doing surrounded by candles from all sides than just this fire. I don’t want you to burn yourself.”

“I’m quite skilled at seeing in darkness, thank you,” he said, not looking over at you.

You exhaled softly and leaned your head on his shoulder, effectively stretching your right side, which housed your wound. He paused momentarily, then kept going.

“I’m okay,” you said softly, barely audible above the roaring fire and the heated discussion of possible battle strategy amongst your companions a few feet away. “I’m not going to get hurt like that again.”

Astarion sighed and halted his work on the pants. “You can’t promise that,” he said, sounding annoyed. He spoke his next words quickly, equal parts irritated and vulnerable: “You have no idea what’s coming and neither do I or any of us and I know you’re capable of protecting yourself but the least I can do right now is make sure you heal properly and don’t get hurt again because if I lost you… I wouldn’t know what to do.” He cleared his throat and looked back down at the fabric in his lap. “Or… whatever.”

You smiled softly and lifted your head from his shoulder to kiss his cheek. “I adore you.”

He exhaled an amused breath through his nose. “You’re fine, too.”

“Thank you for looking out for me.”

He sighed dramatically. “It’s been dreadful.”

You laughed. “I can’t even begin to imagine the sacrifices you’ve made.”

He brought his hands up to count on his fingers. “I’ve barely slept, I’ve been drinking animal plonk as opposed to your delicious vintage, I’ve hardly killed anything in the last few days, and I haven’t been able to sleep with you for just as long, if not longer.”

You were glad he wasn’t looking right at you, otherwise he’d surely see the flush on your cheeks. “You’ve been sleeping with me nearly every night.”

He nudged your unwounded side with his elbow. “You know what I mean.”

You smirked. “I miss you too,” you said. “And I’m sorry. You don’t need to be giving up all of that for me.”

He leaned his head on top of yours which had found its way back to his shoulder. “Just… heal, would you? You wretched thing.”

You reached your hand to rest on top of his knee. “You must be starving.”

“In more ways than one,” he growled teasingly in your ear.

“I’m serious.”

“As am I. But your blood stays off limits until I’m sure you’re done bleeding.”

You made a frustrated noise. “I haven’t bled in days, you stubborn leech. And you nearly killed me the first time you drank from me, so really, what’s the difference?”

“Yes, but we weren’t us back then. You were just some bard that I crash landed on a horrid beach with.”

“Hmm,” you hummed through pursed lips.

Now Astarion bent to kiss your cheek. “I’m just being extra careful, my sweet.” He moved his mouth to your ear. “And… it’ll be all the more exquisite when I finally taste you again.”

“Ah,” you said. “So you’re edging yourself.”

Astarion sputtered, “That’s not-” Then he smirked. “And what would you know about edging?”

You swallowed thickly. “Enough.”

He chuckled darkly. “Noted.”

It was quieter now, as your companions had dispersed to their own tents to prepare for tomorrow’s journey to the crèche.

Still, Astarion kept his voice down. “I have an important question for you though, my darling.”

“And what would that be?”

“Whose belongings should we peruse first tomorrow while everyone’s gone?”

~~~~~

The only interesting items you’d found while snooping around camp the next day were cheap erotic novels hidden among both Shadowheart’s and Wyll’s possessions.

Everyone, minus Halsin, who was sticking around the edge of camp planning a way through the Shadow Cursed Lands, had made their way to the crèche only a few hours before.

“‘The Salty Mermaid,’” you’d said, waggling your eyebrows at Astarion who was rifling through Wyll’s tent.

“You’ll never believe this, darling.” He turned to show you the same book, its illustrated cover even more worn than the copy you’d found in one of Shadowheart’s bags.

“Shut up,” you said, leaning forward to snatch the book from his hand and holding the copies side by side. Both depicted a shirtless man gazing into the eyes of a beautiful, topless mermaid, her torso turned tastefully away from view. Their mouths were parted slightly in anticipation of a steaming kiss, ocean mist spraying over them and the rock they were perched on in the middle of the ocean. Wyll’s copy looked as though it had been read dozens of times over the span of many years, while Shadowheart’s was newer and gave the impression that it had been opened frequently, given the way the cover refused to rest against the first page.

“This is outrageous,” Astarion said, sitting behind you and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at both books.

You turned your head to look at him. “Didn’t take those two for naughty book lovers?”

“What? Oh, no, everyone in this camp is a deeply sad, depraved creature, that’s not it.”

You snorted. “Okay, so what-”

“It’s that they didn’t think to include us in their little book club!” His hand gestured wildly between the covers. “You and I read all the time!”

“We don’t know they’re reading them together,” you pointed out. “Maybe it’s a coincidence.”

Astarion looked at you skeptically. “Do you really believe that?”

You thought for a moment. Honestly, you weren’t sure. Your nights had been occupied spending time with the man currently wrapped delicately around your midsection. You couldn’t be sure that your companions hadn’t started a book club without you. It brought a small smile to your face, imagining your friends bonding with each other without your help.

Astarion didn’t wait for you to answer. “Let’s at least see what all the fuss is about.” He leaned forward slightly, careful not to jostle your right side and took Wyll’s book from your hand. He flipped open to a random page as you set Shadowheart’s book on your lap. You leaned your head against his, which was still resting on your shoulder, and read along with him. He tilted his head slightly to read slowly and seductively in your ear.

“Fabian ran his calloused fingers along Allura’s scales. Her tail quivered in response.” He held out the “s,” as if hissing, and nipped at your ear.

You flinched in surprise and smacked him gently on the side of the head.

He chuckled and continued. “‘Taste me,’ Allura pleaded. Fabian smashed his lips against hers and their tongues twisted together like two eels in the Sword Sea.”

You barely withheld a laugh. “Trying to seduce me with eels again, I see.”

Astarion narrowed his eyes, rereading the passage in disbelief. “Oh, gods dammit.”

You nuzzled the side of his head with your own. “It’s working better this time,” you admitted.

“Oh?” Astarion pulled back and met you with a wicked grin.

You nodded and watched his mouth as he leaned in to kiss you before pulling back just out of his reach. He opened his eyes and gave you a puzzled expression.

“I didn’t say it worked completely.” You pushed his nose lightly to turn his face away from yours and back to the book in his hands.

“Why you-” He dropped the book unceremoniously and brought both his hands to your cheeks to kiss you firmly. You laughed against his mouth before giving in and opening up for him.

“Astarion,” came Halsin’s voice from a few yards away.

Astarion immediately disconnected the kiss and shot a deadly glare at the bear.

Halsin hadn’t been looking. Instead he’d been focusing down at what he was holding - a half carved piece of wood, something that was beginning to look like a rabbit. When he finally looked up, he halted in his tracks.

“My apologies,” he said, holding his hands up in a showing of peace, “I merely wanted to ask Astarion for a better knife. It appears my proper carving tools are lost somewhere within our wares.”

“Hi Halsin,” you said nonchalantly.

Halsin chuckled. “I didn’t mean to disturb your fun.”

“Fun? What fun? We never have fun.” You nudged Astarion who was still staring daggers at Halsin.

Astarion sighed and settled his chin back on your shoulder. “Relax, darling, I’m sure Halsin knows all about the kind of fun we have together.”

Halsin nodded. “Far be it from me to interrupt a spry couple preparing to partake in one of nature’s greatest gifts.”

“Ugh,” Astarion groaned in disgust and you felt your cheeks go red. “You make it sound awful.”

“It’s only natural-”

“Did you check our Traveler’s Chest for your carving tools?” you desperately tried to change the subject. “It’s possible one of us packed them in there by mistake.”

Halsin snapped his fingers. “Of course! And the Traveler’s Chest would be…”

You pointed in the direction of the chest, which was thankfully on the other side of camp.

Halsin followed your gaze and nodded again. “I shall investigate the chest. Sorry once again.” He started to leave the two of you but turned back around. “Remember to be careful of your wound.” He gestured to your right side and you absently held your hand to the tender area. “Nothing worse than an injury worsened in the throes of passion.”

“Goodbye, Halsin,” Astarion waved him off.

Halsin chuckled once more, then left the area. You and Astarion remained silent for a moment, watching him go.

You looked over at him. “Moment over?”

“So incredibly over,” Astarion lifted his chin from your shoulder and crawled around to sit next to you. “But the druid’s right. You’re still hurt.”

You huffed some hair out of your face. “And you’re still a drama queen.”

Astarion gasped and held a hand to his chest dramatically. “How dare you.”

“I’m fine!” you insisted. “Watch this!”

You stood and leaned your body to the left, stretching your right side and lifting your right arm over your head.

“See?”

Astarion cocked his head to the side. “Impressive. Now stretch the other way.”

You remained upright and ramrod straight. “I don’t want to.”

“Because…?”

“Because…” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, fuck you! You know why.”

“Because you’re still sore-”

“Yes, because I’m still sore.” You sat beside him again and muttered, “killjoy.”

Astarion stood and reached for your hands, holding them in both of his own. “Call me whatever names you like, it won’t change my mind.” He leaned forward and kissed you softly.

You frowned at him. “Asshole.”

Kiss. “Darling.”

“Bat brain.”

Kiss. “Beautiful.”

“Priss.”

Kiss. “My- hey.” He pulled himself back to look down his nose at you. “I’m not a priss, I’m simply surrounded by frumps. And Shadowheart.”

You scoffed and reached up to brush your hand through his curls, mussing them ever so slightly.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, pushing you away and reaching up to fix his hair.

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

He glared back and rolled his eyes. “Did I not just call you ‘beautiful?’”

“One of your frequent pet names,” you waved him off playfully and went to pick up Shadowheart and Wyll’s discarded books. “It means next to nothing.”

Astarion turned to watch you. “That’s not true.”

You laughed. “You call everyone ‘darling.’”

“That’s different.”

“How so?”

If he were still alive, you’d be able to feel his body heat as he stepped closer to you. He looked up towards the sky and moved his hands around as if searching for the correct words.

“‘Darling’ has always been a lovely blanket term of endearment for victims whose names I didn’t bother to learn but needed to entice.”

You stiffened, thrown off by his honest answer. “Oh.”

He met your eye. “People like feeling seen, and ‘darling’ does the job quite nicely. Call it a habit now, I suppose.”

You smirked at him. “You know my name, right?”

He smiled sideways in return. “Who are you again?”

“Good answer.”

“Honestly though, darling,” he said, before shaking his head and saying your name instead. “‘Darling’ isn’t anything special to me, that’s true,” he placed his hands firmly on your upper arms, just below your shoulders, “but you are.”

You exhaled a shaky breath, trying but failing not to shrink under his intense gaze. “Another good answer.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. “Look at me, please.”

You met his eye again and saw his features soften.

“I’ve never called someone ‘beautiful’ and not meant it.”

You raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Really. In all the times you had to seduce people, you never called someone you weren’t attracted to ‘beautiful’ just to make things go faster?”

Astarion rubbed absent minded circles into your arms with his thumbs. “In those instances, I preferred referring to them as, ‘striking.’”

You snorted. “You can’t be serious.”

“I could say ‘dead serious,’ but that would be atrocious, so I won’t.”

“‘Striking,’” you repeated, laughing a little at the vagueness of it. “I guess that could mean anything.”

Astarion nodded. “Exactly.” He shifted his hands up to your shoulders. “But you, my sweet, are exquisite.”

You smiled shyly. “I could say ‘aw shucks,’ but then you’d kill me, so I won’t.”

He pushed himself away from you again. “You are infuriating.”

Dropping the books once more, you reached for his wrist as he backed away. “No, no, I’m sorry,” you said as you brought his hand to your mouth to kiss his knuckles. “Tell me more about how beautiful I am.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically before his features settled into a seductive grin. He reached forward and pulled you closer by the waist. His voice was low and flirtatious when he said, “I told you on that first night I had my way with you that you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” He shifted his head to nip at your ear, “I meant that.”

A shiver went through your body and you closed your eyes. “Really?”

Astarion scoffed. “I wouldn’t willingly attach myself to just anyone, darling.” He kissed your neck. “For one thing, there’s this gorgeous neck of yours.”

You let out an amused sigh. “Go on…”

“Your eyes,” he said, shifting up to bear his crimson gaze into yours, “they sparkle like anything. I can’t say I’ve ever seen eyes more lovely.” You blinked at him, unsure of what to say. He continued, “Especially when you’re laughing. Preferably at something clever I’ve said.”

That made you laugh. “You’re not always as clever as you think.”

He smiled back at you. “So long as I keep seeing that dazzling smile, I shall make a fool of myself.” After a beat, he clarified, “But only for you.”

If you weren’t careful, you might cry. “You sweet, stupid man.”

“Speaking of that smile; that mouth of yours. I could eat you right up.”

He bent to kiss you deeply but you pulled away to giggle. “And you have!”

“And I have,” he agreed, succeeding in kissing you this time.

Your mouth moved against his slowly, keeping in time with him, and you brought your arms up to wrap around his neck. As the kiss became more intense, his tongue licking into your mouth, your heart picked up speed, which sent Astarion groaning against your lips.

“That delicious heartbeat,” he said dreamily, breaking the kiss. “It’s as sweet as any song you’ve ever played, my love.”

Your eyes shot open as he brought his face down to your throat again to kiss your pulse point. Based on his body language and the sensual way he continually kissed your neck, you had a feeling he didn’t realize what he’d said. He kept talking.

“Your heartbeat means you're alive,” he placed a kiss on your collarbone. “And that you’re here,” a kiss to your chest. “With me,” a kiss atop your clothed left breast, above your pounding heart. “Not to mention it’s the source of my favorite meal,” he pulled back to look at you with a goofy grin that he quickly morphed into one of seduction. When he saw your bewildered expression, his face fell into one of concern. “What is it?”

You shook your head and blinked rapidly, attempting to keep your composure. “Astarion,” you said, your voice full of adoration, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What’s wrong?” His tone was instantly serious and stern. “Did something happen?” He inspected your right side as if you may have started bleeding again.

Laughter bubbled out of your chest at his sudden shift in demeanor. This man cared for you so deeply it almost hurt. And it was so blatantly obvious to everyone but himself.

“There’s nothing wrong, dummy,” you said, tapping the tip of his nose to bring his attention back to you.

He looked at you questioningly and saw nothing but affection in your eyes. “Then…” he leaned in closer, drawn in by the softness of your features, “what is it?”

You leaned in as well, watching his mouth and subconsciously wetting your lips in preparation for what you were about to say. “I…” you eyes began to close, “lo-”

“Tsk'va!”

You and Astarion froze, your mouths inches apart.

“That wasn’t you, was it?” he muttered.

You narrowed your eyes at him, swatting his cheek lightly and pulling away.

Lae’zel was standing not too far off, covered in blood, staring at the two of you with an intense ire that had you both nearly jumping away from each other. “You feeble wretches are delighting in intercourse whilst the Lich Queen lies to her kin about purification and I nearly lose my life as a result.”

Astarion straightened and looked at his nails, bored. “Oh, is that all?”

You gave him a look before stepping forward to offer comfort. “What happened?”

Lae’zel looked between you and Astarion before furrowing her brows and marching off to her tent. “She may yet purify me!” she called angrily, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone.

The rest of your party stumbled into camp not far behind. They, too, were drenched in blood and looking worse for wear. You approached them immediately, Astarion reluctantly on your heels.

“Is everyone okay?” you quickly looked over everyone and didn’t note any major injuries.

“We’re alright,” Wyll assured and nodded to Shadowheart, “no thanks to Shadowheart.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” she groaned. “Let’s see if we survive the night.” She gestured towards Lae’zel who was angrily shedding her armor and shrieking frustratedly with each discarded piece.

You looked back at the others and repeated, “What happened?”

“Our little dream visitor had some rather enlightening news for our githyanki friend,” Gale sighed, wiping his brow.

“Well hang on now,” Karlach said. “Her people, or rather, some random doctor lady, tried to kill her first!”

Wyll nodded solemnly. “Not to mention that fearsome god of hers threatened our lives.”

You inhaled sharply. Even Astarion looked surprised. “What?”

“Why do the gods favor you people?” Astarion crossed his arms. “They never answered me when I called.”

“Now, now, Astarion,” Gale said, “this was not a meeting on the most benevolent of terms.”

Astarion rolled his eyes. “So were you able to kill her or something? Is that why you’re all drenched in what smells like an absurd amount of gith blood?”

“Kill a god?” Wyll laughed lightly. “Be serious, Astarion.”

The vampire shrugged. “I don’t know what you lot are capable of, we just met.”

“‘Just met?!’” Shadowheart scoffed incredulously. “And you think you could have taken on a god? You and what? Those sharp teeth of yours?”

“If you’d like to see what they’re capable of, darling, you need only ask.” He flashed her a malicious grin.

“Astarion,” you caught his eye and shook your head slightly.

“If killing that overgrown creep were an option, I gladly would have taken it,” Karlach punched at her open palm. “I can’t stand bullies.”

Halsin now entered the fray. “Peace,” he said calmly. “Everyone should get cleaned up and inspected for injuries, then we can discuss the events of the créche.”

You turned to look for Lae’zel, but her tent was empty. You assumed she’d gotten a jumpstart on the cleaning process.

“Why is my book in the dirt?!” Shadowheart exclaimed. “Astarion!”

“I think it’s time I go for a hunt,” Astarion kissed you swiftly. “You can handle this, can’t you darling?” Then he took off at a brisk pace down the side of the mountain.

~~~~~

After Lae’zel and the others had cleaned themselves up and bandaged their shallow wounds, you’d all sat around the fire to discuss what had occurred at the crèche and what the dream visitor had told Lae’zel of Vlaakith’s deception towards the purification process.

That night, Kith’rak Voss and his group of rebel githyanki warriors had visited you and your companions, telling you all that the Astral Prism held the key to Vlaakith’s undoing. He’d also promised to explain more and provide help once you reached Baldur’s Gate.

“Why must they always be so cryptic,” Astarion had muttered to you from where you stood behind Lae’zel, allowing her to take the lead on this. “If the Prism is a source of unnamed power, then I think we have a right to know about it.” He pouted and you elbowed him lightly.

As you were preparing to leave for the Shadow Cursed Lands the next day, Elminster appeared, bearing a message for Gale from Mystra.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you’d steamed after the old wizard left, “you’re not blowing yourself up, Gale. I won’t let you.”

“She’s right,” Astarion agreed. You turned and gave him a surprised look. He shrugged. “Sacrificing Gale to the Absolute is a waste of a perfectly good cult we could be controlling.” When you rolled your eyes, he amended, “And a waste of a perfectly good Gale, I suppose.”

“I am touched, Astarion,” Gale said before turning his attention back on you. “Let’s save such certainty about my fate for the moment such a decision is upon us. You may feel differently, once we know what we’re truly up against.”

Thus your party kept packing up in preparation to leave for the Shadow Cursed Lands, which Halsin had discovered an entrance to, not far from your camp.

Upon entering, the suffocating nature of the dark hit you instantly, and you felt a shift in your party the more you shuffled into the area.

Astarion held out an arm to stop you from going any further, away from the lit fire you’d found near the entrance. “Can you feel that?”

“You mean the impending sense of doom?” Karlach asked. “Yeah, I feel it.”

Astarion ignored her. “The dark, it’s… hungry. Best watch the shadows.”

Lae’zel scoffed. “How can darkness feel anything, let alone require sustenance?”

“That’s not-” Astarion sighed. “Oh, nevermind. Just… stay close to the light.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Wyll said, grabbing a torch from the lit fire near the entrance.

Shadowheart gazed into the distance, straining her eyes to see into the dark. “This place… there’s power in these shadows, I can sense it.”

Astarion snorted. “Shadowheart feeling one with the shadows. A little on the nose there, darling.”

Shadowheart shot him a deathly glare that had him look over at you for protection. You patted his shoulder in response.

“She’s right, though,” Gale agreed. “I’ve never seen such a concentration of shadow magic. We must forge on, but carefully. It will corrupt any who lack the power to control it.”

“Best get a move on, then,” Halsin siad, grabbing a torch in one hand and your party’s ox cart with the other.

Wyll took the lead with his torch, while the rest of you grabbed your own. You and Astarion brought up the rear as you all made your way through the darkness. He was uncharacteristically quiet as you went.

“Everything okay?” you asked him quietly, making sure the others wouldn’t be able to hear you.

Astarion’s eyes were darting around, on high alert, but he looked over at you when you reached for his free hand with your own. “It feels like we’re being watched,” he said, returning his eyes to scanning your surroundings. “Hunted, even. But there’s nothing out there,” he looked in your direction but was focusing on the darkness behind you, “only more darkness.”

You nodded, and joined him in scanning the surrounding area.

“I much prefer it when I’m the one prowling in the shadows, about to strike.”

“Ooh,” you said, shaking your voice as if telling a scary story, “scaaaary.”

Astarion looked at you with a scowl that you could see was concealing a laugh. “Sorry, did you want something?” He stepped closer to you, bringing his face inches away from yours. “Or just looking for a distraction?” He looked down at your lips.

“I-” you looked at his lips as well and watched as his mouth formed into a grin.

“Look alive, lovebirds,” Karlach turned back to face you two. “Movement up ahead.”

Instinctively, Astarion pulled you to him, shielding your right side with his body from possible attacks.

It was then that your party came across a group of Absolute worshippers, seeking passage across the Shadow Cursed Lands to Moonrise Towers with the help of a drider named Kar’niss, who brandished a magical lantern of some kind. You all played along, brandishing your True Soul statuses in order to gain favor and join the cultists on their journey deeper into the shadows. You even offered to play the Spider's Lyre, which Wyll had found and given to you in the Underdark, in order to summon the drider.

Astarion made it a point of keeping you close, despite the cultists giving you no trouble.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, bumping his hip with your own.

He scoffed. “Oh, so you trust the arachnid is totally sane and won’t turn on us at any given moment?”

“Well-” He made a good point. While Kar’niss had done nothing to prove he was an imminent danger to you, his words were erratic and he’d snapped at you earlier for offering to carry his lantern.

“Wait…” Kar’niss hissed suddenly, holding his lantern aloft in front of what appeared to be a long abandoned house. “Something’s wrong, Majesty.”

“He’s right,” Astarion said quietly, drawing his daggers, “I can sense blood pumping in that building.”

“Should we do something?” Wyll asked.

“Shhh,” Shadowheart hushed. “We don’t know where they are, exactly. Do you want them to spring out at us while they still have the element of surprise?”

“Not particularly,” said Wyll, just as Lae’zel said “Yes,” and drew her greatsword from her back.

“Who’s there?” Kar’niss called. “Show yourself!”

From within the house came a male voice, shouting, “Harpers, attack!”

“Harpers?” Karlach repeated.

The man continued yelling orders. “Kill the cultists… and get that lantern!”

“HERETICS!” Kar’niss shrieked. “VILLAINS IN THE DARK!”

“Soldier,” Karlach turned to you, a frantic look in her eyes, “Those are Harpers!”

Your own eyes widened. Harpers were known for protecting the innocent from evils across the realms. It made sense why they would want to attack cultists of the Absolute.

“Wait!” you shouted and ran forward as Astarion called your name, trying to stop you. “We can help!” You spoke to the man leading this gang of Harpers.

The man looked you up and down as Astarion approached you with his knives still drawn, ready to pounce. “Hurt her, and you die,” he growled, dropping into a low stance.

You exhaled. “Sorry about the guard dog.”

“Careful,” Astarion said lowly, “I bite.” He gnashed his teeth at the group of Harpers surveying you closely.

A woman with long curly hair stepped forward. “Prove we can trust you.”

You nodded and took your lute off your back, strumming a quick tune that had the deep purple magic of Shatter sparking at your fingertips. You turned back towards the cultists, who were now sandwiched between the Harpers and your party. You friends took the hint and drew their own weapons.

“What are they doing?” Kar’niss eclaimed. “We thought they were True Souls! Traitors! Heathens!”

“Darling, are you sure about this?” Astarion asked, watching you carefully, checking for any signs that you weren’t ready to fight.

You looked over at him and winked, casting a powerful Shatter that sent the cultists flying in every direction.

The battle that followed was thankfully not as bad as it could have been, thanks to the help from the Harpers. Astarion had remained by your side the whole time, maneuvering the two of you out of the way whenever an attack landed closeby. He dutifully shielded your right side, stabbing the hobgoblin rather brutally when he lunged at you.

When the battle ended and it was clear that no one had been injured too severely, you approached Kar’niss’ lantern and picked it up. Its chilly glow appeared to protect you all far better from the Shadow Curse than your long since discarded torches.

The male Harper who you’d pleaded to at the start of the battle now approached you. “Incredible magic,” he said, indicating the lantern. “I can feel the light lifting the shadows - even those within me.”

Astarion laughed quietly at his remark, and you kicked the vampire in the shin.

“Find us at the Last Light Inn,” the Harper said, pulling out a map and pointing to a small building by the river.

“Thank you,” you said, marking the location on your own map.

“Be safe,” he said with a nod. “And be brave. We expect no less. Thank you for your help.” With that, he and his other Harpers made their way deeper into the shadows, accompanied by their own torches.

“Could we not have gone with them?” Karlach asked.

“Probably had other Harperly duties to take care of,” Gale reasoned.

“We should probably start heading that way anyway,” you said. “My magic’s depleted and I could use some sleep.”

“Agreed,” Halsin said, stretching his arms above his head and grabbing the ox cart once again. “It will be a relief to rest these weary bones upon a mattress for once.”

“Hmm,” Shadowheart mused, “is grass not cutting it for you anymore?”

“Far from it,” Halsin said. “But even I can appreciate the pleasures of a warm bed every once in a while.”

~~~~~

“Unfortunately, there is only one room available,” Jaheira said flatly when you all entered the inn and approached her at her desk.

Astarion scoffed. “Didn’t you just say outside that there were beds, plural, if we needed rest?”

“It would seem I lied,” she said, looking through a book that you assumed showed current room assignments. “Oops.” She didn’t sound remorseful. “Looks like you’ll have to decide amongst yourselves who gets the room. The rest of you can make camp in the back. There’s plenty of room under Isobel’s light to keep you sheltered from the Curse.”

“Thank you, Jaheira!” Karlach said excitedly.

Jaheira smiled at Karlach’s enthusiasm and held out a goblet of wine to her. “Please,” she said, her tone suddenly very kind, “be welcome.” She handed a goblet to you as well. “Have a drink.”

“Oh my gods,” Karlach muttered, sharing an excited look with you.

“To your very good health,” Jaheira said, raising her own cup towards all of you.

Karlach was practically vibrating with excitement next to you.

“You’ll have to excuse my friend, Karlach,” you said with a smile. “She’s very excited to meet you.”

She giggled, embarrassed. “Tsh. Yeah.” Her face fell just then, as if realizing she wasn’t being formal enough with her hero. She stooped into a low bow. “I mean… It's an honor. M’lady.”

“I will gladly drink to your health as well, Karlach.” Jaheira’s eyes sparkled with amusement.

You raised your goblet to mimic Jaheira’s and went to take a sip, but were instead met with the back of Astarion’s hand. Your mouth crushed against his skin.

“You did not seriously just take a sip from a drink given to you by a stranger,” he said in horrified disbelief.

“I was trying to,” you offered Jaheira an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t expecting to kiss the back of your hand,” you said through clenched teeth.

Astarion took the goblet from you. “Give me that.”

Karlach had been just about to take a sip, but thought better of it and watched Astarion.

He sniffed the contents of the goblet. “Klauthgrass,” he said with a wrinkle of his nose.

“It doesn’t spoil the taste,” Jaheira offered, “if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and shoved the goblet back into your hand, training his own hands above his sheathed daggers. “She’s trying to feed you a truth serum.”

“Astarion,” you said calmly, as if soothing a startled animal, “it’s okay.” You set the goblet down and reached for both of his hands, pulling them away from his daggers. “She just wants to protect her people. You can respect that, can’t you, my love?”

“Ah,” Jaheira nodded. “‘My love.’ It is admirable that the cub wants to protect his mate.”

“She’s not-” Astarion sputtered. “We’re just-” He groaned loudly. “I don’t trust you,” he pointed an accusatory finger at the Harper.

“Oh no,” her tone was flat again. “How ever shall I sleep tonight.”

Before Astarion could protest more, you took a sip of the drink.

He gasped. “Darling, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Building trust,” you said, smiling at Jaheira.

Her features echoed your own and she took a sip as well.

“Ah, what the hells,” Karlach said. “Bottoms up!” She downed her own goblet.

“You’re all idiots and I hope you die,” Astarion crossed his arms.

Shadowheart laughed. “Isn’t the whole reason you’re being so dramatic because your mate almost died?”

“Watch yourself, cleric,” his words were icy, but Shadowheart couldn’t contain her snort.

Jaheira took another sip. “Well over a century old and yet it hasn’t lost a hint of its flavor.”

“Let’s have a taste, then,” Wyll pushed his way forward and took the goblet from you.

“I must see for myself if Astarion’s suspicions are warranted,” Lae’zel took Karlach’s goblet, “and if the wine is as good as this woman says.”

“No, no,” Astarion said sarcastically, “let’s all partake in the poison! Shadowheart? Gale? Halsin? What’s stopping you?”

Shadowheart crossed her arms. “I’ve packed my own wine that I don’t plan on sharing with you all, thank you very much.”

Gale, meanwhile, appeared to be reading a book he’d found discarded somewhere in the bar. “Pardon? Is something the matter?”

Astarion rolled his eyes and turned to Halsin who held up his hands in surrender.

“I rarely imbibe, the stuff goes right to my head. I doubt anyone wants to see that.”

“Mmm, yes, save it.” Astarion turned back to you and the others. “So we’re all going to tell the truth now, that’s great. Go ahead, Jaheira, ask away.”

“There’s an air about you,” she said, addressing you instead of the seething vampire to your right. “Something… alien.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Astarion muttered.

“Answer me true and do not lie,” she didn’t flinch when Astarion scoffed, and pressed on. “The parasite is changing you, isn’t it?”

You could feel the effects of the serum willing your mouth to form a truthful answer. You let it. “It’s trying to change me. To win me over. But I’m resisting its temptations.”

Jaheira looked you up and down. “And you’re certain you will continue to resist?”

You nodded. “Yes.” The truth.

“Good,” you saw Jaheira’s shoulders relax. “I will take your word for it. And hold you to it, too.”

You looked over at Astarion, whose arms were still crossed. He scowled at Jaheira who turned to address him this time.

“I have every reason to be cautious.” She exhaled a frustrated sigh. “I’ve traced people like you.”

“Oh, have you.” Astarion rolled his eyes for what was likely the tenth time this evening.

Jaheira tilted her head. “People with parasites in their brains. All the way here from Baldur’s Gate.”

“A long journey, indeed,” Gale said.

Astarion laughed humorlessly. “Good of you to finally join us, Gale.”

Wyll cleared his throat. “And what of the city?”

Jaheira turned to him this time. “The cult of the Absolute is spreading through the Gate. Quietly, quickly, and with unsettling deliberation.”

“Gods…” Wyll breathed. “My father…” Gale patted his arm reassuringly.

“We tracked them to this ancient village,” Jaheira looked down at a map in front of her displaying the entirety of the Shadow Cursed Lands, and pointed to a village not far off, “only to be faced with a man we killed and buried over a century ago.”

“Who was - is - he?” you asked, furrowing your brow.

Jaheira paused briefly when she saw Karlach yawn. “General Ketheric Thorm. Remember that name. He’s the leader of the Absolutists.”

“How can we help?” you stepped forward, determined.

“Ugh,” Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose. “Really, my sweet, is now the time to be playing hero?”

“The vampire is right,” said Jaheira. “We can save this discussion for the morning.”

“Vampire?” Astarion repeated, laughing lightly. “What do you- I’m not-” He slumped. “What gave it away?”

She smirked. “Nearly everything about you. And I have experience with your kind.”

You and your companions snickered, and Astarion shot you all death glares.

“Yes well… it’s been such a delight chatting with you, Jaheira, but I think now’s the time to discuss the room situation.” Astarion turned around so that his back faced Jaheira, effectively cutting her out of the conversation.

She laughed. “When you decide who gets the room, it’s next to the bar, on the right.” Just as she was about to leave and take care of other matters, she turned back. “Do keep it down if it’s you two who get the room,” she gestured to you and Astarion. “The walls aren’t as thick here as you think they are. Those sitting around the bar will hear you and tell me all about it and I’d… prefer to remain in the dark if it’s all the same to you.”

“Jaheira!” Astarion scoffed. “What do you think of me?”

“Prove me wrong, vampling,” she winked at you and went on her way.

Shadowheart placed her hands on her hips. “Go on, Astarion. Make a case for why the two of you are in desperate need of the room.”

Astarion looked at his nails. “Well, darling, it’s just that we’ve had such little time to ourselves-”

Halsin interrupted. “I’m… going to set up camp outside. I yield my claim to the room and will gladly sleep under the stars. Or… I suppose there are no stars here. Regardless-” he turned on his heel and walked out the front door to reunite with your ox cart full of camp supplies.

“I’ll join him,” said Wyll.

“Right behind you,” Karlach agreed.

“Okay,” Gale looked around at those remaining. “That leaves four of us, considering you two as a unit.” He pointed between you and Astarion, the latter of which looked offended, but you grabbed his hand and squeezed it before he had a chance to argue.

Lae’zel adjusted her greatsword in her arms. “It is tradition among githyanki that those who performed best in battle should have the most comfortable sleeping chambers.”

Gale furrowed his brow. “Is that true? I’ve yet to read anything about that in my extended research on the githyanki people.”

Lae’zel shrugged.

Shadowheart spoke next. “It’s just that I drained so much of my magic healing everyone on the battlefield today. I think I deserve to sleep in comfort to replenish my power since we have no clue what tomorrow brings.” Then she quickly added, “Since we’re in her domain, I’d say it’s as if Lady Shar herself wills it.”

Astarion snorted. “Like hells she does.” He turned to Gale. “And what’s your excuse?”

“The knees,” Gale said, bending his knees for you all to hear an audible crack. “Too many nights on the ground will do no favors for one’s aching joints.”

You could see where this was going. There would be a constant back and forth until a loud argument inevitably broke out in the middle of the inn. You knew it was a bit devious, but you decided to get the jumpstart on ending the argument.

You took Astarion’s hand. “Come on, Astarion,” you said with a sigh, “we can rough it outside for another night.”

He didn’t budge. “You can’t be serious, darling.”

“I am serious- Oh.” you paused in trying to get Astarion to follow you and reached for your right side. “Ow,” you said slowly.

Astarion said your name, his voice laced with worry.

“Oh gods,” you blinked your eyes several times, tears filling your vision.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Astarion brushed hair out of your face and placed his hands on your cheeks.

“I don’t know,” you said shakily. “I suddenly got a sharp pain in my side. I think my wound may have opened again.”

“Oh for gods’ sakes,” Shadowheart rolled her eyes and held out her hand to scan you for injuries with her magic. “You know what, if it’s that important to you, you can have it.” With that, she left after the others.

“Are you alright?” Gale asked.

“I know what would make her feel better,” Astarion said, catching on to your ruse.

“Do not say the room,” Lae’zel glowered at him.

“The room,” Astarion said anyway.

“Chk,” she spat. “Fine. Have your precious alone time. But when they kick you out for pleasuring each other too loudly, I get the room in your stead.”

“Uh… if that’s the case, she can have it after you two.” Gale smiled painfully. “I shall concede as well. If only so I can grab some shut eye without your loud-”

“Ooowww,” you moaned.

“Good gods, man!” Astarion exclaimed, clutching you to his chest as if you were made of glass. “How can you think of sex at a time like this! My precious treasure is wounded!”

“I mean, Lae’zel alluded to it first-” Gale pointed to where Lae’zel had been standing, only to see that she had already left. “Ah. I guess I’ll take my leave as well.”

“Ow! Gods, it hurts!” you wailed.

“Get out of here!” Astarion practically yelled at the wizard.

Gale sighed. “Goodnight you two.”

“Goodnight Gale!” you called after him sweetly.

When he turned back to look at you, you were limp in Astarion’s arms, one of your own arms thrown dramatically over your eyes.

“Now look what you’ve done!” It was Astarion’s turn to wail.

“Alright!” Gale turned and held up his hands in frustration. “I’m going!”

When he was finally gone, Astarion pulled you into him for a long, passionate kiss. “You are the perfect woman,” he breathed, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’ll have to remind you of that the next time I annoy you,” you laughed and took his hand, leading him to the room.

Jaheira’s voice sounded from the second floor, “I would appreciate it if you did not yell while my Harpers and our guests are trying to sleep.” Despite her stern tone, her expression revealed mild amusement.

“Sorry, Jaheira,” you whispered loud enough for her to hear you from the railing she bent over.

“Good night, cubs.” She waved her hand and left you and Astarion to settle into your room.

~~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Unfortunately tumblr thought this piece was too long (WHOOPS!) so I had to split it into two parts. The second part can be found here.

111 notes · View notes

mostly-functional · 5 months ago

Text

I get the feeling Charles knows he’s in love with Edwin, but he lied to him on the staircase. The way he looks at him outside the window in episode 1, his jealousy towards Monty and the Cat King, these are not friendly actions and I think he knows it. He even jokes about it in the forest in episode 2 when he says he likes Chrystal because she reminds him of Edwin.

Now, why would he lie? I have two main reasons:

1. He was shocked by the confession.

He didn’t know what to say and he didn’t want to change their relationship on a whim. He makes a joke about Orpheus and Eurydice to try and deflect, but Edwin backs him into a corner when he doubles down. As impulsive as Charles is, he has to be sure about this. It’s too important. He loves Edwin, but he needs time to be sure about everything.

I also think he’s a little afraid of relationships. This leads in to my next point

2. He’s a traumatized child.

He’s afraid of being vulnerable or intimate. And why shouldn’t he be? He was abused his whole life and he’s spent his afterlife helping others through their trauma. Think about it, in 51 years of existence, how many real friends do you think he’s had? I count one, maybe two if you count Chrystal.

Not to mention the conversation after the dragons case when he tells Edwin that he doesn’t want to be a bad guy. We as the audience see Charles as a sweet, gentle soul, but he obviously doesn’t see himself that way. Especially after Chrystal yelled at him about his anger issues (but that’s a whole other discussion.)

A lot of people have made this point more eloquently than I have, but my point is that he’s afraid that he’ll hurt Edwin if they get too close

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detective netflix #charles rowland #edwin payne #payneland #ramblings #idk how much sense this makes but I’m posting it anyway

181 notes · View notes

elliespeach · 2 years ago

Text

the air that i breathe | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ "because i can make it quick, or i could make it so much worse." ´ˎ˗

synopsis: a camping trip you and ellie embark on takes a devastating turn. with you in the hands of raiders ellie's sanity is brought to her breaking point and she will stop at nohting to get you back. wordcount: 8.3k + warnings: 18+ ellie n readers headspace is very dark!! depression, panic attacks, horrible desperation, and lots of trauma responses that are vividly described. graphic depictions of violence, kidnapping, reader is confined in a cell by chains, food/water deprivation, hallucinations, torture (reader by raiders, ellie to the raiders) ellie is basically santa barabra ellie but multiply it by thirty n reader is like trapped in the dark so i think that counts as claustrophobia. this fic can b very triggering so pls take the tags seriously!! different povs (ellie n reader) they are seperated for most of this fic, theres some fluff in their dreams but thats truly as soft as it gets author note: pls pls read me!! this story came to me randomly, its not a traditional fic in my eyes but i hope u guys like it nonetheless!! the name comes from the show bridgerton, one of violets lines towards her husband and i was like THAT is true love so here we are :) theres a lot of in game elements to this story on ellie's part so i hope i did that justice :)) i'm a lil nervous to post this im ngl so pls be kind and lmk if yall like it plsssss i beg of u i wanna make this a multi part fic esp w the way it ends so any feedback will be appreciated!! ily guys enjoy

ellie’s pov

– three days after the kidnapping

the first thing ellie hears is the low, familiar voices of joel and tommy. as their mumbled conversation rings through her ears, her head throbs. a groan escapes her lips, bringing her hand up weakly to rub it as if it would help. ellie opened her eyes slowly, the pain intensifying from the sun shining through the windows. her vision came to focus, looking around it was the infirmary in jackson. she was laid down in one of the beds and when her eyes landed on joel and tommy, they looked at her sympathetically.

joel took small steps toward her, barely able to make eye contact. “how ya feelin’ kiddo?” he asked, painfully sitting himself down at the end of her bed. ellie wasn’t able to read him clearly, and then she started thinking. why am i in this bed? her mind raced and it must’ve been obvious to her company because joel spoke again. “it’s gonna be okay.”

she frantically searched through her foggy mind, everything was so blurry and out of order. she thought of you. the only thing that came to the front of her mind with ease. the camping trip, she thought to herself. she saw you in her head, all bundled up in the sleeping bag and wearing ellie’s shirt. her lips began to curl at the ends before she realized you weren’t here by her bedside. she remembers leaving the tent that night, for what reason she doesn’t know, but you stayed behind, cuddled up in the sleeping bag.

thats when– your scream. it echoed in her head, taunting her. the quiet forest that surrounded the two of you amplified your terrified scream and ellie’s face grimaced at the memory. she knows she ran to you, why was i so far away from you? her brain was waking up and with it, horrible images flashed in front of her. the tent that had been cut open, the rusty old pick-up truck, the men that had you in their grasp, the last glance ellie had of you before the bud of a gun was slammed into her head. it all came flooding back in an instant.

ellie looked up at joel, tears brimming over her eyes. she spoke in a low voice, but despite the tears that fought to fall, her tone was flat. “where is she?”

joel was quick to answer, “we’ve been tracking them–”

“how long have i been out?” she boomed, trying to sit up but her brain pounded against her skull, forcing her back down in the bed. joel moved up, sitting closer to her but couldn’t find the words, his heart ached for ellie. he looked to tommy with a solemn expression, and his little brother stepped forward.

“it’s been three days, ellie,” tommy vocalized softly. “we’re doin’ all we can, i promise.”

“obviously it’s not fucking enough!” ellie shouted, pinching the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes tight. you came to mind when she did, usually she pictures you happily; picking a flower and tucking in her hair, taking a nap on ellie’s couch with your head in her lap, posing while she drew you. you were the spitting image of innocence in her mind. but as her eyes shut now, all she could see was the absolutely heart-wrenching image of your face as you were thrown into the truck.

her eyes opened almost immediately, unable to see it even for a second longer. her cheeks became wet as the tears poured out of her, her breathing became erratic and she clutched her chest. joel was quick to comfort her but it only did so little. “we-we have to fi-find her,” ellie managed to speak through panicked breaths, feeling her chest about to burst.

the pain in her head was nothing compared to this, and it almost felt non-existent in the face of you being gone. being with them. whoever they are, whatever they want with you. they should have taken me. it should have been me. it should have been me. it should hav–

“ellie, breath–” joel cooed next to her, rubbing her back and removing her from her thoughts. “we’ll find her.”

“i’m co-coming with you,” her chest was still heaving and she felt like she’d never breathe right again. not until you were standing next to her.

tommy sighed, barely audible over ellie’s apparent panic-attack. “you’re on bed rest, kid. i’m sorry. but we will bring her back to you.”

his words felt like daggers and she was quick to respond. “if you think for one sec–”

“it’s not up for discussion, ellie.” joel interjected, his voice was soft but stern. and ellie scoffed through the tears, looking at joel harshly.

before ellie could spew a rant to him, tommy spoke, “we think they’re on the border of utah. were going tomorrow at first light and when we come back she will too. okay?”

ellie’s thoughts were a jumbled mess, and as her breathing became somewhat normal she was able to think. play it cool. “o-okay,” let them think i won’t go anywhere. “my head r-really hurts. gonna sleep for now,” she mumbled, pulling the blanket up and over her head. she laid with her back turned to them and she felt the bed move beside her. joel and tommy mumbled another string of words to each other before ellie heard the door creek open.

“rest up, kiddo. she’s gonna be okay.” joel said to her sympathetically and ellie remained quiet under her covers, plotting her escape.

she slept for another few hours. she knew she had to wait until night time anyway, there was no use in staying awake and plaguing her thoughts with what is happening to you. but as she slept her mind played horrible tricks on her, she dreamt of saving you that night. brutally slaying the men who had dared to even think about touching you, their blood stained her dreams but at the end of it you were in her arms.

when she woke up alone, her reality came crashing back down. it forced her to sit up, ignoring her head that was killing her slowly. there was no night time infirmary nurse and she knew now was her only opportunity to sneak away. the clock on the pale blue walls read one in the morning, jackson was asleep. the only people she would need to avoid were night patrols, and the guards around the armory.

she hauled herself out of bed, her feet dragging on the cold floor and she located her bag. her clothes from the camping trip were tucked inside and she quickly changed. ellie tried to picture the men’s faces, and all that came to her were figures whisking you away. she decided it was best to not think about it, but it was a lot easier said than done and she found herself shaking her head frequently to rid the images from her mind.

slipping out of the infirmary was easy, a small house on the corner of a dead end street. the streetlamps had been turned off by now, saving power and ellie easily made her way towards the armory. she approached in a crouch, hiding behind a bush in the shadows. she watched as the guards were laughing, telling stories and all around not paying attention. the armory was a larger building near the stables, the guards were circled around a makeshift booth at the front.

sneaking to the side of the building she tugged open a window and crawled inside. she loaded herself with her usual rifle that she took on patrols. taking it down from the wall she stared at it for too long, remembering the day she taught you how to shoot.

“all you have to do is point, aim and–”

“if you say point, aim and fire one more time.” you laughed at her, your attention shifting between the gun and ellie.

“i’m just trying to help you, pumpkin.”

instead of making her feel soft and warm, the memory made her go cold. she couldn’t place you, your face was a cloudy mess in her mind but your voice rang true. her eyes glossed over, hearing your laugh in her head and all she could think of what she would do to these people once she found them. in a haze she stuffed supplies in her bag, a surplus of ammo for her rifle and pistol and then some. she removed her switchblade from her bag and put it in her back pocket for easy access, throwing a trench knife into the backpack just in case.

she was almost back of out the window she came in when she realized the trip was going to be long, and she had no food in her bag whatsoever. sighing, she looked around. the left over food from the guards littered the small counter to the side of the room. sandwiches and nuts and ellie figured it would have to do and before long she was sneaking to her usual spot in the fence.

the walk to it was familiar, she had done it with you a thousand times. it was a loose panel of wood that to the unknowing eye would be a secured fence, but with a gentle tug, it gave way. ellie and you had discovered it one day, and it quickly became your get-a-way whenever one of you wanted to escape the confines of the walls. there was a small over-look just beyond the wall, about a ten minute walk from jackson. ellie had drawn you there with the landscape behind you, the picture is hanging on the wall in her garage and she cherishes it like it was gold.

she pictured you there, trying to remember how peaceful you were to her. like the calm in the storm that was her life. all she could conjure was that night so she dropped it and viciously bit her cheeks with frustration. ellie came to the broken piece of wood, taking a quick look around before pushing it and then herself through the gap. the forest beyond was still and quiet. peaceful almost. putting the board back in place, she turned and headed for the highway.

readers pov

– day of the kidnapping

the last you saw ellie she was falling to the ground as she came up to your campsite. the man who had been hiding behind the tree knocked her out with a swift blow to the head. you cried out, thrashing in the hands of the man who had lifted you from the ground. “fucking let go of me!” you shouted as your world tumbled around you, you fell into the bed of the truck with a hard smack, pain shot up your spine and you groaned, rolling over.

the man jumped up onto the back of the truck, making it wobble with his weight. you crawled backwards instinctively, your eyes darting from him and your motionless girlfriend on the ground yards away. your stomach turned as he pulled his fist back and there was nothing you could do before he brought it down heavily onto your skull and everything went black.

while unconscious, your mind brought you back to ellie’s room. her stereo playing softly as you sat on her bed, watching her read the same book she always did. her eyes scanned the pages as if she had never seen it before. she was laying on her stomach, legs dangling over the side of the bed as she flipped the pages. it was a book about the constellations in the sky and every so often she would show you a page and say it reminded her of you. “this one–” she showed you, a cheeky smile on her face as she turned the book towards you.

“that just looks like lines, els.” you chuckled at her while you examined the page. you never understood her when she spoke about space, but you liked to hear her ramble. her voice was so comforting to you and it always brought you back down to earth.

“no, no, pumpkin, look–” she pointed with her fingers on the page, outlining the stars. “its cassiopeia on her throne. d’ya see it?” her soft green eyes met yours, a hopeful look in them.

you didn’t see it, you just saw lines on a page but ellie’s enthusiasm poured through her and who were you to deny her of it. “yeah, i see it,” you lied, getting closer to get a better look hoping it will just come to you. “why do you say that?”

“dunno,” she shrugged, looking back to the page. “but it says here she was a queen, so i think that’s why.”

her words always left you feeling like the most special person, and to ellie you were. you playfully hit her with a pillow, causing a mildly loud “ow!” from her.

“you’re so fucking cheesy,” you smiled, hitting her again with the pillow. as you brought it down on her she grabbed it. ellie moved quickly and sat on her knees as she struggled to take the pillow from you. she looked down at you, back against the bed and giggling so sweetly. she was able to snatch the pillow, throwing it to the side and leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“you love it, shut up.” her words bounced off your face and she pulled her face down to be directly in front of yours. her eyes stared into yours and you could see just how much she loved you on full display within her green eyes. she leaned in to kiss you and as her lips brushed against yours, the world around you melted away.

you felt cold and you could swear your eyes were open but you couldn’t see anything. you felt around, the ground beneath you was solid and ragged and as you moved you heard the clanking of chains. moving your hands down your legs you sensed the frigid metal that encased your ankle, following the chain with your hands to a bolt in the wall.

the walls had the same texture as the floor and you began to panic. you recounted the last memory you had, ellie laying on the ground. the man punching you in the face. reaching up to touch your sensitive skin, a sharp pain came from your cheek and you gasped. incoherent curses came stringing out of your mouth that quickly turned to yelling. you shouted for ellie, her name bounced off of the walls around you and with every call unanswered the hope inside you diminished. the darkness was over-bearing and you were forced to picture every horrible thing these people could do to you simply just because they could. your voice, that was still begging for ellie, became hoarse. a lump settled in your throat from wailing and you felt sick to your stomach.

you knew none of this was helpful. the screaming, the wailing, but you couldn’t help it. the emotions poured out of you until there was nothing left, ellie could be dead and you were locked up god knows where. you hadn’t even begun to think of why they had taken you, your head was too jambled to think straight. and after what seemed like hours in the black void of your cell, a dim light flickered on and came peeking beneath a door you didn’t even know was there. it illuminated the room just enough to see that cement encased you behind the metal door.

with a click of a lock the door opened and the sudden light hitting your eyes made you jump, shielding your face with your hands. you heard footsteps approach you slowly but stop a few feet away. a cold hand came up to your forearm and you swung, trying to keep whoever this was away from you at all costs. but their cold hands grasped your arms, forcing you to look upon them. the dim overhead light in the next room outlined the man in front of you, you couldn’t make out a face but he was brutish, and he smelled like a campfire.

“don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” the man growled, the taunting in his voice was sinister.

you used all the energy you could to spit in his face and he recoiled, letting go of your arms to wipe his face and he took a step back. “fuck you!” you snarled, spit leaving your mouth with the anger that boiled inside of you.

he chuckled as he wiped the remaining spit from his face, “we could have killed you, ya know?” the man muttered, taking small strides towards the metal door. his hand reached for the wall, turning on an overhead light in your cell. looking around, it seemed to be a basement. you could see stairs past the door to the cement room and as you peered through the door, the man repositioned himself in front of your face.

you didn’t say anything and his head cocked to the side as he knelt in front of you. “but we didn’t, do you know why?” his tone was antagonizing and as your eyes adjusted you could make out his face, a large scar was centered by his nose as if he had been cut. you shook your head at his question, not wanting to speak. also because your throat stung from the previous screaming.

“well,” he looked to the side, using his hands on his knees to hoist himself back up to his feet and he towered over you. “i would have told you but–” he motioned to his face, still glistening from your spit. “maybe tomorrow.” his words were fast, he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

in a panic you lurched forward, arm out and you tried to stop him. your ankle tugging on the chain as you reached for him.“wait, please don’t!” came rushing out of your mouth but it was too late. the light was switched off and as the door shut behind him, you were enveloped in the darkness yet again.

— four days after the kidnapping

the black void of your cell had become never ending. after the man with the scar left, the only time anyone would open the door was to give you as little food as possible. keeping you weak and unable to fight back, but alive just enough to do whatever they had planned. if you had been told you were here for a week you would have believed it, time moves weird in the dark and you never knew what time of the day it was, if they were swerving you breakfast or dinner– you had no idea.

at first you tried to stand, to pace around and get your body moving. after a while it became too repetitive and you fell to your knees, tired and disoriented. you hadn’t moved an inch since, just laying curled up on the floor with your back to the door. the only thing that kept you occupied besides sleeping was reliving memories, playing them over and over again in your head. they were all of ellie, her freckled face and auburn hair and that stupid constellations book.

she was your every waking thought and even slipped her way into your dreams. ellie was the only thing keeping you from going completely insane in the darkness. you could picture her so clearly, but when you thought about her voice it never sounded right. you were only able to hear it in your dreams, but when you woke it slipped away like water in your hands. traceable, but not recognisable. you made it your mission to remember, a small controllable goal in a situation so far out of your hands and it provided a sense of comfort. as much as it could.

you were tracing her name over the cold ground beneath you, whispering it softly as if it was a crime when you drifted off once again. it had become routine and a sure fire way to make sure she was in your dreams, her voice and all. this time your dreams planted you in the memory of watching her favorite movie together, curled up on the couch with your head in her lap and her hands playing in your hair.

“don’t get attached to her,” ellie said casually above you, pointing to the small tv. you groaned, looking up at her and her innocent eyes met yours.

“you spoil every movie, els.” you say with a fake annoyance in your voice, playfully swatting at the hand pointing to the tv.

“i didn’t say what happens to her!” her hands go up defensively, looking down at you in her lap. her face had been speckled with sun freckles from the previous day, leaving it absolutely covered from her chin to her forehead. even her eyebrow slit had a few small dots in it, and you found it hard to be annoyed with her.

turning your attention back to the movie with an unsure mhm, your eyes left hers and for a moment there was silence. and ellie couldn’t help herself, she mumbled, “exceptshetotallygetschoppedinhalf.”

you sprung up, your head leaving her lap, positioning yourself next to her on your knees. swiftly you propelled her down and straddled her torso. dramatic gasps left her mouth and she placed her hands on your hips, looking you up and down. “you’re gonna pay for that, you know,” you said to her, cupping her face with one hand.

“i’m soooo scared, pumpkin” she teased, and as the words left her mouth it was like someone had pressed the mute button. her lips moved, and she was definitely talking but her voice was gone, like it had blown away in the wind. the nickname you cherished so deeply from her inaudible and as you realized this your eyes snapped open. the darkness was back, and ellie was gone, along with her voice.

you tried to cling on to it, but the harder you tried to remember it, the further it went in your mind. if you weren’t so dehydrated, you’d be crying and thrashing around, desperately hoping for her voice to come back to you. but instead being too weak to do anything, you pulled your legs up to your chest and laid in the silence. you didn’t know how long you had been asleep, not that it mattered anyway, but your stomach was feeling emptier than ever before so it must have been a while.

remnants of your dream flashed in your mind and your hand placed itself on your face as ellie had always done, imagining it was her. imagining her coming to save you, her holding you. every thought that consumed you was her. she can’t be dead. you repeat to yourself like your own little mantra. she isn’t dead.

time shifted again and you heard footsteps coming down the stairs beyond the door. the metal door clicked and opened as it always did, but instead of food being thrown at you in the dark, the lightswitch flicked on. your eyes nearly burst from the pain after being in the dark for so long and you covered them with your hands. “ready to talk like a civilized person?” the raspy voice spoke and you removed your hands from your face, squinting your eyes until they adjusted.

you nodded slightly and the man with the scar sighed, “good,” he crouched in front of you and you locked eyes with him, anger filling you up head to toe but you fought against it. “where’d we leave off, huh?”

“w-why you took me,” your voice was small and you realized you hadn’t actually talked in days besides muttering ellie’s name to yourself.

“right!” he exclaimed loudly, making you jump as it echoed off the walls. “you seemed valuable, at least to that girl,” as he acknowledged ellie, your face lit up and you hung on to his words. “so we figured, you’d be a good bargaining chip for food and whatnot.”

the nonchalantness in his voice made your skin crawl and your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. “and you think giving me back like this will get you what you want?” you asked, your voice slowly returning. the man looked down on you with a smug expression.

“if they want you back alive, yeah. i do. we’re gonna send a party to your town to give them our demands for you,” his finger grazed your leg and you snaked it back. the chains rattled as you did and a chuckle came from him. “we just need to know exactly what you people got.”

worry swirled around inside of you and you knew what ellie would do in this situation, so you remained as strong as you could, picturing her in your mind. “i’m not telling you anything–”

“it’s your choice,” he sighed, reaching into his back pocket. he pulled out a small knife and it was too similar to ellie’s for your liking. “just know you can change your mind at anytime.” with that, his knife pierced your skin and your screams filled the room.

ellie’s pov

— five days after the kidnapping

ellie had been traveling on foot for two days now. her head still ached with the concussion she suffered and her feet felt like they were on fire with every step. everytime she felt like stopping, a foggy image of you would cross her mind and she would keep going. she only stopped when she was practically falling over, hours after the sun had gone down.

by the second day, her legs were giving out on her. she stumbled into the underbrush to the side of the road, falling to her knees and then flat on her stomach. too exhausted to eat and sleep came easy to her. she knew it would only be an hour of sleep but she physically couldn’t go any further tonight. so she embraced sleep, knowing it would only make her nightmares surface yet again.

tonight her nightmare seemed to be a complete recollection of that night. she was in the tent with you and you rambled about a book you had borrowed from dina. ellie was rifling through her backpack, looking for the constellations book. she had promised to show you cassiopeia on her throne in the night sky, but her book wasn’t in her bag. “i fuckin’ packed it,” she said mindlessly, dumping her belongings out onto your sleeping bag.

“it’s okay, we can find it without the book.” you reassured her, a soft smile on your face as you did.

“no, there was– ugh,” she sighed, accepting defeat. you looked at her, a puzzled expression on your face that she couldn’t quite see. “i had something for you, it was in the book.”

“i’m sure whatever it was, i’ll love it when we get back just as much.” you leaned up, planting a delicate kiss on her lips. ellie’s worry washed away and placed a hand to your cheek when you pulled apart.

thats when the silent forest came to life. animals could be heard sprinting between trees, and the birds caulking as they were so rudely woken up by whatever had scared them. ellie’s head turned to the opening in the tent and you grabbed her arm, forcing her to look back to you.

she saw the usual cloudy mess instead of your face, but in her dreams it seemed to be normal. she sat up, rubbing the arm that clutched hers before she spoke. “probably just a runner, i’ll be right back.” she kissed the top of the blur and felt the grip loosen around her arm.

“be quick–” you whispered to her as she left the warm tent into the chill air. ellie looked around the campsite, not seeing anything but the noises of the animals still alarmed her, so she expanded her search.

she had wandered down to the small creek about twenty yards from you, hoping the sound of the rushing water had attracted the infected but there was none in sight and as she turned to make her way back to you, and the night you had planned, your shriek came barreling through the trees.

not hesitating for a second, ellie was running. her fists pumping at her sides like a madman, she didn’t have time to think about what could possibly be tormenting you, but when she bursted into the campsite and her eyes locked on you, thrashing in the grasp of a random man, her heart sank to her stomach. your face was no longer blurred, she could see every detail that made your face so perfect but your terrified expression haunted her and the gun coming down on her head sprung her awake.

the sun hadn’t risen yet and her surroundings were still dark. she pushed herself off the ground, not wanting to go back to sleep until you were next to her. coming from the trees that lined the highway, she kept going. the little rest she got was enough to propel her forward and while she walked her mind wandered. it wasn’t long before the sound of morning birds snapped her out of a haze and as she looked up from her feet she saw a welcome to utah sign. it was still dark, probably the very beginning of the morning and ellie noticed smoke coming from the trees just behind the sign.

not hesitating she moved closer, taking her steps slowly and lowering herself to the ground, she pushed past the trees and saw the makings of a camp. a giant fire roared in the middle of all the people sleeping around it. her eyes landed on the man to the left, furthest from the horses and a picture flashed in her mind. he laid there peacefully, but ellie recognized him as the man who had knocked her out. and suddenly her thoughts halted themselves and her feet moved for her.

knowing she could never take all of them at once, especially as exhausted as she was, ellie decided on a different plan. starting with the woman closest to the horses, she positioned herself right next to her and grabbed the knife she had placed in her pocket. ellie’s hand covered the womans mouth and her eyes opened harshly. without a second thought, she sliced the knife along the neck of the panicked woman.

the fires crackling was enough to mask the sound of her blood gurgling from the wound. the woman grasped at ellie desperately trying to save her own life but her movements soon slowed, her arms falling to her sides. removing her hand, she moved on to the next one. watching as the life drained from him as well as he struggled to alert his friends. ellie had gone glossy eyed, and if she was being honest she wasn’t in full control of her actions. her mind only had one goal, and these people stood in her way. they caused this. they deserve it.

blood spattered onto her face while she glided the switchblade across the neck of the third man, once he had stopped fighting back and his eyes were staring blankly up into the sky ellie locked her own eyes on the final man. the one who had prevented her from saving you, now that it was only him left she stomped over to him. as she approached him, her chest was heaving and blood dripped from her face.

she stood over him for a moment, watching as he slept peacefully. cocking her head to the side, she kicked him harshly in the stomach. immediately he rolled over, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain. ellie drove her foot into his now exposed back and he cried out in pain yet again. despite his pain, the man tried to get away. crawling on his hands and knees as quickly as he could, he only made it a few feet when the sound of ellie’s gun cocking made him stop in his tracks.

“turn around,” ellie grunted, her breathing more heavy than before. the man did as he was told, and as he did his eyes widened at the sight of ellie, covered in blood, sweat and dirt. they wandered past her, looking upon his dead friends and his hands raised to the side of his head.

“take it all–”

“you remember me?” her voice was low, hushed even and as the terrified man studied her face his eyebrows raised slightly, and ellie’s lips threatened to curl at the ends. “yeah, you remember me.”

the man remained quiet in his realization and ellie’s gaze directed itself at the paper poking out from his pocket. the fire illuminated the camp just enough to see it was a map and she motioned her gun towards it, “you’re gonna show me exactly where she is.” her voice was flat but firm.

“i can’t do that–” his voice trembled and his words were cut off by ellie moving closer to him, her gun now directly in his face.

“you don’t have a fucking choice!” she shouted, ripping the map from his pocket while her gun remained closely trained on him. she laid it flat on the ground, crouching down to his level and staring him down. he shook his head feverishly, terrified of ellie but even more concerned about her finding their base. while he refused to speak, she had grown tired of waiting and with her available hand took her switchblade and dug it deeply into his thigh and twisted with all her strength.

he wailed, losing balance on his knees and falling to his side. ellie removed the knife, wiping it clean on her jeans before lowering her head to him. “you’d better start fucking talking.”

the gun was still pointed to his face and he looked at her with disdain, “i’m fucking dead anyway why would i tell you anything.” he said breathlessly, trying to cover the hole in his leg with his hands and failing miserably.

“because i can make it quick,” she twirled her switchblade in her fingers, grazing it over his cheeks as he winced back. “or i could make it so much worse.”

“fuck you!” he spat with all his might and ellie dug her knife into his arm, sliding it down while it tore open his flesh. his screams filled the woods around them and in a desperate attempt to save his life, he reached for her gun.

it pointed up and ellie fired at the sudden scramble. the man tackled her to the ground, pinning her down and fighting to take the gun from her hand. in the tussle, her switchblade fell from her grasp and landed a few feet away. in a panic she fought for the gun, kneeing the man in the stomach as hard as she could but he remained firm on top of her. her free hand swung up, knocking him on the head and his grip on the gun loosened. as she yanked it back, it slipped from her own hands and fell to the ground. while he was stunned from her punch, ellie managed to throw him off of her. she rolled around, looking on the ground for her gun but it blended in so well with the dirt and sticks she couldn’t see it.

taking a quick look back to the man, he had picked up a rather large rock and tried smashing it down on her head. ellie moved, nearly missing having her head bashed in and she noticed her blade glistening in the now rising sun. she army crawled as the man grasped at her legs to pull her back. her fingers fiddled with the handle before she was able to firmly wrap her hand around it. as she did, the man dragged her back towards him and while he tried to position himself on top of her, ellie plunged the switchblade deep into his chest. the crunch of it piercing his sternum confirmed it was a deadly hit and she watched as he lost any hope to stay alive.

his mouth hung open in shock, looking down to the puncture wound and his hands went to grasp around it. his legs straddled ellie’s torso, allowing the blood that poured from it to fall directly onto her. the man coughed and instead of spit, blood spewed from his mouth staining his teeth in the process before he fell over beside her. ellie didn’t move, her breathing erratic from the fight.

the man gurgled on his own blood for a moment before it got quiet again, the woods silent as ever except for her heaving breaths. her hands fell to her sides and she gazed up to the sky, the stars still burning brightly above the trees. all of her exhaustion hit her at once like a truck and she fought to keep her eyes from closing. right before she thought sleep would consume her and she would have to relive her worst nightmare all over again, she saw the makings of a constellation. at first, it wasn’t recognizable, just another clump of stars in the galaxy. but when it clicked in her mind, she propped herself up on her elbows and the tiredness melted away. it was cassiopeia.

that was everything she needed. ellie got up with a new surge of energy, taking the map with her and anything else she could find useful. she strode away from the grim scene on their horse, following the map to the first exit off the utah highway. with the horse, the rest of the journey seemed like light work. it was only an hour before she spotted the fences to the community.

tying the horse to a hidden tree for a get-away, she circled the small town. the fence was chain linked and she watched inside as the town woke up to start their day. ellie was able to see that only a small amount of people woke up this early, leaving the streets barely occupied.

staying in the shadows, she slipped under the fence that was poorly secured. she found herself in between two small houses, ellie could make out mumbled words from the street so she moved up, making sure to stay as close to the wall of the house as possible.

“....hopefully they will come back with the stuff by tomorrow.” a woman's voice could be heard, ellie dared not to peek around the corner and listened further to their conversation.

“we don’t even know if they have anything, we could be chasing a dead end.” ellie’s eyebrows furrowed as the second voice spoke. she figured they were talking about the group she had slaughtered, but could jackson be the dead end they were speaking about? is that why they wanted you?

“just gotta hope for the best, i guess.” the woman spoke again before her footsteps could be heard walking away. ellie’s body tensed up, quickly her mind showed her the haunting image of your face and she shook her head, focusing her eyes around the corner. she caught a glimpse of the woman walking down the sidewalk, leaving the man to stand in front of the house alone. he was reading a note intensely and ellie took a look around to make sure her coast was clear.

she came up behind him, swiftly covering his mouth and dragging him back between the houses for cover. she ripped the note from his hands and used the bandana that had been around his head to cover his mouth and threw him to the ground. while she examined the note, her pistol was focused on him keeping him in place.

residents be advised that your council is doing all they can to provide for you. we are currently bartering with a town in wyoming for food, and unlike last time, we are sure they will be more than happy to provide.

ellie balled up the paper in her fists, scoffing and throwing it beside the man. “the girl, where is she?” ellie hissed at him, keeping her voice low. he mumbled through the bandana and she rolled her eyes. “don’t fucking scream, you can make it out of this.” she said before pulling the bandana down.

the mans eyes were wide with fear as he looked upon ellie, but he spoke fast and quietly while darting his eyes between her and the gun. “i don’t know about a girl, i really don’t plea–”

ellie shook her head before snatching his wrist in her hand, bending his finger back and he winced. “okay, okay okay,” he rushed out, feeling his finger about to snap. “our hunters, they came back a few days ago with something they wouldn’t tell anyone about,” he paused, looking at ellie and her grip loosened.

“keep talking.” she ordered him and he stammered his words, trying to desperately abide by her rules.

“usually they bring the meat to the kitchen but-but they parked the truck outside of our leaders house, said it was nothing but it didn-didn’t look like nothin’.”

ellie moved the gun into his neck, nuzzling it right below his ear and his breathing hitched up. “where?”

“go left do-down the street, the truck is old you can’t miss it!” ellie knew the truck all too well and without another word she removed the gun from his neck and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“thanks–” ellie whispered as her switchblade lodged itself in his neck. he didn’t scream, just looked at her wide-eyed as he tried to stop his neck from bleeding. ellie didn’t wait around, his blood still bubbling as she walked away, turning left down the street.

she was careful, she moved down the street hiding behind cars, bushes and whatever else she could find. when she was starting to think the man had given her bad information, the truck came into view. it was parked blissfully in the driveway of a quaint looking house. she found herself climbing through an open window on the first floor, escaping the street and its peering eyes. ellie landed in the living room of the house, it wasn’t decorated, the walls were blank and the furniture looked like it was rotting away.

that's when she heard voices coming from upstairs, she almost ascended the stairs herself but the voices were coming closer. she hid behind the dusty couch as the stairs creaked and found herself in the company of two men who had no idea she was eavesdropping.

“we already sent the group, why do you need more from her?” the raspy voice uttered, a hint of annoyance laced in his tone.

ellie heard a long sigh, “because they could become our primary suppliers. as long as we have her, they will give us whatever we want. for as long as we want.” the second man spoke with a heavy country accent and her blood boiled, she stopped herself from jumping the two, instead listening for more information.

“she wasn’t very forthcoming the first time–”

his voice was cut off, “well fuckin’ make her. i told you whatever it takes.” another sigh filled her ears, and she wasn’t sure who had done it but feet were stomping away and she glanced around the couch. she witnessed a bald man opening a door down a dark hallway, while the man who had the accent went back upstairs. her brain was split, but she knew they wouldn’t have kept you upstairs so she followed the bald man with the raspy voice, opening the door silently and descending the stairs that were behind it.

the end of the staircase opened up to a dimly lit basement, it was unfinished and dirty. she caught a glance at a metal door at the opposite end of the room before turning her attention back to the bald man, who was crouching down beside a workbench. it was lined with tools, but ellie knew what they were for. so as fast as she could, she approached him. he was barely able to turn around before she tackled him to the ground. the man was big but being caught off guard helped ellie as her hands gripped around his neck.

she put all of her body weight into his neck, he was choking and failing his arms around at ellie. it didn’t phase her, even when he had slapped her across the face in his panic. her face was contorting with all the exertion and she stared down at him, never breaking eye contact. a scar was slashed across his face and she recognized this as the man who had thrown you into the truck, the image coming to her clearly. his eyes were bulging from their sockets and his legs were kicking with a passion but as ellie came to this realization she jerked her hands down, the applied pressure breaking his neck under her hands and he immediately went limp.

in a cloudy haze she stood up, catching her breath and looking around for a key. she practically threw everything off of the workbench in front of her and when she didn’t find it she moved back to the man on the floor. she dug through his pockets and her fingers found a small metal key.

she walked towards the metal door slowly. now that she was here, she was terrified of what she would see behind the door. she put the key into the lock and turned, earning a click. she breathed out all the air in her lungs before pushing it open and her heart was beating faster than she had ever known possible. the room was dark, and seemed empty. the light from the other room allowed her to see a small switch on the wall and she flicked it on, now fearing you werent even here.

but you were. the light came on and your hands flew to your face shielding your eyes. ellie’s eyes immediately brimmed with tears seeing you. she took a step forward, taking off her backpack and laying it on the ground beside her. you were so obviously injured, puncture wounds up and down your legs with dried blood surrounding them. the chain around your ankle had almost embedded itself in your skin, resulting in a horrible looking bruise that had worked its way up your leg. ellie breathlessly said your name, tears falling from her eyes and your hands moved from your face slowly.

your eyes weren’t adjusted, you just saw a blurry figure in front of you but you could have sworn you heard her voice. the voice that had escaped you every time you tried to hold on to it, and you thought your brain was playing a cruel prank. “please don’t,” you uttered quietly, fearing she was the man with the scar coming back to torture you more.

ellie dropped to her knees in front of you, looking at your battered body not able to form words. they had broken you, and she blamed herself. anger brewed inside of her but in this moment, she remained soft spoken. “it’s me,” she whispered, reaching her hand out to touch your leg which you snaked away, still not believing she was actually there. you believed you were so desperate to see her, to hear her, that she materialized out of thin air. but that meant you were truly losing your sanity and you could barely look at her.

“its not you–” you said back to her, looking to the floor and ellie’s eyes shut tightly to hold back anymore tears. you had backed up all the way to the wall, leaving ellie in the center of the room. she slowly moved to you as you watched her from your peripheral view.

she came up in front of you, “it’s me, pumpkin,” and placed a hand to your shallow cheek as she always had done.

feeling her warm hands on your face, you met her eyes. her warmth couldn’t be your imagination and your own eyes welled up as she dragged her thumb carelessly across your cheek. her appearance didn’t even phase you, all you cared about was her. “ellie,” you sighed, shutting your eyes and placing your hand on top of hers that cupped your face. “you’re actually here?” your voice was small and faint, and it felt like ellie was stabbed in the heart.

the blur that ruined her memories of you was gone. even the image of you being whisked away was gone. she scanned your still perfect face, it’s only faults being sunken in from hunger and bruising that littered your cheeks but it was still perfection to her. she felt more relief than she had when she killed the man in the woods, and the bald man that still laid a few feet away. you were here in front of her, finally. ellie couldn’t help but smile at you, all her efforts hadn’t been in vain.

“i’m actually here,” she repeated to you, connecting your foreheads together. “i found you.”

ellie leaned back, inches from your face. her voice rang in your ears and you felt like you were floating with every word that came from her mouth after missing it for so long. you managed a smile for her. she was so close to you that you had barely seen the figure towering over her from behind, your mouth began to form her name to warn her but it was too late. the figure smashed ellie over the head and she fell unconscious beside you.

#ellie williams #ellie williams fic #ellie williams x you #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fanfiction #biblically accurate ellie williams #angst angst angst #ellie williams the last of us part 2 #santa barbra ellie

1K notes · View notes

still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year ago

Text

Love it when characters casually reveal some insane childhood trauma with a nostalgic smile on their face because this is just a normal part of their childhood how fun! to the absolute horror of those around them who are very much in the 'that's not normal what the actual fuck' boat

Okay but here's what makes me tear up:

This conversation happens in a devilgram where Diavolo is picking apples for Barbatos to make an apple pie for him and it cuts to a flashback that shows Diavolo wanted an apple tree to impress his new angel friend and excitedly tells this to Barbatos. Barbatos then helps Diavolo plant an apple tree in the forest

Isn't that rattling your brain!!!? Aren't you foaming at the mouth!?!?!

The Demon King enchanted this forest to be full of things that could hurt and kill his child, all in the name of preparing Diavolo to be a better king

Then Barbatos helps Diavolo plant apple trees in it, because Diavolo wants to share it with their enemy, a gesture of friendship and good will that would eventually bring peace to the three worlds* which in turn helps Diavolo grow towards becoming a better king

Diavolo's father created a deadly survival course for a child so he wouldn't get bored, something that would keep Diavolo away from him, and the man who actually raised Diavolo spent time with Diavolo helping him grow apple trees in it

A labour of love grown and tended to for years, if not centuries, just so Diavolo could give his friend apples (another gesture of love) built upon the soil of something that was meant to push and punish Diavolo into being the ideal ruler

*(over a series of meetings Diavolo & Lucifer become friends -> Lucifer starts questioning things in the Celestial Realm -> Lucifer, pushed by the sentence against Lilith, starts a war in the Celestial Realm -> Lucifer seeks sanctuary in the Devildom -> Diavolo helps Lucifer + reincarnates Lilith -> Lucifer pledges his loyalty to Diavolo + through Lilith's line MC is eventually born -> through MC & the brothers' fates being tied Lucifer accidentally picks MC for the exchange program -> MC showing that people from all three worlds could not only be close friends but family starts mending bridges + MC wanting to stay in the Devildom permanently gets everyone actively pushing for peace leading to them becoming part of the student council/government and challenging the views of the older/more conservative demons -> all this eventually kickstarts both Diavolo & Lucifer's character & relationship development -> Diavolo learns to be a more considerate ruler & person who listens to others instead of immediately jumping in with his own plans & ideas + Lucifer learns to actually push back against Diavolo & not just be his 'Yes Man')

Also this Devilgram is called "The Seven Apples"

and with lines like,

"Still...I hope that all this effort bears fruit, someday"

"With enough care and attention, I'm certain that it shall."

"Ah, well. Good things come to those who wait, and all that."

And talk about the future of the Devildom and how they pick exactly seven apples, the whole tree talk/metaphor is 100% about gaining the friendship & trust of Lucifer and his brothers by putting in the effort, care and attention to one day, years in the future, have seven shining apples with you

BUT, EVEN WITHOUT THAT DOUBLE MEANING,

It's not just a tree.

It's all about love, isn't it and the things we do for the people we love.

517 notes · View notes

justporo · 1 year ago

Text

The Push and the Pull (There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin)

I'm so deep in my feelings today, just sitting on the sofa being sick. So this is what you get: an angsty, fluffy, deeply corny fic of Astarion and Tav having a heart to heart. (Fueled by Taylor Swift and underlined by a Hozier lyric in the title, we really out here using all the clichés today)

And I'd really like to dedicate this to all my friendly and lovely and caring mutuals and friends here today - those I talk to almost every day now, those who created lovely art for me and those who are just all around so so lovely to me.

Summary: Since Astarion's confession, Tav and the vampire have spent every single possible moment together, getting closer, but guilt weighs on her and so she speaks her mind - about more than one thing apparently.

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

Warnings: Talk about sex and past trauma

Wordcount: 2,4k

Song: This is me trying - Taylor Swift

~~~

You laid with Astarion in his tent, all entangled: your arms around his upper body, one leg hooked around his and the other mushed between his as well. And Astarion held you just as desperately. His arms always seemed to drag you in closer as to not allow just the tiniest piece of space between you. His hands were roaming your back, softly caressing it and his face burrowed in your hair, softly nuzzling you with his nose.

Your face was buried in his chest, breathing in his scent: camp fire smoke, forest pine needles and some of the scent he liked to put on with bergamot and brandy.

You wanted to hold him as closely as possible. Wanting to give him as much of this comfort as possible.

Since his confession at Moonrise Towers you had spent every single night together. At first Astarion had seemed a bit surprised when you had come over and told him you wanted to spend the evening and the night with him. Seemingly he hadn’t been able to wrap his head around the fact that you actually wanted to spend time with him – with both your clothes on. Despite you assuring him after his confession that you cared deeply for him and were more than prepared to aid him in figuring out what he needed. And waiting, waiting until he was comfortable again for other stuff – or even finding new ways altogether if that was what was required.

But soon he’d been awaiting you every evening to come over, seeming like a kid that was desperate to be allowed to finally leave the dinner table to go play whenever you and the rest set up camp for the night. And so usually during the evening when the whole party retired you spent your nights with the vampire. Talking, detangling his hair, kissing, him massaging your tensed back, joking around until you both almost cried, worrying about what the next day or battle would bring, reading, playing cards with a deck you had pickpocketed somewhere, just getting to know each other better.

At this point you both really enjoyed that your elven nature allowed you to stay up way longer than most other party members – grateful for the extra time to spend with each other.

But the thing you probably spent most of your time with was: holding each other. Laying like this, feeling each other’s bodies, delighting in the comfort to know the other one was alive and just as eager to be held.

Astarion could seemingly never get enough of having you in his arms. Always pulling you back into his arms in the morning when you tried to crawl out of his tent to start the day. Always groaning and hugging you harder when you started to protest until you gave in – if only for five more minutes. And how could you deny him anyway – this was the bare minimum he deserved after two hundred years of torment and being stripped of the most basic needs.

And also you wanted to imprint the feeling of his arms around you and his body against yours on your mind, wanting to memorise his smell – so to be able to always conjure this sensation and the feelings that came with it: warmth, joy, love.

You hadn’t quite put that last thing in words yet, but you’d known you felt like that for some time now. Your heart swelled achingly whenever you thought about Astarion. Your dearest wish being to keep him safe, help him heal and hold him close for as long as you were able to.

But tonight, you couldn’t shake a feeling of sadness. With all the positive developments in your relationship with the vampire there was this one thing that kept gnawing on your thoughts and lay heavy on your mind. And you felt you had to get it out now.

You pushed up from your cuddling position, Astarion immediately making a displeased noise and face while you leant on your arms to hover above him and look directly into his eyes. And you saw how his facial expression changed from mocking annoyance to worry, his brows drawing together, as he looked at you and obviously saw in your face that something was the matter.

He softly cupped your face with one hand: “What is it, my love? Is something wrong? Have I done something wro-“ “I’m-I’m sorry, Astarion”, you blurted out.

Immediately Astarion’s eyes filled with shock, his lips parted slightly – he obviously immediately thought that he had messed up in some kind of way. So you quickly continued to rip him out of his spiralling negative thoughts.

“I feel like… No… I took advantage of you and for that I feel terrible, Astarion, I’m so sorry. I know this does not changed what happened, but I wanted you to know that. And I hope you can forgive me for that”, you said and sat up, suddenly feeling you needed to be in an upright position to have this conversation.

Astarion sat up as well, leaning back on his hands and looking utterly confused. His eyes weren’t full of fear anymore but now filled with worry: “Love, could you please clarify because it seems I can’t catch up with what you mean.”

“The nights we slept with each other”, you replied immediately, feeling how the words and the feelings in you were desperate to get out. Tears started to well up in your eyes which you angrily started to rub away with your hands. “I treated you just as everyone else did. I don’t want that, I don’t want to use you, you deserve better”, you continued as the tears really started flowing in hot streams over your cheeks.

Astarion sat up further until he was in a cross-legged position and could lean to you to grab your hands that kept wiping away tears you felt you weren’t allowed to shed in this moment.

“Love, you feel like you took advantage of me when I told you I manipulated you into falling for me and now feel bad that you did exactly what I wanted you to do?”, he replied with sorrow on his face and you realised he had heaps of his own guilt.

You didn’t know how to reply so you just kept looking at him. “Tav, I understand what you mean but… How were you even supposed to know at that point?” You started to shrug, trying to say something like you would have had to know better but Astarion shushed you. He moved to cup your cheek.

“My sweet, please, I can’t even say how much I appreciate you saying this but please – leave it in the past, alright? I understand you feel bad for that and so do I for seducing you with ulterior motives in mind.”

You wanted to immediately reassure him that you were over this, but again he made you stay silent with softly lifting his free hand to silence you.

“Let us just agree to leave this behind us, alright? We are here now. Let’s not burden yourself with more than we already have going on, my love. This is a hard lesson I had to learn in life: you can’t undo what has happened, so sometimes it’s better to not let your mind be consumed by it.”

You softly nodded when he looked at you with raised eyebrows awaiting your approval. The tears had slowly subsided, but Astarion’s fingers were still softly brushing over your cheeks.

“And if it’s any reconciliation: it’s been different with you, from the very beginning.” He angled his head and his crimson gaze drifted away softly as he remembered.

“You were so eager to be held, to open your heart and give yourself to me. And more so, so eager to give back”, he whispered and absent-mindedly a warm smile crept onto his face before his brows drew together again. “And now you are with me. Every single free second you have you spend with me although I can’t… It’s…”, his words trailed off, his hand dropped from your face.

Astarion sighed and lifted his face to the ceiling of the tent. “I know you said you were willing to wait and… not have sex with me until I was ready for it. And the next time I want to fall into your arms, I want to be sure it's without fear, without a slither of doubt, with nothing on my mind but having you, but…” His words trailed off again, his gaze dropping to the floor. You cautiously reached for one of his hands, starting to softly knead it with yours.

After a few moments, Astarion sighed and looked directly at you, red eyes piercing: “The truth is… I want you, desperately. I can’t stop thinking about how your naked body felt against mine. Hells, I get aroused basically every time you’re even remotely close to me. I feel like a giddy adolescent around you at the best of times. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about burying my face between your legs, slobbering at you like a godsdamned dog until you forget anything but my name. Or about wanting to immerse myself in you, lose myself under your hands for I know I would not have to fear drowning. But it all feels so rotten. It’s so frustrating.” He withdrew his hand from yours and pressed both of them against his eyes with a sigh of frustration.

You could only sit there and listen to his speech, your cheeks heating slightly at his confession. And you realised that he was walking around with so much worry and pain and desperation.

“Would you rather I keep more of a dista-“ “NO!”, Astarion immediately exclaimed and stared at you. “Unless…”, he continued more calmly and with a tinge of worry in his voice, “I mean unless it makes you uncomfortable that I’m like a needy youth around you.” You immediately shook your head eagerly. Astarion went back to pressing his hands to his eyes.

“Astarion, I’m…” – you wanted to apologise again but Astarion shortly lifted his hands and gave you a stare that dared you to utter the words, so you just sighed and went on – “If I can do anything to help you, please tell me. But other than that: firstly, I want you too – more than is probably healthy, I’m sure you know that. But - look at me” – you grabbed his hands this time, forced him to look at you for the next words – “I love spending time with you like this. These are the best parts of my day. You’re a delight to be around, Astarion, you’re so smart and witty. I could listen to you talk for hours. If we could just stay here, laying in each other’s arms forever, you can bet your sweet ass, I would!”

You had almost shouted the last words, riling yourself up so much with your feelings for the vampire spawn. And you felt your feelings almost boil over in your chest, so you proceeded with the thought racing through your mind before you got too shy and wouldn’t put it out there:

“I love you, Astarion!”

It came out almost a little forceful and you pressed your lips together after the words had left your mouth. But you immediately were sure that it had been the right thing to do.

Astarion’s eyes widened at you, his mouth hanging open. His eyes jumped all over you, from your one eye to the other, to your lips and back again.

The silence drew out and you started to become uneasy, awkwardly starting to shift around in your sitting position as you waited for Astarion to react with something more than surprise.

“Sorry, I shouted”, you said and bit your lip “and you don’t have to say it back.” “Gods, stop apologising already, you idiot”, Astarion immediately replied and swung over to grab your face and kiss you – forcefully and passionately.

After some long moments he broke the kiss shortly: “Also I love you too, Tav.” And then he kissed you again, pulling you over until you sat in his lap. “I love you more than I ever loved anything”, he whispered in between kisses.

Somewhen, you leaned back until you were laying there again just like at the beginning of the night. Still kissing. And you stayed like this for a long time.

Much later you broke away, both your lips swollen from kissing, and just looked into each other’s eyes. You pressed your hand against Astarion’s with spread fingers – observing the differences between your hand and his.

“Astarion?”

“Hm?”, he simply hummed and kept staring at you.

“You said I didn’t have to apologise.”

“Hm.”

“I’ll have you know the same goes for you, okay? Because don’t think I didn’t realise you only spoke about me and left yourself out! I mean, yes, you manipulated you, but you fell for me in the end, you clown, and look where all that got you”, you said and couldn’t help grinning. You closed your fingers around Astarion’s hand.

Astarion grinned back: “Right in the best kind of mess I could have ever imagined. And now you’re stuck with this clown.” He moved his free hand to motion towards himself. “And I would argue a much more attractive clown than the average jester.”

You laughed softly at that and moved in to press another kiss to his lips. Then you buried your face against his chest again while he wrapped his arms around you closer.

“Would you mind saying it again?”, Astarion whispered softly.

For a moment, you were confused but then caught on. You lifted your head again to look directly into his open and shining red eyes: “I love you, Astarion.”

His eyes started to shine even more: “I love you, Tav.”

And you grinned at each other giddily until you had to press your head against his shirt and let out a little squeal of happiness and kick your feet while you heard and felt Astarion’s soft laugh rumbling through his chest.

Then you snuggled up against each other until you both lay comfortably and you both drifted off into your trance – while your hearts had yet moved a bit closer together.

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x oc #astarion x you #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #tav #bg3 #one shot

689 notes · View notes

xxacademy · 6 months ago

Text

SCARS AND ALL

gf!Jill Valentine x gn!Reader

SUMMARY: When your beloved girlfriend comes home from a difficult work trip it brings up complex feelings of love and trauma. But, it’s nothing that can’t be mended, especially by sharing each other’s loving affection.

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

CONTENT WARNINGS: fluff, established relationship, past emotional trauma, weapons (mentioned, not used), descriptions of injuries, wound cleaning, terms of endearment, kissing, & bathing.

She reminds you of a quiet forest in early spring. So lush, and full of life—but always perpetually raining. You find comfort in her beauty, but like that vernal forest, her mind is always a storm. Restless and pouring, her thoughts swirl with pain and grief, and it worries you sick. Rain, rain, rain. You can only hope for better days, you hope she can find the calm within her inner sanctum. For one day, the sun must come out.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

"You're back," you sighed as Jill stood in your home's entryway. She wore black skin-tight jeans and a really broken-in denim jacket.

She took a deep breath, dropping her bags on the hardwood floor. "I'm back, finally."

You wrapped your arms around Jill, squeezing her tight into your embrace. She rested her head into the crook of your neck, soaking in your touch.

"I missed your smell, y'know," Jill whispered into your skin.

And you missed hers dearly. Jill had a particular smell of moss, fresh air, linen, and sandalwood. It was something of a drug to you.

You slowly ran your hand up her back and combed your fingers through her short brown strands, tucking a piece behind her ear to reveal her face.

A large, fresh wound splayed across her cheek and nose. Dried blood was crusted around the edges, and her cheek was speckled with a purplish-green bruise.

Your heart skipped a beat, and your shaky hands traced along the perimeter of her cut. "Jill—"

"It's fine, I promise."

"What do you mean it's fine? You're beat to shit."

"That's how it goes, you know that," Jill retorted.

"I'm not trying to overreact, I just…"

"You just what?"

"Jill, I feel bad— I just feel bad seeing you hurt all the time."

"It's just a cut. You don't need to worry about me," she said, reaching her hand to her face and feeling her wound.

"It's not just the cut, I'm aware you get hurt. But, I worry about you, I know this wears you down."

"We can talk about this later. I'm not in the mood."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dig," you said, apologetically kissing Jill on the forehead.

"It's okay, I know. This is just a me thing." she sighed into your neck, her voice sounding heavy and tired.

"You need a bath, though," you laughed faintly.

"I smell disgusting."

You breathed deeply, "I mean, there's a bit of what I assume is monster blood in your hair."

"A day in the life of Agent Jill Valentine, I guess." she chuckled sarcastically, pressing a kiss to your neck. "But seriously, though, I'm getting in the bath."

She left your embrace, but not without a kiss, and faintly pressed her lips against yours. "It's good to be home," she smiled, heading for the bathroom.

While Jill was in the bath, you got to work unpacking her bags. First was a duffle bag filled with clothes, an array of guns, knives, ammo, more guns, and Jesus Christ. How many weapons does this woman need?

You pulled out her blood-stained clothes and put them into the wash. The weapons went onto a towel next to the safe, she'll want to clean them before putting them away.

You held her favored combat knife in your hand. The blade was worn down and nicked from years of use and many sharpenings. It was crusted with dried blood and yellowish pus.

This very knife has saved her for damn near everything, but it brought you to tears thinking of all she had to live through. Jill was never the one who needed saving. She's always been the protector. But at what cost? It was always at the expense of her own freedom and well-being.

Your precious girl deserved to be free from the hell that is her inner world.

She had a backpack that was mainly filled with folders, notebooks, medication, and whatever random shit she picked up from her two weeks away. You left that bag for her to deal with, though; she would actually murder you if you misplaced an important document.

Jill called your name from the bathroom, and you instantly met her there.

"What is it?" you asked. Jill was sitting in the bath, her chest pressed into her knees, wincing as she ran her hand down her back.

"My back, I got hit there and need help with it." she cracked.

You sat on the edge of the tub and inspected the damage. An angry red slice from a blade ran from her shoulder blade to her lower back.

"God, I think it's infected," you said, analyzing the swelling around the wound.

"Of course it is," Jill huffed.

"Just hang on, I'll clean it." You rummaged for a first aid kit from under the sink. Although you're not a nurse, at this point, you should be.

You prepped a cloth with alcohol and held it up to her wound, "It's gonna hurt, okay," you tried to warn her, but the shock was more than Jill could have expected.

She winced, recoiling back as you dragged the cold burn of the alcohol along her irritated skin.

"Ow, oh my god, that fucking hurts!" she exclaimed through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry. Just give me a second, and I'll be done."

You got her cut cleaned up. Jill's head rested on her knees, which exposed her bruise-ridden body.

Regardless, she was perfect. Her pretty olive skin contrasted warmly against the bubble bath. Her arms were muscular, with raised veins running down her long, dainty fingers.

Although the thought of the bruises made your stomach ache, they undoubtedly made her look tough but no less beautiful.

"Okay, my love, you should be better. Is there anything else I can do for you?" you asked, standing up.

Jill's head still rested on her knees as she answered, "No, that should be everything."

"Okay then," you headed for the door, wanting to give her some privacy.

"Where are you going?" Jill said as you were stepping out the doorway.

"Just to the kitchen, why?"

"You should stay."

"Music to my ears," you hummed, stepping back. And resume your spot perched on the side of the tub.

"It's awfully lonely in this big tub all by myself," Jill said shyly, rubbing soap along her arms. "And how am I supposed to get clean without your help?"

A smirk formed on your lips. "Hmm, I wonder what I can do to fix that?"

"I'm not sure, but I know you can figure it out," she smirked, languidly rubbing soap into her skin.

"Fine," you stripped your clothes and placed them into a pile on the floor.

"You're gorgeous, you know that?" Jill's sleepy eyes admired everything about your figure.

Your cheeks heated as you stepped into the steaming hot bath. You sat behind Jill, with her placed between your legs.

You let out a long sigh as you adjusted to the water temperature, wrapping your arms around her.

Jill took your hand in hers and placed tiny kisses along your knuckles. "I'm tired, so unbelievably tired," she exhaled, leaning back into your chest.

"I wish I could make things better for you." you sighed as you stroked your fingers through her short brown hair.

Jill paused momentarily, swallowing as she found the words, "You already make things better for me. You make life better. You're everything to me."

You couldn't help but feel like it wasn't true. But why would she lie? She makes your life infinitely better, but for a reason you couldn't place, you felt like you weren't that person for her.

Perhaps you felt like her sense of duty outweighed her love for you, Or maybe you couldn't fully understand her trauma.

Your heart skipped, and the only thing you could manage was, "Really?"

"Don't act so surprised; at this point, you're the only thing keeping me sane. You get me through the literal gates of hell."

You laughed genuinely, and your cheeks flushed with warmth.

"See like your laugh, God, how I love your laugh. It reminds me of Summer if that makes any sense."

You laughed again, and a little pit in your belly swelled with warmth. "And you remind me of rain. Your voice is so calm and pretty. It's like water droplets on our window."

"You're quite the poet, I take it," Jill smirked and rolled around so her stomach pressed to yours.

"Only for you." you grinned, tucking a damp strand of hair behind Jill's ear. This angle provided you with an absolutely superb view of her eyes. Although heavy and tired, they radiated love-- love swirled by endless bounds of dark blue ocean. You couldn't resist her any longer and pulled her into a soft, intimate kiss.

Your pouty lips refrained from deepening the kiss too far. The tip of your tongue grazed against hers like a gentle dance. She tasted dizzyingly sweet. Jill gracefully rolled your lip between her teeth, biting and then sucking softly.

"My pretty girl," you mumbled into the kiss, drunk off her taste.

She ran her hand up your chest, your neck, and settled on your cheek, her thumb stroking your jaw with the lightest touch.

Jill pulled away and rested in your embrace, head on your chest, eyes closed. "I'm so happy to be home," she sighed.

You hugged her tight into your chest. "I'm happy you're home, my love."

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Something darker than you'll ever know lingers behind Jill’s blue eyes. A darkness that she holds securely within herself. But, the sun does rise, and for Jill, you're her sun. The one person who can love her, scars and all.

#jill valentine x reader #jill valentine fluff #jill valentine x gn!reader #jill valentine #jill valentine x you #resident evil #resident evil fanfic #academy fics✨#jill valentine oneshot

236 notes · View notes

bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year ago

Text

Pretty like the wind

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n Part four! I know I said no stories till the end of the week but my class got delayed and I dreamed of this so... here we are. This is a bit of a roller coaster.

warning: nightmares, injuries, past trauma, mean people.

Not proofread just yet

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Azriel was walking through the forest. Thick snow heavy on his boots. Yet the sound of it was soothing. Azriel always loved winter. There was just something so beautiful about it. Or maybe it was the cold that spoke to him. But then it only showed that something so lethal could also be beautiful. Delicate. And that in itself gave the spymaster hope that he too wasn't a lost cause. If someone managed to love winter as much as he did, they would learn to love him as well.

"Boo", the sound made Azriel flinch slightly. He was too lost in his own mind to notice that he was indeed no longer alone. Axel stood in front of him, a cheeky grin on his face. The spymaster pressed a hand to his chest dramatically and said, "Nearly gave me a heart attack". The boy fell into fits of laughter, too distracted to notice Azriel reaching for him before he playfully pulled the boy into his arms.

"Don't get the mittens wet, you two", your voice broke through the laughter. Gentle and soft. Guiding. Azriel looked up. Here in the middle of a forest clearing, you looked like an actual angel. He imagined that was what men in war called for. That's what an angel of mercy looked like. Had to... A snowball hit Azriel right in the chest. The little mischievous youngling was already racing through the piles of snow. His little feat of little help. The broken wings barely managed to lift his body, even a tiny bit.

Azriel chased after him. The silent forest was beating with screeches. "I want to join! I want to join!", Zofie's voice rang out too. She was nestled in your arms. All bundled up in knitted layers. Her tiny button nose was already rosy. She was too tinny for the snow. The storm must have been wild last night. It was more than clear that she would submerge in the white blanket, at least up to her armpits. Azriel quickly snatched Axel off his feet, pulling him up with one hand. There was no doubt that his tummy would be hurting from this extensive laughter.

"Want to sit on my shoulder?", Azriel suggested, his attention now fully occupied by the little girl. Her curious eyes gleamed. "You can tell me if the river over there is frozen over. I can't see myself", that was a white lie. Azriel knew it was. His shadows had scanned the place. But he wanted to make her feel special, so he wasn't all that surprised when she scrambled to get out of your hands and onto Azriel's broad shoulder. She felt like a little feather in his arms.

"It's frozen", Zofie muttered. "I want to look as well", Axel scrambled for Azriel's side, pulling up. "Kids, Azriel is not a climbing tree", yet your voice didn't seem to reach them. You stepped closer to them, your foot sliding down the rock that must have been under you. Azriel was quick to steady your step. "Careful, love", he muttered under his breath. You smiled lovingly at him right as you reached the very edge of the river.

Azriel stepped first. Testing the ice before he reached out a hand for the kids. The two of them were way too occupied as they held onto one another, giggling, their feet slippery beneath them. Azriel held both of your hands as you steadied yourself. Big smile on your face as you opened to say something, but all that came out of your mouth was blood, your body lunging forward as an aero pierced your heart. Azriel caught your body right as the white material of your dress pooled with your blood, turning crimson. "No", was all he managed to mutter. "Y/N, hey... hey, love", his vision grew blurry. Your big eyes staring at him.

Thudding filled his ears. Then came the sound of crackling. Chipping ice hitting the snow. Azriel's head leaped sideways. He caught a glimpse of the two kids' fists hitting the ice. "No", he shouted. Your body slipped out of his arms as he scrambled to get up. Only to lock eyes with them as the ice gave in beneath them, and both of their bodies sank into the icy river. Azriel let out a deadly roar as he hurdled toward the crack, dipping himself into the water.

"No", the spymaster shot up with a jolt, his body covered in sweat, hair sticking to his face. For the first time, he hated the darkness that surrounded him. With one swift movement, Azriel jumped out of bed. His heart was beating so fast that he was sure he was going to puke all over himself. "They're fine", he muttered to himself, "It's fine". Yet his feet were already moving. His body carried on its own as he vaulted through the stairs. Fist pounding on the door while Azriel leaned against the doorframe.

He nearly fell to his knees when your smaller body appeared. Messy hair - clear evidence that you have been in a deep sleep. "Azriel", you mumbled as you scanned the male in front of you. His heavy breathing was so loud that you barely heard yourself. "Are you okay?", the spymaster whispered, his eyes looking all over you. So mortified. Shaking. "Well, besides the fact that you just woke me...", you tried to lighten the mood, but it seemed like his mind was moving a step forward. Azriel peered over your shoulder and asked, "Axel and Zofie?". You stepped aside to give him a clearer view of what was behind you. The room was dim, but the fireplace cast enough light to see the two kids nestled in between the sheets. "They're...", you started, but cut yourself off quickly. "Is everything okay?", you reframed your words.

That seemed to snap something within Azriel. He ran a hand through his damp hair and said with a deep breath, "Yeah, sorry, sorry, I...", he shook his head, almost in disbelief, that he had even come all the way here. As if his mind had only grasped onto reality just now. "Hey...", you moved to reach for his palm. Your hand was much smaller than his, but they fit snuggly against one another. Azriel just looked at you. Soaking in your soft gaze, the feeling of your skin. Your hand was indeed warm. And soft. Those two things alone seemed to settle him. You let him take a couple of calmer inhales before stepping out of the room. "Come", you beckoned him.

He just watched you move around the kitchen. The silky nightgown flowed with every move. Light goosebumps on your skin. The lower levels seemed to get colder at night. Azriel was still burning up from his nightmare, so he didn't seem to feel the chill, but you did, and a part of Azriel felt guilty that he had nothing to offer. He was... shirtless. That made his cheeks heat even more. His muscles flexed, but he tried to calm himself down. Azriel didn't want to gawk. He wasn't that kind of man, but the silk, your body beneath it... And all you were doing was making a cup of tea for him. He shifted in his seat. Eyes burning holes in your back. You felt his gaze too, grateful that your back was turned to him. You caught the strap of your nightgown slipping off your shoulder as you reached for the honey, cursing silently before turning back to the spymaster. Eyes meeting his in an instant.

"Drink", you handed him the cup, his fingerprints brushing over yours. "Poison?", he asked, your lips curving upwards, "The strongest kind". Azriel held your gaze firmly before he slowly nodded his head, "Hum, you licked the spoon, though". You crooked your head with a sigh, "Well, shit, huh. Guess we both are doomed now". Azriel let out a chuckle that matched yours before his eyes settled back on you. You were right beside him. Even with him sitting down, you still had to tilt your head up slightly.

"What?", you asked after a light smirk curled his lips. "Why are you looking at me like that?", you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. "You cursed", his words took you by surprise before you snorted slightly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. "I'm not an angel", you cackled quietly. But Azriel didn't find it funny. You look like one, he thought. But he couldn't bring himself to say that.

"Sorry, yeah, an assassin,", he said in a serious voice, narrowing his eyes. You bit your lip, trying not to laugh as well. "You can be funny, you know", you told him, Azriel's eyes grew big. "Is that a compliment?", he said in a teasing manner. "Hmmm", you tapped your finger on your chin a couple of times, "No, an observation". Azriel took a sip of the tea before looking back at you. "Keeping tabs on me?", and you could swear his voice sounded deeper, even more velvety than before. Something shivered deep within you. "Most definitely", you said firmly.

Your eyes locked once again. Only now did you realize how close you'd been standing. You could feel the heat of his body radiating. You bit your lip without thinking, and Azriel let out a low growl. Darkness flowed through his eyes. His magic rippled beneath his skin. Your hand reached for him. Your fingers glowed slightly as you brushed them over his chest. It felt like there was no oxygen in the room for a moment. But you equally felt as if you were floating. Azriel leaned closer. You could feel his breath against your skin. Yet another shiver ran down you. You were inches away. There was so little space between you. You sucked in a breath. Something creaked in the distance, making you both jump apart. You quickly tucked your hair behind your ears. Azriel let out a cough. "It's getting late", "The kids upstairs", you both said at the same time, nodding. Eyes everywhere, but on each other.

You brushed a hand over your face before plastering a big smile for Zofie, who was nervously twisting the side of her skirt between her fingers. You knew that the moment the music filled the room, she would loosen up and grow into her body, but now she was fighting her fear of being around others. Past terrors eating at her. "Hey", the feeling of a warm palm on your shoulder made you turn to the side. Your cheeks instantly grew crimson as you saw Azriel standing there. His hair was messy, and from the bags under his eyes, you were almost sure that he too got little sleep last night. You couldn't help but wonder if the same thing kept him up for the rest of the night. You didn't say anything; you just scooted to the side to give him more space. His eyes instantly moved to look for Zofie; that alone made your heart swell. Azriel waved her way, and she instantly dropped her head, her long hair covering her face, but you could see a little smile on her face from where you sat. "She's been asking about you", you said softly, pulling Azriel's attention back to you. "Has she?", the tinge of hope in his voice was evident. You hummed, "That cookie was surely made with love." Azriel stayed quiet, but you knew that your words hit the spot.

You two watched Zofie in silence, besides a laugh here and there when she lost herself in the sound of music just a bit too much. Her wild hair, accompanied by a bright pink too-too, made her quite a character. Azriel went back and forth between watching Zofie and you. His hand inched closer to yours. Your gaze caught the subtle action. "About last night...", Azriel said quietly. You were about to turn to him when the voice from another direction caught your full attention instead. "Y/N," it was Padme. The look on her face made all the blood drain from her body. You stood up quickly, "What is it?". She rarely got down to the communal levels; work kept her in the upper tower. So the fact that she was here had to mean that something bad must have happened. And all she said was one word, but that was enough to make you sway. "Axel", she muttered. You felt a hand steady you from the back. The world blurred for a moment, and then you took off running.

The healer level was laced with a thick smell of herbs and brews. That didn't help the dizziness that pulled at you. You must have looked like a mad woman, the way you barged in. Your eyes were wild as you scanned the healing pods. "What happened", you breathed out. Trying. Hoping that someone would give you the answer. Any answer. But no one said anything. Did you even speak the words aloud? You took a deep breath. "What happened?", you asked firmly.

One of the healers waves you over from across the room; the door to the last pod was open, and you assumed that was where Axel was. "He tried to fly over the wall", the female said once you were close enough to her. "Axel", you nearly shrieked at the image of that. He couldn't. There was no way. His wings were too weak. "He made it to the second floor", she continued, but you raised your palm, silencing the healer. You could imagine the rest yourself.

You pushed past her, slipping into the room. Axel was covered in bruises. The deformed wings were all scratched up, lying on his side loosely. Bile rose in your throat. You swayed slightly, only to be met with a strong wall of muscle behind you. "We cleaned up the bruises in the front but not the wings,", the healer said quietly. You knew their help was minimal when it came to that. In this case, at least. "I've got this, thank you", you said as professionally as you could, your nails digging into the warm muscular arms that were the reason why you still stood on your own two feet. "I'll call you over if I need help", the healer nodded her head, stepping away.

You inched closer to the bed. "I'll turn you on your stomach, okay?", you asked Axel softly. He barely showed any emotion, silent tears streaming down his face. You knew he endured worse pain. The night you dragged him out of that cellar... Your hands trembled at the cries that echoed.

"Let me", Azriel stepped up, reaching for Axel. You knew he was here. That he was with you. You felt Azriel right beside you up here, but it felt as if your brain had only caught up to the fact that it was his warmth that comforted you all this time. Now that he was away from you, the cold that nipped at your skin seemed almost unbearable.

Axel's face changed once he saw Azriel. A hiccup slipped past his lips, and you had to turn your head to the side to hide the tears that fell down your cheeks. "Hey, I've got you", Azriel muttered, both of his hands gripping Axel's as he kneeled at the top of a bed the boy was resting on. "I'm sorry, I'm...", Axel crocked out, trying to move his bruised body. "Why did you do it, bud?", Azriel might not understand and know most of the things yet but to make a flight like that... No youngling could do that; their bodies simply lacked strength. Another choked-out sob slipped past Axel's lips before he spoke up again, "They were making fun. Said I was... I was deformed", those words ripped out a chunk of Azriel's soul. In flashes, Azriel saw himself within the boy. He was eager to show that his will wasn't broken and that he had the spark within to be just like the others.

Azriel opened his mouth, but you quickly cut him off. "Let's look over your wings, okay? We'll figure out the rest later", you muttered, brushing away Axel's damp hair. You met Azriel's eyes briefly before all of his attention was back on the boy, who held onto him for dear life. You plunged deep within yourself. Searching for that familiar thread of light. You let our palms drown in the white light, coating the beaten wings and forming a cast over the mangled boning. Axel winced. "You're doing better than most soldiers in a war camp, bud", Azriel was quick to reassure him. His cold shadows brushed over Axel's forehead and neck, trying to keep the fever at bay and hold the boy conscious for as long as possible. "It hurts", he wept through gritted teeth. "Y/N will make it better", Azriel muttered, his eyes drifting to your hands, which by now had both of the scattered wing tissue glowings. Your body was shivering; it was no doubt taking a toll on your body too. Azriel was quick to calculate the leap he would have to make if you were to pass out. Keeping some of his shadows alert so they would notice the change in your breathing. "Hang in there, okay? This will be over soon," those were the last words Azriel told Axel before the boy limped completely. The tiny hands that held onto his palm so firmly fell loose. But Azriel didn't let go. He was not going to leave him. Wasn't going to let him feel alone and helpless ever again. He felt like he owed it to Axel and to the young version of himself too.

The candles were burning low. Azriel had lost count of how many times he had replaced them by now. He had bumped into Padme. The female didn't fully introduce herself, but Azriel had a feeling that she was an important figure here. She had wanted to talk to you, but you were barely a shell of a living creature by then, and something within Azriel protested against letting anyone else talk to you. Not now. So Padme talked to him. Gave him an image of what had happened.

The flying lesson the Illyrian children had. The fact that Axel watched it from the sidelines. Unfit to fly until the healing process had finished. "Kids can be vicious", she said with a voice so ancient that Azriel's bones shrieked, "But our Axel is different". Those words left a bitter taste in Azriel's mouth. "He's special, not flawed", the spymaster said roughly, and the woman sent him a pleased look. As if he had passed a test he didn't even know he was having. The rest of that conversation was hazy. Azriel was running on too much adrenaline himself.

He carefully opened the door to the healing pod. He did not want to wake any of you up, especially if you had finally fallen asleep. But you were just in the spot where Azriel had left you last. Axel's head was on your lap, your fingers slowly brushing through the boy's hair. Your eyes were empty as you looked down at him. "I brought some food", Azriel whispered, making you snap your head up. You were drained. He might not know much about the magic you possessed, but whatever you had done had taken its toll on you. "He just dozed off", you muttered quietly, turning your attention back on Axel. "It's for you", Azriel said, setting the tray on the little table. "I'm not hungry", you said bluntly. "Y/N", Azriel breathed out. He had seen denial and anger eating up at his soldiers. Had seen it eating up at Rhys when he had to let go of Feyre.

"I'll watch over him", you said stubbornly. "You need to rest", Azriel tried to reason, but all he was met with was a shake of your head. "I'm resting", you said, pointing at the bed you were sitting on. "Y/N", the spymaster said softly, way softer than he usually liked to use his voice. "He's in pain. I need to help," you said, Azriel looked down at the palms that you kept tucked away beneath the boy's wings. This whole time? You've been summoning magic this whole time. Worry laced Azriel's whole body.

"Y/N," he said, way more firmly this time. The way he spoke, your name had finally broken something deep within you. "If I fall asleep...", your voice died down. Bottom lip quivering. "Y/N, come here, love", Azriel pulled at your wrist, mindful of the boy resting against you, until you were up on your feet. He brought you closer. Your final undoing was the moment his arms wrapped around you.

"I'm failing them. I keep failing them", a sob slipped past your lips, your hands taking fistfuls of his shirt. "No, you are not", Azriel said firmly, "I've been here long enough to see how much you love them. And they need just that, sweetheart. They need love". You let your tears flow freely at that. All the emotions were pouring out of you. Azriel didn't budge, holding onto you just as firmly. "I'm so scared", you hiccuped finally, with no strength to keep your walls up any longer.

"I know", Azriel muttered. "I'm so scared", you pressed your face into his chest, and Azriel moved to brush his fingers through your hair, "I know, but you don't have to be. I'm here now. I'll keep watch over you all". And there was no doubt in his words. There was no doubt in your soul. You knew he wasn't lying. You could feel it. "Foreign soldier", you muttered after a while, Azriel chuckled slightly. Brushing a strand of hair away from your face, "I need to find a sword like Axel drew", he stated, making the corners of your lips turn upwards slightly. You closed your eyes, letting the world flow through you. Allowing yourself to stop for a minute while Azriel held you. Until your eyes snapped open and you pushed back slightly, "Zofie...", you muttered.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel imagine #azriel acotar x reader #azriel acotar imagine #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you

498 notes · View notes

writingoddess1125 · 1 year ago

Note

loving reading Buggy's saga with his children, but I confess that I felt sorry for his balls being crushed in the last post😭

please help our dear Buggy recover from this illness 🥹

Of course sweety! 🍭 we shall cure the Muggy Buggy Balls!

Fever pt. 1

Buggy x FemReader + Buggy Twins

Old Men Series Masterlist

Wanna buy me some cup noodles? 🍜

After what was deemed the Nutcracker Arc, Buggy had been down a bit- He had wanted to have more children with you eventually but after the doctor saw the damage from the wooden sword and apparently damage from a previous incident that Buggy still refused to tell you about- The doctor essentially said his nuts were done for.

"I wanted daughters so bad..." He groaned into the pillows, still in his pouting faze as you sat next to him rubbing his back. It had been 2 weeks since Dee had taken the wooden sword to poor Buggys balls.

"I know honey.." You say softly, trying to comfort the man. Truthfully you had seen the damage and had a fairly confident feeling he was done with any baby making- Buggy was knife proof but not blunt force trauma.

"Hey it won't be that bad Buggy, You have two beautiful sons who will carry your legacy and besides we are heading to the island for the rest of our '60 day' vacation" You say softly, at this point the 60 days were no better then a joke- it had already been well over a month on the ship and with Buggy, you two just used the '60 days' as a way to tease one another over how silly it was. And an excuse for a vacation.

Buggy looked up st you, his makeup smeared on his face and he sighed in defeat. Nodding in agreement at this point.

"Yeah Yeah- Two destructive boys with devil fruit powers on an island unsupervised, What can do wrong" He said as he leaned his head against you his arm wrapping around your waist.

"Why would they be unsupervised?" You question with a raised brow, Buggy looking at you with a crooked grin.

"Well we will be busy of course" He says in a flirtatious manner- You playfully shoving his face away while blushing making both of you laugh.

"Land Ho!" A loud voice sounded through the ship, Snapping both of you from your thoughts as you your giggles.

Buggy getting up and offering a hand to you with a smile.

"Ready?" He asked, you could t help but feel your heart flutter at this. Grabbing his gloved hand and nodding, heading upstairs you saw the coming shores of land.

"Look!" Dee yelled from the crows nest, that being were he preferred to stay it seemed- Bee jumping around on deck like the hyperactive child he was.

There was a lush island that was filled with beautiful forest and a small village nestled there. It didn't take long for you all to dock at the island- Buggy happily escorting you and the boys through it.

The island he had picked was absolutely lovely, it was like a strip of paradise tucked nearly in the corner of the East Blue, a small village on the north side of the island and on the southern side was were Buggy had claimed for himself. It seemed Buggy was well Acquainted with the place as well since the locals were familiar with the crew and held no real fear of Buggy either.

"Wow! It's so big!-" Bee cheered loudly at seeing the Island, Dee nodding in agreement as they looked at the village.

"Hehe that's what your mo-" "Medium" You deadpanned, immediately taking the wind from Buggy's sails as he pouted at you taking his joke away.

"Here" Buggy said reaching in his pockets, handing the twins some change and telling them to explore the island and giving them the key to the Inn room they were in.

"This island is you're to explore, Just don't be stupid and go into the water" He said with a grin, the Twins smiling in delight at this before rushing off with their new found freedom.

"Buggy are you sure?-" You question as you watched them run away cackling like little demons.

"This place is totally safe- Besides I'm sure they are just gonna raid the candy shop anyway" You couldn't disagree with his decision and nodded.

Buggy excitedly lead you to the inn you all would be staying in while the details to the cabin was set in. It was a small tradional inn and had a hot spring attached, truthfully you thought it was quite adorable but beautiful non the less. Taking a seat on the massive futon bed you smiled at your Partner.

"I gotta admit, you did a really good job Buggy" You say earning a wide smile from the Clown Pirate.

Buggy was clearly proud of his choices, the praises from you and boys definitely fanning his ego. Especially since you didn't disagree with him that this was a terrific spot or that the inn was quite beautiful.

"I'm going to check how long till the cabin is complete-" He said with a grin kissing your lips before leaving.

The boys were out exploring the island, Buggy was checking on the cabin. You had the room to yourself? Oh how the stars aligned- jumping up you quickly grab a bottle of wine and open the back sliding door to see the amazing hot spring in the back. This was heaven-

Buggy returned after an hour, having picked up some dinner for the two of you to try and have a date night in- He knew he was still new to the whole romance thing but he was trying, aka using books to figure out.

"Hey (Y/N) yhe Cabin will be completed in a few days" Buggy said calmly, walking into the room expected you there- But was met with silence, raising a brow he walked in the room fully and opened the back sliding door that lead to the private hotspring.

That's when his world froze- There you were standing in the hotspring, it looks like you were grabbing a cool rag for yourself and just bend in the perfect angle to see everything.

You turned quickly hearing the noise of the door opening and saw Buggy there with his eyes as wide as saucers and clearly very pleased to see you. Not even having to say anything you turn and face him fully.

When the house was finished you and your small family all moved in. Buggy talking about this would be a safe house for you and kids anytime after the '60 days' or if you wished to just move here and he would return regularly.

Blushing as you stood in the hot water, Buggy catching the look in your eyes starting to strip and sliding into the water after you. His eyes never leaving yours as he closed the space between you two in moments- his hands wrapping around your waist quickly as you two smiled at each other.

It seemed Buggy was right, you and him would be busy.

Truthfully it was pure domestic bliss.

And it was this way- For a little over a month till one morning. You woke up and everything just seemed terrible, The bed made your back hurt, the lights were too bright, the twins already up and too loud.

You heard Buggy trying to talk to you excitedly but his voice was muffled and difficult to understand. Truthfully you didn't even remember making it to the kitchen and making yourself a cup of tea-

It was like you blinked and you were there, the boys chattering loudly as Buggy tried to get them to sit the fuck down as well as telling you something you didn't understand. You felt a hand finally touch your head, seeing Buggy in a different shirt and the twins gone... how long had you dozed off for?

"You look flushed-" Buggy muttered, his eyebrows crunching up as he got way too close to your face. You didn't know why but his face seemed to irritate you, or was it the smell of the apple shampoo? Or possibly-

"BLECH!" You vomited, right on the front of Buggys shirt.

Buggy's face turned red, like he was going to yell but held back and took a breath. See how you had been out of it most of the morning and fairly unresponsive despite him asking repeatedly if you were okay.

"Let's get you to the doctors.."

He said finally, Sighing as he peeled off the shirt and helping you up.

It was a short trip to the doctor in the village, Buggy being too loud in demanding you be seen right away- You wanted to choke him..

In a few minutes the doctor arrived and gave you a routine check-up, You sitting their while Buggy talked some more about random stuff as the Doctor stood back with a surprised smile on his face.

"I see what's going on-" The doctor said with a smile, both you and Buggy staring at the doctor as he set his tools to the side.

"Congratulations! You're pregnant" He said with a joyous voice- you and Buggy freezing at this.

"W-What but- I thought I was done for!?" Buggy said first as he pointed to his pants- The doctor shrugging at this.

"Well it sees you still gad a chance, but a chance non the less- If you keep trying eventually something can take root" The doctor admitted calmly. You sitting thinking back to different moments in your life... mainly your labor with the twins... 36 hours for both.. the diapers and all that 'fun'.

"How far?.." You manage out, still feeling shell shocked at this news.

"Hm I'd say 5 weeks along give or take?-" the doctor said calmly as he tapped his chin.

You both looked at each other, the thoughts swirling in your guys head as it clicked. 5 weeks is when you guys arrived at the island and..

"The Inn Hotspring-"

You guys said in unison. Buggy staring at you in total shock like the puzzle peices were still formulating in his brain- before he broke out in a wide smile, started loudly cheering and jumping.

"YOURE PREGNANT HAHAHA!"

You sitting there in shock as your partner jumped around the room... did 60 days just turn into 9 dog damn months?

#x reader #one peice x reader #one piece #one peice live action #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader

557 notes · View notes

chaoticace2005 · 9 months ago

Text

Why Hazbin characters are the animal they are:

(Because of that conversation I just had with @xxqueenofdragonsxx )

Angel (spider)

1. His family’s “web of crime”

2. A spider was the last thing he was before he died.

3. He had a weirdly heartfelt moment with a spider as a child that stayed with him to adulthood.

4. He was terrified of spiders and this was his first punishment in hell.

5. He insulted spiders by calling them “creepy fuckers”— the spider community was insulted and sought punishment.

6. He and his family’s last name was “Ragno” which literally means “spider” in Italian.

7. He’s Spider-Man. Or Spider-Gwen at least— look at his colors.

Husk (cat)

1. Fucking hated cats when he was alive

2. Hates flying when he was alive.

3. Flew in a plane in the military at some point so has flight-related trauma.

4. Cause he does that cat thing where they can’t deal with people’s bullshit.

5. Ex had a cat, their relationship was complicated.

6. Husk really hates messes. Having both feathers and fur is the ultimate torture.

7. He died tripping on a cat and then being impaled by the beak of a dead bird.

8. Died falling. Period. Cats land on their feet and birds can fly so it’s some kind of irony.

Alastor (deer)

1. He was killed because someone thought he was a deer in the forest.

2. The deer in headlights look he always makes when someone propositions him sexually

3. He was the predator chasing the prey, now his creature is the prey.

4. First thing he ever killed was a buck.

5. He really likes venison and is a cannibal. Now he has a steady supply of food. He just needs to wait to regenerate.

6. His favorite thing to say was “oh dear” so the universe made it into a pun.

7. He wasn’t shot by a person. He was shot by a serial killer deer.

Sir Pentious (snake)

1. He was a slippery little fella.

2. Was obsessed and had a ton of pet snakes.

3. Alternatively he was terrified of snakes.

4. The last person he called a “friend” called him a snake before leaving him forever.

5. Snakes are supposed to be symbols of healing, which was ironic because he couldn’t save the one person he loved most.

6. He had a lisp and was frequently harassed for sounding “snake-like” (yay ableism)

7. His name really was Sir Pentious when alive and the universe couldn’t not let the opportunity go to waste.

Valentino (moth)

1. He used to zap and kill moths for fun, putting them in peoples beds because nobody likes a moth in your bed.

2. He publicly ran a campaign saying butterflies > moths, the moths didn’t like that.

3. He was killed when a stage light “accidentally” fell on him.

4. Like a moth, he is easily distracted by bright things.

5. Choked on mothballs and died.

6. Sold powder of crushed up moths under the guise that it was cocaine. Someone found out a killed him in anger.

7. Was killed running into traffic as he was being chased by a moth.

Vox (TV)

1. Was a TV host

2. Sold crappy, overpriced TVs

3. Killed someone by smashing their head in with a TV.

4. HE was killed by his head getting smashed in by a TV.

5. His form isn’t really a TV, but he was decapitated and needed a replacement head and this was the first thing he could find.

6. Stared at screens way too long as a child.

7. Was epileptic so the universe thought it would be funny if he could use his face to induce seizures in others (the universe has a messed up sense of humor man. How about we don’t cause people to have seizures?)

#some more dumb ways to die #tw: lots of death #hazbin hotel #I had a little too much fun with this #hazbin hotel memes #stupid hazbin hotel lists #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #husk #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #sir pentious #hazbin valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel crack

318 notes · View notes

awakenedsalamander · 11 months ago

Text

This is gonna be a long walk. But I’ll get there. I promise.

In a lot of Chronicles of Darkness games, there are “minor templates” for players to take for their characters. These are basically lesser types of supernatural beings— undeniably marked by magic, but not transformed by it like the main templates are. So instead of being a werewolf, you might be a Wolf-Blooded, i.e., not the monster your stronger cousins are, but still recognizably having a connection to that world.

Again, a bunch of games have these. Mage has Sleepwalkers (and Proximi), Vampire has ghouls, Geist has the Absent, Demon has stigmatics, etc.

In Changeling: The Lost, there are the Fae-Touched. We’ll get to them in a bit. First, more on Lost.

In Lost, like many stories about faeries, oaths and vows are very important. They are, in the form of magical Contracts, the source of many fae powers. Changeling have a neat ability to make any spoken promise binding, invoking the force of the Wyrd to force even minor vows to be taken seriously. And many changelings are taken by the True Fae by getting ensnared in some kind of oath.

See, if you didn’t know, Changeling: The Lost is about humans taken to the home of the True Fae, and then transformed into changelings as the True Fae torment them. The game is very much about the way trauma changes a person, and how even recovering from trauma still doesn’t bring you back to the way you were— you’re healed, but you’re not the same.

And much like trauma changes a person, it isolates them too. Lost represents this in the fiction with fetches— the faerie-forged simulacra left behind in the stolen person’s wake, acting the roles of parent, sibling, friend, and so on while the original person is actually suffering with no escape.

But the Fae-Touched won’t stand for that.

Because while Changeling: The Lost recognizes that many promises aren’t serious, that when people swear, “I’ll always be there for you,” they don’t always live up to that, it also recognizes that some promises are different.

The Fae-Touched are the mortals who remember the words they swore, and will not ignore them. They can tell, in their dreams, through the nagging impulses they get in their waking moments, that the person they promised to help needs them now more than ever. They are lead by the Wyrd into the land of faerie to live up to that promise, and they follow it gladly.

A Fae-Touched is the father who knows the smiling fetch who claims to be his daughter isn’t the real thing, and that somewhere the girl he swore to protect is in mortal danger— and so he delves into a world of dreams and nightmares to bring her back.

A Fae-Touched is the woman who fights off briar wolves in a mad, twisting forest so she can find her wife, because when she said “I will never abandon you,” she meant it.

A Fae-Touched is the young man staring down a Lord of the True Fae and refusing to yield. He and his brother went through hell together years ago when their parents died, and they promised one another then that they’d always stand by each other, and some monster in a crown can’t change that.

Not every changeling is helped by a Fae-Touched, and not all of the Fae-Touched succeed. Sometimes you have to claw your own way back home. But God, what a beautiful concept.

I know that Changeling: The Lost is very dark, and the reason I love the Fae-Touched isn’t really because they’re the light to that darkness— I think that simplifies it too much.

I like the Fae-Touched not because they take away the darkness, but because they remind me we don’t always have to face the darkness alone.

Sometimes, when you think there’s no point going on, when you think it will just be the pain and the fear again and again and again… it’s not true. Because sometimes, maybe even more often than we think, there’s someone out there who knows you need help. And they ready themselves, they set out into the darkness, saying only,

“This is gonna be a long walk. But I’ll get there. I promise.”

#chronicles of darkness #cofd #changeling the lost #ctl #fae-touched #way too long maybe?#I don’t care

284 notes · View notes

readychilledwine · 1 year ago

Text

Slow Hands

Part Two

A/N - Here's the first post for my "Here's to 100" Celebration week. 💙 I'm starting off with something I've received a few requests and messages about.

Warnings - mentions of abuse/trauma, mentions of child abuse, mentions of scars. Smut smut smut. Anal play, pet/master dom and sub dynamic play. Fingering, oral (m recving)/throat fucking. Minors DNI.

Part One

Lyria leaned closer into her mirror, examining the peachy nude lipstick she was wearing one more time before standing up straight and fixing part of her hair.

She was putting so much effort into her looks for a male. Something her brothers would frown upon since they normally praised her natural beauty. She had curled and braided her hair in places before pulling into a messy yet almost flirty, high ponytail. She had done her makeup. She put on expensive perfume.

She was even wearing a dress, something she had not done since being freed from the mountain. She brushed her hands along the baby blue fabric one more time before moving to look herself over in the full length mirror. The dress was one Rhysand had actually bought for her when he first brought her here. He loved the way the color sat on her golden skin tone, how it brought out the red in her hair. He had told her to save the little number for her first date in his court.

She didn't think he had planned on that date being with his brother. She pulled on her heels and put on the earrings she had picked for the night. A soft knock on her door made her heart beat pick up as she made her way over.

She opened the door, allowing Azriel in. "Hey, you're early." He was silent, staring at her with his mouth slightly parted. "Do I look okay? Rhys told me you had picked somewhere really nice, I can change." He grabbed her arm as she moved to go back to her room.

"You look stunning. I just didn't expect," he studied her again. The way the dress hugged her upper body, cinching at her small waist, before flaring out slightly and ending above her knees. Her long legs highlighted by the heels she was wearing. "Gods, you're beautiful."

She smiled softly at him. "You aren't so bad looking yourself." He was dressed in tighter black trousers, a black button up shirt. He had on several rings and a watch. "Let me grab my purse and we can go."

"You don't need your purse." He offered her his arm. "Let's just go get dinner."

—----------

The restaurant Azriel brought her to was an Inner Circle favorite by the Sindra. Faelights and candles adorned the patio they had opted to sit on to enjoy the beautiful summer evening.

He found himself falling into easy conversation with her. They had spoken about his upbringing, how they met Rhys, about how she got into healing.

There was a couple tense topics Azriel wanted to approach with the Heiress, like the topic of her older brothers, of her fathers, of why Rhysand had brought her here and hid her from all of them until now, but he danced around them waiting for her to make an opening. He was tired of waiting though, and needed answers before he put his plan for tonight into action.

"Do you talk to your brothers?" She looked at him a little shocked and blinked. "If you don't mind me asking." She does, a shadow whispered. Gentle.

Lyria sighed, pushing her pasta around her plate. "I speak with Eris and Lucien. I do not talk to the other males I have the unfortunate pleasure of being related to."

Azriel nodded. "What's Eris actually like? Behind that mask and bullshit self defense mechanism?"

Lyria looked at Azriel and sighed softly. "Ask me what you actually want to ask."

"What happened with Mor? Did you have part in it?"

Lyria shook her head. "I was a child when they were engaged. All I remember from that night was Eris had allowed me to ride with him on a border patrol. We found her, and he begged her to let us help. She refused. He asked if he could at least get her somewhere she'd be safer, and could be found because the Autumn forest isn't a good place for people my father deems unworthy."

Lyria sighed again. "He had me use what little knowledge I had on winnowing to get her to the clearing you found her in. He hardly slept that night. I know there were discussions between the two of them before this all happened, some hushed fighting, but Eris protected me from whatever little things he could that would lead to Beron hurting me or using me. Mor included."

Azriel nodded. Slowly processing the added information. "So he isn't lying?"

"Eris is kind, caring, funny. He would have never purposely hurt her." Lyria pushed her plate away. "And your question on Lu?"

"How much has he told you?"

Lyria shook her head again before beginning to play with her hair. "Not much honestly. He's not thrilled we are here together, but he understands I am grown enough to make my own choices."

Azriel nodded again. "Why did Rhys hide you for so long?"

She shook her head and held up her arm, a small bargain tattoo unveiling itself. "I can't tell you that. Can we go? I feel like some of this is better discussed alone."

—---------

Azriel pulled her closer to him as they sat on her couch. Talking had quickly turned into kissing, and kissing to heavy touching. Her nails were currently dragging down his bare chest, shirt long lost in some corner of her house, as he ran his own hands up her bare thighs.

Azriel lifted her, remembering he had wanted to repay a favor, and began walking her down the hallway to the room they were in last week.

It came alive the second they entered. Candles and faelights began to brighten, the sounds of nature setting in softly in the background. The soft smell of jasmine and honey hit his nose. "Why is it so… sensual smelling in here tonight?"

Lyria threw her head back with a soft moan as Azriel moved his kisses down her throat and neck. "Feyre and Rhys booked a couples massage lesson. I taught them little tips and tricks based in pleasure massage, they had champagne and chocolates, went home to try to make baby number two." Az chuckled softly against her throat. "Don't laugh. Couples in Velaris go crazy for my date night packages!"

Azriel kissed her deeply again, beginning to unlace the dress she was wearing. "And when is the last time someone took care of your body, Lyria?"

She knew it was a coded question. He was asking her two things. "It's been a while." She confessed.

"Let me take care of you, little fox. Get undressed. Lay on the table on your stomach." He kissed her gently before leaving the room to give her privacy to undress.

Lyria heated the table and blanket, sighing happily as she allowed the dress to fall and hung it. She got on the table, giggling as a shadow caressed her hair before covering her with a towel and Azriel entered.

Her approached her slowly, hand gently running her upper thigh to her ankle as he began to hold back anticipation over her newly exposed skin. He ran his hand softly back up the other leg, admiring every freckle on her shoulders before pausing to look at the scarring on her back.

She had been beaten with something, he ran a hand down one, the familiar sensation of a burn scar under his finger tips. Something that was on fire. "Who did this to you?"

Lyria sighed, turning to look at him with a brow raised. "Beron. His favorite method to put me in line with was a 9 tail whip. He liked how thin the scars were. If I was being extra defiant, he'd light the whip on fire after force feeding me faebane." She felt Azriel's grip on the table, his knuckles had turned white. Lyria pulled one of his hands to her head, laying it back down, "Start with the scalp and work down."

Azriel took a few stilling breaths, his hand instantly beginning to scratch and pull at her hair gently from the base. She let out a soft nose that brought him back to her, back to this moment. He didn't speak as he began to try to take care of her. He watched as she shivered slightly as he gripped the hair at the base of her neck. "You are beautiful," he whispered to her. "So beautiful."

Lyria moaned as his hands moved down to her neck and shoulders. He watched her shiver again, signaling to him he had found the right amount of pressure. He worked the tension out slowly before moving lower.

Lyria sighed softly as Azriel's hands ran along her back. He was being so gentle with her even if it was clear he didn't exactly know what he was doing.

She moaned as he applied more pressure to a tighter area, causing the male to grin with satisfaction. "Like that, little fox?"

"Just like that," her voice had become breathy, eyes fluttering shut. He was doing the best he could to remember her motions from the week before, copying them as closely as possible.

Azriel was almost desperate to see her fall apart the way he had. He was desperate to repay that favor. He allowed his shadows to begin exploring. Watching as they played in her hair, down her back, over the perfect ass he'd been dreaming about.

His goal was set as she moaned as he moved to another tight area. Lyria was going to cum for him tonight, and he honestly did not care how.

His methods became more focused, he began softer touches, watching as goosebumps danced across her skin. His shadows had begun to play in her hair. She was catching on to what was happening. "Whatcha doin', Az?" Her tone was playful as she lifted herself to peek over her shoulder at the blushing male.

Azriel smirked at her, a scarred hand going under the towel to touch the bare skin of her ass and squeezing it. "Repaying a favor." He started to use methods he knew worked. He began kissing her back and neck, whispering into her ear. "Do you want me to touch you, Lyria?"

"Cauldron boil me," she moaned softly as he bit her shoulder. He smirked as she arched her back slightly into him. He could smell her. The scent of their arousal mixing in the air as he moved his hand lower and closer to her core. A soft whimper left her throat. "Please."

"Please what, princess?"

"Touch me."

Azriel wasted no time, running his fingers on her already soaked core before pushing two into her. He used his other hand to tangle into her soft hair, pulling it to force her back to arch more. "Such a pretty little thing." She moaned loudly as his finger stretched her open.

"Azriel," her voice had gone completely breathy at this point. "Feels so good."

He smirked. "Just wait, princess. Your pretty cunt will feel so good wrapped around me." He pulled his fingers out of her, quickly turning her over on table and pulling her closer to the ledge. His fingers returned to her again, his thumb now joining in his assault on her by brushing against her clit. She had propped herself up on her elbows, watching as Azriel's fingers sunk in and out of her.

She was moaning his name, moaning praise, gasping softly with each delicious pull and push. "Look at me," he said. "Eyes on mine, princess." She looked into Azriel's hazel eyes. "Good girl. Such a good girl. Do you want to cum on my fingers?"

Lyria nodded, her red hair bouncing slightly at the motion. "Please."

"What do I get?" She whined as he curled his fingers into that perfect spot.

"Anything. You can have anything." Azriel hummed, and sped up his hands movements, groaning to himself as he felt her walls twitching around his fingers, tightening in excitement. Lyria was still following his orders, her beautiful eyes locked on his as her mouth fell open.

Azriel leaned forward, pushing her submission to find out exactly what he was dealing with. He grabbed her chin with his spare hand, holding her jaw open as he maintained eye contact with her, and then spit into her mouth. "Swallow." She did. "Cum, little fox." And she did. Lyria felt that coil snap in her stomach. He forced her to keep eye contact with him as she moaned out his name loudly, her toes curling. Shadows began to play along her breasts, pinching and tweaking her nipples causing more stimulation and prolonging her orgasm.

Azriel smirked as she rode his hand through her high, chest heaving. "On your knees. Take my pants off." He removed his fingers from her, pulling them to his mouth to suck them clean as he stepped back.

Lyria obeyed, getting on her knees in front of him and unlacing the tight material. She pulled them down his thighs and removed them, running her hands back up his thighs as she sat and waited. "Mouth open, hands behind your back. Tap my thigh twice if it's too much." He stroked his cock, watching as she got into position and parted her lips for him. "Gods, you are obedient, aren't you?"

"I just want to be your good girl," the soft confession almost made Azriel feel guilty as he pushed himself into her mouth, gripping the back of her head to hold her in place as the base of him.

"And you are." He began to fuck her throat slowly, watching her face as drool and tears began to form. His hands were laced tight into her hair for control as he growled above her. "Look so beautiful with my cock down your throat. Such a pretty little mess." She gagged softly around him. Play. He commanded his shadows, smirking as she moaned loudly at them beginning to trace over her clit, her nipples, dragging themselves between her folds. He picked up speed, watching as her mascara began to run, moaning as he destroyed her.

A familiar tight feeling started in his abs as his wings began to flare more. Azriel ripped her off of him and up before it could go further than he wanted and bent her over the table. "Are you on the tonic?" She nodded, unable to form words as his shadows continued their assault. "Good." Azriel lined himself up and pushed inside of her, head falling back into his shoulders as they both moaned. He grabbed both of her arms, pulling her slightly off the table and forcing her to use her abs to support herself.

He set a fast pace, filling her in a way no male ever had before. Stretching her more than any male had before. Lyria was quickly a mess, moaning his name and meeting his thrusts. "Is that the only word my beautiful little fox knows now? Have I fucked you so dumb already you can only say my name?" The drag of his cock as he teased her made her whimper and nod. "Fucking perfect. You are fucking perfect." Azriel grabbed both of her wrists in one hand. His other hand was squeezing her ass again as she laid back on the table.

"How far can I push you, Lyria? Where's the line?" Azriel began to tease her other hole. "Should we find out, princess?"

A scream of his name as he found that sensitive spot in her cunt was her only response. He could feel her wetness dripping, he could feel her tightening around his cock. He took the chance and pushed his thumb into her ass, chuckling as she moaned his name again. "Azriel, fuck! Please."

"Flithy fucking whore, aren't you?" Lyria nodded, smiling at the accusation. "Should I fuck your pretty ass next time? Gods, I'm going to fucking keep you. Can I keep you baby girl? Lock you up in my cabin in chains and just use this little body? Ill treat you like such a good little pet baby. You will be so spoiled."

Lyria was lost, pleasure building so tightly in her stomach she was going to explode soon. He felt so good inside of her and each groan and growl he released had her body fluttering in feminine pleasure. "Yes, master." Azriel groaned above her. "You can keep me."

He was smirking behind her again. He began thrusting even harder into the overly sensitive spot, growling as she got impossibly tighter around him. "Good little pet." His thumb was moving in time with his cock, he could feel it dragging, adding stimulation for both of them. Lyria was twitching around him, drooling and whispering in his name as over sensitivity set in. "Are you going to cum with my thumb in your ass, pet?"

A harsh thrust came after the question, making Lyria see stars as her toes began to curl again. "Yes, master. Can I cum? Please?"

Azriel growled again, his own orgasm right within reach. "Cum," he commanded. "Cum on my cock. I want to feel you fall apart on me."

She came with a scream of his name, Azriel roaring behind her as he also fell over the edge with that final stimulation of her walls fluttering around him. "That's it, pet. There you go." The hand holding her wrist dropped them, guiding her soft pushing against his hips to pull him further into her. "Good girl, Lyria." He pulled his other hand out of her, resting it by her waist as he ran the other up and down her back. "Took me so well, baby."

Lyria shuttered at the praise. Her eyes shut as she came down fully. "We should do this again." Azriel nodded in agreement, pulling out of her slowly and grabbing the towel on the table to clean both of them.

Lyria turned as he threw it into the hamper and froze. Azriel looked at her his brows knitted in confusion. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Then he felt it. Azriel froze as well as he stared at her. A snap happened between the both of them causing his breath to hitch and hers to still.

The string connecting them was golden and sparkling. He pulled her to him instantly, hand holding the back of her hair as he began to cry happily into her head. "You have no clue how long I've been looking for you." He kissed the top of her head, then her forehead, then each cheek and nose. He finally kissed her lips. Lyria kissed him back, just as eager and smiled as he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. "Maybe we can do this again in a couple days, but minus the sex? Just spend time together?"

She nodded at his offer, trying to ignore her growing glowing skin. "I'd like that a lot."

"Do you always glow after sex?"

He smiled as she blushed. "No. I glow when I'm happy."

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel x vanserra!oc #azriel x oc #azriel fic #readychilledwine's heresto100 celebration

618 notes · View notes

coffeeghoulie · 10 days ago

Text

our time now if you want it to be

In the safety of their nest, Aether and Dew spend what may be their last night together.

Explicit, 7k. Contains Water/Fire Hybrid!Dew, discussions/mentions of mortality, medical trauma, minor character death, discussions of elemental transition/Era III-IV transition, anal sex, lovemaking, mating rituals, and some blood.

title from The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy.

divider by @wrathofrats <3

Aether's hand covers the entirety of Dew's upper arm. He stares at where his thumb smooths over cool grey skin, silver freckles glittering like scales on his shoulder.

Besides where a little moonlight pools in through the curtains, the room is dark and quiet. Neither of them can sleep, and neither want to speak at risk of breaking the tentative peace. Let themselves pretend that the inevitability of tomorrow isn't coming.

Silver blue eyes glance up at Aether, glowing in the darkness. Gills flutter, breath cool yet shaky. "Aether, if-"

Aether squeezes his eyes shut, arms tightening around Dew's lean body as every muscle in his body tenses. "No, darling, I-"

Dew snarls, hands flying up to grab the sides of Aether's face. He forces Aether to meet his eyes, aquamarine to amethyst. It's the most painful thing Aether's felt in the last few months.

Never mind the public deposal of his Papa. Never mind the sudden disappearance of practically his entire pack. Never mind Mountain vanishing into the forest, gone for so long that Aether quietly fears he's been taken too. Never mind what he knows will come when the sun rises.

Meeting the eyes of the ghoul he loves hurts like nothing else.

"Aether, I need you to listen to me," Dew says, voice strained with the sheer effort of keeping steady and level. "Ugh. Fuck. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. If- don't you fucking dare interrupt me, Aether- if the ritual doesn't work, if I-"

His voice cracks dangerously. Dew snarls, shakes his head.

"Aether, I don't want to have any regrets if this goes poorly." His gaze burns, blue flame hot, into Aether's eyes. "I want to have been your mate. I want to be yours, by scent and scar."

Aether's eyes go wide, even as his heart drops through his stomach. The silence of their room is cut through by the sound of a heart monitor, shrill and harsh. He shakes his head to clear his mind, but he still hears Delta's wheezing groan before he can force the memory away.

"Dew, I-" Aether cuts himself off. He squeezes his eyes shut so hard it hurts.

"You don't?" Dew asks, and Aether winces at the accusatory tone. "Have the last couple years meant nothing to you?"

"No, don't you dare even think that," Aether says. He still can't open his eyes. His stomach churns. But Dew doesn't stop.

"You know I've wanted to be yours since the moment I had to help Omega haul you out of the summoning circle."

"I know," Aether says, voice pitching up strained like he's just been punched in the gut. "And I've wanted to be yours just as long."

"Then why not." It's so quiet his ears strain to pick it up, but it shatters him all the same. "Why not, Aether."

The scent of fresh meltwater and lilies and candle smoke is swamped over with sterile, harsh disinfectant. Aether almost chokes on it even though he knows his brain is providing him with another memory. He hangs his head, tries to focus on Dew's hands on his cheeks. Aether retreats a little into his mind.

"I, Dew, I don't think I could survive it," Aether admits, voice going flat. "It's selfish."

Dew's tail lashes against the sheets. They're a mix of his own bedding and Dew's. Something he'd called a hearth. "Selfish? Don't you think we deserve a little selfish right now?"

Aether grits his teeth. "No, it wouldn't be selfish to get mated," he tries to backpedal. "I mean. With tomorrow. Even if, best case scenario, we see the day after. I can't, Dew. I took care of him when he was going. I can't do it again. Especially if this time I can feel it happening."

He opens his eyes just in time to watch Dew's brow furrow in realization. "You mean what happened to Dell."

Aether winces like he's been hit. Dew's gaze bores through him. Pins him and flays him open like a particularly interesting moth to a specimen board.

"Aether," Dew says, a little harsher. Still quiet. The peace, albeit a little rickety, is still maintained. "You think that that's going to happen to me?"

His silence is as good an answer as anything.

"Look at me, Aether," Dew almost growls. He waits until Aether complies. "That's why you won't mate me?"

"From what you've told me, that's why you want to mate me," Aether says. The words taste bitter, and he regrets them the moment they're out on the air, impossible to take back.

Dew shrinks back, looks away. He's close enough that Aether can hear the way Dew's throat works when he swallows hard. His scent morphs, not quite as sweet, almost minerally, like hard water. Aether wants nothing more to pull him against his chest and never let him go, wants his scent to go back to that comforting, familiar thing. Wants it burned into his sinuses so he's never able to forget it.

But he isn't sure how his touch will be taken, so he doesn't, as much as the minute distance hurts him physically.

"Aether, I- I think I'm gonna be alright," Dew says confidently, but Aether knows him. The waver there means Dew's trying to convince himself just as much as he's trying to convince Aether. "Dell was straight water, maybe a little earth somewhere in his pod Down Below. The quint..." he trails off.

Aether swallows hard, waits for Dew to keep talking. Wants to hear his voice.

"The quint didn't take."

That sure is one way to put what happened. "The quint didn't take," Aether echoes uselessly. His mind supplies yet another memory, a ghoul in an infirmary bed, but this time, instead of Delta, it's Dewdrop laying there instead. Already lithe frame gone smaller, weaker. And instead of just watching, this time Aether can feel it pulling, aching, burning.

Dew must notice his distress, must smell the way thunderstorms shift over his own scent. But he keeps talking. "I'm not all water, you know," he says, like he's admitting a secret. But Aether knows this already, whispered confessions curled up together after some of the best sex of his life. "My dam was fire. Didn't know her, was raised with my aunt's school in the Fifth, but there is a part of me that's fire."

"I know," Aether breathes.

"The ritual should latch on to that instead of starting from scratch. I should be okay."

Aether nods, pulls Dew into his chest. "Should," He whispers.

Dew shakes his head, gives a little huff. "Aether," he tries again. "I know it's selfish. I want you to mate me. I want you to be mine, and me yours. Regardless of what happens in the morning. But, Aeth, this might be our last chance."

Something deep in the very core of Aether's chest shatters, a too old elastic band that snaps. He takes Dew's face in his hands, big enough to cover the entire sides of his head. Feels the finned ears twitch under his palms.

"Dewdrop, I cannot bear the thought of losing you," he says, pressing his forehead to Dew's and breathing him in. "It will destroy me. And even that's before a matebond. I might as well just throw myself on the pyre with you."

"Don't say that, I'm not dead yet," Dew huffs, but they both grimace after the words are said.

"But there is the chance," he presses, tries to get him to understand. Has heard stories and rumors of matepairs, Down Below, where one would go and the bond, open ended and fraying and broken, would drain the life from the other until they followed to wherever ghouls go when they're gone. Aether knows his reasoning's selfish. Wanting the barest chance of surviving whatever happens.

"You don't think I know that?" Dew asks, uncharacteristically soft. "You don't think I've spent every single moment since a fucking multighoul survived being pulled through the fire portal thinking about what's going to fucking happen to me? Infernal Majesty, Aeth, we don't even know if he's going to survive."

"I don't care about him," Aether growls. His tail lashes behind him. "He could crumble to salt and ash and be blown away for how much I care. I care about you."

Dew smiles, a little crooked thing as he nuzzles the side of his nose against Aether's. "I'm sorry," he whispers, and Aether's brow furrows, heart doing a funny thing in his chest. "I'm being real fucking selfish, asking for your bite with all of this going on."

"Dew, I promise, I want to give you my bite," Aether swears, trying to press his forehead impossibly closer to Dew's. Their horns click, seaglass against ivory. "I do. But I wanted to do it proper. The way you deserve. A proper ceremony. I know how much that means to you."

"Well," Dew shrugs, swallows hard. "Isn't time for any of that now."

"Yeah," Aether whispers. His back's to the rest of his room, Dew between him and the wall. He isn't quite sure if it's a blessing or a curse that he can't see the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock on his nightstand.

How little time they might have left.

A silence settles uneasily over them. Aether pulls Dew impossibly closer, and for once, Dew lets himself be moved without complaint. He threads fingers through the silvery hair at the nape of Dew's neck, buries his nose in the crown of his head. Breaths him in like he'd suffocate without his scent.

Aether doesn't know how long has passed before Dew speaks up, voice uncharacteristically small. "Starshine?"

He doesn't move, but rumbles low into Dew's hair. "Darling?"

"I'm not gonna ask for a scar again. But-" his breath hitches. "Aether, can I have one more kiss? Please?"

Aether lurches like he's been clawed. Dew doesn't just say please. Has never ever seen the need for pleasantries and politeness for as long as he's known him.

But Aether has never been able to deny Dew anything. Especially as dawn approaches, the passage of time until the uncertain future marching closer.

"There'll be more kisses," Aether whispers, trying to convince the two of them as he ducks down and takes Dew's lips with his. "This won't be the last."

Aether dutifully swallows Dew's sob, doesn't mention the way the kiss tastes of salt. Dew wraps those lean arms around the back of his neck, clinging to him as he kisses him like a starved man.

They ignore the tears streaking down their cheeks and kiss and kiss and kiss until Aether breaks away with a gasp, vision darkening around the edges. Dew chuckles sheepishly, his gills fluttering as a teal blush spills over his sharp cheekbones. A spindly hand cups Aether's cheek, thumb smoothing over and wiping away the moisture there.

Aether squeezes his eyes shut, leans into the touch, before Dew pulls him into another kiss. "Kiss me til it's time?"

Aether shudders hard. "No. We're not talking about that. Not right now," he growls into Dew's mouth, licking at the seam of his lips. "It's just us right now. Nothing else. Just you and me."

Dew grants him access, fingers curling into his overgrown mohawk as Aether licks gently into his mouth. Tries to hang on as their tongues slide together. Aether does not wince as his hair's pulled, but neither does Dew when Aether pulls him tighter to him.

"Can we keep going?" Dew whispers into the kiss, and Aether savors the taste of those words on his tongue. "Want to stop thinking about this all. Just want you."

"'Course," he says without any hesitation. And hopefully, without any tremor in his voice. "Whatever you want."

Dew must pick up something in his tone, because the next thing he knows is Dew's hands grabbing his face again. They're so close, Aether's eyes cross as they try to focus on him. "Like you said. Nothing else right now. This isn't a last cigarette. Come on."

Aether huffs, lips quirking up in a smile, before he kisses Dew again. In one smooth motion, he's rolling the two of them until Dew's on his back, Aether's hands braced on the pillows on either side of his head.

Dew blinks up at him, cool blue eyes a little glossy, but burning into his own. "Hi, starshine," he says, smiling.

"Hi, darling," Aether leans down to nuzzle their noses together. "How's this?"

Dew grins, his teeth shining sharp in the little bit of moonlight. "Fucking perfect," he says, stealing another kiss from Aether's mouth as he hitches a skinny thigh up against Aether's hip, gasping as it pushes his hips up against Aether's. His expression falls, something a little tender, uncharacteristically shy. "I, uh. I wanna look at you."

Aether kisses him again, selfishly. "Of course. I wanna look at you too. Pretty fishy."

Dew bats at Aether's shoulder, but there's no real heat behind it. Aether's felt what Dew can do when he means it.

"My pretty fishy," he says again, leaning down to nose at the fins lining his ear. It flicks against his head, and Aether can feel the soft huff of breath from Dew's gills.

"Yours," Dew says, voice thick and wavering. Aether's brow furrows, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment. Tries to steel himself. To become a pillar for him. A little bit of comfort in the shittiest few months of their lives. Whatever the morning brings-

Fuck all of that. Aether is right here. Dew under him, heart beating and magick crackling and gills fluttering with breath. With life. He surges down to kiss Dew again, tastes the possession and belonging on their tongues.

Dew moans, and Aether feels himself start to chub up where they're pressed together. Swallows down Dew's noises like ambrosia. Dew kisses him, fingers tangled into his hair and clinging, desperate.

"I've got you," Aether murmurs into Dew's lips, threading his fingers into the silvery fine strands of Dew's hair. Not pulling or moving or tugging. He just lets those strands slip through his fingers. "Anything you want, darling."

Dew keens, shuddering underneath him as Aether cages him in. "Want to stay like this forever," he breathes, the high points of his face flushing a deep teal as he admits it.

Aether breaks the kiss, panting, before ducking back down to kiss the corner of Dew's mouth. He trails kisses across his cheek, to the edge of his jaw, and Dew sighs, letting his head loll back to offer him the column of his throat. He pauses for just a moment, feeling Dew's pulse under his lips before licking a stripe up the side of his throat, tongue dipping teasingly into each fluttering gill.

Dew's moan is soft and keening. It's music to Aether's ears, and he can't help but rock his hips down into Dew's, drawing out another and another and another.

He paws at the elastic of Aether's boxers after a little while, gasping as Aether licks and sucks at his collarbone. "Get them off," he pants, even as he presses his bulge to Aether's, drawing noises from the both of them at the friction.

Aether reluctantly pulls back enough to kick his boxers off, and Dew's quick to follow with his own. His dick's already flushed and stiff, wet at the tip and well on its way to leaving a puddle of pre in the hollow of his hip.

"Aether," Dew breathes, eyes not leaving his face. It pitches up breathily, and Aether reaches down to squeeze the base of his cock.

"Not gonna leave you hanging, baby, I promise," he swears, shuffling as quickly as he can down the bed so he can lick a stripe up his hip. His eyes flutter shut at the taste, petrichor and a little salty and all Dew. "Bet you're getting wet down there too, but you taste so good here."

Dew's hands fly into his hair, tangling and pulling, but Aether can't even bring himself to wince at the sharp pull on his scalp. He slowly, thoroughly, licks up every drop of Dew's taste, even as his little cock steadily blurts out more. Aether gets a hand on himself, even though he's well on his way to fully hard, stroking slow and loose as everything gets him more worked up.

Aether gets one hand on Dew's hip, holding him steady as his hips try to buck. "C'mon," Dew whines, dick twitching each time he can feel the heat of Aether's mouth close to it. "Please."

That one word does funny things to Aether when Dew says it. His head lolls forward, groaning loud and low and rumbly in his chest. Tension spikes in his core, and he has to squeeze the base of his cock to keep from spilling over the sheets. "Fuck, darling, Dew, yes," he rambles, kissing the crease between Dew's hip and thigh. "I just- fuck. Do you want to cum like this, or on my cock? Anything you want."

There's a tug at his hair, and Aether crawls back up Dew's body as his water ghoul directs him. "Want you in me," Dew says, pressing up on his elbows to kiss him, parting his lips to let Aether's tongue slide against his. He almost mewls as he tastes his own precum.

Aether only breaks the kiss when he's out of breath, a hand sneaking between Dew's thighs to press fingertips against his rim. Dew gasps, eyes shining like gems in the low light. He's the most beautiful thing Aether's ever seen. His heart aches.

Aether catches himself, forces himself back into the moment with a shake of his head. "Breathe for me, darling," Aether whispers, leaning in to kiss away Dew's panting noises as he slips a finger inside.

He takes his time with prep, one then two then three thick, glamoured fingers, aided by Dew's slick. It sounds wet and obscene, but for once Aether isn't hearing it. He's laser focused on the little breathy gasps he's swallowing down, the slick sound of their lips and tongues together. Dew's claws dig into Aether's shoulderblades, and Aether takes the pain willingly, eagerly. Wants every sensation burnt into his brain.

Eventually, Dew pulls back, every gill on his body fluttering, tail curling around Aether's calf. "I'm not gonna break, jackass," he says, but there's a fondness in the way his lips quirk up, something soft in his eyes.

Aether scoffs, playfully rolls his eyes. He presses his fingertips hard into the spot he knows makes Dew's dick drip before he pulls his fingers out of his ass. He winds his tail around Dew's. "Come on, let me be good to you," Aether says, rubbing the tip of his nose against the bridge of Dew's. "Treat you how you deserve."

Dew's grip tightens, claws digging in. Aether wonders how long the marks will last, is secretly grateful that his own quintessence won't work on himself.

"Want you," Dew says, trying to nudge his hips up so Aether's cock slides against his taint. It presses his hard little cock against Aether's belly, and Dew groans as it drools into his happy trail.

"You have me," Aether promises, entranced with the way Dew's hair spools through his fingers like water. He holds the back of his head, tilts it up just enough to kiss him. Soft, gentle. What Dew deserves.

He gives himself to Dew just like that. Presses in slow and reverent. They both gasp into each other's lips, a soft groan at the first taste of pleasure.

Dew's just as wet as he ever is, and Aether groans into the kiss. His thighs shake with the effort of slow and steady. Dew hitches his legs up around his hips, locking his ankles around the small of his back.

The kiss breaks, Dew pressing his forehead to Aether's as their hips meet, nudging that secret place inside Dew that feels like coming home.

Dew curses softly, pretty blue eyes rolling into the back of his head as Aether's balls press heavy against his ass and the head of his cock nudges at his prostate. His dick kicks at the stimulation, blurting another rivulet of pre onto his belly.

Aether feels something strange swoop in his chest, and he cups Dew's face in both hands. "Baby, look at me," he says, a little panic beading up unbidden in his tone. "Dew, please look at me. Need you to look at me."

Dew's brow furrows, and he shakes his head, eyes focusing on Aether's face. "Starshine? You okay?"

Loaded question.

But Aether clears his throat, tries to even out his breathing. The wet warmth of Dew's body combined with the panic he's trying to keep at bay makes it just a little difficult. "I'm okay, Dew. Just. I wanna look at you."

Thank all seven saints, Dew doesn't press any further. He knows him, more than anyone else ever has. His hands skate up from Aether's shoulders to card through his mohawk. His expression is soft, warm, even as cool blue eyes examine every inch of him. "I'm right here."

Aether smiles, kisses him again. "I know."

"You've got me, and I've got you," Dew says, that determined edge cutting through his whisper.

"Yeah," Aether agrees, unable to tear his eyes away from the upturn of Dew's lips. "We've got each other."

They spend another moment like that, Dew's eyes fluttering as his hips shift minutely, the friction of Aether's cock teasingly maddening. But he never shuts his eyes, and his hands shift to hold the sides of his face.

Dew swipes a bass-calloused thumb over Aether's cheek, wiping away a tear that he hadn't even realized had fallen. "Hey, none of that," Dew says, licking the tear from his thumb coyly. "We're right here."

Despite his teasing, there's a little concern in the ocean depths of his eyes. Aether takes a deep breath and leans into Dew's hand. Nuzzles into it, feels the scrape of his overgrown stubble catching on Dew's callouses.

"Right here," Aether echoes. They lay there for a moment, just holding each other's faces, foreheads pressed together, until Dew huffs.

His bony ankles dig into the small of Aether's back. "Not gonna break, Aeth," he mumbles, trying to shove his hips back onto Aether's cock even though he's fully sheathed in his body. "And not to mention the elephant in the room or whatever, but night's not getting any younger. Fuck me. Please."

Aether knows better than to push at the obvious deflection. He groans as Dew says please again, rocking his hips forward and dragging a strangled noise from Dew's throat.

"Oh fuck," Dew laughs, a little startled. Aether smiles back at him, sets a steady rhythm. Pulls out until just the head rests inside of him, pushing back in smoothly until their hips press together again.

Even if Aether were a stronger ghoul, he wouldn't be able to hide just how affected he is by the clutch of Dew's body. He fits so perfectly inside of him that if Dew told him that Lucifer Himself had made him for Aether, he'd be more than inclined to agree. He groans loudly in the still of the dark, fingers tightening almost imperceptibly in Dew's hair.

Dew's head rolls back against the pillow as Aether starts to roll his hips into him. Aether's body covers his entirely, body shoved slightly up the mattress, rustling the sheets in the hearth. Dew does his very best to keep his eyes on Aether, even as the pleasure makes them start to unfocus and go a little cloudy.

Aether watches his kiss-swollen lips part slightly, his fangs nibbling at the plushness of his bottom lip. He always goes so soft when Aether gets to fuck him like this. All vulnerable and open and intimate in a way he never is outside of their bedroom.

"Yeah, darling?" Aether says, leaning down to nuzzle his nose against Dew's. He brushes a strand of silver hair from his forehead, tucking it behind a seaglass horn.

Dew opens his mouth to answer, but only a sweet little moan escapes past his lips.

Aether laughs fondly, adjusting his head just enough to taste that noise on his tongue with a kiss. Dew's hands fly back to his hair, pulling hard.

He rewards him with a deep thrust, just the tiniest bit faster. Knows the exact angle to hit the spot that makes Dew squeal. "Fuck, baby," he groans as Dew's lean thighs tighten around his waist. "Feels good, huh?"

"Yeah, it feels good, asshole," Dew whines. Aether can feel his cock kick hard against his belly, drooling precum. "Don't stop." Aether shakes his head. "Wouldn't dream of it," he promises, and he knows he means every word.

It's slow and languid just like that for a while, time syrupy around them. Wrapped up in each other's bodies, so tangled together they may as well be one creature. Sharing breath, hands roaming soft over each other's skin.

Aether tries to burn every minute detail into his brain. Petrichor and salt scent of his arousal, tangled with snowmelt and lilies and candle smoke and ozone. The texture of his scales against his skin. The cool puffs of breath from his gills. The tight clutch of his ass as their hips work together. The shine of silver hair in moonlight. The feel of his cheekbones against his palms.

He doesn't want to think of the world outside of their nest, their hearth. What will happen when the sun rises and they receive the mandatory summons to the chapel from one of the Imperator's ghouls. But. Just in case. He memorizes it all the same.

"Lucifer, fuck, Aeth," Dew gasps, back arching off of the bed with a particularly precise thrust. His dick jumps hard, and Aether worms a hand between their bodies to wrap his fingers around him. His shaft is slick, even though he's barely been touched. Dew practically mewls at the contact, eyes flying open, wide and blue like Aether's looking up into a cloudless sky.

"Oh, shit, baby. Squeeze me just like that," Aether coos, swiping his thumb just under the tip of Dew's cock. He doesn't jerk him off, just holds him, a little pressure and friction when his hips jolt.

Dew's eyes roll back, but Aether can't bring himself to make Dew look at him. Wants to let him lose himself in all of the pleasure he can get. "Aether," Dew gasps, clinging to him, trying his best to rock his hips back into his.

Every little feeling Aether has for this ghoul laying beneath him grows and swells until it's all encompassing. He watches Dew lose himself to the pleasure, keeps his hips angled just right so every slow stroke brushes against his prostate. "I've got you, baby," Aether promises, nuzzling into Dew's cheek.

"Fuck, starshine, please," Dew says, voice strained with a keen when Aether gives him a particularly precise thrust.

"Please what, darling?" Aether says, starting to pant. Sweat beads at his hairline. "I can't give you what you want if you don't tell me what it is."

Dew rolls his eyes, but a sharp whine escapes his lips. Fingers tangle a little tighter in Aether's hair. "Fuck me, starshine. I'm not gonna break."

They know he's talking about more than just this. But Aether gives him a little harder thrust anyways. Wants to keep pretending.

Dew pulls him down to his mouth as Aether sets a harder pace, finally giving into chasing his own pleasure. He dutifully swallows down every moan and grunt, gasping out his own noises as Aether fucks him.

They share breath, panting and desperate, staring into each other's eyes like all of the answers they'd ever need could be found there. Aether, very quietly, in the back of his mind, thinks it's true. Tries to drown himself in those deep blue eyes. "Fuck, darling, Dewdrop, feels so fucking good," he groans as the kiss breaks, lowering himself even lower to nuzzle his cheek against the side of Dew's head.

Dew's head lolls back against the pillows, baring the column of his throat, each gill fluttering with his panting breaths. He's gorgeous like this, silver hair haloed out around his head and almost metallic in the low light.

Aether freezes, and Dew lets out a confused, protesting noise. His claws dig into the backs of Aether's shoulders. "Said you weren't gonna stop, asshole," he pants, his chest heaving. The motion makes his nipple piercings glint.

"I know, I'm sorry," Aether breathes. He still doesn't start again. Not quite yet. "Just. I wanna look at you, darling."

The frustrated expression melts off of Dew's face, fingers gentling on Aether's back. Dew looks up at him, eyes scanning over his face as his hand migrates to his cheek once again. "I'm right here," he breathes, swallowing hard.

"I know," Aether says, petting through Dew's hair. His voice cracks. "I know."

He stares at Dew, forcing himself to just see him. No infirmary beds. No rituals. Here and now. In the dark and quiet of their bedroom. Safe in their hearth. The ghoul he loves with everything he has. That he'd follow anywhere.

Aether kisses Dew, fingers tangled gently in his hair. "I love you, Dewdrop."

He can feel Dew's smile against his lips. "I love you too, Aether."

They hold each other close for a while, no more words, just reveling in the closeness. The warmth of their bodies. Nothing else matters.

He doesn't know exactly how long has passed, doesn't want to know, when Dew's ankles tighten around the small of his back again. "You wanna keep going, starshine?"

Aether nods wordlessly, giving him one more sweet kiss before he starts to move again. Dew's eyes roll back, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as Aether jerks him off in time with his slow, deep thrusts.

"Right there, baby," Dew groans, craning his neck to nibble at Aether's jaw. His dick twitches against Aether's palm, and Aether matches his groan, cock throbbing where it's buried in his body. Aether nods, careful not to clip his chin against where Dew's face is right against him.

"'Course, I got you," Aether promises. He sneaks his other hand under Dew's hips, adjusting the angle until each slow stroke makes Dew mewl. It doesn't take long until Dew's thighs start to tremble around his waist, body going tense. He groans like he's been punched in the gut at the way Dew clenches around him.

"Aeth," Dew gasps, eyes wide. One of his hands leaves Aether's face, reaching down for- "Gimme your hand, Aeth, please, gimme your hand."

It's barely a moment that passes before Aether's setting Dew's hips back down carefully, rhythm never once faltering. He takes Dew's hand without hesitation, entwining their fingers with a gentle squeeze. He marvels a little at how much bigger his hand is than Dew's. But he doesn't stay distracted for long, refocusing his efforts to Dew's pleasure.

He holds Dew's hand, pinning it a little to the mattress as he holds himself up with it, his other hand working his cock. Dew squeezes his hand back, pretty blue eyes rolling back as he bucks his hips up into Aether's hand.

"You close, darling?" Aether asks, feeling the pleasure churning in his own gut. It tightens and threatens to snap at any moment.

Dew nods, kiss swollen lips slightly parted. "Yeah, please don't stop."

Aether redoubles his efforts, pressing his forehead to Dew's as his body jolts with each thrust. Dew's cock stiffens even more in his hand, and Aether tightens his grip as he strokes him. The slide is wet and slick with Dew's pre, and with the gasping cries Dew's giving him, it's about to be even wetter.

"Come on, darling, please cum for me," Aether whispers into the fins of Dew's ear. "Let me make you feel good."

Aether rocks his hips into Dew's once, twice, three more times before Dew's back arches almost violently with a sharp, soft cry. He keeps his hand moving on his dick, working him through his orgasm as cum splashes up the flat of his belly and his sternum. It spits and dribbles over Aether's knuckles, pearly white and sticky.

Dew's ass clenches hard around his cock. That, combined with Dew's shuddering, gasping cries, are enough to make him follow Dew over the edge. The tension deep in his gut snaps.

They press their foreheads together as they cum, Aether buried as deep as he can get in the clutch of Dew's body. Dew clings to him, whining softly as Aether works himself through it, little humping thrusts as he empties himself into his body, squeezing Dew's hand all the while. Dew squeezes back.

The room falls back to silence, save for panting, heaving breathing as the two catch their breaths. Aether carefully pulls out, but makes no attempt to move or go clean up, smoothing his thumb over the back of Dew's hand as he watches his gills flutter unevenly with breath.

He's beautiful. It makes his heart swell, fluttering against his sternum like a bird as Dew cards through his sweaty mohawk, strands of violet hair carding through his fingers. Aether knows exactly what he'll do for this little ghoul laying beneath him. Where he'll go, what he'll do.

"Darling," Aether breaths.

"Starshine," Dew coos, grinning a little giddily.

Aether swallows hard. Wipes his hand clean on the sheets of the hearth before bringing it up to tuck a strand of silver hair behind Dew's ear. Dew leans into the touch, eyes half lidded. A satisfied purr kicks up in his chest.

"Dewdrop," Aether tries again. A little furrow forms between Dew's brows as he tries to focus, worry seeping into his expression. "I want you to listen to me, okay?"

"Aeth," Dew whispers, blue eyes darting over his face. "Starshine, what's wrong?"

Aether squeezes his eyes shut. They both know what's wrong, but that's not worth mentioning right now. "I have a confession, darling. I was selfish. You want my scar. And I want to give you my scar, and to wear yours. I swear on all Seven Sisters, I want nothing more."

"Aether," Dew says. There's the sharp edge of wariness in his tone. Aether shakes his head, gently cups the side of Dew's face to keep his gaze.

"Please, Dew," Aether says. There's something in his voice that makes Dew freeze, staring up and actually listening. "I was scared. Of becoming your mate just to have the bond broken before it could even properly form. I- I didn't want to feel it happen. I didn't want it to kill me too. It's selfish and it's awful, considering what might happen to you, and I'm sorry."

"Aether," Dew breathes, his voice hitching. He squeezes Aether's hand so hard that the delicate bones inside grind together. He doesn't mind.

"Dewdrop. No matter what happens tomorrow, I will follow you anywhere. To the Ninth and back, through each and every circle until you tell me to stop. And if you want my bite, I will give it to you. I'm sorry I didn't do it the way I know you wanted. I didn't give you the big ceremony, with our pack watching and our Papa marrying us in the Prince's name. I'm sorry they can't be there for it anym-"

"That's not your fault," Dew hisses. There's tears welling up in his sea blue eyes. Aether presses his forehead to his. "Aether, that's not your fucking fault."

"Please, darling," Aether begs. He squeezes Dew's hand. Dew squeezes back. "It would be the honor of my life to wear your scar. Damn the Ghost Project, damn the Emerituses, damn it all. That would be what I'd be proudest of. I want to wear your scar, and I want you to wear mine. I love you more than anything. I thought, that by denying you what you wanted, I might have a chance of surviving whatever may come. But fuck that."

"Aether," Dew tries again. Aether just shakes his head.

"I don't want to be in a world where you're not there, Dew," Aether whispers. He takes a deep, shuddering breath. "If the very worst of my nightmares comes true tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, I will follow you, my love."

"Aether, don't say that," Dew whispers, pulling him down to nuzzle his cheek. His voice breaks. "I'm gonna be fine."

"I know you are," Aether swears. "But it's true. Being Up Top without you is not something that's in my cards, darling. Being anywhere without you isn't something I want to have to do. The Prince Himself would have to fucking stop me. I want to be yours, by scent and by scar."

Aether has more planned to say. He opens his mouth to say it, but all that comes out is a strangled yelp as Dew pulls him down to kiss him. It's clumsy, like new lovers, all teeth and tongue and passion. Aether melts into it all the same.

Dew lets him go, pushes him back just enough to look him in the eye. "You mean it?" he says, a little uncertainty shining through the cracks of the facade he's trying to pull back up.

"Of course I mean it," Aether promises, leaning down to nuzzle the side of his nose against Dew's. "Every word."

Dew nuzzles back, melting into the affection. "Then. Well. Aether, would you do me the honor of wearing my scar?"

"Yes, my darling," Aether breathes. They're still holding hands. "And would you allow me to give you mine?"

Dew beams, a brilliant dazzling gems in his eyes. "Yes, I would."

Aether tilts his head, offering the most vulnerable part of himself to Dew. His pulse, the lifeblood within. He gathers the magick at the very core of him, the pure quintessence, and brings it up to the surface, where it rests just under his skin. This would be easier Down Below, without the vessels they reside in containing the force. But it's easy enough for his magick to pool around his pulse.

If Aether cries when Dew's teeth sink carefully into the crook of his neck, Dew doesn't mention it. Mostly because he's crying softly too, tear tracks trailing over the sharp planes of his cheekbones. He stiffens under him when he tastes Aether's magick.

Aether doesn't shut his eyes, winding fingers through silver hair as the needle sharp pain lances through his nerves. But there's something else budding in his chest, pounding in time with his heart. It's growing, looking for something that isn't there yet. Aether turns to press a kiss to Dew's temple, his fangs still in his throat.

When Dew pulls back, it feels like he's taking something with him. His lips shine ruby in the low light. He makes no move to lick them clean. He's never been more beautiful. "Your turn, starshine," he says, lips and eyes shiny and wet.

Aether nods, ducking his head to nose at the crook of Dew's neck. He feels the puff of breath from Dew's gills, feels it hitch as he presses a kiss there. Aether squeezes his eyes shut, Dew's pulse thrumming just under his lips.

He presses his fangs there, carefully pushing in until he feels skin split under them. Dew tastes like his scent concentrated, fresh spring meltwater, lilies that have just bloomed, the way the chapel smells after every offering candle has been snuffed, and the iron metallic taste of blood underneath it all. Aether groans softly under his breath, but then that thing in his chest that's been budding and pulsing blooms as Dew's magick reaches out to meet him. Water and fire meeting quintessence in a complex braid.

It feels like completing an electrical circuit. Feels like pressing the last piece of a puzzle into place. It feels like coming home. Dew gasps sharply, arms wrapped tight around Aether's shoulders. Aether shudders hard, careful not to disturb his teeth in Dew's throat, doesn't want to hurt him any more than he already has.

After a moment, Aether pulls back, sees the print of his teeth in Dew's throat. Pride and possession and love swirl in a deadly mix in his chest. There's blood on his mouth, just like Dew. He grins down at him, feeling the tendrils of their matebond start to entwine and tether.

Aether's never felt anything like it. He wants to feel it forever.

Dew lets out a sob, or a laugh, and pulls Aether down to kiss him, blood on their mouths be damned. Aether kisses him like a man starved, fingers tangled in Dew's hair, holding him so close like he can keep him from ever leaving.

When they pull back, it's only far enough for Aether to breathe, for the two of them to stare into each other's eyes, amethyst to aquamarine. Their lips ghost against one another, and they're not sure who starts it first, but before they know it they break into exhausted, delirious laughter.

"You're bleeding," Dew laughs, eyes dropping to the crook of Aether's neck. Aether chuffs, delighted.

"So are you," he beams, ducking down to lap up the mess dripping down into Dew's collarbone. The press of his tongue makes Dew giggle. He smells like Aether here. Where the bit of the magick Aether left behind will live forever.

Dew follows suit, cleaning up Aether's matebite and encouraging it to heal. When it does, it will leave a silvery scar. Permanent. Claiming. Dew's mark on Aether, and vice versa. Where their magick will tether them together forever.

The two of them curl together into their hearth, encouraging their delicate, brand new bond to blossom and strengthen. Sharing soft kisses and touches as their magick weaves together. Aether lays on his side, his back to the door, Dew curled up against his chest. Aether tucks a strand of hair behind his mate's ear. "I love you, Dewdrop."

Dew smiles brightly, tucking his face into his mate's collarbone. "I love you too, Aether."

In the safety of their hearth, Aether presses a kiss to the crown of Dew's head. Breathes in his scent. The way it now entwines with his own. Nothing can ever get to them here.

Outside, the sun rises.

#god. i've had this thought about dewther becoming mates for about a year #and now it is the saddest smut i've ever written #now if you'll excuse me i'm hiding my amaryllis and taking a nap lmao #cw blood #cw death mention #it's all okay because they end up happy.#they have a proper ceremony later. with copia officiating and their new pack witnessing and it's sappy and disgusting and they're happy #cw medical #minor character death #dot's writing #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #dewther #dew/aether #aether/dewdrop #the band ghost #the band ghost fanfiction

54 notes · View notes