#i get it he's a sad little boy with daddy issues. i hope that gets resolved. he's a kid he has a whole life ahead of him he can get nicer.

[clownowo]

imagine if it turns out the friendship scheme was all for nothing

[papercorgiworld]

I don't need space, I need you

This is the requested Draco and Enzo version

Read the Mattheo and Theo version here.

I present you cuteness overload with needy Draco and Enzo and some sassy insults towards Matt and Theo, because I can't resist adding banter and jokes. To the person that requested this, thank you! ☺️ To the people that have sent in requests or casual small talk I'm slowly working through my inbox... I will get to it one day... just know that I love all you darlings and I'm very grateful for your messages. Now, time to get to some reading, I hope you enjoy it, sending you all lots of love! 💛

Draco

“What’s the point of having a girlfriend if I can’t find her.” Draco complains, approaching his friends relaxing by the fireplace in the Slytherin common room. “Have any of you seen here?” Enzo looks up at the impatient blond. “I think she said something about studying with Granger.” Draco is about to start whining about you not being there and instead spending time with Hermione Granger of all people, when he’s interrupted by a snorting Mattheo. “Finally a moment of peace for my fallen brother. Sit and enjoy your freedom before miss clingy returns.” Theodore and Enzo chuckle and Draco feels forced to at least smile at Mattheo’s comment. “Yeeah-, finally peace.” Draco tries his best to sound convincing, but to him peace was cuddling with you, not hanging out with mister mommy and daddy issues, the Italian manwhore and Enzo. The latter picked up on Draco’s reluctance to sit down. “If you miss her so much, maybe you should go look for her?” Theo laughed at Enzo’s suggestion thinking it was a joke and Draco feels the need to make it absolutely clear that he doesn’t miss you at all. “No! If she gets any more cuddly and clingy I’m gonna need to hide from her. And she’s always so nosy, why does she always need to know how my day was? I'll tell her if she needs to know anything.” Mattheo chuckles and offers his friend a drink, but to Draco that did not make up for missing out on time with you.

Your excitement to tell Draco about your day was replaced by a wrecking sadness that made your tears well up. Clingy. Too cuddly. Nosy. As you turn on your heels to leave the common room before anyone notices you, you almost bump into someone because your eyes are getting blurry. Worried that you had been the most annoying girlfriend ever you decided to do better. Draco had been a wonderful boyfriend so far and you really didn’t want to screw this up by being overwhelming. 

***

“He’s a guy and it’s Draco. I’m just giving him some space.” You explained to Luna and Hermione, who both frowned as you joined them in the stands of the quidditch stadium without wishing your boyfriend luck as he left the barracks. Normally you would kiss him passionately in front of everyone and he would hug you tight before he hopped on his broom, but today you wished him luck at breakfast and that was it. You thought you were giving him space as you smiled at him from the stands, but instead you were giving your boyfriend a heart attack as he spotted you so far away. “Hey, Malfoy! The game is about to start. Get on your broom.” Theodore yelled annoyed. “But- but-” Draco’s eyes moved from you to Theo and back to you. The game could not possibly start without you wishing him luck. Confused Draco eventually got on his broom, but his head was nowhere near the game. 

***

Fred and George cheerfully ran up to you and George even picked you up for a moment, making you laugh. Gryffindor had won and the boys were convinced you aided in their victory. “Never wish Draco luck anymore!” Fred yelled and George put you back down as he noticed how confused you were. “I’ve known chickens who fly better than he flew today.” You frowned at the statement. “You think it was because I didn’t wish him any luck before the game?” Both nodded and then left as they were distracted by other people cheering. 

A little worried you slowly made your way in the direction of the changing room. Most of the slytherin team had already made their way to the common room, mainly to keep a pissed off Mattheo from throwing punches, but Draco wasn’t with them so you guessed he was sulking by himself.

You gently push the door open and it reveals a defeated, sweaty and shirtless Draco sitting in an empty room. He hadn’t even made it to the showers yet, his head resting against the wall behind him like it would fall off if it didn’t have any support. His eyelids slowly open and he ssees your worried figure standing at the door. Why is she not rushing to be by my side? Why is she being so distant? Is she going to break up with me? His head was spinning and his heart was aching. “Bad game, huh.” You eventually speak up and Draco just huffs in response. “If you’re going to break up with me just do it already. I’m having a bad day, but I can handle it.” Draco’s eyes look dull and his voice sounds soulless. He gets up and takes a few steps towards you, studying you as you look absolutely shocked. Once you process his words you immediately rush towards him, your eyes pained at the idea of breaking up with the man you so love. 

“I’m not breaking up with you!”. Your voice is surprisingly loud and there is a hint of fear in your words as you worry he was going to end things with you. Your hands rest on Draco’s arms and he shakes his head, not understanding why you were so distant earlier. “Then why didn’t you wish me luck?” You're baffled at the question, it was obvious to you why and you didn’t expect him to care for it. “You said I was too cuddly and too clingy. So I thought it best to give you some space and not overwhelm you before a game. I wished you luck this morning.” 

Draco looks at you like you had just said the dumbest thing ever. “Space? I don’t want space! I want you. I need you! I love you.” Your eyebrows knit together. “But I clearly heard you say-” Draco shakes his head. “When did I ever say you were too clingy… or cuddly. It’s why I love you so much.” You take a step back from your boyfriend. “Yesterday, in the common room, you were talking with Riddle, Berkshire and Nott.” Draco opens his mouth in realisation and then clenches his jaw as he curses himself. He takes a step and closes the distance you had created between you two. “Yeah… I said that… but I didn’t mean it. I said it because I felt that the truth was a bit embarrassing.” You look at your boyfriend with questioning eyes. “Not really cool to tell your mates that you’re looking for your girlfriend because you want to snuggle and watch the stars from the astronomy tower.” You give him a soft smack on the head and he looks at you with apologetic eyes. “I felt horrible after hearing you say those things.” Draco pulls you into his chest. “Shouldn’t have listened in.” He jokes, but you don’t think it’s funny at all and you try to push free from his arms. However you are unsuccessful but Draco apologises. “I shouldn’t have said those things, because I’m just one big softy for you. Nothing tough about me when it comes down to you.” Gently his lips search yours and you’re hesitant at first to kiss your idiotic boyfriend, but when he apologises again you let his lips meet yours for a sweet kiss. 

“So next game, kisses and hugs?” You ask and Draco nods. “Yes. And I don’t think a single slytherin is going to mock us for being too clingy since the only chance we have at winning the quidditch cup is with you by my side.” Nothing tough about Draco at all. Just a needy boyfriend. You think to yourself as you kiss him. 

Enzo

“Pans!” Enzo squeals dramatically as he enters the slytherin common room. “Where is the future missus Berkshire? Can’t find her anywhere.” Before Pansy can answer Enzo’s question Mattheo puts his book down grinning at his friend. “Can’t be without her for even a second?” Enzo’s excitement drops as he notices everyone is looking up now, curious what Enzo’s answer will be. Enzo was always a bit different from his nonchalant and stoic friends. He knew the tough act didn’t suit him and he was confident enough to just be himself, but right now he was a bit worried. He felt himself get nervous and chuckled at Riddle’s question. “Told you, he’s absolutely whipped.” Draco says with an arrogant tone as he raises his eyebrows, challenging Enzo.

“She was at the Library with Luna, but I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.” Pansy finally answers, after rolling her eyes at Draco’s arrogance. “Good, that gives me a few more minutes free of her… because I am not whipped. She’s the one that always wants to be near me.” Mattheo leans back and nods along, pretending to believe Enzo. “Oh really, so why do you keep putting up with it?” Enzo sits down, lounging casually. “I like her so I put up with her clinginess, but honestly I don’t need her around all the time. The hugs and kisses… that’s all her… not me.” 

You had only taken three steps in the common room before stopping. You felt your legs get wobbly at your boyfriend’s words. You take quiet steps backwards and hurry out of the common room. Obviously you were not wanted there.

However, you missed out on Pansy’s loud snickering. “Oh please, Enzo! You liar!” Enzo is absolutely shocked at Pansy’s accusations, but no one else is as all his friends start laughing. “You couldn’t go a day with her.” Draco says, shaking his head at Enzo’ sad attempt at trying to act indifferent towards you. “Alright, alright. I can’t stand being without her! I love her. I need her.” Mattheo laughs, satisfied with Enzo’s confession. “There’s the real Berkshire I know.” Enzo lets his head fall back, bracing for days of mocking and jokes about his attachment to you. 

***

“Oh yeah! Sounds fun. I’ll be there.” Enzo overhears you agreeing to go to Hogsmeade with the golden trio and leans over his desk towards you. “Hey, hey! You can’t go to Hogsmeade with them on Saturday, we were going.” You turn in your seat towards your boyfriend and kiss him on the cheek. “You can go with your friends. We don’t have to do everything together.” Your answer hurts Enzo and his eyebrows knit together. Yes we do, what else is the purpose of a relationship. But before your boyfriend can protest out loud the professor enters the classroom.

***

“Look at her.” Enzo complains to an uncaring Theodore Nott. “The entire week she’s been distant, always better things to do than being with me and now this.” A frustrated Enzo gestures your way and Theo shrugs. “What am I supposed to do?” Enzo whines.

“Kidnap her and lock her up, then you have her all to yourself.” Mattheo suggests, making Theo frown and offer his own advice on the matter. “No, don’t listen to abandonment issues over here. Just get a new girlfriend.” Blaise just facepalms at the realisation he is the only sane one in his friend group. “Ignore both abandonment issues and attachment issues and just go talk to your girlfriend like a normal person.” Blaise emphasises the last words as he glares judgingly at Mattheo and Theo who both act offended. Enzo nods, realising that Blaise was right.

You notice your boyfriend strutting over to you and your friends from across the street and excuse yourself to meet him halfway. “Hey you.” You whisper and Enzo immediately smiles, feeling relieved that you're still your sweet self. “I miss you.” Your boyfriend blurs, even surprising himself with his honesty. “You wanna have dinner together tonight?” You offer, but Enzo shakes his head making you frown. “No. I mean yes, obviously I would like that, but it’s not just that I want to do just one thing with you. We’ve barely spent time together this week.” An uncomfortable laugh escapes you, but you repress it when you notice how sad Enzo’s eyes are. “We’ve spent plenty of time together, besides you’re a guy, you need your space. I don’t want to suffocate you with hugs and kisses all the time.” 

Enzo is baffled at your words. “I’m a guy so I need space. What’s that supposed to mean?” There was a slight tone of agitation in his voice that made you take a step back, but he was quick to close the distance by taking a step closer. “Who put all these crazy ideas in your head of needing to give me space and suffocating me with love?” Your face falls at his harsh tone, but you bite back. “It was you. You were the one that said you wanted to be free of me for a few minutes and that I was the needy one and you had to put up with my clinginess. It was you, Enzo Berkshire, you idiot. So you have no right to complain about me giving you space, since you asked for it.” Enzo’s jaw clenches at your accusation. “I did not!” You cross your arms and raise your eyebrows. “I heard you with Pansy, Matt and Draco.” 

Enzo frowns for a moment, but when he remembers his eyes widen and a laugh escapes his lips. “You believed that?” He asks and you just stare at him in confusion. “They didn’t believe any of it. I was trying to convince them I wasn’t some whipped guy that couldn’t be without his girlfriend for a second, but they saw right through me.” You unfold your arms and Enzo takes your hands in his. “I don’t need space, I need you. So please don’t force me to go days without your hugs and kisses. You don’t suffocate me, if anything I suffocate without you.” You kiss him tenderly and out of excitement Enzo picks you up, making you squeal softly. “Please spend the day with me?” You nod and kiss your boyfriend’s pouty lips. 

[beesspacedotorg]

Romance is Doomed (Lie)

Summary: your parents tumultuous relationship has given you very little hope and expectations for your own. your boyfriend, Seungmin, seems determined to change that ... at least until he forgets an important romantic holiday. 4.2k

Warnings: angst. fluff. Kim Seungmin. porn. insecure reader. edging. no body type or pronouns mentioned. bad (?) parents. I wrote this based on a very sad conversation my parents had, so reader has mommy and daddy issues (double whammy). reader is insecure and at one point starts waxing poetic about being unlovable (????) but Seungmin calls them out on it so dw. This is my first time writing Seungmin so ... he might be a little ooc.

note: I don't really have an explanation for this. my parents made me sad so I wrote a fanfiction about Kim Seungmin to make me feel better. This is incredibly self indulgent, so if you don't like it that's okay. this is literally in my google docs as "This is for me and if you don't like it, sucks" so.

You know that it’s his job, so you can never get mad at him for it, not really. That would be irrational, and crazy, and you are neither of those things- or, not enough of those things to kick up a fuss. Still, when you hear him say it something in your chest pangs and you are left with a weird, hollow emptiness that you have no name for.

“Who’s your valentine?” Everyone is asking him, he’s an idol, it’s his job.

“Stay!” He smiles cutely and it squints his eyes slightly as he does. You can see his perfectly white and perfectly aligned teeth on your phone and you pause the video to switch to a different app instead, but your feed is perfectly curated to show you videos and pictures of your boy and his group, so all you see is him and that damned clip from that damned video.

You’re launched back to a conversation you’d had with your parents. It was in jest, you weren’t serious, but the tone of the day shifted drastically after you’d asked it.

“Mom, who’s your Valentine?” You were drinking the soda you’d just refilled and wincing slightly at the carbonation as you walked towards the car.

“No one, your Dad hasn’t asked me yet.”

“Dad, are you and Mom each other's Valentines?” He’s opening the door as you ask.

“No.” You can see your mom’s face fall, and for the rest of the day there’s a kind of gray cloud hanging over your parents. That moment sticks with you, and every year you think about it.

You and Seungmin are different though, you’re absolutely positive that he loves you. You’re absolutely positive that he cares about you and wants you around, you’re absolutely positive that if he wanted to get rid of you, he would. But he hasn’t, so you trust that he wants you around. But, this is his job. This is his job and you knew what you were getting into when the two of you started dating, so you can’t be mad at him, you won’t be mad at him.

-

“How are things at home?” You’re on the phone with your mother, you call her once a week. No matter what she’s put you through, she’s still your mother and you still love her, so you call.

“Oh, the usual. Your Dad is being. You know.” She sounds sad as she says it, and the worst part is that you do know. Crotchety and mean and in pain and cruel. So, you do know, and you feel bad for your mom when she says it. She is his wife, and he cannot spare her a drop of kindness.

The call ends, as it always does, with one of you saying something cutting and the other hanging up without responding to the “I love you” at the other end of the line. You look at your calendar. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and he still hasn’t asked you. Your mom says he might just assume that you two are each other’s Valentine’s because you’re together, you say that it would still be nice if he asked. Your mom tells you not to hold your breath. You tell her that you aren’t planning on it.

-

It took the two of you a while to get together, longer than it should have, probably. But, as in all things, you are naturally distrustful of the intentions of strangers, or strangers-turned-friends-turned-? so you avoided the topic any time he would try and hint at it.

“I have two tickets to the Giants game tonight!”

“Sick! Those are hard to come by, Seungminnie! I hope you and Jeongin have fun.”

“Well, actually-”

“Hey! Did I ever tell you about this thing I saw the other day?”

When you did finally stop avoiding it, he asked you why, and you told him it was stupid, and he said nothing can be stupider than the time he and Felix managed to over whip the eggs for their souffle pancakes, truly a feat considering the fact that the eggs they were using were cold.

“I like you a lot,” you’d said. “I like you a lot and it feels like the love I have for you is replacing the air that I breathe, and I know, one day, you’ll get tired of me and my sadness and my everything, and I’d rather not have to spend years of my life filling in the hole that you’ll leave with foam that’ll collapse come morning.”

He’d paused for a moment, and you’d looked at the ground.

“I don’t want you to get tired of me and leave. I don’t want to be afraid you’ll leave so I do it first and regret it days later. I don’t want you to get tired of me and stay only to make jabs at me until I am nothing but a pasta strainer masquerading as a person.”

He’d frowned at you.

“Do you really think that little of me?”

“What?”

“Do you think that I would walk away like that? That I wouldn’t put in effort to stay, or to make you stay? That I would hate you so much that I would share a bed with you and hurt you at the same time?”

“No, but-”

“Listen,” he grabs your hands, “I’m not entirely sure why you think the way that you do about these things, and I won’t promise that I won’t hurt you- I’m not that stupid. But I promise that I’ll try not to, that I’ll make it up to you if I do. But you have to promise me something too, okay?”

“What’s the promise?”

“Don’t think of me that way. I’m mean, sure, but I’m not evil.”

“It’s not that I think you’re evil-”

“But I’m the one doing those things to you, right? In your head, it’s me? Whether you deserve it or not, I’m the one doing it.”

“... I see your point.”

“Good, I was running out of emotionally intelligent things to say. If you hadn’t been worn down we would’ve had to rain check this conversation for another day.” You laugh at him and he holds your hand.

“Your whole speech was really poetic, by the way, how long have you been sitting on that?”

“How long have I been alive?” He laughs, because he was supposed to, but he places a kiss on your temple too. And there’s a moment where you think that romance isn’t doomed, and, maybe, neither are you.

-

The first time you and Seungmin have sex, you spend the whole time worrying if he secretly finds you gross and disgusting. Well, you try to, but at that point, he’s gotten pretty good at telling when you’re writing heavy prose in your head and he then does his absolute best at making you lose your mind with pleasure. He succeeds.

“What were you thinking about?” Is what he says while he’s testing the shower water to make sure it’s hot enough to keep you warm. You’d tried to find a happy middle once, while you were showering together (In the dark, because “your eyes hurt”. You just weren’t ready for him to see you naked.) and goosebumps had broken out across your skin almost immediately, you’d shivered so hard it sent your teeth chattering, and your lips had started turning blue. When the two of you got out and Seungmin noticed, he’d said that you two would just shower together at temperatures comparable to the lakes of hell and he’d get over himself.

You shake your head at him. He won’t like your answer. He asks you this often, when you shrink in on yourself, and when you tell him, he always looks a little sad. But you don’t like to lie, and it’s bad manners to keep things a secret from your partner, so you tell him.

“I was worried you thought I was like, I dunno. Ugly, or something.” He deadpans at you. You worry that he’s mad. He huffs and drags a hand down his face.

“I’ve never come so hard in my life and you think that I’m not attracted to you? I came so hard I nearly blacked out, came so hard I think I told you that I loved you and you think that I think you’re ugly.” You feel slightly chided. He grabs your hand and gently guides you into the shower.

“Just because you feel that way about yourself doesn’t mean that I do.” He’s looking into your eyes as he says it, tucking your hair out of the way because it doesn’t need to be washed yet while he reaches behind you to grab the body wash. You gape at him like a fish.

“Close your mouth,” he nudges your jaw shut gently, “you don’t want to catch flies.”

You have something new to think about.

-

241302 11:37 am

Seungminnie?

eunming

no

seunmind

no!

having trouble yoebo?

ah shit

haha! yoebo

-_-

what did you even want

I love uou

yoo

yo

Jesus Christ

YOU

cringe

:( 

-

Your boy isn’t one for romance and displays of affection, you know that. But you’ve had such an awful and weird day that you can’t brush off what he says like you normally would. It’s not even noon and yet everything that could throw you off the wheel emotionally has. Like they all took turns, throwing you off, dragging you back in, and repeating it until you were a nice, buttery consistency.

He’s busy though, work and schedules and being an idol, so you reply with your usual sad face and nothing else and take a nap. Naps always fix things.

-

241302 11:45am

jagi?

is everything okay?

have fun doing whatever it is then

i enjoy being around you most of the time!

-

241302 1:27pm

hannie showed me this video

well

he didn’t show me per se

he showed linohyung and i was being nosy

but anyways

it was this cat that was very small

has an outrageous win/loss ratio for hunts

i think you would like it!

it’s called a

sorry i had to ask hannie its name again

the black footed cat he says

-

241302 4:15pm

hihi

you havent texted all day

are you gaming again kkkk

i was going to come over but i dont want to interrupt

should i just stay and game with yongbokkie???

maybe if we play genshin i’ll see you

we can finally co-op!

-

241302 5:27 pm

ahh

youre not on genshin :(

are you playing something else

jagi?

hmmm

make sure you eat and use the bathroom kkkkk

you always forget when you get sucked in

-

You’re jolted awake by a very loud and rough knock on your front door. Also by the sound of your phone ringing incessantly. You answer the phone first.

“Hello?” Your voice is slightly panicked, no one ever calls you save for when it’s an emergency, so you’re half expecting someone to be dying or dead when you pick up. You’re halfway out of bed and scanning your floor for a pair of pants when the banging on your door stops and you register the voice on the other end of the phone.

“Did you change your lock?”

“Did I- Seungmin, what?”

“My key doesn’t work anymore.” He sounds like he’s pouting.

“The building changed it recently. Something about security measures or whatever.”

“Ah. Come open the door.” You’re opening the door as he says it, rubbing your eyes and blinking at him.

“Were you asleep?” He’s toeing his shoes off. He has something behind his back.

“Yeah.”

“Explains why you didn’t answer your texts, then. I got worried.” He kisses the side of your face.

“Seungmin, what on earth is in your hands right now?” He looks down.

“Keys and my phone.” You stare at him.

“The other one, genius.”

“Yes, I like to think I am. Thank you.” You keep staring. He sighs. He hands you a thing of your favorite candy with a note that says “more to follow” attached.

“It’s come to my attention-”

“Was it Chan? Or Changbin, this time?” He glares slightly.

“It’s come to my attention, and I realized this all on my own with no outside help-”

“Sure.”

“With some outside help-”

“Better.”

“That tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and some people enjoy being asked by their partners if they will participate.”

“Is this you asking?”

“I’m getting there!” He takes your hands the best he can while you’re still holding the candy and the note and looks at you again.

“I am sorry I didn’t ask sooner. I will ask sooner next year and the year after that and the year after that and so on and so forth. But!” He gets down on one knee. You kick him slightly with your foot.

“Unless you’re proposing, you better stand back up.” He stands back up.

“Will you be my Valentine?” You can feel your eyes water.

“If I have to.” You roll your eyes for show. Seungmin stands still for a moment.

“Is that how I sound to you?”

“Sometimes.” He raises an eyebrow. “Most of the time.”

“I am hilarious.” You roll your still-wet eyes as you open the candy.

“That’s not the whole gift.”

“I gathered, there’s a note that says so right here.” He huffs at you, giving you that deadpan stare again. He told you once that you’re one of the few people he’s met who can give and take his sarcasm in equal measures, you told him that was the nicest thing he’s ever said to you, he hit you with a pillow.

He doesn’t answer, instead he pulls you closer by the back of your neck and kisses you. Kissing Seungmin is always an experience, it always makes your head slightly fuzzy and makes your heart stutter in your chest. You think that if it was possible to die by kissing, you would’ve done it the first time you and Seungmin made out. As it stands, you just feel a little unsteady on your feet.

Seungmin pulls away and you catch yourself staring at his mouth, wet and pink and swollen just enough that it reminds you of when he had braces and his mouth was always slightly pushed out. He grabs your hand and leads you to your bedroom, placing his gifts for you somewhere on your dresser before he nudges you onto the bed.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” His hands are winding around your waist, pushing your shirt out of the way, and he’s kissing you again.

“You’ve told me before,” you say it against his mouth, hands coming to tangle in his soft, fluffy, recently dyed hair and you can feel the sigh he emits from where your chests are pressed together.

“Can I compliment you just once?” You smile, cheeky.

“No. Never.” He grumbles something about you being impossible as he tugs your shirt off, leaning down to mouth at your chest. You tug his hair lightly and he shoots a glare up at you.

“What.”

“It’s not fair that I’m not wearing a shirt and you are.”

“‘It’s not fair that-’ Be patient.”

“I thought this was a Valentine’s day gift.”

“It’s about to turn into a Valentine’s day ungift if you don’t stop.”

“What the fuck is an ungift?” He shoves his hand down your pants to shut you up.

“You always have to be so difficult,” you interrupt his sentence with a choked off moan. “Can’t ever just be good for me, can you? Always have to fight me every step of the way.” You shake your head at him, denying it.

“Don’t lie, you’re doing it right now. You’re lucky today is a holiday, or I really would turn this into whatever the opposite of a gift is.”

The tone shift would’ve given you whiplash if you had enough mental facilities left to think, or if this wasn’t so on par with what you expect from him. Seungmin likes to keep you on your toes, sometimes letting you push without any retaliation, sometimes letting you get away with nothing at all. It seems he’s more merciful today, and you pull him close for a “thank you” peck that soon turns into something more.

“Seungmin, please-”

“Desperate. You’re always so desperate.”

“You’re being mean.”

“Am I?” The hand that’s touching you slows down and you whine at him. “Am I being mean to you?” He tilts his head to the side, falsely curious and fully condescending. He adds a fake pout for good measure.

“I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be apologizing after all. I should be nicer to you, shouldn’t I?” He’s cooing slightly at you, and you know he’s not being genuine, but you really just want him to go back to touching you like he was earlier, so you pout back and nod. He gives you a kiss on your downturned mouth and picks his pace back up.

Soon enough, you’re forgetting that he was ever being devious in the first place and then you’re spilling on his fingers. You’re brutally reminded when he keeps going, when he pins down your hands as they try to push him away, when he bullies his stupidly slender hips between your thighs so you can’t close them. It feels like your nerves are on fire, but at the same time you want more. You’re cumming again and tears spring to your eyes at the confusing sensation of too much and not enough and you can vaguely hear Seungmin mumbling empty platitudes at you through the sharp ringing in your ears.

There’s a brief pause where he shoves your bottoms and underwear off, mad about them being in his way, and then the confusing feeling is back again as his hand returns.

“Seungminnie, Seungmin, I can’t, I can’t.” You’re thrashing around hard enough that you’ve accidentally kicked the comforter off the bed.

“You can. I know you can. Just this last one, okay, baby? And then you can have whatever you want.” You know he would stop if you wanted him to, but you don’t really want him to. You want him to make you come a third time on his fingers and then you want to do it on his cock. His stupidly perfect cock.

Sometimes, when you’re busy waxing poetic about love and Seungmin and life, you think about how the two of you were most certainly made for each other. How Seungmin was made to fit you in all the ways that you were made to fit him and that whatever force brought you together made his cock with you in mind. The way it fits inside you and gives you that almost-too-full feeling without ever being too much always makes your head spin and you clench involuntarily at the thought of it even now. It doesn’t escape Seungmin’s notice, because of course it doesn’t, and he laughs a little at you.

He stops laughing when you come on his hand again, and eases you through it until you're twitching away from him and whining and then he’s kissing the space between your eyebrows and shucking off his own clothes.

You spend a minute just staring at him. He’s beautiful. You think he’s the most handsome and perfect man in the world and he has the audacity to walk around saying that he’s just “decent.” It’s moments like these where you finally understand what he gets all pissy about when you say you don’t like the way you look.

You’re drawn back into reality when you see him wrap one of his beautifully huge hands around his dick and you whine at him.

“What now?” The words are meant to be sharp but he’s too out of breath when he says them, so you brush it off.

“You said I could have whatever I wanted and I want your cock!” You sound petulant, even to yourself. “You can’t- Seungmin!” He huffs and drops his hand from himself and you can see his muscles tense with how hard he’s trying to give you what you want.

“Needy and desperate. You came three times and I can’t even come once before you’re begging for more.” He’s sliding into you as he says it, wincing as you tighten in sensitivity and stilling with the effort of not coming too soon. You nod at him anyways, finally agreeing to the things he’s saying. If he asked you to jump out of an airplane with no parachute right now, you’d probably say yes, as long as he would finally start fucking you.

“Mhm. Want you- want you all the time. Need you all the time.”

“Yeah? All the time?” His hips are sloppy and uncoordinated as he fucks into you, but you wouldn’t be able to handle much anyway with how sensitive you are, so you’re grateful that Seungmin has lost his composure.

“All the time.”

“Guess that makes you a slut then, hmm?” You huff, gathering as much of your shot coordination as you can to weakly hit him in the chest.

“No. Only want- I only want you.” He coos, softening.

“Yeah? Only me?” You nod. “Does that make you my slut then?” You shake your head. “No? What are you then, hmm?” You’re not sure, but you know that you love him, and the force of your love for him shakes every atom in your body if you think about it too long.

“I love you.” It’s all you can say, so it’s all that comes out of your mouth and Seungmin kisses your face because he can’t aim for a specific spot with how the two of you are moving and you know that he understands you because he always does.

“I love you, too. Love you so much. I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.” You let out a slight sob against his mouth and he shushes you.

“Pretty, you’re so pretty, baby. I love you so much.” He’s muttering it against your skin, hips meeting yours over and over until you’re tightening around him with an orgasm that’s almost too much to handle and he’s spilling into you too.

There’s a moment where the two of you just sit there, panting and breathing each other’s air, stuck together with sweat and cum and Seungmin’s dick that’s still inside of you and then your lip is wobbling and tears are spilling hot and fresh down the sides of your face.

“Woah, woah what’s wrong? My dick game isn’t that bad, is it?” You shake your head at him and tug him down for a hug. He lets out a noise as he’s flattened against you and his face is smushed against the bed. He has to move his head to the side to avoid suffocating, so his breath is hitting the inside of your ear and you move your head away because it’s very uncomfortable. He wraps his arms around you the best that he can from your position and when his dick slips out, you whine.

“Listen, I would totally love to still be inside you right now, but I think my dick might fall off, so just gimme a minute, yeah? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I thought you forgot.”

“Forgot- oh. About Valentine’s? I might’ve forgotten to ask you to be my Valentine, but I didn’t forget about the holiday. I was actually strong-arming Channie hyung into letting me skip out on our schedules tomorrow. I was- I am, gonna spend the day with you.” His voice is low because of how close he is to your ear, but yours isn’t when what he says makes you cry harder.

“Everyone always forgets.”

“Not me. Not me, baby. I have to live up to my title of most dedicated boyfriend, I can’t just forget about holidays.”

“Who even,” your breath catches because of your tears as you start to calm down, “who even gave you that title?”

“It’s not important.”

“Seungmin.”

“... it was Hannie.” You let out another cry, but you’ve calmed down enough that this one is for show.

“I can’t believe,” your breath hitches again, “I can’t believe you’re gonna leave me for Han Jisung, ace of Stray Kids.”

“Yeah,” he turns his face flat. “I am, unfortunately. Sorry to break it to you.”

“That’s okay,” you turn your tear-stained face to look at him, smirk stretching across your mouth, “I’ll just go and date Stray Kids’ best vocalist. Bang Christopher Chan.” 

“Yah! You said you stopped having a crush on him!”

“And you said you wouldn’t leave me for one of your members!” He huffs and hides a smile in your shoulder as he moves to the side of you to hug you better.

“I love you. I really do,” he says. He’s moved your head to the side so you’re looking into his pretty brown eyes as he says it.

“I love you, too.” You do, you really do. You hope he can feel it from where he’s touching your skin. You hope he can feel it even when he’s nowhere near you. He smiles at you, and you think that he can. You think that he knows how much you love him and he loves you with the same sort of ferocity. You look at him and you think that romance isn’t doomed, and neither are you.

[nina-renmen]

I really like your Yandere team 141. Would it be too much to ask for headcannons of what type of Yandere Simon, Price, Soap and Alejandro would be? (separate) And how they would react to the reader reciprocating their feelings?

That’s not too much at all! I hope this is what you’re looking for.

The Stalker:

•Ghost likes to lay low when it comes to these types of things.

•You definitely wouldn’t see it coming, especially if you don’t pick up signals easily.

•Ghost is the type of Yandere to rummage through your belongings while you’re out and about. He wants to get to know you without directly asking.

•If you were to subtly flirt with him or show any kind of interest in him your chances of getting kidnapped have drastically decreased.

•If ghost was drunk enough he would confess. That being said, I think he has a high tolerance for alcohol. It’ll take him a while to actually get drunk enough to tell you.

•On the event that he does somehow confess his feelings, don’t expect it to be a big thing. He might just look at you and say something along the lines of “Let me take you out to dinner.”

•If you agree to be his without any pushback then great! You now have an overprotective guard dog that will scare off any man that tries to approach you. •Ghost dosn’t like to share, he’ll keep tabs on you with the help of soap or implanting trackers on your phone. He tells himself it’s for your safety but in reality he wants to know where you are at all times.

The clingy/touchy one:

•Soap likes to have his hands on you at all times.

•It dosn’t necessarily have to be sexual. Sometimes he’ll wrap an arm around you or place his hand on the small of your back. •He’s the type to get annoyed if you don’t pay him any attention. He’ll hide your phone from you so you have to come to him for help. •If you reject his advances towards you he’ll disappear for a while and make you drop your guard. When you’re finally settled his appear in the middle of the night and forcefully take you away. •But that scenario is for another time.

•Johnny is the type to buy you flowers, a stuffed animal (that has a camera in it) and chocolates before he asks you out. He’s visibly nervous when he hands you the ‘offerings’ and confesses his feelings to you. •If you accept his shoulder visibly loosen. A stupid grin will cross his face and for the rest of that night he’ll subtly touch you. Maybe he brushes past you and places his hands on your hips to get by. Or he’ll place a hand on your shoulder or thigh.

•Soap is a little more lenient than ghost when it comes to you going out without him. He won’t involve Ghost unless you’ve run away. He’ll probably install a tracker on your phone and send you on your way.

The gift giver:

•This one isn’t as sweet as it sounds

•Price likes to woo you with little gifts and trinkets. He’s the type to implant trackers and cameras into gifts like stuff animals or jewelry. He’ll even get you a phone that he secretly has access to.

•Price can be a bit manipulative at times. Especially if you have daddy issues. •Before he confessed to you Price was the first person to tell you that your new boy toy isn’t good for you. Price will dig up dirt on your recent date and completely trash your perception on them. Afterwards he’ll give you a gift to ‘make you feel better.’

•It you reciprocate his feelings Price is a bit taken by surprise. He had all of the necessities to kidnap you in his car. He was ready to take you by force, and he was expecting to. •With price, he’s the type to give you items that symbolize that you’re taken. For example a necklace that has a locket with his initials on it. Or a ring.

•Price wants you taken care of. Literally and figuratively. Do you want to go shopping? No worries he’ll give you his card. Are you sad that your friends ditched you? No worries, the next day their faces are in the news as ‘missing’. Are you hungry and don’t have the energy to cook? Lay down, he’ll run you a bath and order take out.

•It’s an absolute dream to be with price willingly and be naive to what he’s doing around you. But if you find out about his doings and don’t respond in the way he likes he’ll just have to resort back to plan A.

The manipulator:

• Alejandro can be sneaky sometimes

•He’s usually somewhat similar to price. Whatever you want he’ll buy for you.

•But on the off chance one of your friends notices the way he’s unhealthily protective of you or making you miss out on friendly gatherings this man will gaslight you

• If you go up to him complaining about his over protectiveness he’ll just blow you off

•”You know I’m doing this for you right?”

•After an argument that may or may not leave you in tears he’ll always say ‘I love you’. Not as a gesture to show how much he really love you. But as a manipulation tactic.

•If your gullible or naive you might have a tough time getting away from him

•Especially since he has his men stalk look after you when he can’t be there.

•If you reciprocate his feelings it’ll still be a toxic relationship

•He has more control over you now. He’ll slowly make you disconnect with family and friends so your life only revolves around your relationship with him

•If you notice early on you might be able to get out of it with the help of someone from the 141 team. But that’ll just land you in their arms instead

[pageofheartdj]

All jokes and horny aside(I do love horny and specific position only🙏 and them fighting over everything always ever and ooc fun scenarious) radioapple are so interesting to think about, about their dynamics, and the characters in general. So I will!

As they are in canon now, Lucifer did not care for Alastor plus the general disgust(and guilt) towards sinners. And then the song happened and Alastor became Lucifer's enemy number one xD If Alastor will drop it, Lucifer won't have a reason to hate on him, but initial negative imperssion is still there.

And Alastor, he is a mysterious guy. The abusive dad is still a theory, him being momma boy and therefore connecting with women better doesn't say anything about his dad situation. The Lilith's deal is also just a theory for now. So for me his immediate negative reaction comes from the same place as his annoyance at Carmilla disregarding him. He wants to be on the top, the most unknown, the most powerful one, the most scary one. He loves attention, he loves keeping everyone alert with his antics.

And he loves being in control, his plans going exactly the way he wants them, not that he can't improvise. He immediately tenses when he sees the sign welcoming dad, he knows. The King of Hell has the ultimate power, the ultimate influence, the ultimate importance. Alastor does not mind someone being more than him in something like he is politely neutral with Zestial. But the hotel carries importance for Alastor's plans so he feels threatened. Before with Charlie's daddy issues I guess he did not expect to see him anytime soon. But here he is, threatening to pull Charlie from his influence, from her needing his powers.

But then we see him being completely chill and not antagonistic at all. One of the reasons I think is that he let his stim out, for a reason being restricted in his activities, the deals he can make, the souls he can take, the kills. And because Charlie needed Lucifer to arrange a meeting with Heaven, something that only Lucifer can do. And that's it. So he lets go for a bit.

Who knows what dynamic season 2 will bring, now that Lucifer stays at the hotel and Alastor took a hard blow at his ego and reputation.

In the wiki it is stated Alastor dislikes people who are like him, but likes people who are more like him, but who knows where is this line. He also said to like Willy Wonka character for being an entertainer and a dick. And Lucifer was told to be like that character. For now Lucifer is a depressed sad baby, but we saw how he can be when he is fucking with others. Alastor likes fun, no matter how this fun is done. Potentially he can enjoy Lucifer's presence. Not to mention, he respects power, at least when the whatever deal with Alastor is done, potentially.

Don't know how prevalent this is now, but both seem to enjoy collecting certain things, like ducks and those firby toys. Both were drawn to dance-vibe with each other.

Speaking of, both love music and play instruments, they can totally jam with each other, making their own little concerts.

Lucifer's idea of sinners will be definetely challenged with Alastor. It's one thing to meet a nice sinner and think 'ah they are not like everyone else'. But it's a completely different thing when this sinner is exactly what you hate about them, the maniac who loves violence. And then you have to come to terms that even THEY can become better, can have something to them. Lucifer drowned himself in guilt and shame, it would be nice to get a bit in touch with people in Hell. Because it seems like he stays away from most things sinners bring with themselves.

Alastor was told to like theatres, so it would be nice for them to go together, to try and see something good from humanity even in Hell. Something that can still keep not being corrupted. And humans creativity and artistism can definetely spark more hope back to Lucifer.

And I think Lucifer would appreciate someone who treats him as equal, it doesn't look like he cares much about being a King, so having someone who will not shy away at punching first can be good.

Lucifer's main support of course would be Charlie(and hopefully hotel crew), but having someone who he can rely to get things actually done is pleasant. He is a King of Hell but he doesn't often act like one, he surely will benefit from someone who can act appropriately spooky. (He can get scary, but I think he needs to get MAD mad for this side of him to appear and at that point you better have Charlie around to calm him down)

And they have to keep the beef part of their interactions, it's just fun to have someone you can freely argue with with no hard feelings afterwards, just a battle of words, their interests don't always aligning. And it's fun to mindlessly banter about them. Like their sweet and bitter food preference, or cooking techniques, etc. Small irrelevant things, or maybe even some clash of ideals, but it is oh so fun to let yourself go lose and not hold back.

It would be nice for them to develop mutual respect and learn to care about each other's boundaries, be it the painful personal history, or choices of leading the relationship.

Yes, the aroace situation. Start with simple, I do not believe Lucifer is straight(nor NT xD) and he is perfectly sex-positive(he started with no experience and no shame either xD). He is more on a demi spectrum for me, getting excitedly horny only with close people(one-times can happen, it's a grey(literally) area). And Alastor... he is touch-aversed until you are close, then the touching is required(both gentle and playful and rough, depending if he wants to sooth himself or get energised or let the stim out). The same with the bed situation. He gets attracted long after all the other bonds are formed. He is sex-indifferent, never wanted with anyone so never went there. He is perfectly content with himself. And when it starts, yet again, depending on what it feels like in the moment.(cannibalism was not the only thing he grew to like in Hell(¬‿¬))

[aoioozora]

Valentine

Content: Elias Walker x Daughter! Reader, good ol' daddy-daughter fluff, all wholesome Word count: 2.7k Note: People with daddy issues are gonna love this (I hope) lol. Enjoy!

Elias thought that having two boys was enough children but when Mama Walker wanted to have one more, he thought "well, why not make my wife happy?" and so they tried again.

Nine months later in the delivery room, the nurse announced gleefully that Mama Walker had given birth to a girl.

A girl!

Elias was pleasantly surprised. He thought he'd have another boy, but a girl... His mind was buzzing when the nurse brought the swaddled baby to him. He took the child in his arms, carefully holding her just like he did his two little boys who came before her. But holding her was different. It was a girl. A sweet little angel. He stared at the newborn with awe. A girl. He'd never considered what having a girl would be like. He was a guy's guy, rough and tough officer in the military. But now, he was face to face with a little girl; her tiny little face and her even tinier hands and feet, and her wail signifying life. His heart melted.

Mama Walker, in the hospital bed, wished she would have taken a photo of the sight.

He'd keep looking at his little baby girl every day from her first sight to her first steps to her first words. He doted on her like a mother hen, beaming at Mama Walker and their two sons at every milestone. Being a girl dad, he loved it more than he expected.

Watching you grow up was bittersweet. You'd cry about mean boys and girls in your class, and then worry about pimples and period stains and cramps, about your grades, about crushes that didn't like you back. It was a rollercoaster of emotions raising a little girl to become a young woman.

But the most painful thing for him to see was you sad or crying.

Valentine's day had come and both your elder brothers had left the house to go on dates with their girlfriends, leaving you at home lonely and sad. It was a huge blow to your esteem that no boy ever looked your way, and so you sat in your room, sulking and playing video games to distract yourself.

Elias had just walked out of your room after checking on you and he sighed heavily as he stepped downstairs, thinking of what he could do to cheer you up. He saw Mama Walker in the kitchen, taking care of some dishes. Pursing his lips, he called out,

"Honey, I'm going to the store for a bit. You want anything?"

Mama gave him a small list of things and he set out.

Not too long later, while you were now reading a romance novel in bed throwing yourself a pity-party, there was a knock on your door.

"Come in," you called out unenthusiastically.

"Open the door for me, will you?" came your dad's voice.

You lazily hauled yourself off your bed and opened the door. "What's up-"

Your words stopped in their tracks when you saw your dad right in front of you, suited up, his grey hair neatly combed, and holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He looked a little embarrassed, but determined.

"You wanna go on a date with me?" he asked, grinning widely.

Your jaw laxed as you stared at him. "What...?"

"It's Valentine's day," he replied, standing up straight and resisting the urge to cross his arms and shift his weight on one leg to hit the dad pose, "I want to take you out."

A smile broke your tired, sullen face. "Take me out?" you asked teasingly, poking his shoulder, "You're not talking about those training sessions where you take us out, are you?"

"No, no, not at all," he shook his head, chuckling. He was about to order you to get dressed but he cleared his throat and instead asked as he held the bouquet out to you, "So, what will it be? Do you want to go on a date with me?"

You accepted the flowers with an emphatic, "Yes!"

Elias headed downstairs to wait for you while you got dressed in your best outfit. He whispered to Mama that the plan had worked and she couldn't help but give her husband a big fat kiss for being the sweetest.

When you finally came downstairs, your mother gushed at how beautiful you looked. Elias stood up from the couch where he was seated, watching you descend; he was almost transported back to the 90s when he was dating your mother, for you looked so much like her.

"Dad?" you called, wondering why he looked so dazed.

He blinked, snapping back to reality. "Oh, sorry," he inhaled, smiling, "I was just thinking of how much you look like your mother," he explained, fondly looking at his wife, who smiled back at him. He turned back to you and stepped closer, held your face in his calloused hands and gave you a loving, fatherly kiss to your forehead, before putting his hands on your shoulders and exclaiming, "You look wonderful."

You could only smile and grin. Mama watched fondly, finding it funny how he roughhoused his sons but treated his daughter like she was gold. He had a soft spot for his boys, but an even softer spot for his girl. 

After taking a photo of both of you, Mama saw you and Elias at the door. "Have fun, both of you!" she called, smiling as she watched her husband escort their daughter to the car and open the door for her.

"See you soon, mom!" you waved. Your dad also waved at her and then drove off.

"So, where are you taking me?" you asked, grinning excitedly.

"Sit tight, darling. You'll see," he chuckled at your enthusiasm. "Consider this a date, but also consider this an example of what you should look for in a good man, do you understand?"

You nodded. He smiled at you and then turned to the road, sighing. "You're growing so fast..." he said in a tone that was bittersweet.

"Daaaad," you chide him playfully, "Come on, we're out here to have a good time, not a sad time."

He let out another chuckle. "Sorry, I just..." he looked at you again and pinched your cheek lightly, "You'll know when you're a parent yourself."

You rolled your eyes, smiling at how much he doted on you. Sitting back, you watched the lighted lamp posts fly past you and then glanced at your father, who was concentrating on the road. The brief silence was comfortable, and you felt so lucky to have a father like him. He had his shortcomings, but you knew he had your best interest in mind. And to see him go out of his way to take you out when he didn't have to just showed you how much he cared.

He soon pulled into a parking spot in front of a rather fancy looking restaurant. He stopped you from opening your door, and quickly got out of his seat to open it for you, just like a proper man should.

You smilingly got out and he held out his arm to you. You giggled as you slipped your hand into his arm. "You're going all out, aren't you?"

He nodded emphatically. "Of course. You must know how to identify a good man who will care for you," he began to lead the way to the restaurant, "And if he doesn't at least go out of his way to do little things like these, he's no good. Have some high standards."

You took mental note of his advice as he opened the door for you, gesturing you to enter first. It was wonderfully gratifying to you to experience this; you'd see him treat your mother the same way, and you longed for someone to do the same to you. Even if it was just your father for now, it made you beam as you entered.

Elias was relieved to see your change of mood. He led you to a table which he thought was the best ventilated, lighted, and had the best view of the outdoors, hoping it would make you happier. It did. You loved the window seats.

As both of you scoured through the menu, he said, "Get anything you like. Now, because I'm your dad, I'll buy you whatever you want from this menu, but remember, on an actual date with a guy who is paying for the meal, be considerate and never order the most expensive dish. Order something that would be reasonable." He paused, looking through the prices of the dishes, "Unless he's rich and insists on you getting something else." He gives you a playful wink.

You chuckled, nodding. After both of you had placed your orders, you sat back and asked, "Should the guy always pay for the meal on a date?"

He took a thoughtful sip from his glass of water. Letting out a sigh, he said, "Well, I was raised traditional, so I would say that the man should pay for the meal on a date, since he's the provider." He paused and crossed his arms pensively, "On my dates with your mother, I always paid, even if she insisted on paying sometimes. It didn't feel right to me, because I wanted to show her I could take care of her.” He then looked at you. “But times are changing. I hear that women want to pay for dates too. That should be something you decide with your future partner.”

Your meals soon came as the conversation continued over them. Your dad thoroughly enjoyed his medium-rare steak, veggies, and mashed potatoes, approvingly nodding and humming. When he saw you slowly getting through your meal, he asked, 

“Too much?”

You shook your head. 

“Another piece of advice,” he said, smiling widely, “choose a man who can finish your meal for you when you're full.”

You snorted. “Is that why mom married you?” 

He laughed. “Of course! Your mother has always been conscious about wasting food, so I reassured her by eating whatever she couldn’t eat. And besides, being in the army is a lot of work, so you need a lot of food anyway.”

After the meal and a lovely dessert, both of you headed out, arm in arm again. When he asked you where you wanted to go next, you told him that you wanted to go to the park.

“The park? Are you sure you don’t want to go to the mall and empty my wallet?” he asked teasingly as he strapped on his seatbelt.

You pouted at him and he laughed, remembering the same pout on you whenever he pulled your leg as a toddler. Nothing’s changed, he couldn’t help but think.

He drove you to the park. It was late in the evening, and there were only a few people lounging about and walking around within its confines, and so the two of you comfortably strolled around, enjoying the cool air. 

You made a beeline to the playground and situated yourself right on the swingset, looking at your dad with sparkling eyes, begging him to push you like he always did. 

“You’re a spoiled little brat, aren’t you?” he said with an affectionate scoff as he tramped on the sandy playground and stood behind you, grabbing the thick chains and pulling the swing back.

“That’s all your fault,” you answered with a cheeky smile.

He laughed. That was true. He doted on you and spoiled you rotten, all because you were the youngest and his little girl. He pushed you as hard as he could, and relished in your giggles as you swung high up in the air. 

He pushed again, smiling to himself. He was a Captain, commanded many soldiers with military strictness and nobody could move him; his word was law. But there were only two people in the world who had him all wrapped up around their little fingers: his wife and his daughter.

His mind turned him back to reality and he was still pushing you on the swing, and you were having the time of your life. He soon decided to ease up on the pushing, and then settled on the swing right next to yours, watching your swing lose momentum. 

“Thanks, dad,” you said with a grin, “That was fun!”

He smiled back fondly, watching you gently rocking yourself on the swing once it had slowed down completely. There was a moment of comfortable silence between both of you, until you looked up at him, taking in for a moment how weathered he looked under the harsh white lights of the park, reminding you of how long he’s lived.

“Dad?” you called.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think it’s weird that a grown girl like me still wants to play on the swings?” 

He chuckled. Grown girl. You were a teenager, still a little child to him. But he couldn’t deny that you were growing. It would only be a matter of a couple years before you became a young woman ready to tackle the world. He shifted slightly in his seat.

“I guess some people who are no fun would think it’s childish,” he answered, “But I don’t think so. I think it’s good to have and retain some childlikeness even as you grow up…”

His voice trailed off for a moment to think, and you didn’t interrupt him, sensing that he had more to say. He smiled.

“I know as a teenager, you tend to care about what other people think. But trust me, the sooner you forget to do that, the better. You’ll live life so much better that way.” 

“That feels so hard to do,” you shrugged, “It’s like… I feel so inferior because I’m not like the others… and even more so now that nobody asked me out on a date for Valentine’s day.” Your hands gripped the chains of the swing slightly, “Maybe the boys think I’m too childish, I don’t know.” 

He sighed and gently swung himself, using his feet to push against the ground. “The thing about teenagers, darling,” he began, “a lot of them care about appearing grown and mature, which is expected- they’re growing up, obviously. But what’s not obvious to them is that they’re still children. They will have some childish beliefs that they will eventually wean off.

“Remember, a real guy who truly loves you will not shame you for loving these “childish” things. Any man with real sense will understand that there’s a reason why you love the things you love, so don’t settle for less.

“And besides, I’d rather you grow up a little more before you date. I would not stand to see you dating any of these little, immature boys who would break your heart,” he huffed.

You playfully pouted. “You’re no fun, dad.”

He scoffed. “No fun because I’m looking out for you?”

Both of you shared a laugh, and you couldn’t help but feel so happy that you could safely confide in him and playfully jab at him without being judged or scolded. After a little more conversation, your dad looked at his watch. He slapped his knees and got off the swing with a grunt.

“Right then, I should take you back home before your curfew,” he said, holding out his hand to you, “Because a real man gets you back home at a reasonable hour without worrying your parents.” 

You chuckled, taking his hand. “You’re a real man.”

“That’s why your mom chose me,” he bragged, “Take notes.”

It made you giggle, thinking of how your mom would sometimes gush about her husband to you and your brothers, making the three of you roll your eyes and laugh. The years passing only made them love each other more and more, and you could not have asked for better parents than them. 

Arm in arm once again, he escorted you to the parking lot. As he got in the car after you and strapped on the seatbelt, he asked,

“How about we make this a tradition until you get yourself a boyfriend?”

You smiled widely. “Sure.” Your eyes lingered appreciatively on your father and you said, feeling a surge of affection for him, “I love you, dad.”

He beamed, a bright smile gracing his weathered face. Those words made all the effort and toil he took to raising you worth it. He ruffled your hair. 

“Love you too, kiddo.”

[megantronusprime]

y'all ever think about the 10 years engie spent as a roughneck in the oilpatch? because I do.

Like, do you think he was trying to break away from the family legacy of becoming a mercenary? that maybe that boy in the picture, trying his father's goggles wanted nothing more than to be an engineer just like his daddy - even had a natural knack for it too, said his dad, just like him and his father before him - and was too young to see clearly the toll it took on him and his family? do you think that, as he got older, he would begin to recognize the extremes his father and grandfather went to for their work, obsessing over it, even experimenting on their own bodies. do you think he came across his mother crying at the kitchen table late one night, unable to recognize the loving man she married who now never came home and obsessed over his work, and decided right then and there that he wasn't going to be that man to his family? that he was going to forge his own path - be his own man, and break free from the Conagher family curse?

so, maybe, at the age of 18, he began working as a roughneck in the oilfields of west Texas. It was hard manual labour, long days spent on drilling rigs with the Texas sun beating down on him, but it was good money, and though some of his coworkers were rough most of them were good enough guys and he along with most of 'em. and hey, sometimes maybe there were even on-the-spot practical problems to be solved - issues with the drill that in a fast-paced environment like that couldn't wait for a proper tech to come around and solve? and in those moments, engie would step in and fix the issue quickly, working without hesitation, like it was second nature to him. And maybe his coworkers would always remark upon his natural aptitude? ("you're in the wrong line of work, Dell.") Maybe he would shrug it off, say it weren't nothin' - just hung around his father a lot growin' up and learned a thing or two - but deep inside, he hoped for more of those opportunities to fix things, and maybe those little moments of on-the-spot fixes were the very things he looked forward to most. And maybe, even as he gained a reputation for being a mr. fix-it amongst his coworkers, given odd things outside of work to tinker on, it wasn't enough. maybe slowly, over the years, with each thing he worked on, the flames of his intellectual curiosity were stoked more and more, until eventually, he went back home and visited his mom, during his week off. And, late one night, against his better judgement, he went into his father's workshop - untouched, everything covered in a layer of dust (he hadn't been home in years). he knew he shouldn't. He could feel the gnawing at him, the voice demanding him to give in to his intellectual curiosity and follow in his father's footsteps getting louder. He had been trying to fight it, but he finally reached his breaking point and went into his father's blueprints. that was what tipped him over the edge. He spent the whole night, locked away in his father's workshop, poring over each design, his mind racing with ideas of how he could make it better. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed more. When the sun came back up again, Dell informed his mother that after 10 years, he was quitting his job and enrolling for university. and although he was certain that he would not become the same man his father and grandfather was, as sure as he would be an engineer, but do it differently and not succumb to the family curse. And although his mother smiled, ever gentle and encouraging of her son, coffee mug in hand, there was a sadness in her eyes. Because she knew that Dell always had the same tenacity and obsessive intellectual curiosity his father has. And if Dell was going to do this, there was no moderation. He was going to fling himself into it completely, lose sleep, lose focus of everything else. And she was right.

...

OR maybe he always knew he was going to be an engineer and was like, "well, I'm going to do a whole lot of schooling, so what's the best way to save up for tuition? oh yeah! work in the oilfield for a few years :)" lol

[jowrites]

Thank God for cats - Jake Sim DRABBLE

Part 1

IDOL!JAKE! X F!READER FATHER!JAKE X MOTHER!READER!

In which Jake's daughter wants to hear the story how her parents met and fell in love for the 100th time...

TW: Mental health issues, depression mentioned, mentions of killing self, angst, semi cheating, emotional cheating, sad boi Jake, jealousy, fluff, neaurodivergent reader, mentions of pet death, cursing, kissing, groping

Jake sat with his daughter on the floor in her room, finishing up play time before bed. She had on her pajamas already and just had those few minutes before he had to put her to bed. He smiled down fondly at her as she handed him his items and held out her tiny palm to him.

“That will be $100 please!” She said and his eyes gaped.

“$100? For a banana and some eggs?” He said, gasping. “I don’t think that’s right, Miss.”

“The cashier is never wrong,” She said, folding her arms over her chest.

“Well, in this instance she is,” He said, folding his arms over his chest in a copy of her. “I feel scammed.”

“Fine. You can’t take the groceries then. Next time, make sure you have the money, Sir,” She said, huffing at him.

“And next time, try not to scam your customers!” He retorted back, sticking his tongue out. 

“Okay, time for bed,” YN came into the room then. “It’s daddy’s bedtime too.”

“Aww, can I stay up a little longer?” Their daughter pouted. 

“Nope. Into bed my little Layla,” He said lifting up off the ground, her giggles filling the air. He placed her in her small bed, tucking her in and getting her favorite stuffed animal, the white plush dog, and tucking it beside her.

“Goodnight, Layla. Sweet dreams, I love you!” YN said, leaning in and giving her a sweet butterfly kiss on the nose before getting up and walking out of the room.

“Daddy?” She said, “Tell me the story again about how you and mommy met.”

“Again?” He asked. “Okay, let’s get comfortable…”

He hopped into bed with her and got comfortable beside her, she nestled into his side, her little frame fitting perfectly in his arms. She hugged the plush to her little body as he kissed the top of her head.

“It all started on a late night walk…”

10 Years Before

Jake does not like to think of himself as an emotional man, he normally hides behind a mask and puts on the perfect smile and hopes everything he feels just goes away. For the most part, that always works for him, but why wasn’t it working this time? Jake couldn’t wait until it was late and he and the boys could be dropped off and he could rest his eyes. He was so exhausted, drained from the everyday schedules back to back and not having the time to even breathe. 

Ding

New message

Jake ignored it, placing his phone on the table beside him as he waited for the last two members to finish their side of things before they could all leave. 

“Is it Jiyoon?” Jay asked from his spot on the couch. Jake shrugged but he assumed it probably was. The last conversation he had with his girlfriend was not one he wanted to remember or one he wanted to even think about at that moment. It wasn’t a nice one, one where she threw curse words at him and reminded him just how useless he was. He simply walked away without much care. If she wanted to leave him, he wouldn’t blame her.

“You know, you won’t be able to ignore her forever, at least text her back,” Jay said, coming up and patting him on the shoulder. “Come on, time to go.”

Jake nodded, picking up his phone and walking behind Jay as the rest of the boys all followed suit. They all thanked the staff and began walking out to the vans to finally go home. Schedules these days were rough and Jake didn’t know how much longer he had before he would crack. He pushed those thoughts aside as he sat down in the van and closed his eyes, embracing the little moments of peace he had before he had to get back to reality.

Jake expected sleep to come to him the moment he laid down in bed but it never came. He kept thinking he was just a terrible person and he was being a terrible boyfriend and he hated it. He hated being like this. He read Jiyoon’s message and immediately felt guilty. She had come by and dropped off food for him and the boys and she told him to make sure he gets some rest because she knows how he can be. Even when they fight, she still cares about him and it drives him crazy. He sighed before getting up and throwing on a  hoodie and a hat, grabbing his mask and walking out the door. He needed some air.

When he was feeling like this, he always came to the Han river and it always seemed to cheer him up. He could always clear his mind and think better when he walked alongside it. It was way past 2 AM by now but that didn’t stop him from coming out and having this small moment of freedom. This small moment to himself. His shoulders were constantly feeling heavy and his feet walked with shackles as he marched alongside the river strip, he didn’t know why but he wanted to cry. He didn’t let himself though, he knew this would soon pass over and everything would be fine. 

He stopped in his tracks and in his view he saw a girl in the grass sobbing her eyes out. Concern filled his face, he looked around and saw nobody in sight, just her and his curiosity got the best of him because suddenly his tired feet were walking towards her. 

“Uhm, hello?” He asked from behind her. She still cried, not noticing his presence and he cleared his throat loudly. She didn’t budge. “Hello? Are you okay?”

He tapped her shoulder and she yelped, startled front he tapped and looked up at him. He jumped back from her loud screech and screamed in response to her getting startled. Her startle startled him. He stared at her with big eyes as she stood up, holding out a hand. 

“Please, I don’t have any money. Just let a girl cry in peace,” She said, and he quickly began shaking his head. 

“Oh…oh no! No, I just wanted to see if you’re okay?” He explained, and she sighed, her shoulders let loose.

“Thank God you’re not like a creep or anything,” She said. “I’m sad.”

“That makes two of us,” He said, chuckling at his small joke. She just stared at him. “I mean, are you okay?”

“No.” 

She went back and sat down, sniffling again to herself and Jake looked around not wanting to leave the stranger alone. She wasn’t from here, she was a foreigner and he wasn’t sure if he should leave her alone out here. Sometimes, especially for foreigners, it wasn’t too safe.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, taking a seat beside her.

“My cat died,” She said, just as she began to sob again and hug something to her chest. Jake noticed it was a small blanket. “T-this w-was his.”

Jake didn’t know what came over him, but watching the scene before him and seeing this stranger in such a vulnerable state without any worry of who would see her, brought his eyes to tears. He began to cry, trying to hide his own sniffles as he thought about his own pet, his dog Layla. The girl suddenly heard Jake beside her and she calmed down and looked at him.

“Why are you crying? He was my cat!” She cried out, huffing and sobbing.

“I’m crying because you’re crying!” He cried back.

And just like that, the two strangers sat beside each other and just cried over the death of a cat, together.

It was around 3 AM now when Jake walked out of the 7 Eleven with two hot teas in his hand. He offered one to the girl who sat on the bench waiting for him, she silently thanked him. Their eyes were puffy, noses were read, and together they sat there sniffling next to each other as if they’ve been friends for years. The blanket she had was wrapped over her shoulders and she held the cup between her two hands. Jake can get a better view of her face now, seeing her beauty and youth. He never felt so odd, crying together with a stranger over a cat he didn’t even know the name of. He knew the members would never let him live this down.

“What’s your name?” The girls asked, suddenly breaking him from his dreaded mind.

“Oh, I’m Jake,” he said, holding out a hand. She took it and nodded.

“I’m YN. Thank you for crying with me, Jake. Thanks for making sure I wasn’t alone during this time,” She said, tears welling up again and she quickly pushed them aside and gave him a small smile.

“You welcome,” he said, giving her a smile back. “What was your cat's name?”

“His name was Ophelia, but I called him Ophy for short,” She said. She took out her phone and showed him her lockscreen. The screen showed a beautiful gray tabby on the front, thick and looking at the camera as if posing.

“You named your cat Ophelia who was a boy?” He asked. “That’s interesting, I guess.”

“I thought he was a she when I first found him,” she said. “He had some tiny balls.”

Jake let out a laugh at that. His laughter brought laughter upon her and together the two were just laughing together.

“Man, people will think we’re insane,” he said.

“Who cares what people think? To be honest, my insanity normally keeps people away and they run. Don’t know why you stuck around and mother towards me tonight,” She said. 

“You were literally crying, I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said.

“And I appreciate that. Well, I don’t want to waste more of your time,” She said, standing from her spot. “Thanks for keeping me company, Jake. Uhm…yeah.”

She suddenly turned around and started walking away, leaving Jake to just stare after her. He didn’t know why or what compelled him to do this, but as she was about to round the corner he chased after her. Once he caught up to her she noticed he was behind her and turned around. She lifted an eyebrow at him as he caught his breath, she just looked at him confused.

“C-can I have your number?”

******************

Present time

Jake heard giggles from beside him, looking down and seeing Layla giggling to herself.

“Why are you laughing?” He asked.

“Because you and mommy were crying together when you first met,” she said. “That’s kind of lame, daddy.”

“Wow, after everything I do and I’m still so lame to you,” Jake said, sighing.

“You’re lame but also really brave for getting her number then, and Thank God you got her number,” Layla said.

“Hm? Why?” he asked her.

“Because if you didn’t you might have never seen her again, duh! And then I would never be here,” she said, matter of factly.

“You know, you might be right. But Mommy is my soulmate, Layla, and soulmates always find each other…Let’s continue…so that’s how Mommy and Daddy became friends…”

**********************

Past

Ding

New message

Ding

New message

YN: I didn’t know you were an idol!

YN: 2 weeks and you failed to leave out that information. Very rude.

Jake: Is that a problem?

YN: No lol Just please tell me nobody knows. Kpoppies are crazy and I’m too young to die.

Jake: Don’t worry lol nobody will find out we’re friends

YN: Gucci hehe

Jake was about to type his reply when their manager walked into the room and began to talk to them over the upcoming schedules for the weeks to come. Normally company meetings didn’t last this long but things have been going on in the company and they’ve been coming in late. They were preparing for an upcoming comeback on top of touring still. Things were moving so fast and Jake could not slow down even if he wanted to. On top of things, things with his girlfriend seemed to be in the same state. They were working things out, but Jake couldn’t help but feel like he was wasting her time. They never saw each other which was the root of most of their problems, him not prioritizing her enough, but it’s not like he could just drop everything and go running to her every moment she wanted. She knew what she signed up for the moment they started going out.

“Alright boys, good work! We’re going to give you guys the next 3 days off before schedules start back up,” their manager spoke up, eliciting the room with cheers from the boys. Finally, some rest.

“As of now, you’re on a 3 day vacation. No funny business and let me know your exact whereabouts. Got it?”

********

Jake found himself outside the cat cafe covered up and hands in his pockets. YN gave him the time he could come by when she was closing up shop and he could come see the cats if he wanted. He mostly wanted to see her again, something about her just drew him in and he felt like he could be himself for once. Since they've exchanged numbers and started texting, he was intrigued by the way her mind worked. She always seemed to say outside of the box things and he appreciated that kind of thinking. She also never judged him and he quickly became comfortable enough around her. 

“Are you going to stand out here and be a weirdo or are you going to come in?” YN said, snapping him from his daze as she approached him. “Hey, if you prefer to see the cats from outside that’s fine, you’ll be missing out on George though. He’s really the best manager.”

Jake chuckled before following her inside. She quickly flipped the sign and locked the door so nobody would come running in and disrupt Jake’s peace if they recognized him. Jake took in the place, the cute beige interior, the colors of neutrals and browns. It was very cozy. Cats were spread out everywhere, most of them asleep and some of them coming up to him right away and rubbing up on his legs. He knelt down and began petting their fur, the two cats who greeted him.

“That’s Yellow Mustard and Avocado Toast,” YN said, walking by and wiping some of the tables in the process. She was still closing up the cafe.

“You have a very strange way of naming things,” he said.

“I’m really not that creative, Yellow Mustard got mustard on him one time and we can’t sell Avocado toast anymore because of him,” YN explained, pointing to each respective cat.

“Uh, do I want to know?” He asked.

“Not really,” She replied.

Some other cats jumped down from  their spots and came over to Jake. He quietly sat on the floor, enjoying the cat’s company. He noticed then some of the cats had collars on them with name tags. He noticed ‘Luke, I am your father’ on one, ‘Lana Del Gay’ on another and some other weird wacky ones that brought laughter out of him.

“Who picks the names?” Jake asked.

“We all do, sometimes customers. It depends,” YN said, shrugging as she went back to the counter to finish closing up. “Oh, do you want anything to drink?”

“Naww, I was thinking we can go grab something after,” Jake suggested and YN nodded.

“Sounds good. Also, how did things go with your girlfriend? Did you talk to her?” She asked.

“The same, we didn’t fight but we didn’t make any progress either,” He said, sighing and standing up and coming to her. “It just doesn’t feel like it’s worth it anymore.”

“Do you still like her?” YN asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, and he was being honest. “I just feel like I’m wasting her time and she is just holding onto something I feel like isn’t there anymore.”

“Jake, if that’s the case you need to end it with her. It's not good to drag it out like this. That’s not fair to her or you,” She explained, before letting out a gasp and rushing off to somewhere in the back. “I forgot to turn off the sink back here, shit! You were saying?”

“I didn’t say anything, will George be mad?” Jake asked as he watched her finish up.

“I don’t know, ask him yourself,” She said, nodding to the side where Jake saw a black cat in a tie.

“That’s George?” He asked. “I thought he was your manager?”

“He is,” she said. “He keeps me in check.”

“YN, that’s a cat,” he said.

“Your point? Ain’t that right George, you run the place,” She said, walking to the cat and giving him some pets. “Ha, Thank God for cats, am I right?”

********

Jake and YN sat on the floor in her small apartment, 2 bottles of soju had already been opened and down and they were working on their 3rd. They picked up some food on their way out of the cafe and YN offered to go somewhere quiet which Jake quickly accepted. Her place was extremely cozy, and she had another cat who was white laying on the small sofa behind them. Jake was absentmindedly rubbing the cat's fur which the cat easily felt happy and purred to. The two unlikely friends ate fried chicken and laughed together, talking about their lives and embarrassing things that happened. It was just so easy talking to her.

“I haven’t felt this alive in a while,” Jake admitted, his cheeks flushed from the soju, and he felt like just talking. 

“Why’s that?” She asked, taking a bite of her chicken. “Do you want to kill yourself?”

“Jesus, YN,” Jake said, stunned by her straightforwardness. 

“What? Usually when people say things like that they want to die,” She said, her shoulder shrugging. “I’ve been there too, I understand.”

“No, I am not going to kill myself,” he clarified. “But I do feel like I’m drowning.”

“Well, good,” Yn said.

“What’s good?” He asked.

“Good that you don’t want to take your life,” YN said. “We just became friends and I would be sad over your death too. I already lost a friend.”

Jake understood her, remembering how she just lost her cat which he learned was everything to her. How this cat brought her so much joy and comfort as she was in a  foreign Country away from home. YN came here for a job that quickly fell through, and the night she quit that job she found her cat Ophy. He had been with her through all her hard times here, and even led her to her current job at the cat cafe. 

“And if you feel like you’re drowning, just remember we float,” YN said. “Whatever you’re going through, you’ll get through it. And if you need a hand don’t worry, Roger and I will extend our hands so you don’t sink. It’s not fun going through things alone. Talk to someone, cry it out..crying always makes me feel better so don’t be afraid to cry. Embrace it like you did the night we met.”

“Embrace it, okay. I’ll embrace it more since you told me to,” Jake said, smiling at her.

“It’s okay to not be okay, you know? We’re all human,” YN said. “Just don’t marinate in it, just let it out.”

“You have a very odd way with words, but it’s making me feel better,” Jake said. 

“We’re all just a bunch of meat of all sorts of different flavors! Only difference is we shouldn’t marinate in things, that’d be cannibalism,” YN said and Jake let out a big laugh.

“What are you even saying? And why do I understand it? Jake said.

“I’m right!” YN defended. “I’m also drunk.”

*******

Jake had laughed so much since that night. He could feel himself slowly coming back to life. He felt more awake and more excited during the day. Anytime he was tired or disappointed in something, or a performance YN was right there cheering him on and being honest with him. She was such a great listener and anytime he had stress he would take her advice and his emotions became more clear instead of so stagnant and everywhere. His black and white world was becoming full of color, and the ice in his chest was starting to melt away and he could finally breathe. 

There was one thing he knew he had to take care of: Jiyoon.

YN was very clear on her boundaries with him, keeping their friendship and never letting him cross a boundary she knew he’d regret. She knew he wasn’t a cheater and she would not let him become one. Friendzoning Jake was how she constantly set boundaries and if he ever tried to break through new barriers she would shut him down. He was in an unhappy relationship and she was aware, but she was not going to be this outlet for him to come to when he was lonely. He had to take care of that himself.

Jake didn’t like the term ‘breaking up with you’, he honestly hated it even if it was coming from him. He felt worse, but he knew he had to do this. This was for him. Throughout these months he realized he should have done this a long time ago. This had nothing to do with his newfound friendship with YN, he was checked out of the relationship long before he even met her. He spends more time talking with YN than with Jiyoon, and YN helped him come to his senses that he’d been checked out long before anything. He had feelings for YN but he still had yet to find her feelings for him. She did nothing but be careful and strictly be nothing more than just his friend. His very good friend and she helped him regulate his emotions more and come to a more emotional maturity level. He wished he didn’t need a crazy cat lady to help him realize this, but it turned out that way.

“Oh? Jake,” Jiyoon said, as she opened her door. 

“I came to see you,” Jake said, Jiyoon stepped aside and let him come into her apartment. The place always looked the same, nothing new to him. He didn’t move from the doorway though, and Jiyoon knew he didn’t plan to stay.

“You look good, so much healthier,” Jiyoon said, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.

“I’ve been doing better. What about you? You cut your hair,” He said, noticing how her long hair was no longer long and now cut to her shoulders.

“Ah, it was bothering me. I don’t know if you remember when I texted you the photo,” Jiyoon said, looking away from him. He didn’t remember and that just made him feel more awful. 

“I’ve been-”

“Really busy, I know. Your company just doesn’t give you a break, does it?” She cut him off. 

“Jiyoon, I’m really sorry,” he said. “Really, really fucking sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, Jake. I understand. This is what I signed up for when I started dating you, remember?” Jiyoon stepped forward trying to embrace Jake, but he only stepped back causing a frown to form on her face.

“No, it’s not okay, Jiyoon. I think we’ve both known for a while,” Jake said, and when he looked into her eyes he could see the tears in her eyes and he could hear her heart shatter. “We have to end this so we’re no longer suffering anymore.”

“Jake, we can work this out, please,” Jiyoon said, crying and gripping the material of his shirt.

“Jiyoon, I don’t want to. I’m no longer in this relationship emotionally, mentally, physically even…and you don’t deserve that. I’ve been wasting your time and you deserve better, I’m sorry,” He said, taking her hands in his and squeezing them one last time before dropping them to her sides gently. “Thank you for all the wonderful memories. You’re such a beautiful person inside and out, I hope whoever comes along treats you better. Be well, okay?”

Jake kissed the top of her head before opening the door and walking out. He knew if he looked back he’d be shattered even more. This is not what he thought would ever happen between them, but it did and he only has himself to blame. He let a few tears fall from his eyes before gathering himself up and putting on his hat and mask, covering himself up and walking out into the night. As he turned the corner he dropped down to the floor and sat there comforting himself. He brought his knees to his chest as he let out a few breaths. It was over, it was done. Suddenly, he felt something rubbing up on his leg and when he lifted his head he saw a gray tabby, rubbing up on his side and comforting him. He smiled and began to pet the cat, letting the cat come up on his lap and give his hands some licks.

“Thank God for cats.”

To be continued...

[hazbinhotelexpansion]

Oh I was BORN to answer your request, prepare for all of my random discord quotes

Are you climbing the inside of the elevator??? ..........maybe

"I want them Zoloft boys"

"ok I think the phone has been in the microwave long enough"

She could run a kingdom, people would listen to her, she's very loud!

I'll sop your wet! ... I'll wet your sop? No, neither of those sound right, joke canceled, goodbye

You know me I love dead people

You want me to go straight to bed? Why not gay to bed???

"this tastes like battery acid, but if battery acid was tasty"

Gusty showers sounds like a terrible name for a retirement community

What happens if you have nipple pasties that just look like nipples? "Then you need nipple pasties for your nipple pasties" Nipple-pasty-ception "Get a bra that looks like boobs and put nipple pasties on that"

Yeah I'm like canonically allergic to chihuahuas in specific

"Jesus told a tree to off itself and then he threw a table"

"am I a Honda or a person?"

"NOW GIVE ME YOUR FACE AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS"

Gasp! Someone cheesed him!

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY LITTLE BOY INTO LEMONADE

"using my telekinesis to lift my daughter out of her crib just in time for her father to see her levitating randomly"

"why are we talking about bacon now I thought we were talking about your daddy issues"

I do not have a gender, I have a question

oh pants stopped happening like 30 minutes ago

just calling me Charizard is unhelpful team

I AM THE PICASSO OF MEMES

Ope there goes angel climbing into the China closet again

EVIL JELLO MY NEW GENDER

"I have a *weird* problem, are you ready to hear about my *weird* problem" "always" "my brownies are too oily"

"Before I can own a pigeon, I need to get my bird permit" Your..... Birdmit

It doesn't have to be a bunch of sad white women drinking wine sitting in a rented conference room with a bunch of tables all done up in tablecloths with droopy streamers and half floating balloons

he can be a soft boi *and* a crackhead!!!

"they're Jean shoes" YOU GOT THE FUCKIN JHOES???

Please refrain from happy biting the cannibal

WOOHOO KEVIN GOT BOOPS

Two pigeons, chilling on the sidewalk, five feet apart cause they're not gay

"you're watching a weiner schnitzel be made? Isn't that a dog?"

"she wouldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo"

About husk: probably grumpy enough to overpower catnip by the sheer force of cynicism

About niffty being drunk: she's a spastic caffeinated squirrel in traffic that's just taken a nice long inhale of, uh, snow

no actually I think you're right! I like my impulsive, self destructive behaviors

don't turn yourself into one of those cooked children in the backseat you're always hearing about, Pls don't cook yourself over your trauma

YEAH WE HAVE CHILD LABOR ON THIS BUS!

Mickey mouse voice: you can't spell drunk driving without U and I!

He has the mcdonald's headset of infinite wisdom

*angrily* IM GONNA TURN YOU INTO TREE FOOD

Sudden vox in my head: and now introducing, this.... Fuckin thing..... *gestures to cursed cat alastor on a small runway behind him*

HOPE THESE HELP YOU GUYS IM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE NEW CONTENT!

Friend, I am

CRYING

[milesdickpic]

His Little Girl | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader P. 72

Click here to see the master list

Hi, babes! Another chapter for you all! I hope you are all enjoying the story so far! I just want to thank everyone who reads and leaves feedback. I love you all so much! 💕 Happy reading and enjoy! ❤️

A/n: Bradley and Phoenix are about to leave for their deployment together, but this time Phantom joins. How will this small detachment on the boat go for the three of them? 👨🏻‍✈️👩🏻‍✈️

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, Major Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Fighting, Violence, Sadness, but still some love 🥺

Please don't take my work, I will find you. 

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Bradley’s POV

The next morning, Phoenix and I were up early. We had loaded our duffles and uniforms into Hangman’s truck. After we went to go meet with Phantom at his house for morning coffee. We went over a couple of things that needed to be done and discussed new route changes. 

Phantom sighed, “It looks like this week's going to be a little different. There will be many more heads going out on the boat. So instead of me being on land. I will be joining both of you later. I’ll be on the boat these next two weeks as well.”

Phoenix looked at Phantom with furrowed brows, “Is there an issue, sir? Why are there so many of us being loaded all of a sudden?”

Phantom sighed, “There’s been more bandit spottings near the area being watched. We aren’t sure why they are there, but they have been. No threats yet. We did have one lock tone on one of our guys last week.” He looked at me. “Isn’t that right Bradshaw?”

I nodded, “Yes sir.” I gulped. “Terrified the shit out of him, but the enemy was just trying to have us evade.” 

Phoenix looked at me upset, “You didn’t mention that to us, Rooster.”

I gulped, “I didn’t want to cause a panic for my heavily pregnant wife. It was for a brief minute. He stood his ground. We were fine.”

Phoenix sighed and nodded as she rubbed my shoulder. 

After coffee Phoenix and I went back to the house. Hangman was up making breakfast for everyone.

I patted Hangman on the back, “Hey thanks, man.” 

“No problem, Rooster.” Hangman chuckled as he flipped some eggs.

“The girls still in bed?” I looked up to the stairs. 

Hangman pointed to the stairs with the spatula, “Leia is still sleeping, but I think y/n is up getting ready in the room.” 

I nodded and ran up stairs. I opened the door and you were sitting at the edge of the bed rubbing your belly and singing. Leia was with you and she had her hands on your belly. I watched on quietly as you giggled and sang My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. Your voice was so soft. I knocked on the door frame and you looked up. “Hi, baby.” I smiled. 

You laughed and gestured for me to come over, “Come here, the boys really like Celine Dion, babe. I was getting up to get ready to shower and was singing one of her songs and they started kicking like crazy and haven’t stopped.” You laughed as you rubbed your belly. 

“Do you wanna feel them, daddy?” Leia giggled as she felt her brother’s kicks. 

I came to kneel in front of you. You grabbed my hands and placed them on either side of your stomach. I felt their little kicks under my palms, “Oh my gosh….” I smiled. “The boys must love how your voice sounds when you sing, baby.” I chuckled and kissed your belly. “Sweetheart, this is amazing.” I looked up at you and kissed you. Leia dismissed herself to go help Hangman with breakfast.

“They love to fight in there, maybe it’s just them fighting.” You sighed. “I’m going to go and take a shower. I need one.” 

I rubbed your belly, “Need some help, baby?” I grabbed your hands and kissed them.

You sighed, “I shouldn’t, but after what happened back in San Diego… help would be nice, Bradley.” You cupped my cheek.

“I would love to help you, honey. I need to shower anyways.” I smiled at you.

You threw your head back a little bit and opened your eyes wide, “Oh! You meant shower with me!” You started to laugh.

I palmed my face, “Sweetheart, what did you think I meant? Of course shower with you.” 

“Are we all going to fit in the shower?” You raised your brow at me. 

 I rolled my eyes, “We will, baby.” I kissed your hands, “Let’s go.”

I ran the shower as I helped you undress. I gave you kisses all over as I took your clothes off. You giggled as my mustache tickled you. “You are so beautiful, baby. Look at you, you’re glowing.” I smiled and rubbed your arms as I looked at you.

You scoffed and shook your head, “Bradley, I am so swollen. I feel like an advertisement blimp.” You started to laugh as you rubbed your belly.

“Advertisement for a ‘hot ass wife.’” I kissed your lips and helped you into the shower. I removed my clothes and joined you. I closed the curtain and watched as you wet your hair and body in the shower stream. 

We switched places and I pulled your back against me. I let the water run over the both of us. I didn’t want you to be cold. I placed my hands under your belly and lifted it to relieve some of the weight. You sighed in relief and leaned back into me.

“Feel better, sweetheart?” I kissed your head.

“That feels amazing. My back has been hurting so much. Thank you.” You relaxed into me and placed your hands on mine. “Please never let go.” You chuckled.

I kissed you again. “I’ll hold on as long as you want me to, baby.”

We continued our shower after a couple of more minutes of me holding your belly. I helped you wash your hair and your body. I didn’t want you to do anything. I knew the slightest movement was a lot of work for you, so I made sure to do everything. When we got out of the shower, I brushed your hair, applied all your moisturizers, and helped you put your clothes on. I kissed your forehead, “Now you’re ready for the day, baby.” I was still in my towel.

You looked at me sadly, “Thank you for doing this for me.” You placed your hand on my cheek, “I’m really lucky. Aren’t I?” You chuckled.

I shook my head in your hand, “No I’m the lucky one. I have you, baby.” I kissed you one more time before I went and threw my uniform on. I came back and you were still sitting at the tub. You were waiting for me as I finished. I fixed my hair and my mustache and looked at you. You came over and buttoned up my coat. 

“My Lieutenant Commander.” You ran your hand over my new pins, “You look good, Bradley.” 

I grabbed both your hands and placed them over my shoulders, I placed my hands on your hips. “Care to dance with me, baby?”

You chuckled, “I am having Deja Vu. Are we dancing to silence?” You smirked.

I grabbed my phone from the sinks countertop. I played You Are The Reason by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis. “How about now?” I chuckled and raised my brow at you.

We started to sway slowly to the music. You looked up at me with so much love in your eyes. “You are the man of my dreams, Bradley.”

I placed my forehead to yours, “I am yours, forever, sweetheart. My heart belongs to you.” 

I’d spend every hour of everyday keeping you safe…

You closed your eyes as we swayed together. I could feel your heartbeat, it was going at the same pace as mine. Your touch was so gentle. I could feel a couple of kicks here and there from our boys on my lower abdomen. When they’d kick, I would place my hand where they kicked. “Daddy’s here boys. I love you.”

You looked up at me and caressed my cheek, “Promise me you’ll do your best and come home safely.”

I smiled and brought your hand to my lips. I placed a delicate kiss on the back of your hand, “I will always come home to you, honey. I am always with you. I’ll always be in your heart, in our daughter, our boys. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” 

You smiled, “I love you, Bradley, always.” You teared up and kissed me.

“And I love you, y/n, forever.” 

I’d climb every mountain… And swim every ocean… Just to be with you… And fix what I’ve broken… ‘Cause I need you to see… That you are the reason.

———-

After we all finished eating and cleaning up the kitchen, it was time for Phoenix and me to go. We were all downstairs. Phoenix hugged and kissed Leia and Gunner repeatedly as she said goodbye. 

“Aunt Nat, be safe.” Leia played with her wings on her whites. 

Phoenix pinched her cheeks, “I will my Leia girl.” She kissed her cheek hard, “I promise to keep your daddy safe while we are gone.” 

Leia nodded and hugged Phoenix tight, “Thank you Aunt Nat. I love you.”

She hugged Leia tight, “I love you, my Leia girl.” She continued to give Gunner pets with Leia before she came over to say bye to you. 

She gave you a big hug and pointed to your belly, “You boys better remain calm in there until we get back!” She laughed and gave you another hug. “I’ll take care of him, y/n. I promise.” 

You hugged her tight, “I know you will, Phoenix. You always have. Thank you so much.” 

I said my goodbyes to Leia. “I’ll see you soon, baby girl. It’ll go by quick and then we have 3 whole months to spend together.” I patted her cheek. 

She nodded and smiled into my palm. “You’re gonna do great Daddy. You always do. Take care of Aunt Nat. She’s going to take care of you.” 

I nodded, “Always baby. I love you so much, Leia Rey.” I pulled her in for a hug and kiss. I pulled away and poked her chest, “I am always here with you.” I poked her heart over and over again. “Always.”

She smiled. “I know, Daddy.” She poked my heart, “And I’m always in yours.”

I hugged her again, this one tighter. “I love you, baby.”

She laid her head on my shoulder, “I love you, daddy.”

I gave Gunner a couple of kisses and pets. Then we were out the door. Hangman brought Phoenix and me to the loading dock. Phantom was there waiting for us. We all greeted him. Hangman helped us unload our duffles and uniforms from his truck. 

He hugged the both of us, “Be safe out there. I’ll see you when you asshats get back.” He chuckled and patted our backs. 

“Take care of my girls, Seresin. Or I’ll kick your fuckin ass when I get home.” I smiled at him.

He nodded, “Always, Sir. I got your back.” He smiled and hugged me one more time. 

We got onto the boat and went to bring our things to our rooms. I was staying with the other LCDRs. After we finished unpacking our things, the boat was already departing. By the time I made my way out on the deck, the loading dock looked nothing more than a little dot in the distance. Here we go, again. 2 weeks, Bradshaw. You got this.

I made my way over to the planes. Phoenix and Phantom were standing at mine. Phantom waved me over, “Bradshaw, come over here.” He was smiling as he waved me over. “Will you look at that? They work quickly, don’t they? He chuckled and patted my back, “LDCR Bradley Bradshaw.”

I smiled and went up to my plane running my hand over the new decals. “Damn.” 

Phoenix came over and patted my back, “Let’s go get ready, sir. We have classes we are still running.” 

We shook hands with Phantom and returned back to our rooms. My roommates and I were all changing into our flight suits to meet in the de-briefing room. I met up with Phoenix and we headed over to the room. In there was a sea of pilots and sea-men. Phantom was at the head of the class waiting for the rest of the instructors to come in. We went and hung out with him in the front. We went over the routes and new precautions. There had been so many changes to everything since last week when I was here. I was shocked and amazed that they were able to come up with completely new instructions. 

We spent the whole working day in the classroom today. It dragged on for hours, and by the time we finished, It was already nighttime. We all headed down for dinner. Phantom, Phoenix, a couple of other superiors, and I talked about tomorrow’s agenda. Phoenix and I signed up for the second fly-out of the day around 1445. We would be with some of our students we had been training since being here in Hawaii, so it would run smoothly since they now understood our lingo. I walked Phoenix back to her room. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Trace.” I gave her a hug and a kiss on her head. “Get some sleep. Long day of flying tomorrow.” 

She smiled and patted my chest, “I’ll see you in the morning, Bradshaw.” 

I walked back to my room and changed for bed. I pulled out my picture of you and Leia and gave it a kiss, along with the picture of our twins. 

I love you, forever.

———-

The next morning, I woke at around 0400. I headed over to the showers and got ready for the day. I went back to my room and dressed in my whites, but instead of having the coat, I settled for the short sleeve shirt. It was still early in the morning but we were out in the middle of the Pacific and it had been warm out there no matter the time of day. I went to the cafeteria and grabbed a cup of coffee to have out on the flight deck. I made my way up to the deck. I went to stand over by the edge near the stern where the landing strip began. I looked out into the ocean. The sun was starting to come up over the horizon. There weren’t many crew members out on the deck yet. Just a couple checking all the planes. I put my earbuds in and played My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. It made me think of you, Leia, and the boys. 

I placed one of my hands in my pocket and admired the view. I took a sip of my coffee before closing my eyes. I could see you and Leia in the room, singing, and giggling. I smiled. I could feel the warmth against my exposed skin as the warm breeze blew. I was trying to relax my mind. It felt so good to be out here, but being out here meant I was away from you. I took a couple of deep breaths. I felt a hand on my lower back. I opened my eyes and turned around.

“Enjoying the view, Sir?” Phoenix was smiling up at me.

I chuckled and nodded, “It’s beautiful. Peaceful. It’s a great view to wake up to.”

“What are you listening to?” She pulled an earbud from my ear. Her eyes went wide, “You are so cliche, Sir.” She laughed. And left the earbud in her ear. “THE titanic song on a Boat. We better not sink.” She chuckled and rested her hand on my shoulder. 

“This is what y/n and Leia were singing to the boys before we left yesterday afternoon.” I smiled and patted her hand on my shoulder. “Makes me think of them.”

Phoenix gasped, “You are such a romantic, Bradshaw. I swear.” She laughed and we continued to admire the view together. 

I could feel the tenseness within her. So I tried to help. I started to sing goofily to her. 

“Near, far, wherever you are. I believe that the heart does go on.” I put my arm around her and swayed. She started to laugh. “Come on, Nix. Take us home!”

She started to laugh and sing loudly with me, “You’re here, there’s nothing I fear! And I know that my heart will go on! We’ll stay forever this way, you are safe in my heart, and my heart will go on and on!”

We started to laugh and she shook her head. “Thank you for that. I needed that, Bradshaw.” 

I patted her shoulder and pulled her into my side, “Of course. Anything for my Wingman. Now let’s go get our planes and pilots ready. We have our routes in…” I looked at my watch, “4 hours.” I patted her upper back and we were off. 

It was finally time for our routes. The team that launched before us was having a hard time with the wind currents. It made things a little hasty, but it was usually harder to fly in the morning with the morning breeze flying through. I am hoping when mine and Phoenix team gets up there, it won’t be as bad. 

Phantom called over the radios for us to sound off and ready up. “LCDR Bradshaw on catapult one. Up and ready.” I placed your and Leia’s picture on my control panel along with the twins. I placed kisses on each of them. I took a deep breath and blew out 6 breaths before I strapped my mask on. I saluted the flight crew and shot them a hang loose. 

“Send catapult one,” Phantom called over the radio. I took a deep breath in and took off. 

As I ascended, the wind wasn’t bad, I had pretty good control of my aircraft. I could hear Phoenix on the radio. 

“Lt. Trace up and ready, catapult two.” 

“Send catapult two.” Before I knew it phoenix was in the air next to me. I looked over at her and nodded. I motioned for her to continue ahead. Our following 4 planes were launched and met with us. 

“Remember our routes. Lt. Trace and I will take Bobcat. Bobcat you’re gonna be front leader. Assume In trail formation. Lt. Trace and I will be your lower cover. Lt. Trace is your Wingman. I am your cover fire.” 

“Yes, sir.” He flew ahead of us. Phoenix and I dropped below him. 

I relayed to the other team their positions and who would be a front leader. We all went into our routes. 

“Bobcat we are entering the threshold in 3,2,1.” I flipped a couple of of switches on my panel. “Threshold met. Continue forward.”

We flew for 20 minutes. “How are you both doing?” I called over to Bobcat and Phoenix.

In unison, “Fine, sir.”

I nodded. “Good. Continue ahead. Make sure there aren’t any unauthorized boats in this area. There shouldn’t be any at this time.” I looked around as we continued to fly. 

“Sir.” Bobcat called over the radio.

“Go ahead, Bobcat.” 

“I just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion and for being here.”

I chuckled. “Thank you. Don’t get soft on me now, kid.” 

He laughed. “Yes, sir.”

An hour went by, “One more hour before we cross with our tanking aircraft. How are you both doing with fuel?” I continued to scope the waters and the air.”

“Good, sir.”

“I’’m good, Bradshaw.”

“10-4. We are good on fuel and on track.”

A couple of minutes went by and there was a call over the radio for us to meet with the other team. 

“Bradshaw, base.”

“Go ahead, Phantom.”

“You’re needed to meet with the other team.” He gave me their coordinates.

“Yes, sir. On our way.” We broke left and continued west to meet with the other team. 

When we finally met, “Cowboy, what’s the issue?”

“Sir, we saw a bandit in the area. Just scanning, possibly sky cover.”

“Did they give you lock?” I felt my heart rate up.

“No, sir. They flew the opposite direction. But I am not quite sure to do with this situation.”

I sniffed. Thank god they didn’t lock tone. I took a deep breath. “Proceed with caution. If anything happens, I trust that you will revert to your training, Lieutenant.” 

“Yes, Sir.” 

“Phoenix, take Bobcat and Riot with you on our routes.”

“Rooster.”

“I’m going to stay with Cowboy and Clutch.”

“Rooster.” The nervousness in her voice kicked up with the second one.

“That’s an order, Lt. Trace.” She flew up next to me and looked at me.

I shot her a thumbs up. She sighed into the radio. “Yes, Sir.”

Her, Bobcat, and Riot broke right to go back East.

“Cowboy, you’re assuming below flight cover. Clutch, you're my wingman. I’m taking up center forward. Assume in trail formation.”

We continued to fly through our route. We met up with the tanking aircraft and set ourselves up to refuel. After we all completed the refueling process, we continued our routes. We had two more hours left for our rounds. There was nothing in sight. 

I was looking at the picture of You, Leia and the boys. I smiled and then my tone buzzer was going off. “What the hell? Where the fuck is this guy?” I was looking around. “Shit. Cowboy, Clutch. Fly up and cover. I can’t find this guy.”

They came up through the clouds.

“To the north west, coming in hot, sir.” There was shooting. 

“Do not shoot! That is an order, Damn it!”

“Sir, the fire cover is coming from the east! We are surrounded.”

SHIT. “Cowboy, Clutch, break left in 3,2,1. Break left!” They flew left and I started to go after the bandit from the east.

“God, what the fuck do they want?!” 

Phoenix’s breath was unsteady. “Bobcat, Riot, We need to go help them. Send formation west.”

Phantom came onto the radio, “Phoenix, go provide cover.”

“Already on it, sir.” Her heart was pounding. She promised you and Leia she would take care of me… She promised…

“Bradshaw on your left. Two more from the north.” Cowboy and Clutch took down the lone aircraft from the west. I took down the one from the east. Two more were coming from the north. 

“Bradshaw, I’m almost there!” Phoenix yelled over the radio. 

“SHIT. We’re swamped three coming with the two north.” Clutch yelled as he spotted more bandits. 

“Fuck, was there no forewarning? Did no one know or see anything?”

Phantom called over the radio. “They had to have been flying below radar.”

“Bradshaw! Smoke in the air! Coming for you!”

FUCK. I maneuvered the plane and flew up. I deployed my flares. I had 4 more rounds left. I corkscrewed and shot off a missile to take down one of the aircraft. “Shit. Missed!” These gen-5 fighters were no joke. How the fuck did Mav do this shit in a damn F-14.

Phoenix finally caught up with us. “Bradshaw I’m here. Smoke on your right! Break left, I’ll cover you!” 

I broke left and evaded. Phoenix shot a missile and the bandit evaded. “SHIT!”

Our pilots were putting up a fight. We had to dogfight our way out of here. The pilots were doing the best they could. Some of them have never had more than one dogfight in their career. Most of them were fairly new. I couldn’t lose a wingman. I had to make sure everyone made it back. 

“Damn Bradshaw, Is today a bad day or what? This shit never happens.” 

I sighed, “Shit happens. Phoenix, on your left.”

“SIR! I don’t have any flares!” I looked around and watched as Riot was being chased by a bandit. “SIR! He has lock on me!” I flew for him. I was getting Deja Vu. Lord please give me the strength.

I cut the course off between the bandit and Riot. “BREAK RIGHT, RIOT!” I felt the impact against my plane. Sweetheart, please forgive me.

“BRADSHAW NOOOO!” Phoenix’s scream blared through the radio. 

I was falling fast, my plane on fire from the missile's impact. I grasped the pictures and pulled to eject. As I ejected my chute started to deploy. Debris from my plane came flying down at me, “Oh shit.” I braced myself. It hit the chute and pierced it. It came through and cut my shoulder, “SON OF A BITCH!”

I was falling fast. I was holding onto your pictures tight. I love you so much sweetheart, forever. Forgive me. I was falling at an alarming rate. The water was getting closer. I was bracing myself for impact. The emergency chute deployed late. I slammed into the water. Everything went pitch black.

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Besties 🥺 But what about Bradley... I'll see you in the next chapter. 🥺

My peer support group is in the comments 😭

[saucyjothoughts]

it may be really weird ask but i'm gonna drop it here anyway just because i can

how boys would react if you told them you can't have kids and despite being a cis woman you have to take female hormones?

i've had problems with my reproductive system for a few years and it turned out my ovaries doesn't work at all

in 2019 doctor told me that it might be impossible for me to have kids and i was sad and i told my (now ex) boyfriend and he said "i don't know if you would like that but YOU could always adopt a kid", like he didn't want a kid with me but he was just a dick so it's better for my own well-being that he's ex.

like a year ago doctors told me that i won't have periods because i don't have enough eggs cells (and i'm only 22) so i have to take estrogen and progesterone just to have period and to not have menopause too early but it's not too bad since i don't wanna have kids (or more like i don't wanna give birth)

actually i just started my period (thanks to taking hormones) and i'm kinda emotional and wanted to ask that

i hope it's not bad and if it is i'm so so sorry:(

Beloved Anonyboo, this sounds tough as hell and you ex sounds like an A+ moron.

I can't imagine any of the guys would have an issue with you taking hormones for any reason, just like any other medication. Maybe they could take theirs at the same time so you don't forget! It wouldn't change how they see you, but if it changes how you see yourself then the boys would be behind you. Supporting you to feel as womanly as you want to feel, and make sure everyone else knows it too.

In terms of the infertility thing...

Bojan: is the son of a gynecologist and a paediatrician. We know he's desperate to be a daddy but isn't fussy about how that happens. If you can't/don't want to ever be pregnant or give birth then there are plenty of other options available and you know he'd be super engaged in booking and attending any appointments, explaining any medical jargon and fielding any awkward questions from nosy friends and family.

Jan: there are so many kids in the system who need families. It'd be ridiculous to think of having his own (and pregnancy is body horror, let's be real). He might take some convincing to realise he'd be any good at parenting, but once you take on one (an emergency placement maybe) he's keen for another. And another. The most challenged kids that no one else can take on. You end up having a really big family without ever worrying about having to deal with a pregnancy.

Jure: wouldn't mind never having kids at all. It's not for everyone, and without little ones to worry about the two of you can make the most of your own life, travelling and having adventures for as long as you want. There will always be nieces and nephews to play with. But you can give them back at the end of the day. Perfect situation.

Kris: his parents are desperate for grandkids but Kris himself is on the fence. He wants to live his own life first, to enjoy being young while he can. Maybe somewhere down the line it'd be nice to have little ones around. He needs to teach guitar to someone, of course. But timing doesn't really matter, and if you don't intend to have your own then he doesn't need to worry about your body clock either. That's a future problem.

Nace: would love to have a family and would make a brilliant daddy. Would definitely adopt if that's what suits you as a couple - he'd be so excited to kid-proof the house and set up their room. Would want to take one on as a baby to get the full experience, and show them all to all your friends and family. It'd be the most loved little one in the world and Nace doesn't care how it happens, as long as it happens with you.

[angelmichelangelo]

A little prompt for u!! Can’t stop thinking about 12 baby mikey being sick and hiding in his shell on instinct and splinter keeps having to coax him out to give him medicine and food and take his temperature and he turns away for one second to grab something and when he turns back Mikey is in his shell again 😭 (also I ordered a pizza yesterday and it was sooo good so here’s to hoping ur pizza is just as satisfying 🫶)

the pizza was okay! not the best but only because they put dry parmesan on top and it’s just too strong for my toddler level tastebuds but pizza is pizza lol — thanks for the prompt, enjoy some baby mikey!!

read on ao3!

x

��Michelangelo.”

Splinter is mindful to keep his voice level, ironing out the rising weariness that threatens to touch upon his words as he once again tries to coax his youngest out of his shell.

All he gains in return is a muffled little whine, the most he’s been given in the past twenty minutes or so as he tries desperately to give his son his medicine.

He shakes the plastic juice cup, nudging the squishy nipple of the lid against the rim of his shell in hopes of drawing him out but it proves to be a futile attempt.

“Please, my son,” he says, on the very percipise of pleading now. “You must have some. It shall make you better.”

Little Michelangelo does not come out of his shell, speaking from the deep confines in which he hides himself, his voice muffled still but the tiny lisp of his words still audible to him,

“No! S’yucky! I don’wan it, daddy!”

The rat’s ears press flat across his head, his willpower on the matter dwindling in quick succession.

He’d failed to scour for any medicine that was appropriate for children in the liquid form; brightly coloured and flavorful — anything a child Michelangelo’s age would have no issue swallowing down.

But Splinter didn’t have the luxury most parents had. He couldn’t waltz into a pharmacy and buy his children the medicine they needed to make them better when runny noses turned into chesty, wet coughs and upset tummies.

The pill he’d dissolved in his son’s juice is stark to him — bitter and strong, and he’d barely managed a single mouthful in him before he’d made a fuss and retreated steadfastly into his shell, still yet to emerge.

He sighs. Perhaps another approach on the matter.

“Daddy has his medicine like this,” he speaks, voice gentle and smooth. “And daddy is a big boy, you wish to be a big boy too, hm?”

A pause. Excitement grips at him, sure that the line had caught onto him.

But nothing. Michelangelo refuses to come out and take his juice.

Splinter sighs once more. “Michelangelo.” He tries for the umpteenth time now. “Michelangelo, if you do not take your medicine, you shall become very sickly. Remember when your brother became unwell?”

A whole winter ago, Leonardo had almost subcummed entirely to a very nasty bout of bronchitis.

It had been a tense few weeks, endless sleepless nights where he kept his eldest son tucked away in his own bed, frightened that the illness would catch on and he’d have four very unwell children to tend to with such limited supplies, it’d been very much touch and go for his boy.

Mikey whines — he’d been particularly fretful during that time, and resorted to spending his days doodling endless get well cards and most his nights sobbing where he was sandwiched in between Raphael and Donatello before he’d inevitably fall asleep.

“S’Leo sick too?” He asks from his shell.

A certain sadness grows tight in the rat’s chest. He sets the cup down and lays his paws across his shell affectionately.

“No, my son,” he’s quick to assure him steadily. “But we don’t want to pass this illness along, do we? That is why we must take our medicine.”

He hates to have to essentially corner his small son like this, backing him into a corner in such a way but he could not afford to have Michelangelo’s cold manifest itself into something more dangerous and deadly; as the smallest of his children, it was a fear that gripped right at him every time he’d so much as sneeze.

“It’s so yucky, daddy,” he says, his snot finally— finally protruding from his shell. “It tastes like wall.”

Splinter decides to shelf his initial question as to why his son knows what the wall tastes like to instead encourage him out even further.

“I know. But you’re being very brave,” he tells him with a confident nod of his head. “Can you taste some for me so I know I can have some too?”

Michelangelo looks skeptical at the idea as he pokes his head out further. His limbs remain safely tucked away as he stretches his neck outwards.

Splinter lifts the cup to his lips, pressing the nipple to his lips when the turtle takes one taste of it lingering there, hisses and quickly shuns himself away with a little click of his tongue.

“Michelangelo…” Splinter sighs. “You cannot stay in your shell forever, my son. There will come a time when you will need the bathroom, or when you get hungry, or—”

An idea strikes him so hard, he almost jumps to his feet.

He smiles to himself and sets the cup down and away from his son. “Alright. No medicine. But you must be hungry, I know I am. Shall we get some lunch, Michelangelo?”

The L word has his youngest son poking his head back out again, with a gleam of excitement in his eyes. “Lunch?”

Splinter nods. “Hm. I was thinking maybe, as you are feeling under the weather, we can have some of the special lunch in the fridge. Instead of algae.”

Michelangelo, of all his children, was less inclined to be fussy over the usual meal of moss and worms that they were fed, often times eating the leftovers from a more picky Donnie and Raph, yet when Splinter was able to find more salvageable human food, his eating frenzy son was front, right and center for it.

“Special lunch?” He’s echoing, eyes practically sparkling. “Really?!”

Splinter has to suppress the urge to laugh, smiling at his son as his arms and legs pop out of his shell to haul himself to standing.

He leads his son to the kitchen where he fixes his children up with a sandwich. They don’t have any butter and the lunch meat he’d found yesterday is only enough for one thin slice each, but when he fixes up Mikey’s meal, he rolls up a pill into the wafer slice and tucks it away safely out of sight.

He gives Michelangelo his first before calling on his other sons, watching with a keen eye as he practically inhales the sandwich in only a few bites.

Confident that the pill has been devoured, he smiles sweetly at his son. “I think that shall make you better, my son,” he says. He plates up the other sandwiches and calls from the others from the other room. “Now,” he says. “How about a bath to cool you off? You still have a slight fever and—”

But when he turns around, Mikey is perched on the table, fully retreating back into his shell, unbudging.

He sighs once more, his whiskers dropping tiredly. “Perfect,” he says flatly.

[minamorsart]

Happy holidays to you 🎄🎁🌟❤️

*whispers* , who do you think deserves better

Lotor or Ben Solo/Kylo Ren

First of all: thank you so much! Happy Holidays to you, too!! I hope you are enjoying this holiday season with your loved ones 🎄🎀☃️💖

And second of all: NOOOO Anon how could you make me choose??! 😭😂😂

My gut reaction is to say both of them, but that's not really the answer we're looking for here, is it? Hehe. So I have tried to seriously consider this and provide a sincere answer to your question.

A quick heads up, I will be mentioning reylo and lotura here and there throughout this little essay!

The most fun part about comparing Ben and Lotor I think comes from the fact that these two are suuuuper similar to one another. I covered this a tiny bit in this ask where I talk about how protective the two of them are, but to reiterate:

Both Lotor and Ben are from sci-fi/fantasy franchises that were released around the same time, both have troubled relationships with their fathers, both are great swordsmen and pilots and engineers, both murdered their fathers, have complicated childhoods, rarely show their true faces to others, killed their dads, fell in love with fierce and powerful women, kissed said fierce and powerful women before shortly dying afterwards, said bye-bye to papa by doin a lil stabby stab, became intergalatic leaders of the most powerful empires in the universe -- oh, and did I mention daddy issues? You tend to find that a lot with long-haired emo boys from fiction. It's just the way it is. And for these two in particular you can also sprinkle in a little "mommy issues" just for funsies.

But in all seriousness, Lotor and Ben share a LOT in common, which is pretty crazy! So who deserves better, really? In order to make a fair judgment my first thought was to take into account their crimes and if they were able to redeem themselves in the end. But this is also fiction. As soon as people slap the label "toxic" on a character or ship, I usually tend to tune them out. This is by no means a hot take, but fiction is a form of escapism. It is a way for people to experience a thing (e.g. horror, adventure, romance) without actually having to experience it. So if we have a couple of sad boys who murder and manipulate people but also want to find love, who's gonna stop us from rooting for them? Absolutely no one!

I digress, but my point is that I usually don't care which character did what and why they're a bad person for it. But even then were Ben and Lotor really all that bad? After all, we learned from "The Rise of Kylo Ren" comics that Ben was ultimately not the one responsible for destroying Luke's Jedi school, and in TROS we found out that he was being manipulated by Palpatine the entire time.

For Lotor, we never really got a clear picture of what exactly he was doing with that Altean colony. To this day I still don't get it! In S6E6 he says, "Many Alteans perished in my quest to unlock the mysteries of quintessence." But then in S8E13 Allura says, "Lotor may have been misguided, but ultimately he wanted to preserve life." Like, what does any of that mean?? There are cracks in the armor, Anon! Cracks!!! Not to mention all of the theories with very convincing evidence that there were a ton of changes made to season 8, and unfortunately I don't think we're ever going to get a solid answer from the showrunners as to what was really supposed to happen.

In the end, the complicated and morally gray choices that Lotor and Ben made throughout their lives are what make their characters so interesting! They did the wrong things for what they believed to be the right reasons. If they didn't come across as the mysterious and devious fellas as they did when we first saw them, we wouldn't be such big fans of them. We would've chosen someone else 😉

So any bad deeds aside, maybe we oughta take a step back and do one last comparison. Most notably, comparing how they died. Ben died saving the person he loved, while Lotor died fighting the person he loved. I would have to argue that Lotor's death was far more gruesome and superfluous than Ben's. Not only did he go mad from all of the raw quintessence coursing through his body, but we find out in season 8 that his body had remained in his ship for three whole years, decayed and melted (seriously whose idea was it to share that imagery? I'm scarred for life) and left to sit there by his own mother.

Ben's passing was also deeply upsetting. I cried in the theater. But you can't deny that it was a peaceful one. From the way his body faded into nothingness, leaving beind only his clothes, the audience is able to assume that he became a Force Ghost (or did he? 🤔). He was battered and beaten, but he brought the woman he loved back to life, and in giving his life to her and helping her defeat Palpatine, he redeemed himself. And not only did he redeem himself, but he was also able to reconcile with both of his parents.

Lotor didn't get to do either of those things. He never got the chance. He was manipulated by both of his parents, and he never had the opportunity to redeem himself on his own terms. You know, for someone who directly influenced the entirety of season 8's plot, Lotor is hardly in it! I suppose he sort of redeemed himself, at least in Allura's eyes, but he was long gone by then. He wasn't around to see any of the stuff going on in season 8, stuff happening specifically FOR him because his mother wanted him back. In season 6 he went out like your average cartoon villain--dying because of his own hubris while the heroes looked on. In season 8 we only get: a flashback episode, him showing up in Allura's bedroom ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and him copied and pasted into the background as a ghost in the finale, almost like something is amiss in this scene (cracks in the armor, Anon!!!). UGH. You hate to see it.

But at the same time, I'm not too upset that Lotor died if I'm being completely honest with you. At least not anymore, anyway. Don't get me wrong, at the time I cried when his death was confirmed, and then I cried again when Allura died. But at least they get to be together in the afterlife. Ben had a lot going for him. He was only 30 years old when he died, and that's still very young. He could have had a long, happy life with Rey, and to truly redeem himself in the eyes of the resistance, could have devoted his time to restoring peace and order to the galaxy, as well as teach the new generation of Force-wielders alongside Rey.

Lotor, on the other hand, was 10,000 years old. The idea of having lived that long is not only unfathomable, but the fact that he probably spent most of that time being completely alone is just... really, really sad. If I were him I would have been ready to kick the bucket, too. I think the kindest thing to do for him at that point was to give him a peaceful, as well as justified, departure in the series finale. Allura had suffered as well. She had lost everything, just like him, so the two of them finding peace in the afterlife would be the most merciful conclusion, I believe.

Soooo I'm gonna cheat again with my answer 😂 Who deserves better? I would say BOTH of them deserve better, but in different ways. Ben Solo deserved to live, while Lotor deserved a better death.

Thank you so much for this question, Anon! I really had to think a lot about this one, and even though in the end I couldn't actually choose between the two, I still enjoyed coming up with this long-winded answer haha! If you have any further insights you would like to add, or if you even disagree with any of the things I've said, please don't hesitate to say so! I am always happy to discuss anything Ben or Lotor-related 😁 My love for these boys knows no bounds 💖

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 43

Late November 1997

Thea's heartwarming gesture towards her brothers had made it on almost every newspaper front page the next day and, though the whole country was still mourning immensely, there was something ominously uplifting and comforting about it. Camilla was of course incredibly relieved that everything had gone well and she was glad that most of the public didn’t seem to have an issue with Thea’s attendance of the funeral - especially not after her close bond with the Princes had become so visible, but somehow the sudden new attention scared and worried her. She had not expected there to grow so much interest in her daughter, especially as the occasion had been such a serious and saddening one but people seem to be obsessed with her little sweetheart, and much to her regret, there had been some journalists sneaking around the house and even Thea's school again but nothing serious had happened yet, thank goodness. She had told Charles and he'd been furious, determined to issue a public statement immediately, urging people and especially journalists to leave their daughter alone but Camilla had insisted that it might not be a good time for that, so shortly after Diana's funeral and with the whole country still in mourning. The boys were being so brave, they had returned to their respective boarding schools the week after and though Charles was hoping for them all to find some kind of normality again soon, Camilla doubted that anything was going to be normal again in the foreseeable future. 

And so a few weeks passed, the days got shorter and darker and everything inside of them as well. Thea wrote heartfelt letters to her brothers every week, but didn't receive a reply, Charles gave a few phone calls but always seemed short-handed and even his birthday passed without an opportunity for a meet-up. Camilla tried to keep herself busy reading books and painting, while she, amid that horrible new wave of public hatred she was facing, couldn't really go anywhere. Thank God, she had friends who did the shopping at Sainsbury for her and the children came and left as usual. She was incredibly worried about her little sweetheart Thea, though, as she was obviously missing her father and brothers immensely. Neither of them had an explanation of why William and Harry didn't write to her and Camilla hadn't dared ask Charles, who was totally overburdened with the sad situation as it was anyway. He'd taken Harry to Africa for a couple of days at the end of October, beginning of November, and, of course given the special connection Diana had had to the continent, the trip had been highly emotional and, as Camilla hoped, a bit healing for the young Prince. So it quite took her by surprise when, on a random Saturday afternoon in late November, the phone rang and none other than her beloved Prince was on the line, huskily asking: “Can you two come over to Highgrove tonight?” Camilla didn’t even think about it any further, but immediately said: “Of course, darling. We’ll be there!” She called for Thea who's whole face lit up at the prospect of seeing daddy tonight and, of course, she asked whether Will and Harry were there as well and Camilla gulped. “I, um, didn't even had the chance to ask.”, she explained. “It went so quickly… he was so short-handed again… I'm sorry, darling. But I'm sure we'll find out soon, so let's get ourselves ready and depart as soon as possible!” It was strange, probably ridiculous, but somehow, after all these weeks, Camilla felt really excited to see her Prince again tonight and wanted to look especially beautiful for him, so she put her hair in rollers and some makeup on her face, eyeliner and mascara and a bit of lip gloss, only a modest shade of pink, not too intrusive of course, but elegant and classy. She also dressed herself in a cute little, dark green velvet dress and something special underneath though she wasn’t sure whether it might actually go into action, however, she thought, just in case…

They arrived at Highgrove at around 6pm and were received by an equerry who escorted them inside, where all three, Charles, William and Harry were already waiting impatiently. “My little sunshine!”, Charles exclaimed and enthusiastically opened his arms for Thea, who threw herself onto him affectionately, before rushing over to her brothers and falling into their arms as well. It was a very touching scene to witness and Camilla shed a tear watching the three siblings reunited. “Darling.”, Charles whispered softly in her ear as he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. Of course, they didn’t want to be too wild in front of the children, but it had been a long time and it hadn’t taken much for her to forget herself. He smelled so good, and, oh, the way he looked at her… She took both his hands in hers and locked his eyes, his beautiful and soft, grey-blue eyes which looked so unhappy and sorrowful that it almost made her cry. She couldn’t wait to properly hug him later, when they’d be alone, to hold him and to kiss all of the pain aways that had undoubtedly tortured him over the last couple of weeks. “Why didn’t you write to us?”, Harry asked Thea and sounded equally reproachful and disappointed. “I did write to you!”, Thea defended herself, adding: “Every week! But none of you ever  replied to me!” Charles and Camilla got apart and slowly went over to the children. “I haven’t got a single letter from you!”, Harry reported and William confirmed, less reproachful but more sad: “Neither have I…” “But…”, Thea stuttered with tears in her eyes, desperately looking over to her mum for help. Camilla rushed over and bend down to her, pressing her against herself, while calmly explaining to William and Harry, that they had, indeed, sent out letters to both of them every week ever since their mother’s funeral. “And you really haven’t got one of ours either?”, William asked and Camilla shook her head. “No, none.” Charles had meanwhile joined the party and knelt down on the floor between his sons, opposite to Camilla and Thea, who were now looking at him in complete confusion and Camilla noticed worryingly that he was about to throw a tantrum - it was obvious that somebody had to deliberately have stopped the letters in order to prevent any correspondence between the Princes and their sister, and Camilla was just as shocked and angry as Charles - but they had to try and keep calm, at least in front of the children, she thought, so she cleared her throat and quickly took the floor: “Well, I’m sure we’ll be able to solve the mystery and find all of the missing letters.”, she said, trying to sound as calm and optimistic as possible.

Unintentionally, her glance met William’s, who seemed to understand immediately. “Hey Harry, let’s go and show Thea the new bunnies in the stables! They’re only just a few weeks old, very sweet.”, he suggested and Harry looked at him in complete confusion. “Why this now?”, he asked, but Thea was so excited about the prospect of seeing baby rabbits, that any resistance was futile in this case. As soon as the children had left the room, Charles couldn’t hold it back any longer and did, indeed, throw a tantrum. He almost screamed down the house in anger, disappointment and pain; not only about this unfortunate situation regarding the missing, or rather stolen, letters, but probably because of everything that had happened since that one, fateful last day of August… He had become a single father overnight, he had to cope with two mourning, half-orphaned teenage boys, he had been trying to stay strong for them, to look after them… but who had been looking after him? It almost broke her to see him in that state of mind and she wished she could just kiss it all away, she knew she couldn’t but at least she wanted to try, so she just sat down next to him, wrapped her arms around him and let him cry, tenderly stroking his hair and whispering sweet promises. “Regarding the letters, darling.”, she started after a couple of minutes. “I think we’d better ask Mark to try and find out what happened and… who might be behind it.”, she suggested and he nodded in agreement. “Yes, yes, darling. Let’s talk to him tomorrow…”

So, what do you think? Who might be behind this mean cabal and why?

[littleredwritinghoodsclub]

Moody Monday I

🌹Hello Campers! Here are the responses we got for our first activity for camp NaNoWriMo. Thank you everyone who participated, if you still wanted to submit a response please do so- it's never too late to join in one of our activities. If you're not part of the club and still want to answer these questions, then reblog this post with your answers.

🌹Also huge thank you to @caveatscriptor for creating the graphic

🌹 Member responses below the cut:

🌹 @jay-avian

1. Honestly, a little bit of both. I do a general outline of the main plot, as well as any worldbuilding needed. And once I start writing, I let the pacing flow naturally and the characters flesh themselves out 2. Current WIP - "The Court Magician": Forest man on house arrest must save the world from the fae 3. (not sure, will come back) 4. Fantasy, Adventure 5. Reluctant Chosen One

🌹 @mayonayys

1. I'm definitely a planner! I enjoy a bit of chaos, but need structure for most things, and that includes writing. An example of my most extreme planner moment: I was writing up fake advertisements for my in world D&D newspaper, had to give the businesses addresses... So I stopped halfway through and had to plan out most of a market district map, which will probably never be used again 2. Aura Sighted: Gifted-kid burnout syndrome mage has to figure out how to save her sister from a psychotic King, while staying out of the way of the Prince with daddy issues. 3. Keywords: (I'll come back to this one) 4. Genres: Fantasy, Action/Adventure, Eventual Romance 5. Favorite Tropes: Found Family, Eventual Idiots to Lovers, with a hint of Enemies to Lovers Bonus: My Camp goal this year is just to get some writing done; shooting for 15k words!

🌹 @becausethecat

1. Planning: Generally it depends. I don’t outline Fic usually, or random ideas that just jump out, but I do like having vague-to-solid roadmap on other ideas 2. WIP that i think I’m gonna try to do: A pirate loses his ship and crew to his creditors and makes a drastic attempt to pay them off by promising to produce a rare magical artifact—a weather violin that specifically calls moody weather when played—and he isn’t prepared for his quest to dump him on a small island, inhabited by one other person; the violinist who found his treasure first. 3. Key Words: Broody Boi, Dislike to Love (think animated Anastasia/Dimitri), reformed pickpocket, identity, violin + The sound of rain on a tin roof while a sad viloin plays, deserted island, survival, persons of debatable charm, BLORBOS 4. Genre is uhhhh.... Pirate Captain on a deserted island with a Moody Violinist ..... idk if it will be humor or romance or survival but it’s def Fantasy with Magic and whatnot 5. Tropes: Pirate on Deserted Island, Survival, is Learning to Communicate Effectively a trope? And uhhhh I’m not sure how the Only One Bed will turn out that’s the one I pulled out of a hat (what quantifies Idiots to Lovers bc they might be that too)

🌹 @fanged-writer

1. former pantser, trying to plan now. don't think my previous method was working for me, so I'll see how this goes! 2. sentence: an average human is suddenly gifted 'divine' knowledge, transporting them from one dismal situation to another. 3. will need to figure these key words out, i think. 'wasps, red, gods, superstition, summer'. 4. not too sure, but got some fantasy in there... 5. rivals and rivals and more rivals. also deceit.

🌹 @inkspellangel

1. A little of both. I plan a bit and then hope I don't pants my way too far away from that vague outline :'D 2. SSP: Grumpy punk with wolf companion has to arrest his childhood friend because of reasons he can't believe. 3. Keywords: Mad scientist, childhood friends to lovers, grumpy/sunshine friend dynamic, cave system, more vibes than plot at this point 4. Subterranean sci-fi, I think 5. 100% sunshine/grumpy friends

🌹 @fleurtygurl

1. I think I lean more towards a pantser. Ideas come to me as I write that I would never have thought of in the planning stages of my wip. But I'm doing my best to find a way to give myself more structure. 2. Filipina in San Francisco meets cyborg private investigator, and they solve some murders. 3. Keywords: tomboy, trauma, sapphic, straight people being friends, siblings-centered 4. Sci-fi and mystery? ( i know there are technical differences between mystery and thriller, but i dont want to try and think about it.) 5. my favorite dynamic? Close sisters who can depend on one another

[ozzies-420-world]

Hiii! Just stumbled upon your blog! Shiro x trans masc reader? Platonic please! Oh and if you’re alright with it reader has daddy issues? Hope you have a good day!! Byeeeeeee :)

Ooooh boy, as a trans masc myself this is going to be fun! Shiro has always been a huge comfort character for me, so lucky you!!

This is going to start out as angst because I feel like it, deal with it. But don't worry, it will turn into comfort!!

You felt the growing urge to cry as your eyes scanned over your figure in the mirror, nit picking all the big and little things you hated about your body.

No. The body you were trapped in.

It was late, not really since you were in space, but everyone had long since gone to bed. So you decided to just consider the time to be too late to be awake, yet here you were wide awake, too busy criticizing your body for the way it was made.

Looking into your eyes, you couldn't help but tear up, light sobs leaving your lips as you hugged yourself. Stumbling over to your bed, you sat down and leaned back letting yourself fall back.

Staring at the ceiling the sobs only got louder as your mind went to darker places. Placing a hand over your mouth you try to muffle the sounds of your crying, screwing your eyes shut to try and block out the whole world, including your thoughts.

You didn't notice the knock on your door, nor the sound of the door sliding open and then closed, only when the spot beside you on the bed dipped down did you freeze. Opening your eyes you looked over to see Shiro worriedly looking at you.

You sat up, frantically rubbing your eyes to get rid of the tears.

"Sorry if I woke you up Shiro I-"

You were about to ramble out apologies before Shiro stopped you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"It's okay Y/n, I wasn't asleep anyway. But more importantly why are you crying, what's wrong?"

It was such a simple question, yet it somehow broke whatever control you had left over your emotions as tears started to fall from your eyes, loud sobs left your lips as Shiro pulled you into a hug. Rubbing your back he let you cry, wanting you to let everything out so you could talk if you wanted to.

Finally calming down, crying turned to sobs, then turned to sniffles. Pulling away Shiro looked down at you, offering a patient and kind smile.

"Do you wanna talk now?"

Shiro asked, getting a slow nod in response he waited until you were ready to talk.

"I hate my body..."

You muttered quietly, looking down at your lap to avoid looking Shiro in the eyes. Shiro looked at you with sad eyes, already knowing you were trans masc and the dysphoria you had almost daily.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. It may seem like there is nothing to like about yourself, but you're wrong."

Shiro said softly, the smile never leaving his lips as you finally looked at him.

"For example your personality, it's like no others that I meet, you can brighten up a room just by being there, and I know the others can agree with me."

Shiro started, resting an arm around your shoulder as you leaned against him, feeling warm and safe in his presence as you listened to him ramble.

"Your sense of humor is hilarious, even Lance would admit it, and you know how he is. You're also very smart, I always see you helping Pidge out with their tech."

Shiro continued, and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed by his compliments. You knew he only meant them in a friendly way, but having someone point out positive things about yourself made you feel better as a smile slowly started to form on your lips.

Before Shiro could continue you cut him off.

"Thank you Shiro, really. You didn't have to come over here and check up on me, let alone stay here and comfort me."

You said, looking up at him, but Shiro only shook his head.

"What are friends for, right Y/n?"

______________________________________

Hope this is good enough for you! I had fun writing this one.

Don't forget to request if you have anymore ideas!! That's all for now, good bye dear friends!