#idk lol i think about it a lot
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y'all ever think about the 10 years engie spent as a roughneck in the oilpatch? because I do.
Like, do you think he was trying to break away from the family legacy of becoming a mercenary? that maybe that boy in the picture, trying his father's goggles wanted nothing more than to be an engineer just like his daddy - even had a natural knack for it too, said his dad, just like him and his father before him - and was too young to see clearly the toll it took on him and his family? do you think that, as he got older, he would begin to recognize the extremes his father and grandfather went to for their work, obsessing over it, even experimenting on their own bodies. do you think he came across his mother crying at the kitchen table late one night, unable to recognize the loving man she married who now never came home and obsessed over his work, and decided right then and there that he wasn't going to be that man to his family? that he was going to forge his own path - be his own man, and break free from the Conagher family curse?
so, maybe, at the age of 18, he began working as a roughneck in the oilfields of west Texas. It was hard manual labour, long days spent on drilling rigs with the Texas sun beating down on him, but it was good money, and though some of his coworkers were rough most of them were good enough guys and he along with most of 'em. and hey, sometimes maybe there were even on-the-spot practical problems to be solved - issues with the drill that in a fast-paced environment like that couldn't wait for a proper tech to come around and solve? and in those moments, engie would step in and fix the issue quickly, working without hesitation, like it was second nature to him. And maybe his coworkers would always remark upon his natural aptitude? ("you're in the wrong line of work, Dell.") Maybe he would shrug it off, say it weren't nothin' - just hung around his father a lot growin' up and learned a thing or two - but deep inside, he hoped for more of those opportunities to fix things, and maybe those little moments of on-the-spot fixes were the very things he looked forward to most. And maybe, even as he gained a reputation for being a mr. fix-it amongst his coworkers, given odd things outside of work to tinker on, it wasn't enough. maybe slowly, over the years, with each thing he worked on, the flames of his intellectual curiosity were stoked more and more, until eventually, he went back home and visited his mom, during his week off. And, late one night, against his better judgement, he went into his father's workshop - untouched, everything covered in a layer of dust (he hadn't been home in years). he knew he shouldn't. He could feel the gnawing at him, the voice demanding him to give in to his intellectual curiosity and follow in his father's footsteps getting louder. He had been trying to fight it, but he finally reached his breaking point and went into his father's blueprints. that was what tipped him over the edge. He spent the whole night, locked away in his father's workshop, poring over each design, his mind racing with ideas of how he could make it better. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed more. When the sun came back up again, Dell informed his mother that after 10 years, he was quitting his job and enrolling for university. and although he was certain that he would not become the same man his father and grandfather was, as sure as he would be an engineer, but do it differently and not succumb to the family curse. And although his mother smiled, ever gentle and encouraging of her son, coffee mug in hand, there was a sadness in her eyes. Because she knew that Dell always had the same tenacity and obsessive intellectual curiosity his father has. And if Dell was going to do this, there was no moderation. He was going to fling himself into it completely, lose sleep, lose focus of everything else. And she was right.
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OR maybe he always knew he was going to be an engineer and was like, "well, I'm going to do a whole lot of schooling, so what's the best way to save up for tuition? oh yeah! work in the oilfield for a few years :)" lol
#oops ended up writing a longer post than intended#idk lol i think about it a lot#10 years in the oilpatch is a long time for a guy who - once he got to college - ended up getting 11 phds#like he HAD to have been pushing back against the family legacy right?#idk what do you guys think?#tf2#tf2 engineer#tf2 headcanons#team fortress 2
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grunkles at sea
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#stanford pines#stanley pines#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#stan pines#ford pines#ermmmm yeah idk lol#i think about them sailing a lot 🤒#my art#mods art#mods draws
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danny phantom cast explorations and thoughts :v
#🧻 sharts#danny phantom#danny fenton#jazz fenton#danielle phantom#sam manson#tucker foley#i have like. other sketches of other cast members hidden away. maybe ill finish them up but#for now heres my thoughts on the cast! at least how i would do it#i never understood danielle being 12 when danny is 14. MAKE THEM IDENTICAL!!!!! RAAAAH#i have a lot of thoughts about danielle and non of them are canon compliant#i may just be rewriting the lore sorry#danny phantom is like r*wby to me#in which i rewrite the things i dont like#i will say a lot of the things im applying to the halfa’s is from an oc of mine#because i like the concepts and find them fitting#its not stealing if its from myself. its recycling#i think the one thing that keeps kicking me in the ass is danny's suit. its a hazmat suit but its vacuum sealed HAHA#i love both vibes of him in a tight superhero suit and him in a loose hazmat lookin suit with a mask or smth. for the creep factor#idk im figuring out how i would do the phantom alter ego. ywlma has me obsessed w it being elderich and scary though#wow. so many tags! LOL SORRY#guess ill die (danphantom)
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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I think if you consider yourself someone who genuinely cares about dismantling bioessentalism and the speaking out about harm it does to society you HAVE to acknowledge that bioessentalism is one of the oldest tools in the patriarchy's toolbox and not something twentieth-century TERFs invented
#this is not to say bioessentalism is NOT relevant to discussions of terfism btw#I just see too many people speaking about bioessentalist rhetoric as if its something only TERFs or Bad Women utilize#and that is fundamentally incorrect lol#I think acknowledging that bioessentalism has always been a tool of the patriarchy is important esp when talking about the very obvious#connections between terfism and 'traditional' right wing ideology#idk I think a lot of people just talk about bioessentalism as something Women(TM) believe and its really weird to me
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different POV of this comic
x
#ethan winters#karl heisenberg#wintersberg#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#i dont think karl would ever be the kind of guy to outwardly verbally say “i love you”#not to say he DOESNT love ethan#he just has a lot of trouble saying those three words out loud lol#he shows his love in a different way but i think its hard sometimes#had a conversation with my friend and i think if ethan and karl were to get into a argument karl woul definetly not apologize#he would definetly feel bad and sulk a lot#but i dont think he would ever bring himself to say hes sorry#hes a little too arrogant and emotionally stunted to do that#sorry i like thinking about all the aspects of relationship dynamics#hed apologize by making ethan a robot that kills people who r mean to him IDK LOL
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something something luigi doesn't remember the final events of spm or dimentio at all after he's defeated (but mario remembers everything)
#super mario bros#super paper mario#smb#spm#dreamyart#i have a lot of thoughts about luigi having amnesia afterward and mario knowing and remembering vividly exactly what happened#like he has vague memories of bleck's crew but just as he knew them as Luigi and not as he knew them as L y'know? plus they're still around#but dimentio is Gone gone and idk maybe his floro sprout sapped his memory of him entirely something like that#i also just think bc dimentio is a weird little interdimensional being he definitely still exists Somewhere#and just wants to torment luigi with visions lol#AND i just think weege has weird vivid dreams anyway thanks dream team can we take this guy to a sleep study#this all severely fucks mario up right like i saw you turn into the antichrist and what do you mean you have no idea what i'm talking about#i saw this little freak brainwash you and force me to fight you. and luigi's just like. Huh. What. No way that happened ur pullin my leg#i dunno i have many thoughts okay byee
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Missed drawing these two too
Bonuses
#rendoc#still thinking about them a lot#always#hermitshipping#sorry for the weird empty area in the first one. It was my attempt to make it take up less of people's timelines#this art is so embarrassing lol but man I like when Doc's drawn as a big goat man I have no defense I plead the fifth#or well at least it becomes embarrassing when its. shippy#whatever Tumblr people are usually cool so here goes!!#I am 99% a fluff and hurt/comfort person. Idc how frisky these guys get in fanon all I can ever think of is fluff sorry#Also contemplated implementing Doc's accent into the dialogue but I am forever paranoid of offending someone lol#idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure#hermitblr#tubby art
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that annoying moment when getting left for dead in the trunk of a car in your 20s comes back to haunt you 40 years later (take a shot every time ford says “stanley”)
#i love making ford look like a kicked puppy#my favorite pastime#i also like making stan suffer then he brushes it off like a joke <3#these guys have issues#anyway context? what’s that ahaha#but idk. i guess in their adventures they get into fights with things and people#and eventually stan gets pushed and locked into a trunk or one of those little freezers that lock on the outside#and he’s in this tiny space and he can’t just push his way out so he panics and forgets where he is for a second#and by the time ford gets rid of the people/things attacking and finds wherever stan went (kind of easy to tell when he’s yelling)#he’s gotta like. ground him or whatever#those 6 fingers come in handy bc he’s just gotta grab onto stan’s hand and let him feel those 6 fingers against his hand#👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼#anyway i lowkey don’t even like the dialogue in this#and ofc the drawings are low quality as usual#but whatever i am Not going back to work on this lol#idgaf take whatever i give y’all guys 🗣️#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#stan twins#sea grunks#stangst#??? yeahg#my art#rystiart#i’ll have it in me to sit down and make something better one day but today is not that day#also ahem. he repeats please a lot when he’s about to die haha. why do y’all think he hates saying please so much? 😇
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twenties mutant ninja turtles or whatever you call it
#i think a lot about post-canon (good timeline) stuff with the turtles i feel like it's an untapped field. idk if ive mentioned it ever lol.#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rise leo#rise donnie#rise mikey#rise raph#avepharts#let's call this uhhh#rot20mnt#also the leo arm constant is that he loses an arm no matter the timeline BUT HEY! look it's the other one this time#and yeah the “mikey's hair is seaweed/algae” thing still fucks me up
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doodles
#i think a lot about what a probably shit life irep had#or maybe im just projecting lol i really grew attached to this character#irep#ireperi#perirep#anti wanda#irep fop#jorgen fop#idk how to draw that guy lol#fairly odd parents a new wish#fairly oddparents#fop#fopanw
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Destiel Pride - Day 21; Most faithful mirror
#destiel pride#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#destiel art#spnfanart#wiggleart#I forgot this is a line in the Massive Attack song Teardrop haha but yeah I#thought about things that encompassed the whole song but I just then thought about mirrors and how it shows you yourself#and how Dean and cas faced similar issues specifically daddy issues lol#and family issues#and this scene from 4.16 was one of my favorites of theirs and imo one of their most important scenes that got them on the same page#this is the same episode cas is beginning to experience doubt#Dean tells him not to disappear on him while he’s talking to him#and how they both didn’t become the fathers wanted#well in cas’s case… Angel lol#so yah#idk this scene is really emotional to me and I think thee point in time cas starts to feeeeeeeel#idk. I love this scene a lot lol
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Love, Dhes
Parker,
It's unfair how time with you feels so short. How the last 10 years have felt like no time at all. I like to think there are other versions of us out there, somewhere. Maybe in another timeline, another universe. I like to think we find each other no matter where we are or what we're doing. That we're together and happy and I get to love you in a dozen different lifetimes. That's what I hope, anyway. And I hope when this lifetime ends, we get to start over and do it all again. Because once just isn't enough. Not for me. Not with you.
I hope the next 10 years pass slower.
Love, Dhes
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#sue#dhestyn#kelly#bow#stella#duder the cat#marky#jax#i'm not fucking recovering from this#critical damage has been dealt to me#GODDDDDD this edit took me so LONG.#the GOOD news is there ARE other versions of them & they DO in fact find each other in every universe !!#whether or not they are happy though. well. that's a different story#cough monster boyz. cough slaughter house.#:-)#ngl a lot of the time i was working on this edit all i could think about was how much dhes has grown as a character#like baby dhes genuinely was such a punk. wouldn't be caught DEAD writing a love letter#let alone to kelly of all people#idk i'm just proud of him. seeing him so comfortable with himself... how he's able to show that to others & not feel afraid or ashamed...#it's really sweet!!!#like ik y'all don't know a whole lot about the boys as kids (bc i'm v protective of them so i don't share a lot lol) but trust me.#dhes has come a long way.#genuinely feel like i have watched him grow & learn & change & it does. give me feelings.#n e way. that's it.
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hey i dont go here but jayce's speech about viktor in s2e9 isn't him saying 'u should never have tried to heal yourself, you were perfect the way u were x3' it was him saying that viktor's physical health never made him any less beautiful, never made him any less important, never made him any LESS, period. he wasn't saying viktor didn't need to pursue a cure for his ills like come on his motivation to invent hextech was to help people. to cure disease. viktor's first and foremost among them.
he said what he said because it was the thing viktor craved to hear most in his life, and that is why those were the words that punched through his defences even as the machine herald: jayce loved him wholly and unconditionally, healthy or ill, good or bad, human or inhuman. he would always be loved just the same.
#jayvik#arcane#like i said i dont go here but u cant slander my boy or that moment i wont stand for it#and yes as someone who is chronically ill i would know if it was ableist LOL (yes yes media is subjective but come the fuck on ppl i beg)#viktor's reaction to seeing inside jayce's mind really cinches it#he had fully given up on ever being loved in that way#romantic or platonic or some secret third thing whatever he had written it ALL off#so he is visibly shaken when he realizes that jayce LOVES (capital italicized underlined bold font) him and everything he is and ever was#jayce's love for viktor literally saves the entire world (also ekko W)#anyway if u wanted my onion i would say viktor didn't allow himself to consciously love jayce in return until that moment#like his need to have jayce be near him and work with him and approve of his actions even AFTER he loses his humanity is very telling#but i do think a lot of that was sort of his subconscious acting out deeply repressed desires#then when jayce confesses he finally understands (it was always about them)#anyway idk when we'll see another relationship like this in media again!!! holy shit!!!!!!!!!!
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Old doodles and shitposts of the Clock keepers because I miss them everyday
#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#aoi akane#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jibaku shonen hanako kun#I am just feeding myself tbh#but here if you are starving too#the first three were supposed to be a little comics but I gave up rip#those were done after chapter 110 for a lot of them#during this year I think#Idk when I will be able to post them otherwise so here we go#most of them ahah#sorry If I already posted some I don't remember#god I love them sm#my art#mirai#kako#mirai tbhk#kako tbhk#the seven mysteries#the redraw from chap 111 waqs clearly used for my 'killing art' illustration too lol#oops#the clock keepers love Akane sm you don't understand#tbhk fanart#hanako kun#jshk fanart#I need to have a level of 'igaf about coherence' and 'I miss those characters' to post rip anything rip#the three clock keepers#Akane would unirocally calls all the owls “Owl”
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remember that au i was talking abt (no)
basically if knuckles and dr finitevus ended up being the last echidnas for some reason so knuckles was pretty much raised by him
#knuckles if he was edgier and unhealthily paranoid#hes raised to think his sole purpose is to become enerjak “for the sake of his people”#he trusts and cares about finitevus a lot but finitevus don't gaf#lots of psychological bullshit going on#knuckles can never have a normal father figure#i love making my favs suffer yippee#not really related to any archie story i just stole the characters lol#knuckles the echidna#sonic the hedgehog#sonic au#idk what to call this#guh
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