#idk this scene is really emotional to me and I think thee point in time cas starts to feeeeeeeel
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Destiel Pride - Day 21; Most faithful mirror
#destiel pride#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#destiel art#spnfanart#wiggleart#I forgot this is a line in the Massive Attack song Teardrop haha but yeah I#thought about things that encompassed the whole song but I just then thought about mirrors and how it shows you yourself#and how Dean and cas faced similar issues specifically daddy issues lol#and family issues#and this scene from 4.16 was one of my favorites of theirs and imo one of their most important scenes that got them on the same page#this is the same episode cas is beginning to experience doubt#Dean tells him not to disappear on him while he’s talking to him#and how they both didn’t become the fathers wanted#well in cas’s case… Angel lol#so yah#idk this scene is really emotional to me and I think thee point in time cas starts to feeeeeeeel#idk. I love this scene a lot lol
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just felt like letting you know im makin my way through your spn bookmarks on ao3 and its saving my life 💚 do you have an ultimate-nothing-compares destiel faves from the bunch?
YES omg these are the fics that rewired my brain changed my life etc:
And this your living kiss (M, 56k): au where dean is a self deprecating former poet who used to write anonymously under the pen name jack allen. Now he’s finding his way back to loving poetry by taking a class at a college taught by professor novak… only he doesn’t know professor novak happens to be the number one jack allen scholar in the country. Amazing. Inspiring. I’ve reread it several times and it’s probably my favourite fic of all time
The cheapest room in the house (E, 89k): one of those fics whose writing i’m jealous of, it’s mind bogglingly good. And hot. The destiel grindr fic — cas downloads grindr and dean helps him. The rituals are SO intricate. But really, nothing i could say could do justice to how good this is.
Fenario (E, 47k): cas empty rescue fic. Certain paragraphs and scenes are just seared into my brain, amazing writing. I still think about “Cas’s legs give out and he pitches forward, falling the rest of the way into Dean’s lap in a mockery of a pieta” — that’s the point where i knew this fic was gonna become a fave
Right where you left me (E, 93k): cas comes back from the empty but it’s years later. He rings the doorbell and finds dean married. This fic was an event while it was still updating. Supremely well written and with an emotional maturity needed for the theme
Am I a man or am I a muppet (G, 7k): one of the funniest fics i’ve ever read. Dean wakes up as a muppet. Just roll with it! It’s crack, sure, but so good?? This inspired a scene in one of my gomens fics even
Burn this into your brains forever (E, 10k): to me this is an underrated fic for how funny it is. Fake dating between dean and garth but don’t worry, it’s a destiel fic
Half empty (M, 37k): more of a dean study. Reads like you’re dreaming and nothing makes sense. Dean is confused about everything. Kind of a mysterious vibe, excellent writing
There is rest for the wicked (G, 14k): sleepy, domestic dean. The destiel happens so…. Idk. Naturally. It’s a fic that really stays with you for a long time
Ninety one whiskey (E, 401k): one of thee destiel fics of all time. It’s famously a must-read and for good reason. A war fic, so quite heavy and not for everyone. But an absolute experience. I read the last few chapters in bed middle of the night tears streaming down my face. Simply iconic
A winter’s tale (T, 64k): this fic forever changed the way i see cas’ human arc on the show. Not super destiel-y but can be read that way. Again quite heavy. Northernsparrow is an excellent writer.
The dean winchester beat sheet (E, 144k): au where dean is in college and in complete and utter denial about his sexuality. So supremely funny. I will say this dean is not for everyone. But to me he is iconic and i think about certain scenes still. Forever changed the song i want to break free for me.
What has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? (T, 16k): basically uhhhh dean gets turned into an octopus. HEAR ME OUT. This fic will change you fundamentally as a person. It’s funny but also smart. A classic!
Maybe it really is the end (M, 2k): it’s short but there’s not a word out of place. Basically, belphegor taunts dean and cas while in the body of jack. It’s so good and so underrated. I think about it all the time
How a grocer watches dean pull his head out of his ass in seven days (E, 51k): destiel written from an outsider pov, a christian lady who’s easily scandalised and whose narrative voice is SO hilarious. One of the funniest fics i’ve ever read. Fake dating too!
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Okay 3/3 I AM SO SORRY! But i really wanted you to get the full gist of this since this was the episode that kind of started it all without him even realizing it.
‘..oh no offense to Brian but I would NOT sit on that swing set…haha that kid does not want that bat! He is an ally just like me and he knows the horrors! OH SHIT HE REMEMBERS! HE REMEMBERED AND BRIAN IS SO FUCKING WORRIED FFS CAN SOMEONE MAKE HIM ADMIT HES IN LOVE ALREADY BECAUSE I AM ONLY ONE MAN AND I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH!’ He is saying all this while looking at me as if its my fault the writers wrote this. ‘Im happy for mel and linds so no offense my dudes, but yall suck as a couple.’ Ive been waiting all episode for the last scene to happen and when i looked at him, he just put his hand up and shushed me. ‘oh bri bri was scared! What did i say?! He looooves him! Yeah Brian why didnt you tell him you tried to save him?! Ill tell you why: GUILT! He is feeling guilty bc he too has ptsd and yet nobody except me for some reason notices that and *points to himself* I am on many many many drug- oh they’re gonna fuck. Justin, are WE ready for this? Oh apparently we are. OH MY GOD THE SCARF! I FORGOT ABOUT THE SCARF! THE SCARF! JUSTIN IS BACK BUT HE STILL HAS IT! I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY WITHOUT JUSTIN BUT JUSTIN KINDA WASNT HERE EVEN WHEN HE WAS BC HES NOT THEE JUSTIN YET YOU KNOW? I SWEAR IM MAKING SO MUCH SENSE IN MY HEAD! He has the scarf!!! AND JUSTIN SAW IT! OH MY GOD THE SCARF! THE SCARF!!! *hits me repeatedly while just yelling the word SCARF! at me*, okay i am chill! I am calm! This is all normal! HE WANTS HIM INSIDE OF HIM?! OH THATS ONE WAY TO SAY IT! LIKE THE FIRST TIME?! OFC HE REMEMBERS! Brian..bri bri, idk how to tell you this my bro but what you’re doing right now is making love not fucking, so WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FIRST TIME HMMMM? Do we need to revisit the L word?! THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS WHILE MAKING LOVE! BRIAN WHO ARE YOU FOOLING BC IT SURE ISNT ANY OF US! ALEXA PLAY L-O-V-E BY ASHLEE SIMPSON! *alexa starts playing* OH SHIT i forgot you had that bitch, i was just messing, stop her she’s ruining the vibes for them! This my dear friend is making passionate love after a horrible even- OH MY GOD THE SCARF AGAIN! Im cool, im tota- actually i dont think im cool. That was..i need a cigarette’ he then went outside and when i looked out the window to see how he was doing, he was laying in the middle of the grass in a star position. It took him 10 minutes to come inside, and when he got inside he just went ‘i gotta call mom..but i told her im not watching it. I need someone to listen to my thoughts (OH IF ONLY HE KNEW) i know! Im gonna trick her into listening to me without her knowing whats it about so that way she wont know i watched it’ so there we have it: 1) he went through every emotion on the planet 2)i swear 1 ep takes over an hour to watch bc he keeps pausing/rewinding for “research” 3) our mom will for sure kill me and him too and 4) writing these is chaotic bc i do update the group chat while its happening and then later put it on “paper” for you but holy shit this is A LOT and i always feel bad hdjska
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE ANON
3/3
#ask winderlylandchime#dear sweet anon#a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023
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doing liveblog under cut again
hiphop girlie kendall is back <3
HUG AGAIN
roman got his hair re-nazied for the norway trip or what
shiv's lil outfit <3
lil personal info i got my period today and i'm crying at absolutely everything (like because ernie and bert have such a good relationship) and i Do Not understand what anyone is talking about in this scene
i'm not a tom fan i am however a fan of his cunty little turtleneck
roman hanging out of the window of the car like a golden retriever
has someone gifed roman smiling after they offer to kill tom because i need to reblog that 3,000 times
SNAKES ON A PLANE okay that was so lame that i laughed out loud
the soundtrack is so dissonant
TOM OF SIOBHAN SAMEEEEEEEE
i love romelukas as much as the next guy but matsson is so painfully straight with the entire hug situation
they all look so tiny in their little outfits
no sorries for lukas? uwu <- idk i immediately thought of miette but then. i like miette
succession is thee microexpression show
i think matsson is the most irritating guy on the show because he's the most like people who piss me off irl. like the ticket guy at the cinema who used to pull the ticket back when i went to take it and then said that i fell for it
roman's tummy hurts soooo bad rn
it's neither a good nor a bad thing but it's so weird to me that greg is greying
"da quad squad, da family" - "da fuck?" i think shiv could become an improv comedian if the whole waystar thing doesn't work out.. first negotiation 102 now this
"incestuös släktträff" lukas you do know that the crucial word there is the exact same in english right
i do love it when roman's eyebrows do the .\ ı /. thing
at this point i really hope shiv doesn't fuck lukas because she deserves so much better
VAULTER CALLBACK!!
krank is soo real they're so cute hanging out in front of the sauna
i think ebba is my new favourite character
noo ebba don't dance with greg ur so pretty aha
HUG
i wish i hadn't read about the blood thing before because what the fuck matsson lmao poor ebba
more people should tell greg to shut up
roy sib floor timee
poor connor having to do that shit alone. like it's not okay that he sends a picture but i get it he shouldn't be the only one to have to see that
kendall being like hey rome he's pissing that's your thing lmaoo
my head is too period-y to figure out what this means
i looooove jess' outfit
kinda love how reversed the sibs' emotions are in comparison with the last episode. it's shiv time babeeeey <3
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You just watched the potc for the first time FEEDBACK ??
HELLO yes I have finally watched it. After many years and watching half of the first movie like three times. I watched the pirate movies.
Here are some extensive thoughts for you while I avoid my current anxiety and responsibilities:
Overall?? They’re just. Okay. Like idk they’re alright. I liked them, like they weren’t bad, I just didn’t feel any strong emotions for most of it?? They were solidly okay. Sorry to the potc mega enjoyers rip
but since I’m bored and I love rambling here are some thoughts on the characters:
will - constantly serving looks but maintains the personality of a piece of white bread. sorry will like I’m sure there’s just some real depth there that I just didn’t care to search for but idc. he’s not rlly my type of guy and I knew that going into it, whatever. shout out to Orlando Bloom for being very pretty tho.
elizabeth - ohhhhh my goddd ohhh my god keira knightley is so pretty jesus fuck lord in heaven. I was literally just staring at her in every scene. god. no but seriously I liked her character a lot more than I thought I would!! Not that I thought I wouldn’t like her but I just figured I’d focus a lot more on Jack instead, but I was actually super into her she is thee only valid bitch in this whole movie series. I’m so mad that she just became king of pirates and then?? went home or something?? unrealistic. she should be the captain of the black pearl and rule all pirates, duh. no men are worthy of her actually.
jack - ohhh boy. let me tell you despite never watching these movies I STILL had such a massive crush on this guy when I was younger. he was like, the pinnacle of attractiveness in my mind. honestly my feelings haven’t changed much, I remain weak for smudgy black eyeliner. however?? actually liked him slightly less than I thought I would??? Idk I figured I would be super obsessed with him and nobody else but, eh. the thing about him is that like, I know that being unpredictable and morally grey is literally his whole thing, but it just kind of got boring after a while?? don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with characters who are backstabbing selfish little shits, I have a lot of experience with them, but in this case it just felt rlly tiring. I knowwwww we’re not really supposed to know what’s up with him but I think he could have used just a little bit more grounding as far as letting us into his head for like, five seconds. it just kind of felt like the writers were rolling dice as far as when he betrays people and when he decides to be a good guy out of the blue?? I never felt like I knew where he stood or what his motivations were. Again, I know that’s kind of the point, but, idk, the balance felt off to me. That’s just my opinion tho.
related point to another thing that didn’t really bug me per se but just felt funny - everyone’s undying loyalty to Jack that seems to just come out of nowhere??? I just felt like every single movie had the same thing where like, Jack is a selfish little shit who goes behind everyone’s back for 85% of the movie - maybe he does maybe one (1) good thing at some point - but then at the end of the movie everyone’s like ‘I would literally go to the ends of the earth to save this man’ and I’m just like??? Why????? What did he do for you besides like one good thing among many many annoying things? Don’t get me wrong, I do like Jack a lot, but as far as the actual characters in the movies, their motivation to follow this man into death felt kind of random. I felt like all of these movies were trying to sell Jack Sparrow to me as the Specialist Most Smart Amazing Man Ever but in truth he was just kind of some guy. idk. that was just amusing to me.
other miscellaneous thoughts:
Davy Jones is cool I was rooting for him a lot in the end :) honestly the entirety of the third movie I was just like CAN WE PLS GIVE HIM HIS HEART BACK ALREADY GIVE THE MAN A BREAK lmao. kind of wish he had a nicer ending tho :(((
Norrington was… there. Idk, I don’t have any really strong feelings about him, but I did like him in his final scenes. I can definitely see how he would be someone you could grow to appreciate a lot more after a few viewings.
I know Disney made them but I swear these movies could not pick a genre. One second it’s Scary Serious Pirate movie and the next it’s all kid humor, idk, I feel like they should have just gone with one or the other. I know that’s kind of their whole thing but it didn’t work for me personally.
That one fucking music bit. Not like the pirate music everyone always puts in memes but another bit. I can’t name a specific scene but god it slaps so hard. Every time it came on I ascended to another plane of existence.
The Black Pearl is so pretty <3 that’s it that’s the thought
Also fun fact about me - part of the reason I did not watch these movies for a while was bc I was rlly scared to watch them when I was younger, bc when I was a wee kid I accidentally walked in on a rlly creepy disturbing bit with Davy Jones while someone else was watching it and it rlly freaked me out. Honestly valid of little Sunny tho having watched that scene now again - shit really was gross. Especially for baby me :( that’s ok tho bc now I am strong 💪 and actually rlly enjoyed Davy Jones
sorry my feedback was mostly ranting I swear I did not hate these movies. I liked them and I felt very very bisexual while watching it 😳 but I am probably not going to watch the last two movies tho bc why did they even make more. I’m sure they are not that good.
#HI SORRY THIS IS SO LONG#I know u and abbey like it tho so I figured there’s no harm in me rambling a lot#ask box
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I ask this both for Baron Dark, Ariandel and SkekSo !
Give me a character and I will answer: @ben-the-hyena
Oh boy a triple feature! :D Here we go, folks!
Under a read more cause its going to get long but each listed character will be split apart evenly!
First up is Baron Dark!
Why I like them: He is just bombastic in personality! He lives loud in his actions and words, participating in most of the action himself while also showing he is a threat and menacing altogether! I also like that he is one of the few villains that shows he cares for his crew as a “family” (at least for most part of the series before being overtaken with obsession to have power more on his own). Given the dynamic we are given from the show, its obvious he cares and treats them all on a level of respect as well, something so rare to see nowadays! And I also enjoyed that his reasons to take over and do the shit he did in the series, “Because I can!” is just as refreshing and fun to see in a villain too! And again, his design is a top tier design I love overall! Its menacing, powerful, and outright amazing! Definitely adds to the character and how well he works in effect to keeping my attention! Like just look at that design! And his VA did a wonderful job of adding to that charm that is just delightful to see in his personality! Overall, he is totally a villain I would love to see more of in the future!
Why I don’t: I say my dislikes often fall on the usual tropes of a kid’s show of the 90s. He talks too much when he could be doing things himself and falls victim to the typical “I am too powerful” but doesn’t think of the obvious steps ahead that will be his downfall. But honestly, its so small I don’t find it jarring or that bad to be in the way! It was the 90s and aimed at kids at the time, so we can’t expect TOO much out of that xD
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Oh man, that’s a tough one cause every scene/episode Baron is in he totally slays it! Its either a tie from the first episode to the very last one cause the stakes of start and finish are so well done, I love it all!
Favorite season/movie: Obviously, the TV series is the best version of him! The comics sucked and turned him too OOC from what was initially given! Like how does one go from point A to be Z so freaking fast? xD
Favorite line: “Because I can.” Yeah, not gonna lie this was indeed my favorite line of his xD
Favorite outfit: Honestly, the outfit he gains near the end of the series is by far my favorite! Its like a mix of the Bejeweled Catacomb Saints and Mictlantechutli put in one and its befitting of the Baron given his gain in power!
OTP: Baron and Cyborn are my OTP and are married, fight me.
Brotp: Definitely Brotps with the rest of his henchmen though I see them more being like his adoptive children!
Head Canon: Baron is of indigenous background! I also like to headcanon that the white tuft/strands in his hair are truly his and have been there since birth! (I have so many more HCs for him but I will keep it short cause it can go all day x’) )
Unpopular opinion: Don’t think I have one, at the moment at least.
A wish: To have gotten more information/lore on him and the entire cast, honestly! I would have loved to see more of his character explored and what more he could have had to offer as a series main villain! Hell, the whole damn series had so much to offer! And just the relationships he has with the others and what more he could have done post season and before! So much potential there to be explored! I honestly would not be objecting to a reboot/revival or continuation of the series!
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Though with that said, if a reboot does come around, don’t turn it into the mess of current cartoons we have. Not that they are all bad but most of them have been very disappointing in keeping my attention and liking. Keep the same type of messages it had before! It worked beautifully as it did then and still does work now! I’d love to see the same formulas used while also updating it to be more gritty and mature like they did for Castlevania! Just... Don’t turn it into a cringe worthy mess that will ruin Baron and all the characters in the series! Don’t do what the comics did!
5 words to best describe them: Charmingly evil, badass, fun, conniving bastard, and menacing.
My nickname for them: Mega dork (affectionately speaking)
Next is Ariandel!
Why I like them: Oh boy, there is a lot to say in terms of why I like him but I will try to keep it short and simple for time purposes! His design is top tier for me! Like a rotting skull like face? Check! A monstrous body much like a bird’s? Check! And to add he is a giant Corvian, which are one of my favorite enemies in Dark Souls III! His personality also differs from the usual loud, bombastic, and proud characters I tend to gravitate for. Instead, he’s withdrawn and rather sad to look at and hear. You know he’s going through a lot but don’t know exactly what it is. In game, one can sort of get hints as to what has gone on behind the scenes but at the same time, its still vague and hard to really pinpoint what really did happen. So he has that air of mystery to him that I honestly adore in many characters as it leaves room to explore deeper into their lore! But I also find his personality relatable as well as sympathetic. But that’s just me, I can gush about him all day but I will cut it short here x’)
Why I don’t: To be honest I don't have any reason not to like Ariandel other then the small fact that he followed Friede and let the Painted World rot in such a terrible state. But that is so minor of an issue to me to really make a difference, lol. I adore this giant bird man!
Favorite episode (scene if movie): I have to say the scene where he ultimately snaps and breaks out of binds after seeing Friede's lifeless body before him is my favorite scene of his. The amount of pain and anguish heard in his scream and the way he moves prior and after; I can very much relate to that feeling. Sometimes, actions truly convey the emotions better in the most powerful means necessary. And this scene alone truly nailed it.
Favorite season/movie: He's only ever seen in the Dark Souls III DLC, so obvious answer points to the DLC!
Favorite line: "When the Ashes are two, a flame alighteth. Thou'rt Ash, and fire befits thee, of course..."
Favorite outfit: Uhh, he doesn't really wear any clothes save for his cape? So I guess the cape does him well as he is, though I always draw him without it xD
OTP: To be honest, I don't ship him with any canon characters within Dark Souls. Friede does not deserve him..
Brotp: Ariandel being best friends with the Ashen One is my ultimate Brotp! Just think of how much of a valuable ally he could have been!
Head Canon: I know his origins are debatable, as either theory I have for him can be plausible but I often lean more towards the idea of him being half Giant and half Corvian! IDK why but I just like it a lot more x’)
Unpopular opinion: While Ariandel is partly responsible for what happened to the Painted World, I still feel he was manipulated overall and probably at one point did have a change of heart before being forced into complete isolation. He plays more the role of the willing/unwilling accomplice then the actual perpetrator of the crime.
A wish: He could have had a happier ending without having to die for Friede. I know, its Dark Souls. Such a thing is expected to happen in the Soulsborne series but its a wish, right?
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: That anything beyond the infatuation he had for Friede took place. Just.. No. He loved her but never could ever have her in that sense and never did. Just no, she is horrible to him.
5 words to best describe them: Sad, lonely, birdman, withdrawn, and tragic
My nickname for them: Papa bird
And lastly for skekSo!
Why I like them: I think its as obvious as the case for Baron Dark. I like evil, smug bastards that shine through their wickedness and don't usually hold back. In the case of skekSo, I actually didn't care for him at first but then after my second viewing of the show, I started to like him more and enjoy his villainy! He's selfish, arrogant, vain, and conniving and I love it! Added that his design is really appealing to the eye and how he carries himself out, I gotta say he's one of the few villain characters from a show that makes the turn around for me to like them instead of hate them more. Also, his voice. Can NOT go wrong with that voice cause DAMN, its good and shows just how powerful a villain can be with a voice like his. And those eyes. Oh man, those eyes!
Why I don’t: Despite his villainy being the main point that caught my attention, its also a part of his downfall too. His constant greed and arrogance pushed him too far into doing what he did and ultimately cost him everything in the end; including loyal allies that end up dying for him in the long run. I hate how easily and quickly he changes his mind when actual logic is put into perspective of his plans and how quick he is to dismiss someone else when they don't please him anymore or things don't go his way for the smallest things. And yes, that is part of his character, I know that. That is what makes him as scummy as he is and why I love how trashy he is. But I also can't ignore just how easily he pushed skekVar away and believed skekSil despite knowing just what a lying bastard he is. IDK, it just feels too obvious but at the same time, it is what it is and I am not upset about it in the least x)
Favorite episode (scene if movie): Honestly, I enjoyed all the scenes with him in the show but mostly in particular with his interactions with skekVar, especially towards the end of the series. It showed a peak part of his vulnerability in his character that honestly I doubt he ever shows to anyone else. He spends most of his time pushing others around and making them fear him but with skekVar there is a sort of mutual respect going that really speaks out in a different way. Maybe I am just reading too much into it, but I always did enjoy how they interacted with one another!
Favorite season/movie: Well, skekSo didn't get much screen time in the movie other then him dying and turning to dust so.... Definitely enjoyed him more in the show then the film xD
Favorite line: "NOOOOO!" (Yes, this scene is still very infamous to me for personal reasons but the way he carried out his "no's" cracked me up each time xD)
Favorite outfit: Honestly, the main outfit he wore throughout the show. It's just so regal and goth, I love it! And as a goth and fashion enthusiast myself, I am all up for the style he has! The battle armor he wore near the end made it a tad more laughable to be honest.
OTP: I started shipping him with skekVar but ended up with an OT3 of skekVar and skekZok. So now all three of them live in a happy relationship with each other in my noodle~
Brotp: I see him being on neutral terms with skekMal!
Head Canon: I feel that even in the show it wasn’t seen or given, but he did feel a lot of remorse and regret after the loss of skekVar. He seemed very close with him and spoke with skekVar with more trust then he did the others. Perhaps in secret he did mourn the General’s loss.
Unpopular opinion: Does this count as an unpopular opinion? I know most people see him with just a few strands of hair but I tend to see him with a head full of long flowing white locks he keeps hidden beneath his clothes. It adds to the extra layer of vanity for a proud Emperor such as he! He looses it over time the darkening consumes him and withers down his health.
A wish: To see what he was like as an urSkek prior to being split up into a Skeksis and urRu. Yeah, I know people don't care or like the urSkeks all that much but honestly, I would LOVE to see more urSkek lore and see what it was that made SoSu so special among his peers. It was said, after all, he had a voice that could move the stars but was conflicted and consumed with darkness. Honestly, I want to know why and who he was prior to all of this mess! SkekSo even says in the show he still has nightmares of the life before so I wonder, what they were and how it was! So much potential here, man!
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I don’t think I have any of these to be honest? At least with skekSo. Not that I can think of on top of my head now.
5 words to best describe them: Proud, absolute piece of shit, pretty, conniving, and menacing.
My nickname for them: Stupid idiot
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*THE* mean-girl-dean-girl's Supernatural reboot MEGAPOST!
I'm gonna stick a little "keeping reading" here because hoooooo boy, this is a very long post.
Let's start with
Plot
Season 1
Dean kills John while they are out on a hunt in a crime of passion, but Dean doesn't remember because he blacked out. Cue Dean going to Stanford to get Sam and tell him "Dad's on a hunting trip... and he hasn't been home in a couple days."
The audience doesn't know what happened to John, but slowly figures it out with Dean and Sam as Dean slowly remembers what happened that night.
The entire first season, the boys are following the trail John left and fighting monsters as well. They find out Dean was with John, Sam realizes Dean has an unreliable memory, they have heart to hearts about their childhood and the fire, they find John's body, "how could you kill Dad?" but maybe Dean didn't kill dad, whooaaaaaa, misdirection.
It was actually good ole yeller eyes (Azazel) and he made it look like Dean killed John.
Okay, now let's move on to the first episode
Not sure how the opening would work, I would like the story of the fire to be revealed over the course of the first season, but maybe the opening scene could be a little bit of an establishing character relationships and backstory, idk, I haven't thought that far yet.
I'm thinking maybe it's like, Dean gets back to a motel room covered in blood and he listens to a voicemail on his phone from John saying he was on a hunt or something, I don't really know lol.
HOWEVER
I do know that after the intro rolls, we get a scene of Sam waking up to his alarm and "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton starts playing.
Y'all know where this is going.
Cue a montage of Sam's normal Stanford college life (him sitting through lectures, walking through the campus with friends) spliced with scenes of Dean absolutely slaughtering a nest of vampires (or some other monsters, whatever works best.)
But
Now onto
Characters!!! (And descriptions)
Dean Winchester
Some lovely person on this site made edits of Dean with platinum blond hair and it made me feel some kind of way so we're doing that, homie's gonna have platinum blond hair
Side note about the hair, later when the brothers are running from the FBI he dyes it a dirty blond/light brown (insert jackles hair color controversy here) as a disguise.
He also gets tattoos because we were robbed.
Speaking of tattoos, concept: when Dean comes back from Hell, all of his tattoos are gone. His body is a clean slate, devoid of tattoos, scars, etc. So he gets his tattoos done all over again, which he doesn't mind because he made some bad, drunk tattoo decisions in his youth.
(And before you ask, yes, he does get one for Cas, either a bee or Cas's name in enochian, something cute.)
Dean goes to therapy after Sam gets sent to the Cage.
It's actually court mandated because he got in trouble, lol, he would never go to therapy on his own.
Along with the hair, Dean gets to be the grade A twunk we all know he is.
Sam Winchester
His hair gets longer in every scene he's in
No jk, but imagine
King of Microaggressions
Sam starts off like the sweetheart he is in season 1 but in later seasons he starts enjoying killing a little too much...
It's that demon blood, ba-by!!!
He brings up issues of morality to Dean, i.e. killing monsters who aren't hurting anyone. (Yes I know this is contradictory to my previous statement, but these two facets of Sam can and will coexist.)
Sam and Jess's relationship is explored further, meaning we'll need to start with a different inciting incident, but that's fine, I think everyone can agree fridgings are *(thumbs down)*
Sam doesn't truly know what happened the night of the fire until later, and then he understands why Dean is so protective of him.
Jess
She gets to live beyond the first episode
She is also trans
No, I don't feel like I have to explain myself and I won't 💜
She urges Sam to join Dean in a search for their brother, kind of gets pulled into the hunter lifestyle by association lol.
She dies on a rusty nail after fighting vampires on a routine hunt with Sam
No jk!!!
But imagine....
She's amazing and I love her and Lucifer also uses her as leverage against Sam and possesses her because I think that'd be cool.
She supports Sam 100% and also she and Dean are buddies, pals if you will.
She meets Cas Thee El and immediately she Knows, that is a homosexual.
She dies still so that we can have a Saileen Endgame but she's not dying the first episode or in a fridging. Not on my watch.
Castiel
He gets to keep his raw, light-fixture-exploding power.
I want more of that "I pulled you out of hell, I can throw you back in" energy except over dumb shit like Dean not cleaning up after himself.
He looks like a Dilf in every scene he's in, yeah, that's right, dilf with a capital D for *(GUNSHOTS)* *(gets sent to horny jail)*
Claire
She gets pink hair
And more time with Cas
And maybe a nose piercing
Feel like she should be able to kill a couple angels onscreen, punch a couple homophobes
She gets to meet Jack and teaches him swears and fun slang words.
She deserves it.
Jack
I says "that's my baby and I'm proud."
Jack starts off as a baby, but like Amara he grows up super quickly.
Like, baby to 11 year old in a couple days or less.
This is because Jack's emotional age on the show is on par with that of a 5th grader.
It's at this point when he's a young kid that he runs away from the Bunker and shenanigans ensue.
It's also at this point that Dean threatens to k*ll him.
(Still not sure if I want that in my Supernatural (threatened infanticide? In my Supernatural? It's more likely than you think) but we'll see. We'll see.)
Throughout a majority of season 13, Jack is like an 11 y.o. kid
Season 14 he's like a 16 y.o. teenager
Season 15 he's 21, you get the picture.
Listen, I love Alex Calvert a lot. He's great.
But Jack is a child and should be a child.
Kelly Kline
Kelly, baby, stay right where you are, you're perfect.
Eileen
SHE DOESN'T DIE
SHE GETS TO BE IN THE FINALE BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZING AND I LOVE HER.
BLURRY WIFE WHO? I ONLY KNOW SAILEEN ENDGAME!
She teaches Claire and Jack swears in sign-language. Castiel is not impressed.
John
J*hn W*nchester stans, DNI.
He's dead.
We only see him in flashbacks and only sometimes hear his voice in voice overs.
He's not "down the road" from Dean in Heaven, in fact he instead gets to wander around in some Purgatory like Hell for the rest of his time :)
People who get to say "fuck" on the show:
Cas (but only Once)
Jody
Bobby
Now onto other things
I want more of
Ghostfacers
(they need more screentime because I love them)
Dean/Benny
We know they had a thing.
They definitely had a thing.
Demon Dean
Again, I feel like more should've been done with this. All that build up for what, 2 episodes? was not utilized well at all.
Dean's Bisexuality
Straight Dean truthers DNI, my Supernatural is a show about love and being true to yourself
You think Supernatural is a show about 2 straight brothers fighting monsters?
Naw bitch, this is a show about the Gay Experience
He will get to have relations with men on this show.
Of course, only after John dies does he, y'know, display it. Maybe he kisses Cas on his dad's grave just to fuck John over, make him roll in grave.
We all agree John would be/is a homophobe piece of shit, right?
Okay, glad we're on the same page.
Dads
3 men and a baby with Jack is what I'm saying.
I love it when the Trio are father-figures to younger troubled characters they see themselves in, even better if it's like reluctant-but-loving father figure, oh, that trope gets me every time :'^)
Dadstiel and DadDean are my favorites, but I like it when Sam plays "Uncle Sam" to kids too lol.
"Fellas, is it gay to want a tight knit family with your husband, his son, his vessel's daughter, your brother, his wife, your cop mother figure and her wife and their adopted daughters? Asking for a friend."
Garth
Biggest flaw of Supernatural was underutilizing Garth.
I will never not be bitter that Garth was only in like, 7 episodes out of the whole 15 season series.
Every episode with Garth gets immediately 5 times better.
I love Garth.
Follow ups on characters who had entire episodes featured around them and then just... vanished???
This is mostly about Jesse, the magic kid whose imagination ruled an entire town like, his daddy was a demon and nothing came of that kid??? Only one episode about him?? No follow up???
KID CAN MANIPULATE REALITY AND WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A FOLLOW UP ON THAT?????
Uh, there was that one episode with Ennis the guy whose girlfriend was killed by a monster? I think?? Who we never see again, that was weird.
Tamara from season 3, episode 1.
And of course-
Cassie
She was so cool, and then we never saw her again :////
She gets to be a badass.
Religious imagery
As a former Catholic school student who has become for the most part, disillusioned with religion, religious imagery in TV shows like Supernatural make my brain go "brrrrrr."
Fun episodes!!!
Like, after season 6 or so, there's a drop in funny episodes
I'm talking Changing Channels, The French Mistake type stuff. (Scoobynatural is an outlier and should not be counted.)
So anyway
In my version we would have more fun episodes
I'm thinking
GENDER-SWAP EPISODE, BABY!!
(why they didn't do that in the original, we'll never know.)
An episode where Dean gets to wear eyeliner
That's it, end of post.
I want less
Racism
Yeah I feel like this is self explanatory, nearly every reoccurring character in SPN is white, and black side characters normally die in the episode they first appear in, or they'll be featured as a villain (Uriel, Raphael, Billie, etc)
Also there's a lot of... uh... asian fetishism featured in the show (what with "Busty Asian Beauties) that's really gross, also Kevin was a bit of a stereotype...
Also also it's super yucky how they kill the gods from other religions like???? Uh??? That's super disrespectful, let's not do that????
I know Supernatural is like, inherently racist because monsters are a separate race that are seen as some dangerous "other" that must be eradicated by hunters in a form of genocide-
Okay we won't get into that but
Still
Stop killing all your POC
Fridgings/Unecessary murders of female characters
I know Supernatural starts with a fridging, so this will be a hard thing to remedy, but
One death that really pissed me off was the death of Charlie
Yeah, that was pointless and we're not doing that. Charlie gets to live and be an awesome aunt to Jack.
And also Claire
Charlie Bradbury Superiority
Charlie and Garth get to meet because they're nerd/geek solidarity.
British Men of Letters
I fucking hate these guys
They're "litcherally" the worst.
The worst part is that the actors they have playing the British AREN'T. EVEN. BRITISH.
And you can tell
Uh, and that's all for now, I'll add more later.
tag list for people who liked my "if this post gets one like I'll post my SPN reboot masterpost" post.
@darianyunidi @sarasidlesaid @crazybananaalpaca @playfulpanthress @ultfreakme @fififeelsmellow @heller-char @luna8eaton @princessmeganfire @insanebot109 @queenofnightsnow @mongoose-underthehouse
Thank you for the support, hope the wait was worth it.
#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#eileen leahy#jack kline#claire novak#john winchester#charlie bradbury#garth fitzgerald iv#jody mills#bobby singer#kelly kline#jess from spn#cassie from spn#destiel#deancas#saileen#saileen endgame#destiel endgame#long post#mean girl dean girl's supernatural#supernatural masterpost#mgdg's spn MEGAPOST
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Zenith: Chapter 76-79
Chapter 76
Andi has a nice little poetic nightmare. It’s irrelevant. The next morning has the girls preparing for the ball, complete with dresses and makeup.
Some things to note include Lira saying that in Adhiran religion (which is global, I guess), one has to mourn for three days before “letting” the souls of the dead pass on into ... everything.
Andi tries to say that it’ll take time to heal from it all, but Lira is having none of it.
“It will take time to move past what happened on Adhira,” Andi started, but Lira held up a hand.
“My three days of mourning have passed. Lon’s and my aunt’s, too. Now we, and the others who lost loved ones during the attack, must give the lost spirits to the stars, to the trees, to the wind.”
Which basically means that she’s done feeling bad about the unexpected and brutal attack on her home planet, so that’s convenient. Well, if one of our main characters doesn’t care about her people getting senselessly murdered, then why should we?
She also lets us know that her aunt has fixed up the Marauder and brought it here, because of course. Lira wants to arrange for Lon to be transferred to the Marauder, and though she has a logical reason for it (taking him home personally), it’s only a setup so we know why he’s on there at the end of the book when Andi’s bleeding out and needs a universal donor.
Spoilers, I guess.
Andi’s mother, Glorya, intercepts Andi as she tries to leave her crew to their makeover montages, just so we can move into a scene where her mom is brushing her hair and babbling on about gossip and vapid high society stuff.
But Andi, of course, gets lost in a flashback that’s so amateurishly written it’s honestly embarrassing and only highlights Shinsay’s helpless reliance on flashbacks as a storytelling device.
Observe:
Her words faded away as memories took their place. Andi lost herself to them.
The whole flashback is written in italics for some inexplicable reason, even though it would’ve been fine as just regular text since we’re clearly told what’s happening now and what’s a memory.
Also, there’s one bit where the memory “fast-forwards” to a different one. Shinsay, this isn’t a fucking movie. This isn’t a screenplay. What the fuck are you DOING.
The flashback and the mother’s inane babbling are all there to illustrate how vapid and brainless Glorya is and how she only ever cared about her status and not about her kid. Glorya pretends that everything is back to the way it was but Andi curses her out for abandoning her when she needed them most and how “the way it was” was actually always shit.
I mean it’s fine. It’s all right. I see what they’re going for, it’s melodramatic as all fuck but it works for what they’re trying to do? I can see this as being a realistic way for an emotionally neglectful family to look like. I wish it was more nuanced and wasn’t just shoe-horned in here (Glorya doesn’t show up before or after this bit, this is the only time she’s ever present or even mentioned in this book in any meaningful capacity) for the sake of making Andi’s friends look better and for her to not have anything that anchors her to Arcardius, but like, I won’t say this isn’t realistic.
And then Shinsay can’t stop themselves and it’s back to silly time:
“Really, Androma...”
[...]
“That is not my name,” Andi whispered. She allowed the darkness to come up into her voice, the mask of shadow and steel to sweep across her face. “My name is the Bloody Baroness. And if you or Commander Racella ever so much as utter a single word toward me or my crew again, I will personally strip the skin from your body and wave it like a flag from my starship.”
Glorya let out a soft squeak. Andi snarled with all of her teeth.
Guys I can’t breathe this is too fucking funny. And not in a good “woo vindication!” sort of way, but in a “they really put this right after an emotional confrontation about parental emotional neglect/abuse huh?” way. They really thought this was ... badass? Revenge? Andi, sweetie, you’re, like, traumatized? Presumably? I can’t really tell. But maybe get some therapy?
Do Shinsay think this is somehow a win and that Andi’s threat means she’s fully released from the hurt and pain her parents have caused her through their neglect? It’s honestly written as if Andi just confronted her mother and her own hopes of coming back to her family in this one short scene, and then upon realizing her parents never loved her, she scares her mom a little and then is all smug and satisfied at the end.
That ain’t how it works, darlings.
Then the annoying Marketable Space Pet runs in and starts biting Glorya’s toes and she runs away shrieking like a defeated Disney villain.
Way to undercut your own drama, Shinsay.
The chapter ends with Andi thinking about how her crew is her True Family for the bajillionth time. Because we’re all idiots and Shinsay wants us to remember that.
Chapter 77
It’s the evening of the ball and Andi thinks about how she missed Bavista, which is apparently your generic coming-of-age ball held at Arcardius for every 16-year-old. I’m guessing it’s a yearly thing? The book never clarifies. Not sure why the fuck it’s here tbh.
Actually, it’s a pretty good demonstration of how the worldbuilding in this book is presented so here, have at thee:
She could still remember seeing the otherworldly dresses and suits float by her on the feeds as she watched the girls and boys glide into the A’Vianna House in the Glass Sector. They seemed light as air, full of pride, bursting at the seams with excitement. Once inside, they would be greeted by members of the Priest Guild, who would award each young person three items.
The first was a vial of water from the Northern Ocean, symbolizing strength. For growth, they accepted a single leaf from the oldest tree on Arcardius, known as The Mother, which was said to have been planted when the Ancients first arrived. Lastly, they were given a single floating pebble, no larger than a child’s fingernail, chiseled from the very gravarock where the Cortas estate was. It represented the wisdom of rising above.
Is this relevant to anything? Does this help you understand this world or its inhabitants? Does it tell you anything of the culture of Arcardius or its youth and what’s expected of them? No? It’s just a really generic list of things thrown together using Mystical Proper Nouns as glue? Weeell heeell.
Also what does “it represented the wisdom of rising above” mean? This is utterly generic and means fuck-all, that’s what.
Anyway, Andi’s admiring herself in the mirror. Her dress is very sexy, trust me, I can’t be bothered to include it so just imagine your favorite My Immortal outfit description. It does include sword holsters at the back, which are Andi’s favorite part, because she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man. She never actually uses them or brings the swords to the ball so ... Idk what the point of this was.
We also get some shit about how Andi actually LOVES dresses and being pretty but she never admitted it to anyone. But don’t you worry, this badass space criminal LOVES all things girly, because that’s feminism! Can someone check in on Shinsay? I’m not sure they’re getting enough air with their heads so far up Sarah J Maas’ asshole.
Admitting to herself that she looked pretty was something Andi kept private. She didn’t want to give her crew the satisfaction of knowing her true thoughts about fashion. How even though she was a fierce, hardened criminal, she could still appreciate the joy of a beautiful, impractical ball gown.
Huh. And here I thought they were your family. That’s weird that you’d keep this information from them, especially considering all of them seemed pretty excited to be prettied up in the last chapter. I guess they’d really just haaate the idea of sharing this joy with their captain, huh? Why aren’t you admitting this to them, Andi?
You’re saying shit about how “even though” you’re a hardened criminal, you can “still” appreciate beautiful gowns, like those two are somehow contradictory. Are you, mayhaps, ashamed of having this traditionally girly interest? Hmm! Interesting. Why could that be, I wonder? Why would having traditionally feminine interests or even caring about one’s appearance be seen as something inherently shameful or embarrassing, as inherently contradictory to being fierce and “hardened?”
This is all just so *clenches fist* feminist.
Forreal though, somehow Shinsay managed to take their entire made up GALAXY and make it subtly and not-so-subtly sexist. Good job, morons. Really girlbossed that one, huh?
The only bit I like about this whole mess is this:
The dressmaker had also accented her gown with a sparkling necklace full of jewels that Andi didn’t plan on giving back.
This is the one and only space pirate-y thing Andi does -- sorry, considers doing -- in the whole book and honestly could’ve been used to build her character more, but it’s just a one-off joke here. Wasted.
Valen comes to fetch her and we get some subtle foreshadowing.
“Valen the Resurrected.”
He stopped to look at her, brows raised. “What?”
She shrugged. “It’s what the press is calling you in all the feeds.” Valen let out a deep chuckle.
[...]
“Something tells me things are about to change for the better,” he said. “I’m ready to see it all happen.”
Andi wondered what he would do now that he was home with a whole planet at his disposal.
He deserved to have some fun.
Is it bad that I’m rooting for Valen to destroy everything? And this isn’t my villain-fucker coming out, I just want this poor bastard to absolutely annihilate Andi and her gang of acolytes.
Chapter 78
Andi and Valen arrive at the ball. It’s all very pretty and space-y and aesthetic. There’s a bunch of aliens everywhere. Andi sees a woman with funky eyes and assumes it’s a body mod, because I guess she knows the genetic characteristics of every species by heart and can tell when something is real or not.
An old classmate of theirs comes up to talk to Valen and congratulate him on being alive, then Andi reminds him of who she is just to be a smug asshole and the guy fucks off in a panic. She’s just so cool and badass, you guys.
Then it’s time for Valen and Andi to dance, and of course General Cortas looks like he’s about to lose his marbles because these darn kids! >:(
The chapter ends on Andi noticing Dex pouting in the distance.
“Relax,” Andi whispered. “Let’s give them something to talk about.”
She flashed him a wicked grin as the music began.
And as Valen spun her into the first move of the dance, Andi saw Dex standing on the fringes of the crowd, an expression of longing clear on his face.
Chapter 79
This chapter is exactly 298 words of Dex moping around about how he’s actually not over Andi at all when he thought he’d done such a good job of repressing his feelings, and how he should be the one dancing with Andi instead of Valen. If you’re surprised, you’re clinically dead.
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hi!! i was wondering if you had any tips for writing smut?? i’m terrible at it and would love some of your h o l y advice <3
hi!! of course! i’m so so sorry this is so late! it’s been a busy (and emotionally exhausting) few days but i hope whoever sent this still sees this!! it’s sort of a mess but *hopefully* includes something helpful.
i’m going to put it under the cut though just in case:
first i want to link this super helpful smut writing 101 post that’s my go-to for providing references. it’s what helped me a lot when i was first attempting to write smut back in my first fic and was intimidated about where to start! in my opinion, it’s really thorough so i highly suggest giving it a read!
this one is also rather helpful! i got it from the @bottomlouisficfest writing tips tag which is another great place to look for writing resources and tips if you ever need any!
i don’t want to repeat what’s been said in those posts (probably way more eloquently than i could ever attempt) but i’m still going to list a few things that i tend to keep in mind/do when writing smut. just want to emphasize real quickly that there’s no “one correct set of rules” for writing smut and i’m surely not the single expert (or even an expert at all, lol) so read this and if something resonates with you, keep it mind, but if you disagree, then that’s fine too! it’s your writing and it should be what you want/like first and foremost.
now for the actual “tips” :
- analyzing smut scenes that you’ve thought to be “well-done”
just want to clarify that ‘analyzing’ never in a million years means ‘copying.’ all words you put down on that document should be 100% your own - i shouldn’t even have to explain that. but when you’ve never written smut before (or you have but not frequently), looking at smut scenes that you deem to be successful is a great way to get an idea of how to set up a scene. look at what they focus on and emphasize, how they balance description and dialogue, and how much they delve into the sensations/actions.
i can say pretty confidently that no one who’s never read a smut scene will be able to write a (good) smut scene, so read!! read and learn from what you read!
- be clear about what kind of scene you want to write
1. intent/purpose
what is the intent of this scene? okay, that sounds a bit confusing - it’s smut. the purpose is pretty much always going to be achieving intimacy between the characters, and/or portraying dynamics/etc but make sure you’re achieving those goals when writing smut/smut scenes. i know it may seem like you have to add smut to every fic you write (and i know i’m not one to talk considering all my fics so far have included - and some of them a lot of - smut) but it’s not a requirement! if you don’t want to write it or you don’t think it fits in with the story, don’t force it!
that being said, there is usually a “point” to the scene. sometimes people use smut as a plot device which is fine too (creating drama/angst - like fwb where one is pining or something like that - IDK) but you should know what that intent is before you write the scene so it aids your goal rather than contradicts it or worse, confuses reader. this sort of relates to the 3: atmosphere too so i’ll come back to this!
2. language
depending on the type of scene you want to write, your language and prose should reflect your intent/goal from before.
- cock vs other words: this one is less about the intent, and more just about language choices in general. ‘cock’ is the most widely used word for ‘penis’ in smut scenes for a reason, so i highly suggest using it. i know people don’t want to be repetitive so they try to use multiple words, but ‘cock’ is seriously your best best. if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it, and all that. ‘dick,’ ‘length,’ and maybe ‘shaft,’ or ‘prick,’ can be used too depending on the circumstances/atmosphere (for example, i’ll only use ‘dick’ in fics where the smut is “dirtier” because imo it stands out as a bit more crude?)
- come/cum: this is a differentiation that varies from writer to writer but what i personally tend to do is ‘coming/come’ for the verb and ‘cum’ for the noun. even then, i typically don’t use ‘cum’ in fics where the smut is less dirty, more romantic because again, it’s more ‘crude/dirty’ than the counterpart - once again, people’s opinions on this vary though, so think about what flows better with the type of scene you want to write.
and some more general writing tips: be precise with your word choice (this is actually sort of related to the above two things as well but i felt those needed to be separate dhjdkd) - words like ‘gripping’ and ‘grasping’ while seemingly being the same, tend to denote slightly different meanings, at least for me when i read! ‘gripping’ is more firm while ‘grasping’ is more desperate. things like this also connect to atmosphere but it’s language so i’m keeping it here!
some words/phrases that i keep in a list and that also may give you a good idea of the kind of writing that’s typical to smut scenes are: pumping fingers in vs fingers pressing in (those two also have different meanings/pictures), hips snapping forward vs hips drawing forward (again! it’s all about word choice), nails cutting shapes into the skin of his back, slow drag of his hips vs ramming in, cock thick and pressing deep, pushing deep with agonizing precision, fingers grasping helplessly at the sheets, toes curling into the mattress, skin slick with sweat, throat fluttering with every breath, head lolling back, body going slack, heart racing/thundering in his ears, etc etc.
think about the five senses and what the characters are feeling. think about the dynamic between them. all of that should be reflected in the writing style (and oftentimes already is, just subconsciously, but it never hurts to be aware).
3. atmosphere
in other words, is this scene meant to be romantic? dirty? is it more light-hearted or intense? these are things that should impact the way you write the scene. if i’m writing a romantic smut scene, then i’ll pay less attention to the actual acts itself and more to the emotions and tenderness behind it. there’ll probably be more metaphors (but also: never overuse metaphors because that also gets confusing) and sweet nothings being whispered in comparison to a scene with lots of dirty talk and more significance to the physical aspect (it’ll also probably include rougher sex in comparison to sweeter, slower sex).
if it’s a more light-hearted scene, consider adding elements such as humor to enhance that goal/intent (see, they’re back!) it’s all about what you want this scene to accomplish in the reader’s eyes!
just some other quick things: when you have multiple smut scenes in a fic, it can be hard to not get repetitive but you also don’t want them to be too similar. as a general recommendation, differences between scenes shouldn’t come from language or anything like that, but from things like setting or content (positions, actual sexual acts, etcetera). if they fuck in a bedroom twice, then maybe change it up - make it the shower or against the wall next time. and again, the atmosphere! switch it up!!!
also remember that you don’t have to include penetration to write a successful/satisfying smut scene! there’s plenty of other things your characters can do to get off and establish intimacy. i think one of the above resources mentions it but you also don’t always have to include the foreplay or every single step for the smut scene, especially if there’s already been a smut scene with all of those components. obviously, make it clear that the prep occurred already and that they’re being safe, etc, but you don’t actually have to show all of that stuff if you don’t want! and contrastingly, if there’s only one smut scene and it’s a longer fic, feel free to include more of the foreplay/build-up!
- balancing physical and emotional aspects
this one depends again on what type of scene you’re writing but it’s also good general advice. you don’t want to write a smut scene that glosses over all the physical aspects and just focuses on the feelings of a character to the point that you have no idea what they’re even doing but you also don’t want the opposite.
one thing i try to do is keep the descriptions of movements/actions to a minimum - that’s majority of what gets repetitive when you start to have multiple scenes in a fic and sometimes it includes unnecessary explanations for things. that isn’t to say you shouldn’t make sure the reader understands what’s going on (this is why watching porn is helpful - so you can see the best way to describe different positions and how bodies are moving in relation to each other. i know a lot of people don’t like porn but if you can tolerate it, this is literally one of the best ways to see visually what you want to write).
- dialogue
okay this wasn’t initially part of my list, but i just wanted to make a small note on it! dialogue during smut is honestly one of the most intimidating parts, at least in my opinion but a general rule to follow if you’re like me is: less is more.
and again!! dialogue should reflect the type of scene you’re writing. dirty talk is vastly differently from sappy compliments and you can have both in one, but thee has to be a balance!
dialogue is also one of the best ways to differentiate the participating characters and establish their dynamic. this goes beyond dialogue actually, but this whole post is unorganized at this point so let’s go with it. no two characters will act the same during sex! some are loud, some are quiet, some are dominant, and some are submissive. and guess what? that shows through when they talk!! things like begging, teasing/taunting, praising, and other verbal components all tell you something about the character so keep that in mind too!
also not quite dialogue but still verbal so sounds! things like whimpering, whining, gasping, groaning, moaning, grunting, growling (if it’s abo... or one of them just likes that sort of thing), and also screaming/yelping/crying out are all things that are regularly seen in smut scenes.
- practice!!
this may go without saying but i’m still going to say it. the only way to get better at something is by doing it again and again and the more you do it, the more you’ll learn and improve and the easier it’ll get. it may seem daunting right now but eventually it’ll be like second nature. the first full smut scene i ever wrote was literally less than a year ago (march, i believe) and i’ve written many many since then, some better than others, all showcasing new knowledge and techniques that i may not have utilized before. i honestly don’t even want to reread that first scene but i also know i don’t have to reread it to know i’ve improved a lot since then and so can anyone!
i have absolutely no idea if this is helpful or not but hopefully it is in some small way?? if you or anyone has any more specific questions that i can maybe help with, let me know! and sorry again that this is so unbelievably late!
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eps2.5h4ndshake.sme
Mr Robot: Season 2 episode 7
Episode and character analysis
This episode is about connecting but also about deceiving.
—
Joanna
—
The episode starts with a flashback, constructed to not look like one at first (I think this mirrors the bigger reveal at the end up the episode “things aren’t as they appear”).
Joanna looks to have brought in a Sephora bag with her (idk what other places use that stripe design on bags) and a gift has been left on the counter which contain earrings, she can be seen wearing once we jump to the present (She keeps part of Tyrell around, the things he was able to provide her with. The gift giving between them is they’re like way of showing affection. This can’t happen in the same way between her and her new lover, but she’s also willing to commit to him (for now). She even gives him a gift for his birthday to show that.) (Birthdays come up like twice in this episode and I’m not sure why but it means they’re cancers.)
This whole scene is very WHITE, even Tyrell is wearing a bright suit, and everyone at the work party is as well wears white/light gray. White is fairly symbolic of the upper class for several historical reasons, it could also represent a purer time within their relationship. Yet another thought I had goes to the rule about Labor Day, the history of which stems from creating inner class divisions between old and new money. The “rules” which determine being an insider or not. Contextually I think this makes some sense, it could even be a Labor Day event (Joanna getting back from Labor Day shopping at Sephora?). At the party The Wellick’s and the Knowles’ talk with Price who mentions Tyrell’s climbing of positions towards CTO. Him (and Joanna) becoming more a part of the “exclusivity” being introduced through Price to others within his circle like Knowles. (It’s their sort of “handshake” if you will.)
Outside the flashback, present. An old woman comes up to Joanna and spills blood (I imagine pigs blood) on her and runs away. (Definitely a Carrie reference)
“Capitalist pig!”
All the purity of the white she wears stained, her relationship with Tyrell stained, all the things she once had dreamed of having stained, because of blood (Sharon Knowles), and now there is literal blood on her as well. (Also the title card is so good)
—
Joanna is in her home, drinking wine, staring with a mixed emotion down at a photo of an ultrasound. She’s still getting these gifts from “Tyrell”, she has intentions on finding him despite finding herself tied to her new lover (She’ll later say out of all the gifts the ultrasound made her the wettest). (Through Joanna we’re led to believe Tyrell is alive (and he is but she’s not getting presents from him), but Robot says he died because they killed him so it’s a huge whats what. (Elliot doesn’t know about stage 2 or Tyrell being involved and Robot wants to keep it this way.) At the moment we ask if we believe Robot or the presents from Joanna? Turns out neither are entirely truthful. This all becomes answered in the 2 part finale. (This season deals a lot with deception, illusions, and lying.)
—
Joanna is in bed with her lover, she seems to be reenacting the Sharon Knowles choking fantasy (yikes). Derek (I keep not saying his name but it’s Derek.), wants to invite Joanna to his 30th birthday party and Joanna says she can’t come. If she doesn’t come, Derek says she’ll break up with her. Joanna seems taken about this. I think she does enjoy Derek, but I don’t think she enjoys the conditions of this relationship. She knows she’s a potential target so can’t risk going public with this relationship.
—
Joanna doesn’t show up to the party but is at his home waiting for him. It’s revealed here Joanna met Derek at the e-corp party (a nice parallel between Joanna and Tyrell during that party. One walked out with a relationship and the other walked out well… you know.). She’s filing for divorce and this is her “handshake” with him. (This later leads to her demise)
Beaten and Bruised
—
(Rami’s acting (THE BREATHING) in this scene gets me)
Robot props up Elliot and they then do more of a hold hands than a shake. Connection is seemingly being authorized at long last. He talks about handshakes; Initialized connections between two points of access. (Tech lingo.)
He says this to us:
“Hello. I see you, I recognize you, I acknowledge your existence. Let’s talk. Get to know who each other really are. All of this said with the simple act of a handshake between two people.”
He then goes on and says he “Doesn’t know how to follow the rules.”
What he’s about to say to Robot may breaks the rules of this new connection they now seem to have (Robot going that extra mile to protect Elliot from the beating)(Elliot then accepting that Robot is able to help him and they don’t have to fight).
What he mentions is Tyrell, and Robot is agitated that Elliot is hung up on him, but an agreement gets made through negotiation that gets Robot to finally say something in order to fill in those gaps of memory he doesn’t have. (So connection has been made, but it’s gonna be a false trust.)
“P-Popcorn” is the last thing Elliot remembers. (Popcorn is one of those repeated items in the show that connect back to moments in Elliot’s past. It may be a stretch but I think popcorn symbolizes the pretense of dying, given where we see it. It’s a weird irony of having death lie below the surface of whats usually seen as something fun or delightful.)
—
While talking Robot is lying to Elliot that they killed Tyrell (This would simultaneously be making that phone call they had unreal to Elliot’s mind, another part of the illusion. This will later make him think Tyrell IRL is not real). My best guess as to why Robot kept all of this is he figures that Elliot would NOT want what stage two is to happen, and it most definitely needs to happen or Dark Army would be pissed = bad new for them. Robot is once again playing the long game with Elliot to get him to fall for something. This conflict will continue to build, so yes this is the opposite of a handshake happening here, “Rules” broken. However he tells part of the truth about that night up until the point of “shooting” him, probably because Elliots picking up on bits and pieces of it and saying things that didn’t happen would break the fact Robot is lying to him. (He also isn’t looking to fight him because they’re finally working together and Robot’s been wanting that.) (Should read that Elliot is finally starting to trust Robot because of this btw. Like a relationship of trust appears to have been formed here, a perfect handshake. But who’s betraying trust now?)(My other guess is that Robot just wants to see out his plans alone W/O Elliot getting in the way)
—
Elliot gets moved back to Ray’s office. He’ll need a few hours to “move the site.” He’s planning on exposing Ray site, opening it up for more than just TOR traffic, opening it up to the public, in the next scene we see the traffic on the site is booming. To make things easier, he also emailed the FBI an anonymous tip. (Rays move was to let Elliot live and let him turn him in.)
Elliot negotiates a game with Ray and he confesses he never actually knew what was on his site, but Elliot made him look. (Not sure what exactly about Elliot compelled him but Ray talks about Elliot highly because of it.) (Rays sorta a toss at the end (?), morally ambiguous. He never actually knew what was on his site but he’s definitely not oblivious. He ultimately decides he should pay for his crimes. Elliots conversations previous seem to indicate confusion on Ray being a good or bad person, I think the guy sort of did enable all that shit to happen so like nah.)(He was also using Elliot for what he wanted out of him, this seems to be a repeated thing with Elliot and various ppl.)(Seeing him for what he can do for them instead of him as his own person.)(Characters like Darlene or Leon (who live) do seem to see Elliot for who he is.)
“You are my answer. It’s not the other way around. So thank you.”
Elliot quotes: “When you see a good move, look for a better one.” -Emanuel Lasker (World champion chess champion) (Elliot knows a lot of chess factoids) (What’s Elliots good move and what’s his better move?)
“Mr.Robot was a part of me that I created because of my pain. So now we have a chance to start again. Our handshake negotiated us as partners.” (Just a good line)
—
Elliot and Leon talk on the court, Leon mentions that Elliot has to watch out for people. The white guys show up to mess with Elliot but Leon does’t budge when asked. They had stock in Ray’s site and want payback. They definitely don’t feel like starting anything with Leon around.
“Just remember cuz, your sitting under the sword of Damocles.” - the imminent and ever-present peril faced by those in positions of power. (Leons word choice is always very nice)
—
There’s been some time since the last scene, Elliots wounds are better. We are in Church group the leader reads from Dueteronomy 12:29 - “When the Lord thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;”
I’m not gonna say I’m a bible expert by any means but it’s a big metaphor for “curiosity killed the cat”, to guard oneself against sinful curiosity and thereby betraying god by falling for errors in judgment; or else. Seems befitting enough to Elliots situation. (“Curiosity killed the cat”, Both in prison when his itch gets scratched with Ray landing him in a bunch of painful situations and at the end of the season when his curiosity towards Robot’s possible plotting leads him towards Tyrell who eventually has to shoots him.(thing is these were just curiosities)) (I can see this being VERY relatable to WR. She wants the Congo, and its her errors in judgement that make for her undoing.(These are more sinful))
—
There’s conversation then had between her and him about being fearful and vigilant as good, because it means gods present with him (IDK church stuff). The church lady thinks he speaks to Jesus/God, “If you let Jesus into your heart he’ll always listen.” (Jesus can be read as a prophet, Robot calls himself Elliot’s prophet), Elliot ends up speaking to Robot.
This is a continuation of this thing between them, “I was supposed to be your prophet, but you were supposed to be my god!” (Robot; season 1 episode 10), but also "Mr. Robot has become my god, and like all gods, their madness takes you prisoner." (Elliot; season 2 episode 3).
(It would take longer than an single episode analysis to unpack the religious themes in this show but I’ll say a few things.) The show is seeped with these religious themes everywhere, I’m still piecing sense together about it. It’s probably some way of saying the forces of life are mysterious at times, we can’t always understand them and yet they carry an amount of power over you. And that Powerful people are like gods. Gods are about to create things but they’re also able to destroy. They may guide you and they may also control you. God may be symbolic of power itself. Deciding who are the gods and masters and who are the men? Whoever has control over the world is he god? Should anyone be allowed to be?
Elliot doesn’t believe in god but Mr.Robot he can talk to and needs to talk to. He needs to know what it all means to work together as partners. Elliot has decided that they need to continue with their work, yet doesn’t know if he like’s what robot has to offer about it. Robot tells him Elliot is actually a leader, that he led the entire world into a revolution. Robot says he follows him simply because he does lead.
“I don’t want to be a leader.” (Probably has some preconceived notions on leaders being terrible people, but also might not feel he’d make a good leader given who he is)
Robot says to get anything done with E-corp it’s gotta have to happen like that.
This conversation between them seems like more metaphor to me, Elliot must sacrifice what he wants (not to be a leader) in order to move things forward to change the world and Jesus had to make a similar decision on sacrifice. (Whats weird about this scene though is how nothing seems to play out of it, after Elliot gets out he’s more of less on Ecorp’s side in order to prevent destruction. And wondering if Robot is even saying anything of truth here or if he’s simply further deceiving Elliot this whole time that they can work together on finishing things.)
—
Book burning: Elliot burns his journal because he doesn’t have any use for it anymore. Hot Carla and him stand and watch over it while he smokes a cigarette. (In RedWheelbarrow Carla has taken this apparently during some kind of riot. I think it’s this riot that lets the next thing happen without any guards coming by)
Attack: The racist white guys make their move on Elliot. They (the main guy) say they’re gonna “fix that courage problem of yours”. Robot takes all the punches for Elliot (King). (TW) They’re definitely taking off Elliot’s belt when they turn him around (fuccck)(TY Leon). Leon does his blade action and saves Elliot then we get the reveal.
“Gonna get a letter on Tuesday, do what it says.”
*stabs a guy in the ass*
“Hey yo man, when you see Whiterose. Make sure you say I did you good.”
*yanks his knife out of said mans ass*
“I’ll be rooting for you cuz, Always.”
Elliot’s in shock (who wouldn’t be?) (This establishes a lot between Elliot and Leon, I think it forms a true trust, but its one met with uncertainty)(This can be paralleled with Robot’s in a way, forming a false trust met with more certainty.)(…Don’t read much into what I say lol.) (It’s nice that ultimately both these connections do end up sticking around.)
—
Krista reads over Elliots release notice. (Tuesday I assume)
“But you were right, you can’t destroy a part of yourself.”
Elliot’s mentioning his “reality” the construction of prison as his moms place (perhaps little on the nose on how it was in the real house). Krista makes sure he hasn’t actually fallen into believing the delusions and we finally get the reveal that this is a prison (Honestly how did I not pick up on this sooner in the first watch?).
“Sometimes control can be an illusion, but sometimes you need an illusion to gain control. Fantasy is an easy way to give meaning to the world. To cloak our harsh reality in escapist comfort. After all isn’t that why we surround ourselves with so many screens? So we can avoid seeing?” (This line plays into a lot of things besides Elliot’s illusion. You could relate Price’s negotiations with the government to “make people believe” to this. You could relate Ray to this. You can relate Angela’s persona of professionalism to this. Whiterose’s machine gets references as a fantasy or something along those lines. You could relate Religion into this. All of them put on “masks”, or make others put on the masks, some avoid seeing and others think they see but they don’t. Ultimately every single one is trying to cope and grapple with life. And wearing them makes it possible to fight for the control they want (or are forced to want…))(I love the way this show messes with perception)
==
Angela / FBI / internal work
Dom tries to get something out of Angela about why she was on the FBI floor. Angela tells her about her Lunch plans. Dom (still pushing) expresses her curiosity about her job history, then mentions needing a statement from her before leaving. (She seems to be trying to fish for a reaction.)
Angela doesn’t react much, but she seems to falter towards the end, Dom says “Whatever this is? It isn’t like you,” and leaves.
Angela then completes connection to the wifi. They now own the FBI.
As part of this all security footage data is is corrupted on E-corps security cameras, a total wipe. Dom is present on the scene and suggests looking at Angela Moss’s computer. It’s the 3rd of July. (This Op later proves to be fairly pointless on FSociety’s end of things. The real ones who gain anything from this are DA.)(and because people keep perceiving that they have any control over what happens things end up worse.)
—
Angela is in a taxi on her way back home the night of the pwn. The TV in the Cab tells us how things are escalating, we get hints of switching over to e-coin, and suggestions that more services are beginning to stop.
Angela sees Darlene waiting outside the building. Angela hasn’t picked up any of Darlene’s messages or calls which is why she’s there (Angela’s pissed after finding out about Cisco).
We get what Angela has been piecing together throughout this entire time, she sorta knew at the beginning but also didn’t want to admit her friends would do something like this. She understands they’re hackers and could do something like this, but wasn’t able to admit 5/9 was them up until a certain point. Cisco certainly confirmed any unresolved ideas.
“You guys always thought that you were smarter than me. But come on. You never actually hid it that well. Every halloween, when we were kids. You guys made me watch that shitty scary movie. It was so bad.” (This line makes me think the Aldersiblings have always kept things from Angela, and have always kept her out of their more criminal hobbies, but for good reasons. That the siblings grew into very different tastes than Angela so she ended up an outsider of sorts. This jab towards the siblings seems to continue Angela’s story line of feeling under appreciated.)
—
Angela mets with her dad, who works at Walmart. He’s restocking FIVE/NINE emergency kits. Which he mentions are flying off the shelfs after the attack on Washington. (This episode does a lot of alluding to whats going on outside the main plot, forming a connection we previously weren’t getting much of)
Things get tense, this is the point where there relationship breaks. Angela betrays her mom by doing what she’s doing, but also her dad. We don’t ever see him again I’m pretty sure. There’s also an obvious class divide between them, we see just how polarized they’ve become. Somehow Angela is still convinced that what she’s doing will fix things (perceiving more control than she thinks she has).
—
Price meets with Angela.
“You protecting some evil secret agenda?”
(“Don’t we all protect our evil secrets agendas?”)
Angela wants to be moved to a manager position in risk management. (In order to change things from within).
Price confesses that it is his birthday, this is a secret from everyone but he shares with her and invites her to celebrate but she refuses. He’s definitely trying to build some type of relationship to her, since he’s her real dad and all. To Price finalizing the deal how WR needed it to be means Angela is no longer in immediate danger so maybe he’s more relaxed about opening up to her. I think one of Angela’s coworkers said this but it must seem strange to everyone else in the office there relationship, I think Angela finds it strange as well. Angela is an anomaly, caught in so many webs, and even WR sees it.
—
Angela’s first day in risk management, the man, who’s a director in risk management, showing her around. He mentions Flint,MI (who STILL doesn’t have clean water) as a thing they’re currently looking into. He apparently knew Gideon, worked with him a couple times. Angela’s hyper professionalism is super off, and its because literally every other person makes small talk and is fairly casual but her. I think it’s her way of commanding respect, something she wants is to feel respected. Angela doesn’t falter around, the problem is this persona of hers starts to carry on to her other relationships, it consumes her. (I just think to when she shuts Elliot away with her office professionalism in the episode where the buildings blow up.. 3.5?)
—
In Angela’s meeting Susan Jacobs (the executioner, f-society is using her house as HQ) is mentioned to be taking vacation days. (Hint dropped that she may be stopping by her house.)
A lot of legal settlement lingo is just thrown around everywhere (making us feel intimidated but also showing how Angela may find herself lost in this environment). Angela tries to get a shoe in on the conversation by suggesting to put together a summary, but obviously this wasn’t gonna work. Price told the head of risk management to treat Angela “however you want” and this guy finds Angela to be a suspicious case.
—-
F Society -
The gang are all over Mobley’s laptop (top secret call happening on OpBerenstain)(It reads that this should be the same day as the hack when Darlene comes in, which happened on the 3rd.)
(The show sort of hints that this next bit is whats on Mobley’s screen previous, but the dates don’t line up. “Tomorrow” isn’t the seventh.) The House of Representatives. (7/7/15) at 2:07 pm ET #droptheballs happens. Kinda a legendary move that just says “suck on these” to the government. However this scares some people into thinking the worlds ending (hence E corp selling out of emergency kits and needing the restock. Capitalism <3s to sell us our panic it created in the first place.) (and when we buy into that aren’t we buying into its fantasy?)
--
#h4ndshake.sme#mr robot#I'm not gonna bother tagging everyone who appears in this episode.#Also this is being posted out of order cause i'm still working on episode 6#these are for fun so like dont take any of my takes seriously
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PotC Liveblog: Dead Man’s Chest
I’d been looking forward to rewatching DMC for some time. It was the movie that canonized my OTP and inspired so many amazing Sparrabeth fics. I fondly recalled seeing it in theaters with my family, my eyes and shipper heart growing bigger and wider with every subtext-laden appearance of Jack’s compass. I remembered feeling personally betrayed by Elizabeth’s death-kiss, like the writers had deliberately buoyed my hopes only to ruthlessly crush them. Unlike CotBP, I had only seen DMC once before, and I couldn’t wait to appreciate the complicated Jack/Elizabeth dynamic with more mature eyes.
Boy, was I disappointed. Not by the Sparrabeth, thank the gods, but by literally everything else.
Is it just me or was this movie composed of a bunch of standalone scenes and set pieces strung together? Did they bring in Tim Burton just to direct the visuals of the interrupted wedding scene? Why does the Turkish prison sequence look like the opening cutscene to a high fantasy RPG videogame with the brightness setting turned down to zero?
OK I laughed at Jack popping out of the coffin and using a femur as a paddle, but I’m confused about everything else
Oh look, the crew’s on the verge of mutiny again, and this time it is Jack’s fault
Listen, I have Ted Elliott’s compass meta tattooed on my heart, but in retrospect the “Why is all the rum gone?” scene was probably too subtle. The audience doesn’t even know at this point how the compass is supposed to work. Maybe if they had the balls to actually include the deleted Sparrabeth scenes in CotBP, Jack’s emotional turmoil wouldn’t have seemed so opaque!
Still, a character being Vexed about their affections/feelings and doing a poor job of managing that vexation is my idea of high romance
(and both Jack and Elizabeth are quite vexed with each other indeed)
I CANNOT believe I had to sit through an uninterrupted half hour of racist filler that does absolutely fuck-all to advance the plot while ticking at least four boxes on my postcolonial bingo card what the fucking fuck
Let’s tally the cinematic sins: unfunny physical comedy in a style that would’ve been more suited to animation; indigenous cannibals speaking in unrealistic, buffoonish gibberish; said cannibals worshiping our hero (and later a dog) as a deity; and worst of all--
All the brown men that Gibbs hired as extras additional crew for the Black Pearl in DMC were put into a separate cage from the recurring white characters from CotBP (btw Anamaria is absent without even a throwaway line of explanation) because apparently even barbaric islanders know and practice segregation
And so segregated, the crew enters the stupidest, most contrived rat race up a cliffside with each other that ends with the brown people’s cage falling into the ravine THEREBY GETTING RID OF ALL THE CHARACTERS OF COLOR IN ONE FELL SWOOP
Also egregious racism aside, I’m put off by the film’s rather cavalier attitude towards gratuitous loss of life? Idk I feel like in the midst of all the action and adventure CotBP knew how to handle death and violence with the appropriate modicum of gravity and horror
Meanwhile on the island Gibbs is just like “oiya we’re standing in cages built from the bones of our former shipmates ha ha”
As for Jack - Jack has yet to save a cat or anything else besides his own skin, so he’s rapidly losing the goodwill he accumulated in the first film
holy shit yet another Elizabeth Swann-related realization about my sexual awakening: her look as a cross-dressing stowaway - pretty, delicate features in a boyish, flat-chested, slender form - is literally my sexuality
She’s literally pulling the strings of all the men on that ship! What a puppet-master queen
Tia Dalma’s interest in Will and the “touch of destiny” line is an interesting bit of foreshadowing that doesn’t get any payoff in this film. DMC and AWE have been criticized for being impossible to watch as standalone films, but I think there’s something to be said for a universe that strives for internal continuity and demands more than a casual investment in its proceedings (a related but distinct model from the MCU)
If you gave me half a reason to I would ship Jack Sparrow with anybody and everybody. Look at the flirtatious lines and looks he exchanges with Tia Dalma!! Give me that story! (Actually, artaxastra did, twice: once in her standalone Creole!Jack origin story, And All of Them True, and once again in Gods and Heroes, a Jack/Calypso interlude in her Outlaws and Inlaws ‘verse)
Tia Dalma’s acceptance (and release) of Jack’s payment for her services tells me two things about her that I really like: (1) she’s like a magpie that collects interesting miscellany (witty tricksters, cunning pirate lords, undead monkeys). and (2) she’s not interested in caging creatures (the foreshadowing!!)
FINALLY WE GET SOME JACK/ELIZABETH INTERACTION
God bless Keira’s face and acting choices!! The chemistry!! All the little smiles and smirks they share!!
How doth she look at thee? Let me count all the ways: her amused, tentatively credulous smile at Jack’s storytelling and posturing over a magical compass and chest, while Norrington scoffs disbelievingly in the background; her having to bite her lips and walk away before Jack notices her giddiness because she literally cannot handle their flirting; her little laugh as he gently rebuffs the idea that he’s a good man
Also “I have faith in you. Both of you,” were her parting words to Will and here she gets a chance to tell Jack in person yay
Their little dance of “persuasion” is hot and all (Jack literally looks like he has to bite back a groan and whimper), but I’m really here for the banter (“Friendly?” / “Decidedly not.”); they get each other, and, under the right conditions, can communicate so effortlessly
“Why doesn’t your compass work?” - alright so ofc I love the legendary “curiosity” exchange, but I’m so confused by the abrupt transition in their conversation here? Like why didn’t she follow through and tug on that line of inquiry?? The “Because you and I are alike” line that follows makes no logical sense in context (ETA: I guess it could suggest that Elizabeth already knows why the compass doesn't work for him, because he's torn between doing the right thing and the selfish thing... But at this point she doesn't suspect him of lying to her, so...idek)
“You’d never put me in a position that would compromise my honor” - my god what a TEASE my queer heart
Oh, Norrington, what’s happened to you?? What happened to serving others, not just himself?? :(( It kinda confuses me that he goes on about the “dark side of ambition” and the “promise of redemption” when he’s the one who voluntarily resigned from his post...
Norrington carrying both shovels while Jack just poses prettily though lol
JACK’S COMPASS FINALLY WORKS FOR HIM BECAUSE THE TWO THINGS HE WANTS MOST IN THE WORLD--THE CHEST AND ELIZABETH--ARE IN THE SAME PLACE AND HE KNOWS IT
idk I guess some people find the three-way swordfighting scene hilarious but I’m with Elizabeth on this one: men are stupid
ugh this script makes no sense
I’m so fucking confused by the narrative logic here: if Jones is dead, there’s no one to call off the Kraken?? But isn’t Jones the one calling the Kraken in the first place, to settle Jack’s debt? So if they killed Jones, wouldn’t the debt be null and void? NO JONES, NO KRAKEN, DUUUH.
OK but Jack is really unlikable in this film, last-minute “heroic” acts notwithstanding. Give me fix-it fics please
I mean it’s rather telling that by the time Jack returns to the Pearl there are only enough survivors to fill a single longboat. Oh yes he “saved them all” - the few that were left!!
This script has more holes in it than the Pearl does right now: everyone unquestioningly follows Will’s orders like he’s the captain (what happened to the dork who shouted, “Aye! Avast!”?? And there’s no evidence that since his engagement post-CotBP he’s practiced any sailing)
I mean it’s like no one but Elizabeth even noticed Jack was gone; the moment he comes back Gibbs chirps, “Captain, orders?” as if he never left. This coward just abandoned you all!!!
“It’s only a ship, mate.” - This is actually just the saddest line, and I’m glad Elizabeth was there to witness it because if there’s one thing she took away from their fireside conversation in CotBP it’s that the Black Pearl is more than a ship to Jack; what it really is is freedom, and here Jack’s set to lose both
And that’s what Elizabeth--not the Kraken--definitively takes from Jack: his freedom. Not just his ability to run away from his fate, but also the chance to take a stand and face it. (I like to think that, more than the murderous act itself, is what he finds so hard to forgive post-DMC. The darker Jack in salr323′s oneshot, Perfidy, written post-AWE, articulates this eloquently: “You know nothing of my debt, love, nor of my payment. But had you allowed me a nobler death, my account might have been lighter.”) His last act of defiance entails reclaiming what choice he has left: slipping slickly out of his shackles, hat on, “hello beastie,” into the monster’s maw.
Ugh they could have given Jack’s whole arc with Davy Jones such PATHOS instead of waiting until the very end--he struck a deal with the devil in all his youth and despair and hubris; now the bell is tolling and he realizes 13 years is nothing, no time at all, and he’s not ready to die; not today, not ever--yes it’s selfish and dishonorable (Will’s willing to square the debt of a father he hardly ever knew; he wouldn’t have blinked at paying his own) but how human is that? to fight and run even as the flames lick your heels?
omg Jack is the jackrabbit
The irony of that eulogy still gives me feelings tho: “Guess that honest streak finally won out.” Elizabeth wrested away Jack’s control over his own story, so now she has to write it for him. When she toasts, “He was a good man,” it’s in both unearned homage and recompense.
“And the world is a little less bright.” - OK but that’s too much. Moving words from Gibbs, but here it’s like he’s speaking directly to/for the audience, and not in a good way. It’s too obviously meta, and especially out of place in a film where Jack did not shine very bright at all
In-universe, it’s not very believable that two pirates like Pintel and Ragetti--who mutinied against Jack before, without a hint of remorse!--would now risk their lives to save him
Honestly if Disney wanted to include familiar faces/fan favorites in the supporting cast for AWE, they could’ve easily written a more realistic line like, “what the hell do we have to lose?” or some more selfish motive, none of these panegyrics
btw who are the native people standing in the swampwater? holding candles with mournful tears in their eyes?? no seriously who are they??? (I dearly hope such a striking tableau was meant to hint at Jack’s history with Tia Dalma and the residents of this bayou, but the more cynical part of me thinks: “Now hiring: extras of color, to play the part of human candlesticks lit in exaltation of an ambiguously white man” The writers get no benefit of the doubt from me after forcing me to sit through that cannibal island act)
It sounds sadistic of me but seeing how anguished Elizabeth is after claiming she’s not sorry gives me life
She keeps crying, and can’t even bring herself to drink Tia Dalma’s concoction against cold and sorrow! She just fakes a sip, which is such a great little character beat, because it shows she doesn’t think she deserves the remedy! She’ll just have to live with it...
That is, until Will decides he can’t stand the sight of her grief, and opens up Pandora’s box for her despite just catching her passionately kissing another man: “If there was anything to be done to bring him back, Elizabeth...” He really is too good for this world
And Elizabeth MUST know there’s a price, that she’d be staking not just her own life and happiness but her betrothed’s, and yet selfishly, always selfish, she says, “Yes”
BARBOSSA!!! Still the most epic character reveal ever. I still remember the theater bursting into gasps and applause, good times
#i've had this in my drafts folder for too long along with a whole bunch of dmc reblogs#it's time to air them out they're starting to stink#tl;dr i could've watched the youtube videos compiling the 12 minutes of jack/elizabeth interaction instead of the entirety of dmc#and i don't think i would've missed out on much#t-recs#the long and short of the meta#pirates of the caribbean
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some cdp facts
last hiatus i made the crime does p(l)ay(list), (and the one i made this arc too!) and people seemed to like that! i also referenced making this in my ‘five fun facts’ post, so, here you are!!
below the cut there are few arc one/two spoilers, so if you haven’t read cdp yet, go give it a read and then come back here!
more than half of the plot was written after chapter seven, which is why some of the characters seem a bit different in their personalities there than after.
i nearly completely forget that Wes got beat up in ch 5 and I almost wrote him without his rib and facial injuries
CDP was originally only supposed to be ~15 chapters, as i thought that i’d have run out of steam by now. boy was i wrong.
Leo was never meant to be a heavily focused character, and he was only going to be in the ‘raven room’ chapter. the role Leo plays was originally supposed to be done by a different character altogether. the character he’s based off of is from the original plotline, where instead of Damien feuding with Leo, it’s Joven feuding with the xiaolong’s leader’s daughter, who was characterized as being very loyal to both her father and the gang. her characterization (brash, commanding, and loyal), turned into Linghun. she was supposed to threaten Joven and act as a distraction before disappearing after arc one, probably having been killed off in the gauntlet
kate was supposed to be a one off character, but i ended up loving writing for her, (and i needed a character who was involved in Mari’s crime scene clean-up), so i added her to joven’s backstory, and gave her some more personality
ryan todd was supposed to have bigger sway in arc one, and have it end with his accidental death, but i wrote a few lines for his podcast and he ended up sticking around.
sunny was also supposed to have a much bigger role, but he didn’t fit super well, and i ended up keeping him to the sidelines
the only characters that were locked in to existing were the main five, the strippers, sohinki and lasercorn, and matt raub. everyone else was written in later.
mari was the first one to get a backstory, boze was the last.
though this has been briefly (albeit not explicitly) mentioned throughout the fic, the canonic ages of each character are as follows: Mari - 26; Joven - 27; Damien - 22; Boze - 24; Wes - 26; Courtney - 25; Shayne - 23; Noah - 21; Keith - 24; Olivia - 22; Sohinki - 25; Lasercorn - 30; Kate - 26; Sarah - 29; Matt Raub - 38; Leo - 24; Sunny - 37; Tim - 32
Most of the characters also didn’t have solid ages until arc two
i actually have mockups for the official Jackrabbit logo in my google doc for the plot (might post it for fun idk). i’ve done a few sketches, but the official logo has been recorded in there. i might make something out of it if i manage to finish all of CDP
the second thing i planned out for CDP after chapter one was the epilogue chapter that will follow arc three. and i basically knew how the fic would end the moment i started it.
CDP arcs all take place over varying amounts of time, arc one roughly takes place over several weeks and arc two takes place over four months. (i’m still trying to plan out how long -time skip wise- arc thee is going to take)
CDP begins roughly in the beginning of November (due to the fact that that’s when i started writing it), but time acts differently in the story as there are never any concrete ‘dates’. Wes mentions it being january in ch 35, and damien mentions that it’s february in ch 43, but those are the only times i really gave actual months
there was very nearly going to be a christmas episode, but i felt like it messed with the pacing too much
i wrote most of the pre-CDP plot/backstory at the end of plotting out the fic
The name ‘Xiaolong’ is actually a word in Chinese. I meant the word to be ‘dragons’, but after consulting two of my Chinese-speaking friends they have both informed me that it actually means ‘little dragon’. once again google has disappointed me, but given me a nice name.
The original name for the Xiaolong was the ‘Swhi Zi Long’ which (very roughly) translates to ‘blood of the dragon’
I still can’t spell the Russian words for ‘bear brotherhood’ correctly, which is why I frequently refer to them as just ‘the brotherhood’
Kate’s number, referenced in chapter 12, is 555-0930. The final four numbers is the date Kate and Joven got married
the Jackrabbit’s address - 1301 Verloren street is a mix of two different things. 13, the day i was born, 01, the year i was born, and ‘Verloren’, which is the verb for ‘to forget’ in german
damien references something in one of his early chapters that can be seen as somewhat of foreshadowing to what happens in chapter 55
a single chapter of CDP, (which are roughly between 1,500-4,000) can take anywhere from 2-7 hours to write, depending on my focus and depth of editing
the shortest chapter of cdp is around 1,000 words and the longest chapter is 5,400 words long
there’s a base 64 easter egg in chapter 43. (the code that leo gives to damien to unlock the storage space translates to a french phrase, (la douleur exquise), which basically means ‘the heart wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have’. and if that ain’t a mood with leo’s feelings towards damien.)
the final five chapters of arc two were supposed to be formatted very differently. the arc was supposed to end with a damien chapter, but i felt like it messed with pacing too much to add more people’s points of view. instead we got some extra stuff and some cute coze interactions and more boze backstory, so it payed off well!
unlike arc one, the plots of each of the chapters of arc two were written WAY before i published them. some of them changed based on how the characters changed, but most of them have been the same,
the bare plot for arc one is roughly 3.5 pages long, the bare plot for arc two is 5 pages long, and the bare plot for arc three is 7 pages long
there will be 35 chapters this arc, as well as one, most likely very long epilogue chapter.
cdp will return this friday! for making it all the way through the list, have a few paragraphs from the next chapter - 56 - the aftermath
Mari’s heart was pumping out of her chest.
The ambulance sirens wailed around her as she followed closely behind in her car. The technicians hadn’t looked hopeful as they’d loaded the bodies into the back of the van.
There had been so much blood.
She’d been standing in the back, barely paying attention, trying to focus on the set numbers. Then the explosion had bloomed across the room. She had felt the sonic hum deep in her chest, and the ringing in her ears still burned, even now.
Mari slammed her fist into the steering wheel, letting out an ear splitting shriek as she let her emotions bubble over. Her friends might be dead. She had never thought that it would actually come it this.
She thought that they were safe now that the Titans were gone.
Sohinki’s words now echoed hauntingly in the back of her head.
The ambulance in front of her ripped into the hospital parking lot. Personel in white coats and white gloves ran with crash carts from the front door as soon as the ambulance stopped.
Mari found a parking spot quickly, putting the car into park before running towards the van, barely thinking to lock her car behind her. She could see them pull a gurney out of the back, moving it quickly towards the front entrance as doctors and ER techs shouted numbers at one another. Joven stepped out of the back, out of breath and sweaty, covered in blood.
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but Jay, should Hamlet's death by poison be an elaborate metaphor for orgasm aka la petit mort? Horatio helping him make peace with his death etc. ANALYZE IT
This is borderline an essay, so please read my flailing after the cut.
Actually, Horatio isn’t helping him make peace. Hamlet is weirdly calm about his death as it is happening. It is Horatio who is in fact distraught.
Through the play, Horatio has been our voice of reason. He is steady, stable, calm. He is the perfect balance to Hamlet’s keyed-up emotions. We don’t know what Hamlet was like at Wittenberg, but right now he is emotional. His father is dead. His mom has married his uncle a little too soon. He finds out his uncle killed his father and he is tasked with seeking revenge. And he knows how that will end.
I like to think that Hamlet has always been very intense. Horatio doesn’t seem to be disturbed by how like, Extra Hamlet is. And Hamlet does the whole “Give me that man that is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him in my heart’s core, ay, in my heart of heart, as I do thee” while speaking to Horatio. Horatio being a touchstone, a stabilizing factor, for Hamlet seems pre-established. Another reference to this is the “O Damon dear” line, alluding to the story of Damon and Pythias; Damon being a man who was willing to die for his friend, not even thinking twice about it; and it is obvious this is not the first time the two of them have called each other such.
Before the duel, Horatio is like “idk man maybe you shouldn’t do this,” which prompts Hamlet to give the “we defy augury” speech. Hamlet has accepted his death, and has known it will happen, since that ghost spurred him to his revenge. “There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow.” Hamlet knows there is really nothing he can do to stop his own death; it’s gonna happen eventually, right? And he’s so tired. And his revenge is so consuming.
So we get to Act V scene ii. The queen is dead. Claudius is dead. Laertes is dead. And Hamlet, after Laertes admits he poisoned the blades, simply says:
Heaven make thee free of it. I follow thee.— / I am dead, Horatio.—Wretched queen, adieu!— / You that look pale and tremble at this chance, / That are but mutes or audience to this act, / Had I but time (as this fell sergeant, Death, / Is strict in his arrest), O, I could tell you— / But let it be.— Horatio, I am dead. / Thou livest. Report me and my cause aright / To the unsatisfied.
To which Horatio immediately is like OH FUCK THAT and, since he is “more antique Roman than a Dane” (the name Horatio can be the adjective referring to things that are like the poet Horace, after all, and also this is often read as a “I’m too gay to live without you and I love you”), he picks up the poisoned cup to drink, to kill himself, to follow Hamlet into death. Indeed it is Hamlet who takes the cup from Horatio, who keeps Horatio from killing himself. It is Hamlet who helps Horatio make peace with his death, not Horatio who helps Hamlet. “If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart,” Hamlet says to Horatio when asking him to stay alive, to tell the story of what happened.
As Hamlet takes his final breaths, he uses them in fact for mundane things: let people know that Fortinbras has my vote for taking over, because I will be dead before I hear news from England, and I hear Fortinbras coming now. The rest is silence. Death is silence. Death is peace. Death is freedom. The rest, indeed, is rest. And this breaks Horatio’s heart:
Now cracks a noble heart.–Good night, sweet prince, / And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!
SO. If we want to try to make this an orgasm metaphor, how would we go about this? We must first link death and love within this play, and Shakespeare has quite the track record for just that.
1. This almost suicide recalls the end of Romeo and Juliet: Romeo sees his lover dead and drinks poison to kill himself, and then Juliet sees her dead lover and kills herself with his dagger (indeed, what could the dagger be in our extended metaphor). So the death of Hamlet mirrors both deaths: poison, and the second lover killing themselves with something of the first’s.
2. Shakespeare was such a big fan of Christopher Marlowe that the only thing in all of Shakespeare’s plays that he directly quotes is the Hero and Leander poem of Marlowe’s, another tale of tragic love. This poem is also uh gay, and the Chapman addition directly following Marlowe’s death even more so. For an excellent analysis of this poem and particularly the addition, see Queer Philologies: Sex, Language, and Affect in Shakespeare’s Time by Jeffrey Masten, which I am reading right now.
3. Hamlet is full of references to classical lovers and friends separated or almost separated by death. And I use “friends” here in the context of the time: same-sex friendship held different connotations than it does now, and the lines between romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships were not as clean-cut as they are today. Hamlet calls Horatio Damon, thus making himself Pythias. In the Yorick speech, Hamlet calls up Alexander the Great, and particularly his death. The speech Hamlet asks the Player King to perform is the slaughter of Priam, and the thing that strikes him after is the ability for the Player King to show such emotion “for Hecuba! What’s Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba, that he should weep for her?” Again, two lovers separated not just by death but by tragic death.
4. There’s this essay called “Hamlet: Letters and Spirits” in the book Shakespeare and the Question of Theory that discusses a small throwaway line given by Laertes, where he says the name of the Norman man is “Lamord.” This essay points out how that sounds like “la mort” and indeed also like “l’amour.” Love and death, and the audience would hear both since they sound so alike.
We have our death/love precedent set, then, in a play defined by death, and especially the death of those people love, and then the death they deal out because of it. We have Horatio almost killing himself as Hamlet dies. Indeed, joining him in death. In our orgasm metaphor, I feel I don’t even need to explain that symbolism.
So let’s lay out our metaphor further, so that it culminates in Hamlet dying, and thus some form of cathartic release from life, and what else is orgasm but a release?
Our play opens with a ghost, yes, but Hamlet is introduced to us in a wedding/funeral. He’s upset. He’s grumpy. He’s pissy and sassy. “A little more than kin, and less than kind,” indeed. He’s defensive. And as soon as he is alone, he releases. “Oh that this too too sullied/solid flesh would melt.” Tension, release. We see a similar tension/release with the “rogue and peasant slave” soliloquy. He’s been fucking around with Polonius. He’s been fucking around with Ros and Guil (having some “foreplay” of our release with “what a piece of work is man”). He’s been Extra and requested a highly emotionally charged speech of death and love from the players. When Hamlet is then left alone on stage: “Now I am alone. O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I.” Tension, release. And each of these releases, they are not pleasurable. They might be cathartic, but they are not releases of ecstasy but rather releases such as lancing a wound, a morbid release. They show how much performing Hamlet is having to do, and then he finally can stop that performance and rest. But those rests are never restful.
Until the final rest. Two men duel with their swords (indeed, Hamlet says the rapier and dagger or whatever the hell he names are only two of Laertes’ weapons wink wink nudge nudge), and through this act of homoerotic violence, everyone on stage dies except Horatio. And only because Hamlet begs him not to die. The psychosexual fiasco that is Hamlet culminates in the final release of death, of la mort and l’amour. Hamlet is dead long before that release and he knows it. And in his death, his la mort, he begs of Horatio out of love, out of l’amour, to “absent thee from felicity awhile” so that this story can be told. The rest, and the rest, is silence. The rest is rest. Death is the ultimate release. Death is the ultimate reprieve, the ultimate sweetness, the ultimate pleasure. Man delights not Hamlet, no nor woman either, but Death comes as a welcome friend, the skull of a jester spoken to with fond remembrance.
For Horatio, we see heightened emotion and almost complete loss of control in this moment. He attempts to join Hamlet in death, in release. Without l’amour of Hamlet, the rest is la mort. Horatio does not get his release, at least not in the same way that Hamlet does. Although Hamlet’s death is a tragedy, it finally allows Hamlet to rest. Note how he says the rest is silence. Horatio is denied sharing the release with Hamlet, and now cracks a noble heart. Horatio has been calm this whole play, and so Hamlet in fact has to help him make peace with what is happening. When Horatio calls Hamlet “sweet Prince,” it echoes back to “Here, sweet lord, at your service,” the only other time Horatio uses that epithet for Hamlet. And yes, sweet had homoerotic connotations when used between two men. Horatio is a service top confirmed. But in this moment, Hamlet is at Horatio’s service. Hamlet has the release of death, the post-orgasmic state of release where the mind is empty. How else is Horatio supposed to address him then if not as a lover? Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. Again, we see this theme of rest. The languid, empty-minded rest that comes from orgasm, and indeed this is the final form of that, and it is heavenly. There is this perfect, clear moment of Hamlet’s death. The rest is silence. A beat. Nothingness (and remember what nothing was a euphemism for, kiddos). The entire play has prepared us for this moment. This entire play is foreplay for this moment of release. The rest is silence. Sure, in a Shakespearean tragedy, the climax is in Act III, which is in our case the confirmation of Claudius’ guilt, the ultimate moment of Hamlet’s indecision, and the murder of Polonius (which triggers Ophelia’s madness, which triggers Laertes’ own need for revenge, the duel, and death). But the climax of our metaphor is here at the end, in Act V scene ii. The rest is silence.
But we don’t get an afterglow. With Horatio, we too are left unsatisfied. Now cracks a noble heart. But we see that Hamlet ascends through his release, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
I like to argue that this play is in fact not Hamlet’s but Horatio’s. After all, he is the one telling the story. And I like to think that he, not Hamlet, is our audience analog. We end the play the only people left on stage alive, holding Hamlet in our arms, coming down from the release. And then Fortinbras shows up and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead and it’s a whole bunch of shit nobody can quote and sometimes gets cut out completely. What people remember is an almost pieta like image of Hamlet dead in Horatio’s arms. The rest is silence. Good night, sweet prince. La mort and l’amour.
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