#i genuinely think him leaving the asylum was the best thing for him
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sunset-of-the-void · 6 months ago
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I think its very neat how emil's "birthday" and zodiac sign fall on the date that he escaped from the asylum. Symbolic of him being reborn i suppose. He is haunted by a past that i infer his body and mind blocked out so he could keep moving forward and was given another chance at living a better life
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johnsjackolantern4902 · 4 months ago
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Different Scarecrows reacting to a high reader getting very flirty and horny, (but also getting shy to verbally ask for sex)
BTAS from his first episode specifically
He tries to get you to tone it down out of embarrassment the first time. You're going gentle and mainly body worshipping him. The tenderness and loving attention makes his heart flutter. The longer it goes on, the less he can resist.
BTAS
"D-dear, please..." He's flustered. You gently body worship him, gradually getting more and more sexual. He becomes putty in your hands the more you go on. You're probably the first person to treat him this way and he's absolutely loving it.
TNBA
Also very flustered the first time, especially as your body worshipping gets more sexual. He goes from his tough, threatening persona to your little bitch real fast. His heart is pounding, he's so anxious because he's not used to it, but so at ease at the same time because he knows you mean no harm whatsoever. As he overcomes his anxiety, he actively encourages you to keep going.
Salecrow
He's all over you right back and slips into subspace. He lets you do whatever you want to him and begs for more.
Yellow Lantern
He's enjoying and basking in the attention he's getting. He can't think, he's in heaven. All he can do is beg you to keep going.
Mof
He's so awkward and flustered, especially as you get more sexual. He doesn't know how to handle it. He just lets you do whatever you want with him out of desperation and desire. He's very embarrassed about asking for more, but he wants it so bad, so he occasionally asks you very meekly.
Arkham Asylum
He's a giggling mess. You're so cute. He can't keep his hands off you either, he's totally doting over you. He's mirroring everything you do to him and making sure you get everything right back tenfold. He's giving you so much praise and asking if you want more. He especially praises you when you ask for more without his help because he knows it's hard.
Arkham Knight
Well this is interesting. He's studying your every move, mentally taking notes, especially the first time. He tries not to show his insecurity as you reveal more of him to yourself, but you see him tense up. His anxiety is soothed and his muscles relax whenever you greet every part of him with kisses and a loving stare rather than disgust. He notices you get shy saying what you want and resort mainly to showing it, he teases you into saying everything you want in order to get it. Once you say what you want, he makes sure you're handsomely rewarded as best as he can.
Legends of the Dark Knight
He's an anxious and flustered mess. He keeps wanting to ask you if this is genuine, but keeps stopping himself every time he sees the loving look in your eyes as you dote over every part of him. He's trying his best to give you physical affection back, but he's not the best at it and he's very shy and awkward about it, but he's trying.
As the Crow Flies
He's embarrassed, but he leaves you be. When it starts getting sexual, he gets avoident, which saddens you. Once he notices that his avoidance saddens you, he feels bad. He reassures you that he loves you too, but now's not the time. He promises to cuddle you and let it escalate later when he's done what he's doing. He makes sure it's worth the wait.
Scarebeast
He PURRS!!! He's all over you right back. I really hope you prepped your hole earlier.
Nightwing
He's surprised, but not in a bad way. He praises you and encourages you to say what you want verbally.
Man Bat
Same thing as Nightwing Scarecrow times ten. He really makes you wanna call him Daddy.
Catwoman
He's surprised, but he can't for the life of him tell you to stop even if it's not appropriate in the moment. He wants it way too badly. He hurriedly takes you to an appropriate spot and begs you to keep going.
Harley Quinn comics
He's dumbfounded. His toxic obsession with his image wants you to stop, but his need for this is way stronger. This is the first time he lets himself be vulnerable with you.
HQAS
He's all over you. He absolutely loves this, he gets horny before you even start getting sexual. He's moaning loudly and frantically begging you not to stop. He's acting like it's the first time he's been doted over sexually in years. Mega drama queen, but you love that about him.
Fear State
He's caught off-guard. He's not really doing anything, he's just curiously observing you. As it gets more sexual, he starts to pet your head. He takes you to the bedroom if you're not already there and refuses to please you unless you ask him to verbally. He teases you too, he loves it when you beg.
God of Fear
He's surprised, but it's not unwelcome. He praises you and encourages you to keep going.
No Man's Land
Religious trauma moment. He's conflicted. He loves it, but he's been hardwired to be ashamed of his sexuality. He expresses this and asks you to take it easy and go slower. You comply and check in with him frequently as you go on.
Batwoman
Oh he's loving it. He's taking on the more dominant role as he observes you, insisting you ask for what you want verbally and reveling in your shyness and hesitation. He has to keep himself from pouncing on you right away.
Year One
He's a little embarrassed and awkward at first because he doesn't know how to take it. Once you start getting sexual, he doesn't hesitate to ask you to slow down because ✨️religious trauma✨️ You agree and slow it down as best you can, frequently checking in until he assures you he'll let you know if he gets uncomfortable. He enjoys what you're doing a lot, but doesn't know how to let you know that. He's so grateful for you.
Knight Terrors
Well this is interesting! He's totally loving it, but is asking you a lot of questions to understand your actions and thoughts better. As you get more sexual, he starts to get in the mood too and begins teasing you and encouraging you to say what you want.
Lego
Since he's the size of a lego man and you're high, it's a little hard for you to do it right, but you give it your best. He's giggling and smiling non-stop at first and kissing you back. As you get more sexual, he gets bashful and shy, but doesn't want you to stop. He comes out of his shell more and more until next thing you know, you have a desperate horny little Scarecrow in your hand begging for more.
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marvel-starwarsfangirl · 9 days ago
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"The Penguin" Review
Major Spoilers- includes finale spoilers
Guys, Colin Farrell might just be the best portrayal of Oswald Cobblepot (Cobb in the show) that I've ever seen. Robin Lord Taylor's Penguin will always have a special place in my heart, but Colin's Penguin is my favorite. Oh my gosh. Let me tell you, this show was freaking phenomenal. The writing, the cinematography, the acting... everything was so on point and this is absolutely a major win for DC.
One of things I loved about the show was complexity of the characters and how they transform over the series and I think our title character best exemplifies this. You start off the show knowing that Oz is not a good guy. However, there's some sympathetic light shed on him due to his childhood being in poverty and his clear devotion to his mother. He even takes in a homeless teenager after said teen tries to steal his rims. But as you go through the show, that spotlight of sympathy slowly gets shut off. And from the shadows, a true monster emerges. Relationships that initially come off as sympathetic become twisted and you see the truth for what it really is.
The relationship with the mother Frances really stood out to me. By the way, she was a phenomenal character and portrayed wonderfully by Deirdre O'Connell. There was so much tragedy surrounding the character. By the end of the show, everything she had was gone and what was left was a broken shell of a woman. Oz's affection and devotion is so twisted and obsessive. He can only have his mother on his terms and his terms only. He can never truly love her as a son should. Even when she's being tortured, Oz can't tell her what he did to his brothers. The relationship is so disturbing, it honestly gave me Oedipus complex vibes. Frances is the only person that Oz "cares" for, but it's such a mock imitation of the real thing that it leaves you uncomfortable and sad by the end.
Then there's Vic. I loved this kid and I really wanted the best for him. The tragedy of him losing everything to Riddler's terror attack only to find Oz as a new father figure just hurts because you know that it won't end well. Oz is not the man who should take this kid in. But what I love about Vic is that he doesn't let Oz change his core personality. He does bad things because of Oz, but he still has a good heart underneath. And unfortunately... that good heart leads only to one place with a man like Oz.
Of all the characters, my favorite has to be Sofia Falcone. (Her Gotham version is purged from my memory). Cristin Milioti is perfection in this role. She balances the character's more sympathetic traits with her ruthlessness. At the beginning, it looks like she will be the main antagonist given her motivations and notoriety as a convicted killer. However, you learn the big twist that she was innocent of those crimes and it completely changes your view of her. Of course, she's still a villain, but everything about her changes after. I loved discovering her story and following along on her quest for revenge.
Arkham Asylum's portrayal shook me to my core. The way the inmates were villainized hurt. The doctors were cruel and had inhumane treatments. I am very passionated about mental health and just seeing the state of things gave me genuine chills. I was very uncomfortable during the Sofia backstory episode because of how she was treated. The doctors did everything they could to make her confess to a lie her father made up.
Not to ramble on much longer, but there was also some great commentary about power dynamics. This show's main plot was the power grab between Sofia, the Falcone family, Oz, and the Maronis now that Carmine was dead. As a woman, Sofia struggled to get respect in the family. She had to fight and struggle to earn it. Her father literally locked her up and made sure she stayed there just because he had the power to. Later, we see Oz rise through the ranks by lying and cheating his way to the top. It was so intriguing to see characters go back and forth with each other, either with negotiations or through straight up fights.
I think going into this show, you knew Oz was somehow going to come out on top. But the journey there was very, very interesting and that final shot in the show was the perfect cherry on top. I can't wait for what's in store for all the characters within in this universe of Batman. Whatever it will be, it's going to be amazing.
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hannahwatcheshorror · 1 month ago
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CHILD'S PLAY 2 (1990)
💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead
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“Snap out of it! You act like you’ve never seen a dead body before.” Chucky is back and as bad as ever in this continuation of the first film. It may not ring as true as the original but it still has quite a bit of that old Chucky zing. See if Andy can make it through another full movie of dodging his red headed BFF (best fiend forever)!
⭐⭐⭐
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Chucky is back with a fresh new coat of flesh courtesy of the Play Pals Toy Company and he still wants Andy’s soul! (You gotta pay the troll toll if you wanna get into that boy's soul). Our buddy Andy is heading to a foster home because now everyone thinks his mom is crazy for believing that the doll is a killer (but the doll is a killer). Pretty much right away Chucky replaces the Good Guys™ brand doll in the house and attempts to swap souls with Andy but is interrupted. The foster folks just think that the foster daughter, Kyle, tied Andy to the bed. 
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The parents genuinely think one of their foster kids tied another one of their foster kids to his bed and they are just gonna leave that lie? I am not a parent, nor a foster parent, so it is not apparent (ha) to me what the correct thing to do here is but I probably would address the bondage situation. (Also I would probably just have a family pummel party on the doll, I reckon, if the kid is that fucking scared of the thing.)
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Next Chuckster follows Andy to school and I get that the teacher was surprised at first but then she could have just gotten up. She didn’t have to die by ruler. She could have just stood up. Instead she's pathetically dead but I think it says something about the American school systems but I’m just too dumb to point it out because I was shoved through the American school systems. Andy tries to confront Chucky but this ends with getting his foster father murdled by the doll! Distraught by the death of her husband, foster mom asks Andy to leave.
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Kyle figures out the doll is really alive and finds the foster mom dead too, but he takes Kyle as a hostage. Chucky has to get back to Andy and get into his soul! Kyle keeps interrupting though. They all end up back at the factory which is like a big maze full of Chucky look-a-like dolls and Chucky almost gets into Andy but he is too late! Chucky is a doll forever! Now he really wants to kill Andy! So the kids melt Chucky (again) before blowing him up into (patent pending) Chucky Chunks. 
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The last line is very sad because you are reminded that she is an orphan and he is currently in the foster care system because his mom is in asylum for believing him about Chucky being alive so… yeah. Where is home? No idea. At least Flesh Hell Chucky is dead and Andy has fresh nightmare fodder. “You act like you’ve never seen a dead body before…”
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arl3kinka · 9 months ago
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THE BITCH; my interpretations
since there’s almost nothing known about her I decided to create some headcanons about her, mostly with her relationship with the Dude.
besides some personal opinions I take from base what is shown in games, movies and such.
pd: this is not really important but since there are a few little mention I warn that I headcanon Dude to have DID (without diagnose) and he’s the same guy in every game.
if instead of a hyphen there’s a star it’s to address DID in Dude (ALSO about that; I don’t have DID myself so all I know is from research I’ve done myself so if there’s something wrong please tell me!).
[ tw // mentions of abusive relationships, sex, use of drug and the usage of the word "maybe" a bit too much ]
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— Born and raised in Paradise.
— From the outside her family was pretty normal: father, mother and a younger sister. But on the inside it was something else.
— Her father worked a lot and was almost never at home. Since her mother didn’t had a job (or when she got one she got easily fired because of her temper) he did a lot of extra hours.
I think their parents would either fight a lot but still would never get divorced. Maybe they genuinely loved each other and that’s how they were used to speak when angry, so The Bitch really normalized the fights (never went further than screams and discussions, MAYBE some broken object).
— Whatever it was, who always won those fights was her mother (probably her father gave up to humour her so they didn't fight again), and that stuck up with her.
— The Bitch’s mother: “Never get married, it’s one of the worst mistakes you can do”.
That’s why her mother never liked the idea of her marrying Dude, either that or she saw him and went “with him???”.
— Pretty sure her mom loves her and does the best she can to raise her and really never treated her badly, but still she’s pretty much a disaster with everything else (or in general).
That's the main reason why she moved with her at the end of “Apocalypse Weekend”.
— Even before The Bitch and Dude got together, leaving Commander Hardrock pretty hurt, they already couldn’t stand each other, always fighting and annoying the other but not in a “siblings who fight but still love each other” way, like literally fighting.
— I have the feeling that her mother had a preference for her over Commander Hardrock and, assuming “Hardrock” it’s not a nickname, she’s using another surname because really, she despites both of them. Maybe I’m looking a bit too into but MAYBE because she was more tomboy-ish/butch and both The Bitch and their mom were more “feminine” found her kinda weird?
— I also think The Bitch is a bit similar to their mother, both personality and in appearance.
— Anyway, returning with The Bitch, she has narcissistic tendencies and anger issues, either learned of growing up seeing her mother treating her father like that or it's just in her blood.
— Is not really close to her father. He was there but also a bit distant because when he got home he was so tired nobody could move him from the couch.
— Has never gone to therapy and I don’t think she even bothered.
— “Therapy? Are you calling me crazy or what?”
— She didn’t go to university: studying was never really her thing so she took jobs here and there since her late teens. I don’t think she’s really clever or liked to study.
— I also don’t think she was in any category during high school. Not one of the populars but also not one with the weirdos. She just existed, with her friends and not much more.
— She really likes sweets, especially those who have some glazing and such like donuts.
— Meet the Postal Dude after a while he got out of the mental hospital and got married pretty quickly with the bad luck that they were still in their honeymoon phase.
★ P2 was the one in charge, and P1 wasn’t entirely dormant (I think after they got out of the asylum P1 was around for a while yet not really active) and P3 didn’t even existed yet.
★ Honestly both of them had mixed feelings about it. P1 felt something was a bit off but he also craved for that attention and care she showed, winning over that strange feeling. P2 is not as sensitive as P1 can be, but he had to admit he also liked that somebody liked him and damn, she wasn’t bad looking either so…
— I mean, who gets a tattoo with the name of their partner? Too many people, I know. And how many times ends up being a mistake? Pretty usually too (at least from what I’ve seen with my family/friends).
— After that phase ended they realized they pretty quickly they disliked the other and that didn't had a lot in common either.
— I think things went something like this: Dude gets out of the asylum, besides Uncle Dave and recently Champ he doesn’t has nobody else, he meets this woman who’s pretty and the only one who has shown some interest/affection to him (love bombing), he falls from her and well, the rest is history.
In case somebody imagines Dude as an aromantic person (I can see it too, but it’s not my case) I think he has confused love with validation, and the fact that now he’s now in a broken marriage also makes him resentful to her too. If she was a better person, or at least somebody who would treat him decently he wouldn’t feel so bad about it. Maybe a bit uncomfortable, but not to the point to feel like he’s in hell.
I also think that, whatever the case is, Uncle Dave motivated him to take that step thinking it would be good for him somehow (he was so wrong).
★ That’s when P1 went dormant and left P2 alone, not wanting to deal with her and the world in general.
P2, of course, if he wasn't already resentful that he did the same during the time they spend at the asylum, imagine when he disappeared completely this time. He was pretty much angry of trying to deal with his shit, but what else could he do?
After all, he also accepted marrying her too.
— Maybe she also started to date him because she was bored too, or because was the only person who tolerated her (I headcanon Dude as a pretty passive person, not to the point of being a people pleaser, maybe P1 could be but not P2, but still rather shut up and take the shit than fight back, specially at the beginning... sounds familiar?).
— Both really wanted to make it work, really, but with somebody who doesn’t knows her habits are toxic to a relationship (or she’s conscious and doesn’t cares, which makes it worse) and the other one who instead of dumping her stays there since he doesn’t knows any better and isn’t really experienced in relationships (at least from what I think) I don’t really think anything good can come out from there.
— Thinks could also have been something like:
Dude: “I’m mentally ill, literally got out from an asylum”
The Bitch: “It’s okay”
Dude: *show signs of being mentally ill*
The Bitch: “Uh stop? Can you not??”
Aaand that’s another point that I MAYBE, just MAYBE, could have affected in having a more sane relationship. I don’t know about y’all but if I couldn’t express how I feel or what’s bothering me relating to my mental health I would feel pretty bad about it. But hey, just maybe.
— After the wedding and since they live in a trailer maybe they traveled a bit, looking for differect jobs and such (also avoiding paying taxes too) and after some time they move again to Paradise because Dude got a job at RWS.
— They both do drugs together, one of the few moments I think they would be cool with the presence of the other.
— (tw: sex and cheating mentione) Just like in the movie I think that at the end of their relationship she cheated on him, just like in the film. That’s why he catches gonorrhea. And you may ask “and what if he was the one cheating on her?” that's a possibility too, yeah, but gonorrhea symptoms usually appear between the second or seventh day the person has been infected, and in the game we control Dude for the whole week while she stays on the trailer (and locks him out too). Also in the film she’s the one cheating on her.
— [ I’m really sorry if it sounds like I’m trying to defend the Postal Dude TuT it’s really not my intention ]
— Okay here’s another thing that might change the perspective: maybe before they got married he promised her he would change, implying he would take his medicines, the trailer thing was temporary, etc. Maybe he promised her they would have a happy ending, living in a real house, he would get a stable job, etc. But then she sees he’s not doing anything he promised to her. Months pass and he can keep up a job for more than a month or two. He wastes his money on drugs instead of his medicine. She would get tired, and it’s completely normal, that’s when The Bitch became more distant with him, resentful even. She sees herself stuck in a loveless marriage with a guy who’s a disaster and doesn’t love her, that he’s just with her because… sex? Some company? I dunno. There’s when she started to get more aggressive towards him, making Dude do everything since he didn’t do shit on a daily basis.
That’s a possibility too, but since we don’t know a lot of stuff and what we see in her being a bitch (ba-dum tiss) with him in almost every media it can be for both reasons: she was a pain in the ass from the beginning or maybe he’s always been the problem. They both are, that’s for sure, but maybe one of them is more to blame than the other.
But seeing how everybody is tired of her bullshit (her own sister, Dude and Madcow Mike J) and if you play pacifist Dude is literally just a regular guy in a town of crazy people maybe she fucked up a bit more in terms or relationship.
— Even if I think she’s not really a good person Dude is not a saint either (regardless of which Dude are we talking about and/or they way we’re controlling them), actually far from that, but it’s seen that he actually tries during their marriage (maybe because he doesn’t wants to fight with her, maybe because he still feels something for her -which I doubt considering how he reacts to her dumping him in “Paradise Lost”-, I dunno). In the second game he does all those errands for her and even runs away in “Paradise Lost” instead of, I dunno, kill her in the first instance? And the fact that he tried to kill himself instead of killing her by the end of “Postal 2”? Yeah.
— Also, the end of “Paradise Lost”? Where she technically dies? I think both are canon.
What I mean with that is, the normal ending you get is what she told Dude in pure rage, but after a moment where he leaves her behind (in a moment I’ll come back to that in a moment) she’s starting to regret how she treated him. Sure, he’s an ass in a lot of things, but hey he tried a bit at least. And then she has a breakdown.
— Then Madcow MikeJ kills her because, I mean, it wouldn’t be pretty if your new wife was crying about her ex husband. Maybe killing her wasn’t the best solution but what do you want me to say they’re Paradise citizens lol.
— That’s why in “Postal 4: No Regerts” there’s a sign in Edensin that says Mike J has killed his ex wife (or that’s what the wiki says, I haven’t played the fourth game myself haha) and that’s why the Dude asks her younger sister how’s The Bitch doing.
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aaand that’s all for now, I have others for Dude but I think he’s a bit more complex than her because uh, he’s literally the protagonist and The Bitch only appears in 2 games without counting mentions.
I dunno, I tried to show how I view her a bit.
pd 2: not the first time that I write headcanons but the first time posting them, so excuse me if I don’t explain myself really well (or if there are any typos) and uh if I miss characterize any of the character.
please let me know that last part, I would hate that and I think I have a tiny tendency of doing so :’).
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analiavs · 1 year ago
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Some headcanons for dol villians
(Long)
Briar
Like Whitney would pimp out their partner and has mean girl energy.
I think he’s a bored hedonist, think picture of dorian grey.
Down for anything in the bedroom as long as the partners hot or novel enough (He broke the fucking machine after taking it for “inspection”)
S rank seduction, dance, and all the other assorted sex skills. Sometimes likes to tease his partners by acting submissively, but he’s a total dom (mainly for appearances). And punishes people who “lose the game”
Leighton
He’s either a rich/preppy type whose always been abusing his power over others or was a kylar in school and now takes revenge/likes to feel powerful over his current students (either way a pathetic loser)
Got bullied by the other villians in school. Still gets bullied by Briar at the brothel.
Nobody likes him except for his dog. If its a dogboy/girl has a questionable relationship with it.
Was divorced because his wife found out just what he was doing to his students, but he pulled strings and got her sent to the asylum before she could blow the whistle.
Has blackmail on all the teachers (even or except winter depending on my mood)
Has pathetic sub with a humiliation kink energy, and overcompensates with people he feels he has power over
Bailey
Him charging his adult wards is part of a conspiracy to make sure none of the young blood can afford to leave the town. (the town also has you can walk forever and end up back at the start energy.)
Something lotus door, something lotus-eater adjacent entity.
Part of the big conspiracy that really runs the town, keeps the fog of degeneracy going. Does the twilight thing where he pretends to be a young adult every few decades
Because of that I have reasons to believe he’s a freak in bed, but wouldn’t bust it wide for just anyone
Used to stick by Eden for protection.
Has been to prison energy but as the mastermind he must be phenomenal at getting charges dropped
Remy
My beloved size queen.
Has his favorite cows, but wouldn’t violate his principles without outside influence
Gets jealous easily
May or may not disguise himself and enjoy the biggest schlongs at glory holes and cruising spots
Horse boy/girl
Best horse rider in town
Has spent thousands of dollars on luxury dildos
Has several sex rooms in the mansion
Has a fat ass… fyrom all the riding
Middle aged twink
Is a bottom, hates that
Harper
Used to experiment on other students. Ended up in the asylum when the then science teacher reported him. Leighton was like we can use this and pulled strings to get him out. Freeing him to be the menace he is now.
His diplomas are riddled with spelling errors and forged onto plain paper.
Modded out his dick
If given the opportunity he may be the only person in town that could genuinely work with the entity, because he has no ulterior motives/external drive
Inhumanly strong
Not very charismatic, off-putting, has a vague chemical scent. Only made it this far because of his utility for the bigger players
Could take over the town if he wanted too.
Quinn
Loser. Thought giving up his cheeks for power was a good exchange (press x to regret)
Keeps antagonizing the various entities trying to get more power. If his cheeks weren’t so good he’d have ended up like Kylar’s parents. Bailey threatens him with it sometimes.
More of a puppet for Bailey than anything (press x to regret)
Knows everything going on, but doesn’t have real power to do anything. Probably corrupt enough to not want to change anything
Has gallons full of well cared for tentacle babies (another reason why the entities keep him around). Soon to include wraith babies. Usually wears belly hiding clothes
Spends way to much time in the tentacle realm when he should be mayoring.
Either a shitty mayor or Bailey refuses to allow him to fund public works (thus maintaining his fogs influence over the town) rich pc leaves him with no excuses regardless and he got reamed for it
🌚
Regrets his life’s decisions but enjoys tentacles too much to give up his position
~some of these have probably be debunked but they’re fun to imagine regardless
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cemetery-irises · 7 months ago
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This song is set within Emil's reminiscing while Andrew's recovering from his injuries.
Just for the last two lines I'm tempted to say Emil was involved when they found Andrew like that tbh...
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Now Andrew's out of it and bedbound, but still longing for comfort. Perhaps more so. He still wants to pray, he still wants to help, even if his body fails him. So he tries his best.
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Emil thinks Andrew must have been blessed, because of how kind and gentle he is in the face of a sickly man like Emil.
As I said before, Emil longs for the simple types of affection that Andrew gives him. He wants to be taken care of, properly this time.
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This is a half POV switch half mimicking of Andrew for the first few lines here.
Andrew told Emil that he's scared. That he should leave because he'd hurt them. That he's sure this love is fake. That god told him all of these things.
And Emil, in their clueless blunt way, tells him god must be a liar. Because there's no way that any of it is true...
--- this next part is a scene change. This is about the asylum now, and Emil's scattered fear of it.
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This whole set of lines is about Ada specifically. Even if Ada wasn't exactly malicious with him, he still thinks she was because all the other staff hated the patients.
The second paragraph is him thinking over what could have happened if things went differently. He's not sure that he likes the outcome.
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The "she" in this paragraph specifically refers to the blurry rotation of nurses Emil had to see in the asylum. He could never differentiate between them, but they were all terrifying in his mind.
His hallucinations don't help, and they do heavily influence these lines.
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He finds himself feeling the same emotions that Andrew must have felt when he was alone. But where Andrew was told to run from love, Emil wants to run from the hatred. And he's free, now. It doesn't matter anymore.
He is loved.
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Snapping out of the memory, he concludes that him and Andrew are more similar than he thought. And he cares about Andrew even more.
His god must be lying to say that this man is cursed in any way.
i genuinely. could not respond to this asap or i would have started crying (/pos) but oh my GOD am i insane over this.
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demcnsinmymind · 2 years ago
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@griim
Initially, he'd thought that maybe, this could be an entertaining little change of scenery. Because really, how often did this happen? Someone other than him actively trying to get out of a place? Be it back in Collingwood or here? Soon enough though, Lance's face falls. And he becomes troubled. Because this...this is fucking eerie. Feels like a gut punch. Takes his breath away and makes him feel physically sick just like that, too. Because this is a little too similar now.
I am Gemma Elizabeth Harding. I’m 33 years old… I was experimented on by horrible people.
Just how often has he told himself the very same thing back in that hellhole? Telling others, begging them to believe him?
My name is Lance Preston. I'm 35 years old. I was born in 1968, not 1913. I'm not Sean. My name is Lance Preston. I'm 35 years old. I was born in 1968 not 1913. I don’t belong here.
And then she says it too. The very same fucking words he'd been preaching like gospel. At the same time as he's thinking them. They make his blood run cold. Cause his hands to start shaking, his breath to hitch, his eyes to widen and stare at her. And he's this close to having to ask her.
Are you even real? Is this happening? Is it happening all over again? Am I back in there? Have I never left? What is this? What are you?
Lance tries his best to swallow down the big lump his his throat. Clenches his hands to tight fists to get the shaking under control, failing miserably. His lips are slightly parted already, eager to spill the words, ask the questions, accuse her of not being real, of being one of them, of trying to steal everything from him. Everything that he is. Everything that he wants. Everything that he was. But then she just keeps going with something else. Asking different questions. More questions about the yard and the people who work here.
And here's the point. It's not Collingwood. It's not 1948 anymore. It's now. His time. He does belong here. More or less.
"No. Believe it or not : it's because they know most people in here do not want to leave. Or genuinely can't" Lance answers her question, then slowly approaches the window so he can lean his forehead against the metal bars there, have a look outside while keeping his distance from her. Knowing that she still has that fork.
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"Besides. Place is running on a shoestring budget. Extensive CCTV coverage is expensive as shit. They got outside coverage. So why bother in here."
Cameras. Doesn't he know all about it. Just the thought of them makes Lance half laugh, half wince. Another reason why he likes to be right here in this very spot. No cameras. No silent observation, no act to be played. Just him and the quiet. Which she's so gracefully ruined now. When she asks what makes him special he gives her a single, loud, and most of all bitter laugh, failing to hide how much this question still affects him to this day.
All that talk. Back in the other place. The one. The only one. Keep him alive. This one's special. Why did you kill all of them, but not me? Why are you keeping me here? Why are you doing this to me?! Because you're it. You're special.
It still makes him want to fucking vomit all over the place. Makes him feel so sick. But all he can do is laugh. Miserably. Almost sounding like a proper lunatic again as he helplessly shakes his head and gives her a shrug. Then, he pulls his hands out of his bathrobe pockets and stretches his arms out, presents himself.
"Because I'm the chosen one. Don't you know? I'm it" he replies, his voice filled to the brim with sarcasm and bitterness, even though there's still a part in him that wants to believe it. Needs to believe it. After all, he's the only one who made it out, isn't he? He always did want to be special, remembered, a great success. And here he is now. Lone survivor. Straight to the next asylum.
He waves his hands around in the air for a bit, giving her his signature grin, even if it fails to reach his eyes.
"Surprise" Lance answers her observation of the fact that no, he is not dead. Folding his arms over his chest now, he lets out a soft sigh and keeps looking out the window, unable to look her in the eye. "Have to try a lot harder than..." hammering an icepick into my brain. Even with all this pride and confidence, Lance still cannot speak it out, wavering a bit. "...well. Have to try harder to take this one down. Still. Making them believe I'm a goner has more perks than disadvantages, but no. I'm not dead. I fucking made it out of there" he clarifies, eyes fierce and angry for a hot minute, until his face grows softer again, almost vulnerable. Because here she is. Asking him the question about what matters to him the most. His identity. His real name. Himself. Not 'the one'. Not 'the patient'. Not 'Sean'. Just...
"It's Lance. Lance Preston."
He regards her outstretched hand for a while, obviously considering to just take it, but in the end, it's the distrust and fear that wins. Because even now, despite her general behavior that tells him that she's just as much of a lost and trapped soul as him, he won't ever be able to get rid of that what if again. What if she's one of them. What if she's not real. What if shaking that hand means making a deal with yet another devil. He can't risk that. Fears it. So he doesn't take her hand, doesn't shake it. He just keeps looking at her.
"Nice to meet you, Gemma" he still says, hoping that it comes across as civil enough for now. "And I haven't just tried. I did. I got out. For a while at least." With that, he turns his head again so he can stare outside, look up at the sky, lost in thought, almost woeful. "Different place though." After a short pause, he's looking back at her, regarding her differently. "If you want my advice: they're never going to believe you. Trust me. Been there, done that. Best you can do is just...focus on yourself. Figure out a plan. Wait for the right moment. This is not it."
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Gemma did not remember doing it, though how could she? Everything is rewritten and wiped out hours later, clean slate, new story. Who's to say she even killed those ten guards? “They would not wake up…” She mutters as flashes of that night play out in her mind, “They would not wake up. I'm sorry. Was I not my best?” Gemma did not remember doing it, though how could she? Dolls were not supposed to remember that was the beauty of it. Who could say she even killed those ten guards? “They wouldn’t wake up…” She mutters as flashes of that night replayed in her mind, “They would not wake up. I'm sorry. Was I not my best?” Simple phrases repeated the whole ride to the asylum, no one saying a word to her, mind unable to tell where they were going. She quieted down. Wherever they were going, she assumed it would be great. The handlers and the others always took such good care of her. Or that was what she had been imprinted to believe.
‘This one is dangerous. A killer.’ Killer? She thought, what was a killer? She was Gemma.. Or Persephone, both. She was both, sometimes. ‘Yes, we want no contact with her. We feel it best for her healing that we have no contact.’ Looking up at her ‘father,’ she remained seated in the chair as people spoke about her like she was not there. Because, honestly, Gemma was never fully there. She had not been for some time, though if you dug deep enough, there were some residual bits of the person that once was, fighting for control. When Gemma was alone, she would fight to control herself and remember who she was. No, who she IS.
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This was not her room. No. Gemma knew what her room was, and this light was too harsh. Her eyes look side to side, almost as if she is searching for something desperately. Panic had set in. This was not the place she was used to. All of this was NEW. Something new was scary. “I’d like to go to another room, please. I’d like to go swimming.” Gemma called out softly, though mutters followed as if she were talking to herself. Always talking to herself. ‘They are not going to help you… no one believes you, Gemma. They think you are crazy..’ Putting her hands to her head, she rocks back and forth a little, trying to soothe herself. “I tried to be my best…”
‘Snap out of it… Get up and get out of here. Fight for yourself. They need to know what Dad did. And what HYDRA did to you. You are not crazy. You do not belong in a place like this. You need help, real help, not drugs, and these annoying lights.’ Giving herself a little pep talk, Gemma needed a plan. She needed to escape and find a SAFE place to tell people what happened, to let the world know what is in the shadows. Gemma remembered seeing a blind spot in the hallway. Maybe if she could get there, she could get out. Once out, she could run, run until she could not anymore. Someone had to listen, right? Getting up, the medicine they had given her finally wearing off, she wobbled a little before walking to her door. Surprised to find it open, she pushes it and steps out into the hallway, her brown eyes glancing around. No one seemed to be around, ‘good,’ she mutters as she quickly tries to remember where the spot was.
Finding it, Gemma begins to plan her next steps. However, the only tool Gemma had was a metal fork she had managed to slip off a nurse from her lunch. Didn’t they know not to bring metal objects here? Continuing to work at the window, she figured if she could jimmy it open, she could get through there and make her way out. Muttering to herself, she kept repeating her name, the age she believed she was, and what was done to her. Gemma NEEDS to remember. “I am Gemma Elizabeth Harding. I’m 33 years old… I was experimented on by horrible people. I have moments where I am this Doll, this person they created so they cou-” As she continued to work at the window, she heard a voice speak. ‘Shit.’ Has she been caught? If so, maybe she could play the confused patient. Easy enough, right? Especially with the cocktail they had her on.
“What do you mean? I am just-” Then she noticed he was pointing at something, eyes quickly looking over to where he had been gesturing. Finally noticing what seemed to be a guard post, she sighed. He was right, even if she did manage to get out there. The guards would probably be right on her attempting to bring her back in and drug her even more. Maybe that was what those people wanted. Her so drugged she would naturally forget. Or die. “Look, I gotta get out of here at any cost, okay? I need them to believe me. I need them to know what they did to me. I don’t belong here.” She sounded urgent, and if you did not know any better, you would think she did belong here for a case of someone with severe paranoia. Gemma sighed, slipping the fork back into the clothing pocket. She was not going to give up the only weapon she had. “So if they know of this spot, why don’t they put a camera here? Or is it so we can try to escape, and they have something to do?” She asked, leaning over to look more, trying to see if she could still stage an escape.
‘So they don’t let anyone into that yard. Maybe I need to try to sweet-talk my way into that yard. Get a look at the land for myself. It’s one thing to hear it from someone. Not that I think this man is entirely trustworthy, but at least it’s something. Right?’ Gemma muses, figuring if she was going to stay ‘sane,’ she needed to talk herself through all of this.
“So they take you out because they want to smoke and talk? What makes you so special?” Gemma raises a brow. Maybe if she could find out how to get their attention to let her out there, she could seize the opportunity. “Wait, they think you are brain-dead? Because you don’t seem brain-dead to me, not that I know what that means. But I know dead means bad.” She walked away from the window, staying in the blind spot, arms crossing over her chest. “Your name is Preston?” It was a start, getting to know someone's name here. Maybe they could be helpful. If she was stuck here, a friend would do her good.
“I’m Persep- NO,” she quickly corrected, “I am Gemma.” Holding out her hand, she smiled, “Gemma Harding.” She needed to stop this, the imprint was not her, and she was not an imprint. What had been done to her was torture and needed to be exposed. "And by the way you talk about this stuff, you've tried to escape before, right?"
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bella-goths-wife · 2 years ago
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Slashers toxic traits
Michael Myers: lack of communication
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Michael refuses to communicate with you
Not because he can’t, he can, but also because he just doesn’t want to
You at first thought that he just didn’t like to use his voice
So you offered to teach him sign language or to give him a notebook to write things down for you
But he completely refused and stormed out the house
Another thing he does is leave you for weeks at a time
He’ll justify it to himself as needing to get his frustrations out by killing people
But you just see it as an excuse to not be around you for weeks
Sometimes you think that he’s just using you for food, sex and a place to sleep
Let’s say you break up with him like in my other post and he tries to get you back and succeeds like in this post
After that he does genuinely try and work on his communication skills and cuts down of the time he spends killing
To prove he wants the relationship to work he even learns how to communicate with you in sign language
But if he does succeed in getting back together with you it’s unlikely that Michael will make the mature alterations to his actions and will probably continue to sabotage your relationship
This is because he has the emotional intelligence of a child
You can’t really blame him for that, the asylum wasn’t the best place to be raised to be functional in adult relationships
Bo Sinclair: his temper
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Bo has major anger issues
We can see that especially with Vincent
He throws stuff, yells and breaks household items
But then you came along
At the start of the relationship, Bo hides his temper and forces down his anger to seem like the perfect partner
He fooled himself into thinking that you made him a better person and that you could “fix him”
So he attached himself to you and rushed your relationship in an unconscious attempt to trap you in the relationship
But after a few months his temper came back and he no longer took it out on Vincent
He never physically hurt you, but he would yell at you for hours and his words would hurt just as much as if he physically punched you
If we’re going in the same universe as my break up post, the situation that pushed you over the edge was when he threw something and it missed your face by inches
You left and reminded Bo that you made him better and he made you worse
But I do genuinely think he could change as I’ve stated in this post
I think with therapy and talking about his issues that the two of you could have a genuinely healthy relationship
But this only works if he goes to therapy, if he doesn’t but you still go back to him, he’ll put the charming, calm facade that he had when you first started dating
It’ll quickly fade away though and then your back to square one
Vincent Sinclair : jealousy
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Vincent has always been a jealous person
He was jealous of his brothers, for looking normal
He was jealous of Bo, for being called the handsome twin
He was jealous of his victims sometimes, because they got to have a normal, non abusive childhood
He was jealous of you when you first met, because you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and he wished he could be as beautiful as you
But when you started dating, his jealousy was ramped up to the next level
He saw every male as someone who wanted to steal you away
And when you and Bo started to form a sort of sibling bond, Vincent saw the “handsome brother” trying to take away the one person who was his
Vincent has a massive inferiority complex so he sees Bo as your perfect partner even though you and Bo are completely non attracted to each other
So that makes Vincent see you as an object, his object
That will eventually cause you to leave him
But if you get back with him like in this post, then Vincent will genuinely try and change his behaviour
He’ll become less possessive and jealous of you and he’ll see you as a person again
Not just as his beautiful object but as your own person with thoughts and feelings like him
Of course he still gets jealous but now instead of letting it fester and rot, he’ll talk about it with you and you can reassure him that you only love him
But that’s only if he can change, if he can’t he’ll let you go
If he genuinely does try but can’t change his behaviour no matter your reassurance, he’ll let you leave
Then you can be free and he loves you too much to see you go back to being sheltered again
Thomas Hewitt : not standing up to his family
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Thomas loves his family
Correction he loves Luda may, but he still cares about Hoyt and monty
He adores Luda may but even she has used him as a verbal punching bag just like everyone else in the family
And that never really bothered him, until you came around
Luda may never really liked you because of her sons infatuation with you, she thought you were a temptress who made him stray from the Christian way
So along with Hoyt and monty she would give you snide remarks and verbal beat downs any chance she got
And while Thomas didn’t like how upset you were afterwards, he revelled In the fact he was no longer the family punching bag
He would never admit it but he secretly enjoyed when you would get yelled at because that meant he was safe
He definitely regrets his actions when you break up with him because he never stood up for you
And while sometimes he wanted to, he was too afraid of his family
So when you leave it breaks him
Let’s say he succeeds in getting you back though like in my other posts
He would attempt to heal all the wounds his family caused you and explains how he feared his family because he was raised being verbally and sometimes physically abused by his family
He has moved out of the house into an abandoned home in the village and only visits his family once a week to collect some meat and help kill some of the “livestock”
The only way the relationship would work is if he keeps his family separated from you and if he gave himself some independence from them
If he doesn’t then you’ll be put in the same position as before because even though he’s afraid to lose you, he’s more afraid of his family
If he does though, the two of you will live a relatively happy life and will even see each other as husband and wife
Asa Emory : lack of care for partners feelings
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as I’ve said in my break up post, Asa treats you like a pet
He gives you little to no respect in a relationship especially of you were kidnapped beforehand
So of course this bothers you a lot
He especially shows his lack of care for you feelings when he practically uses you as a vessel to clear his pent up sexual aggression in the bedroom but he never cares about your pleasure and aftercare
In my breakup post, the thing that pushed you over the edge was when he said he was “owed some kind of payment for keeping you” so you left him
But he still doesn’t make a pure hearted attempt at changing, he instead decided to manipulate you into loving him again
And while yes, he does actually unknowingly and treats you more like a person in the relationship that doesn’t make up for the fact he’s using you still
He’ll constantly love bomb you with gifts, moving you into his home and a big expensive wedding all so you’ll play the part of American housewife
If your afab he also does it to give himself a son so he can pass down his traditions
Tiffany valentine : holding on to feelings for ex’s
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Tiffany loved you with her whole heart, but she had a problem with fantasising about what her life would have been like if she had married Chucky
As stated in my break up post, she still held a candle for him and still brought him back to life
She was so caught up with this fantasy she forgot she was actually dating a loving, supportive partner like you
She practically cheated on you when she brought chucky back to life and talked about getting married to him and when you found out you got out of there immediately
That broke the fantasy for Tiffany along with Chucky admitting that he never wanted to marry Tiffany
So she settled with Chucky and it got her killed
She works on herself more when Glenda/glen came around and found that she truly missed you and was still deeply in love with you
Any love for Chucky had faded away after his constant verbal attacks and threats to their child
So like I said in this post when her soul is transferred to Jennifer tillys body, she sees this as a second chance with you and deceives you
She eventually comes clean to you and begs for your forgiveness which you give her
Honestly, I think the relationship will only truly work if Chucky is dead because he’ll always have a weird hold over Tiffany
But she does try and change for you and will be a pretty supportive and loving partner after your break up
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goldenkamuyhunting · 3 years ago
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Hello hello! I LOVE your summaries and chapter & character analyses! I just wanted to ask...what is the significance of the bottom panel with little Ogata and his mom plus that text? Maybe I'm reading his expression wrong, but little Ogata seems to be looking lovingly at his mom (looks like a slight smile on his face)? It's interesting that this was shown near the final battle...
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Sorry, I placed these three asks together because they deal with a similar topic.
Now, as I mentioned more than once I'm in the group that believes that Ogata is indeed feeling emotions like any human being but he's used to suppress them so that not only he often doesn't show them but he manages to keep his conscious side not even aware of them.
I've a by now ancient meta dealing with how characters in the story cope with guilt trying to suppress it, as this is a recurring theme through GK.
Noda seems to remark on how Ogata is so good at ignoring his guilt yet he's feeling it by giving to said guilt a manifestation in form of Ogata hallucinating Yuusaku.
Basically, unless we assume Yuusaku is a real wandering ghost tormenting Ogata, the fact Ogata keeps on hallucinating Yuusaku tells us he feels guilty, that murdering Yuusaku wasn't like stepping on a leaf for him, an act he did without thinking about it and forgot short after.
The memory of Yuusaku torments Ogata each time his psychological defences are at their weakest point, we see it happening when he was lying in a hospital after having been injuried by Sugimoto but also when in Karafuto he get feverish and, in this case, Yuusaku's image superimpose with Asirpa, creating in his mind a subconscious connection.
Later, in fact Yuusaku's hallucination will 'stop' him each time he'll try to shoot Asirpa.
We see something similar happening to Asirpa as well, as, when she consider killing Ostrog, she can't because she's reminded of when her arrow hit Ogata.
In Asirpa the whole thing is more natural as, although she too is prone to suppress negative emotions, she's not really doing it as much as Ogata, who's a lot more psychologically damaged than Asirpa will ever be.
Ogata has likely felt affection for his mother.
He remembers her, he dreams her as she sung him a lullaby, he used to love the anglerfish nabe she made, when he realized she was going insane, he tried to 'heal' her by providing her other things to cook.
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When he lies about Sugimoto's last words in his mind he basically imagines Sugimoto's last minutes were what he wanted his father's last minutes to be, him thinking at his mother, him wanting to provide to her, him wanting to eat her anglerfish nabe again.
He had genuine attachment for his mother.
I don't know how he came up with the idea that, if she were to die, his father would finally come for her.
I know back then insane people weren't entrusted to a mental asylum but left in the family's 'care' the family either keeping trapped in a room that would work as a cell or disposing of them as discreetly as possible (a common way was to bring them to a trip on the mountains and 'forget' them there).
This social background could have influenced him but I don't know if we'll ever know why he came up with such an idea.
But that act likely impacted deeply on his psyche because Hanazawa never came and he lost his mother.
Possibly it's from that act Ogata learnt to bury guilt. So as not to feel pain for his own actions, for his own loss, he learnt to bury it, to disconnect from it and grew up with the idea he felt none when instead he continued to repress it... which is encouraged because Ogata becomes a soldier when he's really young and soldiers are actively encouraged and brainwashed into not feeling guilt for killing people.
And so Ogata ends up on meeting Yuusaku who latches on him like a lost puppy, without any care for how Ogata, as politely as he could, told him to let him be.
As far as Ogata knows, Yuusaku is the reason due to why Hanazawa stopped visiting his mother.
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Ogata doesn't want to play the role of the 'Ani-sama' (兄様 "older brother") to the guy who, according to what he knows, caused his mother's abandonment... and Tsurumi feeds this feeling by suggesting if Yuusaku were out of the picture Hanazawa would love Ogata.
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All this eventually leads to Yuusaku's demise, which, again, gives Ogata nothing. Hanazawa doesn't care for Ogata all the same. When Ogata goes and talk with him there's the implication his mother was already starting to lose her mind and that's why Hanazawa rejected her.
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My speculation is Tome was a bit like Usami, obsessed with Hanazawa, thinking he would eventually dump his wife and marry her.
She, as far as we know, differently from Usami didn't get to the point she murdered someone to get Hanazawa, but he probably saw her obsession as insanity, he likely never planned to leave his wife, which is from the upper class, and marry a geisha and this is possibly why he left her, because she wouldn't content herself with being just his lover but had the 'insane' fantasy she could become more.
Anyway, while Ogata probably managed to bury deep enough the guilt for his mother's death, he just can't work out in the same way the guilt for Yuusaku's death, which haunts him even though he tries to deny it even to this day.
It's meaningful how in chap 253, when he tries to aim at Asirpa, he senses Yuusaku in the same way as he has sensed it in chap 246, when he was trying to aim at her again but, despite Ogata being usually intelligent, he doesn't manage to make the connection between those two happenings.
Actually in chap 253 the fact he got distracted by Yuusaku's presence even saved his life, yet he interprets it as Yuusaku's ghost trying to get in his way.
He lives in denial, his father, with his dying breath, cursed him so of course Yuusaku would be there to get in his way.
Either there's really a ghost in this story or Ogata is just not ready to accept he feels guilty.
And in all this mess he stumbles into Asirpa who we can see presents parallels with both his mother (she feeds him but she also loves someone who loves another) and Yuusaku.
And so at this point we've to wonder where Noda is going to lead him.
Since there was all this big build up between him and Asirpa, we can wonder if he'll face her again and this will force him to face the emotions he repressed for such a long time.
Will this cause him to be more open with his emotions and not suprress them? Will this cause him to accept he feels guilty? Will it make him cry? Will it make him show affection for someone again?
It's hard to say.
Unless Noda radically changed his plans, as I've said many times, I don't think he plans to kill Ogata... but this doesn't necessarily mean he'll make a 180° turn from how he is.
We've seen how Tsukishima tried to face what he kept inside... only to go back on square 1 and return on being a loyal Tsurumi follower.
We've seen Koito trying to be different... but then he let doubt catch him and he didn't dare to confront Tsurumi when he understood the latter knew they were there.
Changing is difficult.
We saw Shiraishi... slowly growing attached to Sugimoto and Asirpa to the point he went into the brewery despite the fire to save Sugimoto (and we've heard Boutarou saying through his whole permanence into the group how Shiraishi changed from how he was even though Shiraishi himself denied it).
Changing is possible... but it requires time... and, often, it requires help, a reason to do so. Shiraishi changed because he formed an emotional bond with Sugimoto and Asirpa due to the GOOD time they spent together. They had bad times as well, but the good ones just won.
So, back to Ogata... even if he finally were to face what he keeps inside... how much this would change him?
Hard to say but this is not a shonen so I doubt we'll have a drastical change in a short amount of time.
The story is ending, my guess, according to what Noda did, is Ogata isn't going to die but, all the bets are open on how he's going to live.
Tears when he were to face his buried feelings would be a good release of bottled up emotions but again, it depends on how he faces them. If he does it the bare minimum to realize he actually can feel guilt, we might not get them.
There's no time for him to develop emotional attachment/affection. Either he already has it, and he is in denial for it, or this is something that will require time. So it's a bit like a videogame. Will Noda unlock this event or not?
As Noda showed a flashback with his mother of whome we hadn't seen the face yet, I expect we'll get more about her... and possibly about his grandparents.
So yeah, we could get to see a more emotional Ogata, but it can also be this won't be the case... or Noda will save the best scenes for the volume version because sometimes Noda is like that.
Long story short, I've no idea what will be of Ogata beyond that I think that Noda won't kill him and that he has been building him up to have him face 'the ghosts of his pasts' and it's possible he's meant to do it while facing Asirpa but I think we should prepare ourselves for an interesting ride because Noda so far still seems to have plans for him.
We'll see... thank you all for your asks and sorry if I put them together!
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youarejesting · 4 years ago
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Mad
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[MASTER LIST] Beta: @fluffy-fluffu​ Rating: 18+ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader x V Genre: SMUT, mature, angst, fluff, mystery, thriller Words: 4.9k WARNINGS & TRIGGERS: psych ward in a mental asylum from back in the 1920’s, misguided medical practices; Electroshock therapy etc. Multiple personality disorder/alter ego’s/Dissociative Identity Disorder, Sex, Dirty Talk, Masturbation, Fingering, Exhibitionism, Voyuerism, blow jobs, Yandere V. If you squint for a split second there is like a slight hesitation in the reader but they consent. Nurse sleeps with the patient. Sad boy Tae, Tae vs. V, Talks about cum, Restraints, Sedation.
Summary: Taehyung from room 10 on the ward is being haunted by V a mischievous sexual deviant. Taehyung likes puzzles and his friends which includes you. But V likes you, your hair, your face and the warmth between your thighs. It’s a fight between Taehyung and V who will win?
Authors note: This is in no way shape of form a diagnosis of DID or multiple personalities nor is it an accurate depiction of said mental disorders or illnesses. This is purely fictional. If you are triggered by old medical horror please don’t read. If you identify anything you think should be added to the warnings and triggers let me know so I can warn others.
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“The patients on this ward are docile, they won’t hurt you” the nurse explained, smiling softly. It was your first day, you were a fresh new nurse and it was safe to say you were a little scared of your new working environment. “The only one we want you to look out for is um, the patient in room number 10” 
“Number 10?” you repeated. 
“Let me introduce you to some of them.” You had already met some, there was a group who thought they were kittens and puppies and it was adorable. “Hyuka, don’t scratch the mattress” the head nurse chided before guiding him to the bathroom. 
You heard a noise from room 10. It  sounded a lot like something fell. You walked over and quickly scanned over his chart. “Patient is manipulative, he can do whatever is needed to get what he wants, compulsive sexual behaviour, the patient has two prominent altering personalities, Taehyung and V. When the patient addresses himself as V it is best to leave.”
You unlocked the door, peering inside you saw him cuddling his pillow in deep slumber. He seemed to have knocked something off from the bedside table in his sleep. You sighed softly before walking over, trying not to wake him while doing so. 
He had a beautiful face. It was honestly making you feel self conscious to be around him, you fought the urge to brush your hand through his soft curls and crouched down to pick the book up off the floor. 
You stayed crouched whilst examining the book. It seemed to be a comic book you concluded, a famous one that you knew of. You moved to put it back to its original place. As you were about to stand you turned to the patient to see his eyes open, staring directly at you. 
“Hello?” He yawned rubbing his eyes “I am Taehyung”
“Hello Taehyung, I was just picking up your book, how are you feeling this morning?”
“I’m tired, who are you?”
“I am the new nurse” you smiled as he sat up rubbing his hand over his arm casually scratching an itch.
“You are new, that’s exciting” he smiled sitting up properly on his hospital bed showing his impeccable manners “What’s your name?”
“My name is Nurse Y/L/N,” you said with a soft smile trying to appear friendly. From the hall you heard the head nurse call out.
“Kim Namjoon, please don’t try to escape this morning. We are about to serve breakfast okay? You know breakfast is important to fuel that big brain of yours, so sit back down while I will get you a book. How does that sound?”
You turned to look at the door which was still a fraction open, when a hand touched your hair.  Your body went stiff, heart racing in fear. You had turned your back on him. One of the most important things to remember on your first day and you had to let him get the upper hand. 
“Your hair is really pretty, I like the colour” he smiled and you turned, giving him a polite and gentle smile. 
“Thank you Taehyung, you are so sweet” you smiled. “Are you hungry? I can bring your breakfast in, if you would like?”
“I have to shower first, I have a schedule; shower, breakfast and then I get to do some activities” he said 
“Nurse y/n?” The head nurse said “is everything okay?”
“Yes of course Taehyung and I are just talking, he is telling me about his schedule” you smiled 
“Well aren’t you nice this morning Taehyung,”
“Hello Taehyung, are you ready for your shower?'' the male nurse appeared at the door smiling. Stepping past you he uncuffed the patient's ankle chain that restrained him to the bed, there was raw skin where the metal dug into his flesh and some blood stains on the corner of the sheet. 
“You must be the new nurse. I am Jihoon, a resident nurse on the ward, if you need any help, or there is something you're not comfortable with you can call me,” he grinned, shaking your hand. You thought you heard Taehyung scoff which made you blink up at him curiously. You shrugged it off thinking maybe it was all in your head. 
“My name is Y/n,” you prompted yourself to move on, “it’s nice to meet you” 
“Nurse Y/n, could you get some spare clothes and bring them back?” Jihoon asked softly, “Tae’s clothes are in the green cube on the shelf.”
You went along the corridor and found the cubed shelves. Each cube seemed to have a coloured basket, the green one had Kim Taehyung written on it. “Hello?” A voice called behind you, you turned to see two young men sitting playing cards at a table. 
“Hello, my name is nurse y/n, What are your names?”
“My name is Hoseok” the man laughed
“And I am Jungkook-ah” the other said sweetly “we are roommates, will you sit with us at lunch?”
“I will have to see if I am allowed. I don’t want to get in trouble,” you grinned before waving and heading back to Taehyung’s room where you heard the sound of banter coming from the bathroom. 
“You don’t want to miss breakfast,” Jihoon said standing in the doorway, keeping a lookout for any sudden movements. “Oh Y/n! Thanks, you can leave the clothes anywhere”
You took it upon yourself to make the bed and tried to disregard the blood and other intimate stains on the white sheets. You looked up and caught sight of Taehyung in the reflection of the mirror, he was watching you. His eyes were not wide with curiosity as you thought it would be, no rather they were hooded with something darker. 
“Nurse Jihoon, I am almost finished with my shower” he moaned, still staring at your reflection, you saw how his arm shook and how his lips fell open in ecstasy. “I just have to finish this, it would be quicker if it wasn’t my own hand for a change”
Once the bed was made you ran off into the hall trying to ignore the sounds and clear the images from your head. 
You helped serve breakfast and smiled sitting with the two young men from earlier. The nurse who showed you around had approved of the two boys, saying they were harmless. She did however have a bit of a laugh, “this one is Hoseok and that one isn’t Jungkook, his name is Jimin, they are roommates one has narcolepsy and the other is a pathological liar”
You sat down, talking with them about their card game and laughed at some of their jokes. Jimin promised you the world and told you sweet nothings. He even proposed to you several times, you concluded he was a shameless flirt. 
“Hey Jiminie?” Taehyung said walking over, and brushing his fingers along Jimin's neck, “you want to play a game of cards?”
“I can't, I have to go to a photoshoot today.” He said before standing up, “I should get ready.”
“What a shame, maybe next time?” He smirked. The boy across the table started to draw frantically. You looked over and saw it was a general shape and the clothes and hair were that of Taehyungs but the face was distorted. You hummed at the boy's work.
“Nurse, the young ones are going to play outside.” The head nurse in charge of this ward announced, eyeing Taehyung carefully. “Would you be so kind as to watch over them? Please make sure they don’t eat anything strange.”
“Of course. I will be back in a little while,” You told the boys, they were so cute, it was like playing make believe but there was no turning it off. They really thought they were cats and dogs and you loved them already despite it only being your first day. You wanted to protect them while they were in this headspace no matter what.
Looking up at the second floor of the hospital you saw Taehyung pressed against the glass looking down at you. He seemed to be angry at the fact that you were playing with the boys. You saw him get dragged away from the glass and you could not help but feel concerned, hoping he hadn’t gotten hurt.
You didn’t see him for the rest of the day he had been confined to his room and when you walked past all you could hear was crying and begging. You went to open the door but Jungkook, the silent patient grabbed your wrist gently. He handed you two sketches one was labeled Taehyung and it was him smiling and looking happy and genuinely adorable. The other was labeled V and it was the distorted picture from the morning. You flicked through the rest of the book and saw the others drawn, they looked a little different from real life but you knew who was who. The five young boys were drawn as cats and dogs making you smile.
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The next day started a little differently, your shift started at lunch and you saw Taehyung sitting at the table looking forlorn, he was bandaged and looked weak. “They sedated him yesterday”,one of the nurses gossiped, “apparently he was trying to come onto one of the nurses working yesterday”
“I wish it was me, I would let him do whatever he wants,” Another nurse whispered back, you ignored them as you walked over and smiled “Good afternoon, how are you all feeling today?”
“Nurse y/n! You are here” Namjoon said, “Tell me, do you have any books to read at home?”
“I have a small bookshelf, why?”
“Well, I am bored and I would like some more books to read” He said and you hummed, “How about instead I tell you a story little by little so you have things to think about throughout the day?”
He reluctantly accepted and you started the story. There was a small giggle at one of the jokes made by Taehyung and you smiled, he looked so tired and soft in his little blanket, his wrists and ankles bandaged.
You were there for a while and the group began playing different card games, you had to explain some of the games and they picked up the concept quickly.
Taehyung left after a while, yawning while stating he was too tired to continue playing and the boys waved goodbye to him. 
Jimin who just yesterday was afraid of him, walked him to his room, practically carrying Taehyung on his back while singing that they were soulmates.
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It was odd because Taehyung didn’t seem that strange and when he did it wasn’t as extreme as people made it out to be. You had noticed Taehyung was a sweet boy, whilst V was just a little more forward and flirty. 
Sure he still had his tendencies to do inappropriate things but you tried to ignore those moments and be professional at all times. 
The problem was they began haunting you at night and you were finding it hard to keep your fantasies at bay. He was charming, flirty, and pleasing to the eye, could you really be blamed for being attracted to him? 
The first time you met V and you mean really met V was when you were greeting him one morning and he sat there smirking at you. 
“Hey there bad kitty, you want some milk?” He had his hand wrapped around his hard shaft. It was thick and the tip was an angry red, oozing out precum.  “I want to give you all my milk, but you're a bad kitty and won’t take it”
You tried repressing the images from your head, squeezing your thighs together for some sort of friction, nothing has ever aroused you and made you this wet so quickly. Ignoring him as he jerked off on the bed you continued your act of nonchalance at his actions. You picked up his clothes off the floor and placed them in the wash basket. 
You dodged his hand reaching out to grab you and he frowned before going back to his previous task. You cleaned his bedside table, he was becoming very vocal and more profoundly dirty as time went on. He had resorted to explaining everything about what he wanted to do to you in great detail. 
Your underwear was soaked at this point and you were finding it hard to breath. You had to leave right then, you didn't know how long you could remain professional. You moved to pick up the book that had fallen off the bed, losing focus of your distance from the bed. You were briskly reminded when he took a firm grip of your hair. 
Fuck. 
You cursed at yourself, you made a huge mistake letting your guard down. Stupid stupid stupid. He pulled you up by your hair. “Open your mouth.” He growled as he came on your face. You watched him as his face contorted he growled and came hard as you kept your mouth firmly shut. When he finally finished he let go of your hair. 
“You wasted my milk bad kitty” he huffed watching you clean your face in the sink before you promptly rushed out of his room. 
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Taehyung sat confused after breakfast. He took a puzzle and started working, “You okay Tae?”
“Oh hey, yeah I am just working on this puzzle, I am just a little confused” he smiled as the two of you sat and started working on the puzzle. It was a basket of kittens. 
“This one looks like you” he laughed “you are a kitty”
The words and context were so innocent but you couldn’t help but remember what happened that morning and you glanced at the young man from the corner of your eye. 
“What did he do?” Taehyung asked
“It was nothing you should be worried about” you smiled patting his head. “We should only worry about finishing this puzzle”
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The night shift was different, you ate dinner with the residence and you all sat and watched a movie afterwards. It was a general audience movie with nothing bad in it. 
Taehyung leant his head on your shoulder as everyone else including the other nurses sat watching the movie as well. The male nurse was sitting with the five young boys. They laid their heads in his laps and he gave them pets on their backs, trying to give all of them equal attention, otherwise one would whine and rub their heads into his arms. 
The female nurse sat with Namjoon painstakingly discussing the movie instead of actually watching it. You and Taehyung were wrapped up in his blanket and you felt his hand start slithering down towards one of your thighs rubbing it tenderly. You glanced at him to see him smirking at you, “You’re such a bad kitty aren’t you?” 
His hand slipped under your dress and into your underwear. His finger grazed your clit gently making you shift in your seat. Taehyung snickered as you bit back a moan, he moved inconspicuously a little closer and whispered in your ear. His voice was deep and barely audible, his breath brushing the shell of your ear.
“You are a bad kitty aren’t you?” He pressed his nose against your neck and inhaled deeply, “Bad kitty smells nice”
Your mouth fell open, a silent gasp escaping as he pushed a single digit inside of you, “Taehyung, stop” You warned him and he chuckled darkly.
“I am not Taehyung, I am V” He took your free hand under the blanket and brushed it against his dick, letting out a small satisfied moan. He tried to pry your fingers open but you refused, he growled lowly and pushed another digit inside you. Whilst you were distracted he slid himself into your closed fist letting it mould around his shaft.
Unintentionally your fingers clenched around his boner as he gently guided your hand along his length back and forth. You kept your mouth firmly shut but it didn’t seem to stop the feelings from building, you were panting softly, the wet sounds coming from between your legs becoming more audible to you and you sighed in relief when you sawa loud action scene was underway in the movie. 
He pumped his fingers and moved your hand faster as his breathing became sporadic. V turned to you, biting your shoulder hard and coming into your hand. Without hesitation V pressed his thumb against your clit as he pumped his finger into you harder and you came, your body almost doubling over in pleasure.
“You are a bad kitty” He grinned, pushing your hand to your mouth “Lick your milk.”
“No,” You muttered seemingly uninterested and his smile disappeared.
“Bad, bad kitty” He watched as you got up and left.
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As the days passed you understood more and more the difference between Taehyung and his counterpart V. You loved Taehyung, he was such a sweet boy who could do no wrong, but, you longed for the thrill of V, it took everything in your power to refuse his advances. 
An easy way to establish who you were talking to was their nicknames for you, Taehyung called you a Kitty after that fateful day of doing a puzzle together. Whereas V called you Bad Kitty for reasons unknown.
One day during the night shift you heard Taehyung crying. Stepping into the room you saw how he wiped his eyes quickly, feigning that he was okay. “Hey, Taehyung, tell me what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing please, you can go?” He sniffled, choosing to ignore his request you got closer and sat on the edge of his bed concerned.
“I am here now, I want to know what has got you so upset?”
He looked up at you innocently. The bedside lamp was his only source of light and it was quite dull. It made the room feel small as the shadows waited on the edge.
“I remember less and less, V is taking over and I can’t remember things, the boys sometimes get really nervous with me, Jungkook’s pictures are horrific.” He sniffed, “I have never been with a lady, let alone kissed someone and he has done such vulgar things”
You leaned over and kissed him before leaning back and smiling softly, “You have kissed a girl now”
He was frozen, fingers slowly pressing to his lips in shock, “Wait, nurse can I um, can you kiss me again a real kiss, I want to know what it feels like” 
You knew you shouldn’t have but you let him. Yet you kissed him and he kissed back, it was soft and timid. He pulled back, “That was amazing, if I was just a normal person. Would there be a chance that you would ever like me, Kitty?”
“I would.” You smiled brushing his hair back and smiling at the innocence in his eyes.
“Would you let me take you out to dinner?” He asked softly, you nodded “Would you let me kiss you and maybe even spend the night together?”
You nodded and he frowned, “I wish I was normal, I just want to be normal” He cried into your shoulder hugging you and as you held him he kissed you softly. You didn’t have the heart to stop him with how gentle and kind he was. He pleaded sadly, “Please, just once, just tonight”
You were helpless to the look in his eyes and you shut his door climbing onto his bed where you kissed him, touching his body as he did the same. The light tinkling of his ankle cuff was the only thing keeping you alert to any possible dangers. But he was gentle. Taehyung wasn’t V.
“Does this feel okay?” He whispered “I am not hurting you?”
Riding him was like a dream, he guided you with his hands on your hips and you felt his heart racing against your hands that were on his chest. Right before he was going to finish, you got off and took him in your mouth, you weren’t going to take any risks without any condoms.
“Yes kitty,” he whispered as he grabbed your head and came. You managed to pull away and he came all over the two of you causing him to frown, “bad kitty you got us all dirty”
Alarm bells rang but he still looked so innocent and carefully wiped your face with a tissue, apologizing the whole time. Taehyung helped you dress and even helped you tie up your hair. “I am really thankful that you helped me experience something, I won’t tell anyone, I don’t want you to lose your job or anything”
“It’s okay, Taehyung, I trust you.” He gave your hand an affectionate squeeze and you slipped out the room before people would start to suspect something.
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You and Taehyung spend the next few days bonding, he warns you when he feels himself slipping away and you have enough time to prepare before V emerges. Whilst painting in the garden Taehyung is talking about all the things he loves, his favourite style of music and his favourite colour and the two of you talk about what you would do if you could do anything.
On your way back Taehyung is telling you about a new electrotherapy that has been said to remove alternate persona’s from one's mind. “It is worth a shot don’t you think?”
“It sounds a little scary, what if something goes wrong, what if you die?” you asked
“I would rather die than spend my whole life in this ward trapped in my own body because someone else is taking control of me, making me do things I don’t want to” He exclaimed, laughing almost bitterly.
“Sorry Taehyung, I didn’t know” You whispered “It’s not something I can truly comprehend.”
“That’s right because you are perfect and everything is normal,” He hissed getting aggravated, he was being restrained when he panicked and started apologizing. “Wait I am sorry, I am sorry, please let me go.”
He was taken to his room and your heart felt like it was breaking, he was afraid of himself and he wanted to get better. He was alone, longing for someone to love him for who he was. Could you be that for him perhaps?
After dinner you went to the room to see him, he was hunched over his shoulders shaking as he sniffled, “I’m sorry,” his voice was small. You stepped over and touched his shoulder, his hand came up and squeezed yours. “You should go, I am not the person you should be with”
“I want to stay, I want to be with you. If there was a way, I would love to get married, have a family and live happily ever after.”
His grip tightened and the sniffling turned to laughter, you were pulled on top of him, his grip was harsh, “You want to get married, my bad kitty, you want me to put some babies inside you?”
You were grabbed and one of the male nurses sedated him, you were crying and you left the room, “I just tried to comfort Taehyung, I am fine I was just startled and scared. I will go for a shower and I will head home for the night.”
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You came back to work the next day but you didn’t step foot into Taehyung’s room. You spoke over meals with everyone and he was his usual nice and gentle self. He told everyone that he was getting electroshock therapy. He was saying if it all went successful he would be allowed out of the asylum and allowed to live like a normal human again. 
It took three whole weeks before you had willingly stepped into Taehyung's room, it was his first interview about him and his illness they were recording data to compare with afterwards. You walked him to his interview and walked him back, opening his door and stepping inside.
The door shut behind you and you knew he was behind you. The number one rule is don't let the patient block your exit. And here you were stuck in the room blocked in by Taehyung. 
“Hey Taehyung, you want to play another game of cards” you said, watching him look at the door shoulders hunched over. He slowly turned, looking up with a dangerous glint in his eyes. 
“I’m not Taehyung.” he said,his face void of any expression. 
“Who are you, then?”
“You know who I am!” He shouted before reigning himself back in, “I am V, I am the one that scares you bad kitty, that day when they sedated me, I almost had you” 
“You liked what I said though didn’t you, you pressed your thighs together and the sweet scent of arousal filled the room. You want to get fucked and you want it hard” he said, gripping you by the hair and pushing you so your chest is flat against the bed. 
You wanted it, god you wanted it and he knew it, but you would get fired. As if reading your thoughts V softly whispered into your ear, “you can blame me if they come in sweetheart, no one has to know you were willing, just tell me you want it”
“I can’t” you whined into the bed cursing that you couldn’t. 
“You let Taehyung fuck you but not me?” He pressed himself against you letting you feel how hard you made him.
“Because Taehyung was sweet,” and upset. You were trying to comfort him and had forgotten you were at work, but you didn’t say the last bit out loud.
“Listen to me. Taehyung doesn’t control me but I can control him, that was all me, you know it because I called you by my nickname. Didn’t he call you bad kitty that day?”
You looked at him in shock as he continued, all the while lifting your dress and pulling down your soaked underwear, “That’s right it was me all along so what’s the harm if we try it again?”
“Fuck me, please” you moaned throwing caution to the wind, if you lost your job then so be it. 
He pushed himself into you in a single, hard thrust and you felt your walls stretch around him. He felt bigger then Taehyung but that had to be impossible.
Where one was timid and soft, he was rough and ferocious, his hips pistoned in and out as he fucked you hard. He was vocal and unrefined, he didn’t have any other thought except the primal urge to fuck you. The lewd sounds bounced off of the walls as he pounded into you. He thrusted deep, you could feel him deep inside in your inner walls.
You were drooling, biting the blankets on his bed clutching them between your fists trying to muffle the sounds you were making. 
Taehyung had thrust hard one last time before you felt heat spreading inside you and your eyes shot open, “Fuck, Tae what about a condom?”
“You are mine.” he growled, punctuating each of his words with a thrust as he went, leaving you a writhing mess. 
You quickly got dressed and stormed into the staff bathroom and took a shower.
You changed your clothes and hurried home. You spent the night huddled in your blankets crying yourself to sleep. 
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You left for a while after that incident, you spent christmas and new years with your family and when you came back you went back to working right away. The shift was awkward as Taehyung kept staring at you, you didn’t know what it meant but you tried to pay it no mind. The end of your first week back was the day Taehyung would undergo Electroshock therapy.
When it came around you walked him to the theatre and stayed in the hall, you didn’t want to witness it but you wanted to be there by him as soon as it was over. What you didn’t expect was the screaming. What felt like after an eternity but was only half an hour later they stepped out wheeling Taehyung on a gurney, he didn’t look so good. 
It took awhile but Taehyung was starting to grow stronger and he would chat and seemed to be getting healthier and there was no sign of V. You were extremely happy and a month later he was reviewed and approved for discharge from the asylum. He was finally moving in with you and you two were going to live together and start a family.
He waved to the boys but they hadn’t stopped crying all morning, they didn’t say a word, only sobbing more when Taehyung hugged them before leaving. “I wish I could take you all with me,” He said, wiping his eyes.
Taehyung moved in and you two started decorating the apartment to make it more homey. You were cooking dinner for him one night, everything was going well so far, it had been two months since his discharge and the two of you were happy.
“We could try for a baby, if you wanted?” Taehyung shuffled his feet looking at the ground. You giggled, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bedroom, he undressed you and laid you on the bed before undressing and settling in between your legs. You hadn’t been intimate since Taehyung had been discharged from the asylum and it was just as amazing as you remembered, slow and sensual just like your first time with Taehyung. 
Taehyung lifted your hands above your head, kissing and licking your breasts. Panting against you when his hands tightened his grip around your wrists. His hips drove deeper inside you, he was soon going faster and harder pounding into you with all his force and you whined in pleasure. “Yes please.”
“Do you like that bad kitty?”
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sombreboy · 5 years ago
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Daffodil dreams✾yandere!kth
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| RP with 🍁anon | Header by:🍁anon ♡ | CLICK ME FOR PART TWO ✾ 18+ ✾ xtremity; 7 ✾ pairing: Murder suspect!Yandere!Taehyung x Therapist!F ✾ word count: 16.8k ✾ warnings: mental illness, mentions of murder, hand fetish, oral, forceful facefucking, dubcon themes, sadistic/manipulative/possessive!Tae, masochistic!therapist, mentions of medication for mental illness, cursing, degrading dirtytalk, rough smut, unprotected sex.
‘’Taehyung, you didn't lose control. You chose to control me instead..." And he damn well took sick pleasure from the crazed look in his eyes.
“I’m not bad.” He convinced himself of this. He wasn’t a bad person. He wasn’t the person in the case files. That was somebody else inside of him.
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Flashing her access card to open the door of the secured interrogation room, the doctor nods at the guard outside before stepping in. If things were to turn sour at any point, he'd step in as intervention.
Once the door closes, she takes a moment to assess her latest patient— accused of double murder, yet to be proven guilty even if circumstantial evidences were against him, Kim Taehyung. Her report on his mental state will be the determinant in his case at this rate. Moving closer towards him, she greets him by introducing herself. "Hello, Taehyung!"
Taehyung sat with his hands clasped together, eyes in his lap as someone walks in. As soon as he hears their greeting though, he slowly gazes up at her, a cautious look on his face. ‘‘Hello.’‘
Placing her tiny folder of contents and her notepad on the table, she takes the chair across from him with a formal smile. "I'll be your therapist till the case gets resolved in the court which can be anywhere between a few days to many months! We're together in this until then." She tells him in an honest voice. It would be better to ease him into the sessions and gain his trust before she could delve deeper into his mind. Deciding to keep it simple, "How are you feeling today? Did you sleep well?"
Taehyung fiddled with his fingers, avoiding eye contact, but he’s responsive enough, “I’m good.. I slept okay.” He nodded, as if confirming his own words.
"I'm glad you're feeling good. We'll see what we can do about the sleep issues you have..." She says, observing how he avoided her eyes and takes her note to record it in. But before she does, "You don't mind if I take notes, do you?" She asks to confirm. Some of her patients hated it when she paid more attention to her notebook than them. She'd switch to a taping device in that case. "Have you seen any other therapists before me, Taehyung— it's okay if I called you by your name, right?"
It took Taehyung a long moment before he responded, eyes moving back up to look at her, this time more observing, “You’re my first...” he keeps his eyes on her, an unreadable expression on his face as he nods, confirming the usage of his name.
She flashes him a genuine smile when she finds his eyes upon her. That was rather a very quick improvement in her books. Nodding her head at him, she notes it all down, from his words to his gestures— everything. So no one even suspected he might have been mentally disturbed until the incident itself. Interesting. "In that case, I'm going to make sure I'm helping you the best way I can!" She promises him with a look before going for her next question. "Tell me more about yourself, Taehyung... It can be anything?" She'd get to know him from his own point of view before making her judgement.
Taehyung looked around the room, as if in thought, leaning back in his chair as his eyes finally land on the painting hanging behind her. He stares at it for a long moment, zoning out as he’s looking at it.
She patiently waits for him to speak up, silently taking in his features. He looked rather young, just about her age or even younger. Lucious curls, sharp jaws, almond eyes framed by full lashes— he was nothing short of gorgeous. And then there was this innocence in his eyes that makes her pause. Could he have really murdered two people in cold blood? Noticing his attention elsewhere, she turns behind her to see the painting on the wall. "So... You like art? Do you paint often?" If he wouldn't talk, then she just had to ask more questions to keep him speaking.
Taehyung rocked back and forth, a very vague movement, barely noticeable unless anyone paid attention. He nodded, his eyes flickering to her before focusing on the painting once more, a short but clear response rolling off his lips, “Sometimes..”
Her eyes keenly track each of his movements, including how he seemed to not stay as still as he had when their session began. She hums at his words. Maybe she could bring some art supplies to one of their future sessions? But for now, "I'm a fan of surrealism. It feels like there's something about the unexpectedness it brings to everyday subjects... Dali is one of my favourite artists!" She comments, her eyes lighting up brightly as she speaks about something she likes. "Do you prefer someone's art works in particular?"
Taehyung kept rocking back and forth, he was slowly starting to become a little bit more responsive, taking a few seconds less to answer this time, “Van Gogh.” His lips twitched ever so slightly at the thought of his art, his gaze focusing back down at his lap.
"Van Gogh?" There's a flare of recognition in her gaze, that is more than just knowing the famous artist's name. She was well versed in his life history too— especially his mental illness that made him take his own life. Taehyung taking less time than before to respond with his name was mildly alarming. But she keeps her cool, and her smile intact. "I have a copy of his Almond Blossom in my home." She mentions as she makes more notes, "What is it about Gogh that impresses you, Taehyung?"
Taehyungs eyebrows raise vaguely when she mentions that she owns such a piece of art. His eyes now travells down to focus on the notepad in her lap. But this time he didn’t respond.
She gives him a whole minute before looking up at him, only to find his gaze focused on her lap. "Would you like to write... Or maybe sketch instead?" She tears off the page she had been writing in and passes the notepad to him with another pen. "Is there a particular painting of Van Gogh that you like so much?" She tries again hoping he'd feel motivated enough to answer her or even write it down.
He moved slowly when he grabbed the pen and notepad, putting it in his lap as he quietly scribbled something down. When he finished, he put it back on the table along with the pen, pushing it over the table towards her so she could take a look at what he had written down. “Through his pain, came beauty. His art.” Along with a smaller note, “irises," which was a painting by the artist. It was a painting of Irises that suggests cautious optimism. The bouquet of blue irises, shadowed in violet in an ocher vase against a yellow background, reveals his continuing pursuit of what he called 'the color question'  and nature always offered the true revelation.
When he leaves the pad back on the table, she peeks over to see what he had written. "Irises?" She whispers under her breath. There were two paintings of Gogh's with the said flowers. One, speaking of a life without tragedies and the other, a still life painting of the flowers in a vase he used for studying colours, both of them he did in the asylum. Tracing his words about the artist himself with her eyes she asks in a softer tone, "Did you know there's two different paintings of irises?"
Taehyung nods, however not clarifying his answer. His mind seemed to drift away after the mention of the paintings, but his body seemed slightly more relaxed as he was no longer rocking himself back and forth.
She leans back on her chair and keeps talking when he doesn't respond more than a nod. "I prefer the first one, the painting with the irises he did in the garden. There is this sense of hope about it..." As if he had hoped to get better in the hospital. Taking one more look at his note, she presses an elbow to the table and props her chin upon her palm as she tries to get his attention back on her. "Does his pain inspire you, Taehyung?"
His lips part as if he’s about to speak, but he closes his mouth again, one hand moving up to brush his curls away from his eyes, that were now back on the doctor. He made eye contact, and gave her a vague nod, a quiet whisper rolling off his lips as he quoted the artist, “Art is to console those who are broken.”
She blinks, the motion of his hand breaking her transfixed gaze upon him. But soon he reels her back with his eyes, that now rested upon hers with a sense of ease. She leans a little further across the table to catch his whisper, which gives her a pause. As much as she wanted to go on track and ask more about the artist he seemed to idolise, she chooses a personal question instead. "Do you consider yourself broken then?" It comes out equally quiet, her eyes focused unblinkingly upon him.
Taehyung shrugged, then broke into a soft smile before countering her question with one of his own, “Aren’t we all broken in one way or another?”
Her eyes soften at the first sign of his smile, her own lips quirking up to mirror it. Moving back with a mellowed laughter at his question, "True, we all are! You got me there." She admits, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "So, what is your story then? Why do you think you're broken?" With her head tilted to the side, she might resemble a curious cat. There's an urge to get to know him more now that goes beyond the need for this case. But she brushes it off to analyse it later when she wasn't on the clock.
Taehyung observes her for a moment, he’s starting to feel a little more comfortable with his therapist. Her smile made him feel something, but he couldn’t quite place it as of yet. For the first time in a long time, he’s enjoyed somebody’s company. He didn’t want the session to end. “My story... isn’t very unique. I had a happy life... simple.” He presses his lips together as he nodded, confirming his own words before looking at her again, hands clasped together in his lap, “What about you?”
"Had?" She notes the past tense of his words before blinking back in surprise when he asks her about her story. "I'm... still writing my story. Everyday, as it goes. My story is about finding a purpose for your life to be happy again!" She reiterates gently, her notes laying long forgotten on her lap with her attention completely on him now and their conversation. "Everyone's story is different from each other, Taehyung. But why would you think your happy life ended? What about your life now?"
Taehyung stares at her as he takes in her words. Her purpose was for him to find happiness? That sounded crazy... it sounded almost... like she cared about him. He leaned forward, as if he's trying to get a closer look at her. "Well, I am held in custody... and will be for a while it seems. Wouldn't you feel unhappy in my situation?" Once again, he counters her questions with his own, as if it was a little game. But it was obvious that he was starting to enjoy this, becoming more responsive to her, whether it gives her clear answers or not.
"Which is 'where' I come in." She air quotes in response to his question. "Anyone would he unhappy in this situation. You'll be held here until they can find a solution to this case. Don't you want to be happy again, Taehyung?" Her tone is beseeching as she hides her surprise at how easy it was to get him to talk when his previous interrogators claimed otherwise. "I can help you with that! But you'll have to help me in return. I want you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?"
Taehyung leaned back into his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, eyes still fixed on the woman as if he's observing her. He doesnt answer, but he nods.
Even without his verbal confirmation, she still considers it a minor victory when he agrees to be truthful. Giving him another one of her genuine smiles as if in reward, "We can take this one step at a time. And if you're uncomfortable with anything I say or ask, feel free to stop me immediately, okay?" She bends her head slightly, looking up at him through her lashes to see if he understood her before proceeding. "You're aware that you're kept in custody. But do you know why you're here?"
Taehyung's gaze travels to look down once again, a soft sigh escaping his lips. However another nod was the only response she got. He wasn't feeling very verbally responsive for this topic, knowing all words can and would be used against him, whether he was guilty or not.
When he breaks their eye contact, she withdraws back with a deep exhale. She knew she was pushing him beyond his comfort zone. But from every information she gathered from him so far, her gut feeling told her he was innocent. Even the devil was an angel before he fell though. "Taehyung," She calls his name out softly. "We're almost at the end of our session today. I have one last question for you before I leave. Do you think you deserve to be kept here for whatever the reason you're in here for?"
His gaze slowly moved to look at her hands, keeping his arms wrapped over his chest as if he's hugging himself. It takes a long minute before he shrugs. He knows he's been vague, but he wasn't sure. And he felt a little disappointed that the session was over already, he was beginning to enjoy her company. She was the first person since he was taken in to actually talk to him as a person, and not simply pinpoint him as a murderer.
Clicking her tongue quietly at his shrug, she slumps back into her chair when he gives her no clear answer once again. There was a prompt knock on the metal door, signaling the end of their session.
"You did so good, Taehyung." She tells him with a soft smile as she stands up to gather her things, including the notepad. "I'll be back tomorrow. And I'll see if I can request for an additional hour. If we work well together like today, I'll soon be able to help you find your happiness again, hm?"
He feels his chest flutter at the doctor's praise, another foreign feeling to him. As she stand up, his eyes follow her with the utmost observation of her every movement and word. His lips curl up in a small smile as he nods, "Okay." He didn't want the session to end, but he was already looking forward to tomorrow. Now, as soon as he was no longer alone with her, his expressions fade back into being a blank canvas— no expression at all.
Now more than ever, she believes he was being framed for the murders. And even if he was guilty, she'd help him get his Not Criminally Responsible verdict if it ever came to that, she decides. He definitely had underlying mental health issues for certain, she just needed more medical proof. Sending an email out to his defence attorney and the institution, she rests easy that night when they approve her request for extended sessions.
Taehyung had barely slept that night, staring at the ceiling of his isolated room as he processes everything she said. She'd asked him questions about art, and the way her knowledge surprised him made him curious about her. The way she told him that her purpose was to find his happiness, made him happy... no one's ever said that to him before, and he started to feel a small infatuation with his therapist.
He reminded himself to be cautious, however, it had only been one session after all. But his heart fluttered at the thought of seeing her again. Would her hair look different? Would she wear something pretty? All these things whirled through his mind until he managed to get a fractured amount of sleep before the guards woke him up for his next session. He slowly sauntered over, hair a curly mess, bags under his eyes.
The next day, she's back in the room before him for their new session. She had forgone her coat, favouring a simple blouse and skirt as it was summer. The door opens and she stands up with a bright smile. "Hello, Taehyung!" One look at his cuffed arms and she sends a pointed glare at the guard who takes it off with a roll of his eyes. Once the guard leaves, she takes a step towards Taehyung, almost as if to push his hair back, but drops her hands halfway and goes back to the table. "Did you sleep well last night?" She asks him, her smile simmered down as he takes his seat.
Taehyung rubs his wrists when the cuffs are removed, nodding uncomittedly at her question as he slowly strolls over to his seat, ‘’Somewhat,’’ He didn’t lie, but also didn’t want to tell her he barely slept, but the doctor's eyes were sharp, and the dark circles under his eyes were prominent even if they were half hidden underneath his bangs. He ran his hands through his hair as if to calm down the bedhead he was rocking, lifting up his grey hoodie over his curls.
Nodding at his reply, "Well, I have news for you. Our sessions are going to be two hours long from now. So hopefully we can solve this case quicker!" She says with a smile, looking up from her notes only for her lips to turn down in a frown at his red eyes and visible dark circles beneath them despite his attempt to hide it all behind his bangs. "Is there a particular reason you didn't sleep well last night?" She asks him in a crisp tone, giving no room for anymore vague answers. "If something's bothering you, you can tell me, you know?"
Taehyung felt a rush of joy, reminding him of butterflies fluttering in his stomach at the mention of longer sessions. Does that mean she wants to spend more time with him? That’s how he interpreted it, a small smile pulling on his lips. It made him more responsive, more open to answer her questions. However, it didn’t mean he couldn’t ask some back, ‘’I had a lot on my mind after we spoke,’’ He confesses, tilting his head to the side as his eyes landed on her skirt, slowly roaming up your outfit. She looked so pretty, ‘’I like your clothes.’’ He squinted, observing the small floral patterns adorning her blouse. He was curious about the brand, he did enjoy fashion.
"Oh?" She glances down at herself, giving him another smile at his compliment. "Thank you! It's getting warmer out there. Had to give up my winter clothing." Subtly noting the spark of interest in his eyes at her clothing style, she decides to dig into it later. They had something important to discuss before that. "You said you had lot in your mind last night. May I ask what?" She pulls up a fresh page on her notepad, beginning to write down everything she noticed about him today.
He smiled, arms going back to his default position across his chest, “You.” His eyes moved back to her face, observing her reaction. This could’ve been a bad idea, maybe he should’ve stayed quiet, closed down. But he had to say it. She was special, not just his therapist.
Her writing comes to a sharp halt, and she glances up at him to find him watching her already. Dropping her pen between the pages, she closes the notepad and leaves it on the table before focusing all her attention on him with an unsure smile curling on her lips. "Me? Do you mean you were thinking about the things we spoke about yesterday, Taehyung?" Getting involved with a patient at any emotional level was frowned upon. She hopes he means the latter, for both of their sakes.
Taehyung hesitates, considering whether he should answer with honesty. Will the truth scare her away? Will she stop seeing him? He didn’t want to take the chance, not until he was sure. He internally scolded himself for even telling her, but if he plays his cards right, he could deflect this quickly, continuing with the normal questions. He squints his eyes in a smile, nodding once more as he straightens his posture, ‘’Of course, that’s what I meant.’’
There's a faint sagging of her shoulders in relief despite the niggling feeling of uneasiness pricking at the back of her head. "That's great! But please don't let out conversations disturb your sleep patterns. I like seeing you in better health." She smiles,  purposefully adding the last part to see if it'd change his behaviour that night. Sitting a little more relaxed in her chair, "What is it about yesterday that left you sleepless, Taehyung?" Technically, she should begin from where they left off but this could work too.
Taehyung considers her words carefully, and how she kept saying things that seemed so earnest. She would like to see him in better health. Not because a script told her so, but because she cared. He started to believe it, and he couldn’t control the way his feelings slowly grew for her. He crossed one leg over the other, leaning back as he put his hands in his pockets into a more relaxed position, eyes staring at the table as he chewed on his lower lip in a moment of thought, ‘’I thought a lot about... Art.. It was a refreshing conversation compared to all the surface level interrogations they’ve put me through so far. I felt like I was talking to an actual person, and it was... Nice.’’ This was the longest sentence he’s ever given her, even if it didn’t conclude much other than his appreciation for her knowledge.
"I'm glad our talk was thought provoking for you. And I want you to feel normal. I know interrogations here can get bitter. But I'm here to help you find and face the truth, no matter what it is!" Placing both her hands on the table, she presses on it to lean forward and let him see the honesty of her words reflected in her eyes. "We can talk about art again, if you want? Or anything else of your interest? I'm sure we can spare some time before beginning from where we left off yesterday."
Taehyung’s eyes lit up, he finally had an opportunity to know more about her, rather than talk about himself. That’s all he’s done, and he would, for her. But first, he wanted something back, something new to learn. He fiddled with his fingers before clasping them together, ‘’What’s your favourite type of flower?’’ It was an odd question to some, but to him, it mattered. He always loved flowers, and the meanings behind them.
She doesn't miss out on any reactions of his, including how his entire face lights up when she says they could talk about anything other than the case. Little sacrifices, she tells herself with a smile as she leans back in her chair only to pause at his question. "My favourite flower?" She asks again with surprise in her tone to confirm if she heard it right. As he continues to gaze at her with that little excited look of his, she gives in. "Lily of the valley. I love those little bells!"
‘‘Return to happiness.’‘ He states, eyes still fixed on her. Everything really pointed back towards the one thing you keep telling him, to find happiness. To be happy. That she wanted him to be happy. This couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? If it was, it surely was fate. ‘‘The flower is beautiful, attractive... But poisonous.’‘ He continued, as if his statement could have an underlying meaning to it. He stretches his back a little, before returning to a comfortable position, his hands delicately placed in his lap, ‘‘I like daffodils.’‘
"When something is too beautiful to behold, it always comes with a way of protecting itself, doesn't it? Like how roses have thorns, the lilies are poisonous. I only think it's fair." She shrugs, not really worried about how he'd interpret that. By now, she's made up her mind to enjoy the unexpectedness of their conversations until it lasts. "Daffodils? What do they mean?" She might have a little knowledge about art, but not so much about flowers.
Taehyung hums, nodding as he speaks, ‘’Rebirth... New beginnings...’’ He tilts his head to the side, keeping his eyes in his lap as if he’s in thought, ‘’They are the first flower to bloom when the cold, dark winter has passed, as a sign of spring.’’ He pauses to lick his lips, looking up at her with a small smile, ‘’And they smell nice.’’
She nods her head slowly, taking in the meaning of his favourite flowers a little deeper than she should. "New beginnings..." Letting the word roll around her tongue for a moment, she glances up to meet his eyes with an understanding smile. "Is that what you crave right now? A new beginning once this darkness," her gaze flickers to his case file on the table before meeting his again, "—passes, Taehyung? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I tend to overthink sometimes."
He felt butterflies burst in his gut when she said his first name so casually, as if they were already close. He enjoyed it, feeling a warmth simmer over him. Taehyung shrugs, ‘’I guess you could say that.’’
"Hm..." She hums, moving forward once again to lean over the table. These chairs weren't exactly comfy, she was sure to get a back pain if she were to sit in it much longer. "And how do you envision this new beginning? Is it going to be similar to the life you lived before? Or maybe you want to move away to a new place and start afresh? I'd do that if I were you, to be honest..." Letting her eyes trace his features carefully, "How different do you want your new life to be from your old?"
Her words seemed to have hit a small trigger, his eyes squinting in thought, the corner of his mouth twitching once, twice. He stared to his left, at nothing, just staring, as if he’s deep within himself for the moment, and his leg starts to bounce restlessly, ‘’It’s already different... But, I don’t know..’’
It was the first time she catches him struggling to express his thoughts that day, immediately knowing his answers would be as vague as their previous session. No, that wouldn't do. "Different because of any thing in particular?" Maybe his guilt? He was yet to answer her last question from yesterday. Seeing how his attention seemed to be elsewhere, she opens her palm on the table. "You can hold my hand if you need something to ground yourself, Taehyung!" She offers without thinking twice.
His eyebrows are drawn together in confusion at her words, until he looks down at her open palm on the table. He didn’t hear everything she said, he only caught when she called his name, and then suddenly, her hand was offered to him. What is this? She wanted him to hold her hand? Was this a test?... Did she like him? Taehyung’s fingers twitched, he slowly raised his hand as if considering to actually hold hers, but he hesitates, looking up at her, ‘‘I can...?’‘
She looks at him with her head slightly bent, urging him on silently with her eyes. "Yes, of course! I want you to hold my hand so you can ground yourself..." She states calmly, curling her fingers in a come hither motion as she smiles at him. It was clear he was lost in his head and if this would help, she was willing to do it for him. "We'll continue our conversation only when you're certain you're back here with me, okay?" Her voice is soft, as if soothing him back into reality.
He shuffles closer to sit on the edge, his large hand slowly wrapping around hers. She felt so delicate in his hand, and his heart skipped a beat. He exhaled through his nose, eyes fixed on the way his long fingers gently closed around her hand.
Carefully, she watches him place his hand upon hers before wrapping it around her dainty one, her gaze flashing up to his face to note his reaction. He seemed... content, for the lack of accurate words to explain the emotion in his eyes. She sits there in silence with his hand in hers, for how long, neither of them care. Smiling again, she softly squeezes the reassuring weight of his hand upon hers. "Feeling better, Taehyung?" She asks him once his eyes move back to rest upon her.
His eyes softened when he felt her squeeze his palm, and he wished this moment could last forever, not ready to ever let go of her. ‘’Can I look at your hand? Closer, I mean...’’
She flexes her fingers in his, knowing what she was doing wasn't exactly ethical in her practice. But he seemed like he needed someone to hold him, and all she could offer was her hand for now. Blinking back at the unexpectedness of his question, she hesitates a brief moment before nodding. "Sure you can... as long as you promise not to bite!" She jests in good nature, even if a part of her wonders why he was asking to look closer.
Taehyung smiles playfully, an eyebrow crooked up at her words. ‘’Deal,’’ he leans forward a little further, both of his hands holding hers. He treats her hands like they are fragile, delicately examining her flat palm facing him before the pads of his fingers trace the lines in her hand, his eyes focused on how soft her skin feels in his hand. To some, it might look like he’s doing some kind of palm reading, but in reality he just... really likes hands. And hers, they were an exquisite sight, and they felt even better.
She laughs faintly at his playfulness, brushing off the little voice in her head questioning her sanity in that very situation. He was only being curious, she told herself— almost like a child. Indulging him would cause no harm! Unless he really was guilty… Sighing at her own internal monologue, she wriggles her fingers again as she smiles up at him. "What are you looking for in my hand, Taehyung? Did you lose something there?"
He doesn’t look up at her, eyes still observing as he grabs her fingers between his index finger and thumb, bending it delicately back and forth, as if he’s fascinated with the way her flesh moves and bends beneath the skin. But to others, it looks like he’s just playing around. He nods before grabbing her hand inbetween both of his large palms, ‘’I just liked how fragile- I mean... I like the way your hand feels. It’s soft.’’
Her eyes still locked on all of his movements, she thinks he might not have heard her from the way he looks lost in examining the workings of her fingers. When he begins speaking again, the word fragile stands out, reminding her of his case file. A cold shiver passes down her spine, but she manages to school her expression before it shows. "It feels so soft because I don't do any of my household chores." Turning one of his hand over, she runs her fingers over it. "See, even yours is soft!"
Her touch ignites a fire beneath his skin, that travels further like a domino effect throughout his entire body. He recognized this feeling, and he wondered whether he should stop this. Stop, and not let this feeling grow. But then, the way her fingers smooth over his skin was almost erotic to him, and he didn’t want her to stop. His mouth parted slightly, a quiet exhale pushing through his lips at the feeling, nodding, ‘’Again.’’
She looks up at him with a stricken expression when he asks to be touched again. But the intensity behind his eyes reels her in without her even being aware of it and she begins tracing his palm longer this time, her touch nothing more than feather soft. "Like this?" Even as she asks, she runs the tip of her nails over each of the lines that crisscross along his palms with little pressure. At the feel of him shuddering, she slowly glances up at him with her lower lip caught between her teeth. "More, Taehyung?"
Taehyung closes his eyes, his chest heaving up and down slowly, but heavily. He licks his lips, focusing so hard on the feeling of your nails across his skin, this fire that he knew too well already taking over his body, as his next words just slip out like a sultry growl, ‘’I want more, you drive me mad...’’
Her breathing is equally hard, the sight of him coming undone at her mere touch all too sensual for her to handle. The entire purpose of her presence there slips from her mind somewhere between them getting lost in each other's hands. She gulps at the sound of raw need behind his growl and slowly loops her fingers through his while her other hand is still mindlessly drawing patterns over the sensitive skin of his palm. "How do you want me, Taehyung?" She dares to ask at last in a softer tone.
His eyes open, an intense gaze meeting hers as he drags his lower lip between his teeth, “I want you... on your knees, right here...” His eyes look down between his now spread apart legs, the obvious bulge leaving little to the imagination through the soft fabric of his sweatpants, “I want your soft hands on me.”
Trapped within his gaze and nowhere to run in the room that was locked from outside, she slowly stands up on trembling feet, throwing a cautious look over her shoulders at the door. This was wrong. So wrong. She keeps thinking despite sinking to her knees between his spread legs. Moving one of her hands to the prominent bulge in his pants, she squeezes it softly while looking up at him through her thick lashes. "Like this?" She squeezes harder again and then rubs over it, repeating her motions.
He gazes down at her with heavy eyes, a small smirk playing on his face as he crooks an eyebrow, licking his teeth, “Yes, just like that,” he nods, keeping his hands on his thighs, curling up his fists as he grasps the fabric of his pants, trying to keep his fingers to himself. He knows once he starts touching her , it could go any direction. It was too early. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge in the pleasures of having her willingly touch him, “More...” he repeats the same word once more, his possessive affection for her blooming faster than ever.
The situation had escalated way too quickly for her to even grasp it, but she pushes it to the back of her mind. For now, his heavy gaze upon her as she palmed him through his pants was enough to make her shirt stick to her skin from the raising heat around them. She pops a button open on her blouse before sneaking her hand into his pants at his needy demand, feeling his velvety length between her fingers. Her gaze moves up to hold his as she runs a nail from his base to the tip, to catch his reaction.
His burning gaze followed the movements of her unbuttoning her blouse just enough for him to let out a long exhale through his nose. He then focused his attention back down, feeling her nail scrape delicately across the skin of his length, his thighs almost vibrate underneath her, his cock twitches in anticipation, “Take it out...” It sounded more like a demand rather than begging, but it was laced with need.
Looking into his eyes that seemed like it wanted to devour her whole, she drags his throbbing length out of his pants at his needy whine. Even from the feel of him, she knows she'll be able to feel his curved tip all the way into her womb if she were ever to sink down on his pretty length. Shuddering at that thought, she runs her nail over his slit, gathering his precum as she goes before smearing it down his cock, slowly beginning to pump him between her soft hands. "Want more, Taehyung?"
Taehyung struggles to keep his hands to himself, but he’s mustering all his strength, clawing at his thighs as he moans quietly beneath her touch, ‘’Please,’’ His eyes are beginning to have a slightly crazed look to them as he watches how pretty and small her hands look compared to the size of his generous length, ‘’Put it in your mouth, please..’’
As much as she wants to tease and edge him on until he was writhing for her with nothing but her name on his lips, she knew they didn't have enough time. His pleas will have to do for today. Giving his throbbing length a few more drawn out pumps, she kisses the slit, moaning softly at his taste as she lets the tip of her tongue graze it. Opening her mouth wider, she locks her gaze with his while lowering her mouth to swallow him in painfully slow, swirling her tongue as she went along.
Taehyung’s jaw fell open, breathing out heavy, low vibrating groans as he watches his cock disappear between her lips, ‘’So pretty... Prettier than anybody-y ah..’’ His sentence broke into a whimper. He’s had his cock sucked before, but with her, it felt new and foreign, his hyper responsive senses causing his hips to twitch. He wanted to fuck her mouth so badly, but the torture of holding himself back from grasping her hair was another turn on in itself. If you are patient, and wait for something good, the wait will always be worth it.
A part of her feels smug as he is reduced to broken whimpers from her mere touch, such a breathtaking mess to watch despite his immense self control. She wanted to see him lose it though, and touch her the same way she was worshipping him. Stopping when she feels his cock hit the back of her throat, she gives herself a minute to breathe through her nose. Pulling him out halfway, she pushes the skin around his head down until she could suck on it sharply and repeats it till she feels him twitch.
Taehyung was struggling to keep himself collected, his hips starting to buck into her mouth, hands moving an inch closer to her body, but he harshly grips his pants too hard he almost rips through the fabric, ‘’I want to touch you so badly....’’ He breathes out darkly, ‘’But if I do, I can’t control--’’ He breaks into another moan and throws his head back, continuing to move his hips.
When he begins to buck into her mouth, she sucks him in until her cheeks hollow out making obscene noise. At his stuttering words, she unwillingly pulls him out of her mouth. "What if..." She pants deeply, trying to form the right words as her hands pump him steadily. "I want to see you lose it Tae— your carefully constructed control. Don't hold back!" Diving back instantly, she swallows him once again, her other hand moving to toy with his balls as she waits to see if he'd follow her words.
Taehyung screws his eyes shut for a moment, gritting his teeth to muffle the curses that slip through his lips. She wanted it, she wanted it... Could he really give in to his true self? Last time he did, it put him in here. With her as his therapist. Maybe it was fate, he was always supposed to find her, who actually wanted him to show himself for who he was. She cared. He felt like he could trust her, and he really didn’t want to hurt her... Not that much.
‘‘You’re so— shit..’‘ His eyes fly open, his pupils dilated with lust until they were almost blackened, his stare that of a possessive man as he gives in to his desires. His hands travelling to caress her hair, the hair he’s been admiring, and it felt just the way he imagined it, so silky and soft between his fingers. ‘‘You’re everything.’‘ He inhales deeply, his grasp in her hair tightening, pulling at her scalp until it almost burns as he forces her to take his cock deeper.
At his muffled mewls, she rubs her thighs together feeling her own arousal swell. But she ignores it in favour of watching his lust blown eyes focus solely upon her, as if she was the only thing he needed to exist and ruin in the same breath. His reverent touches does nothing to fool her, she knows a madman's eyes when she sees one. Bracing herself on his thighs, she sucks in deeply before he painfully tugs at her hair, thrusting himself back in all the way until her eyes tear up from the stretch.
‘‘Choke on it,’‘ He growls quietly. He didn’t want to be too loud, knowing there were guards outside of the room. His fingers curled around her hair as he starts to control her movements, using her mouth like a toy to fuck his cock into as he wishes. He takes notice of the tears welling up in her eyes, a tint of red in the whites of them from the lack of oxygen, and it sends him one step closer into his madness. He fucking loves the submissive look on her face.
An instant flush travels down her body from his growl, making her core clench. But that wasn't where her trained mind was. When she had asked him to lose it, he had merely found an object, her instead, to control, which begins a series of alarm bells in her head. As she loses her ability to breathe, she suddenly knows why those victims of his ended up dead. In her desperation, she sinks her nails into his thighs, hoping he'd let her go before she faints or worse, add on to his list.
Her nails digging into his thighs only adds to his pleasure, his grip in her hair like iron as he forces her back down on his cock, tears and spit everywhere. His gaze was like ice, eyebrows tightly drawn together as he feels his orgasm creep up on him quickly. ‘’Just— a little more. A little more...Your nose, breathe through your nose.’’ He reminds her while a voice in the back of his mind tells him to stop. It was too much, she was going to pass out if he didn’t stop, or worse, kill her, but it felt too good.
At the feel of his cock twitching inside her mouth, she knows he's deriving pleasure from both his and her pain, making her tears flow freely seeing no escape. A hand claws it's way up, digging itself into his hand as she struggles to breathe through her nose like he instructs. Little more... she fights to hold on to her slipping conscious, sensing his muscles go taut beneath her touch, she instantly moves her other hand to seize his balls. The sooner he got his release, the better for her.
A low, guttural moan vibrated in Taehyung’s chest as the familiar heat pooling in his lower abdomen reaches him, his hips stilling beneath her as he cums, ‘’F-fuck, ye-ees...’’ He growls, his cock pulsating in her mouth as the sticky warmth shoots down her throat. His grip in her hair almost instantly loosens, his body relaxing against the couch as he slouches, chest heaving up and down heavily.
If she could sigh in relief, she would. As soon as she feels his cum shooting down her throat, she greedily swallows it all along with a few desperate inhales of air through her nose. The moment his grip goes lax, she pushes herself off his thighs and falls back on the floor, gasping loudly as her cheeks slowly regain their colour. Her throat feels raw and her chest hurts badly every time she breathes in, but she forces her way up from the floor carefully turned away from his panting form.
As if a switch flipped, Taehyung came back to reality. He pulled his pants back up as he got off his seat, taking one step closer to her form on the ground. “Hey,” he whispers, eyebrows drawn together in concern. Guilt. He didn’t want to lose control, but she asked him to... begged him to.
Hearing the chair squeak as he stands up, she quickly scrambles to her feet to put more distance between them. Wiping her face with the back of her hands, she slowly begins inching towards her bag that was resting next to the table. Raising a hand at his whisper though, she stops him in his tracks. "Don't—" She croaks through her abused throat. "Don't you dare... come any closer!" Her eyes stay on the ground, not willing to meet his after seeing him go insane as she stumbles towards the table.
Taehyung stops, his hand falling down to his side, still keeping his eyes on her, ‘’I... I--’’ He grew frustrated, ‘’You asked me to do it...I shouldn’t  have.’’
Grabbing her bag, she pulls her bottle out of it before desperately chugging half of it down to soothe her throat. Once done, she braces herself against the chair still wheezing as her eyes snap up to meet his, forgetting her earlier woes. "I asked you to fuck yourself. Not fucking kill me!" Her words were crude and harsh, but she feels little to no care. Her eyes flicker down to his case file still laying untouched on the table. "Is that— is this what happened to them, Taehyung? Is this why they're dead?"
Taehyung’s expression was sombre, eyes following her gaze to look at the casefile. He sits back down in the couch, leaning forward with his hands clasped together. The very same position he was in the first time they met, ‘’It’s...’’ The way she threw her words at him made him flinch, ‘’I didn’t want to hurt you.’’
Her eyes follow each of his movements, not understanding why her heart aches when he collapses down on the chair after what he did to her. As much as the sane part of her tells her to run while she still can, her medically trained brain fails to see its rationality. He was still her patient who needs her help. Right now, he wasn't the man who tried to hurt her. Sighing miserably, she steps closer to him. "Hey... I know you didn't mean to— it's... okay!" It wasn't. But that was not what he needed to hear right now.
Taehyung looks up at her, keeping his hands tightly clasped together, as if he’s holding his own hand to keep himself grounded. ‘’Did you... want to do it? Why did you ask me to lose control?’’
Her gaze swivels between his clasped hands to hers, remembering how they'd started it all innocently. Pressing a palm to the table, she slumps down into the chair still keeping her distance from him. "I did... Of course, I wanted to do it!" She pauses briefly before glancing up at him with her puffy eyes. "I didn't know you'd... Taehyung, you didn't lose control. You chose to control me instead..." And he damn well took sick pleasure from the crazed look in his eyes. "There's a difference!"
Taehyung started rocking back and forth again, eyes flickering between hers, “I’m not bad.” He convinced himself of this. He wasn’t a bad person. He wasn’t the person in the case files. That was somebody else inside of him.
Right there, her first real evidence of his mental illness— his split personality. Without breaking their eye contact, she stands up on unsteady feet taking slow steps towards him, as if approaching a caged animal. "No, you're not bad..." She repeats after him in as much a soothing voice she could manage despite her tender throat. "That wasn't you." She hesitates to kneel before him, fearing it'd be a trigger. "Remember? This is just a dark cloud. It will pass soon and the daffodils will bloom!"
Taehyung intertwines his fingers, as if holding himself tightly, eyes following her every movement. He didnt want to startle her, but oh did he want to hold her. "Are you going to tell them? Are you gonna... stop seeing me?" He didnt care whether or not he was gonna end up free or caged. He just wanted to see her. He didnt want her to leave.
Her heart constricts at the distress in his tone and she moves even closer, letting her shaky fingers reach his hair to soothe it down in reassurance. "I'll tell them in my own way..." She couldn't write down what happened in her report, but she could always omit it out now that she had a diagnosis. Pushing his messy locks out of his eyes, her other hand goes to tilt his chin up to face her. "And who will treat you if I stop coming here? I'm not going anywhere until those flowers of yours bloom."
He genuinely smiles at her words, his hands relaxed in his lap. He dared to let his fingers reach up to gently caress the back of her hand that held his chin, “Thank you.” A knock on the door insinuated that time was up for today’s session, and Taehyungs smile fell. He didn’t want her to leave. She was his daffodil. And not knowing what she was going to do about what happened today made him feel anxious. Maybe she'd keep seeing him, maybe she was just lying to keep him satisfied, then telling them he’s guilty? Or would she deem him as mentally insane, and throw him away to the doctors? The next step was in her hands.
She returns his smile with an unsettled one of her own, that disappears the moment there's another loud knock on the metal door. Shuffling back from him, she smoothes her hair down and runs a hand over her face, looking down at Taehyung. "Do I look okay?" She cannot step out there looking like a mess, making anyone question what happened in there or even suspect a thing. Buttoning her blouse back up as she keeps her eyes on him, "Tae— no one can know what happened here today. Promise me?"
‘‘I promise, if you promise to come back.’‘ Taehyung ran his hand through his hair, a small smile on his lips as he eyes her up and down, ‘‘You look beautiful.’‘
Tsking her tongue at his need to bargain, "I won't be allowed to come back ever if you tell them the truth." She turns to grab her bag, realizing a second later how blunt her words might have sounded. He didn't need that right now, especially not from her. Forcing a smile upon her lips, "Thank you! I promise I'll be back. I might have a way to help you, but I need to discuss the legalities of it with your lawyer. I'll see you tomorrow." She casts one last look at him before leaving promptly.
Taehyung didn’t answer, and quietly observed as she left. Shortly after, the guards came in and cuffed him before leading him to his cell.
That night, Taehyung couldn’t stop thinking about her, even moreso difficult than the previous night. He now knew what she felt like, what she smelled like... The way her tears streamed down her face mixed with drool, struggling for air while choking on his cock— ‘‘Fuck,’‘ He hissed through gritted teeth, one arm placed over his eyes as he laid on his back in the bed, the other occupied with touching himself, thinking of his doctor.
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Paraphilia. There was no other easy way to put this down on his report. It wasn't just his split personality, but his sadistic approach to intercourse that bordered on getting off from his partner's pain which led to the murders— she felt sick to even type it down. She can only imagine how he must've felt. The police had found him at the scene of the crime after all. After a long winded discussion with his lawyer, it was decided they'd plead guilty without any criminal charges.
She'd suggest a combined treatment of drugs and behavioural therapy at the facility she worked at so she'd be able to treat him herself for however long they sentenced him into rehabilitation. Content with her work, she found herself making her way back to the prison the next day to share the news with Taehyung. Seeing how the guard was already at his post outside, looking bored, she knew he'd be waiting for her. It was time to keep her promise. She steps in with a smile, "Hi Taehyung!"
Taehyung was anxiously waiting for her to arrive, biting the skin of his fingers. As she finally walks in through the door, chiming his name out with a smile, he straightens up his posture, unable to stop the boxy smile of his own to curl on his lips, ‘‘You came!’‘
"Of course, I did." Leaving her bag on the floor, she turns to him still standing. "I don't break my promises, and I might have found a way to help you!" She finishes, with her gaze intently watching every emotion flickering across his eyes while edging into her chair sideways as she continues. "But before that, I need to know how you're feeling after uh— yesterday?" It was the first time she refuses to meet his eyes in all of their interactions, her eyes lowered as if in shyness but not quite.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, leaning back against the couch as he tries to meet her eyes, but she was purposefully averting them. However he felt a small sense of pride in this, feeling like he’s got a small amount of power of her since yesterday, ‘‘I’m okay. Hm... what about you?’‘
Busying herself with pulling the report and her faithful notepad out, she hums evasively. "Been good... Any problems with sleeping again?" It wasn't fear or any need to be submissive. But seeing his eyes spark with life on many occasions, she'd gotten so used to them that it truly shook her when she witnessed their lifeless dark depths rivetted upon her during whatever it was that happened between them. This was her own way stopping herself before it gets any worse. He was just her patient.
Taehyung shrugged, he wasn’t sure if he ever slept well these days, maybe he was just used to it, so he just didn’t know. ‘’I guess so... I don’t sleep much in general.’’
As much as she wanted to continue on with the trajectory he provided, there was an elephant in the room that she needed to address first. Letting her eyes trail over his form, she finally meets his gaze with regret filling hers. "Taehyung, about yesterday, I owe you an apology for behaving so... unprofessionally and compelling you to do something you clearly didn't want to. I don't know what got into me. I've never— I just wanted you to know I'm genuinely sorry and it'll never happen again!"
Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest, the default position of holding himself, eyes flickering between hers as his head tilted vaguely, ‘’It won’t..?’’ In this case, he meant the situation at all. Did she regret getting down on him? Or did she regret triggering him? He wasn’t sure, and at this point he didn’t want to dig too deeply into it, anxious that he’d scare her off. He couldn’t afford to, especially not when there’s news of him possibly getting out of prison.
When she catches him crossing his arms, she sighs knowing the tell tale signs of suppressing ones true emotions. "It won't." She repeats firmly as if looking down upon a petulant child, her frustrations growing from the amount of whiplash this one man was giving her. "In your own best interest and mine, it's only proper that I remain as your therapist and nothing more, ever." Pushing a new file towards him, "It contains my diagnosis on you. You're welcome to read it if you want or I could summarize it for you."
Taehyung squinted, his gaze lingering on her as if he’s trying to find the lie. No, she was serious. She meant it. He hummed noncomittedly as he grabbed the file, flipping through the pages with his eyebrows drawn together. He didn’t look at her, keeping his eyes on the words on the paper, that apparently were about him,‘‘Yeah, if you could... summarize, that’d be great.’‘
Leaning back in her chair at his request, she hides her surprise at his nonchalance about the nature of their relationship. Wasn't this exactly what she wanted though? "You've been diagnosed with split personality and paraphilia, which is something like sexual sadism but to the extreme. Your lawyer, Jim—Mr. Park," she corrects herself, "—thinks this report would be enough to plead guilty without any criminal charges. I have detailed your treatment in there too. You'll be under my care in the hospital."
Taehyung’s eyebrow twitches when she almost mentions his lawyer by first name. Were they two close? He didn’t like that at all. But that was for another time ‘‘Hospital...?’‘ He squints at the words on his paper, looking at the treatment section, ‘‘That’s a lot of medication... Do I have to take it? Isn’t therapy enough?’‘
Wondering if the flash of anger on his face was due to the mention of hospital, she quickly seeks to appease him. "Yes, its the facility I work at. They're not going to completely release you until I find the underlying reason for your illness and treat you back to sound mental health..." Peeking over at the long list of medication he was looking at, she winces apologetically. "We treat certain cases with a combination of drugs and behavioural therapy. I'd reduce the dosage as time goes on. But for now, I'm afraid you need it, Taehyung!"
Taehyung puts the file back on the table, his eyes now back on her as he leans forward with his hands clasped together, ‘’Okay. I’ll do it.’’ He figured this was the best way for now, better than prison. He had to be there for himself to be able to plan out what he has to do, but he’s sure he can reduce the time there quickly, if he’s on his best behavior, and if the nurses were not as strict as he expects them to be... Skipping those meds would be a piece of cake.
Casting him a mildly suspicious look at his all too quick acceptance, she leans forward in his chair. "It's not a matter of your willingness, but the court's verdict in your next hearing. Until then, we continue with our therapy here." As much as she was positive it'd all work out in the end, she didn't want to feed him too much hope. "And Taehyung, I'll be your doctor there! Don't even think you can trick me or my assistants when you're under our care." She warns, taking the file back from him.
‘‘Of course... You can trust me, doctor.’‘ He smiled, but in the back of his head he was cursing. He’d have to figure this out as time went on. But for now, he had to lay low and cooperate. He remained silent leaning back to get comfortable, hands neatly clasped in his lap.
"I dearly hope I can." She mutters under her breath with a slight curve of her lips. Stacking the papers together, she clips it all back in the file as she speaks. "I'll leave it to Jimin to fill you in on the rest of the details about your next hearing. I'll be there before, to give my word as well." Putting everything away, she finally faces him ready to begin their session. "So, we can start from where we left off yesterday. Wh—" She realizes a minute too late, what that'd imply, her face instantly flushing at the memory.
Taehyung's eye twitches at the first name basis she calls his lawyer by once more. This time she didn’t even tries to stop herself. His jaw clenches, but he wills himself to relax once more. He crooked an eyebrow at her last words, and her reaction only made him feel a stir in his lower abdomen at the memory. Behave, Taehyung. “Let’s... where did we leave this at? Remind me.” He wanted to pressure her a bit. It’s the least he could do to get rid of his slowly building jealousy of Jimin.
Her gaze snaps up to meet his at the not so subtle demand, only to find the familiar darkness swirling around its depths. This weird affliction of hers with Taehyung will be the death of her, she decides. Sliding forward in her seat, she speaks in a softer tone, her earlier embarrassment forgotten. "Oh? You'd like that wouldn't you? For me to remind you..." Her voice turns into a whisper with her eyes tracing over his features. "Then how about a reminder of today morning when I told you it's never happening again, Taehyung?"
His lips curl up in a wolfish grin, he was trying so hard to behave. He was going to mess this up again if she kept spurring him on like this. First, she calls his lawyer by his first name. Second, she dares to whisper to him in that manner and within the same moment, reject him? Behave, Taehyung. “I don’t believe you.” Fuck, shut up, he told himself. But the darker part of him didn’t give a rats ass.
Wrong move. At the sight of his predatory grin, she admonishes herself for feeding into his desires when she's supposed to be doing the opposite as his therapist. She's about to pull away and apologize again, but his words bring her to a standstill. Blinking at the obvious challenge in his gaze, she resists the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Fine. What should I do to prove it to you?" She just had to show it to him she wasn't as affected by him as she really was, and then they can put this entire thing behind them.
His devilish smile grew, the boxy shape of his lips more prominent now. Taehyung slumped down on the couch more comfortably, resting his head back, his eyes were growing colder, piercing through her as his gaze drank her in like she was a fine meal. ‘’Watch me,’’ He smirked, licking his upper teeth in a teasing manner, his hand slowly trailing down his chest towards the hem of his pants, ‘’If you watch me touch myself, and you remain unaffected throughout... If you don’t want me at all while watching me, I'll believe you.’’
The satisfaction in his eyes makes it clear that he had her exactly where he wanted her, slyly caught in his web. Furrowing her brows in confusion, she's about to demand what he meant when she sees his hand inch towards his pant. Her eyes flicker between his hand and his burning gaze, nodding once firmly at his words. She'd just have to pretend to be unaffected. Sighing deeply, she drives her own bargain. "Okay. And if I remain unaffected, swear to me you'll never bring this up again?"
Taehyung chuckles breathily, his hand sneaking beneath his pants to directly touch himself, “Promise. And, if you really want me to stop, just say the word...” He moaned lowly, getting harder underneath the fabrics.
Her mouth parts slightly at his breathy words, his moan affecting her almost instantly making some wetness trickle against her underwear. "No. Go ahead!" She replies in a calm voice, her eyes fixed on him and each of his actions, appearing nonchalant despite the havoc he was beginning to cause in her body.
He sees the way she looks at him, even if her words speak differently. And this way, he could engage with her in the way he so much craved, but didn’t want to risk anything by actually touching her. Not yet. So, this will do. Her eyes will be enough for his inner exhibitionist to thrive off of the audience. All he needs is to get her hot and bothered, without laying a single finger on her.
She can feel the heat raise between her legs, but she resolutely keeps them apart, denying herself any kind of friction by crossing them and giving him the gratification of seeing her lose.
Taehyung lets a breathy moan push through his lips once more, using his other hand to pull his pants down further, taking his length out for her to see. He ran his thumb over his slit, spreading his clear juices down his tip before slowly stroking his cock for her, eyes never once leaving hers. “I love feeling your eyes on me, doctor.” His voice was growing needy, teeth clamping down on his lower lip to put on a show.
Her breath almost seizes when he pulls his rock hard length out. She can still feel the phantom weight of it between her fingers; still remember how deep he went when he used her throat so carelessly. Her core clenches around nothing at the mere memory, a muted gasp leaving her lips when he drawls her name out in his deep voice, causing more slick to pool between her thighs. Her fingers clasp on to the edge of her chair trying not to show how affected she was, despite knowing she has already lost.
“See what you to do me?” Taehyung squeezes his shaft firmly within his grasp. His red, swollen tip leaking with precum, he smooths his hand over his thick length, gathering the juices to spread it down his cock until it was glistening with a layer of his arousal. “Fuck, what I’d do to have you sit on it...” He was slow, but deliberate with his motions, aiming to tease her with visuals that’ll be burned into her memory.
She visibly gulps at his question, no longer worried about hiding how the fire in his gaze burns in her own while he was edging her on without even a single touch or graze of skin. Grinding her teeth together, she bites into the insides of her cheek as he strokes his swollen length when she wants nothing but to sink down on it instead and clinch hard until he can barely move inside her. Her breath leaves her in a whoosh and she opens her mouth before she can stop herself. "Ask for it... beg."
Taehyung groans lowly at her words, his hips gently bucking up into his hand. This felt too fucking good. He knows she was entranced by him, he fucking knows that she wants nothing else than to do as he says. But she was holding back, the sexual tension in the room making it hard to breathe, “Please, doctor,” his pleas were interrupted by a moan escaping his lips when he squeezed his shaft, “I want you... please, sit on my cock, fuck me.”
Some semblance of clarity returns to her at his pleading voice. It might not seem like it, but she knew she had a significant amount of power over him—at least in that instance. Shaking her head without taking her eyes off him, she slides off her chair and moves closer, toying with the hem of her skirt tauntingly but still staying out of his grasping range. "Three more strides and I could be on your lap, fucking you deep and hard. But why should I, Taehyung? Why should I after what happened yesterday?"
Taehyung almost whines at her words, his eyes never once wavering from the way she was playing with the hem of her skirt. He keeps stroking himself to the view, his eyebrows drawn together in sexual frustration. If she wouldn’t give in to him soon, he would almost consider whether or not he cares if he ends up in prison for simply taking her right then and there. And it was all too tempting. ‘‘I didn’t mean to... please fuck me, you’re driving me crazy...’‘
Physically feeling it when the darkness begins creeping into the molten heat of his eyes, she hastens to remedy the situation. Taking a step closer to Taehyung, "You cannot touch me unless I ask you to." Another step, "You don't get to come until I say you can." One last step, she tilts his head up with a finger beneath his chin. "Promise me you won't hurt me again and I'll fuck you?" Her gaze alternates between his scorching eyes and throbbing length, anticipating his reply with bated breath.
Taehyung licks his lips, ceasing to touch himself to let his hands fall limp to his sides, ‘’Yes, yes, I promise,’’ He felt desperate for her, his entire body burning with need to feel her slick heat. Her mouth was already his favourite thing, so he couldn’t even begin to imagine how good her cunt would feel. Now, he promised her he'd not to hurt her. But the little voice in the back of his mind laughed, fingers crossed. He wanted to be good, to show her he’s good. This was a true battle within his mind.
Feeling satisfied with his vocal promise, she reaches beneath her skirt giving him a full view of what lay there, and tugs her ruined underwear off her legs before climbing over his lap. Bracing her knees on either side of his thighs, she picks his hot length in her hand and rubs his swollen head against her dripping folds. "Feel that? See how wet you make me without even touching me, Taehyung?" She breathes against his mouth, her other hand tracing his cheek as she pins him with her eyes.
He’s speechless, his eyes dimmed with lust as they are completely fixated on hers. He nods once, to confirm that she was indeed so fucking wet for him. The familiar fire that spreads throughout his body is ignited, and he curls his fists tightly as he grasps the couch. Do not touch her, Taehyung. Do not touch her.. Touch her, touch... No, she’s in control.
"Use your words!" She reminds him in a whisper, with her lips grazing his and her breathing labored as her eyes roam over his features this close for the first time ever. He looked exquisite with his scorching gaze transfixed upon her. Her thumb traces his lower lip teasingly, wondering how different his mouth would taste from his cock. Giving in to the temptation, she presses her lips against his and sinks down on him at the same time, the sudden stretch making her gasp aloud into his mouth.
Taehyung’s lips part, mirroring her gasp, ‘’Oh my God...’’ He groaned out lowly, a quiet growl vibrating in his chest. This was overwhelming for his senses, how deeply she affected him and awoke every single fibre of his being. It felt like he was on fire beneath his skin, desperately clawing at the fabric of the couch, knuckles turning white. He wanted to flip her over and fuck her dumb with her face pressed down against the couch so so badly... But he promised her. Just fuck her raw, you know you want to.  He shook his head, his eyes screwing shut, ‘’I’m good. I’m good.’’ He wasn’t talking to her, but to the voice in his head.
Trailing her lips across his cheek and down to his neck, she whimpers burying her face in there. She was right. She could feel his length easily hit her crevix in this angle, stretching her slick walls more than anyone ever had before. It felt like she was made just for him.
Once the initial pain subsides, she raises herself on her knees and sinks down again, welcoming the delicious burn with a throaty moan. "Yes... God! You're good. You're so good to me, Taehyung." She mumbles into his neck, slowly rocking her hips over his, getting used to being filled to the brim.
Threading her fingers into his messy hair, she tugs it back to expose his neck to her greedy lips, nipping and licking along the skin until she reaches his parted mouth. Backing away to look down at him, she hides her disappointment at his closed eyes, choosing to test his restraint instead. "Taehyung... Kiss me."
His eyes slowly open, and the expression on her face was something he could only dream of. Taehyung's head was screaming at him once more, to just fucking take over, and it was probably the most restraint he's ever held against the temptations. As long as she didn't push him further, he would be fine. He wouldn't hurt her... but God, did he want to? He obliged to her wishes, craning his neck to chase her lips with his own, the soft warmth of her lips drawing groans and moans from him, mixed with the feeling of her moving up and down his fat length.
Normally, he would be the one to dirty talk a whole lot more, but he kept his mouth busy with hers, focusing his entire self on keeping himself restrained, his nails almost digging holes into the couch at this point.
She moans against his lips, licking into his mouth as she deepens their kiss, groaning as his taste floods her senses. She could feel his potent hunger for her, so intense bordering on insanity and the masochist in her found it all too tempting to just give in.
Increasing her pace, she bounces on his lap in a wild frenzy, clenching down on his girth hard every time she plunged down on his cock. She could almost feel her high. Almost. Yet, not quite.
Something was missing. Whining in frustration, she pulls away from his mouth and cups his cheeks to make him look at her. She needed his touch to cum even if she knew it was a dangerous thing to even think about. "God... I want your touch so badly. You want it too, don't you?" Laying open mouthed kisses on his jaw, she whispers into his skin. "Make me cum, Tae... Please."
Right there and then, it was like the switch inside of him flipped, the little strength he had left to resist his greedy desires completely washed away from her words. She asked for it, she truly did.
The voice in the back of his head suddenly grew louder, needier. ''Yeah? You need me to make you cum, huh?'' His low, vibrating voice growled out, his hands wasting no time in grabbing her ass, and squeezing the flesh between his fingers so hard, his blunt nails would definitely leave marks,
''Shit, I've wanted you to say that since the very second you came in that door,'' He moaned out in pleasure, using his strength to lift her from his cock just to roughly slam her back down, his hips bucking up to meet her hips, the impact so hard that his bulbous tip is kissing her cervix with every snap.
''Fuck! You feel so fucking good, so fucking gooood...'' His eyes were dimmed in lust and his growing craze for her, the lifeless yet lustful stare blackened out. He wasn't gonna stop, whether she was too sensitive or not, whether she came several times or not. No, he wouldn't stop until he was satisfied.
Her body shudders violently at the sound of his growl, a terrified squeak leaving her lips regardless of the excitement she feels at the brutal press of his fingers against her flesh. "Yes, God... yes!" She whimpers, her pleasure edging on pain once he begins pounding up into her in his relentless pursuit of bliss— more his than hers, she realizes as her eyes tear up from his harsh pace.
Loosening her legs around him, she completely surrenders into his unforgiving touch, mewling lowly when he hits so deep that she could feel him in her womb. "Don't... don't stop please... Fuck!" She bends forward, burrowing her face into his neck, nipping at the soft skin before latching on to it with her teeth, determined to give him equal pain as her fingers work through his shirt buttons to feel his hot skin beneath her palms. One more ruthless thrust of his hips against hers, his pelvis digging hard into her swollen clit and she cums, her body almost seizing at the intensity of her orgasm as she begins almost sobbing his name aloud when he doesn't stop.
“Came already?” He smiles wickedly, but quickly that smile morphs into gritted teeth as he keeps grunting and growling, her fleshy walls spasming around his fat length so perfectly. He had stamina for days, he could fuck her forever if he had the ability to choose, but he knows that with the way she whimpers and sobs his name, he wouldn’t last much longer either. He roughly throws her body down against the couch head first, one hand on the back of her neck pushing her pretty face against the fabrics of the cushion and the other lifting her ass up for him as he gets on his knees behind her, mercilessly advancing his hips back into her clenching hole, skin slapping skin loudly.
She removes her teeth from his neck, her breasts heaving harshly, trying to get some air into her lungs when he unexpectedly pushes her onto the couch. She knew she'd awakened the beast when she asked to be touched, but this— he thrusts back into her without warning, making her sob loudly at the unwelcome intrusion
“You’re a fucking whore for my fat cock, aren’t you?!” His voice was low, almost mocking yet laced with his animalistic greed for her body, utterly lost in his madness, pistoning his cock into her like it was his mission to tear her cunt apart, “You wanted this, you begged for this, fuck— it feels so good, Shit!”.
Her core, still ultra sensitive from her previous orgasm, aches painfully when his still hard as rock length rips through her insides. She digs her nails into the couch, her jaws wide open in a silent scream as he rams his cock in over and over again, taking her like a savage. He was right. She was a whore for his cock. A masochist, addicted to this dark side of him— her own personal piece of hell for the sins she was committing. Soon, a trickle of pleasure begins winding its way from her wrecked womb even through the agony and she grips her walls harder against his cock, hoping he'd spill inside her before actually tearing her apart.
Taehyung kept up a brutal phase, relishing in the choked sobs and silent screams. If a soul could be on fire, his was melting inside of him, the heat pooling in his lower abdomen in the form of an upcoming orgasm. He was gonna cum so fucking hard, all because of her. In his own mind, it feels like he’s claiming her body as his own,
“You are mine, you hear that?!” He snarls as he grew bored of the current position, desperate to see her face. With a swift movement of his strong hands, he once more flips her over like a ragdoll until she was laying on her back, pressing her legs up so far that her knees are adjacent to her head, still plunging his cock into her cunt. This new angle feels even better, abusing her tight insides like his life depended on it,
Right when she believed there would be relief, Taehyung once again proves her wrong by tossing her around and forcing himself inside her violated cunt without any mercy. She feels him go even deeper in this angle, as if it were even possible. She presses the back of her hand to her lips, to keep from sobbing aloud and drawing attention from anyone outside.
“Tell me, doctor”, he moans out with a voice just as strained, his eyes heavy as he stares down at her fucked out state, rocking his hips back and forth with long, firm strokes, “Tell me you’re mine!”
Each time he slams into her, it's as if he wants to infuse himself within her; as if he wants to ruin her for anyone else— her other hand digs painfully onto his arms that holds her down, her toes curling as she feels another orgasm approaching. "Y—yes Taehyung, yes..." She gives into his demand immediately, her voice unwavering. "All yours! I'm yours... only yours." She mumbles over and over again, pushing the side of her face against the couch when it all gets too much to hold back and she cums again, which hurts more than the pleasure she feels as her abused insides grip him tight.
''Y/N,'' Taehyung moans out her name, his hips rocketing into her, phase quickening as he feels like he's gonna go fucking crazy at the wet, squelching noises he draws from her cunt with every stroke driving him insane with how good it feels. When she cums once more on his cock with the squeezing spasms of her walls, the orgasm he's been dying to reach finally reaches him, ''I'm gonna cum! Fuck yes—'' He thrusts into her rapidly clenching pussy a few more times before he grunts, falling forward on top of her body with his elbows placed on each side of her head, letting her legs fall freely to his sides. He hovers with his face above hers, sweat causing his overgrown fringe to stick to his face, eyes closed as he holds their spasming bodies tightly together, savouring the feeling of his throbbing cock spilling his cum deep inside of her.
At the first spurt of his thick cum into her tortured core, a wave of relief washes over her knowing he was done with her for now. Her limbs fall lifelessly on to the couch, despite wanting to push him off her and tell him not to cum inside her. Knowing him, he might not react well to it and she didn't wish to stoke the beast when it seemed satiated at long last. She was probably going to be sore for days, and maybe that had been his plan along.
Finally, she pries open her eyes and blinks up at him through her tears, her body still shaking with occasional tremors every time his warm seed squirts into her womb as if he hasn't filled her up enough. As much as she was upset with him for reducing her to this sobbing mess, she knew she had it coming from the very moment she allowed him to touch her, well aware that she was feeding into his obsession with her.
Taehyung felt himself come back down to reality, in a sense, when the loud monster within him seemed to retreat back into the corners of his soul, satiated for the moment. His gaze traces her features, a glorious mess, knowing he did this to her. But only because she begged him to, she taunted him to. He had absolutely loved it, her submissive sounds, her small body underneath his own, all for him to use. He loved her.
Lifting her slightly trembling hands up to his face, she pushes his sweaty locks off his eyes, content to see the life shining in there once again as opposed to the darkness they were shrouded with not minutes ago. Tracing a thumb under his eyes, "Are you happy?" She breathes out, still struggling to get proper air flow into her lungs. "I lied… I want you just as much as you want me, Tae."
His eyes flickered between hers at her words, as if trying to find the lie. But he couldn’t see it. He wasn’t sure. So he chose to believe her, and a small smile inched his lips upwards, he took the opportunity to kiss her softly on her lips, this one so gentle and affectionate in contrast to what he’d just done to her. “I love you.” He slipped out, merely a raspy whisper, but it was his truth. He slowly got off her body, pulling her along with him as he sat down, wrapping his arms around her in a hug, gently stroking her hair, “You’re my flower, my Daffodil!"
She observes him carefully in this quiet between them, his eyes gliding down her exhausted form still pinned beneath under his body. The wickedness was long gone from his gaze, replaced with uncertainty at her words which soon morphs into undeniable trust weakening her own resolve against giving in to him.
And so, she lets him kiss her, the soft caress of his smiling lips against hers a complete contradiction of his treatment earlier, making her heart tighten in an unnamed emotion. It is only when he utters those three little words, the very last thing she ever expected to hear from him, her entire body freezes up with a muted gasp slipping past her lips.
She lets him pick her off the couch, embrace her lovingly, and even go as far as calling her his flower while the panic slowly sets in her tensed form. It was only his obsession that he was mistaking for love, she was convinced. But how to explain it to him after everything she let him do to her.
Squirming in his hold, she pulls back slightly to look up at him with her bewildered eyes. "Taehyung... No! You— you barely know me for three days. This is not love..." It was merely their carnal desires, making them indulge in each other. "And I'm just your therapist. Not your flower... no..." She whispers softly as if to a wounded animal that could strike her at any moment if she made one wrong move.
His smile faded, eyebrows drawn together at her words, as if hes trying to process the meaning behind them, "You're not just my therapist." He sits up properly, helping her to do the same next to him, "You're mine. You said it yourself.. " he leaned closer to her face, eyes squinting, "I dont understand you...." his jaw clenched, as if trying to stay calm, but he feels the small frustration building inside.
He couldnt understand why she would keep giving in to him physically, but withdraw when he brings his emotions into the picture. He loved her, so what? He had already made his decision. And there's nothing that could change his mind.
She winces when he moves her upright, her skirt rubbing uncomfortably against her swollen cunt. Taking a deep breath and willing the pain away, she glances up to see his unhappy face. "Taehyung..." She tries again in the same placating tone she used before. "I said that in the heat of the moment." Because that's exactly what he wanted to hear from her even if she didn't mean it. Although, she decides not to say it outloud and incense him further.
"This thing between us is not love. We had needs. You wanted me. I did too, I wanted you. But that's just it! Consider this like uh... a kind of behavioural therapy to help you." She tries not to cringe at her own words. None of what she's saying makes sense to her either. She was usually better than this at explaining things, emotions or the lack of it to people. But her brain struggles to cooperate as she trails her eyes over his tense form in concern. Maybe she should've just let him say it without saying anything back— only, that would be akin to leading him on which would've been worse. Sighing heavily, she tries to pull away from him completely. "There's nothing left here to understand. I shouldn't have let any of this happen from the start! It's all my fault..."
Taehyung grabs her wrist as she pulls away, his rich stare growing more frustrated with her, “You’re lying.” He scoffed, “I know what I’m feeling, don’t tell me what is real and what isn’t!”
"I have no reason to lie to you about this!" She cryes, struggling to pry her wrist away from his grip, her voice no longer gentle when he seems to not hear her reasons. "Look... I'm not trying to call your feelings fake. But be realistic about this, Taehyung. You know me for less than two hours in the past three days. Maybe it's infatuation... or lust— let's not label it fancifully as love because it's not!" Placing her other hand over his, she doubles her efforts to wrest his fingers off her arm as she looks at him pleadingly.
Taehyung sighs, but he lets go of her wrist, fumbling to button up his shirt and pull his pants on properly, ''Let's call it lust, then.'' He runs his fingers through his hair, his face stoic as he's in thought. His brain was swirling once more, she was right. They had only known eachother for a mere few hours... But, he knows this feeling. This must be love. Right?
''Question....'' He looks at her while straightening the collar of his shirt, ''Do you seek to trigger my, so called...para...'' He hums as he tries to recall the diagnosis.
She rolls away with a barely concealed grimace once he frees her from his grasp, glad he was finally seeing things clearly. Rubbing a hand over where he held her wrist, she tries to guage how many bruises she might wake up with in the morning and will have to cover up in order not raise anyone's suspicion when his question leaves her shaken.
"What—" Her face falls as she presses her lips together, and hurriedly shakes her head. "God, no! Never, Taehyung. I'd never..." She begins reaching for him with her hand, but thinks against it at the last minute and drops it to her lap. "I want to cure you off your Paraphilia. Not trigger it..." A small part of her might have taken advantage of his weakness for her to try stopping him from doing anything extreme. But he didn't have to know that. "I told you, I only want to help you get better."
“Okay,” he nods, eyes suddenly averting from hers to look at the casefile on the table. He sits back down, looking as if he didn’t just fuck her with all his strength. Well, apart from the marks she left on his arms with her nails, which he didn’t seem to even notice. He rubbed his nape as he kept staring at the file on the table, lips falling open as if he wants to say something, but they close back together just as fast.
He had a lot on his mind to process, from his feelings, to everything they both just did, the way she suddenly rejected him, and now the future. Then once more, the voice smirking in the back of his mind wasn’t worried, it knew exactly what it wanted, and it was her. Nothing else mattered, everything else can be thrown to the side. Fuck the short amount of time together, it was enough. And she wanted him, he’s sure of it. She was just saying this because he was her patient. And one day, he won’t be— and they can be together. Yes... that’s what he believes.
She stands up on unsteady feet, her insides still quivering, and smoothens down her wrinkled skirt. But it turns out to be a mistake when she feels his cum dribble out of her abused cunt, prompting her to quickly tug on her underwear before she dripped everywhere. And that's when she notices Taehyung's eyes fixed on his file on the table but his gaze far away, his mouth opening and closing as if he had questions but didn't want to hear any replies from her.
Calmly, she shuffles back towards him, her mind already formulating a proposition that he might not approve of. "Taehyung, if you don't trust me anymore, I understand. I have been anything but professional to you..." She drums her fingers against the table when he doesn't look up at her or even appears to have acknowledged her. "I can ask someone else to replace me as your therapist. They'll take care of you from now on... You don't have to see me ever again if this all makes you feel awkward?"
His lip quivered at the very mention of her being replaced, eyes darting over to her form. “No. I don’t want anyone else.” He responded coldly. He truly didn’t. If it wasn’t her, he wouldn’t say shit. He wouldn’t cooperate. And by now, he knows she had grown attached too; whether it be out of lust or out of pity. It should be enough to keep her around, he hoped.
“It has to be you.” His eyes softened, glossing over with a layer of tears. He did feel sad, however, this was also gaslighting. He didn’t need to cry. He just wanted to squeeze her heart a little bit for him.
His reaction to her suggestion, just like she expected, didn't phase her much. Every single behaviour of his validating her earlier claim of how she was just his new obsession that he fantasized as love.
Normally, this is when she should throw the towel and withdraw completely from him before either of them posed a real threat to the other. But she genuinely wanted to be the one that cures him. And despite knowing how his glazed eyes were nothing but a device of manipulation, she moves even closer to him and places a hand on his shoulder and rubs it down, cooing at him softly. "Alright... I won't leave you. But then, you need to genuinely cooperate with me and work towards getting better. Promise me, Taehyung?" Her profound need to fix anything broken very well might be the death of her one of these days.
He melts under he touch, feeling accomplished. She wouldn't leave, and that's all he needed. "Okay, I promise," he nodded, and as if he wasnt about to cry in the first place, his eyes were dried up, a small smile on his lips. He glanced over at the clock, completely unaware of how much time had passed. "How much time is left for today?"
As doubtful as she was about his promise, she didn't let it show on her face choosing to return his smile. Glancing down at her watch, "We have about less than twenty minutes left." She contemplates whether to sit down, but chooses not to knowing it'd be harder to get up and out of the chair again. "I won't be seeing you until after your hearing tomorrow, if I can manage. Or it's gonna be only the day after..."
Moving her hand down his arm, she wraps it around his hand and squeezes it comfortingly. It might not have been very sensible to touch him again, but the line between them was so blurry by now that she didn't mind it. "Are you nervous about the hearing?"
Taehyung gently wraps his long fingers around hers, squeezing back as a response, a small sigh pushing through his lips, "Yeah, kind of." She wouldn't be there, so he would feel empty. But for her sake, he'd do well. And hope that things go the way she tells him it would.
She strokes the back of his hand softly with her thumb taking one more step closer and wraps her other hand around his shoulders before bringing him to rest against her body. A hug won't hurt when they've done much more than that. "Don't let it rob you off your sleep tonight. Whichever way it goes, let's hope for the best. And please listen well to Jimin, okay?" Her fingers move into his hair to stroke it gently while she stands holding him close.
Taehyung melts into her hug, sinking his face into the crook of her neck by instinct. He sighed softly, until she mentions Jimin's name. She kept addressing him by his first name so casually, and it was kind of stepping on his nerves. Maybe, he was overthinking it though, but... He still felt jealous. He wanted to be the only one with a casual first name basis. Then again, he has to be nice. Jimin is his lawyer after all.
Taehyung stands still, savouring her embrace for a long as she'd will let him, a soft whisper pushing through his lips, ''Okay. I'll do well.''
She had to raise herself on to her toes and tilt her head all the way back due to their difference in height when he decides to burrow himself into their hug. Despite knowing well how her actions could be considered as her bring irresponsible again and showing her fondness for him openly, especially after his confession, she brushes it all off and holds him close while running her fingers through his hair constantly. He needed her, for now. Just until he got better.
"That's good! Hopefully I'll get to see you at the facility next time and not here." She whispers back, trying not to shiver from his words spoken into her neck. Reluctantly, she tries pulling away only to meet with some resistance from him. "Taehyung, I should be going soon..."
“Just a little longer...” he murmurs into her neck, his arms dare to snake around her waist to hold her tighter, urging her to stay. His heart was beating hard in his chest, the quiet sound of the way he inhales her scent, the only sound heard for the moment. She truly smelled like a flower. If he could choose, he wouldn’t ever let go of her soft body, so small in his embrace. She was like a drug to his senses, both easing his mind & driving him mad.
She lets him hold her for a few extra minutes at his request, her senses hyper aware of how snugly he was embracing her and her heart thumping equally hard in her chest that was flushed against his. Her fingers begin drawing senseless patterns on the back of his neck, on the little exposed skin over the collar of his shirt as she keeps her eyes open and fixed on the ceiling, knowing very well she couldn't afford to get lost in the way he held her. Because she knew his arms weren't always this tender. The strength in them, as cherishing as they may feel right then, could easily snap her in two if he lost his mind to the beast again.
One more look at the clock on the wall and she sighs seeing their time was almost up. "Tae..." Her fingers sink into his hair and tug them back, trying to move his head away from her sensitive neck. "They're gonna come in here if I don't step out now."
Taehyung sighs deeply, a quiet groan rumbling in annoyance vibrates in his throat when she tugs at his hair. He hesitates for a moment, but eventually, he releases his grip around her, letting his hands fall to his sides, ''I just... I'll miss you.''
She moves away, breathing in relief when his arms finally stop caging her in his hold. Something small tugs her heart at his genuine voice, but she stomps it down harshly before looking up at him again. "You'll see me in two days at the facility... keep holding on to that thought, hm?" Slowly, she collects her stuff up trying not to limp too much as she moves around him.
Right before she's about to open the door though, she turns to cast him a longing look unintentionally. "I..." She begins, her eyes tracing over his features and a little lost in whatever she was about to say, until she decides not to. "—take care, Tae!" She leaves him with a smile. Between her statement and Jimin's tenacity, she was quite confident she'll see him at her facility soon.
 And when he was there, nothing could stop her from trying to get him better.
CLICK ME FOR PART TWO
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This is the roleplay with  🍁anon turned into part one of this fiction! I hope you love it as much as I do. A big thank you to  🍁 for creating the amazing header, saving the rp, hence why I was even able to repost this in the first place. AND for helping me edit this, I am so so grateful for this. Now, I even think it is even better than the previous version! 
© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.
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Problematic Faves Cliffs Notes: Harvey Dent/Two-Face
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Batman (1980) #329
Summary: Once a crusading district attorney that worked alongside Batman and Jim Gordon to fight crime – now the duality-obsessed super criminal known as Two-Face.
Harvey Dent also serves as a dark reflection of Batman's own struggles living a dual life with conflicting identities.
Main Goal: To enact his own justice whilst committing crimes.
Fears: Uncertainty, himself in general [the things he's capable of, specifically], losing control, his loved ones dying, his darker half discovering Bruce's secret identity [Detective Comics (2016) #1021], Renee Montoya's rejection [Batman: No Man's Land, novel], and the Joker [Joker (2008), only].
Mindset: Sees himself bound by fate and its will. As a result of Harvey's black-and-white worldviews, he considers his two-headed (scarred on one side) silver dollar a truly objective instrument of justice due to it only yielding two simple, 50/50 outcomes at the end of every coin toss.
"Some people go to the beach to forget their problems. They can watch the waves for hours. I understand the fascination.
There's a pattern – then there is no pattern.
It's the same with the coin. We want it all to mean something – we want to find the pattern – but in the final analysis, it's just waves."
— Harvey Dent, Secret Origins Special (1989) #1
•••
"He was always interested in the law – some might say obsessed. Man's law gave order to Harvey's world – they delineated the parameters of right and wrong, good and evil. They gave him something to believe in."
— Gilda Dent, Secret Origins Special (1989) #1
•••
Hugo Strange: Let's go back further, you were a rising star, a beacon of light for this city. A white knight riding in to save it with the Dark Knight not far behind.
Harvey Dent: You can leave him out of this. He is wrong. They all are. No one understands the beauty of fate's hand. I am grateful to Falcone. He gave me a clarity; a purity that few will know. Everything boils down to a simple choice, this way or that way, good... or bad.
Hugo Strange: Do you really believe that?
Harvey Dent: How could I not?
— Batman: Arkham City
•••
Batman: If you pull the trigger, how are you different from the Roman?
Harvey Dent: That's Jim Gordon talking. You know the system doesn't work. That justice can be decided like the flip of a coin.
— The Long Halloween
•••
"You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time... but you were wrong! The world is cruel. And the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced, fair."
— Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
•••
"Life's a lottery, Holman. It's chance that decides who lives and who dies. Who gets cancer. Which kid is born with spina bifida. Who gets run over by a truck.
This [the coin] is what decides whether or not I blow your wife's brains out."
— Harvey Dent, Joker's Asylum: Two-Face #1 
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Teen Titans Spotlight (1987) #13
Character Traits:
🌗 Loving • Idealistic • Genuine • Principled • Resolute • Focused • Driven • Workaholic • Passionate • Eloquent • Wrathful • Obssessed • Brooding • Self-loathing • Black-and-white thinking • Dauntless • Fair • Honest (generally) • Man of his word • Learned helplessness (regarding the coin and his choices) • Self-destructive • Unpredictable • Hair-trigger temper • Can be persuaded • Charitable (depends on coin toss) • Takes his pain out on others • Self-enabling • Serious • Harsh • Intimidating • Vengeful • Physically violent • Self-aware • Conflicted • Feels remorse • Tries, but fails to improve as a person • Too Dependent on his coin • Fatalistic • Suicidal • Forgiving • Self-centered, but not selfish 🌗
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Key Facts:
Harvey Dent...
• Had mental health issues long before his disfigurement [Batman Annual (1990 #14, Batman: The Animated Series - Episode 10, and Batman: Arkham City].
• His father physically abused him every day as a child. Christopher Dent used a double-headed coin to make Harvey believe he could "avoid" the beatings if the coin landed on the non-existent "tails" [Batman Annual #14].
• Bruce Wayne was his childhood friend [Rebirth universe & Batman: Nightwalker].
• Harvey "Legal Eagle" Dent was the top of his class [Secret Origins Special (1989) #1].
• Paid for his father's nice apartment [Batman: Two-Face (1995) - Crime & Punishment].
• Half of Harvey wanted to love his father, while the other half wished him dead. Despite everything, he tried to make peace with Christopher prior to the acid attack [Batman Annual #14].
• Never stopped loving/thinking about Gilda Dent when she disappeared from his life following the events of the Long Halloween [Batman (2006) #653 & Batman (2011) #712].
What's more, Harvey continued loving Gilda so much that he wound up murdering her second husband's killer in a pre-Long-Halloween continuity [Batman (1980) #329] because the man's death left Gilda grieving.
• Fun fact: The Power of Love helped him resist Poison Ivy's pheromones in the Dark Victory #11!
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Begone, thot!
• Blamed Batman for what happened to him with Salvatore Maroni Carmine Falcone and the acid attack that scarred his face [Batman: Arkham Knight].
• Uses his coin to determine whether he should kill or spare his victims. Also, he has been known to perform acts of charity [Detective Comics (1942) #66 & Batman: The Silver Age Newspaper Comics Volume 3 (1969-1972)] sometimes.
• Loves and hates Gotham [Batman and Robin (2013) #23.1].
• Dislikes hypocrites [Batman: Two-Face (1995) - Crime and Punishment & The Spectre (2001) #5].
• Developed strong feelings for Renee Montoya in the Batman: No Man's Land storyline.
• Continued caring about Renee deeply, despite the events of Gotham Central (2003) #10 [Convergence: The Question #1-2].
Received training from Batman [Batman #653] and Deathstroke [Deathstroke (2018) #38].
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• Has tried growing better as a person, but he keeps failing [Batman Annual #14 & Batman and Robin Adventures (1995) #1-2].
• Has re-scarred himself more than once [Batman Annual #14, Batman #653, and Batman: Black and White (1996) #1].
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• For all his faults and crimes – such as nearly beating Dick Grayson to death in Robin: Year One – he has helped people [The Batman Chronicles (1999) #16], defended Jim Gordon from himself as Jim's defense lawyer [Detective Comics (1999) #739], cares about the women in his life, and keeps his word when the coin comes up good.
He is a complex character, period.
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Other Facts:
• Has seen Cocteau's "Beauty and the Beast" [Batman (1986) #397].
• Knows how to sculpt [Detective Comics (1986) #563].
• Owns a "thememobile" like Batman [Batman (1987) #410]!
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• Likes baseball [Batman (1987) #411].
• Likes symmetry [Batman (1989) #442].
Smokes, but also doesn't [Batman (1994) #513].
"My own version of the literary reference mark known as a diesis – more commonly known as a double-dagger! My next pair shall strike to the heart of the matter!" — Harvey Dent, Batman: Two-Face Strikes Twice #1 – the words of a man who certainly reads a lot!
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Batman Annual #14 & Teen Titans Spotlight #13 – A himbo he is not!
• Reads classic books such as "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" [Detective Comics #66] and "A Tale of Two Cities" [Batman: Two-Face Strikes Twice #2].
• Still finds putting criminals behind bars fun [Batman Gotham Adventures (1999) #12].
• Can speak Spanish [The Batman Chronicles #16].
• Doesn't mind hitting women at all. There are so many examples of this; Harvey confirmed it himself [Batman: Streets of Gotham (2009) #7], and beat up Jim Gordon's wife in Batman (1999) #572.
• Made a self-insert comic book in an art therapy program. Yup, he wrote and drew it himself [Detective Comics (2001) #753]!
Called it "The Adventures of Copernicus Dent and His Best Girl and Plucky Assistant R'Nee!" 
• Plays chess with Batman [Gotham Knights (2002) #32].
• Has watched Star Trek [Nightwing (2008) #150].
• Fought and killed a werewolf [The 2008 DC Universe Halloween Special]. Yes, really.
• Was a cult leader [Detective Comics (2020) #1020].
• Rebirth!Harvey is now working as a jailhouse lawyer in Blackgate [Detective Comics (2020) #1024].
• Understands how binary code works, but computer geeks make him sick? [Robin (1994) #11] Yeah.
• Has kids. Twins! [Batman: Two-Faces Strikes Twice]. It looks like they're irrelevant.
• Remembered Renee's birthday and sent her tulips [Detective Comics (2000) #747].
• Has been a judge before [The New Batman Adventures - Episode 24 & Arkham Unhinged (2013) #11].
• Hates odd-numbers [Robin: Year One #2].
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gaming-universe · 4 years ago
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Who We Are || Russell Adler
Call of Duty Black Ops: Cold War
-PART FOUR-
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CALL OF DUTY BLACK OPS: COLD WAR! IF YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED/FINISHED THE CAMPAIGN THEN PLEASE DONT READ! Gore, violence, course language, mature content.
Summary: Betrayed and alone after surviving the events that took place on the Solovetsky Islands, Y/n ‘Bell’ L/n faces new and more dangerous threats when she learns that Perseus has other plans for his failed nuclear detonation of Europe. It was only a matter of time before Y/n came face to face with her old team. There is unfinished business between Y/n and Adler, as this operation proves to be more deadly than originally thought.
Author’s Note: So, after finishing the campaign, I needed to do Bell/Player and Adler justice. I loved this game so much, and chosing to play as the female character, I felt like there was a genuine connection between Bell and Adler throughout the game. There is a tag list open for anyone that wishes to stay up to date with the series. Simply comment below. Gif by @travelllar (Girl I’m using all your gifs they are absolutely amazing)
|PART ONE| |PART TWO| |PART THREE|
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Another day, another sleepless night.
It was 5am, the sky a light deep blue, and the last of the Soviet soldiers were leaving town. They had searched almost every square inch of this small fishing village, searching for anyone that might be harboring the ones who broke into their base. You thanked whatever god there was that they seemed to forget about Viktor’s house, which was practically veiled by the night sky on a hill below the lighthouse.
You had been awake since one that morning, watching the Soviet soldiers busy about the town like flies on a wound. As dawn broke, you sighed heavily, closing your tired eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose. Your head throbbed painfully from the lack of sleep, but between your nightmares, reoccuring memories and the ruckas of the soldiers, you doubted you would have slept much at all anyway.
The door to the house opened softly, followed by light footsteps as they moved behind you to stand on your left. You didn’t have to turn to see who it was, the familiar stench of cigar smoke almost made you choke. You could see Adler in your peripherals just fine, you rolled your eyes in mild annoyance. “Do you always have to wear those aviators?” You found yourself asking, as the man in question began to chuckle. You heard him sigh “No, I don’t always have to wear them”.
“Do you have to wear them at 5am in the morning?”
“I suppose not-”
“Good, because you look stupid”.
Adler laughed again, releasing a stream of smoke from his lips as he shook his head in amusement. But doing as you had somewhat suggested, Adler removed his aviators, and hooked them over one of the open buttons of his shirt. The two of you stood in silence, watching as the sky began to turn an early morning grey. Adler huffed more smoke “Did you sleep last night?” He questioned lowly, now leaning his back against the white wooden railing and turning his head towards you.
Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you merely shrugged. “I don’t sleep much, not anymore...” You replied smoothly, now wishing that you had never said anything to begin with. You focused your gaze forward again as Adler’s expression fell, he brought the cigar to his lips. You watched as the waves danced in the early morning sunlight, remembering what is was like to be at their mercy. Adler moved closer to your form, flinching slightly as he watched your hands clench into tight fists. You flexed your fingers with a small wince, a sense of pride washing over you as you examined your bruised knuckles.
“How is your jaw?”
“Fucking sore, but thanks for asking”.
You laughed. A soft, genuine laugh as you finally turned to meet Adler’s gaze. His blue hues stared down into your (eye/colour) eyes with a mixture of emotions. His lips parted slightly as he went to speak, clearing his throat awkwardly. “I know you hate me, for everything I have done to you. Nothing I do will ever make up for the amount of shit I have put you through, but you have no idea how hard it was for me to do what I had to do...” He began, his grip on his cigar tightening. “I didn’t want to kill you, I really didn’t. But Park convinced me that killing you was better than the other option-”.
“And what would the other option have been?” You interrupted, folding your arms over your chest. Adler’s jaw clenched, “Letting you go through life not knowing who you were”. You scoffed loudly, stepping away from the taller man before you as you shook your head in disbelief. “She really convinced you that killing me was better than that!? Sure, I might not have ever figured out who I was before, but what was it you said to me after Cuba? ‘The CIA re-invented me’. I could have started a new life, Adler, and you fucking took that away from me” You growled, your eyes narrowing dangerously as you practically seethed with anger.
You paused for a moment to breathe, brushing stray strands of hair from your face as the wind blew in. There was so much more you wanted to say to him, so much you wanted to curse him for.
“Last night you asked me if I regretted it. If I regretted shooting you that day...” Adler spoke softly, almost painfully as his eyes suddenly became a darker shade of blue. “I regretted it, every single goddamned day afterward. And do you want to know why? Because a part of me hoped that you were alive. After you fell I...I hoped to god that you would resurface, that you would have survived that fall. But as the days went by, I realised you weren’t coming back, and that affected me, Y/n, it really did. When Woods and Mason found heard about what I did, they left, and you have no idea how pissed off Hudson was when he found out-”
“I would say just as pissed off as when he discovered that I was the Perseus Agent willing to defect and help the CIA take him down”.
Adler froze, his eyes widening significantly. For the first time in what you assumed was a long time, Adler was speechless. He stared at you completely dumbfounded, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for something to say. “I...w-what are you-”
“A few days before the whole incident at the airstrip, I sent an enrypted message to the CIA, telling them that I was willing to cooperate and answer any questions they might have had in regards to Perseus in exchange for asylum. I guess my message didn’t reach you in time-”
“But, if you were...” Adler trailed off, once again trying to make sense of things “Why didn’t you tell us? When we found you-”
“Things got a lot more complicated when Arash shot me, I think defecting was the last thing on my mind as I lay bleeding out in that car” You finished explaining, shivering slightly at the cool breeze. Adler hadn’t said a word since you finished your long explaination. He paced back and forth, running a hand along the back of his neck as he sighed heavily. You felt yourself tremble as his gaze focused on your form, he looked at you differently.
He looked at you the same way Mason had before Cuba, with pity, sadness, and empathy. “Y/n I...I’m so sorry, if I-” “Don’t apologise...” You interrupted, shrugging your shoulders awkwardly “I’m not mad about that. Actually, I am, but that isn’t the main issue”. Adler nodded, trying to regain his composure with a long draw of his cigar. You buried your hands beneath your arms, not wanting the man before you to notice their trembling. Clearing your throat, you averted your gaze back out to sea “Did you want to talk about last night, or did you want to wait for Woods and Mason?” You asked, trying to hide the slight shakiness of your voice.
You heard Adler sigh, “Y/n, I have to call Hudson. He needs to hear everything from us, and he will no doubt want to hear everything from you”.
Your blood turned to ice, a cold shiver running down your spine at his words. Call Hudson? You felt your stomach churn uneasily, you swallowed thickly and nervously. There was no way of telling how Hudson would react, how he would-
“Y/n...” Adler spoke softly, now standing before you with his eyes searching your distant expression for anything. Something that would give him an insight into what was going on in that head of yours. You turned to face him, looking up at him sadly. “You do what you need to do. But I just-”
“I know, I’ll take care of it. You can trust me-”
“Can I? Can I trust you?”
When Adler’s expression fell, you felt a strange sense of guilt consume you. You didn’t mean to be so hesitant toward him, you didn’t mean to be careful with who you trusted. But after everything that had been done to you...after everything that had happened...
You froze as Adler moved to step around you, your body becoming rigid as something warm was draped over your shoulders. It was then that you realised you had been shaking violently, and that Adler had given you his beloved brown leather jacket. You quickly spun around to face him, managing to catch the fleeting smile he gave you. Then you knew.
Adler understood. He understood where you were coming from. That you needed time to trust him again. “Like you said last night...” He began softly, giving you a barely there smile “no more lies, no more bullshit. Take things in your own time, but I want that jacket back, got it?”. With that being said, Adler turned slowly and made his way back inside, leaving you alone on the wooden terrace. When you were sure he was gone, you wrapped Adler’s jacket around your form tightly and collapsed to your knees, crying softly as strange, compassionate feelings overtook your worry, anxiety and guilt.
When you had calmed down, you leaned back against the wooden railing, letting your head rest against the wooden slats as you breathed deeply. You tried to ignore the scent of Adler’s jacket filling your nose, a mixture of old leather combined with cigar smoke and some kind of cologne.
As the sun began to peak through the grey clouds blanketing the islands, you decided that it was best for you to head inside. You still had the matters of last night to discuss, as well as the oh so joyous anticipation of waiting for Hudson to arrive.
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After changing into more comfortable and warmer clothes, you begrudgingly gave Adler back his jacket, giving him a warm smile in thanks before disappearing into the living room. 
Woods and Mason were playing poker with Viktor, and losing horribly. “How the fuck did you manage to get another royal flush?” Woods complained, this his cards down atop the coffee table with an annoyed groan “I swear you’ve rigged the damn thing”. Viktor chuckled, gathering his winnings with a sly wink in your direction as you passed. “When you have played this game for as long as I have, you learn all the tricks of the trade” He responded, as Woods threw his hands out in exasperation.
You watched on from the far wall, grinning as Mason caught your gaze. He waved you over “Hey Y/n, did you want to join us?” He asked, to which you shook you head with an amused scoff. “No thanks, I would like to keep my money-” “Wuss...” Woods teased “I’ll play for you” “No, I’m good thank you, but I appreciate the offer”.
Woods groaned again as Mason laughed, while Viktor practically bled them both dry. Adler emerged from the kitchen, moving to stand by your side. “Adler, lend me some money, I need beat this old man at least once!” Woods exclaimed, gesturing towards Viktor with an extended hand. Adler shook his head “No, I’m not doing that” He replied, glaring at Woods’ obscene gesture thrown in his direction. You chuckled quietly, looking up at the man beside you with a small shrug. “How did you go?” You asked, not liking the way his gaze fell. He huffed “Hudson has a few things to take care of in Washington before he gets here, but he plans on arriving sometime tonight”.
“Well, I guess we can’t really do anything until we inform him of what is going on then?”.
“We can prepare what we are going to say? Combine our knowledge”.
You nodded hesitantly “I really don’t know much. But whatever those soldiers were doing up there is in relation to something called Operation Hyrda”. The entire living room fell silent, as all eyes now focused on you. “Operation Hydra? What the hell is that?” Mason asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion. You sighed “From what I’ve remembered, Operation Hydra is a failsafe for Operation Greenlight. Reading that name back in that bunker triggered something. All I know so far, is that Perseus and I are the only ones who know of the failsafe”.
“And because we brainwashed you, you can’t remember what this Operation Hyrda entails” Adler interrupted, his eyes remaining trained on your smaller form. You nodded as Adler cursed, cringing at his dangerous tone “I’m trying to remember, if that helps-”
“I know you are, we’ll figure it out” Adler spoke distantly, before once again disappearing back into the kitchen. You sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of your nose with a groan. If only you could remember something, even if it was small. Every little detail counted right? A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder, causing you to flinch as your eyes lifted to meet the warm expression of Mason. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up about this...” He soothed “it’s not your fault you can’t remember”.
“I know, but knowing that I’m missing something important is just...” You paused, breathing deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth “I feel so fucking useless”.
“You might feel like that now, but it won’t always be like this...” Woods spoke solemnly from his position on the couch. “Sure, it might take you a while to remember things, but you will get there. Just don’t be so hard on yourself, alright?”. You nodded slowly, allowing his words to sink in. Though Woods did have a point, you couldn’t help but feel like a burden to the team.
As your lips parted to respond, there was a sharp knock at the door. Your head tilted to the side in confusion, your gaze meeting Woods and Masons’ who wore similar expressions. Adler emerged from the kitchen, carefully moving past you and Mason towards the front of the door. You waited anxiously as two voices echoed down into the living room. As footsteps approached, your body became rigid as Adler moved past you to stand on the other side of the room, followed by a woman you knew all too well.
Her midnight hair was slightly longer, but her brown eyes widened upon landing on your form before her expression hardened. All you could do was glare at Park, as she stood in the doorway to the living room.
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libraryleopard · 3 years ago
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genuine question: why does fandom hate calling shatterstar gaveedra? people say it's his slave name but I want comic book citations for that.
This got a bit long, so I stuck it under a cut!
I'd assume largely because it's not the name his friends/teammates/boyfriend call him and therefore people tend to associated it more with Mojoverse, which was a very dehumanizing place for Shatterstar. Keep in mind that I haven't read all of 1991 X-Force which is probably the most relevant comic for this question (because at a certain point I was like "Oh wait, this would probably make more sense if I read New Mutants first" and now I'm in the process of doing that), but let me see if I can pull some comic citations from the notes I took when reading a bunch of Shatterstar's history.
He first appears in New Mutants #100, which is drawn and plotted by Rob Liefield with script/words by Fabian Nicieza, where he introduces himself as Shatterstar, "a blood warrior of the Cadre Alliance." Then, when New Mutants spins off into X-Force with a similar creative team tat the start, he's called Shatterstar there as well, both in dialogue and the little text-box introductions. Characters on X-Force/New Mutants do call him a variety of other things like "Shatty" and and "Star" (and, mostly in Feral's case, things like "pretty boy"), but not Gaveedra-Seven or any variation of that.
Later on in X-Force #39, Prosh (that computer/AI/robot thing X-Force has for a bit), calls Shatterstar "Gaveedra-Seven," which I think is the first use of that name? Cable has a little thought-bubble that says "Gaveedra–huh?" in reaction that, which implies that he's never heard that name before. Then Prosh has to leave because…IDK techno-organic plot-stuff I don't remember right now, so I don't believe that particular comment is really followed up on. (Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention to that stuff other than I think Prosh is some kind of AI ship often associated with Cable.) Future issues of X-Force don't start calling Shatterstar Gaveedra or anything, from what I remember. Rictor, who Shatterstar is closest to at that point, mostly calls him 'Star, which you can see in issues like #43, when they have a pretty vulnerable conversation about sex and romance or issue #59 in which Rictor briefly rejoins the team to help Shatterstar when he's having an existential crisis about the whole Benjamin Russell thing. (Which is very confusing and honestly never resolved in a satisfying way–basically that time the police told Shatterstar he was actually a human runaway named Benjamin Russell and not from Mojoworld at all except then Mojo kidnapped Shatterstar and made him fight and then when he was dying Mojo's sorceress Spyral found Benjamin in a coma in an insane asylum or something and merged their bodies/souls together while saying something cryptic about how she really cares about them both??? It's never resolved beyond that.)
In the 1999 X-Force annual, this is addressed a little bit when Shatterstar gives the name Benjamin Russell at a hotel and explains that he doesn't really know who he is–Gaveedra-7 the genetically modified gladiator or Benjamin Russell the human–and he's trying to respect all possibly versions of himself. (This has way more to do with the Benjamin Russell conundrum but I figured I'd mention it.) Rictor still refers to him as 'Star or Shatterstar in his narration and I think it's more of Fabian Nicieza trying to hand wave the whole Benjamin Russell thing as best he can.
So the general impression I'd get from X-Force (at least what I read of it), is that Shatterstar is what he considers his name, what he introduces himself as, and what people who are close to him or work alongside him call him, with nicknames all being derived from that name. Part of this is, of course, because Shatterstar is just a cooler name for a 90s action hero character than Gaveedra-Seven and I imagine that Shatterstar's initial character concept was probably just Rob Liefeld going "Wouldn't it be sick if there was a reality TV gladiator who had two swords and a cool name."
I don't think a comic has necessarily ever come out and said "Gaveedra-Seven is Shatterstar's slave name," but if it's tied to Shatterstar's time in the Mojoverse, it's not necessarily an unreasonable conclusion to come from. It's clear from both X-Force and the 1985 Longshot miniseries (which is where the idea of the Mojoverse came from), that bipedal humans are dehumanized, enslaved, and treated as essentially cannon fodder for Mojo's entertainment, from gladiators like Shatterstar to stuntmen like Longshot. Over the course of X-Force, you get glimpses into Shatterstar's past and treatment in Mojoworld, like in #34 when he says he had no parents or in X-Force #76 when Mojo says "Shatterstar is still the copyrighted property of Mojoworld Interdimensional Entertainment Incorporated…which means he belongs body and soul to me." So like, yeah, it's not exaggerating to say that Shatterstar was a slave during his time in Mojoworld because it's been established that's how all human-esque people are treated there. (Longshot also doesn't even get that name until he turns up amnesiac on Earth someone dubs him that because of his luck powers and yes I'm ignoring that retcon where Rictor gave it to him because that makes my head hurt.)
I think you can read a lot of Shatterstar's arc as being about finding autonomy and self-understanding, from trying to find a cause to fight for to understanding/experiencing emotions, and I guess that picking the name he goes by could be a part of that. He starts off as a Tough Emotionless Warrior Guy™ who fights for honor and glory, but over the course of X-Force we see him become more emotionally vulnerable and finding a cause to fight for. I've mostly just assumed that Gaveedra-Seven was the name he was first designated in Mojoworld and Shatterstar was maybe more of a name he earned or took on when he became more popular enough to have a distinct persona. The bad guys like Mojo and Arcade call him Shatterstar, but I think it's important to note that it's the name he introduces himself as and what people who are close to him refer to him as, so even if it originated from his time in Mojoworld, he still claims it as his name.
Apparently there's maybe some thing in 90s X-Men comics where a pregnant Dazzler turns up briefly and Longshot mentions they're thinking of name their kid Shatterstar but I haven't actually read that and it also ties into the extremelyyyyyyy confusing parentage paradox. This is because rather than revisiting the Benjamin Russell conundrum, Peter David added a new one by making Shatterstar his own grandfather. (I personally think he did that because the idea that Shatterstar was Dazzler and Longshot's child was something already floating around and he wanted to throw in a twist that people wouldn't see coming, but it bears pointing out that therefore Shatterstar's name is therefore tied to his really confusing backstory that writers basically rewrite at their whim.)
X-Factor Investigations, I think, is when the name Gaveedra-Seven starts being used more regularly for Shatterstar, but that's only in the little character-intro bios from what I remember. I.e. Jamie Madrox's character box at the front of issues would say something like "Multiple Man. Jamie Madrox. Duplication" and Shatterstar's would say something like "Shatterstar. Gaveedra-Seven. Teleportation." I don't think people really call him Gaveedra or any variant of that but admittedly I was skimming a fair amount of that comic because I didn't enjoy it. Rictor still refers to him as Star–for instance, during the conversation, about their relationship issues in the confusingly-numbers X-Factor #207, that's the name he uses. I'm not sure it makes sense to position Gaveedra-Seven as that kind of "real name" because Shatterstar isn't really the kind of character who has a civilian identity like Madrox does, but it's what this comic does in the character introductions.
Tim Seeley's Shatterstar solo series brought back the use of the name Gaveedra because Shatterstar is going by Ben Gaveedra during his time as a landlord. Seeley obviously did some homework on Shatterstar when writing this solo series because he mentions very specific stuff like Rictor introducing Shatterstar to rap music, which was a thing in X-Force, but I found his take on that Shatterstar somewhat puzzling at times. (Like, for instance, introducing an ex of Shatterstar's from his time as a gladiator when that directly contradicts Shatterstar's understanding of sex, romance, and relationships in X-Force.) Tim Seeley just sort of does whatever in that series and I didn't find the execution incredibly strong, so I don't put a ton of weight behind that decision.
The most recent update on the whole name situation was, I believe, in the issue of Excalibur 2019 set at the Hellfire Gala (issue #21, I think? I'm not caught up). When Shatterstar crashes the gala and reunites with Rictor, Rictor calls him "Shatterstar" and then "Gav." I saw panels of that and was a little puzzled by that dialogue, because don't think I remember Rictor ever calling him Gav before.
Rictor and Shatterstar both actually have kind of complicated things around names–like I don't think Rictor's full name being Julio Esteban Richter was actually revealed for some time (he's introduced as Rictor and goes by either that or Ric in most of the older New Mutants or Simonson X-Factor comics I've read) and he's canonically touchy about who gets to call him Julio, which Shatterstar does. So I think the fact that Rictor calls him Shatterstar or Star is telling, because that's coming from someone who knows that what name you call someone can be meaningful.
tldr I think a lot of people refer to Gaveedra-Seven as Shatterstar's "slave name" because a lot of Shatterstar's stories across his publication history have been about escaping Mojoworld and its brainwashing. The fact that he intentionally introduces himself as Shatterstar and is called that (or a variation on that) by people who are close to him does imply that Gaveedra-Seven is a name that he's left behind or rejected even if that's been somewhat inconsistent among recent writers.
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cocobwrites · 4 years ago
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Once Upon A Time in Santa Ana
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Summary:  Once Upon a Time, Angel Reyes knew you and you knew him. Once Upon a Time, Angel Reyes loved you and you loved him. In him, your teenage hopes and dreams found a home, a safe haven. Angel Reyes took your love and spat it back out at you with malice. Once Upon a Time Angel Reyes accepted a tender, fragile love and burned it down. This is the story of a man trying to rekindle his first love from the ashes.
Chapter 1
                                        Ghost Two: Angel 
Angel was unsettled, unnerved and on edge. There were too many ghosts here. The weight of his past decisions was heavy on his conscience. The streets he rode down lead to memories of emotional crimes he’d sooner forget, and the clubhouse felt like it had the potential to morph into his own personal insane asylum. 
“Angel!” The man being shouted at turned to the sound of the voice. This was the second time today that he’d been slapped in the face by a ghost of his past. The first was by his own doing. Angel knew without a doubt that walking into that convenience store was inviting hurt that he wasn’t 100% sure he could deal with, but the temptation of possibly being so close to you and not attempting to see you was too much. 
In front of him now was ghost number 2, Shania. Shania was the perceived catalyst in Angel’s love story. The cousin/best friend to the girl he first gave his heart to. The devil on his love’s shoulder egging her on to do what she desired most and covering for her disappearance acts. 
The last time Angel saw Shania she was just on the brink of womanhood. At 18 her face still held a girlish charm while her body was blossoming into full adulthood. Looking at her now the transition was complete. Her once rounded cheeks were still full but defined. Her eyes told a story of secrets that came with being grown, and her hips swayed in a way that marked her confidence. In short, Shania had finished growing up. Her hair hung in long coils hitting her waist. They were dyed a bright red and highlighted a lighter red that held a pink tone.  The colors complimented her sepia-toned skin. 
Shania threw her arms around Angel’s neck and pulled him tight swaying back and forth. Angel needed the hug. He needed the affirmation that he hadn’t burned every bridge he built while he was here all those summers ago. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath absorbing the warmth and comfort Shania offered.
“Damn, it’s been a long time,” Shania said while letting go. She smiled up at her former friend. “You forget how a phone works?” She asked following it up with a slap to his arm. “I’m mad at you Angel. Just dipped out without a goodbye and then went ghost. “ These fools” she pointed a thumb in the general direction of the members “treat information about other chapters like they’re in the CIA.” she shook her head.
“How have you been?” Shania finished with a bright smile waiting to hear about how things had been with Angel. 
Angel in return just ran a hand down his face and answered with a short “Shit” followed by a shrug of uncertainty. “I mean good I guess.” He raised his hand palm up and rolled his fingers outward in a questioning gesture. “Just doing club shit.”
Shania’s brow creased and her smile dropped, the face she was currently sporting was eerily reminiscent of her uncle. Angel was sure it was a family trait. “Wow, that was a really insightful look into what life has been like for the last'' she waved her hand “however long.”
Angel laughed, appreciating the blunt but humorous honesty. “Do you want a drink, Angel?” Shania asked and looked over her shoulder apparently feeling EZ approach. 
“Shania, this is my brother EZ. EZ, this is Shania. Shooter’s daughter.” Angel watched EZ stick his hand out and give a half-smile. Shania accepted it and gave it one firm shake. She didn’t let go though. Instead, she turned back to Angel and said “So, is the whole family fine, or were the genes reserved for just y’all?’ She finished what a laugh that mixed with Angels and was accompanied by EZ’s own chuckle. 
“I’m going to grab you a drink.” She finished with a wink and went to do just that. 
EZ stepped up to Angel and watched the girl walk away. “So, that’s Shooter’s daughter meaning she’s the cousin to the unnamed girl.”
Angel knew EZ had said you were unnamed for the sole purpose to get him talking. “She’s not unnamed” Angel answered back not without irritation. 
“Then what’s her name?”  Asked EZ angling himself towards his older brother.
Angel supplied your name. “Look, man, I don’t really want to get into this right now. Just let it alone for a bit EZ.” 
Angel stalked off towards Shania meeting her half-way to get his drink. In truth Angel really didn’t want to get into the nitty-gritty about you but he knew he had to. EZ was at a disadvantage not knowing the truth of how Angel left. There were old wounds here that he wasn’t sure fully healed. If judging by how your father reacted and how Shooter was treating him he’d have to say they were very much still open and sore. Why though? That was something that he was hoping to ply information from Shania. 
She handed Angel an open bottle of beer and clinked her own to his before taking a sip. She turned to the side so she was facing him and leaned against an unoccupied pool table.  Angel muttered a thank you and then mimicked her pose. 
Shania took a breath as if to say something, but stopped having changed her mind, and instead took a sip of her beer. 
“Does she know I’m here?” Angel asked deciding to just cut to the chase. “Hell, is she even still here?”
Shania just looked at him for a moment before answering. “Are you being serious right now? You sure you want to open that can of worms?” She huffed and shook her head. Shania set her bottle down on the green of the table and folded her arms over her chest. “Angel, I’m going, to be honest with you.” She paused again. It seemed she was unsure if she wanted to say what she was thinking, but her lips tightened for just a moment and she continued on. 
“You fucked up bad when you left here like you did. At least you gave the appearance that you did.” Her eyes narrowed briefly while she looked Angel over. “I’m willing to forgive and forget. It’s been a long ass time and it’s clear that y’all haven’t had any form of contact. My daddy and uncle on the other hand….” She trailed off. 
“My daddy won’t say anything since it didn’t involve the club, but I’d step lightly around him. Also-” she poked his arm. “Keep yo tail away from my uncle. That man has been itching to beat you down for years. He’s old but he’s quick and trust me, he hits hard.”
“Now do you really want to know the answers to those questions?” She shook her head. “Don’t go pickin’ at scabs unless you’re ready to treat the cut.”
 “I hear you, Shania. I do forreal” Angel paused “and if you don’t think it’s good for her to know I’m here, don’t tell her. I just have to know. Is she still here?” Angel tried to keep the desperation out of his voice but was failing. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about you, but as of late he felt like he was spiraling. There was a need to feel something genuine and untainted again. Something was telling him he could do that with you.
Shania nodded along and listened. “Yeah, she’s still here.”She said casually while pulling her phone out. “Well, more like here again. She moved back home a few years ago.” She continued while apparently responding to a text on her phone. 
“As far as her knowing if you’re back-” She paused again and Angel heard the distinctive single vibration of her phone. Shania nodded in satisfaction. “Put your number in here.” She handed Angel the phone. “I want to be able to get in touch with you again.”
Angel did as directed more focused on if Shania was going to tell follow through and tell you. Shania, for her part, took the phone back and continued to tap away. “She knows now and I gave her your number.” She then pushed off the table and took a swig of her drink while walking away. Angel watched her pocket the phone and felt his stomach drop, rise up in an attempt to lodge in his throat before finally filling with moths. There were no butterflies here. Butterflies were reserved for happy reunions that would be filled with smiles and warm hugs. 
In the time he’d been back Angel had been met primarily with cold acceptance or outright hostility save for Shania. He didn’t know what he’d get with you. He didn’t know if he’d get anything from you. As badly as Angel wanted this reunion he was scared to death of it. 
He’d been reminded multiple times since getting back to Santa Ana that his departure had been less than ideal. From what he was gathering, the ripples of his decisions went farther than he thought they would. Angel huffed to himself and raised his bottle to down the rest. 
When his eyes closed he saw your face; confused and tear-streaked, a silent question on your lips “Why?” He wasn’t sure if what he was remembering was the true sound of your voice or just what he imagined it. While everyone was worried about protecting you they were ignoring the vulnerability Angel was submitting himself to. 
Was your relationship as good as he remembered? Had he taken only the best highlights of it and committed them to memory, leaving all the mess to be forgotten? That was the scary thing about memories. You could never be sure if what you were recalling was the truth or the romanticized version used to get through melancholy.
Angel looked to the now empty bottle and just stared at the label, not really seeing it. Instead is mind was playing that moment on a loop. “Why?” The memory version continued to ask and never getting a true answer. “Because I could” Angel found himself whispering the implied response. 
You had his number. That knowledge left his phone feeling like a boulder in his pocket. Would you use it? Would you let this be content with never having a true resolution? If you did use it would you come at him like your pops? Would you give him a cold welcome like your uncle or would he have you back? Could he take a stroll down memory lane and make you smile like you used to? Would he get to hear that melodic laugh again? Would Angel get a chance at redemption?
Angel eased a long sigh and let the hand holding the bottle fall to his side. He took strides towards the bar looking for another drink and felt the weight of two pairs of eyes on him. A quick glance confirmed they belonged to EZ, observant as usual, and Shania, scrutinizing and assessing. It was going to be a long weekend.
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