#i genuinely did know each and every answer to that exam but me in that state could Not comprehend any of it

[crescentmp3]

my head hurts from listening to music but if i dont have some outer stimulation i'll explode

[ao3-rex1223]

𝓣𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼

Pairing: Professor Leon x Fem Reader

Tags: Lactation kink, breeding kink, p in v, creampie, orgasms, Leon being dominant but also soft, Leon being a dad.

Summary: You and Leon have a six months old daughter. Winter break at the university is just starting and Leon discovers how much he likes your milk...

“More applesauce, sweetie?” You coo to your six month old daughter, Danielle. You carefully guide the little baby spoon to her mouth. She greedily opens wide for more delicious food. “Such a good eater!” you praise, nuzzling her little forehead. “Mommy is so proud of you, Dani.” You continue feeding her as you sit in the university cafeteria, glad that winter break is starting. 

“There’s my girls,” Leon purrs as he approaches. He drops a loving kiss to Dani’s head - she giggles and smiles - then kisses your lips, his mouth lingering for a moment. “Hey there, baby.”

“Hey,” you reply, your cheeks flushing as they always do when he kisses you. “How was class?”

He smirks. “Oh, you know, teaching students to think critically and use their head…it’s a tough job but someone has to do it.”

“Tell me you’re going easy on them, at least,” you reply while scooping another tiny spoonful of applesauce. Dani eagerly watches as it nears her hungry mouth. 

“I can’t. I swear, the average exam scores get lower and lower every semester.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. When you were his student, he seemed mean and unapproachable, but now you can tell he genuinely wants his students to learn, even if he is a little rough around the edges. Of course, when you were his student, you only aced his class because you let him fuck you over and over in his office. But one thing led to another and now you are the mother to his daughter.

“Aww,” you reply with a teasing expression. “No extra credit for your class this semester?” Your eyes burn with a sensual heat as you gaze at him. 

He smirks wickedly and kisses your neck. “Only for my favorite student,” he retorts with a gruff chuckle. You giggle as his warm breath tickles your skin, an adorable laugh that mirrors your little daughter. 

Your intimate moment is interrupted by a plucky, young female student clearing her throat. “Um, Professor Kennedy…Could I have a word-”

Leon cuts her off. “Ms. Jones, you may send me an email and I will answer it on my next working day, or you can visit me during office hours. What you may not do is intrude when I am out of my office while I am tending to my girlfriend and our daughter,” he reprimands gently but firmly. 

The young student blushes and nods, then quickly turns to run away. You smirk and gently smack Leon’s shoulder. “You didn’t need to be so harsh, Leon.”

Leon steals a kiss from you before he answers. “Yes, I did. I’m clearly spending time with my family. I will not be interrupted.” 

You give him one last disapproving glance before returning to feed your daughter. 

After lunch, you both head home to give your daughter a nap. You each press a featherlight kiss to her forehead, then quietly exit and close the door. Leon gives you a sultry look, lifting you into his arms and carrying you to the bedroom. He lays you on the bed and crawls over you, supporting himself with one arm and traversing your curves with the other. You reward his sensual ministrations with soft moans and whimpers, wordlessly begging for more. 

“My girl, always so needy for her professor’s cock,” Leon coos, still playfully referring to himself as merely your educator and you just his pupil, as he occasionally does during your more intimate moments. His hardening member begins pressing against your hip over your clothes, causing your cunt to stir. Creamy slick leaks into your panties, making the thin cotton fabric stick to your folds. His hand slides up underneath your shirt, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

As he inches under your bra, he massages your swollen breast and tweaks your nipple. When he feels a few drops of milk, he freezes, his cock hardening even further. “Baby,” he purrs, roughly pulling your top off and ridding you of your bra just as fast. He attacks your neck with a wet kiss, sucking and groaning. He works his lips down; his target: your leaking breasts. His lips pepper kisses up one of your plush mounds then finally take your nipple inside his mouth. He moans appreciatively, sucking and drinking your milk - now free flowing. His hand cups your breast, squeezing gently as if to keep the flow strong. “Mmm, you taste amazing baby girl. Why is this the first time I’ve drank from your perfect tits!?” He smirks wide and returns to his feast like a man starved. Determined to bring you to euphoria with him, he slips a hand under your panties and rubs your slick folds. 

Your soft moans fill the air like music serenading him while he devours you. The combination of his mouth sucking firmly on your tits and his fingers rubbing your cunt is nearly burning you up. “Ohhhh…Leon…”

With a growl, he pulls his mouth off your tit with a pop, licking his lips as he looks into your eyes. “Hands and knees, sweetheart,” he commands gruffly and, without waiting for you, grabs your hips and flips you over, then pulls your ass in the air. It all happens so fast, you’re nearly dizzy from the transition. The erotic sound of his belt buckle being undone and his zipper sliding down drives more slick to gush from your cunt. You clutch your pillow, eagerly awaiting the feel of your lover inside you. He shoves your skirt up and pulls your panties to one side. 

Finally, the heavenly stretch of your walls around his cock floods your senses, a cavalcade of pleasure surrounding your body. He wraps his hands around your plush hips, still holding onto some baby weight. “You’re so fucking perfect,” Leon purrs. “Think I might have to breed this pussy again. Give Danielle a little brother or sister. Whad’ya say, baby?”

Your answer is a guttural moan as he drives his cock deep into your soft pussy, grinding against your g-spot. Your milky tits rub on the blanket beneath you, your sensitive nipples sending sparks all over. 

Leon’s pace increases, thrusting into you harder and faster. He reaches around to stroke your clit, smearing your slippery essence all around your cunt. “Cum for me, my good little slut,” he commands. 

His dirty words and pressure on your clit are enough to send you over the edge. You rock your hips back hard, taking his cock deep as your walls tighten around him like a vice. You bury your face in your pillow and cry out, not wanting to be too loud and wake your daughter. Seconds later, a punched out groan leaves Leon’s throat as he cums inside you. He collapses on the bed next to you, pulling you securely in his arms while he softly strokes your hair. “God, I fucking love you so much, baby,” he coos. 

After lying together for a while, you hear Danielle’s cries through the baby monitor. Leon kisses your forehead. “You rest, sweetheart. I got it. Barely got to see my little princess at all, today.” He rises from the bed, dresses quickly, then pads down to the nursery to spend time with his precious daughter. Meanwhile, you drift off to sleep into a light nap. 

[simpingforthemm]

the garcia brothers

words: like 1.7k

summary: basically a similar scenario to the whole "Cole x Jackie x Alex" thingy but with u and the Garcia brothers

a/n: sorry for not posting on here in a while. I wrote this little thing to get into fanfic writing again and will get to the other requests soon <3 probably will make this a series if I feel inspired enough

You were sitting in the cafeteria with Lee, your best friend, poking at your food, absolutely not hungry after having seen that revolting documentary on the holocaust in history lesson.

“God, I wish I could erase the last 90 minutes out of my memory so I could at least keep some of this food down and not starve for the rest of the day”, you groaned, shoving a fry in your mouth.

“Same”, Lee sighed. “That Nazi shit is seriously messed up. Honestly, I think I heard Olivia sobbing in the back row or something when the teacher named the number of the children murdered in the second world war.”

You raised your eyebrows. "Damn. Understandable though. It's so inhumane.”

Lee nodded. You noticed someone sitting down next to you and putting their arm around your shoulder. “What are we talking about guys?”, an all too familiar voice asked. Isaac Garcia, the brother of your best friend, who you shared a lot of your classes with, including history. “Just the pleasantries of that history lesson”, you said as he snatched some of your fries.

“I’m amazed at your ability to still eat after that horrifying documentary.”, you admitted, watching as he stuffed his mouth with the fried potato sticks, visibly hungry, his arm still securely around you. You didn't mind sharing your food and you often did so with Isaac. He would offer you gum when he had a pack, you would bring a second fork for him when you got lunch and you almost always shared your energy drinks and snacks. You didn't know the particular reason for why you both did this except for that the two of you loved food and that you liked eating in class / eating snacks so you could focus better.

“That's only one of my many talents, dear miss Y/L/N”, he said, smirking at you and giving you a little wink. “Besides, I love fries.”

You just rolled your eyes a little, knowing that Isaac basically had every girl that crossed his path swooning over him and he even flirted with you, his brother's girl best friend. Yeah, you shared your food and were pretty friendly with each other but you still were kind of annoyed about how he was such a ladies' man.

“Sure”, you just said, freeing yourself from his arm, catching Isaac frowning in the corner of your eye.

“Okay Isaac, how ‘bout you leave me and my best friend alone and go mind your business with all of those cheerleaders waiting on you.”, Lee said, pointing over to a table overcrowded with a bunch of girls from the cheerleading squad, some of them looking over to your table, probably wondering what was keeping Isaac there.

Lee seemed overly annoyed with his brother. Chill Lee, you thought to yourself. You actually kinda liked Isaac (not that you’d ever tell Lee that) and you didn't get why your best friend was acting all hostile. Sure, Isaac was annoying at times but he didn't exaggerate it. But of course, you were on your best friend’s side. “No need to get possessive, I’m already going”, he said, getting up from his chair.

He frowned as he noticed your sort of tense expression.“You seem tense, everything all right?”, he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. He was right, you had been tense. Exam stress, pressure to succeed, getting good grades and then your parents fighting. You were struggling. But Isaac didn't have to know that. “Okay Isaac, just go”, Lee groaned before you could answer the other Garcia's question.

“Already going, jeez bro. See you later, Y/N.”, he smirked, ruffling your hair. Ugh.

Relieved about him going back to his own table and Lee being able to go back to his normal self, you leaned back into your chair. “I’m so sorry about my brother Y/N”, Lee apologized, rolling his eyes. “I know he can be a lot sometimes.”

“It's fine”, you assured him, not knowing why he was always so cold and hostile whenever the three of you were together. When you watched Lee and Isaac hanging out together, without you, everything seemed just fine and they were laughing and having fun together, like normal brothers. This was the same for when you and Lee hung out just the two of you, everything seemed completely normal and fine. But when it was you, Lee and Isaac, he acted so strange. He was bitchy and rude to his brother, usually without reason. He always acted like Isaac was this horrible person that you couldn't be associated with. You thought that maybe he couldn't stand the thought of you and Isaac being friends? Maybe he hated how physical Isaac could be? You didn't know, but you were determined to find out.

After school, you and Lee decided to hang out and get ice cream. A lot of people thought that you and Lee might be a couple since the two of you were so close. It was true, you liked Lee a lot. Maybe you had had a crush on him for a little while when the two of you first met. But that was a long time ago and the two of you were now simply best friends. You thought so at least. Still, you couldn't help thinking he was cute when he attempted to speak French in class (which he surprisingly was horrible at) or when he geeked out about some new skateboarding equipment or tricks he wanted to try. Of course, you would never tell him that.

“Y/N, can I ask you something?”, Lee suddenly blurted out. The two of you were standing in line at the ice cream shop, waiting for your turn. You were slightly standing on your tip-toes, trying to get a look on all the flavors available so you could already decide on what you wanted beforehand.

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”, you said casually, standing normally again and turning to look at him.

Lee looked down at his shoes, seemingly embarrassed. You frowned, didn't he know he could ask you anything? You were now getting impatient and nervous. Why was he stalling?

“Oh, come on, Lee. You're driving me crazy. Spit it out!”

“Do you like Isaac?”

Your eyes widened and you gulped. So much for obvious. But you didn't like him. At least not like Lee probably meant in this moment. Okay, maybe you thought he was hot and funny, but he was obnoxious. He was always bothering you, in class, outside of class, at the Walters’ House. Just last week, he threw you in the pool, then at a party he randomly asked you if you wanted to play beer pong with him. With you, out of all people? You, the unpopular nerd. Then there were other incidents like when your grade was called to the assembly hall for some informative presentation on future college opportunities and Isaac just randomly sat down next to you. And besides all that weirdness from his side, he made your best friend in the whole world angry and tense. You didn't like that.

You decided to go for the shocked and surprised answer. “What! Lee! Why would you think that??”

“I don't know”, he shrugged, his expression blank. “You just always seem to laugh more when he's around and you don't really seem to mind whenever he flirts with you.”

“Flirts with me? Lee, I don't know what you're talking abou-”

“Oh please Y/N”, Lee scoffed. “Don't act like you're blind. He always flirts with you. Just today in the cafeteria, he put his arm around you. Do you know how weird that is for me? Jesus, he's my brother, Y/N.” Lee looked disgusted as he turned away from you. You didn't know his feelings were this intense.

“Lee, of course I don't like him. But you know how Isaac is, he’s always flirting with every girl that's in his eyesight. I don't think he's taken special interest in me. And besides, we wouldn't even fit together, you know how different we are.”

That seemed to calm Lee down as his expression softened and he sighed, nodding.

"Sorry for overreacting. You're right."

You didn't know why he was so against you even slightly taking an interest in his brother and why he was so disgusted at even the idea of you getting closer to him. But you figured the two of you weren't really in a position to talk about that.

Later that day, you were sitting on your bed, listening to music and doing homework when your phone made that vibrating sound to tell you you had a new message. You frowned slightly, checking who would text you at this time. It certainly wouldn't be Lee, as right now he’d probably be outside with his cousins, teaching Parker how to skateboard or something. Instead it was an unknown number.

The message just said: “hi y/n”.

You texted back pretty quickly out of curiosity. "Who's this?”

Another message appeared within seconds, making your heart drop. “Isaac. I got your number from Jackie, hope that's ok”

Jesus, why would he be texting you? This was the last thing you needed rn. And now you seriously didn't know what to text back.

“Okaay, why did you ask for my number tho”, you typed.

“idk cuz I think ur cool”

Fuck. Why’d he say something like that?

“okay.. I don't think lee doesn't like us talking tho"

You were panicky now. Lee definitely couldn't find out about this. He'd be so mad.

“he needs to chill out”

Was he seriously saying this rn? Didn't he know Lee had no chill whenever it came to you?

You were staring at your phone for a while, waiting for him to say something else, but when he didn't, you just typed back:

“srry but did you want anything else? I got homework to do”

“we should hang out outside of class sometime”

“we really shouldn't”, you texted back, even though you did kind of want to. But you couldn't. Not when Lee was so against the idea of you being closer to his brother. You couldn't do that to your best friend.

“Come onn y/n just for like an hour or so. pretty plsss”

He kept spamming you with messages the next minutes which really annoyed you so just to shut him up you replied: “fine but istg if lee finds out you’re done for”

“yes ma’am 🧎‍♂️”

God. What had you gotten yourself into??

[beemovieerotica]

Learning g you went to Catholic school explains so much actually. Also what the fuck was wrong with your psych teacher

he was genuinely a really cool guy, like for all the clownery he was a deeply compassionate person and I know that sounds SO wild after talking about him bloodily faking his death in front of his students lmao

I was getting lowkey bullied in one of his classes - there was a girl who sat next to me who would do shit like mime punching the back of my head whenever my back was turned to get laughs out of other kids. the teacher got her to stop without me saying anything or risking physical escalation - fucking difficult to do if you know the type of personality involved here. one time later though she straight up took an exam I just got back and started copying the answers off it since she had to do a make-up test. I was like. Ok. This could be bad for me. zero tolerance college prep school where I could be expelled for "providing answers"

I ended up going to the teacher and being like "hey...is the make-up test that some people have to do going to be the exact same questions?" and he's like "...why are you asking this?"

ended up dancing around the point for a while until it clicked for him and he's like oh. ok, is this about ____? I didn't say anything and he just kind of looked at me and went "ok I'll handle it."

he ended up staging this big talk with each and every one of his classes. he went on a rant about a "recent uptick in cheating" and during each talk he said "and I'm not doing this just for this class. I'm doing this because I saw [x y z] happen in my other period" and I know I said the man couldn't convincingly fake his own death, but he sold it to us, and the dumbass bully bought it and then laid low until the semester ended and I was out of there, and I didn't get penalized for her behavior

he did a lot to try to reach out to me when I was going through the trenches of being a high school closeted queer. he lent me CDs when I said I liked certain types of music and would always try to strike up conversation. I miss him lol

[specific-dreamer]

c'mon and take my heart, take your love conquer every part, cause im lonely and im blue (c'mon and rescue me)

Summary: If someone asks, Darry would say spring is his favorite time of year. Because Darry's always liked watching the sunset with Paul at his side Or, Paul and Darry skip school and go for a drive. On this drive, Darry realizes something. Note: im meant to be studying for my exams but alas. my cherrybomb fic is gonna be next, i think ! im most excited about that tbh. anyways here's the ao3 !! it's 2.2k words (for some fucking reason) so i wont link it all but here's a lil short part that also incidentally, my favorite part ! enjoy ! <3

There are many oak trees in Oklahoma, let alone in Tulsa. But there’s something about this specific tree that calls them. Calms them, even. It’s this tree that they’ve bared their secrets to each other. Told parts of themselves that they’ve otherwise never shared with anyone. 

This is the tree where Darry tells Paul every annoying thing his brothers did that week, and he jokingly wishes he were an only child again. 

“No, you don’t,” Paul rolls his eyes with a scoff and gently pushes Darry’s shoulders. “You’d die without them.”

Darry gasps indignantly and makes a face. “I would not! What does that even mean? What are you trying to say, Holden?”

“I’m saying, Curtis , that you love those kids more than life itself. You can hardly go five minutes without bringing them up,” Paul says all this with a smile on his face that, later on, Darry would realize wasn’t entirely genuine. 

In the meantime, Darry scoffs again. “I can, too!”

“Prove it.”

“How the hell am I meant to do that?”

“Tell me what you did this month without bringing up your brothers,” Paul says. It’ll be a struggle. Darry knows it, but he can do this. 

“Fine. Let me think. I mailed one of my scholarship applications and sharpened my spikes because Two-Bit said that his mom told him that if you can’t cut yourself on your spikes, then what good will you be on the field? And she was right! I tried my cleats on after, and I ran so much faster, Paul. What else… Oh!” Darry talks a lot. He knows this; he’s looking out over the fields, and as he gets going, he can hardly recall why he started sharing about his month to begin with. “Oh, y’know how last week was my folks’ anniversary?”

“Mhm.”

“I told my dad not to worry about us and that I would watch the boys so he could take my mom out. My littlest, Ponyboy, he, of course, decided that night would be the perfect night to learn how to cook. Except he’s so scatterbrained, we never let him do anything. Paul,” he turns halfway around to grip Paul’s shoulders throughout this rant. He needs to know how serious Darry was about to get. “He damn near chopped his finger off. There was blood everywhere, and all this motherfucker said to me was, “Darry, I need a bandaid. I think I cut my finger.” yeah, no shit, you cut yourself, you great big oaf,” he repeats Ponyboy’s words in a high pitched imitation of his voice. 

“Anyways, then my firstborn, you know Sodapop, he just ran out of the house. Who even does that?” He asks, still looking at Paul.

Instead of answering, Paul smirks at Darry and raises his eyebrow. “Three minutes.”

“Sorry?”

“You lasted three minutes without bringing up your brothers.”

[blondedmuse]

DELIRIOUS

part ii of pure heroin.

finnick odair x reader

synopsis. ꩜ your days seem to blur together but Finnick makes time still—at least for a night.

author's note. ∿ I am so sorry about the delay for this chapter. I have exams in two weeks so I have a bunch of studying to do up till then, so I can't promise the next chapter will be on time either...angst warning but again I think that's warranted for like all chapters

word count. ⨾ 2.5k

"You don't understand, he's anything but a darling, I'm telling you!" You complained to Cinna, standing on one of his podiums as he measured whatever part of your frame he needed to. Cinna was your stylist, and one of the few people you could call a friend. Cinna was assigned to you in your games, who you quickly bonded with. He was kind, understanding, humorous, and above all, a great stylist. He was easy to get along with, generous and genuinely funny. Funny in the way where he made your stomach hurt and your eyes tear up, missing the dry, clammed up humor that every capitol citizen used as conversation filler.

"I mean the rumors about his eyes are true, they're like angels. But his heart-"

"Is cold?"

You furrow your eyebrows. "You've met Finnick?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "No."

"Funny," You replied, your lips pressed into a line.

Truth be told, you didn't have to react the way you did. While your watch held much more sentiment than anyone else but you would ever know, it's not like he stepped on it himself. But that was the effect morphling had on you. It made you ecstatic yet absolutely miserable. The euphoria in your veins was ephemeral, the vile that poisioned you was everlasting. Like any other victor, you needed morphling after a while. The highs were sky-scraping and the lows were hell. And when you ran into Finnick, you just happened to be in the comedown, about to crash.

But before its repercussions could take their effect, you took whatever nose candy you could find in your bag, sedating you into stability—at least for a little bit.

"I'm thinking gold." Cinna suggested, shuffling through the pages of his notebook.

"Didn't we do gold for the last dress?" You asked, your memory hazy.

"Silver," He answered. You opened your mouth about to spit a witty retort but Cinna stopped you before you could get the words out your throat.

"And don't try to tell me they're the same thing," He joked.

You didn't say anything, you only raised your eyebrows, your lips turned upward in a cheeky smile.

"You wound me."

"You love me," You tease.

He laughs. "Don't be so sure. Anyways, come look at this," He invites you over and you stepped down from the podium, walking over to the mannequin where your mock dress laid.

"I was thinking a sheath silhouette with cutouts on either ribs, bejeweled chains covering the missing material while connecting the fabric, as well as a harness and strap for the dress. The sleeves would reach your elbow, draping over your arms with a likeness to a cape."

You sighed. "Anything else?"

He smiled. "It's an open back." And you returned it.

"You do love me."

"Only the best for my favorite victor."

Cinna stayed true to his sentiments. Unlike the other stylists you’ve had, he made sure you looked beyond beautiful, used nothing less than high end textiles, and above all else: he made sure you were comfortable.

While the banquet was two weeks away, you were already apprehensive and beginning your disdain. Your dress, however, was one less thing to worry about.

Time passed strangely when you visited the Capitol. The two weeks you dreaded felt like days as they seemed to blur together. Everyday was the same like routine.

You’d begin each day irritable, your body aching in bed sheets that weren’t yours, left with remnants of the night before. You’d spend a day with your given lover, go out and make appearences, do whatever the wealthy citizens of the Capitol did in their free time. When the sun set into the same crevice it rose from only hours before and the night sky set in, you were free to let loose, have some fun. You lit yourself on fire, the substance that flowed through your body was all the same; only some longer lasting than others. But in the end it was all evanescent.

You’d end up in the bed of your client, lover, whatever name you’d decided to use for the night—and it was fun. You felt good. You could go as far to call it Pure Heroin. But like any other drug it was fleeting and momentary, and when it had run it’s course you were left empty and sustaining withdrawal.

The night of the banquet arrived quicker than planned and unlike the regime you’ve involuntarily created for yourself, you felt as though you were having anything but fun.

You looked like it though. Your look for the night lived up to the expectations of luxury as you plastered a smile on your face. You looked like you were having the night of your life.

Despite the lengthy list of victors and elitists, all eyes were on you once you arrived, and they never really left; briefly catching stolen glances and lingering glares.

Each step of yours left an echo that never went unnoticed as you made your way to your seat, especially by the blonde haired boy you’d ran into weeks before. He watched as your face twisted slightly once you’d noticed your seat was assigned next to his and how your expression immediately changed when someone had started to spark a conversation with you.

He watched and he wondered what was under the surface of the spectacle that was you he observed from a far.

Were you having a bad day when he’d run into you or were you just that ill-mannered, just that presumptuous? And if so? He wanted to see how much—how nasty he could get you, how much he could rile you up in return for last time.

You were talking with another guest when you felt a presence behind you.

“God, sweetheart, that’s an interesting getup.” You turned around, having to abstain from rolling your eyes. Once your gaze met Finnick’s, his lips turned up in a wicked smile you knew meant something more.

His gaze shifted to the person you were talking to. “Doesn’t she look-”

“Irresistible? Indeed she does! I’ve practically had my eyes on her all night.” They beamed, clearly knowing where their passions lie.

Finnick laughed. “Sure. Irresistible.”

He was insincere with his words, you knew that, but the way they sounded when they left his lips left something indescribable in your stomach. You had no time to dwell on it, as seconds later everyone had begun to take their seat, the banquet beginning in its own time.

You sat in yours, placing the until napkin in your lap, and you thought you could prepare for a nice night. As mush as you disliked the Capitol and its extravagance, you couldn't help but entertain it. And you were sure Finnick wouldn't mind ignoring you. You'd think it'd be polite.

A guest across from you whose name you learned to be Aurelia asked you to tell the table a story, because of course, such a fascinating victor such as you would have so many. And right as you were about to speak, you heard it; the smooth and silvery, yet self-righteous voice beside you.

"Actually, I might have something up my sleeve," He interrupted and everyone at the table turned to him. The table was small, no more than eight people, so he could captivate everyone—even you. You noted the smug smirk on his face you wondered was invisible to everyone else. Maybe you were past politeness.

Aurelia urged him to tell his story while her question towards you was left in the dust. And with each question directed towards you, it managed to stay that way. He'd find someway to steal the spotlight and make the show his.

The conversation had drifted in many directions, now ending up in a comparison between a few districts and the Capitol. And eventually, someone at the table found their interest in you again.

"Which do you like better, District one or the Capitol?"

This was a question you knew Finnick couldn't answer because he'd never been. At least you'd assume so. While you wish the question had more substance to it, it gave you a moment to engage with the others at the table if you were going to have to sit here for how much longer.

"I think-"

The sound of a utensil clanging against a wine glass interrupted you like Finnick had been doing all night. You found it amusing how frustrating this night has been and apparently Finnick did too, hearing him chuckle beside you.

You didn't hear it for much longer as the politician who was hosting the banquet—whose name you couldn't even try to remember—had begun a toast. His voice was underwater as you drowned his words out, still smiling as if you resonated with each one.

"And to our lovely victors that could be with us here tonight."

You raised your glass along with the others, clanking them together like second-hand nature. Before you could toss your drink back, letting bubbles of champagne burn your throat, you watched it spill from Finnick's flute on to your dress.

For the first time this night the attention could be yours, yet you were too appalled to say anything, only grabbing your clutch and excusing yourself to the bathroom.

You were glad it was empty, free to clean your dress without forged sympathy. You were able to let your emotions go, unfiltered and unsheltered no longer under the viewing pleasure of others.

You were sure you went through at least a roll of paper towels before you heard the bathroom door open, not daring to look up until you were done wiping your dress for what you hoped would be the last time. Once you did look up however, your frustration turned to indignation as Finnick Odair leaned against the door while his face read with concern.

"What is your problem?"

He smiled. "I thought you left.” And it dropped. “Guess not."

You wanted to scrutinize him, you really did. But you held your tongue, deciding to have some humility.

"What?" He cocked his head to the side. "Is your head hollow?" You admit his words only added insult to injury but they sounded better coming from his mouth. You hated it. So, you turned back to your reflection in the mirror, opening your clutch to dig for something you knew would pacify the animosity.

Finnick stood at the door way, watching, like he did earlier that night. Only now he was confused at your apathy and how you seemed to ignore him so easily. There was something so engrossing about you in the way that you treated him. You weren't friends, but you didn't throw yourself at him, treating him like a piece of meat the way everyone else seemed to do.

Lost in thought he hardly missed the small bag of narcotic you pulled from your clutch that he was all too familiar with. And in that moment, he wanted to make sure the white dust stayed in its bag—at least for tonight.

"You know, I think I owe you an apology." He spoke and you craned your head to face him.

You raised your brows. "You think?"

"I know," He admitted, stepping towards you.

"Who would've thought you knew anything?" You retorted, fully facing him now and you could see his dimples form just like they did the first time you met him. Only this time it wasn't sarcasm, maybe something more genuine.

"Well I know a few things," He replied. "I know I'm definitely sorry for spilling champagne on this beautiful dress."

You crossed your arms, holding back a smile. "You should be. It's still wet."

"Maybe some fresh air would dry it?"

You narrowed your eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

"Come with me," He proposed, holding out his hand. "I know you don't wanna go back in there. Not with your dress still damp."

"Which is your fault, by the way," You reminded him.

"I know and I'm sorry. Again," He apologized once again, still offering his hand out to you.

"Alright let's go," You accepted his offer but not his hand, grabbing your clutch from the counter and walking ahead of him. Finnick followed suit but before he left he grabbed the bag of coke from the counter and pocketed it, making a mental reminder to trash it later.

"Where to?" You asked. The two of you were out of the bathroom now, roaming the halls of some Capitol building.

"You'll see," He replied, wary of his surroundings.

"You're not trying to kill me right?" You joked and Finnick stopped in his steps once he reached a grand staircase.

"Worse," He answered. "I'm trying to help you."

You furrowed your brows as he grabbed the small train of your dress, lifting it so that you could walk up the stairs without tripping over yourself. A staircase and another long hallway later, you found yourself on the top terrace of the building. The view was breathtaking and the tranquility was a stark contrast to the commotion of celebration.

You walked to the edge and leaned on the balcony so much so you almost wanted to fall off. Not so much that it was a liability, but in the way you wanted to fully immerse yourself in the scenery, forget about everything else and focus on the green of the trees or how the streets looked under the moonlight.

"I'm not gonna fall off," You told him before his warning could ever be expressed.

"I- I didn't think you were," He lied. Straight through his teeth.

"You did."

"I did." He laughed. "How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Catch me in a lie so easily. Like it's second nature," He explained taking a spot on the balcony right next to you.

"You said it yourself. We're the same—similar at least. We both have the same reasons to lie. You lied because you want me to think you care.” You said, your eyes unmoving from the landscape infant of you.

"But I also see more than you think I do. I saw how you pocketed my coke before we left the bathroom and threw it out in the second floor hallway." You turned to face him. Now he was just like the rest; bewildered and baffled that you were more than what met the eye.

He bit his tongue and quirked his head, silent for a moment before speaking.

"You caught me." And for the first time that night you smiled because you knew he was being honest. You couldn't care less for his compliments and niceties because you knew they weren't reserved for you. You'd like to think they were, though.

"Can I ask why, though?" His question tip-toped around the fact of the matter, but you knew exactly what he meant.

"It makes it easier," You replied. "Being here."

He didn't tell you but he understood, maybe not all of it, but just enough to not have to ask anymore. So he left you alone and did something he would've found absurd two weeks ago: he enjoyed your company.

MAIN MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

[charles-simmons-fanfiction]

Their very first year at Welton - Described by Steven Meeks

Description: the tittle is kinda self explanatory. [1,3k words]

The prompt is inspired by @i-love-steven-meeks :3 I had fun writing this. It's pretty much just my personal hcs for pre-canon and there's a few more that I didn't include here actually, so I might make more posts on pre-canon stuff. Anyway, hope you enjoy <3

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡.

The year was 1955. I was twelve, and starting seventh grade.

I had only been in Welton for a week and already missed home. It's not that I wasn't grateful for being at such a prestigious academy, but I had no time to do anything anymore. I had hoped I would at least have the weekends to go explore the library, yet soon I realized weekends were barely enough to finish all the assignments we were given.

The other guys in my class seemed to be in a similar situation, maybe even worse, actually. It didn't take long for some students to start realizing how tough the classes were.

There were a few boys that would stand out, as there usually is. Charlie Dalton and Neil Perry were two of them. They would laugh too loud, talk too much, and generally be disruptive. Charlie, contrary to Neil, was a huge back-talker to the teachers. He got particularly mad at a professor one day, when Neil asked to to go the bathroom and was denied. (I think they even called his parents to complain about him). Both of them mostly talked to each other, and it was clear they were already friends from before Welton.

Every once in a while, the class would be asked to pair up for some project. For as long as it was possible, I did the projects on my own. Pair or groups were always stressful and I like things to be done my way, which was often the right way. Eventually, a professor said no and forced me to look for a pair. That was when I started to get to know my roommate, Gerard Pitts, who also did most of his projects alone.

Pitts was quiet to the point no one actually knew what his voice sounded like. He was the tallest in class and seemed to be a very serious guy. At first, I thought he was intimidating, but soon I realized he was just terribly shy.

Being roommates with him was easy. Most of our interactions could be summarized by "good evening", "good morning" and "can I open the window?". And that was that for at least the whole first month, until the exams started. Pitts barely even slept sometimes, studying for hours on end and still barely getting decent grades.

I offered to help, and that's what I consider the beginning of our friendship. Although Gerard himself would disagree. According to him, we officially became friends when he made a reference to Aslan from Narnia and I actually got it.

As we started to learn how to manage all the school work, we were left with some free time that was mostly used to read and chat outside. Everything seemed boring when it rained though.

It was one of those days. A Saturday without homework was rare, and it was truly a shame how much it was raining. Me and Pitts sat on the stairs, feeling bored while watching the older students pass by.

"Hey, you two," someone called. It took us some time to realize we were the ones being spoken to. I looked up and saw Charlie and Neil, who I still hadn't interacted with before. "Want to play hide and seek? We need more people."

Gerard shrugged, so I said yes.

(Sometimes I wonder how many things would've been different if I hadn't done that. A few days ago, out of curiosity, I asked Charlie what his thoughts were on the matter. His answer was: "nothing, we would've become friends some other way", which is nice to think about.)

We played for pretty much the whole day and probably would've for longer if it wasn't for the chemistry teacher telling us to go back to our dorms at night. Neil won more times than all of us together, and Charlie bruised a knee while he ran from Pitts (who was very unsurprisingly faster), but we hadn't had that much genuine fun in a while anyway and I really needed some reason to laugh at the time. It's a day I hold dear in my memories. Little me had no idea how close I would grow to those people. Heaven knows it was hard for some of us to be away from home for so long.

In a couple months, the teachers already hated our quartet. Even though we didn't even particularly misbehave during class, we were insufferable to deal with if we were all together. I'd be lying if I said I'm proud of how I was, I was pretty stupid sometimes y'know. Not that I ever met anyone who likes their 12 years old self.

Something curious I particularly remember is thinking that Charlie was kind of a bully, and being quite confused on how he was even friends with someone as nice as Neil. As the weeks passed though, I started noticing he only picked on me and Pitts if he knew we weren't upset for real. Turns out Charlie was actually the sweetest out of us, in his own way.

He saw me crying once. I will admit that I did cry a lot in my first year. I missed my room, my old school and my parents. Charlie made some joke about me needing to man up, I don't even remember exactly what he said. I think joking was his first instinct, the guy didn't really know what to do. He apologized later, and stayed with me until I stopped crying.

I mentioned that story to him in tenth grade one time, and he didn't really remember. He had just had a big fight with Neil and they didn't talk for like two weeks. It's the only time I ever saw Charlie cry. I did his homework for him that day and let him stay in my dorm for a while. He ended up falling asleep on my bed, so I had to sleep with Gerard. None of us ever mentioned it again, there was no reason to.

It was in that year that Cameron joined the group, because he was assigned to be Charlie's new roommate. I'm impressed they even let Neil and Charlie be in the same room for that long actually. The two scream so much, no wonder they had to switch rooms.

Knox, on the other hand, didn't share a room with any of us. We became friends in early eighth grade, as far as I can recall. My first impression of him was that he was pretty annoying. Time only proved me right, yet we got along surprisingly well. He became a part of the group quite quickly, although he and Charlie would argue a lot.

I can't quite process it's been four years since I became a student at Welton. It feels like a whole life. What's weird is that as much as I hate this place, I wouldn't change it for the world. Some people are meant to meet, y'know. Right now, I'm currently sitting on my bed as I write this, and Pitts is on his bed, snoring. I'm in eleventh grade now, and there's a new addition to our group. His name's Todd Anderson, he's roommates with Neil. He seems nice, I like him already.

I don't know exactly why I'm writing this. I guess I just want to keep these memories written somewhere, for me to read again someday.

Maybe in the future, like a decade later, I'll be able to bring this up if we still make the dead poets' meetings. I hope we're all still together by then, but I'm not too worried about it. Unless some of us die, we'll be.

I gotta go to sleep now. This was fun to write though.

-Steven Meeks, 1959

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡.

[ashleyrowanthewriter]

The Sign for Gold is Ugly - Chapter 5

Previous/Next

*************

In the middle of the day Kayla was woken up by a phone from her sister. It annoyed her a little bit. She understood that the world was built around diurnal people so doctors, pollsters and scammers would phone her in the early afternoon. However Goldie said that she would only call in the morning or the afternoon once Kayla started turning nocturnal. As such it was a highly unusual occurrence.

“Hi, sis… What is it?” Kayla said to the phone in between yawns.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, Kayla!” said Goldie. “I’m just so nervous…”

“Goldie… Don’t worry, you can do it for sure,” said Kayla. “You chose to take the exam today knowing well that you are prepared.”

“I know, but still…” Goldie couldn’t finish the sentence because one of the examiners came out of the room and told her to get inside. “Crap, it’s my turn!”

“You can do it, sis!” said Kayla. “Now if you allow me…,” she hung up and fell back asleep.

Goldie sighed and pushed her wheelchair to the exam room simply wanting to have the uncertainty behind her.

Goldie was really stressed out. The looks of the examiners were piercing through her confidence. She knew that she shouldn’t think of them as her enemies, but she knew they were not her allies either. Just the enforcers of the system of signs that she desperately tried to get familiar with.

The closest examiner to the door was an actual mermaid sitting in a wheelchair similar to her. She seemed to be cheering on Goldie and genuinely wishing her the same success she has achieved a long time ago. In the middle there was a man who definitely was the bad cop of the bunch. He was there to give Goldie her score and tell her to get out. And the third examiner was someone familiar…

“Dr. Rowan?” Goldie was shocked.

“Isn’t the world small?” said Dr. Rowan. “Well, what actually is small is the pool of examiners to be exact.”

“Hey, I’m lucky then!” said Goldie.

“Nu-uh, no lenient treatment,” said Dr. Rowan. “Can’t risk my licence. Somebody has to be there for students of the future.”

The man in the middle grunted to tell Dr. Rowan to stop talking with her student and start the exam.

“Right, we should start right about now,” said Dr. Rowan.

“Allow me to explain the examination process,” said the bad cop examiner. “You’re going to have a conversation with each of us about a topic we choose. You are going to be evaluated based on the speed and fluidity of your responses.”

“Alright, let’s get started!” said Goldie.

“Splendid,” said the mermaid examiner. “I will be your first interlocutor.”

The mermaid asked some questions about transitioning around the world. Goldie’s answers were slow, but mostly because of nerves. Overall she made a nice talk.

The bad cop turned out to simply ask a few easy questions about art and what it meant to Goldie. Every answer was quick and definite.

And just as Goldie went into flow Dr. Rowan dropped a bomb on her. She asked her about the state of economy of the United States compared to the Soviet Union during the Perestroyka period. At first Goldie was stuttering or however it was called in sign languages, but she quickly regained her flow. Although she wasn’t sure how good of a talk she did.

“That will be enough,” said Dr. Rowan after a while.

“Please leave for a moment,” said the bad cop.

Outside of the examination room Goldie was worried. Her performance was not perfect, that was for sure. The question was whether or not it was good enough. Goldie was seriously afraid that her certificate won’t be given and she will never be able to transition.

Suddenly Dr. Rowan came out of the room to invite Goldie back inside.

Goldie feared the judging looks of the examiners that would tell her that she failed. But surprisingly everybody was smiling.

<<Well done, Gold!>> signed Dr. Rowan. <<You have officially passed the exam.>> She pushed a piece of paper through the top of the table. <<Here’s your certificate. Congratulations!>>

Goldie never felt so happy since starting her course. She personally thanked every examiner using Merslan and went out of the room dancing. Not able to keep her happiness to herself, Goldie called her sister.

Kayla’s voice was not friendly since her sleep was disturbed the second time in half an hour.

“You better be calling me to tell me that you have passed,” said Kayla. “Or you’ll be glad that bats don’t eat fish.”

“Well, looks like you won’t be changing your diet,” said Goldie. “Because indeed I passed!”

“Woohoo! Please remind me in the evening so I can celebrate properly, OK?”

*************

Nice! Almost finished! Just a friendly reminder, this is my fanfic of fish HRT by @welldrawnfish and bat HRT by @kaylasartwork. You know what would be funny? If the real Goldie was actually really interested in history and could deliver a lengthy confident speech about Perestroyka.

[heesblanket]

hii! can I request a Zhanghao enemies to lovers? 👀 maybe oneshot, please? 🙏🏼

thought all day about how i'm gonna write this one so i hope you enjoy it 🤭

genre: enemies to lovers - Zhang Hao

characters: Zhang Hao, Hanbin, Jiwoong, Gyuvin, Ricky

YOUR NAME?

School just ended meaning summer is coming. Hanging out with my friends and doing the most random stuff like always.

Beefing with Gyuvin every second I get, Ricky buying me anything just to shut me up, Hanbin finally not getting stressed over exams and Jiwoong having the urge to tell us the most random stuff he learned about the day before. Awww how much i missed this.

Ohh and also Zhang Hao. We are not on good terms. No one knows why, nor do I but it has been like this for 2 years now. Not talking with each other, and if we do, well... let's just say it's not good idea. We don't have much to talk about anyway, we have the same friends so the tension between us is usually broke down by Gyuvins rapid mood outbursts or Jiwoongs random scientific facts.

"Heyy y/n" Gyuvin screaming at me as i was approaching them. Greeting my friends like usual, giving little nod to Zhang Hao in front of me, him not returning this action. I dont even know why im greeting him today as we don't greet each other.

"Soo, i was thinking" Hanbin starting off his sentence. I didnt really pay attention to him as i noticed Zhang Hao intensely staring at me. Or so i thought. People behind me kicked a ball and was now flying right into me. Getting grabbed and pushed to the side by Zhang Hao so the ball wouldn't hit me. Somehow his arm ended around my waist, my whole back pressed against his chest.

"HEY, WATCH IT" Gyuvin already ready to fight anyone that tries to hurt me. Even though Gyuvin isn't the quietest person his actions speaks louder than him. And that's what i appreciate about him the most. He really acts like i'm his younger sister he needs to protect even though i'm older than him.

While I was still trying to understand what happened i was being pushed again. Zhang Hao letting of me from this awkward position, clearing his throat and that's when i realised in what position we were just now.

Trying not to be even more awkward i went to Gyuvin trying to calm him down. Yes, he was still yelling about "how they dare to kick a ball into me". This is what i mean when i say he is extra.

Of course my friends saw this whole interaction between us. They act like there's nothing between me and Zhang Hao even though it's the most oblivious thing ever.

When we were leaving to whatever place Hanbin mentioned while i was starting back at Zhang Hao, Ricky walked to me to walked with me. He obviously knows about this situation so i hope he won’t bring it up with what ever he is gonna say.

“soo- you and Zhang Hao will be on good terms soon?” aghh, how i hate his teasing voice.

“THAT was nothing, he just pushed me, nothing else” trying to lie to make me feel better.

“ohh, since when is being ‘pushed’ almost hugging huh?” i couldn’t bear to looks at him. You can hear his smirk already.

But i couldn’t answer him. Not that i didn’t want to but i genuinely didn’t know what to say. Zhang Hao was acting different this past few weeks when i look at it. Bringing me water to lunch, leaving doors open for me, there’s just something i didnt understood till now.

My thoughts were cut off when we arrived at our favourite park. The sun was setting down already making the sky all orangish-yellowish. I couldn’t look at the sky better as the others were already running towards ice cream shop. How did I forget. This is our tradition on the first day of summer.

We were walking away from the ice cream shop with our ice cream. Looking for free benches where we could sit. While we were walking towards them Hanbin dropped his ice cream. Normally, he wouldn’t care about it but Ricky insisted on buying him new one. Looking around me i realised, Jiwoong and Gyuvin aren’t here with us. They must have stayed in the ice cream shop. Hanbin, Ricky and his sneaky little smile leaving. Me and Zhang Hao sitting down on the benches.

The weird tension building up again. We knew that we had to talk about the stuff that happened lately. I wanted to speak up but Zhang Hao beat me to it.

“i don’t know what came over me but i always act in the moment, just letting you know”

silence. I didnt know what to answer so the most simple thing came out of me.

“it’s okay”

Now this was evern more awkward. I had this weird courage to talk to him so i went for it.

“why do you treat me differently from others?” If you couldn’t tell Zhang Hao is everyone’s crush. He is the sweetest person towards them but somehow not to me. It did hurt a lot the first few weeks.

“huh? wdym, you acted all sassy towards me? i won’t be surprised if you hate”

“hate you? no no, YOU hate me! every since the first day”

“what, NO? you hate me! i wanted to talk to you cuz you seemed nice but you we’re acting all sassy” Nice? Did he just called me nice? To be honest that’s the only thing I caught.

“you think i’m nice?”

“well, i used to, but you are proving yourself wrong. But what about you and your sassy attitude towards me, huh?”

Here comes the problem. His so called “sassy” was me trying to impress him. I thought he would want to talk to me more if i was more confident, i guess not. Now i’m thinking, do i say the truth or do i think of something real quick? OH no, he is starting at me, come one y/n, THINK.

“ohh that, i was just trying to impress you, nothing else”

silence. Realisation hitting us both. We both tried to impress each other but we made hate ourselves. What a coincidence.

“well, these are news” Zhang Hao finally relaxing while finishing his ice cream.

We now sat in another silence. Not uncomfortable one, but i couldn’t help to ask him.

“do you want to start all over again?” Zhang Hao smiling at my idea. Damn, this is my first time seeing him smiling this close.

Zhang Hao already pulling out his hand for me to shake it

“Hi, nice to meet you, Im Zhang Hao

YOUR NAME?”

—————————————— cut

i hope you enjoy this one 🙈

i can do 2nd part if there is interest for it ^^

[kylejsugarman]

genuinely curious, i’m hoping to go to med school someday but i also struggle with adhd and the idea of having so much time off just to study for step 1 genuinely terrifies me- how did u manage dedicated? any tips??

dedicated as a concept was literally formulated in a lab to attack med students with adhd, im like actually certain of this. like "hey we're going to take away ur routine for several weeks and just have u free study for one of the biggest exams of ur life. Good Luck." it was definitely hard for me but!! if u go to med school, u should have resources at ur school to at least get u started on the right track with planning ur studying and if they dont offer, u ask for them. u say "i am going to have trouble with this. i need help making a plan." what helped me the most was sitting down and literally just writing out exactly what i was going to do for the next 6 weeks. like "i am going to do this set of questions on this particular topic before lunch, im going to audit those questions after lunch." auditing too is really important because u do need to hone in on what ur not good at and focus on getting decent at it. u dont have to be an expert, u just need to identify what u suck at and say "i need to study for this just enough so i can answer most questions abt it correctly". when ur looking down the barrel of step 1, which is testing literally every single body system and every single aspect of medicine, u can't be an expert on everything and trying to do that will literally kill u. hone in on what ur good on so that u can nail all of those questions and get all those points, do questions on the things u truly suck at so u dont miss every single one of those questions, hammer in the topics in between with memorization. i have a genuinely awful memory and that has made med school very hard for me, so i was having to do anki decks (<- anki is a flashcard app, extremely helpful for med school and highly recommended) daily to retain anything. a lot of people love sketchy for memorizing things, but my adhd makes it hard for me to take in the crowded drawings that sketchy uses. u may find it helpful if ur a mind palace kind of learner

honestly just setting up a routine for urself ahead of time and planning what ur going to do each day are some of the most helpful things. dont be afraid to literally write down and post ur schedule on the wall so u cant overlook or forget it. do a ton of practice questions, as many as u can get ur hands on: questions require more mental focus and attention than just trying to read text or watch videos to study and u will get info from them. audit ur questions to see what u consistently get wrong and improve those areas, but dont kill urself doing it. find a memorization technique that works for u and memorize as much as u can. have a google doc where u can write down a fact or answer u keep forgetting and just periodically go through that doc to remind urself. but dont let adhd discourage u from going to med school and tackling dedicated, im like so serious abt that. its scary and i know i complain a lot and ive struggled mightily, but if its ur passion, u will adapt and ur already doing the right thing by asking for help and advice

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Afraid of losing him. Part 2: Sirius' P. O.V

Check out Part 1.

Sirius loved to stare at Remus while he slept. Remus was so peaceful, so quiet, so beautiful. Sirius used to feel goosebumps all over his body when he saw him. Sirius used to smile and think he was luckiest person alive. Sirius used to giggle to himself because he was so in love with this boy. And Sirius touched him like the most precious thing. "Mine, mine, mine, mine..." he used to think. His Moony.

But right now, when Remus slept, were the only moments when Sirius felt some sort of peace. He could pretend the Remus that was sleeping was his beautiful Moony, the one used to adore. Not the new clingy boyfriend. Sirius could pretend everything was as it used to be. Not the mess they were. Sirius could pretend he still felt they were unstoppable, that he still felt at the top of the world when he was with Remus, not the opposite.

But lately, everything felt wrong. This Remus wasn't Sirius' Moony.

Everything had changed around them. James and Lily were having a baby. And Sirius barely saw his other friends. All of them had different lives and all of them acted like mature adults. And Remus... Remus felt so far away.

Sirius wasn't quite sure what had changed. Remus was the same, he looked the same, he felt the same, he tasted the same. But he wasn't his Moony. This Remus was so clingy and dependant of Sirius, that Sirius felt uncomfortable. Sirius wanted him back. He wanted his Moony back.

But Sirius was attached to whatever this was, because he was too much of a coward to do anything. The strong love Sirius felt for Remus once, gave him hope that things someday would feel normal. Sirius didn't want to give up on this love. He couldn't give up. Sirius felt a cold shiver down his spine only thinking about losing Remus. Sirius could actually die without Remus.

Sirius' eyes filled with tears now. That's when Remus woke up and Sirius looked away.

"Hey" Remus smiled.

"Hey"

This wasn't how they greeted each other in the mornings.

Remus moved in bed.

"What time is it?" Remus asked "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

Sirius sighed "Yeah..." he sat up "I have class in an hour. I better go"

"Don't you want to stay with me?" Remus asked

Sirius frowned and stared at him.

"I cannot miss classes" he said "Besides, you have to work"

Remus looked sad.

"Yeah... Adult responsabilities, eh Mr. Black?" Remus smiled but there was something about his smile that didn't look genuine.

Sirius missed Remus so much. How could he get that feeling back? How could he get Moony back? He was desperate. He would do anything.

Sirius leaned in and closed his eyes before kissing Remus slowly. He was trying. He was trying so hard to feel it again. But nothing happened. It felt wrong. The way Remus kissed him felt wrong. So Sirius pulled away with an urge to cry.

"It sucks to be an adult" he said instead.

"Yeah" Remus said "And we complained about McGonagall's exams"

Why did it feel like they were old classmates who bumped into each other after years and were complaining about their lives? Why did everything feel so awkward?

Sirius faked a smile and a laugh.

"I miss Minnie so much"

I miss you so much.

"I miss her as well"

Do you?

Sirius got out of bed.

"I'm getting late, Moony. I better go"

"Pads?"

Sirius turned.

Remus have him a smile.

"I love you"

It didn't sound like he meant it. It sounded so desperate. Like when Walburga said it to Orion when she wanted something from him. Like a mantra Remus had to repeat every time. And his eyes moved desperately in search for an answer. Remus needed to hear it now. And Sirius felt he had to answer because Remus might combust otherwise.

"I love you too"

Sirius noticed the relief in Remus' expression.

"But get out of that bed before I make you, Lupin"

"I'll have to see you try, Black"

Sirius hated this new Remus. Sirius loved the old one. Sirius was still in love with the old one. But he didn't know how to get him back.

**************

"Saturday was a bummer, like you British people say... I love that word. It was good you didn't come. The music wasn't that great. And there were some dudes totally wasted that were trying to fight with us... It was nightmare honestly. Nothing is the same without you because at least I would've made fun of your hair and your royal manners.."

Ever since Benjy found out Sirius used to be part of the Black Family, he teased him calling him a little prince and a privileged douchebag. But Sirius had nothing to do with the Blacks anymore. He saw Reggie and Andy all the time. But that was it.

"And I would've made fun of your cowboy manners, Texas boy"

That made Benjy laugh. But Sirius was not in the mood.

"Anyway... You were busy with more important matters..." Banjy raised an eyebrow and smirked "Did you and Remus talk?".

Benjy had that wise aurea on him. Probably because of his beard. It felt easy to tell him things, especially about Remus because he didn't know him. Not like his friends did. They would immediately try to fix things between them. Sirius didn't need that. He needed someone impartial.

Benjy had told Sirius about his plenty of relationships. He knew about life. And he always had the best advice.

After Sirius and Remus had a stupid discussion, about Benjy, because Remus had been stupidly jealous, Benjy encouraged Sirius to talk with Remus and fix things. But all of it ended up in rough hot sex. It had felt so good in the moment. But after they were done, Sirius felt nothing was fixed. Actually it was worse.

Sirius shook his head.

"I get it. Your mouth was busy with other things"

Benjy chuckled. But Sirius didn't find it funny.

"At least Remus understood there's nothing between you and I, right?"

Sirius didn't answer.

"Okay, Sirius" Benjy said "Tell Benjy what's wrong"

They sat on a bench outside. The sunlight was great and Sirius was wearing shades. Sirius had the urge to smoke. But smoking reminded him of Remus.

"Remus is still angry, right?" Benjy added "I can call him..."

Sirius shook his head.

"I can call him and explain there is absolutely nothing between you and me...."

"No no.... It's okay. You don't have to do that"

"I don't have that bad taste, anyway" Benjy smiled.

Sirius smiled as well. But then he stopped smiling because everything hurt. Benjy looked at him curiously.

"It's not that, Benjy" Sirius explained "Remus is  sure I would never... It's something else"

Benjy approached.

"What? What is it?"

Sirius wasn't sure about telling Benjy.

"You can trust me. We are friends, buds, right?"

"Buds?"

"Mates..." Benjy said in a really bad British accent that made Sirius laugh.

"Is everything okay between you and Remus?"

Sirius' eyes filled with tears.

"No"

Benjy stared at him with concern. Sirius hadn't dared to talk with James or Peter or Marlene, or any of the others about this. He didn't know why. Perhaps the fact they always saw them as this perfect couple. And Remus was their friend too

Sirius kind of trusted Benjy.

"Remus... Remus feels wrong...." Sirius started, swallowing his tears.

"In what sense?"

"When he touches me... Or kisses me... Actually in everything he does, it doesn't feel like he loves me. It feels like he is obsessed with me. It feels... As if he is desperate, that he scared that I am going to disappear any second.... And I hate that. I feel so awkward around him"

It was weird to put everything into words. It felt like Sirius was missing a lot of things to say but didn't know how to say them.

"It's not like it used to be...." Sirius continued, his eyes were full of tears "I used to be so happy, so comfortable around him. I used to love him more than anyone in this world. And he felt the same. And together... We were unstoppable. Everything felt right. I felt like we were going to be together forever. And Remus was different.... He was my Moony.... "

"Your Moony?"

Sirius sighed. How to explain it.

"That's how I called him" Sirius said "The old Remus... The one that wasn't so depressed and unsure. That Remus knew me so well. That Remus knew what to say and when to say it. Remus was the only one that actually understood me. He had that force, that sense of humor. He was the only one that made me feel inexplicable things. He drove me insane, in a good way... " he smiled "And he made me braver. He was quiet but also wild. He was the only one that told me I was being an asshole. He made me see things in a different way. I felt a different person with him....with Remus. He was amazing. Someone I would never dare to be. A complete mess" he chuckled "But a beautiful one. I loved to discover him every day. He always surprised me"

Sirius didn't realize he was crying until he stopped talking. And he wiped his tears away. Luckily his shades were covering most of it.

"And now... Now he is a scary jealous boyfriend who is obsessed with me. It's like... It's like he is sad all the time. And the only thing that makes him happy is me. And I know it sounds good but I hate it. I hate that responsability.... I want my boyfriend back.... I need him.... I don't want to be worried about Remus all the time. I don't want to say things and do things just to make him happy..."

Sirius stopped because he didn't know how to express the rest.

"Woow" Benjy sighed after a while "It's too much"

Sirius nodded.

"Relationships have states, Sirius" Benjy explained. Sirius looked at him.

"One of them, actually the most beautiful one is the honeymoon phase... But it doesn't last.... And after it, it's when couples get tested. Problems start, and routine starts and there are other things you discover about your partner..." Benjy nodded "Most couples don't survive it, the ones have true love, even in difficult times are the ones that stay"

Sirius frowned "Are you saying Remus and I... We didn't survive?" it hurt only saying it.

"No. No. I'm not saying that" Benjy cleared his throat "I am saying that you shouldn't get stuck in the past or the honeymoon phase, because it's done.... Now you and Remus have to fight to keep the love alive"

Sirius was doing everything possible to fight. Remus was doing the same but everything felt different and wrong.

"Do I have to do things differently? What I do I do to fix things?"

Perhaps both Remus and Sirius had changed. And perhaps they needed to change things for their relationship to work again.

"Can I give you an advice?" Benjy asked "I think I know what is the problem here"

Sirius was desperate to know. So he nodded.

"Have I ever told you I was engaged?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. He had learned Benjy had had many relationships but engaged....

"Engaged?"

"Yeah" Benjy nodded.

"Noo..." Sirius giggled.

"Yeah"

"What happened?"

Benjy sighed.

"She was my best friend. We grew up together. We went to same school. We got along so well, that everyone excepted us to be together..." Benjy suddenly looked so much younger and naive than he appeared.

"So we fell in love. Or so I thought..." Benjy continued "And we were happy. Everything was so perfect, that when I turned 19, almost your age..." Benjy smiled "I decided to propose. And she said yes.... And I thought I was going to be really happy, that she was the love of my life..."

"And?"

"And..."Benjy smiled" She left me on the altar"

Sirius was surprised. He thought it would've been the other way around based on what he knew of Benjy.

"What?"

"Yeah..." Benjy said "She left a letter saying she was sorry but I was going to understand one day that we weren't going to be happy together.... And at first, I got angry and depressed because I loved her... But now.... Now I thank her. Thanks her to her, I've traveled around the world, and I've decided to pursue my true passion: art... " Sirius smiled" And I discovered I am bisexual.... " Benjy sighed" I would've been miserable with her"

Sirius didn't understand what this had to do with Remus and him. Sirius swallowed.

"Are you saying I should break up with Remus because I will be happier without him?"

Sirius' heart ached only thinking about it. He didn't want to. He didn't want to discover a new life without him.

Benjy took a while to respond.

"No... No... I am not saying that" Benjy said "I am saying that is not healthy to depend so much on someone... Because you don't know what would happen in the future. If that someone is actually for you"

Sirius unconsciously touched the moon tattoo on his wrist. Remus and him were soulmates. The moon and the stars, right?

"And for what you are telling me, you and Remus are very dependant on each other. Especially Remus"

Sirius thought about all the times Remus didn't want to get out of bed, only when Sirius dragged him. Sirius thought about the jealous attacks Remus had been having. Sirius thought about how Remus tried to fix every fight with sex and physical affection, and how Remus always agreed with Sirius, how he didn't fight back. Like before. Sirius thought about that time when they had a strong fight and Remus clenched to his waist and cried like a child begging him not to leave him.

What had happened to Remus? He was a pathetic excuse of a boyfriend. He was not the Remus Sirius knew.

"I don't want to break up with Remus" Sirius cried "I don't want a life without him. I love him. I love him so much, Benjy"

"That's not healthy, Sirius"

Fuck, and perhaps Sirius was the same clingy boyfriend. Perhaps he was obsessed and dependant of Remus as much as Remus was of him. It was true, they had based their lives on each other. They had loved each other so much that now they didn't know how to live without each other. They were pathetically trying to do everything to maintain this relationship. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe their love had turned into obsession. It made Sirius sick thinking about it.

"Do I have to break up with him?"

Benjy patted Sirius' back.

"Not necessarily" he said.

Sirius needed to believe there was hope still. That he and Remus could get back to what they used to be.

"Just... Focus on yourselves. Spend less time with each other... See your friends more"

"We have the same friend group"

"That's also a problem" Benjy hissed "Don't you have friends that are only yours?"

"I have you"

Benjy smiled.

"That's sweet, handsome" Benjy said "And Remus?"

"Remus... Remus has this friend... He lives in Brighton though"

"Good! Maybe it would help that Remus spends some time in Brighton with his friend..." Benjy added "Just try not to depend on each other.... It would help to have more things to tell each other about. To miss each other. It would refresh your relationship...."

Sirius nodded. Benjy was right. Perhaps spending less time with each other would help. Perhaps they could fix things. Perhaps being separate would make the love come back. Because Sirius was not going to lose this love. He was not going to lose Remus.

"And if it doesn't work?"

Benjy took a deep breath.

"Then, my dear friend Sirius, you have to understand that perhaps you were not meant to be"

Sirius closed his eyes for a second because only hearing that hurt. But no. This was Remus and him.

"We are going to fix things" Sirius said "I know it"

Benjy smiled "I really hope so"

He patted Sirius' shoulder and stood up.

"Come on... Let's get to class"

Sirius nodded. He was going to stand up when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. It was Remus. Remus was calling him.

"Is it him?" Benjy asked, because Sirius was frozen.

"Yeah"

But Sirius shut off his phone and pocketed it.

"But I am not going to answer" Sirius said "He needs to learn to be without me, right?"

Benjy nodded "It's for the better"

Sirius hoped this worked. Sirius really hoped he could have his Moony back.

He stood up.

"Let's go"

[lifeofagirlnameddan]

This Life (prt 3)

those times were fun, I wish I could go back to that con honestly... After that our schedules became busy because we had exams week right after. S and I would study with our group of friends in the library. Oh we don't sit beside each other, but we did sit in front of each other and normally our eyes would be glued to the tables and papers and notes as we study. But there was a time I felt his hand brush mine, I look down the table...he's challenging me in thumb wrestling... so okay, thumb wrestle under the table we did. I won but he wouldn't let go...I tried to pull away gently but his grip didn't loosen. We stayed like that for a while, our hands just holding under the table as we study... Until it was time for us to go we'd leave and pull our hands away acting as if none of it ever happened. As we get home, S would call me up to play Genshin. He lost his account and needed my help, so sure I helped him out... We played almost everyday after school, called each other every other day... texting each other, sending reels and photos and rambles. It was really fun honestly. I felt so at ease with S, I feel like I've found a really good friend in my life and someone I can be my true self around. He understands me, he listens to me and he hugs me and lets me play with his hair, he would let me lean and sleep on him every time I had a head ache at school. He was the most genuine and sincere and caring person I've been with in all my school life. One night while we were calling we were reminiscing on the Con that we attended. And we would do random question and answers with each other... One time he asked if I believed in second chances, and I said yeah. I asked him if he did, he said yeah. We stayed silent for a moment and I suddenly said something silly, something like... You know, I would confess to you if I could, I meant it as a silly thought and thinking he didn't hear me, he spoke out and asked why dont I do it? In the heat of the moment, I told him... S...i like you. And S said he did too... Oh and it was pure bliss from then on. We would see each other in school and I would blush and walk away, and he would come over to me and chat with me and we would talk and hug and sit at the staircase and be together. We haven't really placed a label on it yet, but as we were hugging at the staircase he said he was fighting his intrusive thoughts to choke hold me again as a joke, I told him I was fighting my own thoughts too. I think he thought I was going to fight him or something so he told me to just do it. Without a moment to lose I leaned up and kissed his cheek and DAMMIT EVEN WRITING THIS AND REMEMBERING IT ALL IS MAKNG ME FEEL THINGS AHHHH He was so red, hugged me and kissed my cheeks as well. At this point it was puppy love. Soon after our school year was ending and we were preparing for the moving up ceremony, we had to do a play (HSM: We're All in this Together--I played a teacher, a cheerleader and a baller so I had to change from a fancy shawl and glasses to a white top and mini red skirt and then to a jersey) I think he liked the outfits I wore whoops-- At least he was honest haha. We got closer there too, but since we were entering SHS it was going to be different. Before the ceremony S tells me its possible that he's moving schools and is moving to a university. Of course I was quite upset, we just got together and now he's leaving?? Well that was fine, he promised we'd see each other every month, and chat each other everyday, play games and video call still. He kept those promises, As we ended the school year at June, he and I saw each other again the next month for a friends birthday celebration to go ice skating. It was so fun honestly, He took me on the ice bear seat and went really fast and went drifting! I skated off on my own and he quickly followed but ended up crashing into me. Both of us fell and I realized... his pants ripped open! Honestly it's still one of my favorite memories. He's a bit shy about it whenever I mention it still.

[lovings4turn]

i'm kinda back, i'm kinda back !! and, i have my laptop on split screen so i know what i said last week and what you responded (crazy! it's been a week!) and, apologies from my end once again !! :((

i've been pulling through much to our surprise, had a revelation the other day and that gave me the drive to just push! the revelation is: this course is just deadline heavy, the exam itself is just a few theories and full bodies of three legislations: the GDPR, CTR, and.... MDR! (also, we had a lecture on MDR yesterday. the last think i expected to hear was that condoms are seen as medical devices which does make sense but i was surprised.) but am i really in health sciences/public health if i don't get enlightened every other day? yeah, exactly 😔😭

how are your academics going !? saw you got midterms done, hopefully all went well !! i just know you did your best and i'm so so proud of you lovelie !! 🫶🫶 also, how are you doing !? hopefully you have treated yourself to getting on top of all of it !! <3

how is your burn doing from last week? hopefully all healed !! but, honestly, i have much much respect for what you do !! you're practically doing chemistry with drinks that are..... wait. how do i word it? that tend to make one more alive? is that it? idk! 😭😭

weather, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, becca!! it's getting so much better !! we're hitting 17+ weather!! yesterday it was hot as heck, and i wore a bomber jacket and a turtle neck jUST IN CASE. didn't realise it would be /that/ hot. hopefully your weather is not too bad ?!

oOoOh!! cinnamon lattes sound so cool !! i'd love that because cinnamon just has a wonderful scent, aaaa !! so i can imagine it'd be heavenly !! two each shift ?! dang !! (i'd do the same) oooh, so fancy becca !! 🤭🤭 bears on flat whites 😭 sounds a bit concerning without context but i love that sm !! what's your favourite design you've made so far !?

the answer to the joke! well, the man left because... man go. he saw the mango sign beside the mangos, right? and the man chose to go. ha! (that sounded better in my head 😞) apologies if it wasn't funny 🫠 my essay has come to an end !! but, i hope you do take care of yourself and i'm sending you all the love in the universe and just keep smiling and have the best day ever !! love ya bunches !!! 🫶🫶

surprise surprise ,, it’s time for MY apologies !! so glad to have you back here though love ,, seeing you in my inbox NEVER fails to make me smile omg

AHHHH I’M SO PROUD OF YOU !!!! i KNEW you could do it omg ,, you’ve got this down sweets !!! honestly everything you reveal about your course just makes me more n more appreciative of your brain because oh my god i could never understand HALF of these things !!!! like that’s so impressive to me !!!! how are the studies currently treating you then love ?

AHHH THANK YOU ! and yes !!! finally got them all handed in so i have a solid month or so of relaxation before finals 🤩 i decided to treat myself by .. booking a trip to italy with one of my friends which MAY be over the top but hey !!!! i deserve a little treat !!!

the burn has healed herself up too !! i did , somehow , cut myself on a milk jug my last shift though ? which even for me is baffling , i have no clue how i’ve managed that ? you’re so right about the chemistry thing omg !!! especially w our new summer menu ,, i genuinely feel like i’m crafting little potions and creations every time i make one and i love it sm 😭😭😭

THE WEATHER HEARD YOUR PRAYERS LOVE !! i’m so glad omg it’s about TIME !!!! finally getting the weather u deserve <33 our weather’s been so temperamental omg , one day it’s absolutely gorgeous out and the next it’s lashing down so we can’t win 😔

trust i would make you the most delicious , delectable cinnamon latte of your life sweetheart 🫶 it sounds VERY concerning out of context omg 😭😭😭 the other day i made a lil heart with a smiley face and as silly as it was i absolutely loved it 😭 like !!! it’s so goofy !!!

THE MAN GO OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT GET THAT 😭😭😭 i actually giggled out loud at that , cheesy jokes like these are so my niche so i LOVED that sm stop

i’m sending you all of the love , joy n positivity i possibly can sweetheart !!! thank you again for blessing my inbox with your sweet presence and lovely words ,, always so so nice to hear from you m’love 😽💌🫶

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Yuu can do it!

Part 35

First - Previous - Masterlist - Next

Enma carefully dusted off a lower shelf, preparing to leave. There was a guy with green hair outside, rapping fervently on the window, as he did basically every other night, seeking answers as to where his ‘Waka-sama’ was, as if Enma would suddenly understand who that was this time… but the store was closed, so this was not Enma’s problem. Should have come within the established store hours. Then Enma would humor him, for only then was he held captive by his responsibilities.

Even Sam was ignoring the potential customer, his magenta eyes scanning over the store’s stock critically.

“Little ghoul? Do you know what day it is?”

Enma thought for a moment, before shrugging. They had just passed midterm exams the week prior, which meant time did not matter to him in the slightest. But he had memorized the days for each exam, so... “The… 25th of October? I think?”

Sam sighed, and Enma almost feared that he had gotten it wrong, but the man wasn’t annoyed with him: “They know my schedule better than I do.”

Enma frowned. “Uh, do you have a stalker or something? Do you need help?”

Sam grinned at him briefly before taking out his phone. “Nothing like that, don’t worry.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and stepped around the man’s contemplation of his calendar (a truly important thing, he wouldn’t dare to break Sam’s focus) so he could set the duster in its unofficial place behind the counter. It was technically supposed to go in the store room, but neither of them ever bothered to take it back there.

Now, though, he was considering expending the necessary effort. Because he was the kind of employee who always went the extra mile, not because he felt slightly awkward when he wasn’t in the know. Not at all. He just also, by chance, happened to take the time to ask what was going on, because he liked making conversation with Sam.

“What is wrong, then?”

“Not wrong, per se, just annoying. The other schoolkids must have realized that I usually have a sale at the end of October and are waiting to buy things until then.”

Enma gasped. A sale? He had never loved his curious nature more than he did in that moment. Hell yeah, a sale –.

… wait.

“I suppose I’ll have to work that day,” he said, already grimacing at the idea of working in that kind of chaos.

“I’ll give you Overtime pay, don’t worry.”

“I’ll take a discount instead and call it even. In the spirit of sales and all,” Enma said, batting his eyelashes.

“You get your things at wholesale price. I can’t go any lower without losing money,” Sam said, raising an eyebrow at him, more amused than genuinely annoyed.

Enma huffed. “I’m not worth losing a few dollars over?”

“You say that like that’s not a lot! I would sell my firstborn to a demon for a couple of dollars.��

He considered this for a few moments.

“I mean, having a kid would kind of mess up your ‘cool uncle’ vibe,” he decided.

“Exactly. You get it.” He ruffled Enma’s hair. “Now, go home. You have class tomorrow.”

~

He grinned widely as he set far too many bags on the kitchen table, leaving his poor roommates (literally poor, they had no money) in shock.

“Sam let me have the first pick of the stuff that’s going on sale tomorrow, and I’m getting Overtime pay during the sale. We’re set.”

This was how Deuce and Ace found them gathered around their kitchen table, laughing evilly over their newfound fortune (two whole weeks' worth of groceries). They paused, their backpacks half off their shoulders, prepared to do their homework, but they suddenly did not trust the Ramshackle residents to be able to reason out the answers with them.

But then Deuce figured it out through context clues such as them actually having a surplus of food for once and the rumors that had spread through the school about how Sam usually had a sale around this time of year, and his eyes gleamed. “The sale starts tomorrow?”

Enma nodded in confirmation.

Deuce cackled maniacally.

Ace looked around at his fallen friends, considering whether he wanted to stay to cure them or run before their laughter had infected him, too.

~

Ito absently tossed their wooden spoon from hand to hand, glaring at the chicken they were frying as if that would make it be done faster. Enma wasn’t sure why they were in such a rush, Kuroki wasn’t done cutting the vegetables, so it wasn’t like they would finish anytime soon regardless.

But whatever. He wasn’t an expert or anything.

He glanced through the door to make sure that their friends weren’t doing anything too stupid. They had sent Ace, Deuce, and Grim out to do their homework while they waited for the food to be ready. Did any one of them think they’d actually do it? Absolutely not. It had only been a few minutes, but they were already slacking off, debating the ethics of punting small children for some reason – Enma didn’t want to know. All that was important was that they weren’t in the kitchen.

Why was Enma allowed in? Well, they trusted him to have enough self-control and self-awareness to not touch the food until it was done.

Enma had long-since stopped pretending to man the fire extinguisher. If Ito hadn’t burned their house down yet, they probably wouldn’t.

Still. Enma watched Ito like a hawk. Not because he was concerned, just a little confused.

“How are you so good at cooking but so awful at Alchemy? Isn’t it kind of the same thing?”

“I’m going to hit you with my spoon.”

“I can handle it,” Enma said.

He could not.

His arm hurt now. Crimes have been committed.

Kuroki snickered. Even worse.

But then he shrugged. “Honestly, I’m surprised that you’re even as fluent in Japanese as you are.”

Ito paused.

“Japanese?”

It was silent for a solid few moments, save for the chicken sizzling in the pan.

And that’s how they found out that the school had an enchanted translator. Just not one that would translate things in and out of Spanish. After some trial and error, mostly done by Ito (who knew a surprising number of languages) and Enma (who had tried to learn English once, only to immediately give up because the grammar rules – or lack of them – had pissed him off), they learned it translated English and Japanese, but nothing else. Enma and Kuroki could only give them consoling pats on the back as they cursed at the inhumanity of it all.

At least they didn’t have to think about that for long, because Kuroki realized that his next ‘assignment’ was to cut a singular jalapeno. “I don’t think it needs –.”

“How the fuck can you not handle –?! It’s one pepper!” Ito said.

“They’ve got a point, man. There has to be something wrong with your tastebuds.”

Kuroki sputtered. “All of us have something wrong with our tastebuds!”

“Sure, but is the spice thing new?”

Kuroki rolled his eyes and refused to answer.

“Maybe you’re allergic or something,” Ito offered.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure the tastebuds that register spice are similar to the ones that warn you when food is hot – temperature-wise, I mean – so maybe you just can’t tolerate heat in general.”

Kuroki grimaced. “I don’t like the sound of that. Don’t experiment on me.”

Life was just one tragedy after another for one Enma Yuuken.

“Or…” Kuroki hesitated. “Well, my parents never really bothered to teach me to cook, so I ended up eating whatever was easy to make or within biking distance. I just never developed a taste for spice.”

Enma and Ito looked at each other with wide eyes. They were not therapists, they did not know how to respond to any of this. Comfort? Was comfort the way? Maybe Kuroki would just like them to move on like usual and not treat him any differently? What if –?

Kuroki’s lips began to twitch upwards at the corners, and he tried pressing them together more thinly to hide this, but Enma saw.

“Hey! You can’t pull the trauma card for this!”

Ito groaned. “I’m putting in three peppers just for that.”

Kuroki hissed a curse.

~

Enma pressed his palms into his eyes, formulas dancing in his minds eye despite his best efforts. He had wanted to learn about magic, but not like this. He didn’t need math to know that spells moved through the air fast, and that people who were better at magic could throw them faster. He had seen it for his own eyes during that Overblot. He should get so much extra credit after that Overblot, enough that he shouldn’t have to do anything more in his math class – sorry, Personal Magical Ability class, it was definitely named that way just to trick people into it – to pass.

He was good at math, don’t get him wrong, but he also despised it for its monotony. Math was the reason that Enma hadn’t even considered going into the science field, back when the question of what he would study in university was his biggest concern in life.

At least Deuce was also in the class (so was Ace, though he was in a different period, and surprisingly good at math, able to do it all in his head far faster than Enma could do on paper… when he cared enough to try, that is), so he got to feel slightly smarter when he was teaching him the steps.

It was frustrating, though.

“Deuce… you have to account for gravity in your calculations, how do you forget gravity every time?! It’s gravity! Even Grim remembers gravity, and he doesn’t even follow its rules –!”

“Enma, relax, you’re going to make him cry,” Ito said, though they weren’t hitting him with their Alchemy textbook – Enma was pretty sure they only did that in hopes that it might break one day and free them of their hell – quite yet, so they couldn’t have been that upset.

“So this is what it’s like to be yelled at by your dad over math,” Kuroki said, idly flipping through his Animal Linguistics textbook. He had taken an interest in the mice that lived in their dorm, which was a little weird, but Enma wouldn’t say a word so long as they didn’t get another Fluffy. “Can’t say I missed out.”

“Are you ever going to let the ‘in-dorm dad’ thing go?” Enma said, momentarily distracted.

“Are you ever going to stop with the puns and scolding us when we’re ‘impolite’?” Ace said.

“Shut up and do your theater homework.”

“Theater shouldn’t have homework!” Ace snapped. “I’m not doing it out of principle!”

“Riddle is going to collar you again,” Grim said.

“No, he won’t. I will simply say ‘no’ and then he can’t.”

“Good luck with that,” Deuce said, grinning.

“It’s like he wants to be collared,” Enma said.

“Maybe he has a thing for it,” Kuroki mused. “Like Trey and his thing for teeth.”

Ace spluttered. “I don’t have a ki –!”

“Why the fuck are there so many similarly named things?” Ito cut in before that particular conversation could change the rating. They flipped back and forth between pages labeled Mandrake and Mandragora with an expression full of offense, as if they were being targeted specifically.

Kuroki shrugged. “Latin.”

“Latin is a beautiful language from which all of the best languages sprouted. Alchemy is a crime. Of the Devil. Literally awful.”

“What’s a ‘Latin’?” Ace said.

“Do your theater homework,” Kuroki said.

“I’ve already told you I won’t! It’s terrible and awful and shouldn’t be a thing –!”

“I’ll give you the answers,” Ito said, rolling their eyes.

“Oh, okay.”

“So it’s not a principle thing, then, is it?” Grim pointed out.

“Fuck off. I’m surprised you even know what that word means.”

~

Needless to say, they took a while to finish their homework. By the time Ace and Deuce were leaving, Enma was pretty sure he could hear Riddle yelling about their missed curfew from across campus. The guy got cranky when he had to stay up past his bedtime.

Speaking of, they put Grim to bed.

A shocking amount of people at Night Raven College could be likened to babies without much effort.

Not them, though. They were actually surprisingly disciplined.

Kuroki dropped onto the couch, spreading out despite the fact that Ito was already there, his legs thrown over their lap lazily. “Alright, weekly ‘what the fuck is wrong with this world’ meeting is now in session.”

Their meetings were getting less and less frequent, because… well…

“Politics class is just more of the ‘preying on the weak’ bullshit, but this time with a Sunset Savannah flavor. Still no evidence of anything besides Catholicism in Religion, but Father Frollo is definitely biased. Econ is still going over basic economic concepts, obviously,” Ito droned.

Yeah… turns out that the world they were in had a lot of things that they were supposed to know by 16 that the teachers weren’t bothering to recap for them.

Enma pressed his face into his hands for the second time that night. “Personal Magical Ability is… Personal Magical Ability. Magical Tech is still not past anything we have in our realities because apparently magic and tech took forever to actually mix without things blowing up. Magical Analysis is going over Overblots right now, and I think we’re good on that.”

“Yagujen are still beast men. Mermen are still fish guys. Animal languages are still hard to learn,” Kuroki said shortly. “Thus concludes this week's meeting.”

This begs the question of why they had these meetings in the first place…

Well, they like to complain.

“I hate my yajugen class. I’m the only non-yagujen in it. I feel weird.”

“We know, Kuroki,” Ito sighed.

“At least you’re not the only person in it like my magical tech class. I swear, I’m about five classes away from asking for a phone from the headmaster so I can go as a tablet, too.”

“We know, Enma,” said Ito.

“They keep calling me a ‘herbivore’. I swear that shit is a slur or something.”

Ito rubbed their eyes. “Alright. You can debate amongst yourselves, I’m going to go shower and sleep.”

“We’d stop debating if you just give your opinion,” Kuroki said, batting his eyelashes innocently.

“Nice try. Good night, guys.”

“Night,” they chorused, waving their friend off.

And then Enma and Kuroki immediately got back into it:

“It’s way more annoying to be the only one, he’s always looking at me so if I yawn I’m screwed –.”

“At least you don’t have to deal with all these fucking eyes on you all the time –!”

~

He glanced out the window, more than a little intimidated by the sheer amount of people pressing against the walls of the store, faces and hands flat against the glass, their only thoughts about how they would get more stuff if only they managed to be the first inside. A windowpane rattled when someone tested its strength. This must be what it was like to work during Black Friday in America.

He had heard tales of people paying to watch Americans during their weird ritual, and he had to admit that it was kind of fascinating.

He might have been more interested if they weren’t eyeing him like a horde in a zombie movie.

“Is it too late to refuse?”

Sam thought it over, his hand on the knob. “Are you willing to give back the extra groceries you bought with your advance paycheck?”

Enma’s head dropped forward, a silent admission of defeat.

A hand patted the top of his head. Sam was nowhere near him. This happened more often than he’d like to think about.

Luckily for him, he wouldn’t have to think about it for long!

The doors swung open, and people flooded in. A couple of people towards the front tripped, either because they were in a rush or because of the loose floorboards Sam claimed to have but Enma had never once seen for himself.

A fight immediately broke out over mittens. Why did these people need mittens during the first few days of November, on a campus where temperatures were controlled? Because they were on sale, obviously. What other reason is there to buy things? Need? Please.

Oh, right, Enma’s job.

“Hey, you can’t fight in here,” he said, exasperated.

One of the guys removed his hand from his opponent’s hair to flip him off.

Enma didn’t get paid enough for this.

At least the guy got punched in the face while his guard was down.

“How often do you have to tell people that?” Deuce asked by his shoulder, and Enma gave a manly scream as he whipped around to look at him. Deuce didn’t even look sheepish about it, the asshole. Enma was never going to give him a few dollars off again.

“You’re missing the sale,” he said, still clutching his chest.

Deuce shrugged nonchalantly. “I know, I’ve just been wondering... if we drag someone outside to fight them, is that okay?”

Has Enma mentioned that he didn’t get paid enough for this? Yes? Then he’d like to say it again.

He pressed his face into his hands, groaning. “Sure, man. Go for it.”

Deuce grinned despite his friend’s pain – or, perhaps, because of it – and gave him a single ‘comforting’ pat on the back before disappearing into the fray.

Enma sighed to himself.

But his day could only get worse from there.

“Enma-kun!” an unfortunately familiar voice cooed.

Fuck. Ruggie.

Listen, Enma was sure Ruggie was a swell guy. He just wasn’t a fun person for a cashier to encounter.

“Hi, Ruggie,” he greeted. “I’m not allowed to lower the prices any more than the sale already has. Don’t do this to me.”

“Are you sure?” Ruggie asked, a teasing lilt to his tone.

He breathed a sigh, his customer service smile already straining. He cast his eyes around until he found Deuce. Just in time to watch the boy ‘accidentally’ bodyslam someone into the ground for a carton of eggs, only for them to get stolen by someone else. It brightened his mood, if only slightly.

“There are lots of people around. If they hear me give you an extra discount, they’ll want one, too. I couldn’t give you one even if I wanted to.”

“That makes it seem like one is possible money-wise,” he continued to haggle.

“It’s not happening.”

Ruggie did not seem to like this answer, but he gave in when another Savanaclaw student nudged him, reluctantly paying the full price. Enma went into shock, staring at the money in Ruggie’s outstretched hand. It had never been that easy before.

Enma Yuuken has fallen in love, and the lucky lad’s name was Random Savanaclaw Student #3.

The Savanaclaw student that had once been his savior proceeded to bug him about prices as well.

Customer service workers should be allowed one murder a year, Enma thought dully.

Apparently, there was something up there that was listening and had a sense of humor, because things went wrong at that moment:

The person that Deuce had bodyslammed cried out, and Enma’s gaze shot to them just in time to see their arm get stepped on, forcing their elbow to bend inwards at an angle it wasn’t supposed to be able to make. He gave a sympathetic little hiss at the sight.

The person who had stepped on them shouted an apology, but they were small, and soon swept away by the crowd.

Okay, yeah, this had gone too far.

He grabbed a megaphone out from under the counter. It was supposed to be for emergencies, and he wasn’t sure if there was anything more ‘emergency’ than a crowd crush and someone actively being trampled.

“Everyone stop moving or the sale is canceled!”

A couple of people with animal ears groaned, their hands coming up to forcibly press their ears against their heads, trying to mute the sound. Enma felt a little bad.

Only a little bad, though, because Ruggie and Random Savanaclaw Student #3 hadn’t quite managed to worm their way out of the store yet and were now gritting their teeth, in pain. Deserved.

“You don’t have the jurisdiction to cancel the sale!” someone in the crowd piped up.

“That’s an improper use of the word ‘jurisdiction’,” Enma said.

The person flushed red and fell silent. Ha. Take that. Question his (nonexistent) authority and Enma will embarrass you in front of a crowd.

He started pushing his way forward until he could get to the injured person. Their arm was… well, it didn’t look much better up close.

Crapcrapcrap he wasn’t actually qualified to deal with this oh no oh no oh noohnoohno, he screamed internally.

“Why didn’t you just get off the floor?” Enma asked instead, because his brain-to-mouth filter had scrambled for something that didn’t sound panicky and had, apparently, overcompensated.

The student looked like he was going to cry. It was understandable, considering he had just gotten bodyslammed, trampled, and now berated for it. However, had he considered that Enma did not know how to handle someone crying. Or someone that had been bodyslammed and trampled. Truly, he was the one suffering here.

He located Sam, across the store, talking to Random Savanaclaw Student #3 about grocery drones. Ruggie seemed offended that he wasn’t also being hounded into buying more things – not because he wanted one, but because he wanted to say no to the offer.

“I’m gonna take him to the hospital wing real quick!” Enma called.

He got a thumbs-up in return.

So, Enma helped the Heartslabyul student to his feet and maneuvered him out of the store.

But this day would not be all terrible for Enma, because he was given some very vital information:

“There’s no way this is healing in time for the game,” the Heartslabyul student bemoaned.

Enma immediately perked up, turning to look at the boy more fully.

“There’s a game?!”

[tenkasato]

Hi hi😁 im really glad to catch ur requests open. Ten, would it be alright to adk for a comfort fic with Akashi and his insecure fem! best friend in their 20s? Like sure akashi is perfect abd all but with each other they can share their ups and downs as young adults navigating through life. They experience heartaches and breakups and drunk nights and happy moments, victories, failures, anxieties, hilarious moments etc that theyll remember forever. Theyve fought too and made up throughout the years. Theyre both confused with their careers and perosnal lives. Akashis more sure definitely but she doesnt know where shes going. I thinj this has thr potential to br a funny story hahaha. They just sypport one another always! Maybe they end up together in the end or just implied? Lots of fluff please!! Thank u so much. If it's too vague mayve just akashi tirelessly motivating her and believing in her always never once doubting her potential? You can of course tweak all the details to ur liking judt this general vibe is more than okay. Really need this one! (me im confused 20 something lol) thank you so so much this would mean the world to me.

Hi anon! Let me start by saying how much I adore this idea. I was thinking of how I could incorporate the scenes you listed. At first I was thinking of writing headcanons, but I think writing a narrative of Akashi’s POV will allow him to be more expressive. Anyways, without further ado… ^^

Pairings: Akashi Seijuro x bestfriend!reader

Akashi Seijuro knows what your every breath meant.

He watches you furrow your brows, pucker your lips and make a sharp exhale as you scan the list of entrance exam passers on the board. He waits for you to find your name (there, in the middle of the people sharing your surname. He’s seen it minutes ago), and when you finally did, he observes your sigh of relief.

A radiant smile stretches your lips.

“I passed,” you announce, as if he didn’t know yet.

“Of course,” he answers. His voice brims with confidence. If there’s anyone who could put her mind to something she wanted, it was his best friend.

“Come on, I’ll treat you!” you enthuse, hooking an arm around his as you walk away from the crowd.

Your breathe trembles. Excitement zapped in with flavors of anxiety. 

Even so, he’s glad you’re going to college with him.

– 0 – 

There are times when Akashi wishes you saw yourself with his eyes.

Your hair sits like a worn-out mop on your head. Light make-up smudged at the wrong places. Eyes rimmed with exhaustion, hurt and self-contempt. 

“I should’ve know,” you release a long-drawn groan. “I should’ve know he was a good-for-nothing jerk who just wanted me as some sort of a trophy!”

Akashi’s quiet gaze falls on your drink—warm milk, before a smile captures his lips. Who gets drunk on milk anyways?

“Am I not good enough, Sei?” you mewl. Your eyes are huge and watery, begging him to disagree. 

He sighs. “I warned you early on that that boy was nothing short of trouble. Did you at least heed my words?”

You wince and lay your head over your folded arms. With another groan, you snuggle to the side of his arm. “I need my best buddy right now. Not a father.”

“And a friend I am,” he says. He thinks it over, and then, “He is blind.”

“What?”

“You are a supremely flawed human being. We all are. Needless to say, you are a definitely a cut above many.”

You hear the tease in his voice, narrow your eyes and huff. “Is that your way of comforting me?”

Akashi remembers the time you lightheartedly prepare a meal for your now ex-boyfriend. He recalls the genuine emotions dancing in your eyes. He hears your hopeful voice, the one that carries a song of future promises. 

He wishes you’d see yourself through his eyes.

“No, it’s my way of telling you the truth.”

– 0 – 

Akashi thinks you’re like the moon. Meek and fluctuating.

When you were kids, you always shied away from the adults. You preferred to play with him at the garden or in his room. 

Whenever he invited you out to one of the family busines dinners, you begrudgingly tagged along. The polite smile on your face never left, but he could see hints of unease in the way you kept close to him.

When with his friends or teammates in Teiko, you’d exchange pleasantries, indulge them in small talks and even spill supposedly embarrassing things about him. He’d feel you stealing glimpses of him as you looked for reassurance.

“I think you’re like the sun, Sei,” you tell him one time, during the heat of an argument he’d rather not have. It was one of those times when you two walk home together in the swell of the night, university work keeping you both out longer than normal. 

You’ve stopped on your tracks, and instead, you’re glaring at him. 

“Pardon?” he says.

“I said, you’re like the sun. It’s like you’re meant to rule the skies. You’ve got everything figured out. You’ve got your path laid out for you, and all you need to do is walk over it.”

Akashi finally faces you. It’s then that he notices the slight glimmer in your eyes. Tears from you are rare, and that is why seeing them adorning your gaze makes his chest ache.

“I meant no offense,” Akashi explains. “All I am trying to say is that this indecision might deter you from realizing the things you really want.”

“But what can I do about it? I’m not so sure what I want to do. You think shifting courses is easy?”

He shakes his head. “I did not say that. But you need to start making choices that you wouldn’t second think at the last moment and waste valuable time.”

Your eyes flare at the jab. “Someone like you won’t understand what it’s like to be unsure and lost. You’re talented, smart and versatile. On the other hand, I have to work thrice as hard just to get by each day. I bet you’ve never experienced feeling empowered and ready to take the world one second, only to run out of fumes the next moment.”

A choked noise rumbles your throat as you inspire some air. 

“And unlike you, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon up my ass! Stop pretending as if you understand me at all!”

The hurt etches itself on his face, you realize too late.

“Ah… Seijuro, I didn't mean to…” you begin, but he walks ahead of you.

“Let’s go home,” he tells you, not wanting to talk further.

The silence of the aftermath kills you, but it also kills him too, knowing that he could’ve told you about how he thinks the moon glows brighter at nights.

– 0 – 

Akashi knows he isn’t infallible.

He’s been beaten by you in a game of cards multiple times when you were seven. He’s fallen a flight of stairs once, and just when he thought no one saw, a blast of laughter emanated from you. He’s worn clothes that were 'outrageously heinous’ according to you. He’s made you cry before, many times—sometimes because of the most mundane and pettiest of things such as eating your dessert accidentally, but sometimes because of almost irreparable damages such as when he told you he needed no one else but himself.

It was a lie of course, and you knew it.

So when he went home after Rakuzan’s defeat at the hands of Seirin, you were there, perched on his bed. Glowing with warmth. 

“I figured you want to watch movies with me?” you said with a wry smile. You gestured at the cups of hot chocolate by his lamp.

He wasn't perfect. He won't ever be, but he figures that that's okay.

– 0 – 

Akashi can tell when you're nervous.

"I'm so nervous, Sei," you verbalize his thoughts out loud, going over the mirror to strip down to your underclothes.

Akashi ducks, keeping his eyes back to his phone. "Will you please change in private?" he asks, peeved.

"What," you stick out your tongue, putting on that long, cream dress. It falls until your ankles. "We used to run around buck naked in the river when we were younger."

"Emphasis on the younger."

You try to pull the back zipper up, but it proves to be challenging given the low level cut of the dress. Instead, you walk towards him with your hand holding the fabric behind your back. With the other hand on your hip, you ask, "Well? Classy enough?"

"They say it's a trick question when a woman asks about how she looks."

"I'm serious," you hiss.

"You look presentable," he gives in, smiling a bit.

You beam at him before turning back towards the mirror. As you pick up a tube of lipstick, Akashi notices the journal sitting atop your desk.

"Hey, thanks for agreeing to this," you say all of the sudden, unknowingly disrupting his train of thoughts. "I just needed someone to be my date for this event. Otherwise, they'll accuse me of wasting a free ticket… that or, they call me unsociable. That's going to make me feel like crap again."

Akashi sighs for the umpteenth time that day, staring down at the yellowing cover and multi-colored marks of your worn-out journal. It’s the notebook he gave you a few years ago. Hands hovering above the worn out notebook, he says, "You need not to feel like crap just because there are scrutinizing eyes watching you."

"You don't get it," you reply. "This is huge for me and my career. If I screw up—"

"You will rise back," he completes the sentence for you. Akashi holds your nervous gaze, then adds, "Adversaries are meant to defeat us until we gain enough strength and means to overcome. Don't be daunted by the possibility of failure.

"Refrain from holding yourself back, and start believing in people when they tell you about how amazing you are in your own rights."

The monumental pause and gawking you give him is enough to make him grin.

Turning away before he sees your eyes glisten, you harrumph, "Always so flowery in your words, Sei. Whatever. Help me pull this zipper up, will you?"

Grin widening, he ambles over to you to do just that. 

– 0 –

There are a number of things Akashi constantly wonders about.

For example, he wonders why you always make a fuss about him. You were also like this before. When he lost his mother, you did everything to fill up the gaping hole.

“Hmm, should you use this tie?” you ask, placing the said clothing article over his chest, “or this black one? I think the black one fits you better than this red one, hmm?”

You toss the chosen tie on the chair before he can let a word out. You proceed on rummaging through his closet, muttering under your breath about how rich Akashi is and how having too many clothes to choose from is a bother.

Akashi chuckles and grabs the tie you selected. “Calm down.”

“Calm down?” you repeat, incredulous. “You’re going out on a date! You have to look your absolute best, otherwise you’re going to live down that regret for the rest of your life!”

“An exaggeration,” he remarks. “And to set the record straight, this is hardly the first time I am going out to dinner with someone.”

“Damn right, it's not. But you wouldn't know if you’d actually be dating your soulmate, right? Better make a good impression.”

He wants to argue that he doesn't at all consider it a date. It was a dinner meeting his father set-up, one with the heir of a promising business partner. And still, you frantically run around his room like a madman who is at her wits end. 

He looks at your back fondly.

Here you are, young adults venturing out on new chapters of your life—still going hand in hand, inseparable. You have always been there to keep him grounded. And he, in turn, never fails to guide you back when you seem to stray away. 

"Please get it right this time," he hears you mumble as you finally emerge from his towering closet. "Your dates never seem to work out, for Pete's sake, Sei. I'm starting to think you're the problem here."

"I just do not like being in a hurry."

"Yeah, sure," you reply, completely unconvinced. "But it is weird. You're like the best, ideal guy out there. No one compares to you!"

You stare down at him as he stares back with a painted gaze. Giving up, you sigh and shake your head, shooting him an affectionate smile as you hand him his gray dress shirt.

"Bachelor of the year, they say. I wonder why the hell you're still single," you laugh.

He wonders too. 

And he wonders whether it has anything to do with that saccharine smile of yours.

Taglist: @shakethatsassyass

[naviavu]

Can I ask if you can do obey me younger brothers finding out that mc lives in an an abusive household? Thank you. No rush.

everyone, thank you for patiently waiting!

tags: reader has a very abusive past, implied sexual assault, gore (not towards the reader), comfort (by the brothers toward mc), overall tackles explicit abuse. please heed the tags and do not read if it makes you uncomfortable in any way. not beta read, very sorry if there are mistakes!

part i (older brothers) // part ii (satan and asmo) // part iii (the twins)

╰┈➤  masterlist

BEELZEBUB

“Beel, if you don’t mind me asking… what was your duty in the Celestial Realm?” 

“Hm?” Beel takes another bite of Devilizza. “I was the Heavenly Gate’s High Guard. It was my duty to protect the Celestial Realm from foreign dangers before they get in.”

“What if… they get in?” 

Beel chews away. “Then the internal guards will take care of it, it’s out of my bounds. But I will get scolded by Michael afterward,” He flashes a cute smile, little crumbs decorating the edge of his grin. You smile back. You couldn't help it if it was Beel. “Not to brag, but to be honest, that happened only once every century. Lucifer waits for me outside Michael’s study and tells me how great I am for intercepting every enemy at a far distance. He tells me to not mull over it and that Michael has a very big stick up his ass.” 

You can’t help but tear up again. Your heart aches, wondering how it is like to be appreciated and have someone have your back.

For someone to acknowledge that you’re doing a great job.

For someone to acknowledge your existence. 

Beel feels your head softly lean on his shoulder. And then, your quiet sobs. “MC? Did I say something wrong?”

You force a smile through your tears. “No, Beel. I just… I’m very thankful you had that kind of life. Good people… are a luxury.” Sitting alone with him in the planetarium in the middle of the night, it’s easy for your tears to fall. 

Beel frowns. He does not like the tone of your words, and it worries him. “What do you mean, MC? Are there people who were not kind to you?” To be honest, he doesn’t know if he even wants you to answer that. But he knows that he’ll regret it if he doesn’t ask. “You aren’t eating like the way you used to. Is this connected with each other?”

You thought about the times that Beel left you food outside your door, and the times that you secretly tried to throw it away without any of the brothers knowing. “Who would be kind to someone like me, Beel? I’m worthless, ungrateful, ugly–” 

He covers your mouth, in disbelief at the words you said about yourself. “You’re not any of that, MC!” 

Truthfully, Beel is at loss on what to do. Out of all brothers, he’s the one that immediately acknowledges that no amount of violence can change the fact that you were hurt in the past.

The thought kills him inside and regret fills his chest.

“Oh god. I’m sorry for suddenly saying all that, Beel, please don’t feel bad about me.

He gently wipes your tears with his thumb. “I… I’m concerned about your well-being, MC. Is there anything I could do to help?”

You sigh. “Just don’t pity me, please. Or treat me differently. That would hurt me a lot, Beel.”

He only nods in response, purple eyes glimmering with worry. From that day on, Beel swears to be your protector.

On RAD, he’s like a shadow. He can’t help it, MC, he knows you told him to not treat you differently but here he is guarding you with all his might that it scares your other demon friends away sometimes. 

He encourages you to eat healthily and on time. Too busy studying for your next exam that you forgot dinner? Beel will be right outside your door, bringing meals with him. 

On days that you would like to be left alone, Beel would give you space. But if days pass, he’ll be alarmed and try to coax you out of your bed to at least take a bath. 

You can’t say no to him, can you? It’s the first time that you felt genuine compassion and help with no payment. It’s almost hard to accept. 

Of course, he succeeds in bringing your walls down, and the moment you open up your heart to him will feel like a dam breaking and thorns plucked out of your chest at the same time. Relieving. 

The thought of getting back at your abusers crosses his mind, yes, his main priority is your happiness so he eventually forgets about it. 

But if the moment comes that your abusers try to find you again, Beel will not hesitate to strike twice. 

BELPHEGOR

The rope in your hands feels like your life line. 

It was all set: the stool on the ground, the strong steel that hung from your ceiling that you nailed shut so that you don’t embarrass yourself and end up falling on the fall after you jump. 

It’s so fucking dramatic you could laugh. Barely any people hang themselves these days, you only ever saw that shit on movies for comedic effect.

Guess your death will be comedic too. 

You decided to scroll one last time to your DDD for the sake of old times. It was worn, broken, and used. 

The only thing you thought beautiful in it is your wallpaper: a picture taken by Beel of you and Belphegor, cuddling in the attic. Your head on his chest. His chin on top of his hair. His hands around your waist.

Oh god, his hands.

The very same hands that choked you to death and pushed you down the stairs.

You cackle, and it sounded too broken to be human.

You’re so fucked up, the voice inside your head tells you, falling in love with the person who caused you your demise. 

You finally step up the stool. 

Belphegor, Belphegor, Belphegor… I love you.

You practiced well. You wrap the rope on your neck and try to secure the knot. 

After a few tugs, you realize that it got stuck. 

No, no no no… 

You truly are a failure, and those people who told you that were right. 

Your mind goes blank and all you could do is scream, cry, shout, as your try your absolute best in tying and untying the rope. You remove your head from the rope and step down from the stool, throwing it on the mirror in front of you and there’s a person–

There’s a person.

Wide-eyed. 

Shaking. 

Terrified purple eyes looking right at you. 

“MC? You– you were calling for me. You summoned me here so I thought it was an emergency or you just wanted to see me,” His voice cracks. His heart beats unbearably loud as he scans the room. 

Rope. Stool. Meds on the table. Scribbled notes with each brother’s name on it, with his sitting on the topmost. Your DDD in the home screen, the wallpaper in full display.

And you, oh you. 

Sitting on the ground shaking, sobbing, with your eyes so tired and screams exhaustion. 

Your heart missed the demon that’s in front of you. Then, your heart burns with anger and humiliation. “Belphegor… I need you to leav–” 

He’s by your side, clasping your mouth. “I won’t let you use that damn pact on me, MC. Let’s go home.” 

As he takes you back to Devildom, you scream again. Shout again. Squirm on his grasp, try scratching and kicking everywhere. Curse him. Damn him for taking away the only choice in life that would bring you eternal peace. Damn him for arriving at the time that you were at your weakest. Damn him for taking advantage of that weakness again, just like how he took advantage of that day in the attic.

Tell him he's a piece of shit for manipulating and killing you. 

Tell him that you're as much of a piece of shit for loving him despite all that happened. 

And that you’ll forgive him eventually for taking and saving your life. 

The House of Lamentation panics the moment Belphegor brings you home, and you’re taken away by the other brothers while he spends his time away in the planetarium thinking about what you said. He’s so sorry, MC. He’ll do anything to prove that in this lifetime.

He gives you pleasant dreams while you recover. He gives you hope, innocent childhood memories, and bright visions for the future. 

His heart beats out of his chest when he realizes that despite all of it, you still long to see his white-tipped hair and indigo eyes.

It’s hard to see each other again after recovery, there’s a suffocating silence whenever both of you are alone with each other. 

Then, slowly and carefully, you find yourselves talking to each other again. Laughing with each other again. Arguing with each other again, that ends with tears and apologies and finally, mature conversations.

Cuddling in the attic again. Holding you in his arms again.

Belphegor would never, ever do the same mistakes again.

a/n: and there we go! the last part of the series (hehe… jk… unless) i started writing this for a request, and as i was writing it, it kinda became like a coping mechanism for me lol. i’d like to think that while the brother has different ways of reacting/showing their concern, all of them would still put your well-being on the top. there were a lot of asks requesting for this, and i really hope that everyone who read this particular series is all doing well in their lives and are in a safe place. please take care of yourselves.