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dwobbitfromtheshire · 10 months

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Stuck Between a Jock and a Metalhead

Summary: Nancy, on a whim, decides to visit Steve at Scoops Ahoy, which leads to her overhearing confessions from Steve that leads her to think about the decisions she's made. A few days later, she decides to come back. She finds him being hit on by the town freak. What's a girl to do? Oh, get stuck in a freezer with the both of them.

A/N: Oops, I made this chapter a little angsty. I do love Nancy now, flaws and all. Oh, the title is a play on for stuck between a rock and a hard place. Thought it was funny.

Chapter One

Nancy Wheeler was confident in her decisions, to say the least. She never really doubted when she was in the right. It was a constant struggle, though, to look at someone's else's side of things. It was why she loved looking at the facts, put plain and simply before her. The facts are that she was interning at the local newspaper and that the news reporters seemed to hate women or look down on them at least. They surely didn't respect them.

"I mean, like what year are we in now? There are tons of female news reporters. Get ahead of the times!" Nancy complained.

"Well, there's a reason why people call this town so conservative. Will this town ever be willing to change?" Steve asked, shaking an invisible magic eight ball. "Sources say: unlikely. I mean, now, they really won't be subject to change with the way this mall moved in and took away their businesses."

"The same mall you work at?" Nancy asked in amusement. "By the way, what the hell are you wearing?"

"I can't believe you're just now noticing. This is my uniform," Steve said and flipped the hat back onto his head.

Nancy had stopped by Scoops Ahoy after coming into the mall to try to find Holly a birthday gift. She had spotted Steve behind the counter and had to stop in. Now, here they were, in the back room conversing like old friends. Steve stood up from the table and slowly twirled around before striking a pose. His back was to her, and he peered over his shoulder, his hand over his mouth as though he was shocked. His rear end was sticking out. He looked like he got caught doing something he shouldn't. Nancy burst into a fit of giggles.

"You're an idiot, Steve Harrington," Nancy said softly.

"And you're - uh - anyway, yes, this is my uniform. It's completely fucking embarrassing but not as embarrassing as being too stupid to get into anywhere," Steve said.

"Despite what I said before, you're not stupid. Although, you can be an idiot at times. It's not who you are, and if your dad ever makes you feel like that, then just send him my way. I'll kick his ass," Nancy said.

"You're the only person in the world I believe could actually take that asshole," Steve said.

"Thanks. I should probably go. I told mom I would be home soon," Nancy said, getting up.

"One thing first, and I'm not sure it was my place to say, but this job of yours. . .you're not getting paid, your skills aren't being put to good use, you have to ask what else am I getting out of this? What else am I learning?" Steve asked.

"Well, I'm learning what not to do," she said, and he laughed.

"You know, it's okay to give up something that's not working for you, and it's okay to fight for it. Whatever decision that works best for you, Nancy, it's okay," Steve said.

"Stop saying okay. I hate that word," Nancy said softly.

It made her stomach turn the way he said it softly, reminding her of the way he said it that night he told her to go with Jonathan. A small portion of guilt nestled in her stomach. She shook it away and smiled.

"It was good to see you again, Steve," Nancy said. "We should talk again soon."

"Definitely," Steve grinned. "Did I help at all?"

"Yeah, actually, you did," Nancy said.

As she walked out of the break room, she passed Steve’s co-worker Robin. She gave Nancy the stink eye. She wondered if it was because she thought there was something between her and Steve. Was Robin jealous of her? Did she want to date Steve? Or was she dating Steve? God, Nancy hoped not. She blushed, realizing that she had no right to be jealous of someone she didn't have any interest in anymore. . .or did she? Nancy walked briskly away, moving out of the parlor and towards the exit as quickly as possible. Halfway towards the exit, Nancy realized that she had left her purse. When she walked back in, there was a closed for lunch sign out front. She went in and headed towards the break room. She paused by the door when she heard her name.

"You're friends with your ex?" Robin asked. "That's a little. . . Unusual."

"I take what I can get," Steve said.

"What does that mean?" She asked and paused. "What? Are you still in love with her?"

Nancy sucked in a breath and waited hopefully for the right answer.

"I mean, I don't know. I guess so. How does one fully stop loving Nancy Wheeler?" Steve asked. "I just want her to be happy. If Jonathan makes her happy, then I'm happy, too."

"It doesn't kill you inside every time you hang out to see her with another guy?" Robin asked.

"Well, this is the first time we hung out in a while. After it all. . .ended, Nancy invited me to have lunch with her Jonathan, but I couldn't. . .it was too painful. I spent lunch in my car blasting Careless Whisper and crying. I got my heart broken, and I didn't have any friends. I mean, the friends I had I walked away from. They were assholes, yes, but I knew Tommy all of my life, and he wasn't always like that. My parents were never home, still aren't, and I just had no one. The kids I started to babysit helped a lot, but considering they were kids and one of them was Nancy's brother, I couldn't exactly talk to them about this," Steve said. "Before we broke up, I tried everything to befriend Jonathan because I knew how much he meant to Nancy. I guess I just didn't want to admit how much."

Nancy pressed her hand to her mouth, tears filling her eyes as she tried to muffle her sobs. She didn't know anything about all of that or the fact that Steve tried to make friends with Jonathan.

"You didn't want to lose her. The fact that you tried to befriend him says a lot about you," Robin said. "I wouldn't have been able to do that."

"I can't hate her for making the choice that she did. I was never enough to be it for her, but I respect her choice even if I don't like it. I can't force her - " Steve choked up. "I can't force her to love me."

"So pathetic," Robin said softly with a hint of affection and Steve laughed.

"Definitely pathetic," Steve said and paused. "I miss her so much that it's stupid. I just wish that I could move on. I think I'm trying too hard. I guess I can't force that either."

"I think I can help with that," Robin said in a mischievous voice. "It requires me taking over the whiteboard, though. What are your preferences?"

"Men, women," Steve said.

"I meant like how do you want me to tease you mercilessly while I do this, but that is. . . That is good to know," Robin said. "Um, right, thanks for telling me."

Crying softly, Nancy quietly and quickly walked away. She'd get her purse some other time. She ran all the way to the bathroom and locked herself in a stall. What he had said then was something she always suspected about Steve, but she never asked, never wanted to be pushy about that part of his life in case he wasn't aware, but turns out, he was. It was all the other stuff that was overwhelming her. She couldn't stop picturing Steve alone in his car, crying. She had so wanted to believe that he had been fine, that he wouldn't be affected by what happened. Or maybe she just hoped that he wouldn't care because it was easier to escape the fact that she fucked up. She didn't intend to hurt Steve, but she did it anyway, and maybe there was another reason why she didn't want to think about how he felt or that moment at the school. She didn't want to think about him walking away from her after begging her to tell him that she loved him. She didn't want to think about him telling her it was okay or hearing him call himself a shitty boyfriend. It was easier to ignore all of that than to admit that she didn't feel like she deserved him.

Jonathan doesn't deserve for her to think that way either because her relationship with him means something, doesn't it? Everything happened so quickly. Maybe that was why she wanted it to happen so fast. Why she had acted the way she did with her feelings for Jonathan? She wanted to destroy her relationship with Steve, to make him hate her the way she hated herself, and she wanted him to feel guilty the way that she did with Barb. She was so mad at her before she died. Why couldn't Barb have understood that it was her choice to have sex with Steve? That the moment he talked to her, it was decided, and the very moment his lips touched hers. She bought a new bra, bought a new sweater, and she even lied to her mom about why she needed birth control.

"This isn't you, Nance," Barb had said.

"Why couldn't you have just gone home?" Nancy whispered to the empty bathroom.

The real person she wanted to be angry with was Barb, and how grotesque was that? How could she be angry at Barb for being in the wrong place at the wrong time? No, because if Barb had gone home and just let her make her choice, then Barb would still be alive. Nancy's stomach rolled. That's what Steve represented, not his guilt because he did nothing, but her own for being so angry with Barb before she died and for being angry after. The real person to be angry with, she knew, was Dr. Brenner. He was the man who started all of this, who led Barbara to her death. If she could bring him back and kill him again, she'd kill him a thousand times. She couldn't go down that road again. She knew the risks she took when she sought justice for Barb. She risked the whole damn town to do it. She wasn't sure she could put something like on Steve again because she still loved him, and he deserved better than that. Nancy wiped her face and came out of the bathroom to find Robin leaning against the wall. She was holding her purse.

"You left this. I saw you run in here. Damn, you're fast," Robin said and handed her the purse.

"Thanks," Nancy said, taking the purse and Robin narrowed her eyes at her.

"You came back for the purse. You heard us," Robin said, and Nancy didn't say anything. "You still love him."

"He deserves better," Nancy said.

"Doesn't he also deserve to make that choice for himself?" Robin asked.

"I - why do you care so much?" Nancy asked.

"I'm a firm believer in second chances. Without them, I wouldn't be here. My mother thought she'd never see my father again or to tell how she felt, but the chance came around again, so . . . Here I am," Robin said, raising her hands up in a shrug. "Gotta believe that there's hope for everyone."

Nancy stared at her for a moment, trying to figure her out. She washed her hands and dried them off.

"Don't tell Steve about this," Nancy said softly.

"Tell him what?" Robin shrugged and left the bathroom.

When Nancy walked into the house, Holly was playing barber shop with Mike's hair while he screeched that she was pulling his hair on purpose. Judging by the mischievous look on Holly's face, she was. Nancy smiled and shook her head before walking into the kitchen where her mother was making lunch.

"Hey, Nance. Did you find what you were looking for at the mall?" Karen asked.

"I think so," Nancy said softly as she stared at her mother.

She realized then where the choice she made with Jonathan was leading her. It was the path that she thought Steve would lead her down to: an unhappy marriage. She still liked Jonathan right now, and she wanted to continue to like him. Not that her mom didn't love her dad. It's just that she didn't like him very much. She wanted a partner that she not only liked but loved as well.

"We like Steve, but we don't love Steve," Murrary had taunted.

Nancy blushed furiously. He had been wrong. She should have said something then, defended Steve then because it was true. She liked Steve, and she loved him too. As much as she cared for Jonathan, as much as she liked him, she didn't love him the way that she loved Steve. The more she thought about Steve, the more she started to remember everything that she loved about their relationship. She remembered nights when they would curl up and watch Tom Cruise movies. They would both gush and giggle over him. Thinking about it now, he definitely had a crush on him like she did. She remembered watching him bake, and when a Bob Seger song came on, he would pull her in his arms to dance. He wasn't afraid to let her lead either. It wasn't just Bob Seger. It was Queen, Bowie, and Madonna. Occasionally, it was stuff like Eddie Van Halen, too. She loved the fact that he didn't just have a particular genre that he loved. He appreciated all sorts. And when she had to babysit Holly, he would come over to help, and he was always so good with her. He was good with both Holly and Mike. She loved the way that he wasn't afraid to be an absolute dork. Her dad was a quiet man, but he always some managed to pull a conversation out of Ted, and he loved to help her mother in the kitchen. She remembered all if without the cloud of guilt weighing her down.

"Nancy, honey, are you okay?" Karen asked.

"I messed everything up," Nancy burst into tears.

Chapter Two

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morsmortish · 3 months

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i see you vague posting about a “bones and all” AU, i need more!!!

oh how glad i am you asked. there are many thoughts, many many many things to say.

i gotta admit i only watched bones and all for the first time a few weeks ago but all i could think about the whole time was how similar lee and barty were and then i started listening to a shitload of ethel cain and then i gave in to the voices and started properly thinking about a rosekiller au of all of it combined- i would say while i’ve tagged it as a bones and all au, it’s more of a hybrid of bones and all AND preachers daughter AND all my whirring thoughts on religiously traumatised bcj. (plus i’ve always had a soft spot for cannibalism imagery, which is probably only slightly concerning.)

the plan for the fic is to follow the rough plotline of bones and all (two cannibals on a road trip that fall in love) with a few tweaks. controversially, barty occupies the role that maren has in the film, but only in the sense that he is the main protagonist, and the story is more following his journey of self acceptance than it is of evan’s, who fills lee’s role as the ‘love interest’ who helps barty discover himself and then…well, dies. lee himself is so so barty but i think some of his traits and experiences (i’m solely thinking of the “do you think i’m a bad person?” to “am i bad? am i bad? thread for this) can and will still be a part of barty’s characterisation here.

there are some key changes to the film in this au though. for starters, barty crouch junior is going to be carrying a Hell Of A Lot of religious trauma. i want his dad to be a preacher, the pair of them living in a small town together. barty’s mother is dead, and barty is made to feel sort of responsible for this. the cannibalistic urges he has are kept under lock and key by his father, who essentially tries to scare him off of acting on them, using the threat of what happened to bcj’s mother as a kind of ‘ammunition’ (it makes sense in my head i swear). i want things to be getting progressively worse in this town, barty not being able to control himself as he gets older, i want his father leaving him to fend for himself one day. i want barty fleeing his town as they line up with metaphorical (or literal!) pitchforks outside his front door, and i want him meeting evan a few days later. i want them embarking on a mission to find barty’s father, but, unlike maren and lee, evan and barty are on a road trip to find and kill this old fucker.

evan is a difficult character for me to latch on to in this. he’s similar to lee in the way that he has left his town, he has a (twin) sister waiting for him back home, he’s USED to this life now. he’s very circumstancially (is that a word?) similar to lee, but, because he’s Evan Rosier, he’s just a weird little freak. he fills the ‘part’ of lee in the story but his personality is entirely evan. i want him being off-puttingly pedantic about the people he eats, the way he eats them, how he disposes of the evidence. like lee, he has a system for how to take advantage of his victim’s belongings, but it’s much more meticulous, almost mechanical. he’s somewhat detached from the whole thing. he loves the rhythm of eating someone, unlike barty, who much more resembles a rabid dog. he’s got a system for how he is going to live his life all laid out, and he’s not the most accommodating when barty tries to butt in and change everything around by dragging him along on some harebrained revenge scheme against his own dad. but he can’t help but get sucked into barty’s aura and he can’t help but (albeit reluctantly) drive him all across america in a fuckass truck.

that’s a sort of (extraordinarily long) backdrop for this fic. at its core it IS a bones and all au, but there’s so much to unpack in terms of barty’s religious trauma, which i think will pair so nicely with the cannibalism (↤ top ten phrases ever???). there’s also evan and pandora and their backstory, and don’t even get me STARTED on tom riddle and his Death Eaters (the clue is in the goddamn name).

BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING ROYAL, you’ve given me such a lovely opportunity to ramble about my thoughts and i’m spiritually lying on my bed giggling and kicking my legs any time i get to reply to an actual ask that an actual someone has actually asked me. the issue is i’m notoriously bad at actually writing these ideas, so this may end up staying as a very developed concept, with a pinterest board, a playlist, a tumblr tag…you get the gist.

#a #fic: i hope we die today #↤ NAME CREDS from my lovely lovely irene #something about an unreleased ethel cain song????#i have many words to say and a lot of them Don’t Make Sense #i’m loving getting to write down long paragraphs of my silly little thoughts #i have lots and lots to say and i will grasp any opportunity to do so #rosekiller #t

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restinslices · 10 months

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Liar Pt2

Me finally writing the part 2?! Wow! So this part is honestly filler. It's Matthias being in his own head and meeting Nina, who will become an ally. Imma be real, nothing happens BUT LISTEN- it's setting shit up. Have faith. Enjoy his mental crisis. Druskelle!Matthias Helvar x Heartrender!Wife!Reader (she does not make an apperance-) Word Count: 2059 Summary: Ever since you've left, Matthias has had conflicting thoughts about your relationship and it's driving him insane, but an unlikely friend makes him realize not all hope is lost. Y/N - Your Name D/N - Daughter Name Link to part 1

(Lowkey should've used this gif for part 1 and part1's for this, but rip)

“Dear my love and life,

I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should say sorry again for the whatever thousandth time. I never know how to start these, so I always say I’m sorry. I wish Djel gave me the power to go back in time and fix the mistakes I’ve made. I wish I could go back and hug you when you told me about you being Grisha, instead of pushing you away. I wish I would’ve held you and told you I’d forever love you instead of calling you a witch. I wish when I woke up, I had my wife beside me and my daughter in the room next to ours. I have lots of wishes, and since I can’t change the past, I have a wish that’s selfish and cruel.

I wish you both were dead. I wish that the Druskelle had found and killed you two, or all of you instead of just Elise and Erik.

I know I sound terrible, but not knowing where you are or how you are hurts more than you two being dead. I wish that one day, I’m sitting at home and someone comes in to say they found and killed you both.

Am I a bad person for thinking this? I’ve heard rumors about other countries. I’ve heard Ravka trains their children for war. I’ve heard Shu Han does terrible experiments on Grisha. I’ve heard in The Wandering Isle that the Kaelish kill Grisha so they can drink their blood. I’ve heard in Kerch, Grisha are put under contracts and basically become slaves. I’d rather you be dead than go through any of that.

My love, you remember the day I proposed to you. I know you do. What you don’t know is that the night before I did so, I sat outside for hours. I couldn’t possibly sleep when I was terrified about what I was gonna do. I saw a star that shined brighter than the others, and for some reason, I thought it could be Djel watching over me. I prayed and begged Djel to convince you to say yes, and you did.

Maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I’m too busy wishing, instead of praying, but I haven’t felt like praying in so long. Maybe if I find that star again, he’ll hear me better like he did the first time. Maybe I’ll get another chance and we’ll all run away. Maybe-”

“Anything going on up there?” the Grisha woman asked.

Matthias found himself writing a lot since you left. Not in some diary though. He’d write letters to you and his daughter, then throw them in the fireplace and watch it be engulfed in flames.

At first the letters were angry and full of betrayal. You lied to him for years. You used him. That’s what he thought at first.

It had been days and you hadn’t been caught. He happened to have paper and ink around him, so he wrote this letter filled with insults, profanities and accusations, then he threw it in the fireplace. Although he wrote all this down, about how you were a liar and a witch, he didn’t go with the druskelle to try and capture you. Others assumed that your “witchcraft” made him still feel sick, but in reality, Matthias knew deep down that if he saw you he wouldn’t be able to take the shot. He would’ve been expected to either kill or capture his ex wife and child and he knew he couldn't. You were his love, and once your daughter was born, you both promised each other to make her number one in your lives. You’d raise her with love and guidance and make sure she never knew a lonely day. You even promised each other that if one was to die, the other had to keep going everyday even if they didn’t want to. You both promised to make her your whole life. Now he was expected to forget all about that. He wanted to forget all about you, but he couldn’t.

His letters went from angry to pleading. Sometimes his letters would be destroyed by his own tears before it even reached the fire. This especially happened whenever an important date passed, like your daughter’s birthday. It hit him hard then. The loneliness became more apparent. Matthias had quit being a Druskelle, telling Brum some bullshit about how his head still didn’t feel right and he didn’t want to mess something up. In reality, being a Druskelle didn’t feel right anymore. His brothers gave him sympathy, saying you were evil and he was strong for realizing this and breaking out of your spell, but it didn’t make sense. When people look back at their memories with a manipulator or abuser, they notice signs. They see things they didn’t see before. And while Matthias did indeed notice signs that you were Grisha, he didn’t see any signs of evil.

Matthias knew you even before his family was killed, and you stood by him as he mourned. You stayed even when he was sure you’d leave. How could you possibly be evil? It didn’t make sense.

Matthias doesn’t know why he accepted Brum’s offer to go on another exploration. Maybe it was loneliness. He had practically isolated himself for two years. No more you. No more D/N. No more brotherhood.

Or maybe he was hoping somehow they’d find you and he’d be able to escape with you.

Either way, he accepted. A mistake.

The boat ended up sinking and Matthias was sure he’d die, until he suddenly felt his heart speeding up in his chest. When he came to, he realized one of the Grisha, a heartrender with brown hair and a smart mouth, had saved him. Granted, it was just so he could push them to shore, but at least he was breathing.

They found a hut, slept by each other, and that’s when he realized two things.

Number one, your wedding ring, which he always kept in his pocket, was gone.

Number two, when the woman sped his heart up so he stayed warm, it felt familiar. It was how he felt when he laid next to you. He always assumed that maybe his heart beat so fast because being near you was the greatest honor and he hadn’t gotten used to it. He’d still say that was true, but the reality was that you used your power to keep him warm every single night. If he hadn’t been around someone, he might’ve cried.

He heard fingers snapping next to his ear. “Druskelle? Anyone up there?”.

Matthias blinked hard to snap himself out of his thoughts, then cleared his throat. His eyes had been on the fire in front of him the whole time, as if he could burn his letter like he usually did. He looked to the side as the woman sat next to him. He couldn’t even remember what they were talking about.

It was as if she read his mind since next she said, “you were telling me all about Fjerdan woman then you stopped. Hoping one appears?”.

“Yes” he answered without thinking.

~~~

Matthias refused to answer any of her questions. In all honesty, she was annoying him. She was incredibly nosey and kept insisting they were lost, but they couldn’t have been lost because Druskelle didn’t get lost! All trees look the same! Rocks look the same! A certain patch of snow looked the same as other patches of snow!

They were lost. Dammit.

Matthias sat on a big rock with a flat top in defeat. What good was being alive if they were just gonna freeze to death?

The woman sat next to him, “I’m gonna ask a few questions if you don’t mind”.

“I do mind”.

“What’s your name? I like ‘Dumb Druskelle’ but surely you were born with something else. Todd? A Kevin maybe? James?”. Matthias hated she gave the same comfort a friend would. It was strange. He didn’t know her, but he had been so lonely that he enjoyed having someone else near. And if he was gonna die, he wouldn’t mind dying with someone else.

Although Matthias was silent, she kept going. “Who’s back home for you?”.

“No one” he thought.

The woman pulled something out of one of her pockets and presented it to him. It was your wedding ring, the one he thought probably sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Before he could speak she said “I grabbed it before it sunk too far. Figured I could use it as leverage to make you get us to shore, but you agreed before I could”. Matthias took it and since no one he knew was around, he put it back on.

Some people prefer the feeling of a weight lifting off of them, but he preferred the weight the ring added to his finger even if it wasn’t that huge of a change. The woman was still looking at him then he had an idea. If she was Ravkan and you ran there, maybe she knew you! He asked her if he knew a woman fitting your description with a child that had recently came to Ravka. When she said she was usually in and out of the palace, but had gotten a letter from a friend who mentioned a new Grisha with a child he felt conflicted. On one hand, this could’ve been you and this meant you were safe. On the other hand, this meant his daughter was probably being trained to become a soldier for whatever other war Ravka would join.

She made a sarcastic remark, asking if he had been hunting this woman also and she happened to get away. He spilled his guts then. He told her everything. How you met, how you were always there for him, how you fell in love, your marriage, your child, the incident, him turning on you. All of it. It felt amazing to say out loud to someone else.

“You had an incredible wife but chased her and your child away? Remember when I said there was a brain inside all that muscle? I lied”. He didn’t argue. What was the point? “What would you do if you managed to see her or your child again?”.

He thought about this every night and he still didn’t know. He’d apologize but what then? Let you go? Beg for another chance? What if you had met someone else by now? “I don’t know” he answered honestly “but I’d beg for as long as she wanted me to”.

“You do realize that you were gonna kill more Grisha on that boat right?”

“You would go on trial”

“Your trials are a sham, we’ve been over this. The loneliness won’t end by becoming a Druskelle again. You and I both know it”. Matthias went quiet again as he thought. He hated she was nosey, he hated that everything that came out her mouth was sarcastic or said with an attitude, but more importantly

He hated she was right.

“I have known one way my entire life. I don’t know how to be anything else. I… I don’t know if I can be better”.

“It’s possible” she said. She stood and moved so she was in his view. “Get on your feet-”. It all happened so quick then. She backed up, then all Matthias heard was the ground crumbling and her screams. He dived down, catching her hands.

She pleaded for Matthias to pull her up and for a split second, he thought he’d let her fall.

He refused to turn his back on anyone else though.

He pulled her up and let her catch her breath on the ground. After a few seconds, he stood with his hand outstretched, “Matthias… Helvar”.

She took his hand and let him help her to her feet. “Nina Zenik. Nice to make your acquaintance”. Matthias draped one of the fur coverings he was wearing on her shoulders then they started walking again.

“You saved my life”

“I put you in chains. It was the least I could do”.

“That’s all very true, but I was going to say something before I fell”. Nina grabbed his arm, making him stop and look at her.

“I’m going to help you find your family”.

A/N: I need to stop deciding to write at 11pm-. Anyway, did anything really happen this part? No. Lowkey this should say part 1.5 but that looks ugly so here we are. I will not procrastinate for another two months, I promise. Also I remembered that Matthias is 18 and ya'll kid is 10, so uhhh let's say the kid is 6 and ya'll are mid twenties. Imma edit the last part too, don't even worry. I think part 3 will be the last part unless I decide it's too long and split it. Taglist: @luvrrish @katie-the-bookworm @favouritefeverdream (Idk if you wanted to be tagged, but you commented so imma do it anyway)

#matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar x you #matthias helvar x y/n #matthias helvar #matthias helvar oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone imagine #matthias helvar imagine #six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows x reader #i am so down bad for him

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creative-caramel-coffee · 1 year

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Hihi! currently dealing with a bout of bad chronic pain and it got me thinking.

Any chance to get a hall mom Thornhill and platonic student reader who has chronic pain. Hurt / all comfort lol.

thornhill makes something to ease the pain using some of her plants in the greenhouse? And maybe she specifically started growing the plants once she learned one of her students suffered from chronic pain?

Please and thank you! Also feel free to change anything up!

Much love from the frog king🐸

Exam Season

Pairings: Thornhill x Reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.6K

Summary: Reader has been in some pain and finally finds a solution.

TW: mentions of drugs, chronic pain, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol

A/n I had so much fun with this one. I did a lot of research through my old medical textbooks so most of it is hopefully accurate.

It was exam season which meant pain, both from studying and well … the chronic kind. And just because you were used to it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Because it did. Badly.

There were a few things that caused pain flare ups for you ever since the car accident you were in a few years ago. Of course, one of the two was stress which was assured with exam season and the second was disrupted sleep patterns and with all the late-night study sessions that was another thing you could check off the mental triggers list. But it's not like you couldn’t study. You needed to. You prided yourself on it. Your family name was all you had left of your parents. They, unlike you did not survive the crash. So you used the fear of being nobody with no home as a drive, to work. To be someone worth something.

The light was on in your dorm once again as Ms Thornhill made the rounds before going to bed herself. Ophelia hall had few rooms where there was only one student. You had been lucky enough to be one of them. So she knew you were awake. But the light had been on four nights in a row now. Surely that was getting a little bit excessive. She made mental note to ask you about it later in her class, she knew you were a responsible student and as you were old enough to make your own decisions, she trusted you to make good ones at that.

It must have been around two am before you actually got to sleep. The next morning the pain was so much worse. You dragged yourself out of bed in hope that a hot shower would relax the muscles in your neck. You stood and lazily made your way to the ensuite, mentally thanking whoever was in charge of the roomie situation that you simply didn’t have one.

After a shower that seemed to have little to no effect at all on the stupid amount of pain you were in you dressed slowly and grabbed breakfast before heading to botany.

You had no meds for the pain, Panadol never touched the level of chronic pain you were in. High dose stuff made you nervous, you didn’t want to get addicted at such a young age. But you also couldn’t ask for help without exposing the fact you had nobody at home to get you anything.

You made it a point to avoid the infirmary, opting to look out for yourself.

When you had signed up for nevermore yourself, you had faked your parents' signatures based off some old documents you found in your father's study. You had guarded that secret with your life.

Every parent's weekend you simply said they lived far away which was why you stayed on the grounds during breaks, not because you hated the empty house you would eventually have to go home to. So no, you didn’t risk seeing the nurse.

Taking your seat in the room you were slouching badly, trying to ease the pain by loosening the muscles. Every once in a while, you would roll your shoulders to try and get a temporary reprieve in the constant gnawing on your sanity. After a bit you gave up on the worksheet all together and put your head down on the desk trying to get comfortable, or at least as comfortable as possible in that moment.

You jumped when you felt a hand make contact with your back gently. Looking up with bleary eyes, glazed with pain, you saw the concerned face of Ms Thornhill looking down at you.

“Honey are you ok?” She asked already knowing the answer, she was biting her bottom lip, usually you were veery composed so she knew it was something bad.

“Im fine Ms Thornhill.” You said sounding slightly strained.

“Darling I’m your dorm mom right now, call my Marilyn sweetie.” She said and began rubbing circles on your back. You relaxed under her touch, it was soothing and it had been so long since you had any sort of positive contact. You relished in the feeling. You were too tired to care right now about the rest of the class who luckily seemed to be paying no attention at all to the two of you.

“Im fine Marilyn.” You said and ducked your head again.

“Darling don’t lie to me I can tell somethings wrong.” She said softly but sternly. You nodded with tears in your eyes.

“Can I talk to you later.” You whispered.

“Well class is over in a few minutes so please stay behind and talk to me.” She said sensing that you weren’t going to talk in front of your peers.

When class finally ended you packed up your books slowly and stayed seated as the class trailed out. Ms Thornhill came over and pulled up the chair beside you, taking your hand in hers and rubbing it with her thumb grazing gently over your knuckles.

“Talk to me sweetheart.” She said and you choked back tears. The dam burst when she pulled you in for a hug. It had been so long since you had a hug.

You sobbed into her shoulder, and she rubbed your back.

“Shh shh shhh its ok Darling. Im here. And I’ll help you however i can sweetie.” She said before pausing.

“Darling how long has it been since you had a hug?”

“T-too long.” You sniffled.

Then you simply buried your face in her neck until you calmed down. When you finally pulled away, she wiped away the tears with her thumb.

“Now whats the matter many darling?” She asked and you swallowed.

“A few years ago, i was in a car accident. I got whiplash and hurt my neck. It’s never really been the same since. I know it's not in my file but i can usually manage it fine by myself. With the stress of the exam coming up and late nights studying it … it hurts so much more than it normally does. Im scared to take anything I might get addicted to.”

“Well first, we will need to update your file.” She said squeezing you hand gently. “Second if this is a bad flare up...” she paused and waited for your response, and you nodded. “Which it is.” She said slowly, “I can give you something for the pain. And we can manage it together. Ok darling?” She asked and you nodded feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“Now I don’t think principal Weems would approve of me growing you some medicinal Marijuana.” She said and you gave a choked laugh.

“No, I don’t think I would.” Came a voice from the doorway and both of you turned to face the principle. She was wearing a small, amused smirk as she walked over to join you.

“I had a report Y/n wasn’t in her second class. I thought i may find her here.” She said. “Anyone want to explain?” She asked and you looked to Ms Thornhill to answer.

“Y/n was just telling me how she’s been having some issues as of late. Chronic pain was it darling?” She asked looking at you and you nodded and looked away studying the plants on the window cil. “We were just discussing some options.” She finished.

“And I’m glad you have ruled out medicinal Marijuana.” Weems said with a laugh.

“As am I.” You whispered making them both laugh.

“Glad to see you were paying attention in last week's drugs and alcohol assembly darling.” The principal drawled. “However, Ms Thornhill here, may need another.” She said jokingly. “So, whats the plan?”

“Well, I was going to make Ms L/n here some chamomile, willow bark and meadowsweet tea for the pain. Maybe a massage and a heat pack.” Ms Thornhill said standing and grabbing various tins of dried herbs. “I have been wanting to grow some more of my herbs for any students that would need them, and it seems u have found my first patient.” She smiled kindly at you, and you simply nodded again.

“Well, I’ll leave you two too it. I’ll also excuse Ms L/n here from her classes for the day. Provided you are either with Ms Thornhill, at your dorm or at the infirmary.” She said and you thanked her as she left.

A moment later the botany teacher placed a steaming mug of tea in front of you and you sighed as she pressed a heat pack she had seemingly pulled from thin air against your neck.

“I can give you a massage later, the upper traps and right across your shoulders if you like?” She said and you nodded. “Yes please.” You said shyly and she beamed at you.

“Drink that tea darling girl and then we can see how you're feeling. Also, I’d be happy to tutor you if it helps with the stress.”

“Oh you … you don’t have to do that, I’m sure I'll be fine.” You stammered not wanting to take up anymore of her time.

“Darling I’m offering.” She said and you paused.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask my sweet.” She said and you sipped the tea again.

It was safe to say the tea helped significantly. Despite being an old remedy and not being clinically proven, it worked really well.

For the rest of the day, you hung out with the botany teacher, and she helped you study some more. Maybe, just maybe, life would be a bit easier from now on.

MASTERLIST

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qrosewinter · 7 months

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Description : Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3... To be continued.

Summery: Where a girl from New Zealand goes to brooklyn to live with her Auntie and Uncle, mets a brooklyn boy with secrets and a voice like honey with pretty hazel green eyes.

Where a brooklyn boy mets a girl from New Zealand with an accent he's never heard before, who he can't seem to forget.

And a Polynesian girl struggling to find who she is in the concrete jungle of NYC so far from home.

The start of the most unlikely relationship between two people starts to bloom, between a brooklyn boy who's just a little misunderstood.

Will this relationship bloom or stay untouched? Maybe we should let fate take the lead for this one.

Fic summary: slow burn, obvious to flirting, a little bit of angst, romance, revenge, anger.

WARNINGS ⚠️: Horrible attempts at slang, Horrible attempts at Spanish, Swearing, Weapons, Gore, Drugs, Alcohol, Mature themes, Spelling mistakes.

Chapter 2: Am I seeing shit again.

Are you hearing voices again? -Unknown

It's been about 3-4 days since I went to Visions and walked right into someone making a damn fool out of myself, but then again, what's new?

Not gonna lie it wasn't one of my best moments how awkward I felt I mean like, why in hells name did I say 'Have a good day' so god dammed awkwardly, why the fuck did I even say it at all!?

Could have said something like, "Well, sorry about that, but I gotta go, see ya. But not you had to go and say".

'Have a good day?', if I could punch myself so hard right now to make myself forget I ever said that I would, in a heartbeat.

But too bad you can't now can you :/

I'll be starting at Visions next week though, so I guess I have more chances to male myself out to be a fool, they did tell me during my little interview thing or whatever you wanna call it.

They didn't have any dormrooms ready for me at the moment.

so I won't be moving to the dorms anytime soon, which is fair.

I did so happen to start up at that school. What? A little past first term or semester, I think they call it here in America?

I don't know. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the education system here, and I still don't understand a damn thing.

But anyway, I won't be put in a dorm room yet until they find an either an empty one or someone without a roommate, which I don't think will happen anytime soon.

But the good news is I don't live very far from school. The bad news is I'd have to wake up earlier to get ready and be out the door before school starts, which sucks ass.

But beggers can't be choosers, so I'll take it, means I won't have to share a room with someone I don't know that's a plus, I guess.

Still don't know how I'll handle seeing that guy. It'll be awkward. That's for

《 ○ 》

"Y/N!" My Auntie lily yelled from the kitchen, and I snapped out of my thoughts and looked away from the little notebook I was writing in seated at my desk.

"Yeah?" I called back out to her as I leaned back in my desk chair, tilting my head towards the door and waiting for a response.

But when I didn't get one, I groaned, frustrated, and rolled my eyes.

I hated when people did that. Even when parents did that, call out your name to get your attention, but don't say a damn thing, so you gotta get up to see what they want.

Only to be asked to do the most simplistic things ever, like pass them the TV remote.

But it's right in front of them on the coffee table, or they don't even remember anymore and tell you never mind.

I got up grumbling to myself under my breath as I walked out of my bedroom.

in the simplest outfit of an oversized black hoodie with a small red and white mushroom on the front over my left breast and two bigger ones on the back, with the words 'Let's take a trip' and just some simple army green shorts that used to be pants before I cut them up into shorts.

My hair was pulled back messily into an attempt at a bun before I gave up and left it as is.

I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, my bare feet barely making any sound on the carpet until I got to the kitchen.

And I leaned against the doorframe. "Yeah?" I said to my auntie, lazily raising an eyebrow at her with my hands stuffed into my hoodie pocket.

"Ah there you are, Me haere koe ki te toa maku ki te tiki i etahi mea maku, he rarangi takuKa taea e koe te haere ki te toa maku, ki te tiki etahi mea, he rarangi taku me etahi moni hei tiki." my Auntie said to me as she said to me as she picked up a list she had written out for me and held it out for me to take, along with a few bills to pay for everything on the list.

I groaned tipping my head back "ko te iwa i te po ka hiahia koe kia haere ahau ki te toa ko ahau anake" I said back to her as I dropped my head forward and took the list and money reluctantly.

"Yes, you'll be fine. Just take a knife and put it in your pocket." My Auntie huffed at me, waving my words off as she turned around to finish putting the dishes away.

I grumbled but didn't complain openly at least as I plucked a semi-sharp knife from the knife block and shoved it into my pocket as I turned and walked back to my room to get my jandels (Flip flops for the Americans :) )

I slipped them on, pulled my hood up over my messy hair shoved the list and money into my pocket along with putting my phone in my back pocket and taking just one earbud out of my JBL case and putting it in my ear.

Before I left the apartment, after going down some stairs out of the apartment building.

I tapped the side of my earbud about two times to skip through the songs I didn't want to listen too until I settled on 'Never enough by Six60' a classic song from a band back home.

"Still can't shake the feelin' in my bones, it won't leave me, it won't let me go," I sung under my breath to myself as I kept walking down the dark empty streets to the store about three blocks away.

It was dark besides a few lightposts lining the streets, some flickering others doing just fine. Brooklyn in the daytime was so different compared to the nighttime.

At night, it was dangerous. You had to keep your guard up, and I wasn't stupid. I knew crime ran wild at night in brooklyn.

I'd seen enough of it on TV, hearing people tall about it, and so on. It's the reason this city had a curfew, and why it kept getting early depending on just how bad it kept getting, and so far, it was getting worse before it's ever going to get better.

The once lively streets looked so much darker, like something out of a horror movie, not a sound besides the faint buzzing of streetlights.

feral cats digging through trash, the odd whisper of something in the alleyways and the sound of TV's playing from inside buildings.

But I wasn't completely dumb, I knew as quiet as it was, as empty as everything seemed around me.

I wasn't actually alone out here tonight, there was others out here, none with good intentions and anyone who did.

well, let's just say they wouldn't be there for long.

which is the reason my aunt made me take a knife with me for self-defense.

And what I knew I had to do was keep an eye out so I was, I kept an eye on my surroundings.

but made sure to make myself look relaxed and not all tense knowing that I'll just draw attention to myself if I did.

I glanced up and around me, though the streets were dangerous at night. I couldn't help but find them strangely beautiful too.

The way the stars just barely, peeked through the clouds in the sky under the pollution in the air, the way the street lights cast light on curtain parts of the streets and slowly left the others bathed in darkness.

The way the colours played off of everything around me was just in a strangely weird and beautiful. It's in its own dark twisted kinda way, of course, but still had a certain charm to it.

"There was a time when you would've given me everything that you own, The only thing you left me was alone.." I sung to myself under my breath as I kept my hands in my pocket.

my right hand gripping the handle of the knife loosely judt in case.

I sighed softly, sqinting my eyes as i looked in front of me.

I was tired from not sleeping properly the past few nights.

for some reason staying up until five in the morning then going to sleep, which yes I know is fucking stupid.

But I just couldn't get to sleep, for some stupid reason or another.

But still, I kept walking. I had just 2 more blocks to go before I hit the store to grab a few things, and then I could go home, collapse in bed, and die until tomorrow afternoon hopefully.

~I guess our time is up, I've given you too much, I just need to keep on movin', cause I still crave your touch, why won't you fade to dust?~

~so I can line you up, enough is never enough (ooh-ooh), enough is never enough(ooh-ooh), with every single does (oh-oh-oh), losin' all control (oh-oh-oh), never is never enough(ooh-ooh)~

( Miles's POV)

Meanwhile, with Miles....

~as I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at myself and realize there's nothin' left, 'cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that, even my mama thinks that my mind is gone~

Miles hummed along to the music playing in his ears from his earbuds plugged into his phone shoved I his front pocket, as he he slipped on his jacket, a a dark purple nearing black in the low light of his Uncle's apartment.

Just another night as the prowler, and another night of getting his Mami the supplies she needed for the hospital she worked at.

so underfunded sometimes patients who needed their medicine who didn't get it in time, didn't make it.

~but I ain't never crossed a man who didn't deserve it, me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of, you better watch how ya talkin' and where ya walkin'~

Music was one of the ways Miles pumped himself up as he got ready to go out there with hi mask on, on the streets that he remembered used to be so beautiful before the corruption sunk its claws into his city and with it his Dad.

~or you and your homies might be lined in chalk, I really hate to trip but I gotta loc, as they croak, I see myself in pistol smoke, fool, I'm the kind of G that little homies wanna be like, on my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the steertlights~

Miles clenched his jaw and shook his head, rolling his shoulders.

'Naw ain't got time to think like that, get your in the game Miles' he thought to himself as he finished suiting up, he took one look at himself in the reflection of the windows in his Uncle's living room and stood a little straighter.

~we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've keep spendin' most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise, we've been spendin' most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise~

'I'm gonna make you proud Dad, swear it' Miles thought as he took his earbuds out and unplugged them from his phone the music of 'Gangsta's paradise by Coolio, L.V' spilling from his phone as his mask smoothly slid over his face.Lookingng back at Miles was the prowler in his reflection.

"Ay Neph time to ,go," Uncle Aaron called out from the door, and Miles nodded.

"On my way, Unc," Miles said to Aaron, his voice distorted by the voice changer in his mask as he made his way to the door.

Long since having paused his music as he put his gloves on with a Sharp click.

~look at the situation they got me facin', I can't live a normal life, i was raised by the stripes, so I gotta be down with the hood team, too much television watchin' got me chasin' dreams, I'm an educated fool with money on my mind, got a ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye~

Miles followed Aaron to the rooftop of the apartment, building his clawed hands clenching and unclenching as he walked.

"You remember the plan?" Aaron said, walking in front of miles looking through his phone at the time, before he tucked his phone back in his pocket

"Mm, I remember get the shit be in be out," Miles muttered to his uncle as they made it to the rooftop, and he looked over the buildings around them.

Some had fires going on top of them, others didn't, but you could see the gleam of neon lights of tall skyscraper buildings in the distance and people moving around under the glow of lights shining though there apartment windows.

~I'm a loc'd out gangsta, set trippin' banger, and my homies is down, so don't arouse my anger, fool, death ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away~

"Got yo earpiece?" Aaron asked Miles before he got ready to leave, handing Miles a black backpack.

"Yeah, it's in," Miles replied as he shrugged on the bag, Aaron handed him.

"Eyes sharp," Aaron said to Miles, nodding at him, standing back and tapping his earpiece in his own ear to turn it on.

"Mind steady," Miles said back with a nod before he was off using his grappling hook in hand to swing odd through the city under cover of the night towards the docs where a new shipment of medical supplies were waiting.

~I'm livin' my life do-or-die, uh, what can I say, I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24?, with way things is goin', I don't know, tell me why are we so blind to see, the ones we hurt are you and me~

Miles weaved in and out of alleyways High above on the air, flipping through the air and rolling along the side of buildings to build momentum as he headed for the docs using his titanium claws to grip onto the ledges of buildings to throw himself forward.

~we've been spendin' most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise~

//////////

(Y/N's POV)

Seeing the store up ahead, I signed in relief.

"Thank fuck man" I grumbled under my breath as I pushed the door open and walked inside taking the list out of my pocket pocket I picked up a basket nearby from the door.

And started on my walk around the store for the items on the list my Auntie gave me.

"Dried chilli's, tortilla's, milk, bread and a juice" I mumbled under my breath reading over the list with a nod to myself as I repeated over and over in my head what was needed as I shoved the list in my pocket.

I walked around the store, throwing what was needed into the basket, and then, lastly, the juice.

I grunted softly, feeling how heavy the basket was now. The juice was in it.

"Damn," I muttered under my breath, gripping the handles of the basket just a little tighter as I walked towards checkout.

I paused, looking down at a shelf with some lollies on it- sorry, correction candies, my bad, I forgot I was in America.

I snorted softly to myself, amused as I picked up an interesting looking candies I'd never seen before or tired.

"Milk duds? Looks interesting, " I muttered to myself, and with a shurg, I dropped the box in the basket, a little treat for myself when I was walking home.

Making it to checkout, I set my basket on the counter.

"Hi, just these, please," I said politely to the casher, who looked like she'd rather be anywhere but here right now.

I shoved my hands in my hoodie pocket, standing there a little awkwardly as she checked them out for me.

'Mood, I feel you, my G', I thought to myself, glancing up at the girl at the counter, checking out my items for me.

She was actually really pretty, dark skinned with cornrows, and really pretty blue eyes that contrasted beautifully with her skin.

"That'll be $36.50, cash or card?" The girl spoke up a little drly, sounding tired, which is fair, so I didn't hold it against her.

"Cash, thank you," I said to her with a small smile as I counted out two $20's from the cash my Auntie gave to me and handed it to her.

"You wanna a bag?" She asked me as she counted out my change, which came to $3.50 as she handed it to me, and I took it, putting the change in my pocket.

"Yes, please," I said to her as she bagged up my items and handed me the bag.

"Thank you, have a good night," I said to her before I left, more in habit really from growing up in New Zealand, anytime.

"Mm," the girl muttered as she went back to playing on her phone, what she had been doing before I got to check out.

And I once more started on my walk home, glancing up at the sky every once in awhile hoping to see stars but only really managing to see planes or helicopters flying around

I frowned in disappointment before shrugging it off with a sigh.

With the bag of stuff in my left hand, I reached into my pocket with my right hand for my phone and used my fingerprint ID to open it.

I scrolled through my playlists, looking for a song to listen to as I walked, something I was in the mood for.

I scrolled for a bit as I walked every once in awhile looking up to make sure I didn't walk into anything, as I kept scrolling not finding a song I was interested in as I switched between another playlist had.

And when I thought I found a song, I heard the rustling of clothes, pained grunts, and low voices speaking coming up ahead from an alleyway.

I kept walking curiosity peeked, even in my tired state. i couldn't help but be nosey.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket, coming to a stop next to the alleyway, and I turned my head to look down it.

And there was a man being pinned to a wall, an arm against his throat making it hard to breathe for the overweight white man, a hand pinned to the wall by metal claws gleaming in the faint moonlight.

And the one holding the overweight man, he was interesting, to say the least.

Purple and black dominating his outfit, from the shoes to the accessories on his clothes, a mask over his face, like pixels on an old ass box TV, the kind before flat screen TVs, but not really as pixilated as yours think.

And two braids running down the back of his head that looked familiar stopping just past his shoulders.

They both seemed to pause after hearing my foot steps and turned to look at me.

But me being tired, overly exhausted, blinked at them lazily and confused, my brows frowned.

"Fuck I need to sleep more I'm starting to hallucinate again" I grumbled to myself my voice echoing a little down the alleyway as I started walking away rubbing at my eyes unimpressed at myself.

Just chalking what I saw up to my imagination fucking with me for not sleeping properly, honestly wouldn't be the first time, always had a shitty sleeping schedule.

Very few times I'd get the maximum eight hours of sleep, I'd either go to bed between 11pm to about 5am, cause I'm that stupid to stay up that late, only to be pissed off and tired the next day.

I shrugged and let my hand drop from my eyes.

I walked slightly hunched and legs feeling heavy, it felt like my legs were gonna give out on me, but well mama didn't raise no bitch, so we keep on going.

I didn't realise when I started daydreaming, or maybe i was dissociating again?, who knows.

But by the time I snapped out of it, I was home, standing in front of my apartment door, before I ever realized where I was.

"Mm," I mumbled to myself, paying it no mind as I opened the door and stepped inside, kicking off my jandels by the side of the door.

"I'm back," I called out as I walked into the kitchen and dropped the bag on the kitchen counter, digging through it for my milk duds I got.

Once I had the box in hand, I shoved it into my pocket and wondered off to my room.

"Any trouble well you were out, bub!" Lily called out from the living room.

"Nah, it was algoods, Auntie!" I called back out to her as I crawled into bed, flinching just a little when I felt something sharp poke my stomach.

Reaching into my hoodie pocket, I dumped out everything that was in it, from my phone, the change and extra cash I was given, my milk duds, and finally, the knife I forgot I had.

"Forgot about that," I mused to myself as I dumped the change and knife on my bedside table, picked up the box of chocolate covered lollies, and opened the box.I dumpedng a few in my hand before popping them on my mouth and chewing.

I scrunched my nose up at the taste. It wasn't the best candy I'd ever had or lollie for that matter, tasted too well fake to me, far too artificial then anything I'd ever tasted before.

So I dropped the box of sweets on my nightstand and picked up my water bottle. I always left on my bedside table and took a swing to wash out my mouth with a small grimace.

"Well that was disappointing" I muttered to myself setting my water bottle back down, as I picked up my phone and slid down more in my bed to get comfortable as I pulled the blankets up to my neck.

Turning it on, I went onto Tiktok and used the automatic scrolling feature, as well as plugged my phone in as I propped my phone up against the wall.

Watching the random videos that played as my eyes grew heavy.

Before sleep finally claimed me, and I was out like a light.

(MILES POV)

Miles had just gotten home after taking a bit of a detour after dropping off the supplies at his Mami's hospital.

He grunted as he kicked off his shoes, and dropped his jacket on the floor, taking off the black collar around his neck that held his mask and dropped it into a box he kept all his dad's all accessories and his own.

He stripped off the layers of his Prowler suit and replaced it with his own tank top and some sweats before putting on his purple durag that had little gold crowns on it over his braids.

He then picked up the pieces of his suit and dropped them into a box he took aw, y hidden in his closet.

He then dropped onto his bed with a si. Onene had taken behind his head as he picked up his phone to check for any messages from his mami.

He tapped on his Mami's contact after seeing an unread message from her.

'Gonna be working late again tonight, leftovers are in the microwave, Te amo duerme dormido ❤️'

Miles signed softly, another night shift. Made him glad he cleaned the house before heading over to his uncle's.

He pulled his hand out from behind his hand and started to type a message.

'Te amo Mami, no trabajes tan duro ❤️'

He hit send, plugged his phone in, and shifted to pull his blankets over himself as he rolled over to go to sleep.

'That girl again, huh shame I still ain't know her name,' Miles thought to himself amused.

Remembering how those sleepy tired eyes had looked at him tonight, or should he say the prowler.

How she had looked at the prowler had convinced herself what she'd seen was nothing but hallucinations cause she was so tired.

He was sure he'd see her again, and he knew just like the first time, and the second it'll just be as interesting as the first.

Then maybe, just maybe next time he'd know where she was from, know what that accent she had was.

Until then, he'd sleep. He had school tomorrow after all.

So he shut his eyes, got comfortable, and let himself relax enough to maybe, this time, sleep a full night.

And if not, well, he'd deal with it in the morning.

Hi! Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I'm gonna try and write at least two before I post another and work on a schedule to be able to post them.

I try and work on them when I'm not busy at home, and when I'm not busy at work, I'll let you guys know now. Until then, happy reading.

Translation:

Ka taea e koe te haere ki te toa maku, ki te tiki etahi mea, he rarangi taku me etahi moni hei tiki. = can you go to the shop for me, and get a few things, i have a list and some money to get them.

ko te iwa i te po ka hiahia koe kia haere ahau ki te toa ko ahau anake = it's nine at night and you want me to go to the store by myself

Te amo duerme dormido = I love you, sleep tight.

Te amo Mami, no trabajes tan duro = I love you Mommy, don't work too hard.

#Spotify #42 miles morales #earth 42 miles x you #miles g morales x reader #miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales x female reader #prowler miles #42 miles morales x reader #miles g x reader #miles x y/n

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story-stew · 2 months

Note

Yo, I'm someone who hit a funk and broke my three month streak of not hurting myself, and am feeling down... splatoon has helped take my mind off things, so would you please write some headcannons on the girls comforting a reader who they caught harming themselves? Thanks in advance, I just need the comfort rn.

I'm really sorry that that happened. I understand how you feel, so I'll gladly write some headcanons for you if they'll make you feel better. You're very strong for going for three months, yknow. And i know you're strong enough to try again. You've got this <3

I'm also gonna put a hotline number at the end for anyone, just in case

Now onto the thingy

‼️Quick TW for Self Harm/Suicide‼️

‎‧₊˚✧[ The Idols Comforting A Self-harming Reader ]✧˚₊‧

(🎨🔫🤬❤️‍🩹) - splatoon angst comfort

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

- - - - - - -

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Callie

Had just come home from a shopping spree when she found you in your room with a bleeding arm

You used one of the kitchen knives

"(Y/N)?! OHMIGOSH, ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT CUT YO-"

Then she sees the knife next to you

The expressive glow in her eyes was gone

She rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a bunch of paper towels, and began to clean your cuts

Lots of hugs and kisses with a side of kind reassurements were given that night

"(Y/N).. please don't do this to yourself. It's not worth it. It's going to be okay, whatever you're goin' through, yeah?"

She checks in with you a lot more now

Asking how you're feeling, if you've eaten, stuff like that

If you have past scars she'll kiss them

If you're feeling down (like you want to hurt yourself again) she'll give you a bunch of distractions and things to do so you don't

If you relapse, she gives you a big hug and say that it's alright

"That's okay! I'm sure you can go even longer this time! I believe in you!"

She was honestly worried she'd lose you

But she sees that you're healing now and that you're better, and that's all she could ever ask for

She's glad you're still around

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Marie

Also had just come home from shopping, but it was with Callie. She called out to you, but didn't find you in the living room or in the bedroom or kitchen, so she checked the bathroom

She found you with a bleeding leg

You used a razor

She didn't have a very "over-the-top" reaction (unlike Callie)

She just grabbed the first-aid kit you kept in the bathroom and cleaned your wounds.

She didn't wanna scare you

"I may not understand, but I know."

She gave you a tight squeeze after she was done. "I know."

She's a lot less sarcastic with you now

Always tries to make sure you're happy or at least satisfied with yourself

If you feel like hurting yourself she'll bring you into a huge cuddle-sesh until she's sure you're feeling better

Careful, those can last hours

If you relapse, she'd bandage you up and try to make you smile or laugh

"Don't worry, kid. There's always next time."

Despite how sarcastic and snarky she is on T.V., she's very caring and loving

And she'd do anything to make sure you're safe

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Pearl

"(N/N), I brought ya some foo-"

Dropped the plate when they saw you hunched over, crying with a burned arm

You used Pearl's lighter

Rushed over and immediately took the lighter from you. She accidentally burned herself, too, but that was an accident

Yours was on purpose

Pearl isn't all that good at comforting people, so she called Marina in to help

She kissed you, rubbed your back, and whispered sweet words to you while Marina helped your burns

"I'm so sorry.. Whatever happened, it's not your fault."

Pearl would continue to do all those things while you explained why you did that

Needless to say, she felt awful

From here on out, she's always doing things to keep you happy

She might make little songs for you (with the help of Marina's composing) or cook with you (albeit she's not the best cook)

If you relapse, she'll just sit there with you, head on your shoulder, ready to listen if you wanna vent or talk

Or if you just wanna sit there in silence, too

Like I said, she's not the best at comforting people, especially when they've done something like this

But she'll try her best if it's all worth making and keeping you happy

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Marina

She had finally emerged from her recording studio after at least 3 hours of editing and revising music for the Memverse

That's when she found you, bruised and slightly bleeding

You had been biting yourself and bit down really hard

She was confused at first as to why you would do such a thing

She's your personal therapist at this point

Treating the wounds, asking how you're feeling, what happened while she was gone, if you wanna talk, etc. etc.

"I know this won't help, but you shouldn't feel so bad. I am your biggest fan, and I'm always gonna be there to support you and care for you, okay?"

Even if she didn't seem all that terrified, she was incredibly scared that you would bite down too hard and really hurt yourself

Keeps an eye on you and your mood from now own

Just like Callie, she gives you things to do when you feel like harming yourself, just digitally

Lets you run through the memverse demo as many times as you'd like

If you relapse, she'll kiss your wounds (when they're clean) and say that was a good try, and that you can do better than before

But, she really wasn't lying when she said she was your biggest fan and supporter

She always was, and she always will be

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Shiver

She had just finished training a bunch of sharks just a ways from your house. She came home, fan in hand, and called out for you

You didn't respond, so she began to look for you

She found you in the bedroom, clawing at your arm

Since your nails weren't that sharp, it didn't draw blood, but it was enough to leave a mark

You swore she turned paper white when she gasped

She gasped so loud people in Inkopolis could've heard her

She quickly recollected herself and rushed over to help you

I have a headcanon that shiver excessively fans herself when she's on edge, so she did a lot of that here

"(Y/N)?? Why would you do such a thing to yourself? ... Well, please, don't do it again. You're too good of a person to deserve this."

From then on, she was a lot more caring toward you

Less sarcasm, less of a snarky personality, more of a mother figure

Makes sure you've eaten, and that you haven't harmed yourself (and that you won't anytime soon)

Also makes you trim your nails so you can't scratch yourself again

If you relapse, she encourages you to try and make your streak longer the next time

She may not show it half (or 3/4) of the time, but she really cares about you. And it would deeply hurt her if she lost you

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･Frye

Randomly woke up from a really good nap, turned over, and saw you hitting yourself on your arms, legs, and head

She probably woke up due to your hitting moving the bed

You bruised your legs and arms and gave yourself a massive headache

Frye immediately tried to constrain you (and you gave in since she's freakishly strong. she's broken a rock before. twice.)

Started bombarding you with questions

"(Y/N)?! What happened?? Why were you beating yourself up?"

You broke down, and she immediately pulled you into a tight hug

"Hey, now! Don't cry! It's alright, I'm right here! I'm awake now, and I'm not gonna let anything or anyone hurt you, ya hear?"

Considering how she has siblings, she's actually pretty good at comforting people. She does, however, get extra advice from Big Man from time to time

Just like Shiver, she makes sure you've eaten and that you don't start hitting yourself again

Also makes it clear that it's perfectly fine to open up to her whenever you need to and whenever she has time to listen

If you do ever relapse, she's never mad. She'll just comfort you and ask you to try again

Frye's got a soft side, especially when it comes to you. And she's not afraid to show it if it means you'll be alive and well

- - - - - - -

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

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callsign-bunnie · 1 year

Text

I Just Can’t Do This Anymore PT1

Rodolfo has been at his limit for a while. He can’t handle never being enough for anyone, he can’t handle loving someone who he is sure doesn’t love him back. He’s ready to be done with all of this. So, he writes his note and he says goodbye. And then... he wakes up again. But this time... he wakes up hungry.

TW: Suicide, cannibalism, murder, self hatred, DD:DE

Dear Alejandro,

Or whoever reads this note. Alvarez, Alejandro… whoever.

I’m sorry. I know it’s cliche, but I am. I’ve spent most of my life just trying to be better. Healthier. Nicer. I’ve just gotten to a point in my life where I’ve realized I am a deeply unlikeable person.

I can’t make friends stay long enough, I can’t even get the man I am in love with to love me back. I am deeply and utterly unloveable. Unlikeable. I tried so unbelievably hard to just be someone that people would like. And I am not.

I act like nothing affects me, but the truth is… it does. I am so deeply unhappy with my life and it’s getting to a point where I just can’t ignore it. Gentle teasing has become too hard for me to stomach. I say things and they’re ignored and… I want to fly off the handle.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t be better. I’m sorry I couldn’t be good enough. I’m sorry I couldn’t make everyone happy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t born a daughter to my mother. I’m sorry I couldn’t be good enough to my father. I’m sorry I fell in love with you, knowing you could never love me back, knowing I would never be good enough, Alejandro. I’m sorry.

I shouldn’t have even been allowed into the military. I lied on all of my tests. I just wanted to follow you, I wanted to stay with you.

I’m sorry.

Rodolfo.

Rodolfo looked down at the small piece of paper. Funny, he had felt like he’d had more to say before. But, this seemed to be all his brain could come up with as he folded it in half and left it beside his bed. He didn’t want to be messy, he wanted everything to be neat.

No one would find him until it was too late. Alejandro was at a bar, likely having a hookup. All of their men were either home or in their quarters, asleep.

Rodolfo would have full peace, full edge to do this. So, he started to take the pills.

He had been smart. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take all of them at once. So he had a giant bottle of water, which he was using to take them four at a time.

And finally, a whole bottle of benadryl. A giant bottle. Not the little ones you get for four dollars at a convenience store or pharmacy. It was the big bulk off-brand bottle you get from a bulk store.

He didn’t intend to wake up from this one. He had failed before. Perhaps he had wanted to fail, perhaps he hadn’t been quite ready to die, yet. But this time… This time he was ready.

He’d woken up in a good mood for the first time in months. He’d smiled to everyone, hell, he’d even waved when he’d went to check on Valeria, who was being held for questioning.

He’d given the biggest smiles he’d ever given to everyone, too.

Some were shocked, he knew. But… It was okay, because it was finally over. He carefully curled up in bed, staring at the wall. Already, sleep tugged at the sides of his brain, and he gave into it, slowly.

I’m sorry.

Waking up was a new sort of hell. Rodolfo’s brain felt so unbelievably foggy and he was absolutely starving. Eat. Eat.

He dragged himself out of bed, frowning as he saw the folded up suicide note on the side table by his bed. Had he survived? Well, that would explain the shit feeling. Fuck, it felt like his body was rejecting every inch of his skin.

How the actual fuck had he even survived? He looked down at his hands, frowning at the pale ashy tint to his skin, almost as if a grey tint had been poured over it. Gross. He needed a shower. So, he headed in that direction, stepping into the bathroom and stripping himself of his clothing.

He turned the water as hot as it could go, barely even feeling the way it scalded his skin. Really? He just felt disappointed. He’d really hoped this was the one. He’d really hoped he was done.

There was always later, he supposed, but he’d really been hoping it was now.

He scratched so hard into his skin it was deep red and then when he decided he was satisfied, he got out, dried off, and then pulled clothes back on.

He took the note and shoved it in the nightstand, the other ones in it just laughing at him. One of you will be used one day, he was sure.

One day.

Rodolfo was unsurprised at how tired he was. He’d taken an entire bottle of benadryl, being exhausted was expected, honestly. But, this was almost excessive. He rubbed at his eyes and just shrugged it off, deciding to worry about it, later.

Rodolfo looked at the empty bottle of benadryl and made a face. He’d taken an entire giant bottle. It’d been unopened, too, and 600 tablets at 25 milligrams each… 15,000. Fifteen thousand. He’d taken 15,000 milligrams of benadryl, which was literally just diphenhydramine with an antihistamine.

1.5 grams of diphenhydramine was potentially lethal. You could survive it but… it was still potentially lethal. Rodolfo had taken 15 grams of benadryl. He counted on his fingers to do the math, too tired to be bothered with doing mental math. 1.5, 3, 4.5… That was ten times the potentially lethal dose of Benadryl.

How the actual fuck was he alive? And honestly, despite feeling like he’d only slept for an hour after being awake three days… He felt fine. He felt alive. He touched his wrist, feeling his heartbeat.

His attention was torn towards the door as he heard footsteps approach and then a soft knocking. He frowned and carefully moved towards the door, opening it to see Alejandro was standing there.

“Rudy,” Alejandro smiled and then frowned barely a moment later. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” Rodolfo snorted and then reached up, touching his face. “What do you need?”

“It’s 11:00.” Alejandro raised an eyebrow.

“It is?!” Rodolfo jerked his head to look at the clock, confirming that it was, in fact, 11:00. Rodolfo usually didn’t sleep that late. “Oh my god, I’m- Fuck, I didn’t realize.” He held his head and then shook it. “Give me a moment-”

“That’s fine, but you need to hurry. We’re supposed to head out. You missed Valeria being released, by the way.” Alejandro sighed, softly.

Rodolfo quickly nodded and closed the door again before yanking on his hoodie and boots, lacing them up as fast as he could. Fuck, Alejandro was probably so pissed. He went and checked his face in the mirror, frowning at the dark circles under his eyes. He’d survived 15 grams of benadryl, that was probably to be expected, but damn.

His stomach cramped and he winced. He’d eat after the mission. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too distracting…

He shook it off and turned, quickly leaving.

“Rudy, are you sure you’re okay?” This was not an appropriate question to ask over the comms. Even still, his heart fluttered at the concern in Alejandro’s voice. “You’ve been acting off.”

Rodolfo held his gun tightly, trying hard to ignore the aching in his stomach. “I’m good, commander. I didn’t sleep well last night, but I’ll be fine.”

“Alright.” Alejandro didn’t sound convinced but Rodolfo didn’t mind. He knew Alejandro wouldn’t question him too much on the subject. They used to have so many arguments because Alejandro would push Rodolfo too hard on issues he didn’t want to answer.

Rodolfo shook his head, his eyelids feeling heavy. Fuck. Then, he felt nauseous. Oh, no, oh no. He tried to guide his team into the building they needed to be in, falling back and pretending to be holding the door.

They were doing another raid, it was just a raid. Valeria was being released the next day, so they were doing their best to get done what they could, which had so far been nothing. However, a raid was a raid. Hard to go wrong with them.

As soon as all of his men were through, he fell over and vomited immediately. He made a face at the little pink pills in his vomit, holding his stomach. His gun had fallen a small distance away. God, there was blood, too, making his actual vomit a similar color to the pills, though they were slightly too artificially pink.

He gagged and then puked again, more of the pills coming up. “Fuck…” He rasped, his vision slightly blurry. He hated puking, he hated it so much.

Fingers touched the side of his face and his anxiety spiked. If Alejandro saw the pills, he’d know what happened, immediately. He looked up, expecting to see Alejandro’s face, but instead he was greeted with a woman’s. Not Valeria but… if his eyes unfocused, he could have easily mistaken her for Valeria.

“Aww… poor thing…” She cooed and then clicked her tongue. “You almost succeeded that time.”

Her voice made his stomach clench and her touch made his skin crawl. She smelled wrong. Like… too much perfume. But she was beautiful. Not in a way that made Rodolfo want her but… in a way that made him unable to stare for too long.

She touched more of his face and he couldn’t resist the urge anymore, hunching over and puking again. This time, it was mostly blood and she laughed at him. Of course she did. She’d done this. He didn’t know how but this was her fault.

The woman cupped his face and made him look up at her, though his vision had blurred more and it was so hard to see her. Tears filled his eyes and he gagged again, his body trying to vomit, but there wasn’t anything else for him to puke up. “I don’t think this is quite what he wanted, but then again, I’m not getting anything in return for it.” She was cooing it, like she was talking to a small child.

Despite how much he needed to throw up, again, he felt himself relaxing from her voice. “I… I…” He gagged and dry heaved, hunching back over. “Why??” He managed.

“I don’t know. He asked, I answered.” She murmured and then she leaned forward, kissing Rodolfo’s forehead. “67 attempts. That’s impressive. You’re trying so hard… It’s okay, you were always destined to fail… You tried your best and that’s what matters.”

Tears rolled down Rodolfo’s face and he started to sob, though it mixed with gags and heaves. God, what was wrong with his body?! He didn’t have anything left to puke up!

“Even my little interferences wouldn’t have worked this time…” She sighed and Rodolfo sobbed, trying hard to keep his body from puking again. “So, I did something a bit more permanent.”

Rodolfo’s body finally stopped having the urge to throw up and he hunched forward again, squeezing his eyes shut. This was hell, this was unbelievably hell. “You’re probably so hungry…”

Rodolfo was. He was so unbelievably hungry. His stomach was aching. Her voice was gentle as she spoke again. “Eat, my love… When the opportunity comes… just give into it. Gorge yourself… It’s okay… you have my permission…”

Rodolfo sniffled and reached up, wiping at his mouth and looking at the blood on his fingers. She tsked and got out a cloth, gently cleaning his face. Rodolfo keened into the touch, closing his eyes as her cloth swiped over his skin.

“Not quite clean. But I’ll accept that.” She murmured and then his eyes were opening again as she again cupped his face. “I have to go…”

Rodolfo shook his head, unsure why but he didn’t want her to. “Please don’t, please-”

“I’m sorry, love, but I have to.” She leaned forward and her ice cold lips pressed to his forehead. The action soothed him, completely, and he relaxed. “Goodbye.”

Then, she was gone, as if she’d never came. Rodolfo touched his face and it was clean, though the puddle of his own puke was still there. He got up on shaky legs, hardly able to comprehend what had just happened to him, but unsure he wanted to, anyway.

Finally, he turned and rushed into the building, after his men. They were clearing out rooms, as they were supposed to so Rodolfo barked orders into the radio. “Clear and then get out!”

“Yes, sir!” Came back and Rodolfo relaxed.

He helped to clear each room, but mostly he checked on everyone, which was his job regardless. “Commander Vargas, our building is cleared. I’m going to do a sweep and then I’ll reconvene.”

“Be on guard, Rodolfo.”

“I always am.” Rodolfo shook his head when Alejandro just laughed in response. Alright, maybe not. But, he would be, this time.

The hunger in his stomach was getting harder and harder to ignore, but ignore it, he did. He didn’t need to eat, right now, he needed to clear these rooms. Carefully, he checked in each one of them, pointing his gun, first.

When he got to the end of a hall, he stopped at a smell. Human, he could immediately tell, but… god, it smelled fantastic. Like asada when he and Alejandro would have the Vaqueros at the ranch. Alejandro was so good at making asada and the smell of it cooking was practically mouth watering.

Fuck that, it was mouthwatering. Rodolfo was usually the one to cook, but the one thing he left for Alejandro was the asada.

That sensation came back to Rodolfo and he just melted, breathing in the scent. God, he was starving… He could smell blood and he was so unbelievably hungry. He closed his eyes as he reached the door, stumbling a bit.

He was so hungry… God, he was so hungry. He was starving, he was so unbelievably hungry. The idea of having a steak and just ripping into it with his teeth was so unbelievably fantastic to him. He could perfectly visualize the sensation.

He put his hand on the door handle before pushing open the door, the mouth watering scent of meat and blood hitting him full force. He stumbled into the room, breathing hard from just how hungry he was. He remembered a time he’d gotten stuck in the woods and how unbelievably hungry he’d been.

He had found a dead deer and he remembered being so hungry that he’d just sank his teeth into the meat once it was roasted, even though it was rotten.

He looked around, smelling the blood coming from a closet, where he saw a pool forming. God, he was so hungry. Eat, my love… You have my permission…

Rodolfo went to the pool of blood and crouched down, swiping up some of it with his fingers and then he licked the blood off of them, melting. Oh, this was fantastic… Ten times better than any asada Alejandro had ever made…

He stood and practically ripped the closet door open, before his head was swinging back at the sound of a gunshot.

He gasped, now staring up at the ceiling. His sight didn’t see… couldn’t make his brain move… no way to control his control…

Focus, unfocus… what was going on? Fuck. He jerked his head back upright, hitting the back of his head and a bullet popped out of the front. He reached up and touched his forehead where he could feel a giant chunk of his skull was missing, though it was already being reformed.

He blinked and looked down at the bullet in his head, able to see the pink squishy brain matter still attached to it.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?!” Rodolfo’s head jerked in the direction of the man that was speaking. His button down shirt was soaked in blood and Rodolfo’s mouth was watering again.

Rodolfo didn’t even bother to give him a response, he was starving. He needed to eat, he needed to eat now. The woman had given him permission and he was taking it. He dropped down and yanked the man’s legs down, half straddling him.

“Get away from me, you freak!” He screamed and tried to shove Rodolfo off, but Rodolfo just slammed his arms down and put his boots on his wrists. He writhed and continued to scream but Rodolfo ignored him, taking deep breaths.

“This is going to hurt,” Rodolfo murmured before pressing his fingers between the buttons of the man’s shirt and then digging them in, deeper than his shirt, deeper than his skin. He ignored his screaming and hooked his fingers under the ribs, one hand hooking under the sternum, and he ripped his chest open.

Buttons flew everywhere and he screamed so loud Rodolfo almost worried someone would hear, but he didn’t care. He was starving.

He thrust his hand into his chest, digging around until he wrapped his hand around the thrumming beating delicacy he was damn near desperate for. He ripped it out of the man’s chest, his screams turning to gasps that slowed to a stop. Finally, he was shutting the fuck up.

Rodolfo didn’t even hesitate to sink his teeth into the organ, ripping a chunk out of it. It was fantastic… bloody and squishy and so fucking delicious and he needed more. He continued to bite chunks out of it, hardly stopping to chew before he was swallowing them down, reveling in the sensation of blood running down his throat.

God, Rodolfo had never in his life actually eaten. He had never truly eaten until this moment, this was fantastic! He wanted more, he needed more, he was still starving!

He ripped flesh from the man’s body, just consuming and ripping it to pieces with his teeth. Blood dripped down his face and he licked what remained on his fingers and he just continued to consume and eat and tear and eat until finally…

He was sated. Full.

Even then, he still licked the blood from his fingers, moaning from how sweet it was. The iron was an amazing taste and he wanted to melt into it, drink until he was throwing it back up. It was practically intoxicating.

No, it was intoxicating and he was glad to be intoxicated. This was so much better than any tequila or wine he’d ever drank before, it made his stomach warm and his head fuzzy, but it was amazing and he wanted to live in the feeling.

He touched his forehead, feeling that his skull was fully reformed, he didn’t even feel a scar. Then, he looked around and fully realized what was going on.

He stood, immediately, stumbling back and staring at his hands. Oh god, he’d eaten someone, he’d… he’d eaten someone… Oh god, oh god, oh god.

His radio was making noise and he turned his focus to it. “Rodolfo! Where the fuck are you?!”

“Coming, commander!” Rodolfo quickly said, wiping at his face. He used a cloth to get what he could from his chin so it didn’t look like he’d eaten anything and then swished water from his canteen around in his mouth before spitting it.

He stared at the body, which was almost unrecognizable, and tried not to start screaming, the images of him just ripping into it and stuffing the flesh down his throat coming back. Oh god… He hunched over, feeling sick again.

No, no, he didn’t have time for that, Alejandro was going to lose his shit. He quickly turned and left, running out and finding Alejandro.

#Alejandro Vargas #Rodolfo Parra #Alejandro x Rodolfo #Aledolfo #Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II #Call Of Duty #alejandro cod #rodolfo cod #tw: su1cide #tw: cannibalism #dd:de

88 notes · View notes

lumine-no-hikari · 5 months

Text

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #123

Sometime after the events of yesterday, but before bed last night, J took me to the local food co-op. This is because some time ago, Br bought some boxed macaroni and cheese (henceforth shortened to mac-n-chz) that she thought was gluten-free, but wasn't. Br has a gluten allergy, but M, J, and I do not, so she gave us the boxed mac-n-chz.

It is unusual mac-n-chz, though, in that the cheese powder it comes with is made of goat's milk. Goat's milk is common in some parts of my world, but it's uncommon where I live. I don't know if you've ever had it, but I like it a lot; it has a stronger flavor than cow's milk - a bit more sour and savory, somehow. But some people really don't like it; those who don't like it would describe the flavor as "gamey", and I suppose that's fair. The sensory hardware that comes with inhabiting a flesh-vessel is different for everyone, and what is a pleasant sensory experience for someone can be an unpleasant sensory experience for someone else; it is the way of things.

I am fortunate to be one of the folks who does not dislike this flavor. So I thought to prepare the boxed mac-n-chz yesterday, because I felt awful about the bird and I thought eating something with a lot of cheese would help me feel a little better (this, too, is the way of things; I am a derpy autistic cheese goblin, after all - it is simply my nature). But the box said that it should be prepared with goat milk and goat butter. You usually can't find these things in an ordinary grocery store where I live. I was going to give up on preparing the boxed mac-n-chz yesterday, but then J encouraged me to go with him to the co-op; I guess, given my mental state, he probably thought it would have been good for me to get out of the house and get my mind off the bird. He was correct, as per usual.

…I ended up returning home with A LOT more than just goat's milk and goat's butter. I… miiiight have, in my half-numb, half-sad stupor, gotten like 3 containers of ice cream and several weird-looking potato chip flavors; I'll show you the ice cream I got tomorrow; I'm gonna put it in tea. But the potato chip flavors were "fried egg", "ham", "truffle", "garlic parmesan", and "ranch". By the time we got home, though, I had next to no energy left, so instead of preparing the mac-n-chz, J and I went to go visit Br, and that was a good time. Then we went home and watched the Fallout show with M, and that was also a good time.

…You might be pleased to know that I actually went to bed relatively on time last night. It's been a while since last that happened. I woke up feeling pretty good. I'm still really sad about the bird, of course, but I hope wherever its soul is now, it's having a fun time.

In light of yesterday's events, and in light of the fact that I didn't get to have mac-n-chz yesterday, and in light of the fact that I seem to be having some serious misgivings today about the fact that I am autistic (and therefore broadly considered creepy, unlikable, and generally socially unacceptable by default), I decided that today is an ice cream and mac-n-chz sort of day today. And… no, not in the same bowl, I promise, ahahahaha~!

I didn't eat any of the ice cream that I bought yesterday, though. No, as it turns out, my favorite bubble tea shop started serving ice cream just yesterday! Check it out:

These flavors are Jasmine Green Tea, Ube, Earl Grey Tea, and Thai Tea. And I gotta say, they were all REALLY GOOD; good enough to get past the, "oh no, it's a cold thing, and cold things feel like fire on my flesh" glitch that my body carries. I was unable to pick a favorite because they were all equally fabulous!

Hey Sephiroth? Have any of your friends ever taken you out to go get ice cream? Do you like ice cream? If you do, then what flavors do you like best? I know you can't answer me, and that kinda sucks, but I'll ask anyway; you deserve to have folks in your life who know and are willing to consider your preference and experiences. You deserve to consider your own preferences and experiences; when is the last time you thought about your favorite foods and favorite people and favorite places to go, anyway? It's good to revisit the memories and the things in our lives that bring us joy from time to time.

After I got home, I made the mac-n-chz. Do you like mac-n-chz? Have you ever had it? Have you ever prepared it? Have you ever had someone prepare it for you? I don't know the answers to these, so I'll walk you through the process, just in case; it's very simple, and the simple things are often the best things!

You start by doing the dishes! As explained some number of letters ago, I have music playing so that my brain doesn't get spooked by the fact that I'm doing a household task and accidentally do an involuntary mental time travel to a time when failing to do a housetask well enough or fast enough was a punishable offense, haha...

If you recall, this list I am using today is one that I reproduced on YouTube, just in case you might wanna give it a listen. But within this list, this item matches the inside of my mind most closely:

youtube

...And in case you're wondering why we do the dishes first, it's because the next step is to stick a pasta strainer in the sink, like this:

From there, you gotta get an ordinary pot and fill it about 2/3rds of the way with water, like this:

Then you gotta bring it to a boil. On my stove, it's easy; you just stick a lid on the pot and set the temperature of the burner to 9, and wait a little while:

While waiting for that, we can check the ingredients and instructions on the box, like so:

...Often enough, you'll end up disregarding some of these. For example, I didn't measure out the water. I did use goat's milk and goat's butter in the specified amounts, yes, but I used whole goat milk and slightly salted goat butter:

From there, we open the pasta box and take out the packets of powdered cheese:

Getting the cheese packet out of the box will make it easier to pour the noodles into the pot when the time comes!

On my stove, water takes about 20 minutes to boil, which is fine; it is common knowledge that this time passes quickly - as long as you're not watching the pot. That bit is very important; if you watch the pot, the time will instead move about as quickly as pouring molasses from a jar that has been left outside in the cold - which is to say, it won't. It's the law, and nobody knows why.

Oh hey, Sephiroth? Maybe you know why? You're over there experiencing quantum physics firsthand over at the Edge of Creation, right? Can you tell me why watched pots resist boiling? I wonder... Lemme know if you figure it out, okay?

In any case, you can put your noodles in the pot when the water reaches a rolling boil. A rolling boil looks like this:

I set the kitchen timer for 9 minutes just like the box said:

...Then I poured in the noodles!

From there, you have to stir constantly for the whole 9 minutes, or else the noodles will clump together, or stick to the bottom of the pot. You can put oil in the water to prevent this, but then the sauce won't stick to the noodles, and that is not ideal. Once the timer is done, you taste-test one of the noodles to make sure it's good:

9 minutes wasn't long enough to cook the noodles all the way through, so I gave it another 3 minutes; it was good after that.

The next step is to dump the contents of the pot into the strainer we prepared in the sink earlier. But this pot is kinda stupid (I need a new one) because the handles get really hot when you heat it up. So I put on my handy-dandy oven mitts:

...Mine are really long because I am dyspraxic; the possibility of burning my forearms on the heating elements when I put things into the oven or take things out of the oven is a real concern. So it's best to protect my whole forearm instead of just my hands, so that way I don't get hurt. Besides, if I put on my oven mitts and also my onion-cutting-goggles while holding my ceramic chef's knife, I can cackle maniacally in the kitchen like a crazed scientist and accidentally scare the socks off of passers-by near my window, and that's always a nice bonus! 🤪🤣 (Speaking of disturbing passers-by near my kitchen window, I am remembering this one time, when J and I were in the kitchen, and he was heckling me about the fact that I need to eat more fruit, so just to be silly, I started eating a banana in the most wildly inappropriate way I possibly could, just as some poor gentleman was dropping off food that M ordered. The flabbergasted look on the man's face as he peered into our window was ABSOLUTELY. PRICELESS!! Ahahahahaaaa~! 🤣🤣🤣)

(But that's what you get for peering into people's windows, so no, I am absolutely not sorry!!! Not even the tiniest little bit!!! 😂😂😂)

Anyway! So I drained the pasta:

From there, the bottom of the pot will still be warm, so you can use that to melt the butter; I am making two boxes of mac-n-chz, so we need 2 tablespoons of butter:

...Two boxes of this mac-n-chz calls for 8 tablespoons of milk; that's the same thing as half a cup:

Then you'll dump in the cheese packets, and use a whisk to make a sauce:

Then, you dump your noodles in and mix 'em up with the sauce:

...Finally, we have the bowl of mac-n-chz that I very much wish I could give to you:

...It's a simple and easy thing; not the fanciest. But it's still good. It's still wholesome. It's still full of love and joy. What I wouldn't give just to be able to hand you a bowl of this...

...Well, it is what it is. And all I can do is deal with it in the way that I know how. All I can do is write to you and hope that it gets through to you somehow...

...somehow...

...OH! I almost forgot!! On the way to do errands and get ice cream, the sky was really nice today, and I also saw a bumblebee! I know you like nature, so I thought to snap a couple pictures for you:

...ya know... just to remind you that the world is beautiful. Even when it's filled with senseless pain, even when people respond with rage and self-directed violence when you try to set a boundary, and even when your brain is being mean and trying to tell you that everything is hopeless. It's still beautiful when people tell you, directly or indirectly, that you don't belong, or that your words and the contents of your mind are less valuable than your physical vessel.

This world is still beautiful no matter how hard it tries to break you. And there is beauty within persisting, within refusing to stay on the ground, within rising up from your knees and choosing to live in wholesome love and joy. There is beauty within counting on the people around you and seeing through eyes other than your own when you can't muster up the strength by yourself.

Sephiroth, please don't give up. Because, yes, I know there's violence and greed and bloodshed and unimaginable amounts of suffering in this place. But there's also bumblebees and mac-n-chz and ice cream and tea and sunshine and the sky, and people who would do anything to give you these things, if only they could. And these things are worth fighting for. You just gotta open your eyes and set them on a new horizon.

I'll be right here until you come back, okay? I'll keep being right here, calling out to you, singing you a little song, and thinking of you anytime I get to experience wholesome, beautiful things. I'll be waiting right here, no matter how long it takes.

I love you, and I'll write again soon. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

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petit-papillion · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/petit-papillion/742595050403446784?source=share

Its sad that they didn't trust charles to be the leader of the project. Now they're talking about him learning like he was some rookie. He will be 28 when lewis arrive, in his seven season at f1. That's his prime

The story of an unexperienced charles learning by having a wdc teammate already happened in 2019. They decided to send the wdc away and supposedly were going to focus on charles as the new leader, but that never happened. And now they're selling this lewis move with the same story again, "a opportunity for charles" he will learn", as if time hasn't passed. Maybe it's because charles looks very boyish still so it's easy to sell the apprentice narrative.

Honesty I wouldn't be surprised if after 2028 max eventually decides to try ferrari, they will boot charles away without ever actually giving him the car to win and trusting him to lead the project.

Hi Anon! Respectfully, hard disagree. I don't think this is a matter of Charles being inexperienced/an apprentice, who needs someone to learn from. Charles is a very capable and accomplished driver himself. That doesn't mean there aren't still things he can learn from someone with many more years of driving experience (in a championship-winning car no less) than him. It would be the same if Alonso had joined the team. Fernando is a very cunning driver who has often used his seniority in driving experience to his advantage. To not see it as an opportunity to learn new or improve existing skills, would be foolish.

I think Ferrari also hopes Lewis' knowledge of how Mercedes operates as a team, comparing their car to the ones he drove for Merc, etc. will be beneficial to help the Ferrari team grow. There are many reasons for Ferrari to want Lewis on their team, that are not needing someone else to lead the project.

Time will tell whether I am right in my assumptions, but I truly believe that they are not discarding Charles as their hope for next WDC. They know that Charles is extremely well liked all around, he is a marketing dream, the tifosi worship the ground he walks on, and after everything he has been through (both in his personal life and with Ferrari), it would be a true fairy tale if he was the one to bring the championship home again at last.

As for Ferrari booting Charles out for Max... Not going to say "inconceivable", because stranger things have happened in F1, but I'd find it highly unlikely with the current people in place at Ferrari, and what I know about Max (which, granted, is not a lot). Let's not forget they were at risk of losing Charles after Silverstone, and they ended up replacing Binotto with Fred, who has a strong relationship with Charles (and Lewis for that matter). And then they gave Fred pretty much free rein to hire/fire as he saw fit to make the team stronger, (with some of the first people to go being those who did not appear to be supporting Charles as the #1 driver).

I do feel like there is a risk of Lewis getting credit for turning the team around when he arrives in 2025, when it is clear that Fred has been working hard to make changes since he started last year. And Charles's input is clearly more valued now. His feedback/suggestions being implemented in car development, strategy, etc. So I really hope that Ferrari can already show this year that they are making giant steps forward, and Charles can pocket a decent number of podiums/wins. Of course there's no telling how dominant the Newey/RB/Max combo will be this year. We may just be looking at another season ending with 23/24 wins by RBR...

In closing, here is a lovely quote from John Elkann at the 2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix: "Charles is a very strong driver with enormous potential, and there is no reason why he cannot become world champion."

#sorry this got so long #as i've said before #i may be delulu #but i have complete faith in charles #and in fred #fingers crossed my posts all age well!!#anon ask #charles leclerc #fred vasseur #lewis hamilton #lewis to ferrari #john elkann

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shwoo · 1 year

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Doing the final edit of this fanfic did not take me as long as I thought it would. First half is done!

(Filbo's dad isn't the greatest parent, but he's not abusive and Filbo isn't scared of him, just to be clear. Filbo just doesn't like to see people upset, especially loved ones.)

TItle: Just Dropping in (part 1 of 2) Summary: Filbo has lived with his dad almost all his life, but now that he's back from Snaktooth, he's decided to stay with some journalist who wasn't even part of the original expedition. Filbo's dad has some suspicions. He has a lot of suspicions. (Also on AO3)

Chapter 1: Keep It Under Wraps! Chapter 2: Don't Spill The Beans!

The door to Theobe's apartment still appeared to be closed and locked. That was a good start, they guessed. They'd half-expected to come home to find it wide open. At two months, the Snaktooth trip wasn't exactly their longest ever, but…

They shifted their grocery bags to one arm and opened the door, to an untouched front hall, and sighed. All right. Back to the real world.

Filbo followed them in. "Wow, Buddy, you live here?" He stopped to admire the hat rack next to the door. "A hat rack? You really thought of everything!"

Theobe smiled. Almost back to normal. They made a detour to the kitchen to drop their groceries on the counter -- they'd put them away in a second -- and headed to the living room to lie on the couch.

The living room was as immaculate as they'd left it, which knowing them, was probably going to last another five minutes. They gave the main couch an experimental push, and it once again failed to sprout cockroaches. Disappointed, they flopped backwards onto the couch cushions.

They were going to order pizza later. The two of them had decided on pepperoni, and Theobe could almost feel the crispness of the crust and the chewiness of the base. And the cheese… Soft and melty, but still semi-solid. And real tomatoes in the sauce, tangy without being covered by overwhelming sweetness…

Filbo entered the room from the kitchen, with the same boundless energy he'd had since they'd left Wiggle's play. "Whoa, that is a lot of books, Buddy," he said, pointing at the bookshelves. "And did I see a coffee machine back there?" He sounded hopeful.

Theobe tried to shrug. "I am a journalist." They'd had some pretty tough deadlines in the past. They did sometimes like to sleep, though, unlike some editors they could mention.

Filbo crossed the room to the hall door. "And what's through here?"

Reluctantly, Theobe rolled off the couch. They probably should show their new guest around. They could rest after that.

They showed Filbo the bathroom, the bedroom, the spare room, and then the office, which Filbo seemed particularly impressed with. He seemed impressed with everything, but Theobe had learned to pick up on the nuance by now.

"I wish I had a whole room just to work in," he said, as they headed back to the living room. "Not that I… have any work to do." He laughed weakly. "Uh… too bad Beffica didn't wanna stay with us, huh?"

"I think she wants to live on her own," said Theobe. She was going to have trouble finding a place on such short notice, but they knew how much she hated having to rely on someone else's goodwill.

Also, all three of them knew that she wouldn't enjoy living with Filbo, and Filbo would enjoy it even less, so it was a little weird that he'd been the one to suggest it. For someone who was always telling Theobe to look out for themself more, he wasn't good at taking his own advice.

"Well, she'll be fine, I guess," said Filbo. He looked at the phone sitting on the corner table. "Oh, and we better make sure Cromdo got in touch with his sister." He cleared his throat a couple of times. "Speaking of which… I kinda gotta call my family. You know, let them know I'm not… dead… Can I borrow your phone? They're a little far away, but I'll pay you back! I'm… good for it… Heh."

"Don't worry about it," said Theobe. They weren't rich, but they owned their apartment outright, and a long-distance phone call wasn't going to break the bank. "Call your family!"

"Hey, thanks, Buddy!" said Filbo. He picked up the phone and hit the keypad, mumbling to himself. After a few seconds, someone picked up. "Aunt Susma! Hi! It's me, Filbo!"

Theobe sat in the armchair closest to the corner table. Filbo had talked a little about his family, but never in much detail. This could be interesting.

"Nope, still alive, haha," Filbo responded. "We had to cut things a little short, but I'm staying in New Gr-- Oh, hi, dad!"

Theobe cocked their head. Filbo had said several things about his dad, Miglo. Positive things, mostly, but Filbo could say very positive things in very concerning ways. His dad was, at the least, a bit overprotective.

Filbo's expression had turned slightly nervous. "I was just telling Aunt Susma I was gonna stay in good ol NGC for-- No, I'm okay, really! Still got.. all my limbs…" He looked at his left arm as he spoke. It was currently part banana and part jerky, but Theobe had to agree, it was still there.

Theobe could faintly hear Filbo's dad over the phone. He sounded agitated, but they could have guessed that from Filbo's half of the conversation. They couldn't really blame this Miglo guy for being upset. Filbo had been gone for a year, and Snaktooth Island did have a reputation.

"Actually, I'm staying with a friend?" Filbo continued, with a glance at Theobe. "They're a journalist, I met them on Snak-- Well, no, but Lizbert invited them after we got there, and…" he chuckled, "they did save my life a couple times--" He winced, and held the phone away from his earhole.

The chattering from the phone had got louder. Theobe could almost make out words, but not quite. And they guessed they shouldn't pry, even though they really wanted to. Filbo looked stressed enough as it was.

"Dad! Dad, please calm down. I'm fine, I swear! We got out there… Huh? Oh, right." Filbo smiled. "Their name…" he said proudly, "is Theoblab."

Theobe had a bad habit of forgetting to introduce themself by name, and when Filbo had started calling them "Buddy", they'd assumed it was a generic nickname he used for everyone. And at first, that had definitely been true. He'd called everyone Buddy, often several times a day. But as Snaxburg had repopulated, Filbo had begun to stop using it as much, until the only person he stilladdressed that way was Theobe. By the boat ride back, they'd had been on the verge of asking him if he thought they really were called Buddy, when Filbo had finally, sheepishly, asked for their name.

"Uh…" Filbo continued. "Hang on, dad." He covered the receiver, and turned to Theobe, squinting. "Buddy? What's your last name, again?"

Theobe couldn't be surprised that he'd forgotten already. Besides, it was an easy one to mix up. "Rumplerun," they said.

Filbo uncovered the receiver. "Rumplerun!" he said into the phone. "They're writing a story about Snaktooth Island-- I'm staying to help them out, like they helped all of us out on--" He paused. "Well, I can't just come home on such short notice… Besides, I promised." He listened again. "I wanna see more of the city. And uh, broaden my horizons…?" Another pause. "Yeah, but I don't really remember much from back then… Uh, I'll ask them." He put his banana-y paw back over the receiver. "My dad wants to talk to you."

"Sure thing," said Theobe. "I'm a little nervous," they added with a laugh. They weren't, but talking to hostile sources wasn't their favourite thing in the world.

"Aw, don't be!" said Filbo, handing them the phone. "He's not… uh…" He scratched his head. "Well, he's all the way back home!"

Theobe took the receiver. "Hello? Theoblab Rumplerun speaking…"

"Miglo Fiddlepie," snapped the voice on the other end. "Now, what are your intentions with my son?!"

"Um…" said Theobe. Maybe that meant something different where Miglo lived. He didn't seem to have an accent, though. At least, his accent wasn't any different from Theobe's. "A roof over his head while he's in town?"

Miglo grunted. "Are you even a real journalist?"

"What?" said Theobe. "Of course! I work for GNN…" They hoped that would be true for longer than it took to write their Snaktooth story.

"Well, Theoblab Rumplerun who works for GNN," began Miglo.

"That's me," Theobe put in.

"Watch yourself," said Miglo. "I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."

There was a click, and a dial tone.

Theobe looked at the receiver. "He didn't say goodbye…"

"Heh, yeah," said Filbo. "Sorry about my dad, Buddy. He can be… a little intense."

"I've talked to worse," said Theobe with a shrug. They hoped Miglo had fun trying to get to the bottom of nothing in particular. They had a couch to go lie on.

Theobe sorted through their pile of drafts, which by now was threatening to take over their entire desk. They had plenty of raw material, and it was far past time to start putting it all in order. They were definitely starting the story off at the mysterious door, just before Filbo and Eggabell had finally managed to open it, and then they were going to switch to their arrival on the island. They'd retooled the giant moth made of pizza into gale force winds, and they'd done enough research on balloon accidents that they were sure it could stand up to reasonable scrutiny.

But then what? Then they profiled someone, but who did they start off with? Filbo? And after that, did they go back to their fall into the "lava tubes" under the mountain? Or did they continue with profiles and village life, and save all the Lizbert stuff for the end? Theobe had become sure that the real key to selling stories about mysteries was to emphasise the Grumpus element, so the village life was vital.

But they still needed to spice it up with action, and since they were leaving out the Snak hunts, a lot of that action was right at the start or the end of their trip. They might be able to get away with adding the expeditions they'd conducted with Triffany, but how non-linear could they get, before Clumby started complaining at them again for alienating their audience?

Most of what they'd written was still technically debunkable, but at least this time Theobe knew it. And if someone else got close enough to Snaktooth Island to force a retraction, then everyone had bigger problems than Theobe's job security.

There were muffled sounds coming from down the hall-- voices. Mostly Filbo, but there was someone else, too, and it didn't sound like the radio. And Filbo seemed to be squeaking a lot, and he'd been doing that a lot less lately. Theobe scribbled a quick note about event ordering on some scrap paper, and jumped up to investigate.

Filbo was in the front hall, talking to someone over the intercom. "I'm not really dressed to go out--" he began, then turned to Theobe with a smile. "Buddy! I was just about to come get you! My dad is, uh… here."

"Your… dad?" repeated Theobe, confused. Their first thought was that he couldn't be. He didn't live here, he lived in some small town near Grumpney. Or according to Filbo, not that near. But obviously, he didn't have to stay there, any more than Filbo did.

"Hey!" said the voice from the intercom, who did sound a lot like the grump Theobe had spoken to on the phone a few weeks ago. "I hear you! Let Filbo down here!"

"I'm not stopping him," said Theobe into the intercom. They tried to think. As usual, Filbo was wearing only his mayoral sash, and it seemed clean, but he did still have a Razzby instead of a right foot, and the Inchwrap he'd eaten the day before the party had migrated to his left arm. So in that sense, he'd been telling the truth. He really wasn't dressed to go out. Maybe in few more days.

"I'd really rather stay up here, dad," said Filbo quickly. "Uh, that's why I didn't get dressed properly today. I'm not feeling too great. I think it's something I ate." He chuckled slightly. "M… maybe you can come up here?" He looked at Theobe as he spoke.

Theobe got the question in his expression. "Sure, why not?" It seemed like Miglo wasn't going to go away unless they gave him at least something. And despite his hostility, Theobe was getting very curious to meet Filbo's dad. He'd had a hard life, Filbo had said.

Filbo looked relieved. "Because if you came up here, you could see that everything's fine. I'm just having a fun vacation!"

Miglo grumbled for a second, then said "Fine. But people know where I am."

"Uh," said Filbo. He gave Theobe a confused look. "That's… good?"

"I'll see you in the lobby," said Theobe, and turned off the intercom. See how he liked not being said goodbye to.

Filbo grabbed his head. "Oh, grump, what are we gonna do? Why did I invite him up here?" He lowered his arms. "No, no, we'll get through it. He's gotta see me, or he's just gonna worry. And maybe… call the police again."

"Again?" said Theobe, intrigued. But now wasn't the time. "How are you gonna hide the Snakifications? We could get out the cloak." Filbo usually wore a cloak when he had to go outside, but it would look really weird to wear one indoors. They were more of a poor weather thing, if anything.

Filbo seemed to have recovered. "That won't be necessary, because I have a secret weapon!" He ran out of the room, and returned with a large bag of gummy grumps. "Ta-da!"

Theobe inspected it, noting the speech bubble above the cheerful Grumpuses on the front, which declared that "We're 100% Sugar-Free!"

"Hey, try not to eat too many of those." One time, Theobe had eaten a whole bag in one sitting, after reading an article in Grumpus Health and getting curious. It had been the second least pleasant post-food experience of their life. Worth it for the fact check, though.

Filbo smirked. "That's the whole point, Buddy! I figure I can get rid of… at least one of these?" He looked at his Inchwrap arm, then his Razzby leg.

"Ah," said Theobe. He was trying to speed up his next detransformation. That would do it, but it only ever seemed to work on one body part at a time. Something about programmed cell death in Snakmatter and digestive capacity? Floofty had started to describe it, but they'd spent just as much time complaining about the loss of their research, and wondering aloud if Eggabell's notes had survived, so they didn't seem to know much more about it than anybody else. And then there was their leg…

Theobe was a little grossed out by Filbo's plan, but they guessed they couldn't talk, with their own experiments. And that favour they'd done for Wambus on Snaktooth.

They grabbed their keys from the side table next to the door, and said "See you in a few."

Filbo ripped open the bag and tossed a couple of gummy grumps into his mouth. "Uh, try not to let my dad get to you, Buddy." He swallowed, and tossed in a few more. "He's just… protective. He can't find out about Bugsnax, or he'll freak out even worse."

Theobe smiled. "Don't worry, Filbo, he won't hear about them from me."

Theobe had been half-worried and half-hoping that Miglo would leave before they could get downstairs, but there in the lobby was a Grumpus with a very familiar build. He also had lilac-coloured fur and a slight overbite, but otherwise, he looked a lot like Filbo.

The Grumpus looked up as Theobe approached, and scowled. "So you are who you said you were."

It was definitely him. Unless the city was hosting a soundalike convention in the hotel across the street or something.

"Uh, yeah," said Theobe. "Listen, can you call ahead next time? We, uh, weren't expecting anyone today." Theobe had never been very sociable outside of their job, and this was the first time they and Filbo had had to figure out how to host someone not in on the secret.

Miglo followed them to the elevator. "I shouldn't have to call to see my son."

Theobe was pretty sure that being related didn't exempt him from giving them a heads up, but they didn't say so. Nothing Filbo had said had given the impression that Miglo was a violent grump, but he did seem to be barely restraining himself from… something.

After a few seconds of silence in the elevator, Miglo cleared his throat. "Why would you agree to put up someone you just met, anyway?"

"What?" said Theobe. "Filbo? I didn't just… We met on Snaktooth! Didn't he tell you?" They were pretty sure they remembered him saying that.

"Hmp," said Miglo.

"Really," said Theobe, who was getting the sense that Miglo didn't believe them. "He got the town running again-- If he hadn't been there, we don't know what would've happened."

Filbo usually attributed Snaxburg's revival to Theobe, but Theobe didn't see how. All they'd done was catch Bugsnax and listen to people, which they'd had to do to keep their job. They'd spent so much time exploring the island and catching Bugsnax that they hadn't even been in town half the time. And meanwhile, Filbo had made sure to check on everyone every single day.

Miglo chuckled. "Ah, so you don't know him at all."

They reached Theobe's floor, and Theobe thought better of what they'd been about to say. "I think you're selling Filbo short," they said instead.

They were beginning to have some suspicions about the way Filbo always put himself down.

Theobe unlocked the door to find Filbo waiting for them in the front hall. He'd changed into rain boots to hide his raspberry foot, and was holding his left arm behind his back. "Dad!" he said, with what sounded like genuine enthusiasm. "Great to see you!"

Theobe's rain boots were going to be sticky after this. It was a good thing that their allergies only seemed to respond to living Bugsnax.

"Filbo, you're all right!" said Miglo, sounding relieved. They hugged briefly, Filbo only using his right arm. Then Miglo added "Uh, what are you holding behind your back?"

"Well, I'll bet you're tired from your trip," said Filbo, beckoning him with his right arm. "Buddy has a really good coffee maker."

Miglo narrowed his eyes and looked around. "And who is Buddy?"

"Oh!" Filbo laughed sheepishly. "That's Theobe… It's kind of like an… inside joke…?"

Theobe waved. There was something bizarre about hearing their real name come out of Filbo's mouth.

Filbo walked sideways through the door to the dining room, and Miglo followed.

He frowned, then sniffed. "Seems clean enough."

"I vacuumed just this morning," said Filbo proudly.

Miglo turned on Theobe so fast that Theobe jumped. "You're making him do all the housework? Just because he's unemployed? Hasn't he been through enough already?"

Filbo ran between them. "It's okay, dad, it's okay! We split the chores. We even have a chore wheel." He took a step back to hide his arm, and pointed at the fridge in the kitchen nook.

"Yeah, over here," said Theobe. They hadn't really seen the point in having a chore wheel for just two people, but Filbo had insisted. He'd decorated his side of the wheel with a paw print and a smiley face, so Theobe had put their own, slightly smaller paw print on their side, as well as a doodle of a pencil.

While Miglo was looking at the chore wheel, Filbo put his right hand behind his head, smiled, and tried to make some sort of gesture with his lettuce arm. He glanced at it, and whipped it behind his back again.

"Hmp," said Miglo, and headed back to the dining area.

Theobe bit back a sarcastic comment about whether he'd finished his inspection, and said "So, how would you like your coffee? Would you like some music?" They gestured at the tape deck in the corner of the room.

Miglo glared. "Regular coffee. No music. Quit trying to suck up to me."

"Uh, dad, shouldn't you have soy milk, or creamer…?" said Filbo.

"Oh, yeah," said Miglo quickly. "Soy milk, please."

"Sure thing," said Theobe. Filbo was lactose intolerant as well. They also had oat milk, for Shelda, though she preferred flax milk. "Or we have oat--"

"Soy," said Miglo. "Don't even try to get on my good side. My daughter-- Filbo's little sister-- she had a teacher who tried that once."

"Dad…" said Filbo, sounding a little exasperated. He glanced at Theobe, and shrugged.

"No, they need to hear this," said Miglo. "She's a film-making genius-- so good her tenth grade media teacher tried to enter her final assignment in a contest as his own!" He paused.

Theobe could tell he wanted them to ask what had happened to them. They considered pretending to be completely absorbed in measuring coffee into the filter, but they were a little curious. "Okay, then what?"

"I made some calls," said Miglo happily. "Now he's blacklisted from teaching for life! Filmmaking, too. I have connections."

"Yeah…" said Filbo weakly. "That sure was… a thing that happened." He didn't sound sarcastic. Just like he'd heard this story too many times.

Theobe wasn't sure they believed what Miglo was saying, although Filbo clearly seemed to. "You did all that just because he tried to get on your good side?" they said, as they turned the machine on.

"You have no idea who my stepfather is, do you?" said Miglo. "Of course you don't."

Theobe wanted to say that Filbo had somehow forgotten to give them an itemised list of all of his relatives on the day they met. Instead, they said "Nope."

"Not even a guess?" said Miglo.

Well, at least he was enjoying himself now. "The head of the Grumpinati?" said Theobe.

"Ever heard of Barolb Heavytreat?" Miglo continued.

"The senator?" said Theobe, legitimately surprised. He might as well have been the head of the Grumpinati, for the influence he had. Heavytreat definitely was married, but they couldn't remember what his husband's name was.

"Dad, please don't be so hard on Buddy-- I mean Theobe," said Filbo. "They're just a great Grumpus. They helped everyone on the island!"

Of course they had. Filbo had asked them to. "Even Cromdo." Theobe didn't actually dislike Cromdo, but he'd been hard to deal with before he'd stopped hiding his interests.

The coffee maker was starting to give off a delicious smell. Theobe had spent so much time trying to imagine what Bugsnax must smell like to the others that a lot of normal food smells still set off the memories. But never coffee. Maybe there was a coffee Bugsnak someone on the island, but if there was, they'd never encounter it.

"Filbo, you don't need to cover for them," said Miglo, more gently than Theobe had heard him speak so far. He hesitated. "Wait. Are they the one who made you wear that ridiculous sash? Is that part of their 'help'?"

Filbo picked at his sash. "It's not ridiculous…"

"Or was that Lizbert?" said Miglo. "Good thing you never married her. I had her totally wrong!"

"Still mad, huh?" said Filbo, half to himself.

"You and Lizbert dated?" said Theobe, surprised. Given what they knew about their age difference and when Lizbert had left home, they weren't sure when that could have even happened.

"No!" said Filbo. "Never. Dad's just…" He looked at his dad and laughed nervously.

"Thinking about your future," said Miglo.

"Well," said Filbo, "The sash was, uh, my idea. People kinda kept forgetting I was mayor, so I… But I wasn't really mayor, nobody elected me, so I was kind of like… honorary mayor? Nobody else wanted to do it, so…" He laughed again.

"You did a great job, Filbo," said Theobe.

"Aw, thanks, Buddy," said Filbo, sounding as touched as he did every time Theobe told him that. "Dad, I hope you'll forgive Lizbert one day. She didn't even really…" He frowned suddenly. "Oh, gru-- uh, gosh. I gotta go. Excuse me!" He rushed through the living room door.

Miglo jumped to his feet.

"He's just going to the bathroom!" said Theobe. Obviously the gummy grumps had kicked in. Right when the coffee was ready, too. Oh well.

(Important author's note: I know about Joey Quickbeans. But apparently, in this story Theobe does not)

(Next Chapter)

#Bugsnax #Bugsnax Journalist #Filbo Fiddlepie #fanfiction #Shwoo's writing #Platonic filbuddy I guess?#They are both extremely impressed with each other #I like Miglo a lot but I don't know if anyone else would #I came up with a whole backstory to keep his behaviour consistent but it's only slightly alluded to here

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shanksbaby · 2 years

Note

Shanksy babe- the shunsui x cam girlreader was *chefs kiss*. AMAZING plz tell me there’s more- they have to get together- (no pressure if you don’t want to write more though.) but anyways I love that you write for him, it’s been super hard to find bleachblongs that are still active let alone write for Shunsui, so thanks for doing gods work out here 👏👏

thank u so much for everything <3 here a pt 2 :D

warning: NSFW,modern!au, fem!reader

Shunsui Kyōraku

after you both confessed your love, Shunsui invited you to dinner: he took you to a luxurious restaurant, one of those that had wonderful views and served champagne. No matter how much you made, you didn't make that much, so you were immediately in awe, even though on the other side you were afraid you were wearing the wrong dress.

best date (actually all the previous ones had lowered the bar a lot): your date behaved like a true gentleman, moving the chair for you, pouring you the wine, paying for you, opening the door for you. In short, you felt like someone important.

he asked you personal questions which you were happy to answer, nothing that mentioned work or why you were doing it, you also asked questions about his life. He confessed to you that he belongs to a prestigious company, that he is a sake drinker and that he is an extremely lazy person.

later he drove you home, you didn't let him in and he didn't ask, you simply exchanged a passionate kiss on the lips. However he asked you for a second date, you obviously accepted. You don't know how long you've wanted to want to date a man like that.

for the second exit he took you to a museum, one of the ones you've always wanted to see. All the time you did nothing but comment on the works, filling him with information after information, while he was watching you with a look full of adoration all the while, smiling at the sight of you in love with the works of great artists.

the third outing instead you eat at his house. He had tried to cook something for you but it ended up scorching everything so he had ordered take out. You chatted for quite a while over good wine and good food. You couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach when you were with him.

the third issue unlike the others ended with you having sex on the couch of his house. It was you who started the kiss, while he was about to take away the dirty dishes: you pounced on him, and he immediately reciprocated by picking you up and carrying you on the sofa of his house.

he slowly pulled your undergarments off, and gave you one of the best orals you've ever received. From her pleasure you arched her back and grabbed her legs around her body while squeezing her hair. His tongue… wow, he could do his job.

" Shun........Please, i am coming "

"Then cum for me, my darling "

then he pushed his big cock into your vagina, giving you some pain immediately turned into pleasure. He wasn't very loud during sex, he focused more on you and your pleasure. You, on the other hand, kept moaning: not only was he a good person, he was also very good in bed.

you continued to date and finally after the sixth outing, you officially got together: you couldn't ask for a better partner.

#bleach headcanons #bleach kyoraku #shunsui kyoraku #shunsui kyoraku x reader #bleach #shunsui bleach #shunsui x reader #shunsui x you #bleach shunsui #kyoraku shunsui x reader #shunsui x y/n #kyoraku shunsui

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theoneforwriting · 1 year

Text

I’m a cat! I’m a kitty cat!

AO3

Summary: The Midnight Burger crew wants to get a cat. Except Caspar. Cherry happens to work at an animal shelter and own a moped.

It had been a slow day so far. As slow as a day at a shelter full of rambunctious animals could be anyways. Cherry was given front desk duty, which was the opposite reason why they had chosen to get their volunteer hours at an animal shelter. They wanted to spend time walking the dogs and petting the rabbits. They did not want to be sitting at a desk shuffling around the same papers wishing they had brought their holo-pad with them.

“I am bored out of my mind,” they gestured to the desk’s holo-screen. “Also, I am literally not needed.” They complained to Terry who had just walked in. Terry was an alright guy, probably spent too much time at the shelter. But that would be hypocritical of Cherry considering they spend all their time at the shelter and are only a volunteer, while Terry got his salary from being there.

“Don’t be silly, people love to see a real face and not just a screen.”

“Uh huh.”

“Well if you’re going to have that attitude-”

“Terrance!” Someone else called out interrupting him. Terry gave a ”we’ll finish this later” look and disappeared into the back. The back, where literally anything enriching happens.

“Ugh.” Cherry slumped back into their seat, they couldn’t even see over the top of the stupid desk. It was like being trapped in a lame version of the Colosseum. No matter how high they put the ancient office chair, the desk obscured their vision. So when a voice came out of nowhere Cherry startled and fell, hitting their head on the chair on the way down.

“Are you okay?” What sounded like a concerned woman asked.

“Yep, never better.” They grunted. Cherry stood all the way up, their platform boots thankfully making it so their head was past the desk.

“How can I help you?” Cherry asked, people weren’t exactly their strong suit but they’d take anything to break the monotony right now.

“I am looking to adopt a cat!” She said gleefully.

“Uh yeah sure just scan your ID.” Cherry pointed towards the holo-screen at the front of the desk.

“Oh uh…” The women looked slightly panicked. Cherry raised an eyebrow.

“Yes an, um, my ID! Which I totally have!” She smiled with all teeth and no eyes before rummaging around in her tote bag.

“There it is!” She said, slapping it onto the desk counter.

“That’s a drivers license.” Cherry said while picking it up and looking at it.

“Which is an ID?”

“It says it expires in 2027.”

“So..?”

“Lady not to be rude but you do know it’s the year 3069, right?” Cherry asked, suddenly very much missing shuffling the same papers over and over again. There was an awkward silence.

“Oh, hello miss, how may we help you?” It was Terry coming back to finish their talk, but now his button up shirt looked like it went through a battle, dirt streaked all over with little paw prints.

“She wants to adopt a cat.”

“Oh how wonderful, how about you show her the kitties Cherry?”

“Ter-”

“What, I thought you were bored out of your mind?” He asked while fruitlessly wiping his shirt with a tissue from the desk.

“Fine.”

“Righty-o.” Terry said and started to walk away. “I hope someone will find their furr-ever home.”

“Boooooo!” Cherry yelled at him. The crazy lady, because of course she did, actually laughed at it.

“Follow me.” Cherry said emerging from behind the desk, hoping that she wasn’t about to be murdered.

While some cats were still in crates they did have a room where the ones that were allowed to mingle could do exactly that. It was a place for the cats to get entertainment (Unlike the front desk Cherry bemused) and interact. It also served as a place where patrons could come in and chill with the cats and see if they connected with one.

“Oh precious!” The woman exclaimed, her voice already rising several octaves. It was like this for a bit. The lady would ask about a cat and Cherry would answer, the routine let them let their guard down. Feeling less and less likely to end up in a casket. The presence of the cats also might have helped a bit with that. They were both sitting on the floor, a gray tabby named Hercules sprawled across Cherry’s legs. The lady sat crisscrossed with a ginger cat on her.

“So what’s your name?”

“That one is Pickles.”

“Ah no I meant,” the lady turned to face them. “I meant your name.”

“Cherry.”

“Ah I see I thought the guy said Larry and you just don’t give me Larry vibes.”

“Is it the hair?” Cherry joked pointing at their dreads that are dyed a bright red.

“Nah, it’s your eyes, they’re the window to the soul.”

“Cool.” Cherry said, petting Hercules.

“I’m Gloria by the way.” She said before cooing at a cat who made its way over to them. “Thanks, now I can call you something other than a crazy lady in my head.” Cherry said, making Gloria snort.

“I just wanted to say thanks for not calling me out back there.” Gloria said, leaning back against the wall and unfolding her legs.

“It’s hard to sneak out and get a cat especially when you're not born in this century.”

“Oh c’mon you’re not that old.” Cherry said.

“Hah, thanks.”

Cherry, deciding to ignore the century comment, asked “You had to sneak out?”

“Oh yeah, one of my friends, his name is Caspar, is determined not to get a cat, he says it’ll hate him.” Gloria chuckled.

“He’s a dog person then?”

“More like a pet rock person.” Cherry laughed so hard that it spooked the cats away. Except the ginger one who stayed curled up in Gloria’s lap.

After perusing the cats in cages Gloria started to look a little anxious.

“Hey, if you're worrying about making a choice we can put one on hold for you.” Cherry offered.

“That’s sweet of you but I am afraid I have to,” Gloria pulled out a pocket watch and squinted at it, “make a decision in four hours.”

“Um, okay.” Cherry said too bewildered by the pocket watch Gloria had pulled out to check on the time limit she apparently had.

“My friend though, uh Leif, he’s the one I told you helped me sneak out, he’s going to be here soon and he’ll help me choose.” True to Gloria’s word, five minutes of looking at rabbits later a guy wearing an apron showed up looking disheveled.

“Caspar is onto our bullshit so hard we have to act fast.”

“Well let me tell you who I’ve found!” Gloria said already tugging Leif away toward the cats before Cherry could even unlock the door for them. Cherry sort of hovered around the two once they started talking. It was like watching professional ping pong as they talked through Gloria’s line up of felines.

“But this guy?” Gloria said with a fondness in her voice that caught Cherry’s attention. She picked up a ginger cat who didn’t even bat an eye at being lifted into the air.

“Is Pickles, it says he used to be an outdoor cat so I think that would also help him handle the diner.”

“Diner?” Cherry asked at the same time Leif exclaimed “Seriously?!”

“Hey,” Gloria said offensively, pulling Pickles closer to her chest “we could change the name, no need to be so harsh on the gatito.”

“Gloria, that’s not a cat,” Leif looked at Cherry, “how did it even get in here?” Cherry startled a little, realizing Leif was asking them.

“We got him, like, last week, some lady dropped him off, said it was a gift because we gave her a map of the city, she was nice but weird.”

“Oh my God.” Gloria said.

“What are the fucking odds?” Leif asked.

“What’s happening?”

“Uh, nothing at all, it’s just a small world is all, I think we know her.” Leif hurriedly explained. While Cherry could tell it wasn’t a lie, they could also tell there was a lot more hiding behind those words.

“Should I be worried?”

“No!”

“Eh.”

Cherry looked over the two of them critically.

“…Okay then, I guess you’re getting the Not-a-cat cat?”

“Oh absolutely.”

“Definitely.”

Back at the desk Cherry was tip toeing in their boots to lean over the desk and point at what Gloria was supposed to click. Cherry didn’t blame her, the legal jargon also got to them too.

“I’ll need that ID again to scan.” Cherry said. The dread filled Gloria’s eyes again like the first time.

“I got ya covered.” Leif said and then loudly slammed an ID onto the desk. Cherry took it and sure enough it was a proper Saleieinsport City ID.

“Huh.” Both Cherry and Gloria said at the same time. The rest of the process went smoothly. Cherry being thankful they were finally eighteen so they didn’t have to get “a legal adult” to sign off on everything. Now that they actually thought about it…

“Hey, Gloria, you're my first adoption.”

“Awe, really?”

“Well, officially anyways, it just felt like something to say.” Cherry said leaning on the back of their heels.

“Of course you should say it, that’s awesome!” Gloria exclaimed.

“Yeah, congrats!” Leif agreed. Cherry could feel their cheeks blushing.

“Let’s go get your Not-a-cat cat already.” Cherry said, ducking their head down to hide their face.

Not-a-cat cat eagerly got into the travel crate when they set it down which made Cherry do a double take.

“Did you guys open the crate?”

“No?”

“No, I told you that thing is not normal.”

“Leif don’t call gatito a thing!”

“No, I’m sorry Gloria but I agree with Leif here.” Cherry said while pointing their thumb at him. Gloria huffed and picked up the carrier, which the door to was also somehow closed. The walk to the parking lot felt forlorn to Cherry.

“Well it was nice meeting you guys.”

“Same to you Cherry.” Gloria beamed. Not-a-cat cat meowed.

“Oh no, Gloria!”

“What is it, Leif?” They both turned to look at Leif who was glaring at the hover-bus schedule.

“It says the next bus doesn’t come for three hours!”

“Three hours?!” Gloria’s face sagged. “We don’t have that kind of time!”

“Do you guys want a ride?” Both heads whipped towards Cherry.

“You’d do that?” Leif asked.

“I mean sure, my time ends in five minutes anyways.” Cherry fiddled with the hem of their violet sweater, “and you guys have been pretty nice.”

“Alright then let’s hitchhike!” Gloria exclaimed.

“I think it’s carpooling.” Cherry chuckled.

“Nah, hitchhiking sounds cooler anyways,” she brought the carrier up to her face “Isn't that right Pickles?”

“Oh we’re definitely changing the name.” Leif said. Gloria scoffed.

“I think it’s cute!”

“Where's your ride?” Leif asked, rolling his eyes at Gloria.

“It’s that one.”

“Oh.”

Gloria hung onto Leif for dear life.

“Isn’t this illegal?!” Gloria yelled.

“What?!” Leif yelled back. Cherry couldn’t even hear Gloria from the back of the hover-moped.

“We don’t have helmets!” She tried to explain. But the wind and the hum of the magnets that made traffic airborne was louder than Gloria. That’s not even mentioning the honking that was happening as Cherry swerved around other cars.

The Not-a-cat’s carrier was secured safely in the side cart. Which left the three adults to have to squeeze onto a single seat.

Leif took the middle so he could guide Cherry to Midnight Burger. It was interesting trying to explain to Cherry why their Star Trek looking GPS wouldn’t work, but their urgency to get back before “closing” seemed to push aside any questions. At some point on the ride Gloria squeezed her eyes shut, so once they were safely parked in front of Midnight Burger she didn’t even realize it.

“We’re here!” Leif said, prying Gloria’s hands off of him. “That’s going to bruise.”

“Oh thank God!” A voice yelled from the door. “Do you know how hard it is to keep him distracted? I had to lock him inside the pantry! Get your asses in here!”

“We’re coming, just hold on!” Gloria exclaimed, tumbling off the bike. Leif grabbed Pickles and booked it towards the diner, the diner that Cherry was looking at in fascination.

“How long has this been here?” They asked Gloria.

“This morning.” She repsonded sheepishly.

“What-”

“Thank you for all the help Cherry.” Cherry was about to repsond when someone else interrupted.

“Gloria!” The woman from earlier yelled. Gloria turned and cupped her face.

“Geez hold on Ava!” She looked back at Cherry with a big smile, her smile lines visible. Not fake like the one had been back at the animal shelter.

“You’re a lifesaver.” She gave Cherry a bone crushing hug. Gloria let go and then started mad dashing for the diner, slamming against the door as she slid inside. Cherry simply stared, their chest feeling warm. When was the last time someone hugged them like that? They however didn’t get to ruminate on it for long. A loud warping sound started to fill the air. A bubbly fizz seeped into Cherry’s blood. The wind rustled. The negative space yawned like a cat. Then the diner was gone. Everything snapped back into place in less than a second. The sounds of the road magnets and a park nearby suddenly coming back into existence, they hadn’t even realized those sounds had left. Cherry dropped their helmet.

“What the fuck.”

#post season three episode two Maul of America #midnight burger gets a cat #slice of life #Leif commits identity fraud #outsider pov #cat <3 #midnight burger #fanfiction #oc to be the outsider pov #oc #midnight burger podcast #fluff and humor #fan fiction #ao3fic

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dyphylleias · 1 year

Text

My unconditional and fearful love for someone I met.

Where to begin?

You know the feeling of being rejected every time or relationships that could have worked but didn’t at the end?

I’m going to say that when I was younger I could fall in love with every guy who could treat me with human decency. More than just a piece of meat to toy around.

The most foolish version of me even fell for boys who gave me minimal attention. Sometimes was on purpose, other times was accidentally.

It’s been more than 3 years since I lost myself after trying so hard to make a relationship work and embarked on a self-discovery journey. Was it lonely? Yeah. What was the effect? Losing interest in people, not seeing anyone worthy for a relationship nor friend.

It felt like I was trapped in the deepest of the ocean. Trying to save my own lungs. My own life. My own soul.

I didn’t want to give up. No matter how many dangerous animals came to my life to eat me while my soul was slowly dying. No matter how many times the ocean was trying to drown me.

I did wanted to give up a lot of many times before that time but something, somewhere in this world is telling me that I deserve to be here. That I still didn’t enjoy what I’ve been longing for a long time. That I still need to find a place that I can call my home. That I still need to see myself fixed. To see how capable I am to repair my soul, my broken heart.

It was 3 years of being soulless surviving in this world. But most importantly, the war I had inside my mind.

Until I met him.

I couldn’t believe I met such a person that could make this heart, that was once made of gold and got destroyed leaving it with nothing but emptiness, soft again.

It felt like the heart I had once there started to shine again. To be alive. To have reasons to have palpitations.

“Oh, God. Is this another game of yours?”

I have never in my life dedicated so much time, attention and love to someone like him. Not even to my own friends. To my own family…

Is this me being a fool again? Is this me having an hyperfixation on someone? Is this me being delusional?

Whatever it is, I am enjoying it.

He is very different from all the guys I’ve met before and if I could tell you about those other guys you would agree with me.

It’s been almost 6 months meeting him. I tried my hardest to gain his trust, to gain a place in his heart, to support him, to adore him, to give him the best advices I could’ve ever given to someone because that’s how much I care about him and I feel like I’m doing right. He is slowly opening up to me and I like it.

Am I really being a fool?

This is the most healthy crush I ever had. And believe me when I say that because the things I’ve done for him was with patience unlike the other ones in the past. I really do tried my best to not go back in a position where the end was breaking my own heart.

Am I delusional?

Something tells me that he is the one but I don’t know what “the one” means. Every time I go into my head and analyse my emotions and the situation it just fills it with lots of joy, smiling and giggling.

But I know it will take time… The feeling of just confessing my love for him has been strong recently.

I don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t want to end like I was before.

“Please, God. I’m begging you. I don’t want to suffer anymore.”

Many signs was sent for me as well I sent him my own signs. Will it be worth at the end?

I’m so afraid to lose someone that I can see myself with in the future.

I’m so afraid to lose someone that I’ve worked so hard to build a well relationship with.

I’m so afraid to lose someone I made my most special talks and moments with. Even if it was just a normal conversation.

I’m so afraid to lose someone who made my heart be alive again.

I’m so afraid to lose someone who is now a person I consider important in my life.

I’m so afraid of losing him.

“And now… I pray to the billion of stars in the sky and the moon to make me the happiest person now because I met him when I was finally healing. I’m healed. I already know my worth. Please, Universe, let me have him for the rest of my life.

Selfish, I know, but even if it’s against us. I will try my hardest to fulfill my own wish until I sacrifice myself for the sake of the both of us.”

#gay love #i love you #lovecore #letters #love #mentalwellness #mentalheathawareness #don't be afraid #ventcore #venting #saturn in 7th house

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moonlybxbe · 2 years

Text

A Poem that Saved Me

The blue sky looked oddly comforting today. The white fluffy clouds making me want to take a deeper dive into them. “Come on Misa hurry up!!”, my mom’s loud authoritative voice popped my bubble as I shuffled out my door, fixing my dress and hair. I saw her cold eyes pinning me to my place “Didn’t I ask you to be ready when I come back?! How can you always make me wait! NOW COME ON!!”, she yells at me and all I do is mutter a ‘coming’ following her out.

We were currently heading to a house-warming party. I don’t know when I myself will have a house warming party of my own, a house that I actually feel warm in. The short car ride is undisturbed, just heaviness clouds the air in the car. ‘I can finally breathe here’ I say to myself as I climb down the car and see people in the front yard chatting and laughing. The trees a bright green and the sky an ocean blue. I smile at the atmosphere, the calmness and happiness it resonated.

My mother was already inside the gates, walking towards my father who had came to the party straight from his office. I smile sadly at the thought of my mom not even looking back at me, to see if I was coming or not. Well, I guess that’s how my life is.

I ran to catch up with her, smiling at the known faces. Greeting the people with my parents while looking for the host of the party. “Oh hello!” my father called out to a tall man with brown hair, who turned around to smile at him.

Did my heart just stop!? How is that, that a smile like his can make my heart stop? His eyes smiled with sparkles, his dimples shining under the soft sunlight. It was as if my whole body calmed down just at the look of him. As I am studying him, his chocolate eyes find mine and I smile at him, greeting him. He smiled at me extending his hand “you must be Misa, nice to meet you, I am Namjoon” His voice didn’t help my current state, his voice was like a siren’s song to my ears. It had entranced me completely. A voice deep and calm, no one had ever spoken to me the way he spoke to me. I shook his hand and wanted to never let go. That feeling was foreign to me, but I was happy to feel that way. I gave him a sweet smile “Yes I am Misa, nice to meet you too”.

All throughout the party, I laughed with the guests, talked to so many people, ate the delicious food, roamed around a bit. I felt free there unlike my home, where I was my parents’ puppet. I would be their punching bag, on whom they would let their frustration out. Basically, someone whose feelings didn’t really matter to them.

Soon enough it was time to leave and I didn’t want to but here I was sitting in the dull car again. “You should study hard to be like him, he’s not even that much older than you but he can afford his own life.” “Your mother’s right, we are investing so much in you and you can’t even do the bare minimum Misa, I am highly disappointed”, my father chimed in and I just zoned out not wanting to hear a single word. They don’t even care how much their words hurt me. I am trying my level best and they still want more from me. How much do I have to burn myself for them to finally feel the warmth?

Going home and locking myself in the room didn’t help, I always felt jumpy that they would come to my room and find my door locked and scream at me. I didn’t feel like doing anything but I was scared that my parents might scold me for being lazy. I was tired of living in this controlled space, I was tired of being told what to do, tired of being told how to be, tired of being told how to live, my life.

All these built-up frustration and anger made me burst into tears and I ran out my room and out my house with my mom screaming to where I was going but I didn’t pay any heed as I ran as fast as I could. I was able to find a park bench with no one in sight, I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. Showing my tears was showing my rawest most vulnerable part which I trusted no one with.

My tears didn’t stop when I sat down. It grew worse, my eyes clouded with all the pain that flowed out. My whole body hurt. How could I be in a place like that? I thought home was supposed to be a place that gave the warmest hugs, the place where I could turn to when I was at my lowest but why wasn’t my home like that. Why did it hurt so bad? I could get no answer. I felt my shoulders sunk down covering my face with my hands, trying to put all the pain back inside, trying to pull myself together. “Misa?”, I wiped my eyes to see the same pair of warm chocolate eyes that I saw in the morning, but once they met my gaze, they seemed to lose its charm, it grew sad and I wondered why.

I immediately turned my back to him, remembering my pathetic state. “What happened? Why are you here all alone Misa?” his concerned voice spoke out. “Nothing”, I groggily replied as I got up to leave, his hand shot out grabbing mine, “don’t leave, its okay, you can sit here” I looked down at his soft hold on my hand. I looked up at him and all I could read from his face was pain “I am sorry you had to see me like this, I didn’t mean for anyone to find me in this state, I only wanted some alone time”, I explained myself sitting down. Surprisingly he sat down next to me, “you didn’t do anything wrong and you have nothing to apologize for, its fine”. I looked down at my hands, wishing he would hold them again like he did. “But can you leave?” don’t leave “I want to be alone” I don’t want to be alone. The contradicting thoughts made a few stray tears plop down on my tightly fisted hands.

His large hands covered my fisted ones, wiping away the fallen tears “you have been alone for too long Misa, I can’t leave you knowing that” his voice like a warm blanket over my sunken shoulders “I don’t want to leave you like this, I know you are hurt Misa” I looked at him with fresh tears forming in my eyes “I am right here, let it out Misa, I promise I won’t leave” I looked at his hands still holding mine waiting for him to let go, waiting for him to go but he didn’t.

I didn’t know that I needed a person beside me, a person who would hold my hand and tell me its okay, a person who wouldn’t leave. I saw two drops falling on his hand and I realised I was crying again. His hands left mine.

He left too. I knew no one would stay, I knew I couldn’t trust anyone- My thoughts were cut off when two arms wrapped itself around my weak shaking body, one of those arms run up and down my back “I won’t leave Misa, I won’t” that one sentence was enough for me to break down and all my feelings came flooding out, my cries coming out muffled being so close to him. His presence and hold on me bought out the weakest form of me, “it hurts, it hurts, it hurts a lot, its hurting everywhere” I say hiccupping and shaking “shh, it okay, I am right here till it stops hurting I promise, I am here okay”, his deep voice felt so close to me, even closer than this hold on me. I was holding onto him like I would die if I let go.

For the first time in my life had I ever cried in front of anyone. I thought I would feel ashamed if I let anyone see me cry but with him, I didn’t care. His eyes, his smile, his whole presence comforted me like no other. He was the comfort I never knew I needed. The way he held me made me realize that He was a poem written by the earth to keep me alive.

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