#i fucking love angron

[angronsjewelbeetle]

I love your work so much!!!! May I pretty please have like... the primarchs (as many as you're cool with writing, but pretty please include Angron) on vacation with their beloved? Totally cool if not, and I'm sorry if requests are closed!!

You can send me as many requests as you like, anon! I nearly cried when I first read this, I won't lie. You're my second req ever and this was such a sweet one!!

I've only written three primarchs for this because honestly I didn't know where it was gonna go, but I may revisit it and write more

Primarchs on vacay ~♡

Includes: Angron of course, Guilliman, Dorn

Angron: beaches...generally aren't the best idea for the Nails because sand irritates them, but here? Here, it's got cliffs, several caves and yeah, he supposes the view is quite nice with its turquoise waters crashing steadily against the rocks below. He stays up mostly on the cliffs, but you convince him to come and stand in the water with you eventually. He gets up to his thighs before he stops, waves gently swaying around him as he watches you back closer to the shore, something warm curling in his chest as you smile at him.

Guilliman: Roboute looks like he's at peace for once, reclined against the beds that you'd pushed together, it's not actually the most comfortable for him - still too small, but you'd never guess it with the way he snorts in his sleep and mumbles something about a bull. You smile when you nudge him awake eventually - nudging meaning sitting on him because that man is out to the world - and he returns the look, sleepily content as could be. He concedes to go with you down to the ocean baths, where he sits in the deepest part, the water barely covering his lap as he sits against the wall, waves crashing against his back.

Rogal Dorn: He's peering through the masses of pebbles, occasionally picking up one or two and inspecting it before dropping it back amongst the rest. You watch him from your towel, the sun just beginning to set against the horizon. He's been doing it all day, when he wasn't in the water with you, or hoisting you into the air so you could get a better look at the small cave high in the sandstone cliff behind you, he was looking. You smile, looking back to the horizon as the skies turn brightly coloured, admiring the glitter of the water. He appears beside you a few minutes later, something in his hand. He wordlessly offers it to you. A smooth, brown pebble and a piece of rounded sea glass. You smile and joke about how he found treasure, his lips curl just barely and he points to the cloudy glass, "it matches your eyes," he says. Indeed it does, and the pebble - it matches his.

Just a real quick note here, Angron's is based off somewhere I went IRL, and I just-

Yeah?? Yeah.

[heuldoch7b]

[moodymisty]

I sincerely apologize on behalf of all Mortarion simps (it’s literally just me, I have never met another human being that loves that infected rat man.) Hes just so blorbo silly. Not only can I fix him, I can make him better. I love my festering husband <333 (i am mentally unwell(I’m not, I just like subby men))

We can't choose who we love, friend.

I'll be in the pews at your wedding, just in the back row so the stank doesn't hit me as bad.

[angronsjewelbeetle]

aaaaAAAAAAAAA THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

This one's for the men in my audience. (It might end up being gn in the end, but I have a male reader in mind at the moment!) (Update: It's gn!) I have Angron on the mind, thank @angronsjewelbeetle and @kit-williams for that! Post nails AU.

Summary: You and Angron spend the first night together after the Nails are removed.

Content Warnings: Slight implication of sex,

Image Credit: @squishyowl

The bed was just large enough to fit him, which meant that it was far too large for you. You weren't complaining. It was largely for Angron, who was maybe twice your size. He was sitting at the side of the bed, clad in only a pair of cloth pants, looking down at you. The bandages were still wrapped around his head, obscuring rough scars from recent events. He regarded you with a soft expression, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Why don't you lay down?" you asked, scooting over in the bed.

He grunted, and shifted over onto the bed. The bed was mostly for you despite its size, but sometimes he would crawl in and cuddle with you, if you didn't go further. In the past, the metal made it so that your cuddle sessions wouldn't be long, and even then you felt bad about the grinding pain in his head. But maybe it would be different now.

He lay next to you, facing you. Your faces were inches apart. His garnet-red eyes were half closed, full of wonder and love. He slid a hand over your side, touching you as if he were touching you for the first time. He may as well have been.

"How are you feeling?" you asked, your voice low and gentle.

"I..." he started, looking away for a second to gather his words. "It doesn't hurt."

You chuckled a little bit, your hands trailing to the sides of his face. They were almost laughably small against him. You ran your fingers along his scars, rough in your hands. He recoiled before steadying himself. His eyes widened and his mouth hung agape a little bit. You could feel him tense up in your hands.

"Don't worry," you said softly. "The Nails are gone. You're safe now."

He uttered your name, careful with it. You tensed up as you heard it, your hands freezing in place.

"Oh, uh... is this okay, darling?" you asked. You felt blood rush to your face.

In the dim light, you saw his eyes glisten. You felt him relax. "It feels nice," he rumbled, his hand light against you. He leaned into your touch, slightly nuzzling your hand. He looked at you with reverence, focusing on your lips.

You chuckled, your lips spreading into a wide smile. You relaxed against him before you pressed a light kiss to his forehead. The bandages tickled your nose where they slightly distended from his skin. He sniffed. His hand left your waist to grab a tissue before he turned over and cast it in the bin.

You knew what to do. "Oh, oh!" you exclaimed. "Keep facing that way. Please," you said.

"Why?" Angron asked, his voice slightly muffled.

You wrapped your arms and legs around him, burying your head into the nape of his neck. His skin was rough against yours, bearing the scars of his share of battles fought. You brushed your lips against him, and he shivered against you. You ran your hand along his chest. He said your name again, his voice rumbling gently.

"Angron..." you replied, your voice muffled against his back. You pressed a kiss to his shoulder, and he shuddered. Your eyelids drooped, and your breathing was slow and warm against the back of his neck. You began to drift out of consciousness, but not before you heard the familiar soft snore of the man that you loved. You smiled as you begin to fade away. It was going to be a long road to recovery, but you were ready to face it with him.

[kitsune-pop]

I love how much of warhammer 40k is clearly a bunch of white dudes sitting around, thinking up the worst shit imaginable and going "thank god that could never happen to me, the cishet white guy"

angron is a one for one depiction of slavery, yet is painted as the bad guy for wanting to stand against oppression

mortarion is disabled and constantly has his decisions taken away from him by able bodied people only to be seen as moody and uncooperative

magnus is gay or trans or both. literally a guy blamed for something he was born with that he cannot control and told you're bad if you explore this part of yourself. also you're illegal now

fulgrim was actively encouraged to pursue perfection, despite never being good enough for others. he pushed any personal pleasure aside for an uncaring crusade and then is demonized for saying "fuck it, I'll have fun"

lorgar. also known as "this is why you don't abuse your kids"

horus is the golden child who's sent out into the world by himself only to find out Gee, Maybe I'm Not Ready because good ol dad did everything for him then told him "figure it out lol"

alpharius omegon are the autistic kids who don't understand why pops is doing this, maybe we should do things a little different than "blood soaked crusade"

perturabo is the burnout middle kid who did everything to impress his father only to be told "that's what's expected of you" who then got mad since acting out was the only way he got attention

konrad curze has a mental disorder. and is abused because of it

all of these characters were so close to being some of the best representation for minorities we could get in media only for gw to eat shit right at the finish line because they can't commit to an actual story. and it's amazing just how little these writers understand that the things they depict are all real things that people suffer through every day, and are demonized for every single day, especially when we are told these characters are irredeemable and should be destroyed, no questions asked

[horuslupercal]

ranking the primarchs as boyfriends

Lion: honestly I can't see him dating cause he doesn't like women and Caliban homophobia but let's pretend. he is better than you. you both know this. makes no particular effort to pay attention to you. bad at social cues. will take care of you, kind of. will tell his astartes to guard you in a dangerous situation at least. uncommunicative. 2/10 loveless political marriage

Fulgrim: canonically emotionally tapped out. okay boyfriend in public, does not really interact much in private. RSD.Primarch. decent amount of gifts. might actually catch feelings for you and then pull away even more. 1/10 are you really dating

Perturabo: also RSD.Primarch. it's difficult to make him happy and very easy to upset him. you will end up on life support when he kills you in a fit of rage and then panics about it. if you tell him you like his artsy endeavours he WILL shower you in them so there's that. you cannot fix him. 3/10 more unstable ground than eggshells

Khan: knows what he's about (sexual). writes very pretty letters but this does not quite make up for him being gone all the time. more interested in his friends. emotionally mature primarch. pretty good at interacting with mortals like he respects them. not a guy who's good at (or likes) commitment/being "tied down". 5/10 you should just be fwbs

Leman: well groomed. likes to feed you good food. more interested in his friends than you. braggart. surprisingly good at remembering important things and dates. 6/10 a thoughtful frat boy

Dorn: primarch most likely to indulge in a "shut up" ring. has emotions about you and literally tortures himself about it. claims he's controlled or whatever but he is an emotional time bomb. won't engage in relationship conversations. knows he's better than you. 3/10 dime a dozen in a philosophy class

Konrad: well fuck if he doesn't love you. believes in thought crime and possesses some moral OCD qualities. will trail bits of guts home. might accidentally kill you during a vision. he really does love you. swinging between obsession and apathy very quickly. 2/10 you knew what you were getting into

Sanguinius: afraid of you? (or of hurting you). half the time he has no energy for anything he gets off work (campaign) and lays down on the couch and doesn't answer his texts. impulsive. kind of incapable of turning "off". sad. tries to be sweet. 4/10 is he really interested in you?

Ferrus: throws tantrums. knows he's better than you and his legion knows it too. jokes about your weakness with a little too much regularity for it to feel like a joke. won't fix this if you express being upset about it. 1/10 /fit/ (4chan) regular

Angron: will kill you in his sleep. will cry about it. doesn't really think of himself as a complete person anymore and makes it the problem of everyone around him. doesn't want to date you and ruin you. won't even tell you his newest scheme for glorious combat based suicide. 1/10 he's not in a good place

Roboute: arrogant. busy. "I was a TA for a logic class-". says he's willing to communicate but leaves halfway through because something happened and doesn't pick it back up. will bring you to beautiful cliffside locales and spin you like a movie. 5/10 you are a side project

Mortarion: unwashed. kissing him will poison you. doesn't come to bed on time. appreciates you from a distance but does not pay much attention to you. would be very upset if something happened to you. his legion definitely thinks you're stupid. 1/10 he doesn't you he needs SSRIs

Magnus: knows better than you. horror movie protag's boyfriend who says it's just a joke as he reads the ancient texts from the creepy book. flaunts you around, he's very proud of you. either constantly asking what you want or completely dead to the world distracted in some project. 5/10 he will get you killed

Horus: lovebombing: the primarch. knows what he's about (sexual). more than a little self absorbed. occasionally loses his temper and then is very good about explaining it away until you feel bad. you are spoiled to hell. 4/10 emotionally abusive boyfriend with a magic aura

Lorgar: you are his world. his light. his life. he knows best and you should just do what he says. you will no longer be human but something higher (socially) (literally). gets so invested he lets other things fall to the wayside and it's kind of disastrous. 5/10 at least you're god

Vulkan: trying his best to actually respect you. occasionally fails. means to spend time with you and then gets wrapped up in duties and projects. cuddlemaster. cute relationship gestures. 7/10 your best option

Corvus: won't communicate. ghosts away when things get awkward. really random, overly intense opinions and he will slay you on those hills. busy. hypocrite. 1/10 teenager

Alpharius Omegon: either they're both in on this so they can use you or only one of them is in on this and the other one is plotting your death because this wasn't the plan. 1/10 actively dangerous

[incorrect-primarchs-quotes]

Guilliman, happily: These are our brothers.

Corvus: Hi.

The three brothers: Hey.

Guilliman: Oh, you will love Vulkan.

Corvus: Oh, we could train together.

Guilliman: Of course. Let's go.

*They walk out of the living room*

Angron: No fucking way that's Guilliman.

Lorgar: *Shrugs* Maybe Corvus actually made him human.

Konrad: I have to agree with Angron, he referred to us as 'brothers' and not 'Father's three disappointments'.

[toto-the-cactus]

I started to write this very innocently and planned to make it NSFW but I did the mistake of watching the episode 7 of Dandadan and now instead of horny I want yall to be sad. Ovulation manifest in a very fucked up way for me and I will not suffer alone. Teehee.

Credits where they are due. This ask from @moodymisty is the reason that inspired this... I dunno, AU?? But kudos for them. This idea was really good so I just decided to expand it.

If this get that much attention I'll may think in doing a part 2 where you go and take Angron's ass back without the nails this time, ajua!

Summary: As a perpetual, you have been by the Emperor's side for most of your immortality. There's no name for what strange dynamic you both share, but you do trust him and your loyalty eventually pays off over millennia once he fulfills an old promise he made during your first ever encounter.

Pairing: Emperor of Mankind x Perpetual!Reader (Female)

CW: Slight NSFW

The Mother

“I know you’re still angry”

You hated how He phrased that. He knew very well that you were furious at him more than anything and yet the Emperor voiced it as if you weren’t mourning the loss of the children that you were supposed to call yours.

Erda had warned you plenty of times, looking between a mix of sadness and resignation as she knew very well how much of a tangled mess were yours and the Emperor’s relationship over millennia. Even as a perpetual, you never could come close to understand why He acted the way he did, but his reassurances and sweet-nothings made you easily into crumbling sand between His fingers. So much that when he finally answered your plea for a family, the joy of it had overrode your common sense.

Your genetic composition, while still powerful, never seemed to take and each attempt for a baby to grow inside the gestation capsules ended in failure and that eventually made you grow distant and despondent towards the Emperor, who, for once, seemed to understand your gloomy emotions and gave you some space until a solution could be found.

And it did… in the form of your best friend Erda. She had been ready to reject the proposal of giving her genetic stock, but her own loyalty to the Emperor and her love for you was enough to convince her with still some reluctance along the way.

You hadn’t even cared if these children carried your own blood or not. This was the one thing you had found yourself craving for so long and it was becoming reality.

The Emperor had made it very clear that these creations had been made too to serve as aids for the Crusade, not simply to satisfy the promise he had made to you all those centuries ago.

At first you didn’t heed his warning, too enthralled at the overwhelming emotions of seeing these tiny babies take form.

Your children.

A part of you had been too arrogant, too naive to believe that you could convince the Emperor of Mankind to drop this plan of his to raise kids as pawns of warfare. You had wanted to thrust that a part of Him still would hold the same tenderness that he had always reserved for you like the very first time. So you kept talking to the gestating children, whispering words of love and adoration. You sang them lullabies of long forgotten times and teared up when some would instantly react at the soft tones of your voice.

You have even dreamed with the little one that had shown immense psyker power.

So it broke you beyond repair when Erda came back to you in distraught, explaining what she had done with the developing Primarchs once the Emperor had been still adamant and unmoving to his plans.

The fate of your sons had been decided and your friend had been desperate to try and stop it.

Now you lost everything, all your happiness had been taken away and as much as you wished to blame Erda too, you only held her shoulders in a tight bruising grip (she looked at you surprised, unaware that you possessed such strength) and stared at her dead in the eyes with a voice that commanded nothing but attention.

“I’m willing to forgive you, Erda… I am… but you must earn it” you said with a clear tremble in your voice, a painful knot stuck in your throat at the impotence of the whole situation. “Please, please… go find them! Find them so I can retrieve them and hold them at least for the first time!”

So she did, in the silence of the night and away from any prying eyes.

Once alone in the privacy of your room, you cried until the pain bled into painful sobs of despair.

It was in the aftermath of your spilling emotions when the Emperor came to you in a mockery of comfort, his huge hand encased in his golden armor caressing with immense care your body. It was a shame that he had some truth to his words, for your anger simply made you feel like his attempt of compassion was cold and mechanical in nature.

A detailed script where the husband consoles the wife that He must follow. But as fast as the burning anger came, it easily simmered down by the constant sorrow. You felt hollow and as much as you wished to keep ignoring him… you needed the little love he still professed for you in rare moments.

“No, my love… I just feel empty now” your voice conveyed it, for it lacked anything beyond the trembling of a sob.

“Then let me help you” the Emperor expressed with an unchanging expression, but the way he whispered those words felt like the sweetest caress.

You breathed deeply, a few stubborn tears still escaping because how dare he speak to you like you were the only thing that he cared for. You had grown accustomed to this weird and shifting dynamic you both had and yet he did things like this that disrupted the routine and reminded you why you fell for him a long time ago.

You had seen him as a man, nothing more… and he had thanked you for that.

This time you had to choke a sob down before speaking.

“How?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he got up and took his golden armor piece by piece.

It took a while but you were a patient woman with little to no motivation to move at the current moment. This was your room, the single place where no one was allowed to bother you two and so could take any sweet time.

Once finished, his warm hand held your head carefully and left your neck exposed to be kissed and licked at his whim. You were ready to try and tell him to hold on (you would never dream of being strong enough to push him off of you), but the bite on your shoulder forced a breathy moan out of your lips, wilting your weak attempt at stopping.

You still felt the sting of pain at the loss of the children and these actions only fuelled the new emotion of guilt brewing inside you.

Why was he doing this to you? How would this help your broken heart?

“Let me make it up to you… by giving you a child in the only way we haven’t tried” his voice reverberated within your ribcage with the undertone of a growl that accompanied his words, catching you immensely by surprise with such insane proposal that you didn’t even realize when he took your undergarments out until a soft grace to your clit grounded you back to reality.

“Ah~!” you moaned this time louder, completely caught off guard by a sensitivity that you don’t remember ever having.

The onslaught of sensations dazed you, the tears flowing steadily now that you weren’t sure of what to feel in that moment.

This was a distraction, a way to appease you and sooth the sorrow… and you hated that it was working little by little. His words truly echoing inside your mind with the strange mix of guilt and excitement clashing within your body without mercy.

Yes, you wished for a child to hold. To love and care.

His enormous finger breached your entrance, the wetness having been built easily enough as his thumb hadn't stopped on his ministrations to your swollen button. His lips rarely leaving your skin without a kiss or a bite to lick, descending and going down, down.

Then… you saw it. Behind the shiny droplets of tears through your eyelids, a vision of a future that greeted you with a promise.

The children… they were alive.

You sensed the very longing of your heart, the feeling of rough scars being caressed by your gentle touch as an apology for not finding them fast enough.

You saw yourself holding a heavy blanket, a peaceful infant between your arms and a whisper of a name that seared in your memory.

‘Horus’

In this thesis I present today, I'll explain how all the goddamn heresy could have been prevented had the Emperor not sucked ass at speaking with the tactfulness of sandpaper over an open wound.

Anyway, hope yall liked it <333

[wolf-tail]

Since I'm far more comfortable being weird on 40k tumblr than I used to be, I'm gonna say some unhinged things.

Now that you've all been thoroughly warned, I'm thinking about which Primarchs would be the best or worst to deal with if they got pregnant:

Lion-You do not know he is pregnant. He would preffer it that way. He seems crankier, meaner, more reclusive, amd just a bit rounder, but you don't know about it until he winces and slinks off during a meeting, then returns a few hours later with babby in tow. No one is allowed to touch or even look at babby for at least a week.

Guilliman-He's doing pretty ok, but very anxious. Lots of body aches, but you have a hell of a time trying to convince him to ease off the work and rest. You often find him fast asleep on top of his desk. Constantly craving olives. Overall not too bad.

Horus-VERY proud papa-to-be. Constantly showing off his big ol belly and bragging about how knocked up he is. He has a canonical breeding kink, he's wearing every embarrassing maternity t-shirt he can find. Mortifying ordeal, but could be way worse.

Konrad-OH GOD, whoever impregnated this man, answer for your fucking crimes. Anyone who so much as breathes too loud in his vicinity is a skinless splatter on the pavement. Mercifully, he doesn't seem to want to leave his room. Just avoid him as much as possible and you might survive.

Sanguinius-Glowing, positively GLOWING! He's vibrant, elegant, happy, the type of thing people tell you being pregnant is like to try and convince you to have kids. Happy to let anyone rub his tummy. (Would he even give live birth or just lay an egg?) He's eepy, so very sleeby eepy. He just wants to nap. That just serves to make it cuter. The only issue is that in the later weeks he starts going broody. That will not be a fun time.

Fulgrim- Also an idealistic glowing beauty, but probably is a struggling a lot more than he lets on. You just know he's nauseous as hell and his feet hurt like a bitch. Give him a foot rub , he deserves it. Has a bunch of super long baby names picked out, Definitely rearranged the nursery seventeen times at least because it's "not good enough". And the second fact that thing comes out the womb it's dripped tf out. Little fuck is leaving the hospital in a Dior onesie. Fulgrim insists on doing his makeup before leaving the maternity ward, because he refuses to look as worn out as he is. Let this poor man REST.

Ferrus-Oof. I don't know much about him, but he strikes me as the type to have body image issues. Baby has a normal ass name like "John" or smth. When it's born he's scared to hold it with his metal hands, but bub doesn't care, falls right asleep in them.

Perturabo-ABORTION. He has no time for kids. But in the chance he does keep it, he's even more cranky and insufferable than ever. Yells at his own belly bc MiniPerty is kicking him while he's trying to work. Sending u prayers🙏

Dorn-Hmmm, idkkkk. I have not read enough about him. Dorn fans answer this one for me. But from what I do know he'd have a hard time describing as his complicated emotions about it. Would swaddle the Dornling in his grandpa's blanket.

Angron-OH FUCCKKKKKKK. You thought Konrad was bad!? The sad part is, all of the parts of him that want and love the baby are being punished for it by the nails. But can you fucking imagine a pregnant hormonal Angron!? The galaxy shakes in fear. The second sperm met egg, Khorne shifted uncomforably upon the Skull Throne.

Magnus-He's having a great time! Studying every parenting book he can find (TAKE NOTES EMPS!), getting cool belly tattoos, doing mysterious pregnancy rituals, psychically communicating with MiniMagnus once they're developed enough. Has a BIG belly, sometimes hard to maneuver. Probably twins. Sons always happy to give it a lil rub when he walks last. Often found lounging in his tower, lazily talking to bubby while reading, go ahead and give him a back massage.

Mortarion- As much as I think he'd look cute with a baby, I don't think he was ever at any point in his life healthy enough to carry one to term. Isha, fix his uterus, he needs to be a daddy immediately. If he was miraculously to get preggers, he'd definitely be cranky, but not overwhelmingly so. He'd love the kid, but occasionally pat his tummy and gently admonish it for being such a little nuisance.

Corax- Drawing a total blank here. Raven guardies tell me plz. But he might go broody too, goes with the bird theming.

The Khan- Continues riding his bike until he's physically too big to do so. You can't even try to stop him. Little Jag is travelling at Mach Fuck You every day. Labor is 5 seconds long, and as soon as the kid's delivered he's strapping it to his chest and getting right back in the saddle.

Vulkan-Biggest cuddlebug EVER!!! Joyous and glowing, always up for a belly rub. You just know his ass is 8 months pregnant and still in the forge, working on little practice weapons for his lil Salamander. His water will probaby break and he'll beg you to let him quench a sword in his own amniotic fluid (don't, that's gross) Prone to hot flashes, get him a nice cold drink plz.

Lorgar-A baby is joyous blessing! He's insanely happy about it, going on about how his body was "chosen to bring forth a wondrous being". Touching the tum is a religious experience. Gets a new tattoo to celebrate, if he can find the room.

Alpharius/Omegon: You either have no idea which one's pregnant, or they all somehow get pregnant at once. Twins are a guarantee either way.

[angronsjewelbeetle]

Fuck it I'm tired I'm half delusional and I can regret it in the morning. Oh well.

Primarchs and their favourite places to kiss ~♡

This may (is likely to) be out of character, many apologies.

Lion: Back of your hand. It's a classic, it's sweet, and he's not all that much of a physically affectionate bloke at the start.

Fulgrim: Tip of your nose and then rests his forehead against yours. He says it's "so you can gaze into his beautiful eyes and admire them", but it's actually because his eyes are windows to his thoughts and having you see his love for you is far easier than saying it out loud.

Perturabo: Your temple. He can still focus on his work while you demand affection from him (you're not demanding, he kissed you totally unprompted as you were walking past. He's just a bitch about it)

Khan: Your jawline. He kisses all over it and then may bite your ear to tease you. Not always, because he does treasure genuine affection, but when he's in a mischievous mood...well, >:)

Russ: Your neck. Specifically your nape and pulse point, he kisses your nape as an everyday sort of thing, almost even a greeting, while your pulse point is a little more...personal. Most go for the neck when they aim to kill something, after all, and he just wants you to know that he's protecting you, rather than a threat.

Dorn: Your cheek. It's soft, it's meaningful and it's as close to your lips as he can get without actually kissing you on them. He's a bit self-concious of the fact that his mouth is like three times the size of yours and he doesn't particularly like sloppy kisses unless yknow. He's.. distracted 😏.

Konrad: Your jugular. He's pressing his teeth to it more than his lips - it's not necessarily a threat, he's just not a very good kisser. But sometimes it's soft, softer than the down from Sanguinius's wings, on a rare day where he remembers that he CAN be gentle.

Sanguinius: Your inner left wrist. Another pulse point kisser but like...extra romantic. He likes to feel your heartbeat against his face to truly remind him that you are here with him. It keeps him in the moment rather than his mind spiralling into the future.

Ferrus: Your hands. He kisses each of your knuckles and then the back of your hand. If you catch him on a very rare day, he'll pepper his kisses all the way up to your shoulder and then your cheek, Gomez Addams style.

Angron: Your shoulders. Specifically the backs of them, he feels the need to be as far from your face when he kisses you because he doesn't trust himself not to rip your face off with his teeth. If you want him to kiss your face, you'll have to initiate it.

Guilliman: Your forehead/hair. He likes to kiss here because it means you can sit on his lap while he works and he can give you affection while doing it. Multitasking 👍. Every time he leans down to check one of his documents, he kisses you.

Mortarion: Your eyelids. He kisses both of them and then your forehead. He doesn't really like physical contact and isn't used to it, and it's sort of like he's appreciating that you see him, you're aware of what he looks like and that you still manage to show him affection.

Magnus: Your forehead. Smack dab in the middle of it, near the crown of your hair. When he kisses it, it sort of feels like he's kissing something inside of you. HE IS. He's kissing your third eye. The sneaky psychic bitch is kissing your third eye.

Horus: Your lips. He's a good kisser and it's easy to wipe your mind of your worries when he's distracted you.

Lorgar: Your hands. He gives the most devoted kisses to your hands it almost makes your lips jealous. The complete and utter reverence he holds for you is obvious with the way he drops to his knees to press a featherlight kiss to your fingertips and then the palm of your hand.

Vulkan: Your palms. He likes to kiss your palms, specifically your Heart Line (palm reader vulkan anyone??) on your left hand, and sometimes he'll tell you something silly and sweet like "mm, says here you'll have three kids and a mansion on the beach" while tracing your Life Line with his pinkie with the biggest grin on his face.

Corvus: On your cheek directly under your eyes. Yes, his nose does poke you in the eye sometimes but you'll have to deal because Corvus Corax Nuzzles Your Cheek Before He Kisses It. Corvus noses at your cheeks like a bird preening and then kisses you.

Alpharius: Everywhere. It depends on the day, really, sometimes it's your cheek, other times your ear, and occasionally your lips. It's a sweet surprise every time!

[moociaoafterdark]

... I did not expect my shitpost to actually be canon 💀

I am, however, not surprised at all that it's Konrad. Of course it's him.

"damn bitch, you live like this?" meme, except it's the primarchs reacting to Konrad's or Mortarion's rooms. Or just meeting Konrad and Mortarion for the first time. Take your pick.

[thevoidscreams]

For Mating March: what would you think each Primarch specific kink would be?

Gonna stick to one or two kinks each for this also I'm going based on vibes:

Lion: He will often take you where ever you are at the time, even if it's a risky place to do it.He doesn't get off on the idea of potentially being caught. He gets off on getting away with it. Fulgrim: He enjoys painting you and making an absolute mess out of the paint he put on you, by fucking you and then making a print by pressing you to a canvas. He has a collection of these.

Perturabo: He enjoys bondage but with really complicated devices. He also gets off on being praised and feeling valued, during the deed. Jaghatai Khan: What's to do you on his bike while riding. Also he doesn't pull out. You're getting the cream pie.

Leman Russ: Predator/Prey dynamics, he's giving you a ten minute head start to book it into the woods. Better make those ten minutes count cause when he catches you, you're gonna want to be far enough away that no one can hear what he's doing to you. (Unless you're into that)

Rogal Dorn: No guy who makes a full body pain glove is normal okay. He wants you to do your best to make him come while he tries to hold off as long as possible. Also maybe a bit of pain play. Konrad Curze: Blood play, knife play, also predator/prey dynamics but it'd gonna be a lot more dangerous for you when he finds you. He will however give you aftercare if he's in the right mindset.

Sanguinius: Body worship, it goes both ways, also praising. He may get a bit bitey sometimes also. Ferrus Manus: Pretty standard rough sex, a bit of breeding, sensory play involving temperature. Angron: You gotta restrain him, it's not even a kink at this point it's for your safety.

Roboute Guilliman: Breeding, also if you bring him things while he's working to give him little breaks and lots of love that gets him going. He just needs your love and support. That's the biggest turn on for him.

Mortarion: I feel like he enjoys a challenge, and if you tease him throughout the day he's not gonna show it but he's gonna be rock hard till he gets you in bed later. And then you'll get to see his famed endurance first hand.

Magnus: He enjoys having his ego stroked, and when you show off a bit of book smarts. Also rub him down with some body oil. Horus: He is a power top who gets off on being called Warmaster or Master in bed. He's also not opposed to taming you and making you submit to him.

Lorgar: You are his kink. If he's pursuing you then it doesn't matter what else is going on in bed. As long as it involves you. And maybe some genuine sentiments of love.

Vulkan: MATING in all caps. He's also gonna pound you on his anvil the same way he does a new weapon.

Corvus corax: He wants to find you, hide and seek style. Another one where you'd better hope you hid in a place far enough from other people. Also risky business in public, like making you sit on his knee while he rubs you off under the table.

Alpharius: He and Omegon like to share you. Both at the same time. Sex is never a private affair for those two.

[moodymisty]

The Primarch's responses to their beloved ovulating:

Lion El'Jonson: Doesn't know what's that. When you explained it to him, he ran into the forest. However as an old daddy dilf HE acts like a cat in heat. 10,000 years without you? Even this autistically aggressive man realizes that that's bad

Fulgrim: "Bruh, I already knew". Magically, he somehows knows whenever his lover is menstruating or ovulating. If there is a blood moon, the wind is exactly at 11.5 km/h, the glass is by 0.075% wetter than usual and maybe a leap year, he'll fuck you. Otherwise, ‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️ OVERSTIMULATION ACTIVATION ‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

Perturabo: Teleports behind you in bed, in the night which he calculated that you should began ovulating, and is like "Wife, wake up. It's time for your monthly pelvis rupture. Also you should be ovulating. Let me take off your underwear in order to check-"

Jaghatai Khan: You tell him you're ovulating; "Okay, let's fuck." Strips you off your clothes in .2 milliseconds, fucks you in 248 different positions in 1 minute 39 seconds and 157 milliseconds, you cum about x70 times while he doesn't sweat. He laments the fact he wasn't fast enough while letting you palm his hairy titties

Leman Russ: The most excited mf ever. He and Horus have the fattest breeding kink ever. But, unlike his bro, he completely forgets about fucking his beloved and instead goes to drink "with the mates" celebrating it. Like "YAAAAA BOYS 'AM GOIN' TO FUCK MAH WIFEY AGHHFAJGAHA"

Rogal Dorn: "No." A simple no. He denies the fact that you are fertile. However during the evening, after being scolded by Good Ol' Emps for being aggressively autistic, he comes into your chambers and silently wrecks your world as he wrecked your pussy

Konrad Curze/The Night Haunter: The type of dude trying to feed the weirdest shit "for your fertility". Like he comes in with a bowl of something strange and is "Eat this, fuck toy ⊂⁠(⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠*⁠⊂⁠)" (the type of dude to have call you the most bizarre nicknames) and you later find out it's human flesh

Ferrus Manus: His wife is already madly, completely and perfectly in love with him (as he is with her). But now she wants him more? He is the happiest man alive! The Iron Hands can't get him out of the Legion Mother's quarters during this days. When she gets out, she walks around with a limp and a huge smile on her face

Angron: doesn't understand the concept of ovulation or menstruation. If you two are sexually active, he'll fuck you whenever he feels like it. Like he'll fuck you while he's slaughtering, while he's slaughtering his sons, while he's slaughtering his brother's son's, while he's slaughtering his enemies. You'll just have to grab a book or something and be a dear about it!

Roboute Guilliman: has a mental breakdown that his logistics and excel spreadsheets were wrong about the date of when you began ovulating. Cries and you try to comfort him by giving him the sloppy toppy gooah goooah 300001.2

Mortarion: is miserably happy. His hot, gorgeous, out-of-league wife wants him even more? He'll immediately oblige to her every whim. You can expect for him to agree to fuck you in the worst situations. Like he's cumming in you while Nurgle watches on and is like "THAT'S MAHH SON. ANNIHILATE THAT HUMAN FEMALE. FLAWLESS VICTORY!!!!!". Mortarion is more horny than his wife during this time.

Magnus: When you tell him, he psychically enters your mind and makes you not forget to take your birth control pills.

Horus Lupercal: "FINALLY." *the Lady of the Luna Wolves hasn't been seen ever since.*

Lorgar Aurelian: Don't let him get to you. He's not the same man this days... The man whore is being a man whore

Vulkan: His carefully veiled breeding kink is full mode. He is even lovey-dovey, which is a lot considering Vulkan. The sex is going to be romantic, with him feeling comfortable playing with his kinks. The Salamanders worry why haven't their mother walk out of her room for 3 weeks.

Corvus Corax: he ends up crying because he knows you'll be even more insatiable. You end up riding him as best as you could and spooning afterwards :3

Alpharius and Omegon: They already know. They shall know. They must know... And you're in a room with 70 different copies of your husband. The reality of being the Lady of the Alpha Legion. "Woman with 70 different husband dies after taking too much dick"

All of these made me literally laugh out loud

But Horus and Mortarion brought tears to my eyes

[thethronezone]

Oh, don't mind me, I'm just imagining which monsters from Monster Hunter would serve as the best companions for each individual Primarch. Tried to avoid Elder Dragons but some were just too perfect.

Konrad would definitely have a Nerscylla because come on. Creepy giant spider that wears the skins of its victims as a cloak? That screams Night Lord to me!

Jaghatai definitely has a Kirin since he's all for speed and loves horses. You try and look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't be all for this lightning unicorn. Maybe a Valstrax.

Fulgrim gets a Mizutsune. They are very beautiful and he's all about the aesthetic. He'd probably name it some super pompous name and give it a diamond collar.

Corvus would have a Nargacuga. It's stealthy, got wings and is covered in black fur. It would also serve as his emotional support animal.

Lion would have a Barioth. Partially because, yes, it's a fucking cat, of course LION would have a cat monster. But I really do believe it would fit him.

Leman would have a Zinogre. Just like how Lion would have a cat monster, Leman would have a wolf one. That and it is very ferocious. He would ride that thing into battle.

Angron... well, I have to go with Odogaron. At first I considered a Deviljho but then I remembered that gladiator Angron artwork where he's got a dog beside him and... yeah.

Horus has a Nergigante because that thing hunts Elder Dragons and Mr. Horus "I almost killed the Emperor" Lupercal wouldn't settle for less.

Alpharius and Omegon shares a Nakarkos. It's a cephalopod that looks like it has two tentacles it pretends to be dragon heads, it is an actual fake hydra.

Ferrus is a bit hard (no pun intended) but ultimately I think a Bazelgeuse would fit him. I think he would be absolutely fascinated by its exploding scales.

Perturabo could probably have a Diablos. I can mainly see him with one because they dig underground lairs and I could see him use one during a siege.

Sanguinius' monster would be a Legiana. It is very beautiful, can fly and I dunno, I just think it fits his vibes. Not to mention I see some potential with different patterns on its wings.

Rogal would have a Gravios. It has tough stone like armor which makes me kinda associate it with Dorn's fortresses. I can see it sleeping on the fort walls.

Roboute gets the Arkveld. It is considered to be part of an extinct species and... well, there aren't a lot of Primarchs around anymore. He'd probably feel a kinship to it.

Magnus has a Malfestio. Because he's a wizard. And that's a big fucking owl. I'm so sorry, I can't get it out of my head. It also looks very magical.

Vulkan gets a mf Zorah Magdaros. Is it unfair to everyone else? Yes. Do I care? No. That's his baby! His giganitic, magma covered, living mountain baby. He would have a forge near one of its cores.

Lorgar has a Rahian. A golden one, to be precise. Because this bitch loves the Emperor (at least before the Heresy and falling to Chaos) and we all know Big E loves gold.

[mothiir]

out of all primarchs, who do you think is most likely to be a homewrecker for their sons?

is konrad stealing you from shang and making him watch? sanguinius stealing you from dante?

This is a GREAT prompt.

Konrad: Shang was one of the few who was loyal to Konrad himself -- one of the few sons that Curze didn’t actually hate. However, Konrad poisons everything he touches, and everything he cares for (though the word ‘cares’ may be a stretch here). Maybe one day he sees Shang’s scared little serf being a little less scared around Shang; maybe he smells how content Shang is after taking you to bed. Maybe it is when the teeth of madness have started to close around Konrad’s throat, and he is reaching desperately for something -- anything -- to stop the horror of his visions. Whatever reason its for, the end result is the same: Shang’s girl vanishes from his quarters, leaving behind no trace she was even there. He rips apart the ship in a panic, trying to find you; he ends up grabbing Sevatar by the throat, lifting him off the ground, blaming him -- but the other Night Lord is strangely gentle as he says that maybe he should just forget about you. There are plenty of other humans aboard, after all. Shang casts him aside and goes to the one place he has yet to check, and of course that is where he finds you, underneath Konrad, weeping into a pillow as his genefather fucks you. Konrad hears him enter, but doesn’t stop -- just looks up and meets his eyes and smiles, showing every one of his teeth, his hips still rolling lazily against your arse. “I can see why you like her,” he purrs. “Don’t worry -- I’ll give her back when I’m done.”

Angron: Angron never liked his sons, and their attempts to endear themselves to him only made him hate them more. He thinks they’re poor substitutes for his long-dead friends. Even their name -- world eater -- seems like a sick joke. When he sees you carding your fingers through Kharn’s hair, murmuring to him, an idea strikes -- how he can finally stop their mewling attempts to get him to love them. He fucks you in Kharn’s bed, fucks you bloody and leaves you there, dripping his seed. He makes it very clear to Kharn that he’s going to keep doing this -- whenever he likes, as often as he likes. Isn’t that the right of a genefather?

Sanguinius: this is actually a little softer. Dante loves you very much, and he loves his father very much, and he hates to see Sanguinius suffer. He suggests his idea to you, and you need very little convincing -- you, like everyone else, adore the Angel, despite the gruesome nature of his appetites. It starts off with Sanguinius drinking in deep grateful draughts from your thigh, while Dante strokes his hair, and ends up with you trying your best to get Dante’s cock down your throat while Sanguinius fucks you from behind, his wings surrounding the three of you in a proprietary, feathery shield. 

Perturabo: Like Angron, Perturabo has no love for his sons. Unlike Angron, there is little deliberate malice in how he takes you from Kyodomor Forrix: it’s all pragmatism. He notices that his optimal functioning is slipping, and that Kyodomor is able to keep his morale up despite consistent disappointment. It does not take a genius to realise that the only thing Kyodomor has which Perturabo does not is you. Once he’s cum down your throat, he’s astonished by the change in himself: the red mist lifts, if only a little, and the world seems a little brighter. He informs Kyodomor of your reassignment while you suck him off under the desk. After all, Perturabo is a great believer in multitasking. 

Leman Russ: Going to be honest, this does not count as cucking, since Bjorn is watching the entire time, cheering his jarl on. It’s an honour for his father to take an interest in his woman, and the pack shares everything between them. After Leman Russ has his fill, Bjorn takes over, sliding his cock through the mess his Primarch made of your cunt, fucking you until you’re not sure which cum leaking down your thighs belongs to who -- not that it matters. The pair trade you back and forth until you literally collapse, and then sleep in a happy (slightly smelly) huddle with you. You’ll wake up sticky, sore, and utterly content. 

Alpharius/Omegon: They routinely swap places with Ingo Pech, with his full knowledge and consent -- everyone is Alpharius, which means that when one Alpharius is fucking you they all can. Which makes sense to them, if not so much to you. You have no idea how many different Alpha Legionnaires have actually bedded you by this point -- or, indeed, if you’ve actually been bedded by the First Captain at all, or just a variety of his brothers/fathers pretending to be him. 

[ms--lobotomy]

“How much prep time do you think I’ll need to take on a bear?”

I only have this kind of requests/questions, I’m sorry

-🪿

Hi Anon! Don't be sorry, I love these requests. Mailbox open specifically for you btw

LION EL'JONSON- You need to repeat the question because he just stares at you. "Three." "Three what?" Refuses to elaborate. ???- So busy prepping that they died. FULGRIM- "How much prep time?" he asks. You can tell that he's trying to avoid the question, so you ask it again. "I would rather engage one of my brothers in a duel." Bastard. PERTURABO- "Let me prep instead," he says, mainly because he really wants to build some complex machinery to catch the bear. You refuse, but he helps with the prepping anyways. Gives you no answer on how much time it would take. JAGHATAI KHAN- "A better question would be how much time the bear needs to take on yourself." Knows how often you get up to this bullshit, and knows how you aren't fucking around. LEMAN RUSS- Surprisingly honest in his response, if not completely wrong. Goes into detail on how you could take on a bear, but assumes you are as stupidly powerful as a Primarch. ROGAL DORN- "You are not going to fight a bear." There is an awkward silence between you two before you reveal that you were planning to do it whether he liked it or not. He sighs and overestimates the time you'd need. KONRAD CURZE- Giving the most deranged grin you've ever seen, he says "None." There is blood in his teeth. SANGUINIUS- He puts a gentle hand on your head. "You do not need to prep. I can take care of it for you." You have to explain to him that no, you want this, you crave bear violence. FERRUS MANUS- "It depends on how well you prep," he shrugs. Offers to help build you weaponry for your bear escapades. You are now in posession of a sword as tall as you are. ???- Turned into a bear. Run! ANGRON- "Absolutely none," he grins. Ready to take on a bear at a moment's notice, and if you're close to him, you probably are as well. Glorious melee combat is glorious melee combat, bear or not. ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN- Sighs. "This again?" Thinks for a minute before giving you an honest answer. Offers to provide paperwork to prove that you can take on a bear. MORTARION- Stares at you for a minute before you realize that he's thinking. "I wouldn't do it if I were you, but I know there's no stopping you." Tells you that you need more time than you actually do. MAGNUS THE RED- "What planet do you plan on fighting the bear on?" he asked. "Do you have any methods for doing so?" Needs to know more, more about what you plan on doing before answering. HORUS LUPERCAL- Quirks an eyebrow at you. "You really won't leave these poor animals alone?" he chides lightheartedly. Gives a throwaway answer again. LORGAR- Lectures you on how important bears are to the planet's ecosystem and why it is a bad idea to take on an apex predator in the first place. You ignore him. VULKAN- "You're not taking it on without any help." Forges you some armor that's surprisingly light. Doesn't want you to get hurt in this debacle. CORVUS CORAX- "I don't know, maybe an hour?" When it comes time for you to take on the bear, though, Corvus comes out of the void and scares the bear away. Asshole. ALPHARIUS- "Huh?" May have already begun prepping to fight the bear. May be planning to sic a bear on you. Run.