#i fucking hate that predator reboot

[metaforth]

I can speak for myself. As an autistic person I am more than capable of deciding on my own what offends me in terms of representation. I do not need allistics to come to my defense on matters I don't even care about.

It infuriates me to no end everytime I see the thousandth video by an allistic person insisting a specific character is autism coded and talking about how they're a harmful stereotype when I myself don't even see what makes that character seem autistic. Perhaps the one with stereotypical views on aspies isn't any of the people working on that show methinks.

Like honestly, I don't really have any problems with Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. Honestly I sorta like him. For one that show runners have denied time and time again that he's meant to be autistic to the point of making it canon in the show that he was tested for it and isn't but, if we're looking at him that way...

He's a PhD holding scientist with a high paying job. He's got a circle of friends who while they may at times find him irritating ultimately are willing to give him the space he needs and understand his differences from their behavior wise and that sometimes they need to be a little more careful with him, friends who share and are willing to indulge him on his special interests. By the end of the show he has a wife that loves and respects him not in spite of his behaviors, but in large part because of how they're part of who he is. This is bad? Fuck this is aspirational. I'd love this. But the show makes some jokes at his expense so the creators are ableist I guess.

Now I haven't seen every single episode of Big Bang so maybe they go all autism speaks at some point, who knows, but my point is maybe let us talk about this? The people who actually are autistic and would love a platform to be seen talking about it.

The one that pisses me off the most is when people assert that Arthur from the Joker movie is autistic (what?) and the movie depicts that as the primary reason he's violent. For one I never got that sense from the movie, I got the sense that a multitude of things in his life lead to his decline and to his eventual turn to violence and public outbursts aside from just his mental conditions, societal pressures, constant abuse from everyone in his life and complete strangers alike, a lifetime of being lied to by his mother, ect. But ig you need some way to feel morally superior to people with media literacy so have your tangents about how the movie is ableist I guess.

And it was mostly nuerotypicals making that point, which is even more annoying to me. Videos like that got so fucking big and most of the time were made by people who honestly, I don't even think saw the movie, and were white knighting on behalf of a group of people who at least in my circles, fucking love Joker.

Let autistic people speak for themselves. By speaking over us when we don't have a platform to be heard and insisting you know what we're thinking when we're capable of doing communicating that ourselves you are no different than the con artists at Autism Speaks or the ableists who think we're all non verbal and incapable of interacting with other human beings. You are doing just as much harm as any of them, if not even more because you're tricking people into believing you actually care what we think.

I'm certain plenty of autistic and neurodivergent disagree with my opinions on Joker and Big Bang Theory and thats great. But I want to hear THEIR takes on why, not yours.

That's why the rallying cry for us will always be important, because we have the constant experience of being denied a platform to speak about our own issues, even by our alleged allies. So it is now and forever shall be, Nothing about us, without us.

[mimikyufriend]

looking at the comics list I had on my "interests" page on my abt like forever ago

Always Raining Here - dropped this one bc the creators seemed fujioshi-ish (idk if they really are or not) also it had sex scenes with teenagers (not like explicit but still more than I was comfortable with seeing)

Ava’s Demon - dropped after all the shit with sexualizing minors came out

Balderdash - it doesn't update much, but I still like it, very cute ^_^

Boxer Hockey - the creator works on sonic stuff now which is so cool, I don't remember much abt his comic though >_<

Check, Please! - I haven't read this one in a while, cute, but not my favorite

Cucumber Quest - still love it, need to reread and catch up

Hanna Is Not A Boy’s Name - I still miss it

Helvetica - I liked that there was a character with the same name as me ^__^ I dunno if this one's worth a revisit though, I don't think it'll ever be finished

Homestuck - I liked this shit for way too fucking long

Knight’s Errant - forgot abt this one, but the art was gorgeous

Lackadaisy - I'm sooooo behind but it's so exciting that there's an animation of it now

Monster Pop! - dropped this one bc I found art by the creator of the main character (college age) shipped with the ava's demon main character (under 15? idr her age) also she still seems to be friends with the ava's demon creator

Monster Pulse - dropped bc the creator drew art of chiyo gsnk making an ahego face (in a non-sexual context as a punchline but it was still weird)

Monsterkind - I haven't kept up with this one much >_<

Neokosmos - I think it's discontinued? lost interest

Never Satisfied - dropped bc the creator made dick jokes about their teenage bnha oc

Not Drunk Enough - I want to like this one bc it's by the hinabn creator, but it never totally grabbed me, I need to try it out again

Olympus Overdrive - the site for this one was taken down (sad)

Parallax - dropped bc on of the teenage characters had a sexualized design and bc the creator shipped sheith

Paranatural - very behind but I love it ^__^

Peritale - dropped bc the creator was weird abt the sazzed drama and maybe some other stuff idk

Phoenix Flair - I don't think this one will be continued but I liked it while it lasted

Prague Race - LOVED this one, too bad it's no more

Puu - completed, I should reread bc it's lovely

Rock And Riot - not my favorite, don't feel the need to revisit but it was fine

Sakana - ABSOLUTE FAVE

Scott Pilgrim - I can appreciate the art style and its influence, but I can't get past scott dating a high schooler, that's more than being a loser, that's being a predator

Skeptical - still love this one as well ^__^ need to reread and catch up

Sleepless Domain - very fun, need to catch up

Snarlbear - completed, loved how colorful it is, I should reread

Spacehop - I believe the creator is making a sort of reboot for it? looking forward to that

Super Mahou - same as peritale

The Property Of Hate - dropped bc the creator likes abot

The Well By The House On The Hill - same as peritale

This Is Not Fiction - mixed feelings bc like the author strung us along for the longest time to the point where it seemed like gaybaiting and then it wasn't... it was pretty cute though

Vibe - I think I just like lost interest and wasn't into certain character designs of women

Witchy - I like this one, but it's never been priority reading

[wooglebear]

May I offer you another original character for tetocu23?

Details on her (and another person) under the cut.

To understand Juliet, we need to talk about tetocu23 Dante.

Like Javi and the Sophies, Dante talks in this reboot.

He's another theatre kid. He trades his canonical muteness to make room for a bit of a snarky attitude. Dante is creative, ditzy and kind of a pushover. He has a polite smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. And he's open-minded and easily persuaded. He's still Erica's right-hand man. And he's friends with toilette and dressy, too! Pretty good friends with Alyssa. They bond over being theatre kids :)

His design is the same, but his blue shirt is traded for a sweater vest.

Dante is from a privileged household, and knows all too well what Erica growing up too fast feels like (he himself has a stepsister). He's the golden child. His grades are perfect. Erica sometimes helps him with doing his homework.

But someone's a bit too obsessed with him.

Enter Juliet Baxter. In season 1, she's a background character who Krupp quickly deems an annoyance but she becomes major in season 2.

Juilet is… a bit of an enigma to put it lightly, to everyone else and to herself. On one hand, she's very excitable. Very loud, this tomboy can talk you into confusion in no time flat, and is a kendo master. When it comes to swordplay, even monsters of a chance don't stand a chance against her. Sometimes, Juilet is never seen without her bamboo sword. Anyone who tries to mess with her is in for a world of disappointment and pain.

But Juilet has another side to her..

She's a stalker.

Juilet is borderline obsessed with two people: Dante, and Cash Networth (not helping is the fact Cash and Juliet share the same birthday. Which is on February 14th. Yes, Juilet shares her birthday with both Cash and Valentine's Day & has the middle name 'Valentine').

It's not Cash and Dante, she fangirls over everyone else, too!

In fact, Juilet first shows this nightmarish side in the season 2 two parter, when SHE MEETS HAZEL AT THE BACK OF THE SCHOOL DURING ONE OF THE LATTER's INVESTIGATIONS AND ASKS IF SHE COULD CUT A PUECE OF HER HAIR OFF FOR HER SCRAPBOOK.

BUT HAZEL’S LIKE 'LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE I LIKE MY HAIR YOU FUCKING STALKER'

Poor Cash Networth. He was just chilling with Javi, and got slapped out of nowhere with a girl rambling about Transformers, Steven Universe, The Owl House, Amphibia, The Ghost And Molly McGee, and Gravity Falls.

Juilet at first: idk who this Cash Networth is. *hears about some of his adventures* So you're Cash Networth, billionaire owner of Camp Uppercrust, and resident adventurer, just as the rumors say! I’ll be your number one fan!

Cash's thoughts: You know what, Javi? I sometimes forget this a girl is a student at this school.

At the age where kids are struggling to figure out their identities, Juilet has to sort out TWO. Is she a boisterous sword wielding tomboy? Or is she a creepy stalker? These two sides of her are at war with each other, as her Kendoka sometimes overlaps with her stalking.

She's the only person Cash hates more than Krupp, despite Krupp not treating him as horribly as canon tetocu. Alyssa hates her. George and Harold are friends with her until they find out her stalker personality, and they hate her. Gooch, Bo, Jessica and the Sophies, Erica, Stanley, Dressy, and Dante hate her. Cara, Hazel, and even Melvinborg hate her. The teachers are just about the only people who tolerate Juliet.

Despite being a terrible person, Juliet cares about Cash and Javi. Whenever they’re in danger (or heck, turned into stone), she's ready to flatten a monster of the week with a steamroller if one were available. During the tetocu23 equivalent of the camoflush ep, not only does Camoflush have the same Predator powers he does in canon, but he kidnaps Cash and Javi as well! Not too surprisingly, the girl is really mad at Camoflush when she finds her "boyfriend" (in her eyes, anyway) and his boyfriend caught in a net snare. And when Camoflush does point out that Cash and Javi will not die… and they'll probably be still hanging there when he repaints the world into a rule free paradise, she gets even more fucking mad.

Juliet: You crossed the line!

Camoflush: The painting line!

Juliet: No, the other line!

Is Juliet as straight as a pencil? Probably. But for now Juliet hasn't decided much about her sexuality yet.

Eventually, between Javi being kidnapped by Krupp and the the stalker "girlfriend" he always thought he wanted until he got one in this theoretical reboot, Cash gets angry. Angry enough to do something to Krupp. He slaps him hard and this happens:

Cash: Mr. Krupp! You seem to care more about your girlfriend than the students of your school, you don't care about almost killing me, and you didn't care at all for my boyfriend! Plus, you would have almost certainly done the same horrible things you did to Javi to that janitor! You're horrible! You're... an irredeemable monster!

Javi: My boyfriend's right! Krupp, you need to get your eyes checked, because you clearly haven't seen what the rest of us have. Poor Hazel's just crying for help, to be saved from her big brother, and who the heck are we to just ignore her?

After this, it's just five whole "episodes" of Cash being pissed at Krupp. Krupp and Cash still have their Glom and Scrooge dt17-esque rivalry with each other, but now Cash thinks his anger feels even more deserving towards Krupp given how much he didn't give a fuck about Javi. Don't worry, Cash gets over his anger. At least, unlike those two Scottish ducks, Cash and Krupp aren't out to actively kill each other lol

As for why Cash slapped Krupp? Because the movie side of the fandom clearly didn't like how Krupp was depicted in tetocu season 3, I'm sure they wanted him to get more karma for what he did to poor Cash. So I figured, why not?

Also, Lee and Cash are not the same person in this reboot. I doubt any of us had a problem with the "cash networth = Lee Dingman" impersonation trick when it was first revealed, but by the end of the talent show episode, I think we all started seeing a few problems. Lee and Cara are going to be the same person. Let me explain. Cara actually has a shapeshifting invention, which ends up allowing plausibility for her to pass as literally anyone, regardless of age, gender, race, religion or shoe size.

(Tetocu23 AU belongs to @infini-tree and @cartchytuns)

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Haha, it's okay. I've seen Prey. It's just that I haven't watched the movie fully in two years. But I still remember it very much. So, don't worry. I fuckin love the film. I just need to get a physical release of it and add it to my physical collections.

The way I've described Requiem in a "Funny" way is that it's not really a movie. It's an experience like Shrek....granted, not a good experience. But it has to be seen to believe. I'm still amazed I watched that film a crap ton as a kid.

Yeah...the Predalien doing that to pregnant women...I get the complaints.

I swear when watching the first AVP. I was wondering what the "Central theme" of the movie was. Was it, "Leave your mark on history" like that conversation Lex has with Weyland. And yet it feels kind of lost or something. But yeah, what you're saying. The multiple themes part. I have thought of a funny joke that the film feels like if National Treasure meets Rampage 2018. And the idea of Nicolas Cage facing the Alien and the Predator amuses me.

I'll just admit this. I legit feel like Scar getting Facehugged and the whole Predalien bit shouldn't have been a thing...yeah. More so just the Facehugger aspect because I legit question if Scar knew he had a parasite inside.

If a third movie ever happens. It's likely going to be a reboot. Because I realistically think 20th Century Studios does not want to connect those first two films. And the idea of Fede Alveraz and Dan Trachtenberg both directing one really intrigues me.

I just don't like the idea of the "Bigger, badder Predator" aspect and the "Dogs and Wolves" comparison. You telling me somehow these "Super Predators" are better despite three of them can get killed in a day? Was a sub species necessary or whatever. But I'll admit, I like different variations too.

Also yeah, the experimentation and abducting humans seems lazy. It kind of shows these Predators as...so you can't handle these guys on their turf? Or do you want to make your hunt easier?

Assassin/Upgrade is a disgrace...I'll just say that.

-

Oh man, I'm glad someone feels a similar way.

*Looks at Littlejimmy835's reviews and him somewhat making a comparison that making the Predator a good guy is like making the Joker a good guy...what the fuck?*

Honestly...I'm a little reminded of how there are some fans who hate Aliens with a passion because the film introduced the concept of the hive and the queen.

Anyway, you're welcome.

You know, I’m just gonna admit this. I have my issues with Aliens Vs Predator 2 Requiem. I really do. Yet you know what, as I have grown up and time has gone on.

I genuinely believe The Predator 2018 is maybe the worst Predator film. My opinions long ago were affected by some others. But I’m just gonna make a quick list of my favorite Predator films.

1. Predator.

2. Predator 2.

3. Alien Vs Predator.

4. Aliens Vs Predator 2 Requiem.

5. Predators.

6. The Predator 2018.

It may sound crazy, while AVP2R has a shit ton of problems. It didn’t try to tarnish the Yautja mythology and whatever. It was practically a nihilistic gore fest with shitty lighting. And sadly has some good practical effects and one of my favorite Yautja in the series. 

Sorry, I just wanted to make this. I was reading the comments below the clip of the Predator killer reveal from The Predator 2018. 

Okay, I just switched Predators and AVP2R’s place in the rankings. Like seriously, what the fuck were they thinking with that last Predator movie?

Edit update I just switched the ranking again and decided to go with my personal opinion. I haven’t seen AVP 1 and Predators in years. I will admit, I think the reason why I still think back to AVP2R is because of the fact that film got made and how over the top it got. But also, it’s because of the fact I liked that film as a kid. And it gave me what I wanted. Despite the lighting needs to be better.

And I will admit this, the first AVP holds a special place in my heart. Because that was the film that introduced me to both Alien and Predator. And I’m pretty grateful for that. I’m glad it exists.

Another update, I changed the ranking again.

[bigskydreaming]

Here’s a thing:

I’ve seen a lot of Talia fans bothered by various posts about the Dick and Talia scene in Urban Legends, and like.....they’re absolutely right to be, IMO. I get it. I don’t blame them in the least and I’m not a fan of my own part in that.

So yeah...I don’t actually love the joke posts I made about the Dick and Talia thing the other night, or the atmosphere they’ve helped extend around that. They were just reactive shitposts I made in the moment without really thinking things through or how they’d be received or impact they could have. And not only are they not really representative of how I really see Dick and Talia’s dynamic, which DOES diverge significantly from a lot of greater fandom opinions on them....I also just shouldn’t have taken that Talia characterization at face value, and the whole thing (both the story and my own reaction to it) does a great disservice to her character and fans. After actually thinking about it a bit, like, that was A Mistake and one I’m not thrilled about and I can’t really walk it back but hopefully I can course correct a bit with some follow up.

The thing is, I don’t fuck with Morrison’s characterization of Talia, or Talia As Rapist, whatsoever. Hate it with a passion. But that doesn’t change the fact that it informs a lot of how she’s treated and talked about in both canon and fandom, and that awareness needs to be prioritized as a factor in convos about her. I don’t actually like emphasizing Dick and Talia at odds over Damian, as I think Damian has absolutely nothing to do with why they might not like each other. I’m firmly in the camp of Let Dick Be Damian’s Brother as opposed to seeing him as one of Damian’s parents, but I AM aware of how others view Dick and Talia as pitted against each other like rival parental figures where one is seen waaaaaaay more favorably than the other, and I really should have taken that into account before posting stuff that could easily feed into that regardless of whether or not that was my intent.

And above all else, there’s the fact that Talia has long been subjected to racist takes by both canon and fandom in ways that Dick absolutely has not. Even if like me you absolutely do view him and engage with his character as a character of color as well, this is not interchangeable with the way racism has factored into Talia’s writing and reception, and not factoring that in to how we talk about these characters or the dynamic we give them is a problem.

None of that was anywhere in anything I said on the topic the other day, and the jokes I contributed shouldn’t be more central to how Talia’s being talked about right now, than all of that instead.

So, here’s a better exploration of how I view Dick and Talia, or think they can be portrayed.

I do see Dick and Talia as mutually antagonistic but for reasons that have nothing to do with Damian. I think a lot of it is Dick’s fault, actually, and I do think there’s potential for humor in the idea that Dick’s attitude towards her is kinda childish and rooted in resentments he built up towards her as a kid, and that he’s never actually unpacked as he got older. But that only really works if its kept centered that he ISN’T rational about this and shouldn’t be validated for it.

This is as much headcanon as canon because I DON’T like the reasons canon has given for why Dick and Talia don’t get along. But I think that you could go with an angle that builds on Dick’s own insecurities and fears of impermanence about his living situation and relationship with Bruce, back when he was younger (assuming you’re interested in takes that build or assume a history of interactions that predate when they first met in pre-Reboot continuity, as Dick was already in college by then).

Point is, I think there’s angles from which Dick might have felt threatened by Talia’s presence in Bruce’s life in ways he never was by Selina’s, because Selina herself is rarely shown entertaining the idea of actually making her relationship with Bruce a cemented, permanent thing that WOULD affect Dick by extension. 

In contrast, Talia’s presence in Bruce’s life (pre-Morrison) came with more visible conflict for Bruce, because both Talia and Bruce could more obviously be seen as struggling with the desire to turn their back on their respective beliefs/methodologies in order TO be with the other.

(After all, in the original story in which Bruce and Talia had a child, this was literally what happened.)

So, in any fic, headcanon or continuity that has Bruce and Talia engage in a will-they/won’t-they narrative while Dick is Robin....Dick might have worried about Talia’s impact on Bruce - and the impact this would have on him - in ways he never did about Selina. Because historically, there was never really much of a question of if Bruce would give up being Batman or uproot himself to be with Selina. It was a non-factor. In contrast, the eternal conflict in Bruce and Talia’s relationship might well be that they’re both too steadfast in their personal convictions to ever be willing to fully put them aside in order to be with the other, despite all the ways and areas they disagree - BUT the conflict there is more evident, or might have been in a younger Dick’s eyes. Whether or not Bruce might actually do that could very well have been less of a given, from a third party perspective.

And again....this could absolutely be something that Dick worried about and felt threatened by, because he didn’t take it as a given that if Bruce did drastically change his life to be with Talia, he would prioritize or de facto take or keep Dick with him, no matter how much things changed. As I frequently talk about in terms of the juvie origin or headcanons or narratives stemming from it, those things don’t exactly lend themselves to a younger Dick Grayson having absolute belief that his place in Bruce’s life and household was unshakeable. And even when he was younger and he and Bruce were arguably much closer, they still didn’t necessarily have the kind of dynamic where Dick would voluntarily raise his fears or concerns about this kinda thing.

So yeah, I do think there’s room for Dick to default to being a childish asshole about all things Talia, even if the reasoning is he’s gotten used to just being that way ever since he was a kid and he’s never really interrogated himself on WHY that is, or if it...HAS to be that way.

And on Talia’s side of things, it could be as simple as....she’s not the kind of person who’s going to put up with that or being treated that way, no matter who’s doing it. Ironically, you could say her very willingness to regard Dick as being as mature and capable as his vigilantism from a young age suggests he should be or at least COULD be.....this could absolutely be an angle for her being yeah, I’m not gonna try and be nice to someone who’s being an absolute shit to me because I DON’T view him as just being a kid who doesn’t know better. I’m viewing and engaging with him as the chosen partner of my beloved, who fully trusts his capabilities and judgment in the field and when encountering all kinds of enemies and hostile adversaries.

On a somewhat related note, I think it could be argued that Dick ‘gets’ Selina more than he does Talia, because he finds it easier to relate to or understand Selina’s flexibility and adaptability when it comes to fitting into various situations or how she engages with different scenarios. It makes sense to him because he’s the same way about a lot of stuff and how he’s adapted to the major changes throughout his life. In comparison, it could be argued that Talia and Bruce are a lot more of a matched pair there, more obvious foils in the way that they’re a lot less apologetic about planting their feet and stubbornly resisting attempts to change their mind or get them to go another way - they absolutely might have doubts or second-guess themselves internally, but that’s for them to process in their own ways and time, and not something they’re gonna just let anyone in on. 

And its not like Dick or Selina are ‘apologetic’ about their own approaches or convictions, or that they don’t also play their cards close to their chests, its just....it looks different when they do it. So when Talia does it - like Bruce - its not as apparent to Dick, he doesn’t intuit it or innately assume there’s more going on under the surface or that their words or actions might not one hundred percent reflect what they’re thinking or how sure they are about what they’re doing or saying.

What this then could translate into, practically speaking, is that Dick’s always seen Talia as a more direct parallel to Bruce. And the thing is.....we all know Dick has Issues with a capital I, when it comes to how Bruce does a lot of things. How resistant he is to bending on various matters, how unapologetic he can be....his dad pisses him off a lot, is the big takeaway there. But at the end of the day, Bruce is still his dad, and Dick can always look back on the history of love they have between them, the breadth and scope of their relationship as partners and as father and son. Dick’s biased when it comes to Bruce, is the thing. And this factors into how Dick views some of Bruce’s worst acts, how willing or not he is to forgive him for stuff, how far outside of his own comfort zone or personal worldview he’s willing to make an EFFORT to step in order to try and see where Bruce is coming from with stuff or understand his POV. 

How well Dick knows Bruce OUTSIDE of just the areas where they conflict, how much he WANTS to understand where Bruce is coming from when he doesn’t get why Bruce would do something....this of course plays a huge role in how invested Dick stays in his relationship with his father no matter what happens between them. How quick he is to give him the benefit of the doubt even when everyone else is pissed at Bruce and condemning him for something, why he’s so willing to advocate for Bruce even when he feels personally hurt by his choices as well.

But this investment flat out doesn’t exist in his own dynamic with Talia....and vice versa, because again, I think its just as true that Talia finds a lot of Dick’s choices and priorities equally baffling. Where Dick might not get why Bruce does something or agree with his choices, he still wants to reconcile that with the father he loves and knows loves him....but he has no such need or willingness to try and reconcile or understand Talia’s motivations. Similarly, where Talia might be frustrated by how stubborn Bruce is on something, even how naive she might consider him for a divergent point of view or methodology....she makes allowances for it, doesn’t prioritize that in how she views him overall, because she’s invested in the man Bruce is BESIDES just the times and ways they disagree. She adjusts and compensates because Bruce matters enough to her that she’s looking for reasons to find common ground or a workable compromise. 

But even when Dick does or professes something identical to what Bruce would do or believes himself, something he might even have picked up from Bruce or been taught by him....Talia’s more naturally inclined to lean into how stupid she thinks this is or how frustrating she finds it, because she has no real stake in TRYING to do otherwise.

And honestly - I think you could also make a case or a story out of how much Dick’s antagonism towards Talia is because he, well, kinda scapegoats her in order to compensate for how frustrated he is with Bruce when it comes to ways and areas Bruce and Talia ARE alike. Dick might not be willing to LET himself be as frustrated or upset with his father as some of his choices make him.....but he sees no need to make such allowances when it comes to Talia even if what she’s doing isn’t much different from what Bruce would in a similar situation.

Cue up my feelings about Vengeance Academy, and how Dick knowing Talia’s involvement in it is all you’d ever need to explain them being eternally at odds.

Because, for instance, both Bruce and Talia show a history of being willing to train people from a very young age and put them into situations most people would consider them far too young for, because they do view them as capable of handling themselves and see this as a way to empower them or even enhance their chances of survival if they viewed them as inherently endangered because of who they were or other circumstances surrounding them.

And again, I think most people would agree that even with all the good things Dick associates with being Robin and his childhood of vigilantism, that same childhood vigilantism majorly contributed to ways in which he is fucked up. But even when in the throes of PTSD garnered from something that happened when Dick was Robin....the good things Dick associates with being Robin, being Bruce’s partner...those are still there. There’s no way for Dick to ever fully untangle the good from the bad, they go hand in hand. For all that he got hurt, too much of the very foundations of his and Bruce’s bond are rooted in those very same years of fighting side by side....for Dick to ever be able to truly regret being Robin or condemn Bruce for his role in the bigger picture, even when he does resent or blame Bruce for choices he made in specific stories.

But the same influencing or mitigating bias doesn’t innately extend to Talia’s role in enabling (his words) or empowering (hers) other kids from a young age. In fact, Dick’s views of Talia in this regard could easily be fueled or amplified by all the things he might deep down believe about how his own childhood vigilantism impacted him....but will never actually voice or maybe even face, because that risks straying too close to suggesting he regrets things he’s afraid or unwilling to regret, because of all the good he associates along with it.

He CAN’T judge Bruce too harshly, for all the things he associates with his childhood vigilantism....without feeling ungrateful for the stuff he DOESN’T regret, or without risking condemning himself for the mentoring and leadership role he’s had with other young heroes and his own successors.

Its too personal to him, he’s too entangled in it all.

But with Talia, it looks totally different, and he might honestly believe he’s being objective here. 

But TO Talia, this is only ever going to look one way: hypocritical. She’s understandably not going to be down for being judged for a lot of the exact same things Dick gives his father and family friends and himself a pass for, because they all do it ‘for the right reasons.’

And its not like being hypocritical here makes Dick a terrible character, or invalidates any of his own stories or choices, or sacrifices him for the sake of Talia’s character, lol, it just means what most of us are all in complete agreement about: he needs more therapy than he’s actually had! He’s got soooo much more to unpack about his entire life than what he’s actually unpacked! He can’t tell he’s not being objective because he has no clue how truly unobjective he actually is in a lot of instances!

But bottom line is.....I don’t think any of this has to vilify either Dick or Talia. It can just be conflict that’s born of them both being human and having very different perspectives on each other and their mutual dynamic. Either of them sniping at each other, preemptively or reactively, doesn’t have to be anything other than just....messy. This absolutely doesn’t make Dick her victim, it actually makes him the majority of the problem, to be frank, and I like that, honestly? I’m never going to NOT be one of the most annoying people in the room when I think Dick’s being condemned or criticized for shit I don’t think was his fault or that there’s context for that’s being left out of the conversation, let’s be real. But this is not that, and its actually a really good venue for showing how he IS flawed without asking him to be held accountable for more than his fair share of stuff.

And I think in character, Talia would roll her eyes at the very idea that being antagonized by her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend’s oldest kid is anything other than annoying or inconvenient for her - but it can still be those things! But it only works if things are kept appropriately framed and we’re not tipping the see-saw into trying to hold her accountable for a conflict that even IF you claim Dick only started when a child, he’s still perpetuating in stories where he’s an adult. Like, I’m just not a ‘turn the other cheek’ kinda person or fan and in favor of expecting a person or character to take the high road instead of just paying back in kind, the same energy someone gives them. But that’s a two-way street and it ONLY works as a two-way street.

So anyway. That’s my actual take on their dynamic, or what I headcanon or interpret their dynamic as being in various stories or when I write them myself. But even as the basis for how I view them and talk about them, it was nowhere on display in the posts I made the other night. So there’s no way it COULD have informed the conversation and how it was picked up and passed along and perpetuated by other people. And that’s one hundred percent on me, and not what I’d really like my contribution to the conversation to be.

[valdomarx]

Octoberfest Masterpost

This October I wrote a geraskier ficlet every day using prompts from monthly fests. It was lots of fun and I ended up writing nearly 25k in total, which is a lot for me! The fics are also posted here on AO3. Hope you enjoy!

1. A Marriage of Convenience (T, fake dating) Jaskier has some trouble with his inheritance: if he's not married by the age of 35, he'll be cut out of his family's will. Geralt, being the good friend he is, offers to help him out by marrying him.

2. A Timely Rescue (T, kidnapped) Jaskier gets kidnapped by Nilfgaardians looking for Princess Cirilla. Too bad he doesn't have any information to give them.

3. A Bit of Rough (M, manhandled) Geralt habitually manhandles Jaskier. Jaskier doesn't hate it.

4. The Chase (E, woods + predator & prey chase) Jaskier likes to be chased. Geralt is happy to oblige.

5. An Unconscionable Scandal (T, game of seduction) Geralt is faced with a most delicate situation when sharing a bed with Jaskier.

6. Beastly Appetites (M, 5+1 + monsterfucking) Five times Jaskier seduced the monster (and one time he seduced the monster hunter).

7. Your Song (T, misunderstandings) Geralt has noticed something about Jaskier's songs - they seem to have a rather distinct theme. He's starting to that Jaskier might be in love.

8. Scratching the Itch (M, outercourse) Jaskier tries to sneak away from camp to take care of some... personal business. Geralt won't let him leave though, and that's going to be an issue.

9. In the Eye of the Beholder (G, cat eyes) Geralt's cat eyes catch Jaskier's attention.

10. Incident and Injury (T, trail of blood) Jaskier gets hurt in a tavern fight, and Geralt has unexpected feelings about it.

11. An Unexpected Perk (T, only one bed) Geralt is a man who likes his space but, to his annoyance, Jaskier keeps pressing up close when they sleep.

12. A Most Grievous Injury (G, broken bones) Jaskier suffers what he insists is a most grievous injury while travelling with Geralt. Whatever will they do?

13. Like a Storm, Like a Flood (T, kiss in the rain) Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

14. A Perfectly Natural Reaction (M, monsters + bondage) Geralt needs Jaskier to act as bait for a hunt. Jaskier enjoys it more than he expects.

15. Almost (T, near miss kiss) An almost kiss on a quiet night camping in the forest.

16. A Matter of Preference (T, right person in front of them the whole time) Jaskier is a man of broad and varying tastes. But recently, he‘s started to wonder if he’s developed a type.

17. In Need of Inspiration (T, blackmail) Jaskier, most distressingly, has writer's block. He turns to Geralt for help.

18. Conspicuous in Its Absence (T, ghosts) After the mountain, Geralt catches glimpses of Jaskier everywhere he goes.

19. With Shaking Hands (T, shaky hands) The first time Jaskier patches Geralt up after he's injured on a hunt.

20. The Unforgiving Cold (T, hypothermia) Jaskier is struck down with hypothermia, and Geralt does his best to help.

21. You're On (T, the bet) Geralt bets Jaskier he won't be able to go a whole evening at a banquet without falling into someone's arms. How hard could that be to resist?

22. An Idle Curiosity (G, withdrawal) Jaskier looks like he gives great hugs. But he doesn’t hug Geralt, obviously. That would be weird.

23. The Scent of Home (T, exhaustion) When Jaskier is excited, he smells like juniper and pine. (A love story in scents.)

24. Dead Doesn’t Mean Gone (M, ghosts) People say it’s a ghost story, but it isn’t. It’s a love story.

25. Primal Instinct (E, fuck or die) Strange flowers are having a profound and most disconcerting effect on Geralt, but Jaskier seems fine with it.

26. Weak and Wanting (T, I think I’ve broken something) After the mountain, Jaskier tries to compose music and himself.

27. Comfortably Ensconced (T, extreme weather) Oh to be a bard cozied up under a pile of blankets in Kaer Morhen.

28. High Toxicity (M, high toxicity) The potions give him the edge he needs to take on larger, more dangerous monsters. But once the killing blow is struck and a trophy claimed, he’s left like this, with poison running through his veins and bile building in the back of his throat.

29. Siren Song (T, modern reboot of a classic tale) Jaskier is a siren, but he longs to leave his home beneath the waves for a life of adventure. When he meets a witcher, he might just have his chance.

30. Leave a Mark (E, marking) Geralt enjoys leaving his mark on Jaskier.

31. Untouchable (M, cursed) Jaskier is cursed to feel terrible pain whenever he touches anyone... Anyone except Geralt, that is.

[bennifits]

“I hate you.”

A/N: oh lmao. like bro we keep seeing cool holmes sibling that's like as smart as them or smth and like they're all really close but like nah man sometimes it ain't the case. like, they're both super fuck off smart and that's cool and all but dude they got issues to compensate for it. sherl can be super bad at connecting with people and can sometimes just miss basic things i mean look at molly, prime example. and mycroft cares but he kind of does it at a distance if that makes sense, i mean look at john and his first interaction, not even face to face at first he sends someone else to do the job for him almost like how he can 'send' john to watch sherl. sorry bit of a ramble but they can miss things is what i mean.

Summary: You realise you'll never be good enough for them.

Masterlist

For the entire week, every weather channel, weather program or report had all stated that “tomorrow there is going to be rain” and everyday there wouldn’t be. People would be going about their lives walking to jobs or plans with an umbrella in one hand or one is neatly packed into a bag of some kind. The clouds in the sky were only getting more and more darker as as the hours progressed, making some days feel like night had come early when it was only 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

Every now and then you swore you felt a droplet hit your nose or the top of your head as you walked around London in between whatever it was you were doing at the time. It was almost as if the droplet refreshed your state of mind, like rebooting a computer and grounding you. It had been easier and easier to slip away into your thoughts as of late, just like the clouds that darkened in the sky your mind was also filling up and the healthy thing would be to let it out with some nice rainfall.

You had a realisation, standing in your brother's flat, still being able to feel the drop of water on top of your head. You will never be good enough for your brothers... whether it was academically, physically, mentally, emotionally, you will never be good enough for them. They both picture themselves, unconsciously or not, high above others on a pedestal for their talents, you will never even get a pedestal.

“I hate you”

You’ve said those words before to him and your other brother. After all, what kind of sibling would you be if you didn’t? It’s a natural response as a child and someone would upset or annoy you, and of course you never meant those words, tiny brains could never really understand true hatred as they run to their Mum and Dad or to the bedroom to hide and cry, maybe abuse a pillow and slowly slam a door.

But the days where you didn’t truly comprehend the word are over. You understand it now.

This time you meant it. In that moment you really did despise and hate him and your brother. Hate is a strong word, and you tacked that word into them like a detective lining a cork board with red string connecting all the things they hated.

Your fists were balled right at your side, stiff and locked in place, nails digging into your palm painfully as you breathe in, staring at something far away, eyes locked on like a predator and prey. Don’t look at him, you can’t, you don’t want to.

But out the corner of your eye you can almost see him not take you seriously. Like he had done something, and you’d said it jokingly, but it doesn’t take long for his expression to falter.

“Y/N…”

“No, shut up.” you snap back quickly voice almost faltering as you spoke.

You felt bad John was there, that he has to listen to what’s happening, it wasn't his fault. You felt he’d almost understood your situation, having been Sherlock’s friend for so long. He has been the only one you've ever heard (other than your parents) that actually pulls Sherlock and Mycroft in line for anything unfavourable said to you. Saying "give them a break" or "I would do the same thing" even if he wouldn't really.

You would apologise to your brother for telling him to shut up, if you weren’t so upset right now.

Mycroft steps in, voice firm, sounding like a scolding parent “There’s no need for that kind of behaviour”

Your hands are shaking. “There’s plenty of need Mycroft” you sniff.

“What need? Don’t be so-“

“What?!” You spit at him, voice suddenly hoarse from the lump in your throat that makes you feel like you can’t breathe, like you’re drowning in air. “Say it.”

Emotional, vulnerable, unstable.

Mycroft seems to shrink almost. It’s impressive you think to yourself. Finally, you made one of the biggest influences in the country feel small.

You finally turn and face Sherlock. Eyes locking together as you see him stiff as a board and trapped in place, he doesn’t look entirely there, like half his mind is trying to figure out what’s going on, and the other is somewhere else that isn’t here.

You can hear the rain. It’s almost a relief that it’s finally raining. It feels like it’s washing the heavy guilt of your words and actions away, making them excusable.

You let out a huff, casting your eyes to the floor briefly letting in and out a shaky breath.

“I will… never be good enough for you both, will I?” You ask your brothers, head turning between them.

You can see Sherlock swallow whatever he is about to say. Robotic, thinking about what to say. Mycroft can't even look at you, can't spare the thought of letting down the youngest Holmes child.

Neither of them answer, as you look at them both. You sniff and aggressively wipe your eyes with your sleeve, biting your lip to stop it from quivering.

“Well then.” You nod, wiping another tear away, you can feel your face turning red. “You don't have to worry about me being a burden anymore then” and you swiftly turn around to leave.

You push past John who had become almost a statue, you can see it in his eyes as he watches you walk out the door and rush down the stairs that he wants to help, but isn't sure if he should get involved. You hear your name be called to stop as a pair of footsteps follow you, but you’re already gone before they reach the door.

Shame you didn’t bring an umbrella for the walk home.

[omegafrisk]

omegafrisk is om-over-frisk, apologies, and unreleased stuff

i want to preface this by saying that every time i admit to a mistake i get people trying to minimise it. if you’re getting ready to do that, please don’t. it makes me feel terrible. even if you don’t agree with how i feel, i violated my own morals, and that means a lot to me!

so, omegafrisk is definitely over. it’s partially that i was in a bad bad place when i started this comic and it’s always gonna be tied to that for me, partially that i’ve just become a much better writer since then and i’d have to reboot the whole thing to be satisfied with it, and partially just that i’m not into undertale enough to make a whole comic anymore.

and speaking of being in a bad place: letting that bleed through into my writing is what i want to apologise for. i’ve come to realise i was a victim of grooming when i started this comic (and as i continued to write it). it messed me up, and i wrote messed up stuff because i just didn’t know better. the child gore, the flippant use of suicide, the extremely inappropriate jokes about kids, probably other stuff i don’t remember - it all disgusts me now. i’m so sorry i put that out into the world and that it took me so long to address it.

i thought about password protecting this blog and shutting it down altogether, but i’ve decided i won’t do that. after wrestling with tumblr a bit i think i’ve deleted  the worst stuff, but if you think there’s anything else i should get rid of please bring it to my attention through IM, or through the submit box if you’re shy (you can submit anonymously if you log out).

again, don’t defend me. if you don’t agree keep it to yourself. i will block you if you try to minimise this.

heavy stuff out of the way, onto the content, which i’m sure most of you are much more interested in.

ABOUT THE STORY

i thought about releasing my entire plot outline, but... it sucks. that thing predates mad mew mew. it’s terrible. there’s barely even any detail. whatever you’ve come up with yourself is more interesting.

i do have plenty of stuff to share though! this summary got long as hell, so the rest is going under a cut.

since it’s so long, i’ll put the one thing i am mostly happy with here (obviously sui/child death implications):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1modE5IQiwNIwRPHBBkwADAEbPttbpIzJBWFaBZlvYHY/edit?usp=sharing

this is the script for an ask i was planning for ages. first written in 2016 apparently?? with the help of the fantastic emouse. it’s a look on what was going on in the original timeline while frisk and chara were off gallivanting through spacetime.

the one thing i’m not pleased with is i don’t think it’s totally ic for flowey to start resetting again. i left it in though ‘cause i don’t feel like updating it.

another thing i’ll leave you is the playlist of instrumental themes i collected for chara and frisk, which i don’t think i ever released. this must also be from about 2016.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVSr-S6q61wCF5IFuBO2Ipl0Nb-u3r4xo

it starts out with frisk’s themes, life/universe and high score are shared themes, and after that chara’s themes begin.

summaries of the rest of the event and the ending under the cut!

A WRINKLE IN TIME

i can at least summarise the rest of the event i had planned. mettaton was about to turn the tables on everyone by having a camera crew burst through the ceiling (which were gonna be some people’s cameo’d ocs). he’d broadcast the debate over who got the soul live to try and bully everyone into giving him it. he had some fair points - he’s the only one of them that’s literally indestructible (at least to monsters and small children) - but both asgore and undyne were determined that they would be the ones to take it.

flowey would then pop up with his own plan. he’d kill everyone in the room except for charadyne (and mettaton just because, again, indestructible to magic). it would’ve been a cool little animation that scrolled past everyone’s shocked faces as bullets appeared behind them with that jarring sound effect they have in game, then cut to black with a cacophony of them all turning to dust.

this was all to force charadyne to load their save. he thought they’d be able to load to before undyne absorbed chara’s soul, which would be impossible as that moment would’ve been undyne’s first save point. (i’m only now realising the hole in this - surely he would’ve known that after his fusion with chara? but wait, he didn’t know about resets until he was revived, can beasts just not save? fucking undertale man)

regardless, chara and undyne would try to reset to, in chara’s words, “the last time you were... filled with... determination”. i wanted to do an animatic to half of [this song]. sweet chimes as undyne rifles back through her memories for that moment, building up to her getting ready - a blast of sound as it rips the timeline to shreds.

chara’s soul is so fragmented, only exacerbated by being in a foreign timeline, that they can’t reset properly. i was thinking of styling the catastrophic glitch that resulted after an undertale corruption because those things scare the shit out of me and also can be fucking hilarious. love me some comedic horror.

chara and undyne would eventually figure out they had to leave the timeline and manually straighten it out. because it was knotted. it was wr. there was a wrinkle. in the timeline. a wrinkle in time. because the event is called. it’s c. a wrinkle in time

that’s where i was hazy on details - you can see just how much was made up as i went along. somehow, they’d be separated, and undyne would have left enough dt in chara’s soul that they’d be able to go down to the human village and yoink some souls from the mausoleum there. (i had worldbuilding stuff around that - the soul jars used in the underground are based off what humans use for burial in general. burying your body in a grave = having your soul stored in a mausoleum. there’d also be equivalents to cremation and such)

i hadn’t really thought much about that - the actual idea was that chara would find their old house and we’d get a flashback sequence about their backstory (eugh, glad i didn’t get around to that). and then, idk, the mausoleum would be empty or something? i didn’t think about what might happen if they were actually able to get all those souls. that is to say, i didn’t think about the story implications - i totally thought about chara becoming a cool shapeshifting rainbow beast because i’m like that.

THE ENDING

rest assured there was gonna be a happy ending. chara and frisk were gonna have a big cool battle bursting through various timelines where frisk tried to talk chara down and chara tried to kick frisk’s ass. at the end, frisk would’ve given up and let chara kill them. but chara wouldn’t have been able to. as viciously as they attacked, they could only do a single point of damage - they and frisk are both made of magic now, and magic works on emotion, and chara cannot truly hate frisk enough to end their life.

so they would’ve made up, broken the barrier in their original timeline together, and lived happily ever after with no more resets.

i remember daydreaming an animatic of the two of them trying to break the barrier, stumbling a few times and gradually achieving synchrony, to [this song].

you might notice i don’t mention flowey here. i was kind of struggling to figure out what to do with everyone else in regards to like, actual methods of character development. i had some ideas about chara bringing wrinkle-in-time flowey along with them on their adventures and him somehow getting his memories spliced with og-timeline flowey’s near the end but didn’t really think them through.

here’s a shittily-sketched old concept of what i might’ve done with him though:

not exactly my most beautiful work but it’s all you’re getting. it’s just visual notes, so i didn’t think it through much.

i daydreamed a lot about a cute ending animatic to [this song]. i don’t remember my thoughts well enough to summarise, but i hope you can come up with something cute yourselves!

aaand that’s all for this post. thanks for reading!

[the-desolated-quill]

Predator: Hunting Grounds - Video Game blog

No spoiler warning because... well... there’s nothing to spoil.

When Sony announced that we would be getting a Predator game, I was extremely excited. For those who don’t know, I’m a huge Predator fanboy. I love the movies, I grew up with the comics, I even liked that Alien Vs. Predator film from 2004 (AVPR and The Predator can go and fuck off though. What even was that shit?). Predator is just a great concept with loads of potential and it’s about time the big game hunter from outer space got the same love and attention as the Xenomorphs get. It’s tiring, you know? Watching all you Alien fans play the shit out of Alien: Isolation while I’m sat here going ‘Hey! Where’s my Predator game?’ So Predator: Hunting Grounds came as a fantastic surprise. And it was, at the time, announced as a Playstation exclusive, which was just even better as Sony have been knocking it out of the park recently with Horizon Zero Dawn, Spider-Man and the new God Of War.

Then things went silent on the whole Predator front until just over a month ago when the beta was released and people were largely disappointed by it due to numerous bugs and glitches and absurdly long wait times to get into matches. After that, the game was spat out onto Playstation Network with no buildup or fanfare whatsoever. I only knew it had come out because of a random YouTube video in my recommendations.

So I bought it and played it. What did I think? Honestly... it’s alright. It’s not terrible. I had fun with it, but it’s not exactly an amazing experience either. It’s just... okay.

Predator: Hunting Grounds is an asymmetrical multiplayer first person shooter developed by Illfonic Games, the guys behind that Friday The 13th game a few years back. Each match consists of five players. Four of them become members of a Fireteam called Voodoo (nice Predator 2 reference btw. Me like a lot) who have to complete a series of missions and evac successfully within fifteen minutes. The fifth player takes the role of the Predator, whose goal is to hunt down the Fireteam. The match ends when the Fireteam completes their objective and escapes via helicopter, the Predator kills them all, the Fireteam kills the Predator, or when the timer runs out. Simple.

The Fireteam plays like any other first person shooter pretty much. You pick a class, kill baddies, protect the flag, all that stuff. What makes the game more fun is the Predator. That’s by far I think the biggest compliment I can give to this game. It’s amazing how just changing one element can be enough to completely shake up a traditional formula. What starts out as a fairly mediocre play experience very quickly becomes unpredictable and genuinely terrifying when the Predator starts trying to hunt you. Normally your best bet is to stick together as a group because while the Predator is tough, it’s not indestructible and four squadmates can overpower it if they work together. However, in the heat of battle, it’s very easy to forget that and I’ve honestly lost count of the number times strategy went out the window as soon as the Predator showed up and we all just panicked and scattered.

When playing a match as the Fireteam, you have to choose whether to prioritise the mission objectives or take down the Predator. As I said, four players working together can overpower the Predator, but it’s easier said than done. The Predator is a bullet sponge, can move super fast and can leap really far. The point is you’re never safe, giving each match real tension. You can cover yourself in mud to hide yourself from the Predator’s heat vision, but it doesn’t work for long. A good Predator will always find you eventually and you end up becoming paranoid as a result, scanning the trees for flickers of light and reacting to every little noise. It’s genuinely unsettling.

Playing as the Predator however couldn’t be any different. The game here is played from a third person perspective and more emphasis is placed on speed and power. It’s like a cross between the Batman Arkham games and Assassin’s Creed. You’re swift and strong and you have access to all the Predator’s gadgets, including the cloaking device, the plasma caster and the net gun. You can even mimic the Fireteam’s voices, like in the movies, to trick them and lure them into a trap. The Predator is awesome to play as. You feel powerful playing as it, but remember you’re not unstoppable. You can’t charge in headfirst and hope for the best. You’ve got to be smart. Find ways of splitting the group up and pick them off one by one. Booby trap places where mission objectives will be. If you get wounded, you leave a trail of luminous green blood, which can lead the Fireteam right to you if you’re not careful. But if worst comes to the worst, you can activate your self destruct device in a last ditch effort to kill everyone.

The attention to detail is really cool with lots of Easter eggs and references to the movies. You unlock new weapons and skins by levelling up or by purchasing loot boxes using an in-game currency (don’t panic. There’s no microtransactions... yet). You can also customise your Fireteam and Predator characters, although your options are slightly limited. Also, one little nerdy criticism I have, you can play as a female Predator, but it’s the typical female body type you usually get in these games. You know, small waist, big boobs? Which sucks because a) Predators are reptiles, so them having breasts doesn’t make sense, and b) in the comics it’s established that female Predators are bigger, stronger and more aggressive than the males. So if anything, the male Predators should be the slim ones and the females should be the hulking bodybuilders. I mean I guess you can play as a female Berserker, but that’s not the point. I want to play as a muscular female alien monster goddammit, and Illfonic was too cowardly to commit. #FemPred #Womencanbeuglymotherfuckerstoo #Feminism

But in all seriousness, I think the customisation options best sum up the experience of playing Predator: Hunting Grounds. Cool, but limited. It’s fun playing as the Fireteam and the Predator, but after a while it does get really repetitive. While the Predator adds some much needed variety and unpredictability to the game, at the end of the day you are basically playing the exact same level over and over again. It also doesn’t help that the game only has three maps. Namely the jungle with temple ruins, the jungle with warehouses and the jungle with sewer pipes. Couldn’t they have expanded it to include other locations from the movies? How about Los Angeles from Predator 2 or Antarctica from AVP? I don’t know, just something other than a poxy jungle.

What’s worse is that the wait times between matches can be annoying. If you choose to play as Fireteam, the wait isn’t too bad. It’s usually between thirty seconds and two minutes. If you want to play as the Predator however, you have to wait between five and ten minutes to get into a match, if you’re lucky. The only way I got a chance to play as the Predator was in a private match. Maybe it would be better if the roles of players were randomly chosen rather than asking players what their preference is. Because obviously everyone wants to be the Predator, which means there’s going to be a long fucking queue. Or maybe they could expand the game so that you can have more than one Predator in a match. Maybe have a level where you have five Predators in an open world map competing to see who can get the most trophies before the time runs out. Maybe have that be an AVP event or something. There’s a lot of potential here, which is what makes it so frustrating. It’s not as if I hate the game or anything. It’s enjoyable to play. There just isn’t enough stuff to do.

Which brings me to my biggest complaint. The price. I paid £30 for this game. A game that consists of one level and three maps. For £40 you can buy the Deluxe Edition, which consists of one level, three maps and an exclusive Fireteam and Predator skin. I’m sorry but that’s just highway robbery. £40 for basically a beta game? What the actual fuck?!

Now apparently Illfonic’s last game, Friday The 13th, wasn’t very impressive at launch neither, but over time it was expanded with new content. Predator: Hunting Grounds looks like it’ll be going the same way. Illfonic have already announced a roadmap. This month we’ll be getting an Arnold Scharzenegger skin, which is nice and all... except it’s paid DLC. So I’ve already forked out £30 for not even a base game, it’s one level and three maps. And I’m now being expected to hand over more of my money in order to eventually get the complete game. Fuck off! This is basically EA’s Star Wars Battlefront reboot all over again.

Is Predator: Hunting Grounds a bad game? No. It’s a fun experience. If you’re a diehard Predator fan, you’re bound to get some enjoyment from this. However I cannot in good conscience recommend you pay full price for this game. There’s just not enough content to justify it at this time. My advice is wait until there’s a sale or when the game of the year edition comes out. For now, £30 for one level and three maps plus extra for DLC? No fucking way.

[readymades2002]

you: hey buzz whats u

me, not taking my eyes off my fiftieth goddamn conspiracy theory corkboard for even a fraction of a second: you know its really fucken funny how in season one episode thirteen of ta!ss! the band goes bankrupt because they designed a bunch of exploding dinner plates and it’s meant to be a comedic thing because boy oh boy mcbc back at it again with the terrible decisions but as time goes on this is proving to be not just a comedic Bit, but a fucking REALITY, in REAL LIFE, it’s been at least two and a half years since the season 1 album work started and still no sign of any new content, theyve announced tour dates, theyve thrown concerts, show screenings, everything in the universe has happened and there’s still 0 (zero) signs of ANY new album. what the fuck. what the fuck. instead of giving us that sweet SWEET full version of showtime that we (i) CRAVE so desperately they’re designing another goddamn beach towel, which don’t get me wrong i’m buying that too i only sustain myself on bats merchandise, but im DYING every day, things have only gone downhill for the world since this hiatus started, like, homestuck has fucking nothing on the goddamn aquabats super show. what happened to the pilot pitch with jack black in it. what the fuck. what are they HIDING. WHERE are they hiding, 

[candyredterezii]

valenwoke replied to your post “hi guys i finally saw the nightmare on elm street reboot i ranted and...”

Why were u mad?

OKAY LET ME GET INTO THIS AS BEST AS I CAN CUS IM SHIT AT EXPRESSING MY THOUGHTS

number one: wes craven wasn’t even asked about this film. they didnt tell him shit they just fucking went and made the movie with his character and his idea and was like byyyyyee which tbf the entire franchise rlly was wes having his like. child taken away from him and bastardized, only being able to reclaim it’s legacy in New Nightmare.

next, lets get into the character.

Freddy Krueger.

We all know Freddy as this really campy and jokey character. He’s a beloved slasher. He was funny and silly and his kills were creative and had funny one liners - robert englund brought to life this character and is one of the big reasons he was so beloved. He was a child murderer, yes, but a big thing along with it is we never actually saw him murder a child in the entire series. There was sexual undertones in subtext, and it was originally he was supposed to be a child predator as well, but they threw it out due to a real life scandal happening at the time and played it more subtext

Now. In the remake when they say they ham up the child predator shit they really, really do and it is NOT fucking pleasant at ALL.

But we will get more into that later.

Freddy in the remake, along with the entire thing tbh, is gritty. Edgy. Dark. He makes one liners and REPEATS OLD JOKES FROM THE SERIES, which throughout was liek. Haha that was in Nightmare (X), wish i was watching that one right now. His jokes were just. Flat. It wasn’t jokes it just made you kinda. Yikes. They weren’t delivered with the mirth and excitement like with Robert Englund.  His makeup made him look like a fish. He was absolutely disgusting. Making gross sexual assaults on Nancy on one point, granted nothing exactly major but enough to make ur skin crawl.

He was played to be just. Revolting.

Which isn’t a bad thing to do for a character - but not to one that has been well loved and rather like a ‘fun wacky uncle’ kinda guy. Not one with an existing legacy to be a wise cracker looney tunes kinda killer.

But let’s get more into the child predator aspect of it because holy fucking shit.

They literally show flashback scenes in the movie of Freddy playing with the kids and it was all like. Cute and sweet if you didn’t know context but seeing him interact with these kids is like. Revolting and makes your stomach churn. Especially them showing the little girl with her back scratched and a five year old nancy crying to her mom how “he takes us to his special cave” and burst into tears because she was fucking defiled constantly. 

Speaking of his special cave. Nancy and Quentin find it. And guess what they find? A bunch of photos of a naked five year old Nancy that Nancy sees and fucking has a break down over it because holy shit that’s fucking disgusting and heavy.

The movie is heavy. Very heavy and makes your stomach sick - and not in a like. Saw movie torture porn kinda way where you are like HAHA SIIICK. But in a fucking crushing reality and just makes you, the viewer, even feel utterly vile as you are watching this character be vulnerable and go through repressed trauma.

The whole movie deals with also Nancy and Quentin and the others apparently having repressed these memories and the parents trying to hide it by hiding their preschool photos and other things from their childhood.

It’s just utterly sickening and makes your skin crawl. Especially as much of Freddy goes after Nancy and speaks so vile to her about how she was his favorite, how beautiful the girl characters still are and how ‘grown up’ they are and just being a fucking creep.

Now that the story is pretty much fucking just. A fucking heap let’s get into the actual movie elements.

The one thing in the original Nightmares I absolutely LOVED was how dream like the dreams were. How they had this kinda dream like quality - it was whimsical! It was creepy and unsettling but also? Really fun? It was CREATIVE.  The deaths were fun and imaginative! The crew had so much fun coming up and creating these kinda deaths that you rlly couldnt get away with in normal stories cus its a DREAM where anything can happen.

Now in this movie? It was just. Oh. We’re in a creepy classroom. Oh looks like we are in silent fucking hill and then one flash of lights AA we are i nthe boiler room oh nooo. Oh nooo u got slashed by freddy and now you’re dead. Okay. Cool.

IT WAS BORING It was gritty dark and jsut snooze. it didnt even give any tension it was just. oh ur trying to be scary and thats it. ok.

Now this movie is also a reboot, meaning it’s a fresh start to the series. So someone who  hasn’t watched the original series should come in without having to watch the other films, right? Wrong. Now in the original movie, we followed the character Tina as a red herring to be the main character. The same thing happens in this movie, we do not follow Nancy (the one character whose name they kept. Which meaning if you have seen the original films, you know Kris is the Tina character and this twist is not gonna work on the previous fans who a MAJORITY IF NOT ALL this movie’s audience was. Even if you haven’t seen the first Nightmare most people know Nancy is the main heroine. I digress.) So we haven’t followed Nancy. At all. We see her once telling Kris she also saw something in her dreams and thats it.

Next we see her is when she comes to see Quentin. Sits down and just says, “Freddy” Where did she get this info? How is the audience supposed to know who tf that is or why or how or just. WHAT???

Okay. WHATEVER.

This movie also plays a lot on old gags, jokes, and visuals from the first movie as like. A homage. But they’re done.. So poorly. It just makes me go, “haha i remember that. wish I was watching that nightmare instead of this one.”

There’s also small plot elements that made me go ??? what. why?? like for example the mother of Kris apparently having kept one of her daughter’s dresses that was slashed when she was ASSAULTED AND DEFILED BY A MAN in a box upstairs with her preschool photos?? Like. Okay.

There is NO CHARM in this movie. No love. No passion. It’s just gritty and dark and just makes the audience feel utterly vile and absolutely tears apart the legacy of Freddy and NOES and everything Robert has done to the character. It has taken Wes’ original idea and story and just said Hey. What if we take this and just make it dark and edgier and SCARY OOOO. And then they tossed it in the trash compactor. 

I feel I’m missing even quite a fucking lot of shit too but. 

I fucking hate this movie so much dude.

[geek-gem]

You know....I’m concerned this might be a heated post or just a weird/bad one.

I like the DCEU. But I’ll admit I can understand the criticisms the franchise has gotten. Because I shouldn’t brush off any reasonable criticisms the films get. 

Yet....you know....I just wanna admit this. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone called Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice an, “evil” movie until now......

So fuck it I’ll share his DeviantArt username instead. Sorry if I seem like a jerk. Guy goes by the name of oODark-DawnOo and I’ve and I’ve seen YouTube comments of his years ago on YouTube and DeviantArt where he would basically harshly defend the MCU and gave his opinion on the DCEU......

To be honest I wanna admit this. I’m saddened to say I think it was in 2016 or so I told him on DeviantArt I liked how he didn’t gave of fuck of letting his opinion be known and him admitting he’s defending a franchise he grew up liking......

Okay to be honest and I’m worried of seeming like a jerk. From what I’ve seen he has reasonable criticisms against the DCEU. I don’t wanna send this guy hate yet I wanted to speak my mind about this.

But I for one can not agree that Batman V Superman is an, “evil” movie and that’s just utterly fucking stupid. 

You can complain about the fact the, “Death Of Superman” was used way too early, and whatever else. But the whole message and theme of BVS with Bruce learning there are still good men out there. It’s just this comment I’ve seen on below something called, “Let’s Talk: The 7 Years of the DCEU” and just.....I’ll admit this again. At first I was mixed on the DCEU but if I recall I didn’t talk much about it or bothered folks about it. 

I’m glad I’m a fan now, including more as a Batman and Superman fan. Decided to exit DeviantArt just now and just.....as of now it’s bullshit seeing the harshness DC fans especially DCEU fans get.

While I’m not on the other side that has criticisms. I’m sorry reading some of Dark’s comments made me think fuck it, just cancel the DCEU if people are gonna keep bitching. But that’s not gonna fix anything. It sucks we are in this direction that Warner Bros fucked up Warner Bros and not many people liked Zack’s vision for the DCEU. 

I just wanna say I’m strangely fucking grateful Joker 2019 exists because over time it has show a lot of the unfairness the DCEU fandom gets from people. Especially the bias in some media. 

Terribly sorry I wanted to talk about this. I just found the idea of BVS being an, “evil” so fucking stupid and ridiculous I’m sorry.....if you want a real evil movie or movies. I’m gonna recommend a lot of Uwe Boll’s movies considered what I’ve seen and read about his films. Or my personal opinion, The Predator 2018, a film so God awful that I’d rather see a reboot instead of a sequel. A film that literally destroyed a franchise I love.

Sorry to ramble on, just again I wanted to talk about this. Hope you guys don't mind this in the DCEU Positivity tag because I’m defending BVS in here.

[carnival-phantasm]

My 2018 Tumblr Top 10

1). 210.664 notes - 01 July 2018

Every apex predator, looking at a capybara chilling: "...nah, I can't eat this dude, that would be fucked up"

2). 132.067 notes - 05 December 2018

3). 93.412 notes - 31 May 2018

The Powerpuff Girls reboot is so bad that Ace from the Gangreen Gang straight up dropped out to join Gorillaz

4). 86.673 notes - 18 June 2018

Y'all better be going to bed at a reasonable time, don’t make me tuck you in and kiss you goodnight

5). 69.304 notes - 24 February 2018

Here’s a video because no amount of screencaps could do this justice

6). 50.710 notes - 15 February 2018

I always knew about the ariranhas (giant otters) that inhabit the pantanal and amazonian rivers, and that they are bigger than...

7). 49.580 notes - 27 December 2018

i hate the meme that nook is evil and greedy sm. he canonically donates 90% of the proceeds from his businese to an orphanage.

8). 42.374 notes - 22 August 2018

9). 41.307 notes - 17 October 2018

Could you fill me in on the whole grape-kun thing?

10). 35.464 notes - 17 February 2018

Created by TumblrTop10

[headlesssamurai]

Has everyone asked you about Jupiter Ascending?

@godzillaapproved

Yo, I ought to apologize to you for taking hella long to properly respond to this. It’s holiday season over thisaway, sure, but I ain’t nearly vain enough to assume just anybody gets why that can suck up a dude’s time. Reckon I’m sure there’s tons of national celebrations all over the world I’d never know about otherwise. Bah, I say! Going out and socializing is one of the few things more overrated than all those shitty Apple products. But yeh, in my case it was less the celebratory spirit of holiday festivities and more a sudden spike in workload, so my mental energy was roughed up by that, plus I was doing a new workout at the same time. Thus, whatever free time I had left was spent obsessively hammering away at the Steam sale items I’d recently bought. It’s like a coping mechanism. Well, that and cheap wine anyhow.

Regardless, regardless—holy shit what an obnoxious fucking way for me to open this up—this Ask of yours came at an unusually coincidental time. A friend and I have been meeting up every weekend to watch like semi-recent crappy movies just as a way to enjoy a bad drink and a good laugh. She likes to laugh, and I like to drink, so it works out. After working our way through every Transformers film by Michael Bay, then Cameron’s Avatar, Terminator: Genisys, The Amazing Spider-mans, Spielberg’s Crystal Skull, Ready Player One, and some of the more abysmal DC films, our last escapade into nonsense was the estimably hilarious Gods of Egypt, which reminded me of one of those excremental quicktime-event video games. You know, like Detroit Becomes Human or some shit like that (Oh wait, is it Detroit Coming of the Humans? Meh).

As luck would have it, like, the day before you asked me about it, the next film at which I suggested we take a crack was the Wachowskis’ own Jupiter Ascending, which my friend had not seen at that time. Nor had I, since first viewing it in theaters.

>>SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU CARE ENOUGH TO, UH… YOU KNOW, CARE

I was intrigued to give this movie another go. It’s struck me that I’ve got an odd streak of pleasantly enjoying movies a lot of people can’t seem to stand, or which some people even hate with utter vileness on the verge of hunting down the producers with a roll of duct tape, power tools, jugs of petrol, and a matchbook. I’ve enjoyed, for instance, Hardcore Henry, Elysium, and Joseph Kosinski’s Oblivion, all of which not one person I know in real life could offer a single word of kindness. After my first viewing of Jupiter Ascending, I was left to consider whether or not it was the sort of movie I should enjoy and allow others to hate and disparage, or if it just wasn’t that good. I recalled leaving the theater with a sort of “Hm” sound, and not much else. But given my history with rooting for an underdog, was I wrong? Is this movie actually good, or cool in some way? I couldn’t defy the sensation that I’d missed something.

The answer, it seems, is more complex than a simple yes or no. Then again, as Mason and Goat Han Solo often remind us, “there’s no nuance on the internet”, so even my assertion there about complexity may be in gross error.

For the unfamiliar, Jupiter Ascending is a science fiction tale with vibes of less-cliché aesthetic choices for its visuals, some cool references to UFO conspiracy theories, and aims at a more expansive universe that would no doubt have been further explored in sequels had this film been better received by audiences and critics. I’ll say outright, it’s a disappointment to me that we weren’t given the chance to see more films in this mythology, because there’s some really cool stuff going on in this weird, imaginative universe. The story centers upon the character of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), an average working-class young woman in Chicago who is shocked to discover not only that aliens exist but that she happens to be the reincarnation of a galaxy owning empress, which entitles Jupiter to ownership of a large portion of the cosmos, the least part of which is Earth itself. But as the Aussies say, something’s a bit suss about the whole affair, and the wondrous glamour of this technologically advanced universe is concurrently party to a dark truth.

An immediately intriguing element of Jupiter Ascending is its attempt to set-up something which, while perhaps greatly inspired by a few other fictional works, is an original property, not a sequel, reboot, adaptation of an existing work, nor a spiritual successor to something else. Rather than merely being intrigued by this fact, I also respect it, because high-concept science fiction films aren’t something a studio likes to go for unless they have a preexisting audience, like adaptations of a book series or something. So it’s always bold when someone can cobble together the resources to really take a chance on something like this, even if it isn’t well received. After all that’s how films like The Matrix, The Terminator, Ridley Scott’s Alien, George Lucas’ Star Wars, and John McTiernan’s Predator come to be in the first place. Another example, I didn’t quite enjoy The Last Witch Hunter, but I recall respecting that film’s risk in its attempt at a new property for similar reasons.

Irrespective of your own personal tastes as a moviegoer and consumer of science fiction, it can’t be denied that the Wachowski’s are measurably talented filmmakers. Their doubtless skill at framing shots, blending effects with reality to present an integrated experience, and choreographing action sequences with such lethal precision it’s always incredible to watch; all of these things can’t be argued, and this attentiveness for the craft is all very present in Jupiter Ascending. Toward the beginning of the movie, there’s an aerial chase sequence that promptly accelerates into one of the most engaging, gripping action sequences in memory, heavily fantastical sci-fi elements intermixed with almost Fast and the Furious levels of insanity. The sense of gripping speed alone as two characters cling to the outer hull of a spacecraft was helplessly intense and left me quite keen to see what else the movie had to offer further down the line.

Additionally we have some awesome art design and stylistic choices regarding the look of this sci-fi universe, both the appearance of aliens and the design of their technology was familiar and unique at the same time. There are beings referred to as “Splices” which are intermixes of humans and various animals, giving some people bestial characteristics which are just weird enough to be cool to me without verging over the edge into absurd territory. There are cybernetic enhancements, gravity boots, phalanx style energy shields, neural synthetic wings, motherfucking jet-bikes of course and, though I never would have dreamed, motherfucking lizardmen! That blew me away, dude. Others may think it’s stupid, but lizardmen are one of my favorite sci-fi/fantasy creatures of all time, and they look so badass in this movie it was unbelievably awesome to realize I was actually seeing a proper lizardfolk on screen. With lizardmen and jet-bikes, Jupiter Ascending quickly marks two-out-of-five on my Generally Awesome Things I Like To See In Science Fiction list. It’s a real list, in my head, I swear.

The starship designs were inspired by art deco architecture in cities like Chicago, lending Jupiter’s cosmos a feeling more of Herbert’s Dune-iverse than something like Star Trek, which I appreciated since we don’t see that type of style quite as much. Top all that off with a fantastic score from Michael Giacchino and you’ve got some great tools to tell an awesome story.

So the thing is, it’s not just skin deep either, while the film does lean heavily on its visuals and action set-pieces, this is a genuinely interesting universe. Michael Bay’s Transformers, for instance, also has cool visuals, some passable action scenes, and dazzling special effects, but is it interesting? The answer is no. Because Bay’s movies, while briefly entertaining, are ultimately hollow. There aren’t any subdermal layers beneath the facade of spectacle. But in Jupiter Aescending there’s clearly something else going on, the touch of true filmmakers for one, yet also the potential for so much more. The groundwork, the craftsmanship and attentiveness is all here. It’s really what they choose to do, or not do, with that potential which ends up disappointing. Not, as in the case of Bay’s movies, the utter lack of potential for greatness from the start.

Though some fandom-card carrying ideologues may acerbically disagree, an acceptably comparable film whose potential for greatness was also mostly wasted for middle-of-the-road mediocrity is the recent Solo: A Star Wars Story, by Disney Interactive– I mean, by Disney behind the appropriated guise of Lucasfilm. Whatever else you think of that film, and while I agree from a mythological standpoint its very existence was in extremely poor taste, the talent, the production value, the mark of the craft was there. None of this was, however, capitalized upon to create anything truly profound. Jupiter Ascending’s unfortunate drawbacks are of a similar form.

I’d like to state emphatically however, I’m not trying to punish the film nor act as its apologist. Reckon I always end up saying this, but I am really just some dude. Sure, I read a lot of books and stuff, but that doesn’t appoint me some grand authority on the subject of fiction. These thoughts I try to convey in my write-ups are meant merely as opinions, framed in the form of investigating the quality of a film or game or whatever. To that end, I’m compelled to side with most folks in that, whatever else its got going for it, there’s some major deficiency holding back Jupiter Ascending from rising to a higher form of entertainment. So if the production values are high, where’s the casus belli all the angry critics are seeing here?

To puzzle that out, we ought first to determine by what criterion a truly good story is shaped. In that regard it’s likely the wisest to begin by reckoning what sort of story we’re dealing with here. Most people are wont to jump straight to the whole Hero’s Journey every dickhead YouTube reviewer read about in some sparknotes book while using the shitter at Barnes & Noble. But Joseph Campbell’s mimetic architecture isn’t the only sort of story that exists, not even in science fiction. Consider, for instance, anything written by H.P. Lovecraft, Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain, Kubrick and Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, Jonathan Glazer’s Under The Skin, Philip K. Dick’s various works, Andrei Tarkovsky’s Stalker, Stanisław Lem’s Solaris, Alex Garland’s Ex Machina, or Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar. These stories, while very sci-fi in their scope and measure, are far more introspective, and very contemplative when contrasted against fiction of the more traditional heroic adventure genre. Hell, even Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers while appearing a mindless war movie on its surface is fundamentally a cautionary allegory. While conquering adversity is certainly a theme of its own within each of these stories, the breadth of that adversity’s effect on the narrative varies wildly, as well as the nature of adversity each character must face. Other heavier components, like displacement, post-humanism, philosophical allegory, are also usually present in such stories.

All of this likely seems a bit excessive to point out, but I promise it’ll get relevant later. But, uh… yeh. The next time some liberal arts asshat tries to tell you there’s only one real way a story can go, you can be safely justified in telling them to get bent. I mean read, yeh, tell them to read more shit, and watch more movies. That’d probably be more productive. But also tell them to get bent, the fuckers.

There can also, however, be stories that blend styles. The 2004 rebrand of Battlestar Galactica incorporates several philosophical elements, self-reflective, and meditative thematic ideas into its narrative of what would otherwise be a fairly standard science fiction conflict in outer space. The Wachowskis’ own The Matrix is a perfect example of a classic hero’s journey which also incorporates introspective themes into its lore, plot, and mythology, wherein the internal conflict of the protagonist is just as important as whatever external adversity he is meant to overcome. Where Battlestar Galactica 2004 uses its thematic material to craft a sci-fi adventure story, The Matrix uses a sci-fi adventure story to explore its thematic material. Seen in that light, I think the Wachowskis wanted Jupiter Ascending to have similar weight to its narrative, but they ended up recycling a sort of “human harvest” idea already seen in The Matrix (and arguably done in a more engaging way).

Jupiter Jones herself is a catalyst for an inter-familial conflict within a wealthy interstellar hierarchy. Though alien races do exist, the most dangerous aliens happen to be humans themselves, extraterrestrial humans of course. In Jupiter’s universe, it turns out that the wealthy and powerful have the ability to live forever (an idea also explored in the Neftlix adaptation Altered Carbon), but only by seeding countless worlds with humans, then harvesting these humans like crops and breaking these millions of people down into a sort of primordial youth serum by which the lives of the affluent may be extended.

Advanced genetics in Jupiter’s universe are the highest form of technology, and it is stated in all the cosmos the most sought-after resource is time. This is the reason these advanced humans out among the stars are able to splice human and animal genes, essentially creating entirely new races, and the reason why Jupiter herself is seen as a reincarnation of a woman who once owned countless stars and planets. Genes, to the wealthy and powerful, have a near spiritual significance. Jupiter is referred to as a Recurrence, a person who is long dead but whose gene-print inconceivably reappears in someone who is born centuries or even millennia later. This is seen as a near miracle, and thus is recognized by interstellar law as a legitimate reincarnation, giving this new person the same rights and privileges, and inheriting all the property previously held by the deceased person whose gene print they share.

And that’s where the conflict comes up. Jupiter is sought out by three siblings of the Abrasax family, one of the most elite and powerful families in the universe, of which she is the reincarnation of their mother and thus entitled to re-inherit all of their resources and capital which they currently control. The kids are Kalique (Tuppence Middleton), the well-to-do, but compassionate one, Titus (Douglas Booth), the more two-faced of the three who acts innocent but is clever as a viper, and Balem (Eddie Redmayne), the stereotypical villain of the piece who seems to have nervous ticks and an inability to raise his voice above a certain octave except in times of extreme stress. Of course, since Jupiter’s now meant to control everything they currently own, none of the three Abrasax kids can be fully trusted. Jupiter doesn’t have to face these three one-percenters alone however. She is accompanied by Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) an ex-soldier and wolf-splice, known as a Lycantant, who is hired by Titus to safely retrieve Jupiter from Earth before his siblings can get to her. Caine’s former commanding officer, a bee-splice known as Stinger (Sean Bean) also appears from time to time, as well as officers of the Aegis, an interstellar law enforcement agency.

If you are having a hard time following the characters here, it’s probably because there just isn’t much to any of the characters other than what I’ve already written about them. And therein lies the primary flaw with this film. The characters aren’t interesting, and the greater tragedy is that the characters are written to be uninteresting. Where a ton of care and attention went into crafting the look, feel and depth of the wider universe acting as the story’s setting, the characters within this story are criminally underwritten.

Earlier, I went to great lengths to illustrate the wealth of variety throughout genres of science fiction, just how many different types of stories we might get within this narrative framework. The purpose of explaining all of that to such a degree was meant to show you that not everything has to follow the same narrative flow. Sometimes stories can be more abstract, less character driven, less action heavy. In that regard, a story exemplar like Blade Runner doesn’t really need to have strongly written characters because the interpersonal aspects of its journey are less important than its atmospheric setting and stylistic momentum. The gravitas comes from a different place than in stories which are more character driven.

However, if a story does want to give us something more conventional, then it’s extremely important that the characters are strongly defined, well established and, even if not likable, at the very least interesting. Though a bit out of this wheelhouse, Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is notorious for featuring a dramatis personae of terribly vain, horrible sociopaths, but many of these characters are still written in a way that makes them interesting. Jupiter Ascending fashions itself as an epic space opera, a stylized adventure journey which goes from scrubbing toilets in Irving Park to rocketing through a wider spectacular galaxy. Within that story structure, the characters need to be given their proper attention, especially the protagonist. Only, this is not the case with this movie. In fact in Jupiter Ascending, the characters almost appear as afterthoughts, which is most unfortunate.

Despite being the protagonist’s love interest, Caine seems to have been given the most depth, as a literal lone-wolf personality, an orphan of a sort, a former soldier disgraced for an act of savagery, who longs to regain his military status as a Skyjacker, and was sprung from a prison called Deadland to rescue Jupiter from the clutches of filthy rich egomaniacs, a class of people he seems to utterly despise. Yet even Caine’s various portions of characterization are never fully explored, and he mostly serves as a vehicle to come dashing in and pluck Jupiter out of trouble over and over again. Secondary characters, other than Stinger (more on him later), are hardly there other than to function as a taxi service or exposition dump where appropriate, which is a shame since some of them have a great look but nothing else going on in the writing department to make them memorable. The Abrasax siblings are basically three different flavors of the same smug Soylent privilege, though Kalique seems to exist only to explain things for the benefit of the audience, and Balem seems to be accidentally memorable thanks to Eddie Redmayne’s unusual performance. Titus has some cool psychotic vibes with his underhanded motivations, slippery silver tongued bastard that he is, but even his role as the trickster doesn’t get its due in the end.

Stinger, Caine’s former commanding officer who is now an Aegis Marshal, is also written slightly deeper than even the Abrasax siblings. He took the fall for Caine’s misstep in the military, so he also lost his wings and was disgraced for it. Despite this, he is willing to help Caine and Jupiter throughout the story, and though begrudged he seems genuinely good at heart. Stinger’s point of interest however comes from his traits as a Splice between human and bee DNA. Yes, this leads to a funny line of dialogue, but there are some great examples of show-don’t-tell with Stinger, in that having bee instincts he seems superhumanly able to anticipate motion and react to it ridiculously quickly compared to most people. This ability gives him an edge in everything from fistfights to navigating massive fields of hunter-killer mines. This is hardly important to the plot, but I thought it was cool since it’s never stated outright, just displayed through his actions. Another example of a great idea that’s mostly left adrift.

Jupiter herself starts out as a typical protagonist for a Hero’s Journey. She’s a Jewish Russian immigrant who leads an unglamorous life cleaning bathrooms and tidying fancy homes for her family’s housekeeping service, apparently has bad luck with romance, and hardly ever has time to really do anything she enjoys. Typically, once these elements are presented, there will also be a revelation of something more intimate about the protagonist, her dreams and ambitions, something she longs to one day achieve, her hobbies or personality, perhaps a personal drawback or fear she wishes to overcome. But the most we get about Jupiter is that she wants to buy back a telescope which was once stolen from her astronomer father by the same thieves who murdered him (which we see early in the movie in an awkwardly directed scene). It’s not made clear if Jupiter herself has a genuine interest in astronomy, nor even what any of her interests happen to be.

This becomes a recurring problem throughout the film. Since no real internal conflict or personality of any kind is established for Jupiter, she isn’t led through any personal journey or self-exploration, nor anything which allows her to grow or evolve as the narrative opens up and accelerates. She’s basically just along for the ride, one of those wrong place wrong time sort of things. Her journey is entirely surface level, external forces dragging her around the stars without her having any real say in the matter nor agency of her own. She as very little idea of what she wants or who she is, from what we can tell, because we have no idea of those things either. Mila Kunis does a fine job with the material she’s given, but the material just isn’t much to run with, and if there is a drawback to her performance as an actress I promise in this case the fault is not with her.

The terrible lack of characterization hurts everything in the movie from its ethical conceits, plot momentum, all the way up to the romance subplot which only feels forced and lacking chemistry because the two leads aren’t properly written. They could have had chemistry, but its difficult for archetypes to interact without endowing them with personality. It’s a fundamental flaw from which all other flaws of the film stem because the personality, the character of the protagonist in this type of story is a fundamental element from which many other elements of the story stem.

Even towards the end, when Jupiter is forced into dangerous heroics and aggressive bravery it doesn’t feel like much of anything because for all we know she was brave all along, or maybe she wasn’t. We’re never given the chance to find out. Her larger moment of heroism comes not in a violent action of conquering the badguy (though she does beat him with a pipe later... in self-defense of course), but in refusing to compromise to Balem’s ultimatum, either resign her ownership of Earth or allow Balem to murder her family. It’s interesting to note that instead of rocking up and blowing his head off with a blaster, she just tells him to get fucked, which is a cool idea, non-violent protagonists are few and far between. Though the climax would have been far more satisfying had we gotten to know Jupiter much better before she gets to this point. Ultimately, the lack of strong characters make the progression of the movie feel awkward, and the denouement seems to come out of nowhere. It’s really too bad, since many facets of this film’s setup seemed to bear promise, and it’s more tragic than infuriating, leaving an audience with a countenance more in sorrow than in anger.

Like Jupiter herself, thematic elements are also only half-explored. The idea that genetics have advanced to such a point that life-regeneration has become a reality within this star-spanning civilization (albeit a reality exclusively available to the filthy, insanely wealthy) is an interesting idea, and there’s a lot of potential for the ethical quandaries related to that sort of technology, and what makes it possible. Yet little of this is given attention beyond the horror of Jupiter discovering the Abrasax family regularly kills billions of people for longevity and profit. Is their life-extending operation the only one out there? Or is it an industry? Are there black market dealers who develop and trade their own youth serum off the books? It’s all kind of muddy and little of it is given any explanation or nuance.

As we’ve established, Campbell’s hero’s journey isn’t the only way to go about a sci-fi story, but in Jupiter Ascending it’s like half-started without any of the follow-through, and the characters which should be the heart of the story are greatly lacking any depth. The film’s been compared to a Disney-style princess story, and even references Cinderella at one point, though it does seem to be aiming higher than this. Yet, the lackluster character writing and flat dialogue all make the story somewhat impotent, whatever its aim, leaving the movie looking like a majestically beautiful gild-feathered eagle, which just happens to be blind. Fun to look at, but has absolutely no idea where it’s going. I can’t articulate enough what a shame this all is, since there really are some cool ideas and sci-fi content here. I truly wish, as a sci-fi enthusiast, that Jupiter was truly able to ascend.

I’d recommend it as a fun romp through an intriguing galaxy, but it’s more useful as an example of how to get everything right with a movie, everything other than the thing that really holds it all together: a well-written protagonist. Still, I’m no intersectionalist, but it’s nice to see the girl get the guy at the end of the story, the way guy protagonists get to get the girl at the end of all their stories. That was a pleasant feeling, even if it wasn’t quite earned with everything come before it. Plus, you know; lizardmen, and jet-bikes. The Wachowskis are generally great at what they do though, just maybe have a tough time channeling it. Here’s hoping they can get back to us with something truly badass in future because the level of commitment to the craft seen in this movie is extraordinary, even if the reach exceeds the grasp in this particular case. 

                     侍    headless                                     

[laniakeabooks]

March Wrap-Up

I read books 17 books in March! I did post a few individual reviews and have tagged them here in case you’re interested.

Gemina by Amy Kaufman and Jay Kristoff - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Moving to a space station at the edge of the galaxy was always going to be the death of Hanna’s social life. Nobody said it might actually get her killed

The sci-fi saga that began with the breakout bestseller Illuminae continues on board the Jump Station Heimdall, where two new characters will confront the next wave of the BeiTech assault.

Hanna is the station captain’s pampered daughter; Nik the reluctant member of a notorious crime family. But while the pair are struggling with the realities of life aboard the galaxy’s most boring space station, little do they know that Kady Grant and the Hypatia are headed right toward Heimdall, carrying news of the Kerenza invasion.

When an elite BeiTech strike team invades the station, Hanna and Nik are thrown together to defend their home. But alien predators are picking off the station residents one by one, and a malfunction in the station’s wormhole means the space-time continuum might be ripped in two before dinner. Soon Hanna and Nik aren’t just fighting for their own survival; the fate of everyone on the Hypatia—and possibly the known universe—is in their hands.

But relax. They’ve totally got this. They hope.

I just have so much love for this series. When I finally get to Obsidio and finish it (still waiting for the paperback), I’ll write a whole series review!

 Asteria: Into the Fray by Adrienne Enfinger - ⭐⭐

It's not every day that your suicide attempt is interrupted by a handsome archangel. But then, nothing remains ordinary for long on the day Asteria meets Micah for the first time.

Talking her down from the ledge, Micah reveals to Asteria that she is no ordinary young woman. She is the descendant of nephilim - part angel, part human - and her parents did not die in a car crash, they were killed by the fallen angel, Azazel, in the eternal battle of good versus evil.

Asteria finds herself thrust into the middle of that war and discovers that she is part of a prophecy that can finally bring about its end - if Azazel does not kill her first.

She soon joins forces with angels, good and bad, in an epic battle that could save mankind...

...or bring about its demise

Not great… it definitely read like a fanfiction of Supernatural and the quality of writing was… ehhhhhh it was weird like Enfinger was trying too hard.

 Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Moral allegory and spiritual autobiography, The Little Prince is the most translated book in the French language. With a timeless charm it tells the story of a little boy who leaves the safety of his own tiny planet to travel the universe, learning the vagaries of adult behaviour through a series of extraordinary encounters. His personal odyssey culminates in a voyage to Earth and further adventures.

Full review soon to follow!

 Little Pills by Melody Dodds - ⭐⭐⭐

Seventeen-year-old Charlotte Navarro never asked to be anyone's hero. If you're a hero, your sister isn't supposed to hate you. And you're definitely not supposed to get hooked on Gramma's painkillers. Even so, Charlotte's sister's friend Mia looks at her like she's some sort of hero. As Charlotte starts taking pills more and more, she has to question how it could hurt herself and others, even Mia. Is it a harmless habit or a dangerous addiction?

Review here! Publication – 2nd April 2019

 You Do You by Sarah Knight - ⭐⭐⭐

Being yourself should be easy, yet too many of us struggle to live on other people's terms instead of our own. Rather than feeling large and in charge, we feel little and belittled.

Sound familiar? Bestselling "anti-guru" Sarah Knight has three simple words for you:

YOU DO YOU.

It's time to start putting your happiness first--and stop letting other people tell you what to do, how to do it, or why it can't be done. And don't panic! You can do it without losing friends and alienating people. Knight delivers her trademark no-bullsh*t advice about:

The Tyranny of "Just Because"

The social contract and how to amend it

Turning "flaws" into strengths--aka "mental redecorating"

Why it's not your job to be nice

Letting your freak flag fly

How to take risks, silence the doubters, and prove the haters wrong

Review

 Beauty Queens by Libba Bray - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras.

But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner.

What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?

Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness.

BWAHAHAHAHA THIS IS JUST MY TYPE OF HUMOUR!! Granted, my humour is a… specific brand so just beware going into this.

The Center of the Universe by Ria Voros - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

  Grace Carter's mother --- the celebrity news anchor GG Carter --- is everything Grace is not. GG is a star, with a flawless wardrobe and a following of thousands, while Grace --- an aspiring astrophysicist --- is into stars of another kind. She and her mother have always been in different orbits. Then one day GG is just ... gone. Cameras descend on their house, news shows speculate about what might have happened and Grace's family struggles to find a new rhythm as they wait for answers. While the authorities unravel the mystery behind GG's disappearance, Grace grows closer to her high school's golden boy, Mylo, who has faced a black hole of his own. She also uncovers some secrets from her mother's long-lost past. The more Grace learns, the more she wonders. Did she ever really know her mother? Was GG abducted ... or did she leave? And if she left, why?

Review here! Publication – April 2nd 2019

 ReWired by S. R. Johannes -  ⭐

Sixteen-year-old Ada Lovelace is never more alive and sure of herself than when she's hacking into a "secure" network as her alter ego, the Dark Angel. In the real world, Ada is broken, reeling from her best friend Simone's recent suicide. But online, the reclusive daughter of Senator Lovelace (champion of the new Online Privacy Bill) is a daring white hat hacker and the only female member of the Orwellians, an elite group responsible for a string of high-profile hacks against major corporations, with a mission to protect the little guy. Ada is swiftly proving she's a force to be reckoned with, when a fellow Orwellian betrays her to the FBI. To protect her father's career, Ada is sent to ReBoot, a technology rehab facility for teens...the same rehab Simone attended right before killing herself.

It's bad enough that the ReBoot facility is creepy in an Overlook-Hotel-meets-Winchester-Mansion way, but when Ada realizes Simone's suicide is just one in an increasingly suspicious string of "accidental" deaths and "suicides" occurring just after kids leave ReBoot, Ada knows she can't leave without figuring out what really happened to her best friend. The massive cyber conspiracy she uncovers will threaten everything she cares about--her dad's career, her new relationship with a wry, handsome, reformed hacker who gets under her skin, and most of all--the version of herself Ada likes best--the Dark Angel.

Uh yeah here’s my rant review. I just... yeah if you want to know what I thought just read the review I can’t be bothered to reiterate.

Zenith by Linday Cummings and Sasha Alsberg - ⭐⭐⭐

Most know Androma Racella as the Bloody Baroness, a powerful mercenary whose reign of terror stretches across the Mirabel Galaxy. To those aboard her glass starship, Marauder, however, she's just Andi, their friend and fearless leader.

But when a routine mission goes awry, the Marauder's all-girl crew is tested as they find themselves in a treacherous situation and at the mercy of a sadistic bounty hunter from Andi's past.

Meanwhile, across the galaxy, a ruthless ruler waits in the shadows of the planet Xen Ptera, biding her time to exact revenge for the destruction of her people. The pieces of her deadly plan are about to fall into place, unleashing a plot that will tear Mirabel in two.

Andi and her crew embark on a dangerous, soul-testing journey that could restore order to their shipor just as easily start a war that will devour worlds. As the Marauder hurtles toward the unknown, and Mirabel hangs in the balance, the only certainty is that in a galaxy run on lies and illusion, no one can be trusted.

You know what, not as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, it wasn’t anything special and I’m not very attached to the characters, but hey there are only two books so who knows maybe I’ll just finish the series.

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded by so much death?

I knew I had a good feeling about this book. It’s eerie and I was stressing the fuck out the entire book about that dog’s wellbeing. 100% do recommend if you’re into brutal, creepy and dark books. Be forewarned, when I say dark, I mean DARK. Like zombie babies and children that are subsequently decapitated dark.

Losing Adam by Adrienne Clarke - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

 What happens when the person you love most in the world suddenly becomes a stranger?

Adam and Jenny’s world is falling apart. Their dream of attending college together away from home quickly becomes a nightmare when Adam begins hearing the voice of the Snow Queen. Adam’s startling transformation from popular drama student into a withdrawn, suspicious stranger leaves Jenny frightened and confused. How can the person she loves most in the world suddenly become someone she doesn’t recognize? As Adam drifts farther and farther away into the Snow Queen’s mysterious world of ice and snow, Jenny believes she must fight to bring him back or risk losing him forever.

Holy fuck. This book probably has the most accurate representation of any mental illness I’ve seen in YA. Adam’s schizophrenia wasn’t watered down in the slightest and it wasn’t romanticized. I would have liked to read more of Adam’s perspective than Jenny’s since Adrienne Clarke writes mental illness so accurately. Does that make sense?

I liked that she gave us a look at how mental illness affects the individual in question, but also their loved ones. Although I would have preferred if we had focused more on Adam as for the reason above.

Whisper by Lynette Noni - ⭐⭐⭐

For two years, six months, fourteen days, eleven hours and sixteen minutes, Subject Six-Eight-Four — ‘Jane Doe’ — has been locked away and experimented on, without uttering a single word.

As Jane’s resolve begins to crack under the influence of her new — and unexpectedly kind — evaluator, she uncovers the truth about Lengard’s mysterious ‘program’, discovering that her own secret is at the heart of a sinister plot … and one wrong move, one wrong word, could change the world.

Review Here!

 The Thirteenth Guardian by K.M. Lewis - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Da Vinci’s secret pales. Michelangelo concealed an explosive truth in his famous Creation of Man fresco in the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican. Everything we have been taught about Eve is wrong—she didn’t cause the fall of man. Instead, Eve carried a far more devastating secret for millennia; one that will change the world forever.

As the modern-day world suffers the cataclysmic effects of the “Plagues of Egypt”, Avery Fitzgerald, a statuesque Astrophysics major at Stanford, discovers that she is mysteriously bound to five strangers by an extremely rare condition that foremost medical experts cannot explain. Thrust into extraordinary circumstances, they race against time to stay alive as they are pursued by an age-old adversary and the world around them collapses into annihilation. Under sacred oath, The Guardians—a far more archaic and enigmatic secret society than the Freemasons, Templars, and the Priory—protect Avery as she embarks on a daring quest that only legends of old have been on before. Avery must come to terms with the shocking realization that the blood of an ancient queen flows through her veins and that the fate of the world now rests on her shoulders.

Release date – June 7th 2019

Review Here!

Angelfall by Susan Ee - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

It's been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back.

Anything, including making a deal with an enemy angel.

Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl.

Traveling through a dark and twisted Northern California, they have only each other to rely on for survival. Together, they journey toward the angels' stronghold in San Francisco where she'll risk everything to rescue her sister and he'll put himself at the mercy of his greatest enemies for the chance to be made whole again.

Yesssssss I like this. I find that many angel stories are overdone or hyper-religious, but this, this seems pretty promising.

Dead of Night by Carlyle Labuschagne – ⭐

In a dark and desolated After Earth, love still does exist, but the cost of bearing such a flaw is death.

World War III has left Earth in utter turmoil. People’s beliefs are said to be the cause of the worldwide destruction. After The Clearing new laws are set about - to show certitude in anything besides the law is weak and chargeable as mutiny. To be illogical and have faith in religion is illegal, to be limitless is dangerous. And Illness is seen as a defect – all flaws that are inexcusable.

But to love is the greatest betrayal of all man kind. It is a fault the world has long forgotten and punishable by death, a fatal risk Aecker and Opel are fully prepared to take - because in love there is freedom. But how far can they push back before it claims their lives and of those they care about?

This is the worst book I’ve read in my entire life.

Oh my god it was just so bad I don’t even know where to start. There is no plot, the characters are flat, every single scene was chaotic (I swear I got [metaphorical] whiplash), and it ends out of fucking nowhere. I thought I was missing part of my copy then ending was so sudden.

The world development was non-existent, and I was just confused all the way through.

I would write an individual review on this since I received it in exchange for an honest review, but honestly, this is all I have to say. I’m not even entirely sure as to what happened. 

Unfortunately, 0 stars is not an option on Goodreads, so I had to stick with one even though I don’t think it deserves it.

I Hunt Killers by Barry Lyga – ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Jasper "Jazz" Dent is a likable teenager. A charmer, one might say.

But he's also the son of the world's most infamous serial killer, and for Dear Old Dad, Take Your Son to Work Day was year-round. Jazz has witnessed crime scenes the way cops wish they could—from the criminal's point of view.

And now bodies are piling up in Lobo's Nod.

In an effort to clear his name, Jazz joins the police in a hunt for a new serial killer. But Jazz has a secret—could he be more like his father than anyone knows?

Yessss another thriller. I love the internal conflict Jazz is dealing with and it’s expertly woven in with the plot. Would recommend, and will definitely be continuing on with the series!

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen – ⭐⭐

Since its immediate success in 1813, Pride and Prejudice has remained one of the most popular novels in the English language. Jane Austen called this brilliant work "her own darling child" and its vivacious heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, "as delightful a creature as ever appeared in print." The romantic clash between the opinionated Elizabeth and her proud beau, Mr. Darcy, is a splendid performance of civilized sparring. And Jane Austen's radiant wit sparkles as her characters dance a delicate quadrille of flirtation and intrigue, making this book the most superb comedy of manners of Regency England.

You know… it’s a classic. I don’t really like classics. I feel like I need to read them you know? Oh well.

Everyone’s a Aliebn when ur a Aliebn Too by Jomny Sun - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Here is the unforgettable story of Jomny, an alien sent to study Earth. Always feeling apart, even among his species, Jomny feels at home for the first time among the earthlings he meets. There is a bear tired of other creatures running in fear, an egg struggling to decide what to hatch into, a turtle hiding itself by learning camouflage, a puppy struggling to express its true feelings, and many more.

The characters are unique and inventive—bees think long and hard about what love means, birds try to eat the sun, nothingness questions its own existence, a ghost comes to terms with dying, and an introverted hedgehog slowly lets Jomny see its artistic insecurities. At the same time, Jomny’s curious presence allows these characters to open up to him in ways they were never able to before, revealing the power of somebody who is just there to listen.

Oh my god this was just so cute and filled with so many important messages than hit very close to home. New favourite for sure.

Number of books read: 17

Number of pages read: 5806

Average Pages per Book : 341.5

Average rating: 3.4

Favourite book of the month: Gemina by Amy Kaufman and Jay Kristoff. I love love love the Illuminae files! Definitely my favourite sci-fi series to date.

Least favourite book of the month: Dead of Night by Carlyle Labuschange. It’s just so bad, you guys.

[savedbythenotepad]

Hey ho!

I do not think I’ve written the martial artists/fighter AU in a long while so I decided to do a snippet of that! I am thinking of doing a snippet of this AU every day and of moments surrounding this AU so that might be cool. :D

I hope you enjoy reading it because I definitely had a lot of fun writing it!

Mila’s more than surprised when Viktor meets them in the foyer while sporting a black eye. He’s dressed perfectly as he always is and his hair is styled beautifully so nothing would have been out of place. If it wasn’t for the dark purple bruise that decorates his left eye. 

Everyone in their group begins to notice one by one and it’s Yuri who’s the last to realise due to him talking about something he did with Otabek. He notices that they’ve all gone silent and he’s about to ask what’s wrong before his sights fall on Viktor and takes it in. 

What follows is more silence and it stretches for an amount of time that’s almost deemed uncomfortable. Viktor shuffles in his place and tries to cool down the warmth that’s steadily making its away to his cheeks but it’s already too late. Yuri’s snort which is followed by a round of hysterical laughter surges the blush to the surface of his pale cheeks and it’s then that all of his friends follow. 

The whole lobby is filled with their laughter as they struggle to figure out what the hell had happened between seeing Viktor this afternoon and seeing him at this moment. It had only been four hours so nothing much could have happened but Viktor was known to be highly unpredictable. 

The laughing has caused other hotel guests to stare now and Viktor flushes even more before he wills his friends to quiet down. 

“Guys,” he almost hisses as he slightly flaps his hands. “This is a public space and you can’t be laughing like a pack of hyenas.”

Mila’s the first one to catch her breathe which means she’s the first to reply. “I’m sorry,” she says as she struggles to hold her chuckles back. “I was worried at first, trust me! But then Yurio started laughing and I began imagining who you pissed off to earn such punishment.”

“What makes me laugh is that you’re a pro-fighter and you didn’t see this coming?” Yurio manages to speak after a few more seconds and sighs happily as he wipes a tear away from his right eye. “No seriously, what the fuck did you do?”

Georgi lets out an amused huff before eyeing Viktor knowingly. “I think I know~” he sings and Viktor’s reaction is quick as he presses a long finger over his lips. A hurried shush leaves from between them and this only intrigues Mila and Yuri more. 

“Wait,” Mila says as she holds up her hands. “Wait, is there something that Viktor isn’t telling us?” She then turns her sights to him and Viktor tries to raise his eyebrows as nonchalantly as he can. “Viktor Nikiforov.” Her voice is slow and like a predator who is quietly sneaking up on their prey. 

Viktor hated it when Mila used that voice but it’s effective and Viktor finally caves without much fight. It was a battle he was going to lose anyway because Mila, Yurio and Georgi are hell to go up against when they’re a team. 

“I...” Viktor begins and fiddles with his fingers before shoving them deep within his pant pockets. It’s unusual for him to be so nervous but there are certain times when something or someone really gets to him. “I was helping Yuuri Katsuki train because he asked for my help.”

There’s silence once more as the group falls quiet to take in his words. Georgi already knew so he’s smiling smugly because he knew and they didn’t. It takes another moment before Mila reboots and Yurio follows and they’re both screaming at the top of their lungs. Mila out of pure excitement and Yurio out of something akin to rage but not quite. 

“He gave you a black eye!?” Yurio shouts while Mila squeals and laughs as she leans into Georgi. “Viktor! How the hell did that happen!?”

The truth is that Viktor became distracted by a drop of sweat rolling down the defined curve of Yuuri’s bicep. The paraphrasing of that is:

“He’s just a really good fighter.” Viktor says with a shrug and it’s definitely true. Yuuri knows how to move across and around a mat as he bounces on his toes and keeps his guard up. It’s almost as if he’s dancing on air and the whole thing is terribly mesmerising. 

Yuuri would not make a good opponent for Viktor; he’s too wonderful in every way.  

Georgi grins at him and Viktor levels him with a look that Mila luckily doesn’t see. Yurio is too busy ranting about how Viktor’s supposed to be training him and a little bit of him is pissed he didn’t get to see the Yuuri Katsuki up close. 

It’s an unfortunate situation because Viktor knew that this would happen. He had even debated on wearing a bit of concealer but a part of him wanted people to see the black eye. So they’d know that he isn’t unbeatable after all and someone can manage to lay one on him. And call him weird but he likes having there as it’s something that Yuuri left him with.

Even if it was followed by Yuuri profusely apologising and pressing an ice pack to Viktor’s eye gently as Viktor rested his head on his lap. Soft but strong thighs cushioning his head as he stared up into lovely brown eyes and pink lips curved into an apologetic smile.

Viktor sneaks a smile while the other three are busy shouting among themselves. 

Some injuries are worth it.