#i forgive the war crimes its ok. he looked good doing them.

[wastelandhell]

I absolutely adore how you draw Danse, giving him a tummy makes me so happy <3

thank you hes my beautiful teddy bear. my schmookie poo. baby.

[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

[ouchmaster6000]

This post is dumb for several reasons:

There is a difference between being brave and being suicidal. The Xenomorphs, Pennywise and Pyramidhead WILL kill you. Most Monster Girls will not. Even those that will, like some of the ones in Monster Girl Quest, will usually fuck you BEFORE they kill you. It's a "Its worth the risk" sort of scenario. Half the characters here have no interest in fucking, they will just kill you. Trying to fuck them is a pointless endeavor

Half of these are verging on beastiality. Which, fine, its fiction, obviously no real animals are being hurt. Im not an anti, if you obviously couldn't tell from my blog. However, I would not someone a coward for not being into fictional animals or animal like monsters, any more than I would call someone a coward for not being into lolis or shotas. Its a small niche and does not reflect the majority of the population.

Contrary to kaasknot's reply, the idea that only men are more shallow when it comes to looks irl, does not actually hold up AT ALL when you look at the facts. Case in point, here is an actual the results of an actual study where users of OK Cupid had to rank a bunch of other random users of the opposite sex based on their appearance: 

As you can see, most women were ranked by men as "average" wheras most men were ranked by women as "unattractive". Womens standards in mens appearance is actually way higher than men, and its actually become a pretty big talking point in many circles of the internet. People make fun of the "know the work rules meme" but it didn't come out of nowhere. And you can even see this in fandom spaces where women will be more willing to forgive attractive male characters that commit war crimes than unattractive ones for far lesser character flaws.

If anything, id say statement about women having to find "likable/sexy traits in horrific/mediocre men" unintentionally proves my point. Its not that women are "trained from birth" to do this (at least not in todays age anyway), but because women have so much higher standards when it comes to looks (and even more so when it comes to money - some men will date women for their looks, but I've never met a guy who cared about a girl being poor) they are far more likely to end up with men who are abusive than the average guy, who tends to date girls because they are nice to them. Im not saying abuse never happens to men - in fact it happens to men more often than you realize, but most men who end up with an abusive women are the ones who are so desperate they are worried that they will end up alone / no one else will date them, whereas a lot of women end up like that cause they keep going for good looking bad boys. (Exceptions are usually the few men rich or handsome enough that they can afford women mostly based on looks. Thats how we end up with the Depp / Heard situation.)

Also, the statement about “We like the scaly fish man because he’s better than most men and can see his inner beauty” does NOT line up with the original post at all since, aside from maybe the robot (Have not watched that one) the majority of the characters pictured are awful murderers and awful people. Pennywise primarily kills (and eats) children. Many people have suggested both the Xenomorph and Pyramid head are intended to be rape metephors. Only Venom you could argue is a good person but even they kill people, albeit mostly bad people (and in the OG comics Eddie Brock started off as an entitled pick and corrupt journalist that just wanted to kill Spider-Man for stupid and petty reasons. He only became more complex and heroic over time because he got SO popular the writers realized they couldn’t give him the screen time and focus the fans wanted without giving him more nuance)

Also, its not like fandom has always reflected women's real life tastes:

Also you might be surprised how often a monster girl being misunderstood IS part of the appeal of men’s monstergirl fantasies. Literally a big plot point in Monster Musume is that part of the reason that Kimihito (the protagonist) is liked by the Monster girl characters is he treats them as girls first and monsters second. A big scene in the first episode is Kurusu punching a couple racists for insulting Miia and calling her a freak cause she’s part snake.

This was also a post on a monster girl chan board that became a pretty famous meme / motto among monster girl lovers:

I also think you are giving men’s tastes too little credit. Not every monster girl men find attractive look like your stereotypical cute anime waifu. Case in point, here are some examples that I know at least some men have found hot:

Unless they are a furry (and male furries tend to be some category of lgbt anyway) the only real difference between men and women in regard to attraction to non human characters is men at least need the head and torso to loosely resemble that of an attractive human woman. The lower body and other extremeties can still be extremely monstrous and freakish looking and many men will still want to fuck them.

Even Rachnera Arachnera from Monster Museme, who OP included in her original post, can be pretty frightening when she wants to be. Case in point heres a screenshot to her reaction to a guy trying to assault the centaur girl:

Which combined with just how BIG the spider half of body is, I think she'd be pretty scary and intimidating in real life.

Ive also been part of the Monster Girl Enclopedia fandom for several years now and I can say that though the designs are similar to monster musume and the books put great emphasis on how the monsters love human men and want to mate with them not kill them, you'll notice that many of the most popular species among the fans, such as the Hellhound, Manticore and Ushi-Oni, are the ones most likely to be described as "Giant Feral Rape-Machines"

Like, they are intelligent enough to integrate into human society and many do, but often dating one is essentially being captured by a giant monster cavewoman keeps you in her lair goes out, brings and feeds wild boar and elk that she killed with her bare claws and fangs, and then very longingly violates you and crushes your pelvis.

Interpretations vary, but my favorite MGE Fanart are the ones that empahasize just how big, feral, dominating, powerful and/or predatory these these girls can get. They dont have to be ugly or inhuman to come across as scary or dangerous:

Truth is many guys LOVE monster girls with emphasis on the monster aspect, they just don't like it when they "human woman" aspect is ignored so much you could mistake them for mindless beasts on first glance.

I think part of the reason the perception that men don't like more monstrous women is because I think many of the monstrous women men do like (Or would like, if they were aware of their existence) aren't very well known. A "scary Woman with monstrous features, but still mostly human looking in the head and torso" is a much more specific and less common character design in media than just "monster".

Like, with the exception of the Shape of Water Fishman (never watched it either, not sure if he has a name) none of the characters listed were written with the intent to be romantic interests or sexually appealing, but they ARE well-known and popular enough that people asking, “Wait, there are women who want to fuck that thing??” becomes an internet talking point.

Whereas not many people are talking about men wanting to fuck Queelag, Sheoldred, Zuggtmoy, or the other characters I posted pictures of cause not as many people know who those characters ARE. Probably the most well known “scary” female character that I know a lot of guys get horny for is Samara from the Ring, and a ghost girl isn’t quite the same as an inhuman monster

And really, this is an issue with what sort of characters are being designed for Fantasy, Sci Fi and Horror, not the people consuming it. In most of these cases its people lusting over characters the creators intended to show up in the audiences nightmares rather than their wet dreams. There just happen to be more well known scary male monsters for girls to lust over than scary female ones for the guys to lust over.

(Though, I do want to point out that the Xenomorph is technically NOT male. Depending the continuity / interpretation, it would be most accurate to say the average Xenomorph drone is either female, genderless, or hermaphroditic. If I had to call any part of their species life cycle as male, it would be the face huggers, as they are the only ones doing any impregnating. But even thats trying to apply human sexual classification on a non human creature.)

When women want to fuck monsters:

When men want to fuck monsters:

Conclusion: men are fucking cowards.

[writingsbychlo]

I really wanna know your opinion on Steve Rogers cause you have like really good and strong opinions that I like to read and I dont know if I like him or not, its kinda like a love/hate relationship yk

well that is a hard question. lets unpack it.

I think the endgame situation was fucking shitty. like, I get that chris had a contract that was ending, or whatever, but yikes it really through his character into a bad light. so, lets put aside the logistics and talk about steve as a character.

okay but also these are my personal opinions and if anyone comes for me over them I'm gonna spiritually dick punch them.

tfa. he's noble and his heart is in the right place but fuuuuuck something about him pisses me off. I do like his development, though. he has to come to terms with himself, it's a war, I get it. but, he very clearly has something to prove to the world. I don't hate him, but it's not my favourite steve.

aa; steve is a nightmare in this fucking movie. like, okay, we get the excellent progress of him actually becoming captain, seeing some weird shit, and having to come to terms with the modern world. however, despite the struggles that were really good, he was a wee bit too big for his boots. he definitely tried too hard to be the best man at the table. just chill, steve, everybody is coming to terms with some stuff, you're doin a little too much.

ws; okay, steve hit his peak so far in this movie. we love some good strong morals paired with crime. fuck the government. love that for him. also, he is actually in the headspace to sacrifice himself for bucky, it creates some real good storyline which obviously gets fucking abandoned by endgame. I like steve in this movie. he's not too bad, he makes a good speech and a new friend, it's calm.

aou; I mean he's back to being a bit of a wet-wipe in the beginning but I will allow it. the struggle comes and they pull together, I think he's getting a better handle on the 'captain' part of it, and actually being a part of a modern team. I don't have many complaints about this steve. at least, nothing that immediately comes to mind.

cw; immediate what comes to mind is the words 'get in the fucking bin' but I will explain. now, I try not to focus too much on the actual situation because I have always been a little undecided on which side I would take. I wanna' say tony, because like the mess they continually make? I mean, wow. but at the same time, fuck the government they don't tell me what to do. however, it all got a bit dramatic, steve knew what happened to tony and didn't tell him, tony most likely would have forgiven it if steve hadn't lied by omission. so, yeah, there's liar steve and the dramatics and their airport fight I mean, yikes. I love bucky too but let's just stop and think things through, steve. fuck.

iw; I will allow it. the beard makes me slightly feral. I would probably fuck rogue steve or whatever everyone calls him after a drunk night in a bar so there's that. also he fistfights thanos with his bare hands so I gotta respect it, plus he's getting about in the stolen flying thing I forgot the word but you know what I'm talking about. he just gives off all kinds of good vibes. I can rock with it.

e; tony dies so I don't have a single thought about anyone else except for him in this movie but bucky in the jacket does look good? no, I'm kidding I have strong fucking opinions. lol, got u. anyway, steve can get fucked like for real he's just gonna fucking dip like that? he's just gonna fuck off for peggy and ruin her life? WE KNOW SHE FOUND A HUSBAND AND HAD KIDS AND WAS HAPPY. he fucked that right up. also, he shaved the beard so I have no sexual attraction to him, which really takes from the 'I'll forgive you because you're hot' thing. I don't know. I just don't like endgame steve.

conc; steve is ok. he's not the worst character but like he's far from the best and the ending suuuuucked.

[themysteriousgirl920]

A Chance to be Happy - Sonic IDW fanfic

Shadow wants to eliminate Eggman, but Sonic manages to calm him down with a more careful choice of words. (Alternate take on a scene from Sonic IDW Issue 6)

Enjoy. :-)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sonic the Hedgehog, known by many as the fastest thing alive, is up against the wall. Or, in this case, the tree. He made no attempt to break free from the firm grip of his ebony and crimson counterpart, Shadow the Hedgehog.

Shadow was known by many as the Ultimate Life Form, and he had sought to find and destroy the mad scientist responsible for the repetitive devastation of Sonic's world. Evil acts that consisted of blowing up 50% of the moon, literally splitting the world apart to release a nefarious monster and using a machine to steal the life force from the planet.

Another act to add to the list of evil deeds would be taking over the majority of the world within six months. Something that, by a miracle, took a short amount of time to undo.

The dark hedgehog had just been convinced of all the good deeds the man had performed to help the heroes, but those few good deeds were not enough to erase the evil deeds he had committed time and time again.

Earlier, Shadow learned that the man was no longer the evil Dr Eggman and, in his amnesiac state, is now a reformed citizen turned handyman known as Mr Tinker. However, speaking from personal experience, having amnesia doesn't make anyone any less dangerous.

Once Mr Tinker regains all his memories, he will – sooner or later – revert to the man he had once been: a scientist who had been constantly squandering his given gifts and skills for his own selfish desires. With one final attempt to dissuade his blue counterpart from making a huge mistake, Shadow was the first to speak.

"Have you forgotten that he made you suffer? That he's tried to destroy you - multiple times? How can you even suggest leniency for him after all that?"

The azure hedgehog pondered on Shadow's statement regarding the mad scientist's despicable deeds. On one hand, Eggman has continually and consistently made the inhabitants of the world quiver in fear upon witnessing his arrival. In spite of his constant failures, he would always return once again in an attempt to rule the world as he sees fit.

On the other hand, Eggman has helped the heroes save the day from time to time. Why would Eggman want to help the heroes, though? Is it because deep down he truly cares about the world? Or is it possible that Eggman is simply using the heroes' abilities to increase his own chances of conquering the world?

If anything, it would most certainly be the latter. This is Eggman, after all. Except… Eggman isn't Eggman anymore. In the current state he is in, he is now known as Mr Tinker, a kind-hearted man who would finally use his talents for the benefit of the people. Who are the heroes to deny him the chance to do so?

Sonic finally found the words he needed to say, needed the hedgehog standing before him to hear. "Because I choose to believe that Eggman, in spite of all the things he has done, isn't beyond saving."

The ebony hedgehog slightly raised his furrowed brow. Not beyond saving? How is this even possible? Why choose to forgive the very person who deserves to be punished? This is the man who had committed numerous crimes in the past and hadn't even attempted to atone for any of them!

This is the man who had taken over most of the world within six months! This is the man who had tortured Sonic non-stop for those six months! How is he not beyond saving?

"You weren't beyond saving either, Shadow," Sonic continued. "With all the crazy stuff that happened in the past, you made up for it rather than allowing your past mistakes to define you."

Shadow knew Sonic was right. The former had committed past crimes of his own: framing the latter for theft, trying to destroy the world to avenge a dear friend, teaming up with an alien invader to uncover the secrets of his past, trying to rid the world of anyone trying to protect it… he was no better than Eggman is.

Yet he eventually saw the errors of his ways and sought to prevent the destruction of the world. Twice. Since then, he had sworn to protect the denizens of the world in any way he can. Shadow had changed for the better. He loosened his grip, his face remaining unchanged as he continued glaring daggers at the blue hedgehog.

"So who's to say that Eggman won't change for the better this time?"

Eggman changing for the better? Shadow chuckled mentally at the mere thought. He would have been rich beyond his wildest dreams for every time he heard that same old story.

"He has done good so far, from what I've heard," Sonic spoke again. "It may not be enough to make up for all the things he has done to us and the world, but it's a small step to redemption."

Doubt and worry crept up on the stern hedgehog's face. Would it really be wise to let Eggman, now known as Mr Tinker, be after performing a few good deeds? Sooner or later, he would be bound to backslide into his old ways as soon as he retrieves all memories of his former life.

The cerulean hedgehog spoke once more. "If he does get all his memories back, though, then let's just hope for the best that he would use all his skills for good instead of using them for evil. So what do you say, Shadow?"

Shadow stared deeply into the eyes of his azure rival. They were filled to the brim with hope and understanding. Not a sign of malice had been evident within them, for he knew that his dark counterpart had atoned for his mistakes and sought to change for the better.

Sonic knew about his past and why he sought revenge on the planet; his mind had been 'perfected' by his creator to help him avenge his granddaughter who had been lost to a raid, which was why Shadow believed she wanted revenge.

Why would Sonic, of all people, choose to spare his long-term arch-nemesis after everything he has done? No one had forgotten nor will they forget what the mad scientist had put them through: endless pain, despair and misery. If Eggman was to change for the better, though, he would have to abandon his former persona and stick with his new life.

Perhaps it would be best to let him enjoy his new way of living for as long as he can. This could be his chance to make up for his past misdeeds and start anew, just like Shadow did. Casting his fears aside, the dark hero finally displayed the face of composure.

"OK, Sonic. I trust you on this one." With a simple turn of his back, he paused for a moment, before turning his head to face Sonic. "I just hope that nothing bad comes out of it."

"Yeah, I hear you. Especially the part where he mentioned Eggmanland."

Fear struck the Black Blur like a lightning bolt to the head. His thoughts of Eggman's true intentions, rushing right in like a tidal wave.

"Shadow, wait!" But it was too late. The dark hedgehog had already vanished in a flash of light. Having effortlessly made his way to his destination, he saw Mr Tinker peeping out of a legged barricade of wood. The poor man flinched as his would-be assassin approached him with a look that could turn anyone into stone.

"Mr Tinker." The voice was a calm baritone, coaxing the handyman to look into the eyes of its owner.

"Y-yes?" the man stammered, fearing for his life.

"Show me. Show me what this Eggmanland looks like."

-------------------------------Page Break-------------------------------

It wouldn't be long before Eggmanland was finally revealed. A war between two sides raged within the Ultimate Life Form: one side persuading him to wait and see; the other pressuring him into stopping the former mad scientist from showing him what he had in store.

Shadow decided to wait and see the outcome of the handyman's work while Mr Tinker approached the building, unlocked the padlock and pushed the wooden barrier forward. Chills ran down the dark hero's spine. His heart pounded like a drum. His body burned intensely as his throat tightened up on him.

It was nothing like he had ever seen. It was Eggmanland… as an amusement park? The still corpses of Eggman's machines were now being used for children's rides, ranging from a rollercoaster to spinning make-shift teacups.

"Tah-daaah?" Mr Tinker uttered unsurely.

Shadow was dumbfounded at the sight. This was nothing like the Eggmanland he knew about. A gentle feminine voice called out to him. "Shadow?" No response.

"Shadow? Are you OK?" The face of a snow-white female bat came into view, her made-up face wrinkled with worry.

"Rouge… I…"

The bat smiled at him reassuringly.

"It's OK, Shadow," Rouge whispered audibly, resting her hand on his shoulder. Shadow gave her a slight smile.

"There's something I have to do before I leave. Mr Tinker." Shadow left his partner's side, slowly approaching the man who turned to him with a nervous smile.

"Um, yes?"

The dark hero sharply drew in air through his nose. "Mr Tinker, I apologise for my actions towards you. Threatening the life of an innocent man was inexcusable."

The handyman waved his hands in a forgiving gesture. "No hard feelings. I really don't remember any of the stuff I did in the past, but maybe I can atone for my past misdeeds. Whatever they may be."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine, speaking from experience." The two shared a heart-warming smile and formed a handshake, a symbol of a new start.

"Farewell, Mr Tinker. I wish you the best of luck in the future."

With a grateful nod from the reformed citizen, Shadow departed from Windmill Village, fully content with the new turn of events.

[gothamdad]

THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS PART ONE: CINEMATIC WRONGS AND ANALYSIS COMMENTARY

DO NOT REBLOG.

This is going to be a bullet point list of incidents that occur in the movie, and will either have my general commentary or an analysis of what makes the scene terrible (or in some rare cases, good). TRIGGERS FOR SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH, AND DYSMORPHIA 

-bruce trying to kill himself in the beginning of the movie. 

Hes reckless, and willing to risk his life, but not suicidal. But he just purposefully gets into a wreck at 2 minutes into the movie?? for no reason??? theres literally no reason for it other than it being angsty bc they COULDVE started the movie with the mutants doing crime, as the next scene cuts right into it and the following news reports 

-"This reporter hopes that wherever he is, hes enjoying a toast with good friends" said when its the anniversary of batman’s disappearance 

this is stupid I hate this movie. You're telling me Gotham forgives Batman for just disappearing on them? DID THAT NOT HAPPEN IN NML AND EVERYONE GOT PISSED??? Like everyone in this movie seems to have forgot he abandoned the city. Not to mention, and I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, bruce will be batman for as long as he lives. He calls himself batman in his mind even when hes retired. He believes that Bruce wayne is the mask. His whole identity is batman. Saying that hed quit because of jason is not only stupid because it implies Jason's death isnt just as important as his parents, but shows that any tragedy is enough to permanently knock him down. And as if the league, or the family, would have let him give up. Anyway the whole reason the retirement in batman beyond works is because it shows bruce was going to fight until he literally died on the spot, but instead he pointed a gun, didn't even use it, just pointed it, and he realized he wasnt fit to HONOR batman anymore. He broke the rule. And he doesnt deserve to wear the mantle. This is so good because 1) bruce still wants to be batman and 2) it doesnt imply that he gave up at all, and at this point with his decreasing wellness his family WOULD be telling him to stop

-Gordon toasts with Bruce on the anniversary

FBKSBSOANSISSB OH MY GOD IT JUST SHOWED HIM SHARING A TOAST WITH GORDON. this is the anniversary of the last time batman is sighted and gordon. JIM FUCKING GORDON. Is celebrating. When they were literally partners and hed shine the batsignal each night TELL ME WHERE THE LOGIC IS!!! I CANT FIND THE LOGIC!!!!! I'm literally 3 minutes into this movie..... and already this is how its going...

-Gordon and Bruce talk

"You're not worried about me, are you?" Asked when hes in clear danger of being attacked by mutants "noT MorE tHAn i aM tHe ReST oF tHis CItY" ah yes. I forgot that Bruce hated gotham and jim Gordon. My mistake. Common misconception.

-the mutants are introduced

Ugh and it's the worst kind of villains too, jim just described the mutants as "the worst kind of criminals. They are only after violence, with no humanity at all" GIVE! VILLAINS! REASONING! I hate these joker wannabes Joker was already enough we dont need a million more "lol I'm just evil deal with it" villains

"Talk to Dick lately?"asks Gordon "You know I havent" Bruce responds

THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING W O R S E BC I KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE GOES AND HE JUST INSTANTLY HAS CARRIE BE THE NEW ROBIN- WHICH, IS N O T BRUCE'S TO GIVE. ITS ALWAYS BEEN DICK'S MANTLE TO PASS DOWN- WHEN HE HASNT BEEN SPEAKING TO DICK????

-tangent on how it’s overlooked that Dick Grayson was the one to make Robin, not Batman

This is a sin that not just the movie, but the batman franchise in general seems to always make. Robin was made as a tribute to the flying graysons, and is meant to be colorful and aerodynamic for acrobatic tricks. it should always be dick’s to pass down, or the next robin after. 

-Bruce begins having trouble with holding back his urge to be Batman

His whole wanting to be batman again thing started because of a newspaper with a family's death and pearls being sold. On the same front cover. I'm. THATS WHEN HE REMEMBERS HIS PARENTS? NOT EVERY FUCKING TIME HE HEARS A GUNSHOT? OR CLOSES HIS EYES? OR SEES BLOOD? HE READS A NEWSPAPER THATS FLOATING IN THE WIND??????NOT EVERY TIME HE LOOKS AT JASONS COSTUME? OR THE OTHER CRIMES COMMITTED??????LOGIC!!!!!!!!!! I NEED !!!! TO KNOW!!!!! WHERE IT IS!!!!!!!! ARE U KIDDING ME NOW THE MARK OF ZORRO, WHICH IS WHO THE FUCK KNOWS HOW OLD NOW, IS ON TV??????????? AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO FLIP TO THE CHANNEL.. Batman telling bruce "you've tried to hold me back. But you're weak. Ypu know it in your soul. You're nothing but a hollow shell." Is so STUPID!! WHY HAS HE BEEN FIGHTING BEING BATMAN!!!!!!!!!! BRUCE SHOULD WANT TO BE BATMAN!!!! AND HATE HAVING TO NOT BE!!!! AND A BAT FLYING INTO HIS WINDOW AGAIN???? STOP THE FUCKING CLICHES IM SICK OF THIS . UR NOT BEING NEXT LEVEL, MOVIE. ITS JUST DUMB. ITS DUMB!!!

-Carrie Kelly

her first ??? Appearance??? Is her going into KNOWN MUTANT GANG TERRITORY instead of going through the rain. And scolding her friend for not having backbone WHEN THEY COULD LITERALLY DIE and saying, and I quote, "its better than out there." then when interviewed about the incident her friend says  "It was a flying monster! With wings and fangs!" and she replies with "Reality check, Michelle, it was definitely a man, but he had to be like 12 feet tall" OH YEAH THATS VERY REALISTIC CARRIE. Shes an asshole to her friend and we're supposed to like her.  Oh and Carrie's reason for wanting to be robin? She saw the bat signal while her parents were talking about public marches. That's it. That's her reason. Not because she was attacked by mutants and almost died.

-Giving the movie credit

Okay but if theres another thing I'll give credit for, and I'm sure its unintentional, is that Harvey is the first criminal he wants to take down. Because Harvey is always going to be Bruce's priority. He didnt go after the mutants, but Two-Face. And the way that confrontation goes when it’s revealed harvey thinks both sides of his face are scarred. the Arkham staff fixed his scars before he was ready for treatment, and his mental health wasn’t priority. he was going to have dysmorphia either way, but not treating mental illness worsened it.  kinda? good writing? But I think it was unintentional to have the idea that Arkham didnt know what they were doing and the belief that scars are important before trauma, and how trauma has to be helped first. I dont believe for an instant that's what's meant. 

-Carrie Kelly part two

She gets a Robin costume and goes out onto the roof and is like.... almost dies. THEN THE NEXT SCENE WE SEE HER SHES LIKE COMPLETELY ACROBATIC? WHY IS SHE SO ACROBATIC NOW!!! THIS TAKES PRACTICE!!!

-Batman confronting the man who supplied the mutant gang with guns

Oh, this scene...He hands a guy a gun, knowing full well that he was depressed because his wife was dying and he had to make more money to save her by supplying the mutants with weapons, and just walks away as he kills himself. (input from a friend which i like:  think about everything bruce did to help mr freeze and his wife now think about this scene )

Batman vs Mutants 

oh, and the "batmobile". Aka his tank. Rubber bullets. Ok fine, whatever, but RUNNING THEM OVER AND SHOOTING MISSCLES ISNT LETHAL? AND HOW IS CARRIE KELLY GOOD AT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM WHEN SHE COULDNT HANDLE HERSELF WITH ONE LIKE A WEEK AGO.  hate that the mutant leader is just a ripoff of bane with long pointed nipples I hate this. I hate that batman cant take him down, but carrie kelly can. AND THE MUTANT LEADRER TOTALLY DIED WHEN BRUCE THREW ADHESIVE ON HIS FACE AND HE WAS SUFFOCATED BUT LATER ON IT SHOWS HE LIVES ??

Bruce talks to Carrie 

"What is this thing?" -carrie "Dick called it the batmobile" -bruce "SIR!!" -alfred over the radio There are no words. Then she pops his arm into place and creates a makeshift cast And he says "where'd you learn to do that?” and because she’s a mary sue she says nothing, because miller doesnt know why she should, so he cuts to "what's your name?" and she says "Carrie. Carrie Kelly. robin" and HE FUCKING GOES "MINES BRUCE." and then immediately tells Alfred hes bringing "robin" to the cave. I hate it here I hate that he forgets what happened to Jason aFTER ITS HIS LITERAL REASON FOR QUITTING. WHAT IS THE POINT IF HE’S GOING TO ACCEPT THIS GIRL HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW AS ROBIN?

-Bruce talks about Jason

OH BRUCE'S FUCKING LINE. HIS LINE. IM FURIOUS Alfred asks "have you forgotten what happened to Jason?" And he says "I'll never forget. he was a good soldier. He honored me" I AM !!!! SHAKING!!!! WITH HOW MAD !!!! I AM!!! Bruce would NOT say that shit. Implying that jason wasnt his son, or that jason was only a casualty in a war, or that HE FUCKING HONORED HIM AND NOT THE CITY, OR THE TITLE OF ROBIN "He honored me" shut the fuck up I hate this and dont even get me started on the misconceptions of Robin in the first place. i dont want to go into the debate on whether or not they’re soldiers, which I personally don’t believe. but its just stupid because Jason considered being Robin the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he was THE BEST. it wasnt his fault he was killed, either. 

-The ending

So the mutant escapes his cell by going through a VENT. A . V E N T. AND ENDS UP IN THE SEWER. I hate that these mutants are just an army of evil people and have no motivation and the leader is just a brute I fucking hate Bruce calling him "son" And the mutants become the sons of batman who fight crime......??? because their leader is gone?? werent they supposed to be evil criminals with no humanity in them?

-Joker

Okay but Joker being absent the entire first part , only to show up in the end hearing news reports about batman, and then smiling as he stands up and just fucking creepily says "darling" holy shit that gave me goosebumps. another credit i have to give. 

[autumn-foxfire]

Ah i think u hit nail in the head why im not super comfy with most of these post war dabihawks potreyals

Even those that have hawks forgive dabi instead of hawks being the one to apologize usually leave hawks wingless. Like scar is one thing but his wings really..hit different especially cuz a lot of fans are still rabid on 'hawks should lose his wings as punishment'. It feels like theses aus are punishing hawks while also having him forgive dabi so they really make it feel like dabi is getting off scot free while hawks is left without two limbs and two major sensory organs but its ok he forgives dabi.

Like i like dabihawks its prime angst material and i dont mind complete aus that let them just be happy cuz thats what aus are for. But if you are going to write or draw something canon divergent you need to do a lot more work cuz u need to base your work on canon. Like that is the exact reason why i like writing aus better than canon divergence even if i like reading both. With canon divergence you really need to know your stuff and it can be stressful to try n keep everything in order while also executing your own story. Thats why canon divergence that just skips to fluff is so jarring, theres no narrative mid section they just tell u 'suspend your disbelief' but thats v hard when where canon left off and where the work is picking up from are so tonaly different you really need a bridge between the two or it just doesnt work. Enemies to lovers is a fun trope but it does expect work from you if you wanna follow canon, to tell us how they got from enemies to begrudging respect to allies to frienda to lovers. But most ppl just want the short version and in cases like dabihawks it just really doesnt work.

Like im always reminded of shizaya and how every work ive ever read of them that was anyway canon compliant (n most aus) still had that tension between them, made it clear they have a lot to work on, worked on that, acknowledge they can still be toxic to each other and that not everything was sunshine and rainbows. They fought they argued it was nasty and it was messy and thats what made me think ye this is how their reletionship would be in canon.

Dabihawks just seems to jump from dabi burning hawks alive to they are all good n happy guys uwu. And its so jarring cuz no they wouldnt be, this reletionship would take A Lot of work to salvage, a lot of trust from hawks and a lot of willingness from dabi to change and do better. It just seems that most works i see simply skip the meat of the reletionship to get to dessert and its just not as fufiling as a full meal

Exactly.

Hawks is punished for his “crimes” meanwhile Dabi, who has committed far more atrocieties then Hawks gets away with his (actual) crimes scot free and even get a boyfriend and a family out of it.

It’s just too unrealistic for me to believe, even with me trying to suspend my disbelief considering it’s a crack enemies to lovers pairing.

As you said, AUs are something I can understand people going wild in because they are the purpose of them however if you’re going to write a work that is based on canon, even if it has canon divergence it it, you at least have to try and follow the guidelines already laid bare for you by canon. As you said, you can’t just eat a starter then jump straight into the dessert, you need to have the main course in between and canon compliant enemies to lovers ships are the same. You need to have that main, the part that explores all the ugly parts of their relationship and how they heal from it before you can jump into the fluff.

Also, if you’re going to hold Hawks to a standard in your work, hold Dabi to the same standard. Hawks gets punished so severely for his actions? Then Dabi, who has done so much worse should be punished even more. It’s not fair that Hawks is just used to make Dabi look better and be their to “forgive” him for his horrible actions.

Shizaya fics have really spoiled me on this because as you said, most stories do explore the ugliness, the “enemy” part in the pairing and how they learn to deal with that and change before diving into the fluff. Also, most stories focus on both of their trauma too, neither forgiving or completely condemning them either. Meanwhile, many Dabihawks stories leave me feeling disappointed because it’s usually stories that fluff Dabi up or just pure fluff with no clue of how they got to that point.

Of course, if that floats your boat then all the power to you, but it’s just no my cup of tea when it comes to enemies to lovers.

[evoedbd]

Reunions

Summery -  10 years after their wedding, Aurora and Lucy go to finally have a family meeting with Lucy's parents, Brad and Susan Kim. Between Brad's evident dislike, Susan's desperation to impress and Aurora's remarkable ability to hold a grudge, Lucy finds herself in what might be the most awkward situation of her life. As for mixing her families, it goes about as well as expected. **************************************************** She was an intimidating silhouette against the soft cream boards of the house. In contrast, her skin seemed to gleam bronze in the afternoon sun, illuminating the shading of lightly defined arms. Aurora’s delicately angled jaw offset the sharpness of her chin, complimenting her slender lips, which were pursed in a dangerous line. She was exotically breathtaking in her broody, seething rage. High, fleet brows furrowed over almond shaped, amber eyes, which had darkened with focused resentment. Aurora stubbornly kept her glare fixated on the homely white door before her as if by willpower alone she could burn it to cinders. Her sharp yet feminine nose was tilted upwards, allowing Aurora to give the impression of looking down. A cat sizing up the mouse it was about to devour. “-Please don’t let this be a mistake. -“ Lucy silently prayed, lowering her hands to wipe her palms against the hem of her white sundress. It was elegant, lacy enough to betray her wealth yet simply cut. It was a v cut into her cleavage, offering a flirtatious view whilst preserving modesty. The dress ended at her knees, remaining light enough to be at home in suburban streets yet also worthy enough to enter any fancy restaurant. Aurora had dressed simply too, yet Lucy knew her better than any. The Mexican born woman was ready for war. Her simple grey tank top with LSBN across it was a statement, a challenge to Brad Kim’s religious sensitivities. Her casual jean booty shorts put her long, toned legs on display, along with several faint bruises and scrapes left there. Further provocation to the man’s views on women, and the fact she could likely snap his neck should he try to enforce them on his estranged daughter. Casual sneakers completed the look. Sensible shoes that wouldn’t hinder her movement. Aurora was already on the attack, waiting for a reason to unleash. “Go five minutes before you start on them. Then go easy. They’re out of practice.” Lucy teased gently, her painted lips pulling into one of her show stopping smiles. Every time Aurora saw that smile she felt the world become a little lighter, as if the goodness emanating from Lucy could wash the blood from her own hands. Could soothe the lifetime of agonising wounds she had suffered emotionally. Still, it was not enough to completely ease her. Not this time. How could she allow forgiveness? They’d allowed Lucy to be a target over and over again. Their love of stealing from the biggest fish in the Criminal Sea of LA had been a death threat looming over Lucy’s head until the Valentine Kidnapping. The start of the little lamb learning to survive the world her parents had thrown her into. “You don’t have to like them, Rory. Its ok to be angry. Just play nice... I have to do this.” Lucy couldn’t speak further. Ten years was a long time for wounds to heal, but the cut of her parent’s numerous betrayals remained. The nerves were still raw, the gash still bleeding. Aurora was the one constantly bandaging it. Gentle words and gentler hands trying to mend the wound together even as the healer herself still bled out. Didn’t have to like them was polite. Both women knew it. Not even Lucy’s most alluring, radiant smile and the grandest promises of the world could make Aurora James LIKE the Kims. Professionally, they owed her millions, putting it lightly. Personally, they owed her blood. First, they had attacked the Valentine’s little lamb. That was a personal insult to Aurora. They’d gone further by bringing Skylar in, another person who had tried to take the little lamb away. Using Stella was the final straw. They’d used HER daughter to try and harm theirs. That was the sickly icing on a cake that Aurora wanted to dissolve in acid then toss to the bottom of the Challenger’s Deep. It was only Lucy’s word and presence that kept Aurora from revisiting her criminal days... that allowed her to lend them the very house their daughter had almost been murdered in. That was her sweet satisfaction. Her sickly revenge against the recently released pensioner criminals. That they lived under her roof, right in the nest of their worst crime. “I know, baby girl.” Aurora sighed, offering a pained flicker of a smile at the agony in storm cloud eyes. Even after all the years, the hurt was there. She saw it flash in Lucy’s eyes often, an ache that echoed in Stella and Daisy’s eyes too. A wound that even lingered in Aurora’s own heart. Parental abandonment was probably not the healthiest bonding tool. “The fact they just left. When I think about what could have happened if...” Aurora trailed off, her honeyed voice lowered to almost a whisper. She knew. All too well. The Valentines had been the only gang who didn’t want to harm the family. Kidnapping Lucy for her own protection sounded insane, but Rory knew better than any that the millions of stolen dollars would drive many men to further insanity. Memories of broken glass consumed her, accompanied by the panicked screams she often heard when Lucy woke from her nightmares. Even now, the very real possibility of the brutality Lucy had been abandoned to made Rory shiver. It physically hurt Aurora’s chest when she imagined a world where her brothers had been too late in saving her little lamb. Where they found the dead body of a beaten, violated young woman laying amidst the broken glass table. Aurora ground her teeth as her arms wrapped around the little lamb, squeezing tightly. For three precious seconds, everything in Aurora’s body redirected into her embrace. Lucy was at home, encompassed in strength and warmth along with the cocktail of lotions that made up the undeniably unique scent of Aurora. Even though Aurora had lost some condition over the years and had gained more laugh lines, Lucy still felt safe. The breath left her lungs at how tightly Aurora squeezed, trembling before her entire body deflated in an exhale. The tension relaxed, shifting from crushing to firm as Aurora’s forehead fell against Lucy’s collar, nose resting snugly in Lucy’s cleavage. “We could buy a stress ball if you need one, Rory.” Lucy pointed out with a fond smile. These moments weren’t uncommon. Where Aurora just needed to squeeze and relax. Have a place to be vulnerable. Of course, the fact she had chosen to nestle between Lucy’s tits wasn’t lost on the younger blonde. A mixed sentiment of lust and love. Close to her heart, yet also somewhere often jealously claimed. “You’re better.” Aurora’s response was predictably muffled, allowing her lips to dance across the exposed flesh between the cut of the dress. Lucy felt Aurora nestle closer, squishing her nose in her desperation for closeness. Rory could feel the warmth of Lucy’s flesh, could smell the mix of sweat and perfume that had become home. She couldn’t help but nuzzle closer, needing to express her affection less she burst. The emotional motorboat was enough to earn a soft chuckle from Lucy, who wrapped her arms around Aurora’s waist. Feeling the guns tucked into Rory’s belt was no surprise, in fact it was another familiar comfort. Lucy herself normally had one or two in her handbag. The blonde tilted her head forwards to press her lips to the crown of Aurora’s head. After planting a loving kiss, Lucy inhaled quietly. Chocolate locks and a delicious scent flooded Lucy’s senses, distracting her enough that the hands squeezing her butt were a shock. It was a playful move, lacking the heat that Aurora brought to more physically intimate encounters. It was at that time the door swung open. “-Just my luck-“ Lucy silently lamented, her stormy eyes hardening in determination as they met her father’s disapproving glare. “Dad. It is not what you think-“Lucy began, lifting a hand in a calming gesture. “It looks like this criminal is molesting my daughter on my own doorstep.” Brad’s response was harsh, the words spat through his teeth as he fixated his intense rage on Aurora. The Mexican born woman barely even shrugged at the stare, immune to the effects of a disapproving father. After all, she had faced down Franco Valentine countless times for Lucy’s sake in that same shirt. A washed-out scam-artist who had fallen victim to kicks from those comfy sneakers was hardly a fair comparison to a former crime lord. A blimp on the radar compared to the lethal men Aurora had grown up with. “Trust me, if I were behaving indecently then you would hear. Lucy is very vocal.” Aurora’s response was delivered in her syrupy sweet tone, matching the devastating smile she offered as she lifted her face from Lucy’s chest. A small glint in her amber eyes was the only warning Lucy got before the hands around her rump tightened, earning a startled squeak. This squeeze was lust, a silent warning from Rory to Brad as she used her grip to pull Lucy closer. “Rory! Not in front of my parents!” Lucy laughed awkwardly as she swatted Aurora’s shoulder. Caramel muscles flexed under Lucy’s hand, inviting her to linger. She knew she should be cross, should ark up at the intentional wordplay she knew Aurora wouldn’t stop. The disrespect. Lucy couldn’t find it in herself to be mad, not yet. There was something satisfying about watching her father’s jaw click shut as his eyes burned with fury. He couldn’t prove Aurora was deliberately revving him up, so he also couldn’t respond. Aurora outclassed him in the ways of wordplay and wit. Aurora outclassed him period. “Well, Lucy was always stubborn, even as a little girl.” Susan’s voice came from behind Brad as the woman stepped outside, opening her arms instinctively. Lucy moved without thinking, striding forwards to meet her mother with a one-armed embrace. There was a suspicious tension in their muscles, a stiffness born of years apart. The gesture was old, uncomfortable despite the natural instinct. It was warm though, a blanket around the shoulders of a young girl who fell asleep studying. The security after teenage heartbreak. The safety net after exams and pregnancy scares, or the of sleepless nights when Lucy had been sick. It held so many positive memories, moments where a mother’s embrace had been the foundation a determined, sweet young woman had dragged herself to college on. “I know. Lucy is as smart as she is determined. Nobody could force her to do anybody she didn’t want to.” Aurora preened with pride and affection, yet Lucy noted the words used. Another verbal slap. Aurora didn’t try to draw Lucy from her mother, yet she did keep their hands linked. That hand was Lucy’s world. Soft delights and sleepless nights where love and intimacy had been more important. The security of waking up tangled together, of a morning kiss without a care for their breath. The warmth of a lazy few moments to appreciate each other, or arms wrapped around each other as they worked. Between their fingers was metal. A wedding band. Their promise of forever, regardless what anyone might have said. The walls torn down; foundations ripped asunder to recreate a foundation together. Something built on the best they both could be. “Mom, Dad. I’d like to officially introduce you to my wife, Aurora. Rory, this is my mother, Susan, and my father, Brad.” Lucy kindly introduced, continuing to smile as she stepped back into Aurora’s arms. Instantly, the Hustler draped her arm around Lucy’s shoulder, pulling the blonde into her embrace. The smile Aurora offered could only be described as predatory. Sickly sweet and syrupy, the same smile she had offered when she shook hands with the criminals who had kidnapped her daughter. The same smile when she had been blackmailed into kissing Skylar for her daughter’s life, only to bite straight through her lip. The smile when she had slowly yet methodically broken the fingers of the hitman sent for their oldest. “You can call me AJ.” Aurora’s tone was sweet, yet it took all of Lucy’s skill not to cringe. AJ. Business associate. A brief tool. Someone fucked but never trusted. Or someone she might kill. Oh, Aurora was setting them straight. What was worse, if they had done enough homework they may be able to guess part of her evident threat. But if not, then she was disarming them already. The methodical Hustler was at work. It was enough to make Lucy shiver. Aurora could be terrifying. She could calmly break bones at a snail’s pace or grill a woman’s hand without even a blink at the smell of burnt flesh. She was devious enough to pick apart crime lords while heavily intoxicated for laughs. But oh, it was a treat to watch Aurora work. She was an artist, a master of her craft. There was something undeniably alluring about her raw power, especially when she applied it to give a clear message. When it was used to defend her family. “Well, miss James-“ “Mrs James. Aurora is legally married with two children, Dad. As am I.” Lucy corrected, tilting her head to rest against the bare shoulder beside her. Aurora’s lithe muscles seemed to relax at the touch, taking confidence in the security of Lucy in her arms. That confidence never wavered as Lucy’s hand crept up her lower back, soft fingers stroking the bare skin there for a second before lightly pulling at her shirt. “Well Aurora, Lucy. Why don’t you come inside? I have some tea ready with fresh cookies... remember we baked them when you were younger, Lucy?” Susan stepped in, her voice going a subtle octave higher. The older woman was a flutter of nervous energy, glowing with hope at the chance. “Oh! Rory they are amazing, you’ll love them!” Lucy was giddy, leaning up to press her lips several times to Aurora’s cheek in delight. The kisses were chaste, mixed with little nuzzles as she worked her lips to Aurora’s ear. “And you’re flashing more guns than your biceps.” Lucy’s whisper was obscured in Aurora’s hair, her lips concealed from view. The shorter woman tugged on the Ex Hustler’s shirt, peeling the soft grey cotton over the chlorine stained denim and the contraband weapons. “Well, you know how I love sweet things. Lucy has really improved my diet since she came.” Aurora was calm, speaking without an ounce of shame as she tucked her hand behind her back. Lucy’s cheeks flamed as Rory grasped her hand, tugging it down until the soft cotton changed to denim beneath her touch. A hard shape lingered under the denim, firm beneath Lucy’s palm as she allowed her hand to be guided. She felt the outlines down Rory’s rump, wrapped around her hips. It was enough to daze the poor blonde, as well as concern her. Was Aurora packing more heat than the gun Lucy had already found? “-What weapons could Rory have in shorts that ti- nevermind... I don’t need to know. -“ Lucy had to focus on not blushing at the thought of how and what Aurora may be smuggling. The mere knowledge Aurora was playing with her parents was enough to cause a confused flush to begin throughout her body. She enjoyed Rory’s not so subtle shows of power at her parents’ expense. The thought of what might come next was enough to make her heart beat faster in anticipation. What kind of daughter was she to find enjoyment in her parent’s discomfort? “Oh, has Lucy cooked for you then? She is rather talented in the kitchen. University really helped her mature.” Susan’s voice lured Lucy out of her tunnel focus. Her mother seemed cheerful, even though her dark eyes often shifted to Brad. The man remained silent, glaring at Aurora as if he could banish her from existence. “Lucy has cooked for the gang; however, I’d say I’m the only one to have experienced her full range of talents. Her taste is impeccable.” “Stop it.” Lucy said it bashfully, her cheeks glowing as she leaned into Rory. For the casual onlooker, it may seem pleased, enjoyment at the praise. Only Aurora could feel the nails digging into her behind, the firm pressure that was silently warning her to pull her head in. Of course, Aurora didn’t seem chastised. Amber eyes lit up for a split second, gleaming in their mischievous manner that left Lucy on edge. It was that same gleam Rory got when she had won, but the game was still afoot. The enjoyment of tormenting the mouse in her claws. It was a smile that promised she was only going to escalate her innuendos and barbed words as the day went on. “-Oh dear lord.-“ Lucy lamented as her parents awkwardly parted, begrudgingly allowing Lucy and Aurora to step through the open door. “-I’ve made a horrible mistake.-“

[warzofstarz]

star wars Thoughts at 4 am

ok so rise of skywalker happened,,, and i have mixed feelings. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t love it either (and i usually love star wars movies), so i am in desperate need of a little rant about both the good and the bad in the conclusion of the saga

DISLIKE

1. JJ ABRAMS DISREGARDING ALL OF THE DEVELOPMENT WE EXPERIENCED DURING LAST JEDI. this is what i am most upset about. you don’t have to like tlj, but you can’t pretend it never happened. it’s like he was trying to completely backtrack on everything that happened in tlj bc it was ~his~ vision for the franchise. i think that is disrespectful to not only rian, but to fans who grew attached to the development of the characters. we see finn revert back to first movie finn (lovesick puppy lowkey), rey become an invincible child of the sith, the end of the skywalker family line, complete abandonment of rose, and a total shift in the message of the trilogy. all jammed last second into the film. the next few points all have to do w this

2. the fact that in tlj it is revealed that rey is truly nobody- she’s not some all-powerful descendant or some with royal blood- and tros completely ignores this and makes her a palpatine. the whole point before was that she’s normal, but that doesn’t make her any less powerful, smart, or strong. the message from the first two movies was that you don’t have to be in these elite categories to be special and powerful, which is an important message to every single child and adult watching. it empowers us as viewers to believe that we have the capability to be great, no matter our status, birth name, ethnicity, class, or where we are from. you can find family when you have none. you have the power to change your life. when jj decide LAST SECOND to make her a palpatine, with no clues thrown into the first two movies to lead us to believe this, it feels like a joke. the rey we had come to sympathize with is suddenly an all-powerful sith, seeming stronger than even anakin and yoda, even though she had never even completed training. this reveal is not emotional and literally loses respect rather than gaining any from the audience. a cop out. i felt less emotionally attached to rey than in the previous two films bc of her sheer perfect power

3. rose being 100% sidelined even though her character was incredible in last jedi. her arc was one that i truly couldn’t wait to see finish and sadly we never got it because she was completely abandoned so it could just be a trio once more. i love her. the disrespect.

4. the sudden introduction of zorri just so that poe has someone to flirt with??? like if you wanted to prove he was heterosexual make him flirt w someone he has actual on screen history and chemistry with, like uhhhh idk? rey?????? dont get me wrong tho she is a badass and i love how she shuts poe down!! queen

5. how they throw it in there that finn is force sensitive but don’t fully explain it?? and he never even tells rey??? this is SUCH a cool concept yet it’s never even hinted at until the third movie and its not further developed as to why. likewise i wish we saw the stormtroopers before they left the first order. see what they dealt with and the abuse they endured bc it’s such an important facet of the trilogy and literally drives finns character

6. how we never touch on why poe felt it when rey was tortured?

7. i wish leia hadn’t died and she rallied support w lando

8. if they are a dyad why didn’t rey and ben fight palpatine together?? then no one would have died??

9. i’m just really sad that they chose to kill ben because even though rey takes their name, the skywalker bloodline is gone, while a palpatine lives on. the entire purpose of the first six movies is anakin bringing balance by defeating palpatine. somehow, palpatine survived this (never explained!!!!), which completely defeated the purpose of the first six films and strips anakins chosen one status and ultimate sacrifice of any true importance. in the end of tros, the palpatine bloodline lives on while the skywalker bloodline is gone, and i can’t help but to feel like that contradicts the theme of the original saga in which the skywalkers defeat palpatine and hope lives on.

10. lastly, i just don’t think george lucas would have wanted ben to die. when people kill off main characters to make the movie more emotional, he has literally said “i don’t like that and i don’t believe that” he goes on to say that he hates when main characters are killed, stating “the whole point of the film, the whole emotion that i am trying to get at the end of the film, is for you to be real uplifted, emotionally and spiritually, and feel absolutely good about life. that is the greatest thing we could ever possibly do.” so, i’m sure some of you could see why i have a little issue with killing someone who has finally recognized the error of their ways and wants to be better. yes, he has done awful things that cannot be separated from his new identity as ben, but i think that it would have been even more impactful to make him live with the crimes he has committed and still make him keep fighting his demons to join his legacy on the light side. overall, bens death left a sour taste in my mouth, and for that reason i don’t walk out feeling uplifted. i just wish i knew what george lucas is thinking right now.

LIKE

1. ben solo’s arc and han. now, before some of you pop off at me, i still think he was awful and horrible and didn’t deserve instant forgiveness, but i also think that someone who has grown up his entire life being treated like the spawn of satan by all adults who are supposed to love him would fuck him up majorly, like it would to anyone else in that situation. i think that he deserved another chance at experiencing love and happiness, and i absolutely adored the scene with him and han solo. it was honestly one of the best parts of the whole movie. thank you harrison ford. the whole “i don’t think i’m strong enough” and him tearing up to his dad CUT DEEP. AND THE “dad-“ “i know” LIKE LITERALLY MY HEART. bringing back the “i love you” “i know” so they are LITERALLY TELLING EACH OTHER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!! i’m at peace. adam driver’s acting was absolutely phenomenal. so much respect for him. truly incredible.

2. i loved poe and rey’s bickering. lowkey thought it built some chemistry between them. and how poe seemed quite jealous that finn knew stuff about rey that he didn’t, literally asking him more than once (1nce) about it, like???? han leia vibes. tea. but also poe and finn

3. i really liked jannah SOOO much (and i usually am not one for introducing a character so late) but, like i explained in detail above, i wish they had built that backstory better and introduced her a little bit sooner with more screen time. but i loved her and finns connection and understanding of their trauma.

4. FINN AND POE BEING THE CUTEST HUMANS EVER. that’s all. i just love how they care so very much about each other like stop. cogenerals.

5. ALL THE JEDI VOICES WERE SO FREAKING COOL. CHILLS.

6. i honestly think that’s all. i don’t have anything more

7. OH WAIT HUX BEING THE SPY. i ate that shit up. yes. we stan. AND the hint that he was going along w poe’s phone call in tlj so that the resistance could escape (that’s how poe KNEW it) like YES

8. the animation of young luke and leia made my heart weep

9. that lil sketchy bitch babu and the new cone droid that talks,, mmm

10. OH THAT THE FORCE BOND LETS THEM TRANSMIT OBJECTS THRU IT LIKE THE VADER MASK SCENE WAS ICONIC

11. this is so sad that i am putting this in my “like” parts but the fact that they didn’t kill chewie and that they showed him being so torn up about leias death

12. OH AND CHEWIE GETTING HIS MEDAL THAT WAS SO HYPE

13. rey burying the skywalker lightsabers and looking into the sunset, perfectly tying back to luke doing the same 42 years ago

overall, if i don’t think too hard, i did like it and felt kind of at peace. BUT it could’ve been much better @ JJ :/ i feel like it didn’t do the saga justice as the “conclusion of the saga” bc there is still so much left unanswered. but, like i said, i did enjoy it a lot and have so much love for this world. rant over. i love u star wars. thank u for everything. <3

[lilithsgayadoptednephew]

Holy Hands

Fandoms: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!   Not Rated Graphic Depictions Of Violence F/M, Other Complete Work

Chapter List

Chapter 16

Lucifer opened the broken front door with a bang.

"Boys!"

No answer.

"They're probably still too weak to move" Acacia suggested.

"What?" MC was surprised but still going along with it.

"The boys are really weak cause the humans are giving up sinning out of fear."

"Then how come you're still standing?" MC gestured to Lucifer.

"Naturally, as the oldest I am the strongest and can withstand much more than my brothers." He shifted Satan's weight over his shoulder as he spoke, not looking at MC.

"Or maybe pride's just a worse sin that's harder to give up." MC said coldly. Lucifer didn't respond. "The angels will find us here in no time, we have to get your brothers up."

"Yeah but we can't move 6 full grown men all by ourselves!" Acacia argued.

"I'm not leaving my brothers here, we'll just have to think of something."

Their spat was interrupted by someone approaching behind them. Lucifer spun around, claws bared and ready to fight. MC stretched an arm protectively in front of Acacia and summoned the bow from it's earring form. It glowed brightly and appeared in their hand, though it didn't look a whole lot like a bow.

It looked an awful lot like a 9mm pistol.

Staring down the barrel of the gun they scrutinized the intruder. Even across the large room they recognized the pristine white shawl and dark hair.

"I thought you were our friend Simon, what are you doing here?" They snarled.

Simon simply stared, he asked very carefully. "Is that…?"

MC kept the gun on Simon as Lucifer caught their eye. He was no longer threatening the intruder in favor of staring at the weapon MC had summoned.

"MC...where did you get that?"

"Does that really matter? Simon! Answer me!" They deflected.

"Yes it does matter! That is a Celestial weapon and--"

"That is my sister's weapon!" Lucifer snarled.

"She gave it to me ok, I'll tell you about it later!" MC yelled, baffled that this is what they were choosing to focus on. Lucifer stewed for a moment before training his attention back on Simon.

"You'd better leave before I tear your wings from your shoulder blades." He articulated. Simon raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"I'm here to apologize" he said sadly, "I really did want to stop this but I can't disobey Michael and I didn't get the locusts in time and…" he trailed off.

Lucifer seemed to relax, he cringed remembering how he used to follow orders like that.

"But look!" Simon took a horn out of his satchel and held it up with both hands. "I called the locusts away from Earth, you and your brothers should have enough strength to leave and lay low for a while."

No one said anything for a moment before Acacia chimed in.

"Well that solves that." She turned to head down the hall and wake the brothers.

Lucifer set Satan down on his feet and lightly slapped his face to wake him. MC kept their weapon on the angel who betrayed them, just for a moment more. Then they slowly lowered it to point at the ground. Sensing it was no longer needed it turned back into an earring and returned to its place.

Simon carefully put the horn back in his satchel and looked pleadingly at MC. "I really am sorry, I never wanted you or your sister to get mixed up in this."

"Yeah? What about them?" MC gestured to the quiet house. "They were your friends too."

Simon just looked at the ground. "Please understand it's for their own good."

Lucifer scoffed but said nothing.

MC thought about Simon, his job and his beliefs. Of course he only meant the best with his actions. He couldn't understand why the brothers could be hurt by going back.

"Ok" they said simply.

"You forgive me?"

"Yeah, I do, but I'm not whose forgiveness you should be looking for." With that MC turned to join Acacia. They didn't have much time.

0Watching from the alleys and streets of the greater Devildom, the brothers saw the angels invade their home. They only had what they could carry, which wasn't a lot given their dwindling strength and that some had to carry each other.

MC and Acacia checked bags making sure the essentials were there. Apophis sat on MCs shoulders, his enclosure had to be left in the house. Chester snuffled at Belphegor where he leaned heavily on Beel. Levi sat on the sidewalk trying not to cry, Henry 2.0s travel bowl in his lap.

Spirits were low as they took in the reality, their home was gone, they couldn't stay in the Devildom or they'd be found. The only thing they could do was return to the Celestial realm with Michael.

Who knows what punishments awaited them for their crimes. Not just during the war, but the millions of years of sin that came after the war. There was a chance he'd take them all apart and start over. Lucifer shuddered at the thought of crawling back to his creator, only to be told he had to be redone to make him better. To make him the angel his father wanted.

Lucifer was tired. He was so tired after months of almost no sleep and constant building stress. He was tired after the emotional turmoil he'd been through in such a short period of time. He sat on the pavement amongst the brothers that counted on him and he hung his head. He was so exhausted so utterly worn out and now he still faced his biggest challenge yet.

How to fix this.

How could he possibly save his family from returning to their life of oppression? How could he somehow make this better and pull everyone through this? The sad fact was that he couldn't. He couldn't do it, he was too tired and he had failed . Sitting on the ground without a home or an ally…

He wept.

So quiet no one noticed at first, he couldn't control it as every single thing he'd worried about came to fruition. It felt awful, so much worse than he'd imagined it would. He wept almost silently on the ground like a child, and he felt the worst he'd ever felt in his life.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Drying his tears quickly on his glove he glared daggers at whoever dared touch him in his moment of weakness. MC didn't look at him as they sat beside him, one hand on his shoulder. They didn't mention his state, and he was grateful because it let him pretend that perhaps they hadn't noticed. They let him collect himself before they spoke.

"You and your brothers will come with us back to earth."

He was silent as he rolled the words around in his head. Testing their weight and trying to decide what they meant. But they just sounded garbled to him, like static, meaningless.

They stood from their spot next to him and started speaking to Simon, but he didn't listen. He was too tired.

Some time later Simon knelt in front of him. He said something Lucifer was too tired to hear before helping him to his feet.

The angel placed a hand to the side of Lucifer's face, and everything went mercifully black.

0"You're sure he won't wake up?" MC spoke softly to the angel.

"Yes...he's so exhausted it's unsafe to change him while he's awake. He'll sleep for a few days at least" was Simon's forlorn response.

Mammon was visibly shaking from what they were going to do. He took MCs hand in his for support. "Do we have to be human?" He almost pleaded.

"Yes," Simon said quietly, "only humans may inhabit the Earth. If you are to seek shelter there you must undergo the change."

Mammon swallowed heavily, but nodded.

"Don't worry Mammoney, we’re not that bad" Acacia tried to comfort him. He smiled a little at her.

"Ok" MC announced "everyone ready?"

There were murmurs of reluctant agreement around the group. What other choice did they have?

Simon went from brother to brother. None of them really noticed a difference, but they were all shaken nonetheless.

"This is all I can help you with MC, this and my silence. The rest is up to you."

"Thank you Simon. We won't forget this." They said sincerely.

"Godspeed, little lamb" was his last reply.

[cryptovalid]

The Rise of Skywalker is Bad, but I was wrong to expect any better (and it’s not as bad as I expected, either)

If the title did not give it away, I’m conflicted about Star Wars Episode IX: the Rise of Skywalker. I just saw it in theatres, and I thought it was bad, but I can’t muster up any scorn or outrage. It’s just like the popcorn I ate: bland and forgettable, and somewhat stale. I guess it helps I was never a huge Star Wars fan at any time. I’ve seen every movie in the series, except for Solo. but I’ve not seen any of them more than once or twice. In short, I’ve always thought of Star Wars as Fine, but also massively overrated. I believe the interesting concepts in A New Hope and the Empire Strikes Back were squandered by first George Lucas, and then J.J. Abrams.

 I can’t say that Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi was my favorite Star Wars movie, but it was without a doubt the least compromised of all the other entries. It had something to say whether fans liked it or not. It wasn’t meandering, self-indulgent and uncanny like Lucas’ prequels, and did not take the original trilogy as unassailable gospel the way JJ Abrams does. I did not like the pacing or how Poe and Finn’s characters seemed less central to the story, but I understand why Rian Johnson focused on Rey’s interactions with Luke. The message of the Last Jedi was bold and challenging for fans: the Force is for Everyone and fans are wrong to obsess over the royalist eugenics and power fantasies in the original trilogy. Johnson wanted to focus on some of the more challenging aspects of war: loss, betrayal, and failure. Not everyone liked that, but for all that it did to sideline my favorite new characters, Finn and Poe, that was a daring and worthwhile statement to make.  

That said, I expected Disney to fully backtrack, given the way TLJ was received. So expectations were not high. Watching RoS is a strange experience. It’s kind of fun but also profoundly unoriginal and hackneyed. But given how similar it is to the Original Trilogy, it just made me realize that Star Wars was never as good as I imagined it was (or could be?). For Rise of Skywalker to be actually great, it would have to Rise (pardon the pun) above its predecessors. Which obviously it didn’t.  

 From here on there be Spoilers for SWIX: ROS

Let’s talk nuts and bolts. This movie is a random remix  of setpieces and McGuffins, artificially raised stakes and callbacks and hommages to the Orginal Trilogy. There’s a thing the heroes need to find the resurrected Emperor, and 80% of the movies is just a huge wild goose chase that also involves Kyle Ron stalking Rey to convince her to rule to galaxy with him. Then there’s a bunch of Death Stars and  confrontation with the Emperor. It’s all quite well paced, shot and scored, and even though I am highly critical of both the stilted dialogue and the uninspired plotting, the film is at least entertaining to watch. It is frequently funny and tense, sometimes unintentionally. And this, looking back, is really all that Star Wars can really claim to be. It’s an all-ages action comedy about war with some fantasy and sci fi for flavor and that’s really all that Star Wars has ever been.   

I had an epiphany as I watched Kyle Ron’s redemption and the messages around the Dark and Light Side. I was first struck by the fact that they are really the same story beats as the original trilogy, with some details changed that merely made it more obvious how hypocritical, lazy and thematically inconsistent these ideas have been from the beginning. Redeeming Darth Vader was always a cheap copout. He is a mass-murderer whose last action is sacrificing his life to kill the Emperor. He never really reckons with his many, many crimes. 

It becomes slightly grosser when Kyle Ron has one warm moment with his mom before she dies, a near-death experience and a peptalk from the dad he murdered, murders a bunch of goons, and sacrifices himself to save Rey’s life. For this, Rey immediately not only forgives him for the mass kidnappings, genocide, torture and the many times he threatened, gaslit and assaulted her, but immediately kisses him. It’s such a gendered framing of redemption that basically reproduces the views that narcissists and abusers have about relationships: that you can treat others like literal dogshit and redeem yourself with a single grand gesture of self-sacrifice. I’ve talked about the Martyr Dad before on this account, but making it a romantic thing is so much worse. This is the cycle of abuse to a T.

In terms of the Light Side Versus the Dark Side, Star wars has always wanted its cake and to eat it too. On the one hand, it wants to suggest that the Light Side is a fundamentally morally opposed way of living focused on ‘Knowledge and Defense‘, that striking a Sith down in Anger is something the Light Side can not abide, but in the end, the Light Side always wins because the Sith are violently killed. It always feels like a convenient loophole that Darth Vader throws the Emperor into a nearby pit so that Luke doesn’t need to get his hands dirty. All the more so when the resurrected Emperor literally has his own Force Lightning reflected into his face by Rey’s dual wielding two Skywalker Lightsabers+3. It’s cheap. It’s moral sofistry with the gratification of a power fantasy.

You might have noticed I’ve said nothing about my soft boys, Poe and Finn, or Rose Tycho for that matter. That’s because they’re not important to the overarching story. They could easily have been cut from the film without significantly altering the story. They pad the runtime. They’re charming and funny as always and the writers give them stuff to do in every act, but it’s not the A-plot. The story is partially about Kyle Ron having an admittedly well-acted but very hackneyed redemption arc that is sure to please fans of the character but doesn’t involve in any sense an understanding that he has hurt billions of people. His redemption is exclusively about his parents, who are the only people he’s hurt that are worth mentioning in this context. The other part is the revelation that Rey does have a special lineage: she’s Palpatine’s granddaughter. This is why she’s powerful and also why she’s tempted by the dark side. 

If the message of TLJ was ‘we’re all equals in the eyes of the force‘, ROS is basically a massive apology for even entertaining that idea, and reaffirms that all the important characters are related by blood to characters from the original trilogy and all the rest are also there, I guess. If you’ve ever thought that you could be as strong in the force as Luke or Kylo or Rey, you are a fool. After all, your parents weren’t Force Royalty. You thought a person of color or a non-force user could be the key to defeating fascism? You thought main characters could be anything other than straight? Utter simpleton, you. You thought redeeming yourself from mass-murder was difficult, or that the Jedi were flawed just like every other organisation? Nah mate, the bad guys wear black robes and we totally fucked them up with laser swords and heavy ordinance. 

Don’t worry, white hetero superfan looking for a power fantasy that doesn’t challenge your beliefs or moral superiority. Your priorities and fixations are our script editor. We’re sorry, Disney appears to say with this movie, that we would ever suggest there was anything more to Star Wars as a franchise. We promise, she may be a girl, but in all other respects, she’s just like Luke now. Except this time, Luke is hot and totally into your edgy dark side.

Ok, I’m sorry, that’s just the bitter shipper in me. Finn deserved better. He deserved to be a main character. A love interest. His redemption was never fully framed as such, nor did he ever really get credit for being a consistently supportive, relatable, honorable character with the scintillating charisma of John Boyega. Despite being literally raised as a child soldier, he was never seen as a good example of redemption and somehow, he was not considered a main character. This is, I believe, the greatest waste of this trilogy.

Fuck the idea of a Dynasty of the Force. Fuck Eugenics. Fuck this idea that your birth is what makes you powerful. It is weak. It is lazy. It is boring. 

I had such high hopes after Episode VII, despite it being derivative. It appeared in that moment that Finn could be love interest for both Rey and Poe. Perhaps even at the same time! I imagined the climax of this trilogy would be all about Finn growing from a deserter unsure that he could ever make a difference, to becoming a true hero. I imagined the heroes facing the First Order in their darkest hour, when all is lost. I imagined them being rescued by defecting Stormtroopers, painting their helmets with three vertical red stripes in honour of the First Traitor. I imagined my boy Finn leading a legion of traitors, proving that all it takes to defeat fascism is to reject it and inspire others to do the same. 

But of course, that hope was foolish. I shouldn’t have expected good storytelling from a series that pays lip service to non-violence and redemption while handling both as cheap, esthetic elements rather than actual narrative commitments.

[diloph]

Diloph, I don't mean to bring SU discourse to your blog, and I haven't actually watched in a long time, but I was wondering what you think of how the Diamonds have been handled. I'm not against evil people being redeemed, but everyone just being a-ok with them feels off. They're the reason Pink was such a horrible person, they mutilated their own people into forced fusions, and implied genocide. Meanwhile Jasper had to go through hell, even though she was just following the diamonds orders.

It's... a difficult question to answer, really.

I don't think they're irredeemable, though before Pink's “death” (and her subsequent, literal death), it might have proven impossible to find a chink in their self-absorbed way of thinking. I've seen far worse villains being offered redemption with angst and sympathy about them not taking it or what they could be if they did, as well as worse villains actually taking the redemption and making it stick.

Part of me thinks that people struggle to reconcile the idea of the Diamonds being redeemed because of who they are. The Diamonds are the absolute highest authority when it comes to Gem society and all the things that Homeworld has done. Every move they've made that's hurt somebody, unless it was based in individual biases, accidents or coincidence and so on, has come from orders from the Diamonds, or Gems looking to please the Diamonds by fulfilling a function.

They aren't soldiers, or henchmen or superweapons given sentience, they're the top dogs. So far as we're aware, there's nobody above them. They are accountable for everything.

I kinda look back at what Pearl said in an earlier episode, that humans like to rationalise that all the evils of the worlds can be taken to some higher place, some ne'er do-well who can be confronted and defeated, allowing us to live in a place where everything is good forever, or at least until the next one chances their arm.

The Diamonds, particularly White, are those figureheads.

While the specifics are blurry (how many worlds and lifeforms, let alone sentient lifeforms for example) and we don't know how far reaching the consequences are in full, it's clear to me that the Diamonds have done some pretty terrible things. Just their treatment of Pink and their own subjects alone is plenty evidence for them to be marked as evil. In turn, their evil acts inspired or instructed others to do evil acts, with all the consequences that followed.

Enter Steven.

Steven Universe is a show based in optimism and hope; acknowledging that everybody makes mistakes and can be a good person, if they're willing to put the effort in. However, I don't think it pulls any punches when it comes to the fact that it acknowledges that evil and cruelty etcetera are things to be confronted and fought against.

In that sense, the Diamonds are certainly given a lot of leeway. They've perpetuated a system that has caused rampant destruction and suffering, even amongst their own subjects, even amongst themselves and the show believes that they can be redeemed. How? How can they possibly ever account for all the suffering they've caused?

I think the answer to that lies in the fact that Steven, as Pink's son, has the leverage over the Diamonds that Pink never had. He has given them hope after they spent millennia in mourning, hatred and stagnation. Even the mighty White Diamond, arguably the most powerful being in the universe, will bend over backwards to please Steven, even in the slightest way, just if it keeps him around, just if he can fill the void that Pink left behind.

That in mind, we're faced with another question. What happens when Steven dies? 100 years after that? 1000? 10000? Even longer than that? What's to stop them from shrugging their shoulders and just starting up the colonies again?

The answer, is of course, we don't know. We don't know if the Diamonds are simply biding their time, smiling through their teeth, until Steven carks it and then it's back to razing civilisations they go, but given the general tone of the series, I doubt that Steven Universe is as cynical as that.

It's certainly not realistic. People do that all the time. But equally people do monstrous things, realise that they have done monstrous things and then try to account for them. Whether they can or not is subjective, but equally it's just as unrealistic to believe that absolutely nobody would ever do the right thing because they've done the wrong thing, or have remorse and regret over their actions.

Steven Universe is an escapist fantasy series about a magical boy and his magical rock mothers and their cool adventures. It's not to say that the issues can't be addressed ever, but people are far, far too cynical about it; I think that we're meant to it, to believe that such a world could come to pass if we tried hard enough. Wouldn't it be great if we could get through to everybody with a smile, a song and a speech? That people who have done great misdeeds can make up for them?

Ultimately, the Diamonds have made the first step. They want to interact with Steven and as a result, they are capable of feeling empathy (though whether they lacked it before or had simply repressed it or were even simply ignorant to the suffering of “lesser” beings because of how they were made) and the test will come as life goes on. We may never see that effort in full, hell, Steven may never see that in his lifetime, but he hopes that they can change.

It's not without evidence. Blue speaks at length about it before White Diamond assumes direct control of her. White gives up when Pink Steven knocks her down and unites with Flesh Steven to make good ol' Regular Steven, beyond throwing a tantrum for a bit. They go to Earth and help to uncorrupt some of the many Gems that they're responsible for harming. By the movie, even their Pearls, who are meant to be sycophantic slaves, programmed for that even, have enough freedom of speech to snort and sneer at their former god-empress.

A lot of willpower has went into them making changes, prompted by Steven or not and things are looking bright so far. If they really wanted to, the Diamonds could answer to absolutely nobody. For the longest time, they believed that they were all-powerful, immortal and invulnerable. Prior to the war on Earth, it was believed that Diamonds couldn't be shattered. Now that we know the circumstances behind it, for all we know, they can't be shattered at all.

Even making them retreat into their Gem is hard enough; Yellow couldn't poof Blue (though, again, whether she was trying to and not capable remains to be seen) and Pink needed to be “shattered” with a specialised weapon to poof her.

Oh, sure, people are quick to rally around the Breaking Point, but they forget that it was never used against anybody, let alone the Diamonds. We don't even know how practical it would've been to use in battle, after all, the only person using it and knew how it worked intimately was defeated by a child with a sword while he was trying to run away.

Whether the Breaking Point or indeed anything could kill a Diamond, so far, the only weapon that has even came close to inhibiting a Diamond's Gem was Spinel's Rejuvenator, but I'd argue that's a moot point. Even if the Diamonds could be fought, defeated and contained through struggle or the efforts of some Super Fusion, it might not be possible for them to account for their crimes in a way that deprives them of their lives.

Incarceration or bubbling might work, but they could always be freed. How long do bubbles last, how long would it be until a mistake frees one of them or loyalists free these immortal and unkillable beings?

Conventional methods of “dealing” with the Diamonds are entirely speculative and until Rebecca introduces something like “Diamond Smasher” missile platforms, invented by Peridot and Bismuth collaborating, I would hazard that Steven's method of influencing these Gem matriarchs is probably the best in the long run.

The effort he's going to isn't to destroy the Diamonds, it's to save them and in turn, the people they could hurt if they were allowed to continue on. The people that they have hurt, to allow them to recover. To make them into better people that will feel guilt and remorse for their actions, try to account for them by protecting all life they come across for the rest of time, to the fullest of their abilities. If they are immortal then they require an immortal solution.

It doesn't mean that those they hurt (and are alive and are still capable of thought, because man the things that people can do to others in real life are fucked up enough, let alone in magic sci-fi land) are going to forgive them. Why should they? They are the victims, they have been hurt. Turning the Diamonds into better people is to stymie more people getting hurt, to account for that damage they caused. It may never be enough, it can never be enough, but it's better than nothing and it's certainly better than the opposite.

Who knows how the Diamond's saga will end? Actually, no, stupid question; Rebecca Sugar, probably, but as for the rest of us, we're in the dark. Will the Diamonds step down as leaders, even as figureheads, of Homeworld? Will they leave their species in order to make a fresh start in some new quadrant of the universe where they can help others and those that they've hurt don't have to look at them? Will they depart unannounced one day and sit on a ship, gathering dust, for all eternity? Would they even try to kill themselves if the guilt got too strong?

To sum it up, I don't know. I want to believe the best in people, that everybody can account for their actions to some degree because I'm a bit of an optimist, but I realise that there are some things that can't be forgiven or absolved or made up for or whatever. But, maybe, in that universe, they can. Maybe they can heal the Cluster? Maybe they can help every single shard? Rebuild every ruined life? Its nature as a lighter shade of a complicated universe means that there is potential and there is hope to do so.

And now that we're in Steven Universe Future, it's clear that the Diamonds aren't being absolved of all sin. Pearl assumes that White Diamond was the one behind Volleyball's (no, sorry, can't do it) Pink Pearl's damage and she's furious. When she realises it was Pink, she's shocked and disturbed, but is still supportive of her older counterpart. She doesn't hesitate to comfort her or when Steven snaps, defend Pink Pearl against her own son. She recognises that the person she'd loved did a terribly fucked up thing, intentional or not and moves to comfort the victim.

Steven finds their attentions exhaustive in the movie, though that is probably down to spending so much time with them and investing so much effort in getting them to change, leading him to leave them abruptly despite their pleas to stay (and resume his post so to speak, but probably just as much for the company). When they appear at the end, Steven, who has had a rough day, doesn't particularly sweet-talk them into going so much as flat out telling White that he wasn't crazy about them living on Earth, even as White tries the dramatic grandma act.

It's probably why I'm a lot more kind on the ending of the film having Spinel leave with the Diamonds. They both need somebody to help them with their problems and they sort of fill the niche that they each want from the other, while acknowledging that it isn't going to be as it was before and that they aren't the person who they are replacing. They will try.

(And for the record, if things go to hell, Spinel can take care of herself. In fact, I'd worry more about the Diamonds pissing off her than the other way around, she's a smart cookie.)

Honestly, it's the layers of complexity that Steven Universe has that makes a simple question like the one posited kinda difficult to answer. Referring back to that, Jasper for example, why does it seem like she's having to work super hard for a redemption? The answer is that she's pretty complex too.

From what I've read and seen about Jasper, her biggest failing is that she's Gem Vegeta meant to be this perfect super soldier, indestructible and unbeatable. She was built to fight and relishes battle, loves any opportunity to prove that. She takes pride in her abilities because she was literally the best type of gem to do them and was born as a flawless being in Gem eyes. She fulfils her function and she's equipped to do so with maximum efficiency.

Naturally, to quote the saying, pride goeth before the fall. Jasper's hangup is that she does not cope with failure well; she acknowledges that it happens, but constantly rails against it. New strategies, new tactics... new excuses for her failure. New people to blame.

Jasper's biggest failing is that she believes that, despite being the perfect Quartz soldier, she was also born a failure. The colony failed and their leader, a Diamond, was destroyed by the rebels that she went toe-to-toe with and could not beat. She failed in protecting the being that she was most loyal to... and that failure haunts her.

When it came time to bail and nuke Earth from orbit, Jasper was left without a chance to avenge Pink, settle the score and find closure. No matter what she did and was that she failed Pink Diamond and everything else from thereon in was a failure as a result.

But failure was something that imperfect, flawed Gems did. Failure was something that you'd expect from some know-it-all Peridot, getting too big for her boots. Not her. Not the perfect Quartz. The perfect Quartz won any and every battle it was deployed in, shattered every enemy it faced. And, wasn't she the perfect Quartz? Didn't Homeworld call her a war hero? Didn't Yellow Diamond herself take her into her court while all the others of her Kindergarten get relegated to some dusty relic in space?

In a way, Jasper fell into her own legend. She had an idealised version of herself that she knew, subconsciously, that she could never truly be. This self-hatred drove out all of her positive traits, save for determination and reinforced her negative ones. It overshadowed her when Steven tried to help her, because accepting the help would make her weak and she despised being weak.

It's also the character niche that she fills too. Jasper was the first enemy that the Crystal Gems faced that didn't appear sympathetic on the surface. She was more directly involved in the plot than the Diamonds were for a long time, they were distant figures who had orchestrated the war. Now, here was an antagonist that worked on a more personal level by targeting “Rose” and “her” fellows directly.

Jasper despised weakness and when faced with the Crystal Gems in person, all she saw was weakness. A random Pearl that got it into her head that she was free to do whatever she liked while Jasper and everybody else followed orders. Some fusion between two Gems of completely different classes, outright heretical. This... malformed, tiny Quartz that came from the same place as her, could have been a functioning soldier like Jasper or worse, Jasper like her.

Even then she could shrug that off. They were clearly some rag-tag band of survivors from Homeworld's attack, they just got lucky. Have Peridot annihilate them with the ship and be done with it. But hey, at least Rose Quartz is dead, even if she didn't get the satisfaction of shattering her. Killing the last of the rebels was still closure, of a sort.

But as events unfolded, to Jasper, it seemed like Rose Quartz wasn't dead at all. Her greatest enemy, Homeworld's Most Wanted, Rose Quartz... was hiding behind her soldiers, in the body of and mimicking the simpering attitude of a human child.

Rose who she respected the tactics of. Rose who found a way to kill a perfect being. Now a weakling. These were the people that defeated Homeworld. Shattered a Diamond, her Diamond. These were the people that defeated her. But if they were so weak, wouldn't that make her even weaker?

No. That was impossible. She would prove it by taking them down, making them account for their crimes.

So, Jasper became obsessed with taking down the Crystal Gems by any means necessary. Anything she could justify to prove that she was the strongest, that she could think on her feet, that she was successful and everything that she was made to be.

Had you told the Jasper in “The Return” that she would be out in the Earth wilderness, trying to put together a motley crew of corrupted Gems in “Earthlings”, she'd have laughed you out of the room or killed you for even implying she could fall so low, fail so hard. But she could reason with herself that if her enemy was going to “cheat”, why shouldn't she?

Fusion went from a “Cheap tactic” to a viable weapon; Malachite gave her all the power in the world, if she could only use it. Rose Quartz had her misfit army, so Jasper forged her own, giving these lost individuals purpose again, just like she did. If it were her in the same situation, she would be grateful... except she wouldn't be in that situation because she was perfect.

Except she wasn't perfect. Jasper kept failing. In fact, that's all she ever seemed to do on the planet of her birth: fail. So, her loathing grew. She couldn't fail, so she would just try something else. Whatever it took.

And all those failings kept coming. Starting off by going against the orders to check on the Cluster in favour of carting Rose back to civilisation despite protests only got her ship destroyed and both her and Peridot marooned on a hostile planet. Garnet matched her and defeated her. Lapis trapped her in a fusion. Alexandrite defeated Malachite, Lapis refused her, she lost against Stevonnie despite having “backup” and trouncing Amethyst. Then, against Smoky Quartz, she met her downfall by fusing with one of the corrupted Gems, infecting her as well.

Jasper's hell was that most of it was a result of her failure to back down. She might not have deserved to be held by Lapis in Malachite, but she didn't exactly have many other people to blame for forming the massive Fusion when her sole objective was to murder the Crystal Gems. When she got control of Malachite, she went straight to murder. When they were separated, she went to Lapis so that she could get the power back that eliminated her weakness so that she could murder. She built an army to lead against the Crystal Gems because she wanted to murder them. She poofed Amethyst with the intent to shatter her. She fused with a corrupted monster because she wanted to murder Smoky Quartz.

Jasper had a spectacular talent of getting herself into messes because she can't let go of hatred and the need to cause harm. Granted, that is as a result of her attempt to heal her own wounds, prove to herself that she isn't a failure, but she's still trying to kill our protagonists and a lot of the time, laughing as she does it.

When, finally, Jasper is at her lowest, corrupting and abandoned by her feral army of monsters, she rejects Steven's help. Why should she accept it when she sees the truth of it all; that Rose Quartz manipulates the weak and abandoned Gems, giving them purpose again. Makes them all into bodies to put between her and the forces of Homeworld under the guise of love and caring.

To accept help is weak. She refuses to believe that she is weak, but at the same time, knows that she is. Jasper has struggled with that dichotomy for all of her existence and it kills her. She's trapped in her own logic. If she accepts help, then she proves herself to be a weakling. But if she fights against it, then that proves that she is strong. Strong enough not to break down or corrupt.

Ultimately, this attitude gets the character put on hiatus, poofed and bubbled. When we see her cured in Rose's Fountain at the end of the original series' run, she still hasn't learned the lesson. She has a moment of confusion at where she is, then she sees Steven. Crash Helmet activated, Jasper moves in to fight... then spots Yellow Diamond glancing at her out of the side of her eye. Sees Blue and even the mighty White Diamond sitting there in the water.

All around them, Gems she knew, Gems she didn't, Homeworld and Crystal Gems all talking and laughing and hugging and healing from this corruption. Even the Crystal Gem that she'd went out of her way to rile up the most, Amethyst, gently reassures her as the truth hits her.

Jasper was made for fighting and the fighting is over. It shakes her a lot. Suddenly, everything she's hated herself for is moot. She's left without a purpose.

When we see her in Future, time has passed and it's clear she's still struggling with the hatred, because all she has known through most of her existence was that hatred. It is a part of her. She's beginning to recover slowly, make a change, but she's not there yet.

In the time that's passed, we know things have changed a lot. Given how dismissive Amethyst is towards the concept of Jasper joining Little Homeschool, any attempt to connect with her fellow Quartz has been unsuccessful at best. Jasper is still turning down help.

When Steven wanders over, she begrudgingly explains that she's listless. The fighting is over, so all she has is to prepare for the next war, if there even is one. She still sees herself as something to be proud of, something to be held above others, so she removes herself from the other Gems and lives in solitude. Any organic life on her territory is eradicated with no mercy, even if it's a frustrating inconvenience.

And as Steven isn't Pink, she doesn't have to treat him like a Diamond, even if the others do (out of misunderstanding or genuine gratitude for saving them or simply making him synonymous with a Diamond). I get the view that she finds him insufferable or at the very least annoying, because now she's getting the “peace and love” speech in person every so often and can't really do anything about it.

After she bemoans that nobody is willing to fight her anymore, Steven calls her out on the fact that she has done this to herself. She keeps refusing help because she's too mired in her ways, too proud to let herself be “weak” again. Hence why she's living in a cave in the woods, only marginally better than when she was trying to recruit corrupted Gems to take down Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl.

Of course, Jasper blows this off and ignores him until Steven agrees to do the one thing she wants, just so he can get through to her. He'll fight her. It's like switch is flicked. Jasper expresses genuine happiness and anticipation. She can do what she's good at again! She can relive the glory days for this one moment! Prove to herself that she wasn't weak for losing in a fair fight for once!

And she loses. The fight is fair, it's really one on one as she'd requested, but she loses. That's because she slips into her old habits of dissecting what she sees as weakness and once again, it costs her the battle.

To her, Steven always had backup to take her down, so even now, with all his powers, he's still no match for the orange Gem. However, when Steven gets mad and goes pink he completely flattens her.

But the biggest difference in all of this is that even though she doesn't win the fight, like she believed she might have, Jasper succeeds in getting what she wanted and getting something else out of Steven. She wanted a good fight and got one. Even though he beats her, he's showing physical strength now, anger and annoyance... he's just as flawed as everybody else is. He challenged her to a fair fight and she lost that fair fight because he was the stronger opponent. No “tricks”, just brawling. How it was meant to work.

She even scolds him for apologising for knocking her around because she got to live again. When Steven asks Jasper to tutor him, to show him how to harness his aggressive feelings, good... gooooood, young Skywalker new powers, she does what the earlier Jasper would never do. She gets on his level and gently lets him down.

That's a huge step. She recognises that she can respect Steven, even slightly. Sure, she might not be into what he's selling most of the time, but she realised that there is some common ground for the two, just enough to engage with him for a moment. She's progressing.

So, in conclusion, what's the difference between their arcs? The Diamonds committed terrible crimes, but unlike Jasper, they seem to be taking steps to change and become better people by recognising that they've done wrong. When called out on how they treated Pink and the other Gems, they turned within the (admittedly hour long) episode. Blue Diamond tried to reason with Yellow, then both of them with White and finally, White. They had the will to change because they realised their actions had consequences and will, hopefully, be able to account in some way for the things they have done.

Jasper, on the other hand, doesn't have such grave crimes to account for, but for her, everything was much more personal, much more cerebral. She refused to give in because not only was she determined, but she was actively trying to thwart her own self-hatred by succeeding. Jasper didn't see what she did was wrong, I'm still unsure if she does now, but she's finally started on the path to healing now because she's finally found something of worth from a Crystal Gem, even if said Crystal Gem isn't in the healthiest place right now.

Speaking of, her remarks about Steven were pretty on point as we see later in Future. Steven is worried about everybody not needing him any more and he lashes out as a result. Maybe part or indeed a large chunk of Jasper's redemption will be seeing the same self-loathing she experienced grow in Steven and empathising with him and trying to help him, given that the seeds of respect were beginning to form between them. And hey, given her ability to diagnose psychological issues in a heartbeat, she might have a career in that later on, as unlikely as it sounds. Little Homeschool is always recruiting.

The fact is that while I believe that both the Diamonds and Jasper have a long way to go when it comes to redemption, either to account for the magnitude of their crimes for the former or to finally accept help from others, putting one's own demons to rest in the case of the latter, they've started off the whole process with Steven's help. It may be slow and difficult for them, but they have a chance to make themselves and by extension, their whole world, better.

And isn't that what Steven Universe is about?

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia fic: a song of ice and water

chapter 2

author's note: ok so. game of thr*nes AU. we'll see how it goes...???? idk rn im into it lmao. ok enjoyyyy<333

*

The dinner hall of Winterfell was bustling with people, all gathering to greet Juvia of Riverrun. The people of the north were known to be a little more on the wild side, so the party was rambunctious to say the least, and thankfully no one could hear the relentless rain outside due to all the noise.

Gray watched at the head table as his people laughed, drank, and ate to their heart's content. He felt a swell of pride as he gazed upon them. He knew they were technically not his yet, but they would be one day, and that was more than enough for him.

He looked over at his bride-to-be with reluctance, and felt slightly guilty from feeling disdain for her. Just as he looked with content among his people, he wished he could be fighting for them. He was sure she didn't want to be there just as much as him, but still, he couldn't help it.

Gray looked down at her plate and saw it was hardly touched, and she was staring out into the crowd of people with numbness in her eyes.

"Do you not like the food?" Gray asked. "We prepared lots of fish tonight, since it's a staple cuisine of The Riverlands."

Juvia jumped a bit, seeming to break from a daze. "Forgive me, My Lord. Juvia just feels a bit sick from all the traveling. Not very hungry." She forced a smile.

Gray curiously raised his brow, hearing her speak in the third person. "You can call me Gray."

"Oh." She blushed. "Alright, Gray." Her words seemed so empty and lifeless.

"Winterfell is beautiful." She said after a brief pause. "Juvia took a small walk through the courtyard."

"Why do you speak in third person?" Gray said crassly.

"My apologies, Gray. It's a childhood habit that seemed to stick." She apologized, as insincere as ever. Her face showed no emotion, just as her words, and she had yet to make eye contact with Gray.

He exhaled and stood from the table, quickly fed up. "Right, well, there's no use in forcing this god-awful small talk. Excuse me, Lady Juvia." Gray sarcastically bowed, rolled his eyes, and walked away, leaving Juvia wide-eyed, and it was the first bit of sincere emotion she'd shown since arriving at Winterfell.

Gray found a table nearby where Lyon sat. "Good gods, man, talking to her is lile pulling teeth." Gray slumped over in a seat and took a hefty swig of Lyon's wine.

Lyon looked at him with precarious eyes. "Uh, I don't think the Lord of Winterfell is supposed to leave the head table during the feast."

"The 'Lord of Winterfill' can do whatever the hell he wants." Gray growled.

"You won't be a very good lord with that attitude." Lyon snorted.

"Oh, quit the teasing, Lyon, I'm dying over there!" Gray shoved his head in between his hands. "It's blatantly obvious that neither of us want to be here with each other!"

"You've known her for six hours. Five of which you spent separately. I don't think you're exactly giving this a fair shot." Lyon tried his best to be a voice of reason.

"Maybe, but how am I supposed to give it a fair shot when we're practically destined to hate each other." He said, desperately.

"I'm sorry, do we have different definitions of 'marriage'? It's a symbol of love."

"Yeah, not arranged marriages. Those never go well, and history is to show for that." Gray combed the oils out of his hair with his fingers, bringing it back to its normal messy texture.

"So you've known her for an evening and you already hate her?" Lyon asked, trying his best to get Gray to see how dramatic he was being.

"Ergh!" Gray grunted with frustration. "No, I don't hate her! But I wouldn't say I like her either. Her father's the reason I'm stuck in this castle in the first place."

"Well, it's a good thing you're not marrying her father, then." Lyon gave a smug smirk.

"Quit being a smartass." Gray spat.

"Look," Lyon got lower to the table to match Gray. "Instead of sulking over here and throwing yourself a pity party, why don't you just give her a chance. You don't have to fall in love with her. No one's expecting that of you, trust me. But you can at least get along with one another. Maybe even become friends. Just make the best of what you have."

Gray paused to take in Lyon's words, but they didn't seem to work all that much. "I didn't really come over here for advice, ya know. Just wanted to steal your booze." Gray swiped Lyon's cup, downing the rest of the wine.

"You ass." Lyon rolled his eyes.

"That's Lord Ass, to you." Gray stood from the table.

"Whatever. Go back and talk with your beautiful bride before I snatch her up for myself." Lyon smirked.

Gray hit his arm before walking away. "Shut up."

As he made his way back to the table, he noticed Juvia wasn't there anymore. He stopped in his stride and curiously looked around the room, wondering where she could have possibly gone.

~

Juvia could have sworn the servant told her to make the first left- or- was it the second? Everything in that damned castle looked exactly the same, and it was all so big. She would be lucky if she didn't pee herself before finding a bathroom.

"Well, well, if it isn't The Rain Woman." Three guards made their way out from one of the halls.

"Good evening, My Lords." Juvia nodded. "Could one of you please escort me to a bathroom? Juvia's seemed to have lost her way." She forced another sweet grin, hoping to get kindness in return.

"You're to be the next Lady of Winterfell and you can't even find yourself a chamber pot?" The guards got closer, and she could smell wine masking them.

Juvia hummed a false chuckle. "Pardon, My Lords. Juvia just hasn't become familiar with the castle yet."

"Ya' know,'" The third guard spoke. "Winterfell doesn't get much rain."

Juvia was finding herself against a wall.

"You're right, Clayton." The first said. "So how the fuck is this place supposed to handle constant rain, 24/7?"

"Well," Juvia cleared her throat, trying her best to not let her nervousness show. "Riverrun adjusted just fine to it."

"I'm sure, My Lady, but Winterfell isn't known for bein' wet like where you're from." They were all closing in.

"So how are we supposed to get anything done with you floodin' this damn place? Everything will be thrown into chaos with you around." They were clearly not happy with Juvia being there.

"Sers," Juvia used her magic, and engulfed her hands in water, ready to use them as weapons, and they backed up a bit. "Juvia just wants to find the bathroom, and return to the feast. Juvia does not want any trouble." Her eyes were fierce, and she was ready for a fight if it was to happen.

"We know you're a fearsome little lady, but you're not in The Riverlands anymore. Soldiers of Winterfell won't go so easy on 'ya." All three guards propped up their hands, and used their magic to make swords of ice.

"Lord Fullbuster will not be happy if he finds his future wife hurt." Juvia said through gritted teeth.

"But, My Lady, he doesn't even want ya' here in the first place." The guard chuckled. "He wants to be fighting in the war, as he should. If anything, we'd be doing him a favor."

One of the guards swung his sword down at her, and Juvia had her arms more than ready to block it, but she felt a quick gust, and in the blink of an eye, Gray was standing in front of her, blocking the sword with his arm that was coated in ice.

"I'll be the one deciding whether I want her here or not. That's none of your concern." His eyes pierced right through the guard.

"My Lord-"

"And actually, come to think of it, I don't recall ordering any of my men to kill my wife." The guard finally put down his sword, and Gray's arm returned back to skin.

"She's a hindrance, My Lord! You know that just as much as me!"

"You know what I know? I know that an attempt to murder is not only a crime, but an attempt to muder a noblewoman, let alone a future noblewoman of Winterfell, is treason." His voice was just as sharp as his ice.

"My Lord-"

"And during times of war, I certainly don't want any traitors lurking in my castle." Juvia at that point had just realized Gray was using his free arm to shield her, and that arm remained there after all this time.

"Guards! Guards!" Gray shouted, and six men from other halls of the castle approached. "Throw these men into cells. I'll decide what to do with that after council with my advisors." Gray said simply. He wrapped an arm around Juvia and guided her away from the scene.

"Lord Fullbuster, wait! Please!" All the guards shouted, but Gray and Juvia could hear the sounds of them being taken away in the distance.

Once they turned another corner, Gray stopped and placed his hands on Juvia's shoulders, looking at her intently. "Are you hurt?"

"N-no, Gray-sama." Juvia's eyes were still wide. Not from the ambush, but for Gray's intervention.

"Gray-sama?" He questioned. "I told you, you don't have to call me any formalities."

"J-Juvia knows, but, well, it's out of respect. It feels right." She couldn't help a blush spread on her cheeks.

Gray shrugged. "If you say so." He began walking again, and Juvia followed right behind. "Anyway, I'm sorry." Gray muttered.

"You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault. Plus, Juvia could have certainly handled them, anyway."

"Yeah, I know. I've heard all the stories. It's just-- I dunno'-- I just wanted to help you. Didn't feel right to let you take them all on your own when I was right there and could easily put an end to it." He explained, piecing together his thought process.

Juvia couldn't help but stammer in her tracks a bit. No one ever really stood up for her before. At Riverrun, people always tried their best to steer clear of her. Everyone thought she was cursed, due to her rain, and she acquired the name "Rain Woman." She was like some urban legend, like it was a sin to even say her name. It wasn't her fault she was born with this dreaded curse, and she hated that it defined her life.

No one bothered to try to get close to her, not even her father. In her alone time, all she could do was train, so that was what she did. People knew she was strong, but what they didn't know was how lonely she always was, and how much she yearned for someone's care an affection.

"W-well," She blushed. "Thank you, Gray-sama."

Gray just responded with a shrug, but that was more than enough for Juvia.

As they were about to enter the feast once again, they passed a window, and it was quiet. Juvia never heard quiet like this before in her life. Was something wrong? Were her ears playing some sort of trick on her? She immediately stopped once they were at the window. It was dark, but still, what she was seeing and hearing was indisputable.

"What's wrong?" Gray realized she'd stopped and turned around.

"The rain." Her voice was airy, as the wind had just been completely knocked out if her. After the inital stun, and once she processed what she was about to stay, tears rushed to her eyes. It was silent. The outside world was silent. It was the best noise she'd ever heard in her life. She turned to Gray, teary-eyed and shocked.

She felt her throat close as thr words tried to come out, almost like her body was telling her to stop because it was too good to be true. Finally, she found her voice, even though it was almost a whisper.

"It stopped."

[lareinenoir]

∆Milk and Honey∆ Tom Hiddleston x Black! Female Reader •PART 1/?•

TWHiddleston > Y/N-St. John413

Dear Ms. St. John,

I had the greatest pleasure of meeting your agent last night in London a couple of weeks back. He tracked down my publicist and said you had an amazing script I just had to read. I know I am about a month late and I give you my sincerest apology.

As you may know, I am looking for a screenwriter for my first movie I'm going to direct and produce. Sadly the search has come to an end because I already found one. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that you'll be stuck with me. I have chosen your script for my first movie.

Hopefully, you'll give me the honor of turning your script into a million dollar movie. If you could email me back as soon as possible, that would be very much appreciated.

Yours truly,

Tom

Y/N-St.John413 > TWHiddleston

Mr. Hiddleston,

You have no idea how excited I am! I couldn't be any happier to receive your email. It would be my honor to have you produce and direct my script.

I have been waiting for my big break and its finally here. Thank you so much for even considering reading it.

I'm so excited to be working with you.

TWHiddleston>Y/N-St.John413

Ms. St. John,

I am very excited to be working with you too. Again, your script was absolutely brilliant. I'd love to chat more about it when we meet in person. I ask you to keep a lock and key around this whole operation. I don't want the public to jinx it before it has already begun.

To keep from checking emails all the time, I'll leave my publicist number below. I'd like to see when is the earliest flight I can get you to London. Don't worry about cost I'll fly you out here and buy you a hotel room for however long you need it.

Only the best for my new screenwriter!

Hope to see you soon,

Tom

And here you were. Outside his house. His house! Tom freaking Hiddleston's house! You didn't know if you were under dressed or over dresses. You decided to wear one of your suits. Pam said the black and white one looked great. Hopefully, it was enough to impress Tom.

"Y/N?" Ask Luke, Tom's publicist. You look in his direction and see your hand is shaking. "You've been standing at the curb for over ten minutes."

"I'm sorry, Luke." You Said rubbing your lips together. "I uh-well-you see I'm just-erm-"

"It's ok. Tom isn't a monster. He won't bite." Look said making you giggle and the train of nerves disappear.

"Thank you. I ain't never been this nervous before."

"Don't think about the nerves, ok? Just walk in and...be you. Be the girl-woman from Mayfield, Alabama who wrote that script."

"Right. For Mayfield..."

"I would go in with you, but I have a meeting. Break a leg." Luke gets back in the limo and your feet start heading towards the front door.

Pushing your glasses up on your nose, you knock hesitantly and see the doorknob rattle. "I'm coming, I'm coming." Says a voice behind the door. Stepping back and squeezing the strap of your crossbody bag. When the door swings open, you were greeted by a woman holding a broom.

"Hi."

"Oh!"

"Sorry, ma'am-"

"You must be Tom's guests. Come in, come in." She rushes you through the door with a hand on your back. "I was just in the middle of sweeping. Tom is upstairs taking a shower, but you can go on into his office." She told you pointing down the hall, behind the staircase. "Its the one with the blue curtains. He'll be with you shortly."

"Thank you." You say, but see shes already off sweeping. Turning back around, your heels click against the hardwood floor and you push the doors open and quickly gasp. "Sweet mother of Jesus." You whisper. "This ain't no office." You chuckle.

When you first walked in there was a giant living room with nice clean, cream-colored couches and blue curtains. It looked wide, but the couches looked lonely. Not a crease or a shoe print in them. But standing here in the office...Remarkable.

"I've never seen so many books." You whisper starting to pull some off the shelves. Tom had every book of Game Of Thrones. Even the very first one!

You fingers cross one on the shelf and it was one of your favorites. The Iliad. Without hesitating, you snatch it off the shelf and flip the pages. You loved the Iliad. It was the start of the great Trojan War. What wasn't there to love.

"Its a good read."

Your hands lift and the book goes flying in the air. "Oh!" You shout as your heart beat quickly. Standing a couple feet away from you, leaning on the door was Tom Hiddleston.

Tom freaking Hiddleston. A nervous lump kept you from breathing as he rushed to you. His hand on the small of your back as you stared at him wide-eyed, trying to find a way to catch your breath.

"Gee, I'm terribly sorry." He chuckles giving you a friendly smile. "I did not mean to scare you. Are you alright."

"You scared the living crap out of me." You mutter reaching for the book and holding it out to him. "I'm sorry about the book. I didn't-"

"Nonsense. It was my fault." He interrupts and your heart slowed down a bit, mostly because he was just smiling and talking in a calm voice. And the fact that he was wearing a rather clingy sweater and the traces of his abs looked fantastic

"Its nice to meet you Mr. Hiddleston. You have no idea how much...how much working for you means to me." He shakes your hand and it was warm, except for the little water dripping off his hair that landed on your hand.

"Tom, please. And we are working together. A producer/Director need to be on the same page as the writer. I have so many questions for you Ms. St.-"

"Y/N. You can call me Y/N."

"Y/N." He nods "I like that name."

Looking down you thank him and then he continues, "Y/N, I have so many questions about your script. I read it three or four times. Is it ok if I ask them?"

"Sure. Fire away." You answer pushing up your glasses as he leads you to the couch. You scooted over expecting Tom to sit next to you but he sat across from you on the other couch.

"So Milk and Honey is obviously set in the 1920s, right. Ok, I guess my first question is why the 1920s?"

"Personally it's my favorite era. The fashion and crime it was all just really close to home. Mayfield was found in the 1920s by a mobster looking for a place to start his drug trade. From Mayfield he went all over the US, shipping his drugs."

"Wow! That's very interesting."

"I know its not a great founding story-"

"No its better. Most of the founding stories center around crops. Mayfield sounds amazing."

"We don't sell drugs anymore." You laugh "We are now known for our pineapples. We have pineapple fields everywhere in Mayfield. Best in the US if I do say so myself."

"Then I better try one then."

You both laugh again and you can't help but feel giddy because right across from you was Tom Hiddleston. Talking to you well, you talk to him like you had known each other for years.

"So, Warren and Celeste. I love how you wrote their chemistry. I could feel it coming off the paper. It was so real. They say the writer leaves a bit of themselves in their story. Forgive me for being so front but, did you base it off you?"

He went straight for it. What should I say? The truth! Duh.

"In a way I did. My growing up wasn't the best. My ma gave me up when I was five to her grandmother, my great grandma and I was raised by her. I thought bringing in a character who felt lonely like I did would help their growth. But I mostly based it off my Gran. She was a very good singer and not all the time she was allowed to sing in public. They'd make her use the back door to get into places and she'd sing for not even a quarter for what the stars in Hollywood get paid for nowadays."

"I think thats what I liked most about your script." Said Tom and he was studying your face. "It felt real. I want the film to feel real and for people to feel connected. You can show anything on a screen but it takes one hell of an actor to put that much passion to turn a script into a movie."

You smile trying to break eye contact with his heavenly blue eyes. He was being very poetic and it made your heartburn with excitement.

"Tea time!" Said a voice, rolling in a tray of tea. "Early Grey for you, Tom and I chosen green tea for our guest."

"Thank you, Mrs. Gaynes." Said Tom and she slid her way out of the office. "Y/N, do you drink tea?"

"Does sweet tea count?" You ask and then nod your head quickly, so he knew you were joking. "I do. Call me weird but Ginger tea is my favorite."

"Ginger!" He exclaimed as if he didn't believe you. "Points for you." Tom winked

Drinking tea and eating finger sandwiches gave you and Tom both the opportunity to ask him questions and make small chit chat. You didn't realize how long you'd been sitting in his office talking.

You learned Tom always wanted to be behind the camera.

"I always liked the idea of being in charge. Being the man behind the camera and seeing my name on something I worked hard on."

"A man in charge." You smirk taking a sip of tea. "Sounds bossy. In a good way, I mean."

"Y/N, I want you to meet the rest of the team. I'm hosting a bit of a get-together and I'd really like you to meet all the sponsors.''

"Sounds great. What's the dress attire? I don't wanna be overdressed like I am today."

"Overdressed? Not at all. You look great. Come as you are." He tells you and you smile at him.

British charm...how charming!

"As much as I enjoyed talking to you," his eyes scan his phone. "I have another meeting." Tom stands and puts his teacup down.

"Right. I had better get back to the hotel anyway. I have to unpack and call my folks back home to tell them I'm still alive."

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He extends his hand for you to take and you slide your hand into his. "Do you have a ride back to the hotel?"

"No, but I can walk. Luke didn't tell me how close the hotel was to your house."

"Walking? The weather changes at night. Allow me to drive you."

"Really, you don't have too. I don't want you to be late for your meeting."

"Let me drive you, Y/N. My mum wouldn't be very happy if she found out I had the opportunity to drive a lady home and didn't do it."

"Your momma raised you right." You told him

Instead of letting go of your hand, he slipped it into his arm, escorting you to the front door. You felt your face get hot and you couldn't stop smiling at the ground. Tom walked you to the car and held open the door for you.

"Thank you."

A couple minutes later you are outside the hotel and Tom rushes to open the door for you. "Shall I walk you up?"

"No. You did quite enough already by buying me a plane ticket here. I think you should get going. It was nice to finally meet you in person."

"You too. Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight Tom." You wave heading to open the door to the lobby.

Tom Hiddleston was no southern gentleman. He was a British gentleman. So the tingly, warm feeling growing in your stomach was nothing. Nothing at all.

He was like that to everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @tell-me-a-poem @thatweirdwalangpake @schizonephilim @hisparadox @nirvanaslovechild @empressoftheundergroundsun @inlovewith3 @smartiedork @naughtybaroness30 @fanfictionaffair @nobodynobodynobodynob @gerli49 @spookytyphoonbouquetsblog @angelicvixenn @wtficantfindausernam

[kyojuuros]

Zeke, Eren, Hanji :D

I’m gonna throw these under a cut since there are three of them! haha

Zeke-

Why I like them: 420 stoner older brother meme daddy who just wants a damn pony. Okay but seriously, I love that he’s a very complex and sympathetic antagonist. His backstory really tugged at my heart and I can’t help but feel badly for him despite everything that he’s done. All the while, he continues to be a giant dork, always burning himself on something or trying to make heavy situations seem lighter. I enjoyed the mystery he was shrouded in for much of the story, and I was happy to find that he actually wasn’t some infallible 4D chess master genius all along, that his goal is rather simple and born from a place of hurt. He’s very interesting, and I can’t wait to see how his story ends. 

Why I don’t: Despite being best meme boi, he has done some pretty awful and unforgivable things to characters who absolutely didn’t deserve it. He is sympathetic and I still have some hope left for him, but his treatment of the Eldian people, the notion that he doesn’t wholly view them as humans worthy of dignity, but rather poor creatures who need to be pitied and whose fates he’s decided on his own, is something quite terrifying and unsettling. Even if he has redemption in the end, it’s good if the narrative doesn’t actually forgive his crimes entirely. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Chapter 114, absolutely. Seeing what makes him tick and how he was raised broke me. 

Favorite season/movie: The final arc is currently the one I’m finding I enjoy him in the most. 

Favorite line: “I will inherit the beast titan. Not for Marley’s sake. I’ll successfully retake the founder, steal the Founding Titan from Marley, and save the world. I’ll free the people of the world from the fear of the titans, and free Eldians from their suffering.” (Chapter 114)

Favorite outfit: I actually like the comfortable hoodie look he had going on in chapter 77. But also I can never complain about his shirtless scenes, so… 

OTP: I actually don’t feel strongly (in a serious) way about any Zeke ships, so probably nothing?

Brotp: Zeke/Yelena, Zeke/Pieck, Zeke/Reiner… the latter two in a more ideal world. And of course Jaegerbros, in a more ideal world haha

Head Canon: He was probably shocked to find out that he had a brother on Paradis, and he was probably very nervous about seeing him for the first time. When he did finally see him, he probably projected an immediate connection and desire to help Eren “see the light” so to speak. 

Unpopular opinion: I love his character and have always found him enjoyably fascinating. 

A wish: I hope that Zeke is able to atone for the lives he’s taken by the end of the story. Self sacrifice seems to be the most fitting way to do it, but ultimately I hope that he can see and understand why his goal is heavily misguided and harmful, and that neither he nor the people of Eldia’s lives were ever meaningless. I hope that of all people, it is Eren who makes him understand.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I don’t want him to die believing that he never had any worth or meaning in the world. I don’t want it to turn out that Eren never felt anything toward him as a brother or a fellow suffering Eldian.

5 words to best describe them: Tragic, dorky, manipulative, misguided, sympathetic.

My nickname for them: Beast daddy B)

Eren-

Why I like them: I think we’d be here all day if I named every little thing. But Eren has always been a character who I’ve loved since the first time I saw him. He was always a perceptive character with a bigger understanding of the circumstances he lived in than the people around him. His insuppressible desire to be free has always resonated with me and his blatant dislike for complacency in the world is extremely easy for me to relate to. He’s passionate about the things he fights for and the people that he loves, and his will to fight is admirable and inspiring. Through his highs and lows I’ve always felt I could understand him well (rip me @ 112) and even through his mistakes and poor judgement calls I’ll always find myself in his corner holding out hope and faith that he will be in the right place in the end. He’s always inspired me and I hope that he will always do so.

Why I don’t: I’m just begging Isayama for his POV at this point because not knowing what’s going through his head has been the most depressing and painful experience I’ve had to go through since I became a slave to this series almost 6 years ago. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m… supposed to choose just one? I guess if I have to pick one, I still love him in episode 13/chapter 14 the best. His speech in that scene is still my favorite quote from him in the entire series and it always gives me chills and makes me tear up. The imagery of him pushing forward with the weight of everything pressing down on him is so powerful and still so relevant. And he pushes and pushes through until he’s finally able to lift that weight and use it to solve the immediate problem. I hope that the final resolution touches my heart in the same ways. 

Favorite season/movie: It’s not animated, but I absolutely love Eren in the latter half of the Marley arc. To see him grow and learn to understand the greyness of the world, to talk about the realities of the effects of war to Falco, to see him extend an understanding to Reiner, to see how much more competent he’s gotten with his powers, to see him take a seemingly dark turn, it was such a cool thing to experience for the first time. I’m hopeful that with all the answers, I’ll find his development in that arc all the more fascinating and understandable. 

Favorite line: “When we’re born, all of us are free. People who reject that, no matter how strong they are, don’t matter. The burning water, the land of ice… anything will do. Anyone who saw those things would be the freest person in the world. Fight!! Who’d value their life over something like that? It doesn’t matter how terrifying the world is. It doesn’t matter how cruel the world is. Fight! Fight!! FIGHT!!” (Chapter 14)

Favorite outfit: I’m weak for his black hoodie/black pants combo. Absolutely and totally weak for it. Shirt, no shirt, idc. Black hoodie and pants. Yes. Very, very yes. 

OTP: ereri, eremika, erehisu, ereani

Brotp: erejean, eremin, jaegerbros, erecon

Head Canon: I still have this idea in my head that he cleaned himself up in 106 as a result of Levi telling him he looked like shit. I also like to think (at least, I hope) that he feels very bad for Zeke. He still loves his friends more than anything. He probably saw some of himself in Falco. If him and Gabi met under different circumstances they would adore each other.

Unpopular opinion: Eren’s so polarizing I have no idea what the unpopular opinions are anymore. lol But in any case, I still love and support him and believe in the best of him. 

A wish: That he will be the one to truly save the Eldian people and help them move forward, just as his titan allegedly is meant to do. That he will be able to reconcile with his friends and repair his relationship with them. They he will find peace by the end of the story (and even taking it a step further, that he will actually get to live out his life to an old age if the curse can be lifted). 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: That he dies with his loved ones forever resenting him. That it turns out he actually does agree with Zeke’s plan and thinks Eldia’s only hope is its own demise. That he dies by the story’s end (let me dream ok). 

5 words to best describe them: Passionate, hotheaded, determined, compassionate, inspiring. 

My nickname for them: Best Boi, Hobo Boi, Love of My Life, My Sunshine, Moon and Stars, Edgelord, Bae, Ereh, Precious bby (honestly I could go on forever I love him so much it hurts).

Hange-

Why I like them: She’s super smart and good at coming up with strategies on the spot and creates amazing weapons for the Survey Corps to use. Super passionate about her field of work and super compassionate to the suffering of others. She never gives up no matter how defeated she might feel. She has some very funny moments in the manga, and I love the scenes where she Gets Serious™ and takes no shit.

Why I don’t: I personally don’t connect with Hange as a character very well so I can sometimes struggle to relate to her or enjoy her antics. That being said, I see and appreciate what she brings to the story and I hope to see her really come into her own as a commander soon. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I love her moment when she talks down Mikasa during the serumbowl and I still find it one of the most touching parts of that chapter. Like, Hange just gets it and for the first time someone is truly there to talk Mikasa through her suffering and console her in a way that helps her to accept the tragedy that is befalling her and it’s something I feel is so important to her character growth. Hange delivering that speech also had such good thematic importance about learning how to let go of the people you love and keep moving forward without them, no matter how much it might hurt to do so. Ugh I’m gonna die when it’s animated. Romi Park is gonna nail it.

Favorite season/movie: Hange shines the best during the Uprising arc and she’s always a delight to watch throughout. 

Favorite line: “I have people I wish I could bring back too. Hundreds of them. Ever since I joined the Survey Corps, every day has brought a new farewell. But you understand, don’t you? Everyone you meet will be parted from you one day. I know it’s difficult to accept. It’s hard to stay sane, living like that. It’s painful. So painful. I know that. But even so… We need to move forward…” (Chapter 84)

Favorite outfit: idk what it is but I actually love Hange in the classic Survey Corps uniform the best.

OTP: mobuhan, eruhan

Brotp: levihan, mikehan, aruhan

Head Canon: I think that despite saying she’s lost all trust in Eren, she still wants to have faith in him and hope in him, which is why she’s trying to be understanding of the Yeagerists’ position. But she cannot support what they’re doing and so it’s something she’s very much struggling with. 

Unpopular opinion: There are some times where Hange’s excitable antics annoy me a bit rather than make me laugh. 

A wish: I want to see her come into her own as a commander and really show what she’s worth. She can’t be the same as Erwin, but I want her to show the readers and the characters her worth, and see and understand what it is that Erwin saw in her that he thought would make her a good commander in the first place. She’s been shrouded in self doubt from the beginning. I want to see her gain the confidence she needs to come to the correct answer. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I really hope that Floch/the Yeagerists don’t end up hurting her because she won’t give them the info they want. And I also don’t want to see her succumb to “filling the role” that she dethroned Sannes from (although I doubt the latter happens, she doesn’t want that to happen). 

5 words to best describe them: Intelligent, passionate, visionary, creative, insecure.

My nickname for them: Hanjo

[chaniters]

Second Thoughts

FH Fanfic 2

A continuation of the last short fanfic, spoilers as well this time, no action scenes but some angst!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Second Thoughts

You can’t but feel a great weight lifted from your shoulders. Mama Ortega is safe. The Cartel is ruthless and violent but is also the most powerful organization on both sides of the Mexican border since the great quake. And they think she’s part of the family.

Since they switched their focus from crime to dealing with the hero-drugs and boosts they’ve gained one of the greatest super-powered armies in the continent, and the farm can’t compete with that without the aid of the Army. And they’d never admit their precious experiments escaped and are wreaking havoc.

“I don’t like this” Ortega says at last. He’s been behind the wheel driving your jeep for 30 minutes trough hidden roads on your way back and not a word until now.

“It’s for the best. She’ll be safe here.”

“I know… it’s just… I don’t like leaving her here with all these criminals”

“You’ve got to have laws in the first place to have criminals. And the Cartel is the law here since the collapse. No one can mess with them, nor the Mexican government nor the West Coast Government. I’m not even sure the army could stop them now without a full-scale war”

“All those unstable mods… almost everything in there would be illegal outside this patch of insanity”

“You can visit anytime you want. They think you’ a cousin too”

“Fabulous. Being part of the Cartel. What I always wanted. Maybe they’ll invite me the next time they want to canoodle with the Catastrofiend.”

“You know what we're up against Ricardo.” You reply with your arms crossed. “This is the only way to make sure she’s safe”

“Yeah…” there’s a bitterness in his voice. You feel your heart sink.

It’s been rough these past weeks. Ever since the farm attacked and Ortega found out the whole picture you’ve been on the run. Temporary bases, hideouts. Charge’s reputation was obviously ruined when the media saw him and Retribution fighting together against the brotherhood. The Rangers got a lot of flak about that too.

Your main concern was Ortega’s mother tough. You always knew what they were capable of and she would be a perfect target to get to the both of you.

“I just can’t figure out why didn’t you tell me back then. We could have helped you know?”

“I didn’t know whom to trust. And it would have just made your targets back then”

“Yes, and all the lying worked out so well in the end, didn’t it?”

“I’m sorry” You look down biting your lip. “You know… we can put an end to this Ricardo.”

“Oh for the love of… not this again” he rolls his eyes

“I’m serious. You hand me over to the authorities, say I controlled your mind and forced you to do all this crap. You’ll be a hero again”

“Yeah right play the martyr… Like they’d even believe something like that. I’m immune to telepathy remember ?” He glares at you

"Yes, but I’m well beyond alpha level. They can’t tell what i can or cannot do!

He grumbles, exasperated "I already told you that’s not going to happen!

“Bu…”

“End of discussion!” he yells at you.

You stay silent for a few moments, but you can’t help bring it up again “But this wasn’t supposed to happen! This is my fight. I don’t see why you have to suffer for it. I already did enough damage as Retribution.”

He doesn’t answer and instead just keeps driving, stepping harder on the accelerator. The rest of the trip is silent. You don’t need to be a telepath to realize he’s probably in the foulest mood you’ve ever seen since you first met him.

-a few hours later-

After 20 minutes you finish your scan of the motel. You're taking no chances, and need to be thorough.

“It’s safe,” you say at last.

Ortega nods, and you both get off the jeep with your bags and do the check-in. It’ll be a long way back from Sinaloa back to Los Angeles. Should be about 22 hours drive, but in the state of disrepair the roads have been since the quakes made the area a complete nightmare and your need for unmonitored paths, it’s tricky telling how many days on the road you’ll need.

Only a double bed is available which would have made you blush in the path, but it’s nothing special right now. Ortega has been distant, silent and grumpier lately.

He just puts his bags on the side as he enters the room first and goes straight for the bathroom. You hear the shower going a moment after.

You fall on the bed and make yourself as small as possible feeling like shit while you wait your turn to shower. At least you both agreed from the beginning on who’s to blame about the whole situation.

The last few days have been so exhausting. You keep using your powers at every turn to make sure you're safe. All your plans have been altered since you need to include two for everything now. And Ortega’s not used to being a runaway which is a constant danger. But at least you don’t have to worry about Eden or Ortega’s mother too now.

You’ve gone overboard to ensure their safety but you know there’s no such thing. No, not really. And the price isn’t even yet paid in full.

The little voice creeps its way into your mind once more. It’s sweet but tastes of blood. " You’ve just handed his mom to the cartel you know? How could he ever forgive you?" and the punchlines don’t take long “It’d be better if you weren’t around”. “Maybe you should just hand yourself over. Wait until you can be sure he’s in the clear and get it all over with. Restore things to what they were and leave it all behind”

Misery and self-pity are interrupted however as Ortega emerges from a cloud of vapor from the bathroom, wearing only a towel. You sigh, stand up and walk past him with your own towel, again not a word. You can’t even look at him, the guilt is like a bag of bricks on your stomach.

The water runs hot. Very Hot, but you don’t change the temperature. Ortega was obsessed about your Tattoos at first which made you feel an awkward panic sensation every time he looked at them. It’s gotten to the point where you can tolerate it, but him seeing them now that he also happens to be mad at you is beyond your worst nightmares. You always expected anyone who saw them jump at your neck for being a filthy re-gene or a pathetic human-wannabee, but having an actual angry human see them is just too much…

You dry yourself without looking at the mirror, then slide onto your pajamas covering most of the tattoos. Obviously, he knows they're still there, but him not actually seeing them is a bit less scary.

Lights are out when you walk out of the bathroom and he’s in bed already. Fine… this is even better, you don’t want to argue and upset him again. Maybe if you just keep your mouth shut he’ll wake up in a better mood.

You enter the bed, and can’t help touching him lightly, but quickly move to your side trying not to intrude on his. He doesn’t seem to wake up. You gaze at him, with his closed eyes for a moment, then close yours as well.

If you don’t get some sleep you won’t be able to drive tomorrow and it’s your turn. You let your mind drift…

—intermission—

Cold metal in your mouth. His eyes tell you to do it and you can’t resist. Then… he… it…. turns… turns into Ortega… Ortega looks at you with disapproval and nods. He wants you to do it as well. His glare is so cold He won’t stop you from doing it this time. In fact, he'd be glad if you did. It’s time. You pull the trigger. You hear the sound of your gun go off… You are falling. Falling down the window again. You see the ground closing up. Hopefully, it will put an end to everything.

----Intermission—

“Hey. Hey Cyrus. Can you hear me?”

You struggle and gasp for air. As you open your eyes you notice Ortega right next to you staring intensely. He’s… concerned?

You notice your body is shivering uncontrollably. But he has a warm arm wrapped around you tightly. He’s very close. So close.

“Are you ok? It’s just a dream. You're safe”.

You gaze back at him, still shivering. You realize he’s touching you. Touching your skin. Without nanomesh or costumes. That just makes you shiver even more.

“Hey… hey, it’s ok. I’m here. Nothing’s wrong”

It does work. You manage to look back at him and your body seems to regain some sort of composure.

“I’m sorry Ricardo. For all of it. I’m a piece of shit. It's my fault that all of this is happening. I swear I’ll make it right. I’ll make it right!” Your eyes are full of tears.

“Cyrus stop apologizing already. I’m the one who chose to come with you remember ?” He takes a deep breath. “I’m just mad at all that’s happening. I’m mad at the government, I’m mad at myself, I’m mad about having to leave my mom there, and I’m mad at those homicidal freaks you call brothers and sisters, and yes I’m also mad at YOU because YOU are a pathological liar”

“I’m sorry” you whimper pathetically

“Stop. Apologizing” He says with a serious tone. “I’m not an idiot. I knew you had a secret, and I knew it would probably be horrible when you revealed it. We’ve been a team for a long time, it was obvious something was cooking up. I’m just… Look I had a lot of scenarios in my mind and none of this is what I expected.”

You just nod. Yes, who could blame him for not expecting his crush not to be human?

“But… I understand it now that you’ve come clean. I can’t even begin to figure out all the crap you’ve been through Cyrus. And I realize you're saving me a lot of the worse details. And I understand why you’ doing this, and that’s why I joined you ok?” he adds “I’m not going to tell you I’m happy about any of this. I keep feeling like I’m going to lose it. But we are going to keep it together, and YOU are not going to fall apart, ok?”

You listen to every word and nod slowly in the end.

“Now get some sleep, will you? We need to get a lot of stuff done and we won’t get to it if we can’t make a good time to Los Diablo and I haven’t forgotten It’s your turn to drive.”

You manage a weak smile. He notices and returns a smile of his own.

You pull in closer. He holds you tighter. You both kiss. You close your eyes You feel safe. Uncomfortable but safe, sleeping this close together is too hot and not pleasant at all, you wonder how they do it in the movies. But you are both too tired and fall asleep anyways. Cramps and sweat will be a problem for your future selves

The rest of the night you spend in a strange new dream you’ve never had before. You are looking for something or someone in a strange labyrinth full of turns and doors. When you finally find a center there turns out to be a mirror there, but you can’t see your reflection on it. No one can.

Meanwhile, Ortega couldn't sleep at all, his mind still racing with questions about you. 

.................................

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

Previous chapter: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/180182784039/fh-fanfic-mc-ortega

Next chapter: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/180367791684/fanfic-3-fallen-hero-chargestep

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.