#i finally did a whole thing by myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

abanbas-a · 3 months ago

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↳FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD

a Dragon Age rp blog for Sire "ROOK" Laidir loved by Niko he/they/it est 2024

#selfpromo.#fantasy rp #dragon age the veilguard rp #dragon age rp #da rp #datv rp #qunari rp #oc rp #i finally did a whole thing by myself #graphic design is my passion lol

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journal-from-the-heart · 1 year ago

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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7 #he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them #than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was #so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times #but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute #that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems #from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now #and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened #childhood trauma #trauma #cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #cptsdawareness #trauma survivor #trauma recovery

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sonknuxadow · 2 months ago

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it's really weird to me the way people have been talking about maria lately.... like i know maria wasnt the most developed character in her earlier appearances and she also didnt get to have a normal childhood experience but seeing people say she has no personality and has no joy or whimsy or never got to be a kid at all makes me wonder if im the only person whos actually been paying attention to maria this whole time...???? like do people think she was a sad miserable kid who never got to have fun because of her disability or something ? because that is quite literally the opposite of who she was

and people are being weirdly ableist about it too like talking like her illness is the reason for all those traits she supposedly lacks. implying disabled people cant be happy or have fun or whatever. like come on man

#maria robotnik get behind me ill protect you #and regarding the disability thing i am disabled myself i was a disabled child once i am well aware of the difficulties that come with that #but you can acknowledge the struggles with being disabled and facing ableism and such #without portraying being disabled as constant misery. shoutout to shadow generations + its associated content for getting that right #anyway its especially weird that people Always say this stuff as a way of hyping up movie maria as a better portrayal #like. movie maria is missing so much of what makes game maria interesting ????? what do you mean shes better ....#and again. people are being weirdly ableist about comparing the two #''she finally gets to be a kid/have a personality now that shes not sick''#''movie maria's death is sadder because game maria was just going to die of her illness anyway'' do you not Hear yourselves.#the fact taht they didnt mention her illness at all and people are just Fine with that is bad enough #but did you really HAVE to say with your whole chest that a disabled child's life is worth less than that of a non-disabled one #even if thats not what you meant its what youre implying.#trying not to avoid talking about the movie but my god some of you make me so mad.

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charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 3 months ago

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What if Christos Lawton is the one responsible for putting I Say A Little Prayer For You on the official George Hodgson playlist. What then. On the one hand I would have to set myself on fire but on the other hand it would be FANTASTIC news for whoever authored my all time favorite post on the Cold Boys Kink Meme

#I just love the way it's worded. There's something so beautiful about it. Something freeing. Why shouldn't they indeed.#The odds of this are probably even worse than the standard ''1 out of however-many-songs-on-the-playlist chance'' for various reasons.#But I can't stop thinking about it.#Can't believe this prompt is unfilled btw. especially after witnessing the camp discord during the infamous Garrigan/Harris video call.#The RPF fandom very clearly yearns for. well. the RPF.#also yes that link does lead to the famous Epaulette Shimmying video. of course. god bless. my favorite video in the whole world <3 #Starky's Original Posts #ok last time I made a post and deliberately did the responsible thing #and kept my ship tag out of the first five tags so it wouldn't pollute the actual ship tag seen by everyone else #but then to my horror it showed up there anyways #hopefully that doesn't happen again smfh #hodgving #the terror #''so did you finally fuckin--'' NO I'm not allowed to look/listen til Tuesday at the earliest. OCD said so and also at this point I need it #to bait myself into getting through the day. there's too much to do and my will to do literally anything at all #is at just about the lowest it's ever been #I haven't eaten anything besides a few crackers and pretzels for three days.#good good. it isn't even hungry anymore. it doesn't even want to live.#BUT. I WANT GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3 SO WE PERSIST

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microwavetoaster-selfships · 1 month ago

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Saw a post of someone saying pink is married to every color and it was a bunch of images of the color pink and how nicely it looks and compliments all the other colors and maybe that's why I have so many F/Os maybe I'm just the color pink

#In a different turn of other news.#I tgink I'm about to revamp my whole blog.#I know I literally just made the other one but I think im going to finally just use this blog and not have any.#additional selfsgip blogs.#Someone brought it to my attention yesterday of “Kane you can have several hyperfixations/special interests at once.”#and I dont know why that put a spin on my little world view a bit but it did. It's. It's fine if I post about othrer things on my blog.#I dont need to. do whatever this is. all my friends have several interests that I hear about why am I being such a goober over it.#I know I said that making th other blog was probably just a stepping stone to me putting everything here but I-#-didnt think it was going to happen so soon honestly. Thought I still had a while in me.#Which isnt a BAD tging. Probably good that im finally more properly coming around.#In other words: Kane's little rodeo of blogs is coming to a cease.#And I might like. Go a little crazy and redo my pinned on here and add some like silly dividers or sometging.#Touch up my carrd a bit.#Im having a bit of a moment over here and it might be playing a role in me wanting to do the equivalent of-#-suddenly rearanging my entire room and redoing it all. paint the walls or change the curtains or-#-get new bedsheets and make it the same color as the pillows and just. flip it all upside down. house flipper but for myself.#I just had a short moment of considering changing the tags I use for my F/Os and getting proper shiptags but.#Then I realized I would have to go through and retag everything so we are sticking with the system of it being their name and a-#-corresponding colored heart emoji(s).#self ship #selfship #selfshipping #self shipping

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incomplete-ruler · 2 months ago

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I did not just scream when Hancho's part in Scarface came on and it's past 12am.

#yes it took me a whole week to finally get around this and yes i'm staying up all night #only slept for 3-4 hours but i feel so much more alive (this is also the first thing i did when i woke up)#but yeah hancho is so daddy i can't help myself #(makes it even funnier that he voices okarin (i7) lol)#my dumbass now has to rewatch the mv to listen to the song in full bc i decided to pause to write this post #(i was gonna listen to it on repeat anyway but yeah)#edit: i will say that i really love the bridge because goddamn #gonna take a break in between the mv and drama sample bc i don't think i'm ready #paradox live #gokuluck #inukai yuto #yuto inukai #shitpost #kia's posts #kia's shitposts #paralive battle of unity

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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago

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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

#cw blood #luckys original content #ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG #also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project #FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD #SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter #and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do #THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG #i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then #i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that #ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours #so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time #i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly #and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more #but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho #we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange #yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but #she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that #i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated #i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others #AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG #IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES #MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL #LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU #AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES #ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU

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dawnthefluffyduck · 1 year ago

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hey that's not supposed to be out there (uploaded wrong version at first haha whoops)

#not supposed to be that color either #i wonder who that belongs to #i had a very vague meaning for this in mind but saying it would spoil the fun #christ this took me forever #i wanted to do a quick project to give myself a break from my final #but accidentally made an entirely new kind of nightmare #BUT i can proudly say that i am very proud of this despite how long it took me #alrighty this blog is all about tracking progress so my thought on this;#it's not really as energetic as i had hoped to make it so i think that's the biggest technical issue i have with this #i'll try to get back to doing more gestures soon as a way to help with that #i think my shadows are a bit confusing too #i'm looking at it now and his glasses kinda taper off into the void of his fur bc i didnt mark the shadow along the left of his ear #but the thought of digging back through layers to fix it and blending that mess in is giving me a headache so i'm content with leaving it #i think i learned a lot about light and reflections though #my shadows aren't the greatest but i had so much fun rendering the glasses #and the glow of the soul pushed me to think about bounce light a lot more #figuring out how to make the colors look like they were glowing was a whole separate issue #i did it in the last big ralsei drawing i did but not nearly to this extent #i won't be doing something this large for a while after this but i'll keep trying to work on the things i didn't like about this #i think i'm gonna start putting my self-crit in the tags from now on #it really does bulk up the posts and it's hard to scroll past #i like reflecting on my work like this though #i've been able to draw a lot more since i've started doing it because it helps me create specific goals for myself #lets me keep pushing myself while still having fun with my art #ralsei #deltarune #deltarune fanart

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murmurmurl · 6 months ago

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a modern human au where nothing bad ever happenned to them and they got to grow up together. I am making myself cry with this chat

#north is sad and beige and would have a stupid phone case #also i did a watermark thingy because im such a cool ans serious artist look at me #BTW !!!!! first thing im posting thats drawn on my new tablet :3 #north has beige mom energy. idk how i feel about it. im just leettinf it happen #yall have no idea i am SHAKING im so normal about them #i need to get to work on. everything about this. bc i really wanna finally be able to coherebtly tell their story #im very insane about them and THE THEMES !!!!!!!#ARGHHHHH #anyways #murl draws #murls ocs #oc #my oc #oc art #art #my art #artists on tumblr #whatever other tags there are #just you wait. i will make this into something coherent #ughhhg i cant. i need to cope ok #and its smth i myself made up wtf !!!!!#imagine being separated from your sibling who is your whole world at a young age and spending the next several decades being told theyre a #a traitor and eventually hunting them down only to discover that while you werw kept in a bubble where everything stayed the same the rest #of thw world has changed so much including your sibling and you realize the only person you could rely on these past few decades has been l #lying to you and now youre completely unajusted to life and have to deal with the fact everything isnt what you thiugjt it was AND EVERYRHJ #G CHABGED IT CHANGED !!!! CHANGE IS INEVITABLE AND YOU HAVE TO FOR THE FIRST TIME VE FACED WITH LIVING FOR YOURSELF AND DISCIVERING WHO YOU #ARE AS A PERSON HHHHHHHHH I CANTTTT.#i dont event have all the names for characters yet GAHHHHH

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wanderingmausoleum · 9 months ago

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mostly-finished the dlc last night which really made me realize how many npc quests i fucked up or locked myself out of despite trying to be really careful to avoid that lmfao

#[spoilers in the tags]#the only one i DIDNT fuck up was ymir’s and even then i missed a chunk of dialogue and almost missed the spirit ash sisters thing #and i got igon’s quest done #but #i completely locked myself out of freyja’s #i missed a big chunk of stuff from thiollier’s #and thus the dragon priestess’s #i missed a chunk of stuff from ansbach’s which led to fucking over freyja #i think hornsent’s quest fucked ITSELF up because he despawned while invading #i definitely missed some things about leda #and i’m pretty sure i missed some stuff with moore too #i MIGHT have gotten all of dane’s stuff but if so it means all he did was fight me once then get summoned for a boss then fight me again #this is still the most frustrating part of elden ring as a whole to me #i missed ALL the foreshadowing for the final boss because i fucked up freyja’s quest because ansbach just disappeared #lmfao #don’t go to the shadow keep too early kids! it looks like the path you’re supposed to take but it’ll fuck everything up!#speaketh

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 1 year ago

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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

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griseldabanks · 8 months ago

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Once again, Foster Family AU and Cosmic Eclipse for the kick-in-the-pants writing ask but also Take Me Beyond too, please!

Foster Family AU: 117 words!

Shooting her an unimpressed look, Riza finally took a sip of her coffee. “And here I thought you might actually give me some encouragement.” “Hey, I meant it as a compliment!” “Really? Because here I thought you were just calling us all strange.”

Cosmic Eclipse: 152 words!

And there, quieter than his voice, but still easy for Sherlock to hear, a constant tapping noise. Like John was fiddling with the zipper or buttons on his coat, tapping his fingernail against them.... Three short taps, three long taps, three short taps. Dot dot dot. Dash dash dash. Dot dot dot. S.O.S.

Take Me Beyond: 108 words!

This was all he’d ever wanted. Just to be close to her, to hold her, and oh, he loved her so much, his heart was full of it, pounding fit to burst, rising up in his throat till he couldn’t breathe with how much he wanted this, wanted her, and…. He couldn’t breathe. Oh. He couldn’t breathe.

Kick-in-the-Pants Writer's Ask Game

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seventh-district · 11 months ago

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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr 2.2 #hsr spoilers #hsr leaks #the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am #i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before #but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one #so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days #it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me #but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and #gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it #and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story #not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know #but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game #anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream #pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we #i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing #Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it #and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet #also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good #Seven.txt #viddy game stuff

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lewyn-martell · 3 months ago

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#interview with the vampire #i just found and watched a video on youtube that is a lestat hate and rant about his fans and it was so SO cathartic #i dont even agree with everything said and was naturally at first skeptic of a youtuber's opinion #but finally FINALLY there is a louder voice of someone who can see things about this show from another point of view #even if it's a pov that's more strict than the one i use to analyze media myself #i thought i was going crazy when seeing the fan opinions surrounding this show. mostly out there but sometimes here too #like yeah with how popular loustat is i knew there would be plenty of bias for the angle that flatters it #but the things ive seen lestat & loustat fans say.... the longing for eye bleach was real #but finally someone is there to underline that hey. that very present very intentional racial and power dynamics are in fact very real.#do in fact influence the characters accordingly. and does not come out of thin air or just 'the circumstances'#it's valid to explore the other side of the coin in louis' character of course. but it doesnt mean that it's not there #mind you. all of that shit louis described? is while insisting he was not 'an abused person'#and its so satisfying to see how someone can pass all the bullshit and have the serenity of heart to recognize that #regardless of everything else. there is a reason why louis felt like lestat was a predator and he was being preyed on #that is because he largely was. lestat *was* a vampire on the hunt. an emotional vampire to boost along with the more literal sense #he might disagree to be doing that on a conscious level and he might have clear reasons to have the instincts he does. he still did that #thank you for also calling bullshit on the reunion scene dialogue and parts of the trial in how it was trying to frame certain things #its the main reason why s2 didnt fully work for me. like jesus christ.#that man literally was part of a ploy to murder their daughter. BE SERIOUS. and im supposed to be mad about armand's involvement??#i also felt so seen when he talked about how dickmatized penis delirious to the point of frustration louis is #there is so much to be grateful for. in highlighting the weight of lestat's involvement vs armand's #in talking about louis' family's side of things. expressing how people for some reason love to call armand a mastermind lying manipulator #when the first culprit of that is the blonde bitch??#honestly the irritation i feel towards many of the fans of this show and the major opinions was such #that i was feeling bad just be seeing iwtv content around and i dont wanna feel like that. i like the show so much.#this was soul clearing in a way. even if. again. i dont fully agree with everything #love how its so clear how so many people try to invoke the books when trying to dissuade him from thinking ill of lestat #because thats exactly my experience too LMAO. talk about a weak limpdick argument #and people who try to invoke unreliable narrator are not much better #and the whole story is made up from the writer's head and nothing matters! see i can do this too

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