#i fell meh about this but oh well its decent

[synthshenanigans]

There's still another sunset to be found inside this tangent, so I will try again and perhaps when we become whole, it'll hold

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 4 episode 14 Sentibubbler

(Spoilers for the new episode below)

-Okay so they are having dinner at Alya's place and Nino is there. Daww he is like part of the family

-Okay so everyone knows trixx is there and Marinette is ladybug

-Okay this is probably the dream in the trailer

-And there is shadowmoth, okay yea that explains that.

-AND OH S*** ITS CHAT BLANC, Did... did I write this? Cause I would totally do this bit with dream chat blanc. I already love this because i have been SAYING CHAT BLANC HAUNTS MARINETTE'S NIGHTMARES SINCE SEASON 3!

-Oh wow that is terrifying.

-Wow Wayzz just selling out Trixx like that. also THE LOCHNESS MONSTER WAS AN ILLUSION! Amazing. Trixx is officially my second fave kwami now. Bar none.

-Marinette is in panic mode right now poor girl. She needs a hug

-Oh they were looking for a big ass spider. Lol the Jukes this episode be throwing.

-Nino you adorable bean, get out here

-Nino trying to play it off. Honestly mood. (I would have killed it though, I should not be trusted to look for spiders)

-Marinette really wanted to talk with Alya about the dream

-I liked this alynette, It was cute. Also Trixx voice in the dub is much more feminine. Meh I can take it or leave it.

-Alya is me with the phone.

-OH SNAP IT IS SHADOWMOTH!

-Alya really thought Nino was akumatizable from being dismissed. Well if THAT AINT FORSHADOWING FOR LATER IDK WHAT IS.

-Shadowmoth could have totally messed with her more.

-THE SPIDER GOT ITS OWN BUBBLE I CANT!

-So props to Shadowmoth here.

-Aww Nora remembers chat noir

- Marinette seeing the phone made me laugh

-Alya really just done with shadowmoth

-Plagg complaining about cheese

-Chat noir sees his friends in danger and jumps into action

-Well its good to see that chat noir gets to actually act.

-Huh... with Shadowmoth's plan it is actually working out that Marinette gave her the fox miraculous early. Credit where credit is due, that is actually really smart episode.

-Marinette goes from "Alya will figure this out" to "Ah damn it now i have to use the Rabbit" real quick.

-Alya is playing this close to this.

-Chat noir is on standby right now.

-ALYA JUST DID THE LADYBUG PLAN THING! I am starting to think anyone can do that now.

-Shadowmoth with the coffee cup. "NOT NOW" like a grumpy teacher.

-TRIXX EATS GRAPES ADORABLE.

-Okay so gotta say Alya was pretty clever.

-WOW CHAT... ummm okay. That was a large over reaction. I think the frustration is boiling a bit, maybe the last episode hit him WAY harder than we thought. Easy there kitty. Cant blame him for being angry but damn that was a bit of a tantrum, hopefully he got it out of his system

-"Ladybug will fix that later anyway" I mean he is probably right... but damn.

-Marinette moving in the bubble was funny

-So we finally get Marichat! YAY. and its comedic. Chat noir is finally listening.

-Rena rouge is KILLING IT WITH THE IMPERSONATIONS

-Rena Rouge... THAT IS BRILLIANT!

-Shadowmoth fell for that. Dumb butt

-Chat noir fighting Sentibubbler, nice to see the cat able to finally participate.

-Also Shadowmoth you weak bitch. Chat noir destroyed a chimney in his frustration, you just dented a wall. WIMP!

-And Shadowmoth tipped the scales with a cheap back shot. Well chat noir fought well... ish.

-...Chat noir you are a himbo. I love you, but you are so dumb.

-Okay Rena Rouge really earning MVP today

-OMG THEY CAN MUTE THE BUBBLE OF CHAT NOIR

-Ladybug calling in the Kaalki

-Pegabug is a decent design

-I am gonna say it, She should have used the pot to cover Shadowmoth's head. Snagged the miraculous AND the cup.

-Sentibubbler now on team bug

-Yea seriously this was not played well Pegabug

-So Chat noir chilled out after all that. He told her he was feeling down and that she proved she knew what she was doing. Okay that was cute.

-The Alyanette is STRONG Tonight.

-Gabriel threw a tantrum and Nathalie had to try and make him feel better

-I JUST REALIZED! THAT CHIMNEY IS STILL BROKEN!

__________________________________________________________

Okay so overall 9/10

I really thought they were gonna go harder with the trust eroding between Ladybug and Chat noir. But outside of that I LOVED everything else. Rena Rouge killed it this episode.

Chat noir destroying that chimney was a bit unexpected but I think its a sign that he is starting to reach his wits end with all of this secrecy. He still doesnt know Alya is a permanent miraculous holder. I guess my only complaint is that they could have expanded on it more.

[kaepopsicle]

Nct dream react to you saying i love you first? thx

hii yes I can lovely :))

nct dream reaction. their s/o saying ily first.

— mark

you guys were sitting on his bed, you’re just scrolling on your phone while your bf was playing his guitar; you have only have been dating for 2 months; but it’s felt like forever. you came across a really funny meme and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing, you startle mark as he fell off the bed. “oh my god are you okay?” you say in between laughs, not being able to fully focus, “yeah you just scared me!” he said chuckling before you look down at him on the floor, you point and laugh at him and reach down a hand for him to pull so he could get back up; but he ends up pulling you down on top of him. you start laughing even more before the words popped out of your mouth. “I love you.” he stops. freezes and looks at you, “you what?” you sigh before repeating yourself “god mark I said I love you.” he smiles before grabbing the side of your face and kissing you. your soft lips and kisses fill the atmosphere.

— renjun

you and renjun were just hanging around at the park playing i - spy — “I spyyyyy brown” you say as you see a squirrel run by, renjun looks around “oh my god uhhh,,” he sees the squirrels and laughs “is it that squirrel?” you give him a grumpy face before crossing your arms. “how are you so good at this game?!” you pout as you stomp ahead, renjun laughs before running up to you and spinning you around so you can face him. “bc you make it easy my love; plus that squirrel looked just like you.” you roll your eyes “meh meh meh” you turn around, smacking him in the face with your hair a bit before stomping ahead. “babeeee I’m sorryyy” he chuckles before running up to you again,, “nope don’t even try” you look away and cross your arms. “Ahhh stoppp you love meee.” He says as he starts poking your side, making you move and giggle. “Stop stop!!” You laugh as you try running away, he grabs your side and pulls you into a back hug. The smile on your face was so bright and big. He starts kissing your neck tickling your skin. “Ahh okay okay! I love you I love you!! Stop” you giggle once more. He stops and stares at you, turns you around and pulls you close by your waist. “you what? did I hear that correctly?” you blush “yes, I love you huang ren-“ before you could even finish your sentence he pulls you in closer and kisses your lips. While whispering “I love you too.”

— jeno

your bf jeno finally convinced you to go to the gym with him, “ugh ugh this is so heavy babe” you try and lift up one of his many weights. he laughs at you before lifting up his own thing, as his muscles flex. you stare a little too long; before he looks at you “you like the view?” You immediately blush before turning to look away. “No no not at all! I just wanted to prove I can do better than you.” he rolls his eyes and chuckle before putting down his weights to watch you. you quickly stammer around to find a decently sized weight. You try picking it up before tripping backwards and falling. “Ah!” “Oh my god babe!” he shouts before running over. you start laughing hysterically on the ground, “AHAHAHAHA THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE.” jeno rolls his eyes, smiles and falls backwards; laying down. “I hate you. oh my god” you still laughing, smacks his thighs. “boy I love you too.” he stops and stares at you through the corner of his eye. You get wide eyed as you see a grin appear on his face. He tackles you to the ground before kissing your neck and cheek. “Ah ah okay okay okay, does this mean you love me too?” You smile. He stops and connects his eyes with yours. “of course I do. I’ve just been waiting for you to say it first.” You roll your eyes before pulling him down to kiss.

— haechan

you guys were doing a painting class together just to have some time together and a break from haechans hectic life style; you were trying to focus on the instructor but haechan kept painting your arm with different colors; “babe stop I’m trying to focus” he chuckles “I don’t care, focus on me” he says as he flicks some paint on to the side of your face. you gasp before turning your head slowly facing him. “you did not just do that” he smiles softly before running away; as you grab your whole container of paint. “EXCUSE ME SIR AND MADAM CAN YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN!” you chase him around the room as the teacher is yelling at you. “NO BC THIS JERK THREW PAINT ON ME!” “HAHA ITS ONLY BC YOU LOVE MEE” he says running around the side of someone else’s paint easel; you groan before throwing paint on him “AH JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE ME HAHAHA” HE SAYS screaming while holding up a chair in front of you. “FINE YES I DO! I LOVE YOU!” he stops for a second and lowers the chair, before smirking and lifting it back up again “HA I KNEW IT! OF COURSE YOU DO!” you groan before throwing the whole paint container at him. “that’s it. you two. out” the teacher points at the door, you guys look at each other and burst out laughing before walking out, you still having paint on your hands; smear it on his face before running down the street.

— jaemin

“babe it’s really not that big of a deal” you say walking into your apartment with your boyfriend. “noT that big of a deal?? Excuse me I asked for 3 shots of espresso and they gave me 2, that barista was lucky that I was with my girlfriend bc I would’ve gone off.” You roll your eyes before throwing yourself and your coat on the coach. “babe just shut up and come pick out a movie with me” you flip through the variety of different movies and genres on the tv as he walks over still complaining about his coffee. “no no that barista didn’t understand how important this was to me, like I LOVE my coffee and they just ruined it for me.” you put a hand on his thigh and squeeze it as you roll your eyes. “Okay well babe your coffee doesn’t love you back I love you, so can you drop it so we can watch a movie.” You say as you turn to look at the tv, unrealizing what you said and how he was in the middle of drinking his TWo shOt EsPresSO coFFeE; nearly choking on it he replies back “say that again.” you look at him “say what again?” “What you just said, say that again but slower.” You rolls your eyes. “I love you Na Jaemin. There I said it now can we please just focus on picking out a movie to watch.” He puts his coffee down before pulling you close to his face. You stammer and get flustered as your nose lightly brush against each other. “I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that.” He crashes his lips against yours. Kissing you messily but gentle.

— chenle

your bf chenle and you were going to the market to pick out some snacks for your movie night, you got into a shopping cart while chenle pushed you around; you were screaming as he pushed you really fast around the aisles, “babe! watch out don’t run into anything!” You scream as you whip around facing him, “I’ll be fineeeee; trust me” five seconds after him saying that he runs you into a display knocking over a whole tower of beans. you both stop and stare. “HEY YOU KIDS!” A store worker looks over and yells at you guys “oh shit!” You both say simultaneously; he quickly picks you up out of the cart as you guys run holding hands. “HAHAHAHA! THIS IS FUN!” You shout as you sprint around the corner! “HAHA YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON ID WANT TO DO THIS WITH!” he shouts back. “ZHONG CHENLE I LOVE YOU!” you say without hesitation as you guys run; almost out of the store. he stops. “woah woah did you just say you love me?” you a couple feet ahead turn around and smile. “was it too soon?” you say scratching your head. “no it was perfect.” he says before walking up to you and pulling you close and kissing your warm lips. “HEY STOP THERE” the kiss was broken by the sound of the employees, you chuckle before continuing running out.

— jisung

going to an arcade with your bf jisung was always your favorite thing to do, just being able to spend time with him alone; away from all his crazy brothers. you guys ended up finishing one of those virtual roller coaster rides before finding a photo booth. “Ooo babe let’s take some pictures!” You say as you pull your tall bf over, he doesn’t say anything and just smiles before hopping in. “Oh? there’s different filters” he said as he looked at all the controls on the touch screen. “Omg do that one!” You point to a dog filter, “wah” jisung blushed before clicking it, you guys smile, do a silly picture, then you decide to take a leap of faith, before the next click of the camera, you whisper in his ear an “I love you” and a quick peck on the cheek. his body turned frozen before he looked over at you, even though his body was cold, his cheeks were brushed with warmth and rosiness. you quickly got out to look at the pictures while jisung was still stuck in his position. you chuckle at the sight. “babe cmon I didn’t say marry me, I just said I love you; now come look at this pictures.”

[s-i-m-p0]

Dorm leaders with a claudia! S/O

(Interview with the vampire 1994, I love this movie since I was 10-12 years old)

(QUICK disclaimer this will be platonic-ish like how claudia feels towards Louis and them saying its wrong)

Vil Schoenheit;

~my god enteral beauty? He's up for it, give him a bite.

~but on all notes you're stuck as a child for eternity, only to be viewed as a child and not a young or even a lady, only a little girl

~ he's just in Awe about you're 'familys' beauty all are (despite age)

~my god when he gifted you a doll that looked like you, you went into such a rage

~All those dolls he gifted you every month,being throw everywhere.

~ he only wanted to be kind but he doesn't notice how much seeing doll you made you remember the past.

~after you're tantrum you ran into vils arms and cried for a solid hour or 2

~ he's so concerned about you're mood changes

~ vil assigned rook to find out what else triggeres you're rage and try to avoid them

Riddle roseheart:

~well he kinda could look like a child,if you squint hard enough.

~he is one for favouriting you due to you're 'condition' so is easy on you with either rules or standards

~ he's weary about you, you and you're urges you're coffin, yo- WAIT COFFIN-!

~ yeah he found out when it was dorm examinations and found a coffin shoved under you're bed, who'd you kill?!

~ had to sit you down privately and ask a shit load of questions

~ istg he has a whole secret room dedicated to blood bags (IF YOU WISH I think would be weird if he had a whole blood bag room for no reason)

~he's scared when he's like 40 he'll die and you keep living remaining as a child

~if you end up dying before him he's heartbroken though you've lived for century's who would kill the body of a child

Azul:

~truly terrified

~ He was a 'ugly' child and he can't imagine how you see You're self after beign stuck in that for for over 188 years

~you're truly something he fears

~ when he learned of you're 'crime' of killing you're own kind he strick up a contract...

~WRONG timing

~ you TORE his office appart

~like bro 💀how are you so strong

~never, I mean never, again

~overall he's...decent at caring for you're needs

Idia shroud:

~ oh hell naw!

~he's seen too many animes to see how this plays out!

~ he first saw you playing with otho and he was like: 'oh big brother! I found a friend!'

~ otho knew what you did, but meh he killed a few people no judgement here

~ idia got decently along with you, its scary since you remind him of a human otho but more scary

~ my god you hopeless at gaming, just stick to...observing him (he's too scared to tell you that 💀)

Leona:

~by the seven leave him alone

~ holy shit! You beat the crap out of jack

~he'll keep you around, unfortunately

~ you're cool

~ you're dolls scare Jim but he woudl buy some for you for celebration days, just don't...throw them at him, aim for ruggie or jack

~poor jack #justiceforjack

~ leona let's you nap on him during the day since ya know vampire+day=burn

~Lord knows how you manage to sleep without you're coffin

~ his snoring his traumatising like a dad snore but woth you're ears it's 10× louder

Malleus;

~ he didn't see you

~ when he first met you was through lilia who saw you wondering in the woods and yoinked you away from the clutches of hyperthermia

~ oh no, a nother vampire...

~ you and lilia ✌️🤞 two peas in a pod

~ HOW THE FUCK WAS LILIA CALM WHEN YOU THREW A TANTRUM IS SCARY

~mallues just keeps seeing you as lilias birth child instead of adopted so once he called you sister

~ his leg fell asleep all day while sebeck was trying to pry you off

~ you clawed the shut out of the green haired face

~ mallues overall likes how you are manipulative with you're words

~ he's tricked a few people twisting and tipping their words and wording thing so it seems good

~ Sometimes he helps you flying (you weren't taught) with lilia

~ they take turns

[fanfoolishness]

Interview with a Fic Writer

Tagged by @novantinuum, thank you!

__

How many works do you have on AO3?

242 works. The actual fuck??? Wow, me. Of course, this does span about 9 years, so I guess that's not that insane?

What’s your total word count on AO3

549,737! But that averages out to only 2271 words per story, haha. You got me! I think I have less than 10 fics that have more than 1 chapter. I love one-shots, what can I say?

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh, you want to get into this? All right. We'll get into this:

The X-Files, proto-fandom, ur-fandom, first OTP ever... yeah, 15-year-old me went. WILD. Many horrible Mulder/Scully stories, and some Doggett/Scully and character study stories as well. Mostly not very good, but with occasional flashes of decent writing. Really had a difficult time writing romantic feelings between 30+ year-olds given a) I did not date in high school and b) was 17 and not an emotionally stunted FBI agent.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - not a huge volume of stories, but definitely some very angsty Spuffy and Spike tales.

Harry Potter - just one published fic (Lupin grieving Sirius), and one with Snape and Harry having a heart to heart I could never quite get right.

Then came the dark times (vet school) where I was exhausted and hard at work for a few years and I thought, horribly, I might have outgrown fandom. Thank god for...

X-Men First Class and the undying love of Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr! I'd never fallen for a slash ship before but my god I fell hard for this one and wrote my first fandom smut and my first real AU (mutants with zombies) that I never finished.

Then.... let's see...

Quantum Leap drabbles!

Two Avatar the Last Airbender fics!

Agents of SHIELD fics, mostly focused on Coulson and FitzSimmons, and super angsty.

Bioshock Infinite sads (god I love writing the sad bad dad)!

And then the juggernauts of Mass Effect (my longest fic to date with 30 chapters!) and Dragon Age, which were endlessly productive and are still productive given the variety of different protagonists you can create, different choices, and different relationships to canon characters. I'm still working on a Hawke/Varric fic in the back of my mind here.

There's one random Gravity Falls fic (wish I could have got a little more obsessed with it, or gotten into it while it aired) of Stan sads, and one tiny Avengers ficlet of a sad Tony and Peter.

There's one Wheel of Time fic! Dammit I wanted Rand and Tam to reunite so much sooner than they did.

40-odd Steven Universe fics! So many SU fics!

One random Schitt's Creek fic of David and Patrick!

And finally, The Mandalorian, with 47 fics. Phew!!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Invitation, The Mandalorian. Din Djarin finds himself in dreams that seem realer than real, reminding him of his loss, but he begins to find a sense of hope again. A promise is kept.

2. The Outstretched Hand, The Mandalorian. Din Djarin is a man of action, but sometimes, the quiet finds its way in. Din reckons with the aftermath of the events of Chapter 14, the Tragedy. (My very first Mando fic!)

3. Not the Sentimental Type, Steven Universe. Priyanka Maheswaran has long prided herself on keeping her emotions in check. But a mother's love can only grow, and sometimes it expands to people she never anticipated. Like the Universe boy.

4. Translation, The Mandalorian. Din Djarin was a man of few words, but many languages. Some might have thought the Child had no language at all. Din Djarin and the Child grow to understand each other.

5. Full Disclosure, Steven Universe. Just as the world begins to recover from Spinel's attack, Steven starts having nightmares. The more he ignores his fears, the worse they become, until he's left with no other choice but to ask for help. (My thoughts on what would drive Steven Universe Future, and I wasn't far off.)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try to! Even sometimes years later if I realize I've missed some. I appreciate each and every one, and have definitely made friendships through comments <3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, hell... I'm too lazy to link these but if anyone wants to read them let me know or find them on my AO3!

A Stopped Clock from Bioshock Infinite has Booker DeWitt ravaged by Korsakoff's amnesia from his long-standing alcoholism. Is Columbia real or imagined? Hard to say.

The Viscount's Way shows Varric Tethras having become his parent, and a cruel, hard viscount of Kirkwall.

Songs in the Key of Red shows how Cullen fared under the dark future in Redcliffe in DAI, and they write happy endings, don't they? shows what happened to Varric. Both horribly depressing in different ways!

Two by Two, Hands of Blue shows a not unexpected end to lyrium addiction :( Poor Cullen, he got a lot of angsty developments, didn't he?

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever written?

Never really got into crossovers or AUs. Just... meh for me!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, I don't think so.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Charles/Erik, Shepard/Garrus, Shepard/Liara, Shepard/Tali, a mess of different f/f femShep drabbles, and most of my Dragon Age pairings have gotten sexytimes. On the other hand I helped start the NoRomo Mando tag for the Mandalorian to help find non-pairing Mandalorian content. Depends on the pairing and the fandom, for sure.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, thank goodness!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so! There used to be a Spanish-language wiki linking to some of my old X-Files stories XD

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but friends and I definitely will beta each others' things to help with sticky points.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

ALL-TIME? Just, why? So many ships I loved in years past turned out to have pretty damn problematic elements I didn't see at the time, so it's hard to say... Mulder/Scully actually has a ton of issues, Buffy/Spike obviously has issues... so maybe Hawke/Varric (except not canon!) or Garrus/Shepard or Brosca/Alistair.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Still need to finish my Hawke/Varric fic for after Adamant! I have 3 chapters written that I haven't posted. Maybe posting them will help inspire me....

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and POV writing from different characters; I feel fantastic writing Steven and Greg, though totally at sea trying to write from Connie's POV, randomly. But I think my dialogue and emotional beats are what people tend to tune in for. When I do write romance, it's usually very sweet and silly and pulled from life. I also love writing nature scenes and settings to help establish mood. Mood and emotion and catharsis are my bread and butter, and I like my poetic prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

What the hell is a long, well-thought-out plot? Like what even is that???? My longest fic with 30 chapters is basically "Shepard has PTSD and hangs out with her crew. They have some funerals." THAT'S IT. How the heck people actually come up with plot that ties into the lore of a fandom I genuinely have no idea and it's the biggest thing that's held me back from finishing original work. I can come up with a setting and characters and then trying to make them do stuff that's more than just talking to other characters and deepening their relationships with them... how the fuck???

I also definitely have 10-20 words that I am in constant danger of reusing like every other paragraph, LOL!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't speak any other languages so I always avoid it as much as possible. I've seen people describe sign differently in fics and picked one way to depict it that made sense to me for Grogu, but that's about it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files, of course!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Towards Another Day, the tale of how Cullen went from being a templar in Kirkwall to commander of the Inquisition, is definitely up there.

Reverberations is one of my rare multi-chaptered fics and one of my favorite for the catharsis at the end. It makes me tear up every time. 5 times Din and Grogu encounter the Dark Side, and one time they find the Light.

Either a world for the birds (Steven develops a closer relationship with his Uncle Andy, learning birdwatching along the way) or on the subject of rocks (Steven and Jasper finally reach a peace) might take the prize for favorite SU fic.

__

Tagging (if you’re super bored and would like a fun thing to do) fellow writers:

@lastwordbeforetheend, @runrundoyourstuff, @honestlyhufflepuff, @art3mys, and @fake-starwars-fan if you would like to play!

[skyward-children]

About the prompt post: how about Link learning How To Invent A Kingdom And A Royal Family or creating things for future Heroes to use? (like the Ocarina of Time or Spinner)

Hey! I’m back! With a really awful oneshot featuring the creation of...a certain object.

(thanks for the ask, btw!)

Notes for AFTER you read: I’m only using a theory someone had once, the entire oneshot is really choppy and I could’ve put more time into it but...meh..., the song Zelda plays isn’t a specific song, and EYYY to that lil bit of Zelink! (just a little though. wouldn't want to make this whole thing Zelink...actually no, I totally would). 

Enjoy! 

~~~

“Knock, knock?” Zelda tapped her knuckles on the door to Link’s room, shifting the tray of hot chocolate and pumpkin cookies she held in her other hand. She waited patiently for a reply. Link had been holed up in his room all morning, and Zelda figured he could use some treats and a friendly face. 

After a moment there came a muffled grunt. “Come in.” 

Zelda pushed the door open and entered to discover Link seated at his desk, still dressed in his sleepwear. His hair was tousled, and as he swiveled in his chair to look at her, she saw he looked frustrated with himself. Instant concern swept through her. “Are you okay?” she asked, setting the tray of food down. 

Link nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t figure out what to do with this.” He lifted his hands, which held a large, dark purple crystal that Zelda recognized as a Timeshift stone. 

Her eyes widened. “How’d you get that?” 

Link sighed. “I was in the desert one day, looking for sand cicadas, and I stumbled across this, just buried in the sand. Unlike the other stones I’d come across, it wasn’t embedded in any kind of rock or device. It was just there. I took it. I thought maybe it could be useful. But it turns out that the stones don’t function unless they’re fastened to a device or stuck in a rock. I don’t know why. But see?” He stabbed at the crystal with a quill pen. The tip of the pen collided with the stone, which remained unchanged. “Nothing happens when you hit it.” He sighed again, more loudly. “I don’t know what to do with it. It’s too big to be any kind of decoration.” 

Zelda stared at the stone thoughtfully, touching a finger to her chin. Her gaze drifted from the stone to the walls of Link’s room, trailing slowly around it until her eyes fell upon the little wooden figurines on Link’s shelves. Zelda gasped as an idea struck her. Excitedly she looked at Link. “Link! I know!”

Link looked up at her in surprise. “Know what?” 

“What you can do with the stone!” Zelda reached forward and picked up the heavy crystal, eyes shining. “You’ve carved wood before, right? Well, why don’t you try carving this? You could make it into something for decoration, or something useful! Like a--a--” She spotted the Goddess Harp, resting against a wall, and almost dropped the crystal in her excitement. “Like a musical instrument! Come on, Link! Think of the possibilities!” 

Link gaped at her, scratching the back of his head. “Well...I dunno...I guess if I can carve wood, I can carve stone. Maybe.” Dubiously he took the crystal from Zelda, looking at his distorted reflection in its surface and grinning a little. “Yeah, now that I think about it...that sounds really fun, actually!” He set the crystal on his desk and stood, beaming at Zelda. “Thanks, Zel! You always have the best ideas.” 

Zelda laughed nervously. “Heh, yeah, no problem!” She watched as Link walked over to the tray of food she’d brought and began hungrily inspecting its contents. “Wow, did you make these, Zel?” he mumbled after taking a bite of cookie.

 “They’re so good!”

“Only the best for my hero,” Zelda replied teasingly. 

Link rolled his eyes but smiled. “I can’t wait to get started working on that,” he said, nodding and indicating the timeshift stone. 

Zelda smiled. “Maybe work on getting a decent meal first, huh?” 

“Cookies make a decent meal,” protested Link. 

But Zelda was already dragging him out the door.

~~~

A few weeks passed since that incident, and in that time, Link spent a lot of time in his room at Knight Academy. Tapping sounds could be heard coming from within, along with the occasional grunt or yell of frustration. Zelda knew Link was very busy working on the Timeshift stone, but still, she missed him. So she was glad when one morning he emerged from his room, pushing hair from his eyes and looking tired, but smiling and announcing he had finished working on the stone. 

“Can I see?” Zelda asked, smiling up at him.

Link nodded, returning the gesture and reaching to take her hand. Oh goddess, the butterflies in her stomach--Zelda pushed the feeling away, following Link into his room. She gasped a little. The timeshift stone, which before had been a shapeless mass of crystal, had been sculpted into a bizarre, yet beautiful, object. A number of holes had been created on its surface, and a sort of stem led up to another hole, a band wrapping around the stem. The object had been chipped away at until its surface was perfectly smooth, the light glistening off of it. It was indeed fascinating. But Zelda had one question. 

“What is it?” 

Link hesitated, seeming unsure. “I don’t actually know. I sort of...dreamed it...and I guess I thought it would be fun to make. It seemed like it would serve some type of purpose, maybe? I guess we can see how it sounds.” “It makes noise? So you did make an instrument!” Ecstatic, Zelda went over and picked the instrument up, touching its glassy surface. “Can--can I try to play it?” “Sure, go ahead!” 

Zelda, feeling a little silly, placed her lips to the mouthhole of the instrument and blew. A loud squeak issued from it, startling her. 

“Try putting your fingers on some of the holes,” Link suggested. 

Zelda did as he told her, moving her fingers around on the various holes, and the squeaks and squawks from the instrument somehow morphed into a kind of discordant melody. A strange feeling came over Zelda, and her fingers began to fly over the instrument, creating a tune that neither she nor Link had heard before. Zelda suddenly felt like the floor was falling from below her feet, and she stopped playing, opening her eyes to discover it was night. 

She stared at Link. “Wasn’t it just morning…?” 

Link’s eyes widened. “Maybe the stone still does affect time!” he gasped. “Just not in the way I thought!” He took the instrument and stared at it, his brow furrowed. “I...maybe the dream I had about this...was a message?” 

Zelda shook her head. “It seems likely,” she said. 

Link continued to stare at the stone, puzzled. “Well, whatever this is, I guess we’ll have to keep messing with it. See what we can discover.” He set the instrument down on his desk, then flipped through the pages of a worn leather journal resting nearby, coming to a stop on a blank page. He scribbled a few notes in it, then slammed the journal shut and looked at Zelda. 

“I really think we’ve discovered something here, Zel. Something...world-changing, maybe.” 

A shiver ran through Zelda, and not just from Link’s gaze. She looked at the dark blue instrument resting on Link’s desk. What secrets could you hold? she wondered. What will you cause to happen? 

~~~

Now, tens of thousands of years later, a young boy stared at the ocarina in his hands, and he wondered the exact same thing. 

[luna-spacedoodles]

Soooooo I’m I wrote a little something👉🏻👈🏻 It’s a Ghostbur resurrection fic! I know that the resurrection is tomorrow but I hope you read it anyway! It’s 1,877 words and probably not the best but this is my first time posting any of my writing so I hope you like it!💜 Enjoy!

The sky was a deep gray, and as the rain poured down thunder groaned. Long and angrily it groaned, as if it were warning them. Telling them that messing with the forces of nature, of death, are forces that should not be reckoned with. But what could thunder do more but give a warning? The thunder could not stop them in their tracks, thunder could not change their motives, thunder could not stop a sword from slipping through the body of the dead, it could only intimidate. Nothing more. So even though it groaned, it’s attempt to scare them off did nothing but become background noise. No one could hear it over their own thoughts anyways.

What remained of the physical embodiment of L’manburg had been blocked off, there wasn’t much point in going there than just to mourn an area of land and structures that, at its core, only meant memories. Tommy crouched under the barricades he built and the rest followed suit. Not many had come, not many knew, but it wasn’t just Tommy and Ghostbur. Tubbo, Quackity and Eret had all come along as well. Ghostbur stayed close to Eret to hide under their umbrella.

Four days ago he’d stood in L’manburg’s grave and didn’t try to hide from the rain. Melting wasn’t fun, poking in and out to sizzle was fun, but standing still and letting himself melt was not fun. He didn’t really know why he did that, he didn’t really remember why he wanted to be resurrected in the first place. But he knew he wanted it, that was enough for him.

Quackity was nervous, he didn’t know what would happen when Alivebur was resurrected. No one knew, Ghostbur had said that everything he was would be dead and Alivebur would be back. But what did that mean? His memories as Ghostbur would just disappear? What would he remember? Would it end off from when Phil killed him and start back up when he lived again? Well, if that was the case then he couldn’t be too worried about him, they had an alright relationship when he had died so in terms of himself he was safe.

Ghostbur had thought Eret would be able to resurrect him because he was king, unfortunately she didn’t know how. But he was for the fact that if they brought back Alivebur, Fundy would have a father again. He didn’t think he was doing a great job at the moment and that it was too late to start being a good parent. They wanted what was best for him and this seemed to be the best way.

Tubbo wasn’t sure what to feel, around his end his relationship with Wilbur wasn’t very clear. Was it good? Was it bad? What would he say to him? He had a feeling that Alivebur wasn’t going to be happy that they brought him back. He had to admit that he was a little scared of what he’d do, what would he think of what L’manburg had become? Tubbo thought he’d be happy at the sight of a broken and blown up L’manburg, beaten down beyond repair, to see the damage done that he could never achieve.

Tommy was probably the most nervous, his brother was about to be brought back from death’s tight grip. Wilbur would be back, the real Wilbur. The one who bullied him, the one who started L’manburg with him, the one who went mad, the one who died to his father’s sword, and at the end of the day, the one who cared for him. Who even in his destructive decent, still kept him safe, the brother he’d looked up to and lost. He’d be back. After months, he’d be there, in front of him. Would he be proud of him? Would he start to hate him? Just when he’d come back Tommy couldn’t bear to losing him again.

“Tommy, are you going to be alright?” Tubbo placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I- uhm…….yeah. I’ll be alright, I think.” Tommy replied, trying to not to sound as worried as he was. Tubbo looked at him with a slight sense of doubt.

“Okay, big man.”

They all walked down the severed arm of the Prime Path and reached the edge of the crater. For a hole it was very intimidating, a hole with sharp, messy edges that went all the way through the earth, down to bedrock. The more Quackity looked down at it the dizzier he felt, he felt like he was standing on a small pillar that reached build height, looking down into the void. It sent shivers down your spine, as it called out to you. Begging for help, redemption. He shook his head out of the trance and continued walking along with the others.

They made their way around the rubble and climbed their way to where Wilbur’s button room used to be. It had since blown up, there wasn’t even a floor left to stand on. Tommy jumped down and placed some stone down, making a half open crevice, just like it’s been all those months ago. It wasn’t exactly the same, but this’d hopefully be enough, hopefully.

Everyone hopped down to the small platform and waited. They were all prepared for the worst, physically at least, all they had to do now was wait for the person that could do the job. And as if on cue, the sound of flapping wings could be heard over the pounding rain. Everyone turned their heads to see the man of the hour arrive, Phil wore his arctic clothing as he had been for a while now. Most everyone wasn’t as pleased as they’d usually be to see him, not here, not in that outfit.

“Helloo.” He landed carefully and waved.

“Hey, Phil.” Tommy said blankly, it wasn’t a pleasure to talk to Phil anymore. But today wasn’t about hating Phil, for now he had to remain calm, as calm as someone who’s talking to one of the people that blew up his home could be.

“Hi.” Tubbo greeted him quietly. Eret gave a small wave, Quackity said nothing.

“Phil!! Hi!! I’m so glad you’re here!! We haven’t spoken face to face in a while!” Ghostbur cheerfully smiled and waved at him.

“Hi Ghostbur,” Phil gave a sad smile, “I guess we haven’t.”

Tommy gave it a moment before interrupting the awkward silence, “So, you’re going to bring him back or what?”

“Well, resurrecting the dead isn’t just a sword to the chest. It’s more of a ritual.” Phil slipped a brown leather bag off his shoulder and plopped it down in front of him.

“Ohhhhhh is this gonna take long?” Tommy whined.

“Yes it might take a bit depending on what happens, you just gotta be patient.” Phil unpacked his satchel, spreading out books, scrolls and weird looking objects no one recognized.

“What do these things do?” Tommy crouched down and reached out for them to try and get a better look.

“Ah! Don’t touch any of it!” Phill swatted Tommy’s hand away from the strange tools.

“Hey what the fuck! They can’t be that dangerous!” Tommy yelled back.

“When you know what you’re doing, no. But you don’t even know what these things are so for you  they’re most definitely.” Phil scooted the tools away from Tommy and continued preparing his things.

“Meh meh meh! I’m Philza Minecraft and I have a wife! I blew up a country once! Philza Minecraft! Meh meh meh!” Tommy mocked.

“Oh my god that, that was one time!!” Phil chuckled.

“Wasn’t that like four days ago?” Quackity commented, he wasn’t wrong. Phil carefully read through the books he’d laid open and picked up the weird tools. They all sat in silence and watched as Phil carefully picked up and put together the tools, somehow they fit together, clicking and turning and twisting into place. Finally they all snapped in place and stopped moving, the resulting object glowed a purple-pinkish color, like the eye of an enderman.

“What’s that?” Quackity asked, pointing at the alien object.

“It kinda looks like a ghost!” Tubbo pointed out, “It's got a face and is all swirly at the end!”

“Exactly, this is a homemade soul stone! It’s gonna help with the resurrection.” Phil vaguely explained. He attached the object to a leather strap. Then, he pulled out The Sword, the same one he killed Wilbur with. It was netherite now, but still all the same as the one that pierced through his son. Phil wrapped the leather strap around the handle and held it out.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Phil looked up to Ghostbur, who’d been patiently watching him work.

“Yeah!” Ghostbur nodded, ready to die.

“There’s a chance you won’t come back if you die again.” Phil warned.

“That’s okay! I wasn’t meant to be here, but the symphony wasn’t finished, so I had to stay. I think it’s for the best that he comes back.” Ghostbur’s words echoed off the crater’s many walls, this is what he wanted.

“Phil, are you sure this’ll work?” Tommy asked, he started to let his emotions slip, become more prominent than he’d like.

“Tommy, I’ve read all the books I could find on this, everything’s ready, there’s no doubt it’ll work.” Phil reassured him.

“Okay.” Tommy sighed, he still didn’t feel relieved, if anything he got more anxious. It was about to happen, Wlibur would be back, really back. Phil stood up and he and Ghostbur walked into their positions.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked.

“Yeah,” the thunder groaned again, one last warning, “I’m ready.” Phil could already feel the tears welling up, just about a few months ago he was standing here, about to kill his son. Now here he was again, same place, same sword, different intent. Phil raised the sword shakily, he raised it high above his head, he wasn’t ready. Everyone held their breath, they watched as Phil decided whether or not to kill his son again.

“STOP!” a voice tried to intervene in the distance, but it was too late, Phil thrusted the sword downwards and into his son's undead chest. A deafening noise started to rise as Phil fell to his knees, he held Ghostbur in his arms and sobbed. Ghostbur apologetically smiled and closed his eyes as he shed one final tear. The noise grew louder and a blinding white light started to break through the disappearing cracks of Ghostbur. The light grew brighter and the noise got louder to where no one could see or hear a thing, just a ringing white noise covering Ghostburs painful screams.

After painfully long seconds, everything stopped. There was no more light, all that could be heard was the rain, and Ghostbur was gone. Phil was no longer holding a dead man’s ghost, just a sword that killed the same man twice and with it’s new decoration that now glowed a sad cyan. No one spoke except for the voice.

“Wh-what did you do?”

They turned to find a soaking wet fundy. He looked angry. But whatever he came to do, he hadn’t made it in time. Ghostbur was gone.

It was time for the dragon to breathe once more.

[eye-zen]

DROWNED

Swim or Sink

As I waited for the TSA security screening to open, my heart raced. It was absolutely the wrong time to have any negative thoughts but the anxiousness hit me like a ton of coconuts. You know that moment when you imagine everything that could possibly go wrong. 

The airport was cold and had a feeling of abandonment. Occupied only by workers cleaning, a few TSA agents, and an armed officer accompanied by a german shepherd. Arriving 4 hours before my 8am flight, the anticipation was overwhelming. After braving the cold for several months I was prepared to head closer to the equator. Where the sun was food and the sea was a reflection of the sky on a cloudless day. Stress is an understatement as life in the city is accompanied by ceaseless sirens, congested trains, and accessibility to any junk food you can think of. The separation from my island home had taken its toll on me, ironically, I never lived in the islands but I imagined for years what it would be like. Never thought I would make the move under these circumstances but people around me were dying and I felt the grim reaper closing in.

To relieve the overthinking I put on my headphones and listened to some jazz, It was Nocturne by Alfa Mist.  It calmed my nerves long enough for security screening to open and for me to begin the process of checking in to my flight. The check in process was smooth as I packed very light, just a duffle bag with a few underclothes and a couple of essentials. I headed to gate 18 in a sleepwalking daze. Throughout the desolate airport I saw a few people sleeping in corners cuddling with their charging spouses but we call them cell phones. 

I found a seat in a dimly lit corner near the window. The seat faced the tarmac and had a view of the city just on the horizon.  Taking deep breaths, I still couldn’t believe the moment was here. Thinking to myself, by this time tomorrow I’ll be sleeping in a nice bed and waking up hours later to the fresh smell of sea water. My eyes began to burn and became heavy like bricks as I fought my sleep. Finally I gave in as the tunes I was listening to expedited the process. An hour later I woke up and surveyed my surroundings, there seemed to be a few people who arrived and were waiting. I picked up my phone to check the time and change to a different playlist. Within a few minutes I was nodding off again, I hadn’t slept in over 34 hours. This time when my eyes opened the sun was rising over the cityscape and a few more airplanes had entered onto the tarmac. When I turned my head the seats were starting to fill up as life was finally being breathed into the airport. I adjusted myself in the seat and reached for my bottle of water. It had just enough for a sip, not nearly enough to quench my thirst. A few seats away from me was an older woman with what appeared to be her grandchild. I asked her if she could keep an eye on my belongings while I went to the restroom and a concession stand. I asked if she would like two bottles of water as well but she politely declined. When I entered the bathroom I looked for a urinal with the least amount of liquid on the floor. Afterwards I made my way to a sink and made wudu,  Washing my hands, face, nose, ears, and arms before drying myself off with a paper towel. I felt refreshed but still tired, I guess the 2 hour nap had not done me much justice. After buying my water and a few packs of M&ms i headed back to my seat. I killed time for a few more hours before my flight was finally announced to be boarded. I walked down the long corridor to the plane and sat at my seat 27F. Before the entire plane could be seated I fastened my seatbelt, turned on my music and went to sleep. 

I woke up and heard the ice shuffling into a cup before I opened my eyes

Excuse me would you like orange juice, tea, coffee, or water ?

I quickly wiped whatever drool had not made it to my clothes and opened the window. The sun was glaring and instantly made me hot so I closed it.  May I have some water please, thank you. I looked at the time and only slept for 45 minutes. I thought to myself, these naps are feeling like eternity. I opened the window back halfway and stared out of it. Gliding across the sky, in and out of clouds I couldn’t help but smile, I dreamed of this. 

Hours later we began the descenion and then landing. Looking out the window I could see nothing but plush green mountains sitting in the middle of blue water. As we approached the island, the water went from dark blue to teal, nothing I’ve ever seen before. The landing was smooth and I noticed this airport didnt have any bridges for the plane to be attached too. To my pleasant surprise the plane stopped  in the middle of the tarmac and passengers began exiting the plane. As people wrestled with their carry on luggage from overhead compartments I sat patiently with my duffle bag ready but nervous to exit. One of the flight attendants opened the back door which made the process go quicker. As I exited the plane a gust of wind hit my face. It felt like a smooth caress. The smell of sea water instantly made me smile as my nose and lungs happily embraced it. 

The airport was surrounded by green mountains and the ocean could be heard just over a treeline. I couldn’t believe I finally made it. Feeling like I escaped the grasp of death only to make it to heaven on earth. I walked past the baggage claim and straight to the arrival section. I was the first from my flight to leave. Clothed with a hoodie and a long sleeve t-shirt I took it off and almost threw it in the trash before hearing a familiar voice.

OY ! aye cuz ! 

I looked up and there was my cousin sitting in his car. I hadn’t seen King in years. One year he came up for the summer when we were younger. All I remember was his accent and him putting a tiddy on my basketball from always kicking it. 

Yo…wassup cuz! 

Glad to see you made it, how was your flight ?

Man it was ok, I slept a lot. The view from up there was crazy though cuz, can’t believe we are in the middle of the ocean like ths. 

Yes man, this is my home. Nothing like it you finally made it. I’m gonna show you a good time….yo where are the rest of your bags ?

This is all I have. 

What ? Haha pack light huh ?

You already know cuz…

I threw my bag in the back seat of his pickup truck and we drove off of the airport lot. The weather was beautiful and the landscape even better. Just hours ago I was in the concrete jungle now I’m cruising in paradise. There were vibrant colors, a stark contrast to the dark grey matter that clouded the city. People on the side of the road selling fresh fruit and vegetables, even a man on a horse in the middle of traffic. A few minutes later we stopped on the side of the road and got some coconuts to drink from a man selling them. At first I wasn’t too fond of the taste but I finished it and felt refreshed. More refreshing then any bottle of water I’ve ever had.

Well cuz were going to go on a longer ride later but I have to work this morning and afternoon.  I’ll drop you back off at the house for now. 

Damn Cuz, you work two jobs ?

Yes Man, in the morning doing a little construction and at night got a gig at the resort. Here, you gotta hustle. Paradise ain’t easy but it’s worth it.

Yea, I get it.

Well I don’t live too far from town so you can find your way around while I’m at work. All you have to do is tell the taxi where i live and they’ll drop you off. I mean unless you are tired, it looks like you haven’t slept in days.

Okay cool. Well yeah  you right about that. It’s been a day or two. Couldn’t sleep thinking about getting on that plane.

Yea well I heard everything that was going down up there, I’m glad you made it. Here, it’s all about respect. You don’t trouble anyone then everything should be irie. 

Yea for sure .

We turned off the main road and started heading up a steep hill. The road was not paved and surrounded by trees, so much so that it blocked the sun. After a few bumps we approached a bright red house with a white roof sitting on top of a grassy knoll. The view was amazing, I could see the ocean and what appeared to be “town” at the  bottom of the mountain. I didn’t realize how high we came but we seemed to be pretty elevated. 

Dam cuz this is a crazy view..

Yeh Meh son. Before I go to work I sit out here and drink my tea. Early in the morning or late at night you could hear the waves crashing from here, especially during a full moon. 

Well let me show you around real quick, I have to head to work. 

King gave me a tour of the house and where I would be sleeping. The house smelled like incense and had art on nearly all the walls. My bedroom was small but decent. It had a bed, nightstand, closet, but the best feature was the windows. I had a perfect view and the breeze flowed through effortlessly. Swaying the curtains back and forth like sails on a boat. I flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. Those few minutes became more as I fell into a power nap once again. When I woke up the breeze was still blowing and I still was in the islands. Part of me was extremely relieved that it wasn’t just a dream. 

I took a shower freshened up and decided to go exploring. On the kitchen counter King left a house key and a freshly picked mango from the tree outside. 

I began my trek down the hill in search for town. Cars passed me by honking as they maneuvered down the narrow winding road. One of the cars honked as it passed me by and I waved. The car stopped so I guess they thought I flagged them down. It turned out to be what’s known as a dollar cab.

Yea yea,. Good Afternoon, Where are you headed?

 I’m going to town. 

To town huh ? You’re not from here , What part of town are you going too ?

I don’t know, just town. I’m going to walk around and check everything out. 

Ok, ok. Well what brings you here brethren. 

I don’t know, just wanted to experience paradise.

Oh, ok I see. Well from my experience talking to foreigners who come here it’s always two things. You are either running from something or running to something. Which one is it ?

To be honest it might be both. Now if i’m running to something, only time will tell. 

Yes, I. Well here on my island, it’s a beautiful place. Weather is 80 degrees plus everyday, plenty of good food and beautiful women. But one thing I must warn you. Some of the women here are Mami wata or what you foreigners call mermaids. You must be careful, nothing here is what it seems. 

 Yea ok, i’ll keep that in mind. 

We approached the town after a few minutes. The buildings looked relatively old and there were quite a few tourists traversing the streets. I paid the taxi driver the fare and exited the car. I crossed the street with a family of roosters and entered into a clothing store. I bought some sunglasses and a bottle of water. Block by block I walked through town learning its layout. It must have been obvious I wasn’t from the island because I could see people staring at me. I thought I would be able to blend in, being that the tourists were for the most part white but that wasn’t the case. After an hour or two of walking around I found a restaurant on the harbor. The water was like a parking lot for boats. The sail boats seemed to have stretched for miles as traffic in and out of the harbor was steady. Under the surface of the water was a huge fish. I could see them swimming back and forth as if they were waiting to be fed. I ordered the most american thing you could probably get, a cheeseburger and french fries. After eating my lunch I sat on the harbor for a while then continued my walk through the town. During my walk I noticed I approached a restaurant bar that grabbed my attention for some reason. It was called Sea Breeze and unlike the rest of the restaurants, stores, and bars this one was by its loneliness just outside of the main cluster of businesses. I made my way in the empty bar overlooking the water and sat down. 

A few minutes later I could hear voices behind a closed door. There was a man carrying a clipboard with a phone to his ears.

 Good afternoon, can I help you.

 Yea sure, I just want to order a drink. 

Ok, no problem. Serene ! Serene ! You have someone out here.

 Seconds later a woman appeared from the door holding a box of beer. 

Yes, good afternoon, what can I get for you?

For a second I was at a loss for words. Her presence alone paralyzed my tongue. Unable to speak, I just nodded my head until I snapped out of my daze. 

Umm yes,, good afternoon, sure can I have a glass of water,

Ok, is that it ?

Yes, that’s it for now.

 Ok, well here is a menu for you. Let me know if you want anything else.

Her skin was golden brown and her hair was black, curly and glowing. She was adorned with a few pieces of jewelry. A perfect accessory complimenting her skin tone. After giving me my water she walked back to the room and retrieved a few more boxes. In a few more trips she began restocking the bar with drinks We conversed for a few minutes before I asked for a drink, a glass of whisky to be exact. I don’t normally drink but it’s as if i was hypnotized. I mean I guess thats what a bartender is supposed to do but it felt different. Jokingly I asked, “you wouldn’t happen to be a mami wata, would you ?

She looked at me with a blank stare and began laughing. 

 You haven’t been on the island a whole day and you are already talking about mami wata. Haha who have you been speaking to? 

 The taxi driver mentioned that to me,

 Well what did he tell you about this mami wata. 

Not much, just that some women on the island were mami wata and that I should be aware of them. 

 Haha well that’s all you know. The elders say mami wata are half women and half fish. In the daytime they live on land looking for people to bring back to the water at night. They Are said to be the most beautiful women and have the ability to put men in a trance. They lure men into the water at night where they drown or are never seen again. 

Wow choices, I escape death from gun shots only to be in danger  by the hands of a beautiful woman fish. I think I’ll take my chances with the latter. But, thank you for the fairy tale, I’ll keep that in mind. 

Before I knew it, hours passed and I had more than enough drinks. It was the most drinks I’ve ever had at one time in my life. The sun was down and when I looked at the clock it read 10pm. The restaurant workers were cleaning up and starting to close up shop. What in the world just happened. Where had all the time gone ?!? Everything at that point was confusion. The girl I was speaking to looked at me and said, were closing up now. I walked outside the restaurant onto the street. The road was empty of taxis and most of the restaurants had started to close. I began walking through town retracing my steps. My stomach was growling horribly and I was extremely tired. I thought to myself “ How the fuck, did i let this happen. I really don’t remember drinking that much, how much did i drink? I feel horrible” 

I finally made it to the outskirts of town and saw the direction I needed to walk home. I stood on the side of the road for a few minutes hoping that I would get lucky and maybe my cousin would pass me by or at the very least a taxi cab. In 15 minutes I decided to just walk back to the house. At first the walk was cool untilI started sweating profusely. The roads were dark and the sound of crickets and dogs nearly drowned out my thoughts. I walked until I finally reached the hill that led up to the house. Suddenly a wave hit me and I became even more drunk than I already was. Along with this came stomach pains I could barely fathom. How much did I really drink and did I not eat while I was drinking. There were so many questions that I had no answers to. I stumbled up the hill every few steps before having to lean up against a tree for a break. I took one step before collapsing to the ground. I rolled over on my back and stared up at the sky. It was the first time I’ve seen stars in years. As much as I hated laying in the muddy ditch I knew that I needed to lay there in order to recover. I gained the strength to get up and began my trek back up the hill. There would be a few more falls before I finally made it to the house. Dusty dirty and drunk. Wasn’t quite the experience I imagined for my first 24 hours in my new home. My cousin’s car wasn’t at the house yet so I figured he was still at work. I slipped off my muddy clothes and reached in the pocket for my cell phone. The phone was nowhere to be found. Wow, so I lost my mind and my cell phone, THIS CAN’T BE LIFE RIGHT NOW. 

I stumbled to my bedroom and flopped on the bed, dusty and all. Hours later I woke up as the sun was just starting to rise. I hopped up and threw some clothes on. My head was hurting and my stomach was still in pain. I thought to myself this is going to be a bad hangover. I walked outside and began tracing my steps. Before I knew it, I was back at the restaurant. The black gate surrounding the bar was locked and there was no Sea Breeze sign but rather a poster that read for Sale by owner. For Sale ? I was just here last night, ain’t no way. I was too ill to figure it out so I walked back to the outskirts of town and caught a taxi home. On the ride back home my headache became more severe and my stomach pain was excruciating. I probably was in desperate need for food but now I didn’t even have the strength to make me food. I exerted all of my strength walking back into town searching for my cell phone. I laid back in bed and began tossing and turning in agony. The breeze flowing through the window offered a little bit of relief but not enough to ease the pain. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever felt in my life. It was as if whatever I drank started to slowly eat out my insides. I grabbed onto my sheets, clinching them and holding the pillow over my face. Suddenly sun rays came through the window and pierced through the pillow onto my face. I turned my head and looked towards the window. At that moment a sharp pain striked me in the stomach and I closed my eyes. 

I blinked once then all of a sudden I was staring at myself. In disbelief I blinked again and I was still looking at myself. As if I was standing over the bed. I could not believe what I was seeing. The craziest part about it, is I was completely conscious of what I was seeing. There I was, looking at my body tossing and turning in agony. I was able to see myself from the outside looking in but I did not feel the physical pain. The more I blinked the more I started to rise above my body and move farther away. The further away I moved the less my physical body started moving. The vision of myself started to become blurry when suddenly I heard a loud knock

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Aye cuz ! you good in there ? OY!

King  opened the door and my eyes suddenly opened and I felt pain again.

Yo whats up cuz, you good ?

I saw your clothes outside when I got in. I put them to be washed.

Yea. yea everything is good. My stomach is killing me though. Do you have any advils?

No cuz i dont use those things. I have some tea brewing right now. 

Man, I don’t know what happened. One minute I was sitting there having a drink of water and whisky then the next I was laying in a ditch. 

 Hahaha well yea i can see that. You wasted no time getting acquainted with the Mami Watas I see.

Hold on, you know about the mami wata too ??

 Of course, why wouldn’t I be. 

Why didn’t you tell me about them? Do you think that’s what happened to me. ???

When I left yesterday you were knocked out. I figured you would sleep all day but hahaha I also didn’t expect this to happen to you on your first day here. Well you must be lucky because you actually survived. Word of advice cuz, don’t get too caught up in looks. Looks can be deceiving.. A pretty face can kill you.

Too late cuz, I may have already died.

[riddleredcoats]

So I just finished AC: Odyssey...

I have thoughts...Many, many thoughts. 

(This is mainly for me so I can remember what I loved about this game when I replay it, or when my friends buy it and I don’t forget anything, but anyone wants to discuss Odyssey is 100% welcome)

Spoilers!!

We’re I’m doing this in parts.

1. The overall

Man, I always loved Greece, I always wanted to go to Greece and I always loved  Greek history... This game only made love it more and it actually made me look up price flights to Greece  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This game is really, really cool in that aspect - it made me feel like I was there, enjoying the sun, beaches, the killing bears/sharks/fucking boars. It looks amazing, the graphics are awesome and the views are to die for. Aesthetic 10/10

The boat mechanics are practically identical to Black Flag - but hey, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But the lesbian crew? perfect. talented. inspired. worth the 35$ I paid for the game alone.

The music is decent, but the sea shanties deserve a soundtrack of their own lbr. 

The fighting was really fun, the movements fast and the animation was distinct, really fun feel.  (full disclosure I played on easy settings, cause I enjoy feeling like my character is a badass that can just walk into any fight and you know what, that’s exactly what I got, some enemies fell down with one blow. Super fun experience. Next playthrough Imma do a higher difficulty tho.)

2. The Family Storyline

I actually finished this one pretty quick. Everyone came out alive and well and living on the Adrestia. It was good drama, and I really loved Myrrine - she was incredible lbr, the only woman who can make Kassandra do anything with a single look.

I kinda liked Nikolaos too, in a weird way - even if he’s still an asshole. Spartan’s determination to have/be the best Nation was eventually its downfall, so I think it fits Nikolaos...He is a shitty father, he’s a good Spartan.

 Stentor is kinda meh, but his little spats with Kassie/Alexios are golden.

Deimos!Alexios is such a little shit, and his VA does a good job of portraying the asshole/bad guy, even if there were 1 or 2 cringe moments.

Barnabas is the only valid father figure in the game, there I said it! Y'all can @ me.

Herodotus is the weird and yet boring uncle. I approve of him and anyone who even looks at him funny will have to deal with me. 

Phoibe... Oh, Phoibe. The only moment where I actually felt a tear slide down my eye. I was emotional in other parts, but Phoibe’s death murdered me. 

3. The Cult of Kosmos...

I just wanna say to the asshole who spoiled me who the Cult Leader was... Fuck YOU! I mean honestly, it was a really cool reveal! Luckily he only spoiled it for me when I had done everything with Aspasia and I thought I’d never see her again, LMAO.

So yes, I saw Aspasia and I immediately fell in love with her. Like the second she walked into the scene I was hers. Just like that. 

I already knew of Aspasia - the real one - and like, it never even occurred to me that she might be the Ghost... Real!Aspasia was such a badass woman that needed no man but fell in love with Perikles and I never ever would have suspected her.

That final scene I have 2 complaints:

Why isn’t there an option to talk about Phoibe? I feel like it would be important and the forefront of Kassandra’s mind when she saw Aspasia again.

Aspasia sounded a little crazy? I mean I get HER, I do. The world was a mess - and let’s face it, it still IS - and I get her motivations and ambitions but her voice, her tone was too...dreamy, crazy? The VA for her was super good throughout the game, but I wonder what that part might have sounded like played differently... I dunno, it was hard to take her seriously. But I did let her live (and I kissed her...I am only human after all.)

4. The ‘’Atlantis’’ storyline.

So um... Kassandra dies, which, OUCH.

That part where she speaks Ancient Greek as she dies practically stabbed me in the heart lbr here, cause I imagine she hasn’t really spoken it for soo long (and no one has spoken it in so long). So, she says a prayer for herself cause she knows no alive knows how to do it the proper Greek way and I just... sobs. And as if it isn’t enough she just sounds so tired, so defeated, as if seeing humanity making the same mistakes over and over again broke her a little bit.

Loved going around Greece and fighting all the myths. ISTG, it was honestly one of the most fun parts of the game. The Minotaur is my fav, the aesthetic of the labyrinth was everything and Ardos was such a cute/asshole kid. Really liked the ‘’Medusa’’ too, but more the fighting it part -  it required a little more brain than the others - but that sick looking forest was 10/10.

Pythagoras was an asshole, but I knew that in fifth grade when I had to learn his fucking theorem.

Now we wait to see what Layla does with the staff. It will probably break me and I won’t be able to look at Herme’s staff the way ever again...

5. The Romance...

Kyra was my favorite romance in the game, their scenes were romantic but with a little air of tragedy still. It was well done, really. And the characters - Thaletas and Kyra - felt as if they had a little more thought put into them than some others. 

I really liked Roxana too. They were adorable, by far the best ending for any romance that I saw. 

Odessa was the only one I didn’t romance, mainly cause she gave weird vibes... 

Yes, I felt weird vibes with Odessa - who arguably also ends up with a decent romance ending - but not with Aspasia? I’m hopeless. My love for slightly evil women will be the end of me. I’m at least 30% sure I’ll end up unknowingly married to a serial killer...

But my favorite pairing for Kassandra tho? Aspasia. No doubts, no regrets, no takebacks. Everything about them is bathed in history, drama, and attraction.

We all agree that the first time Kassandra sees Aspasia, she basically has heart eyes. Right? That scene was so gay, I felt straight in comparison... And Aspasia was practically eating her alive with her stare. 10/10 sexual tension. 

The dynamics are really interesting... They both want the same thing but feel there are different ways to get it.  Yes, I know Aspasia was in the Cult that put everything in motion but like that the beauty of it. Aspasia knows its wrong, she knows she did wrong (and she probably wasn’t in the Cult when they interfered with the Oracle to throw Alexios off the Mount Taygetos). 

Also, Kassie is Spartan and Aspasia is Athenian (technically). Two lovers -  a Spartan and an Athenian - in the Peloponnesian War? Yes, please.

So, Drama? Double Check  

The Kiss. Like, don’t get me wrong I loved it and I definitely kissed her (#noregrets), but I wish it would have a little more build up

[meowloudly15]

Stranded: Day 5 - SECURITY CALL

First | Previous | Next

Gwen woke up at the sound of her alarm and rubbed her eyes. It was Thursday; there were only two more days until the weekend. On the other hand, there was only one day left until her back assignments were due. She had completed part of it last night but had grown fatigued rather quickly. Additionally, she had been distracted by worries about being trapped in this dimension for the rest of her abbreviated life.

Out of curiosity and suspicion, she had paid more attention to her atomic disjunctions. They had increased in frequency over the past five days. Also, they had become more painful and had lasted for longer.

The atomic disjunctions had been a pain during class, pun not intended. Gwen had to leave roughly once every two periods to spaz out in peace. It was a good thing that her spider-sense warned her about upcoming disjunctions, because otherwise, matters would have been even worse.

Gwen's history teacher, Mr. Adams, had grown suspicious from her asking to be excused to the bathroom every day. After she returned that day, he asked, "Forgive me for intruding, but why do you keep leaving class?"

Gwen managed to stammer out, "I-I-It's, uh, es ze feminine issues."

Mr. Adams was taken aback and stopped inquiring.

The excuse wasn't worth the laughter garnered from her classmates. Cover stories were not her forte.

Gwen returned to her room around 5 pm, thoroughly worn out. She'd had five separate atomic disjunctions, and her whole body ached, especially her head. She wanted nothing more than to relax and go web-swinging. No, that wasn't right. She wanted to go home.

An idea that had lain dormant in her head for a couple of days resurfaced. She could go to Alchemax. They had a dimensional transporter. They could help her get home.

No. That was a terrible idea. No way was she ousting herself from her undercover position just for the slim likelihood that she might be able to find help.

But it might be her only ticket back. What was the likelihood of some quantum boogaloo picking her up and tossing her home?

Gwen steeled her resolve. She was going to Alchemax. She was going home.

She flipped through her physics notes which serendipitously contained the location of the facility. She stuck all of her belongings in her backpack and donned her Spider-Woman costume. With any luck, she wouldn't return.

She took off from her dorm window and headed west. Alchemax was about two miles away as the crow flew or, alternately, as the mutant dimensional castaway swung. All that was left for her to do was to figuratively sit back and enjoy the ride.

PERSONS TAKING NOTICE

Gwen swung a bit too close to a restaurant window, and several patrons gaped at her. One of them pulled out his phone and snapped some pictures. She paid them no attention and kept going. They would never see her again.

The sun sunk ever lower as she closed in on Alchemax. Before long, Gwen was perched on top of a tall birch tree. She could see the skyscraper not too far off.

She landed at the front door to the facility and walked right in, feeling more confident than she had felt in quite some time. She rapped on the receptionist's window. The lady at the desk on the other side looked up and screamed.

"GHOST! No, wait! INTRUDER!"

SECURITY CALL

Yes, this was a terrible decision. But Gwen refused to back down from her terrible decision. It was too late, anyway.

The woman's hand inched under the table to press some manner of button. Gwen quickly pulled open the window.

"Wait wait wait!" she exclaimed.

The lady paused, her face stricken with terror.

Gwen held up her hands defensively. "I'm not a ghost. I'm not here to hurt you. I just need some help, ma'am. Please."

The secretary looked at her suspiciously. "What is it?"

"Could I talk to one of your head scientists, please? This is really urgent."

SECURITY CALL

Gwen backed away slowly as the lady glanced at something on the wall and reached back under her desk. "I, uh, we'll see abou-"

All of a sudden, a blaring alarm sounded. Gwen jolted. A voice crackled from the intercom in the ceiling: "Security breach on lobby floor. Code turquoise. Evacuate all visitors and non-essential employees immediately. I repeat, evacuate all visitors and non-essential employees immediately."

Gwen took the opportunity to burst through the door and enter the facility.

The secretary leaped up and threw out her arms to block Gwen, two seconds too late.

Gwen ran through the halls of Alchemax at random, looking for any place that seemed helpful.

Should she be here?

MEH

That definitely didn't sound promising.

Alchemax was a creepily polished place with a confusing floor plan. Did research facilities in this dimension typically consist of white-coated scientists toting handheld plasma cannons and running to stop a superhero invasion?

The facility was surprisingly well-prepared for such an unlikely scenario. Those plasma shots hurt, and the scientists had decent aim.

Maybe it wasn't all that uncommon? Maybe Spider-Pete had broken into this place before?

After beating a few nerds senseless and taking several wrong turns, Gwen stumbled across a directory placard mounted next to an elevator. She stopped and read it. Maybe what she was looking for – she wasn't quite sure what she was looking for anymore – wasn't on the ground floor.

The label for Floor B-3 read "Dimensional Studies; Neuropathic Technology; Mail Room". That looked promising. Gwen pressed the elevator call button.

Right. There was an emergency. Code purple or something. The elevator wouldn't work. She'd have to take the stairs. Where were the stairs?

Gwen looked around for a set of stairs. There was a door not far down the hall that looked like it led to some.

She ran across the hall, evading plasma cannon fire, and flung open the door.

ATOMIC DISJUNCTION

A spasm struck Gwen while she fled down the stairs. She lost her balance and fell down a level, bowling over a lady on the landing.

They pulled themselves to their respective feet.

OCTAGONS

Gwen took a look at whom she had ran into and gaped. "Doctor Octavius?"

Doctor Octavius grinned. She didn't seem taken aback by Gwen's attire. "Yep, that's my name. Sorry for knocking you down, sweetie."

"D-do you have a moment?"

The doctor, who had started climbing again, turned around. "I'm a very busy woman, but it depends. What do you need?"

Gwen pulled off her mask and stammered, "I, uh, I, you see, I'm from another dimension. D-do you, do you think you can get me home, Doctor?"

Doctor Octavius blinked, absorbing the revelation. "Hmm. Is that so? Oh, and you can call me Liv. That's what all my friends do."

"Yeah, uh, Liv, it's true. I got here almost a week ago. You do research on that type of stuff, right?"

Liv grinned. "Yes, I do."

There was something unsettling about the researcher's smile that Gwen couldn't quite identify. Maybe it was because her mouth stretched a bit too wide; maybe it was something about the slant of her brow; maybe it was the way in which her glasses reflected the harsh fluorescent light and obscured her eyes. Whatever it was, it made Gwen nervous. She started to back away.

Liv reached under her lab coat and continued, "I'll see what we can do about that."

RUN NOW

Gwen turned tail and leaped down the stairs, but a long plastic arm shot out of Liv's coat and grabbed her by the neck, smashing her head into the wall. She struggled to free herself, but its pincer grip was too powerful. The arm bashed her head into the concrete again and again until she went limp, consciousness giving way to a dizzying blackness.

First | Previous | Next

[bbhl-incporated]

I like reading your unpopular opinions so can I request two more: 4Minute/Hyuna or BTS?

of course! 

4Minute + Hyuna: I honestly think Cube screwed them over by making Hate their do-or-die album? (Remember there was this rumor, kinda confirmed when they disbanded, that their “next” [at the time] album had to do well or Cube was gonna give them the axe? Yeahhhh) The MV was not good at all, like my casual friends cringe at the MV [you want to appease casual fans and hardcore fans alike] and I did too tbh…. and the song just wasn’t that great. It had BangBangBang’s issues when it came to overall song’s sound vs chorus sound but in a way that inhibited its success (so arguably it had the same issues, but worse). I think someo f their music was hit or miss but ofc Miss “Crazy” was a hit !!!  I think they could have done without the braids because… I mean they just didn’t add anything. It was off. Every black person feels differently about nonblack folks wearing black diaspora-heavy braids, but *for me* I’m fine with it IF the subject’s hair was done WELL, the subject looks good in them, and the look actually adds something or enhances something in the theme or video. Like…. do the hair justice, you know? Don’t just make it some random prop. They didn’t do that for me, so I’m just :/ about it

I think Cube focused too much on Hyuna and not enough on the other members … like take the fact that I don’t listen to 1D at *all* but I know the members’ names. I heard a few things from 4M way back but I could not name the members apart from Hyuna and that’s a problem. Similar issue with 2NE1 (CL; disbanded) and Miss A (Suzy; disbanded). Hmm it’s almost like there is a trend here!! And I don’t mean the person they focused on in each scenario is *bad* to focus on or a bad artist (definitely not in all those cases!); I mean they just flat out ignored the rest of the group pretty much :/ that’s not a sustainable business model for a group on the company’s part. You can’t just rely on the one person to carry the group! Destiny’s child even fell apart because of that nonsense stop it!

4minute was underestimated from beginning to end. They competed with 2NE1 and SNSD in the same promotion cycle (in 2014) and actually beat both of them for a music show win and that genuinely surprised everyone! It shouldn’t have!

______________________________________________________

BTS:

*deep breath*

I liked their earlier stuff better than the vast majority of their recent stuff. However, Wings was a s o l i d album and I LOVE how each member got to have his own song. That should be more of a thing in kpop albums. BS&T is their best song so far, Wings is their best album. DNA was meh and so was their most recent one. I got excited about their collabs with Aoki and Desiigner but ultimately I was just .. .kinda confused when listening erwoijkfls

I don’t get the obsession with BTS not sounding hip hop ? Cypher pt 1-3 were amazing, 2Kool4Skool was amazing, hip Hop Phile was amazing, please I’m tired of the western Pop Lite sound that some of their songs give me make it Stop thanks

I think this isn’t unpopular but . Hormone War wasn’t a great song D: However! Boy In Luv was a banger and I’m right and I should say it. Let it love you! Just One Day is underappreciated too. 

Okay nitty gritty. My God when will BTS start scolding their fans when they pull bullshit. Didn’t stand up for Cupcakke at all, never stand up for anyone ARMYs go after on a whim, never tell them to stop doing the nonsense they do on Twitter even though they Obviously See And Hear About It. It’s gotten to the point where people who I know don’t listen to kpop have criticized them for it and I’m like ?!?!?! when you gonna do something !!! Bighit probably doesn’t want them to do so but honestly fuck BigHit they don’t wanna debut another girl group just because of the wack shit some Glam members pulled. And BigHit is too dependent on  BTS for income. BTS *is* BigHit. It’s insane!! Enough!!! BigHit needs to branch out with more artists (especially girls thanks!) and they need to start saying something when ARMYs go en masse attacking individuals and groups on Twitter! And elsewhere! 

Back to some songs before I end this, because this post is long given that I’m talking about two groups: people really need to stop saying certain songs are ~for the whites~ it’s so. annoying. Fire isn’t for the whites it is MY song I’m holding it captive, y’all can’t have it if you’re going to slander it this way. Fire is decent let it live. What Am I To You and Never Mind are also the two best intros; House of Cards and Wings are the best Outros. hmmmm oh and! Lie is a goooooooood fucking song. Not Today was … ehhhh it’s doable. I guess I can… do something with the hype in that song. But it was overhyped. Same with Cypher pt 4. Lost was surprisingly underhyped. Deserves lots of praise.

2!3! is probably the BTS song that makes me the most emotional. And its location at the end of the album, after going through all the members’ songs, made it that much more impactful. Probably one of their best songs.

To close: Jin needs more lines, and Jintro should happen. Jin is hyper neglected in BTS and that needs to End. It does. 

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 55

Meh so yeah another meh chapter but that’s fine. Its one step closer to the good stuff I know this arc has to offer. Either way I guess there are... decent parts about it... I guess. But whatever. Here ya go. 

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/175344462879/universe-falls-chapter-54

Chapter 55: The Stanchurian Candidate

FFVIE E MIZCPV, UBIUFKI EMC ELSILMS AIS'R NYPZ WFSXMUXDC L GSCDK ZV UAN ECSN AIGGMUC EZWPT UEJ LGSSRR ELF FRTO VJRFR ZYU NYK NVZ SE XPW XY JZLR!

Since he no longer had the portal to work on in secret each night, Stan had recently taken to falling into a much more regular sleeping schedule than he had been keeping for the past 30 years. Still, that additional sleep hardly did much to help his largely exhausted and aching bones, which was something he was acutely aware of every morning when he woke up, and this one was no exception to that.

“Ugh…” the conman groaned to himself as his eyes slowly opened. The comfort of his bed attempted to tether him down to it, but unfortunately he knew that with work to be done in the gift shop and the museum, he couldn’t just lay about all day, as much as he wished he could. “Alright, Stan, another day, another random body pain. Here we go…” With a steadying breath, Stan slowly lifted himself up out of bed, only to feel a rather tight arthritic ache in his back. Despite his small hiss of pain, the conman forced himself to move despite it, only to receive another unfortunate surprise in slipping into his bedroom slippers only to realize they were strangely soaking wet. “Augh! What the-”

Stan stopped short upon noticing the unmistakably colorful, glittery note lying on his nearby nightstand, one that just so happened to explain exactly how his slippers had ended up becoming saturated sponges: “Dear Stan, I needed something to carry milk in, so I used your slippers. Love, Mabel.” Somewhat disturbed by his niece’s unorthodox idea, the conman shuddered but still kept his milk-soaked slippers on all the same as he tiredly trudged to the kitchen to get some quick breakfast. He soon received another unwelcome surprise, however, as he flipped the kitchen light switch on, only for the bulb to bust out as soon as he did. With an exasperated sigh, Stan went to retrieve a replacement from the nearby cabinet, but instead of finding any lightbulbs, he only discovered an empty box and another note in their place. “Dear Stan, I used these to build a planetarium suit for Soos. Sorry! Dipper.”

Upon reading this, the conman couldn’t help but let out another angry groan as he crumbled the note, feeling quite inconvenienced as he prepared to head out to the store to buy new lightbulbs. Trying to make this trip out as short and painless as possible, Stan quickly retrieved a new box of bulbs and headed for the checkout, only to soon receive another aggravation in the form of the group of teens who had gathered in line behind him.

“Whoa, let’s not take this line,” Lee remarked to Robbie, Tambry, and the others in the group in a not very discreet whisper. “There’s an old person in it.”

“Pfft, yeah,” Robbie agreed, his arm slung around his girlfriend’s shoulder as he rolled his eyes. “He’s probably gonna pay with like, pennies, or war bonds.”

“Hey!” Stan snapped, fiercely turning around to face the impetuous teens. “For your information, I was gonna shoplift most of this!”

“Security!” the nearby cashier called out, having clearly heard the conman’s blatant confession. However, as far as Stan was concerned, he was more than ready for the trio of security guards already running his way.

“Ha! Smoke bomb!” he proclaimed, tossing one down that he always had on hand. However, the bomb didn’t end up erupting due to its long past 1996 expiration date, much to his continued frustration. “Aw, seriously?!” he exclaimed just moments shy of being tackled by the guards, who promptly forced him to pay for goods that would have been much easily stolen if not for his apparent tactlessness.

With the drive home being as relatively uninteresting as always, the conman couldn’t help but smirk even in spite of his earlier misfortune as he thought about his plans to tell Amethyst about the twins’ annoying shenanigans and his own failed attempt at shoplifting later on so that they could plot out a scheme to get even with those who had wronged them. However, those plan quickly fell through as Stan was hit was the all too harsh reminder that he hadn’t spoken with the purple Gem since the portal incident really. Based on the hints she had given him the last time they had seen each other, as well as what he heard from the kids, Amethyst was apparently still quite upset with him, but, for the most part, he didn’t quite understand. True, there had been plenty of times in the past when the two of them had had their petty differences, but never had the radio silence of anger lasted between the pair for this long. Of course, Stan knew that he could always follow up on the advice Steven had given him the other day and travel up to the temple to make amends with Amethyst himself. The only problem with that when it came to repairing their apparently tarnished friendship, the conman had no idea where to even start.

Even so, Stan put those thoughts aside as he arrived back at the shack, lightbulbs in tow and a small, relieved grin on his face as he headed to the kitchen once more. “Ugh, rough start to the day…” the conman remarked to himself as he looked down at the box of lightbulbs he was carrying. “But it’ll all be worth it when I fix that light bul-”

Stan stopped short in the kitchen doorway only to find the twins and Soos congregated around Ford, who was in the midst of, oddly enough, replacing the broken lightbulb. “Aaaaand… done!” the author proclaimed proudly, eliciting a round of relieved cheers from the kids and the handyman.

“Does anyone see this?” Mabel asked, throwing an arm out to Ford with a beaming grin. “This is what a true hero looks like right here!”

“I thought we were out of lightbulbs,” Stan noted, his already displeased frown growing at his brother’s apparent ��heroism’.

“Oh, we were,” Ford acknowledged. “So I invented my own! It’ll last a thousand years and the light it emits makes your skin softer.” As the kids let out a round of impressed musing over this, Stan sighed in annoyance, something that the author didn’t seem to catch as he continued. “So anyway, where were you?”

The conman didn’t respond, instead making his disappointment rather clear as he dropped the lightbulbs he had just bought right into the nearby trash bin. A rather fitting place for them, he figured, since they were just as useless as he now seemed to be.

“Well, TV, at least you still appreciate me,” Stan remarked as he settled into his recliner before the television in the den. “Give me the good news.”

“This just in,” Shandra Jimenez announced on the news almost as soon as the conman turned the TV on. “The mayor is stepping down from office.”

“What?!” Stan exclaimed, startled by this very sudden news.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Dipper asked as him and Mabel entered the den, having heard their grunkle’s shocked proclamation.

“In a completely unexpected move, Mayor Dewey has officially announced his resignation this morning,” the news continued, showing the mayor himself give a speech. “In his lengthy tenure in office, Dewey was best known for the development of downtown’s “Dewey Park”, leading out in the “Great Handship Evacuation”, and putting town menace Gideon Gleeful behind bars, in actual adult prison. In his resignation statement, Dewey professed his belief that its time for Gravity Falls to be helmed under new leadership.”

“People of Gravity Falls!” Dewey proclaimed as delivered his speech to the rather bored crowd before him. “My family has been serving our fair town here for generations, ever since my great ancestor William Dewey pioneered himself as Gravity Falls’ very first mayor! His son followed in his footsteps, as did his son, and I followed after him to create the Gravity Falls we all know and love today! Now, I know how difficult it can be to say goodbye, especially to a mayor as charming and beloved as yours truly! But my days as your dutiful mayor must come to an end so I can really enjoy the finer things in life. Like spending my days practicing my swing out on the putting green or building expensive monuments dedicated to my legacy using tax-payers’ dollars. Speaking of which… I’m pleased to announce this!” The soon to be former mayor pulled the tarp off a nearby canvas, unveiling an artist’s rendition of a statufied monument featuring him and his trio of mayoral ancestors that had each presided over Gravity Falls in the past. “Mount Deweymore! Coming to a mountainside near you! Get your commemorative T-shirts, hats, and drinking mugs now!”

After this, the feed cut back to the newsroom, where Jimenez was currently leaning against her cohost, pouring out her joyous tears. “I-I’m sorry, its just… its been so long since we’ve had real news. I’m just so happy!”

As the anchor continued sobbing blissfully, her co-host was quick to fill in and finish the report. “There will be a town hall meeting this afternoon to discuss finding a replacement mayor.”

“New mayor, huh?” Stan mused thoughtfully, a smirk spreading across his face as a sudden idea came to him. One that could, perhaps, prove that he wasn’t so ‘useless’ after all. “Wonder who it could be…”

Like all news usually did, word of Mayor Dewey’s resignation spread fast throughout Gravity Falls, and as a result, most of its denizens turned up for the meeting in town hall that afternoon. By the time Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos got there, there was hardly any place to sit in the rather tiny hall at all, though fortunately they found a seat thanks to Steven, who happened to notice them enter and immediately waved them over to join him and Greg.

“Hey, you guys!” the young Gem greeted the Pines as they sat down next to him. “Can you believe Mayor Dewey is retiring? It feels like he’s been the mayor of Gravity Falls since forever!”

“Well, ever since before I came here, at least,” Greg added with a small smile.

“Whoa… then that means he’s been in charge for a super long time, huh?” Mabel mused, aptly amazed.

“Uh… w-well not that long,” the former rock star chuckled, somewhat flustered by the implication.

“Dewey’s been the head honcho around here for too long if ya ask me,” Stan remarked, crossing his arms. “It’s about time someone else takes charge and starts running this town right for a change. And by right, I mean getting rid of that stupid van with that dumb giant head of his sticking up on the roof of it. Its literally the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen; and considering I run the Mystery Shack, that’s saying something.”

Almost as soon as the conman had finished his rant, Mayor Dewey took the podium up front to begin the proceedings. “Alright, everyone, settle down, its my turn to speak!” the gathered crowd quieted down at this, yet for some reason the mayor continued cautioning them to silence. “Ah ah ah! I said quiet down! And… thank you. Now, we’re here to choose a new mayor for the first time since I humbly took the position over from my father several years ago. I realize that the shoes I’m leaving behind are metaphorically very big ones, despite the fact that I personally only wear a size 8!” Dewey paused for a beat, waiting to get a reaction from the crowd to his joke, only to be met with awkward, understanding silence, prompting him to continue in exasperation. “A-anyway… According to the town charter,” the mayor pulled open a rather old scroll, one that released a good bit of dust and moths as soon as he unfurled it. “A worthy mayoral candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw his hat into the provided ring.”

Dewey motioned down to below the podium, where Sherriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland were placing a large hoop down onto the floor. Almost as soon as they put it down, however, the first hat fell into it, one that was boldly thrown in by a certain used car lot owner.

“Well now! I do believe I fulfill all the requirements!” Bud exclaimed, rising from his seat and surprising a good majority of the townsfolk by this unexcepted claim to candidacy.

“Wait, Bud Gleeful?” Dipper asked incredulously.

“As in, Gideon’s dad?” Steven echoed just as concerned.

“He looks good! Ya know, considering we threw his son in jail,” Mabel noted.

“That was a good day,” Stan remarked, leaning back into his seat with a satisfied grin.

“May I, Mayor?” Bud asked Dewey as he walked up to the podium.

“Be me guest,” the current mayor backed off, far more interested in selling his ‘commemorative mayor-mobilia’ off to the side of the stage than really spearheading this meeting any further.

“Now folks,” Bud began, addressing the crowd with a flair of southern sincerity. “I know our family’s had its fair share of whoopsie daisies in the past. But I’d like to make up for it by formally announcin’ my candidacy for mayor of Gravity Falls! Any questions?”

“Yes!” Toby Determined exclaimed, standing up with a microphone and notepad in hand. “Are you still in contact with Lil’ Gideon?”

“That’s a great question—I’m givin’ you 50% off a used car!” Bud quickly diverted, essentially taking all thought away from the Gideon question altogether.

“Fifty percent? FIFTY PERCENT!” Toby cried, ripping his notepad clean in half out of sheer excitement alone.

“In fact, everyone look under your seats!” Bud proclaimed as the townsfolk did so to find half off coupons placed under every one of them. “You get 50% off a used car! And you get 50% off a used car!”

“Wow, a colorful piece of paper?” Mabel remarked in amazement as she retrieved her own coupon. “He’s got my vote!”

“Guys, I’ve got a really bad feeling about Bud Gleeful as mayor,” Dipper said, rather aptly worried.

“I dunno, dude,” Soos remarked with a shrug. “Its not like we have a ton of good mayor options. Everyone in this town is a tad strange. Except, ironically, Tad Strange.”

“Hi, guys,” an exceptionally normal man sitting in the crowd greeted plainly. “Tad’s the name, being normal is my game.”

“Loving you, Tad!” Mabel exclaimed, pointing to him brightly.

“And I love bread,” Tad said, holding a slice of normal white bread up.

“Hm… oh! I have an idea!” Steven exclaimed, turning to Greg. “Dad, why don’t you run for mayor? You’re super wise and really dependable. I think you’d do a great job!”

“Aw, thanks, kiddo, but I don’t really know if I’m cut out for the whole mayor gig,” Greg said with a small chuckle. “Just cause I know how to play a mean guitar riff doesn’t really mean I know how to make budgets or pass bills. Plus, I don’t even have a hat to toss up there even if I wanted to.”

“Aw…” Steven sighed in disappointment. “Well… who knows? Maybe Mr. Gleeful really does just wanna make up for everything Gideon did and help the town out.”

“I doubt it,” Dipper remarked dryly. “It’s a shame Ford isn’t here. He’d run, and win! And be a great mayor!”

Up until this point, Stan really didn’t have too much to say about Bud’s unfolding, seemingly unopposed candidacy. However, upon hearing his nephew’s sentiment that his brother, of all people, would succeed at something like this above practically everyone else, including him, he found that he really couldn’t remain silent or inactive on the matter any longer. Especially considering the stakes at hand here if Bud really did end up winning after all.

“So, since everyone’s happy,” the car salesman continued with a warm, satisfied grin. “I’ll just take the oath of office now, sound good, Soon-to-be-Former Mayor Dewey?”

“Huh?” Dewey turned away from his cart of merchandise, apparently uninterested with the proceedings. “Oh, uh, yes, we’ll get to that in just a-”

The current mayor was interupted as another hat suddenly landed in the ring, a hat that was none other than an iconic red fez that unmistakably belonged to the conman who had just rose to the occasion. “Hold it right there, Bud!” Stan exclaimed boldly. “I’m taking you on!”

A collective gasp rose from the crowd at this, none of them having really expected any actual competition to come about, much less any from someone like Stan. Likewise, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven were perhaps the most surprised by this, all three of them knowing, despite the strengths that Stan did have when it came to things like showmanship, fraud, and lying, solid leadership didn’t seem to be among that list.

“Stanford?” Bud scoffed right off the bat as Stan marched up to the podium. “No offense, but you’re just some two-bit carnival barker! And your head is more ears than face!”

“Oh yeah?” the conman goaded crossly. “Well, your face is more fat… than… not fat!”

The crowd gasped once more upon hearing this slam, though needless to say that everyone present was quite engrossed in this newfound conflict for office, including Mayor Dewey himself.

“What do ya say, folks?” Stan turned to address the crowd brazenly. “Are we just gonna let Bud win? How about a real election for a change?!”

As opposed to a gasp, a rousing cheer arose from the audience, as several other townsfolk tossed their own hats into the ring just out of sheer excitement alone. While the conman doubted most of them would actually run, he was pleasantly surprised by the positive reaction, one that would hopefully continue as he set out on this daunting path to the mayoral office.

“Well, looks like we’ve got some competition here, folks!” Bud laughed, seemingly amicable. “Which I’m completely fine with!” However, as the crowd continued in their noisy frenzy, the car salesman’s tune quickly changed as he suddenly leaned over the podium and spun Stan around unexpectedly, his voice low and sour as he addressed the conman in almost a whisper. “I was gonna let bygones be bygones, Stan, but you just made a powerful enemy. I’ll win either way, and when I do, you might not like the Gravity Falls you wake up in!” Bud finished this rather ominous threat off by punching a hole right over the Mystery Shack in the large map of Gravity Falls hanging on the wall behind him. While Stan wasn’t that phased by this, the kids certainly were as they all let out quiet gasps of fear as the crowd began erupting into a round of wild, excited chanting.

“Election! Election! Election!”

“A-and don’t forget to buy your exclusive, limited edition Mayor Dewey pins on the way out!” Dewey attempted shouting above the crowd as they began to file out of the hall. “While supplies and my remaining tenure as mayor last!”

“Let the madness begin!” Sheriff Blubbs exclaimed as him and Durland set off the old, rusty canon near the hall’s entrance, officially signifying that the race for the next mayor of Gravity Falls had indeed begun.

“Wow, Mr. Pines,” Greg remarked, heading up to meet Stan up front along with the kids. “I never thought I’d say something like this, but good luck in running for mayor!”

“Luck?” Stan scoffed. “Please, Greg, I don’t need luck. I got plenty of charisma to carry me through this election. At least more than some obnoxious hick like Bud does.”

“Uh, Grunkle Stan, what are you doing?” Dipper interjected, getting right to the point of his lingering concern.

“Running for mayor!” the conman reiterated. “Did I… did I not make that clear?”

“Um… yeah, you did,” Steven acknowledged with a bit of an apprehensive, but still somewhat supportive smile.

“Grunkle Stan, its not that we think you can’t do it,” Mabel said hesitantly. “I-it’s just-”

“No, no, its ok, Mabel,” Dipper interupted before turning back to Stan and offering him the blunt truth. “We don’t think you can do it.”

Stan let out a bit of an exasperated sigh upon hearing this, but even so, he figured he’d be honest with his doubtful nibblings as he knelt down to their level. “Look, kids, Dewey randomly retiring like this got me thinkin’. I’m an old man, and I’m not getting any younger. My dumb brother’s research is probably gonna make him famous one of these days. And what do I have to show for my life? Do I really want ‘crooked grifter’ on my tombstone? How about ‘crooked mayor’!”

“Um, wouldn’t you want ‘honest mayor’ on your tombstone instead?” Steven asked rather tentatively.

“Come on, kid,” Stan rolled his eyes. “I may be a chronic liar while I’m alive but the last thing I want is to take a blatant lie like that to the grave.”

“Psst, you guys, we need to talk,” Dipper interjected, diverting Mabel and Steven as Stan continued detailing what few campaign plans he had to Greg and Soos. “I know Stan isn’t the best candidate. Heck, he’s even committing voter fraud right now.” He nodded back to the conman, who was currently trying to forcefully shove a large number of voting slips into the ballot box near the podium. “But Bud’s definitely up to something and we’re the only ones that can stop him.”

“You’re right, Dipper,” Mabel nodded affirmatively. “Besides, Stan has a kind-of charisma. How hard could getting him elected be?”

“Yeah!” Steven chimed in brightly. “Plus, who knows? Maybe Mr. Pines will actually make a really great mayor if he wins!” At this, the young Gem was met with a pair of very skeptical, doubtful glances from the twins, which was enough to quickly make him retract a bit of his idealistic confidence. “Or… maybe we could just get him elected and hope for the best from there?”

“That’s the spirit!” Mabel proclaimed, pulling out patriotic hats and stickers and slapping them on herself and the boys. True, getting Stan into the coveted mayor seat wouldn’t be the easiest task in the world, but considering the alternative, they had no choice but to try their hardest to see it happen all the same.

In only about one day’s time, the Mystery Shack had been completely transformed into the unofficial headquarters for Stan’s mayoral campaign. With ample help from Soos, Wendy, Greg, Candy, and Grenda the kids had produced a plethora of posters, buttons, stickers, signs, and flags, all of them bearing the same vibrant message of ‘vote Stan!’. A large part of the morning had been spent distributing these campaign promotions around town, but the afternoon had been reserved for something even more important than any of them: a radio interview that was set to be broadcast all throughout Gravity Falls. One that, if all went well, would give perspective voters the feel they needed as to what the conman was like and prompt them to lend him their much-needed support.

“Spread the word, pig!” Wendy quipped as she finished spray painting ‘Swines 4 Pines’ and ‘Bud’s a Dud’ onto Waddles.

“Come on, Lion, you gotta keep the hat on!” Steven urged his pink pet as he tried his hardest to position a campaign hat onto his fluffy mane. Of course, Lion hardly cooperated, instead opting to knock the hat off his head and bite down on it instead as if it were just a chew toy. “Lion, no!” the young Gem protested, trying in vain to pull it away from him. “Let go of it! We only had so many of those made. Lion!”

“Alright, everybody, eyes up here!” Dipper called, drawing everyone’s scattered attention towards the rather old document he had found for this exact purpose. “Ok, Gravity Falls’ elections are based on two events: the Wednesday Stump Speech, held on an actual… stump. And then the Friday Debate, wherein townsfolk throw birdseed at the candidate they like most. At the end, they release a ‘freedom eagle’, who will fly to the candidate covered in the most birdseed and bestow a ‘birdly kiss’ upon him, appointing him mayor.” A beat of confused silence passed at this as everyone took in the town’s rather bizarre election proceedings before Dipper finished, echoing their bewilderment. “I couldn’t make any of this up if I wanted to.”

“Man, who could have guessed that even the way this town elects is mayors is weird?” Greg remarked, somewhat bemused.

“Ok, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel exclaimed, beckoning the conman over to the phone she had just answered. “Are you ready for your first big radio interview?”

“I got my mouth, don’t I?” Stan deadpanned with clear confidence.

“Ok, you’re on with the candidate,” Mabel said to the radio station on the other line just as their segment on Stan began, one that Dipper, Steven, Soos, and Wendy were readily monitoring on the air all the while.

“You’re listening to Falls Radio: 24 hour news and bear rampage alerts,” the usual voiceover announced. “And now here’s the T-Man!”

“Hello!” Toby Determined greeted as awkwardly as ever before addressing Stan on the phone. “Candidate Stan, first question: How do you feel about the American flag?”

“Meh,” Stan shrugged with far too much honesty for the circumstances at hand. “I can take it or leave it, too many stripes. Next question.”

“What would you do to help educate our kids?” Toby asked next, carrying the interview right along.

“Ha, simple!” the conman replied with a broad smile. “Put them on an island and make them fight for dominance. Also, teach kids swears. That’ll bring them into the real world.”

Upon hearing this blunt tactlessness, just about everyone else in the shack looked to each other with apt worry, all of them knowing that Stan’s incredibly politically incorrect answers couldn’t possibly be helping to bolster his chances in the polls at all.

“What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?”

“Wait, do you mean crime in general, or just the specific crimes committed by m-” Stan stopped short as the line suddenly went dead as a result of Dipper cutting it just in time.

“Ok, interview’s over,” he said succinctly, knowing that he had just saved Stan from making things any worse in the nick of time. “Candy, what’s the damage?”

“Your approval ratings started at zero,” Candy reported, looking at a live feed of the polls on her laptop. “Now it’s a number less than zero.”

“You’re memeing fast and none of them are good,” Wendy added, holding up her phone to show a meme of Stan that read ‘one does not simply teach kids swears’.

“And the angry emails are already starting to pour in…” Steven noted, scrolling through his own phone. “Yikes, this one has just about every single word Pearl’s told me I should never say.”

“Look, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel began, calmly enough. “People are like smell markers, and you’re black licorice! Its not that you’re unsniffable. You just need to learn when to keep the cap on.”

“From now on, maybe you should just read our prepared remarks,” Dipper cautioned, handing Stan a short speech him and Mabel had collaborated on the previous night. However, despite their efforts, Stan simply laughed them off, pocketing the speech and dismissing it entirely in favor of his own charisma, or lack thereof.

“Heh, sorry, kids,” the conman remarked wryly. “I always say the words that come right outta my brain. If my head says that lady’s got an ugly baby, my mouth says, ‘hey, lady, you got one ugly baby!’”

“Oh boy… this is… pretty bad…” Mabel said to Steven and Dipper as soon as Stan had walked out of earshot. “At this rate, Grunkle Stan’s gonna lose for sure!”

“W-well, we can’t just give up!” Steven persisted earnestly. “Maybe we just need to come up with a new plan to help him win! Like getting some outside help from someone who-”

At that exact same moment, both Steven and Dipper gasped, their eyes widening in timely realization with two drastically different thoughts in mind. “I have an idea!” both boys exclaimed at the same time, both of them equally excited, though their hasty unison continued even still. “Oh! So do I! That’s great! Be back in a while! See ya!”

And with that, both boys ran off in opposite directions to enact their newfound ideas, leaving an aptly amazed Mabel behind in wake of their unplanned yet almost perfect synchronization. “…What just happened?”

“And he’s insisting on speaking his mind!” Dipper finished detailing the disaster that was Stan’s campaign so far to Ford, who had been leafing through one of his journals throughout most of the story, though he had listened intently all the same.

“So, this is an emergency,” the author noted, realizing the severity of the situation. After all, if anyone knew just how callous and loose with his words Stan could be, it was him.

“The Stump Speech is in a couple of days,” Dipper continued, not even hiding how worried he was. “And if he continues like this, we’ll lose to Bud for sure!”

“Hm… it’s a shame there isn’t some device that will allow you to control someone else and stem the tide of any offensive or uninformed remarks they could possibly make…” Ford mused before reaching a quick realization. “Oh, wait. Of course there is.” The author turned to the desk behind him and pulled out something that Dipper hadn’t really expected: a patriotically striped tie with a small golden dial attached to the front of it. “A long time ago, I designed a prototype for Ronald Regan’s masters,” Ford explained, handing the device over to his nephew. “Just get Stan to wear this, and you can make him a literal talking head.”

“Whoa…” Dipper said, astonished as he peered inside the tie to see a complex array of circuitry hiding within it. “This is amazing! And ethically ambiguous!”

Ford nodded, pulling out another, much plainer tie to go along with the mind controlling one. “As long as you wear the matching one, he’ll say and do whatever you want him to.”

“This is perfect!” Dipper exclaimed, excited at the new, much more safer angle they’d be able to take with this tie factored in. “Thank you, Great Uncle Ford!”

“Yes, yes!” Ford turned back to his work as he waved his nephew off, apparently unconcerned with the somewhat concerning implications of the device he had just given him. “Use it responsibly and all that.”

“And if we don’t help Mr. Pines win, then Gideon’s dad will be the new mayor! And who knows what’ll happen then!” Steven finished his own explanation of the recent happenings, his tone quite worried as he looked desperately to the Gem he had detailed this all too. Unfortunately, she seemed to be far from worried herself as she reclined on the couch, trying her best to block the young Gem out entirely.

“And I should care about any of this… why?” Amethyst asked, her expression set in a cold scowl as she kept her eyes closed and her manner bitter.

“I just told you why!” Steven pressed. “Gideon’s dad? Becoming mayor? Doesn’t that worry you at least a little?”

“Not really,” the purple Gem shrugged. “Besides, even if I did care, why would I wanna help Stan with anything anyway?”

“B-because you guys are best friends!” Steven implored, trying his best to hide the fact that his reasoning for asking Amethyst for help was twofold. Not only did he want to get some much-needed assistance in helping Stan win the election, but he knew that the pair had been at ends for quite some time now. And perhaps a chance to work together like the infamously well-suited team they were once more would be just what they needed to repair the usually strong bond between them. The only problem was getting Amethyst to agree in the first place. “I just think you’d make a really great running mate for Mr. Pines. I mean, you’re one of the Crystal Gems, a protector of Gravity Falls! A lot of people around here really do respect you guys and the things that you do. If adding you onto his ballot doesn’t help boost his ratings, I don’t know what will!”

“Ugh…” Amethyst groaned loudly, rolling onto her stomach. “Steven, this is a dumb plan, and its not gonna work. Nobody’s gonna wanna vote for Stan because nobody can trust him. I know I don’t…” she said in a rather low mutter. “At least not anymore…”

“But… b-but…” Steven stammered, stammering as he realized his ship was sinking fast on this and he had to do anything he could to save it. “But Mr. Pines could really use your help!”

“Oh he does, huh?” the purple Gem deadpanned harshly. “I guess that’s why he asked me to help him with that stupid portal, right? Oh wait, he didn’t. He didn’t even bother to tell me about that, did he? Cause why would he actually be honest for a change, even with me?!” With this angry exclamation, Amethyst rammed her fist into the wall closest to her, the bang rattling throughout the entire house and leaving a dense, anxious silence in its place.

It took Steven a moment to fill this silence, but when he did, his tone was solemn and sincere as he offered the purple Gem a sympathetic frown. “Amethyst… if all this is really about what happened with the portal… then why don’t you just go tell Mr. Pines about how you’ve been feeling instead of just staying up here by yourself and being angry about it? For you know, talking about it might help you both finally feel better.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Amethyst sighed, turning away from the young Gem. “Stan conned everyone for years, including me. ‘He’s the one person I really feel like I can be myself around’, ha, sure,” the purple Gem sardonically echoed what she had declared to her teammates in the portal room. “Problem with that is that he was never actually himself around me or anyone else for that matter. So why would he try and start being honest about things now, just cause he wants to be some big important mayor or something.”

“But he just wants to-”

“Forget it, Steven,” Amethyst huffed, hopping up from the couch to head into the temple. “I’m not helping him. Not now, not ever. I’m not as dumb as you think. I don’t need someone like Stan leading me on and lying to me and pretending like nothing’s wrong when just about everything is wrong. Especially now…”

Steven hesitated upon hearing this, a part of him wanting to leave Amethyst alone with her feelings that she clearly still needed to work through. But another, more persistent part of him had a feeling that getting her on board with this election campaign would help everyone in more ways than one. “Amethyst, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me with no choice…” the young Gem began, his tone serious for a moment before he suddenly leapt at the purple Gem, clinging onto her leg and keeping her from making any further progress towards the temple. “Please help us!” he wailed, forcing tears as he kept his hold on her leg, even despite her attempts to shake him.

“Ugh, Steven, cut it out!” Amethyst exclaimed hotly. “Let go of my leg, you little weirdo! I already told you I’m not doing it!”

“But we need you!” Steven begged morosely. “If you don’t want to do it for Mr. Pines, at least do it for it for me, Dipper, and Mabel!”

“No, I’m not gonna do it for anyone!” the purple Gem argued back crossly.

“Pleeaaaaase?” the young Gem pleaded relentlessly. “I’ll do anything! I’m on my knees, begging for your help, and you’re the only one I can go to for this!”

“Says who?” Amethyst grunted, struggling to continue on to the temple.

“Says me!”

“Augh, Steven!”

“Amethyst!”

“Steven!”

“Amethyst!”

“Steven!”

“Amethyst!”

The purple Gem snapped around to fire another aggravated retort at the young Gem, only to stop short upon seeing the absolutely tearful expression on his face, one that made her anger start to melt almost immediately. “Oh come on…” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “You know I can’t say no to that dumb face…”

“So… you’ll help?” Steven ventured, still keeping the waterworks on for good measure.

For a moment, Amethyst said nothing, her scowl lingering as she crossed her arms and looked away. Steven briefly thought he’d have to resort to continued begging once more, but fortunately, the purple Gem’s ongoing resistance finally folded as she let out a deeply annoyed sigh of acceptance, knowing that, as far as the young Gem was concerned, she really had no other choice. “Ugh… fine… I’ll be Stan’s ‘running mate’, whatever the heck that means. But don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

“I won’t!” Steven chimed, instantly back to a wide smile as he jumped up off the ground, no signs of his former desperate tears whatsoever. “At least not at first. Who knows? Maybe that’ll change after you and Mr. Pines get back into the swing of being a team again.”

“Yeah, no, I seriously doubt that, Steven,” Amethyst remarked begrudgingly following the young Gem out the door to head down to the shack, though not before letting out a small, wistful sigh to herself all the same. “I seriously doubt that…”

“Make sure to get my good side, Soos,” Stan said as he posed for the array of campaign photos Soos was in the middle of taking. “We’re gonna need to show it off as much as possible since apparently the kids think I bombed the radio interview earlier.”

“I think you did a pretty good job, Mr. Pines,” the handyman said earnestly as he snapped another photo.

“You’re darn right I did!” the conman exclaimed. “Those runts don’t know squat about how a real politician gets it done. If the people want ‘honesty’ and ‘transparency’, then I’ll knock ‘em upside the heads with both of those things until they can’t see straight and they check my name off while they’re dizzy and voting!”

“Whoa… that strategy’s gotta be ahead of its time!” Soos complimented, duly impressed.

“You can say that again,” Stan grinned. His ongoing photo session was soon interupted, however, as Steven came bounding down from the temple, calling out for Stan all the while.

“Mr. Pines! I have some great news!” the young Gem exclaimed, coming to a stop beside Soos.

“I already won the election?” the conman guessed with a surprised smile. “Ha! I knew that bit about putting kids on an island to fight to the death would win people over!”

“Um… no, actually,” Steven frowned briefly before quickly perking up. “The good news is that I found a running mate to help you win the election!”

“A running mate, huh?” Stan raised a curious eyebrow. “Well… I guess that couldn’t really hurt anything at this point. Who exactly did you have in mind, kid?”

“Well, I-” Steven was cut off as Amethyst suddenly plopped down to the ground beside him seemingly out of nowhere.

“Yo,” she deadpanned, not to Stan, but more to Steven and Soos than anyone else. All the same, her manner was still annoyed and cross as she all but averted the conman’s rather surprised gaze.

“Aw, Amethyst! You ruined the surprise!” the young Gem pouted. “I was gonna make this big huge announcement and everything, but you came in too early!”

“Oh well,” the purple Gem shrugged, completely unconcerned as she crossed her arms and glared at the ground.

“Uh… h-hey, Amethyst,” Stan greeted almost hesitantly, offering her the sincerest smile he could muster. All the same, Amethyst didn’t really respond to it outside of a cold, apathetic nod, entirely rebuffing his meager attempt at friendliness and showing that she wasn’t really interested in it altogether.

“Um… w-well its really great to see you two talking to each other again,” Steven commented apprehensively. “The only thing we’re missing here his the whole… ‘talking’ part…”

“Steven!” Mabel suddenly interupted, poking her head around from the other side of the shack. “Come here! Dipper wants to show us something! Soos, you come too!”

“Oh my way, dude!” Soos called, already heading over.

“Me too!” Steven exclaimed before briefly turning back to Stan and Amethyst. “Um… why don’t you guys take some time to… plan out a campaign strategy or something like that? You know, maybe put that awesome teamwork you guys are so famous for to some good use?”

“Yeah, whatever, Steven,” Amethyst huffed dryly, not even paying the young Gem’s brief concern any mind as he hurried off to catch up with the others.

“So…” Stan began with a bit of an awkward cough after Steven had left. “The kid roped you into this whole election thing, huh?”

“Guess so,” the purple Gem shrugged again, still not meeting the conman’s gaze.

“Well, uh… glad to have you on board,” Stan said, trying his very best to not step on Amethyst’s toes, especially not now. “You wouldn’t happen to know a sure fire way to get people actually like me, would ya?”

“Not when it comes to you, I don’t,” Amethyst replied, her tone completely humorless when humor usually would have been.

Even so, Stan let out a small, anxious chuckle, one that was rather forced, even though he tried to play it off like it wasn’t. “Heh, r-right…” A somewhat lengthy, somewhat uncomfortable bout of silence followed after this, one that was more than enough to prompt the purple Gem to turn and leave for the time being. However, before she could really slip away, Stan happened to stop her really only on a whim and little else. “Uh, Amethyst, wait,” he began, hesitating as she stopped but didn’t turn to face him. While the conman wasn’t one to find himself at a loss for words that often, he certainly was now as he realized he had absolutely no idea how to convey what he’d been wanting to say to the purple Gem for quite some time now. So instead, he went with the only other thing he could really think of at the moment: callous humor. “Uh… you wanna teach some kids how to swear?”

At this, the purple Gem’s shoulders dropped as a result of not receiving what she wanted to hear and without another word, she left, leaving the still quite uncertain conman behind. “Oh, um… I-I… I guess not…”

“Whoa, thanks for the slamming tie, dudes!” Soos exclaimed to the kids as he unknowingly fixed the mind-control tie to the front of his shirt. “These stripes are so slimming!”

“So wait, I still don’t understand,” Steven remarked as the handyman walked out of earshot. “How is a tie supposed to help Mr. Pines win the election?”

“Like I said, Steven, it’s no ordinary tie,” Dipper reassured, handing its matching other over to Mabel. “Flip the switch and see what I mean.”

Mabel did so, putting the tie on and pressing its button. Almost as soon as she did, Soos seized up from his spot in the yard, his expression just about completely blank until his movements began to mimic Mabel’s just about perfectly, even as she decided to experiment a bit by breaking into song. “Oh-oh-oh! I’m a dancing dude!” she sang and the handyman sang right along with her, dancing perfectly in sync as she did. “I got some fancy moves and a bad attitude!” With this demonstration complete, Mabel flipped the tie off once more, laughing in apt surprise over how well it worked. “Ha! That was amazing!”

“G-guys!” Soos shouted up to the kids, back in control of his own body once more as he panted and sweated frantically from the prior experience. “S-something weird just happened! It was like I was outside of my own head! I’m really freaked out and-”

“I am Soos-tron,” the handyman quickly interupted himself, Mabel using the tie on him once again for another short test run. “Watch me eat this pine cone!” With that, she pretended to pick up  a pine cone off the ground and eat it whole, something that Soos actually did until Mabel turned the tie off once more, resulting in the handyman going into a distraught frenzy once more.

“Oh my gosh!” Soos cried shakily, collapsing to his knees. “My entire life just flashed before my eyes! W-what’s going on?!”

“Wow! Mind control is awesome!” Mabel quipped, very impressed by incredibly technology.

“I know, right?” Dipper readily agreed. “With this, we can get Stan to say anything we want to. There’s no way we can lose to Bud now!”

“Um… I don’t know, you guys…” Steven spoke up hesitantly. “Using that tie to control everything Mr. Pines says and does… seems kind of wrong…”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong, Steven,” Dipper countered evenly. “Letting Bud win that election. If he does, then for all we know, he could end up letting Gideon out of jail. And after the whole giant robot fiasco that nearly got us all killed a few weeks ago, that’s something I’d really rather not see happen.”

“Ditto,” Mabel added, sticking her tongue out at the mention of the child psychic who was likely still completely obsessed with her.

“I-I… I know…” Steven frowned apprehensively. “But I still think there’s gotta be a better way to get Mr. Pines elected than mind controlling him with that tie…”

“Well, I think we should use it.”

The kids all let out a shared gasp as Amethyst rounded the corner of the shack, her arms crossed and a hint of a sly grin playing on her expression. “A-Amethyst!” Dipper exclaimed, quickly hiding the mind control ties behind his back. “Uh… how much of that did you see?”

“Enough to get the gist of you guys’ plan,” the purple Gem remarked casually. “And I want in.”

“What?!” All three of the kids looked to her in surprise, none of them having expected her support on this idea given her usual camaraderie with Stan.

“B-but why?” Steven asked fretfully, alarmed that Amethyst would be alright with this.

“Cause its like you told me,” the purple Gem leaned against the side of the shack. “Stan needs all the help he can get to win this mayor thing, right? Well then, the way I see it, if ya got some weird tie that’ll take control of him and keep tabs on that runaway mouth of his, then we might as well use it.”

“That’s the whole idea,” Dipper nodded in stern agreement. “This tie is our best bet to getting Stan voted in as mayor. There really better route to go here, at least not one I can think of.”

“B-but-” Steven attempted to interject but Amethyst cut in first.

“No more buts, Steven, except Stan’s in that tie,” the purple Gem remarked dismissively, apparently seeing nothing wrong at all with wrenching just about all control away from her once longtime friend like this. “We’re goin’ through with the plan and its gonna work great.” Though Steven was still largely against the idea, Dipper and Mabel both let out excited cheers, relieved to know that they could save the sinking ship that was Stan’s campaign after all. As they celebrated, however, the purple Gem tucked herself back into the shadows, her brief smile turning back into a petulant scowl, one that hinted at her true intentions for agreeing to this scheme in the first place. “And who knows?” she muttered to herself. “Maybe it’ll finally be enough to get Stan to admit he was wrong… even if it is technically against his will…”

Since Gravity Falls had had few mayoral elections in general, much less any in recent years, it was no surprise that many of its residents showed up for the “General Mayoral Stumpston Speeches”, which, as the town charter dictated, were indeed held on a large stump near the edge of the forest. As the early proceedings of the meeting were underway, Stan gathered backstage with his ‘campaign team’ consisting of Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Amethyst, who seemed much more eager about serving as the conman’s running mate as she inconspicuously handed the mind-control tie over to him.

“Here,” she said, practically throwing it at him. “Wear this. It’ll make you look less like a chump. Slightly.”

“Ugh, I dunno, do I really have to wear this?” Stan raised an eyebrow as he begrudgingly put the tie on. “It looks like a flag threw up on me.”

“Grunkle Stan, just trust your lucky tie,” Mabel assured with a sly, knowing wink.

“And now, Stanford Pines!” the call from the main stage, and with it, the twins were quick to push Stan towards the curtain.

“You’re on, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel encouraged. “Break a leg!” As soon as the conman had made his way up to the podium, she quickly slipped the other controlling tie on, though as the group had planned, she refrained from turning it on, at least for the moment. “Ok, we’ll only jump in if he starts doing badly.”

“W-well, maybe he’ll do fine and we won’t have to jump in at all!” Steven said, still clearly anxious about this plan as a whole.

“Hiya, there!” Stan greeted the large crowd before him a bit too casually as he leaned against the podium. “Stan Pines here. Let’s get real. Do you think the women of Gravity Falls wear too much makeup?”

“Y-yeah, no, jump in! Jump in!” Dipper quickly urged, especially as a round of disapproving mutters rippled through the crowd.

Mabel quickly did so, switching the controlling tie on and using it to turn Stan’s rather disastrous opening completely around. “Uh, what I meant to say is… you ladies all look great! And have you done something to your hair?” the conman pointed to a specific woman in the crowd. “Girl, you are workin it!” At this, the spectating women in particular nodded their approval of Stan’s apparently genuine compliments, none of them knowing that they weren’t exactly coming from him even as he continued. “Anyway, I’m Stan Pines. You may know me as the guy who accidentally let all those bees loose in that elementary school a few years back.” As a result in Mabel’s relatively tactfulness in revealing that alarming anecdote, Dipper was quick to take action and swipe the tie away from her, putting it on and giving Stan’s ongoing speech a much safer, more patriotic stance. “But I believe in things: America, freedom, Ameri-freedom!”

A few sparse applause came from the crowd at this encouraging statement, and by now everyone was at apt attention as Stan continued, or rather the twins continued for him. “Like my opponent pointed out, I may not have a pretty face, but if you want a candidate that will listen to you, well, I’m proud to be all ears!” The audience erupted into supportive cheers at this, ones that only amplified as Mabel in particular decided that Stan was going to give the crowd a show. “Now, watch me break it down!” From there, the conman busted into an impromptu break dance, one that got the crowd even more excited to the point that they continued cheering even as Mabel turned the tie off and Stan wandered behind the curtain in apt confusion over what had just happened.

“Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!” Mabel exclaimed as the group received him backstage.

“Uh, y-yeah, I guess it was,” Stan shrugged, still somewhat out of the loop. “I just… sorta opened my mouth and spoke from the heart, or… gut or something. And what’s that sound? Why are people jamming their hands together?”

“Uh, that’s applause, Mr. Pines,” Steven explained with a bit of an apprehensive smile. “It means that people like you and what, uh, you said…”

“They… like me?” Stan asked, peeking out of the curtain onto to find that the crowd was cheerfully chanting his name in nothing less than unbridled support. Support that the conman didn’t exactly remembering garnishing, but was more than glad for all the same.

“There he is!” Toby Determined exclaimed, running up to the group backstage with a camera in hand. “Mr. Pines, can we get a picture?”

“Yes, we Stan!” the group exclaimed in bright unison, all grouping together and posing for a photo for the paper. However, as soon as Toby had left and no other passerby were in the vicinity, Amethyst casually leaned over to Mabel and made sure Stan couldn’t hear her as she dropped her voice down to a whisper. “Yo, Mabel, lemme see that tie for sec.”

“Ok,” Mabel shrugged, seeing nothing wrong with letting the purple Gem test the tie out as she handed it over to her. A mischievous smirk crossed Amethyst’s features as she slipped it on, using it to instantly take control of Stan amidst his satisfaction for how well his speech had gone. And from there, the purple Gem saw no reason to hold back from the lowkey revenge she had been craving for quite some time now.

“Heya, kids! Its me, Stan!” Amethyst mocked and the conman followed perfectly along with her overexaggerated tone and movements. “I smell weird, my hair cut’s gross, and I gotta eat a ton of ‘fiber’ and ‘vitamins’ cause I’m super old and crusty and lame. I got a bunch of freaky secrets cause I think it makes me look cool but it really just makes me look like a shady creep.”

“Uh… Amethyst?” Steven attempted to interject, sharing a concerned glance with the twins at what they were hearing the purple Gem make the conman say, but she outright ignored their worry as she simply continued her string of outright embarrassment.

“And now its time for my shady old man dance!” Amethyst continued, barely holding back laughter as she guided Stan along in a haphazard, wild frenzy of a dance, one that was nothing really more than a reckless lash of limbs that ultimately ended in a jump that the conman likely wouldn’t have been able to pull on his own accord. But to the purple Gem, the best part of it all was the resounding rip that came from the conman’s pants as she made him land in a clean split, one that elicited a wild gale of laughter from her while also prompting the kids to intervene.

“Amethyst, what are you doing?” Dipper asked in apt confusion over the purple Gem’s odd behavior. “That tie isn’t a toy! We’re only supposed to be using it to help Stan win the election!”

“And we already did that, ya dork,” Amethyst huffed, her laughter dying down a bit. “Since it worked so well, I figured I’d just play around with it for a second. There’s no harm in that, is there?”

“Uh… there might be seeing as how I’m not sure Grunkle Stan can really move like that anymore…” Mabel noted with a frown, nodding towards the conman who was still in a controlled split much like Amethyst was.

“Amethyst, its bad enough that we’re using the tie to control Mr. Pines at all,” Steven said quite seriously. “But using it to make him say mean things about himself is even worse. You’re one of his best friends! Why would you wanna embarrass and hurt him like that?”

“I dunno, Steven, maybe cause I just do, ok?” Amethyst shot back crossly. “You guys need to lighten up. This is the most fun I’ve had since Garnet and Pearl got into that big Sardonyx fight. Everything’s been a total drag since then, and this is the only time I’ve actually gotten to enjoy myself since it did and I at least deserve that after all this junk’s been going down, don’t I?”

The kids looked to each other hesitantly upon hearing this harsh question, all three of them knowing that they couldn’t very well argue against her on that point. With Garnet and Pearl at continued ends as they were, Amethyst was very likely the one most caught in the middle of a conflict she really had no part in, and as a result, things couldn’t be easy for her. But as she playfully, albeit mockingly controlled Stan, it seemed as though she found some sort of odd catharsis, one that lifted her spirits higher than they had been in quite some time. Would it really be right of any of them to deny her the levity she so clearly needed, even if it was rather crass and shameless and questionable on all accounts?

“Uh… w-well, we-” Steven began, but once more, Amethyst was quick to cut him off.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she abruptly concluded before launching Stan into another round of embarrassment, this time in the form of using the tie to make him comedically walk into a nearby tree over and over again. All the while, however, the kids watched on in growing worry, all three of them sharing the slightest feeling that perhaps Amethyst’s sudden barrage of mind-controlled pranks on Stan had less to do with a sudden need for arcane fun… and more to do with something else entirely.

Throughout the rest of the week, the election continued onward, and with it, Stan’s popularity steadily rose as the twins continued using the tie to maintain every one of his public appearances. The conman’s ratings in the polls skyrocketed as the kids made him spout out patriotic and positive morale, morale that was more than enough to garnish the support of the somewhat dim-witted residents of Gravity Falls generously give him their unbridled support. While it was true that after each debate and speech was said and done, Amethyst always made sure to have her fun in using the tie to discreetly embarrass Stan in some way, for the most part the conman was none the wiser, and neither was anyone else for that matter. The uneasy start to Stan’s campaign was all but forgotten as he quickly took the lead in the election, and by most projections it was clear: the conman was going to pull a miraculous win and more likely than not become Gravity Falls’ new mayor. A very real possibility that some took much worse than others.

“Augh! Darnit! Gosh hand huckleberry honeysuckle darnit!” Bud shouted as he slammed down the latest newspaper proclaiming Stan’s growing popularity among voters. The other members of his campaign team sitting at the table around him were all rather startled by the car salesman’s frustration, though given his rapidly sinking chances, it was rather understandable. “Erm, excuse my language,” Bud quickly apologized, using a pamphlet he had on hand to wipe the sweat from his brow. “Oh, this is bad! This is real bad! I-I need to speak with my campaign manager, please excuse me for a moment.” With that, the car salesman hastily retreated into the other room of his lot, locking the door tightly behind him as he anxiously turned to face the bright television screen before him. “L-look,” he began nervously, gripping his hat tightly in his hand. “I’m sorry about all this. This is a minor setback, but… w-we’ll win. I’m sure of it.”

“Minor setback?!” Bud flinched as his ‘campaign manager’ on screen swiftly spun around to reveal none other than the incarcerated child psychic himself: Gideon. “MINOR SETBACK!? You listen, daddy, and you listen good! Prison is a nightmare!” He shouted petulantly, throwing his fist down harshly on the table before him. “I eat the same slop every day! They have no hair products in here! I can’t sleep cause my cellmate took my pillow for a wife! You think I’ve been havin’ fun in here?!”

“Hey, best friend!” another prisoner cheerfully greeted Gideon as him and another inmate stepped into the frame.

“Don’t be late for friendship bracelet class!”

“I have finger painting at the same time!” Gideon fiercely shot back, tossing a book on the table at the prisoners and prompting them to quickly flee. “The mayor resigning is my one ticket outta here,” the child psychic continued addressing his frightened father. “Which is why you’re gonna win this election, pardon me outta prison, and we’re not gonna let the Pines OR the Crystal Gems get in my way again!”

“B-but you don’t understand!” Bud protested earnestly. “Stanford’s doin’ great in the polls! Its almost like magic!”

“Hm… magic, you say…?” Gideon mused as a sly, sinister smirk crossed his features. “Well, maybe its time to fight fire with fire! I’ve been savin’ this for a long time…” The child psychic said as he pulled a withered old page out of his large pompadour, one that he had managed to hold onto from journal 2, even after the book had been confiscated from him at his arrest. The page itself was an ancient incantation for possession, one that would allow the one who spoke it to magically and easily take control of someone else entirely. “I’ve just been waitin’ for the right moment to use it…”

“Now, boy, we’ve discussed this,” Bud cautioned as firmly as he could. “No more spooky spells.”

“Well, Daddy, maybe you just need to have more of an open mind…” Gideon smirked, not bothering to hear any more of his father’s legitimate concerns as he began to read the incantation. “Lleps live ykoops, lleps live ykoops, live ykoops!”

As the child psychic continued chanting, not only did his volume steadily rise and his eyes start to glow stark white, but the lights in the room Bud was in began to ominously flicker on and off before the bulbs busted entirely, much to his alarm. “Boy, s-stop that!” the car salesman pleaded, though he was unable to really resist the spell as he fell back and grabbed his head in pain. “A-anything but that! Augh!” Unable to fight back against the possession his own son was pushing upon him, Bud’s eyes began glowing the exact same white as Gideon’s, one final fearful scream escaping him before the child psychic took full control, finally ready to exact his vengeance upon both the Pines family and the Crystal Gems once at for all.

“Alright, team, listen up,” Dipper began, his tone quite serious as he addressed Mabel, Steven, and Amethyst as they gathered at Greasy’s Diner for one final campaign meeting. “Today’s election day which means we have to be at the top of our game at the debate this afternoon. I was thinking that I start things off by appealing to the voters’ sense of logic before Mabel comes in with a round of encouraging promises and politically correct jokes.”

“Ugh, do we really need to plan all this junk out?” Amethyst huffed impatiently as she put her head against the table. “Stan’s basically already won, we got this in the bag. Why don’t you guys just let me have the tie and I’ll give that crowd a real show for a change?”

“Considering how you used the tie on Stan after yesterday’s speech and made him break a pickle jar against his head, I think that’s… a pretty terrible idea, Amethyst, no offense,” Dipper countered sternly.

“Uh… I have an idea!” Steven hesitantly raised his hand. “S-since this is the last debate, maybe we don’t have to use the tie anymore. Its like Amethyst said, Mr. Pines is already gonna win, so… m-maybe we could just… not mind control him against his will this time?”

“Oh what, so he can just be free to ramble on about how he thinks handicap parking spots should be outlawed or how he wants to round up a task force to run every 3rd grader out of town?” Dipper remarked rather caustically.

“We really should keep using the tie, Steven,” Mabel rationalized much more evenly. “Just to play make sure Grunkle Stan actually wins this.”

“And to make Stan shove a bunch of leaves down his pants,” Amethyst added wryly. “Cause that’s my idea of winning.”

Steven let out a small, disgruntled sigh at this, his general uneasiness towards the tie idea still ever rising as he received an all too blunt reminder that none of the others seemed to really care just how wrong this all was. All week long, they had been wrenching control that was rightfully Stan’s away from him, all without at least letting him in on the truth of their deceit, and in the process, they were tricking not only him, but the innocent voters of Gravity Falls as well. Their entire campaign was built on lies and facades that had only been accumulating more and more with each passing speech. And as a result, Steven was getting to the point that he could no longer idly stand by his friends and accept this trail of trickery. Yet as outnumbered as he was against the twins and Amethyst on the idea, the young Gem wasn’t sure if there was really much he could do to change their minds, or really even put a stop to it at all. Unless…

“Hey-o!” As if right on cue, Stan burst into the diner, clad in a more casual suit than his usual one as he sauntered in with apt confidence for a soon-to-be-elected candidate.

“Stan!” the diner customers all greeted him back brightly, his popularity among them needing no introduction.

“Now just the ladies!” the conman called playfully.

“Stan!” the women in the restaurant chorused warmly.

“Now just the ladies my age!”

“Stan!” a single old woman cheered, much to Stan’s chagrin.

“Woof! Never mind!” the conman cringed before taking a seat at the table where his campaign team was gathered.

“On the house, Mr. Big Shot!” Lazy Susan exclaimed sweetly, setting a pile of complimentary pancakes before Stan before heading off with a supportive salute.

“Now this I could get used to,” the conman smirked, preparing to dig in to his free breakfast before Mabel hastily stopped him.

“Grunkle Stan, what’s with the outfit?” she asked, noting that his tan suit wouldn’t easy be accompanied by the mind control tie. “You’re missing your lucky tie.”

“Power tie, gotta wear it,” Dipper added succinctly and seriously.

“Aw, come on, have you seen the polls?” Stan asked, rolling his eyes. “I could debate naked and still win!”

“Huh, now there’s an idea…” Amethyst muttered to herself with a mischievous smirk.

“Heh, seriously though,” Mabel countered with a nervous laugh. “We need you to wear the suit and tie, Grunkle Stan.”

“Suit and tie, gotta wear it,” Dipper punctuated once again, this time more insistently.

“Ugh, why do you kids have to constantly tell me what to do?!” Stan exclaimed hotly, clearly annoyed by their badgering. “You don’t see Amethyst doing that, and she’s my running mate, for crying out loud! Its basically her job to boss me around!”

“I’d try but its not like you’d actually listen anyway,” Amethyst remarked dryly, letting out an exasperated huff as she did.

“Besides,” Stan continued just as admantly as before. “Everyone in this town is finally showing me some respect! Maybe its about time you kids should too.”

“Well, maybe we’d respect you if you took things seriously for a change!” Dipper argued rather crossly.

“I am taking this seriously!” the conman shot back, slamming his fist down on the table. “If you haven’t noticed, everything that’s come out of this golden mouth has put us on top. With or without your dumb advice!”

“Uh, a-actually, that’s not… completely true…” Steven interjected, much to Dipper, Mabel, and Amethyst’s shared alarm.

“Uh… S-Steven? What are talking about?” the purple Gem said with a forced, anxious laugh, one that quickly turned into a disapproving scowl.

“Yeah, kid, what are you talking about?” Stan asked, raising a genuinely confused eyebrow.

For a brief moment, Steven hesitated under the scrutiny of the twins and Amethyst, but even so, he wasn’t about to harbor this immoral secret any longer, especially since he was actually under pressure to finally reveal it. “W-we’ve been using a special mind-controlling tie invented by Mr. Ford to control you during every one of your speeches and that’s how you’ve been winning so far!”

“Steven!” Dipper, Mabel, and Amethyst scolded in unison, their well-kept secret now completely out in the open.

“What?!” Stan exclaimed, looking to the trio with apt shock and dawning anger. “You mean to tell me that you four have been stringing me along like I’m some kinda puppet all week?! And you weren’t even planning on at least telling me about it?!”

“No, we weren’t,” Amethyst answered coldly and honestly. “At least until somebody decided to blab about it.”

“I’m sorry, guys, but Mr. Pines deserves to know,” Steven said, not regretting his sudden reveal. “I know you just want him to win the election, but what you guys have been doing isn’t right, especially you, Amethyst.”

“So I used the stupid tie to pull a few pranks,” the purple Gem scoffed. “Its not like its really worse than anything I’ve done before, right, Stan?”

“A few pranks?” Stan repeated, quite confused before he let out a gasp of realization. “Wait a second… that rip in my pants the other day… that pickle juice that got spilled all over my suit last night… that was you, wasn’t it, Amethyst?!”

“I dunno,” Amethyst shrugged, unconcerned by her mischief. “Might’ve been. It’s not like you have any proof.”

“I have the fact that you just up and admitted to it a second ago!” the conman exclaimed harshly, sending the purple Gem in particular a bitter glare. “You know, it’s bad enough that my own niece and nephew don’t have any shed of respect for me, but I never would have expected something like this from you.”

“Oh yeah?” Amethyst countered, sitting upright as her manner turned even more hostile. “Well I never would have expected you to keep so many huge secrets from me, so I guess we’re both pretty disappointing, huh?!”

“Yeah, I guess we are!” Stan shouted back, standing up from his seat.

“Well, if I’m such a disappointment,” Amethyst began, jumping onto the table so she could be face to face with the conman. “Then why don’t you just go ahead and find yourself another running mate?!”

“I might as well seeing as how you’ve done pretty much nothing to actually help me in this election or with anything else for that matter!” the conman exclaimed with brutal honesty before addressing the kids as well. “In fact, I don’t need any of you! You can tell that know it all Ford that he can keep his fancy light bulbs and magic ties! I’m gonna win this debate on my own, without any of you!”

As Stan began to storm off out of the diner, Amethyst hopped off the table, shouting angrily after him. “Yeah, go ahead and do everything by yourself without letting anyone else in! Its not like that’s a huge change for you after the past 30 years, is it?!”

“A-Amethyst, where are you going?” Steven asked with apt concern as he noticed the purple Gem beginning to leave as well.

“As far away from Stan as I can get,” Amethyst growled bitterly. “I hope he loses that dumb election for all I care. Maybe it’ll finally be enough to take him down a peg for once.”

And with that, the purple Gem made her exit, leaving the kids behind in a state shared of worry and dread over just how sour things had turned, not just between Stan and Amethyst, but for their hopes of salvaging the election as well. “This is bad…” Dipper remarked with an apprehensive frown. “Really bad.”

“I know! Amethyst and Mr. Pines were really upset with each other,” Steven said fretfully. “I’ve never seen them yell at each other like that. It was terrible!”

“No, not that,” Dipper shook his head before pausing for a beat and correcting himself. “Ok, yeah, that was bad, but I’m talking about the election! If we want to beat Bud now, then we’ll need to find another candidate, fast!”

“What we need is a blank slate,” Mabel mused. “Someone totally suggestive! An empty piece of clay we can mold to our whims.”

“Hey, a little help, dudes?” Soos interjected as he came out of the nearby bathroom, a large sweater stuck to his head by the sleeve. “I accidentally got my head stuck in my shirt sleeve. Guess this is my life now.”

Upon the handyman’s entrance, both Dipper and Mabel exchanged a knowing grin, confirming that they had indeed found their new impromptu candidate to take Stan’s place. Steven, however, was not so immediately on board with this idea. “Uh, hold on a second, you guys,” he cautioned earnestly. “Before we repeat this whole mind control tie disaster, I think we should at least let Soos in on the plan first.”

“What plan?” Soos asked curiously as he peeked out from his sweater at the kids.

“We wanna use this mind controlling tie on you so we can make you say what we need you to so we can beat Gideon’s dad in the mayor election,” Mabel explained plainly and succinctly, holding said tie up.

“Is that all?” the handyman asked rather casually. “Sure, I’d be down for that, dudes.”

“Wait, really?” Dipper asked, exchanging a confused glance with Steven.

“Yeah, I got nothin’ else going on today,” Soos shrugged. “I could spare a little time to become the new mayor.”

“Uh… well, its… good that you’re ok with it, I guess,” Steven said with something of a relieved, albeit bewildered smile. Really, all three of the kids were quite relieved to have found a spare candidate at such a short notice to fill in for the now rouge Stan. Only time would tell if Soos would actually be enough to carry them to the sought-after victory that, by all accounts, they needed to get.

In order to capitalize on his currently under construction “Mount Deweymore”, Mayor Dewey had ordered that the final election debate would be held directly under the progressing monument. The soon to be former mayor himself was in the process of selling commemorative merchandise for the half finished mountain while other preparations for the debate were underway. Voters filed into the stands, picking up handfuls of election birdseed on the way in that they would eventually throw at their favored candidate to guide the ‘mayor picking eagle’ in deciding who would win and who would lose.

Among this large group, Amethyst discreetly slipped into one of the higher stands, making herself rather scarce as a result of not really wanting to be seen here. In truth, the purple Gem wasn’t quite sure why she had even bothered to show up to watch the debate in the first place. She honestly had very little investment in the election as a whole, and after her recent falling out with Stan, she really had no interest in offering him any signs of her support, at least not outright. At the same time, she hadn’t really shown up to watch his entire campaign inevitably crash and burn as a result of his own infamous tactlessness either. The reason for her attendance here was really just as much of a mystery to Amethyst as it would have been to anyone else, but she had shown up all the same which meant that the most she could really do was wait and see whatever was about to unfold here, however successful or disastrous it might be.

“Welcome to the final debate in what is sure to be, on a cosmic scale, a forgettable blip in human history,” Shandra Jimenez began to announce the debate both live and to her camera news crew. “Here come the two most popular candidates!”

Sure enough, both Bud and Stan climbed up on stage and to their respective podiums, the latter’s manner oddly cutesy and charming, even as he brightly addressed the conman next to him. “Oh, hello there, Stanford! Long time, no see! Tee hee!” he chuckled, playfully nudging Stan with his hip.

“Don’t you ‘tee hee’ me,” Stan scowled coldly. “I’ll debate you into the ground.”

“Oh, but I have a widdle twist up my sweevy-weeves,” Bud remarked coyly, his eyes glowing the faintest blue though the conman didn’t really notice.

“You are making me very uncomfortable right now,” Stan remarked, eyeing his opponent suspiciously.

“But what’s this?” Shandra Jimenez questioned as the crowed ‘ooed’ in interest. “One new candidate has entered the ring!”

“Wait a minute, what?” Stan turned to see Soos sauntering up onto the stage, the mind control tie fixed around his neck as he blankly smiled and waved to the audience. The conman stole a brief peek backstage to find the kids there, obviously using the other tie to control the handyman just as they had been doing with him thus far, much to his fury, especially now that they were using it against him like this. “Why, those backstabbing little-”

“Let the debate begin!” Shandra announced, ringing the nearby bell as the open round of questioning began.

“First question,” Manly Dan said as he rose to stand. “What’s your opinion on axes!?” The lumberjack paused, squinting to read what was on the question card before correcting himself. “Wait, I mean… taxes?!”

“Easy,” Stan began confidently enough. “Taxes are the worst! I propose we stimulate the economy by waging war on neighboring cities. We have the canons!” Upon hearing such an unsavory idea, the crowd wasn’t afraid to show their disapproval of it through a round of loud booing, much to the conman’s worried confusion. “Uh, I-I mean…” he trailed off, looking through his notecards for help only to find none as the crowd continued reacting coldly. From her high up seat, Amethyst cringed somewhat at the poor reception, shaking her head as she realized that Stan really was quite terrible at this on his own. Not that she had expected him to be that great at it in the first place, but still, he had apparently surpassed even her own low expectations.

“I don’t know much about taxes,” Soos started next, the kids taking turns controlling him backstage. “But I can promise you a kitten in every pot. That doesn’t make any sense, Mabel. You don’t make any sense, Dipper! Guys! Stop fighting!”

Though a ripple of confusion filled the crowd at this bizarre display, Bud was quick to fill it with a much more appealing rhetoric. “Friends, friends!” he addressed the crowd warmly. “Can’t you see what’s happening on this stage? These ‘politicians’ are dancin’ around the issues! Well… I can sing around the issues!” With this, the car salesman tore his normal clothes off to reveal a loud, sparkly leotard underneath it, one that had a small screen bearing the American flag attached to it. With a showy flare, Bud caught the guitar that was thrown to him and quickly jumped into an upbeat song and dance that easily garnished the excitement of the crowd. “Oh crime is bad! Crime is oh so bad! Vote for Bud and there ain’t gonna be no crime! Crime’s bad! Vote Bud!”

As the car salesman ended his song with a flashy wink, the crowd cheered happily, throwing their round one birdseed right into his bin, showing their approval, much to Stan’s concern, as well as the kids’ backstage as the debate went into a short intermission. “We’re getting eaten alive out there!” Dipper exclaimed fretfully, pacing in front of Mabel and Steven. “Since when is Bud… creepily adorable?”

“And how did he come up with a such a catchy song?” Steven wondered, just as bewildered. “Seriously, that’s gonna be stuck in my head all day.”

“It doesn’t make any sense…” Mabel mused thoughtfully. “He’s almost acting like… like-”

“Widdle ol’ me.” All three of the kids spun around with a gasp to find Bud standing right behind them, completely out of it as a result of the child psychic on his screen, who was controlling his every word and action even as far away as his prison cell. Gideon smirked smugly as he regarded the trio, all three of whom were immediately on guard as soon as they caught sight of him. “Aha! Hello there, Pines twins, Universe. Long time no see! Except in my revenge fantasies where I see you three on an hourly basis.”

“Gideon! I knew you were somehow behind this!” Dipper exclaimed admantly. “You’ve been controlling Bud!”

“And it seems you’ve been controlling Stanford!” Gideon countered knowingly. “I figured it was the three of ya. You’ve gotten much eviler since the last time I saw you.”

“Uh, just for the record, I really never approved of the whole mind control plan to begin with,” Steven said with an earnest shrug.

“Well, regardless of whose idea it was, I’m sorry to tell ya’ll that it ends right here, right now! Daddy!” Gideon snapped his fingers, ordering his possessed father into action. Before any of the kids could even have a chance to flee, the surprisingly strong car salesman rounded all three of them up, securing them tightly in his hold and toting them to the service elevator that led up to Mount Deweymore. Despite their cries of protest and intent attempts at struggling to break free, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were unable to do so as Bud tightly tied them up together inside the hallowed out center of Mayor Dewey’s part of the statue, which just so happened to be where a majority of dynamite intended for the mountain’s construction was stored.

“Behold! Your grand view of the debate!” Gideon proclaimed smugly, commanding Bud to back away from the trio as they still continued to try and escape the ropes wrapped around them. “Once I win this election, I’ll finally rule this backwoods town!”

“You’ll never get away with it, you creepy little dork!” Mabel shouted fiercely.

“Oh, I’d be happy to spare you, Mabel,” Gideon said, sending her a flirtatious smirk. “If you agree to be mine. I even made you this wedding dress in crafts class!” The child psychic held up something that vaguely resembled a dress, though it could have easily been mistaken for anything else given its incredibly shoddy craftsmanship. “Don’t ask what its made of.”

“Ew, I’d rather die, you creep!” Mabel cringed, her longstanding disdain for the child psychic just as apparent as it had always been.

“Fine, have it your way!” Gideon exclaimed, resuming his formerly triumphant attitude. “Once I win, they’ll hit the plunger for the fireworks display, finishing the mountain’s construction and trappin’ ya’ll inside. I’ve been trapped behind concrete all summer; now let’s see how YOU like it!” The child psychic let out a sinister laugh as the kids let out a shared gasp of fear over the very present danger they were in. Say hello to the next mayor of Gravity Falls!” Gideon proclaimed with a final wicked laugh as he commanded Bud to leave the kids to their grisly fate. A fate that, by all accounts, they had no idea how to escape from, at least not on their own.

Everyone down at the debate itself, however, was completely unaware of the trio of trapped kids far above them, including Stan as he tried his best to salvage what little goodwill he had left with the visibly displeased crowd. “A-and that’s why, um… the Statue of Liberty is our hottest landmark,” he ventured, only to receive a resounding boo from the audience. “Alright, alright, she’s kinda manish. What do you want from me?”

As a result of Stan’s plummeting approval, the crowd readily tossed even more of their birdseed into Bud’s bin. The car salesman sent a smug smile at the conman, who still had no idea as to who was really pulling the strings behind his opponent’s campaign whatsoever. Even so, Stan let out a worried sigh as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, wiping the sweat from his pocket as he took a much needed breather. “Ugh, you’re dying out there, Stan,” he muttered to himself, knowing that the chances of him winning now were next to none. He did take pause for a moment to look towards the audience again, hoping for any single show of support at all, only to find none.

Or at least, none upon a first glance.

Because as the conman looked again, he happened to spot a certain purple Gem who had almost managed to blend seamlessly into the crowd. In fact, he only managed to notice her due to the solemn, almost sympathetic look she was sending him, one that startled Stan quite a bit given how harsh their falling out earlier had been. Amethyst was quick to look away upon being spotted however, crossing her arms and glancing down with renewed bitterness and also what appeared to be a hint of embarrassment, though it was hard to say given how far away she was. Even so, Stan sighed again, finally realizing just how much of a mistake he had made in his own stubbornness and folly. Because certainly, without the aid of the kids or even the purple Gem, there would certainly be no winning this election on his own. “You kids were right all along…” he remarked to himself, looking down at the speech the twins had written for him. “I should have listened to you when I had the chance. To all of you…” His expression was a bit sadder as he looked up towards Amethyst again, who actually managed to meet his glance with slight confusion, but plenty of sadness and remorse all her own.

However, whatever moment the pair might have had was abruptly interupted as a familiar, frightened cry suddenly rang through the air. “Help! Help us!”

“W-what the-?” Stan was the first to hear this cry that conspicuously sounded like it had come from Mabel. The conman swiftly spun to face the mountain towering over the debate, only to have his worries confirmed when Dipper cried out next.

“We’re strapped to a bunch of fireworks!”

“A-and they’re about to go off!” Steven added amidst the trio trying their hardest to shuffle out of the mountain cave through the one opening in the floor they could find. However, unbeknownst to them, it was actually one of the statue’s nostrils, and below it was nothing but a massive drop to the ground far below them. They were quick to discover this however as they slipped out of it, only managing to remain tethered to the inside of the cave by the rope that had tied them all up, though it was clear that it wouldn’t support their shared weight for too long. The townsfolk watching the debate were quick to notice the kids’ peril high above them as a round of fearful gasps and screams rose up from them all, including Stan and Amethyst.

“Kids!” the pair exclaimed in horrified unison at the very obvious danger the trio was in. Danger that was only amplified as the rope holding them up continued to whittle down more and more, much to their immense fear.

“L-Listen, everybody!” Stan quickly turned back to the tense crowd before him. “This debate is over! I gotta go save my family!”

“N-now calm down, everyone!” Bud tried to smooth things over, “Those, uh… those are just some… demolition dummies! Nothing to see here!”

“Can it, Gleeful!” Stan shouted harshly, fiercely tearing the sleeves off his suit jacket as he let out a fearless yell. Without a second thought, the conman rushed backstage, but he was soon stopped by none other than Amethyst as she raced behind the curtain after him.

“Stan, wait!” she exclaimed, every bit as worried as he was. “What the heck’s going on?!”

“It’s it obvious? The kids are in trouble!” Stan pointed up at the trio hanging by practically a thread above them. “Now come on, we gotta go save them!”

“…We?” Amethyst took pause, raising a suspicious eyebrow at the conman. “What, you mean you actually want help this time?”

“Ugh, seriously, Amethyst?” Stan groaned in exasperation. “We don’t have time for this!”

“No, of course, you never have time for this,” the purple Gem huffed, crossing her arms. “But you always had time for lying and sneaking around and pretending to be something you’re not, huh?”

“Uh, Amethyst, we can’t be doing this right no-”

“I just wanna know why,” Amethyst continued, growing steadily more incensed by the moment. “Why you thought it was ok to keep the whole twin brother—fake names—portal thing from me all these years! Did you really think I was like the kids and I couldn’t handle the truth? Because you and I both know I know a lot more messed up things than that. Did you even once think about telling me, or did you just plan on keeping me in the dark forever like I’m some dumb old rock who doesn’t deserve to know what’s really going on?!”

“Of course, I thought about telling you the truth!” Stan countered with equal harshness, knowing that he simply couldn’t let such an accusation go. “A bunch of times! You were the only person I ever even considered telling everything to before that portal opened! But… I couldn’t risk it.”

“Couldn’t risk what? Me telling Garnet and Pearl? You really think I’m that stupid?!” Amethyst was shouting by now but she hardly cared. She had been bottling all of this anger up for far too long now and it desperately needed to finally come out. “I wouldn’t have told them, you know I wouldn’t have! I kept our Revenge Trips a secret from them and from Rose for 8 damn years! And during all eight of those years and even up until just last week, I was dumb enough to think that you were the one person who actually played it straight with me, who didn’t leave me out of the loop or who didn’t lie to me around every turn. But it turns out I was wrong about that too since you were the one who lied to me more than anyone else.”

Stan was silent for a moment upon hearing this outburst, a small, remorseful sigh as he tried to think of some way to respond to it. In the end, however, he decided to go with the best thing he could think of: the truth. “I meant… I couldn’t risk putting all that on your shoulders.”

Amethyst flinched at this, not having expecting such rare sincerity from the conman. “H-huh?”

“Like I said, there were a bunch of times I had thought about telling you the truth,” Stan explained. “About the portal, about the fake names, about Ford, about everything. But… I knew you had lost your memories about all that stuff, and even if I didn’t know how or why, I guess… I guess I just… thought you were better off not knowing. That if you learned about all that, then… you’d fall apart, just like I did back when I first lost Ford. And after a while of running the road and wreaking revenge with you, I guess I thought that you just… didn’t deserve to carry the same weight around that I’ve been lugging for years. I’ve gotten us into a lot of messes over the years, but this was one mess that I wanted to keep you out of.” The conman shook his head morosely. “Guess that didn’t really work out the way I wanted it to in the end though, huh?”

“No, it didn’t,” Amethyst remarked, her tone still bitter though it softened up somewhat upon hearing Stan’s genuine, almost caring explanation. “Because now, everything’s even worse than it was back then. We finally got our memories back only to find out we made this huge mistake that was so bad that Rose pretty much had to take it away from us to help us survive. And then Garnet and Pearl get into it because neither of them knew how to handle the truth and now they won’t even talk to each other! And I didn’t even mention how I basically fought against both of them just to protect your sorry ass! It’s awful at home! I feel trapped and the worst part is it’s like there’s no way to escape it all! And its all your fault for keeping this whole damn portal thing going to begin with!”

The purple Gem finally let several of her pent up tears of bitter anger go at this, a harsh sob escaping her as she kept her gaze hard on the ground. Once again, Stan hesitated, immense guilt filling him as he realized just how much his own effective mountain of mistakes had ended up hurting one of his closest friends. For years, he had never even considered the possibility that the secrets he had kept so well guarded would have harmed Amethyst so much and so deeply. But clearly they had, in more ways than he could even really count. And while he wouldn’t have put forth the effort for too many others, Stan knew that he owed it to Amethyst to make amends. If that was even a possibility at this point. “A-Amethyst, I… I’m sorry…” he said, his tone deeply earnest and apologetic.

“W-what?” the purple Gem glanced up, quite surprised to finally hear what she had been looking for from him for quite some time.

“I’m… I’m sorry about all the lies,” Stan sighed, rubbing his arm remorsefully. “And about making you choose between me and your friends in the heat of the moment. A-and for what’s been going on between you three ever since all this mess happened. I really didn’t expect any of this to junk to happen, and I’m sorry that its put you in such a rough spot. Believe me, I know more than anyone else what that’s like and, well… it sucks, plain and simple.”

“You better believe it does…” Amethyst sniffled, wiping her tears away as she sent him a terse glare.

“You know, I don’t expect you to forgive me right away,” the conman shrugged fretfully. “Honestly, I probably wouldn’t either after all the shit I pulled. But if you ever decide you want to, well… I’d… i-it… it mean a lot to me. I-I guess,” Stan finished with an awkward cough, trying to off play his sentimentality as much as he could. Amethyst, however, didn’t respond with the laugh or smile he had been expecting, but rather a pensive, uncertain look, one that the conman found admittedly hard to read. And in the end, her response was every bit as cryptic as well.

“I… I dunno,” she remarked, looking away from him briefly as she shook her head. “I’ll… have to think about it. But, uh, for now? We should probably get back to saving the kids!” The purple Gem quickly picked up her tone as she glanced upwards to see that the rope the trio was dangling by was just about to snap in two.

“Amethyst, you know what to do!” Stan shouted, getting back into action as the purple Gem nodded sternly.

“Right!” she exclaimed, recalling a move they had pulled off a number of times. In an instant, Amethyst shapeshifted herself into a large slingshot, one that Stan swiftly loaded himself into as the purple Gem took aim at the hole in the mountain that the kids were about to fall out of.

“Ready?” Stan asked, preparing himself for the launch with fierce determination to save the endangered trio. “Fire!”

Amethyst did so with a loud shout, shooting the conman straight upward at an alarming speed. As soon as she shapeshifted back into her normal form, she followed after him with a bold leap, ready to help the rescue effort in any way she could. The spectating crowd below quickly caught sight of the conman as he seemed to soar up the mountain on his own accord, prompting a round of very impressed cheers from them as they began tossing their support and their votes in birdseed toward him without a second thought.

“Augh! No, stop it!” Stan shouted as the seeds pelted him on his way up. “Thank you, but stop it!” As a result of the birdseed being thrown on him, a flock of stray eagles began to crowd around Stan, pecking at him as he zoomed upwards towards the kids and no doubt slowing his momentum as a result. “Augh! Get back, you terror birds!” he exclaimed, fiercely punching at the eagles until Amethyst came to his rescue, finally reaching his level and shapeshifting her hand into a large flyswatter to swat them all away. Stan offered her a thankful nod, which she returned just shy of them making their harrowing, but ultimately safe landing in the hole just above the kids. The trio themselves were in a state of paralyzed panic, unable to do anything else but scream in apt terror as the final strands of the rope suddenly snapped, leaving them to freefall to their dooms. That is, until Stan and Amethyst both grabbed onto it in the nick of time.

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper and Mabel exclaimed, relieved as the pair began pulling them up to solid ground.

“Amethyst!” Steven cheered just as happily. “Wait, you guys are… working together again?”

Stan and Amethyst exchanged a brief glance, seizing each other up for a moment before the purple Gem shrugged in acceptance. “Yeah, I guess we are. N-not that that’s a big deal or anything.”

“Y-yeah, don’t read into it cause its really no big deal,” Stan said, just as flustered as Amethyst was. “A-anyway, I’m sorry for being so stubborn, kids. I guess being the town hero wasn’t enough. I wanted to be yours too.”

“Aw, we’re sorry too, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel said, sincerely apologetic. “We should have supported you, win or lose.”

“Probably lose,” Dipper deadpanned truthfully.

“Hey, I can still drop you, ya know,” Stan remarked, though of course he didn’t as him and Amethyst finished pulling the kids up to safety. As soon as they were up, the pair didn’t hesitate to pull them into a tight, secure hug, glad to see that they were all unharmed. It didn’t take long for the pair to untie the kids’ ropes, finally freeing them and allowing the group to venture out on top of the statue’s nose so the townsfolk could see that they were all alright. The audience erupted into a frensy of relieved and excited cheers, all of them liberally tossing their remaining birdseed into Stan’s bin on the stage until it had easily beaten out the amount Bud had previously accumulated, much to a certain child psychic’s fury.

“No! No! No! No!” Gideon shouted through his possessed father, quickly utilizing his control pull out the primed remote detonator he had managed to get his hands on earlier, just in case. “Time to take care of you, once and for all!” With that, Bud pushed the remote, prompting the fireworks inside of the monument to begin to tick down from thirty seconds, much to the alarm of the group standing on top of it.

“Oh no! We have to get out of here!” Steven shouted fearfully, especially as the time on the countdown ticked away ever faster.

“Pfft, that’ll be easy,” Amethyst remarked confidently. “Though, it may involve one of our more… daring stunts, Stan. If you’re up to it, that is…”

“You know I am,” the conman countered wryly, though his daring did decrease somewhat upon seeing just how high up they really were. “Kids,” he addressed the twins, his tone suddenly solemn as a result of the stakes they were facing. “If I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Ford.”

While slightly concerned, Dipper and Mabel nodded nonetheless as Stan pulled them and Steven into his arms. With another nod of confirmation, Amethyst hopped up onto his shoulders, holding onto her perch tightly as Stan rushed forward, leaping right off the statue just as the timer ran out. In a massive, singular blast, all of the fireworks denoted at once, completely destroying Mayor Dewey’s section of the statue, much to the current mayor’s abject horror.

“No! My statue!” Dewey cried, only for his terror to spike as a large piece of the statue’s rubble landed squarely on the memorabilia cart behind him. “My merchandise!” he sobbed as he collapsed to his knees in misery. “My legacy!”

As other pieces of the statue’s remains began raining down, the crowd scattered out of fear, none of them really noticing as Amethyst shapeshifted into a large parachute, one that allowed Stan and the kids an easy landing into the huge pile of birdseed accumulated on stage. At the same time, another large rock landed right next to Bud, knocking him to the ground and breaking both Gideon’s screen, as well as his possession over his father, much to his severe outrage.

“No!” the furious child psychic screamed from his prison cell, tearing the journal page on possession in half as a result of his failed revenge. “NO!” He shouted once more, grabbing his own receiver screen and tossing it across the room in his continued temper tantrum that lasted quite some time while his fellow prisoners watched on in apt alarm.

Back at the debate, however, things were only just starting to settle down from the explosion, and with the calm down came the release of the freedom eagle. The great bird readily soared out of its cage, not wasting any time in regally settling down near Stan, who was practically submerged in the pile of birdseed along with Amethyst and the kids. Even so, the eagle made its choice, gently kissing the conman’s forehead before flying off into the sunset, having preformed its duty in picking Gravity Falls’ newest mayor.

The townsfolk were quick to catch onto the eagle’s choice, one that they all easily supported in light of Stan’s blatant show of heroism in rescuing the kids. In fact, even as him and Amethyst were pulling the kids out of the pile of birdseed, their joyful shouts of “Mayor Pines!” rose up into the air, rising even over the sound of the remaining fireworks launching into the air from what was left of Mayor Dewey’s ruined statue.

“Well, I guess we know who won,” Dipper noted, sending the conman a satisfied smile.

“Congratulations, Mr. Pines!” Steven chimed in warmly.

“Heh, guess I actually gotta start ‘respecting’ you now, don’t I?” Amethyst remarked, her tone genuinely playful as she elbowed Stan in the knee.

“You haven’t before and I don’t expect you to start now,” Stan countered just as sardonically before both of them shared a much needed laugh. True, it didn’t mean that everything between them had repaired itself just yet, but even so, it was a start. And for now, a start was more than enough.

All the same, the crowd continued their show of overwhelming support for their new mayor elect, who had managed to claim the most unlikely of victories out of what had seemed like a certain loss cause. Even so, Gravity Falls seemed ready to receive its new mayor in Stan, or at least it would have been if not for one minor, or rather, major complication.

“This just in: Stanford Pines LOSES!” the news reported that night, its headlining story showing that Stan had somehow been disqualified from the election altogether, even after his triumphant turnaround victory. While most of Gravity Falls was surprised by this news, none were more shocked than the Pines, Steven, and Amethyst as they gathered to watch the official results of the election at the Mystery Shack later that evening.

“What?!” the group exclaimed in startled unison, all of them leaning in to hear exactly why this was.

“Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote,” Shandra Jimenez reported. “Election officials had to disqualify Stan due to the discovery of an extensive criminal record.”

“Ohhhh, ok, that makes sense now,” Amethyst concluded, sending the conman a knowing look.

“Oh boy…” Stan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Grunkle Stan, what did you do?” Mabel asked, bewildered.

“What didn’t I do?” Stan remarked, nodding back to the TV.

“Said crimes include shoplifting, teaching bears to drive, a new crime he invented called… ‘burglebezzelment’?, first degree… llamacide?”

“That llama knew too much…” the conman growled darkly.

“Due to this shocking development and the fact that none of the other candidates properly filed their paperwork, acting Mayor Dewey has decided to resume his mayorship position for the foreseeable future, rendering this entire election effectively pointless.”

From there, the shot cut to Dewey, back on his old podium before the new ruined Mount Deweymore as he delivered a mournful speech. “Since my… b-beloved Mount Deweymore is no more and it’ll take quite some time to accumulate the funds to rebuild it, I have no choice but to step back into my former role as your mayor… and to sell my once-commemorative merchandise at half price since none of its worth anything anymore…” At this terrible thought, the mayor broke down into another round of miserable sobs as he leaned against his podium, his aids giving him comforting pats on the back before the newscast cut back to Shandra in the studio.

“We will dedicate the rest of this broadcast to listing Stan’s crimes,” she said before she began to read off from an extensive stack of papers detailing the conman’s various misdeeds. “First degree thermometer theft, pug trafficking, snacks evasion, pickpocketing…”

As the list continued on, the group watching quickly turned out, all of them knowing more than well that the conman’s crimes were quite numerous indeed. “Whew, well, at least they didn’t list any of the bad ones,” Stan remarked casually. “On an unrelated note, I have a lot of cheap pugs and I need to move them fast.”

“Hey, you know I’m always down for some illegal pug selling,” Amethyst remarked, elbowing the conman with a grin. “Or anything else you got up your sleeve for that matter, old man.”

“Y-you… you really mean it?” Stan asked, understanding what the purple Gem’s teasing was really shorthand for.

Amethyst hesitated, blushing somewhat before finally letting out a relenting sigh, knowing that harboring her anger towards Stan really only harmed herself in the end. After all, if nothing else, then it would at the very least be a welcome change to finally have someone to talk to openly and honestly in light of the ongoing schism between her teammates. And Amethyst could think of no one else she’d rather confide it all in than Stan himself. “Y-yeah, I guess so… but only if you start playing it straight with me. For real this time… ok?”

“I think I can manage that,” Stan smirked, knowing that he didn’t really have any more secrets left to hide. “Only if you don’t use any mind control ties to make me run into trees again.”

“Oh, yeah…” the purple Gem chuckled awkwardly. “Sorry about that… Like I said, I was… kinda ticked off at you. But I probably won’t do anything like that again. Probably.”

“Fair enough,” the conman accepted with a warm nod, the longstanding bond between them at long last repaired, much to the relief of the kids who had happily watched the entire exchange.

“Aw, this is so sweet!” Steven chimed brightly. “Still, it’s a shame you didn’t actually win the election, Mr. Pines.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper said sincerely. “I actually think you as mayor would have been fun.”

“Eh, maybe its for the best,” Stan shrugged. “I got close to the dream though, so that’s enough.”

“Hey, uh, I knit you something,” Mabel interjected with a small smile, pulling out the knitted sash she had been holding behind her back, one that read ‘Our Hero’ in colorful letters. “It’s not official or anything, but… I think it fits.”

Upon receiving such a genuine memento from his niece, the conman couldn’t help but tear up ever so slightly, his heart warmed by the sentiment, not that he’d ever really admit it. “Grunkle Stan, are you crying?” Dipper asked, having noticed the building tears all the same.

“Ha! He totally is!” Amethyst goaded with a laugh. “Aw, Stan, ya big softie!”

“Hey! I’m not a softie!” Stan protested, though it was clear from his tone that he was indeed a bit choked up as he stood and put the sash on. “I just got campaign confetti in my eyes. Come on, kids. Wanna go vandalize Mayor Dewey’s house?”

“Yay! Vandalism!” the kids and Amethyst cheered in unison, all of them more than ready for a bout of wild and reckless fun. As the others ran out first, Stan took pause for a brief moment, glancing down at his sash with a satisfied smile. True, he hadn’t won the election, but what he had gotten far surpassed any office or title. He had solidified the admiration of his nibblings, had salvaged his treasured friendship with Amethyst, and, perhaps had gained a bit more self respect in the process. And in the end, despite the win and loss and ups and downs, that was all the conman could ever really ask for.

In light of his most recent failure against the Pines and the Gems, Gideon found that he really had no other plans for his evening other than arts and crafts with the other prisoners. Though the rowdy gang of crooks and criminals all deeply respected the child psychic and did just about anything he asked of them, Gideon himself often found their adoration annoying and suffocating, especially at a moment as low as this.

“I’m sorry the election thing didn’t work out for you, bro,” one of the larger prisoners, a man with bizarrely empty eyes who, coincidentally enough, went by the moniker of Ghost Eyes, said with sincere sympathy as him and Gideon crocheted together. “But if it makes you feel any better, we’re gonna throw a riot tonight! Does someone wanna throw a riot?”

“Thanks, Ghost Eyes,” Gideon sighed tiredly. “But I’m just not in the mood…” With this, the child psychic got up and headed back to his cell for the night, lying on the hard slab that was his bed as he stared up at the pale, moonlit ceiling. While most in his position probably would have given up hope for revenge and retribution, Gideon wasn’t one to let things like this go so easily. Especially since he still had at least one more trick up his sleeve.

“This poster is the only thing keepin’ me goin,” the child psychic remarked to himself, glancing over at the motivational poster on the wall beside him that depicted a cat hanging from a tree and read “hang onto that branch or die, cat!” And while its message was darkly encouraging, it was what lay behind the poster that was of the most importance to Gideon.

Upon making sure no one was watching him, the child psychic tore the poster off the wall, revealing the chalk drawing he had been harboring behind it for weeks: an elaborate effigy of two interconnective wheels, each wheel bearing ten symbols each, some of them recognizable and others not. The center of the inner wheel itself was empty, but Gideon was quick to fill it with the drawing of a familiar triangular being, one that he had worked with before, and for the sake of finally vanquishing his enemies once and for all, he was more than ready to work with again.

“I’m finally ready to make a deal, Bill…”

Next: 

[cebeavers]

Cedar Point 2018

May 25 & 26, 2018 Photo Album Video Album

If you can’t find a way to go to Cedar Point during dead week, Memorial Day Weekend has proven to be a great time to head to Cedar Point and find moderate attendance and lighter lines.  In the past four years I’ve spent 3 Memorial Day weekends at the park, and have had a great time on each visit.  Even with the long drive from North Carolina to Sandusky, the trip is worth it to visit America’s Roller Coast, and having followed the transformation of Mean Streak into Steel Vengeance over the last 2 years, I was determined to get to the park this year to ride.  My friends Isaac and Blake joined in, and on Friday morning we headed north.

Isaac found a nice AirBnB about 30 minutes south of the park and, after stopping off there to drop off our stuff and freshen up, we made our way onto the peninsula.  We parked in the Cedar Point Shores parking lot since the Magnum lot was closed, and headed in to meet up with Bryan Bird.  After introductions and salutations, we walked towards Dragster, which was testing after being closed.  The line opened as we walked by, so we quickly got into the queue as the wait wouldn’t be this short all weekend most likely.

Dragster is always a great experience, even if it isn’t a great coaster.  We waited about 35 minutes or so to ride near the back of the train.  Dragster always makes me anxious because of that launch.  This was Blake’s first time at the park and first time on anything like this.  As always, the launch was super fast and intense and I really still like Dragster as a ride.  This was our only ride all weekend because it was being cranky both days.

We walked around the front of the park and headed over towards Millennium Force.  I noticed when driving by that the line started at the end of the ramp and was happy to see that was still the case.  It only took about 30 minutes to get on the ride.  I know the coaster gets a lot of ‘hate’, but I actually really like it.  The first drop is already amazing and the setting can’t be beat.  There is airtime on the two hills hopping back over from the island, and even the small hop by the station gives you a rise out of your seat.  Blake once again loved it.

After that we headed across the midway to Rougarou, which was nearly a walk on, and we got on in the back.  The ride packs a punch and is so much better than Mantis ever was.  We walked around for a bit and thru Frontier Town.  Steel Vengeance had a very long line, so we walked around the park and finally hit up the burger joint back near Steel Vengeance as Bryan said the food was good.  And the food was decent.  The customer service, however, was severely lacking.  It took way too long and they kept messing up orders, but eventually we did get our burgers.  After that we headed to the entrance to Steel Vengeance to get in line to end our nite.  The wait was about an hour and twenty minutes with them running one train.

Steel Vengeance-I can’t even give a proper rundown of the ride.  Its just as good as everyone said, no overhyping here.  The first drop was amazing.  We rode in the back seat.  The 90 degree drop was amazing.  After that you have the two outward banked ejector airtime hills. Then I can’t honestly tell you much about what happened because it was a big convoluted mess.  And I mean that in the most awesome way possible.  This coaster has the intensity of Voyage (the only ride I can say is in it’s category), but without the rattle (however slight) that any wooden coaster can have.  I was weak in the knees and dizzy afterwards for a good thirty minutes.  Instant number one.  It delivers every thing.  All of the things.  It has them.  Airtime, floater and ejector.  Sideways airtime.  Inversions.  Insanity.

So that was the end of the first evening.  I was in total ecstasy.  And it shown thru for the entire ride back to the AirBnB thirty minutes away.  Once we got there we got our stuff together and I took a shower and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning we got up and got ready to head out.  There was a McDonalds down the street that was good for breakfast.  We pulled into the parking lot right around 9am and headed in for Platinum Pass early entry.  We had planned to go straight back and get on Steele Vengeance, but once we got back there the line was already full.  We decided to forgo that till the end of the day once again and get some other early rides in.  And the closest early ride was Maverick.  I still love Maverick in every way.  I’m glad they’re restoring effects.  Thusfar some of the lights in the tunnel are working.  I can’t wait till the LED walls and more of the effects are added back in in the tunnel.  It really helps an already amazing ride.

It was getting close to park opening so we headed up to Valravn thru Frontier Town, stopping by the closed petting zoo for a brief visit with some donkeys.  On our last trip, Isaac and I got a back row nite ride because it was the debut year and the line was really long, and the ride barely ran the next day.  This was my first daytime ride, and we rode in the front row this time.

Valravn-That first drop on any dive coaster is great.  The view from Valravn though, is really beautiful.  While not a huge fan of dive coasters I do think this is the best layout, even if Sheikra has better theming.  The inversions are smooth and that zero g roll has great airtime, which was hitting much harder on this visit.  I really like the coaster more on a second go round.

As we were in the area we hit up Blue Streak, which was (and has been for some time now) running phenomenally along the track.  Great airtime and such a classic coaster.  Then we walked over towards the front of the park.  I mentioned at some point that I wanted to ride Ocean Motion as I never had, and it has such a cute, quaint setting.

Though I'm still trying to get back down to my pre-surgery weight of 2015 (I’ve lost 20lbs since December!), I’m not skinny enough to ride Wicked Twister.  And that’s fine for now because I know I’ll be back down.  But I didn’t want Isaac nor Blake to miss out, so after getting some Starbucks I told them to get in line while I sat and watched and had some coffee.

Since we were already in the area and close to Gatekeeper, that was what we got in line for next, which was basically a walk-on.  Maybe a one train wait.  I know this coaster gets a lot of flack for being big and snoopy and boring, but I like big and snoopy and don’t think it’s boring.  Plus it’s very stunning to look at.  After Gatekeeper I took Blake to see the top floor of the Coliseum, knowing that he’d love the big band era art deco.

We decided to have lunch, and with Isaac having some food allergies, and Blake being in the mood for it, we decided to hit Panda Express.  Oh, and since I have the dining pass, I was fine with it too.  We walked over to Melt first as I wanted to try it out at some point and decided to have dinner there.  Then we walked to the main midway and followed a marching band.  As we walked across the park we were able to see some of the rehearsal for the new show on the former Luminosity stage.  Meh.  I liked Luminosity. Once we were done eating we got in line for Iron Dragon.  This was actually one of the longer waits of the day, clocking in at around 20 minutes.  But thats okay.  I can give or take Iron Dragon, but didn’t want Blake to miss out.

I wanted to see what the wait for Steel Vengeance would be like so our next stop was back in that corner of the park, but sadly the line was well over 2 hours.  We walked back to the main midway and hit up Derby Racer.  I love this thing.  I really need to ride the other 2 at some point.  At that point we were on our way out the front gate to move the car and hit up the water park for a bit.  The lines were even lighter at Cedar Point Shores.  I never visited Soak City.  The current waterpark looks outstanding.  Much better than what it used to be.  We weren’t planning on staying very long.  After changing into our swim trunks we headed over to some random slide complex and did a pink slide.

Isaac and I had wanted to do the drop slides, as we love them at Carowinds, but we passed for the moment and went to the big family raft slide.  As we neared the top, we could see a storm coming our way.  The large raft slide was really a lot of fun, and I got some good airtime up the side of the trough.  At the end it was starting to sprinkle, so we went for a dip in the older lazy river.  I wish Carowinds’ Lazy River was this long (Or that they had 2 like CPS).  As the rain got heavier we decided to call it a day at the water park after about an hour and a half just as the bottom dropped out of the clouds.

We went into the bathhouse and changed while basically being stranded in their for around 30 minutes.  Then once the rain subsided enough we headed to the car then drove over to Hotel Breakers for a drink at their bar.  I also had a cinnamon bun from Starbucks whilst drinking my Long Island Iced Tea.

The sun came out while we were hanging at Breakers so we headed down the boardwalk and entered the park by Windseeker, which I contest is still the best one of the group thus far.  Then I wanted to get some pictures from the Ferris Wheel, so that was obviously next.  We had looked at the line for Raptor before going to Shores, but it was still long.  At this point, however, the line was maybe 20 minutes so we hit that up next.  Blake and Isaac were then going to get their credits on Corkscrew as I took some photos, but the line was really long so we headed to Melt for dinner.  This was my first (and hopefully not last) Melt experience.  Our server was great and so was the food.  I like all of the nostalgia Cedar Point pictures in the restaurant.

A ride on the CP & LE railroad was our next stop.  Had it not been getting late we’d have rode the entire circuit but Blake still needed some rides and we hadn’t ridden two of the best rides in the park, so we took another look at Steel Vengeance’s line, then headed over to Gemini.  At this point it was only running the red side, but the ride was still super fun as always.

By this point it was a little past twilight and we headed to Magnum.  I couldn’t take my small nap sack on so I waited for Blake and Isaac to ride, then Isaac took all of our stuff to the car while Blake and I rode in the front of the car at nite.  Magnum is as glorious as ever, even if I didn’t get trim free rides this time.  But that’s…okay.

Blake still needed the mine train, but I needed a bathroom, so I told him to go ride that since I knew it would be a walk on while I went to the restroom, then we headed to Steel Vengeance to meet up.  The fireworks were going off as Blake and Isaac arrived and we got in line just before the point we had the nite before.  Again it was somewhere between 70 and 90 minutes to ride, but I lucked out and got a ride in row 8 as a single rider.  And it was still so amazing.  As we walked to the Magnum entrance to the park, I saw my first Dragster rollback.

My only main issues with the visit was that obviously they’re only running one train on Steel Vengeance, otherwise I’d have ridden a few more times as lines were light all weekend.  Cedar Point nearly every year is starting to spoil me as I’ve been 3 of the past four Memorial Days.  I think I’ll likely skip next year, but I will definitely be back for more of America’s Roller Coast soon.

We headed back to the AirBnB and we were all wiped out, so I fell asleep pretty soon after closing my eyes, ready for the drive the next morning to Kings Island.

[sunnysaysbookreviews]

Now to balance out the bad, lets bring in a perfectly decent read. Synopsis: At birth, Mick Trewlove, the illegitimate son of a duke, was handed over to a commoner. Despite his lowly upbringing, Mick has become a successful businessman, but all his wealth hasn’t satisfied his need for revenge against the man who still won’t acknowledge him. What else can Mick do but destroy the duke’s legitimate son—and woo the heir’s betrothed into his own unloving arms . . . Orphaned and sheltered, Lady Aslyn Hastings longs for a bit of adventure. With her intended often preoccupied, Aslyn finds herself drawn to a darkly handsome entrepreneur who seems to understand her so well. Surely a lady of her station should avoid Mick Trewlove. If only he weren’t so irresistible . . . As secrets are about to be exposed, Mick must decide if his plan for vengeance is worth risking what his heart truly desires. Thoughts: This book for me, fell on the meh side. I love revenge romances. Literally the groveling and moment where the woman is like "you bastard!" Is some of my favorite in romance. The romance between these two was an intensely slow burn. Like the slowest of slow. And its infuriating but it also makes the tension go THROUGH THE ROOF. I loved Mick. Adored. He is so adorable to be honest with his whole, must take revenge on my father thing. So cute. But come on dude. You are extremely extremely successful, you have a great family, is this realllllllyyyy the only thing you care about? (Small spoiler ahead. Consider yourself warned me maty) And then Aslyn. Oh Aslyn. Okay. I like her. But I never. Ever. Think cheating is okay. And while she does quickly cut it off with her betrothed, she does let it go a little to far with Mick. The real dissapointment for me was the fact that Mick had to do almost no groveling or apologizing. Aslyn just forgave him and then SHE had to win him back. I know it makes no sense. However, this book was an enjoyable read that i liked enough to finish in one sitting. Lorraine Heath's writing, as per the usual, is funny, witty and charming. She delves into baby farming, which is something ive never read about in a romance, and it was fascinating and grotesque. Overall 3/5 stars.

image/gif

[skye-babbles]

A Monster of the Deep

Flour has coated the floor an unnatural white, yeast has turned the table into a desert, and dishes have turned the counters into mountains of soap and grime. A huge mess created by a loose hen distracting a poor woman in a bakery. As the woman put the hen away and cleaned up, the baker came in. It took only a minute for the baker to become enraged.

“You’re fired, Nanoe!” The beaker screamed at the woman. “Go back to your quaint town where everyone protects you, because here you just make a mess!” The baker then shoved the beautiful, young woman out the door before slamming it shut.

“Fine! That’s what I’ll do!” Nanoe stormed off to the harbor. “Not a single good thing has happened since I tried to find a job…” She approached many sailors and asked them to take her home, but not even one would take her across the sea. She overheard one crew talking about going to her home, so she waited until the ship was empty then slipped on board.

 ~~~

Only a few could keep warm while rigging the sails and bracing for impact of each wave that clashed against the ship. Prayers went to the heavens for those worried about the lightning and thunder.

“You!” cried the captain as he pointed a slender finger. “Get yer arse down ta de cargo bay an’ check for leaks!”

The man he pointed at headed down hearing a few murmurs of “lucky Samson.” Sure, he could get out of the rain, but if he found a leak – oh boy. He knew the crew wouldn’t envy him then. As he checked, Samson discovered Nanoe deprived of food and water for the two days they had been at sea. She struggled against his hold but was no match. Once Samson discarded her onto her side on the top deck, he stated, “We ain’t got a single leak, captain, but I did find us a woman.”

“A woman?!” A crew member crowed, “No wonder the sea’s been actin’ anxious!”

“If yer gonna be so noisy, go check the sails, Olly!” The captain commanded.

“Yessir Captain Jonas!” Olly remarked and went back to work.

Captain Jonas, Nanoe recognized that name. Rumor has it that he worked with pirates then became a regular sailor…

“What da we have here?” The captain faced his stowaway. “Well, a girl, is it? What did yeh plan ta do on meh ship, missy?”

“I just wanted to get home to Mistbarrow! No one would take me!” she cried.

“Jus’ wanted ta go ta Mistbarrow?” Jonas mocked. “Ha! The sea don’ accep’ women an’ I don’ accep’ no stowaways.”

The crew laughed and mocked Nanoe; the tension around her gave them a release from the captain’s commands.

“Tie her up an’ toss’er over!” Olly exclaimed in his excitement.

“Yeah!” Echoed Finn, the ship’s brownnoser.

“What?” Nanoe squeaked out. “No! Please! I…I can pay you!”

The captain doubled over in laughter which the crew echoed until Jonas silenced them. He sneered, “Pay, missy? There ain’t no payin’ fer women on boats ‘ccept in two ways. Yeh can strip an’ show the sea…” He trailed off as he looked her over.

Terrified and embarrassed, Nanoe peeped, “Wha’ts the other way?”

The corner of Jonas’s lips slowly sloped into a smirk as he stepped away. “Samson ‘ill show ya.”

Samson tied her up and picked her up with ease while the crew glanced at the crying and begging girl as they returned to work. Samson tossed her overboard.

Nanoe screamed then cried for help as the waves instantly crashed at her from all sides. The waves pushed her closer to the sandy floor. Water filled her lungs. Darkness crept into her vision. Her lungs burned with every breath she tried to take. The she lost it. Lost consciousness.

The ship and its crew may have moved on, but Samson would never forget the pleading screams of the woman he killed.

 ~~~

I’m alive. It must have been a dream. No – a nightmare. Yes, that’s what it was. Nanoe thought with her eyes still closed. She tried to move on her comfortable bed, but found her movements restricted by a slimy thing around her. As soon as her eyes snapped open, the slimy thing fell away. It was the rope Samson had tied around her, she discovered as she looked around the sea floor.

“I…I can breathe? I can talk? Am I dead?” Nanoe watched a large, white, softly glowing creature swirl around her. It took her seconds to realize that her legs were now a rainbow tail. “My legs! What happened to them?!”

Startled, the creature split into schools of glowing fish of all colors of the rainbow and swam away from her.

“Wait! What type of fish are you?” Nanoe chased a small group of green fish to an island. They separated amongst the many sharp rocks at the base of a cliff. Nanoe broke the still surface to a sea of stars. Unaware of where she was, she pulled herself onto a rock and sobbed into her newly webbed hands. “What have I become? Those sailors…they…they turned me into this! They did this! I’ll make them pay! The whole crew!”

As the night dragged on, Nanoe took the time to understand her new body. Her hair had remained its gorgeous brown, and her tan skin was unchanged; however, that was where the similarities ended. Her new tail was similar to the mermaids of legend, but the tips of the fin were spiked, as was her dorsal fin that lined her back. The webbing between her fingers was the same color as her skin, but slightly more translucent. Her fingernails were nonexistent, and finally, her teeth were as serrated as a shark’s. She wasn’t hungry anymore, but she knew she would be soon. She learned how to use her altered body to swim and eventually eat a decent meal.

Once full, she sat on a rock again and sighed. The boredom and loneliness was too much for her to bear. She passed time in the only way she knew: she sang. An unfamiliar ship sailed her way and didn’t stop until it crashed into the rocks in front of her. Nanoe did nothing, could do nothing as she sat in shock. “How did they not see the cliff? Why didn’t they see the rocks? What was wrong with them?”

Nanoe sang again and another ship met their fate, but she was still too shocked as a thought occurred to her. “Is it me?” She asked no one. “Am I sending these men to their deaths?” Time passed slowly before she saw another ship to which she sang and watched it crash. “It is me. This…this is the perfect way to get revenge on those sailors!”

She waited for Jonas’s ship then sang the crew to their death, only to find that the original crew changed ships. She screamed in frustration and tossed around debris.

An older man with sharp teeth, a green tail, and graying hair cautiously approached Nanoe. “Child! What are you doing?” He called out to her.

Nanoe turned on him. “I was turned into this by sailors!” She gestured to her body. “Now I will make them pay!”

“But so many?”

“Those were all accidents!”

“One is an accident, child, more than once is not.”

“Then maybe all of them deserved it! Sailors are all the same!”

The man shook his head in disappointment. “Why slaughter the innocent for a crime committed by a few? Who deemed you judge of their lives?”

“No one!” Nanoe raged. “No one ‘deemed’ me anything. Sailors are all so similar, who cares if more die? Let the world be rid of them!”

“Doesn’t that make you more like the ones who left you here? These sailors, these men, came this way likely to help you. They had families who cared for them and await their return, but these men never will.”

Nanoe sat silent; his reply hit her hard. Minutes passed as she realized the horror she committed. “What,” she paused and took in the death that surrounded her. “What have I done? I just wanted to go home. But now? Now I’ve become…” She slid down into the water.

The man put his hand on her shoulder and soothingly spoke, “Child, I know it is difficu-“

Nanoe ripped her shoulder away from him. “What do you know?! I’ve turned into a killer, a monster! I have nowhere to go, and I’m never getting back to my family or friends. I can’t care for anyone, and no one will care for me again. Who could care for a monster? A killer of men?” Tears soaked her face and added to the salt of the sea.

“Perhaps my family could care for you, child. Perhaps they could help you adjust to your new body and control yourself.”

“Why would you help me? We don’t even know each other.”

“My apologies, it seems I forgot my manners. My name is Aqros and I- shelter, yes, shelter and care for many people in this corner of the sea.”

“I am Nanoe.” She spoke after a moment of hesitation.

“Will you come with me, child?”

Nanoe stared silently at his extended hand.

“Unless you would prefer to stay here?”

“NO!” Nanoe took his hand then quieted her voice. “No, I’ll go with you. I don’t want to cause any more death.”

Aqros pulled Nanoe down to the depths, and even though she practiced swimming on her own, she struggled to keep up. They swam past some of the wreckage, most of the bodies trapped under the waves, and the plethora of different kinds of fish. They drew near to a castle.

“You live in the castle?” Nanoe was breathless with awe.

“Yes,” was Aqros’s simple reply. The light of the castle illuminated six girls of varying ages that came to greet them.

“Father!” the youngest one shouted, swimming towards them with her pink tail and matching shell necklace which complimented her sandy-brown skin.

“What happened? Are you alright? Who is that?” A girl with gold corral holding up her brown hair asked. When she moved, Nanoe could see blotches of brown amongst the girl’s tanned skin near her yellow tail.

“One question at a time, Nixie. Father can only handle so many questions at once.” Another girl scolded; her brown skin with blotches of tan gorgeously contrasted her red tail and scrolled seashell necklace.

Aqros chuckled, picked up the youngest whose short hair bobbed like a jellyfish, and answered Nixie’s questions. “I found who was causing trouble and talked to her. I am perfectly fine, and this is Miss Nanoe.” He gestured to her with a smile.

“You’re such a pretty girl!” A girl with a light blue tail a brisingid starfish in her hair commented.

“Of course you would say that.” Nanoe looked away.

Nixie piped up, “Why would you reply like that?”

“Because I’m no longer normal.” Nanoe stated.

“Yes you are, silly! You look like the rest of us.” The youngest giggled.

“Ria, Miss Nanoe was once human, now she is one of us. Pavati, Nerissa, Coralina, Nixie, Kaia, and Ria: Please take care of her for me. Teach her how to control her body. Unfortunately, I have business to attend to.” Aqros waited for all of his daughters to agree before he left.

“I’m off to check on the catfish. The rest of you can take care of her.” The eldest, Pavati, left without an answer from the others. Her silver tail and silver-feathered coral personified how upset she was.

“Play with us, Nanoe!” Ria and Kaia – the one with the light blue tail – tugged on Nanoe’s arms.

“Would you like a tour of the kingdom first?” Coralina, the one who previously snapped at Nixie, smiled enthusiastically.

“Why not both?” Nixie suggested.

“Because we need to teach her how to swim first, like father told us to.” Nerissa – a girl with completely brown skin, a navy blue tail, and a matching blue-feathered coral in her hair – responded for Nanoe to the other girls’ dismay.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do all of that later,” Nanoe included. The others cheered and spent the day devoted to teaching Nanoe.

Meanwhile Aqros communed with his council of advisors.

“My lord! Tell me I have heard incorrectly!” An aristocratic council member cried out.

“It depends on what you have heard; there are always rumors floating about,” Aqros replied calmly.

“I have heard that you left the criminal in you daughters’ hands.”

“Are you saying my daughters are not capable of handling Nanoe?”

“No…”

“Then you heard correctly.”

“But sire, a concerned female council member interrupted, “She destroyed homes with the ships she sank. She should be in jail now at the very least!”

“Silence!” Aqros snapped, “A human woman awoke, changed into something she had never seen before. She did not know her own power until it was too late. My daughters will teach her better. I have spoken. Onto different matters!

It took a while; however, Nanoe eventually  gained total control of her body. It wasn’t long until “tag” was shown to Kaia and Ria, the whole kingdom was shown to Nanoe, and Nanoe’s longing for shore was shown to the sunset.

On her way back from her daily view of the sunset, Nanoe took a detour through a ruined district. She spotted Pavati tending to someone’s wounds, so Nanoe approached her.

“Pavati?”

“What are you doing here?” came the aggravated reply.

“What? I’m returni-“

“Here! Where you ruined these people’s homes. Where you hurt them! Leave Nanoe. You do not belong here.”

“I’m sorry, Pavati. I didn’t know.” Nanoe left, but didn’t stay away. She returned the following day with food and supplies only to get scolded by Pavati again. Nanoe continued to return to help the people by tending to their wounds and helping to rebuild their homes. Pavati began to tolerate Nanoe and eventually even bonded with her.

 ~~~

A day not much later, the girls all decided to surprise Aqros by greeting him before dinner. They caught him in a meetings, so they put their ears to the door and listened to find the perfect moment to surprise him.

“I told you, they are not a threat to us. Do not take action,” Aqros warned.

“But what if Nanoe discovers that the sailors who tried to kill her are just above the surface?” A usually quiet female council member spoke.

“I have no need to worry. Even if she does learn the truth, I trust that she will not harm them.” Aqros responded.

“What if she does harm them, My Lord?” The aristocratic member retorted.

“I think he means, what if she sinks the ship and destroys more homes? The previous ones are still being rebuilt and the people are still being cared for.” The always concerned councilwoman stated.

“Would you be prepared,” A gruff councilman’s voice spoke up, “to throw her in jail at the very least?”

Aqros hesitated before he answered, “Yes. I would be prepared to do so; however, I still believe in her. She has changed so very much for the greater.” He opened the door, and his eyes widened at the sight of his daughters before him. “Girls? What are you doing here?”

“We wanted to go to dinner with you,” Kaia answered bashfully.

Aqros fondly chuckled, “You are all so precious…” As he looked over their smiles, he noticed something peculiar. “Wait a minute. Where’s Nanoe?”

The girls all turned to look except for Ria who said, “What do you mean, Father? She’s right-“ Kaia turned Ria around to show her that Nanoe was nowhere in sight.

Meanwhile, Nanoe sang on the cliff and watched the ship get closer. Aqros, his daughters, and the council broke the dangerous surface just as Nanoe stopped singing. Jonas’s ship managed to get away with difficulty, which forced them to land on the island. Nanoe then slid back into the water.

The ever uneasy councilman confronted her, baffled features marking his face. “You let them go? Why?”

“Because revenge couldn’t have brought me the happiness I wanted.” Nanoe answered with a smile at Aqros and his family. “I’ve experienced that happiness these past couple of weeks with my friends.”

“What about your old friends?” Nixie the ever quizzical responded. “And your family?”

“To be honest, I never had great friends. I’ll miss my family, sure, but I can’t go back and changed what happened by killing that awful crew. Besides, I get to be with all of you now, and I couldn’t have wished for a better place to be.” Nanoe smiled softly and hugged Aqros and his daughters. “Thank you all for all you’ve done.”

 ~~~

Something soft was in Nanoe’s arms as she opened her eyes. Someone recognizable was watching her from the chair next to the bed. An annoying machine beeped behind her head. The woman in the chair gasped.

“Noah!” she cried. “Tim! Tim, Noah’s awake!”

A pale man appeared next to the pale woman. “You ain’t lyin’…”

“Who’s Noah?” Nanoe’s voice croaked, her throat rough like sandpaper.

“You are, baby,” The woman responded through tears worriedly.

“Don’ fret, Joy. The doctor said he might not remember. We can help him be himself again, starting with this,” The man took a soft rainbow mermaid from Nanoe’s arms. “My son doesn’ need this girly thang.”

Nanoe whimpered in protest. She was too weak to hold onto the toy, but she knew that it meant a lot to her.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? That’s the only thing that helps Noah sleep.” The woman responded.

The adults continued to fight about a “Noah,” but confused Nanoe simply wanted to be with her family again. The girls she had come to love as sisters, the father who always accepted her, even the council who had grown on her. Nanoe missed them all.

The adults seemed to care less about her, or Noah, and kept arguing. They mentioned a car crash and whose fault it was that Noah was in the bed. Nanoe felt they were talking about her, but she was so tired that she didn’t care. The machine behind her stopped beeping. The adults stopped arguing. The darkness surrounded her once more.

Joy freaked out at the machine. Tim found a doctor to help, but nothing could be done. Tim held Joy long after Noah’s last breath, long after the doctors and nurses named a time of death, and long after the hospital staff left.

Noah on the other hand looked peaceful – his suffering finally over.

Nanoe found comfort in the darkness as she swam back to her favored family of the sea.

[9r7g5h]

Today truly is a day of freedom, because I am officially free of Hercules. Which is a really sad mindset, because overall, it was decent. Was it the best, most amazing show in the world? No, nowhere close. But overall, it wasn’t the worst thing to ever exist.

But it was never amazing. That’s the sad thing- this show had a great premise, it honestly did. The legendary Hercules, going around helping people, saving the world from supernatural forces that normal mortals can’t deal with. It should have been this amazing, really enjoyable show.

But it wasn’t. It was one of those shows where I dreaded watching it at times, only forcing myself to continue because I was determined to see everything in the Xena/Hercules universe. It was, at its best, just alright, on par with most of Xena’s just ok episodes. It’s most enjoyable episodes were the ones that didn’t make me cringe. But its bad ones? Its bad ones honestly put me off tv for a while, they were just that bad.

It felt like a chore. And honestly, it felt like a chore because I didn’t care.

With Xena, they spend a ton of time going into the characters- their hopes, their dreams, their regrets, their fears. They spend tons of time exploring the characters and their development. We get to watch as they grow from these strangers in the first episode through this amazing story into the women we know and love by the end of the series. When they hurt, we feel that. When they’re enjoying themselves, we’re enjoying ourselves. When they’re angry, we get angry with them.

That’s a mark of a good show- amazing characters. Characters the viewers love and care for above all else. Sure, good plot is great, but characters are what really makes a show and keeps it going.

For Hercules? The characters just…existed. They never really grew. Oh, side characters did! There were these amazing characters that showed up for one or two episodes that had amazing character growth.

But Hercules? Iolaus? The two main guys that we’re watching the show for? Yeah, no. They pretty much stayed the same. From episode one to episode 150, they never really change. There’s some slight differences, depending on the situation- they might be angrier than they were an episode before, or sadder, etc- but overall they were exactly the same. Nothing ever changed. They were incredibly static characters, and as main characters? That’s awful to watch.

It became a chore, because there was nothing to draw you in. With Xena, events had lasting effects on them. You can see how something in season one later affects season three which later affects season five. The girls learned and grew and became different people. But watching Hercules, the exact same two men walked away in the series final as the two men who walked in on the first one.

So there was no emotional draw. At all. And emotional draw is actually one of the saving graces of shows- if the characters are strong enough, they can overwrite almost any bad plot. But if they’re just as weak? That’s a recipe for failure.

Speaking of the plot, it was very simple, monster of the week. Which isn’t bad, it can work really well. But it didn’t feel like there were any risks involved. Hercules was this super strong, assumedly immortal character that could do no wrong. Everything he tried worked the first time, and things rarely ever went wrong.

Now, sure, Xena did the same thing, but the threat of a risk was still there. There was still a chance Xena could fail, and we see that. She does fail, multiple times, and faces the consequences of that. With Hercules, he fails only once, a single time, and by then it’s too late in the series to make me care. I just sat there and shrugged, because alright then? That happened. It played back into the fact that I had no emotional attachment to the characters, so I just really didn’t care.

If the plot had been good enough to carry these static characters, then maybe my feelings about the show overall would be different. But as it is, everything is just very meh. The best was alright and the normal majority of the episodes were just there.

Which overall combines into a decent show, an alright show, an ok show to have playing in the background while you’re doing other things. But one that I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving? One that I count as the height of tv, perhaps one of if not the best show to ever exist?

Not at all. Which is sad, because it could have been great. By all account, it should have been great. But it fell far short, and that’s just a shame.