#i feel this so strongly
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floorpancakes · 11 months ago
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iykyk (gay repression metaphor that rhymes with rat gex)
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emcaco · 1 year ago
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Learning an invisible rule and internalizing it forever, bending yourself into zigzags to fit in between the conflicting ones.
You make it work, because there is no other option besides the cliff.
And we've been on the other side already. Down on the floor is the freak, the weirdo, the uncomfortable silences and meaningful looks and no one wanting to be in your group. You're on this side because you climbed out of there. Inch by inch. Lesson by lesson.
Problem is there is no happy plateau. You're always on the cliff, clinging, exhausted. No breaks.
(Unless you're alone, the shameful indulgence in breaking rules, but if anyone saw you if anyone saw you)
People describe letting go being like flying but the floor is only one step down.
because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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darcyolsson · 2 years ago
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i could never be american because whenever I get a big drink I'm like oh great now I have to drink this big drink. i have to take care of this big drink they gave me. everything is terrible in the world
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k9effect · 6 months ago
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Tiktok's censorship of words like rape, kill, murder, abortion etc. etc. as well as censoring hard to hear topics, over the past few years has deeply contributed to the sanitisation of the internet and therefore directly resulted in the birth of "fandom purists" and the destruction of old fandom culture (the death of "don't like, don't read", "ship and let ship" mindsets as well as safe spaces for dark and "immoral"/unethical storytelling i.e "dead dove: do not eat") in a way that has fundamentally changed the mindsets of people who are new to fandom spaces and now view these such topics as wildly inappropriate for any social space as well as deeming anyone who is intrigued by them narratively or creatively as "immoral" and a bad person. In this essay I will
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kittyprincessofcats · 1 year ago
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ICJ Ruling
Okay, let's get into this.
First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.
However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:
The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.
The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".
The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)
The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?
In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:
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He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".
And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?
This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.
We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.
(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)
So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.
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aquaheartgirl · 8 months ago
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Liking something and respecting it are entirely different. Personally I hate most rap music and jazz music because I just don't like the way it sounds. But that's not the same as saying that it's objectively bad or that I have a problem with it. No one should be pressuring you to engage with music/media you dislike, especially if you've already given it a chance. The only way you would be TA is if you insulted other people for liking the things you don't, but you've made it clear that isn't the case. NTA, if people have a problem with your taste, that's entirely their problem.
🎶🎶🎶 for later!
AITA for not listening to certain genres of music?
I (24m) am in college, and work in a lot of advocacy/multicultural spaces. I'm a POC, but not African American which becomes relevant. I have very narrow music tastes, I'm neurodivergent and tend to listen to the same songs ad nauseum, but I was recently told by a colleague that it comes across as racist/anti-black if I say I don't like rap/genres with black roots (jazz, blues, etc.). This person also makes comments about "decolonizing" your music taste/art appreciation/media consumption in general, but beyond educating yourself about themes/roots of media I honestly don't know how to be unproblematic in this kind of situation.
I say "I don't like x" about a majority of music genres, but always with the caveat of "I understand it's roots/history, appreciate it's vocals/message/tecniques, but it's just not for me" and I mean this very genuinely. I've take multiple classes in music theory/history in high school and college and have played multiple intstuments where i would perform music across multiple genres that i didnt personally seek out in my day to day.
I don't shit talk other people's music taste either, and if someone is playing something I don't personally seek out I'll still listen without comment. I really just wanted to check and see if saying what I said can really be considered racist, and if so is there a way I can phrase it better/explain myself without sounding/feeling defensive? I'm not looking for anyone to put down my colleague at my expense, genuinely want this to be educational/clarifying for me!
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asharaks · 1 year ago
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it is, i think, symptomatic of the way larian has built this brand: bg3 was always marketed as being mature (read: sexual), and that was one of the big draws for players - myself included! especially as media pulls more towards extremes, with mainstream video games starting to get increasingly graphically sexual, graphically violent, and the vogue for 'grey morality' becomes the norm, those boundaries get pushed, and it becomes more and more of a selling point.
larian obviously focused on this, along with the How Do You Do, Fellow Kids brand, the increased accessibility of game devs on twitter, and adopted it heavily into their marketing strategy, and are now pretty reliant on the horny gamer crowd for a lot of their audience, and more importantly, they're doing this on purpose.
which is how you end up in situations like this.
characters (white men) the players want to fuck get centred: they get updates, they get more content, they get favoured. halsin's gone from a side character in EA to a half-fledged romance option, to a full romance option: he shows up in the promotional material, is larian's poster boy for the sex scenes, he gets more content with every update.
now gortash gets more heavily implied situationship lines with the dark urge, because players are horny for him. nevermind that some people aren't playing that way, or that he was originally set up to be a lower-level antagonist; nevermind that if the durge's storyline needed expansion, it should've been with orin and sarevok and bhaal, or that it muddies the writing for the rest of gortash's arc + characterisation: people want to fuck him, so it gets put in the game. it's not even to do with karlach, whose quest so desperately needs expansion! it's specifically catering to the people who want their character to have a Relationship with the slaver, because they're either not interested in or not able to focus on strengthening the weak spots in the narrative: they're just doing things that will net the 'my favourite dating sim' people lmfao.
meanwhile, literal main character wyll gets his quest demoted to a subquest, doesn't get bugfixes, doesn't get a single unique romance greeting after 6 patches and months of requests. he's not a Horny character, so he doesn't get the focus: he's not a player favourite, so he gets nothing. it's just... so unbelievably, indisputably racist, and it's incredibly grim and disappointing to watch it happen in real-time.
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lazylittledragon · 5 months ago
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
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gludgenbell · 7 days ago
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My son, My son
You are my shining son
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My moon, my stars
My clear blue daylight sky
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aq2003 · 3 months ago
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twelfth night main plot: haha bisexual love triangle that is gay in both directions! haha mistaken identity and gender fuckery haha
malvolio side plot:
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starscream-is-my-wife · 15 days ago
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Starscream got infected by a truth telling virus, and with that comes a rare opportunity for an interrogation
Some things come out that even Starscream didn’t know
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bamboorocket · 3 months ago
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IDK y'all I just think Okami portrays a very interesting mutual relationship between the gods of its world and the people who believe in them. It's all but outright said that a god is only as strong as the worship it receives, and when the people's belief in the gods starts to wane, they start growing weaker. It's even reflected in the mechanics: the resource you use to make your health/ink/etc stronger is praise. When you arrive in mortal Nippon, worship is at a low, and you are nowhere near the glory you used to be, and only through spending the Praise you get along the way do you start to actually level up and feel like the god you're meant to be.
But it's not all on the people to be worshipping the gods. The relationship is mutual: when people feel the gods don't show themselves in things not 'big enough' to warrant their presence, they start regulating them to things of fairy tale and legend, only praying to them in times of strife and when they're 'needed', and not often in between. And sure, the main quests give you enough praise to get you up from ground zero and get you over the proverbial finish line. But the only way you can max out your stats--reach that level of godhood you know you can be-- is to put in the effort to do some of the sidequests too.
Errands as nothing more than that Weird Dog running around town. Blooming trees and plants with no one around to watch you. Hell, even feeding animals that don't once speak back in your tongue. Praise no one is giving you because a favor was asked first. Praise out of gratitude for making the world just a little bit better, even when it's outside of what's expected from a god of your station.
If you find ways to show that you love the world you look after, the world will show that it loves you back.
And that is what makes you truly powerful.
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princema-k · 3 months ago
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ha ha ha wheeeee
(individual smaller expressions under the cut!!)
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bonus:
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if a total of Two (2) people are interested i will ramble abt my hcs abt layton's emotions REQUIREMENTS HAVE BEEN FULFILLED!!! check here for my rambles :)
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filthyguts2 · 15 days ago
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muse
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moonhze · 4 months ago
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anadius has made it so so easy and safe for people to obtain ts4 and all of its packs without paying for them and i really wish more people knew about this bc the only way to get EA to pay attention to the terrible state of the game is to literally stop giving them money, 🏴‍☠️ the packs to keep playing the game u enjoy but know they only care about appeasing their shareholders/investors/whatever they are and they're all driven by money and have very little interest in the playable state of the game in terms of bugs and features unless the game is so broken that people are actively demanding refunds in mass or just not buying the packs at all.
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percyjackson-post · 11 months ago
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Nico Di Angelo is an absolute sucker for Will Solace. I don’t care how dark and edgy that boy comes off, he’s an extrovert and a hopeless romantic. I need less fanart of Nico rolling his eyes at being shown affection and more of him blushing like a tomato and savoring every second. You can’t convince me that once he realized he liked Will, he didn’t crumble like a sand castle at every interaction. He’s used to giving short, sarcastic answers to almost everyone, but the minute Will asks him a question, I just know he’s full of awkward pauses and stumbling over his words. For months, that boy was staring up at the ceiling of his all-black cabin with his hands on his face as he recalled every single second of the interaction out loud (side note: imagine Hazel doing her best to support him with a giant grin on her face the entire time) because he’s in LOVE. So yeah, less fanart of Nico being too cool for romance and more of him being the love-sick, hopeless romantic he truly is!
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