#i feel so bad for her i can't imagine
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hey, i don't know how many of my followers are still active or if you can help at all, but. in case it helps.
my friend from work was displaced from her home two months ago when the HVAC company she hired to clean the ducts found asbestos in her basement. the workers followed no safety protocols when removing the asbestos and contaminated her entire house. initially they promised to cover the costs for a proper decontamination and replacement of all her possessions, as well as costs for motel stay, but they only paid for about a week of motel before ceasing all communication. she's now started a gofundme to help hire a lawyer to take legal action, and anything helps.
please help if you can, she's a wonderful person and she's already put so much money and effort into her first home only to be forced out due to the HVAC company's negligence.
#gofundme#she bought a fixer upper and it's all she talks about#how she's fixing it up and making it exactly how she wants it#and then this shit happens#she lost EVERYTHING#it's been two months of fighting with these assholes who destroyed her house#they even had the gall to downplay the severity of asbestos. ASBESTOS.#i feel so bad for her i can't imagine
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Baoxiang gives sooo much shit to his brother for not thinking about things while absolutely not being aware that he's also pretty damn excellent at Not Thinking About Things
#wbx seeing the ghost of the maid with dimples: ahhh damn so 'going back to her sick parents' was a lie? who would have thought#people showing him genuine affection: hhmmm fake. they all Despise me deep down#consistently doing the worst thing imaginable and killing everyone he got close to for an Evil Plan that ->#he doesn't even want to carry through but now he feels like he must bc he's Sick and Twisted:#hmm I wonder why I feel so horrible all of the time... it can't be bc doing bad things makes u feel bad surely. it must be The Ghost#for priding himself into being the smartest in the game he is sooo fucking dumb good lord holy fuck#kicking him down a flight of stairs#tre reread#send post
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i cannot stop thinking about anissa and marky though [COMIC SPOILERS]
how did he react when he learned what his mother did? just like mark, he lived a lie. he thought his mother was kind and nice — the only thing that is true is that she loved him, but now, he has no idea if he should believe it
and. you've grown up being conditioned to believe that violence is peace, and that kindness is a lie and a weakness. you hurt people. by hurting a person, by destroying him irreparably, you found the boy you love most: your son. and you don't regret it. you hope one day, once he sees him, he'll get it. but you still don't regret it. you can't say you're sorry
marky will grow up without his biological father, because when mark hugs him he can only remember his mother and what she did to him. your father can't love you the way your mom did. you can't love your mother the way your father loved his
the worst part is, that it she hadn't done it, you wouldn't have existed. you wouldn't be here. your father will grow to love you. you will grow to accept each other. but you tend to wonder — if he never sees you as anything else other than your mother's son, then who will you have when everyone else you know dies?
#i hate anissa but also her character was done so well#like i hate her#fuck her#but jesus christ.#wow#i feel so bad for marky honestly#when anissa said “i don't regret it. tell him. tell him he'll understand when he sees him”#that shit hurt me#that was the WORST time for you to die girl#i was like “idc about anissa thank fuck she died” but then#i put myself in marky's place. and WOWWW#you gotta be strong to deam with that#YOU GOTTA BE STRONG TO BE ANY INVINCIBLE TBH#LIKE WOW.#thinking about mark now#imagine learning that the person who hurt you the most is a better person now#and that means she regrets kt#but then you learn right after her death that she does not regret it at all#you don't even get to hear an “i'm sorry”. not that you'd have listened to it#then you learn she had a son. with you. named AFTER YOU#honestly i can't blame him for allowing things to be THAT awkward w marky#i am so glad the reconciled tho I don't think I'd be able to live if mark's son hated him#tw sa mention#invincible#invincible comic#comic spoilers#marky grayson#anissa invincible#mark grayson#b4 anyone gets this wrong: I DO NOT SUPPORT WHAT ANISSA DID. it's just that marky's relationship w her is smth i would love to see explored
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Your tag saying Mikan is gonna have it rough has me worried. She’s already been through enough! I mean they all have but especially her! I don’t even want to imagine what her haunting is like!
there's no metric for suffering so it's not like she literally has more bad than the boys. I just mean that, to me, things pertaining to childbirth and the menstrual cycle is horror in itself so it hits harder
#It just feels more. Invasive idk. Especially for someone like Mikan whos been physically disrespected SO much#Especially when the source of horror is her first 'true' 'love'#I mean eaugh it's giving me Heebie jeebies just thinking about it#I guess it's a case of. I can't imagine a haunted eye or arm.#But the consequences of something Inside Your Body that you No Longer Want? I can imagine that better#But that's getting into serious dark territory even for me#Not saying any of this is inherent horror btw it's just bad TO ME and also I feel like we shouldn't deny the horror of-#-that specific part of a body being treated as if it doesn't belong to you. You know.#Hey man I would have never chosen this narrative but this is what canon said and I'm just thinking the horror to it's end as comes natural
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sometimes i am reminded of strange comments i receive on my art and i am still baffled.
[ID: Tags reading "your alice looks like shes adicted to heroin and I love that" end ID]
like. no, people who are addicted to drugs shouldn't feel shame over their appearances, ofc. but also Why Would You Say This To Me.
#ramblings with major#tmagp#drugs mention#addiction mention#i feel like i might've made this post before ages ago but i can't remember#in any case 'this character design makes her look like she's been ravaged by the effects of substance abuse' isn't really a compliment#especially since i wasn't exactly. going for that. at the very least it's a very strange thing to say.#also what part of this makes her look that way to you. is it the paleness of her skin? how skinny and lanky she is?#please tell me it's not her crooked teeth.#if it is i might have to kill you#(obligatory Don't Seek This Person Out And Bother Them Please)#again there's no shame in physically bearing the evidence of addiction#but its like. idk presumptive?? like Only People Who Are On Drugs Look Like This and it can't be for any other reason like. idk. genetics.#its just a weird comparison to make/thing to assume i guess. imagine saying this to an actual person#'youre so skinny/pasty/have such bad teeth i love it are you on heroin' like could you imagine#like clearly the person is happy about this design choice. im. im glad about that. but just. what.
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Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.
And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!
(this is about The Boys season four)
#ryan butcher#the boys#How much does Ryan know about his dad's upbringing?#Because he's right... Grace trapping him would've been like Vought and young Homelander... AAAGH#I hate it!!! When the heroes are genuinely more moral than the villains#but they make the same fatal mistakes and doom their cause in the process!!#AAA!!! GRACE!!!!#I don't hate her. I think she was dead wrong but I do not despise her. I know she meant it from the bottom of her heart--#--when she said she loves him.#But as she said it I couldn't help but imagine Barbara saying that to young John in the exact same way...#Grace may not have wanted to be like that but her actions would've had the same effect.#It hurts because I know so much where she's coming from#but it's just dead true that they can't reach a happy ending by treating someone so inhumanely.#Anyway. I hurt#Homelander is EVIL and THE BAD GUY#and this is not mutually exclusive with the fact that HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TREATED LIKE THAT (how Vought raised him)#And it HURTS because the protagonists who were able to get to Ryan understood the first part (Homelander evil)#but not the second!!!! (His upbringing was a moral abomination)#It hurty it hurty because I WANT Ryan to heal...I want SOME kind of closure to what happened to the kid Homelander once was...#Ryan and his dad (insofar as he is Ryan's dad) had the potential to get to that place Hughie described...that place of forgiveness#where it's not win all vs lose all.... where it's confronting hell and making something good out of it...#Homelander was corrupting the trust he and Ryan were building by traumatizing Ryan and pushing him to do evil things....#..but god...GODDD....Hughie was SO RIGHT in his speech... what he and Victoria had is the answer. That's the answer!!!#And there was a MERE GLIMMER of a chance that Ryan and Homelander could enact that healing#And damn!! After the name of the game being 'kill Homelander' for the other three seasons#seeing the answer be 'violence only exacerbates suffering.. let's make things better instead' .... It would've been so amazing...#ah! Too good to be true!!!!#Butcher saying 'If where you feel safest is with Homelander then I won't stop you' HIT SO HARD#knowing that Ryan has felt so afraid....#they made it about the relationship between a child and their abusive parent and uh BIG SURPRISE it's breaking me
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#the twilight saga#twilight#twilight renaissance#edward cullen#mcr#gerard way#gerard sweetie i'm so sorry#i can't imagine what it must have felt like for her#i feel genuinely bad for her#i think edward wouldn't really like gerard's technique as a singer#and he wouldn't really get the lyrics either#i lean towards “no”
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why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!
#ok i know WHY im sad but like bitch we were just vibing hello????#depression go away im just chilling leave me be#i don't wanna be sad rn!!!!!!#fuck being sad!!!!!!!!!!#i know like i need to feel it but UGH#i also need to send a message i really don't wanna send to my family :'))))#nothing like bad or life altering but i know they're gonna wanna talk to me about it and i Don't Wanna Talk About It With Them rn#so#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghhhhhhhh#especially 2 of my sisters cus one is the one who is closest to me#and she or her gf are likely going to bring it up after i say it bc they. idk.#they CARE and ik they do but especially her gf can be very prying about things i don't wanna talk about until she gets answers#and my other sister is the only one who has any hint about what im talking about bc i told her not to ask a while ago#but the thing is she DID ask like a month later despite me explicitly asking her not to bring it up 🙃#so i can't imagine she will respect it this time either#which is largely why i waited until i saw her for the month before sending it#SIGHHHHH i really should just get it over with#alas. i am just here to rant.#this is fine#i don't have any ice cream that SUCKS i should order some#this is an ice cream occasion#shh ac
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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thinking about baby Pastelito wiwiw...
#🖍️ — Silly doodles#(🧁) *.✧ — Pastelito#(☆) 。.゚— Trunks#DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH ENERGY TO DRAW BUT URRGHH I FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT HER#sweet child wiwiwiw just imagine that little round thing running around#I was thinking about her maybe not understanding why she has to fight bad guys so probably she thinks everyone is acting#as if they were playing to be super heroes#now that I think about that she would love the Gammas bc they are meant to be super heroes WIWIWI#probably asks them for autographs#she looks at herself in the mirror like “yes I'm gonna beat some bad guys today” but she doesn't actually hate them#like she would kick Frieza in the ass and then ask him to go to her birthday party#gives all the Ginyu invitations bc she doesn't want anyone to be left out#And probably that comes with her dads being UNHINGED#wdy one of ur dads is a demon#and then you have the most angelic child so full of love. literally can't hate anyone#just a silly little slime bebe....#Trunks must fight for his life to keep this child alive bc THAT'S HIS SISTER#he didn't decide that but what else can he do?#talking about Pastelito's brother wiwiw cytruce#they are literally Silver and Green. Young brother who had to be to careful and protect his older sister too.... wiwiauhgh#I LOVE THEM I'M GOING CRAZY
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Saw someone call contrapoints a nazi so I looked up what's up and this basically sums it up 🤡
#Pov you're a trans woman online#You can't even take people at their word online when people are called nazis terfs etc etc#Why study what words mean when you can just use them to demean people you don't like amirite#I haven't seen her videos in a good couple of years but I feel bad for her#Imagine having a fanbase consisting of this kind of a person#''I want to do politics but I don't want to come out of my online echo chamber#so I'm gonna attack random minor celebrities for the most random shit and artists who negatively draw politics we both don't like''#Unserious ass people#Politics
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"Surviving trauma doesn't make you an expert on other people's trauma" is how I'm paraphrasing your tag. But it's such an important point to me. I feel like not just internet spaces but also societal mental health conversation has been ignoring this for decades. I can talk about this extremely broadly because I think it's one of the problems with 12 step type of addiction treatments. But it's also especially popular in the realm of victims of crime and/or abuse of any kind. Surviving trauma only makes you an expert on your own personal trauma and healing. There is no universal cure for any trauma, everyone needs something different. And treating others requires a level of detachment that rarely exists in amateur survivors of similar trauma. Sorry for preaching about this in your inbox but your tags really reminded me how passionate I am about this. I've experienced people scolding me for abandoning support groups and group therapy types of things when they didn't feel helpful to me because they helped them and "I just didn't give them proper chance".
(x)
Don't apologise, anon! I totally agree, and I'm really sorry that you've had that experience with support groups and group therapies.
I've been thinking about this a lot actually since the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial and the horrific treatment of her during all of that, but it's been a pretty big factor in my life these days in general.
Like, look, this is kind of getting a bit in the weeds of my real life right now, but my aunt's very angry at me and my mum at the moment in a way that's been pretty exhausting. (Putting this below a cut because nobody needs to read this, haha)
My aunt is a victim-survivor of some pretty horrific domestic violence. It was many years ago now, and she's done a lot of healing and is in a better place overall, but the situation currently with my sister going through emotional and financial abuse, gaslighting and physical intimidation, with her ex-husband has I think brought up a lot for my aunt, and the result is that she's really trying to dictate the choices that my sister makes as she's going through this.
My aunt has been genuinely so supportive of my sister, but she's also been incredibly judgemental and critical. It's been a really challenging space for their relationship, and, by proxy, my relationship with my aunt, because she calls me (and my mum, who's her sister) up to try and influence my sister's decisions. We're in this current kinda stand-still over it because we're six weeks out from final trial in family court, and my ex-BIL has done something very threatening to my sister, and my aunt wants my sister to get an AVO. We tried to get my sister an AVO last year, and the police told her that until he put her in hospital, they wouldn't give her one. Now my aunt wants my sister to try again, and my sister's lawyers are saying no, because it looks like a play to the judge. They've been in family court for two years, and to try again this close to final trial may be legitimate but to a judge it'll read as a move that could influence her custody of her children.
My sister doesn't want to take that risk, her lawyers don't want to take that risk, and in my opinion, the worst result would be for her to try, have it on the record that she tried, get the same response she did last year that he hasn't put her in the hospital yet, and ergo get no AVO and a bad mark on her heading into court. On top of that - - AVOs don't do shit. They're a piece of paper that maybe bump you up a few spots in the queue when you call the police.
Anyway, my aunt's furious about this and it's become this huge thing where my aunt feels she knows better because she got an AVO, because she's been through this already, because none of us understand what she understands, and I'm like - - it's exhausting, and it's unfair. Their experiences are not the same by any stretch of the imagination, and I hate that a part of me keeps thinking that what happened to my aunt didn't end because of an AVO, it ended because he was a gambling addict and he was killed over an unpaid debt.
My aunt really is trying to do the right thing by my sister, and I love her for that, but there is this disconnect between survivor experiences that can cause an enormous amount of friction and complication, and I think we need to get better in general at acknowledging that.
#my aunt also wanted to wear white ribbons to court and my sister said no#like the judge is literally going to be watching us and the lawyers have warned us already that these things influence family court#like they've seen cases lost on a family member rolling their eyes and scoffing in the seats#and it looks manipulative#and my aunt genuinely can't wrap her head around that#my sister's told my mum she's got to big sister up and rip it off my aunt's chest if she tries it during the week we'll be in court lol#like it's sad it really is but it's also reality y'know?#but my aunt calls me and i'm like#my sister and i talk everything through and discuss outcomes but these are her choices to make right now#and i think she's doing amazing and i'm not going to try and influence her choices#especially when i think what you're suggesting is bad#anyway#fun times#i do lowkey feel like an expert in family court now though so i guess i kind of get that feeling of experience feeding a sense of expertise#which isn't actually real haha#because yeah being an expert at the moment in my sister's case is not the same thing as being an expert in court#by literally any stretch of the imagination#i do like joking to one of my best friend's who coincidentally is a family lawyer that we have the same job now#she hates the joke lmao but gets it at least#rl
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i don't know why im so obsessed with chisato lately, i just feel like she gets it (insane)
#i mean so does sayo tbh#this is maya's insane head canon corner but i feel like both of them probably feel like a lot of their desires are inherently bad you know#for different reasons of course#but in effect i really can't imagine chisato as someone who could like go on a date with a girl without like deeply examining herself#and trying to figure out how she's the monster you know#and sayo is like omg sayo has so much going on#she probably is like half i don't deserve anything and half i deserve everything#in a non sayohina scenario how do you think sayo would react to hina getting a girlfriend first because like#idk it would be crazy inside her mind especially if it's someone sayo likes right which i could totally see hina not realizing#and then herself feeling like absolutely garbage for hurting her sister again when she kind of didn't do anything wrong#ah this ran away from me idk#in a sayohina context things would also be insane but there are more qualified users out there to talk about it#im not really much of a sayohina shipper cause i think they should like be miserable forever and constantly step on eachothers toes#like metaphorically i mean
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Cluemaster: Hey, bro, I know I never call...
Kiteman: You did drunk call me that one time.
Cluemaster: I already said I was sorry for spreading around that you were in love with your kite and calling you to brag about it. As you said I was hella drunk and angry your weird ass podcast somehow now has the same level of fans as my old gameshow. Who the fuck cares that much about kites? Or C list vilany?
Kiteman: Did you just call to remind me why I hate you?
Cluemaster: Of course not, Chucky boy, your my favorite lil bro.
Kiteman: Arthur... I'm your only brother.
Cluemaster: Yeah? You're still my favorite.
Kiteman: Okay. Fine. What do you want?
Cluemaster: You're good with kids right?
Kiteman: Oh do you want me to babysit little Steph? I haven't see her since she was a baby! That'll be soo much fun!
Cluemaster: Oh, no, no. She is too old for a babysitter. I kindda called 'cause I need your advice.
Kiteman: Sure. Go on.
Cluemaster: How would you stop a prank war between your teen daugther and your bussiness partner that happens to be living at your house?
Kiteman: Woah. Define prank war?
Cluemaster: Like they just being annoying with each other... like non-stop Shrek music and painting one of her walls green?
Kiteman: Are you working with a child, Artie?
Cluemaster: No. Childrem are not really good at puzzle robberies.
Kiteman: So who the hell is in a prank war with your fourteen year old daugther? Is it that Polka Dot weirdo?
Cluemaster: ... Riddler.
Kiteman: Be honest, Arthur.
Cluemaster: I am!
Kiteman: Why the fuck would he work with you? Didn't he like was brought on to one of your trials and tried to sue you for being a copycat?
Cluemaster: No idea. I don't really remember all my trials.
Kiteman: Fair. Still isn't he like an actual treat? Like Batman actually tries to be always involved in his crimes instead of just sending a Robin or a cop kindda treat? Or hangs out with Cooblepot and Harley Quinn and fucking Catwoman and even Scarecrow and Joker kindda treat?
Cluemaster: Yes, so what?
Kiteman: He is waaay above your league. How the fuck do you got him to work with you?
Cluemaster: He is working for me because he recognizes my genius.
Kiteman: *sarcasm* Yeah, sure. At least it explains why I've been hearing that your plans don't totally suck anymore.
Cluemaster: Will you help me or not?
Kiteman: Anything for little Steph. But seriusly bro, the guy is a mentally instable killer, he is real Arkham loonie, A-lister and all this shit are you sure is safe to have him living with you? Specially if he and Stephanie are fighting!? She is just a kid! What if this prank war thing escalates and next thing she is in saw type death trap or something?
Cluemaster: Well than help me not to! I can't just kick him out, do you know how much I've been proffiting later?
Kiteman: And also he is an instable killer that used to hate you and wouldn't react well to being kicked out?
Cluemaster: Yeah, this too. Look I think you're overestimating the guy. He is smart and all and he can take a punch but I could take him out real easy in a one on one. He screamed like a little girl when he found a roach in the kitchem. I think I'll be fine.
Kiteman: Sure, you do you.... Maybe.... you could just.... help them find something they have in common? A TV show they like or something. It used yo work with us. They will bond over the thing and forget they hate each other for a bit.
Cluemaster: See was it that hard to help me?
*Chuck hangs up*
[Three months later]
Cluemaster: Chuck! I need help!
Kiteman: Can you call in another time? I'm bowlling with the guys, Calendar Man and Condiment King cannot win a second time, one weird rap about their love conquering all was ENOUGHT.
Cluemaster: Is about the whole prank war between Nygma and Stephanie thing.
Kiteman: Oh. So I guess my advice didn't work.
Cluemaster: No, no, it did. It worked way to well actually.
Kiteman: *worried* That sounds bad.
Cluemaster: Yeah... it happened that the thing they had in common was that they really hate me.
#this might be the start of a brown family au#because i have a lot of feelings about them#for me kiteman is actually a pretty chill down to earth guy besides the whole kite crimes thing#and instead of the tragic backstory were his kid died in the dumbest riddler plan ever#he just always wanted to have a family but he is too akward and has some nd coding and didn't had the chance yet#so he wants to bond with steph because she is his niece and all#but he and arthur don't have a good or stable relationship and he haven't been there for steph and she doesn't even know about him#so he is just afraid of talking to her#he and arthur started fighting because their parents divorced when they were 13/15 and they stayed with different parents#also while i preffer charlie a lot Cluemaster is a B Lister here while Kiteman is a C/D Lister#Kiteman is friends with all Gotham C-listers with the exception of Polka Dot Man because they just don't hang in the same places#they have some misinformation about each other and think the other is a freak but they would be pals if they meet#cluemaster hangs with b listers and non gothamite c listers#chuck actually got relieved after the last bit cause he imagine grooming or steph becaming a killer or smt real bad#he actually likes Riddler a bit after that because sibbling rivalry and because he is starting to realize Arthur is a shitty dad#Eddie did try to sue Arthur in Arthur's first trial#he was called to testimony why Arthur shouldn't go to Arkham and it was when he discovered that you can't copyright a criminal mo#it was also his first time on trial cause some rogues are considered unfit to stand trial and he is one of them#riddler#edward nygma#stephanie brown#arthur brown#cluemaster#kiteman#chuck brown#cheatday is @sillymanwithocs ship I'm just borowing it
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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Rimmer?
#i'm sorry i have a wall of notes about the rd/overboard mashup but i feel like this is enough for now#i can't stop myself if i start writing so here's her#i do imagine rimmer in this every time i see it because come on how could i not#red dwarf#arnold rimmer#i want him in this outfit it is so bad it's unheatly
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