#i feel more like a human again every day dude
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rofax · 1 year ago
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It has been exactly six months since my last day of chemo! 🎉🎉
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running-in-the-dark · 21 days ago
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my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.
anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.
#it's pretty annoying because my mother-in-law of course asked me how applying for jobs is going. I haven't applied for a single one yet#bc dude I can barely get through the day. I sleep for 12-16 hours a day. and I'm almost always in some kind of pain. and I'm not doing so#good mentally either. come on! I interacted with a handful of people in one day and had to sleep for like 6 hours.#anyway so I said it's a bit difficult because I'm constantly tired - it felt like the only thing she might kind of understand?#annnd she said its probably a vitamin D deficiency and I should get that tested (I won't because I'd have to pay for that and also I think I#read that taking vitamin D supplements doesn't actually help? I can't remember now and I don't want to look it up bc I know it definitely is#not the only or even main reason I am always tired.#I took vitamin D tablets for several months last year (?) bc my previous GP recommended it and. it did absolutely nothing at all#plus. like. I can't sleep. I sleep like shit. always. so. idk? that definitely doesn't help#and I sleep more when I'm in pain and all that too. so.#and she knows I have a bunch of health issues but. nope it's vitamin D because that's one thing and it's simple and here take a pill you're#fine now! wait why aren't you fine now? oh I guess you're just lazy 🙄#< that's 100% how that would go#ugh. Just let me sleep for 5-10 years. maybe that'd fix me....#like. I'm trying to get myself back (?) to being an actual human person again. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm trying to#live and not feel like I'm drowning every fucking day#finding a job is only gonna add more stress and exhaustion and everything. if I want to try to help myself this is the time to do it#okay rant over I'm going to sleep now#personal
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monstersflashlight · 5 months ago
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Commission for @itsafullmoon
A/N: thank you so much for commissioning again! It means the world. <3 This was so fun to write, everyone needs a friendly werewolf who takes care of you. I didn't include the bedroom part because i thought this would make more sense, hope y’all enjoy it!
Request: werewolf x fem!human Fem!reader is going through hard times and makes a habit of coming home from work to go cry in kitchen and continue upstairs to get ready for bed. She’s completely unaware that her neighbor has been closely watching her routine since she moved across the street 6 months ago, he desperately wants to know what’s wrong, hurt who ever is hurting her!…..decided, she’s the perfect mate! I would like it mentioned in story that fem!human has long black hair.
Maybe I’m a bit of a creep
Werewolf x fem!reader || oral sex, knotting || tw: stalker (lowkey)
After a long day at work, you arrive home like a soul in distress. You leave everything into a pile at the door and walk to the kitchen half zombie. Last couple weeks have been a complete nightmare and you just want to get home, drink some wine... and cry. So you are going to do exactly that.
You are a strong woman who can deal with all this shit and walk away after. But first: crying. Just a bit of crying and then you can keep going. You can do this. But your inner monologue it’s soon cut short by the first tear, followed by a thousand more. You stood there in the middle of your kitchen, face down as tears rolling down your face and falling to the floor. You don’t even care you will probably have to clean that later.
You stood there, crying and sipping on some wine like every other day of the past days. You want to be stronger than that, but you just… Can’t. Life is a mess and sometimes crying is the only way to make you feel a tiny fraction better. But apparently not even that can you do in peace.
There’s a knock on your back door. You look up at the clock and get a bit wary, grabbing your phone in case you need to speed dial the cops or something. “Yes?” You don’t dare opening without asking first.
“I’m your neighbor, can I borrow some salt?” His deep and grumpy voice… Your hot neighbor, the werewolf next door. Fuck.
You knock your head against the door and breathe deeply before answering. You frantically wipe the tears away. “I- sure.” You try to get yourself together as fast as possible, you probably look like a mess and he’s going to see you in all your misfortune. There they go all your opportunities to hit on him at some point. Fuck. Your luck is just the worst.
You open the door a bit and try to back down to get the salt, but before you can do that, he’s asking: “Why are you crying?”
You try to be as subtle as possible as you try to wipe away a couple more tears that escaped your traitorous eyes. It doesn’t work. “What? I’m not.” It sounds fake even to your own ears, but you stay put, maybe you can gaslight him slightly to make him feel you are telling the truth.
That thought makes you feel like a shithead, but dang, you want to maintain some kind of dignity in this stupid situation. Why had to be him? Couldn’t it be any other neighbor that is not hot as hell and you didn’t want to bang since the first day he moved in next door? Ugh. Your luck is truly terrible.
He takes a deep breath and approaches you. “You cry every night. I’ve seen you.” He wipes away some of your tears with his clawed, furry paw, and it takes you two more seconds to register what he just said.
You look at him like he’s crazy, because he truly is. Has he been spying on you? Is he a creep? “What? How? Dude are you a creep? I’m going to call the cops.” You pull your phone from your pocket ready to do just that.
But he stops you “No! No, don’t do that. I’m-” He stops mid sentence, thinking about it, and ends up saying: “well, maybe I’m a bit of a creep.” You want to cry and laugh at the same time, what is this situation? Is he really accepting being a creep? What the actual fuck. “It’s just that your kitchen window is right across my living room window and you cry here every night.” You look across your kitchen and true to his word, his living room is right across your kitchen window. Fuck.
Can you be more lame? He’s been enjoying his dinner every night just to have you crying across the lawn like a pathetic woman. Lasts pieces of your self-respect feel like running away at that moment. Fuck. Your luck is truly and completely fucked up.
But to your surprise, and probably his, too, his next words make you both speechless: “Let me make you feel better.” You stare at him, mouth agape and your brain running so fast you can’t even process what he just said. What the fuck does he mean by that?
“What?” You ask, finally, when your brain gains some kind of control back over your body. He stares at you, his ears twitching in the most werewolf way possible. You wonder if he can hear the rapid beat of your heart.
“Let. Me. Make. You. Feel. Better.” He enunciates each word as if you were stupid, and at that moment, you feel pretty stupid. He’s so fucking handsome you can’t control your own brain around him, or your reactions, or how fucking done with everything you are because you want to say yes to his innuendo so bad.
You try not to feel the anticipation about it, but you can feel your pussy getting excited about it. “How are you going to do that?” You ask, you want to believe it’s an innuendo, but with your luck lately, you can’t ignore that it might be just a stupid idea, and he’s just talking about making you soup or something.
He looks at you and smells the air, sniffing you. You don’t know what you smell like, but he smirks and says: “I’m going to bend you down over the table and I’m going to eat you out. And then… I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be thinking about your problems anymore.” You feel your heartbeat accelerate even more, your pussy getting instantly wetter. Fuck.
“I-” You hesitate, even though your pussy is screaming at you to stop being stupid and take this opportunity, bet some werewolf dick would make you feel incredible.
He looks at you, his face impossibly tender. “Say yes.” His whisper is so soft and filled with emotion that you feel like crying again, but this time for very different reasons.
“Yes,” you whisper back, feeling shy all of sudden.
“Thank the goddess for that.” He drives right in, framing your face with his paws and kissing you until your brain is spinning. You break apart just for him to tear your clothes off your body, making you giggle at his eagerness. He manhandles you until you are face down on the table, bent down, and he’s kneeling behind you, his face right over your pussy. That’s hot. “Bon appétit.” You are about to laugh at the absurdity of the moment and his words when you feel the first touch of his tongue against your pussy. God.
He gives you no heads up, he starts devouring your pussy like he’s a starved man and you are the last source of food in the whole world. He licks and kisses, and makes out with your cunt. Meanwhile, you don’t know what to do with your hands, grabbing and pulling at your hair. You groan and cry out and feel like the universe is behind your eyes as he keeps eating you out desperately.
The orgasm catches you by surprise, arching your back and pushing your hips against his face as he grunts his approval. You grind your pussy back into his face as he makes the most erotic sounds of pleasure against your sensitive areas. When you come down from the high, he’s right there to catch you, his whole body covering your back as you feel the tip of his erection against your entrance.
“Say yes,” he repeats.
“Yes.” This time is not shy or embarrassed, you are completely on board with it, you want to be fucked until you are a mess of heat and juices.
He grunts at your agreement and starts pushing in. You thought he would be wild and savage, entering you in one hard thrust like all those romance books you love. But he doesn’t, he whispers sweet nothings to your ear, telling you how pretty you are, how he was wishing to ask you out since he moved in but didn’t find the courage. He tells you about how perfect you are, how good of a mate you’d make for him. And you preen at his compliments, your insides getting warm and your heart accelerating to the point of worry.
But he keeps going, his dick so far inside you can feel him against the back of your throat. Fuck. “Is it fully inside?” You ask after he’s been still for a long moment.
“Not yet, just a bit more. Breathe slow for me, let me in.” You do exactly that and groan loud and deep when you feel the last of him enter you. Good goddess he’s so deep.
“You are… so deep.” You let out, your breath caught in your throat. He stays put, not even moving a millimeter, and still whispering sweet nothings against your ear. Bit by bit you relax, and when the feeling inside of you is no longer overwhelming you groan out: “Move.” He waits no longer. He pulls back as much as he can and drives right in, a slow tempo that is driving you insane. “Faster. Harder,” you order, your brain already lost in pleasure. His dick is so big that he hits every single pleasure point at once.
“Are you sure?” He sounds uncertain and that makes you like him even more.
“Yes!” You cry out as he complies, pulling out and back in fast and hard. You groan and moan and a chorus of ah ah ah joins the slap of skin against skin.
He keeps fucking you, the symphony of ecstasy getting louder and louder, but he keeps talking, “your fucking black hair drives me insane.” He tells you, pulling at your hair hard and making you moan.
“What? Why?” His non-stopping pounding is driving you insane, there’s no way you can focus enough to understand what he’s saying.
“I think about it constantly, what would you look with your hair tied back and on your knees? What would you look when I grab it and ride you? It drives me crazy, and now every time I see you in a ponytail I get a boner.” You giggle at his confession, but another hard thrust against your G-spot makes your eyes roll back. He keeps talking, “and you wear too many fucking ponytails.” He punctuates every word with a thrust that have you seeing the whole galaxy. His big balls are bouncing on your clit and you feel so close to the edge you think you are going to break into a million pieces.
He fucks two more orgasms out of you, your body lax and fucked out under him. You don’t know if you could continue, but you have no strength to tell him anything about it. And it feels so good… Over-sensitivity making each thrust a new experience.
But when you think it’s close to ending, he asks, “are you ready to take my knot, mate?” You are startled at his words, but at that moment you wouldn’t care even if a burglar broke in. You need him like you need air, you want to come around his fat knot next.
“Yes!” You scream, a little part of your brain worrying someone could hear how loud you two are being, but not really caring.
His dick starts to expand inside of you, so big you cry out and thrash under him. He holds you down with his own body as he pushes inside fully. When his knot is fully settled, he starts to grind his hips against your ass, and you see starts, another orgasm being ripped off you. He groans when your pussy clenches around him, and you feel the first shoot of his cum deep inside. So much of it. He cums for what feels like hours.
He pulls out and you feel a gush of fluids dripping down your legs onto the floor. Gross. But fast as lightning, he’s there with a warm cloth, cleaning you out and telling you how pretty you look all fucked out. You don’t move from your position, unable to, your legs feel like jelly.
A bit later, when you are on the sofa, your head on his chest and your ass on his lap, you ask him, “Did you mean it?”
He looks at you puzzled, confused like a puppy. “What?”
You breathe hard, trying not to overthink too much what you are about to say: “You called me your mate.”
He stops, his face blank as he looks at you, deep in thought. But he doesn’t make you wait long. “I- Yes. I mean it.” You feel your heart expand, like it’s being overfilled with joy and anticipation.
“Would you go out with me?” You finally ask, feeling your face blush as you hide it in his neck, softly biting the tendon there, making him moan.
He grabs your face in his big hands and makes you look at him. “I’d thought you’d never ask,” he says, a big feral grin showing all his teeth. You blush harder when he kisses you deeply.
Well, at least crying got you somewhere… To the lap of a hot werewolf.
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cosmogyros · 1 month ago
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Getting a little tired of people who move to Germany from abroad and then complain about the "rude customer service"... when it's literally just neutral customer service.
Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of rude customer service here too - but I'm talking about someone in a café who doesn't smile at you, or answers only the question you asked without volunteering more information. That's just... normal, my dudes. That's neutrality.
And the fact that people working in customer service in this country can be neutral - can be real human beings who don't necessarily feel like beaming and fawning all day every day - without having to fear losing their job for it... I think that's pretty great. And that's a big part of the reason I moved here, and the reason I feel more comfortable in this society than in the US.
I studied Germany for years before making the big decision to move here (I literally majored in German Studies in the US), and I visited this country multiple times, for increasing amounts of time, before making the big move. I knew (to a degree) what I was getting myself into, and therefore I've never regretted it.
But I meet multiple people every year - newcomers to Berlin whom I already know won't last - who decided to move here spontaneously, based on very little knowledge of the country or culture (let alone the language). And then they get so shocked and disappointed by Germany being... German... that they soon leave again. WHYYYYYYY
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loulovingho · 1 month ago
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Part 2 of my injured Tommy fic.
Tommy watched the clock with distain in his eyes. Every second that ticked by felt like it was mocking him.
Just another second since he left you. Another second since you drove him away. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He hated that stupid clock.
He also hated that his and Evan's bed was in the living room, and their hallway was covered in plastic sheets for the remodel, and that all their cabinets and countertops had to be lowered, and that he still had to have help when he took a shower or took a shi-
“Knock knock!” Eddie's voice interrupted Tommy's thoughts. Probably a good thing, he figured. He was very close to throwing his stress ball directly at the clock and, hopefully, shattering it to pieces.
“In here,” Tommy said, rolling his eyes afterward. Because of course that's where he was. He was never not in the living room these days.
“I brought new movies and...” his voice drifted as soon as he got a good look at Tommy. “What's wrong?”
Tommy sighed. “Please. It's not like Evan didn't send you.”
“Buck didn't send me. Why would Buck be sending me?”
“Because we fought.”
“Really?” Eddie asked, and if he was faking surprise, he was doing a really good job. “What about?”
“He's...” Tommy huffed. “He's trying to help me all the time and there's some things I wanna do on my own. Too much hovering.”
“S'normal,” Eddie replied. He headed over to the couch to sit.
Tommy turned in the chair to get himself into position to transfer. “Can you pull my arm up a little so I can get on the couch?”
Eddie leaned back, staring at Tommy. “You got it.”
“I don't really ever do transfers by myself, Eddie.”
“Good time to start. Come on,” he patted the couch, “this is way more comfy than the chair.”
“Eddie, I-” he gripped onto the armrests just enough to make himself squirm. “I'm really tired and I'd rather you just help me.”
“Mm. No.”
“No?” Tommy questioned.
Eddie nodded. “Consider it tough love. I know you're not tired, Man. You've got a look on your face that says you're ready for about four or five rounds of Muay Thai. Use up some of that energy to get yourself on the damn couch.”
Tommy wanted to scream. Forget the clock, he wanted to throw the stress ball right at Eddie's head.
He squeezed it harder instead, his nails digging into the ball. “Can you at least not look at me while I do it?” he asked, teeth gritted together.
“What's that matter? I've helped you shower.”
He glared up at Eddie, his cheeks turning red. “You're really pissing me off, Man.”
“I can see that.”
“Can't you leave me the hell alone?!” Tommy yelled. “Go screw up your own life again or something!”
Eddie didn't waver. Face didn't falter for a second. “The great part about us being friends,” he said, leaning toward Tommy ever so slightly, “is that you can't hurt my feelings the same way you can hurt Buck's. You can either stay a grump in that uncomfortable chair, or be a grump on this very comfy couch.”
Tommy huffed and puffed and was fairly sure if humans could breathe fire than there would definitely be some coming out of his nose. He angrily pulled the brakes on his chair, then used all the upper body strength he had to push himself up and onto the couch. It took awhile. A lot longer than he'd like to admit, actually, but eventually he was seated on the couch. He tugged on his sweatpants, straightening out his legs until his feet were flat against the floor. Then he leaned forward and released one of the brakes so he could swivel the chair off to the side.
“Hell yeah!” Eddie cheered, reaching over to smack his hand against Tommy's shoulder.
Tommy would've liked to still be angry with him, but he was too busy gasping for breath. He was also actually a little proud of himself too. “Sorry,” he muttered once he was able to speak again. “I didn't mean what I said. I'm just being an ass today.”
“No problem, Dude. So, why don't you tell me the real reason you fought with Buck?”
“I already did.”
“Please, that was total bull and we both know it. You fought because Buck's trying to help and you don't want it, yet you wanted me to help you? Plus, Buck's been hovering for two months now and you've never said a word even though you can do half this stuff by yourself. Transferring was one of the first things they taught you in the hospital. Real reason.” Eddie snapped his fingers near Tommy's face. “Go.”
“It's stupid.”
“Of course it is. Tell me anyway.”
Tommy ran his hand over his forehead, wiping away the thin layer of sweat that had settled there. “I...” his voice trailed off as he thought about how to say what he'd been thinking. “I feel like he's settling for me now.”
“Buck?” Eddie questioned. “You feel like he's settling?”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay, so dumber than I thought.”
“Eddie.”
“I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Why would you ever think that?”
“Eddie, the guy he fell in love with was a firefighter pilot. Someone who flew through hurricanes and landed helicopters on capsized cruise ships. Not... this,” he said, motioning down at his lower half. “I don't even know what this is anymore.”
“Hm.” Eddie nodded his head, thinking for a moment before responding. “Gotta say, if that's how you feel about Buck, then I'm not sure you know him at all.”
Tommy ran a hand over his eyes, trying to stop them from burning. “That's the stupid part, Eddie, I don't feel that way about Buck. I feel that way about me. I know how irrational it is and I know he still loves me, but there's this voice in the back of my mind that always starts running its mouth.”
Eddie huffed out a laugh. “I've got one of those too. Sounds like my mother.”
“I think mine's my dad. And me a little bit too.”
“What's the voice say?”
“A lot of things. Mostly, it makes me feel useless. I've always had a plan, Eddie, ever since I was a kid. There was school, and football, and knowing that the second I was old enough I'd do whatever I had to do to get out of my dad's house. Then I had the army, and flying, and after that I went right into being a firefighter. I did that for so long before transferring to Harbor and flying again, but I always had a plan. I was always somebody. I was something. Now I...” he sighed. “I don't know who or what I am. I don't know what to do with my life. And Evan didn't fall in love with that guy. He fell in love with cool, confident Tommy. Which makes me feel like he's settling now, because he could be doing anything.”
His eyes burned. He kept wiping at them, trying to catch each tear before they could fall. “He should be doing anything,” he said, lip trembling. “He's young, and smart, and so damn handsome. He should be living his life, Eddie, not working part time so he can be home with me.” He gave up on the tears, sniffling as they started to fall. “He spends every waking moment either working or taking care of me, and it's not fair to him. It's not.”
Eddie waited. Waited until Tommy's breathing returned to normal and the tears calmed before hitting him with a, “You know you're never gonna walk again, right?”
Tommy looked like all the air had been sucked out of the room. His eyes widened comically as he stared at Eddie, shocked. “I- I'm aware. Thanks?”
Eddie shrugged. “I'm just saying, this all happened like two months ago. That's it. Two months, Tommy. You don't have to have everything figured out yet. Hell, you've got a lot more figured out right now than I do at any given moment.”
“Doesn't feel that way. Feels like everything's a mess, and I'm a burden. We're having to use all my savings for the renovations, and Buck's taking care of all the bills while only working part time, and paying Carla to take care of me when he's working. Then he's coming home to do PT with me and cook for me and help me use the damn bathroom.” His voice cracked again at the last admission, but he cleared his throat and continued. “God, Eddie, he was so upset but he still asked if I needed to use the bathroom before he left.”
“So that's what it was all really about then?” Eddie asked. “You were just trying to push him away?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I think so. And I know this part isn't forever. I'll figure out the cooking once the kitchen is done, I'll learn new ways to exercise, we'll have an actual bedroom again, I'll be able to transfer to the toilet and into the shower. It's not that I mind the help, because you're right, I love the fact he takes care of me. I just hate that he has to. I don't want to hold him back. Don't want him to have regrets.”
“Man, your brain really is working overtime,” Eddie said, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “It's wrong, by the way, your brain I mean. Buck's obsessed with you still. Like, obnoxiously so. He's always looking at the clock, waiting to get home to you. He tries out PT exercises on us, researches meals that'll give you enough protein to keep up your upper body strength. Won't shut up about you on calls.” He laughed when he saw a smile playing on Tommy's face. “Seriously, last week we had this woman on a stretcher who happened to have a husband named Tommy, and Buck just lights up. Starts going on and on about how he has a fiancé named Tommy who has taught him all about monster trucks, and shown him all these movies, and is the coolest, and sweetest, and hottest, man he's ever met. No joke, Tommy, the woman asked if we could give her a sedative so she wouldn't have to listen anymore.”
Tommy laughed at that, some of the stress visibly leaving his body. “If you ask Carla, she'd say the same thing,” he admitted. “Evan's all I talk about, all day long. I know it has to drive her nuts.”
“You two love birds are meant for each other, whether your dad in your head likes it or not. And if you really think Buck's gonna leave you because of one stupid fight... you're dumber than I thought.”
“He's right.” The sound of Buck's voice made both Eddie and Tommy turn toward the living room entryway. “I mean, not about the dumb part. But, thinking I'll leave you.”
“I- I didn't hear you get home,” Tommy said nervously. He eyed Buck up and down, like he was expecting him to have physically changed in the last two hours.
“I was quiet, I guess.” He glanced at the wheelchair, then at Tommy on the couch. “You transferred.” It wasn't a question.
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, I did. Took a hot minute, but I did it.”
“Did Eddie harass you into it?”
Tommy smiled softly. “It's a very effective method, apparently.”
“I'll have to stick around next time,” Buck replied, smiling back, “and take notes.”
Eddie's eyes shifted between the two of them, noticing that they couldn't seem to stop staring at each other.
“I think my work here is done,” he said, getting up and giving Tommy a pat on the leg. “See ya, Man.”
Tommy cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. Bye, Eddie.”
He squeezed Buck's shoulder as he passed by. “See you tomorrow.”
Buck smiled at him. “See ya.”
They stayed silent until the door shut, leaving the two of them alone.
“I'm so sorry I snapped at you.” Tommy inwardly cursed at the fact he couldn't seem to stop himself from getting emotional anymore.
“I'm sorry I hovered.”
“That's not... Evan, that's not why I really got upset.”
“Yeah, I figured. I've been here for a while, actually, I just... I haven't heard you open up like that since the accident.”
“Can you come here?” Tommy asked, patting his lap. As Buck walked over, Tommy held out his hand. Buck took it as he sat beside him on the couch, gently resting his legs over Tommy's. “I don't want you thinking I'm not thankful for everything you've done. I am endlessly grateful, Evan.”
“I don't want you thinking you're not enough for me.” Tommy looked down as Buck spoke, until Buck hooked two fingers under Tommy's chin and tilted his head up so their eyes met. “My love for you has never been based on your job, or what you're capable of. I love you. I love your personality, and your smile, and how you care about people, and how you always seem to know when I'm not okay, and how you listen. All of it. You still have everything that makes you you, Tommy. Everything I love is still right here,” he said, placing a hand over Tommy's heart.
Tommy reached up and placed his hand over Buck's. “We were supposed to get married today,” he said, his lip trembling.
Buck nodded, tears in his eyes. “I know.”
“Would you... Would you still want to?”
Buck froze. “Are- Are you serious?”
Tommy nodded. “I still want a real wedding, sometime soon. But, I really just wanna be married to you.”
“Eddie probably hasn't gotten too far yet,” Buck said, practically jumping up to pull his phone out of his pocket. “He could come back; be our witness?”
“Good idea. I'll get back in my chair so I'm ready when he gets here.”
“Need any help?” Buck asked, phone to his ear as he waited for Eddie to pick up.
“That's okay,” Tommy answered with a smile. “I got it.”
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xlatrina · 7 days ago
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(Pt. III) Friends to Lovers HCs w/Homicipher x GN!Reader
Tags: Platonic + Romantic HCs, Friends to Lovers trope for basically every LI, Likely OOC for some LIs*, Mini Scenarios (so HCs are kinda plot-driven), *Multi-Part Series, entirely SFW
Also, changing tenses in some cases + not proofread again... sorry!
*Some of the LIs are likely written OOC (Out Of Character) mainly due to a lack of substantial in-game appearances (at least in my opinion!). 
*Split into multiple parts because I’ve come to realize that these HCs are muuucccchhh too long 😅 BUT!! I’m too lazy to shorten them sooo… YEAH lol
Part I (Big 🙆‍♂️)
Part II (Mr. Chopped 🪓)
Part III (Mr. Crawling 👣)
$$$
Mr. Crawling
This man is in love with you.
Lowkey could stop right there.
Well, anyway…
Mr. Crawling is a GREAT friend, actually.
Like he’s the kind of buddy that’s —first of all —down for whatever.
You said you tryna go walk through an unfamiliar part of the Apartments to try and find a mysterious elevator?
Well…
YEAH SURE HE’LL TAG ALONG
I MEAN… WHY THE HELL NOT, Y’KNOW??
“Me know place here,” He’ll say. More or less: I know this place!
And he’s so damn chipper about it, too!
He’s just an overall helpful guy.
He seems to have an intrinsic protective streak in him, too.
Which is interesting, ‘cause it’s like…
While it’s obvious he’s been in the Apartments for a long time, it’s clear that he hasn’t completely lost his sense of humanity.
I mean, trust —it’s definitely worn in some ways.
Like, he eats people bruh.
Trust, his sense of humanity is def gone in some ways...
But!! At least he's not as violent as the other ghosts can be!!
Like, generally speaking, you’ll find that he’s a pretty admirable dude.
He doesn’t hurt other entities for the pure sake of hurting them.
Defense, and alternatively —for food or other resources like clothes or tools.
Those would probably be the only reasons Mr. Crawling would ever just… attack someone, especially unprovoked (unprovoked, but not necessarily without reason).
That being said, he’s a social butterfly!!
He’s literally a professional yapper in every sense of the word.
Like… he could start a podcast LMAO
Podcast Bro!Mr. Crawling…
Anywho, he’s genuinely a people person and he likes being in good company.
Whether it’s you, Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped, Mr. Stitch(?), the Nurse, Mr. Wheelchair, the Hairdresser, etc…
He’s genuinely the type who could talk to literally anyone about anything for any amount of time.
If you’re a yapper too, this’ll probably be fun for you!
And hell, you may very well have met your match, LOL.
If you’re more introverted or quiet —no matter.
Mr. Crawling, being the professional he is, knows how to fill up any awkward silences with banter.
He doesn’t judge you at all on the basis of how you react to his yapping. Truly.
At the end of the day, he just enjoys sharing your company and getting to hear your voice, as little or as often as that occurs.
Hopefully, you don’t find his constant need for company annoying.
… Do you find him annoying?
At some point, Mr. Crawling begins to realize his feelings for you have changed…
In the case you accept him as a partner, he’s absolutely OVERJOYED.
Not only have you promised to indefinitely keep his company, but you also accepted him as your better half!
“You enjoy me?” He’ll ask, pulling himself over your curled-up form beneath the thin white sheets of the hospital bed.
“Me enjoy you,” you’ll say. You might even pet his head a few times, and he’ll giggle maniacally before dropping his head into your neck.
As Mr. Crawling’s fondness for you intensifies, so does his protective streak.
This guy turns into Papa Bear when it comes down to protecting his better half.
What Megan thee Stallion said??
“Three things I don’t play about: myself, my money, or my man!”
That, but more like: “... my friends, or my partner!”
Something like that, LOL.
Mr. Crawling’s sweethearted, bubbly, outgoing, protective, and quite affectionate. Intimacy is a language he speaks as fluently as his otherworldly one.
As we know, he’s very much the “high-maintenance” type.
He’s just super affectionate overall —and Mr. Crawling just wants to know that you’re always on the same page!
Tell him you love him. 
Tell him how fun it was exploring the same old dreary halls with him. Tell him how relieved you felt when he swooped in to shield you from danger, even though you could handle yourself just fine. Run your fingers through his hair and massage the nape of his neck as you tell him how much you’ve come to enjoy —and maybe even crave —his company.
And when you’re done…
Tell him you love him. Yes, again. Again and again and again and again and again…
He could never get enough. Truly.
He could never get enough of you.
With a boyfriend like Mr. Crawling, you’ll never have to fear a lack of comfort, protection, friendship, or intimacy…
Because he’s constantly giving it to you. 
You don’t even need to ask for any kind of intimacy —again, he’s giving it to you anyway.
And whether you’d like to shack up in a nearby spare room beside Mr. Silvair and Mr. Chopped’s loungeroom (of the sort) or if you take him with you to the surface world…
It makes no real difference in the way Mr. Crawling clings to you.
All he knows is so long as you’re both finding yourselves tangled together beneath the sheets each night, all is right in the world!
Mr. Crawling just wants to spend his evenings at home, and if home is where the heart is, then…
Well, you know how that goes!
[Part I (Mr. Big 🙆‍♂️) | Part II (Mr. Chopped 🪓, First Half/Second Half), Part III (Mr. Crawling 👣)]
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etfrin · 1 year ago
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↳ ❝Headcanons (bf! edition) | Mike Schmidt | SFW❞ˎˊ-
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[after the events of the movie] | masterlist | request |
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Mike Schmidt x GN! Reader
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dating this chronic exhausted security dude would include:
Late Night Dates on the nights when he just couldn't sleep or he wakes up earlier than usual
He cooks you and Abby breakfast every morning despite it being something simple such as cereals [sometimes you wake up early to make something a bit more fancier than toast and bacon and he loves you so much for it]
Abby would keep telling Mike to marry you before you realize that he's a loser [Mike has the same fears but he would never tell you that]
On the days he's more sleep deprived than usual, he would constantly snap at you
He's good at groveling, gives you flowers as a sorry, would give you space, would cook for you (and fail)
A cuddler, he loves to have you in his arms as he sleeps. The feel of your body, your arms around him (he is a switch) ans his arms around you
The nights he cuddles you are the nights that are dreamless and perfect for him
You guys do breakup once
It takes months of self improvement before Mike even thinks of asking you out again
He is so much better than before, not just for you or Abby but for himself
He starts doing jobs that wouldn't need much interaction with human beings (my ideal job)
You move in with him after a few months of getting back together
He would be much more less snappish than before
Now whenever he gets mad, he calmly tells you he needs some space
Eventually both of you work out all the ticks that make the relationship work
Both of you spend the weekends watching movies with Abby (i feel like Abby would love horror movies)
Lunch dates with Mike while Abby is in school
Mike is into praise so whenever you compliment him on something, he literally brightens up so much
Has the prettiest smile and the cutest laugh (i don't make the rules, it is what it is)
Finally talks to you about his trauma, you cry when you hear everything he went through
You get so overprotective of him after that, praising him, helping him with Abby and everything
Starts having dreams of marrying you and eventually proposes (Abby tells you about the ring beforehand)
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A/N : gonna write more about him! promise <3
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newkatzkafe2023 · 1 month ago
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Any chance of the monkey gang with a reader who is an angel, but not a human-like angel with wings and a halo over their head, but rather an angel according to the Bible who tends to hide their appearance because it is disturbing or terrifying for those who would see them in that form.
Ohhhhhhhhhh I kinda know what you mean and that's kinda SPOOKY so here I go😧
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(Lmk Wukong) He Admittedly held back a scream, because after months of dating be always wondered what your angel form looks like since you told him about. At first he thought of those little cute angels with the halo and wings like the commercials, not this.......... He's trying to think of a nicer way of saying monstrosity😨😨😨😨. Wukong goes to say that it's absolutely unexpected not unwelcome because your true form is an extension of you, And he loves all of you just like how you love all of him. To help with your confidence he removes his glamour whenever you use your angel form🥰🥰🥰
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(NR Wukong) Ok I feel like this dude has seen worse, so what if your form could Definitely give him some horrific Nightmares for centuries to come he always reminds himself that it's you at the end but who care about that. Wukong is very calm for once and totally understood why you kelp the other form under wraps but he loves you always. He also shouldn't be judging Considering he's the one walking around with a mask😒😒😒😒
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(MKR Wukong) Oh god, that is disturbing. Luckily, he is not dumb enough to say that out loud😧. Despite your true Accurate angel form, it is very difficult to look at directly but at the end of the day it's you he's looking at and he loves and accepts you at the end. On a brighter note, now he has even more ammunition to scare the crap out of sandy and pigsy😈😈😈
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(HIB Wukong) Looks a few shades paler than earlier, that's for sure, he Definitely understands why you hide it very often if not all the time. It's not that he hates your form. It's just now that he has to see that every time he closes his eyes or blinks at the matter and you both agreed that Luier and Silly girl can never see this, at least until their adults.
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(Netflix Wukong) YO HE SCREAMED LIKE, SCREAMED IN TERROR and he feels so bad about it😣. I mean he had never seen something like that before and he hoped he wouldn't have to ever again, he keeps this thoughts in his head as he ran and apologized to you lying and saying he was just surprised as all hoping that would spare your feelings Your other form is gonna take some time to get used too but he loves you the same.
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(BMW Wukong) He thinks your angel form is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his immortal life..............mainly because he's f*cked up in his head😆 How could you hide this kind of thing from him all this time. Now that he knows about this He fell even harder than before, And you weren't sure if that was even possible, he calls you a true angel of the heavens and he is blessed to see you in all your angelic glory 😇
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(Destined one) Considering who he had to fight during his journey he's seen uglier things. Not to say that your true form is ugly oh no your angel form is pretty and Unique to him, It's just the monsters and gods he fought kind Of desensitized him, so your form is not that effective in the disturbing department. If anything it would look amazing in the warzone🤩🤩🤩
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FEEL FREE TO REBLOG😇
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chvoswxtch · 1 year ago
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lucky
pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader
summary: matt finally gets to take out the girl that's been leaving care packages at his door for two months.
warnings: swearing, slight angst, tooth rotting fluff (might need to call your dentist after this one)
word count: 3k
a/n: the highly requested fluffy sequel to care packages. thank you to everyone that requested this. i hope you enjoy your first date with matty. ❤️ as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!
[part one]
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“I hate you, you know that?”
Matt nearly spit out his coffee as he lurched over the conference table slightly, forcing the lukewarm bitter taste down his throat as a wave of incredulous laughter tore through his chest.
“What? Why?”
“Because it isn’t fair. It’s bad enough you’re so goddamn charming, and it’s borderline offensive that you’re like the most attractive dude I’ve ever seen. Not to mention that whole wounded duck routine you’ve got going on that makes all the girls fall at your feet-”
“Foggy, I don’t-”
“-but what’s exceptionally unacceptable is that you somehow managed to find a girl that knows about the horns, and not only didn’t run away, but still agreed to go out with you. Like the fact that you’re a vigilante and a walking human disaster totally didn’t phase her at all. That’s…like…against the rules!”
Matt couldn’t help but snicker at the disgruntled tone lacing his best friend’s exasperated voice, and the way the edges of Foggy’s mouth dipped in displeasure. 
“What rules, Foggy?”
“The rules of the universe, Matt. You’ve had too much good fortune-
“Right, like being blinded and orphaned-”
“Oh, shut the hell up. I’m talking about-”
“Guys, please. If you two keep bickering, Matt’s gonna be late. He’s lucky she’s even going out with him at all. Can we finish this?”
Karen glanced between Matt and Foggy with an arch of her brow, trying to hide the smirk that threatened to capture her lips as Matt’s teasing grin faltered into a purse of his lips from that bruise to his ego.
“Wow. Thank you…for that vote of confidence, Karen.”
“It’s true and you know it. Now, both of you sign these damn papers so we can get out of here before she changes her mind.”
Foggy’s expression suddenly turned serious as he focused his attention solely on Matt, staring at him with an accusatory finger pointed in his direction.
“I swear to God, Murdock. If you fuck up my pipeline to those crack cookies, I will never forgive you. You better turn that Matthew Murdock charm up to a million, you got me? I want those cookies, Matt. Cookies.”
»»———  ———««
It had been five days since Matt had asked you to dinner, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you. Between the slew of court cases he was elbow deep in and the extra patrol he’d been doing at the docks to bust a trafficking ring, he hadn’t had a chance to talk to you again. He couldn’t feel your presence when he awoke past his alarm in the mornings, and when he finally got home at the Devil’s hour, he could hear you below him sleeping soundly in your bed.
For the past five nights, the harmony of your heart’s rhythm had eased him into a peaceful sleep like a serene lullaby.
But Karen’s words had anxiety filling every single cell in his body as he navigated the bustling streets of Hell’s Kitchen. 
What if you had changed your mind?
It had been five days. Five days without getting to speak to you again. Five days without another care package. 
That wasn’t unusual, right?
You didn’t follow a strict schedule with them. The drop offs were usually every few weeks. It just wasn’t time for one.
Or maybe you didn’t want to deliver any more of them.
Maybe the reality of who and what he was sank in and gave you cold feet.
Maybe this was over before it began.
“Fuck.”
Matt felt like he was losing his mind playing the role of the plaintiff and the defendant in the case of had he royally fucked this up already. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this nervous to go on a date. Maybe it was because you were the first person he was going on a date with as himself. Not one half concealing the other. Not with a pre-spun web of lies to cover his tracks. Not with a rehearsal to remember to play down his abilities. 
All his cards were out on the table, and while he felt an absolute rush of liberation that you knew the truth already, the consequences of that truth were daunting and seemed to be lurking around every corner of his mind. By the time he reached his door, his clammy hands kept slipping over his key, and sweat had started to bead uneasily along his hairline.
Should he call this whole thing off?
He really didn’t want to. 
Did you want him to call it off?
He prayed you didn’t.
Had you been thinking about him for the past five days too?
He really hoped so.
»»———  ———««
When Matt finally made it to your door, he was nearly out of breath and his cheeks were flushed with heat. He had changed three times because you had, and he didn’t want to be over or underdressed. He focused his senses intently on you, trying to decipher the materials and textures of the outfit you finally settled on. You had music playing as you got ready, and for a few moments Matt just paused and listened to you hum along. You seemed to be in a good mood, and that eased his nerves considerably.
Was it wrong for him to invade on your privacy like that? The angel on his shoulder was already adding it to the laundry list for his confession on Sunday. But the Devil in him argued that he was going to hear you anyway. It wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help what his senses picked up.
Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to meet you at your door, Matt panicked and realized he hadn’t got you any flowers, and promptly ran down the street in search of a vendor. He spent eight minutes trying to pick some out. He didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked, and roses felt too cliche and insincere. He wanted to pick something special, something that showed he put thought into them, even if he had run to get them right before he was supposed to pick you up.
The vendor had talked him into a bouquet of violet peonies, and since he didn’t have time to spare, he raced back praying that this was the one flower you didn’t hate or God forbid were allergic to.
Matt took a moment to gather himself outside your door; wiping the sweat from his brows with the back of his hand, attempting to steady his rapid breathing, smoothing his windblown hair back into place, and reciting a quiet Lord’s Prayer for good measure.
When his knuckles finally collided with your door to knock, he didn’t know if his heart was racing from the marathon he had just run, or because of you. 
The light patter of your feet eagerly approaching the door caused a smile to grace his lips, and once he tuned out the sound of his own heart raging in his ears, he could hear yours fluttering in your chest like a hummingbird.
You were nervous too.
There was a bright smile on your lips, and a light twinge of embarrassment from how quickly you had flung your door open, and you let out a quiet laugh at your own expense.
“Hi Matthew.”
God, he had forgotten how melodic your voice sounded, and how much he suddenly loved his own name hearing it fall from your lips.
“Just Matt, is okay. Only my priest calls me Matthew. And, well…a few judges in the courtroom. And my partners when I cause them undue stress in the workplace. I mean you…you can call me whatever you want, whatever’s more comfortable. It’s just-it’s kinda formal, and you don’t have to-”
“Matt’s nice. I like Matt.”
“Matt likes you.”
Matt internally grimaced as those words slipped past his lips, and the mixture of disapproval and mortification on his face from his own blunder caused a fit of giggles to erupt from your mouth.
“Well, then we’re on the same page. Glad we’ve covered that base for tonight.”
He let out a breathy chuckle as he dipped his head for a moment, trying to find the source of his usual easy charm to refuel his glaring depletion. He cleared his throat as tilted his head to the side slightly, gazing blankly past his crimson glasses in the direction of your face with a somewhat shy smile on his full lips while delicately handing you the bouquet.
“I uh…didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked, but the guy said these were the prettiest ones he had.”
Warmth spread across the tops of your cheeks when your fingers lightly brushed against his to retrieve his thoughtful offering, your lips immediately splitting into a wide grin.
“They’re beautiful. Thank you, Matt. I love peonies. How did you know purple was my favorite color?”
Matt perked up at that, and he stood up a little straighter as a proud, dimple-showcasing, toothy grin took over his mouth.
“Lucky guess.”
“Do you always get so lucky?”
“I guess we’ll find out tonight.”
Matt’s dazzling grin immediately dropped, and you could see his eyes widen behind the cherry tinted lenses. As his face paled and his lips parted in horror, his brows shot up above the frame of his glasses.
“Oh God, I didn’t-that wasn’t…I swear I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not-you’re not-this isn’t…I meant the date. Not that I’m expecting anything-I wouldn’t-I just…meant I hope it goes well. I didn’t-Jesus fucking Christ.”
You were nearly in tears with laughter as Matt stumbled over his words. A part of you felt bad for laughing at the clarity of his humiliation, but it was so endearing knowing he was just as affected by his nerves as you were. This man that went out every night to take down dangerous criminals, and was arguably the most feared man in the city himself, was standing in front of your door stumbling over an apology about an unintended double entendre. 
Reaching out to place your hand on his arm, you gave it a reassuring squeeze, momentarily distracted by the dense muscle you felt beneath the soft material of his shirt, before smiling at him in sympathy as you attempted to control your laughter. 
“Matt, it’s okay. Really.”
He let out a deep exhale, his tongue darting out to wet his lips quickly as he let out a short and dry chuckle. Matt nodded his head in your direction, a faint curve of self-deprecation on his lips.
“Is this the worst first date you’ve ever been on?”
There was a teasing tone accompanying the timber of his voice, but layered beneath you could detect a chord of genuine curiosity intermingled with trepidation. The smile on your lips only grew as you looked up at him.
“Actually, it’s one of the best.”
Matt was completely in awe of you. There wasn’t a single falter in your heart’s rhythm. He felt his lips easily mirroring the smile that was on yours, reaching his hand out to lightly grasp your elbow as your hand was still comfortably placed on his bicep.
“What would I have to do to make it the best?”
“Hm. What’s for dinner?”
“Italian. That I know you like.”
A soft noise of content hummed from your throat, and the grin that bloomed on your lips triggered his own.
“Yeah, you’re definitely in my top three right now. But, the night is still young.”
Matt couldn’t help but chuckle at the playful invitation that flowed from your voice.
“Top three? I can work with that. I like a challenge.”
»»———  ———««
The restaurant Matt brought you to was a quaint, family owned spot just a few blocks away from your shared apartment building. It’s a place he had passed by on several instances, the aroma of fresh produce and homemade pasta sauce passed down through generations capturing the intrigue of his senses every time he crossed its path, but he had wanted to save it for a special occasion like a celebratory fifty year old bottle of champagne.
And tonight, he was popping the cork on it with you.
The space was incredibly cozy. Tea light candles flickered romantically on every table and cast an amber glow in the somewhat dim lightning. Collections of sepia and noir photos of large families and historic Italian architecture decorated the walls. The imported Sangiovese was rich in tannins and bold in flavor, caressing your tongue like bittersweet velvet. And the loud personality and thick accent of your waiter repeating your orders off in an alluring symphony of Italian made you feel like you and Matt had somehow been transported straight from Hell’s Kitchen to Italy just by passing through the door.
Both of your nerves seemed to evaporate into the breeze flowing through the open windows with every splash of burgundy against your lips and exchange of exquisite flavor from your dishes. Matt asked you questions with childlike excitement, eager to learn more about you, studying you with the exact same enthusiasm he showed important cases that were of the utmost importance to him.
In return, he found himself answering your own inquisitions easily without having to spare the devilish and more complicated details. It was so incredibly emancipating to not have to pretend with you. For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t having to play a character. He could just be…Matt.
You approached every question with genuine curiosity and a respectful distance of where his invisible boundaries might be, and it made his heart soar that you were trying so hard to carefully craft his comfort. Matt had known that he was enthralled with you the first time he met you, but by the time dessert came, he was absolutely smitten.
He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself, but he also didn’t want the night to end.
“Can I walk you home?”
“Hm, I don’t know. You sure it isn’t too out of your way?”
Even if Matt couldn’t feel the way your lips parted into a huge smile, he could hear it in the cadence of your voice. The subtle joke made him chuckle as he nodded his chin in your direction, his own mouth pulling into a charming smirk. 
“I’d still offer even if you lived in Long Island.”
The sudden spill of heat across the tops of your cheeks and the quiet sharp intake of your breath had his heart pounding faster in his chest.
“I suddenly wish I did.”
Even though your tone was playful, he could detect the implications behind your words. You didn’t want this night to end either, and that had him soaring up to cloud nine. Feeling emboldened by your indirect confession, Matt reached his hand out slowly to brush his fingertips against the palm of your hand, easily threading his fingers through your own, reveling in the softness of your skin that he had missed. He felt a spark every time your pulse resonated against his own, and his cheeks nearly hurt from how much he was smiling.
“I prefer you living a floor below me.”
By the time the two of you reached your front door, Matt couldn’t tell if it was the electricity from the building buzzing in his ears or the anticipation that kept building the entire walk, growing larger and larger like a snowball ready to plow into his chest to cause an avalanche when you turned your body to face him. As your thumb lightly brushed against the back of his scarred knuckles, a question that had been bouncing around in his head all evening could no longer go unanswered.
“So, as far as first dates go, what’s the verdict? Did I move up at all?”
Matt splayed his most charming smile across his plump lips, and while the flirtation in his voice was evident, so was the unmistakable undertone of uncertainty. The blood rushing through his veins was roaring in his ears like tides crashing against the shore during a storm. 
“I’d say you made it to the top two.”
Matt cocked his head to the side slightly, seemingly surprised by your answer, his brows raising above the browline of his glasses slightly.
“Second place?”
“Unless you’ve got a last minute testimony for me to rule in your favor, Counselor.”
Your voice remained soft and teasing, but your heart was fluttering violently in your chest, like the hummingbird was trying to escape its cage. Matt carefully let go of your hand, reaching up to pull his glasses away from his face, baring himself completely before you as he slipped the crimson lenses into his pocket. The slight gasp from seeing his eyes for the first time that caught in your throat caused a bashful smile to appear on his lips. 
His tongue darted out to wet them quickly, catching a taste of the tiramisu you shared still lingering on your tongue. He wanted to devour it from your lips. Taking a bold step forward, he did his best to fix his gaze where he thought yours was, leaning in slightly until your noses were merely an inch apart, the warmth of his breath fanning over your lips.
“May I?”
His voice seemed to have dropped an octave lower, coming out in an intimate whisper that you answered all too eagerly.
“Yes.”
Matt couldn’t hold back any longer. He quickly closed the sliver of distance between you, pressing his lips to yours with a satisfied groan, feeling a surge of pride at the way your breath caught in your throat. For a good thirty seconds, you actually stopped breathing. When he reluctantly broke the kiss, he brushed his lips against yours and whispered into them softly.
“Breathe.”
The second the command slipped off his tongue, you exhaled heavily before sucking in a sharp drag of oxygen, and Matt couldn’t stop the smug grin that overtook his entire mouth.
“Well, sweetheart? What’s the verdict now?”
“Yeah…yeah, yeah definitely in the number one spot.”
Matt beamed at the breathlessness of your voice, his arm snaking around your waist to pull you in closer to his chest as he purred into your ear.
“Lucky me.”
tags: @yarrystyleeza @little-miss-dilf-lover @desert-fern @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @bubuslutty @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042 @danzer8705
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messenger-of-stupidity · 17 days ago
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Dude, this is killing me.
I genuine cannot understand how trump voters are choosing this guy. Like, WHY???
This man is a nepo baby and has never worked a real day in his life.
He's friends with Diddy and praised the bastard.
He's found guilty of 34 felonies.
He wants to turn the US into a fascist country.
He was friends with Jeffery Epstein.
He's friends with Elon Musk, a fellow nepo baby who's kids don't even want to associate with him. Who think women shouldn't be able to vote. Who didn't even design Tesla, but just bought it. Who's a massive fucking hypocrite. Who is a hateful bastard.
He hypersexualizes and objectifies women.
His only real defense is anti-immigration (bullshit), anti-LGBT (more bullshit), and misogynistic (surprise surprise, even more bullshit).
He's a horrible person. He doesn't care about this country, or the majority of people in it. He doesn't care about women's bodily autonomy. He doesn't care about survival.
He feeds lies and propaganda to make you think he'll make a change.
The only thing this man cares about is power and winning. And the people that voted for him are supporting that.
And if you're worried about the economy, let me tell you something.
Democrats don't fuck up the economy. Republicans do.
The way the government system works is that every policy takes time. A republican gets into office, and starts putting forth all these policies that aren't really going to take a strong effect until their term is almost up. Then a democrat gets into office and gets the blame for the negative effects that the policy has taken. They put in changes to fix it, which takes time. Their term is up. A republican takes office, and gets the credit for the benefits, only to fuck it all up again.
Also, Kamala Harris can't use tax dollars to fund sex changes for illegal immigants (because we've all seen that one ad). That's not the way the American healthcare system works, and sex changes are done through the American healthcare system. We'd have to be more of a socialist country for our tax dollars to go towards that. (Not that anyone should care about what someone wants to do to their body to feel more comfortable in their own skin.)
This man does not care about this country, so he should not be getting votes. And not voting for Kamala or Trump isn't going to help either. Independent parties pull votes away to give power to the Republicans. Most of the people who vote outside of the two major political groups are liberals. Which makes it more likely for the Republican party to win.
Stop voting for yourself, if you do this. Vote for the people who are going to be affected. Vote for the women who are going to die because they can't get the healthcare they need. Vote for the transgender individuals who are going to be hurt and attacked for something that we should all be sympathetic for. Vote for the people who aren't going to be able to marry those they love. Vote for the people who are going to lose the ability to safely practice their religion.
I've seen so many Republican woman talk about how "well it doesn't affect me, so why should I care?"
You should care because of human decency. Because of empathy.
Also, fun fact, the more educated you are, the more likely you are to vote liberal.
(It's British, but the point remains. I couldn't find the one specific towards US statistics. But it's almost 2 in the morning, so forgive me.)
And one of the first groups to be attacked in a fascist state is the more educated and intellectual individuals.
Secondly... Do you really want this being the face of America for four more years?
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semischarmed · 10 months ago
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Don’t blame me for this one, you guys voted for something diabolical.
= = = = =
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The references were esoteric. In fact, I had to hide my true research from the university, under the guise of reclassifying “ritualistic” items. The irony did not escape me. I was actually looking to access a “ritualistic” item that was classified as mundane. 
Legends spoke of a god of flesh. One that manipulates the body as one would manipulate clay. Its name has long since been lost to time, but there are echoes of his work in the myths of old. We often hear of a creator god shaping man from the earth, of half-human hybrids and giants and other such peculiarities. Glimpses of this god of flesh. I had only read into such a figure from a blog by happenstance. A miracle of probability. 
I eyed the needle, now in my hand. It was unassuming but carried a supernatural weight to it, like the weight of time immemorial. I grinned, practically moaned as I pricked my finger with the needle. 
I expected some sort of magical fanfare, maybe a gust of wind but found none. I stared at my hands and then I noticed it. My hands. My flesh. I could feel all of it. I stared intently as I pinched the skin above my finger, I willed the pleat to hold its shape and smiled. I was ready.
- - - - 
I thought through the myths, now partial realities in my head. Though I felt myself brim with power, I knew the drawbacks- there had to be a reason the myths had not made it to present day. The answer appeared in my head. There is only so much one man can do, and being giftedoften made one a target. A word echoed in my head. “Protection”. That did seem to match my records. Humans of old would change their flesh to be stronger, more resilient, adapting to every circumstance thrown at them. But the weakness persisted. One prick to channel the same power as the god of flesh, and another prick locks you from that power again. I smiled to myself. I just needed to get… creative. 
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Joey Cooper was well-known around the college. A fifth year senior majoring in Sport Science. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he always meant well. He had an air of confidence to him that often aided his statuesque form. Despite this, something else drew my interest even further. His unattainability. The man was often called by his nickname “old faithful,” having been in a relationship with his girlfriend Britney for as long as any can remember. Guys and girls from all walks of life have tried to tempt “Juicy Joe” (A nickname he wasn’t aware of). None of have succeeded. 
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And then there was Charlie Cooper, his younger brother, a freshman with the face of an angel. He had unattainability in a different sense. Kind eyes and gentle curly locks framed a face that often wore a worried expression. Unlike his brother, he was timid, and a bit reserved. He had a lack of confidence that seemed to be a hindrance to his social life. Charlie would often shied away from conversation, despite others regularly visiting his dorm. Charlie roomed with Joey in the school dorms, a rarity for this campus. I overheard a conversation with Charlie once on this oddity. Beneath his unintelligible mumbling he mentioned something about being “faithful to Brit” and getting Charlie “out of his shell”.
I bit my lip thinking about the prospects.
— - - - - -
“Oh hey Joey!” I waved casually as I approached a Joey returning to his dorm room, face flush and covered in a sheen. He must have just come from the gym. He was consistent with his workouts, so it was no surprise he would still be in campus after finals to get one last pump in.
“Hey dude! Uh, sorry I don’t remember names to well”. He replied back in a friendly manner. I shook my head at that.
“No need to apologize. I don’t think we’ve ever formally met.” He looked back at me expectantly, hand outstretched to greet. I shook it as I continued. “My name’s gonna be Joey too”. He nodded and smiled politely but the man’s face couldn’t hide his visible confusion.
I clung onto the lack of rejection on Joey’s part as an invitation for myself. As he continued into his room, I followed, allowing the door to close behind us. The silence from the near empty dorm was deafening. He turned around, again making a polite smile. “Uh hey again… Joey… can I help you?”
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I dropped all pretense, rushing to his bed and taking a whiff. “Fuck dude, you smell so hot”. Everything in the room carried a small sample of his scent. Like a gentle sweaty musk overlaid with his detergent. I looked to the sweaty Joey, inching closer and taking a whiff of his fresh personal scent. Divine. I felt my jaw unlock in a small moan. His post workout scent was like a concentrate of the pleasant musk I smelled before. Like raw testosterone and shallow breaths, and a hint of earthiness that exuded power. Juicy Joe. I was drunk on the scent, mind transfixed, until I caught him staring. He was starting to get upset.
“Hey bro, you should probably lea-“ He froze as he saw me extend a nerve out of my hand, like a red root outstretched into the air. “The fuck?”
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He began stepping back but as soon as my nerve landed on his arm, he struggled back into stillness. I smiled in euphoria as I felt every individual root of my vein burrow into his skin and connect with his. Checkmate. He watched as more and more of my nerve rooted into his flesh, screaming as he felt the violation to his sense of touch. 
“No one can hear you bro, it’s after finals, remember?” I twirled the needle in front of him before setting it on the table. “Can’t have you taking a shower and removing your natural cologne”. Joey was still frozen as he saw me begin to undress. Juicy Joe had a body brimming with power, and I knew it would burst at any moment. I took care as I undressed, rooting and unrooting my nerves, and making sure to always keep at least one red thread of control on him at all times. 
Joey glared as he saw me finish placing my clothes in a neat pile on the floor. “Your turn”.
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“What the fuck dude!? What makes you think-“ He was cut off as the red strings bridging our flesh began to writhe. In turn, he felt his meaty arms begin to move, and pull down his compression shorts. The feeling was altogether unfamiliar, as he felt his own flesh betray him and move to my will. I willed him to hand me the soaked shorts. Even with the power of the god of flesh on my side, I could feel Joey struggling for control through sheer willpower alone. I laughed a little in my head. There are other ways to break a man. 
I brought his heavenly scented shorts up to my face, gorging myself on the potent raw musk of man. Like a pungent blast of earth and humidity and testosterone. A Joey-concentrate. I could practically feel the potency of it clawing at my nostrils. A sweat-laden Joey reeked in the best way. I must have been lost in pleasure, because my eyes refocused to his pleading face. “P-please man, just stop whatever this is. What do you want?”
I laughed. “Isn’t it obvious? It’s you. I want you. Every part of you.”
A few more nerves shot from my legs, and directly into his. With some new tethers in place, I pulled the threads connecting my arms to his, and quickly slipped under his sweaty workout shirt. I clung to his muscled chest for dear life. ‘Bless these stretchy workout shirts,’ I thought to myself. I felt along the ridges of his spine, across his shoulders which screamed power, and with my hands, I greedily caressed the flesh previously only touched by Britney. I gripped our embrace tighter. Joey was screaming and writhing, soaking the shirt further and my body in his struggle. I moaned as he screamed, as every turn and twist his body made also pushed my chest closer to his, confined by his own workout shirt. I sighed dreamily as his struggle compressed us closer together.
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With the power of the needle, I made myself much more malleable and began to slip my arms to into the arm sleeves of his shirt. I spiraled them across his meaty biceps, possessively claiming every square inch of his flesh as my own. I did the same with my legs, wanting to bind us further.
The sight must have been bizarre- two men, naked from the waist down, both in the same sweaty workout shirt. And the smaller man, stretching and wrapping his arms and legs over the other.
“Now for some real fun” I stated, as I shot out as many of my nerves into him as I could. He screamed at the sensory assault as he fell unconscious. I merely continued rooting into him, relishing in being able to feel every inch of Mr. Unattainable. I slowly stumbled our bodies toward his mirror, making sure to have him grab his own phone.
= = = = =
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When Joey came to, he saw my head hanging to the side in front of his, and his body enveloped by mine. He panicked when he saw more threads from my face rooted into his neck and mouth. “Fuck Joey, I can feel how strong your lungs are. Even your breaths feel like a top jock” I moaned. 
Like raindrops, I felt his tears stream down his cheek and onto my face. “L-Let me go man. Look I’m sorry for whatever I did to you. I swear I don’t remember doing anything.”
I laughed callously. “No need to apologize, bro. You haven’t done anything to me. I just want you all to my own.” I brought his phone up to his face so he could see the name on the call screen. Britney.
“Babe?” She answered. “What’s up?”
“H-HEL-“ He tried to holler. Instead, his neck swelled and throat strained as he my red thread began to writhe. 
“Joey? Is everything all right?” She asked in a worried tone.
“Fuck yeah it is,” Joey’s mouth laughed, while his eyes showed fear. I continued to use him as my mouth piece. “You’re so boring, Brit. Just called to tell you it’s over.” Tears began to well in his eyes. I could practically hear the tears in Brit’s eyes over the phone.
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“Joey… I. Is something wrong? You never call me Brit. I told you how my dad used to…” She trailed, trying to rationalize the situation.
I continued the puppet show as Joey’s eyes continued pleading with me. “Nothing’s wrong, Babe. In fact, it’s finally all right over here.” He stated with a smile. Joey’s eyes winced at the venom spewing from his mouth.
Joey grunted as he tried to stop his free hand from fondling my ass. “Do you know how many girls and guys wanted in these pants, Brit? Do you know how hard is to always turn someone down. They all want a piece of Juicy Joe.”
“I mean, yeah, I guess you mentioned it once…” She sniffled. “But I thought we were fine” said a choked up Britney.
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“Fuck no this isn’t fine. Look at me. I’m a fucking bull.” Joey was forced to say, while sticking his tongue out. I briefly stopped his hand from groping my cheek to force it into a biceps flex. He tried to squirm his head away but was ultimately forced to lick it and moan. I huffed and whispered in his ear. “I bet you taste fucking salty, Joey.” 
“Babe, what’s wrong? You never talk about your body that-“
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“Brit, just shut the fuck up”. That seemed to shut her up. “Always fucking whining too…” I made Joey huff. The upper half of his head was sobbing now. I forced his free hand back over my ass, and used his other hand to set the call to speaker. “It’s over”.
Joey dropped the phone on the table- still mid call, as I willed his other hand to cup my other cheek. Squeeze. “Fffuuuuck” I moaned. “You’re fucking mine, Joe.” Like his musculature, I commanded my cock into a malleable state, snaking over his, encircling it like a fleshy sleeve. Then, all at once, my red threads of control stirred, as Joey fucked his thick jock dick into my makeshift cocksleeve. “I’m fucking yours”. I made him say. My eyes fluttered in drunken bliss.
“Joey- who is that?”
I felt his head struggle as he tried to stop his body from growing hard. At this, I made sure he had full control of his cock. His plump ass cheeks tightened as his body was forced to thrust into me. I saw him wince, but we both felt the change. Even without me controlling it, his cock stirred to life.
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I willed my flesh puppet to answer. “Oh, him? I’ve been fucking him during this call, Brit. That’s how boring you are. Stupid too- we’ve been fucking for months and you never noticed” I make him say it to his reflection as well, topping it with a sleazy grin he never wore. I also made a point to moan, to force him to thrust his hardening dick into me in loud, boisterous grunts. “Fuck. Brit. You. Never. Felt. This. Good”. I make him gasp in between breaths. 
“So you’re fucking him, right now?” She asked, now turning to anger.
“Mmph… YES” I let him shout, as I tightened my fleshy trap around his engorged dick and milk his seed dry. To add to the injury, I released control of his mouth at the same time, so in that moment, he felt himself scream bloody pleasure and coat my flesh in his juices.
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“YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD TO ME,” Britney shouts, before hanging up.
Perhaps it was due to the pleasure, or the bombardment of his senses, or the sheer perversion of the situation, but Joey’s eyes rolled back to its whites and his head slumped into my shoulder. 
I basked in the moment, coated in the sweat and baby batter of Mr. Unattainable. Breathing in sync with his unconscious form. With his head still slung forward, I willed his upright form to give my ass another squeeze. “Take me, bro. I’m your fucking meat puppet. Feel me. Use me. These muscles, this body. It’s all yours. I’m all yours.” I make Joey say. Mr. Unattainable wholly mine.
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I kept him upright, facing the mirror without a care for how sore his post-workout body already was. I made sure he stirred awake, to still see himself playing and groping my fleshy form, bonded together supernaturally by the god of meat. He sobbed silently at our union.
With Joey whimpering and broken, I began to retreat into my original form, letting his arms and legs and chest free. All that connected our two naked bodies now was just a single thread of red. But just one thread was all I seemed to need. I no longer felt resistance from his body, as his sullen face just looked to me with defeat. 
I made him reiterate my will. “I’m all yours,” Joey mumbles. I puppetted him to close the distance, and pull my back towards his abs. Joey did not resist as body grinded into mine. He clumsily grabbed my head for a sloppy kiss. And once again, I tasted and experienced something only Brit previously had. His tears smeared into my cheek as I started making him kiss me. My eyes fluttered closed as I was in ecstasy. True pleasure. His lips slowly pried mine open, then the tip of his tongue touching mine. In our deranged intimacy, I savored the taste of Joey’s mouth and of his tongue now forced mine. I didn’t want this to end. Joey’s body pulled back from the kiss and began groping itself, repeating his new mantra. “I’m all yours.”
Still repeating his mantra, my eyes locked with his, before he grabbed the needle from the desk and pricked his hand with it. In that instant, I heard the door unlock. 
What were the chances? Another miracle of probability. There was a single late final on campus, for an upper div class that freshmen rarely took. And yet, it seemed there was one freshman that did happen to take such a class.
Just my luck. 
Charlie.
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= = = = =
A two-parter. Could not for the life of me get usable photos of “Joey” in a compression shirt, so you’re gonna have to use a little imagination for that one haha.
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tom-foolery-incorporated · 6 days ago
Note
Dude after the free use human fic, after human was finally out of the hole is she going to get asked by the bots if that can do it again instead of y'know being stuck in the wall, because I can imagine the bots won't stop thinking about it
......
>:333
Rehehehehehehe
Various Lost Light crew members x reader, gender neutral AFAB reader, racially ambiguous, free use, very mild dubious consent if you squint
I bet Swerve begs the human to have a free use night at his bar. Like buy two drinks get to use the human. You know Ultra Magnus had to help set up in order to make sure everything was in line and in order. Buy two drinks then get a ticket with your number for the human to service you. Then it just breaks down into a huge robot gangbang in the middle of the bar.
You know Rodimus is coming to the human like twice a day absolutely pussy whipped and begging to be inside his favorite human again.
Megatron finally getting a turn and making it so the human can’t walk for a whole week. Just blissed out smiling with a lake of transfluid under them as their abused hole just gapes. He’s very attentive with aftercare but he’s also worried he might have broken them.
Ratchet took them in under the guise of their own medical well being but bro doesn’t know jack about organics and just wanted an excuse to have them to himself. Drift jacking off Ratchet using the human like a spike sleeve.
You know Tailgate is humping them like a rabbit every chance he gets and Cyclonus is watching the whole thing with his spike in his servo.
Rewind and Chromedome taking the human out on a romantic excursion so they’re all buttered up when they share them. Soft lighting and music while they take turns using the human’s holes. I feel like they’d run a train on their special little human.
Nautica would probably be int having the human ride her then tease them when they get tired. “Nuhuh! I saw what kind of stamina you have,” she’d say while giving a sharp thrust. “I know you can do better than that.” Then she’s punishing the little human when they cum before her. She’s fingering them and using them like a toy. The human comes out of her habsuite covered in purple lipstick marks and smiling like a dope.
Whirl would scoop the human up and stash them away in his habsuite all for himself. He just wants the soft mushy sex where his human is stroking his face and peppering kisses all along his body until he can fuck their face with his spike. He’d definitely tease at breaking them and turning them into nothing but a hole for everyone to use but he knows how fragile humans are and to be more gentle.
Brainstorm is running all sorts of experiments trying to see which toys his human has the best reaction to, how hard they can cum, how many orgasms until they pass out. It’s all for research purposes he tells himself while watching Perceptor fuck you stupid while jacking himself off.
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danieyells · 5 months ago
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@2flowerz also asked for Lyca so
NOW WITH 100% MORE DOGGO LYCA. HE IS DEFINITELY A HUMAN AND NOT A WEREWOLF. He is trying very hard to be a human. I love him very much. . . .
Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)
"...You again. Where're we going today?"
You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)
"Hey, you got letters. Don't you have to read them? Oh, don't you know how?"
he understands if you can't read, man. neither can he.
Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)
"You smell sweeter than usual today... Stop. Go away."
after learning that the pc is going to turn into the anomaly that cursed them any sort of 'you smell nicer than normal' feels like such a threat lmao
"You want to touch me? Fine. Ten seconds and that's it."
that is more than enough my good sir
"When I find Neros, I wanna prove I've been getting along with humans. Then he'll definitely let me live with him."
considering he related the term 'neglect play' to what Neros did to him. . .I'm not so sure. . .and if Neros was as old as he sounds like he was, I wonder if he's even still alive. . . .
"Hey! Moth-eaten Casanova! Where'd you go? I'm gonna show you my special move today."
"special move" in Japanese is 「必殺技」 or 'lethal move'/'killer technique', usually unique to a person or fighting style. Not sure if he wants to show Ed how cool he is or try and kill him lmao--
"This phone thingy they gave me keeps making noises and making me jump... Why do I gotta carry it everywhere? It's scary!"
Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)
"Mnn... Let me sleep... Don't touch me... Zzz..."
Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Laws, school regulations, anomalous law... Manners, morals, rules... How're you s'posed to remember all that?"
man i wish i could tell you. . .i've mostly got the morals in order, that's basically just 'don't do harm to others' when you get down to it. laws are about 50% 'don't do things that may endanger you or others' and 50% bullshit. the rest you're kinda on your own with.
Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Urgh... My skin's crawling... Moon must be gettin' round soon..."
Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)
"At first I was sad 'cause I got put in a different house to Suba, but all kinds of stuff happens here every day so it was fine."
awww he was sad because he doesn't get to see Subaru as often but he's not bored so it's alright! glad he's comfortable ;u;
Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)
"H-Hey, don't come so close! Somethin' about your scent makes my stomach feel weird!"
WE'RE ONLY ON AFFINITY 5 DUDE YOU CAN'T BE CATCHING FEELINGS THIS EARLY it's probably because he's scared of girls or something lol
Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"I didn't do anything wrong! Those guys were saying mean stuff about me 'cause they thought I couldn't hear. All I did was yell at them."
I hate how they won't even let Lyca defend himself verbally. . . .
Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)
"I don't mind classes. The teachers say cool stuff. Once I learn to read the textbooks and the notes and the blackboard it'll be perfect."
HE'S GONNA BE SUCH A GOOD STUDENT WHEN HE CAN READ???
Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"There was this big noise in our practical class and my ears popped out. Everyone ran away screaming. Damn it..."
wow they're cowards if the ears alone scared them. . .how're they supposed to deal with anomalies if that scared them!?
Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)
"This? It's a picture book, duh. How come you don't know that when you're a human? I study with it before bed, everyone does it."
I wonder who made him a picture book of all the things he'd be learning as a first year to study with. . . . . .or maybe it's just a generic picture book lol
Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)
"This blanket's not trash, it's just dirty. I can't sleep without it, so hands off."
he really loves that blanket huh. it must be one of the only things he had from his childhood or from being looked after by neros. . . .
Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)
"What's a "so-shul skill"?  That blond gigolo was talking about them. He said I don't have any. Is that a good thing?"
he's got social skills!! Just. . .not very human social skills!!!
Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)
"I'm starving... I wanna eat Sho's food, but I can't order it without Suba... Wait, you can read, right?"
Lyca slowly realizing how many people he knows can actually read and thus can help him with placing orders for delicious foods--
Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"That moth-eaten Casanova's in his room all day so I tried to take him for a walk, but he locked his door and ignored me. The hell?!"
LYCA CONTINUES TO SCRATCH AT ED'S DOOR COME FOR WALKIES ED!!!!
Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)
"That stupid blond gigolo ran off with my blanket. I'm not done sleeping yet..."
tbf your blanket is filthy. . .and I get it, it's what you've got and it smells familiar but. . . .
Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)
"I can't get back to sleep... I'm gonna wake up that moth-eaten Casanova for a walk."
lyca is a dog scratching at your bedroom door with his leash in his mouth like 'yes it is time for walkies now rise human'
Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)
"The teacher asked us to name an anomalous plant you can eat but when I did he said humans can't eat it. So what? I can, so I'm not wrong."
I AGREE WITH HIM HE SHOULD NOT GET THAT MARKED WRONG. if you only want a human applicable question say 'humans' not 'you.
Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)
"In the last place I never knew what time it was and I pretty much just slept all day. Now I gotta get used to having a "roo-teen.""
Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)
"I'm drawing. If I draw all the good stuff and bad stuff that happened every day I won't forget about it."
if he could write he'd keep a diary but since he can't write he's keeping a picture diary. . .and he's a really good artist according to his character story, so it's probably a pretty faithful recreation of whatever happened that day. i'd love to see his picture diary. . . .
Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)
"Huh? The blood on my bed? ...It's nothing. Don't touch my stuff, you're gonna get your smell all over it!"
WHY IS THERE BLOOD IN YOUR BED, BUDDY. ARE YOU OKAY??? IF YOU ATE SOMETHING IN BED THAT'S FINE I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE INJURED. . . .
Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)
"...Did you cry? Your scent is all squeezy. How come?"
smelling you sad makes him sad too so tell him why you're feeling sad and he can make the sad go away?
Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)
"I wanna go to the cafeteria, but the teachers won't give me my pocket money. They said I'll get "spoiled." The hell does that mean?!"
GIVE HIM SOME MONEY SO HE CAN BUY FOOD???? HE NEEDS TO EAT????? HE'S BUSY WITH CLASS SO HE CAN'T GO ON MISSIONS YOU CAN'T JUST STARVE THE BOY????
Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"That moth-eaten Casanova told me humans like it if you ignore them sometimes. Something about playing hard to get? I'm gonna try it tomorrow."
I wonder if that has anything to do with Subaru's home screen chat where he wonders why Lyca hasn't messaged him back. . .he's trying to play hard to get because he thinks it'll make Subaru like him more. . . .
Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)
"I'll stay here and be quiet at night, even when the moon's not round. 'Cause you're tired, aren't you? Go sleep."
even if he doesn't have to stay or even if he wants to make lots of noise, he'll stay and be quiet so it's easier for you to fall asleep. He won't be loud and you don't have to worry about him! so sleep tight!
Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)
"Sleep here. Huh? Is there a law that says we can't sleep together? There's not, is there? Hurry up and lie down."
it's pretty much innocent. . .he just wants you close by. . .being able to smell you while he sleeps would probably make it easier to fall asleep. . .feel safe and familiar and everything. . . .
Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)
"I'm gonna work hard... I'll gonna work so hard, they're gonna say I can live with humans forever..."
Lyca, despite being a werewolf, is a lot like Kaito in that he just wants to be a normal human. Except he never started as a normal human, so he has a bit further of a distance to go to become one. . .he's not a dog, he doesn't wanna be a pet or an animal or anything like that. He wants to be a person like everyone else. But it's hard when others reject him, and when everyone says they think he's too dangerous even when he hasn't done anything wrong. Other ghouls--other humans--do way worse stuff than he does, and yet he's still held to a higher standard. It's not fair. But he's working as hard as he can to catch up. . . .
Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)
"That blond gigolo tried to wash my blanket! He's never coming in my room again!"
he does not like spring cleaning--
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Lately there's flower smells everywhere, but sometimes there's one that kinda smells like you."
IT'S GONNA BE HILARIOUS IF THE ANOMALY THAT CURSED YOU HAPPENS TO LIVE IN OBSCUARY'S FOREST. . .LIKE YEAH IT'S JUST OUT THERE IT WAS ALWAYS ON CAMPUS IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU WE COULD'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS CURE BEFORE YOU GOT IT.
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Harurin kept nagging, so I went to the safari park. Not gonna lie...it was super fun."
I love that Lyca uses the nicknames Rui uses for some people lol and I bet he loved running around Jabberwock!!! All that fresh open air and the wildlife. . .he's a wolf at heart really and truly.
(between 8pm and 5am)
"Cherry blossom petals are super fun. They're like, whoosh, then they fall everywhere. I wish our house had some."
Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)
"Urgh... My head...it hurts... This? It's shaved ice. The blond gigolo told me to eat it so I don't get "heat eggs-aw-schun.""
oh buddy you're eating it too fast. . . . . .
(between 11am and 4pm)
"I was just in that moth-eaten Casanova's room and it was so cold I thought it was gonna snow! Is he secretly a yeti?"
okay it was only 63 degrees in there it wasn't THAT cold Lyca.
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"I'm gonna go practice swimming at Harurin's place. Can you do other stuff besides doggy paddle?"
I can't swim at all so. you are miles ahead of me my friend.
(between 8pm and 5am)
"I know I said I always wanted to do sparklers, but... you sure this's okay? I thought we're not s'posed to play with fire!"
canid instincts are kicking in--fire BAD and SCARY and DANGEROUS. ABORT MISSION.
Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)
"I just tried to join in with some guys playing with a ball, but they said I don't know the rules and told me to go away."
THEN TEACH HIM THE RULES god they're such jerks around here.
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Blond Gigolo was makin' this massive fire near the garden just now. It smelled all burnt and sweet... Is that some kinda ritual?"
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Finished my picture. That Romi guy who comes to the bar all the time said he wanted one, so it's for him."
Romeo does like fine things. This just goes to show how good of an artist Lyca is! I bet Romeo's gonna frame it and put it somewhere people can see lol or maybe just keep it in his room. . .that or he wants to see if he can get him to make a forgery and profit off poor Lyca--
(between 8pm and 5am)
"Moth-eaten Casanova said humans like looking at the moon... D'you get sad if you can't see it?"
Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)
"I'm gonna go play at that big ice castle after class! Huh? 'Cause playing in the snow's fun."
THE FROSTHEIMERS BETTER NOT GIVE HIM TROUBLE LET MY BOY RUN AND ROMP IN THE SNOW!!!!!!!
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Mm, I don't really feel the cold. Humans get warm when they run around too, don't they? Race you over there! "
he is having so much fun in the winter ;;;;; just running around and playing. . . .
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"My fingers have been gettin' all tingly and stiff and my hair's all crunchy! What's up with that? "
maybe playing in the snow a little too much lol--
(between 8pm and 5am)
"How d'you drink hot drinks so quick? They always burn my tongue... Huh? Dogs have sensitive tongues? I'm a wolf, not a dog..."
His birthday: (April 19th)
"Oh right, it's my birthday. Neros told me my mom wrote down the date."
Your birthday:
"It's your birthday, right? No, I only know 'cause that blond gigolo was yelling about it. ...Here's your present."
I bet he drew something really nice or found you something really cool ;3;
New Years: (January 1st)
"Hope you have a happy and prop...props... prosp...prospinous? new year... Damn it, I practiced that for ages..."
Valentine's Day: (February 14th)
"Oh, thanks. Professor Nicolas said I can't eat chocolate, so I'll give it to Casanova and Gigolo!"
why would you even risk giving him chocolate in the first place lmao. . .also in Japanese he says "I'll share with those two idiots" instead of "casanova and gigolo" lmao
White Day: (March 14th)
"This is for you. I dunno what kinda stuff human girls like, but Suba helped me pick it, so it's prob'ly fine."
Subaru knows girls' tastes is Lyca's logic I guess lmao Subaru is a lil on the femme side comparatively--
April Fool's Day: (April 1st)
"Why's everyone being so mean today?! Telling lies and laughing at me... They're all jerks...!"
please explain the day to him. . .people are mean enough to him as it is. . . .
Halloween: (October 31st)
"My ears and tail are out? I know, I'm doing it on purpose. The moth-eaten Casanova said it's okay today."
THE ONE DAY HE CAN BE HIMSELF IS HALLOWEEN BECAUSE NO ONE WILL THINK ANYTHING OF IT. . .they'll just think it's a cool costume or maybe a fox robe! And he'll get candy for it!!!
Christmas: (December 25th)
"Hey, look! When I got up this present was next to my pillow! Santa really came..."
WHO TAUGHT HIM ABOUT SANTA. . .AND WHY. . .then again Romeo said Santa's reindeer is real so. . .it probably isn't actually harmful to teach him about Santa since Santa's probably somewhat real here. . . .
Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)
"...I'm going for a walk."
(13 affinity and above)
"Hey, you alive? Huh, you're breathing so I guess so."
Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)
"How come you stopped coming? Do you hate me? It made my heart all squeezy, so don't do it again."
oh no sweetie. . .sometimes we just have to take care of things and disappear without wanting to. . .sometimes life gets in the way instead of finding away. . . . . . . .
JUST. . .SWEETEST OF SWEETHEARTS. HE'S SO CHILDISH AND ADORABLE AND SWEET AND GOOD. . .I WILL USE MY TEN SECONDS OF PETTING TIME WISELY. He really does try harder than anyone, he's so determined and I believe in him so much. I want my boy to be happy.
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bitchimasnake-sss · 1 year ago
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"have i ever told you i love you?" ft. the monster trio
silly goofy headcannon with my favourite idiots of all time <3 ft. luffy, zoro and sanjiii x GN reader set-up: you've been them for quite a while but the "three magical words" have been off-limits (until today ig?) m.list
luffy:
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he was munching on a piece of meat (again) after having successfully begging sanji for forty minutes (and enduring two kicks)
literally, his mouth is full, there's crumbs on his cheek and through it all, he says "hey, have i ever told you i love you?" (with a smile as big as the one in the gif)
you almost choke on air, cause who the fuck asks it like that?
"i mean, no. not really?" your face is hot and you cannot decide if its a blush creeping up your face cause he is telling you he loves you or if its second hand embarrassment because hes admitting he loves you with face stuffed with meat.
atleast he looks cute tho? (take a win where you can lmao)
"huh? i haven't?" his brows are furrowed together, and just for a moment his focus isn't on his food.
"yeah" you sheepishly admit, giving into the warmth spreading across your cheeks
"okay" motherfcker just shrugs.
he's back to munching again. like he just shrugged and went back to eating. like he was asking what day it was and not confessing his love. what a fucking idiot????? how do you love him ur so confused?????
"that's all you have to say?" you're about to commit homicide.
"yeah?" then through a bite, he says "i do love you though."
and nvm, maybe the homicide can wait another day because right now you're busy ignoring the shit-eating grin that spreads across your lips.
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zoro:
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mf is drinking (like always)
and obviously, it takes quite a lot to take him down enough for him to say stupid shit
and even on the days he does drink quite a lot, he just falls asleep and wakes up with a shitty hangover and even shittier attitude
but on the days he doesn't fall asleep, well let's say it's a whiplash inducing experience
"hey" gulping down the last of his sake, his speech is as slurred as a swordsman can possibly get. you don't blame him, i mean it's been a rough couple of days after all, maybe he needs the booze to cope.
"mhm?" you're equally under the influence (if not more)
"have i ever told you i love you?"
yeah, that shit straight up sobers you up
"what?"
"have i told you that i love you?" he repeats, without any hesitancy at all.
this stoic bitch (who took 2 business weeks to finally hold your hand in public after you got together) is asking this question, absolutely unfazed.
for a second you wonder if the alcohol is making you hallucinate (can alcohol do that? probably not)
"did the alcohol make you go deaf?" still fucking unfazed.
"...no? you haven't" your voice is shaky, still confused if you're fucking hallucinating
"oh, well then i should let you know." and he gives you a classic, soft smile "i love you."
and then he passes out. he doesn't even bother hearing your reply.
yeah, next day you're furiously blushing every time you think about him and the words he said, meanwhile this stupid human being doesn't even remember. he is giving you weird looks and asking you if you feel okay because your face looks very red. and maybe you should ask chopper for help.
well, i mean atleast you remember what he said.
drunk words are sober thoughts afterall hehe
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sanji:
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a fucking gentleman!!!
actually the only one who had made a fucking plan to confess his love to you. he's a romantic dude (he just sucks at execution)
the entire day before, he is a wreck. he cannot hold eye-contact with you for more than two seconds, his food doesn't exactly taste as it always does (why is there salt in place of sugar sanji are you okay??), he is lost in his thoughts and giggling whenever left unsupervised
jesus lawd, this man is whipped
meanwhile you're out here wondering if he is going insane or getting terminally sick. you're not alone cause the entire crew is thinking the same
maybe you guys should ask chopper to take a look at him??
it's evening, the sun is going down and you're standing at the deck, admiring the view
everything seems perfect. then he taps on your shoulder and you turn around to a furiously blushing sanji with his hand behind his back
"sanji?" you gingerly place a hand on his shoulder, "are you okay? you have been acting a little weird all day"
"i- uh"
he fumbles for two whole minutes. nami counted (she told you at dinner later).
then after receiving a confused look from you, he finally blabbers it all in like one breath.
"yn ln you have made me the happiest man on earth and if you would please accept this bouquet, i would be grateful. would you please go on a date with me?"
the date was in your room, the room had been cleaned, he had cooked your favourite meal, he had got your favourite flower and although the whole ordeal had started rather awkwardly, you cannot help but feel giddy as he serves you desert
"say yn," he is blushing again, "have i told you i love you"
you snort out the desert.
sanji almost performed heimlich
when you're good again, you say, "no, you haven't actually."
"then you should know, i love you. more than anyone can ever imagine."
yeah you pray to god every night for this magnetic force of a fucking man. you must have been a good person in your last life.
perfect man, husband material, 10/10
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m.list
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theyhavetakenovermylife · 10 months ago
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hiiii! i was hoping for a mm!raph x fem!reader and maybe she’s a hallway crush for him and he finally talks to her and then they’re literally in love LIKE HARD CORE
Hallway Crush (Fluff)
MM!Raphael x reader
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A/N: Mind reader you are. I’ve been thinking about writing this one for some time, so thank you for asking😂❤️ I’ve cut it a little short today, as I’m still getting used to a normal everyday in a kindergarten, so it became more high school crushing instead of full on in love. Hope you enjoy❤️
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Warnings: None❤️
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Raphael stood with his head in his locker, acting like he was looking through his stuff for something specific. Well, he was in fact looking for something, but it was nothing in his locker. No it was down the hall, standing at their own locker, picking out the books for their next class.
This was not what Raph had imagined high school to be like. He had thought it would be like those movies he and his brothers used to see back in the lair. The stereotypical jock that had it easy, never scared about what people thought of him, every guy wanted to be like him, he picked on the nerd and had a pretty girlfriend. That was how Raph had thought his high school life would be like. But that was far from the reality he was served with.
Raph had made it onto the wrestling team, so that made him a jock, right? But nothing about school was easy. Raph struggled with reading and math, and he often found himself feeling a little subconscious whenever someone looked at him for too long. His turtle exterior might have been accepted by the people of New York City, but every long stair made him feel a little unsure. Raph was very dependent on Donnie and his nerd friends helping him out with homework, and at times he feared that people would rather get to know his brothers instead of him. And he did not have a girlfriend. But he did have a crush on probably the prettiest girl in the whole school. Great, right? No!
Raph had never even talked a single word to you, but stared at you from his locker, more than happy to be late for class if he could watch you for a little longer. There had been times where Raph had tried to talk himself up, wanting to start up a conversation with you, but instead he found that his hands were getting sweaty at the mere thought of talking to you. His heart rising and his body shaking whenever you were close by in the cantine, or those few times he had found himself at the same water fountain as you. He almost forgot to breathe whenever you looked in his direction, averting his gaze, never knowing if you ever actually looked at him. And the brutal truth was that Raph wasn’t even sure if you knew his name, but he surely knew yours, often finding it repeating itself in his head.
Despite that, Raphael did exactly as he had done every single day, after he saw you for the first time. He stayed at his locker, watching you as you looked through your stuff, getting ready for your next class.
Raph was relieved that his brother’s weren’t around. They had obviously seen the way their brother has started to act whenever you were in his line of sight. Mikey and Donnie had a blast, realizing that it wasn’t Leo that had gotten a crush on a human, but Raph as well, giving the two youngest something good to tease both of their oldest brothers with.
Raph felt his shoulders slump, remembering Leo’s crush on April. He felt like slamming his head against the side of his locker. Here he was, fearing something as small as your eyes turning his way, and his duns of a big brother was talking to his own crush everyday, even if he was rambling and fumbling over his words. This could not be. There was no way that Leo was better at this than Raph was. It could not be. And with those thoughts in mind, Raph once again tried to talk himself up.
“You can do this, dude”, he whispered to himself, daring another look in your direction. “You fought Superfly. You saved New York City. If you can’t talk to a girl, who can? Even Leo can do it, and he is a duns”.
Raph shut his locker with a sigh, before doing something he had never thought he would do. He walked in your direction, determined finally to have a conversation with you. You however, didn’t seem to notice Raph until he was a few feet from you. You shut him a small friendly smile, causing his heart to flutter and his body to shake with nervousness.
“H- hey”, Raph stammered, cringing at the way his voice cracked. He expected you to huff annoyed at him before leaving, but instead your small friendly smile deepened to a genuine smile.
“Well, hi to you too”, you smiled, a giggle escaping your lips when you saw his flustered expression. “Can I help you with anything?”
“Uhm… uh… yeah! I- I know you, (Y/N), but you don’t know me - sorry, no - I- I’ve seen you around, a- and I- I thought you were r- really”. Raph stalled at the way your eyes watched him with genuine curiosity and kindness, patiently waiting got him to finish. “W- will you go out with me?”
Raph had feared you would laugh, but not like you did now. It was light hearted and calm, and not in the least bit taunting. No, it was friendly and happy, somehow calming Raph’s frayed nerves down.
“I would love to do that, Raphael”, you smiled, trying to hide a small blush on your face.
Raph stared at you, his mouth agasp and eyes wide. “Y- you know m- my name?”
“Of course I do”, you smiled with a small giggle, avoiding eye contact for a few seconds. It was when Raph realized that you were nervous too. “Everybody does. You and your brothers saved the city, and well”. Biting your lip, you reached out and tucked on the sleeve on his flannel, making his heart skip a beat. “You’re hard not to notice. I’m not just talking about the whole turtle thing”.
“Oh?”, Raph asked, somewhat shocked. “You really think so?”
“Yeah”, you nodded, smiling brightly at him.
“Okay”, Raph said with a fond smile, feeling his nervousness fade away, giving way to a sudden urge of confidence, leaning against the locker. “Then what do you say to a pizza date this Friday?”
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vasyandii · 6 months ago
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I'm kicking my feet I love your oc Vernon! Let me pry though: have Vernon and AM ever kissed, or will they ever kiss? Also does AM enjoy the sensation of Vernon close to him or when she touches him, like in your art of her using him as an AC LOL
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AAAAH Howdy howdy!! I'm so glad you like Vernon as I've worked real hard on her! Thank you so much for the ask! 💞💞 I will be answering these in reverse order!
VernonAM 🏺🖥️
Does AM enjoy the sensation of Vernon close to him/when she touches him?
I like to believe AM's come a long way with being touched. When he first transferred his consciousness over to his body, it was sensory overload. The WORST kind.
Everything was too loud, too quiet, he could smell EVERYTHING, everything was too hot, too cold, not hot enough, his mouth felt dry even with the saliva he had, how much it hurt feeling the air in his lungs, HE COULD FEEL HIS EYEBALLS IN HIS SKULL. It was like being born, it was awful. Like Nietzsche said; "To live is to suffer."
Vernon sat him down, trying to calm him since this is technically the first "human" she's seen after 109 years.
AM could feel every fold of his clothing rubbing against his skin, every microscopic fibre stabbing his skin. The residual warmth from Vernon touching him to sit him down so he wouldn't collapse caused AM to start screaming, sobbing.
Because he had no mouth (roll credits) prior to this, he didn't know how to use it to form words. He couldn't articulate what was wrong in his fit of screaming and tears.
And so his body went limp not 10 minutes after. He got out of there, telling Vernon that it's the closest thing he could compare to the torture he put on the other five. Vernon had to convince him to come back again or she'd tear the damn body apart and eat it.
It took months, baby steps of getting him adjusted in being a man. They spent weeks on smell, touch, and heat before they would even consider movement. It was tough on Vernon's end, smart as she is, she's a terrible teacher, asking AM to leave her alone for a few hours or days, lashing out when he's in such a vulnerable state.
But Vernon persisted, and finally AM got to hold her comfortably. Fast forward to now, AM has grown quite fond of the sensation of touch and touching things just for the sake of it. They could be sitting and he'd have it so their shoulders are touching.
AM is fond of Vernon's touch, that's the only time she's gentle (despite her words) with anything that might have the possibility of breaking. He enjoys her softness and warmth; How protective she is of him. AM can't articulate genuine care since his hatred for humanity is still there, but he's grateful, even despite his taunts.
Have AM and Vernon ever kissed? Will they ever kiss?
They kiss often, those two degenerates. It almost makes me jealous how often they kiss (D1 hater over here).
Vernon's technically kissed him before, just to get him comfortable, but it's never on the lips or near his face, usually his wrists and knuckles. Exposure therapy along with affection, basically. He didn't try to kiss her back until he was fully prepared to.
After fully adjusting to his new body, AM was finally able to kiss Vernon. He wasn't very good at it his first attempt. It was more similar to AM headbutting Vernon than an actual kiss.
Having a body gave way to a new emotion; embarrassment. Since he's now technically on the same level as her (in height as well, he's a lil dude) he was embarrassed that his first attempt didn't go as planned. When he didn't have a body, there was nothing to be judged, but now he does.
After brushing it off as him being curious and just feeling like headbutting her, AM didn't attempt to kiss her on the lips until he was sure he was ready.
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Their proper first kiss was quite nice.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading my mad man words! I tend to ramble a ton, so if there's anything you'd like for me to clarify, feel free to tell me!
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