#i feel like tommy has been waiting for months for an opportunity to use the line

[hb-writes]

Ada: He's not speaking to me. And when he does, he calls me a "fucking Shelby" even though I'm a Thorne now.

Tommy: A thorn in my side for sure. 😏

Me:

[joelmillers-whore]

I've Got Nothing Left To Hide

summary: it has been a month since your injury, of taking it slow, and helping your father out more. and you’re sick of it. ever since you fully recovered you saw less and less of joel. actually, both miller brothers seem to be avoiding you and you’re determined to find out why. 

pairing: joel miller x reader, tommy & reader (platonic) 

word count: 3.5K 

series or one-shot

warnings: mature, language, cock-blocker tommy, joel x female!reader, no mention of Y/N, canon timeline (sort of), jackson era, post-outbreak, slight angst, joel avoiding his feelings, ends on a cliffhanger (sorry not sorry) 

A/N: got a little carried away. again. i am so thrilled that ya’ll wanted another part of this. i was hoping that you would because i had so much fun writing it. so, here we go. i was kind of going for more background on the whole dynamic between reader and joel and reader and tommy. it’s not super joel x reader heavy but i think i’m going to do anther part and explore their relationship more. let me know what ya’ll think of this part, i would love to hear some feedback or some ideas for other parts. thank you <3

read the prequel here

Spring was officially on the way. Every time you stepped outside, you spotted a new sign that Mother Nature was giving you. Like last week, in the middle of your daily walk around town, you’d stopped and looked down, seeing a patch of half-frozen grass at your feet, the beginnings of vibrant green peeking out of the snow.

For as much as you couldn't wait until it was spring, there was still more winter to be had. A crisp chill still clung to the air, which made you wrap your worn sheep-wool jacket tighter around your body. 

You unlatched the bar of wood that was slotted in place across the solid, wooden door of the church, pushing the doors open and taking a deep breath when the air hit your lungs. You’d been breathing in stale air the whole day, so this was a welcome relief.

You took a step back, taking in the view of the town from your elevated advantage. Your eyes snagged on the clinic across the street, reminding you that it hadn’t been that long since you’d been back home. 

You snapped your eyes shut, suddenly overwhelmed by the memories, the screaming, the pain. Your heartbeat was erratic, your breathing coming out harsher as your mind assaulted you with images that you’d tried hard to forget.

It was like you had been transported back in time and you felt weak, unable to protect yourself from the looming threat. You clenched your teeth, making your jaw ache. You’re safe. You’re not in that cabin anymore. You’re home. 

You never wanted to feel that helpless again, and you were determined not to, if anyone ever let you out of your gilded cage. Tommy and your father had taken it upon themselves to make every decision regarding your safety without consulting the one person that it would affect the most; you. It was driving you to the edge of madness. 

They were always keeping an eye on you, making sure that at least one of them was with you at all times. You’d made one mistake, one small fucking mistake, and now you were paying for it. As if the scar above your belly button wasn’t enough proof. 

Tommy had restricted your duties and practically barred you from going out on patrol, in no uncertain terms. And your father had been all too happy to jump at the opportunity, insisting that you could be of more use to him and the community if you helped out around the church.

He was obvious in how he wanted you to follow in his footsteps and one day take over as minister of the church, but that was the last thing that you wanted.

You wanted freedom, something different, more adventure. Not being chained to a pulpit for the rest of your life, however long that might be. But your father was the only family you had left, ever since the end of the world. It had been you and him, and you’d be remiss if you didn’t at least try to make an effort. You and your father had come a long way since arriving in town. 

You could remember the day vividly when Tommy had found you both just outside of Jackson, starving, bloody, and bruised. He had asked what either of you could bring to their community, in terms of skills. You had been surprised when he’d accepted you, your father’s only skill being that he was a minister before the outbreak.

But Tommy, being Tommy had seen past that. Seen past the lack of skills and past the teenager who was afraid of her own shadow. 

Aside from giving the folks of Jackson a distraction, some way to rationalize the direction the world was heading, you both couldn’t be much use to them. The old man and the kid. But again, the people of Jackson had surprised you, making you feel welcome quickly. It wasn’t for free, while you found your footing, you had also done your part to help out around town. 

Even at sixteen, Tommy and Maria had treated you better than some of the adults in town had a first. You were someone, even back then, who wasn’t trusting when it came to new people. You’d had your guard up at all times, starting fights with other kids your age until Tommy had stepped in.

He had taken you under his wing, not pushing you to open up, but more so guided you and gave you the space so that in your own time you came around. He’s nurtured you and taught you useful skills; mainly how to hold and shoot a gun. 

It wasn’t long before you were tagging along on patrol, Tommy claiming that you were a natural, and slowly building up the courage to leave town on your own, or with your own patrol partner. He had built you up from a volatile kid who could barely throw a punch, to someone who could take down a fully grown man in under two minutes. 

You couldn’t give him all the credit though, you’d worked your ass off, turning yourself into a human weapon. Refined and deadly. There wasn’t a day that went by when you didn’t think about how grateful you were that he had taken a chance on you and your father. 

Years had passed since you had first arrived in Jackson, but those lessons that Tommy had instilled in you still remained. A hoarse voice called your name, pulling you from your reminiscent thoughts, and making you turn toward it. It was your father. He was walking toward you, the slight limp on his right side more prominent now than it had been back then. 

Your face dropped as he approached, emotion bubbling in your throat when you looked at him. His skin was almost translucent, pale when the light hit it. And the colour of his eyes dulled as each year came and went, the weathered crinkles on the edges deepening whenever he smiled or laughed.

You couldn’t stop yourself from taking him in, hoping to save a mental snapshot of him while he was still here. 

Realistically, you knew that he didn’t have much time left, but the unrealistic part of yourself, the part that wanted him to last forever, ignored the realism and gave him a smile. No matter how many times you told him to take it easy, and remind him that he wasn’t fifty anymore, he wouldn’t hear it.

He’d brush you off and mumble something about how age was just a number. He didn’t want you to worry about him, he’d said. And you would drop it, carrying on like nothing was wrong. 

As your father approached you, he gripped the back of a pew, putting all of his weight onto it as if it was a struggle to stand. Your eyes dipped to his hand, but his voice brought you back. 

“Everything okay?”, he asked. 

You exhaled an annoyed puff of air. If there was a running tally of how many times in the past month your father asked you how you were, it would probably venture in the thousands. He was being overprotective and it was getting on your last nerve.

You appreciated that he cared about you but at a certain point, it was too much. Between both him and Tommy, you were one more question away from ripping your hair out. 

“Fine”, you replied, snippily. You cleared your throat harshly, your telltale sign that you wanted to move on from the topic of conversation. 

Your father’s face softened, noticing how you were folding in on yourself, avoiding his eyes, making yourself almost invisible. You were uncomfortable. 

“You seen Tommy today?”, he asked, changing the subject. 

You shook your head, surprisingly, you hadn’t. Which wasn’t out of the norm, Tommy was a busy guy and you understood the shift in his priorities as the community continued to grow. But lately, he had been checking in on you more and more, even since you’d gotten injured while on patrol. 

You sighed, letting yourself think back to what had transpired after Joel had gotten you back to Jackson. Joel. You could still feel the ghost of his deft fingers trailing your arms, the contrast of his callouses and the softness of his touch as he held you close to your body, cradling you like you were something precious.

Your mind had blocked out a lot from the incident, preventing you from remembering key details. But you remembered Joel. 

You remembered his strong arms helping you onto his horse, or the way that his lips melded with yours as you kissed him in the clinic. You brought two fingers to your lips, trying to memorialize how it felt to finally kiss Joel. His gruff voice echoed in your mind, constantly on a loop of we’re almost home and hold on a little longer and don’t give up yet, darlin’.

Somehow, through the delirious fog, it had been his voice that broke through and it was the one thing that had tethered you to this world, not letting you leave just yet. 

That had been the bulk of what you remembered, aside from the searing pain in your stomach from the stab wound. You could thank those fucking raiders for that one.

To your surprise, it hadn’t taken all that long for the wound itself to heal, the patch of skin now only an ugly and scarred reminder of how you couldn’t ever have your guard down like that again. 

According to the doctor, Joel had gotten you back to Jackson just in time. He had said that if he had waited longer you probably wouldn’t have made it. You hadn’t been prepared to hear that, to hear that you had been that close to death.

Before you’d had a chance to spiral after hearing that cheery news, Joel had returned to his side. Stoic as ever. You’d smelled him before you had seen him, his familiar musk invading your senses wholly and completely. 

You had spotted him almost immediately, meeting his huge brown eyes that, to your surprise, had already been on you. You’d been harbouring a crush on Joel for the better part of a year, Tommy insisting that you become his new patrol partner recently hadn’t helped much in quelling it either. 

You’d thought that things had progressed with Joel, you’d broken through his hard exterior to the point that he now laughed at your jokes, cracking some of his own in return, and he seemed like he enjoyed your company enough when you were alone for long stretches of silence during patrol. 

But now, a month after your injury, when you had kissed him and he had kissed you back, he seemed as distant as when you had first partnered up with him. And it was eating at you. You thought you had been on the same page, but clearly, you hadn’t been.

Your stomach twisted into knots when you thought about it. You couldn’t help thinking that you had fucked everything up between you. 

Maybe he had just been nice, kissing you back, telling you that it had been okay, comforting you. Maybe you were reading into a simple kiss between friends.

But why then would he tell you that he wanted to kiss you? Ever since the doctor had released you, you hadn’t seen Joel around. Keeping in line with the he-was-avoiding-you train of thought. 

You and Joel were friends, even though he would never admit it out loud, and you needed to confront him. If only for your own piece of mind. Your father called your name again. 

“Sorry”, you mumbled, “Did you say something?”. 

“All I said was that you should go take a walk around town, get some air”. 

Your brows furrowed. He had been keeping a close eye on you for weeks, and now suddenly he was suggesting that you take a walk, alone. Was he trying to get rid of you? 

“Why?”, you asked, skepticism lining your tone.   

“You’ve been attached to my hip all day, girl. Maybe go down to the market, find us something for dinner”, he paused, rubbing his chin, “Or go find Tommy”. 

And there it was. If wasn’t him keeping an eye on you, it was Tommy. You crossed your arms over your chest. An idea sparked as you thought more about your walk. 

“Fine”, you started, leaning forward and pecking his cheek. “Be back soon”. 

“Don’t rush”, your father called out as you crossed the church threshold. 

You had been walking around town for about ten minutes, casting a tight-lined smile at anyone you passed. Your cheeks were numb, the harsh winter wind nipping at them as you continued walking through town, passing by the Tipsy Bison. You stopped in your tracks.

Would it be weird if you happened to stop by Joel’s house? 

You bit your bottom lip, rolling it between your teeth. You debated the idea for all of a minute before you changed your direction, pushing the self-doubt aside as you made your way to Joel’s house. Before you knew it, you were on his front porch, inches from his door.

You were about to knock when your fist froze midway, you were hesitating. What if Joel didn’t want to see you? What if he was avoiding you for a reason? 

You began to step back, your foot finding the first step, backing away slowly. Suddenly, the door whipped open and you were knocked off balance from seeing Joel, literally. You fell back, over the steps and landed on your back in the cold snow. 

“Shit”, Joel mumbled, rushing toward you. 

Your face was burning from embarrassment as Joel kneeled down beside you. You chuckled awkwardly, propping yourself up on your elbow. His hand rested on your knee, the sensation causing an unexpected jolt in your body. 

Joel’s grip on your knee tightened ever so slightly, but he didn’t look away from your face, concentrating solely on you. 

He let out a steady puff of air, “You okay?”. 

You let your head fall back, chuckling humourlessly. God, could anyone ask you anything different? 

You looked back at Joel, who was staring at you peculiarly, his eyes squinting. 

“Peachy”, you responded, an edge to your voice. 

Joel straightened, extending a hand to you. But you ignored it, getting to your feet without his help. He took a step back from you, doing so almost cautiously.

His broad frame towered over you, watching your every move as you dusted the snow off of yourself. Joel’s hands were now stuffed inside the pockets of his jeans, eyes boring into you. 

“You sure?”, he asked. 

You took a step forward so that you were a breath away from him. Your chest grazed his, and his breathing stuttered, the air around you suddenly thick and charged. His chest was solid and firm, your mind running rampant with the memory of it pressed against your body. You could see the way his jaw ticked as he looked down at you, the pressure looking like it could shatter his teeth at any minute. 

You felt the heat of his stare, but you didn’t dare meet his eyes, your irritation too fresh to be stamped out by one heady look from him. 

“Why do you care? Not like you’ve bothered to check up on me lately”. 

Joel’s face fell and you instantly regretted your words. He didn’t deserve that and you didn’t know why you were lashing out at him. 

“I know. ‘M sorry”, he said, his voice strained. 

You finally met his face, those big, brown eyes gleaming with something you couldn’t place, something that resembled sadness. Or regret. 

“Then why did you stay away?”. 

He swallowed thickly and you watched his Adam’s apple bob, an unsure look on his face. His one hand went to the back of his head, rubbing nervously. Joel Miller was nervous and that made you smirk, you doubted anything made him nervous. 

“I didn’t want to”, he started, inching closer to you, in hands flying to your hips. A tiny gasp left you at the contact, the skin underneath his hand burning, even though you were wearing three layers. “But I wanted to give you some space”. 

A beat lingered between you before you spoke. “I don’t want any more space”. 

Joel groaned, his eyes snapping shut as you let your hand drift to his beard, the scratchiness making your fingertips tingle. Your heart was hammering in your chest, your lips closing in on his mouth. You wanted to kiss him, you needed to.

It felt like you had been deprived of oxygen this whole month, waiting for that moment when you could breathe again. 

Joel’s fingers grazed your chin, tilting your face closer to his. You could feel his hot breath fan your face, making you shiver in anticipation. 

“Joel!”, a loud, booming voice echoed from behind you both. 

He withdrew from you quickly, putting distance between the two of you. Your heart was in your throat, your nerves on fire, leaving you breathless once again. But it wasn’t in the way that you wanted. Disappointment filled you as Tommy came into view.

His eyes found yours momentarily before they settled on Joel, giving him a look that you couldn’t quite decipher.

He softened his features as he focused back on you, throwing an arm around your shoulders and tucking you into his side. 

“Hey, you”, you said. 

You smiled tightly at him, feeling the awkwardness flush your cheeks, “Hi”. 

“Mind if I steal her away?”, Tommy directed at Joel, who wordlessly shook his head, eyes on Tommy and not on you. 

You deflated further as Tommy led you away from his brother, and back into the heart of town. You looked back, watching the tail end of Joel disappearing back into his house.

You shrugged out of Tommy’s hold, watching as he put his hands in his pockets instead, not saying a word to you. 

“What do you need?”, you asked. 

He looked at you strangely before he connected the dots. 

“Oh, nothin’ really. Just thought I could walk you back home”. 

You gawked at him, stopping in your tracks as he continued on, not taking notice of how you had stopped. When he did notice, he looked back, confusion muddling his features. You arched a brow. 

“So, you just happened to stumble upon me when I was with Joel and decided I needed to be walked home?”, you asked, annoyance lacing every word. 

Tommy wasn’t one to beat around the bush. 

“What do you want me to say?”, he said, an exasperated sigh leaving him, his arms thrown up dramatically. 

“I want a straight answer, for starters”. 

He paused for a moment and you thought that he would blow you off, tell you that you were being a child and reading into things. But when he didn’t, you were surprised. 

“Honestly, I don’t think it's a good idea for you two to be spendin’ time together”, he started, taking a breath, “And from what I just saw, I don’t think your Daddy would take too kindly to the idea either”. 

Now your blood was boiling. Where did Tommy get off talking to you like that? Telling you who you could and couldn’t spend time with. You marched up to him, poking a finger into his chest. 

“I am an adult, Tommy. And contrary to popular belief, I can handle my own. So, I don’t think you should be poking your nose where it doesn’t belong. Because if you keep it up, we’re going to have some problems, Miller”. 

Tommy opened his mouth to say something but you were gone before he had the chance to say anything, stomping all the way back to your house, a cloud of anger and indignation burrowing in your gut. You pulled open your front door, seeing your father in his comfy chair by the fireplace. You mumbled a hello and locked yourself in your room. 

You were pacing, your feet wearing a hole in the hardwood. You stopped, an idea forming. A wicked, tempting fate idea. You dashed to your door, pausing a moment to listen for any indication of your father. The house was silent save for the usual groaning and creaking. 

Before you could change your mind, you pulled open your door, and sprinted out of the house and back toward Joel’s. You’d made it to the other side of town in record time, your chest heaving as you tried to level out your breathing. 

You pounded on his door, waiting for him to answer it. When he did, you swallowed thickly, eying the way his shirt was pulled tautly over his chest. You licked your lips subconsciously, not missing the way that Joel’s gaze dipped to them.  

“Can I come in?”, you asked, breathless. 

Joel hesitated, hand gripping the door above his head tightly, his knuckles whitening from the pressure. He seemed to be mulling the idea over in his head.

You expected him to turn you away, to tell you that it was a bad idea that you were at his house so late, that people in town would get the wrong idea about you and him. 

But you were past the point of caring, you were past the point of holding back. 

“Yeah, come on in, darlin’”.

[joelsbeard]

haha it’s me again, ur writing is srsly addicting you’re never getting rid of me😝

could u mby write some hcs for joel and reader when they’re parents? let’s say they had sarah and she’s in the energetic kiddie stage so they literally never get to fuck anymore because they have to worry about her all the time, so when they do get some alone time they js go crazy with it?

little specific and i’m sorry about that😭😭 js wanted to see what ur thots on this areeee<333

LMAO the pre-outbreak!joel horny gets to all of us!!! I'm also planning on writing some fluffier stuff too with joel, reader, sarah, and ellie as well :)

Joel would be so understanding with not pushing you to do anything you don't want to, especially after giving birth. He tells you he'll wait as long as he needs to until you're ready ❤️ You also can't keep your hands off your man tho lol so you end up waiting ~ 2 months to have sex (doesn't mean you weren't fooling around before tho hehe)

He loved your body before you were pregnant, while you were pregnant, and after giving birth!! He thinks the extra meat on you (lol) and cute little lightning marks are adorable bc it just means you went through all of carrying and growing his baby and giving birth ❤️🥺

And he's always like "you're so beautiful thank you for growing our babies and protecting them for 9 months 🥺"

Obviously once you have sarah you guys are sleep deprived as hell during the little free time you get, but you also enjoy just spending time together as a family of 3 or just having the time to cuddle when she's asleep or if tommy is helping watch her.

Your first time together after giving birth is probably a little nerve wracking but it ends up all just being in your head since you and joel make sure to go slow, and if anything is sore he always stops to check in with you first 🥺

Once you adjust and it starts feeling good you're like "godd, did you get thicker since last time? You feel so fucking big babe🥺😭" and joel almost cums right there hearing you say how big he is 🥵 meanwhile he just laughs and is like "you're too sweet baby. But god you feel so damn tight, I can feel you squeezing my cock, you feel so damn good baby" and bc its been 2 months he's trying his best not to cum in like 5 seconds lol

Joel Miller is a tits man. I mean tbh he loves your tits and your ass, even your tummy and lil toes lol but if he was held at gunpoint and needed to pick one I would think he's a tits man.

He probably went nuts when you were pregnant watching your tits get huge lol, even when sarah's nursing he'll look over and be like "those were mine first little miss, fyi 😠" LOL or he'll always find excuses to stop what he was doing just so he can watch you and look at your tiddies like 😍 😭 men 🙄

Sarah and ellie probably both prefer eating directly from the boob vs bottles lol and whenever it's joels turn to take care of them he tries to give you alone time so you can rest, so when ellie or sarah are hungry and he has to feed them with the bottle and they wrinkle their noses and push his hand away he's like "i know, i'd prefer the real thing too huh babygirl, but you gotta work with me here so mama can get some rest" LMAO

I'm not gonna lie, once you and joel are fully sexually active again after 2 months, since it can be so hard for you to find time together and you also don't wanna leave sarah with someone else yet, when she's dead to the world you probably get a little handsy with each other 😭 you're like, she's only 3 months and she's asleep, she's not gonna be aware of what we're doing 😭. You guys are just too desperate for each other to let that opportunity slide lol. Or sometimes she'll be in her bassinet, her crib, or in her play pen and you and joel will take the baby monitor and go to some part of the house so he can finally rail you 😭

When she's around 3 or 4 and is more independent, you'll have tommy babysit her for a couple of hours at his house or something so you guys can finally get some alone time (thank god for uncle tommy lol) and he knows you two ask him to babysit to give yourselves a little break from running around after her, but also bc he knows yall need some of that alone time lol.

It was hard the first couple of times you had someone else watch sarah (even if its tommy) bc you and joel are such helicopter parents and you're always worried about your lil babygirl lol, but you guys also missed having that time between just the two of you

Joel probably gets a little more handsy with you at home than usual bc with taking care of sarah it's not like you can fuck when you want to, so he just has to settle for giving you more ass grabs and grinding his bulge against your ass like a perv when he hugs you from behind LMAOO

It's not always him that initiates it though, you'll rub your foot up and down his leg sometimes or wiggle your ass on his crotch lol and he'll be like "you think it's funny to tease me like that knowing i can't do anything huh baby? just wait til i get you back for that" but he can never tease you too bad bc he wants you too much and he feels bad sometimes when he makes you beg too much lol

When your milk ducts are clogged you know damn well who's helping you out with them lol. I mean, what can he do it's not like he wants to see his girl in pain 🥺 it's just a bonus that he enjoys helping lol. He's like I ain't no bitch if my girl's in pain imma help her even if it means i have to drink her damn breastmilk lol (not that he even minds it in the first place tho 😭 he basically gets an excuse to suck on your tiddies)

Or sometimes they get so full and sore and you're just like :( "babe my boobs are so sore :(" and joel of course is like 😈 "oh no my poor baby, you want me to hold them for you?" you always say yes lol, and maybe end up fucking oop

It probably turns him on knowing that not only did you carry and grow his baby for 9 months but that even after birth you continue to nurture her from your own body bc women are just amazing like that lol

When Sarah was around 4-5 you guys were full on fucking in the morning and you made the mistake of not locking your door (you were still getting used to having a child living in your house lol) and she ran in bc she wanted to bug you two to ask for breakfast. thank god she doesn't remember it much afterwards (but you and joel do 😳) and you just told her you were having a really big hug before you sent her to her room saying you'd be there in a minute. Poor joel basically went totally soft after that 😭

Other times you'd just make sure she was really focused on playing with her little dolls or watching a movie and you and joel would go to your room to fuck 😭

[kneazle]

So while finally breathing was the first fic I posted for them/911, this here is what my original first was gonna be but it became too big and much in my head and I decided not to finish it, but I thought I'd share what I had written! (Its not much)

A burning smell was the first thing to fill his senses when he slowly opened his eyes, eyelids heavy with what felt like exhaustion but in the back of Tommy's mind he registered the heat from the fire and possibly smoke being the real cause. His head pounded as he turned it to take in where he was. Tommy sucked in a breath taking in the scene only to be stopped short by the sharp pain in his chest and torso. Groaning, he laid back flat on the ground relieving some of the pressure but not solving his shortness of breath.

Tommy's eyes burned for another reason—his mind racing through what he just saw. 

Their helicopter crashed and burning a little ways away. Debris scattered around. Supplies from the helicopter all over. Worst of all, the sight of Lucy just on the other side unconscious with what he thought was a head wound.

He opened his mouth to call out for her, to see if he could wake her, but his body protested along with the lump of panic building in his throat. A feeling that grew as he laid there with pain coursing through his body, unable to move himself no matter how much his mind screamed at him.

get up! you have to move! 

Tommy stared up at the bright blue sky through the trees above. Only the brief sounds of the fire and his labored breathing reaching his ears. His eyes slid shut slowly but he tried his hardest to keep them open. 

stay awake! don't fall asleep!

Sleep. He just wanted to sleep. Pain radiated throughout his body, and for a moment he wondered if all of him was even there. But...what did it matter anyway? Who would mourn Tommy Kinard? Certainly not his parents. The 217 would feel the loss but they would move on soon enough. Hen and Howie would do the same along with Eddie. There were only two people he could think of that would truly mourn him, or so he likes to believe. Lucy—he risked the pain to try to look at her once more praying she was breathing please not her please—and Evan.

Tommy let the rest of his tears fall at the thought of him hearing of his passing. He had to believe Evan would move on eventually too. He had to. They haven't even been together five months, and while Tommy knew he'd be utterly devastated if roles were reversed, he had to hope it wasn't long enough to cause Evan any lasting pain. His eyes closed to the picture of Evan's face. One of the most beautiful people Tommy ever laid eyes on, inside and out. His heart ached to see him one last time, to confess how it was too soon to be falling and yet he was. 

As Tommy felt himself drifting unable to stop it, he couldn't help but think that they weren't even supposed to be on shift today. This was all his fault…

What I was going to write:

One of the other pilots asks Tommy to cover a shift for him with some sob story lie and Lucy is his co-pilot. Said pilot got paid a lot of money by Tommy's ex who used the opportunity to control the situation to his advantage, having messed with the helicopter they were taking out and putting a tracker in it. It crashes and the ex finds them and waits. Lucy wakes up and hears someone and knows they have to get away, she wakes Tommy whos in bad shape but with her help they move. The ex follows. The 118 arrive on scene with Athena and they know it was Tommy, they find the crash along with the tracker, and Athena finds blood leading away from the scene along with three sets of footprints in the dirt. There was only Tommy and Lucy in the helicopter. That makes them try to find them even quicker.

Meanwhile Tommy's ex finds them, they're backed up against a tree while the ex has a gun pointed at Tommy who isn't doing too good only kept up with Lucy's help. The guy cheated on Tommy so he broke it off but the guy is a bit obsessed (aren't we all huh?) and believes if he cant have Tommy no one can. The 118 and Athena arrive and Athena tries to talk the guy down who rambles on about Tommy, no one paying attention to the silent communication between Buck and Eddie. Buck steps forward to get the attention on him, ignoring everyone else, while he does Eddie tackles the ex the second the gun moves away from Tommy to point at Buck, using a move Tommy taught him to wrangle the guy. They all run over while Athena handcuffs him, and Tommy passes out in Buck's arms. Tommy has a long complicated surgery but everything turns out okay and Athena lets everyone know what she found out. It ends with a happy moment with everyone, having used knowing the nurses to their advantage to sneak into Tommy's hospital room that was only allowed two visitors.

[hotcat37]

deaf! Jere x Tommy concept drabble i wrote for @gigshoe <3 (for details, they're in their early 20s here and the setting is in Finland)

Tommy was admittedly already in a pretty cranky mood when he woke up that morning. He's got another day of long unpaid hours for his internship waiting for him. He knows it's a great opportunity and it's the experience that counts but still. Knowing that he's got another two months of hard unpaid work ahead of him isn't exactly motivating.

So when the Estonian feels a gentle tug at his sleeve while waiting for his train, his first instinct is to feel annoyed. He'd been minding his own business staring off into space and hoping no one would bother him. No such luck it seems.

Tommy turns his head towards whoever has disturbed him, not attempting to hide the scowl he knows he has on his face, ready to hit the unsuspecting person with a "I don't speak Finnish." But his eyes meet big blue ones and the brunette momentarily forgets all about his plan. He stares into the winter pale face of a man whose jet black eyebrows furrow together in concern at whatever look is on Tommy's face.

Oh crap. The stranger looks a bit intimidated, fiddling with the yellow phone in his hands, clearly too nervous to say anything now that he's been scowled at. Tommy's eyes involuntarily soften at the sight of the other man. Poor guy. He probably just spend a while working up the courage to approach him and here Tommy is fixing him with his resting bitch face.

"Hello." He greets the guy in English, trying to encourage him with a smile. "What's wrong?"

Big eyes stupidly blink back at Tommy for a second before they redirect their focus to the phone screen. The Estonian raises an eyebrow when the stranger starts to delete and re-type a text but otherwise uses the moment of distraction to get a good look at the man. The guy appears to be around Tommy's age, youthful face flushed slightly with a blush.

Pretty.....

The next thing he notices is the somewhat silly haircut the young adult is sporting. Tommy can admit that he somehow makes it work, though. And even if he didn't, the brunette would appreciate the eccentric hair anyways. Then he spots specks of neon green in between the black and when Tommy squints he realizes that they must be hearing aids. Aha. The man's behavior makes more sense now.

Is this train to Joensuu? Sorry if is a weird question, I never go there 😅

The deaf Finn still looks rather timid and Tommy surprises himself with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to comfort this cute guy. Must be the oversized black coat making him look extra small. As if Tommy could easily scoop him into his arms.

"Yeah, man. It's the third stop. I'm actually going there too." Tommy confirms, hoping it's enough to reassure the other man that there's no need to feel intimidated.

The small Finn seems....weirdly surprised. As if he didn't expect Tommy to actually answer him. Damn. Is his bitch face that bad? How many hot folks has he scared off with just his expression alone without even knowing it?

But then the stranger beams at him with such a sweet smile that Tommy involuntarily mirrors it, feeling his chest buzz with something warm and happy.

Thank you so much!! :D You are going to work in Joensuu?? :0

And where usually Tommy hates random small talk, with this guy he's very much eager to keep the conversation going.

"Eh, kind of?" The Estonian shrugs. "I mean, it is work but I'm not getting paid."

At the concerned frown on the stranger's face, Tommy hurries to clarify.

"It's an internship so-" The man doesn't seem to know that word, cocking his head to the side like a confused dog. "Ah, uhm, so I do work for a company but I'm not getting paid at the moment 'cause I'm not a real employee. It's just for experience, y'know?"

The small Finn makes a little noise as if to say oh. It's the first sound he's made so far and Tommy can't help but soak it up like a sponge. This guy is fucking cute, he can't deny it.

Experience is good yes yes but is shit that you not get money 😢

Tommy quirks a grin at that, amused by the stranger's bluntness. "Yeah, it is shit. But are you getting paid or you a poor intern like me?"

Delicate fingers fly across the keyboard, Tommy very much endeared by the other man's enthusiasm to conversate. He can't remember the last time he's had such a fun interaction with a random person.

I get paid! ^_^ Today is my first day as photo man 📸🔥

For a guy who doesn't speak, he sure is expressive. Tommy is quite enjoying the use of emojis.

"You're a photographer?" At the other man's nod, Tommy beams. "That's so cool!"

For a split second the deaf Finn looks genuinely surprised again, staring back at Tommy with wide eyes, before his lips also split into a wide grin. It's kind of funny how quickly things have progressed between them in less than 10 minutes. Just as Tommy is about to pipe up and say more, a distant honk alerts him that their ride is headed towards them.

"Train is here." The Estonian informs as he points to somewhere behind the guy.

The man turns his head, just for a second, and Tommy is painfully aware of how he immediately misses having those big blue eyes focused on him. There's just something about this stranger that draws him in.

The Finn in question seems oblivious, turning to face Tommy with that infectious smile of his.

Let's go!! 🏃💨

He dutifully follows after the shorter man as they head towards the train. People are steadily streaming into the wagons and Tommy tries not to smile when he feels the stranger press against him to avoid being shoved in all directions. The Estonian spots an open seat in the back and doesn't hesitate to sit down. His companion does seem a little unsure, though, likely wondering if it's okay to sit next to Tommy. If their interaction was just a one time thing.

The brunette pats the seat beside him with an inviting smile and it's enough to get the Finn to finally move.

Their shoulders brush against each other and it's rather surprising that Tommy doesn't immediately feel the urge to pull away like he always does whenever he has even the slightest physical contact with a stranger. With this guy it's very much welcome.

"Hey, what's your name?" Tommy gently nudges the smaller man by extending his hand once the chattering on the train has settled down. "I'm Tommy."

The stranger seems quite relieved by Tommy's introduction, eyebrows knitting together into a hopeful expression. He types something at lightning speed, holding up his phone so Tommy can read the message with one hand while the other takes the hand extended towards him. Very soft, the Estonian notes.

I'm Jere! :D

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Do you think that after DADT Ron would take Chris as his plus one to like Navy balls and take him and Jake to family day on base and stuff like that? Cause all I can picture is big tough admiral Ron being accompanied by a slightly feral blonde who takes no shit from military people

Oh he absolutely would.

He takes any opportunity to show his husband and kid off. He brought Jake around when he was little because he looked enough like Ron that no one would ever question anything.

That being said here’s the first time since DADT is repealed that he gets to take Chris to something super fancy.

————

Chris is leaning against the bar, he’s playing with his engagement ring. Chris can’t help but be nervous. He knows Ron doesn’t care what people think. He knows that. Ron has never cared. Would’ve been holding Chris’s hand the entire time if he could’ve safely.

It’s been two months since DADT can’t hurt them anymore.

Apparently Tom had kissed Mav in the middle of the pentagon.

Chris called Jake crying. Ron came home and asked him to put his gold ring back on his hand.

Chris feels a hand slide across the bottom of his back, “baby come on. I wanna show you off.” Chris turns, he takes Ron’s hand, “you sure?” Ron glances around, he bends and kisses Chris. There’s a few quiet gasps.

Chris squeezes Ron’s hand. He pulls away before Ron keeps kissing him to prove a point. “Okay. I’ll be your trophy wife.”

Ron laughs. He kisses Chris’s cheek, “baby you’re the best trophy I’ve ever won.” “I’m telling Tom that.” “Go ahead he knows his place in this relationship.”

-

“Ah Admiral Lawrence, lovely to see you again, let me introduce my fiancé Chris.”

Chris grins when he sees the man’s smile drop a little. “I’ve heard so much it’s great to put a face to the name Mr Lawrence.”

He can see Ron’s grin starting up from the ‘Mr’ Chris knows damn well he’s supposed to use titles. He doesn’t call anyone their titles besides Tommy and Ron.

“Can’t say the same for you Mr..?”

“Seresin.”

The man blinks. “As in Jake Hangman Seresin?”

Ron smiles, “ah Mike you should now, know that’s our son. We can’t be more proud.”

Chris grins and slides his arms around Ron’s waist, he blinks up at him. “Baby I wanna find Tom and Mav.”

Mike stares at them. “I’m really not sure this is appropriate behavior sir.” Chris slowly turns to look at him, he looks the man up and down. “I saw your wife basically hump your leg earlier I don’t want to hear it from you.”

Ron laughs. He can’t help it. These are about to be so much more entertaining now that Chris can come with him. “Watch yourself admiral, I don’t like that tone with my fiancé.”

Ron pulls Chris away before he can say anything else to the man.

“You’re evil god I love you.”

Chris grins, “I can’t wait to get you out of that suit, you’re killing me baby.”

They’re over by the bar when Tom and Mav find them. “Chris! You look fabulous at one of these things!”

Chris hugs Mav, “can’t believe we actually get to watch our fiancés.”

A photographer comes over to them, “sir’s? May I take your photo with your partners?” Tom smiles at the girl. “Sure, want us just standing here or the highlight of the night?”

She blinks at him, “whatever you want?”

Tom pulls Mav over and kisses him, Ron grins and pulls Chris to him. They hear the flash go off. “Thank you all so much I hope you are very happy.”

“Thank you so much, can you have those send to their office?” She blushes at Chris, “of course sir.”

Ron leans over and says something to Tom, it causes the man to grin. “Come on boys let’s get outta here. We’re going to dinner and then home.”

They’ve danced plenty and talked to all the important people that’s required. They’re gonna go out, get some dinner then split up to their respective houses. The four of them might be close but they aren’t quite foursome close.

[peninkwrites]

Lines Drawn in Sand & Concrete - Ch 3 of ?

Wilbur and Tommy go underground. Wilbur remains unemployed, Tommy is extra homeless.

[CW: violence, injuries]

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 2

Ch 4

Mafia AU

~ Wilbur & Tommy ~

Wilbur made plans when he returned to the city, and the past two months have yielded nothing.  He’d never intended on abusing Niki’s hospitality, but he hadn’t expected this to take so long.  Tommy has stuck around, to Wilbur’s surprise.  So he’s at least had company on his petty escapades to catch some negative attention.  They’ve continued tagging up the city, much to the bafflement of local law enforcement according to some friend of Tommy’s.

Tommy hasn’t turned up yet today.  Sometimes he’d be waiting outside the bakery, other times he’d just somehow track Wilbur down, but nothing yet.  Then again, Wilbur has strayed from their usual haunts, which was just creeping dangerously into Badlands territory at every opportunity.

Wilbur has a destination in mind.

He knows the path well.  This area is now, or formally had been, Schlatt’s territory, but Wilbur had known it as something different.  This patch of old townhouses had been the heart of the Artic Empire.  It doesn’t look like much of anything now.  Wilbur spares a glance at a wall of brick he knows used to be an entrance into the subway, and looks for something familiar.  The diner he got pancakes at as a child is gone, gone for a while by the looks of it, the corner store is still there, of course, but staffed by someone different to the sweet old lady he’d buy cigarettes from, even as she scolded him for it.  Wilbur feels a painful nostalgia that he doesn’t understand.  He’d tried to get away from all this for a reason.

That reason had largely been because of the Empire itself, because of his dad.

Wilbur stops in front of his old home and laughs.  The dark green victorian Wilbur had spent most of his childhood has definitely seen better days, and has seemingly been cut up into apartments, from the four rusty mailboxes now nailed beside the front door.

“Fucking typical, bet you would hate this, dad,” Wilbur mutters.  “You put a lot of work renovating this shithole, and they’ve gone and probably gutted the place.”  He scans the windows, but most of the shades are drawn, probably against weirdos like him staring in.  It looks like the new owners nailed shut the window into his bedroom, probably because they, like Wilbur, had realized it led right onto the porch roof and was a perfect spot to climb down the lattice.  Landlords probably saw it as a liability, just like his dad did when he finally figured it out, but by then it was too late to try to fix it.  Too late for a lot of things.

“It’s not… it’s not working,” Wilbur continues softly, he doesn’t know if he’s trying to talk to the old house, or if he knows there’s no audience that could understand.  “By now, I thought considering what a mess this place has gotten to be, I would’ve… I would’ve found the right sort of trouble.”

There is no reply, and Wilbur realizes with an uneasy feeling in his gut that in that silence, he’d almost been hoping for an abrupt, annoying reply from Tommy.  He cannot get attached to that kid, and he has to hope Tommy won’t make the same mistake either.  He remains staring up at that house.  He wonders if the current tenants know how many people died in there, how many abandoned kids were brought there to be kept safe, what a strange way of growing up it had been for those two things to coexist, not beside one another, but certainly just in the next room over.

Wilbur doesn’t know what he’s looking for.  He rummages in his pocket for a cigarette.  He’s running out, he’s also running out of money.  He’d earned a bit of cash playing for tips at the Secret City, but certainly not enough to live on.  Wilbur heads toward the river, knowing Tommy likes to pickpocket there.  Wilbur has taken to stashing paint cans behind the dumpster in the alley behind the bakery, but he doesn’t have any on him.  Not that now would be a great time to start tagging up the place, it won’t be dark out for a few hours more, but it’s all he’s really been doing lately.  That, and smoking.

“I can’t believe you still don’t realize it.  You’re such a self absorbed prick,” Tommy appears beside him, holding his wallet.

“Hey!” Wilbur jumps, reaching out to snatch it back.  “It’s not self absorbed to not be on the lookout for a bloody pickpocket 24/7.”  Tommy ducks out of the way.

“You gotta be more aware, man, I mean look at you, you’re easy pickings.  Gotta develop some healthy paranoia, ‘cause people will be after ya!  Gonna smell weakness like blood in the water,” Tommy nods wisely, jogging backwards just out of reach.

“Look at me?” Wilbur blusters.  “What about you?  You’re a string bean with zero caution and it shows.”

“Yeah, true, but you’re not counting the fuckin’ look in my eyes, eh?” Tommy stares at him intently.  “They can all tell I’m fucking crazy, and I’ll wreck their shit like a rabid dog if they try to fuck with me!” Tommy puffs his chest out, strolling further away, waving his wallet.

“Oi!  Give that back,” Wilbur finally grabs it, largely because Tommy lets him.  “How did you even get– Why do I even fucking ask.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why I fucking bother, you’re a poor ass bitch,” Tommy scoffs.  Wilbur now notices that the kid’s fingers are wrapped, poorly, in bloody bandages.

“What’d you do to your hands?”

“What?” Tommy is defensive in an instant.  “None of your business.  I can still snatch your wallet.”

“No, but really, how the fuck did you manage to… what, get papercuts on ever finger?” Wilbur grabs Tommy’s wrist lightly, turning it over so he can look at the injuries, worry furrowing his brow at the bloodied white cloth tied around the kid’s palm.  Tommy slaps him away.

“Oi!  If you have to know, these new battle wounds are from the lovely Blazeborne Hotel,” Tommy says bitterly, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “It’s all Jack Manifold’s fault.  He left and the guy they replaced him with is a right dickhead.”

“What–” Wilbur is baffled and horrified.  “He did that to you?!  That’s fucking insane, how did–”

“He didn’t hold me down and do it with a knife, dumbass!” Tommy snaps.  “He…” Tommy almost seems embarrassed.  “He’s got razors stuck under the windows now.  So I’d cut me hands goin’ in.  I didn’t notice.  Normally I notice everything, he– He just took me by surprise, is all.”

“Razors?” Wilbur is still indignant on his behalf.  “Because– Wait, so the staff know some homeless kid sneaks into the rooms and the guy’s solution was to cut your hands up?  That’s… that’s insane.”

“It’s war, dearest little Wilbur,” Tommy remains pompous.  “I’ve been fighting with the Blazeborne Hotel for ages now, they’re just amped up their arsenal now that Jack Manifold deserted.  Nothing I can’t handle,” he swaggers forward.

“You– You shouldn’t have to handle any of this shit.  You should take Niki’s couch!  You’ve got a right to it more than me.”

Tommy gives him a scathing look.  “Obviously, but I don’t want to take Niki’s couch.  I’ve figured out the razorblades, I can work around ‘em.  I’d rather have a bed of my own than exploit Niki’s hospitality like a schmuck like you.”

“Uncalled for,” Wilbur mutters.  “Still, that’s–”

Tommy cuts him off.  “I can handle myself.  Not as weak and feeble as you are.  And you’re gonna make yourself even feebler if you keep smoking those fucking things,” Tommy’s lip curls in disgust at the smell of the cigarette.

Wilbur, irritably, puts it out on the bottom of his shoe shoving it back in his pocket. Tommy keeps moving, striding down the street, shouldering past a man who Wilbur is pretty sure just lost his watch, and from the way Tommy has started walking faster, Wilbur is all the more sure.  Wilbur almost has to jog to catch up.

“Where are you going?” Wilbur asks.

“Um, I’m a man of the streets?  So, wherever I like?  What’re you wandering about for, Soot?  Lazy layabout that you are,” Tommy tuts him.

“I was just–” Wilbur laughs half under his breath, rolling his eyes.  He should be used to Tommy by now, but he still somehow finds the kid baffling as he is irritatingly endearing.  “Nothing.  Just… seeing the sights.”

“Have you not already done that?  We’ve seen all sorts of shit in our escapades,” Tommy says pointedly.

“Yeah, just…” Wilbur trails off.  He’s not going to get into this with Tommy, but he does have another step to take.  “D’you remember when you were talking about the old subway lines?”

Tommy stops, turning to look at him with a frown.  “Er, yeah?  Why?”

“Well, you said you knew a spot down there, an old grate or something, that wasn’t bricked up, right?” Wilbur asks.

Tommy nods.  “Yeah, but it’s fucking dark as shit down there.  Probably structurally un-sound,” he enunciates each syllable.  “You’d only be asking if you were planning on going down there, though, so, what’re you trying to do?” Tommy stares at him with narrowed eyes, suspicious.

Wilbur smiles.  “It’s like I said, see the sights.”

“Trust me, bub, back in your day that place was way different, it’s been sitting empty down there for years,” Tommy says again.

“Just show me the grate, alright?  I’m not asking you to go down there,” Wilbur scoffs.

Tommy looks offended.  “You think I’m gonna let a little lad like you go down there all by your lonesome?  The rats will eat your fuckin’ eyes, I tell you!”  He leans forward, as if to poke Wilbur in the eye, Wilbur swatting him away.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t go down there!  Aren’t you claustrophobic or something?” Wilbur huffs irritably.

“Yeah, but I’m a big man, not gonna let something as silly as fear stop me,” even as Tommy says this, he’s far from enthusiastic.  “But it’s– It’ll be crazy dark down there, alright?  Pitch-fucking-black.  You won’t be able to check anything out blind,” for a moment Tommy looks hopeful, like he thinks this settles the matter.

Wilbur rummages around in his many pockets, pulling out a torch.  “I’ve only got the one, though, so again, you don’t have to come.”

Tommy scowls.  “I’ll get myself a fucking torch,” he mutters, marching off down the street.

“Where?!” Wilbur follows.

“Shop.  This time you distract the clerk, alright?  I’ll do the thievery-ing.”

Tommy’s expedition yields mixed results, as he managed to get ahold of a flashlight, but discovers it doesn’t have batteries in it.

“Oh, that’s bullshit,” Tommy grumbles, having half a mind to throw the thing away. 

“Yeah, pretty sure you have to buy– sorry, steal those separate,” Wilbur teases.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to steal shit when your fingers are shredded?!” Tommy whines.  “This is unjust!”

“What, do you want me to tell the shop to stock batteries with them because the little rat bastard with bandages on his hands deserves an easier time taking them?”

“Yes,” Tommy says sharply.  Wilbur just laughs at him.  “Fine, we’ll go with just yours, then,” Tommy shoves it into his pocket.  “I don’t even know if the grate goes into the subway tunnels, alright?  Could be… could be some other tunnel system running underneath the city which you might have no desire to go into, eh?”

“Right, sure,” Wilbur gives him a look.  “Lead the way, then, Tommy, to this mysterious tunnel system under the city,” he says sarcastically.

Tommy gives him a resentful look before heading off at a quick walk.  He knows this city too well.  Wilbur watches the street signs, trying to track if he can tell which station they might be going to, but it’s been too long.  Wilbur remembers where a few stations were.  He sort of wants to find some of particular significance to him, but getting down there at all is the first task.

“And you’re sure it’s not a storm drain?” Wilbur asks.

“I know what a fucking storm drain looks––and smells like,” Tommy snaps.

He’s scanning the wall of bricks now.  Tommy stops, crouching down beside a locked grate down the street from a bricked up entrance.  It’s half a foot above street level, so it’s definitely not a drainage grate.  Tommy squints down into the dark.

“This might help,” Wilbur shines his torch down into the dark.  He frowns.  “It’s just… metal.  It’s a vent.”

“Yeah, it’s for ventilating shit,” Tommy says.  “Did you think it would be a staircase laid out with a fuckin’ red carpet?”

“Well, how do I know if I’ll even fit?  Or where it lets out at?” Wilbur is starting to get nervous.

Tommy looks smug.  “Well, only way to find out is to get down in there, bitch boy.”

“Fuck,” Wilbur mutters.  This isn’t exactly how he wants to die, but he wants to see it.  “This is the stupidest thing I’ve done in a long time.”

Tommy hums in agreement.  “There’s little metal rungs though, that’s something.  You’re less likely to die down there.”

“Hey,” Wilbur bumps his shoulder.  “We’re less likely to die down there.”

“Dickhead.”

Wilbur sets down the torch, grabbing the edges of the rusted metal.  It crumbles far too easily in his hands, he’s flung backwards onto the sidewalk, Tommy cackles.

Wilbur gets to his feet, unsteady and annoyed.  “Stop laughing or you’re going down first.”

“No way in hell!” Tommy snaps.  “I gotta wait and count how long it takes for you to hit the bottom.”

Wilbur sighs, grimacing.  He’d hoped his self destructive patterns would’ve been a bit more convenient.  Wilbur ducks down, there’s a ladder, so it’s meant for people to fit in it, but Wilbur is incredibly tall.  He manages to not hit his head, the rungs of the ladder are slimy and coated in rust.  He stops, staring down into the dark.  He begins to descend, before stopping again.

“Oi!  Tommy!”

“Ye– Yeah?!” Tommy pokes his head in, merely a shadowed outline from the light outside.

“If… if the ladder breaks and I get stuck down here, go find Niki.”

“...she’ll kill you.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be a lot quicker than dying down here!”

“Touché.”

Wilbur keeps climbing down into the dark, he hears the echo of water dripping somewhere, one of the rungs makes a horrible creaking sound, but nothing breaks.  He nears the end when his next step is met by the hollow clang! of metal.  He gives it a sharp kick, and the next grate breaks and hits the concrete loudly.  Soon after, Wilbur’s boot crunches down into the narrow passage along the side of the tunnel.

“I’m still alive!” Wilbur calls up to Tommy and winces as his voice echoes down the tunnel.  He turns on the torch, it’s a poor attempt to beat back the dark.  It smells like mildew and metal down here, stale air left to putrify for years.  “Smells rank, though.”

“So do you!” Tommy says, voice much closer now as he climbs down as well, muttering ow all the while as the ladder rungs are unforgiving on his hands.  Finally, he hits the bottom, hopping beside Wilbur and shaking out his injured hands.  “Oh, this isn't so bad.  The tunnels are fuckin’ massive!”

“Really?  That was your biggest problem with coming down here?”

“Told you I was claustrophobic!”

“Right,” Wilbur rolls his eyes, peering ahead.  He tries to orient himself based on the streets above, he’s pretty sure the next station should be just ahead.  He starts walking, Tommy sticking close beside him.

“Bet there are rats down here.”

“Yeah, probably?”

“Bet there are rats the size of dogs.  Eat your fuckin’ face off.”

“The size of–?  Right, sure.  Dog rats.”

“You can doubt me, but I won’t save you from the rat king.”

Wilbur laughs at him.  “Shut up, you’re ridiculous.”

“How dare you tell me to shut up!” Tommy is about to make a fuss when he stops, Wilbur’s torch outlining the subway platform.  “Whoa, cool.”  He runs ahead, clambering up onto the platform.  “Oi!  Keep the light over here!”

“Well, don’t run ahead!”  Wilbur follows after him, scanning the area.  “This one used to let up onto 11th.”

“Did any of ‘em go under the river?”

“What?  No, there were rails that went over it, like the bridges.  I think they might’ve gotten torn down when they bricked things off, though,” Wilbur scans the row of outdated advertisements peeling off the walls, finding a map showing the different tracks of the metro.  The station he’d been looking for is a ways off, and Wilbur doesn’t exactly feel like their first expedition should risk wandering so far into the dark.

“Oh, yeah.  There’s like, concrete posts left.  I’ve tried hopping across ‘em when the water is low.  Got a big scrape on my leg from it.”  Tommy scuffs his feet, kicking a chunk of loose concrete across the platform, the rock skidding loudly.  “We should’ve brought breadcrumbs or whatever the fuck.”

Wilbur laughs, “right, we’ve traveled ten yards, are you really gonna get lost?”

“I dunno,” Tommy shrugs.  “It would help if I could see.”

“I bet it would.”  Wilbur knows there’s nothing of note here, for the hell of it he wanders up the steps, only to be met by a wall of bricks.  He turns back, hopping back down onto the tracks.  “Come on.”

“In a rush?  Worried you’re gonna miss your train?” Tommy teases him.

“Nah, I just don’t see a point in staring at nothing.”

“It’s just gonna be more of this, bub.  Dunno what you think you’re gonna find down here.”

“Fine, you can just stay here, then.”

“No, no wait for me!” Tommy hurries to catch up.  He clears his throat and pretends he’s not jumpy.  “You’ll get lost without me, and that’s when the rats’ll get ya.”

“How kind of you to protect me.”

“Yeah, that’s right.  I’m Tommy Innit, protector of stupid bitches with torches.”

“You’re really still caught up on the torch thing, are you–?” Wilbur cuts himself off with a scream, jumping as a large, gray rat runs between his legs, not dog-sized by any means, but fucking huge.

“What?!” Tommy jumps, grabbing onto Wilbur’s sleeve.

“N-Nothing,” Wilbur tries to pull himself together.  “It was– Just a rat, just startled me, is all.”

Tommy cackles.  “What’re you screamin’ about?  We came into his house!”

Wilbur glares a him, even if Tommy can’t see it as he’s behind the torchlight.  Tommy bounces back on his heels, antsy now.

“Can I hold the torch?”

“No!”

“Come on, man, please!” Tommy whines.

“Should’ve brought your own!”

“I tried to–”

“Don’t try and grab it–”

From somewhere in the tunnels, back the way they had come, they hear metal sharply clanging together, they freeze, neither of them daring to breathe.  Wilbur looks straight ahead, the torch shining up between them, met with Tommy’s wide, scared eyes staring back.  There’s another clang! as if someone were banging against the metal pipes running along the walls, the echo dies and there is once more silence save for the sound of Tommy’s shaky breathing.

All it takes is one more consistent thud and Wilbur and Tommy are sprinting the other direction, Tommy holding tightly onto Wilbur’s coat, the torch light swinging erratically from Wilbur’s hand as he runs, but their exit is thirty yards the opposite way.

“Stop stop!” Tommy yanks Wilbur back as in the flash of the swinging torch he sees a door.  “Look!”

“There’s no fucking way it’ll open, Tommy–”

Tommy runs up to it anyway, giving it a desperate tug.  “Ha!” Tommy says breathlessly as the door swings open easily, revealing a stairwell.

“Wait up!” Wilbur hurries after him, not wanting to be left alone.  Tommy scrambles up the steps, Wilbur struggling to keep up, before barreling through another door at the top of the stairs, and the two of them find themselves out of breath in some alleyway, the door swinging shut behind them, a sign painted on it which reads DANGER: MAINTENANCE ONLY over a rusted through lock, which at first glance appears secure.

“Oh, we are the luckiest bastards alive,” Tommy collapses against the wall, a hand over his racing heart.  Wilbur thinks he might puke.  He hasn’t run that fast in a long time.  “What the fuck d’you suppose that was?”

Back in the light, reason returns to him, Wilbur takes a few more deep breaths.  “P-Probably old metal settling, or something from up on the street, maybe.  Who knows.  Old shit like that… m-makes noises.”

Tommy gives him a scathing look.  “You’re full of shit.”

“What do you think it was?” Wilbur says dryly.  “A monster?”

“Prick,” Tommy gives him a halfhearted shove, but he too feels less afraid now that he’s back in the sun.  “Come on, let’s get out of here.”  He heads for the main street.

“You done adventuring for the night?” Wilbur follows more slowly.

“Not necessarily, but I’m fucking done being underground for the night,” Tommy says.  “Wanna steal some food and tag up some Badlands shit?”

Wilbur gives him an exasperated and weary look.  “Sure, why not.”

Wilbur isn’t sure what his goal had been in going down there, but it certainly wasn’t accomplished.  The rest of the evening is spent far more typically for them until it’s late, approaching midnight at least, but they’re still spraypainting the front windows of some diner near the docks.  Wilbur has gotten more elaborate, not merely writing the words crime boys but making the letters sharp and jagged or block-y and 3D.  Tommy tends to paint symbols or threats, but today he’s more just chatting, kicking garbage around the alley.  It hurts his hands to hold down the nozzle to spray the paint.

“Shit,” Tommy mutters, ducking back into a side street, motioning for Wilbur to follow.

Wilbur turns around, spotting a group of men coming down the adjacent street.  The only party traveling the streets this late and that boldly had to be Badlanders.  Wilbur drops his spraypaint, the can clattering loudly onto the pavement, and takes a few steps forward, intending on crossing over onto the street where the patrol is soon going to turn.

“Wilbur?!” Tommy whispers sharply, close behind.  “What’re you–”

“No, you stay back there, Tommy,” Wilbur says offhandedly.

He can hear their voices from here, he doesn’t know if they’ll turn down this street, but they’re certainly going to cross the intersection soon.  He gets one foot out into the road, and then Tommy is clawing at him, hissing and dragging him back into the alley.

“The fuck are you doing?!” Tommy is tugging on his arm with all his bodyweight.  Wilbur could keep resisting, but he doesn’t want to drag the kid into the line of fire.  Tommy punches his arm hard.  “Are you trying to get yourself fucking shredded to ribbons?!”

“What?” Wilbur looks over at him, as if coming out of a daze.

“Shush!” Tommy clamps a grubby hand over Wilbur’s mouth as the voices get closer.  Wilbur almost protests, but he tastes blood the moment he tries to speak and immediately decides to keep his mouth shut.  Tommy has torn his hands back open scrabbling with Wilbur, but he still holds on tight.  The men do not turn, they keep walking.  Tommy stays quiet and refuses to let Wilbur move until their voices fade, once relatively sure the men are gone, he feels free to let go to berate and hit Wilbur incessantly.  “You’re a fucking moron!” He says, punching Wilbur in the arm, shoving him back before shaking his hand out and hissing at the burn, blood still seeping through his sorry excuse for a bandage.  “You wanna get yourself turned to swiss cheese, do it when I’m not around, alright?  You piece of shit!” Tommy snarls, but he’s breathing heavily, cheeks flushed and eyes wide with ill buried horror.

“They… they wouldn’t have just open fired.  Badlands are more cautious than that,” Wilbur doesn’t know why he feels like he’s just lost something, like an opportunity has passed him by, he leans back out into the street, but it’s deserted.

“Yeah, maybe they used to be!  But lately they’ve been fuckin’ willy-nilly all over the place, killing all sorts!” Tommy huffs.  “You’re– If you want to get yourself killed so bad, find a tall building!  Alone.  I’m not dragging your body to a hospital!”

Wilbur doesn’t reply.  He doesn’t know how literal Tommy is being.  “I think we’ve done enough tagging for the night.  We should… We should go.”

“Yeah!  Yeah, obviously we should fucking go, dickhead!” Tommy gives him one last shove, using his elbow instead of his injured hands, grabbing the paint cans, throwing one at Wilbur’s head, shoving the other in his pocket.  Wilbur catches it just before it hits his face, oddly bemused by Tommy’s anger.

“You could’ve stayed back in the alley,” Wilbur says teasingly.

“I could’ve–” Tommy stops storming off and turns on him again, pulling himself up to his full height, standing up straight for once to stare him down.  “You’re goddamn right I could’ve!  I could’ve let you– Fucking hell, man, you’re just– You’re not funny!  Alright?!” Tommy settles on that last jab, letting out an irritated growl and resuming his walk.  “Good fucking night, Wilbur Soot!  Go be Niki and Ranboo’s problem!”

“Hold on!  Wait, Tommy, your hands– Come with me to Niki’s!  I can… I can wrap them or something–” Wilbur tries to call after him, but Tommy is good at disappearing and in a moment Wilbur is alone.

Wilbur turns around, wondering what direction the Badlands patrol had disappeared to.  It’s not worth it, not tonight.  He glances back in the direction Tommy had ran off.  Not yet.  He’s actually surprised by how pissed off it made Tommy, was the kid that convinced he would get into trouble as well?  It doesn’t cross Wilbur’s mind that maybe the kid was just scared for him.

Tommy wasn’t entirely wrong in him being Ranboo and Niki’s problem for the rest of the night.  He returns to their flat late, and as such, he unlocks the front door, makes it two feet inside, and Niki’s bedroom door swings open and in one hand she’s attempting to raise a shotgun.

“Oh my god, Wil, you–” Niki lowers it in sleepy irritation.  “You can’t keep doing that!”

Wilbur lowers his raised hands.  “What?  Come in?  I assumed you gave me a key so you wouldn’t have to keep waking up like this.”

“Well, maybe if you were quieter,” Niki says grumpily.  She glances at Ranboo’s closed door, her brother seemingly undisturbed.  “Maybe I’m just…”

“Hypervigilant?”

She glares at him.  “A light sleeper.”  She gives him a once over, lips pursing disapprovingly at his paint-stained fingers.  “You know I love you, Wilbur, and I like having you around, but you can’t live on my couch forever.”

Wilbur’s shoulders hunch inward.  “I– I know.  I truly am sorry, Niki, I wasn’t supposed to burden you this long.”

“I mean, burden is a bit strong, but yeah, the point stands.  And, well, have you been looking for jobs?  Or apartments?”

Wilbur wishes he could make himself smaller.  “No, I haven’t, really, I meant more like–” he hesitates.  “More like… I thought I’d be done being… here.  Um, in the city, by now.”

Niki is tired and puzzled.  “Right.  I’m going back to bed.  We can talk tomorrow.  You should… you should play at the Secret City more, for a start to make money.”

Wilbur smiles weakly as she shuffles back into her room.  “I’d like that.”

“And get a job!”

“I’d like that less.”

~

Tommy is still shaken and pissed off when he stares up at the bottom ladder of the fire escape into the Blazeborne hotel.  He stares ruefully at his hands, the strips of sheets he’d torn up from the hotel room are now utterly soaked red, and he still has to climb the ladder.  On his right hand, it’s mostly a cut across his palm, it’s his left that has a cut across all four fingers.  He cannot figure out a way to climb the ladder without putting pressure on them.  He winces, and clambers up the ladder, muttering vicious swears as the cold metal makes the cuts sting even further.  His other irritation for the night still lingers in the back of his mind.  He knew Wilbur was stupid, but my god that was excessive.  He doesn’t understand that man.  Tommy cannot comprehend why he would’ve been standing out there in the open like he was waiting for the Badlanders to spot him.  He’s a fucking idiot.  Tommy has seen enough people get shot dead in front of him, thank you very much.  He’d prefer it not happen again with someone he actually knows and likes.  Tommy glances in at the first window off the fire escape, pleasantly surprised to see the room unoccupied.  It makes his trip easier.  He’s figured out these locks as well, it takes a bit more fiddling with his knife, but then voila! he can get in just as easily.

Once that is done, Tommy is much more cautious, lifting the window using pressure on the glass, his sleeves covering his cut up hands. Tommy delicately steps into the room, scanning the floor half expecting to see glass.  He sees a note taped to the window sill reading:

Guests: Please do not open the window, the latch is currently broken.  We are sorry for any inconvenience.

“Broken my ass…” Tommy mutters bitterly.  He’s paranoid now, and he’s probably right to be.  He flicks on a lamp, lifting the sheets, leaning forward and taking a deep breath, looking for the scent of some harmful irritant put on the sheets or something similar.  Other than the razorblades, thus far this conflict has been joined by mouse traps on the floor or under the bedding, broken glass on the ground in front of the window, the bleaching powder they use to clean the bathrooms being stuck between the sheets, and a few ominous notes warning him that soon they would stop messing around.  Tommy didn’t care much about that.  Whatever obstacles they try, he’ll work around them.  If Jack Manifold couldn’t annoy him out of this hotel, Tommy will be damned if he’s stopped by a little pain.  All of their attempts had to be easily manageable for when a guest actually needed a room, so as long as Tommy tread carefully, it’s not like they could gas him out.

Tommy bolts the door, the only lock the hotel can’t simply open from the other side is a little chain, but it’s all he has.  Next he cautiously approaches the bathroom, flicking on the light, but no threats make themselves known.  He steals a white pillowcase off of one of the pillows, assessing it carefully for sabotage or chemical warfare.  Once satisfied, he returns to the bathroom, hands somewhat shaky as he peels off the bloodied bandages.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck–” Tommy mutters furiously under his breath, running over the new blood with cool water before dabbing it with a white washcloth until the bleeding slows.  If these bastards were going to cut him open, he’s going to leave all their white fucking linen bloodstained.  His hands are still shaky as he holds the pillowcase and rips away strips of it with his teeth.  His eyes are watering, which only pisses him off more.  Whatever scabbing had begun to form in the past 24 hours has been destroyed by his activities of the day, some of that being hanging out with Wilbur, more of it being stealing shit to live.  Tommy does his best to tightly tie the cloth around his injuries.  He doesn’t know how these cuts are going to heal if he has to work with his hands every day.  If they get infected he’s fucked.

Tommy is always careful.  He leaves the window open, sleeps as close to it as he can, with all of his things on his person, so he can make a hasty exit.  He rarely showers here, if he does wedging the door shut with a chair, but these are unique circumstances.  He’s been forced to camp out in the bathroom, the door open to the rest of the room, the light on, and the front door latched but unbarred.

As such, when someone tries to open the door to get in, he’s a bit thrown off.

Tommy flinches at the thud of the chain pulled taut, but he’s always ready to run, so he abandons his make-shift first aid and bolts for the window.  He makes it into the main room in time for the chain to shatter from the man throwing his weight against it.  Tommy doesn’t make it to the window, the man grabbing the collar of his jacket and choking him back.

Tommy’s panic swiftly turns to outrage.  He is not abandoning his coat, so instead of doing the easy thing and slipping out of his sleeves, he shoves himself backwards until the man hits the wall, startled enough to let go, but before Tommy can bolt for the window again, the man wraps his arm around his neck.  Panic returns.

“You’re not getting away from me!” He snarls.  “You’re fucking lucky I’m calling the cops–” He’s cut off with a yelp as Tommy bites down on his arm as hard as he can.

Tommy jumps back, hopping up onto the bed when there’s a flash of metal swung down in front of him.  “You’ve got a fucking golf club?!  I’m like twelve!”

The man is shorter than him, but way bigger, cheeks flushed and livid, and yes, he does have a golf club.  “You definitely fucking aren’t!” He snaps.

They’re for a moment frozen, Tommy crouched on top of the bed, unsure if it’s better to bolt for the open door or for the window, the man is directly across from him, clearly waiting for him to try something.  Tommy takes one step toward the right side of the bed, balanced tenuously on the mattress, the man follows, golf club at the ready, but Tommy doesn’t jump down, he picks up the lamp from the bedside table.

“You wouldn’t dare.  I have legal grounds, you are breaking and entering!”

“Oi! I think you’ve done the only breaking so far!” Tommy nods to the broken chain on the door.

“Be glad it wasn’t your fucking head!”

“Come on, man!  I’m just a kid!” Tommy gives him the most pathetic look he can manage.  “You’re really gonna hit a kid?”

Tommy throws the lamp a second too late.  He’s only lucky in that the man did not swing at him with a golf club, instead his fist nails Tommy in the jaw, sending him toppling off the bed, the lamp shattering against the wall behind the fuming hotel porter.  Tommy’s jaw aches, he feels dizzy, but he’s jolted back into focus by the man dragging him back by his ankle.  Tommy snarls, twisting around so he can kick the man in the gut.

Instead, he kicks the man a bit lower.  He lets go.

Tommy scrambles for the nearest exit, the door, only to be once more dragged back, hitting his head against the wall as the man presses his forearm to his throat, pinning him back.

“Stop struggling!  I’m not gonna kill you!”

“As if,” Tommy snaps.  “You’re gonna turn me over to the pigs, you fucking rat-faced bootlicker–”  Tommy is silenced by the man’s fist nailing him in the face.  “Ow!” Tommy whines, already knowing he’s going to end up with a black eye.  His heart is racing as he tries to yank the man’s arm away from his throat, but his struggling is no longer yielding results.  He looks around frantically, as if hoping for another lamp, none appears.  “Right,” Tommy rapidly searches his pockets.  He comes up with two things.  His multitool, which he knows has a knife that’s not exactly intimidating, and a canister.  “Hate to do this, well, not really, but–” The man screams and drops him as he gets a faceful of black spraypaint, staggering back and blocking Tommy’s exit out the door.

Tommy runs for the window, clambering through and swearing again as a razorblade knicks his ear, but by the time the man has stumbled blindly over to the window, Tommy is fumbling down the ladder, his injured hands slipping so halfway down he falls the eight feet back to the street, ankles twinging painfully, but he has no time to evaluate his injuries, he can hear police sirens.  Tommy runs until he can’t breathe, until he can no longer hear sirens, until he realizes that he has nowhere to run to.  At least winter has faded, the chill dulling enough that nights outside are tolerable, but definitely not comfortable.  Tommy tries to get his bearings.  He’s in Schlatt’s– Tubbo’s territory.  He can find somewhere to hunker down here, first he needs to catch his breath.  Tommy ducks behind a dumpster, leaning heavily against the bricks.  Everything fucking hurts, his face hurts, his legs hurt, his hands hurt, and Tommy is furiously forced to accept that the Blazeborne Hotel is not an option for him anymore.

“What do you know, Tommyinnit?  You’re… You’re more homeless than you were before…” He laughs hoarsely, sliding to the ground.  His hands are bleeding again.  “Fuck…”

[2x4plank]

I was trapped on the Pittsburgh act. Pittsburgh is hell. Currently, I'm working through Survival Permadeath (even though I beat this game months ago) and it took me at least a month to beat this act alone. Story-wise, this is an excellent act because...

Joel can trust Ellie enough to give her a gun.

HEEEEENRY & SAAAAAAM!

If you had as much trouble as I did with that act, you're overjoyed once you get to Henry and Sam. Not only are they great characters, but you got a strangle partner!

I'm going to combine both Pittsburgh and the Suburbs into this essay.

First of all, Henry. He starts off at odds with Joel (they're literally beating on each other) but I think they gradually come to respect each other's guardianship--and finally, each other as people.

Now, I have never had to step into the role of a guardian. I am generally the younger person in most of my friendships and familial dynamics, so I speak very much from the other end of Henry. So while I will say he's annoying at times, you can clearly understand why. Henry is never trying to be mean to Sam, and he eases up once they're in a safe place. But Henry has been constantly close to death and is trying to keep them both alive. Their parents died during the apocalypse, their crew dissolved, and he had to bolster that older brother guardianship to make up for it. For the record, I would let Sam keep the lil' transformer--and Henry could've been nicer about it. But I understand Henry acting irrational when his anxiety is very high.

It takes a minute for the group to really mix, as it feels like Henry & Sam are separate from Ellie & Joel. Each guardian is preoccupied with protecting the kid they've been traveling with, even when the kids are willing to be fast friends. All that changes, though, when they swap kids. They fight infected and protect each other's children, and the whole group is better for it.

Now, Sam. He is ridiculously small. Like little guy levels off the charts. He is someone who speaks frankly and expects the same from others' (we see some of this in Ellie as well). But he's also a little guy, and he probably doesn't understand why he needs that softness from others. He is forced to grow up too fast, but he also wants to appear mature. The world around him is way too keen to grant this wish, surrounding him with death and depriving him of lil' transformers or any sort of creative outlet. He used to draw a lot; not anymore.

It kind of seems like Sam will have to wait until that "eventually". Eventually, everything will slow down and he will have the opportunity to be a child. Eventually, he and Eillie will be able to tell jokes and bicker over darts without getting sniped at. Eventually, he and Henry will be able to be brothers without running from heavy artillery.

Well, that eventually is robbed from him. Henry makes a split-second decision to save Ellie, who he also came to care for, but he had to do something no brother should have to do and Sam suffered a fate no kid should have to suffer.

This was probably the hardest, saddest part of the entire game. While I would say winter is the scariest part, the ending of this act is something I dread every time.

Once again, Joel has to see some form of himself in an ally. The idea that someone you cared for the most could be taken from you. What could happen if you feel there's nothing left for you outside of that. In Joel's case, he had Tommy and eventually Tess to fall back on. But Henry did not have that support system, and that is something awful.

[millieml]

Aven Shelby : Closeted no more

Shelby!sis

Tommy catching his younger sister within a lie, and dreaded truths are revealed. Coming out of the closet (quite literally and metaphorically)

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, overwhelming gayness, shouting, kissing/heated - hickey

Soft laughs echoed through the kitchen directly below my room, the walls of our house thin and hollow. I could hear Aunt Polly’s scolding words being launched towards John after a crude joke was made, I could practically see the smirk on his face despite being upstairs - out of sight. And, although it was late and I had been sent to bed hours earlier,  I was wide awake.

“Aven?” A soft voice whispered beside me.

Dark brown eyes lock onto mine, and there we lay, snuggled up in secret on my very own bed. We had been in the same position for the past few hours, all thanks to myself - having done an excellent job at sneaking her into the house before being sent upstairs, going completely unnoticed by my family, not like they ever pay much attention to me anyways.

Warmth seeped through my veins as Lottie held eye contact with me, my arm tightly wrapped around her waist, Lottie’s head resting comfortably on my shoulder, her head every now and again being pushed against the side of my neck. This felt new, safe even.

“mmhpm” I acknowledged slightly, feeling sleepy with her tucked into me like this. I wish we could stay like this forever.

As we lay in bed, happiness soaking up any bad thoughts floating through my mind, I listen closely to the life downstairs. Soft laughs, loud laughs, Aunt Polly scolding John once more for, well anything that he would have done I guess. It was nice to finally relax, to enjoy a moment like this in private. God knows how long I’ve waited just to have her in my embrace.

Lottie’s head of blonde waves now rested across the comfort of my chest; her left arm wrapped tightly around my torso. This was warmth, her touch, her presence, when she’s not near me I can’t describe how I feel, but something is always missing without her.

Cherishing this moment that is bound to end, I bring my hand to her loose soft curls, gently stroking the top of her head. Her dark brown eyes are covered by thick black lashes on the edge of her closed eyelids. It seems someone else is also tired.

The soft intakes and exhales of breath highlight the little noise in my bedroom, my heart swells knowing the trust she must have in me, and how safe she must feel to be able to sleep whilst being where she is.

I love that about her, I love everything about her, but knowing she wants this, us, despite our differences in backgrounds - melts my heart in every way possible.

I’ve waited for this day to arrive for quite some time, despite our relationship occurring over the past four months, we haven’t had the opportunity to hold each other like this, its been a lot harder than one might think to sneak around in the society we live in.

No matter where you turn, there is always someone there, whether it’s a blinder who’s been sent to stalk me and keep me from having a normal life, or whether it’s a nosy creep ready to gossip the first chance they get.

Life has been stressful, I couldn’t risk the two of us being caught, and many might say that no one would be suspicious of two girls hanging around each other, but it’s not that simple.

Am I supposed to just act like I have no feelings towards her? I have to physically distract myself from wanting to take her hips in my grip and pull her into me any chance I get.

My love sign is touch, and as much as it pisses me off, I couldn’t live without it. That feeling that floods through me as I embrace her, as I stare at the girl I fell in love with, its rare and when it arrives it stays.

As I look back down at the girl in my hold, my hand automatically reaches out to brush a fallen gold strand away from her eyes. The simple action causes a stir in Lottie, and the dark brown eyes I long to see come into view.

“so beautiful” The words slip out of my mouth naturally as I get the whole image of her in front of me.

Her eyes light up at my words, a bright smile tugs at her lips as a tint of pink hits the skin of her cheeks. I can’t help but chuckle at her reaction and how flustered she has become under the influence of two singular words.

A smooth, small hand, caresses the side of my face, slowly gliding down to my jawline as Lottie pulls herself up slightly. My left arm instinctively wraps itself around her waist, pulling her immensely closer as she resumes her tracing of my face.

“I love you, Aven”, The melodic sound rings through my ears, my hands grip tighter on her waist as I roll the two of us over, pressing her back into the pulpy mattress underneath the two of us.

My attention locks onto her soft lips begging to be touched, and I do as such, leaning forward and gently taking them in mine, kissing her slowly; softly.

One arm steadies my weight beside her head as my hand tucks itself behind her curls, cradling her and moving the two of us closer. I reach the other one down, running my thumb over the bottom of her rib cage, feeling the heat seep further between our bodies.

The kiss deepens, her small hands grip onto my back, begging for more. I press further into the kiss, seeking her approval as she opens her mouth, allowing my tongue to find her own. Hips push up into mine, trying anything to find the friction she so desperately needs.

A breathless chuckle escapes my lips as I pull back ever so slightly, teasing her further.

Lottie whimpers at the loss of contact, a smirk pulling itself up to my lips as I look down at her helpless state. Her hair is hotly messy, and a large flush has spread across her face, highlighting the darkness of her brown eyes.

“please” She whimpers adorably, leaning up to kiss me once more. Although, seeking my own enjoyable pleasure with her neediness, I prolong myself from allowing the contact, and pull back slightly further once more.

A small cry withers its way from her lips as I bring myself to speak.

“What’s wrong hmm? tell me what you need love” I speak quietly, all of my senses focused on the sight below me.

“y-you, you Aven”

“Good girl” I compliment, and with that my lips descend on hers and I press my hips down inter hers, our bodies moulding lovingly as I give in and kiss her with so much passion.

She hums happily into my mouth, the vibration sending a chill up my skin, I feel myself flush.

I take her right leg and wrap it around my hips, pulling her closer. Much to my enjoyment, she does the same with her left leg and before I know what’s happening she’s twisting us round and straddling my lap, the two of us in a sitting position, our chests heaving against each other as we slow things down.

Familiar soft, plump lips attach to my neck, finding my pleasurable spot and sucking harshly on the area of skin. Her lips glitch against my neck as I press her further against me, pulling her fully flush upon me, - a low moan escaping my lips as her teeth dig in, bruising me and creating a small mark.

However, just as fate seems to have it...

A loud crash snaps the two of us out of our moment, followed by the sound of footsteps thudding up the stairs. I can tell immediately who they belong to. Panic floods through my veins as I slip Lottie off me and pull her into my closet, shutting the door and slipping back onto my bed.

As soon as I sit, my door slams open.

There my brother stands, his eyes holding fury as he points at me with anger.

“Fuck where you this morning, eh?!” He growls out accusingly, however his voice comes out in more of a whisper, the low tone grasping my full attention.

My heart stutters at his anger, a million things flashing through my mind as I try to evaluate the situation I am in.

This morning I was with Lottie, behind Uncle Charlies stables in a field. We’d hang out there most days, cuddling up for half an hour or so before people got suspicious of my whereabouts.

The problem was that Tommy had brought me to the backroom of the Garrison this morning and had left me to count some money for him. I wasn’t expecting him to notice my absence. I guess I should have known better.

“Er I—” I stutter out before he cuts me off.

“No! You weren’t at the fuckin’ Garrison, John went looking for you, but the money was left out and there was no sight of you.” His voice lowers dangerously towards the end. His voice gradually loosing the rage as the under lying tone of betrayal sounds through.

His footsteps reach towards me as he bends down, two hands on either side of the bed. His blue eyes mercifully stare into mine as I try my hardest to keep my head up and not act intimidated.

“So, is this how it’s gonna be? eh?” He speaks lowly, his voice almost un hearable, however I hear each syllable, loud and clear.

“Tommy I- “My words faded out as his eyes pierced into mine, causing my head to drop and give in almost instantly.

I hated being any kind of disappointment to Tommy, after all, he is my brother and has done a lot for our family, especially when we are without both parents.

“I don’t understand, you’re always goin’ at us all about being more involved, but whenever I give u an instruction you don’t fuckin’ listen!” Strictness seeps through his words, signifying the importance of this betrayal he feels he’s faced.

I scoff at his words, “So now you care? Oh piss this, when have you ever paid any remote attention to my life, all you give a shit about is business, you’re never around!” I lash out, the heat of the moment suddenly angering me.

Cold fingers grip my chin ever so slightly, as he tilts my head back up, forcing me to look straight at him. I whimper pathetically at the feeling, especially as my hair moves slightly, and my previously kissed skin is revealed.

The air is cold, and as soon as I feel the breeze across my neck, I know that it would be a miracle if he hadn’t seen the marks. The darkening of eyes and furrowing of brows only plummet my chances of hope as his fingers tighten on my chin.

Much to my surprise, he releases me from his grip, and instead stands at his full height. Pacing slightly back and forth he freezes, sending me a death stare as he rummages around his pockets for a cigarette.

After lighting one and placing it inside his mouth, he releases a puff before beginning his so-called interrogation.

“Give me his name” The coldness devours his words, disgust lacing through, showing his disapproval. He must think I’m a whore, that his sister throws himself at people and wants to get money other ways.

Ridiculous. Not once has he seen me with a boy, other than Isaiah, and he’s more like a cousin then anything. I don’t even like men, that’s my problem, I don’t like what I’m supposed to.

Not knowing how my family will react if they ever find out, not knowing whether I will have a life that I can live with. Its all so overwhelming and frightening, but now that I am in this situation I’m scared.

“I said give me his fuckin’ name.”

“I- it’s not- “The words catch in my throat; I can’t physically get them out and the frustration brings tears to my eyes. 

Why on earth did I ever open my mouth? If i didn’t lash out before, and controlled my temper, he probably wouldn’t have noticed anything!

Refusing to let them fall, I swallow them down, blinking them away as quick as they appeared.

The sound of a creak snaps the attention away from me, and a surge of panic rises through me as I realise the noise came from my closet.

Tommy’s rage heightens further as he storms dangerously towards the closet, throwing the door open only to pause as he finds who is inside.

Lottie stands tall, pressed harshly back against the flat of the closet, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

I hate myself for putting her in this situation, and not only am I worrying about my family knowing this secret I have held my entire life, but I am now worried of losing the people I love – Lottie included.

Tommy scoffs, his eyes threateningly catching onto mine, “so this is who you've become Aven? a liar?”

“Both of you get changed, my office.” And with one last huff he leaves the room, slamming the door against the wall as he makes his way downstairs.

I let out a shaky breath, terrified more than I will ever admit.

“A-Aven” Lottie’s voice cracks as her eyes a widened and slightly glossy.

“Shh its okay baby, come here” I speak, my voice failing me halfway as I stand up and make my way towards her.

Despite having a tough aspect, no one can blame her shell for cracking under that situation, he could have shot her for all I know. Before opening the closet, he could have easily put a bullet through the flimsy wooden material. And if that was the case, I wouldn’t be standing here, hearing her heartbeat thud against my own as I swarm her in a tight hug.

“C’mon we need to go love” I whisper, only to have her face press closer to my neck and her hands tighten around my back.

It was clear that she was shaking extensively, but we needed to go now and if we dawdled for any longer, we would risk Tommy coming back, and that was not something we needed another round on.

“I’m scared Aven” She whispers as I pull back and take her trembling hand in mine.

“And that’s okay, we can be scared together, just know that whatever happens, I will always love you okay?” This time I let the tears fall, refusing to have them appear whilst facing my brother.

After saying our last few sentences to each other, we timidly walk downstairs, I lead the way as we reach the kitchen, feeling the emptiness of the room as we make our journey through the betting Den and towards Tommy’s new office.

As we reach our dreaded destination, I knock twice, hoping to delay any sort of time before one of the scariest moments of my life.

“Come in”

With that, I push the door open and stop in my tracks as I see who else is present.

Tommy, John, Arthur.

Fuck.

“Sit down Aven and….” He raises his eyebrows towards Lottie, who freezes at the sudden attention.

“Lottie” She states quietly, the tense atmosphere of the room stealing the spotlight.

Arthur and John look more confused than anything, whereas Tommy’s expression is once again unreadable.

Slouching down in the chair opposite his fancy desk, I look back towards Lottie, nodding at the chair next to me as I feel the eyes of all three brothers on me.

“What’s this all about then Tom?” Arthur breaks the silence between the four of us.

Tommy doesn’t reply straight away, instead he looks at me, almost as if he is offering me a chance to explain to our older brother, but there was no way I could just admit to it like that.

“Its alright brother, just needed to set something straight between us and our Aven here.” He adds, much to my confusion. I was surprised he hadn’t outed me yet; I was waiting for the humiliation and rejection from my family, and because of that, I couldn’t focus on anything.

Arthur shuts up after Tommy’s explanation and instead takes a quick glimpse towards John with a shrug.

“Okay, so its come to my attention that we need to discuss some rules. Rules that I would’ve thought were rather simple, but here we are.” Tommy coughs halfway through his sentence, tapping a few bits of ash out of his cigarette as he pauses.

“This about this morning and the garrison?” John puts two and two together, trying to wrap his head around Tommy’s odd behaviour.

“Partly, partly John yes.” He nods in reply, taking another drag of his cig as his eyebrows furrow together.

“You see, its come to my attention, other’s too, that you’ve been running around, not sticking to places you are meant to be. This isn’t a case up for discussion, eh? It’s simple, if I know where you are and that you’re safe, that’s one less thing for me to worry about – Arthur and John will say the same.

And, as much as I want you to have the freedom, and not be pented up all the time, if you ever think about going somewhere or sneaking about behind mine or any Shelby’s back then that freedom will be gone, and you’ll be stuck in your room until I decide otherwise.”

The room is silent for a few moments, before the large sound of a slam has me jumping in my seat. Tommy slams his hand down on his desk, his finger pointing directly at me.

“Eh! Got it?!”

“Y-Yes Tom” I manage to choke out, pushing back the gushes of tears threatening to unravel how I truly feel. I understood what he was saying of course I did, but that didn’t change the fact that I had to sneak around in order to be happy and hide this relationship from my family.

“Right, that’s all Arthur, John.” He points to the door, leaning back in his chair as he fishes out his lighter for another smoke.

Relief floods through me, as despite the hesitation, both Arthur and John leave, leaving just Tommy alongside the two of us.

“What’s your last name.” Tommy asks calmly, the anger dissipated from his voice as he speaks to my girlfriend beside me.

I can sense her hesitation, clearly worried about the aftermath that this could cause for her or her family. The last thing she needed was her parents finding out about her relationship with not just a Shelby, but a Shelby sister.

“Tom- “He glances towards me, silencing me instantly.

“Haywood” Lottie answers strongly, sitting up slightly in her chair as she sends a quick glimpse in my direction, a small smile ghosting her mouth as she tries to tell me that she is indeed okay.

“Lottie what are you to my sister?” The question pours from his mouth, and the shock of the boldness has the two of us freezing in our seats, worried instantly about what to say and how to move forward.

I couldn’t let her answer for me, despite the question being directed towards her, the simple answer told Tommy the truth, and if it doesn’t come from my mouth, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

“She’s my girlfriend.” I lean forward, forearms resting on my knees, covered by tightly fitted trousers. My head bows knowing the information my brother has just received.

“Hmm, that’s interesting. Well, I’d appreciate it if you weren’t in my sisters bedroom without my knowledge again, alright?” His deep voice echoes through one ear and out of the other.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, ‘again’! Does that mean there will be a second time, or a third, fourth or fifth! My skin felt flushed, and my heart was practically leaping out of my chest as I stared at my older brother in pure shock and disbelief.

Tommy pushes his chair back, stumps out his cigarette, before making the small journey towards my seat. He bends down, one knee on the floor, back straight as he cups my face in both of his hands.

“I’m angry because you couldn’t feel as if you could tell me about this, but on a more serious level, I'm livid with you on how easy it seems to have been for you to lie to me, and to the rest of us. Fuckin’ hell!, You’re my little sister. Nearly seventeen or not, you still answer to me. This is not something you can be reckless about, eh?” he motions to Lottie and I.

“Aven, nothing about who you are will ever stop me from loving you, you’re my little sister and you always will be, understood?” He speaks in the same gruff voice as always, wiping away the flow of tears streaming down my face as I break in his hold.

All that anxiety and worry about what the future could hold for me has disappeared, I feel safe within the comfort of my brother, my best friend.

[queenshelby]

Under his Eye (Part Eight)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Words: 2,345

Warning: Angst, Violence, Smut

Please comment and engage!

At around seven o’clock that night, you arrived back at a rather empty Arrow House.

You knew that Tommy had given some time off to Frances and the Shelby’s other maid was travelling with his wife Grace.

It was pleasant to be alone with him and, just like two teenagers in love, you kissed each other passionately as soon as you walked through the front door.

“I wish it could always be like this for us Love” Tommy said and you couldn’t help but giggle when he nibbled on the tender spot beneath your ear.

“Me too…now come…” you told him before immediately pulling him upstairs towards his bedroom.

“One day, it will be just you and me and the only person we have to worry about walking in on us is your daughter” Tommy told you lovingly before tearing off your clothes like a wild animal and you felt as though, at that point, you really needed to correct him.

“Thomas, it won’t be just us. I am…” you began to say but he interrupted you.

"I know” he said, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders. He pulled you towards him, and you happily let him wrap his arms around you.

“I know that you are pregnant Y/N and I am sorry. I will get you out of here and then you can do what needs to be done. I am not forcing you to carry this child” he promised you and you took your head from his chest and looked into his eyes.

“I am not leaving until my mission here has been completed. Despite, this baby inside of me was made with love and has every right to live” you told him firmly.

“You can’t have her here. You know what will happen to her. She will be Grace’s child and you will be assigned to another house three months after the birth” Tommy told you while caressing your face.

“Her?” you wondered, totally ignoring what else Tommy had just said to you.

“Pol is certain that you are having a girl. And, she is never wrong” Tommy told you and, with that, you leaned up towards his mouth.

He obliged, pressing his lips to your and opening his mouth so your tongues could mingle. Whatever needed to be planned and discussed could wait until tomorrow. For now, you both did what felt right. You needed to capture your love for each other in this fragile moment.

"I will keep you safe. I promise” Tommy told you, when he pulled his mouth back so you could catch your breath. "I love you” he then whispered and you smiled.

"I love you too Tommy” you said and then kissed him again. His hands were so warm on your bare shoulders, your back and your neck.

"You are going to be so fucking beautiful with my child growing inside of you” Tommy whispered into your mouth before he turned, still holding you, pivoting you until his large bed was directly behind you.

He didn't have to nudge you in that direction though. Instead, you took his hands in to yours and led him back towards the bed until you felt the backs of your thighs against the soft fabric of the blanket, and sat down at the edge.

He stood there in front of you, and you took the opportunity to run your hands down the front of his clothing. As your palms passed over his pants, you felt the evidence of his growing excitement.

“Hmm, Mr Shelby” you teased as you let your fingers wander along the top of his pants, until they settled on the buckle of his belt. With a few deft movements you had it open, and you gently tugged his pants until they started sliding down.

You were fixated on your task of unleashing him, and your reward was the sight of his cock swinging free as you finally pulled his clothes down to his thighs.

“Y/N, fuck” Tommy groaned as you laid a reverent hand on it, feeling it twitch in your hand as it came alive under your touch.

He was staring down at you, and you looked up to hold his gaze as you slowly stroked his hardening shaft. You could feel his erection finish growing in your palm.

"How could I ever resist you?” he asked, his voice a soft whisper.

"You can’t. I am irresistible” you teased while gently fondling his length in your hands.

“You sure are. But, it’s my turn to do what I want to you before I willingly surrender myself to you” Tommy told you before gently moving away your hand from his now very hard shaft.

“As you wish” you smiled while you leaned back on the bed, staring up at him. He took a gentle hold of your garment and pulled it upwards, and you lifted your arms up as he lifted it over your head and dropped it behind him.

You were now wearing nothing but your thin panties and pulled yourself backwards until your head was against the pillows.

Tommy followed eagerly, crawling on the bed until he was over you.

For a moment, his lips found yours and then he shifted down, alighting on your cheek, your jaw and your neck. He stayed there for a moment, kissing and licking, eliciting a quiet noise of desperation from you.

Then he was moving down again, lips on your collarbone, then lower. Tommy’s lips traced a line down the center of your chest, then strayed outwards, kissing along the swell of one breast until his lips were over your nipple.

“Oh god Tommy” you moaned in delight as he kissed and gently sucked, pulling the nipple against his lips. You arched your back reflexively, pushing your chest against his face. He slid a hand under your back, holding you up as he kissed and sucked.

Tommy then moved to the other breast before his palm replaced his mouth, sliding up the underside of your breast until he cupped your breast in his hand. He gently squeezed the flesh there, kneading it as his mouth continued its journey south. He gently rolled your nipple between finger and thumb, and you hummed appreciatively.

The path of his lips continued down along your stomach, until his lips were pressed against your waist. you wished for a moment that you could have bought underwear that was just a bit more... exciting. But his hands slid down to follow the path his mouth had blazed, and he slid the panties off without sparing them a moment's thought, tossing them over a shoulder.

Now you were bared before him again, and he stopped completely for a moment as he drank in the sight.

"Do you like what you see?" you asked. It was a rhetorical question, since the bulging of his eyes was all the answer you could need.

"You're gorgeous Love" Tommy whispered, and you couldn't help but giggle. The look in his eyes, the tone in his voice... it sounded like reverence.

The words he spoke made for a good answer, but then he gave another answer that was even better. With no more words and no hesitation, he all but lunged forward, his mouth suddenly covering your pussy.

"Oh, god yes" you said in relief. His warm mouth was a welcome reprieve from the cool air, and you felt the heat of his breath spread up into you and all the way up your spine.

“Tommy” you kept on moaning when he reached out with his tongue and traced along your sensitive lip. Warm, wet heat radiated up into you as his tongue probed along your folds, and between them. He traced a line up, briefly flicking across the sensitive nerve bundle at the top, then back down. He followed that same path again, from your wet slit up to your clit, then back down.

Then he was pressing forward with his tongue, sliding it into you, and you felt your hips push up against his face automatically. He delved with his tongue, lapping up your taste, and you moaned quietly in pleasure.

"Oh, Tommy…fuck” you whispered for a third time as he slid his tongue up again until it passed over the aching nub at the apex of your folds. He swished it back and forth a few times, making your body twitch slightly at the jolts of delightful sensation.

"Just like that" you told him and he complied, flicking his tongue back and forth across your clit.

He kept at that motion, passing the tip of his tongue back and forth. Currents of electric stimulation surged up your core with each motion, and you felt heat radiating out from your spine and down until the delicate folds of your pussy were alight with tingling heat. You wanted more, more, more.

"I want you inside of me Tommy, please…" you whispered to him, but Tommy's attention was fully fixed on his task.

You writhed under the attention, your body moving of its own accord. It was so good, but you wanted to feel him inside of you. You grabbed onto his shirt and pulled, dragging him up forcefully until, suddenly, the door to the bedroom opened and you shot up and covered yourself with the sheets.

A glare of fear and anxiety rose straight through you as you looked at Tommy’s wife who was stunned and somewhat confused.

“Get up!” she eventually yelled at you, her voice full of rage and, just as Tommy had fully clothed himself quickly, Grace reached for his gun.

“Calm down Grace! Put down the fucking gun, eh” he yelled, seeing that she pointed the gun straight at you and cocked it.

“You are sleeping with my husband...MY HUSBAND!” Grace yelled in anger as she approached you while holding the gun into your face and, just as Tommy held onto Grace’s arm, she leashed out at you and hit you so hard that you hit your head on the bedside table.

“Enough Grace! Drop the gun!” Tommy yelled again, holding her back and taking away some of the force she was aiming towards you.

“Give me one reason not to shoot this whore Thomas. Sleeping with a commander carries the death sentence. She will be hanged by next week anyway after I report her” Grace spat, wrestling with Tommy and trying to free herself from his embrace.

“You will not go to the authorities with this Grace” Tommy ordered her with anger before taking the gun out of her hand and, just as he did, she tried to attack you again.

“And why wouldn’t I Tommy?” Grace spat while you scooted backwards, covering your naked body with whatever you could find.

“Because she is pregnant!” Tommy told her reluctantly, knowing very well that he was lacking any other option and, as soon as he said it, she calmed down and spoke a prayer.

“Thank you Lord, my prayers have finally been heard” she said, somewhat relieved while sitting down on the bed besides you and placing her hand on to your stomach.

The sudden change in demur caused Tommy to cock an eyebrow and you couldn’t help but break out in anger.

“Don’t fucking touch me” you said, still holding your bleeding head while trying to push her away from you.

“I have every right to touch you Y/N. You are my property, carrying my child. Your body belongs to me” Grace said and you were absolutely speechless. You wanted to argue with her, telling her that this was your child, a child which you made with her husband. You made with love and she had no right to it. But you also knew that you had to be careful.

“Of course, Mrs Shelby. I am sorry” you said, swallowing your pride and it was at this point that Tommy sighed with relief. You did the right thing, submitting to his wife and, even though he hated the fact that you had to do it, he knew that this was your only chance of survival now. You had been found out and this was dangerous.

“Now, for the next nine months, you will be confined to your room. If I find out that you are seeing my husband again behind my back, I will have you removed from my house and you will be placed into a birthing facility and chained to your fucking bed there until you are ready to give birth. Then you will be shipped to the whore house which, clearly is where you belong” Grace Shelby then told you and, whilst your heart sank with fear and disappointment, you nodded in agreement nonetheless.

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[ptergwen]

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

-

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

-

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

[champagne-bucky]

Wet N’ Wild

Summary: After a stressful couple days at school, Tom finds a way to make the reader feel better. 

Warnings: Tom Holland x college!reader, touch starved, smut, fingering, oral (female), things get steamy y’all

Notes: So this is for @asonofpeter​ ‘s 1K Challenge.... that’s a month late but hopefully this makes up for it sorry girl!!! Hope y’all enjoy this one!!

Word Count: 1834

Prompt #9: “I’m wet” and “I don’t care, let me hold you,”

You walked into your apartment and slammed the door shut. Your head was pounding and all you wanted to do was sleep forever. However, with the thousands of papers you have due this week sleep might be a fleeting dream.

“Love, are you okay?” your boyfriend walks over and greets you.

“Yeah,” you said weakly, “just school stressing me out. You won’t believe the amount of work they’re giving me,” you could almost tear up at the work you’d have to do.

“Shhh don’t get upset,” you didn’t even realize the tears starting to form in your eyes.

“I don’t know Tom, college has just been getting so hard recently and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to keep up,” you finally broke down in Tom’s arms.

He soothed you for a while until your breathing was steady again. Tom stroked your back which put you more at ease.

“We’ll figure it out, I’ll help you if I have to,” you were so grateful that you found someone as loving as him. Tom would go to the ends of the earth for you if he could. How did you both get so lucky to find each other?

“I’m gonna run you a bath, love. You go get ready,” Tom kissed your forehead and ran off to the bathroom.

You made your way to the bedroom and began to take off your clothes, quickly putting a fluffy robe over your nude body.

“Y/N, it’s ready, love,” Tom called you from the bathroom.

Your nose was filled with a warm lavender scent and the bathroom was already steamy. Tom made sure to fill the tub with his body wash that you loved so much and made the water extra hot.

“After you, princess,” you took off your robe and handed it to Tom.

“Thank you, my prince,” you gave him a sweet kiss on the lips as you caught him eyeing up your body.

“Do you wanna join,” you bit your lip and ignored the buzzing feeling from in between your thighs. Between Tom’s filming schedule and your college work load, the two of you have never had the opportunity to get really intimate.

Tom was about to shake his head no and let you have some free time, but he couldn’t ignore how beautiful his naked girl was squeezing her thighs together. Like I wouldn’t notice, he thought.

Without saying a word, Tom began to shred himself of his clothing while you turned your back to him and made your way towards the steaming bath. Tom unapologetically admired your ass as it motivated him to shuck off his pesky clothing faster.

He lowered himself into the bath first and you followed suit. Tom wrapped his arms around your waist and you leaned your head back to rest on his shoulder. For the first time in a long time, you two truly felt at peace.

However, the peace quickly ended once you felt Tom’s erection poke your lower back. You suppressed a gasp, but you both knew that you felt it.

Tom used this moment to begin pampering soft kisses on your shoulder and neck. You let out a low moan at how good the small amount of affection felt.

“Please Tommy,” you moaned for him to move his hands down a little lower.

Once his fingers found your small nub he gently began to rub. You slowly started to grind your hips into his fingers as his kisses got more intense.

You felt him grow harder behind your back and your mind was swimming with the endless possibilities of what could happen tonight.

“You know,” Tom said in a raspy voice, “you can touch it if you want,” he was trying so hard not to grind into you.

You moved to a better position in the tub and grabbed him. Tom moaned once your hand touched his member as you slowly started to stroke.

“Being a little bit of a tease aren’t we, love?” You responded with a moan as Tom sped up on your clit.

“My poor baby’s been so stressed out lately. You needed this didn’t you? You need my cock and fingers to help relax huh?” You tried to respond, but Tom entered a finger into you and you let out a tiny scream.

“Answer me,” he said forcefully as he went faster.

“I-I n-need you. S-s-so bad,” you cried out.

“Keep going, honey,” Tom was getting cocky now, but as you sped up on him he was starting to falter.

“Tommy?”

He put two fingers in you and sped up.

“Yes”

“I need you.”

“Need what, love?”

His other hand came around and started to circle your clit again.

“I need, I need your cock,” you moaned out loud as you felt your orgasm coming, you had stopped touching him completely due to the amount of pleasure.

“Let go for me and then you can have my cock, baby,” you screamed as Tom kicked himself into overdrive and completely made you lose touch of reality for a brief moment.

Your first orgasm was blinding as you arched your back and moaned Tom’s name. Tears were streaming down your face as water was falling out of the tub from the intense session.

“You did so well for me,” Tom kissed your shoulder and he got up from behind you. He turned on the shower head and drained the bath water and started to exit.

“Where are you going,” you tried to ask, but it came out more like a whine.

“I’m gonna clean up the little mess we made,” he smirked, “then meet me in the bedroom for round two,” he looked you up and down and bit his lip.

You shuddered at the endless possibilities of what he wanted to do to you in the bedroom, so you made sure to take a fast shower, and try to ignore the sensitivity between your legs as you cleaned up there.

__

You finished up your shower in a hurry, despite the tremors going through your legs every now and then, and practically rushed to meet Tom in your bedroom.

The water was still dripping off your body as you entered the shared room. Everything looked the same except for one thing: Tom wasn’t there. You thought to go look for him for a brief moment or try and call for him, but you gasped as you felt your boyfriends muscled arms wrap around you and pull you close.

“I’m wet,” you laughed as you tried to wiggle away but his grip on you was tight.  

“I don’t care, let me hold you,” Tom nuzzled his head into your shoulder and peppered more kisses across it.

You laughed as his hands caressed your towel-clad body, poking your soft spots in an attempt to make you laugh. However he paused, Tom stopped his loving touches and in one swoop he picked you up and placed you in the middle of the bed.

You exchanged looks of adoration. Tom thought that you never looked more beautiful than now. He loved you at your most vulnerable self and would always make you know it. The way he looked at you, you would never trade it for anything in the world. He was your one.

“Can I take this off, love?” He picked at your towel.

You nodded a yes and he wasted no time in ridding your damp body of the fabric.

“Might need to give you another bath after this,” he smirked as you removed his shirt and pants and made eye level with your pussy.

“Why’s that?” You already knew the answer, but you just wanted to hear him say it.

“Because this pussy’s gonna be dripping with my cum,” Tom abruptly latched his lips to your core and began to work you up.

You couldn’t hold back the distraught moan that left your lips. Your body felt way too sensitive after all of Tom’s attacks. You clutched onto his hair and began pulling it, begging for him to stop and look up at you.

“What is it, darling?” Tom didn’t move from your pussy. While he awaited a response from you, he licked your core some more and with curious eyes as to what you were going to say.

“Tommy,” you moaned as his tongue pressed harshly on your clit, “please, Tommy, I need you inside of me, please, please, please…”

Your pleas died out as the please became too much for you. Tom smirked as you were at a loss for words. He loved when you looked fucked out beyond repair, it turned him on way too much.

Sadly for him, he removed himself from your aching pussy and positioned himself to go inside you.

“Is this okay, love?” He always made sure to ask you if you were feeling okay when you were this fucked out.

“Yes,” you moaned weakly, but it wasn’t for long because Tom put a devious smirk back on his face and slammed into you again.

You gasped and Tom took the opportunity to start kissing you. The kiss was anything but gentle and romantic and more raw and passionate. Tom needed this night as much as you did.

“You’re such a princess, you know that, Y/N? Such a perfect princess, always so ready and waiting for me,” he grunted.

He moved his hands to behind your hips and angled them upwards towards him. The new position made you shriek in pleasure.

“Baby, baby, I’m gonna-,”

“It’s okay, princess, just let it go,” Tom moved faster to catch up.

You both finished at the same time. Tom collapsed on you, your sweaty bodied making you overheated.

“You're crushing me, Tom,” you struggled to say.

Tom faked an offended scoff and moved off of you, pulling himself out in the process.

Tom’s fingers settled on below your belly button, but they didn’t stay there for long. Tom trailed his fingers lower until they got to your pussy again. He circled around your clit again, but soon pushed his fingers into your pussy and pushed yours and his cum farther in.

“Oh, Tom, please, I need to take a break if you wanna go again,” you breathlessly said.

“Why don’t we get you all cleaned up again, okay?” You nodded your head as Tom removed his fingers and ran into the bathroom.

After a while he called you in the bathroom. Your legs were shaking with each step as you made your way to the hot shower that was running and your gorgeous boyfriend outside of it. Before you stepped in, you heard the humming of the bathroom fan on.

“Why’s that on?” You asked Tom.

“I figured round two would take a while, so we shouldn’t steam up the whole bathroom, right, love?” Tom winked and pulled you in the shower.

Let’s just say you weren’t stressed anymore after a few rounds.

[elliesguitarstrings]

promises, promises || part one: what used to be

masterlist || series masterlist

tom holland x reader

summary: you're crying over someone you haven't seen in two years, tom is straight up depressed, your friends are trying to set you up, and sam is just trying his best to help

warnings: ANGST, language, mentions of sex, little bit of fluff, probably typos

A/N: PART ONE IS HERE!!!! i absolutely love this fic and i hope you guys love it as much as i do :)

p.s. this ended up being really long sooooo i decided to make it into a series instead lol if y'all haven't figured that out

wc: 5k

~~~~~~~~

"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.

"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.

"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.

The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND

"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.

"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.

The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.

Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"

This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.

Paddy pipes up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"

"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"

You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.

"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."

Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.

"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.

The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.

"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"

You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.

"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"

Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."

"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."

She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.

You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.

"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.

"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.

"But I want you here too!" he pouts.

"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.

"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.

"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"

Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.

You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.

After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.

You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.

"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.

"Everything's gonna change you know. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.

He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"

You smile softly, "You promise?"

"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment forever with him, and only him.

That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything had changed. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.

Now, Tom is a world-famous actor, living a luxurious life out in Hollywood. You, however, have stayed in England, living only thirty minutes away from your childhood home with your newfound best friends Julia and Finn. You are no longer a part of Tom's life, and he is no longer a part of yours. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten about him.

How could you possibly forget about Tom? Your entire childhood was spent with him. From the ages of two to twenty-two, you were inseparable. To this day, you still remember when you first met, and you think about it often.

"I no wanna go! I stay home and watch princesses!" you cry, defiantly pulling away from your mother's firm grip as she tries to stuff you into shoes that are much too small for your rapidly growing feet.

"I know honey, but we have to go welcome the new neighbors who just moved in across the street. We made them brownies, remember?" she smiles.

You scrunch your face up, " No! I stay home!"

Your dad chimes in, kneeling down to your level. "Listen peanut. How about we make a deal. You come with us and say hello to the new neighbors, and then after we get home you can watch any princess movie you want and maybe even have some ice cream, how does that sound?"

You smile, "Ice cream with rainbow sprinkles?"

He rubs your head, "With rainbow sprinkles."

"Okay. I go then."

Your parents smile, and you hold their hands as you walk across the street to meet the neighbors. Your mom rings the doorbell, and the door opens to reveal a red-headed woman, smiling at you and your parents. Hiding behind her is a small, curly-headed brunette boy about the same height as you.

Your mom introduces herself, "Hi! My name is Y/M/N, this is my husband Y/D/N, and this is my daughter Y/N. We live right across the street, and we just wanted to welcome you into the neighborhood." She outstretches her arms, holding the brownies, "I made these for you as well, I hope you like them!"

The woman smiles, "Oh, wow, thank you so much, you are so sweet! Would you like to come in for a bit?"

"Of course, as long as you'll have us."

She ushers the three of you in and you stay close to your mom, still wary of entering a stranger's home.

As she closes the door behind her, she introduces herself as well, "Sorry, the house is a little messy, we’re still getting settled in. But I'm Nikki, my husband Dominic is unpacking in the kitchen, and this is Tom." She motions to the boy behind her, "Tom, say hello to the nice people!"

He timidly steps forward, waving at you and your parents. "Hello." he says quietly.

"Oh my, he is adorable!" your mom gushes. She walks over to him, "How old are you Tom?"

He holds up two fingers, "This many."

She smiles, "Two years old? Wow, you're so big! Guess what, you know who else is that many?" Tom shakes his head no. "My daughter Y/N!" She motions for you to come, and you shyly walk forward.

You wave at him, and that makes him smile. Nikki taps Tom on the shoulder, "Do you maybe want to show Y/N your toys upstairs?

He nods his head, smiling at you, "Wanna go play?" he asks.

You smile back, looking at your mom for permission. She nods her head and pushes you forward. "Okay, we go." you respond. He takes your hand and pulls you upstairs, seemingly coming out of his shell. You don't know what it is about this boy, but he makes you feel warm, like a hug. It's something your two-year-old brain can't quite comprehend, but suddenly you couldn't care less about watching princess movies or eating ice cream.

Sometimes you wish that day had never happened, that you had never met him. You wish your little two-year-old self had fought harder against your parents so that you wouldn’t have to endure the years of pain he would cause you later in life. But you can’t go back, and in part, you’re glad about that. He was your first friend, your first crush, and your first love. But he was also your first heartbreak, and that’s something you can never forget.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by a sharp knock on your bedroom door. "Hey, are you almost ready? We have to leave in ten or we'll be late!" you hear Julia's muffled voice from the other side of the door. Finn is hosting a gala tonight for his art studio, and being his best friends and roommates, you and Julia are basically required to go.

"Uh, yeah, I'm about done, I'll be out in a minute!" You haven't even started getting ready, but you don't have any more time. You quickly raid your closet and find a short v-neck black dress and matching heels. You wiggle into the dress as you make your way into the bathroom. You had planned on straightening your hair, but you have no time, so instead, you brush it back into a sleek low ponytail and spray it with a bit of hairspray. There's no time for the elaborate makeup look you had planned either, so you quickly throw on some concealer, blush, mascara, eyeliner, a bit of highlight, and you're set. As you walk to the door, you grab your purse and slip on your heels, making sure you have your phone and keys. Finn and Julia are already waiting in the car, both with disapproving looks.

"What the fuck took you so long? We were supposed to leave five minutes ago! You know I can't be late for this thing." Finn complains as you slip into the backseat.

"Sorry, I, uhm, don't feel well. A little nauseous." you lie. You don't feel like telling them that you were actually crying about someone you haven't seen or talked to in two and a half years like you do every other night.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Julia chuckles.

"Oh please, we all know that Y/N hasn't gotten any since he who must not be named." Finn replies for you.

"Thanks Finn, what a great friend." you joke sarcastically.

He's not wrong though. Since you and Tom broke up, you haven’t slept with a single person. You’ve been on a few dates and kissed a few guys, but nothing past that. The closest you got was about a month after Tom broke it off with you. You were looking for someone to take your mind off of him, so you found a random guy named David at a pub and took him back to your place. But as soon as he took off his shirt, you saw a birthmark on his back that looked eerily similar to Tom’s, and you promptly broke down crying.

No matter what you do, you just can’t seem to get him off your mind.

"Alright bitches, we're here." Finn sighs. "Help me bring my stuff in, we don't have much time thanks to someone who took ages to get ready."

You give a halfhearted apology as you grab Finn's paintings from the back of his car. Julia stops you before you follow Finn into the venue, "Babe, are you sure you're doing alright?"

You smile lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Okay, if you say so. And sorry about Finn mentioning... him. It's been two years, he should know better."

"Oh, no. No, don't worry about that. It's okay. I don't care." you lie.

She gives you an encouraging nudge on the shoulder, "Hey, who knows, maybe you'll find a hottie here tonight and finally get back out there! What do you think, huh?"

"Yeah, that would be great, actually. Maybe Finn can introduce me to his friend James, I know he's pretty hot." you say just to get her off your back. You know for a fact that you won't be going home with anyone tonight, but you want to ease her conscience, so you continue to lie.

"That's the spirit! Good luck hun, love you."

"Thanks Jules, love you too." you smile.

Halfway through the gala, you already want to go home. Finn is over at the bar flirting with some guy, probably trying to get him to buy his artwork. Meanwhile, Julia has disappeared into the bathroom with her boyfriend Ollie, who she invited about thirty minutes into the event because she "got bored."

You look at your phone and realize it's already midnight, and you know the event won't be ending anytime soon. You slowly make your way over to Finn through the sea of people and tap him on the shoulder, drawing his attention away from whatever guy he's flirting with.

"Hey Y/N, how's it going with James?" he asks excitedly.

"Oh, um, it didn't work out, thanks for introducing me though. I just wanted to come tell you that I'm still not feeling well, so I think I'm gonna head home, sorry."

"Oh, okay, no problem. You're probably gonna be alone tonight though, just a heads up. Jules is going back to Ollie's for the night, and" he starts to whisper, "I think I might be going home with this hunk."

You laugh, "Okay, thanks Finn, see you tomorrow then."

"Bye babe. Do you have a ride?" he questions.

"Uh, no, I'm just gonna Uber home, it's no problem."

Finn gasps, "Not this late at night you're not! Let me drive you, hottie with a body over here can wait."

"No, no, don't let me ruin your night. I'll just call Sam then."

His eyes widen, "Like... his brother Sam?"

"Yeah, we're friends still, it's not a big deal. Trust me."

"Okay, fine. But text me when you get home, okay?"

"Okay, love you Finn, see you later." you give him a quick hug and walk outside to call Sam.

You aren't lying, you and Sam are still good friends. Back when you and Tom were together, Sam was the brother that you were closest to, and you felt that it would be unfair to cut ties with the rest of the Hollands just because Tom was a dick to you seeing as they were as much of a family to you as your own parents were, maybe even more. He was attending culinary school in the area anyway, so you decide he’s the best person to call.

As expected, he's happy to drive you home, and about ten minutes later he arrives at the venue where you are still standing outside.

"Hey Sam, I'm sorry for calling this late, but thank you so much for picking me up." you smile as you slide into the passenger seat.

"It's no problem, I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. How've you been?"

"Fine, I guess. How about you?"

"C'mon, I know that look. Something's up with you." he pries.

"I told you on the phone, I'm just not feeling well." you lie, hoping he doesn't catch on.

"It's Tom isn't it?"

"How the fuck do you always know?"

He chuckles. "He is my brother, remember? And you're basically my sister too. I've known you both for literally my entire life, so trust me, I know when it's about him."

You sign in defeat, "I don't know why I can't get over him Sam. It's been nearly three years since we broke up, and I haven't seen him since. My roommates think I'm overreacting, and honestly, I'm starting to agree with them. I should be moved on by now, but I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Hey, hey, don't listen to them, you aren't overreacting. You and Tom were literally attached at the hip for twenty two years, and you weren't even dating for most of them. It's completely normal for you to feel like this, trust me. And I know it doesn't help much for me to say this because I've said it a million times before, but Tom's a complete dick for what he did to you. He's my brother, and I love him, but he's a dick."

"Thanks Sam. I just wish I knew why, y'know? Why, after twenty-two fucking years, he just completely cut me out of his life." you feel your eyes brimming with tears.

"I wish I could have an answer for you Y/N, I really do. But I haven't got a clue. Hell, I honestly don't even know if Tom knows why he did it."

You sigh, "Well, he must have had a reason. Plus, he seems to be doing great in Hollywood. He seems perfectly happy without me."

"You've been stalking him on Instagram, haven't you?" Sam chuckles.

You laugh, "Shut up." That's the great thing about Sam. He can always lighten up a situation, no matter how serious or how sad. Tom did the same thing, that was one of the things you liked most about him.

You and Sam sit in silence for a few minutes, until he finally breaks it. "He's not, you know."

"Huh?" you question, confused.

"He's not happy. You said he seems happy without you, but he's not. He's doing terribly, and it's not just from stress or his work. He won't admit it, but he misses you." he pauses, "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but he asked about you the other day. About how you were doing and shit like that. I think he would take it back if he could."

You want so badly to believe him, belief that Tom actually still cares about you after all this time. But false hope is the last thing you need right now.

"Well, he can't, can he?" you say sharply, tears still threatening to flow out.

You and Sam sit in silence for the last five minutes of the ride back to your apartment. As he slows the car to a stop, Sam looks over at you sympathetically, "Look, I'm sorry if what I said made things worse. I just wanted you to know that your feelings aren't... one-sided I guess."

You know better than to yell at Sam, he was just trying to make you feel better, so instead of spitting out the sarcastic remark that was on your tongue, you manage out a half-hearted, "It's okay, thanks Sam." and shut the car door.

As soon as the door of your apartment closes behind you, all of the emotions come crashing down on you. A mixture of sadness, anger, guilt, and regret crushed your heart, smashing it into a million little pieces. It feels like two and a half years ago, when he first broke up with you, all over again. Everything was fine until Sam brought him up again, and the memories just all flooded back in. You fall to the floor, clutching your chest in pain, wishing someone was here for you. Wishing he was here for you. At the moment, it feels like you have no one. In reality, you do; you have an entire support system of people who love you so much and would do anything to protect you. But you only want him. You need him. He is the only person you have ever wanted, ever needed, and he's gone.

You want to hate him, you really do. He's caused you more pain in the past two and a half years than anyone or anything has ever caused you in your entire life. But you can't. You can never, and will never, hate him. Which makes you hate yourself.

After what feels like hours of crying, you finally calm down. There's no one at home to talk to and it's too late to call anyone at this point, so you flip on the tv. There's nothing good on Netflix or Hulu that you haven't seen yet, so you scroll through the other apps. You remember that you just got a free Apple TV subscription with your new phone, so you check to see what's on there.

And there it is. Cherry.

His face right on the screen in front of you, lighting your dark bedroom red. You know it's a bad idea and you know you'll regret it, but something draws you to watch it. You need him right now, and this is about the closest you're going to get.

It's fine at first. It's actually nice to see his face again after so long. He looks basically the same as the last time you saw him, just a little more mature. You feel good supporting him, even if he doesn't know it.

But then it's not fine. His character had just gotten into a fight with his girlfriend, so she comes to visit him in his apartment. They talk, and eventually he reveals that he joined the army and has to go away for two years.

"It's just a couple years. Just a couple years and a lifetime together." he whispers.

Then it all hits you, and you break down crying once again. You can't help but think back to that night in the treehouse, and how the conversation is so eerily similar. You wonder if Tom was thinking about it too, while he was filming the scene. Obviously, the circumstances were different, but it still makes you wonder.

You quickly shut the TV off, unable to bear it anymore. With nothing else to do, you try to sleep, but your thoughts keep you up. And as much as you try to fight it, your mind drifts back to the day you so badly want to forget. The day that it all ended.

"Hey, Tommy, what's up? I'm excited to see you tonight!" you pick up the phone. Tom is supposed to come back to London after filming his first solo Spiderman movie, and you could not be more excited to see him. It's been almost a full year since he left for America, and you miss him so much.

"Yea, uhm, about that. Plans have, er, changed a bit." you can hear the solemn tone in his voice.

"Oh no, what happened? Did your flight get delayed or something? I know there's some rough weather in Atlanta, but I didn't realize it was that bad."

"No, no, it's not that. I don't really know how to say this," he sighs, "I'm not coming home."

Your heart drops to your stomach. "What?"

"Yeah. I'm, um, I'm staying in America for now. I found a house in LA, it's nice."

"Well when are you coming back then?" you utter in disbelief.

"Not anytime soon. I have work, so it's just easier for me to be in America. I'm sorry." his tone is stiff.

"But what about us? I miss you so much, these past few months have already been hell for me. I don't think I can survive much longer without seeing you."

No response.

"Tom, are you still there? You know I can't move in with you. I'm already enrolled in university here in London, I can't drop everything and come to America if that's what you want."

"That's not what I want." At this point he seems to have no emotion in his voice, as if he's reading directly from a script.

"So then what do you want?" you start to really worry, tears already stinging your eyes.

"I think you can probably figure that out by now, Y/N."

"Tom, no. You seriously can't be thinking-"

"Yeah, I am thinking that. You've already said that these past few months have been hell, and I'm too busy with work, so I think that's the only option."

You plead with him, "Tom, please! We can figure this out, I love you so much. We can't break up Tom, I can't lose you." You're sobbing at this point, scared to lose the one person you need the most.

"No, we can't figure this out. We have to break up, there's no other choice."

"What happened to you and me forever? That- that night in the treehouse you said you wouldn't let anything come between us!"

"We were kids, Y/N! We had no idea what our lives were going to turn out like. That was a stupid thing to say and I never should have said it, okay? You can't keep every promise you make, especially when you're eighteen. But we're mature adults now, and the mature way to handle this is to break up. Understand?" His voice is booming through your phone speaker, and it's nothing you've ever heard come from him before. He was always calm, looking for a way to work things out. But now, he's completely giving up.

"Tom, please, I-"

"No, Y/N, I don't have time for this right now, I'm sorry. Goodbye."

He hung up. He's gone.

That was the last time you spoke to him. You didn't even get to properly say goodbye, let alone see his face before he was gone forever.

Unbeknownst to you, that phone call is still, to this day, Tom's biggest regret. Almost immediately after he hung up, he wished he had never called you in the first place. He was stressed from work, he was angry at his management team for making him stay in America, but most of all he missed you. So he did the only thing he could think of to take it all away - separate himself from you. He thought that if he broke up with you, he would feel better about his career choices and he wouldn’t have to wwc:orry about missing you anymore because it would be over.

He was wrong.

Every day since then, he’s wanted to call you, text, you, or somehow contact you to apologize; explain why he did what he did and how he still loves you, still needs you, still misses you every second of his life. But he knows he can’t. You would never be able to forgive him for breaking it all off so suddenly. There’s no way in hell you could still love him after something like that.

So he’s stayed out of reach from you for good. And he hopes that maybe one day he’ll be able to move on, find someone new like you’ve probably done by now. But deep down he knows he never will.

You’re still unable to sleep, and now that it’s almost four in the morning, you decide that you probably won’t be able to for the rest of the night. Not knowing what else’s to do, you begrudgingly roll out of bed and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As you fill up your mug with warm water, you hear a knock at the door.

Who the fuck would be coming to your apartment this early? You suspect it’s Finn, as he always manages to forget his key. Maybe his night with the mystery bar hunk didn’t go as well as he had planned. You quickly set a tea bag in your mug and walk to open the door.

“Back so soon Fi... what the fuck.” your heart drops to your stomach.

It’s him. The same brown-haired, brown-eyed, British boy that you remember, staring down at you from outside your apartment at four in the morning.

“Hey.”

~~~~~~~~

tags: @pxkajesus @roseke @agentsofparker @lifeasjazzz @damnrancidchicken @tomhoelland01 @iwannabekilledtwice @rafehogwarts @non-eexistent @rosiexx8 @nearlydanger9 @realityisabitch07 @midgardassassins @jbreenr @cap-marvxl @ellesmythe @deepestcolorgiantopera @that-one-person @nevertrustapanda16 @rxmanxff @bubbleskz @quinn-spn58 @idkkkkaaw @aayaissaa @pjmjams @tiredstudenttrinity @isabella-bby @hollandprkr @pure-ghost @ladykxxx08 @white-wolf1940 @runawayolives @geekgirleve @thathurtbrolol @lost-girl24 @justafangirlduh @emistrash @writingrem @hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @mathletemadison @paulaabellag @miraclesoflove @captainamirica @mlmarint @quaksonhehe @laneybobeczko-g @peterspideysense @hollandstanevans @anna-sofia

[thomaslightwood]

The Weight of Love

THOMASTAIR WEEK - Day 2 (16th July): Thomas Appreciation Day (hosted by @youngreckless!)

I managed to put myself together to write this, hope you enjoy it 🤧

Words: 1 773

•

When Thomas was a little boy he hated runes.

He hated seeing the anxious faces of his parents when the Silent brothers put the Voyanceon rune on his hand. 

He hated how he had memorized the Nourishment rune and still did it on himself.

He hated how the Iratze runes were put on him over and over again when he had a bad ill episode.

He hated runes.

But he loved musical notes.

In a way they were so similar to the Shadowhunter runes but it didn't cost anyone worries.

The first time he wrote a song - full written song - he didn't want to show it to anyone. It wasn't something that was meant for anyone's eyes.

“Tommy!”

Thomas sighed. He loved his sisters. He loved his parents. But sometimes their love was a weight that was crushing him.

“I'm coming!” he shouted in response. He hid his notebook with stories and songs under his bed, carefully putting a few things over it. Then he ran over to the living room where his sisters were.

“Yes?”

Eugenia was furiously pricking with a needle the tapestry she was making. Or trying to make. Barbara was doing the same as her's but she used the needle much calmer. She looked at Thomas.

“Come here with us,” she smiled. “The dinner is soon.”

Thomas sat on the couch next to Eugenia without saying a word. He knew why his sister had asked him to come. So they can watch after him. Like he was a glass that could be broken by the wind.

“Barbs,” Eugenia said, her face a little red. “Please come help me with this or I swear to Raziel, I'll rip it off.”

Barbara left her tapestry on the table and stood up from the chair she was sitting on, coming to the couch. Thomas moved at the end of it, making space for her.

“Here,” Barbara gently took Eugenia's needle. “You must be careful with the threads…”

While Barbara was explaining to Eugenia, Thomas was staring at the wall without blinking. He wanted to be alone. To write a new song. To train. He didn't want his sisters to babysit him.

Barbara laughed. Her laugh was soft, quiet, warming up something in your chest.

“It's alright, Nia. It's hard.” She stood up again. “I'll bring some of my materials. Wait a second.” Then she left the room, heading towards her bedroom.

“Damn it,” Eugenia said, angrily throwing her work at the table. “Stupid, useless thing.”

She hid her face with her hands and took a few breaths. Thomas, unsure what he could do to comfort his sister, approached her. He slowly hugged her, wrapping his short hands around her. 

She looked at him. Her eyes were wet. But as she blinked a few times the tears disappeared. Eugenia hated people seeing her cry.

She hugged Thomas across his shoulders, almost crushing him in a hug.

After a few seconds he murmured, “You're stopping my oxygen.”

A devilish smile broke on her face.

“This is not my problem. I'm a big sister, I have duties of annoying my little brother.”

Thomas giggled and tried to fight her off. They ended up falling on the couch, laughing. 

Barbara was standing on the door, smiling, while she watched them.

•

The day his parents decided he was ready to go to the Academy, Thomas had conflicted feelings. On one side this meant he wasn’t looked at like a fragile little boy. On the other hand - he had to deal with people. He was worried he wouldn't find friends. Or he would do something stupid and everyone would laugh at him.

The night before his first day at the Academy Thomas couldn’t sleep.

But in the end everything turned out fine. Even better than he expected to. He had a whole group of friends. While there, he missed the solitude he once had. He missed being alone with his own thoughts. But he liked being here. To talk with so many people who weren't his family.

There was one thing he couldn’t escape. That worry on everyone’s faces. He agreed to go to the Academy because he wanted to go away from his overprotective sisters and worrying parents. But sometimes he could see the same worry on his friends’ faces. Maybe it was all in his head. But he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that since they once knew him as a sickly boy, they forever would see him as a sickly boy.

The only one who didn’t have this worry on his face was Alastair Carstairs.

•

Thomas was aware he was becoming ridiculous. But he wasn’t sure he could stop.

He didn’t want to be Alastair's puppy that follows him everywhere. Matthew hated him. James was bullied by him. Alastair was nasty to everyone. But still. 

Thomas couldn’t explain it but there was something in Alastair Carstairs that was… extraordinary.

Sometimes Thomas would spot Alastair looking at him when he thought no one was watching. He was turning away quickly and called him “pipsqueak” or “half pint”. Thomas’ heart was starting to beat very fast when this happened. Like a small song was trapped in his heart and Alastair’s closnesses was making it louder.

Shortly after James, Matthew and Christopher were expelled, he found himself in an old room in the Academy. It was all dust and dirt that made his lungs ache. But he stayed because there was an old piano in it.

It made him smile. He took out his notebook with songs and sat in front of it. He was happy to touch it, to feel its coldness and steadiness. It was refreshing. 

Eventually he decided to examine the rest of the room. It was stuffed with books and old furniture. 

“Pipsqueak?” 

Thomas jumped. He turned and saw Alastair next to the piano. 

“What are you doing here, pixie?”

“Um” Thomas said. “Just looking around.”

Alastair’s gaze slowly moved to the piano. Thomas’ heart stopped. His notebook was there. Alastair was going to see his notebook.

“T-That’s nothing-”

But Alastair was already reaching for the book. He grabbed it from the stand. Thomas started to tremble. He hurried towards the other boy.

“Please, this is just-”

“Wait a second, tea cup,” without much effort he avoided Thomas’ attempts to take his notebook back. He was scanning the pages and then glanced at Thomas. Looked back at the page.

“That's not bad, pipsqueak,” then he gave him back the notebook, turned around and before leaving the room stopped. Turned to him. “You should let me play this sometime,” Alastair said and left the room.

Thomas' heart was beating fast. He was still trembling but for other reasons. His face was hot.

He glanced at the song Alastair had looked at. It was his first song. Did he really like it? Did he really want to play it?

Thomas hugged his notebooks, smiling, because he imagined how Alastair was playing his song.

But this never happened.

•

“You damn Shadowhooligans,” Polly murmured. “Don't have demons to hunt or something?” she sounded annoyed but said this with a smile. 

The four boys, giggling, headed towards their room where James managed to make their exclusive place in the Devil's Tavern.

Thomas was happy. He felt alive. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so reckless, so independent from his family. A time when he could just be.

As he looked at James and Matthew he thought how lucky they are. To find themselves parabatai. They were so different, not just by appearance. James was more quiet natured, more into stories and books. Matthew was loud, bohemian and liked being around people. Yet they somehow made it work.

Sometimes Thomas dreamed of having the same bond with somebody. The only one he could think of was Christopher. He was his brother in every way except blood. But he knew they weren't like this. Christopher would be kind of Shadowhunter Thomas wasn't and vica versa. And he couldn't imagine being with someone like Matthew - he loved him with his whole heart - but Thomas would prefer somebody more like James or himself.

Probably the parabatai-hood wasn't for him after all.

•

“I believe you'll like it there, son,” Gideon said to Thomas. “It helped me a great deal when I was your age.”

Thomas was packing clothes. He soon would turn eighteen and he was going to his travel year. He was scared. And anxious. But so excited at the same time. He looked forward to it for months.

“I hope so,” he said while putting a few shirts in his pack. “I will have a great opportunity to practice my Spanish.” 

Gideon smiled. “Indeed.”

He watched Thomas pack for a few minutes with a warm smile.

“Tom,” he said quietly. Thomas turned to him. Gideon hesitated. “I came to realize that all the attention and care the family took for you were necessary but… that they may have been a burden for you.”

Thomas looked at the floor. Gideon put a hand on his shoulder.

“You never said so, I know. This is what you do. But I have noticed it. When you're annoyed at the overprotectiveness of your sisters, at your mum and I when we put some restrictions on what to do, especially when you were younger.” 

Thomas looked at his father. His face was kind, gentle.

“It's alright. When I was your age I did similar things. I was silent for… some things. You know the story of your grandfather. But going to Spain had a really good influence on me. It helped me grow outside my father's control. I hope it can do the same for you. I strongly believe when you have the chance to be on your own and far away from all the people that overwhelm you with their care, you'll do great.”

Thomas' eyes were wet. He blinked a few times, trying to chase the tears away. 

“I… I don't want to be away from you.”

Gideon hugged him and gently squeezed him. Thomas buried his face in his father's chest.

“I know,” he said. “I also know that this can be scary and equally exciting. Just want to let you know… it's alright to feel this. All of this. Has always been and always will be. When you return you'll be changed. And our family, we'll be here, waiting for you.”

Thomas hugged his father too. It was alright. Everything was going to be alright. 

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice a little muffled.

Gideon kissed the top of his hair. “I love you too.”

[tloujm]

Part XXVI: Giving Grief

Author’s Notes: This is the first chapter I’ve posted in months (literally since April). I don’t know if this is a full comeback. I have a few chapters in the drafts that need to be edited and formatted for posting but after that, I still plan on continuing the series bc my plan was always have a long fic. With no new content after part II of the game was released, my interest in the fandom waned but was always there. Now with HBO creating a show based off the game, as well as me being apart of the Pedro Pascal fandom, I think I will soon become more consistent in posting as new content gets released. I will say that at least half of what appeals to me for Joel is Troy Baker’s voice and while I love Pedro’s voice too, I know it won’t be the same. I still think Pedro will do the voice justice bc he can do a damn fine country accent as seen in the movie Prospect on Netflix. If you’re a fan of his and have Netflix, please go watch it!

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You and Joel reconcile and bond over Ellie and Sarah. 

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Joel waited for you to come home. He paced back and forth in the kitchen switching from holding the card and setting it down on the counter. He was eager to talk to you about this new revelation partly because he was nervous to have the other conversation with you. After a while of calming his nerves down, you still hadn’t come home. The sun had set an hour ago and Joel was ready to throw on his boots and go looking for you. 

Just as he laced them up, the front door opened. You walked in and immediately stopped because his body blocked you from walking in the house further. 

“Going somewhere?” You asked as you slid past him. He was a grown man and could do what he wanted, but the thought of him leaving to go do other things before the issue between you was resolved upset you. 

He reached back down to unlace his boots. “Not anymore. I was ‘bout to head out and find you.”

“Why?” You asked dryly.

“I’d been waiting on you to come home for a couple of hours. We gotta talk.”

“You’re right, we do. I was helping Wendy walk the kids home from the daycare; that’s what held me up. I’m here now, though.” You leaned against the back of the couch and crossed your arms. The stance you took reminded you of what Joel would do.

He walked into the kitchen and came back. “Kiddo made this for us.”

You took it in your hands. “When did she have time to make this?” He shrugged. Your fingers brushed across the drawing of the hat before finally opening it. “Oh my God.” She looked at you for a split second before looking back down at her signature. “Her name has been ‘Ellie’ the whole time.”

“I know.” He commented. 

“She never said anything. All of us have asked her.”

“Technically, she still hasn’t spoken her name, but I guess she wasn’t ready for that.”

“She wasn’t ready to let anybody in.” You said. He nodded in agreement.

“Until now.” He walked up to you and pointed to her name on the card. “She’s doing so good, this Ellie. I can only try to imagine the horrors that she’s seen out in the world before she came to Jackson, but whatever happened out there, it led her to us. I’m...It’s just nice to see her opening up to this place.”

You understood what he was trying to say. “Yeah, I’m proud of her too.” You walked past him and into the kitchen to hang the card on the refrigerator. Joel followed. This time, his arms were crossed.

“(Y/N), I meant it when I said I was sorry back there. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“If you didn’t mean it, you wouldn’t have said it.” You rebutted.

“I was upset with you because I expected you to react the same as me when Ellie climbed up that T-Rex, but I don’t want a carbon copy of myself. I love you and want to have a family with you because you are wise beyond your years, confident even if you don’t always think so, responsible even for things that aren’t your responsibility and most importantly, you’re level headedness. Where I have a tendency to lose my cool in certain situations, you are guided by this calm...patient sense of will that I envy.” He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, giving you the opportunity to say something. Seeing that you were still soaking in his words, he continued. “You’ll be a great mother. I saw it in the gentle way you juggled all those kids at the daycare. I saw it in the way you took care of Ellie the first day she came here. You’ll see though, if it’s meant for us to have a baby, how difficult it is to stop worrying. It didn’t stop when Sarah....even when I tried to push those feelings away. It doesn’t stop. I know she’s not her, but it’s hard for me to just stand by and watch her do something that could hurt her.”

“I wasn’t standing by, or at least that wasn’t my intention. I wanted to give her space. She’s so delicate, or maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t treat her like she’s some glass figurine. I just wanted her to grow comfortable with us by trusting her. Believe me, it wasn’t easy for me to do when there was nothing personally for me to go off of, but then I thought, she’s lived out there for God knows how long by herself. She’s not only seen things but has been able to survive things. It’s hard to see how clever someone is when they won’t let you in, but I knew she had to be to have made it this far. I get it though. I’ve never been a parent. I can only sympathize with your worries. I can not empathize with you until I’ve been where you have. I’m sorry too. I could have found a way to give her space without allowing her to be in such a dangerous spot. You must be disappointed in me.”

He moved up to you and placed his hands on your shoulder. “I’m not. Look at me. I’m not disappointed in you. She was both of our responsibilities earlier.” He brought you into a tight hug. “You’re right, she is smart. She felt comfortable enough to show a side of herself that no one else has seen. You know why? ‘Cause she felt safe around us. Despite the grief she put me through, it was nice to see her so happy.”

“I know it was, wasn’t it? I can’t believe she jumped though! I didn’t think she’d go that far.”

“At the end of the day, kids will be kids. It’s not an excuse to slack off on raising ‘em, but there's just a certain wild and carefree nature that every kid has. It’s instilled in their DNA or somethin’ and then it fades away as they get older, about the time their back starts to ache.” Joel chuckled as he explained. He kissed the top of your head before pulling away to get a good look at you. He made a face as if to ask if you were ok. You nodded. He took your hand and pulled you into the living room. You sat down next to him. “She reminds me of Sarah sometimes. Ellie’s about the same age as her. She ran me through the ringer, raising that one.” He chuckled at the memories. “I wouldn’t trade it in for the world, being her dad, but you shoulda seen the amount of grief she put me through. Especially being a single parent.” He wiped his hand across his face, letting it linger along the length of his neck. “One time, she snuck off to some skate park when I told her no. She was in this skateboarding phase. I bought her a customized skateboard for her birthday and she would practice using it up and down the driveway. She had barely learned that little flippy trick when she asked me to take her to the skate park. I told her no because it looked like it was for experienced skaters. I wanted her to practice more first. To say the least, she was mad at me. She told me she was staying after school for the science club, but she really went to the skate park with some friends. By the time I figured out where she was, I found her lying in the grass, holding her arm in pain. Turned out she had a hairline fracture in her...radius?” He pointed to the bone on his arm. You nodded that it was in fact called radius. “I grounded her for lying to me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have taken her to the park. I mean I’m no expert on skateboarding, but at least I could have been there to supervise; make sure she wasn’t on one of those tough looking ramps.”

“Did you ever take her skateboarding after she healed up?”

“After the cast came off, she switched interests to soccer. I installed a shelf on one of her walls to hang the skateboard on. Better that than being stuffed under her bed. Soccer was her life though. She made new friends from the team, won titles, learned tricks with the ball. Me and Tommy were regulars at her games. I was...am proud of her.”

You smiled as you envisioned his memories. “Did she give you grief with that as well?”

He nodded in an exaggerated way. “Oh yeah, but I’m sure I used to give her grief too.” You lifted your eyebrows with desire for him to elaborate. “I may or may not have argued with the coach and ref on a few occasions regarding plays.”

“You never dated any of the soccer moms?” You teased.

He scoffed. “Most of them were married and the ones who weren’t, I sent Tommy’s way instead. He wasn’t mad at it.” The two of you chuckled. “I did flirt with a few, married or not, so I could get my hands on some of their homemade baked goods.”

“I was under the assumption that soccer moms made food for everyone.”

“They did, but I still wanted a few more cupcakes for the ride home.” He admitted as you laughed. “Listen, I had a busy life. I didn’t have much time to hone my baking skills, so it was nice to be able to have homemade cakes and cookies for a change.

“Well, if you wanted cookies, that’s all you had to say! I can show you how to bake right now.”

“It’s late.” He reasoned.

“It’s never too late to feed your sweet tooth.” You rebutted as you pulled him back into the kitchen.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes

                                                 *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading! 

                                              previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter 

*Word Count: 2.9K+.

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint). 

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.

                                                  -*-

Raul was fucked. 

He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked. 

Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created. 

And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N. 

So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach. 

And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true. 

“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.

Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”

“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late” 

“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”

“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”

Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior. 

He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.

Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.

They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.

“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”

“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.

Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.

“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.

“Oh hi”

“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck” 

“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.

“I know, I know that” 

Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?” 

“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit. 

“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.

“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town” 

“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”

“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity” 

Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.

“Boyfriend? Is he here?”

“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”

“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?” 

“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.

Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”

“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one” 

“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”

Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby” 

Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”

“Geonoff, darling” he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.

And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”

“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”

“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”

“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.

Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”

“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”

“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.

“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please” 

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.

“Do you want anything, baby?”

“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”

Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.

“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.

Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”

“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’. 

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.

“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.

“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.

“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.

Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid” 

As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.

Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.

“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.

Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”

“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you” 

“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.

Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”

“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.

Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her. 

“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”

“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.

“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.

“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.

“Why me?!”

“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp. 

“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked 

Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“

“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering. 

“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch. 

Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her. 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”

“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”

“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”

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-🌙