#lactation kink kinda popped off lol

[joelsbeard]

haha it’s me again, ur writing is srsly addicting you’re never getting rid of me😝

could u mby write some hcs for joel and reader when they’re parents? let’s say they had sarah and she’s in the energetic kiddie stage so they literally never get to fuck anymore because they have to worry about her all the time, so when they do get some alone time they js go crazy with it?

little specific and i’m sorry about that😭😭 js wanted to see what ur thots on this areeee<333

LMAO the pre-outbreak!joel horny gets to all of us!!! I'm also planning on writing some fluffier stuff too with joel, reader, sarah, and ellie as well :)

Joel would be so understanding with not pushing you to do anything you don't want to, especially after giving birth. He tells you he'll wait as long as he needs to until you're ready ❤️ You also can't keep your hands off your man tho lol so you end up waiting ~ 2 months to have sex (doesn't mean you weren't fooling around before tho hehe)

He loved your body before you were pregnant, while you were pregnant, and after giving birth!! He thinks the extra meat on you (lol) and cute little lightning marks are adorable bc it just means you went through all of carrying and growing his baby and giving birth ❤️🥺

And he's always like "you're so beautiful thank you for growing our babies and protecting them for 9 months 🥺"

Obviously once you have sarah you guys are sleep deprived as hell during the little free time you get, but you also enjoy just spending time together as a family of 3 or just having the time to cuddle when she's asleep or if tommy is helping watch her.

Your first time together after giving birth is probably a little nerve wracking but it ends up all just being in your head since you and joel make sure to go slow, and if anything is sore he always stops to check in with you first 🥺

Once you adjust and it starts feeling good you're like "godd, did you get thicker since last time? You feel so fucking big babe🥺😭" and joel almost cums right there hearing you say how big he is 🥵 meanwhile he just laughs and is like "you're too sweet baby. But god you feel so damn tight, I can feel you squeezing my cock, you feel so damn good baby" and bc its been 2 months he's trying his best not to cum in like 5 seconds lol

Joel Miller is a tits man. I mean tbh he loves your tits and your ass, even your tummy and lil toes lol but if he was held at gunpoint and needed to pick one I would think he's a tits man.

He probably went nuts when you were pregnant watching your tits get huge lol, even when sarah's nursing he'll look over and be like "those were mine first little miss, fyi 😠" LOL or he'll always find excuses to stop what he was doing just so he can watch you and look at your tiddies like 😍 😭 men 🙄

Sarah and ellie probably both prefer eating directly from the boob vs bottles lol and whenever it's joels turn to take care of them he tries to give you alone time so you can rest, so when ellie or sarah are hungry and he has to feed them with the bottle and they wrinkle their noses and push his hand away he's like "i know, i'd prefer the real thing too huh babygirl, but you gotta work with me here so mama can get some rest" LMAO

I'm not gonna lie, once you and joel are fully sexually active again after 2 months, since it can be so hard for you to find time together and you also don't wanna leave sarah with someone else yet, when she's dead to the world you probably get a little handsy with each other 😭 you're like, she's only 3 months and she's asleep, she's not gonna be aware of what we're doing 😭. You guys are just too desperate for each other to let that opportunity slide lol. Or sometimes she'll be in her bassinet, her crib, or in her play pen and you and joel will take the baby monitor and go to some part of the house so he can finally rail you 😭

When she's around 3 or 4 and is more independent, you'll have tommy babysit her for a couple of hours at his house or something so you guys can finally get some alone time (thank god for uncle tommy lol) and he knows you two ask him to babysit to give yourselves a little break from running around after her, but also bc he knows yall need some of that alone time lol.

It was hard the first couple of times you had someone else watch sarah (even if its tommy) bc you and joel are such helicopter parents and you're always worried about your lil babygirl lol, but you guys also missed having that time between just the two of you

Joel probably gets a little more handsy with you at home than usual bc with taking care of sarah it's not like you can fuck when you want to, so he just has to settle for giving you more ass grabs and grinding his bulge against your ass like a perv when he hugs you from behind LMAOO

It's not always him that initiates it though, you'll rub your foot up and down his leg sometimes or wiggle your ass on his crotch lol and he'll be like "you think it's funny to tease me like that knowing i can't do anything huh baby? just wait til i get you back for that" but he can never tease you too bad bc he wants you too much and he feels bad sometimes when he makes you beg too much lol

When your milk ducts are clogged you know damn well who's helping you out with them lol. I mean, what can he do it's not like he wants to see his girl in pain 🥺 it's just a bonus that he enjoys helping lol. He's like I ain't no bitch if my girl's in pain imma help her even if it means i have to drink her damn breastmilk lol (not that he even minds it in the first place tho 😭 he basically gets an excuse to suck on your tiddies)

Or sometimes they get so full and sore and you're just like :( "babe my boobs are so sore :(" and joel of course is like 😈 "oh no my poor baby, you want me to hold them for you?" you always say yes lol, and maybe end up fucking oop

It probably turns him on knowing that not only did you carry and grow his baby for 9 months but that even after birth you continue to nurture her from your own body bc women are just amazing like that lol

When Sarah was around 4-5 you guys were full on fucking in the morning and you made the mistake of not locking your door (you were still getting used to having a child living in your house lol) and she ran in bc she wanted to bug you two to ask for breakfast. thank god she doesn't remember it much afterwards (but you and joel do 😳) and you just told her you were having a really big hug before you sent her to her room saying you'd be there in a minute. Poor joel basically went totally soft after that 😭

Other times you'd just make sure she was really focused on playing with her little dolls or watching a movie and you and joel would go to your room to fuck 😭

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon

I read your Hibernation Fic and I love it so much! I even thought about some potential fetishes Naga Risotto might have before and after mating season (I want to hear your opinions and thoughts about them)

I feel like Naga Risotto will have a weird obsession watching Darling eat since her mouth is so small (Since she can’t dislocate her jaw like he can when he eats his prey) and she eats all her food in such tiny sized bites (It might act up his lust, but he’s trying to be patient until Spring)

He’s definitely anticipating Spring, as he intends to make Darling’s stomach round and swollen with his eggs (You think Darling’s body would act as a sort of incubator to keep the eggs warm as they grow and form) then a few days before they hatch will Darling have to pop them out? But since they have soft shells they probably won’t hurt her (But for her safety the eggs are actually very small)

Do you think Risotto would develop an obsession when Darling starts to lactate when he gets her pregnant? He probably didn’t know Human bodies could produce milk, so he might suckle and massage them to relieve Darling of her soreness, even if she doesn’t want him to do that (He might develop a taste for her milk and is happy to find out she’ll lactate when she’s pregnant, thus he’ll try to breed her constantly, like a rabbit 😭)

Out of curiosity, what species of snake do you think Risotto would be? A Black Mamba? Or maybe a King Cobra? (King Cobras tend to lay 20 to 40 eggs, while a Black Mambas can lay 6 to 20 eggs)

Sorry if this is weird, I have a deep love and obsession with Reptiles, I love everything about them

Don't worry about it, as someone who loves snakes too I get it. Besides I'm a massive fact collector lol.

In terms of species I think the king kobra works best because of it's apex predator status, their extremely slow metabolism as well as the fact that they build nests.

And oh lord the fetishes.

The watching darling eat thing originally starts as a "caring gesture" because his kind tends to eat alot more and he assumes darling is under eating. I think it kinda stems back to a size kink, she's way smaller then him and he finds that cute.

He really tries to hold off on his urges til spring. As he doesn't want to scare darling off or have her get all defensive.

Usually with Nagas they live in solidarity, only searching for one another during mating season and leaving very shortly after, so having a lifelong partner is a very rare thing for his species. There have been tales spread of a few Nagas that claimed humans as their mates, so it's not a completely foreign concept but an oddity still with not a lot of knowledge is shared about the experience.

So seeing how darlings belly swells with his eggs is surely a sight to behold. It's endearing to see how well she's taking his clutch for him. He's going to be pepper her in kisses the whole time and showering her in praise the entire time.

And the lactation kink oh boy. One taste and he's hooked, the moment he sees darling lactate he's already latched on. It's not like the clutch are going to need it.

[1kook]

A COLLECTION  [ updated: 8 . 23 . 21 ]

— STATUS ONGOING — NO REPOSTS — ASKS under #ncouple ! — Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr

—NETFLIX & CHILL.

summary If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.  warnings smut in the forms of grinding, oral (f), cum eating, vanilla unprotected sex, dirty talk misc use of the oldest trick in the book (“your hands are sooo big”), shy oblivious AND gentleman jk? pick a struggle, brief ment of app developer kook, evil and conniving oc  word count 10.2k  posted june 12, 2020

—HULU & WOOHOO.

summary But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. warnings slight feelings of insecurity, smut in the forms of fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, hand jobs, unprotected sex, riding, slight praise kink  misc if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read word count 6.3k posted july 4, 2020

—IMAX & CLIMAX.

summary The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl (? kinda), daddy kink that morphs into ily kink misc  jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count 9.8k posted august 5, 2020

—KISSANIME & FOREPLAY.

summary You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings mentions of hentai, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 word count 8.2k posted september 1, 2020

—DISNEY+ & BUST.

summary There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.   warnings arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of humiliation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment (? idk lol), unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, the return of mean jk, desperate jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf misc angst, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count 13k posted september 9, 2020

—ESPN & BDSM.

summary You would like to personally thank every loud-mouthed, ESPN commentator out there for saving you from Jungkook’s dangerous seduction skills.   warnings smut in the forms of brief femdom, handcuffs, nipple clamps, blindfolding, flogging/use of a riding crop, soft dom kook, cunnilingus, spitting, unprotected but passionate, degradation, as always it starts horny n then turns into I love u kink misc kook has a swollen ankle so idk how he did all this, jk abuses the fuck outta pet names part 7, revenge gone wrong tbh, this was honestly a beginner’s intro to vanilla bdsm word count 12.7k posted september 14, 2020

—YOUTUBE & USE LUBE.

summary You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. warnings smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, tit fucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook misc domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3 word count 8.7k   posted september 30, 2020

—VIKI & HICKEYS.

summary Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.   warnings a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries, jk is a good boy n I want him to be happy   misc there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide word count 16.3k posted january 14, 2021

—PEACOCK & SWEET TALK.

summary “I wanna watch Solange in Bring It On,” Jungkook smiles, and you have to wonder who exactly this blond man is and what he did with your teen-movie-hating boyfriend.   warnings smut in the forms of kissing, cunnilingus (eating out + fingering), light praise, a lil body worship, jk fat cawk, brief nipple play, playful jk, unprotected sex, riding and missionary, the jk hand kink, I love you kink, jk wants nudes, jk’s cheerleader fantasies mentioned, spit kink, light choking, jk has like a scent kink (?), mention of collars and pet play misc app developer jk becomes even MORE app developer-y, oc is anti-google, there's plot, a 2 year anniversary, Solange knowles appreciation, BLOND JK!!!, gets sappy for a sec, seahorse marriage mention, doyeon x joon side pairing, jk is disgustingly dreamy and oc is threatened by that fact word count 10.7k posted march 23, 2021

— CRUNCHYROLL & RAIL.

summary Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. warnings smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… misc fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality word count 8.7k posted may 21, 2021

—FUNIMATION & PROCREATION.

summary Never mind your upcoming wedding, this was perhaps the greatest moment of your life— the day Jungkook sought out an anime on his own. warnings kissing, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, cum eating, mentions of anal, doggy style, unprotected sex with the intention of pregnancy, spitting, hand holding<3 misc the wedding night, Doyeon strikes again, jjk watches  jjk, oh no not twins word count 9.1k posted july 31, 2021

—BOOMERANG AND BANG. 

coming soon

—COOKIES & CREAM.

summary Jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy Christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (And maybe having his dick sucked.) warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, face fucking, cum facials, fingering, overstim, double orgasm, r*mantic sex, riding, unprotected, cream pies, jk does this weird thing where he licks her face yeah idk, jk loves seeing his gf cry, jk has an obsession with jizz   misc jk pov !!, eggnog slander, jk hates xmas movies, oc dresses like a sexy mrs claus, Elf !!, jk is in loooove word count 7.1k posted december 23, 2020

— TUTUS & TIARAS.

summary your first pregnancy through the lens of your husband warnings smut in the forms of penetrative sex, sex while pregnant, unprotected sex, tit play, cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, sticking the tip in and jacking off/cockwarming?, creampies, nose kink (? like she grinds against his nose), infatuation with scent, frottage/grinding, lactation kink, titluvr jk [bass boosted] misc married ncouple <3, domesticity, jk pov, mood swings, pregnancy, GIRLDAD!JK, DILF!JK, pregnant!reader, jk’s kids are virgos its true  word count 10k posted august 23, 2021

— one.

summary Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same.  word count 1.3k posted September 10, 2020

—two.

summary Even after all these years, all these doubts, and all this solitude that was really no one’s fault but his own, he still finds himself hoping that maybe you’ll be the one. word count 1k posted september 11, 2020

—three.

summary But Jungkook loves the sun. word count 1.5k posted september 12th, 2020

—four.

summary For the last ten minutes or so his mind has been bothered by one thing and one thing only— the hair that hung in his face. word count 800 words posted september 22, 2020

—five.

summary Startled and inexperienced, he can’t do anything but rub his hands over your back. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he murmurs, even though it’s not. word count 1.3k posted september 22, 2020

—six.

SUMMARY Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out. WC 1.8k POSTED september 25, 2020

—seven.

summary And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare. It’s a perfect plan. word count 2k posted october 30, 2020

—eight.

summary You always do this— always ask for more. You take and you take until there’s nothing left for Jungkook to give. But Jungkook is the same.   word count 1.9k posted december 28, 2020

—nine.

summary “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?” word count 2.2k posted january 8 2021

—ten.

summary See, there’s no one in this world who ignores his house rules more than you. Even worse, there’s no one on this planet who can make Jungkook ignore his own rules like you do. word count 1.4k posted february 14, 2021

—eleven.

summary You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small. word count 1.2k posted may 3, 2021

—twelve.

summary Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. word count 1.4k posted may 8th, 2021

—thirteen.

summary Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today.   word count 1k posted june 13, 2021

—fourteen.

summary Jungkook needs you to know that you can always count on him. word count 1.3k posted july 6, 2021

—fifteen.

summary It’s Jungkook’s teenage fantasy— being pushed down by a cheerleader. word count 3.1k posted august 9, 2021

— sixteen.

summary Your skin is warm and smells like sunshine. Jungkook can’t really explain it. (And also like the sunscreen you had doused him in earlier, but that isn’t as romantic.) word count 1.9K posted august 11, 2021

—seventeen.

summary She looks his way and suddenly Jungkook is nineteen again, in his dorm, listening to the first person he ever thought he loved telling him he’s too much to handle. word count 1.6k posted august 18, 2021

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cute and cozy gif by the lovely @ladyartemesia​ 

LASTLY: 

[sjweminem]

Do you have any like really weird kinks? I want to send more outlandish Mobius concepts but only the crazy stuff like lactation is fun to write and I want to make sure you're having fun with the stuff that gets sent.

If you don't really care, maybe I should ask if you have limits for these asks? Things you will not publish?

And do you prefer readerxMobius or prezLokixMobius?

i have no problem answering very personal questions or talking about dark/taboo/etc subjects. i simply don't make a habit of doing it of my own accord cuz that feels annoying and self-centered lol but i think if you're a person who's willing to share the Ugly, you ought to do it, since most people won't, and there are likely folks in similar positions to you who feel alone and "wrong" for their feelings. if i ever receive an ask that crosses a line, i won't get mad. I'll just say i'm not comfortable giving those details.

putting my actual answer under a cut- TW for CSA and violence (and just..generally preeeeetty disturbing shit??)

i actually had way weirder kinks as a very little kid, just cuz that's how i privately processed my m*lest*tion (about which i LEGIT don't give a shit to this day lol) at 3 or 4. for instance that's also when i began m*sturbating and it was always to thoughts/depictions of people being seriously injured. i did not know what m*sturbation even WAS till age like....12 or 13? but as young as i was, i somehow knew this was something to keep to myself ALONE. so in childhood i never let anybody see me j/o or admit to my very, VERY weird f*tishes. now i'm almost 30 so i don't remember what they all were, just that the pain and suffering of others, regardless of age, gender, or even species to an extent really did it for me (fortunately family was off-limits). medical settings and procedures were also a big turn-on for preschool and elementary school me, and a lot of my artwork from that time which we've kept reflects that (although i'm the only one who knows they were, to little kid me, er*tic in nature. cuz who the fuck would suspect that from a 4 year old lol.

while i had a crippling fear of being sick or injured myself, i loooooooved blood. In That Way. in middle school i began writing fanfics about, and making fanart of, my most beloved characters getting r*ped at very young ages. like, a lot of it. constantly. or i'd draw them severely injured/violently tortured by any means i thought up. again, this was something i instinctively knew needed to stay private and i had this bigass binder full of VERY disturbing artwork and writing hidden in my room.

anyways i could write books upon books on this chunk of my life 😭 nowadays, however, i am comparatively vanilla i guess? my fantasies are far less violent but i consider myself a very dominant person- i.e. i'd like to be the one doing the punishing/humiliating/etc. not that there aren't occasional exceptions, but for the most part i'm not interested in being the one on the business end of the whips and chains. honestly i think this has just carried over from my childhood when i had my fucked up fantasies, except now things like safety and consent matter to me. crossdressing is also Nice.

lactation doesn't do anything for me, and i used to have a major aversion to pregnancy, but now i can kinda..appreciate certain things about it....i just wouldn't consider it a wholeass kink cuz a lot of parameters need to be met for me to appreciate it in a sexual way. i don't care for traditional mpreg (i.e. cis men getting knocked up) but trans mpreg is fine. i mean, just look at how often pregnancy popped up in my trans pete AU! but it's less about the pregnancy and more about capitalizing on the hormonal shit it brings, like the person being especially horny, or their partner just like worshipping their body and other intimate shit.

and don't worry, i personally have no negative emotions about what happened to me in my preschool years, truly i don't care. more than anything i find it fascinating to pick apart the lingering effects and the ways in which it shaped me sexually.

OH, and to answer your LAST question......fuck that's a hard one!!!! but i think, if it's written well, i prefer prez loki/mobius but only by the tiiiiiiiiiniest margin!!!!

[jlf23tumble]

Fic rec anon here, and I'm blanking in the moment! I know you have a lot of recs and I love them all. Maybe your favourite AUs? Broadly speaking? Seeing some of them might help jog me into more specific categories ! xx

Gotcha, sort of like my prison rec list, only I like to think of it more in terms of what would I have on my phone to read when I’m bored and traveling, lol. Obvs, this sort of list is super hard, but having it focused on AUs kinda helps? At any rate, this isn’t a deep dive, it’s just my top level, so hopefully it’ll spark you. These are in no particular order, so come back if you want more!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, by Blake (honestly, ANYTHING in this fandom by Blake, I file this one under hot and hilarious, but every line is just swooooon). Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a makeup artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full-time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles.Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right.

Once Upon a Dream, by objectlesson (again, ANYTHING by Phoenix, and most of it is canon, but where to even start with her AUs, jesus god, I struggled to rec just one, so I went with the AU she gifted me, ilu!!!!). “M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay.” Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

knock knock, i love you, by @thelovejandles aka beautlouis (another one of my fave authors in this fandom, proof that wips DO finish, and they’re absolutely worth it). Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

Tied Down, by @ham-palpert (the twists and turns here, my goddd, just masterful) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere (needs ao3 account; I love desert roadtrips, and this captures that vibe perfectly, plus it’s hilarious). For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. Or, a roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by @magicalrocketships aka sunsetsmog (aka the very best wip on earth, I weep with joy whenever I get the notif). In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker. Or Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

just call me inspiration, by @hereforlou (in which I *am* Liam Payne, porn editor!) The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

Buried Like Treasure, by @becomeawendybird aka quickedween (marcel marcel marcel!!!). Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps. Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

into another serotonin overflow, by @mercutionotromeo (this story packs a LOT into a little, it helped inspire my sideblog with smaller fic recs, actually). Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.

Turning Page, by @daisyharry aka purpledaisy (pretty much every on-set picture I see of Harry these days just makes me tag it for this fic). “You wanna buy Harry a drink?” Louis lets his eyes drip back to Harry, to his wide eyes and the way his shoulders curve down. He really is pretty – Louis will be the first one to admit it and the last one to ever say it out loud. Louis almost smirks and his lips twitch as he tilts his head, “Not particularly, no.” An AU where Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

hush. by wankerville (this story is achingly evocative of just about every shitty small American town, but my god is it beautiful, the sweetness of how it ends). “I don't like you like that, Harry.” “See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.” Or an AU where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

Three French Hems, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (I wish I could pick just ONE of my top three from these two, but alas...do persimmons smell like come? discuss).  In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (see above, pretty much, and how happy I am that the tweets still show up! with Dame Julie Andrews even!!). Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry's just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat... until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

Wild and Unruly, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (Iconic, even the abstract is iconic, everything still holds up. oh for cute, etc. etc.). Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by loadedgunn (another one that inspired my sideblog dedicated to short fics! So much greatness packed in, Jesus, it’s in my top five for sure). Louis reenacts his first time, and Harry wants to be his good girl.

“burn this flame” by @rainbowninja aka rainbowninja167 (anytime I reread this, I smile...filed under hot and hilarious). When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.

Challenging Nature: A Look into Male Lactation, by @jaerie (hands down, one of my fave kinks, handled fantastically well...and this isn’t the author’s only one!).  Even taking into account all the bizarre things Harry has subjected himself to in the past for the sake of an article, Harry has received his strangest assignment yet. It comes up as a random misunderstanding in a meeting and builds into a conversation — can men breastfeed? Internet searches reveal documented cases of male lactation popping up at different times throughout history, but are any of them true? Can a man will himself into lactating? Harry has two months to make it happen.

like how your hands feel me up and down, by ballsdeepinjesus (this author wrote a lot of my faves back in the day, I have so many ~thoughts about the amazing writers in this particular era). “It’s -- you’re tight,” Louis chokes. “It’s tight, I mean. It’s. Yes.” His hand is curved around his hip now, squeezing lightly. “Tight’s good, right?” Harry murmurs, batting his eyelashes. He almost can’t believe himself. “Very good,” Louis grunts. Or louis works in a halloween shop and harry needs a costume.

baby look what you've done to me, by ballsdeepinjesus (see above; even the username kills me). The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. Or louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.

Take Our Bodies Higher, by @littlelouishiccups (I’m something of a connoisseur of the phone sex trope, so the way this author flips it and makes *Harry* the operator plus what ensues? chef’s kiss!). Harry wasn’t often caught off guard at his job anymore. He called different men Sir, Master, or Daddy for work almost every week, but he’d never been told he was a good boy in a voice quite like that. In which Harry is a phone sex operator and Louis dials a wrong number.

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles (I’d rec this for their jobs alone, but everything in it, just wow). “Do you think you could trust anyone enough to have full control over you?” he asks into the night, hoping his sentence won’t break their bubble. It doesn’t, if the way Harry’s eyes meet his is any indication.“What do you mean?” Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper, rough from the singing they had done earlier. Louis wants to keep this memory forever.“You know, if someone wanted to, uhm,” he coughs, “to tie you up, or blindfold you.” Or a friends to lovers AU where Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan.

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, by sarcasticfluentry (needs ao3 account; I often stare at the wall and wonder what another installment in this universe would be, fuckkkkk, it’s so good, I only wish the social media was still in it). 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

If You Asked Me if I Love Him (I'd Lie), by allyasavedtheday (needs an ao3 account; it’s a sequel, but I reread it over and over vs. the first piece).  Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styleses who definitely don't believe them.

Damn, I could go on, but I’ll stop! My sideblog dedicated to short fics is @marathonficbreak, and it has some smaller ones, if this is too intimidating, lmao...hope some of them are new for you, enjoy!