#i feel like this probably 65% of the time if not more

[the-way-astray]

WAIT PLZ ELABORATE ABT THE ALDEN IS BETTER THAN GRADY? IM SO CURIOUS /gen

alright, anon, and everyone else i’m tagging. originally, this was going to be a "this is why alden is a better father than grady" rant, since it was supposed to include an argument defending some of alden's most controversial parenting choices and also point out grady's worst parenting choices. but i dropped the grady portion, so now this is just an alden defense rant containing two sections ("the forbidden cities" and "keefe's flashback short story breakdown"). so that's this entire post. i'll probably do the grady thing some other time, and it won't be as in-depth as this. probably, it will just be a bullet point list of some weird shit he does, and that's it.

taglist: @absolutely-existing @multi-fandom-lunatic @thatrandomlemononyourcounter1 @worldsunlikemyown @icantrememberwhoiwaslastdecember @lucentstarss

section one: the forbidden cities

the main gripe most people have with alden is probably the sending fitz and alvar into the forbidden cities thing. let’s talk about why this was decidedly not a shitty thing for alden to do.

part one: were fitz and alvar in any danger in the forbidden cities?

a lot of people try to make the argument that fitz and alvar, especially fitz, could've run into danger while in the forbidden cities. while there was no way to make it truly risk-free, i do think that these arguments are blown out of proportion. here's a quote:

(keeper, chapter 2)

fitz explicitly says that he was actually only sent to check alden’s guesses. he was not sent to wander around the forbidden cities looking for random girls. he was sent to confirm or deny alden’s theories, which alden came up himself (we can extrapolate and assume the same of alvar). which brings up an interesting point: many people claim alden should’ve done the search himself, instead of sending his six-year-old out to do it. to which i say, he . . . did? the only part of the search fitz was involved with was the confirmation. the rest was done entirely by alden and quinlin:

(keeper, chapter 10)

this, i think, was a necessary evil. first of all, alden is a grown man. he’s been looking for sophie since basically birth, and i think we can all understand why that’s not a fantastic look. sending someone closer to her age makes fitz more approachable (in theory, of course. in reality, not so much, sophie still ran from fitz). also, fitz can light leap. if he was ever in danger, it would’ve only ever been the work of a moment for him to safely get away. and like i said, it really seems like fitz and alvar were only there for as long as they needed to be to confirm the girl was or was not an elf. alvar flat out admits to this:

(neverseen, chapter 65)

as for fitz, notice the second part there. he agrees with alvar. he says he almost didn’t look past sophie’s eye color. and if you read the very first chapter, you can see that he wasn’t there for long at all. it’s very likely that when sophie first sees him with the newspaper, he just leaped in a few minutes ago, and he was planning on leaving as soon as he finished talking to sophie:

(keeper, chapter 1)

so we can conclude that each excursion that fitz or alvar took was probably not longer than ten to fifteen minutes. they never spent significant chunks of time in the forbidden cities. fitz likely took maybe a couple extra seconds to grab a random thing and leave, but that’s about it. not long enough for either of them to have run into any significant danger.

part two: how did this affect fitz and alvar's school lives?

okay, you say, the forbidden cities thing might be all well and good, but what about this quote? fitz describes how alden’s search affected his school life:

(everblaze, chapter 21)

now, it is unfortunate that fitz missed a lot of school because of the search. but he doesn’t seem too torn up about it (this entire exchange with sophie here reads as very light-hearted), which i feel is relevant. this passage mostly talks about fitz's social life, and how people didn't want to hang out with him because he was disappearing all the time. though the fact remains that i genuinely don't think fitz cared all that much about this at all. he seems to be a bit of a loner at heart, not really having many friends besides keefe, biana, and biana's friend(s), like maruca. this continues even after he and keefe become "cool", so while the search clearly took a toll on his social life, it really doesn't seem to bother him that much. and i really think alden would’ve left the choice of whether or not to participate in the search up to his kids, not forcing them if they absolutely didn't want to participate. so in the case that fitz did decide he didn't want to skip so much school, i think alden would've been fine with booting him from the search. here’s a quote from alvar:

(neverseen, chapter 65)

he specifically states that the reasons he did the search were to keep his dad happy and to sneak away to the forbidden cities. also, the fact that sophie even asked this question and got a serious answer back already implies that fitz and alvar had "reasons" of their own for wanting to do the search, like the ones alvar states here. as in, their reason was not "my dad made me do it". (we're going to ignore the fact that alvar's reason likely had way more to do with helping the neverseen find sophie than anything.)

so okay, maybe alvar's just saying that, maybe he doesn't actually feel like that. to that i say, let’s look at this quote, a quote after alvar’s true colors have been revealed:

(flashback, chapter 49)

even though he is literally ranting about his parents here, nowhere, not even once, does he mention or even imply that alden forced, manipulated, or otherwise pressured him to do the search. if alvar truly held any ill will toward alden for sending him on the search, now would be the perfect time to express that. yet he doesn’t. we can extrapolate and assume the same of fitz: that alden didn’t in any way try to manipulate or trick fitz into going. i honestly believe that the second either of them had expressed that they didn’t want to do the search anymore, alden would’ve found another way. and i do think fitz would’ve expressed that if he wanted out. once again, when he tells sophie the story i quoted above (everblaze, chapter 21), it’s done very light-heartedly, with no malice toward alden that sophie can detect.

let’s talk about fitz’s academic life now. he missed a lot of school. obviously that takes a toll. but look at this quote:

(flashback, chapter 21)

fitz ranked, and probably continues to rank, number one in his entire level. he did just fine in school. alden’s search clearly didn’t impact his ability to perform well. back when i was an alden hater, i actually used this against alden, saying that if fitz ranked so high and did better than anyone else (including keefe who literally has a photographic memory), then he must’ve had to work incredibly hard on top of the work he already had to put into alden’s search, and we don’t know how that affected him behind the scenes. and i don’t agree with that take anymore. i think fitz would’ve told alden if it became too much for him, and even more than that, i think alden would’ve checked in with fitz proactively to make sure the combination of the search and school wasn't getting to him. there’s no evidence to confirm or deny, but i think it’s safe to assume. look no further than the reason alden even sent fitz out at six years old in the first place:

(neverseen, chapter 1)

he clearly prioritized his children's education, and when the situation called for it, he found another way. he understood that alvar wouldn't be able to sneak out of the towers anymore, and he was not willing to put alvar's education at risk. when it came to it, he always put his children before his search. he was never willing to truly sacrifice what truly mattered for his search.

also just throwing this in here, but alvar, just like fitz, did exceptionally well during his basic level years. we have no evidence that the search affected his academic life in any real way, but rather the opposite (that he did just fine):

(nightfall, chapter 16)

section two: keefe's flashback short story breakdown

(note: i will be using this transcription by @/kotlc-deleted-scenes for quotes. in case you weren't aware, there's a blog entirely dedicated to transcribing exclusive scenes, deleted quotes, and other not-widely-known extra kotlc material. check it out if you haven't read all the short stories. okay, advertising over.)

so i don't like ro. that's a subject for another time, but my hatred for her particularly manifests in this scene, because i think a lot of people see her interpretation of what alden is saying, and then take it as some gospel truth. but the only perspectives we're seeing here, actually, are keefe's (because it's his pov) and ro's (because she can't keep her mouth shut). we don't know what alden's thinking or what he means when he says what he's saying. all we get is keefe and ro's almost-certainly skewed views on this scene. so just keep that in mind as you read this entire short story.

i feel like there's a good chunk of people out there that genuinely think alden went there that day with the intention to tell keefe to stay away from sophie and let sophie be with fitz and stop trying to mess with sophie and fitz's relationship and back off, keefe. this is blatantly false. he came there with the intention to invite keefe to the tribunal, and because of ro he ended up needing to justify his decision to ask keefe and sophie to be there. which is fine! it's not like keefe didn't deserve an explanation. but then you can't get mad when he explains his reason, which is perfectly valid.

so let's talk about why ro's outburst is, in my opinion, not grounded in any sort of reality. first of all, alden says fitz doesn't exactly excel at controlling his temper (true). he then asks keefe (an empath, and also fitz's "best friend") to help calm fitz down. honestly, i shouldn't have to explain this, since alden says this all himself.

ro's comment seems to imply she thinks that alden's nefarious little plan here is to let fitz take his anger out on keefe for no reason. but that's clearly not what's going on? he invited sophie because he thinks fitz needs her, and invited keefe because he doesn't want fitz to take his anger out on sophie. he doesn't want fitz to take it out on keefe, either. he just thinks keefe is better able to stop fitz from doing something he'll regret than sophie is. he doesn't want to see either keefe or sophie be the target of fitz's temper, and just thinks keefe is better equipped to handle it than sophie is.

whether or not alden is correct with this line of reasoning, i think, is a different discussion entirely (the fact that he later implies sophie and fitz will inevitably end up together, while also not being confident they can handle their own problems without a third-party friend intervening is . . . contradictory, to say the least). but he was speaking his mind, and while he might have been wrong, he was not being manipulative, which seems to be the argument here.

so alden thinks fitz "needs" sophie. i'd once again argue that he's wrong, but i would not argue that he's being manipulative. he then, and this is important, seems nervous and tentative as his eyes shift to keefe, because he knows that keefe has a crush on sophie. now, before i tackle that whole thing, i’d like to once again emphasize that alden did not come to the shores of solace with the intention of telling keefe to let fitz have sophie or whatever. they shouldn’t even be having this conversation right now, honestly, but since ro is so fucking annoying, they are. alden’s intention with this visit was to request keefe go to the tribunal. that’s literally it. that’s all. this fitz-and-sophie tangent is a side quest.

okay, back to the main point. here’s what alden sees: two teenagers that have a crush on each other, and a third that has unreciprocated feelings for one of them. all three of the teenagers are friends. he is trying to preserve all three friendships, and i'd argue that he's especially trying to prevent keefe from heartbreak. again, is alden right about the whole sophie-fitz-keefe love triangle situation? no. but that doesn't make him manipulative. not only does he know that keefe has unreciprocated feelings for someone who has reciprocated feelings for someone else, but he's aware that keefe knows this, too. (side note: when i say keefe has unreciprocated feelings for sophie, who has reciprocated feelings for fitz, i mean that it was known she had a crush on fitz, and if you want to argue she had hidden feelings for keefe, you at least have to admit that she wasn't aware of them at this point in time. keefe's reaction to alden's words ("he was always trying hard not to think about it, because it made him want to punch things") only makes it clearer to me that keefe himself is also aware that sophie has known feelings for fitz.) once again, reading alden's body language clearly reveals how gently he's trying to communicate this, and i'd even argue that he doesn't want to even be saying any of this at all. but once again, we can blame ro for all our problems.

will ro keep her goddamned mouth shut. anyway. i'm not going to talk about how weird it is to imply that sophie doesn't know her own feelings, because that's not what this is about. but even if sophie doesn't know her own feelings, it's still incredibly insensitive to disregard the fact that she likes fitz here and now.

alden goes on to say that sophie doesn't know what she feels because fitz hasn't confessed his feelings yet, which may seem like he doesn't care about sophie (or keefe) as much as he does fitz, but again. he seems super convinced that sophie and fitz like each other (which they do, at this point). he wants them to be happy together. there's some cognitive dissonance about the true nature of their relationship, but his heart is in the right place. and once again, he is not telling this to keefe because he sees keefe as competition for fitz over sophie. he's telling this to keefe because he doesn't want him to do something that would endanger his relationship with either fitz or sophie.

and keefe knows this, too. he literally states in that last part that he's well aware sophie and fitz like each other, and that at one point he's going to have to deal with that even though he has a crush on sophie. so you can't even argue that alden's line of reasoning is illogical. it's wrong, but it's a logical conclusion to come to.

that top paragraph there once again reveals why alden is doing any of this at all. he just wants keefe to get out of this situation without any heartbreak because he knows keefe has an unreciprocated crush on sophie. keefe, being sixteen, vehemently denies this. and you can see that alden is not being particularly nosy here, actually. he corrects keefe when keefe lies, but he doesn't pressure keefe to talk about it, and doesn't ask any further questions. he's just letting keefe know that he is aware of the entire situation.

maybe if ro wasn't here to skew everyone's view of what's going on here, people wouldn't fall for the alden-is-evil-and-trying-to-manipulate-keefe propaganda so readily because every. single. word. of that sentiment in this story comes from ro. alden is not meddling. if anyone's meddling, it's ro. in fact, ro has gone and continues to go way past meddling in future books, but. that's besides the point.

and yes, this is the definition of caring. once again want to remind everyone that alden did not come here with the intention of telling keefe to let sophitz happen. the conversation took an unexpected twist and now they're here. and as i've already said, alden's body language suggests anything from trying his best to prod gently and let keefe down easy all the way to being uncomfortable that this conversation is even happening at all. but every piece of advice he's given keefe up until this point is valid.

and i know the alden antis knows this well because every time keefe starts monologuing (in an incredibly forced manner) about how he's not going to sabotage sophitz's relationship and how he's going to wait until sophie's ready and how he'd never listen to ro about shooting his shot and how he's ready to support sophitz even though he has a crush on sophie, everyone acts like he's some brave martyr that's willing to be in all this pain as long as sophie's happy and talks about how amazing and angelic and kind and perfect he is as a love interest for her. but when alden says virtually the same thing, the only difference being that he's a third party character, people immediately paint him as the devil incarnate. so keefe deciding that he's not going to wreck sophitz's relationship by staying out of it is selfless and sweet, but alden giving keefe advice to do that same exact thing is somehow cruel or manipulative?

and i have no idea why people have such a problem with alden pointing out that he sees keefe as a son. like. point out the part in that sentence where alden is manipulating keefe. i would like to see it. he's just stating a fact. sorry him stating a fact pissed you all off so bad. there's literally an actual-book flashback scene where alden is the first person in keefe's entire life to tell him that he's proud of him. have we missed the fact that keefe has seen alden as a father figure, too? the fact that this is not made-up, not just being stated out of the blue, but rather just an assurance of something both of them already know?

alright then . . . now let's talk about the part where this entire story is told from keefe's perspective (and ro's, because again, she cannot keep her mouth shut). he feels hurt, and i'm not saying he doesn't have the right to. being told your crush doesn't like you out loud probably hurts. so yes, he doesn't feel good. but that doesn't mean that alden is in the wrong here for what he told keefe. it just means keefe has a crush that seems to be unrequited right now, and that having an unrequited crush hurts.

we are going to ignore the fact that this is my favorite part . . . anyway. ahem. this is very important, so listen up, folks. alden sees himself in keefe. this entire scene, i guarantee you, what's running through his head is the fact that (he thinks) he was in keefe's exact position at one point. he understands keefe's position, and he wants keefe to know this. this is why he tells keefe this story. because he doesn't want keefe to misinterpret what he's saying as malicious or a personal attack on keefe (the way ro is). he's saying this because he's trying to spare keefe the heartbreak that he went through.

keefe then appears to be in denial. sixteen year old boy. i think the most important thing here is that alden bypasses lecturing keefe on how one day he'll find his true match. this implies two things to me: one, alden is just as uncomfortable with this conversation as keefe is and is trying to end it quickly and painlessly for them both, and two, alden can sense that keefe is uncomfortable and doesn't want to draw this out for him. both things show that alden understands keefe's position and also once again nails in the fact that alden never wanted or intended to have this conversation at all.

okay. now to what is probably the most controversial thing alden says: "let them be happy". alright . . . this is not an inherently bad thing to say. like please explain to me why this is a shitty thing for alden to say. remember: alden sees three friends, two with reciprocated feelings for one another and a third with unreciprocated feelings for one of the pair. and it's once again also something keefe himself thinks . . . so much of his pov in unlocked and unraveled is just him wallowing in the fact that he has a crush on sophie who likes fitz and how he'd never even think about shoving his way in between them or whatever. it gets hella tiring to read and is clearly just shannon attempting to make up for the possessive wreck she made keefe in neverseen through nightfall . . . anyway. back to the point. this is apparently all fine and dandy for keefe to think, but when alden tells a teenager not to interfere with an assumedly reciprocal relationship between two other teenagers (and out of concern that the first teenager's heart will be broken, no less), it makes him the scourge of the earth. seriously, what is so wrong with telling keefe to let sophie and fitz be happy together. once again, alden is wrong in assuming sophie and fitz are or would be happy together but that does not make him manipulative.

again, this story is told from the perspective of sixteen year old boy with unrequited feelings. he does not feel good upon hearing these words. that doesn't mean the person who said them is in the wrong or manipulating him somehow.

important part!!!! alden once again references something that gives us a peek into his thought process: he lost both of the friendships that he had because of his feelings. he doesn't want keefe to also lose his friendships with fitz and sophie over his feelings!!!! keefe is not in the same situation that alden was in, but alden doesn't know that. he's once again wrong, not manipulative. he is trying to preserve keefe's relationships with sophie and fitz . . . what part of this is manipulative.

as for "there's only one way this ends", that was decidedly untrue and pretty shitty. but notice how after ro's comment (her only valid comment about this entire situation), he realizes he was wrong and says as much out loud. he literally admits that "only time will tell", negating his earlier statement and acknowledging that ro is right (this one time). once again, his perspective on the situation is incredibly skewed. this is why he's so insistent that there will be only one way this will end. but then, after he realizes that what he said is wrong and that actually, things can change and he is in fact talking about a group of teenagers, he concedes ro's point.

i'm going to say that again: unlike ro, alden actually concedes this point!!!! he actually admits that he was wrong and immediately walks it back. he does not "ship sophitz". he does not prioritize his son over keefe. he actually wants what's best for three teenagers he sees as his own children!!!! this is why he concedes the point to ro, that sophie (and keefe and fitz) is a teenager and may not know what she actually wants in life yet. because he cares what sophie wants. this is something i'd argue ro doesn't care about, but again. this is an alden defense rant, not a ro hate rant.

and he's right that it doesn't change where they are today and the situation they're currently in, which is still that sophie and fitz have reciprocated feelings for one another and keefe does not. any good friend would step back and not interfere in this situation. alden is literally just telling keefe to be a good friend, and from personal experience, too. what exactly is so wrong with this. please do enlighten me.

alden then leaves, having said his part. he really does not want to stretch this out, either for keefe's benefit or his own discomfort with the conversation he was lowkey backed into by ro. it's also important to note that alden does leave the choice of whether or not keefe actually wants to come to the trial up to keefe himself. keefe is sad and emotional because his crush on sophie is the size of the sun. but that doesn't take away the validity of alden's statements (given his perspective). and he does it as gently as he can. it wasn't what keefe wanted to hear, and it made him uncomfortable, but in alden's defense he never intended to have this conversation in the first place. start yelling at ro instead of alden if you're annoyed by the fact that alden would want to have this conversation with a teenager. he actually did not.

. . . and the rest of this story is just ro trying to misinterpret everything alden said in the worst way possible. if i were to try to debunk everything she said, i'd just be repeating everything i already said over and over. i've already repeated myself a lot in this section. so we aren't going to do that. hopefully looking at the things alden actually said and breaking down why they are not shitty or manipulative, even unintentionally, will be enough. once again: alden is wrong about the reality of what's going on between sophie, keefe, and fitz, but given his perspective, it is not manipulative or invalid or even illogical for him to say any of the the things he said to keefe.

and the final thing i'll say is: ro is, to put it very bluntly, what you would get if you took a sokeefe pinterest fan and dropped them into the series, allowing them to interact with the characters themselves. one of the main things we know about her is that she is the sokeefe shipper. this is obviously going to tint how she sees anyone even suggesting sokeefe aren't perfect happy couple material. in this case, everything she says implies alden is the devil incarnate for telling keefe to not interfere with his friends' relationship, and out of personal experience, too. ro's otp is then (sort of, temporarily) ruined, and she deals with this by trying to manipulate keefe into thinking alden doesn't have his best interests in mind, because alden is getting in the way of her ship. thank you, ro. you've also managed to brainwash half this fandom into thinking the same, somehow. it's not true, but somehow that's the spin that's put on it.

i urge people to try to read this short story while blocking out everything ro says, and see if that changes your opinion on what alden is saying. because i genuinely feel that ro's presence in this story is a major contributing factor to why people are so eager to turn on alden. again, everything ro says is an opinion. everything alden says is just. what he says. so just try to listen to the words he actually says and leave ro the fuck out. it may actually improve your opinion of him.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 65 Status Checks

Now that we're well into the arc, I want to take stock of where our major players are.

All Those Guilty MFers and the Hishaku

Chihiro: still doing MC things with the plot, nothing's happening without him any time soon (probably). Beat up and tired but still going. He's guilty over a few things, namely 1. being a "murderer" that ignored the adults who wanted him to avoid their mistakes and 2. Hakuri being out of commission in the hospital. Vowed to become Hakuri's samurai, protect Iori, and learn the Iai White Purity style in 24 hours.

Hakuri: recovering off-screen in the Kamunabi hospital by getting special treatment to heal the nerves he damaged, as far as we know. Not likely to appear soon but he's definitely not forgotten. Guilty over what happened with Ice Lady and Uruha, feels like he needs to measure up to Chihiro's assessment of his "value". Asked the Masumi to protect Chihiro in his stead.

The Hishaku: John, Hiruhiko, and Worst Jeanist are holed up in what passes for the Hishaku's HQ it seems, letting Kuguri and Toto do the dirty work of capturing Iori. The whereabouts and status of Hatshaku, Jane Hishaku, Samurai Hishaku, and the other two core members are unknown.

Iori: Successfully rescued by Chihiro and the Masumi and safe for at least the next 24 hours. Told to make her choice about keeping her memories or returning to blissful ignorance once she gets them all back.

The Kamunabi: Observing the situation by letting Chihiro and the Masumi handle it on their behalf. Doing something shady with Uruha's corpse too, no doubt. No updates on what Hiyuki and Tafuku are doing at this time.

The Masumi: Protecting Chihiro because they feel indebted to Hakuri after he saved their lives. Letting Chihiro steer the course while they devote themselves to protecting him and Iori. Want to re-apply the seal on Iori's memories but will likely respect the choice she makes.

Samura: Hiding out somewhere in Japan waiting for someone to try and use an Enchanted blade so he can teleport to their location and murk them. Guilty as fuck over whatever The Incident was during the Seitei War, killing in general, and being a bad example for Iori to follow.

Shiba: Doing offscreen things as usual probably. Guilty as hell about not doing enough to steer Chihiro away from the path he chose or being able to stop him from risking his life.

Where Are All the Blades, Anyway?

Enten- with Chihiro, but he can't use it right now. Unknown if he bonded to it again or not yet.

Kumeyuri - with Hiruhiko, but he can't use it right now. Bonded to him and he intends to master it purely on instinct, much to Kuguri's disgust.

Kuregumo - broken by Chihiro. The hilt was used up and crumbled into dust, but Chihiro still has the tip of the blade in his possession (per Word of God in an interview).

Magatsumi/The Shinuchi: resealed and with the Kamunabi.

Tobimune - with Samura, who is using the Owl power to suppress the usage of other enchanted blades.

Unknown Blade 1 - implied to be with Kuguri. Likely belongs to the Sushi Chef bearer, with whom its bond is still active.

Unknown Blade 2 - presumed to be the Girlish Bearer's blade that she's still bonded to; with the Hishaku.

Who Are/Were the Bearers?

Chihiro Rokuhira: Kunishige's son and the main character. We know who he is.

Hiruhiko: A member of the Hishaku that's the same age as Chihiro, but with way more screws loose. Enjoys killing and thinks friendship means trying to kill each other over personal differences. Has a father-son like relationship to John.

Misaka: Kuregumo's former bearer; the first to die to the Hishaku three years ago before the rest were rounded up into the sanso. All other details unknown.

Seiichi Samura: Seitei War veteran who blinded himself out of guilt over killing. Iori's absent father who wanted her to forget him. Assistant Master of the Iai White Purity style and Uruha's former instructor. Intends to kill both the Hishaku and the rest of the living Bearers then himself. Current obstacle for Chihiro to overcome this arc.

Genichi Sojo: Parasocial obsessive fan of Kunishige's who worshipped his headcanon of the man instead of the real thing. Child torturer, murderer, and the genius who provided the Hishaku with usable datensenki shards. Fought Chihiro with Kuregumo and died explosively.

The Sword Master: Magatsumi's weilder, currently imprisoned in Kamunabi HQ. Doesn't seem wholly sane.

Unknown Man: A sushi chef with one blind eye. A Seitei War veteran who really likes making sushi. Bonded to the blade Kuguri's carrying.

Unknown Woman: A young-looking woman. Bonded to the other unknown blade in the Hishaku's possession.

Yoji Uruha: Kumeyuri's former bearer; a Seitei War veteran who was killed by Samura. User of the Iai White Purity style, Samura's former student. Body is currently in autopsy at the Kamunabi's medical facilities.

[davidayer]

Alexander Skarsgård as Amleth ↳ The Northman (2022)

[starbuck]

me: i am getting OUT of here! literally NOTHING could make me stay with this organization.

an actual legitimate chance at becoming a superintendent: hey :))

me: 👁️👁️

[ranger-kellyn]

pouring one out for all the wips i'll never finish bc mental health is a bitch

[roylustang]

Oh no. My hip is sore.

[covenists]

✦ FULL OF FAN BEHAVIOR, M. VERSTAPPEN

everybody knows that this account is full of max. from his first win to now, from his most random things to his glory time, she's always there to post his pictures. they only know her as his friend and nothing more, but who is she actually?

req: Saw your post for smau requests, maybe a Max Verstappen where people don't realise his girlfriends account is you know her official verified account. Because practically every single post is about Max. Full on fan behaviour, in the sense she was his first fan as his childhood friend, she has been there supporting him since they were kids, and now they're adults and together, but some habits doesn't change.

(bonus if the posts makes people question why she choose Max as her mans.)

2016 - 2018

verstappenight

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username He's so happy, he turns red.

username I usually don't trust redbull after Sebastian, but he might be my new exception🤷‍♀️

verstappenight

liked by danielricciardo, and 1,230 others

verstappenight that eyes glint with mischief. #throwbackthursday

view all 65 comments

maxverstappen33 Oh my god, I thought I trusted you by taking this years ago

   ⤷ yourusername never trust anyone

username The half smile😂

username He's been pulling the red string with Red Bull from a long time ago, and look at the hat. I bet it's not a coincidence.

username how is she even managed to get this out? this looks so ancient

   ⤷ username It's not ancient, it's probably old, but not ancient.

danielricciardo He looks like he's planning to steal one of the cars steering wheel

   ⤷ username exactly! 😂😂

username if it's a throwback, how old is this pic then?

   ⤷ username i mean he looks way younger than him on her recent post, so just figure it.

   ⤷ username he always looks younger

verstappenight

liked by victoriaverstappen, and 963 others

verstappenight how is it feel to have a duplicates?

view all 72 comments

maxverstappen33 Why are you taking the second one?

   ⤷ verstappenight and why are YOU posing to that one?

username Why is he looks younger and younger each time?

   ⤷ verstappenight i don't know, but i definitely recommend him to have a slug treatment for anti aging.

   ⤷ username username it's him in torro rosso, so that's why he looks more like a teenager.

username it's not even thursday yet, but i had a bad feeling for this week's throwback thursday.

verstappenight

liked by carlossainz55, and 3,573 others

verstappenight boo! happy halloween #throwbackthursday

view all 269 comments

username what did i say, my feelings are never lying

carlossainz55 Got you! 😆🤣

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 If I got a heart attack next week, it'll be completely your fault

landonorris is halloween on 29 or 30?

   ⤷ username depends on what region you're in, i guess?

   ⤷ landonorris don't guess, answer.

maxverstappen1 And how are you even managed to take this?? Seriously. yourusername

username I can't believe it's actually Carlos who did this

   ⤷ username Yeah, but I think this is so Carlos-like behavior.

username i would do that face too if someone dressed as scream beside me

username Who is running this fanpage?

username why are you liking him so much?

   ⤷ yourusername because he is so nice, cool, and he looks like sid from ice age which is my favorite character.

   ⤷ danielricciardo we got a whole stack of characters here: first we got maximus the horse from tangled, sid from ice age, and then what? jimmy neutron?

username 😂😂😂ajajaja mira su cara!

verstappenight

liked by redbullracing, and 3,782 others

verstappenight found this on twitter and now i can't stop laughing! can't wait to send this to my family group.

view all 90 comments

maxverstappen1 I really can't trust you with my digital footprint 🤦🏻‍♂️

   ⤷ verstappenight i found this on twitter alright, it's not taken by me!

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 Still.

   ⤷ carlossainz55 Ooh, someone's upset...

username who is this person behind this account?

username Why is his reaction is always looking so hilarious

username Max: 😦

username i feel him

username you sure it's not throwback thursday?

MID 2023

verstappenight

liked by charles_leclerc, and 97,182 others

verstappenight i changed throwback thursday with this questionable sense of max's fashion. hope that's alright.

photo credit via verstauri on twitter.

view all 348 comments

username NOOOOOOOOOOOO

username #bringbackthrowbackthursday

charles_leclerc If you get rid of throwback Thursday, how am I going to tease him?

   ⤷ verstappenight by searching it on pinterest🤷🏻‍♀️

username Is that real or photoshopped?

username Okay, I know throwback thursday is made a long time ago since 2015 but man I really miss it sm... 💔💔

   ⤷ verstappenight same, but some people don't need that old max (except for charles). we need the new one because life goes on -max via my message

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 I don't remember saying it

   ⤷ verstappenight shut up

username oh cmon i know charles want it because he's in love with max

   ⤷ username should i be surprised?

   ⤷ username i mean if there's no throwback thursday, who's going to tease him with his past when she's not there

   ⤷ username Daniel and Lando or Y/n could...

   ⤷ username oh come on, i don't even know who's the person behind this account anyway, for EIGHT YEARS

   ⤷ username As if you've never heard of twitter, just search her username and you'll see her REAL face.

THE TWEET SHE MEANT:

verstappenight

liked by schecoperez, and 113,809 others

verstappenight guess which one is the real one

view all 462 comments

schecoperez The first one of course!😂🤣

username since when did checos ass becoming that juicy

   ⤷ username since he listened to daddy yankee's song on repeat

   ⤷ danielricciardo His actual morning routine:

username the first one because what else would he be doing if not eating omelette and seeing checo's ass in the morning

   ⤷ username even checo himself agrees

username I'm glad that she still post here, even though there's no throwback thursday anymore😞😔

   ⤷ username but i guess even though we did not have throwback thursday anymore, we still have this crack post of him😄

TWITTER, 3 DAYS AFTER THE COMMENTS ON VERSTAPPENIGHT'S DADDY POST:

maxverstappen1 added a photo to their story! 2h

ON THE OTHER HAND, HER ACTUAL IG:

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 and 82,147 others

yourusername good moooorniiiiinggggg from my room<3

view all 97 comments

username Thank God it's not private

username damn yall work faster than the fbi

username Anyone come here from twitter?

username Omg I've never realized max pulled this hottie ever since they were born

username THIS IS VERSTAPPENIGHT ADMIN?????

   ⤷ username eight years of waiting is finally getting payed off..

username why are you even choosing max to be your man when there's charles or daniel who's sexier

   ⤷ yourusername sometimes i don't need looks to see to be having someone like max. he's my best friend first, and i'm glad i choose him right the first place.

   ⤷ username Oh that's sweet...

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 I love you too, My biggest fan.

   ⤷ username I LOVE YOU TOO??????💔💔

   ⤷ username oh my god max is having a REAL relationship with a fan account admin

   ⤷ username AWOOP🚨🚔 THEIR MEDIUM LAUNCH????

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, and 278,903 others

yourusername nobody knows that this phone addict is once my best friend. happy birthday maximus! 🥳🤍

view all 486 comments

landonorris happy birthday facebook dad.

maxverstappen1 I once again not going to take the Maximus name. It makes me feel like a horse from Rapunzel.

   ⤷ yourusername wait, you've watch tangled before?

danielricciardo Happy birthday, Big boy.

redbullracing Happy birthday to our number one champion! 🥳🥳

username awww baby maxiee🥺🥺🥺

lewishamilton Happy birthday, mate!

carlossainz55 To be honest, your real account is sometimes still kinda feels like your other one.

   ⤷ yourusername force of habit probably?

   ⤷ carlossainz55 No, it's because you're acting like Max's biggest fan everywhere.

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 That's probably because she is.

   ⤷ yourusername wipe that smug smile off your face while you're typing

username He looks the same weirdly or not

username AHA I FOUND YOU VERSTAPPENIGHT ADMIN

username i love how she just hanging to his arm like they're been a couple since god knows how long

username SHE'S SOO LUCKYYY

username i'm gonna melt

username i feel like it's a hard launch, but she have been doing this for a long time ago

sophiekumpen 🥳🥳🥳

maxverstappen1

liked by zedd, and 627,834 others

maxverstappen1 How was I going to get her bad side if she's there and looking so beautifully?

👤: yourusername, verstappenight

view all 446 comments

landonorris poetic. remember your other girlfriend's waiting

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 I don't remember having another one?

   ⤷ charles_leclerc How are you even forget about us?

yourusername awww i can't believe you tag the fan account one too!! i love you so much!!!

   ⤷ maxverstappen1 I love you too❤️

username #justiceforcharles #lestappenforever

username SHE'S SOOOO CUTE no wonder max pulled her

victoriaverstappen I didn't know you pulled this cutie

   ⤷ danielricciardo Me too until I found out yesterday at the club

username poetic max is going to be the end of me

username I really had a bad feelings of he becoming poetic and gets all over like this

username Okay, this is max's hard launch. And now I'm waiting for Y/n's

   ⤷ username i thought she already doing it for so many times at verstappenight? 😏🤭

yourusername

liked by redbullracing, and 579,420 others

yourusername 💌

📸: landonorris

view all 461 comments

username PARENTS CONFIRMED???

username YESS (adopt me pls)

username is verstappenight still going to be there? let's see for the next two days...

username verstappenight nation how do we feel after this? (we can get a new max pic daily)

username i'm gonna thank lando forever for this

username With the bouquet, the dim light, and the black and white + sepia filters. What are they doin that night?

username AWWW ROMANTIC😍😍

danielricciardo They left Charles in the back that night

⤷ landonorris aww poor him. but anyway...

username how are you converting from lestappen to this one so fast?

TAGLIST @queenofmanydreams @muglermami @4limq @avengers-assemble123456 @cabbyhabs @meowtastick @4mula-1 @miarabanana @amel1ee @dinosushilun1 @auggieblogs @namgification

[hottestvirgin]

DILF!HEESEUNG

warnings. dilf!heeseung, sub!reader, smut, fluff, cute moments, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, unprotected sex, slight degrading, dirty talk, creampie, very dirty, yuuuhh

becoming heeseung’s daughter’s official babysitter was the best decision you’ve made in a while. not only were you getting paid $65 an hour to watch a guy’s child and to live there, but you were babysitting a well behaved little girl.

this came with its perks, and that was seeing her attractive father everyday. you met heeseung through a friend who worked for his family’s company. when she heard word of him needing a babysitter for his two year old, she immediately called you. after a small interview and background check, you became his babysitter.

that was one year ago. so now you were watching over a little three year old everyday, keeping her fed and entertaining while heeseung worked overtime for the company he’s soon to obtain. being closer to him, he’s more vocal about his struggles with being a father with his career.

“i don’t, y’know, wanna be distant from her,” he pauses to meet your eyes, flashing a genuine smile while rubbing your shoulder, “that’s why i appreciate you so much.”

your heart thrums at his words. they always do. and you couldn’t help the overwhelming feelings for heeseung. this tension between you two have been blossoming for a few months now. he just finds it so endearing how sweet and caring you are to both him and his daughter. he even considered raising your pay.

“$100!?” you gasped, a little too loudly. you quickly glance over at his sleeping daughter, hoping you didn’t wake her. when she didn’t move an inch, you look back at heeseung.

“is it too low?” the man asked, “i can double it.” he was desperate. so desperate to show you his appreciation. so desperate to ensure that you would never, ever leave.

“my current pay is enough, sir. don’t worry.” you smiled at him and he swore you were the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever landed on.

he pursed his lips, “you’re always so formal. you can call me heeseung,” he chuckled, “loosen up a bit.”

the softness of his voice lightened your mood that day, causing his name to be able to slip past your plush lips with ease now.

“heeseung, you got her the wrong applesauce,” you told him with a small laugh, watching him drop the last grocery bag on the kitchen counter. “she likes strawberry instead of cinnamon, remember?”

your words sent a weird feeling in heeseung’s stomach. you remembered everything about his daughter and he couldn’t even remember her favorite applesauce flavor. seeing you take on the role he failed to take made him proud and embarrassed.

“shit. you’re right. i’ll go get it then.” he’s stopped by the firm grip on his wrist, turning on his heels and meeting your comforting gaze.

“don’t worry about it. she’ll eat it.” you told him. and later that night he overheard you telling his daughter that the cinnamon applesauce was a special gift from him and how he loved her very much. she had eaten every single bite.

the first time he saw you cry was probably the scariest moment in his life. what had happened? did his daughter do something to you? did she hurt your feelings? were you gonna leave him?

“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” heeseung was quick to comfort you in parallel with how you’re always quick to comfort him. he rubbed your back and you sniffled, wiping the tears that streamed down your face.

“she called me mommy,” you told him, “i just.. don’t know how to react to that.”

oh.

when you told him that you didn’t know why you bursted out crying, he hesitated for a bit. he knew that this would happen because of how young she is. but he didn’t know it would make you ball out crying.

“if she thinks of you as a mommy then that means you’re doing a good job.” heeseung told you, his fingers intertwining with yours, squeezing your hand. there was something about his aura that night that made you feel safe and warm.

and what really made your heart swell was when he told you that you would be the perfect mother. this feeling was different. it made you.. aroused. in a way. but it was wrong, right? you can’t feel this way towards him.

as the long spring days passed, the tension grew. starting from giving each other as much personal space as possible to being very affectionate and open with each other which seemed like overnight.

“i just put her to bed.” you announce, standing in heeseung’s doorway with your arms crossed. he looks up from his laptop, inviting you to sit on his bed. “i’m getting used to it. but it just feels so weird sometimes. i’ve never seen myself as a mother.”

heeseung’s facial expression softens when you speak, reaching to graze his fingers over your arm. “but you would. i’ve been watching you and you’re better at parenting than me.” he laughs his words off but your stomach churns in arousal when he admits that he does, in fact, watch you.

“you’re an amazing dad.” you reassure. “you think so?” heeseung tsks, closing his laptop to give you his attention. nodding, you continue, “you’re sweet, loving, funny, generous..” you pause when he interrupts with a sudden laugh.

“yeah? tell me more.” the man sits up against his headboard, loving the compliments.

“hardworking, dependable.. i could go on. you’re everything i’d want in a man.” you didn’t expect to fully admit your appreciation for the man but you didn’t expect to admit that. seeing his reaction to your words made your heart flutter.

heeseung didn’t know why but the tension between you two grew intensely. he stares into your eyes lovingly, in a daze. like he was getting high just from hearing your pretty voice.

“so you want me to be your man?” heeseung repeats, and your face quickly heats in embarrassment at what you just said. fuck. what if he finds you weird? would he fire you?

“i-i mean.. i’d like a man like you.”

“mm.. so you like me.” heeseung concludes, and you cover your face in embarrassment. “well, i like you too,” he tells you, “and you’re everything i’d want in a woman.”

there’s a hint of teasing in his words but you knew they were genuine when you found heeseung in between your legs, splitting you open on his cock right then and there. filling your cunt deliciously, it’s so good. and heeseung has never been this turned on in his life, rutting into you desperately.

you can feel him deep in your stomach. and his slender fingers graze over your abdomen, his desires sending more adrenaline through his veins. he pushes your thighs against your chest, folding you in half and thrusting stupidly into you. “i’ll fuck a baby in you, i promise.” he grunts, squeezing your thighs.

you’re all fuzzy and drunk on his cock, only being able to moan and whimper pathetically as he pulls his hips down harder and harder, each time pushing your body into the mattress which produces loud squeaks and would guarantee wake his daughter up. but he doesn’t stop.

“you’d be such a pretty mama, baby.” heeseung cooes, and it sends shivers down your spine. he’s serious because he’s fucking you into the mattress with all his strength, caging and trapping you between his arms.

“d..don’t stop.” you beg, breathless. he’s not planning on it, and it only thrives him to angle his hips to where his swollen tip abuses that soft spot inside of you. this sends you to another realm, your grunts turning into silent moans.

heeseung can see it now. how you’d be walking around his house with a swollen belly. how pretty you’d look with all the weight gain, swollen tits, so fragile and gorgeous. just for him. he could already see you with his baby in your arms. fuck. it turns him on so much. everything about you does.

“oh my god. s’ good.” you moan, gripping onto the back of your own thighs. “yeah? i’m right here, baby, feel that?” he grazes over your stomach again, pushing down to feel the print of his cock in your flesh, “gonna fill this pussy full of my babies.. gonna make you my wife so you’ll never leave me like she did.”

fuck. he was pushing you over the edge and your fingers were slipping. you were so close to losing your mind. clenching around him, he groans while putting more aggression to his thrusts to ensure that he’s balls deep inside you. fuckfuckfuck. he was so close, his cock throbbing and twitching inside you. every drag of his cock sent a shiver down your spine.

he nuzzles his sweaty face into your neck, taking in your sweet, motherly scent. you were driving him fucking crazy. and he didn’t stop his thrusts for a minute. he wraps an arm around the back of your neck, pulling you into his chest while his other hand pushes your thigh further against your chest.

“ah fuuuk.. m’ gonna cum.” heeseung hips stutter, voice shivery as he whimpers and fills your womb full with his thick load, riding out his orgasm while you cum hard around him, creaming his shaft. he’s still rocking against you to make sure he fucks every drop of his cum as deep as he can in you. when he pulls out, fat globs of his cum seep out of your aching hole.

you have no regrets, no source of shame, nothing. this was the man you wanted to be the father of your first child. this was the man who’s baby you wanted to carry. so a few weeks later, you show him a positive pregnancy test.

[uyuforu]

Groom Persona Chart Observations V

Asteroids Used: Groom (5129), Briede (19029), Juno (3), Union (1585), Boda (1487).

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Venus Persona Chart I

જ⁀➴ How to know your Future Spouse's Career

જ⁀➴ Groom Persona Chart IV

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⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Sun conjunct Mars can mean FS is competitive, they can be quite energetic, they also be jealous, possessive, but also someone who is ambitious. When they are in a good mood or with people they love, they can be very excited too. FS can have a strong Mars energy on their chart. FS can also seem rude or violent without really wanting to, it can just be how they act and move that seem very harsh, or pretty physical. Doesn't mean they ARE violent, they can just give off the vibe of being impulsive.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Sun sextile Jupiter, FS can be lucky, they can also have a certain optimism. Good things happen to them most of the times.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Sun opposite Neptune can tell us that FS has a weak body, they can look sick or look pretty skinny. FS can also feel disappointed in their life, or just feel like they do not fit in society. FS can need more sleep than others. FS can also believe strongly in their Ideas, even if others do not.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Sun trine Pluto can mean FS can be quite intense, and deep. They can have a very strong aura, and you may feel it right away. Even them just looking at you can feel intense.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Sun trine Chiron means FS can be very smart, they can also often be not afraid to do things they want to do, they learn easily life lessons usually. But because they need to grow, they have indeed a few life lessons.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Moon conjunct Venus can mean FS looks very beautiful, they have a beautiful face for sure. FS is romantic, and can often attract people to them. FS can also often encounter problems with relationships.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Moon square Saturn can mean FS had relationship problems in the past, they can struggle to even show their emotions sometimes. They can also struggle with their family. FS can often be lonely.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Moon opposite Uranus can mean FS is very independent wishes freedom to feel good. They need space. Yet, this placement can also tell us that this feeling they desire for freedom does not necessarily go along with their emotions. FS desire independence yet it doesn't go with their emotional needs.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Moon opposite Juno means FS will recognize you instantly when they will meet you. FS can have never felt love before and when they see you, they will sense it's totally different from what they felt before.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Moon sextile Union can mean FS indeed will feel very good when meeting you. They will feel like they found the one for them.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mercury conjunct Mars can mean FS talks fast, can have a sharp way to use words, they can be blunt, they can come off as rude. Though, they can also be impulsive when they speak, meaning also if the person who speaks to them doesn't go fast enough for them, then they will change the subject.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mercury square Union can mean FS will probably have a hard time to ask you out, they can also take a long time to do so.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mercury conjunct Boda can mean otherwise, FS will propose very fast to marry you. They may do it very quickly after you meet or after you are together. They can also talk often about marriage. They can also think about it often.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Venus square Saturn can mean FS has no romantic experience, they could have been hurt by love before, they could also have never dated before you. Will have a hard time with romance before meeting you.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Venus opposite Uranus can mean FS will live a sudden change in their love life eventually. Something unexpected. They can one day fall in love quite suddenly.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Venus opposite Juno means FS will have a hard time deciding between some romantic relationships and you. They will probably be focused as to what to choose. Don't take it the wrong way.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Venus sextile Union means FS will fall for you after meeting you, meaning very fast in the meeting.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mars sextile Jupiter brings good fortune and good drive to FS. FS can have a good intuition that can brings him a lot of luck and good opportunities. He can have more ambition thanks to that.

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⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mars sextile Saturn can mean FS has a lot of endurance and discipline.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mars opposite Neptune can mean FS can be discouraged sometimes by illusions, over thinking, or just some random thoughts. Their ideas and what is going on in their mind can have a strong influence on their ambition and energy.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mars square Groom can mean FS can have a hard time to get in their masculine energy, meaning chasing you. They can have a hard time to also feel confident about you, meaning being brave enough to be after you.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Mars square Briede can mean FS have a hard time also believing you would love them, that you would want them. That can cause them to have a hard time to chase after you, court you.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Jupiter conjunct Saturn can mean FS can have better luck with time passing, they can also become wiser with time. They can be quite mature.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Jupiter trine Neptune can mean FS can be spiritual or just feels a connection to god or a higher connection. They can be strongly intuitive too.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Jupiter opposite Pluto means FS will live a very deep transformation at some point in their life. It can happen many times, but eventually this transformation can happen to change their beliefs and it can also happen for personal growth.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Jupiter opposite Chiron means FS needs to accept themselves as they are, meaning also with their flaws and bad decisions they made. They need to forgive themselves.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Jupiter square MC can mean FS can have a good chance to succeed in their career eventually.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Saturn trine Neptune is a sign FS is a very smart! It's a sign of high level intelligence.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Saturn square MC can mean FS will live difficulties with how they are seen by others, they can also be expected to achieve certain things at certain points when they do not feel like it.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Uranus conjunct Juno means FS can be a unique lover, they can meet you online first, or the first meeting will be unique. They will think the love they have for you is truly different from what they experienced before.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Uranus trine Union means FS can ask you to be with them in a very unique way, but on a good side, and it can also be unexpected. They will be very original.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Neptune sextile Pluto means FS is rather calm when it comes to changes and transformation, they are quite accepting about change. FS also wants to uncover the truth about things, very curious.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Neptune square Groom can mean FS can actually have trouble to see they are worth love and marriage.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Pluto conjunct Chiron means FS will live intense life situations that can lead to traumas but also some that will lead them to heal those. They will be pushed by life to face their traumas, even if it's hard for them sometimes. Also traumas for them can be felt intensely.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Pluto square MC means FS had a rough childhood. Perhaps because of the father figure.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Chiron square MC can mean FS' traumas can influence their reputation and how they are seen by others and more in a bad way. People can think FS is a bad person because of unresolved traumas they have.

⊹₊ᥫ᭡⋆ Groom trine Rising can mean FS can glow up around the time you meet or after you are together/ married. FS can also be more confident after being involved with you.

Thank you for reading!

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back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[jelloapocalypse]

Hi! I guess it’s ask time? Just wanted to say I think you’re one of the funniest people on YouTube; I have a playlist called ‘Emergency Funny’ and like half of it is just your videos.

I’m wondering, when you’re cold-reading a line, like in those streams of voice acting a video game while playing it, what are the small details, if any, that you look to to figure out how to read the line? I’m continually amazed how you manage to have near perfect delivery while never having read the line before. Sorry if this is worded confusingly I legit don’t know how to phrase it

This was sent months ago, but it's actually a very good question and talking about this might help people who like to voice games on stream get better at doing that.

For context, this is about our "fully-voiced" game playthroughs where we cold read an entire video game out loud.

One small thing I try to do that helps is pressing the "advance dialogue button" when the person speaking is about 65-70% of the way through their line. That way, if the next line is from the same character the actor has a chance to read it smoothly as though the lines were not separated at all.

If it turns out to be a different actor's line, this gives the new actor more time to skim the words as well as extra time for them to realize they're about to be speaking so they don't get caught off guard.

Doing this is actually kind of hard because every actor we work with reads at a different pace and the person actually playing the game has to keep that in mind. Oz, Vixen, Arim, and I can sight read most lines almost instantly. I've seen Oz and Vixen in particular read entire text boxes that were only onscreen for a couple frames. But, obviously, not everyone is that fast, so everyone gets different "advance the dialogue" speeds.

Ideally, if a game is well-written and the characters you're playing have a strong voice, you'll slowly fade into the character as you read them. You begin to feel the things they're saying rather than just reading words on a page. Once you hit that flow state, it becomes easier to process what they might logically say next. If you notice one of us make 2-3 errors in the span of just a few lines, it means we're probably not in that flow state.

Some games are also much easier to scan than others, usually because of their character poses.

A game like In Stars and Time has such incredible character portraits that you can usually tell the tone of the accompanying line within a few frames of a portrait change.

Loop (above) is an extremely suspicious and weird character, but voicing them was so much fun because I could always rely on the portraits and the font changes in the text to give me direction on how to play them accurately, even though I didn't actually know what their deal was until about halfway through our playthrough.

Coffee Talk also has very strong portraits that react in real time to the lines of dialogue. The framing can push characters smaller or larger in focus depending on how upset or meek they are, so it's very easy to react on sight and adjust accordingly.

Every time a game developer takes the time to painstakingly add portraits that match every single line, every time they add SFX to accentuate certain words, every time a font wiggles to tell you someone is speaking in a sing-songy way, that's all direction that the game's creators are giving you.

Another thing that helps is just media literacy. I think everyone on the channel is pretty good at that because, speaking frankly, I don't like hanging out with people who have bad media literacy, lmao.

The more media you consume, the easier it becomes to know how a story is going to go. Even a really well-written mystery usually has only 3-5 real options for an ending, and while you're reading games aloud it's a good practice to consider all of them equally so your reads make sense no matter what. You'll notice it's pretty rare something takes us entirely by surprise in a read-through.

Also, of note, it's much easier to notice specific foreshadowing and word choice in dialogue when you're reading it aloud as opposed to silently skimming.

A solid example is our fully-voiced playthrough of Trails From Zero, which actually happened on SurpriseRoundRPG a few years back and not my own Twitch or YouTube.

Minor spoilers, but the character above, Ernest, has some antagonistic interactions with your main party over the course of this game. He wants Ellie, the white-haired party member, to quit the police force (that's your group) and go back to working with him in the Mayor's office.

When Arim played this game solo he didn't really think much of this guy. However, when he played the game for us and we read it out loud, having lines like the one pictured above spoken aloud makes it kind of impossible not to notice that this man is a freak. Mo, his VA, ended up playing him as a manosphere incel weirdo because that's the vibe he was putting out, and, lo and behold, that's pretty much exactly the character he turned out to be.

There's a running theme on our channel where commenters are often surprised to see the game "play into our bits" and how we "accidentally predict things".

What's really happening is the reverse.

It's very, very rare that we decide to make up a bit from absolutely nothing. It's not a hard and fast rule, but I find we only make jokes and play up aspects of characters based on things that are already there. Hence that one time in Miles is a Robot when I said something awful and sexual as Ray Shields, Oz groaned, and I said "Hey man, I'll give him a different joke when the game gives me somethin' else to work with!" I didn't choose to make Ray awful and sexual all the time. That's just how he is, so that's the well we pulled bits from.

Because we only extrapolate from existing content and our "silly" versions of the characters onscreen are just exaggerated versions of what's really there, whenever the game gives us more info about them, the new stuff tends to be very in-line with the bits we've already been doing. It's not us being psychic. It's us being consistent!

It also helps that almost all the regulars on my channel have done professional voice work and have been doing some version of this for literally 10+ years. Practice makes perfect!

[venusflytrapm]

600 words, aizawa x reader, tw christmas and pet name (babe)

He hates it. You can tell from Shouta’s face that he hates the watch you got him for Christmas.

It was an antique you found at a pawnshop, costing a pretty penny, and you genuinely thought he would like it. He likes the old things you buy him! The first antique you bought him, he made a joke about how you thought he was old, but he loved it…or you thought he did. 

But now he’s sitting on the loveseat across from the recliner you’re sitting on in your shared home. And there’s this look on his face you can’t quite decipher; it's something you’ve never seen before. His jaw ticks, like he wants to say something, but his brows are furrowed like he’s thinking. 

There’s a heavy silence in the air, him staring at the watch and you staring at him, then the telltale sound of cats pitter-pattering can be heard coming from the kitchen. They’re probably playing with the gifts Shouta bought them, and any other time you would get up to watch, but you're a little preoccupied. 

Shouta lets out a tiny sigh, a small smile forming on his face after what feels like forever. “It’s... I love it.”

“You do? It took you a long time to respond." You breathe out a sigh of relief. “I thought you hated it.” 

“No, it's,” He chuckles, looking up at you. “I couldn’t hate it. I couldn’t hate a single thing you got me.” He is smiling wider, and it's something you only see once in a blue moon. The uncontrollable smile he does when he just can’t contain his feelings. 

“I saw it in the case, and I thought, ‘This is something Sho would wear,’ so I bought it.” You admit bashfully. God, you feel like a teenager when he looks at you like that.

You’re both staring at each other now; the watch is still in its box, but you both are too intertwined in eye contact. Any outsider would see this and think it was weird how you both were staring into each other's souls, but it's warm and not awkward at all. It feels like the sun is beaming extra hard inside of the walls of your house, despite the temperature being set at a cool 65 degrees. 

“This is my watch.” He speaks up.

“Yeah, babe, I bought it for you.” Now you’re the one chuckling. 

“No,” He rolls his eyes, but he isn’t annoyed with you; he’s smiling. “This was my watch when I was in school. I sold it because I needed the money.” His hands are moving now, taking the watch out of its box and looking at the bottom, where the part that holds the battery can be seen. 

“You didn’t notice the S.A. engraved in the back?” He asks incredulously.

You lean over; an inch more and you’d fall, and it seems more reasonable to just sit next to him, but you still lean. And you can see it clearly in the natural light of your living room, his initials perfectly aligned on the back of the case. You hadn’t noticed when you were in the pawnshop. No wonder you thought it was perfect for him. 

“So I got you a watch that you already had? No wonder I thought you’d like it.” You laugh, and before you know it, you’re both laughing and embracing. 

A few light kisses are shared for no more than a minute before he’s pulling away. 

“I have to call Mic, he’s not going to believe this.” He stands and walks to the phone. And you’re giggling on the couch.

[featherwurm]

I'm going to get a lot more personal on here than I usually do:

Baulder's Gate 3, and especially Karlach, make me feel seen in a way no price of media I've ever engaged with before has. It's a big reason why I love it and why it's sticking with me like it is. I too am a big, loud, enthusiastic woman who says out of pocket shit. I have a heavy internal dialogue with myself. I have a temper, I'm bisexual, I love cute shit. I endured years of being utterly touch starved. I love sex and food and being alive...

I also have cancer; it's Follicular B-Cell Lymphoma. I was diagnosed in 2020 when it had reached stage 3A. It's currently under control after chemo* and I'm living my life normally. But while it's a very treatable kind of cancer, it's not fully curable**. There's nothing in me they can remove (it's my whole lymphatic system that's broken) and no drug currently that can wholly knock it out. It's cause is not known (genetically or environmentally), and its unusual for this type of cancer to affect someone as young as I am (I was diagnosed at 35 - it's much more common 65+***). So every three months I go into oncology and they check my blood and symptoms and see if I'm doing ok. I get imaging and biopsies occasionally too. This will go on until I'm not ok (hopefully a long time yet). I'll have to have still manageable but more invasive treatment the next time around. It's a well researched kind of cancer, and my oncologist hopes that in the next decade there may be some more permanent cure for it.

So you can see where I'm going with this. When you hit Karlach's monologue after killing Gortash, I've never felt better understood. I have no one to blame for my condition, no revenge arc of course, but the very same fear, frustration, grief, and anger are all things my husband has heard from me. I've never seen a more beautiful and moving and real exploration of the topic that resonates with me so meaningfully out of a piece of fiction that I love. Béart's performance is amazing - capturing a whole spectrum of emotion.

Karlach's story is absolutely not incomplete as written, confirmed by both the devs and Sam Béart - a terminal condition is just that. You don't get to fix or save her, you get to go with her through tremendous trial and difficulty. If you want to continue that story in your mind that's great (I know I'm eager to do so, for my own personal encouragement if nothing else) but on it's own it's a whole story about coming to terms with something that doesn't have a quick and easy little fetch-quest resolution.

So - every time I see another whinging post/essay/bitchfest about how her story feels "unfinished" or "incomplete" or "has too much cut content" you can see why I might take it a bit personally - knowing that the life I have, the easy solutions I don't get, and the frustration and grief I live with is seen as incorrect and wrong and bad writing makes me a little pissed off. If you think the story is incomplete as told and think a 'third engine upgrade' is missing you completely missed the point.

Karlach doesn't get a simple easy ending because people like me**** don't get that either. And like my husband and the others who love me you can choose to follow that story anyway. And that's fucking beautiful.

*Yeah dealing with cancer and undergoing chemo during a pandemic was really a peach.

**XKCD hits the nail on the head here and here.

***Current treatments have good decade long prognoses... but saying 'you'll probably be fine for the next 10 years' is a lot different at 35 than it is at 65.

****And believe me I've heard from a lot of chronic/terminally ill folks who love the game for the way it represents these things and feel the same, with her Gale, and Shadowheart too.

[blood-orange-juice]

Inspired by a discord discussion.

I keep seeing characters from snowy places portrayed as unbothered by cold or missing it, and every time I remember that it's completely counterintutive if you didn't grow up in freezing temperatures

So I thought I should write this post.

We are very bothered by cold. We are way more bothered by cold than southerners. Being bothered is what keeps you safe. Warmth is a resource.

There are few lucky people who simply never get cold (mostly guys of endomorph body type) but it's not a given and generally northerners start to complain and wear warm coats at the tiniest hint of cold.

Humans can only adjust up to a certain threshold.

For example, Irish and British winters allow you to ignore weather almost completely (you'll be miserable but you'll probably live), so there's a culture of stoicism, not heating your house above 16-18°C (60-65°F), wearing shorts and sandals (and a Very Big Scarf) when it's snowing and all that.

(I quickly got used to leaving the bathroom window open at 4°C when I was living there. who cares really)

So there's a common misconception that you can do the same with even colder weather.

However, once you are past that adjustment threshold (for most people it takes as little as -5..0°C/23..32°F lasting for more than a month per year) there can be no special built-in resistance to that type of cold (unless you are a yogi or a Taoist monk), instead you learn a bunch of behaviours that help you. You start to preserve warmth religiously.

You also start to differentiate between types of being cold and avoid some of them (some build up over time and it wears you down, so it's best to avoid them entirely). Anything that drops your core temperature (this is noticeable long before you start shivering, shivering is the equivalent of fire alarm) is a huge no. Fingers getting a bit numb from building a snow castle is nothing major though.

It can be hard to unlearn that even if you moved to a warmer place years ago.

Stoic northern characters who have moved to a warmer country are very likely to Complain About The Cold.

They'll start wearing coats at higher temperatures than southerners (because, well, the weather might get worse, or you might stay outside longer than you planned, or move less).

They'll get cold hands more often because their body panics at the tiniest signs of cold and diverts blood to the centre (my first impression of the Irish was how warm everyone was when we shook hands. I'm the same now).

Most will heat their houses to the point where it's possible to walk around in a t-shirt no matter how cold it is outside (those who don't will comment "thank gods that people don't do that in your country, I hated it back home").

They'll whine at +5°C (40°F).

Apart from heavier clothes they'll have a bunch of weird habits like Walking Really Fast when the weather is bad (it's for when you don't want to wear heavier clothes).

They might have a fondness for scarves and good winter shoes (warm shoes and a warm hat are even more important than a warm coat. the lack of hats in fantasy upsets me. scarves are less important but they are pretty).

When locals get surprised they'll reply with "yes, but this is *damp* cold, *dry* cold is different" (it's more complicated than that but this answer usually stops further questions, so we go with that).

It's not like they are actually less cold-resistant, they just take cold more seriously.

At the same time they can be weirdly unbothered by things that freak some of the southerners out because they know how their body deals with low temperatures and which things have no consequences.

(it's not something that you learn from books, it's practical knowledge of what you personally can get away with. for example, I often get completely numb thighs during winter walks, takes an hour to start feeling anything when I get home. but I know it's all right as long as my feet are warm and my core temperature is within normal range)

They also won't suffer consequences when it gets truly cold, while more nonchalant southerners won't notice when they get borderline hypothermic or just cold enough to get sick.

They'll probably consider -30°C (-22°F) exciting. It becomes enjoyable again, because the outside world is now a death zone and there's some macabre fun in resisting it. Oh, and your eyelashes get covered in frost and it looks dope. What's not to like.

Kids will make a point to eat ice cream outside in -30°C (no, they won't get sick from it). I can't explain it, it just works like that.

Generally people from colder countries are not bothered by cold if they can return to a warm place soon enough, it's the prolonged exposure to cold (even mild) they are worried about. Going out for a smoke without a coat is common.

If they are still in a cold country, it's also a bit different from what you expect.

There's a trope of drinking to keep warm. It doesn't work like that. You can drink alcohol to feel warm but not to keep warm and it's an important difference. When it's cold your body's proper response is to constrict blood vessels and to divert blood flow from extremeties to slow down the loss of warmth. Alcohol reverts that.

This means it's perfectly appropriate to drink eggnog or mulled wine at a fair (when you are supposed to get to warmth soon enough, so the illusion of not being cold is not harmful) or hard spirits when you get back from the cold (it will help you warm up faster), but not if you are staying in a cold place. During a hike through winter woods a thermos with sweetened tea and fatty food are your best friends.

Some won't know it and get drunk and frostbitten/hypothermic. People are stupid.

Food gets weird, fats start to seem even tastier than usual. People in Antarctic expeditions are known to crave sticks of butter. In certain weather sandwiches with frozen lard are delicious.

Anything can and will be made into tea.

Some tropes I personally disagree with.

Pain. Pain levels depend on the weather. Cold eases any kind of external pain (cuts or burns) but makes worse anything internal (broken bones, cramps, most headaches).

Hypothermia feels nothing like peacefully falling asleep. It's the most miserable state I've ever experienced, psychological trauma doesn't even come close.

Well, maybe there are people who do fall asleep but other people I've talked to seem to share my experience.

I'm not sure how exactly it works, I think it messes up your self-regulation, since most chemicals in your body require a certain temperature range to work properly. Basically you become Not Yourself. Your emotions go whack (usually it's either extreme self-pity or extreme anger). It feels awful. I hope you never get to experience it.

Most of us don't really miss cold.

Well, some perverts do, but there's a general consensus that cold is awful.

We do miss some things that only happen during cold days though. The stillness and the quiet or how pretty snow looks. How bright the stars are on a clear night. The colour of sunsets and twilight sky when it's freezing.

(in my opinion, the best experience happens around -5°C, it's already pretty but the world is not a death zone yet)

There's also an appreciation of contrast with things that are Not Snow.

Walking from the cold into a greenhouse with orchids.

Watching a blizzard rage outside your window while you sit in warmth with a cup of tea.

Jumping into a lake straight out of a sauna (then going back. do not do that if you have a heart condition).

Fireplaces. Holiday food. Mulled wine. Saffron in pastry.

There's also a lot of beauty in the world that is frozen. I keep stumbling upon the fact no one around me shares these experiences anymore and it saddens me.

The xylophone sound of first ice being broken by a passing boat.

Sea moving under the ice — when it's not too thick it rises and falls like some large animal breathing.

The whale-song-like sounds of ice cracking on large lakes.

There's a very special mood of waiting for first snow. The world is too cold and dark without it and then you wake up one night from the sudden quietness (snow muffles all sounds) and you know it's there even before you look out of the window,

There's the exhiliration of spring. The moment when the wind starts to have a scent — thawing snow smells a bit like watermelons but clearer. Winter smells like nothing at all.

The first tiny yellow flowers in mud. They are our hanami.

(I don't think anyone in Europe truly appreciates spring if they are not from Nordic or Baltic countries)

There's a certain attunement to the scent of ice too.

Like that barely perceptible tingle in the air in late September, long before you can see any ice.

I feel the scent of ice when there's wind from the right part of the Atlantic. No one ever notices but it's there. I love it.

It's nostalgic in a way.

But it's never missing the cold itself for me. For very few people it is, I think.

*

This is, of course, personal perspective and my experience is not universal. I'm a person from continental climate with harsh winters and hot summers and a city dweller with occasional visit to country houses and a tiny bit of mountaineering experience.

An indigenous person from a place with barely any summer or a character from a fantasy everwinter country will probably differ from me.

There are, after all, simply people who genuinely love cold. A lot of them. It is, however, not the default northerner's experience.

But hey, it's still more complex than it's usually written.

*

If you want to read something focused on winter descriptions, there's Smilla's Sense of Snow by Peter Høeg.

It's hauntingly beautiful prose and the main character is from Greenland.

‘It’s freezing, an extraordinary -18 °C, and it’s snowing, and in the language which is no longer mine, the snow is qanik – big, almost weightless crystals falling in stacks and covering the ground with a layer of pulverized white frost.’

And then there's Moominland Midwinter. I think it gets better when you read it as an adult and it's probably still the best thing I have ever read about winter solstice.

Anyway.

I think we need more good winter stories.

[crepesuzette2023]

For John's Birthday: some of my favorite John POV fics

Drop Chute (bookofapril). "The last stall on the end had an “out of service” sign on it: he darted in, locked the door, and sat down on the lid of the toilet. Thank god it was clean. He put his glasses in his pocket. Then he drew up his legs and rested his head on his knees, the cool embroidered satin of his trousers a balm on his forehead, safely hidden from sight." (1967, John vs. Robert F.)

I Think of Things We Did (J_Deandra_j). "He sucked Paul’s dumb, lovely fat lips, licked his teeth, tasted the drumbeat of Paul’s heart in the stubble threatening to erupt beneath his jaw, and his soul awoke like a sad bitch at the shudder of Paul’s skin under his tongue." (Obertauern)

at midnight (anonymous). "The first time John lets another man press against him, it feels like dying." (Long brilliant character study)

Sunday Driver (@boshemians). "Tara Browne is the kind of pretty boy who wouldn’t bat an eye at being called one. Proud of it, even, and not shy of an excuse to do just that—bat his eyes, or eyelashes really, at anyone. Men, women, dogs. It annoys John when Paul does it but it annoys him even more in Tara because of the money thing, the always having had it, so that he is not so much coy as simpering." (65/66, John v. Tara B.)

February in New Orleans (@eveepe). “Kiss it,” said May, from where she was tucked in beside Linda. “Go on, he likes that.”—“Do what she says, baby.” Linda leaned over to slide her hand into Paul’s hair and guide his head gently towards John. (John and May visit Paul and Linda in 1975)

deeper than oceans you run (@orphanbeat). "Rich kisses him slowly, purposefully, as he does them all. John thinks he probably likes Rich’s kisses the best, then realizes that they all must do." (Beatles OT4, Greek Island AU)

Our Version of Events (@javelinbk). "There are also some stories that have just tilted the world’s axis slightly, asking questions like if Brian hadn’t found them, would they still be famous? The answer, according to that writer, was no, which John felt gave Brian far too much credit and Paul’s bullheadedness too little." (John discovers fan fiction in 1971)

non nobis solum (downtothelastdrop). “I think it’s cute,” Helen says again. “The way he looks at you. He likes to push back, doesn’t he, but I bet when you get down to it he’d do anything you asked.” (John's fascination with Paul in school uniform)

Bermuda (@scurator). "Today he felt that life really might begin at forty, if a bloke could just admit certain predilections to himself." (1980 as it should have been)

The McCartney Issue (@pauls1967moustache). "It’s only because it’s Perfect Beatle Paul with a dildo up his ass that anyone cares at all." (John Lennon's purely artistic appreciation of Linda McCartney's Playboy spread of her husband)

dreaming of the past (@revollver). "Meanwhile, the real Paul, sweet boyish features and Beatle-cut grown a touch too long, can be seen on the coffee table, inspecting the cupcake wrappers on George’s plate. All John gets is a brief look: soft curve of a furred thigh as Paul darts behind the paper cups. Graceful calf and perfect, miniature foot. Tantalising glimpse of one arse cheek." (1969 John imagines Tiny Paul to distract himelf from the present–with delightful consequences)

ageless children, animal sweat (eyeball2eyeball): "Looks like Pete’s got his night lined up, eh?” He looks back to John and rests his chin on his palm and smiles, this small secretive thing, and John can’t help but be convinced that Paul knows what he’s thinking somehow — dangerous, that. “What about you?” (Hamburg)

[quixotical-lymbo]

Hello there!😁

If u can of not, I would like to request MK, Wukong, &/or Macaque (U choose may choose who if u don't want to write all😊)x female reader headcanon that does photography(& maybe videography). They enjoyed it as a hobby as a child and continues on with age. Like taking videos or pictures with friends and family so she doesn't forget the good times.

Pairing: Wukong, Macaque, MK x fem!Reader Rating: SFW Warnings/Tags: Fluff, just fl u f f, and Macaque being a lil buttwipe. Word Count: 500+ words

WUKONG 

☀️ ️If Wukong had a partner that regularly took photos then be prepared to have your camera roll be 65% full of his beautiful face. 

☀️ He thinks your hobby is nice and would indulge in it to make you happy; you need a close up of a funny looking bug in that tree? Well, up you go! Oh, what's that? You couldn't catch up to the bird that keeps flying away? Have no fear, Wukong is here to help! 

☀️ When you're not looking, he'll take your camera/and or camcorder and take secret photos/videos for you to find later. They'll either be full of sweet praises or silly jokes and close-up shots of him messing around in your room. 

MK 

🍜 MK seems to be the type to appreciate every form of artistic expression, including photography. When he learns that you've had it as a hobby since you were a kid, he'll insist on being your muse or suggesting things for you to take photos of–cuz, y'know he's the type to think everything is an important memory to keep record of. 

🍜 "Oh, oh, take this one! This one!" 

🍜 "What about this one? It has four buttons on it!" 

🍜 "Don't forget to take a pic of that corner of Pigsy's shop-!" 

🍜 All in all, he's very happy when he looks in your album to find a lot of photos of him and you spending time together—MK's heart swells when he found that you even included a few of his suggestions in the album, but his face exploded when he found the photo of you kissing his cheek while he was distracted by something out of the shot.

MACAQUE 

🌙  While he respects your craft, he doesn't understand your insistence on trying to snap pictures of him. Don't get him wrong, he'll allow you to take some photos of him if he accidentally photo bombs the shot, but more…intimate photos are a hard no from him (especially since he knows how much you scrapbook). 

🌙 You could say he's embarrassed at the idea of coming across a lovey-dovey section of your collection of photos featuring the two of you. He can already hear the teasing comments from a certain group. 

🌙 There have been times when you tried to sneak a few shots of him, but these plans were all thwarted as he disappeared before the shutter went off. He'd reappear behind you, kiss your cheek, then tauntingly say you'll probably get him next time. 

🌙 And get him you did.

🌙 It was a random Tuesday when the two of you were chilling in your home/apt and a movie was playing on the TV. One thing led to another and you two began making out on the couch. Macaque was so into it that he didn't even feel you reach underneath the couch for your camera. 

🌙 The shutter went off and Macaque just..laid there above you frozen, wide-eyed, with his cheeks flushed and hair all in disarray. 

🌙 You had to beg and plea to keep the photo, but he relented after you promised you'll keep it out of the public's eye. No one else deserved to see that photo but you. 

🍜 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. sparkle banner(s) by @adornedwithlight !!

[lefty-scribes]

sunflower

Summary: After coming home late from a stressful day at work, Spencer needs nothing more than to be in your arms in order to feel like himself again. You offer your touch to him in more ways than one.

or

melodramatic handjob :>

Word Count: 3423

Songs: ‘cry’ by cigarettes after sex may fit !!

Pairing: softdomme!reader x sub!spencer

Warnings: smut (18+ please), choking (m receiving), spencer cries xoxo, fully consensual but his reactions are described as ‘involuntary’ sometimes, sudden tense switch at the end bc it felt right idk, 65% buildup, 15% action, 20% orgasm LOL

a/n: guys the transition from comfort to seggsy just happened out of nowhere and the pacing is aggressively slow, prob making this hard to get off to. i’m sorry. also if you don’t think you should be reading this (🔞) you’re probably right ?? but please don’t tell me about it. do comment anything else though if you're feeling up to it :3

With a twist of his hand on the doorknob and a step through the door, Spencer took his long awaited whiff of home. It smelled of cedarwood and floral candles and you, and the tension released from his shoulders completely for the first time today.

He walked straight to the bedroom where he knew you’d still be up waiting for him, door open with a lit bedside light to welcome him despite his insistence that your sleep is more important. The urge didn’t even come up to wash his hands, disinfect his phone, or sanitize his work bag, being replaced instead by his desire to be in your presence.

As he’d suspected, there you were, sitting up on the bed you shared, eyes fighting to stay open as they flitted through the pages of a book. The comforter covered your legs, and only a thin sleep shirt separated your back from the headboard you leaned against, the shape of your nipples hardly poking through. Spencer hesitated to walk in and ruin the pretty picture.

When you noticed him, a fond smile grew on your face and you dropped your book to open your arms wide for him. He slowly walked over to you, stomach twisting just a little at the fear of being a bother, and started to position himself as he did whenever he needed a bit of extra comfort. He gave you a quick peck and settled down so his head rested on your lap, lying down on his side with his arm hugging your bare thighs. His long frame curled sideways by your legs under the blanket. He said nothing when you combed your fingers through his hair—just held you a bit tighter; nuzzled his cheek impossibly closer.

You broke the silence, absentmindedly separating small locks of his hair now with your fingers. “Want to talk about it?” you asked, to which he shook his head, movement still restricted by your thighs on his cheek, hating that he didn’t have more to say. Hated to have to make you pry just to hear about his day, but all the more in awe of how attuned you were to his emotions—even more than he was sometimes. Hated being moody and uncommunicative, but his brain was betraying him.

Your thumb now stroked his eyebrow, smoothing it out. Every part of him that your fingers touched relaxed in its wake, coupled with the scent of your lotion and laundry into his breaths. He finally spoke up, voice slightly muddled from his cheek against your leg; perhaps he sounded like his handwriting would sound, though he hoped he was more understandable than that.

“Per hour of sleep we lose, human blood pressure tends to increase by 3 to 5 millimeters of mercury, so you waiting up for me this late probably already caused an increase of 10 mmHg. Cortisol levels can also increase by up to 80% when sleep deprived, and your reaction time can slow by up to 500 milliseconds, which will make it more unsafe for you to drive tomorrow.” I appreciate you so much, baby, but you shouldn’t have waited up, is what he wanted to say. It never came out that way. I love when you greet me. Don’t put your health at risk for me. I’m sorry I’m late. But it always came out instead as numbers and statistics because that’s all he knows how to do, and it’s the only way his voice knows how to love, but you get it. He wants to add more.

You get him. “Stop worrying, Spence. I need to see you just as much as you need to see me. Can’t sleep otherwise,” you assured him. Goosebumps rose on his skin as you rubbed slow, pressured circles onto his forehead, massaging him properly now. Maybe your words were supposed to make him feel better, but he couldn’t shake the guilt in his gut. His burden complex weighed heavier today.

“My Spencer,” you breathed. Heat rose onto his cheeks. Your Spencer. “What do you need from me?”

He laid still on your lap, face now turned upward to memorize your own, pondering on the question. Always too scared to ask, though he knew what he needed. “Anything you’ll give me,” he whispered.

Now freshly dried from his shower, Spencer walked toward where you stayed sitting on the bed just as you had been when he arrived. He stood completely bare before you, an unlikely mix of both self-consciousness and pride filling him as you looked him up and down. The implied power imbalance of your clothed decency juxtaposed with his nude vulnerability has just occurred to him; he felt a rush in his stomach.

You pulled the covers off and spread your legs apart, then patted the space in between. Spencer crawled onto the bed as carefully as he could, trying not to shake it too much, now unsure of how long he could last. He found a seat between your thighs, the outer edge of his legs lining the inner side of your own, his back flush against your torso.

Goosebumps rose on his skin when your hands trailed up his neck, grazing his ears, then his cheekbones, to comb themselves through his soft hair. He shivered, just once. His mouth parted slightly in a shaky exhale and his head lolled back toward you, as a cat would, until it rested gently on your shoulder, full trust in you to support him. His eyelashes fluttered to a close as you slowly but firmly squeezed your fingers into a closed fist against his scalp, hair tangled within your grasp, letting the leverage of your palms against his head do the tugging. Despite the tightness of the skin around his temples, his facial muscles only continued to relax as he silently handed you all control of him. He released a shallow gasp as you gave your wrists a slow twist before releasing his hair entirely.

You slid your fingers down to his nipples, running your thumbs over them each for not long enough. He let out a sigh that must’ve released more air than his lungs had the capacity to carry in the first place. The stresses of the day began to leave with it, Spencer being overcome instead by the relief of being back in the comfort of his own home—in the arms of his beloved. Your hand was cool against his humid skin, raising goosebumps in its wake. Ears ringing, he hardly heard his own voice releasing a shaky, dragged out, sh— shhhit, between gritted teeth.

Your hands trailed down even further toward his soft stomach which was scrunched into a bean-like mound from his position against you, grazing down his happy trail before ignoring his painful erection and inching toward his thighs instead. Your nails dragged gently over his inner thighs and he pried them open for you; all for you.

He whined under his breath and his legs flexed under your touch, only the duration of a single twitch, lifting his hips up subconsciously to contact your hands where he needed them most. You gently pushed him back down, wordlessly insisting on giving attention to his soft thighs, asserting that it was your pace being followed. And he couldn’t object. He didn’t want to. Always so patient with him, he longed for you to be proud of his obedience. His thighs were yours to touch, after all, and so was what rested now painfully hard between them.

His head still laying against your shoulder, you gently swiped your tongue against his ear lobe, getting his attention. You whispered to him, and he was so receptive to you. “Do you think you’re ready?”

He didn’t need to see it to know, but he glanced down anyway, his cheeks burning up to a colour he imagined matched his throbbing penis. He ached to be touched there, swallowing at the thought.

He hummed lazily in response, already lightheaded from the rush in his head. He tilted his head in slow roll to place clumsy kisses all over your face, whatever part of it he could reach, nodding continuously to please touch me, I’m ready. He thought his lips had caught your nose, cheekbones, ear, jaw… but at that point he’d already been intoxicated by your touch and couldn’t tell the difference; only wanted to taste the saltiness of your supple skin.

“Words, Spence.” With his head still turned to you, you caught his bottom lip between your teeth and nipped at it until it puffed up, drawing a light whimper from him. He arched his neck sideways to grant you access to the rest of him that your lips and teeth could reach. More of him now exposed to you, he quietly pleaded as you lightly sucked on sensitive points behind his jaw. A lone tear slipped out of his eye closest to you, and you lapped it up as it hung from his jaw.

“Ready. Always ready for you,” he choked, voice already hoarse. Your ability to take him to the clouds far before touching the most sensitive part of him only turned him on further, as well as the nurturing and patient but complete control you exerted. He was undeserving and yet eternally grateful. Swore to himself he’d spend the rest of his days trying to love you as completely as you did him.

Upon squeezing out some lubricant from the bottle in your bedside drawer, you grasped his erection in your slick hand, your other hand exploring the rest of his body, and he gasped with an unintentional jolt. From this position you two were in, it allowed the ridges of your curled palm and fingers, as well as the coolness of your wedding ring, to make full contact with the sensitive vein along the underside of his cock.

You played him like an instrument, and the sounds he made proved nothing less. You’d glide your sharp knuckles over him, barely making contact with him, much to his protest; your hand would run along the thin, elastic stretch of skin connecting his head to the underside of his cock. Or you’d bunch your delicate fingertips together at his tip, letting the widening of his cock separate them as you pushed down toward his balls. He almost wished, as the pads of your fingers trailed his length, that your fingerprints could be ingrained in his skin, if only to be claimed by you even more. His breaths grew laboured and he slowly lost the shame in his whimpers.

Your other hand moved to his lips, muffling his sounds slightly. Your breath tickled his ears, and he threw an arm back to grasp your hair or neck or whatever he could grab, trying fruitlessly to get closer for you to ground him.

He whined helplessly against your now vibrating hand, though it did nothing to quiet his volume as you so creatively played with his cock, fidgeting with him and using him like nothing. Tension was prominent between his eyebrows sewn together, and surely his forehead carried a few creases as well.

You gently ran your thumb against his bottom lip, and he instinctively pulled it into his mouth. Your thumb pushed degradingly against the inside of his cheek, forcing his mouth to open slightly. His tongue circled your thumb out of habit, and the slightest bit of spit dribbled out the corner of his lips.

The room started to smell and feel like sweat, though he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was experiencing everything and nothing all at once, sensations heightened yet brain numbed. Rare were the occasions that he couldn’t explain everything, and the times where he couldn’t think straight, but he revelled in it. Nowhere else was Spencer able to be completely defenseless and equally safe but in your arms—or hands, in this case. His guard wholeheartedly down, he cherished the privilege of being worriless and thoughtless.

His brain’s unusual absence of words and knowledge—two things which he so dutifully guarded just to feel competent—was welcomed because you were around to protect his vulnerability in the meantime.

By now, from the sweat or his own sheer lack of control, Spencer had slid down slightly so his shoulder blades were flush with your breasts; your hard nipples pressed against him through the soft silk of your nightshirt and it reminded him how eager he was to return the favour. He was leaning back a bit more, hardly noticing the ache from his weight resting on his tailbone.

The position gave you access to move your working hand even lower, gentle fingers starting to toy with his balls before moving down toward the sensitive patch of skin right beneath. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth when you hit it, hums and groans gradually increasing in pitch. Against his own will, he clenched around nothing, causing his perineum to shift against your fingers. He choked out another embarrassingly loud sound, mouth shamelessly open now, and then did it again.

You kissed his jaw. “How do you feel?” you whispered. You gave more attention to the pink head now, fingers tickling his smooth tip, thumb pressing down periodically on the ridges. Your other hand played with hair.

“You treat me so well,” he breathed, as earnestly as he could, turning his head to give a sloppy kiss to your wrist, drunk on your touch, your warmth, and you. “Love you so much,"—he swallowed—"ah— oh, f— fuck— Love what you do to me.”

“You deserve it all.”

His moans got more high pitched as you worked, and his breaths came in faster than his chest could keep up with. His hands grasped at your thighs to steady himself, blunt nails digging in.

“My Spencer baby, you look oh so beautiful,” you praised, voice dripping in sheer adoration. His eyes drew open and his gaze rolled back, then lazily toward you. Another tear slowly escaped the corner of his eye, and he wished he weren’t tearing up if only to see your pretty face more clearly. His eyebrows were still tense under the nearness of his undoing, tilted in a pleading pout.

“Please, please-please-please-please-plea— mmngh…” He pleaded and begged for release, no longer making sense of what was coming out of his mouth, eyes ever-downturned and watering once again.

He was helplessly putty in your hands, his body no longer his own, but rather a shell of just euphoria and feeling. He was floating and completely at your mercy, just as he loves to be.

“I love you, please, I—” His sentences grew choppy and more and more incoherent, his speech being mixed with unintelligible throaty noises. His chest rose and fell significantly faster than it had earlier, lips hardly separating as he mumbled a yesyesyesyes keep going yes just like that please, and his hips thrusted up to move his length further into your hand.

His desperate hands sought purchase from whatever they could grab, now tightly squeezing and scratching at your thighs. He readjusted his sweat-slicked palms as they slipped down your skin.

Your hand in his hair slid down roughly to grab his jaw in utter possessiveness, twisting it up toward you to plant a sloppy kiss on his lips. He did the best he could to return it. “Go ahead, baby,” you mumbled against his mouth.

He whimpered into the kiss, with no more capacity to spare you an audible ‘thank you’ as usual. You squeezed your working hand just the slightest bit tighter around his cock, working your way back up to his ever-sensitive pink head.

“Shitshitshitshit, fuck, oh, God. I’m so close, I’m so close, I’m so—ah—” How naughty he felt. Maybe you’d tease him later about the junk coming out of his mouth, flustering him with the thought of what the neighbours would think. But as a sunflower proved its affinity to the sun and its warmth, all he could do now was gaze at you mindlessly, his neck aching at the effort. Under the dim yellow lamp lighting up the room, he embodied the sunflower’s golden glow. Its face would follow the bright star by nature and so would Spencer's, happily compelled by some force of nature to show you his authentic self as he held on so close to his orgasm. You smiled at him.

The bed squeaked under his shaking legs. Lone tears made their way down his face, free-falling now, and he made no move to wipe them. As he neared his peak, you kept your hand on his cock, hand wrapped snugly around his tip, angling it toward his chest.

You grabbed his throat with the other, fingers squeezing inward toward the two valleys around his neck that carried his precious arteries, and he felt the first spurt of cum burst through with a loud wail of surprise.

“Baby—“ he tried breathlessly, eyes still attempting to meet yours to please understand what I’m saying, please be proud of me, “baby, I’m coming, I’m fucking coming, I’m…” His muscles spasmed and sharply leaned him forward, causing your hand to obstruct his throat just a bit more, and he was thankful for it if only to ground his shaking to a minimum.

His head was pounding and his vision grew spotty as he basked in the feeling of his life, and his penis, in your hands, and the purpose with which you handled him as he prayed for this state of euphoria to not simply kill him. Though that wouldn’t be a terrible way to go.

He fought the urge to squeeze his eyes shut, yet still saw only white. He was burning up and held no sense of himself as his muscles twitched in waves, knees buckling, though you were there to hold him through it all. His mouth opened in a silent scream as you continued moving your hand along his sensitive length.

His panting gradually became less breathy and more audible, now backed by a throaty groan with every breath he released. Your name became the only thought in his mind, and he let it shakily slip out of his mouth, not caring how absolutely brainless he sounded. With each spurt of his release onto his chest, each involuntary clenching and thrust of his hips, he repeated it. Whether a cry of pleading, gratitude, or adoration, he wasn’t certain—but it all centred around you.

You talked him through the final stages of his orgasm with gentle murmurs of praise, pushing his hips down to forcefully guide him through it. Good boy, Spencer. Keep going. I’m right here. You got it. You’re doing great. Almost done. I love you. You’re so safe here. Your ministrations on his sensitive penis didn’t slow as you patiently waited for him, though he had to rest his hand on your wrist to slow you down, eyes finally falling closed; you obliged. His body offered you one final tremor of overwhelming pleasure.

The horrors of the day seemed to have been released with his release. But with the way you were now atop him, cleaning up the mess on his chest with your tongue, then crawling back up to his own mouth to offer him a taste, he felt his once-against stiffening cock asking for more where that came from. His aftercare be damned. No longer overwhelmed by his need for solace, this new rise of arousal was geared toward you—thanking you, loving you, cherishing you, pleasuring you in the way his words so often failed to do.

He would do for you what you had so generously done for him, and more, if you’d let him. He could give you his tongue, his length, his fingers, a toy—or whatever you wanted. Offer himself to be used and taken however you pleased. Longed to give you everything he could. He was yours, after all. 

Spencer told himself that there would be time for all that, though he always worried otherwise. Keeps it in his head, but he pleads every day that you wouldn’t end up like those he sought justice for at work, or be the body that haunted him until he arrived home to you, or the victim of a target aimed at him. Pleads every day that there would be more time.

But in the meantime, with not much else he can do, just as a sunflower would, he swears to turn his back to everything else dark about the world and follow his sun as long as he is able.