#i feel like there arent many people out there like me
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(spoilers for ONE, since I know some people that follow me haven't watched ONE, there will be a cut before the spoilers)
plain text: spoilers for one, since i know some people that follow me haven't watch one, there will be a cut before the spoilers
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something really interesting about ONE is that when people tell you it "subverts the original object show formula" They arent lying. Like, at all.
Its obvious that "hey! this show is kinda messed up actually" as soon as you learn that the first six contestants had actual lives outside of being teleported to The Plane.
They all have or had jobs, they have family, and they have names. Airy assigns them a name that's solely based on their object, which is normal for shows like this, but Scenty and Moldy were definitely Not Happy, and its understandable, basically being reduced to your object is not the best. and for Moldy, being named after a infection she has on her is also pretty shitty too, but we were guessing that Ary was just lazy
I love this show, dont get me wrong! but holy hell dude!!!!! this show is fucked up, and it messed me up but in the best way possible.
this show is downright slightly terrifying at times, this show tackles mature themes you don't see in many object shows, and the only other show that handle stuff like this is LOVE OF THE S*N!
obviously all object shows handle things differently, and they are becoming more mature as time goes on, but its amazing to see.
spoilers below, but know that this is a long post.
In the later episodes, that is it really when it breaks the formula for these shows. Backpack is eliminated and brought back to the real world, and it's shown that he's literally homeless and jobless. He sits in an alleyway as it starts to hail, and he spends weeks riding across the United States to Bridgeport to find Soda Bottle.
Put yourself in Backpack's shoes (or lack thereof, I guess??). He's newly homeless and most likely got fired because of his absence at work.
He has nothing but some notes and maybe some money if he had a wallet in there. He travels in multiple cars across the US, only for Bryce to slam the door in his face! It's understandable for him to panic, he was eliminated so much earlier than Liam, and he never even expected to see Liam again.
When watching the show, I was, at first, confused as to why Soda Bottle slammed the door on Backpack, but then I realized, "Oh my god. Of course, he doesn't want to see Backpack. That's the last person he would expect to see. Soda Bottle would have no idea how Backpack even got his address too."
I don't have much to say about this portion of the show, so lets move onto when Soda Bottle is taken back to The Plane and Backpack is left alone to find out more about ONE.
Backpack, who is very obviously struggling (in more ways than one) is left alone, and Soda Bottle was basically the only person in the real world who was there to witness the show with Backpack, so they could talk about it, but now that he's alone, Backpack, in a way, lost that crutch that Soda Bottle provided. He's got nobody to talk about this with now!
When he gets to see Airy, Backpack has basically "lost it", he's spent so much time and effort looking into the show only for nothing to show up, so when he pushes Airy to the ground, its like all his rage and pent up emotions bubble up and he just attacks Airy.
It's understandable to attack him, to me. Being forced to compete in a show you want no part of, being taken away from your life and, in Charlie (Tomato) 's case, being taken away from his mother.
I'll probably add onto this when I feel like it, but let me know your thoughts!
#this show makes me ill /vpos#hfjone#cheesy hfj#liam hfjone#liam plecak#airy hfjone#and other people that are mentioned but I'm too lazy to add their tags#text post
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#tbd#i sometimes genuinely feel like a freak for liking this sport so much#like ik everyone who follows it LIKES it#but to me its like. incredibly important and a big part of my life#idk ive never really been good with interests and shame surrounding them#probably has to do with years of bullying#and me being audhd and hyperfixating#but ive always tried to hide my interests from the ppl sround me bc i know many others wont#wont… be as passionate#which isnt their fault i get it. i am a bit unusual#but i just wish i knew some people who share my level of enthusiasm#i feel like there arent many people out there like me#sigh. if you relate pls lmk it would help me feel less alone but no need to lie#im just rlly going through it rn
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#so its canon then that yosuke tends to forget to take of himself when he gets busy/stressed/etc then :)#yosuke's already a lanky ass like my guy stop making people worry about you!!!#also i like juxtaposing this against his group cafe date like of wanting to date someone he can look after because its both#bro you cant even take care of yourself#but also yosuke understanding himself enough that to be cared for is to be loved#anyway this is why you should always always have lunch with yosuke and feed him thanks for coming to my ted talk#OK BUT I also love that it's something that yu noticed about yosuke too because its so closely related to how he does. you know.#feed his friends food as a metaphor for love and all that and how yosuke hasnt had much attention (from him) lately#ok jk I'll stop being delulu but also really.#i feel a lot of Feelings about how yosuke and chie are the later members to awaken their 3rd tier#for meta reasons obviously it's also the fact that after maxing out yosuke's slink there arent as many opportunities to hang out#and there are so many good fics of that i slurp it all up#but for yosuke to point it out makes me so. SO.#anyway one final note is also yes i commented about how yosuke wasnt really doing a great job looking after himself but#i also think about his later comment that when people are relying on him it makes him want to do his best for others#and how he says he will always be there for his partner#and it makes me interpret all of that as yosuke being very roundabout in saying that he wants the two of them to look after each other#he's good with his queue
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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okay can I vent check hashtags
#so basically there’s this kid at my school spreading rumors that we are dating#Even tho we arent#I overheard him telling people he’s going to “break up” with me#And he’s getting really creepy like-#Following me to all my classes#And waiting for me outside them too#I told him many times to leave me alone and that I don’t like him#But he would just tell me that he doesn’t like me#Even tho I have like 20 people come up to me everyday telling me he likes me#Like one time he told me I fell asleep in my global class#BUT WE DONT EVEN HAVE GLOBAL TOGETHER SO HOW DOES HE KNOW#At this point I’m getting really creeped out like to the point I wanna switch my classes#but I don’t think I can bc we are to deep into the year#like he knows what I like on insta even tho I told him I feel uncomfortable#But I think I’m just going to block him on instagram and get my sit changed bc Im Fr done with him#But anyways if you read this far thank you so much😭😭 if you have any advice I’ll gladly take it
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honestly about to go through my villain arc. employers will go on and on about being inclusive of people with disabilities but still require standing for jobs that can be done sitting down, or a job description will say "walking" "on your feet" etc and not specify whether or not wheelchair usage counts for that by their standards. sometimes it feels like wheelchair users are expected to all be geniuses who can afford to go through years of college, as if to make up for our disabilities. it isnt fair and i just fucking want to survive in a world thats stacked against me and people like me
#ok to rb#i dont feel like tagging it though im just. screams into a pillow#sorry for not being professor x. sorry abled people for existing. are you happy#once again i am begging for the government to actually take care of people who arent cut out for helping ceos profit lol#i could do so much for the world if i could just stop worrying about my financial stability#but noooo that doesnt benefit the rich cunts in charge. ok.#genuinely at this point im largely staying alive out of spite#because i KNOW many people would rather ''useless'' people like me just go die#and it is painfully obvious#ableism cw
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I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.
for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.
when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.
equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?
I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?
I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!
BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS
(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either ���� can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)
#cant even say its only het shippers because lgbt shippers do it too#i enjoy the ships i see more as equals. like cynonari and xingyue for example#first ones that came to mine lol#everyone feminizes the shit out of nari calling him cynos wide constantly but they're both strong leader types with a soft side#wife*#THEYRE SO EQUAL???? AND THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO STRONG????#then xingyue is funny because ive seen people frame BOTH yingxing and dan feng as the “wife” at different times. proof theyre equals!#maybe not proof lmao but you cant say the arrogant craftsman and proud dragon arent equals who get along super well#they arent het opposites at all imo. not even close#i just really enjoy balanced equals over unbalanced opposites. because the feminine is always seen as lesser and weaker than the masculine#and that always bothers me a lot lmao#im probably the minority here. im giving benefit of the doubt that people just never thought about it and do what theyre taught#but if everyone actually orefers this and its on purpose.......please reconsider 🤣#prefers*#lee text#lee rambles#gay#lgbtq#gay ships#one relationship i felt was presented as equals (from best of my memory) was korrasami#they balance each other out and i see them as equals. one doesn't lead over the other. they're both leaders in their own ways. and carers#one reason i dont date is because most people are ovsessed with this unbalance opposite gender roles thing and i cant stand it lmao#obsessed* am tired of tag typos i miss until after i hit enter hfhfhdhdjdjsjs#this was long and rambly but i suddenly had many feelings and needed to say them#*
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OKAY RANT ON VIVZIEPOP SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT CARE
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I like Viv as an artist, shes inspired me since frickin middleschool with her animations, character designs, and now 2 shows holy crap. I just really wish she'd get off social media for her own mental health cuz good god it's not great to see a whole thread of tweets arguing with someone about the dislike of fanfiction having homophobic undertones its just... agdhdh Viv is a pretty controversial person due to unfortunate past events and having shows that present some darker subject matter. Honestly? I want to see Viv not just move past the previous controversy, but learn from it to be better. Its totally fair tho if you think the handling of certain topics arent done well, there are things people will have preference over. And I dont give a fuck about shipping, I dont wanna see it, frankly. If you're doin somethin shady with it and I see it I'm certainly not going to like it and I'll do my best to not interact with you, but I think we should make tagging things just a common thing? Keeps things organized and people can intake what they want while the stuff they dont want is not being shown to them. Same goes with headcanons they're someone imagining something, they arent holding the creators hostage to make it canon. Canon is silly anyways! Both the OG and a headcanon can exist because AUs and headcanons are just another version of the thing. Headcanons arent going to change the episodes, they'll still be the same way the creators made it. So like... chill.
Just as long as it has no mental or physical negative implications or intent against actual living people I will add.
Dont harrass actors because they play a villian you need to separate fiction and reality it's literally their job to pretend to be someone else.
#vivziepop#vivzipop critical#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#it sucks to see someone i looked up to seemingly keep stirring the controversy pot#the shows arent for everyone#things arent always going to be appealing to everyone and thats ok#i think viv needs to let go the fact some people do not like her or her shows instead of fighting people for a whole thread#im embarrassed to say im a fan of these shows???#and dont get me wrong i think they kinda suck sometimes and the writing inconsistancy makes me so so frustrated#but there are a few moments where i really feel connected to their struggles#loneliness and a fear of rejection are something i empathize with a lot#im frustrated because of what these shows COULD be#and how happy it makes me to see these shows be enjoyed so much because tbh everything about it is full of things we are told#is bad and weird and cringe and something real proffesionals would never respect#and they made it! it lets me know if im passionate enough people like me can do what we love and still be successful#i hope for many other passion projects from artists in the future who may be inspired by not just Vivzie but the tons of indie stuff out rn#crowmancerx#idk just a rant#i do want to lay out at some point my many issues with the writing of Vivz's shows but ill holdoff on big rants for a bit#agsudvdhdb#its been a rough day at school
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there really is a genre of post of people who's online experiences are Not Universal making some wild claims
#like that post that claimed sites like neopets didnt exist anymore#or that there arent roleplaying forums anywhere#etc etc#like. yes it is possible to go on the internet and only go on like. the big social medias#but there ARE still many other sites outside that that are very worth checking out#hell. flash game websites and similar still very much exist!!#postatoes#like. i just feel sympathy for the OP when i see those posts because the posts are always so sad#over a nostalgia that is still there if you walk outside of the walmart of social medias and look for holes in the wall#like. has the internet changed? absolutely. but so much of the posts are less about that and more like.#the person browses the internet as an adult in a different way than they did as a kid#they arent looking up ''cool games'' and downloading a virus on their computer#as a counterpoint maybe kids DONT look this stuff up now and stick to tiktok or w/e /are missing out on so many fun websites#i wouldnt know#but it does bug me when i see people say these sites are gone forever when they arent
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Man the way discourse on here is almost the exact same as it was a decade ago with us making the same observations and coming to the same conclusions got me thinking maybe we've done enough discussion....................
#i had a whole giant rant in the tags but tumblr fucking logged me out#anyway#basically we are gonna talk ourselves to death about every political issue it seems like#and most if not all the hot takes on here are lukewarm at best or just an echochamber for someone to feel important on their page#on one hand obviously u arent gonna organize online for fear of getting caught#but how many times are we gonna teach people what imperialism is and how fucked this country is to anyone who isnt rich#how much awareness are we gonna raise bc i feel like a lot of ppl are aware they just dont know what to do/dont care#I urge anyone to start doing shit locally in terms of mutual aid and joining local groups bc at least u can actually build a community#it just takes effort#like niggas want revolution when half of yall cant organize and a lot of yall just be straight up antiblack asf#and on top of that a lot of dont know what we talking about so#what now
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Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
#diary#god I could rant about about this forever#tw mentions of assault in the tags dont read if that makes u uncomfortable#im kinda getting tired of people asking why i dont date 🤩 it sends me into a mental spiral hahahaaaaa#i just tell people im not looking for anything serious rn but its a big fat fucking lie because i DO want to date#but i think my nervous system is so shot from living with my dad still and he can be so emotionally abusive it's insane#it makes me not trust my judgement because shitty behavior is so normalized and i KNOW whats Right and Wrong but im so used to keeping the–#–peace because its a survival tactic for me and always has been#like when people like me i think one of two things usually:#1) they're genuinely interested in me and i hate myself so much i cant understand why anyone would like me#or 2) theyre interested in me for my body which is both easier to understand and terrifying because people in the past have hurt me because–#–they wanted to be with me. read between the lines for that one#because of how i grew up and what I've experienced i genuinely do not trust people. i trust no one fully and it kills me#i feel so fucking guilty all the time bc most people arent out to get you but that wasn't the case for me#i feel like i cant grow as a person because im stuck in a survival mindset. i KNOW why I people please and i hate it#i genuinely do love people and i want the best for them but its also ingrained into my head that if something is wrong it's My Fault#and there will be Consequences#back to dating though#there are so many reasons I do and dont want to date#i call myself a Helpless Romantic because there's no way I'll be dating in the near future. i cant just go on dates I have to know you for–#–a while and build trust. but what if it ends badly and im the idiot who cant take a goddamn hint and realise love isnt meant for someone–#–like me?#i grew up knowing my parents hated each other and “stayed together for the kids” whatever thet means. like that fucks with your mind#seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad made me snap out of the disney movie princess x prince charming daze everyone else was in as a kid#i realised very early on that relationships won't save you and can actually be the worst thing to ever happen to someone#theres more to this but ive already said enough lol. anyway
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↓↓ the stinky. the silly. the baby. he's so little and adorable. don't make fun of his early-game no-money-limited-choices clothes, he'd be sad T-T also, top one is the lake where adult!ren and i meet if i choose galar as the setting :3c
anyway idk if i'm playing any more despite not even reaching the first gym AKJNDSKJN
[ venting about having a bad time playing pkmn sword + talking around the dex.it Thing]
not me going "lalalala i wonder how many of our pkmn i can use to put a team together for my ren file in swsh?? teehee~~" and looking up the unobtainable pkmn list.
guess how many pkmn from our COMBINED teams i can get in the base game?......... three (3). one early game, two mid-to-late game. i could get 3 more in the post-game dlc, one through raids only, but idek if i'd WANT to replay the dlc...
then i looked at SV's unobtainable pkmn to see if i should play that instead, and it's a similar story. hell, both unobtainable pkmn lists have a LOT of crossover, which feels A Little Fucked to me. just how many people got shafted TWICE on the switch???
and suddenly i was hit with the force of how exhausted i was w this game after my first run-through... so now i'm instantly turned off from playing again jskdnjfJNSFJKN.
if i can't access half of my favs in EITHER mainline switch game, and the wild area feels this awful and overbearing to even RUN ACROSS through without catching anything, nevermind it being the core pkmn catching area... i have other games i can play instead :) and i'll just have to hope and pray that my babies show up in legends Z-A 😔
ugggghhhhhh. at least i got to make my little freak and scope out wedgehurst, and while i did want to see some of the places i think ren would want to study... maybe i can find an LP as a refresher. i think that's all i need from the game.
...i just realized this fits ren's lore too KJANKJDNKSJFNK omfg. ren starting his journey and having some fun (routes 1 and 2), suddenly getting overwhelmed and realizing very quickly that he's more interested in non-battling activities during his travels (looking at the scenery like the route 2 lake), so he quits his gym challenge to focus his attention elsewhere (him: spore research, photography, foraging... me: idk playing more of x or digging into my otome game backlog LOL)
i have so much more i could rant about w how uncomfy game.freak made this game (ex the pokedex constantly popping up to show you what you should catch instead of just... letting you play at your own pace...), and i have some positives (i think this was the right direction to go wrt the stylized character models and vibrant environment colors), but i'll stop here kjsnfkjn. i don't want to go full hater mode on a selfship post LMALSKDN.
#my feelings on dex.it have fluctuated so much ksjndkjn like. i was anti-dex.it bc i was sympathetic to the overworked staff#but then all of that evidence came out that the reasoning was all lies and they were reusing the old models and animations#(which doesn't mean the labor issues arent present -- it just means pkmn company found a way to cut corners to push a game out#instead of taking their time and treating ppl at game.freak better to make a better game)#and now with SV out we can see how many pkmn they've left out in BOTH games which like....#if i were at the company i would be ABSOLUTELY SURE to include every pkmn not included in swsh???? to appease dex.it people????#man. idk. 3ds > switch pkmn once again. i just wish i had it in me to continue IF ONLY to dress ren up like a fashion doll LMAO#let me transfer ren into my og save file so i have access to all of the stores and have tons of money ;w;#(tbc i'm not poopoo-ing the characters in these games. i only have a couple of specific character complaints in the switch games#and i have just as many issues w characters (if not more) in 3ds and earlier games. this is purely from a gameplay standpoint)#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#🐸 [ look ahead. ]#vent -
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since pepper was asking for it something that girls do that always makes me think 'cool gender' is not change their names despite it being historically masculine and re-defining the name through their identity and relationship to it.
#dylan mulvaney springs to mind. of course. along with some less famous examples.#shes a great example to give because a lot of things about her align with ideals of cishet feminine ideals and she could've changed her nam#to match. but chose to keep dylan. great gender moment#another thing that i always think is a cool gender is girls who understand femininity as non-necessary addition and arent afraid of#masculinity being a detractor in their appearance#this includes things like girls who talk openly about their dick or dont tuck or a girl i saw recently who rocked a full beard with#lashes a wig and a full beat#and donning a butch identity as a trans girl is always a 'cool gender' moment. especially if she feels little to no need to change much#about herself. the pressures to change yourself as even a cis woman are so high that cis women earn 'cool gender' points from other cis#women for openly combatting them by not performing. the same should be extended to trans sisters#i feel like the 'cool gender' moments most often live in autistic transmasc communities. who are more interested in the metaphysical.#(and there are less fun masculine compliments out there to give so cool gender exists to fill that hole)#but i agree with her. more trans girls and transfeminine people should be seen as people with 'cool genders'#not thinking of donning femininity when thinking of cool genders is indeed misogynistic. dare i say transmisogynistic#hope you guys enjoy me dickriding (so to speak) for the girls every few months. as pippa has pointed out to me many times its a core part o#who i am#what did she just send me hold on#'i prefer “niche enjoyer” to chaser actually'#(in response to me saying something about trans women being the niche in the lgbt im most drawn to. theres no way to say that without#it sounding weird. something something fetishisation often means genuine appreciation reads as predatory making uncomplicated love seem#impossible which further marginalises the fetishised community etc... im just chatting shit u get what i mean)#im like a platonic chaser. unless youre interested in doing something unlabelled with an emphasis on the psycho of psychosexual in the note#i would say that that role has already been filled but who is interested in upholding monogamy in this day and age
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google search: easiest way to become a captain of something so that i can be addressed as "Capt." on paperwork instead of "Mr.", "Mrs.", or "Ms."
#im aware of mx#i personally do not vibe with it#i am aware of many other potential neo-pronoun-esque terms i could use#but the bank and the pharamacy and all the other stupid corporations of the world arent going to care about that#and will just keep sending me mail addressed to 'Ms [my name]'#i must command a vessel#personally I'm hoping to steal a yacht from a billionaire#but of course ideally it'd be an old haunted pirate ship so the ghost crew can help me with the actual sailing#original post#also any other enbies out there uncomfortable with gender-neutral language that uses 'x' as a kind of cure-all?#it feels....othering#x is the unknown variable in an equation#it just feels weird to me personally when it's just sort of tacked on to the end of something#to indicate 'oh this thing is Weird and Different'#ofc these are all my personal preferences for my gender identity#obvs plenty of people out there like terms like 'Mx' and that's great for them#just not for me#gender#queer#language
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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad
#tw s3lf harm#i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual#its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3d ana#not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen#so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years#and to be clear im very pro recovery#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed#i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me#so for not its a whole lotta#male thinpo#slef harm#right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that#slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this#but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO#i joke of course#anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery#ana moots#body chex#someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable#at least for now#also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too#also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick#but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro#because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way#and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help
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