#i feel like there arent many people out there like me
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So cool that you know!! I'd love to take a class /gen
However, would he even be Sisyphus if he wasn't so self absorbed? I kind of gathered that it was his whole thing; in the way that he lacks even the empathy to care for how he impacts others so long as he gets his way, which eventually is exactly what he got (lol i love that bit).
The way I interpreted your implication is that if he reached out, he wouldn't have continued his terrible plots, and I love the idea of rehabilitating a formerly condemned character and i do believe we need to hold more space for that in the real world, but to do that, doesn't the individual need at the very least to even see their own fault and want the change?
I'm not a scholar in the topic so please correct me if I've been so heavily mistaken this whole time, but to all I've learnt thus far, Sisyphus simply lacked any of those requirements for redemption, becoming essentially an early example of a villain with antisocial personality disorder.
If your point is just that he wouldn't have done that if he was more community minded, then sure, I agree ! But I also think that at that point, it changes the story on such a fundamental level that it'd be a whole different thing - at that point I feel like there's gotta be other, better examples that could've been used, especially considering how many people arent familiar with that background for the story. (unless thats like the thing for your whole blog in which case, ignore that bit cause your post came to me by chance, didnt know/look deeper, my bad /nm /gen)
listen to me. listen. your actual job in life, and it sucks that your 5th grader teacher didnt explain this adequately enough, is to ask for help when you need it and to accept charity when it would take a weight from your shoulders. Otherwise you end up like Sisyphus- or even worse, Walter White
#im genuinely invested in learning if you have something to teach here#as we stand though i cant see him with the potential of being redeemed “had he asked for help” because he simply never wanted it (right?)#i could also be instinctively biased against him because i often see people romanticizing him without even knowing the tale lolol#i hope the italics and bolds helped /gen (i tried aa)
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#tbd#i sometimes genuinely feel like a freak for liking this sport so much#like ik everyone who follows it LIKES it#but to me its like. incredibly important and a big part of my life#idk ive never really been good with interests and shame surrounding them#probably has to do with years of bullying#and me being audhd and hyperfixating#but ive always tried to hide my interests from the ppl sround me bc i know many others wont#wont… be as passionate#which isnt their fault i get it. i am a bit unusual#but i just wish i knew some people who share my level of enthusiasm#i feel like there arent many people out there like me#sigh. if you relate pls lmk it would help me feel less alone but no need to lie#im just rlly going through it rn
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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I dont have a lot of sensory issues but i have eaten many many sandwiches. Im usually very turkey & mayo, but i have had some very interesting combinations.
The nicest thing about a sandwich is that you can put anything you like on it, really.
Chicken nuggets? They're just a chicken patty split up. Add a lil mayo or ketchup and that counts as a sandwich.
Hotdog? cut into circles on bread. Put ketchup. Done.
I like carrots, so ive had carrots cut up on sandwiches. Or shredded.
Ive had potato salad on sandwiches too, but if they dont like inconsostent texture then maybe go for something thats really blended or in the food processor. Its just another option for like... a spread to go with something.
Also applesauce as a spread/sauce. Thats very wet tho so use sparingly.
Hummus is pretty consistent in texture and has protein which can help balance out a diet. Could also try with cucumber or diced red peppers.
Worth noting that theres chocolate hummus which sounds gross at first but it kind of just tastes like brownie batter. But pricey for an all the time food but maybe a treat.
Peanutbutter & apple - idk if peanutbutter works for them, and bananas seem like they may have too much mush going on, but apples cut in slices as if they were a lunchmeat/cheese has worked for me.
Creamcheese also. I've also done creamcheese & cucumber, creamcheese & salami.
Also strawberry creamcheese and strawberries was a pretty good one.
Egg...has a strong smell and not everyone likes the flavor or texture, but if you can get a consistent scrambled egg texture then egg sandwiches maybe. My dad used to mix em, add a little bit of water, and microwave them for 1 minute on like 80% power. A lot of people mock me for the microwegg, but it works and it comes out pretty much the same every time if you have one standard method.
If cucumber for crunch & moisture: beansprout or water chestnut could work. Imo the tastes arent too overpowering and they add the same kind of texture, for me. However! Beansprouts are stringier and water chestnuts are... a little wet.
In the other direction: spinach (not cooked) could be too close to lettuce, but i always found that it had a more consistently dry texture. I feel like it goes bad friggin within Days but also you could try putting that in a bananabread or banana muffin (you like. Food processor it in and it makes it a little spongy but it doesnt taste like spinach. Also its super green)
Have heard good things about spam, though its very salty and too close to ham for me. If ham texture gets to them tho and not ham taste, there's that.
Could try also sausage patties but like watch for whether the brand adds anything spicy.
I mean to be fair- i once put leftover lomein on a sandwich and ate that but like... There is no law saying you cant. And if you have something you know you will eat then putting it on bread to eat it makes it a sandwich regardless of anyone else's opinion.
Anyway good luck op! If there are other safe foods that they havent tried on a sandwich, see if you can find a way to use those things in a sandwich- theres a lot of substitutions you can make.
HI IMPORTANT QUESTION PLEASE ANSWER AND REBLOG
My child is working on expanding their safe foods and wants to try more sandwiches. The issue is there's so much potential with sandwiches that like, where do you start? So they're stuck on the same ones (cheese, cheese + cucumber, jam) (due to my own autism I am not much of a sandwich eater so I'm not much help)
We would love it if you could tell us your favourite sandwiches! No lettuce, mushroom, poultry, ham, bacon or non-cheddar cheese (or something adaptable if it includes those)
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#so its canon then that yosuke tends to forget to take of himself when he gets busy/stressed/etc then :)#yosuke's already a lanky ass like my guy stop making people worry about you!!!#also i like juxtaposing this against his group cafe date like of wanting to date someone he can look after because its both#bro you cant even take care of yourself#but also yosuke understanding himself enough that to be cared for is to be loved#anyway this is why you should always always have lunch with yosuke and feed him thanks for coming to my ted talk#OK BUT I also love that it's something that yu noticed about yosuke too because its so closely related to how he does. you know.#feed his friends food as a metaphor for love and all that and how yosuke hasnt had much attention (from him) lately#ok jk I'll stop being delulu but also really.#i feel a lot of Feelings about how yosuke and chie are the later members to awaken their 3rd tier#for meta reasons obviously it's also the fact that after maxing out yosuke's slink there arent as many opportunities to hang out#and there are so many good fics of that i slurp it all up#but for yosuke to point it out makes me so. SO.#anyway one final note is also yes i commented about how yosuke wasnt really doing a great job looking after himself but#i also think about his later comment that when people are relying on him it makes him want to do his best for others#and how he says he will always be there for his partner#and it makes me interpret all of that as yosuke being very roundabout in saying that he wants the two of them to look after each other#he's good with his queue
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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okay can I vent check hashtags
#so basically there’s this kid at my school spreading rumors that we are dating#Even tho we arent#I overheard him telling people he’s going to “break up” with me#And he’s getting really creepy like-#Following me to all my classes#And waiting for me outside them too#I told him many times to leave me alone and that I don’t like him#But he would just tell me that he doesn’t like me#Even tho I have like 20 people come up to me everyday telling me he likes me#Like one time he told me I fell asleep in my global class#BUT WE DONT EVEN HAVE GLOBAL TOGETHER SO HOW DOES HE KNOW#At this point I’m getting really creeped out like to the point I wanna switch my classes#but I don’t think I can bc we are to deep into the year#like he knows what I like on insta even tho I told him I feel uncomfortable#But I think I’m just going to block him on instagram and get my sit changed bc Im Fr done with him#But anyways if you read this far thank you so much😭😭 if you have any advice I’ll gladly take it
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honestly about to go through my villain arc. employers will go on and on about being inclusive of people with disabilities but still require standing for jobs that can be done sitting down, or a job description will say "walking" "on your feet" etc and not specify whether or not wheelchair usage counts for that by their standards. sometimes it feels like wheelchair users are expected to all be geniuses who can afford to go through years of college, as if to make up for our disabilities. it isnt fair and i just fucking want to survive in a world thats stacked against me and people like me
#ok to rb#i dont feel like tagging it though im just. screams into a pillow#sorry for not being professor x. sorry abled people for existing. are you happy#once again i am begging for the government to actually take care of people who arent cut out for helping ceos profit lol#i could do so much for the world if i could just stop worrying about my financial stability#but noooo that doesnt benefit the rich cunts in charge. ok.#genuinely at this point im largely staying alive out of spite#because i KNOW many people would rather ''useless'' people like me just go die#and it is painfully obvious#ableism cw
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I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.
for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.
when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.
equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?
I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?
I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!
BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS
(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)
#cant even say its only het shippers because lgbt shippers do it too#i enjoy the ships i see more as equals. like cynonari and xingyue for example#first ones that came to mine lol#everyone feminizes the shit out of nari calling him cynos wide constantly but they're both strong leader types with a soft side#wife*#THEYRE SO EQUAL???? AND THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO STRONG????#then xingyue is funny because ive seen people frame BOTH yingxing and dan feng as the “wife” at different times. proof theyre equals!#maybe not proof lmao but you cant say the arrogant craftsman and proud dragon arent equals who get along super well#they arent het opposites at all imo. not even close#i just really enjoy balanced equals over unbalanced opposites. because the feminine is always seen as lesser and weaker than the masculine#and that always bothers me a lot lmao#im probably the minority here. im giving benefit of the doubt that people just never thought about it and do what theyre taught#but if everyone actually orefers this and its on purpose.......please reconsider 🤣#prefers*#lee text#lee rambles#gay#lgbtq#gay ships#one relationship i felt was presented as equals (from best of my memory) was korrasami#they balance each other out and i see them as equals. one doesn't lead over the other. they're both leaders in their own ways. and carers#one reason i dont date is because most people are ovsessed with this unbalance opposite gender roles thing and i cant stand it lmao#obsessed* am tired of tag typos i miss until after i hit enter hfhfhdhdjdjsjs#this was long and rambly but i suddenly had many feelings and needed to say them#*
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the main reason i know im not femme in the slightest is bc i cant comprehend why anyone would Ever want to be feminine. i can understand neutral leaning fem, but the idea that people are born wanting to be feminine is appalling to me personally because femininity always felt like imprisonment and torture. it was and still is a restraint. a training weight i was forced to bear. i cant fully empathize or understand anyone who wants to be more feminine because i have never and will never want to be more feminine out of anything other than pressure or insecurity. im most comfortable being gender neutral, hairy and disgusting in old gym shorts and stained tshirts no matter how much insecurity it causes me. i dont care. im never dressing up all pretty for anyone elses benefit ever again. and i assume this is how people who want to be feminine feel about masculinity to some extent. if thats the case im super glad we could trade because holy moly
#op#doing sex work has also solidified this boundary for me btw#youd be surprised how many people love forcing specifically butch people into feminine clothes and get off on it#like specifically search for young or inexperienced butches and/or ftms#without actually explaining to them what they want to put them through in full detail beforehand or are very vague#but theyre holding money you dont have as an unemployed person over your head so its kind of hard to say no#these experiences have shown me dykebreaking style kinks are actually really popular even in queer communities#this brand of ppl just kind of do it then after the fact call it forcefem or detrans kink and call it a day without communicating beforehan#i think its really shit because now i have a bad taste in my mouth about that kind of stuff#but just bc i had bad experiences doesnt mean everyone will#thats like saying we shouldnt let people transition bc 1% of people detransition or something#i got manipulated by bad people and thats not anyones fault other than those peoples' for being awful people#so if youre wondering why i trigger tag forcefem jokes and stuff. that is why.#with how common it is id rather trigger tag it for someone whos far more sensitive about the subject than i and doesnt wanna see Any of it#i tried being feminine. hated it. 0/10. will never again unless i feel like it inexplicably some day.#the most feminine ill get is wearing bright colors and having shoulder length hair or wearing pink accents in my outfits i guess#or maybe when the thought of wearing them doesnt make me feel sick anymore ill wear pleated skirts again#all these unrelated tags to say#please communicate with your partners especially younger ones. just bc theyre over 18 doesnt mean they arent young and kid like.#brains dont stop developing until around mid 20s and if you as a 30-40 something year old arent communicating properly thats messed up#and just be careful out there#practice ethical/safe kink please and ty ily <3#qtag
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OKAY RANT ON VIVZIEPOP SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT CARE
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I like Viv as an artist, shes inspired me since frickin middleschool with her animations, character designs, and now 2 shows holy crap. I just really wish she'd get off social media for her own mental health cuz good god it's not great to see a whole thread of tweets arguing with someone about the dislike of fanfiction having homophobic undertones its just... agdhdh Viv is a pretty controversial person due to unfortunate past events and having shows that present some darker subject matter. Honestly? I want to see Viv not just move past the previous controversy, but learn from it to be better. Its totally fair tho if you think the handling of certain topics arent done well, there are things people will have preference over. And I dont give a fuck about shipping, I dont wanna see it, frankly. If you're doin somethin shady with it and I see it I'm certainly not going to like it and I'll do my best to not interact with you, but I think we should make tagging things just a common thing? Keeps things organized and people can intake what they want while the stuff they dont want is not being shown to them. Same goes with headcanons they're someone imagining something, they arent holding the creators hostage to make it canon. Canon is silly anyways! Both the OG and a headcanon can exist because AUs and headcanons are just another version of the thing. Headcanons arent going to change the episodes, they'll still be the same way the creators made it. So like... chill.
Just as long as it has no mental or physical negative implications or intent against actual living people I will add.
Dont harrass actors because they play a villian you need to separate fiction and reality it's literally their job to pretend to be someone else.
#vivziepop#vivzipop critical#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#it sucks to see someone i looked up to seemingly keep stirring the controversy pot#the shows arent for everyone#things arent always going to be appealing to everyone and thats ok#i think viv needs to let go the fact some people do not like her or her shows instead of fighting people for a whole thread#im embarrassed to say im a fan of these shows???#and dont get me wrong i think they kinda suck sometimes and the writing inconsistancy makes me so so frustrated#but there are a few moments where i really feel connected to their struggles#loneliness and a fear of rejection are something i empathize with a lot#im frustrated because of what these shows COULD be#and how happy it makes me to see these shows be enjoyed so much because tbh everything about it is full of things we are told#is bad and weird and cringe and something real proffesionals would never respect#and they made it! it lets me know if im passionate enough people like me can do what we love and still be successful#i hope for many other passion projects from artists in the future who may be inspired by not just Vivzie but the tons of indie stuff out rn#crowmancerx#idk just a rant#i do want to lay out at some point my many issues with the writing of Vivz's shows but ill holdoff on big rants for a bit#agsudvdhdb#its been a rough day at school
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i have and still do think its extremely weird how many people have an immediate negative gut reaction to fur and to hunting in general, especially occurring even more negatively the less they know about it. like.
even just disregarding the fact that an animal being hunted is one of the most sustainable things available to most people nowadays, with the animal being killed as fast as possible in a way that utilizes as much of their body as possible, in a way that produces very little waste, when basically every hunter i know are some of the most ecologically conscientious and green-minded people you can find — the fur and leather and bone itself is one of the few things you can actually feel Connected to anymore.
like i look at the other stuff they promote and so many "green products" and i still can't tell where they're from or how they were produced or even entirely what went into making them. none of my furs are like that. i often talked to the person who hunted and skinned and tanned the hide, who sewed the hat or the bag or the coat, i can identify and pick out the exact animal who gave its life for it and know them very intimately, and for an incredibly long amount of time, long enough that most of what i have was passed down to me from my family. like these are the opposites of fast fashion in every respect, im usually excited to be able to break out my otter or raccoon hat when winter comes around, i come back to my buffalo bags over and over.
i'm often very uncomfortable when they're described as "luxury items" as well for that reason - they're often just priced accordingly to the time and effort that goes into them and will last just as long as the price tag implies. animal fur and leather are the very first materials humans had available to them. it's not any different than going to a craft show and buying a knitted hat from a grandma for me, except that i know the full history of how all that material was acquired in the first place and that it won't be sat aside or forgotten under anything else. it's very hard, even when you just have one fur hat, to not make the full use out of it, that you want to and it occupies a position of respect. hell, fur isn't even "in" for rich people anymore, it's increasingly gone out of fashion for them and has shown up less and less over time.
i don't know. it's very weird to see everyone has a weird gut reaction to seeing fur or discussing hunting, in a way that has never correlated to anything i've actually experienced.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#its like. idk. is a good shovel a luxury item?#sure the poorest people wont be able to afford it and will be forced to buy shittier shovels#but certainly its not the rich people buying shovels#and you wouldnt call someone who has a good shovel that has served them very well for a long time. a rich person.#also like. yeah. in certain poor communities it IS very common to have fur and leather#because hunting is necessary for people to eat. you are too poor to buy from the grocery store.#and then the products of that get passed down because they Keep and Keep Well#but even moreso the psychological experience of having fur is different#in a way thats harder to explain to someone who doesnt have that experience#you just. dont let it go to waste.#you feel much more beholden to it and to treat it well#and to use it and not let it go to waste#in a way that you dont get with the mass produced shit they act like is neutral#i think if i had to be philosophical about it id tie it into individualism#that if you get something mass produced then you arent beholden to it and dont feel responsible to it#it means whatever and it cant force you to do anything so you end up as the defining factor#its easier to pretend it has no one elses fingerprints on it#but this is impossible with fur. you look at it and youll always be reminded a life was given for it#and immense effort had to be given to turn that life into something for you#and you are beholden to that. you are connected to it. you cannot pretend that youre separate.#and i like that. it freaks me out to think of how many things i have that i dont fully know where they came from or who made them#in a sense greater than what a tag says it came from or what company made it#it was a singular animal. it was a specific person. you can talk to them. you know them. you can see it.
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people who are extremely emotionally repressed and incapable of expressing their feelings are most of the time only capable of feeling and expressing anger, irritation and bitterness. and they HATE seeing people who openly express all of their feelings and emotions, and are emotionally intelligent enough to understand the complexity of emotions. they absolutely hate them and it evokes such irritation and anger within them, because even if they dont understand it themselves, they are envious of ppl who dont take emotions so seriously or see it is being weak.
#i think a lot of times people get angry with me for openly being able to express my thoughts and feelings#they dont understand that when i vent about something it allows me to release the pain and severity of it a little bit#while they walk around holding that anger that turns into poison and hurts them everyday#somehow it is my fault for not being ashamed and feeling like i have to hide my#thought and feelings deep inside#the way they do.#and that for me feelings and thoughts arent written in stone#it doesnt scare me to face my dark and unsavory thoughts#they arent all i am#but somehow they get angry seeing someone dare to express everything#but its totally ok for them to fixate their anger on a total stranger that doesnt even care to take their existence into consideration while#expressing their feelings and thoughts ie they arent even abt them#idk i just cannot for the life of my understand that mindset#if you see someone vent about their experiences and thoughts and feelings#and get so angry you feel like punishing them or harrassing them#there is like something deeply wrong with u emotionally#it is just so frustrating to have to be bothered by those ppl so often#because i will NEVER shut up#i will never cower. i believe in total freedom of expressing things#even if i have to be burdened and bothered by stupid ppl trying to sew my lips shut and cut my tongue out i'll never stop#it isnt my responsibility that they cannot cope with someone just saying shit#it's just sad that this will def ensure that i'll keep have my accounts shut down on any platform 🙃#bc we dont live in a society where freedom of speech is a thing#and it will also make me very very very lonely bc not many ppl can handle someone who speaks openly#(plus im not a degenerate which many loud ppl are so i cant fit it w thm sadly)#but i've trid to keep it all inside and nod and smile but that just makes me....#have very very many homooo... ;))) cidal thoughts haha#cant live like that i'll explode#at least im glad i have my mom tbh#like very glad. she understands almost everything i say. im more extreme than her but she gets many things i say that others wouldnt
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Nothing like lying in bed sick w a bad cold and having gender thoughts 😂😭
#kdkdkdkd oversharing about my experience:#i'm like if a girl was a girl and a lesbian but like. you know all those 'oh no women are too much like men nowadays' fearmongering articles#i think it's a social + sexual/romantic roles thing.... like i wish there was flexibility with that 😅#i'm aware its an actual school of thought like oh gender roles arent real. but the problem is. nowadays so many people's feminism seems to#be emphasising that 'traditional female roles' are empowering and theres nothing wrong with liking them 😭 over and over#and i just don't relate to that and never will !! plus all my life i've gotten a kick out of like. taking on a diff role w other girls#not only like in a [redacted] way but like. random small things lol#it's all really difficult to articulate because of a twin problem: 1) i have a decently conforming physical presentation that i'm ok with#like i'm not butch lol. idk maybe this all is 'i'm not butch but i believe in their beliefs'#2. i feel like with some specific fem4fem lesbians there is heavy emphasis on femininity without wiggle room#so its like. i look and act like a girl but sometimes you have to pretend i'm crown prince rudolf if you want me to be happy JDJDKD 💀😂#sorry i cant believe he's in this post. so embarrassing#anyway i need to write my lesbian rudolf x stephanie fic some day i think it would be great
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i feel weird even claiming my family used to be considered "rich" bc a lot of yall immediately jump to having summer homes, 20 yachts, and enough money to save a country
#not gonna act like we weren't well off... ofc we were but like.... we werent on THAT level nearly at all#more of a country club... goes on a lot of vacations.... has a decently sized house with a pool... kinda rich#which is still rich dont get me wrong but i promise i wasnt living like fucking. kim kardashian or whatever ok#we didnt have a fuckin walk-in-fridge or 20 unused empty rooms#i say this bc ppl end up surprised when i tell them im not anymore like 'how' well its a lot of things like the housing market crash#my parents getting a divorce my dad being the one with the job that my moms dad gave to him that was making him all the money#and my grandpa passed not long after i was born so when they split up we were just going off of whatever he left really for a while#had to move etc etc.... now im low income and rely on food stamps and ssi ✌️ but thats mostly bc im disabled so#kinda necessarily low income bc the govt only wants to pay the very bare minimum that they can.#its also- not my money! i dont get to decide what happens to it and i dont get to decide i get nice things or whatever. that all hinges#on if my mom or gma wants to.#so technically even if you wanted to consider them rich still- its not part of me atp bc its not even my money and im an adult#whos not legally dependent on them anymore. i think it only counts if its *your* actual money or if your parent is okay with dishing#out like a 1000 dollars a month like its nothing. completely unfazed by giving it to you.#its not rich if its conditional ok like... children of rich parents arent rich and i will die on this hill. why do you think so many of the#end up fucked up? not only is it bc they've had ppl basically doing everything for them their whole life so they dont know how to take#care of themselves they're also entirely dependent on the parent for money. when you feel controlled like that- even if your parent isnt#necessarily abusive about it- just the fact everything you do hinges on the approval of your parent- kinda fucks you up and makes#you feel like you're stuck being a forever child. not great for people who probably want to go out in the world and date to feel#like you cant escape being dependent on your parents
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