#i feel like people often talk about how reading other peoples' writing gives them inspiration and makes them more creative

[veliseraptor]

the other really annoying thing about this long, long lull in my ability to write things is that now it has started to become a thing where i can't read other peoples' fanfiction because it just kicks up a whole lot of envy and frustration. which is not a good feeling to experience to begin with and is possibly a worse feeling to experience on the meta level where i get upset at myself about feeling it.

i just want to read all the good fanfiction sitting open in tags without the twin demons of insecurity and envy gnawing on my brain

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When They Accidentally Bring Up an Insecurity| Jisung

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You had always admired Han's loving spirit and his ability to find inspiration in the smallest things. He brought light into your life in ways you never thought possible. And he helped you see the world in a way most didn't. You loved that you had that in common with Han- an appreciation for things that breathed life into your creative works.

You had never been very good at drawing. Or writing. Or anything having to do with the fine arts. Rather your creativity came more in a problem solving way. But in order to connect with Jisung, you decided to take up sketching to connect with Han a little more, because you loved him.

But that just created a deep-rooted insecurity about your creative abilities. Surrounded by so many talented people - as you were around the kids -you often felt your own contributions paled in comparison, and it was a fear you kept to yourself.

One evening, Han was over at your place, working on some new lyrics while you attempted to write poetry. He was sprawled on the couch, notebook in hand, humming a melody under his breath. You sat at your desk, scribbling down words and then erasing them feeling increasingly frustrated with your lack of progress.

You had long given up drawing, and you thought it might be easier to write a poem, since it was words that described your feelings. You could easily write a poem about something you knew well right? It couldn't be that hard.

You scratched your head as you tried to think of rhymes.

"How's it going over there?" Han asked, glancing up from his notebook.

"Not great," you mumbled, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

Han chuckled, not noticing your tone. "I figured."

His casual comment felt like a sting, a reminder of your perceived inadequacies. You forced a smile and nodded, but inside, you felt your confidence crumbling.

He got up and walked over to you, picking up your paper in his hands. He chuckled. "Poetry now huh?"

You felt your cheeks burn and tried to take it from him. "No-"

"No jagiya I want to read it." He said holding it above your head and reading it. "You make me laugh when I am sad, Your jokes are the best I've ever had. When you smile, my heart feels light, You make everything so bright." Han giggled again. "It's like one of those poems we had to write in elementary school."

That made your cheeks burn even more. "Jisung give it back-"

"Your hugs are warm, your eyes so kind, With you, I leave my worries behind. You're my sunshine, my best friend, With you, I hope the good times never end." He gives you a cute pouty face in a teasing manner. "Awww Y/N... it's such a cute little poem. It's like a little nursery rhyme."

"Jisung stop!" You called out again, feeling your eyes burn as you put your fists to your eyes, the embarrassment you had taking over.

"I know my poem's not that great, But loving you is my favorite fate. Thank you Jisung..." His smile fell and he swallowed. "Thank you...Jisung for...for being you. My love for you is always true." He looked up and seemed to realize what he was teasing you about and his lip trembled. "Y/N-"

"I want to be alone." You mumbled through your tears. Jisung wanted to reach out, but he knew he had hurt your feelings, but knowing you he also knew you needed space.

The next few days were a blur of self-doubt and creative blocks. You avoided drawing and writing, and found excuses to stay busy with other tasks. Han noticed your change in behavior and even if you guys had talked a couple hours after the incident, he still didn't think his apology was enough.

One afternoon, while you were both working on a puzzle together, Han brought up the subject again. "Hey, you know I'm really really sorry right?"

You nodded. "I know. I'm not mad anymore, Jisung."

Han frowned. "But you haven't been writing at all. Or drawing...I feel like it's my fault. No...I know it's my fault. I'm sorry I made fun of your poem- I loved it. I really did. It's the sweetest thing anyone has ever written me..."

You felt a pang in your chest, wishing you could believe him. "Thanks, but sometimes it feels like I'm just not good enough."

Han looked taken aback. "What do you mean? You're incredibly talented."

You sighed, finally letting out a bit of your frustration. "It's just… I see how talented everyone else is, including you, and I can't help but feel like my work doesn't measure up."

Han's expression softened, and he reached out to squeeze your hand. "You're amazing in your own right, and comparing yourself to others isn't fair to you. I wouldn't ever want you to compare yourself to me. That's like comparing a doctor to an actor. Both are genius in their own right, but do you expect an actor to be able to perform surgery like a doctor? Or the doctor to recite the entire second act of Hamlet? You have your talents that I could never even begin to measure up to, Y/N. Its the same with everyone who walks this planet..."

His words were kind, but they didn't fully reach the core of your insecurity. You forced a smile and nodded, hoping the conversation would end there.

A week later, Han invited himself over to your house, hoping to put an end to both of your guy's misery. You hated feeling like you had to walk on eggshells around him, and he hated thinking he was making you uncomfortable.

You guys ate dinner and started watching a drama. After the fourth episode Han pressed the pause button.

"Baby...can I show you something?"

You nodded, slightly confused as to why Jisung would pause your binge.

He grabbed his laptop from his bag and came back towards you, placing his headphones on your head.

He unlocked his laptop, clicked a few buttons and a soft melody filled your ears. Your eyes widened.

"Did you guys wrtie a new song?" You asked excitedly, but Jisung shushed you gently and motioned for you to listen.

You closed your eyes and let yourself go, embracing the music fully.

You felt your heart almost stop when you heard the words of your poem masterfully intricated into the song.

"Why did you show me that?" you asked, your voice trembling. You didn't dare open your eyes, or you were sure the tears you had would fall.

Han sounded puzzled. "Because it's great and I wanted to share it."

"But it's not great," you snapped, tears falling from your eyes as you opened them. "People will know you just used those words. You're so much more well versed and-"

Han stopped in his tracks, realization dawning on him. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just wanted to show them how talented you are.” You shook your head.

"Ouch, Y/N..." Jisung chuckled, his voice breaking a little. You looked at Han, whose chubby cheeks were encompassed by his pout. His boba eyes sad.

"No- No baby I meant... I feel like my words are stupid. Not your voice. Your song was absolutely beautiful... I just feel like I made you waste such a good backtrack."

You wiped away a tear, feeling exposed and vulnerable. "It's not your fault. It's just… I can't help but feel like I'll never be as good as everyone else. And I feel like you did that to make me feel better..."

Han pulled you into a tight hug, his voice gentle and soothing. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You're incredibly talented and creative, and your art is a reflection of who you are. It's unique and beautiful, just like you."

You clung to him, the sincerity in his words slowly breaking through your walls. "I just want to feel like I'm enough," you whispered.

Han held you at arm's length, looking into your eyes. "You are more than enough. Your worth isn't defined by how perfect your art or writing is or how you compare to others. It's about the passion and love you put into what you do."

His words resonated with you, and you felt a sense of comfort and reassurance. Han's unwavering support and belief in you made a difference, and you realized that your insecurities didn't define you.

"And I didn't make that song to make you feel better...I made it so you could see just how much inspiration I find from you. Y/N I love you more than anything. So, I was over the moon when I wrote this. And even more elated when I got to use the words the love of my life wrote. That's only the demo..." He grins sheepishly. "I was thinking...it would sound cool if you could leave that poem as a voicemail. I could make it the outro of the song..."

You looked at him with wide eyes. "You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it baby. I mean... I know Stay speculates I'm in a relationship...it's been a year now so I feel like this would be a fun way of confirming that. And I want the world to hear the beautiful voice of my baby." He coos, squishing your cheeks.

You giggle and nod, as Han peppers kisses all over your face.

One evening, as you both sat on the couch, Han handed you a sketchbook he had bought for you. "I got this for you. I want you to fill it with whatever makes you happy. No pressure, just pure creativity. It doesn't even have to be art. Maybe you could write me more poems..."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "Thank you, Ji. For everything."

Han wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close. "I'm always here for you. And for inspiration. Because you're my inspiration." He says nuzzling his nose against yours.

You leaned into him, feeling a sense of peace and contentment.

His inspiration. You thought.

What an amazing thing to be...

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

A Guide to Mastery: Finding Your Life's Work

Mastery is what we hope to attain. We hope to get a point where we become master of our fields, experts of our work, and mentors to younger people. But the big question we ask ourselves is "what should I do?" "what can I do?" "what is my purpose in life?" and that is a very big question that we might spend our entire lives trying to figure out.

It is difficult now, especially when we hear people talk about their careers, we see updates on people's career changes on LinkedIn and everyone is vying for a job in big tech, big law, consulting, Wall Street and you feel left out, not good enough, in fact discouraged.

However, you can find fulfillment by taking this self-discovery one step at a time, at a pace that best suits your skills, and still rise to the top.

Here is how to find your Life's work:

Look back to your childhood

Often to figure out what you want to do or who you want to become you have to look back to your past, your childhood. What made you tick? What classes were most fun for you? Who did you enjoy watching or spending time with growing up? The answers can give you a peek into the kind of life you want. Growing up I enjoyed reading biographies of people. I was obsessed with how they became successful and how they set themselves apart - now my writing mirrors that.

2. Find your niche

The uncertainty or discomfort you feel could be caused by not fitting into one field. You feel like you can do a lot more than there is out there. This is a great feeling. if you feel this way do not be discouraged. It is your life's journey to figure out the intersection of your interest. It is a sign that you should try out multiple things. Your career may become an amalgamation of your interest, ideas, disciplines, and fields. Here are some intersections that I found in people I admire:

Design + Technology - Steve Jobs- Apple Co-founder, Brian Chesky - Airbnb Co-founder

Food + Technology - Apoorva Mehta; co-founder Instacart

Culture + Commerce - Most architects, designers fit this category

Science + Art - Trip Hawkins; founder of Electronic Arts

Community + technology - Whitney Wolfe Herd; Founder of Bumble

Food + business: Kaspar Basse; founder of Joe & The Juice

Sportsmanship + design - Phil Knight; co-founder of Nike

Environmentalism + Sportsmanship - Yvon Chouinard; founder of Patagonia

These people are at the top of their fields. You can start by having a double major, or minoring in a totally different field (Art + Finance, Biology + Sports management etc)

3. Resist the pressure of the majority

There is always a group of people on the other side of your interest and skills - parents, friends, professors, peers who want something different from what you aspire to. You love art but they remind you that the pay is meagre, you want be a lawyer but they tell you, you are not good enough for law. You see, the salary you get paid for doing something you love should not stop you from getting started. You will eventually become so good that the value you provide will eventually command a huge compensation but for now bend down and learn.

4. Find a mentor

Once you get a glimpse of what you feel like you want to do. Find a mentor, your mentor could be distant or imminent. A distant mentor could be a renowned expert, a person you stumble upon through a book, an interview etc. Their story inspires you and you somehow you feel seen, you goals aren't so impossible anymore. The imminent mentors are the people you meet through school, work and whose work has some skills you need to learn for your Life's work. Your relationship with them or experience with them is the closest to reality of your Life's Work. Learn as much as you can in this process.

Welcome to my A Guide to Mastery series inspired by the book Mastery.

[honey-crypt]

can you do some headcanon drabbles thingies with a farmer that has BPD? Bachelors please

a/n: yippee i get to write about bpd!!! fun fact but i was diagnosed with it for about two years (it ended up being a misdiagnosis) and i did a ted talk (like a legit one lol) about it and the criminalization/demonization of personality and other "undesirable" disorders :3 thx for this request and enjoy!

warning: discussion of bpd splitting, mental health crisis, and self-harm

★ sdv bachelors with bpd!farmer ★

alex

★ seeing you split for the first time is the catalyst for him to address his own issues, such as dealing with his father's abuse; to an extent, he can see himself in you, longing for approval and love from others, only to fall apart when others don't provide that

★ a very good listener, he opens his ears and mind to you to talk about what's on your mind and you do the same for him; it's very helpful and therapeutic for the both of you

★ does his best to keep you away from george, he worries that his grandfather's behavior would trigger an episode in you but he couldn't keep you away from him forever; it does cause an episode but with evelyn's help, alex manages to get george on his best behavior around you

elliott

★ often writes you letters of reassurance and love for you to read whenever you're having an episode, it's his way of supporting you through your hard times

★ he attends workshops to learn methods to assist you with bpd episodes and symptoms after harvey recommended it to him when he confided in him about his concern for your wellbeing

★ adds a small piece of candy, such as a starburst or skittle, in your pill box so you have a little reward/pick-me-up when you take your medication

harvey

★ out of all the bachelors, he's the best equipped to support you during your episodes (he did a psych rotation during his residency) but he tries his best not to go doctor mode on you

★ covers your farmhouse with sticky notes that feature medication reminders, words of affirmation, and so on; you save each and every one of them in a little scrapbook that you look back on for reassurance

★ harvey makes you feel safe, you're truly able to trust him and confide in him; you both make it work and even though others are critical of your relationship, either of you really give a damn because you love one another

sam

★ he's familiar with mental health conditions because of his father's ptsd and in the beginning of your romantic relationship, he kinda isolates himself from you when you're splitting because he genuinely doesn't know how to help

★ but thankfully, he learns how to support you with harvey's education on bpd, such as grounding you with music or encouraging you to socialize with others

★ he enjoys writing and playing you songs as a means of grounding, you're his inspiration and he wants to brighten your world with the power of music

sebastian

★ he goes into research mode after you inform him that you have bpd, he knows that personality disorders are heavily stigmatized and he doesn't want you to feel like he thinks you're a bad person for having bpd

★ does dbt (dialectical behavioral therapy) homework with you when you come home from group (group therapy); it helps him just as much as it helps you, he learns a lot of coping techniques that he utilizes when he has to deal with hardships or shitty people like demetrius

★ gets you an enamel pin for every month you remain clear from self-harm, you have an ita bag that you secure every pin on and it's one of your most treasured possessions

shane

★ a match made in hell... JK JK you two have the potential to bring out the best or worst in one another, depending on your relationship and whether or not you both are in therapy

★ if you're friends, you're able to support one another through bpd or depressive episodes, you both are different sides of a very similar coin and your empathy for one another transcends the boundaries of your typical friendship

★ but if you're dating or married?? i'm sorry but it's not gonna work out well unless both of you are consistent with your meds and therapy; you often get paranoid about your relationship with shane and it only intensifies during his 14 heart event where you and marnie think he relapsed with his drinking, causing you to split... luckily, it works out in the end but you still struggle with coping and trusting shane

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Not a lot of variety in Hazbin Hotel

Another thing I dislike about Hazbin Hotel is the genuine lack of diversity.

With a setting like Hell you have the amazing opportunity to have characters from so many different time periods interact. With different fashion, different skills, different believes or upbringings it's incredibly easy to make characters that stand apart from eachother and create conflict (atleast it should be).

But with Vivzepops disinterest in making characters that even slightly stray away from the specific way she likes to write them, a lot of them end up blending together in how they act/look. Hazbin Hotel has this pretended diversity, where it seems like the cast should vary because on the surface they are very different, but in the show they blend together. This is because Vivzepop throws around different jobs, sexualities, nationalities, goals and inspirations for her characters, but never puts in the work to make them feel like it.

Sir Pentious, Alastor and Vox are all from different times, with different occupations. Sir Pentious was an inventor in the 1880s, Alastor was a radio host from the 1930s and Vox was a TV show host from 1950 (that's the era they died in). Yet they all wear very similar suits, just colour shifted. They all have shoulder pads, the same lapels, stripes and bowties. Alastor and Vox even wear the same pants and have the same shoes (atleast in shape).

Not to mention that in almost all of the designs there's that obnoxious red colour (especially with the red-black-white combination she just loves to put on her creations).

Even characters like Vox who seem like they have different colours (for him a mostly blue colour sceme) still have red accents and only very few characters are allowed designs without any red. Which is not that great since the background is also mostly red and it just hurts to look at sometimes.

Theres also all of the "typical" Vivzepop desing traits. Mostly sharp shapes and features, very slim bodies, sharp teeth, tophats, suits etc. A lot of her characters already blend together even though it doesnt make sense for them to. Would an inventor from the 1880s really dress the same as a TV show host from the 1950s?

Here I should mention that I don't mean blend together as in being completely indistinguishable from eachother but rather having too many similarities that it doesn't make sense for them to have.

As far as personality goes I do have to say that the characters are different enough in their basic chatacterizations. Vaggie especially was mostly refreshing because she acted as a voice of reason sort of and Charlie with her often naive (but very childish) attitude also stood out. But the devil is usually in the details.

I've heard people complain countless times about how pretty much the only continuous joke the show has is a character cursing, insulting others or making a sex joke. I get that cynical characters are sort of the appeal of HH but there's also just a lack of variety there for me. This is probably just a small nitpick here and something that is already done sometimes in the show, but there are different ways a person can be insulting and mean.

Like, for Husk it makes sense to be so up-front with being rude. He's a bartender and dealing with drunk people often requires being very clear and assertive.

But why does Angel never get to do anything else then directly talking about being sexy and making fun of others in such an obvious way. I think they wanted to give the appeal of him reading someone like a drag queen would but he just makes the same observations again and again and not in really clever ways (from what I remember!).

Alastor and Vox could've also been used better in the sense that atleast from what I know people in the entertainment industry (especially ones who do interviews or that stuff) won't directly tell someone that they don't like them. It's much more common for them to bring it up in small ways, like asking a question tied to an embarrassing topic to force the person into having to talk about that stuff.

Like I said this isn't really all too important though. What makes me more annoyed is the lack of diversity when it comes to the villains and how they're treated.

To me Viv has an issue with trying for every villain to play a more goofy role even though it doesn't always fit. Of course you can have "stupid" or silly and mostly funny villains but that shouldn't be every single one. When there are multiple villains in a show what makes them interesting is often how they differ from the others in their attitude and motivation and in HH we just don't really get that.

Sir pentious is never taken seriously as a threat and is mostly treated as incompetend, (I know he gets out of being the villain rather quick but even before that) Adam is just constantly portrayed as a dumb and irrational until we are supposed to take him seriously in the end. Vox doesn't do anything in the show apart from be kinda antagonistic towards Alastor and outside of that he is mainly also presented as being a fun villain rather than an intimidating one (very prominently in the song he has with Alastor where Alastor just completely bashes him at the end). Velvette also has nothing to do. Lucifer isn't treated as an antagonist (even though he should be in my opinion) and is shown to be just a "goofy and silly little guy" ig.

And apart from Valentino's genuinely terrifing scene he has with Angel Dust in episode four, he too is shown to be whiny, obnoxious and mostly dumb in his other scenes (this isn't helped by Viv pushing the idea that the Vee's are just like fun little saturday morning cartoon villains outside of the show). I guess Alastor is different in that regard kinda.

This plus the fact that outside of the characters who are obviously villains no one is allowed to be even slightly critical of Charlies idea without being presented as totally irrational, makes for no variety when it comes to the opposition in Hazbin Hotel. It's just kinda dissapointing to me that a show with this opportunity to create different characters gets stuck in the same conflicts and ideas over and over again.

[touchlikethesun]

i’ve been thinking about haikyuu name meanings again, so i thought i’d share two of the name meanings that make me smile a lot :)))

木　boku - tree 兎　to - rabbit (?) 光　kou - shining, glory, pride 太郎　tarou - “great” son or first son 赤　aka - red, communism (??) 葦　ashi - reed (?) 京　kei - ten quadrillion; other readings (kyou, tokyo), capital city 治　ji - govern, regulate

so i’ve purposefully kept the direct kanji meanings, even tho most of them are simple and/or non sensical when applied to bokuto and akaashi’s character. but i've done so to replicate my own confusion and (hopefully) eventual satisfaction when i’d worked tho the many layers of word play.

so the first character of bokuto’s name 木 (tree) i originally thought was supposed to tie him to owls, yknow bc owls are often sitting in trees, and that might be part of it, but when 木 is used in adjectival constructions (so instead of ‘tree’ it might mean more ‘wooden’) and applied to people it often carries pejorative connotations of stupidity, close to the english ‘blockheaded’ - which i have to admit. did make me chuckle. (note: i thought there might be some connection between boku and boke the insult kags is always launching at hinata but they seem to be unrelated go figure)

兎 (to) was another confusing one, since ordinarily 兎 is the character for usagi (rabit), but when read as to there didn't seem to be any real mean associated with it, which is funny because most of the names in hq!! have more thought put into them then that. i was just about to write it off, when i looked up the two kanji together on wiktionary and-

木兎　mimizuko - alt. spelling for eagle/horned owl

see above: eagle owl and bokuto koutarou for comparaison.

so basically in bokuto's name there is both a pun calling him a bit thick and a pun with the type of owl that inspired him how fucking incredible is that??? i personally love it

光太郎 (koutarou) seems to be a bit more of a traditional name, and we also have a very clear in-universe explanation for it's meaning. bokuto is the youngest of three with two older sisters, and it seems mr and mrs bokuto were very proud to finally have a son (ehhh patriarchy sucks sorry it is what it is) and wanted to give him a name that reflected their feelings. however, i do also think that 光 can also be taken to represent bokuto's presence in the series as a whole.

the first meaning of 光 being 'shining' obviously makes me think of the most bokuaka line in all of canon "we are the stars of the world" (ik some translations use protagonists in place of stars but shhh i'm being symbolic plus the vers i read used "stars"), because bokuto is such a star, he shines so brightly, and motivates so many people (the least of whom being akaashi and the rest of fukurodani). bokuto was always destined for glory and stardom in volleyball, but i think he's also just. so bright of a person. like yes, ofc he has his moods and his caprices, but that doesn't change how much he just, well, shines, brightens up a room. i don't know how much of this was intentional or accidental, but i like it.

~

like with bokuto's name, i ran into a bit of trouble with 赤葦 (akaashi) at first. literally, it means red reed, which didn't really seem significant. although 赤 (aka) also means 'red' as in 'communist' so now even tho it is certainly not at all the intended meaning i now and forever will headcanon akaashi as being a communist or someone at the very least well versed in communist theory. however, like with bokuto, akaashi's name is actually a reference to アカアシフクロウ (akaashi-fukuro) or アカアシモリフクロウ (akaashi-mori-fukuro), so another type of owl

i've already talked about what i find so amusing about 京治 (keiji) in this post, but to summarise here (actually maybe this counts as an expansion?), the most relevant part to akaashi's character is the second kanji 治, meaning to govern or to regulate. 治 is sometimes used on it's own, but it is also often used in compounds related to peace, healing, (and politics, my commie akaashi headcanon wins again hahaha).

i think akaashi's character evolves from what it was intended to be, and i'm not sure how accurate this meaning is by the time we reach the end of canon (or maybe i've just been reading to much bokuaka fic and it's skewing my perception of him), but akaashi started out a bit like bokuto's external emotional regulator. for someone with as insane mood swings as bokuto, mood swings that other people struggled to understand and react to, he must have had quite a hard time, and indeed we're shown that his difficulties managing his emotions seriously and negatively affects his performance on the court. enter akaashi. akaashi, who through careful observation, quickly learns to not just react to bokuto's mood swings, but to understand them, their causes, and even eventually to anticipate them, effectively giving bokuto the tools he needs to learn to control his emotions and continue giving his all like akaashi knows he can.

i think it's relevant that 治 is also used to talk about healing and peace, (and not just governing which has rather unfortunate implications of control and coercion that i don't particularly like) because that is what akaashi's presence in bokuto's life ultimately provides, as evidenced by bokuto's growth by the end of the series ("hey look guys i'm just a normal ace!" meaning he's learned to manage his emotions by himself, something that i think would have been a much longer and harder journey without akaashi's influence).

when i said i'm not sure how accurate 治 is when applied to akaashi's character by the end of the series, i mean that i think it downplays the reciprocal nature of bokuto and akaashi's relationship, because for as much as akaashi helps bokuto manage his mood swings, bokuto also provides a lot of emotional support and motivation to akaashi. and i'm not sure this was something that furudate had already taken into account when first coming up with these characters.

i think there might be smaller symbolic meaning relating to akaashi's position as a setter, but that's really only a minor detail i think...

anyways, there you have it! bokuaka kanji meanings and thoughts!! do let me know if you have different interpretations, or if i've missed something, i really really reallyyyyy like talking about things like this but for now brb i am going to go read like a dozen bokuaka oneshots xx

[windmaedchen-oceanhorn]

The badge of the Heroic Order. They are personalized. Valen carries his on the left shoulder, underneath his fur cloak.

Valen - Headcanons .............................................................

I like the apparently ditched background info for Valen (see this post again), but in case you don't know it, here's a short summary:

Valen's born into the ruling family of Stoutstone Isle but has never taken interest in that heritage, often running away to explore the surroundings and mingling with the common folk and soldiers, joining them at their campfires to dream about stories of heroism, all for the girls. xD He kept his true identity hidden but it was revealed when he wanted to formally join the army (navy, in this case) at age 16. The soldiers now treated him differently, particularly as he was given a fake superior title. In anger he demands to go through the training properly, but his grandfather (and ruler) denies equally angrily. So Valen throws out his rank and walks off, leaving the island behind. He continues as a mercenary, traveling all over the Empire, until ... (my headcanon starts here) ... being dragged into the Heroic Order by Hogan. Since then he's a member of the Heroic Order and Solitaries, living in Holistone.

I am placing this isle in the rough region of north/west Great Britain. Same weather, same grey tones everywhere, same accents… xD I don't think of his family or home as a pretty castle full of glitter and pomp. It is just as gritty and dirty as the rest of the island, dark rugs on the walls and all wealth hidden behind thick grey stone walls, stashed away inside trunks. It's probably VERY far from Holistone, being on the other side of the Lightbearer Empire.

His dad is some low-level admin under his grandfather's rule. He might never rise to the throne, though, giving way to others to administrate the island until Fay's take-over.

When he was 8 years old, Valen's mother died shortly after giving birth to Fay. She [Valen's mother] always encouraged his son to explore the world with his own eyes, instilling in him the belief that actions speak louder than words or ranks or titles. He then begins to "run away" regularly from home to seek out the truth outside the castle walls.

Valen never went to a school (properly). He had private lessons, of which he sat through enough to know the basics. Most knowledge is self-taught, by reading or talking to people. This means he can have entertaining bouts of ignorance! xD

When there is something he's interested in, he takes the time to educate himself. He is reading educational books but is not at all into fiction. He does read poetry for inspiration on how to charm the girls (in exchange for intel, of course).

He most certainly does appreciate beauty whenever he sees it. Be it a beautiful appearance, a wonderful character, a moving situation, a good piece of music, a stunning picture… but as a man of (charming) words, most of all, a skilful application of words strung together poetically.

He strangely feels inclined to write experiences and emotions down poetically. Hence his admiration for those who can and his understanding for those who cannot but try. Since his penmanship is not of importance to him, and the ladies usually don't need anything very complex to cooperate, he isn't excellent but also not bad. He's right at this place where one wants to try badly, but is too aware of one's weaknesses, so that nothing would ever be sufficiently good enough to match the need.

Valen is stupidly confident and nonchalant about it, which bothers his colleagues sometimes often. It's hard to describe, but it's just this little sting of jealousy, if you perceive someone else to succeed so seemingly easy, as if it was no big deal. It appears as if Valen doesn't value the effort to get there or has no appreciation for the potential risk involved, and that can be off-putting for others. Firstly, that is, of course, not true and it is always their own insecurities at play and not Valen's fault. And secondly, this doesn't mean Valen's free of doubts or insecurities himself. ;-)

............................................

Valen isn't interested in the conflict with other factions. He's not the guy to "rescue the world". But he IS the guy to rescue "HIS world". He is concerned with the well-being of those in his immediate surroundings because that's all that matters (and from there the results ripple like waves beyond his world).

Hence the good relationship between him and Merlin. He takes care of her, while Merlin is taking care of the world at large. Merlin's power forces such a responsibility on her, removing her from the small worlds people live in. It is making her dependent on people such as Hogan and Valen, who keep her involved in the small worlds of theirs. Human well-being depends entirely on these real, small world relationships (and keeps them humble).

He has failed some previous jobs. Not everyone or everything can be saved or protected. It is still gnawing on his mind occasionally, making him feel rather small and powerless in the face of destiny. Then, for a short time, the smile on his face fades.

..............................................

His scar happened among the things that led to Hogan engaging Valen around 5-6 years ago. Valen somehow was at the right time at the right place and got entangled with some business near Holistone. It was an injury taken because Valen stepped up to go beyond what was ever expected from him. Hogan immediately liked the young man and offered him a place to work. Valen was unemployed at that time and Hogan didn't expect he would win him over with the "meagre" pay he could offer but Valen ended up accepting after all.

Valen really just lives by his own honor code and as long as he serves the one he chose to follow (Hogan), all is well for him. In the end, serving under Hogan in the Heroic Order is just his latest choice of work, not least because it granted him the knighthood. There is probably nothing better than that but as hinted at, I think he would have a difficult time later to decide upon his future if Merlin ever made him choose between becoming her life-long personal knight or staying with Hogan. (He said so pretty much straight at the beginning but I consider that a move which had more to do with drawing the truth out of Merlin rather than being a serious consideration at that point.)

Valen also has no real military training. xD LOL But he got a quick run-down from Hogan, not personally, but he arranged something so that Valen could catch up. There was nothing much he needed to learn, other than how exactly the hierarchies are structured and what bureaucratic requirements must be met etc.

................................................

I think Stormcaller is a fabled sword actually originating from Stoutstone Isle. Owning that sword is basically a childhood dream since it features so much in local folktales. They say its true potential can only be unlocked by someone worthy of wielding it. How it ends up in an auction, in Holistone no less, I don't know. But it seems to have been considered as nothing but a pretty sword to be kept on a wall, being mindlessly passed on from one rich to the other. Until Valen happened to walk past the auction house seeing the items on for that night's event. I don't know how exactly he got it, but I am 100% certain that he did not simply make a bid and won it. xD Nonetheless, the sword seems to be rightfully in his hands afterwards, as there are no claims made otherwise.

Stormcaller makes use of gems, by the way. Fay would probably have tons to say about that. xD The electricity we see in-game is actually known to Valen also. He can feel the buzzing power running through the sword when he touches it and how it enables him to move faster and deal more than melee damage to his foes. While those he attacks get stunned by the magic, Valen only takes the positive effects of it, making him… truly the one who is worthy of wielding it.

Regarding his second sword (further HCs recorded here): Valen says "it's not the right time to use it", suggesting that there is going to be a specific time for it to be used. Reminds me a little of Walker who used his old friends gun to get revenge. At the moment, this is a bit too much of a stretch, thinking that Valen might use it in similar fashion. He isn't really the character for such actions. Instead, I think it's more along the lines of a promise made not to use it until a certain condition is met. A promise important enough to carry that sword for years. To whom he made that promise? Hmmm… ;-)

...............................................

Valen started playing poker when he became a mercenary. He enjoys the psychological tactics it involves and uses his out-going inclinations to massively confuse the other players. xD

He's frugal by being too lazy to shop. He saves up merely by not knowing what to spend it on. Most of his salary goes towards food and drink. He lives very minimally.

Even if, further down the line, his family house came hunting him down, he would never return to Stoutstone Isle. He just doesn't see any scenario in which he'd be happy doing so. He makes to claims to any heritage rights, either. He's left and he's gone, leaving the isle fully to sort out it's own problems. (Maybe a reason why that canon was ditched, since it seems irrelevant to his backstory if it never came up again in any sort of relevance.)

And that's it. For now. xD Again, thanks for reading this wall of text. <3

EDIT: ditched the idea about Valen's dad and leaving it open regarding his mother, being dead or not... Also added a link to the headcanons regarding his second sword.

[ariaste]

Hi! Regarding your recent post about how you taught your writing workshops, I was reading through it and was feeling very inspired (you sound amazing as a teacher), but I also really wish I had a community like that. Since I'm currently focusing on an original work, I was wondering how do you go about finding fellow writers/betas that you can trust with work and form a mutual writing relationship with? I've looked for and joined many communities like Nanowrimo and discord servers over the years, yet nothing seemed to click? So yeah sorry for the bother but I was wondering if you had any advice :D

Re: "you sound amazing as a teacher" -- aw thanks! I was an INCREDIBLE teacher. That might sound kind of vain to say with so much assurance, but it truly was the first time in my life where I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing a really, really fucking good job. (And that's WITH my anxiety, so like. Oof.) I just set out on purpose to be the kind of teacher I always longed to have when I was an apprentice writer, and that got me most of the way there. The rest was just spite for all the shitty creative writing classes I'd had before LOL. I'd already seen all the mistakes myself from the other side, so I just came up with better ways of doing things. And then day one of class, I had them all do a self-assessment of what they wanted to learn in the class, what fears they had, etc, and I was really struck by how universal the sense of insecurity and under-confidence was in all their replies. So that just confirmed what I already suspected, to wit: my ONE JOB (and again, this was a "writing and publishing scifi/fantasy" class) was just to hammer in the idea of, "Your ideas ARE cool, the things you think are cool ARE IN FACT COOL, you ARE allowed to write about queer dragons or whatever and that's an awesome thing to be doing and I'm HERE FOR IT." If the one thing a student takes from a creative writing class is more confidence in their writing and more trust in themself, then the goal has been achieved. If a teacher says anything else, we're verging on snobbery (Iowa Writer's Workshop can go get fucked btw)

ANYWAY.

Finding a beta you click with is a lot like finding a friend or a romantic partner who you click with. That is: there's a lot of fish in the sea, but not all of them are going to be right for you, and sometimes it takes a while to find that special person. It sounds like you're doing all of the right things, though, so just keep at it.

That said, a couple lifehacks: do NOT talk about your work with the vibes of "hey, i'm looking for a beta, does anyone want to beta for me?" because (at least in my experience) those acquaintances often turn out to be sort of transactional and shallow -- think of people who walk into any situation like "hey will you be my girlfriend? i'm looking for a girlfriend. do you want to date me as my girlfriend??? will someone please be my girlfriend?" rather than trying to make genuine connections with people as *people* versus the role that the girlfriend-seeker wants to put them in. (Exception to this: Fandom-specific servers where you are looking for a beta for a fic. Then it's less weird to ask out loud for a beta, because you've already established a mutual shared interest/passion. It's not cold-calling in the same way, you get me??)

Instead, aim to project vibes of "I'm having so much fun playing in my sandbox :) I am having so much fun by myself, maybe too much fun in fact [psychically broadcasting that the fun is in such abundance around here that there would be enough to share if someone happened to wander past...]" Post about your work, talk about it in public, give people little excerpts or tidbits you're proud of. Look for people who express interest in the sort of fun you're having, and then start up conversations about it. Look for people who are having the sort of fun of their own that you're interested in, compliment them on it and ask questions, and build a relationship. (If they're writing the sort of thing you're into, chances are that you're writing the sort of thing they're into. Not always, but frequently!)

Sometimes it is possible to take an existing friend who is interested in your work (or at least supportive of it and loving of you) and kind of train them into being a great beta reader even if they themselves are not really a writer. It takes a lot of self-knowledge of what you're looking for and what you need in terms of feedback, it takes some patience and trust in your relationship with them, it takes the ability to negotiate boundaries and ask really good questions, and it takes a friend who is game to try and who likes the sort of things you like. (Personal recommendation: Don't try to get feedback from someone who isn't even interested in the genre that you're writing. A dedicated literary fiction fan is probably going to have a REAL hard time appreciating your gruesome scifi horror book for what it is, and if they're not familiar with the genre conventions, their suggestions are predisposed to be kind of Weird and Not Right For What You're Writing. Accept their love and support, but also accept that neither of you are going to have a good time if they try to beta for you.)

Trying to build relationships in an open community like a forum or a Discord server is a good way to cast a wide net, but all deep lasting relationships happen on a single line between you and the other person, so look for opportunities to talk to people one-on-one in DMs to build that kind of creative intimacy.

It takes time! But if you're open about the things that are bringing you joy and you're talking about them and setting them out in plain sight, the right people will eventually be drawn to your joy/fun like moths to a flame. Humans cannot resist that shit.

If you've been doing that and it's still not working, check in with yourself -- is your project actually bringing you joy, or are you going through the motions? Readjust, reorient yourself, try again. Lean into it. Go hard or go home. If you're really truly genuinely having fun by yourself, then your eventual readers will too.

If you're doing all THAT and it's STILL not working (that is, if people are expressing initial interest but you can't hold their attention and they wander off once they read your work), then that's a signal that you've got a tension problem.

GOOD LUCK. You will find your people eventually, just keep going! :)

[webcomixwastaken]

Honestly, every time I see someone insist they need AI for writing, be it for getting an idea or drafting their piece or even basic grammar my instinct is to say:

"Just... GET GOOD."

Like, have no ideas? Then read more books in ALL sorts of genres, styles, and authors. Even read different age groups (if you only read YA but are over the age of 20, I promise you there is plenty of Adult out there you will love. Find it. You deserve it.) Do the same for movies, shows, and plays. Go to festivals and exhibitions and concerts. Dabble in different hobbies to observe and talk to people, all sorts of people. EXPERIENCE LIFE, that's how you'll be inspired to write about it. Know the world and how you feel in it beyond what the internet tells you to. (Also, you'll find out that your "brilliantly unique concept" has likely been done before and that your personal life experience will be the thing that makes it genuinely unique.)

Think your writing is bad? AI can't make it good for you. AI is a shitty writer. If you want to write I assume you like to read. (If you want to write but don't like to read then you have an incredibly tough, nigh impossible road to "being a good writer" ahead of you.) Again, read as widely as you can. Fanfic alone will not help you unless you only want to write fanfic which I do know applies to a lot of people. There's a fantastic thread floating around here that explains why writing for fanfic vs writing original work for publication are very different spheres. And as someone who reads a bunch of both, the best fanfic still has structure, character development, and actual plot, very similarly to books. (This is very much my subjective opinion, but I despise "no plot only vibes" -- to me both are integral to a good read. This 100% applies to tradpub too; the social media trope-focused marketing annoys me to no end. What is your story ABOUT?? If you can't tell me I have no interest in reading it.)

Instead of taking the shortcut that is actually sending you back to the start anyway, just... GET GOOD. And you get good by BEING BAD. Compose some trite purple prose nonsense rife with cliches. Have all your characters be shameless Mary Sues. Or, as I see the most often in early writers, be pedantic and repetitive as fuck because you don't know that you're doing it yet until after a year or so you look back and go "why the hell did I talk so much about this irrelevant thing? it totally disrupted the momentum of the scene and doesn't even develop character." And then, you'll realise that you've learned how to edit! Congratulations! You must understand that AI doesn't know this. AI is just plagiarising a couple hundred thousand people. AI has no brain. Don't trust it. Don't even play with it. It is a pathetic zombie concoction that only causes damage to others and the environment. Trust YOUR BRAIN. You are SO MUCH SMARTER. You KNOW what you want and like, you have way better ideas and images you want to convey. And in time you will know how to convey them accurately and compellingly in a way that sounds like you.

And finally, AI for grammar and spelling? Hoo boy do I have some opinions. Well, just one. Which is to simply GET GOOD!!

People bitch that English is a difficult language to learn but hey! All languages have their rules and nuances, so that's merely subjective! Whatever language you want to write in, learn those rules!! Seriously, just GET GOOD!! it's doable! I do it! In fact, many people do it and have DONE SO FOR YEARS.

Honestly, I don't use ANY kind of grammar software beyond the basic spellcheck automatically built into browsers and word processors nowadays (the ones that give you wiggly lines while you're typing and even then I rarely right click to accept since I find it faster to simply retype properly) because I KNOW MY SHIT. I know how to construct sentences, use consistent tense, punctuate properly, and capitalise or italicise or utilise any other convention of the English language I wish to follow or break because this is my craft, and I know how to shape it to become what I want my work to be.

So here is where I expect people to be all like "but what if I'm NOT a native speaker of the language huh huh??" Well, you're choosing to write in this language though. Do your level best -- and here is where I will say that this grammar stuff IS the most forgivable aspect anyway. Spelling errors or janky phrasing never hurt anyone when we can tell it's coming from a place of true diligence and effort, in fact one of my favourite fanfics of all time was set a summer camp and the NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKING author wrote "councilor" until about chapter 20 when they asked us, utterly mortified, in the notes why nobody had corrected them (because the plot and characterisation were immersive AF and felt like it came from a real person with real experiences). Some of the most poetic syntax and delightful descriptions I've come across were from people writing in not their first language, or even second or third -- children and adults alike, still learning and still TRYING because they took this shit seriously and were putting in their all.

This is the part that I personally cannot comprehend (but in a practical way I do, only because I see it EVERYWHERE) of people claiming that they just can't "get" grammar and need some brainless software running on codes and algorithms to "correct" them - don't you want to be FREE of this dependence?? Wouldn't you prefer to write KNOWING that it says what you WANT it to say instead of hoping that maybe 30% will remain after a program strips it of voice and style (and then because you're no longer paying attention, it also makes your sentences just WORSE and not "succinct" at all)?? Don't you want to be grown and confident with SKILLS instead of whining for help (which just boils to someone doing it FOR you, not actual help) all the time???????? Like seriously!! Have some self-esteem!!!!! You deserve it!!!! GET GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been teaching fiction writing as my day job for nearly a decade now and when my students fret over their sub-par skills I always ask them how old they are. Because they should know that 9 year olds aren't supposed to spell everything correctly. Instead, they're supposed to make mistakes so they can learn how to fix them. Then, they should practise and practise and practise until they're 19 and realise that the habit has developed so beautifully that they're finding it HARD to make mistakes!

And if you're 29 and still struggling, no it's not too late. The best time was to start 20 years ago but the second best is now. Writing is pretty much a lifetime gig so keep going, and GET GOOD!!

[pinkberrytea]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Eeee tysm for the tag @nyx-knox and @honeybee-bard! 🥹🙌❣️

When did you start writing?

I used to write fanfiction when I was 13 years old, but as an adult, this is actually my first time dabbling in creative writing! I released my first work back in April, crazy to think it’s been barely four months since I started!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Horror and mystery are actually my favorite genres, though I'm not sure I'd be able to pull either off? I should give it a go one day, maybe!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

To be honest any comparisons at all would make me plenty happy since I barely consider myself a writer 😅 There are some people in the fandom who are endless sources of inspiration for me though, all authors in my recs list and ao3 bookmarks, for starters.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

No BG3 merch sadly, yet!

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Just daydreaming honestly. Also listening to music helps plenty! Researching lore and brainstorming ideas with friends too. But mostly just daydreaming!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hurt and comfort, and also angst. Lots of it, for some reason. It does surprise me how angsty all my writing ends up coming across, but I try to balance it out with some melodramatic fluff, I guess? I do want to try my hand at some less serious/more lighthearted themes eventually though, branch out a little!

What is your reason for writing?

Coping, mostly. Also as a sort of therapy, to sort out my feelings about themes that are important to me and that I’ve been processing through media. And no less relevant, simply as a self-indulgent outlet! I write what I myself would like to read.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Every single comment is incredibly motivating for me, but of course, I do twirl my hair and kick my feet whenever someone tells me about which passages they liked the best and how they specifically felt about a certain scene. Also, whenever people pick up on a detail I was sure would go by unnoticed!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want my readers to think of me as a friend, as someone who is always accessible and up for talking about writing, be it mine or just in general!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, this is a toughie. I have a very flowery and verbose style, though I’m not sure that’s a strength? I guess it could be, depending on your preferences. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, really.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I don’t think highly of it from a technical standpoint, but I do pour my heart and soul into every single piece, and that makes them all special to me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I can sincerely say I write mostly for myself, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to write anything at all because I don’t think I could live up to anyone’s expectations. Though of course, the feedback I receive on a piece may in fact influence whether I feel inspired to expand on it or just move on to something new. Even if I’m typically my own main target audience, comments are always greatly appreciated!

No pressure tags ✨ @locallegume, @judasiskariot, @inkymoonbunny, @starryjuicebox and @kalmiaphlox!

[another-lost-mc]

is it bad that as much as i like your ocs (theyre amazing, i love them!), i really miss seeing you write for the canon characters

You know, that’s valid. The proportion of Canon and OC content here lately has been way off. It’s sort of the elephant in the room I ignore every time I think about Obey Me and my inspiration automatically focuses on the world building or OC potential instead.

There’s a few reasons why I’ve been less interested in writing canon lately.

1. Disappointment with Nightbringer. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure why this game exists (except to overhaul the franchise’s monetization structure). The premise and lore payoff hasn’t been that great for me personally - it feels more like an AU rather than a canon addition/continuation of the OG game. It feels like we still end up with more loose ends and questions that we don’t have (and may never get) answers for. I’m still waiting for Raphael and Mephisto to be dateable, by the way. As a result, my focus when writing OM content has been using the OG story/characterization using the odd piece from NB that makes sense, and that leads into…

2. My favourite parts of Obey Me are under-developed in canon. I enjoy most of the canon cast, I really do. But I want more Celestial Realm lore, I want more Michael (and not NB HM Lesson 20 Michael), I want more angels in general. They’ve mentioned Uriel a couple times now, give me that angel please and thank you! (No longer relevant, I wrote a version of him myself.)

The world feels so empty at times but there’s so much potential. Parts of the Devildom are more fleshed out with NB adding to it, but what about the other realms? What’s going on with the Sorcerer’s Society and the reapers? I never know if the interesting hints of lore we get are truly relevant or if it’s just something the game decided was convenient for a plot point and never gets mentioned again. NB has been great for Solomon fans since it’s practically a Solomon x MC fanfic written with a forced roommates trope, and that might be the best thing about it from a lore perspective.

My OCs were originally meant to explore gaps in the world and give the canon characters room to grow beyond the one or two defining traits the game keeps repeating over and over. I like writing Mammon when I can have him interact with Karasu, I like imagining the types of angels other exchange students might meet in the Celestial Realm, I like giving a name and personality to the mysterious owner of The Fall where so many events and Devilgram stories take place. Admittedly, it was refreshing to see that other people enjoyed reading about them or imagining them paired with their own MCs/OCs too. I call them the OC Fan Club with genuine affection.

3. It’s not something I talk about often but before I began writing fanfiction, I was mostly focused on concepts or outlines for original stories. Writing supernatural and horror themes always been my interest as a writer so anything with demons/angels/other monstrous races automatically catches my eye.

It’s a little mean to say, but half-baked worlds like the Devildom are a lot of fun to use as a foundation for expanding my own ideas. The OC story I’ve been working on is one way for me to write longer and more complex pieces which is the type I like most. Granted, it includes nearly the entire game cast and it explores the Devildom and Celestial Realm in ways that tie together some of my favourite personal headcanons and characterization. It focuses on angel characters and the history/culture of the Celestial Realm which are two of my main interests for this game. It’s a huge project - the outline is nearly 20k words on its own, it’s practically a novel divided into four sections with 30+ chapters and an epilogue. I can’t even express how excited I am when I get to work on this.

That being said, I do like writing canon content and I’ve been missing it more lately. I got burnt out when it felt like I was losing interest in NB and was pushing myself to keep writing anyway which isn’t great.

Today someone left a nice comment on something I wrote a while back, an angst piece for the demon brothers. I haven’t read it in a while and after going back and re-reading it, I was like, “Huh, I don’t remember liking this as much as I do.” And then I remembered something in my drafts that’s been rotting away, half-edited and ignored, and realized that I wanted to finish it. So, I’ve been slowly tinkering with things while I work on my angels’ story. Some of my plans are ambitious and real life distractions (mostly health related, like my recent bout of COVID) haven’t helped.

If I learned anything about my writing since starting this blog, it’s that:

writing what you’re passionate about is more fulfilling than writing what seems trendy or popular

giving and receiving feedback and fostering friendships/supporting each other keeps the community thriving

self care self care self care

Anyway. My goal has always been to write about the things I love about the game world and the things I create that are inspired by it. It’s a delicate balancing act that I’m still working on.

[ode-to-fanfics]

Welcome to »Ode to Fanfics«

This will be a love letter for fanfiction. I don’t think people talk about enough, how incredible facfiction can be. I almost don’t want to call it fanfiction, because of how often it’s a subject to make fun of »fanatic fans« and how »crazy« people can be to write stories about other stories. And that is just unbelievably narrow minded. Fanfiction has been written since the 19th century (which I just found out during my five minute Wikipedia search) and that was only the »official« fanfiction by »real« authors. But it is so much more than that. Just think about it. People get so inspired to come up with more creative content and write stories that are more often or not longer than real books. Then they publish them and let other people enjoy their stunning work. FOR FREE!? And they don’t get anything other than maybe some comments and likes!? So in the name of all the fanfiction readers. THANK YOU!!

Now I want to give something back to the amazing people that write fanfiction. I’m not a writer myself. I can’t count how many times I was told during school and university that I just wasn’t good (so please be kind to me for writing this). I wasn’t even a big reader. Probably I could count on one hand how many books I’ve read in my teenage years. So for me, it is incredible to think how talented people are to make writing so life-like and make me forget I’m reading all together. Some stories made me cry, some made me laugh and others just made me feel the bone-deep love I have for the characters. And how amazing is it to make people feel so strongly with just words on a page (or in most cases on a small screen)? This is Art. 

So, how am I going to pay such a tribute. Well, I going to either read stories that I haven’t read before or stories that I’ve read so many times already that I lost count. Then I’m going to try writing an Ode for each story and talk about what I enjoyed, what I laughed about, what I cried about or about whatever feeling that occured while reading. 

Probably no one or just very few people will actually read this and who am I to voice my opinions about other peoples work. But maybe, just maybe some will read it and enjoy the stories as much as I do and who knows, maybe some authors will enjoy someone writing about their story. But either way, I try to get over my fear of writing and highlight how amazing other people are at it. 

So welcome and enjoy!

xx

[winged-cries]

Sorry if you've already talked about this before, but what do you think about the notion that horror is generally bad because it has a misogyny problem, and that exploitation / r&r films are problematic and the ppl who watch them are suspicious? i don't really know how to explain what i mean too well but i know you usually have very nuanced takes about this kind of thing 🤍

i think i understand what you mean, no worries 🖤

honestly i don't think horror has a greater misogyny problem than any other film genre, though how the problem presents itself may be different. it's maybe more blatant within horror but not necessarily worse. movies have a misogyny problem across all genres, i don't think horror is special in that. horror films do inspire some strong reactions though, so i can understand why it prompts more discussion in that vein.

rape & revenge is a particular case, and it's difficult to discuss. i have a lot of thoughts about it, but i find it hard to put it down in writing because they're not very cohesive. i actually did a little research and asked around for material about r&r because i wanted to give an informed opinion but i didn't find much. it'd be easier for me to discuss particular movies anyway, because i don't think i've explored the genre deeply enough.

there are some &r movies i really really love and i know some people watch them because they find the degradation of women titillating -- that upsets me but it doesn't stop me from enjoying or admiring the movie itself. some r&r movies are, in my opinion, really interesting and engaging and i'd go so far as to call them beautiful and thoughtful. of course for each of those you'll probably find a greater number of misogynistic drivel -- but i can't affirm that for sure because so much of my experience has been guided by what other women have watched, enjoyed and recommended, so i've probably avoided whatever didn't have much to offer. but then that's always really subjective -- for example, i don't care for i spit on your grave but my mom sort of loves it. i don't think her opinion is any less valid than mine, and i find opinions differ a lot when it comes to r&r.

i do have a question that i'd like to pose to you but also anyone else reading this, which is -- what you think of when you think of rape & revenge? do you consider only exploitation movies or do you also consider titles like the virgin spring or kuroneko? because of course there's a lot to be discussed about exploitation films, and how some directors managed to make genuinely interesting works while trying to remain commercial and please a certain audience. like, there are things in r&r exploitation films that i could do without but i can still admire the final result. but then sometimes i think of like, thriller: a cruel picture and how the pornographic scenes impact the movie in a way that i personally find interesting because it makes it all the more brutal, and the director really managed to make it all very non-erotic and even cold and distant... sort of going through the motions in a way that imo fits perfectly with what's going on.

but there's just so much to discuss about exploitation and about r&r specifically, a lot of my thoughts are not very cohesive or well informed. i'm curious to know how others feel about it, especially other women, and i'd love to discuss it more. but it's hard to give a solid opinion because i can see the matter through many different angles. like, of course the fact that r&r often targets a male audience while exploiting the suffering and degradation of women is a problem and reflective of a bigger one. but many r&r movies have genuine value and, more importantly, have real value to a lot women.

[lady-phasma]

It’s me again 💝

I’ve been in the Hotd fandom since the show first aired but got really into it once adult Aemond showed up . I’ve dabbled in a bunch of what I call creator content, fics , imagines even editing videos … I just don’t seem to find my people or I have people and they talk for awhile but then ghost . I try not to stress cause I get it we have lives and that shit comes first but it’s just idk sad when I try so hard and I’m lost in the crowd if you will. I’ve reached out to people via dm and I usually try to comment and give my opinion to get some interaction . Perhaps I’m making a bigger deal than I should . I would love to come off anon and dm but I just don’t wanna be judged and I say this even though I know people reading this will think pathetic . It is what it is

Hi 💝! Thank you for writing again! First, no negative self-talk on my blog. 😊 It's not a rule exactly, but I don't support it. Maybe you follow me, that's irrelevant, but I doubt that the demographic of my followers will think anything about this is pathetic. Outside of them, if they think that, they can block me and then we don't have to worry about their opinions, do we?

Now that's out of the way, don't worry about coming off anon. You don't have to or you can decide later. I answered another ask and said this and it bears repeating:

Feelings are valid, but they are not always truth.

Maybe it is a big deal to you at this point in your life. It has been to me at other times (not on Tumblr because I was on a near-10 year break from it). I don't like to give advice because I'm not in your shoes. I can only offer an ear to listen and my honest opinions.

Keep creating!! Whether it's in a fandom setting or not. I only write what I want to write. I only make gifs of what I want (or need for a fic). Make things when you feel inspiration or even if you don't. Drop your imagines in here if you want. Especially (but not limited to) excitement you have during the second season! There is going to be so much lovely chaos during the second season. We are all going to have thoughts!

As for your experience on your blog, follow more people, reblog with comments/discourse (if it's kind and not hurtful). And try not to compare yourself to others. I know it's difficult when notes on a post feel so damn good, but they aren't always immediate. And be yourself. I don't mean any of this as advice - it's just how I behave on here. Try not to try, just be.

I am so glad you've been in the fandom since the start! I stared my HotD experience on AO3 because I had been on there for years. Then a conversation in the comments in October 2022 got me on Tumblr for the first time since 2013/14. I'm so glad it did! There has been drama (I took a hiatus from Jan 2023 until March 2024) but there has been more joy and fun than that for me. I do that on purpose.

As I've said before, there were about 9 million viewers for the season 1 finale. That's a lot of people. More than I can imagine. So, if I were to offer advice it would be this: this time around for me I have been looking at the tags I follow more often than I used to. I look at posts that are like-minded: kind posts, funny posts that don't make fun of any part of the fandom, and posts about niche characters/elements. Then I look at that blog further, check out older posts to see if they have my same values (or close), and if so, I give them a follow. People don't always follow back, that's okay. But I get to see their positivity or inclusivity and that enriches my experience. The Nettles community is one of the best out here and I am so glad I get to be a part of it. We don't always agree but it's so fun to find a part of another aspect of the fandom. I throw my net wide because there are so many of us.

Lastly, like I said in a recent answer: what do you do to make others feel heard? Do you comment on posts when people express that they are lonely in a fandom? Do you give them a hug emoji or a "hey, I see you" kind of reaction? I do these things when I see those posts because what we put out comes back to us. Treat others how you want to be treated. That's not to say you haven't been doing this but if you haven't, maybe think about why - are you shy, judgmental, unsure how it will be received, or other motivations to keep scrolling?

I want everyone to have a great time in this or any fandom. This fandom in particular needs more positivity and inclusivity. I didn't get the nickname auntie for nothing. 💕 But it's never forced or fake. Come back to my inbox any time and as often as you like. We don't have to keep discussing this unless you want to! Is Aemond your favorite? Which episode do you dislike the most? Are you excited about something in particular for season 2? But there is no expectation or obligation.

[philosopherking1887]

On Individualism and Collectivism

I saw a post promoting collectivism over individualism going around a while back, which inspired me to write a post about a philosophical issue I've been thinking about for a while. I was going to reblog a version of that post with some interesting commentary added, and add even more commentary to it, but it was getting incredibly long, so I thought it was best to make my own post, and just include a link -- here -- to the post with the relevant commentary, to which I will occasionally refer in the discussion below.

I got into a disagreement a few years ago with another academic philosopher about whether feminists must be individualists, in which I attempted (unsuccessfully, I'm afraid) to explain a distinction between what I have since started calling surface and fundamental individualism and collectivism:

Surface individualism or collectivism describes the emphasis of the cultural ethos that members of a society are taught.

Fundamental individualism or collectivism refers to where the fundamental locus of ethical value is taken to lie: the individual or the community.

Here's my overall thesis, fully explained and argued for under the "keep reading" link (which may be similar to what @reasonandempathy was trying to get at in the first reblog comment on the post linked above):

Surface collectivism is probably better than surface individualism because it promotes the well-being of more people; but fundamental individualism is necessary to justify the protection of individual rights to autonomy over one's life and body.

Neoliberal individualism is surface individualism. The culture emphasizes individual choice, individual action, makes individuals feel like they must always support themselves and rely on no one else, tells them that that is what constitutes real "freedom." This is the outlook that the other philosopher was (correctly) arguing is wrongly thought, by some white Western feminists, to be necessary to feminism; it is sometimes promoted by Western aid agencies that encourage women in the Global South to start their own businesses to achieve financial independence from (apparently) oppressive family and community structures. Surface collectivism would mean a culture that tells people to always think about their relationships with others, how they are embedded in a community, what they can accomplish by working with others. That sounds a lot better, especially to those of us who are well-acquainted with the pernicious, alienating consequences of surface individualism.

Fundamental collectivism says that only the collective matters in itself, or has intrinsic value, and any given individual has significance only a means to the survival and flourishing of the collective. It's ambiguous, but this seems to be the attitude being articulated in the tweet at the top of the linked post. And that is what @conservativemalarkey talks about in the third comment on that post as a justification for forcing anyone born with a uterus and ovaries to give birth: according to fundamental collectivism, that person's reproductive capacities are in the first instance a resource for the community to reproduce itself, and their individual preferences about what to do with their body do not matter. There is no individual right to bodily autonomy; there is only the duty to perpetuate the community. To put it in the terms that @nothorses brought up: the collective has rights but no obligations/duties to its individuals; individuals have obligations to the collective, but no rights that it is required to respect.

That's why I have come to believe (and was attempting to argue with the other philosopher) that fundamental (not surface) collectivism is incompatible with feminism: it provides no grounds to protect individuals' rights to bodily autonomy. That, of course, harms everyone; historically, communities have often forced men and boys to risk their lives going to war to defend the community, or to add to its wealth and territory. But it especially notably harms those who are assumed to have the capacity to gestate and bear children (gendered by cisnormative society as women and girls, giving rise to sexism and misogyny that affect anyone associated with that category), because that capacity is, so to speak, the "limiting reagent" for reproduction in the community: it is a scarce resource, far more limited in the lifespan, costly in time and energy, and dangerous to the life and health of the possessor than the capacity to fertilize. For that reason, patriarchal societies (incredibly widespread historically and geographically) effectively regard the reproductive capacities of potential child-bearers as community property, or as a commodity regulated by the community. A (presumed) woman*'s value, and the purpose of her life, consists in her ability to reproduce within the socially approved constraints; women's sexual activities are everyone's business; everyone feels entitled to comment on the bodies of women of reproductive age, especially when pregnant, and how they raise their children.

[[*Meant to encompass anyone perceived as a woman, which in most contexts, historically, also means being assumed to have childbearing capacities; includes AFAB people who do not identify as women as well as trans women who pass as cis. The general attitude also, of course, affects trans women who don't pass as cis but are understood to be communicating a self-identification as a woman.]]

Can a community be said to flourish if a large number of the individuals in it are miserable? Structurally, yes: it can successfully perpetuate itself, grow, become wealthy, while all its individuals dutifully sacrifice themselves to it. Ironically, for a society based so heavily on surface individualism, modern capitalism looks a lot like that: individuals are expected to sacrifice themselves for The Economy, which grows and maintains itself like an organism without regard for whether the vast majority of the individual 'cells' that make up its organs and tissues are satisfied with their lives. This is also true of patriarchal cultures in which at least half of the population is limited in the way they can live their lives, and are taught to see this as natural and inevitable.

Fundamental individualism, by contrast, says that the locus of value is the individual: what matters is the well-being of individual human (or sentient) beings, and communities are valuable only insofar as they contribute to the well-being of their individual members. Fundamental individualism is perfectly compatible with surface collectivism, and it is very probably true that most individuals will be happiest if they live in communities that emphasize their communal ties and encourage them to think of themselves as enmeshed in and dependent on a community. BUT fundamental individualism will say that this kind of culture is good because it is what is best for the greatest number of individuals.

According to fundamental individualism, the collective, qua collective, has no value independent of the individuals in it. Individuals have rights to autonomy and to have basic needs met which the community must respect. Do individuals have obligations to the collective? Yes, but only as a surface shorthand for their obligations to all the other individuals that make it up. Communities, cultures, collective forms of life have no intrinsic value, because they are not independently sentient: they cannot feel pain, pleasure, desire, or satisfaction. The loss of communities and cultures is terrible because of the harm that it causes to the individuals who lose their sense of connection, identity, and purpose. But if a way of life systematically fails to promote the well-being of a great many of its members, and/or systematically violates their rights in a way that cannot be remedied without ending that way of life, then it deserves to be ended. Again, most of us here have no trouble saying that about modern capitalist society, but it's equally true of any form of social organization.

Are people (outside of academic philosophy) generally familiar with Ursula K. Le Guin's story "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas"? Here's the text, available from libcom.org (short for "libertarian communism," apparently). Spoiler alert: episode 1.06 of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, "Lift Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach," is very obviously based on it. That is one of the starkest, most evocative illustrations of collectivism that is not balanced by consideration of the rights and well-being of individuals: one individual is forced to live in unending misery so that the rest of the community can be happy.

"But that's not real collectivism!" someone will protest. "Real collectivism means everyone takes care of each other! They would have compassion for every member of the community and never allow that to happen to one of them!" Well, it depends on what you mean by "real." Many forms of surface collectivism could mount an argument against that arrangement, on the grounds that a healthy community must care for all its members, even (or especially!) the humblest and most vulnerable. From the perspective of either surface or fundamental collectivism, it might be argued that permitting any member of the community to suffer in this way would damage the cohesion of the community by encouraging callousness regarding the suffering of (certain) other members.

But nothing about fundamental collectivism says that a community must care for all its individual members in order to flourish; on the contrary, it says that individuals do not matter for their own sake, but only for what they can contribute to the community. Fundamental collectivism can only offer an indirect, instrumental argument that allowing the Omelas situation would harm the community because of how it would affect the community ethos. In Le Guin's story, all members of the community do know about the condition of their society's thriving; that's how some of them decide that they should walk away. But in the SNW episode, most people do not understand what their happiness rests on; they can blissfully believe that the community does care for all its members, so fundamental collectivism could not find anything wrong with the arrangement.

Crucially, fundamental collectivism cannot capture the real reason most of us will think the Omelas situation is horrifying: that it violates the rights of an individual who does not choose to sacrifice their well-being for the sake of the community, but is forced to suffer so that the community can thrive. If you're thinking it would be OK if, and only if, the individual did choose to be the sacrifice for the community: that's something that might be promoted, even glorified, by surface collectivism, which would encourage people to see their individual happiness as less important than the well-being of the community. But fundamental collectivism could not account for the profound ethical difference between a chosen and a forced sacrifice: the importance of individual autonomy; the principle that no one should be able to make such a momentous choice about the course of an individual's life except that individual.

Mind you, this does not mean that a fundamentally individualistic ethics will necessarily rule the Omelas situation impermissible. There are some forms of fundamental individualism that could justify it -- notably, utilitarianism, which would say that the suffering of one individual, however appalling, is far outweighed by the perfect happiness of thousands or millions of other individuals. Fundamental individualism is not sufficient to rule it out; and you might not think it should be ruled out, considering the numbers involved. But fundamental individualism is necessary to even say what the problem is. The only objection that fundamental collectivism could offer doesn't even locate the problem in the terrible forced suffering of the individual, but in the way that knowing about it might affect the cohesion of the rest of the community.

So while I'm generally in favor of a surface-collectivist ethos, I'm convinced that any fundamentally collectivist ethical theory has profoundly immoral consequences. The ultimate locus of ethical value must be the individual. It's fine for a culture to encourage individuals to prioritize the community over themselves, but there is something genuinely wrong with the community forcing sacrifices on its members, and that can only be accounted for with reference to irreducible individual rights.

[jichanxo]

sooooo... *twirls her hair* how many asks should i send until kuwagami art. jk as well. the real question will be: does it happen often that someone else’s art inspires you? in fandom spaces specifically

well you see it’s like a loyalty card program, every 10 asks or so you get a complimentary kuwagami

just kidding you can just breathe in my direction and I’ll be tempted to draw them. kuwagami blast! (you've caught me on a... just okay art day lol)

(people still like kabedons, right?)

anyway for my actual answer: in terms of direct inspiration, it doesn't really happen much? the last two times i did art directly based on someone else's work is probably this one from this fic, and also that time i drew art of someone else's judgment au. oh! and there's that moriohpsycho art based on this comic! (filthyguts' work is so very. hgngngghh. very good.) nothing else really comes to mind, and when i think of the other things i've been into recently there hasn't been as much opportunity for that to happen...

flex and herds = strong fixation but lmao. almost nobody else made stuff about them. nobody is surprised umineko = surprisingly i don't read much umineko fanfiction? and in terms of illustration, i certainly picked up imagery and indirect inspiration but nothing concrete enough for me to give an example... now that i think about it, i did once draw andromalius from redaction/sunny, but that was years ago, and also mostly because i was acquainted with the writer. ...i don't have that artwork on hand right now death note = didn't really get involved with the fandom + i enjoyed my own ideas well enough! ...i can't recall if i drew long-hair-L art before or after seeing other artists do it. and as for everything else the same kind of reasoning applies. didn't really get involved with the fandom or wasn't really compelled to make art in response to stuff i saw, or i just don't remember anymore.

buuuuuuut if we're opening this up to just... pulling ideas from other people? then yeah, all the time, though that kind of goes without saying when you have a creative hobby. ...it's probably going to be hard to come up with examples of this since it's more ambiguous.

there's uhhhhhh... kuwana listens to nickelback which was a @/four-white-trees invention, wasn't it? (EDIT: and @/overdevelopedglasses!) (not tagging in this post so he doesn't feel obligated to read my big ass ask responses 💀) as of writing this, it's not posted but i did end up making kuwagami art based on a nickelback song so. yknow. there's that LMAO

for sawashiro and arakawa, i do sometimes go reference @/todayisafridaynight 's art to help me with my own. ("how did he draw this part of the suit? oh, like that huh? hmm" <- this kind of thing)

and um. i'm not trying to pander to you (at least not this time), but genuinely it's one of the few examples that come to mind at this moment. but when i was writing my first kuwagami fic, i could feel the influence of the ever-changing on my brain... was turning over some of your ideas there...

you remember this? (you even pointed it out in your comment on my fic, and i should've said something then, but whatever i'm saying it now)

that was absolutely because of this

(obligatory poke at anybody else reading this post that you can read passthroughtime's fic here.)

so, um. yeah. not really sure what else to add to that. pretty self evident i think. (i'm always talking about the ever-changing but i don't think i can overstate the impression it left on me at the time)

anyhow there aren't really any other examples off the top of my head! these are all recent examples so they're not so difficult to recall, but there are probably others i've forgotten...