#i feel like its just some pent up emotion or thoughts?

[wassupmygays]

do u have any hc of the significance of pony and soda in the musical having jewelry/necklaces they play w a lot but darry not having any and i noticed when i saw brent is v still when he speaks but soda and pony fidget a lot

i am always fascinated and in awe of the ways actors use physicality to portray so much about the character, and this show is no different. you can definitely look at this both from canon facts and hcs of the characters.

darry, for example, we know through ponyboy's eyes as this rock of a man that doesnt give in to anything. ponyboy is seeing this through his young, upset eyes and just thinks darry is so stuck and strict bc he doesn't like ponyboy. but i also think that is just . darry coping. and trying not to break. brent has said in multiple interviews that he plays darry very still on purpose. partly because, thematically, he is the rock of the family. he is the pillar holding them up. he has to be still and strong. i feel like if he thinks if he lets himself fidget nervously too much, he'll break, and he just cant have that. the only fidgety character choice i know brent does is biting his nails during stressful scenes, which in my heart is a trait darry and pony share (pony does it in the book a bunch)

sodapop, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. i think if he settles down for a moment too long, that is when he breaks. jason understands soda as a character SO WELL every time he talks about how he plays him im just like yea. youre sodapop. anyways he regularly talks about how when soda allows feels emotions, he experiences them in Big Ways. he cries for days, he feels everything so completely. but he cant let himself do that all the time, so he bounces around. he deflects with a laugh. he busies himself with making everyone else feel better so he doesn't have to focus on his own emotions until he can get the time to let himself let it all go. headcanon wise i think he especially fidgets with his dad's dog tags whenever hes gotta try and hold it all together. he's also an adhd king, so even if he isnt trying to distract himself, hes not staying still.

and finally, ponyboy. i think he is a nervous fidgeter. hes also a 14 year old kid, with all of this pent up emotion about his family and his world and wanting more somehow. he has so much inside of him that he just doesn't understand. i don't think he's as hyperactive about it as sodapop, but its still there. hes chewing his nails, hes tapping his fingers, hes playing with his necklace, or hes running a hand through his hair. to me it feels like hes a mix of his brothers; he can't stay still at all, like soda, but his movements are smaller, like darry. him and darry share a lot of the same motions. and also i think writing, movies, and daydreaming is where he gets out a lot of his energy and feelings.

anyways. that was really long. i love you if you read all of that. as you can see i have So Many thoughts about these characters, so thank you thank you thank you for this ask and im sorry it took some time to answer dkfjdkjfkjf. i will always take more asks to talk about these characters and this story <3

[moonstrawberry-spacerobots]

A Letter to My ■■■

Note: TW/CW [Trigger warning/Content warning] Suicidal mentions/thoughts, Religious implications, Self destructive/harm implications[?] [vent-ish?]

Dear ■■■,

Hey, it’s been some time

Since it’s the ■■ December ■■■■

I just want to tell you happy ■■■■■ day,

you’ve always been a ■■■ to me, my creator,

my reason in my and others existence,

and in this day to celebrate of who you are,

thank you for creating me,

you’ve always given me a lot of things,

you’ve always wanted to best for me,

you’ve always wanted for me to be better,

so you’ve also taken a lot of things from me,

you are the reason of my life, my existence

and you are the reason of my missing want to live,

others would always say to be grateful of what you did,

that I should be more grateful, not say these blasphemous words,

others would always say that what you’re doing are lessons for me,

lessons for me to learn, and prove you that I am good,

that I do deserve your love and your compassion,

so I always do, I always tolerate your actions, tolerate your words,

taking them and making them as one of my believes,

I follow you, till your most heinous of actions, most heinous of words

I stay beside you, I devote to you, I praise you, I let you hurt me

as that is what I was told and teached by others to do

as you are my ■■■, my creator,

I make you my reason to continue this life you’ve given to me,

and I make you my reason to deface and disfigure this wonderful gift from you,

my existence.

sincerely forever yours,

your daughter

your child

I love you ■■■

please don’t leave me

[written in 23 Dec 2023/posted in 25 Dec 2023]

[lizzobetumblin]

Melissa hated her feelings. 

She buried them in a chest in the 5th grade (along with her ability to express them). Other peoples' feelings on the other hand was her forte. She could process, decipher and regurgitate other peoples emotions effortlessly. This gift could’ve taken her through college, all the way to a degree in psychology. Distinguished Dr. Jefferson with a PhD and a cozy office and impressive roster of high-profile, weallthy clients was a shiny idea. Fate would have a different hand for Melissa her talents were exhausted on mediating family fights, friend group drama, and charming her way out of confronting her own feelings. 

“Feelings.” Even saying it out loud to herself seemed silly. Something reserved for ‘cry babies’ and water signs. Typical Sunday nights started tame, reading or writing fan-fiction and drinking cranapple juice. And then like clock work her father would yell her name, 

‘MELISSA!!!’ Emotionless, she’d get up dust off her Winnie the Pooh shorts and make her way downstairs. On the long walk down the hall to the stairs leading to the living room brawl, she’d go through her check list: 

1.) Don’t cry.   

 2.) Stay neutral; Deescalate

3.)Don’t take anything personal. This isn’t about you

She padded down the carpeted stairs in her old soft socks to see her mother tightlipped and tear streaked thinking, 

‘she broke rule number 1’. Her father, Michael was proud and angry, his big belly filled with self righteousness. She knew he would be unyielding in his resolve and at this point her only option was to deescalate.

 ‘Rule number 2’. Then her sister the water sign and calamity for the evening sat on the floor nearly fetal, face red and raw with emotion. 

‘Its not your fault’ Melissa wanted to say ‘You just didn’t follow the rules… you’re loved.’ But she couldn’t say that because she’d be breaking rule number 3. It wasn’t about how Melissa felt. Even though she felt like screaming,

“VANESSA, YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. DAD—YOU JUST HAVE PENT UP ANGER BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN THE HOOD OF DETROIT AS A BLACK MAN IN THE 60s AND 70s. YOU NEED A HEALTHY OUTLET LIKE.. I DONT KNOW… THERAPY?!?!?! THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL OF OUR TIME. I LITERALLY JUST WROTE THE BEST SAILOR SATURN x CHIBI USA FANFICTION EVER AND THIS IS KILLING MY VIBE!”

Instead, she decide to hear every one out. She decided to help. To calm her dragon of a father down. To be a translator for her emotional sister. To not take it personal. To stay neutral. To not cry. 

9 years later, at her fathers funeral she still never broke the rules. She played her flute and spoke at his memorial. She was present for her mother because it wasn’t about her. When other peoples' emotions bubbled up she stayed neutral. She sat through both services and she did not cry. It wasn’t until she excused herself to make a phone call outside did she collapse onto the stairs of the funeral home and weep alone in the cold Detroit snow. 

It’s okay to break the rules sometimes, she reminded herself. As long as no one else sees it.

Traumas began to compact on Melissa, as they do. Humans tend to collect traumas like pebbles on a long hike. We toss them into our backpacks and keep moving forward. Some hikers would falter, but Melissa was built for this. She’d carried the stones of her family’s traumas uphill for years. She was strong. 

When men began to befriend and reject her, saying ‘you’re too good for me’ but not too good to make them feel good. She carried that. 

When childhood friends began to cut off the strings of her heart, saying ‘We can’t be friends anymore’. She carried that.

When her family separated like dandelion seeds, it seemed like they’d never be together again. Melissa slept on so many couches, floors and car seats sometimes she didn’t know if she’d see them again. 

She carried that. 

Dying was never an option though sometimes she didn’t mind the thought of it. Peace and warmth were two things she’d desperately yearned and hadn’t felt fully since the womb. Then one night in the pitch black of the hot, sweaty, roach-infested studio in southeast Houston she slept in she wondered:

‘Why can’t I break the rules?’ She’d seen everyone else in her life break them like popsicle sticks. And she didn’t just want to break the rules, she wanted to break them boldly and loudly and annoyingly and honestly and sloppily like every one else gets to do. It was in that moment, tucked in a thin jacket inside of an 8-foot high instrument cubby in the inky darkness—it hit her. 

‘Is my suffering for a high purpose? Or is my suffering trying to kill me?’ 

She cried. 

She escalated. 

She took it personal. 

But it wasn’t enough. She wanted to scream in a microphone in a sea of shadowy faces. She drank whiskey and wove her pain into rock music. 

‘Music is my boyfriend’ she declared. The only man that kept his baggage to hisself. And it healed her. It gave her voice reason and purpose. 

The pebble-laden hike became lighter with time. The incline eventually evened out to flat, beautiful landscapes where the breeze finally met her back. She knew it wasn’t gonna be easy or sunshine but even the rain cleansed her and it was beautiful too. 

Somewhere in the rain she decided rules were meant to be built and broken. Like trust and love and friendships and families. Because every thing deserves the opportunity to change and grow. 

So... She broke rule number 1 on stage while singing a beautiful song. Dr. Jefferson (PhD) screamed for her to stop but she didn’t listen and the tears flowed like rivers of emotion down her cheeks. 

Rule number 2 was broken when she grew older and saw the injustices of the world. Marching with hundreds in protest she realized not everything needs to be pacified. 

And one day when she finally fell in love, she broke rule number 3. No matter how much training she’d done she couldn't help but take every thing her lover said and did personal. But it was ok. Because in all her resistance she realized breaking rules was her power. 

Melissa began to fall for her feelings. Her feelings gave life purpose. They weren’t always logical, as feelings seldom are. They were sloppy and embarrassing and rude and so fucking uncomfortable. But they were hers. And they were real. And when she sat alone sipping wine, staring at the moon…They were the only ones still by her side. Ready to break the rules for her because they loved her. 

And she finally loved them back. 

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon has one favorite piece of clothing you wear and of course when he's having a rough day, you just have to wear it for him.

Simon was all stress and tension, tight shoulders, furrowed brows, and pursed lips. He had just come back from deployment and had not fully decompressed yet, having a harder time of it this go around. Usually a day was all it took to get him to slough off the burdens of his job, yet this was day two and he was still not feeling himself. You wanted to do something to help him release all that pent up emotion, and you knew just how to do it.

Something that he just couldn't resist.

At the front of your closet you found it, his current favorite piece of clothing you owned: a flirty little floral number that he had bought last time he was in. The moment he saw that dress on you after having spotted it sitting on that rack in the store, the way it hugged your curves like it was made specifically for your body, he knew you could not go home without it.

The fabric was soft, cut incredibly short, and low cut enough in the front that it left barely anything to the imagination... exactly what you needed it to do.

You slipped it on, the only thing you slipped on, and headed back out to the living room where he sat in the oversized cushioned seat idly messing around with his hands as some show played in the background on the TV.

As you casually stepped into the room, his eyes fixated on you as you walked closer towards him, a little extra sway in your hips as you moved.

Squatting down to your knees before him with your hands splayed across his thighs for leverage, you kept his gaze locked within your own as you pushed open his legs a bit more so you could crawl between them and into his lap. You arched your back as you moved up until you were able to wrap your arms around his shoulders, your breasts pressing against his chest.

"Hi," you smiled playfully. With gentle fingertips you combed your fingernails through his scalp at the back of his head while you rocked your lower half lazily back and forth between his legs to keep your knees from getting stiff.

Those brown eyes began to sparkle back to life.just as they always did whenever you were around. "Hi back," he smirked; it was clear that you were up to something, though he didn't know what yet. "And just what do ya think you're doin', luv?"

You shook your head back and forth. "Nothing," you said, feigning innocence by diverting your eyes coyly before looking back. "Just thought I'd look nice for you is all."

You had peaked his interest and he raised a strong brow as his hands found your hips. "Is that why you have this thing on?" he asked, pulling at the fabric of your dress. "Cause you've got my attention; you know how much I fuckin' love that little thing."

"Exactly why I put it on," you smiled. "Maybe I'm trying to take all your attention, make you forget all your cares."

That one line made his cold heart skip a beat; you were always doing little things like that to please him and fucking hell did he enjoy it. Simon's hand captured your chin in its grasp suddenly and he firmly pulled your face into his so that he could press a kiss to your soft, moist, inviting lips. It was instaneous the way he melted into you, his shoulders relaxing the moment your lips met, as if everything else in the room had desolved except for you and him.

"God, you are a pretty fuckin' thing, aren't you, sweetheart?" he breathed against your mouth. "Always remindin' me how fuckin' lucky I am."

He released your chin and moved down to your back where his fingertips drug across the length of your spine down all the way to your ass and back again is slow rotations.

"Mmmm..." you hummed into his sculpted shoulder as you rested your head there while he touched you.

Shit like that made the ice he built around his heart to keep him sane during missions melt. "You like that, yeah?" he asked with a smirk as his rough hands traveled down lower until he got to the curve of your ass where he cupped it in both of his hands.

"Aren't wearing any panties?" he said with surprise as he cradled your bare bottom covered just slightly by the very edge of the dress hem before he slid his hand under the fabric to massage the bare skin. "Fuckin' hell, sweetheart."

You chuckled as his touch sent shivers up your back. "Thought maybe you'd want to play with me, if you aren't busy that is," you said against the crook of his neck before your lips connected repeatedly with the flesh there as you held the side of his head against your palm. "Why don't you let me help you unwind?"

Jesus Christ how in the hell was he supposed to say no to that? His touch became more greedy and firm in response to your offer. "You keep sayin shit like that luv," he growled, "and I might just have to fuck you until my mind is empty and your legs are numb. Come on, come 'ere."

Offering his open hand, Simon pulled you up so that he could move you into his lap so you could sit on top of those full thick thighs. Your perky breasts sitting up high in the front of the dress hit his vision, immediately making his head woozy. "This, this right here is already making me forget every fuckin' thing."

It had been a hot minute since you had been showered in his unique brand of flattery and you couldn't help the warm, red flush that flood your cheeks at his words. You turned your head, embarrassed that even after all this time you'd been together he could still make you blush.

"Don't you look away now sweetheart; you just keep looking at me with those pretty eyes. Don't gotta be shy 'round me," he purred as he guided your head back, "not when I'm about to have that pretty little dress layin' on the ground. Or maybe... shit, I'll just fuck you in it."

Again you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding him close. "Whatever you want," you said. "Use me."

Damn, you did always know the right words to say to make him come alive. "You are just too fuckin' good to me, luv," he sighed.

He was a lucky, lucky man indeed.

[leilanihours]

# SHE WAS CRYIN' ON MY SHOULDER, ALL I COULD DO WAS HOLD HER

pairing: paige bueckers x ex-gf!reader

word count: 851

warnings: arguing, crying, mentions of abandonment/past relationship

summary: you and paige both have things you need to get off your chests one year after you break up.

⭑ from lani: to that anon i told my next fic would be for kate im so sorry 😭 i was crying to this song earlier and i just needed to write paige to it - so heres my first ever angst fic i hope its not horrible 😛

masterlist !

"Y/N, YOU LEFT me, remember? you left!"

"you didn't even bother to stop me, to fight for me- for us!"

neither of you knew how this escalated so quickly. how a friendly reunion turned into a screaming match.

"it's not my job to pick up the pieces of the shit you broke! so i'm sorry if i didn't feel like working myself over for someone who had no issue leaving."

you know her apology is insincere, sarcastic. but for a split second when you hear her say "i'm sorry," your heart aches for the words you've spent the past year mourning.

"paige," you sigh, trying to calm down before you say something you don't mean, "i know it seems like it, but i did not want to leave the way i did. i didn't have a choice."

"bullshit-"

"can you just be quiet and let me talk?" you snap, immediately shutting her up, "last summer when i disappeared, it was because of my parents. they forced me to come home to them even after i told them i wanted to stay here in connecticut. i swear to you, paige, i fought for us. you didn't see it but i went through hell fighting. and i'm sorry for ending it the way i did but, paige...we were bound to end it at some point. we both knew that. i had to go home eventually."

you both had tears streaming down your faces at this point, chests heaving from not being able to breathe properly.

you stood in front of paige, slowly pacing back and forth as she sat with her arms crossed on the cold park bench absorbing your words.

the darkness of the night engulfed the atmosphere, contributing to the inevitable breaking of your once-intertwined hearts. the only light was dim from the far away lamp post, rusting away from its former beauty - similarly to how you and paige used to be a work of art together, but were now nothing more than a mess of spilled emotions and pent-up grudges.

"and i understand that, y/n, but i deserved an explanation- a goodbye, at the very least. or at least i thought i deserved that."

"don't do that," you challenge, referring to the way she degraded herself in front of you, "is that why you didn't try? to save us?"

"why else wouldn't i? i thought you hated me, i thought-" she pauses to catch her breath and wipe some of the tears that had fallen on her pink lips, "i thought you didn't care about us. as if that summer didn't mean shit to you."

"paige i-"

"no, now it's your turn to listen," she demands, pulling you to sit next to her on the bench, both of her cold hands holding yours, "i never felt so strongly about someone the way i felt about you. i couldn't imagine spending my time away from you, i mean, it literally hurt. so i took advantage of that summer, i took advantage of the little time we had together. and then when i found out you left without a word to me, it broke me. and i know you didn't see it but ask literally any of my friends. i didn't get out of bed for days in a row. i didn't eat, i didn't practice, nothing. it was like you stole the good parts of me, took it, and ran. i needed you, y/n, but you were on the other side of the country. what am i supposed to do with that?"

she's full on sobbing now, shoulders shaking as she doesn't even try to hold in her tears now. you swear you can hear cracks in your own heart and bones forming as she confesses what she went through.

you can't bear watching her suffer anymore, tightly wrapping your arms around her shaking frame. hugs like these were second nature, but this time was different. there was more meaning behind it.

your embrace acted as a shield against any future problems that were to be thrown onto your paths. your embrace acted as a glue repairing the broken pieces of your relationship that laid destroyed for the past how many days. your embrace acted as a genuine embrace.

"paige, i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry, baby, i never wanted to leave you, you have to know that. i'm so sorry," you whisper into her hair.

one of your hands stroke her head buried in your neck. you feel her tears drip onto your thin jacket, soaking you with guilt as it hits you how desperate you were to spend the rest of your life making it up to this girl.

it was clear to you that she actually did care, unlike how you thought last summer. and because of how she was crying on your shoulder, you needed to forget about that version of her you spent so long hating - the version that constantly haunted the back of your mind.

you needed to hold her. and hold her. and hold her. and never let go.

— leilani signing off ! 📁

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

[bokutosmochi]

kinktober day five: somnophilia!

ADRENALINE RUSH ♡ NANAMI KENTO

fem!reader x nanami kento

ingredients: nanami has some adrenaline he has to get rid off

what's it: smut

allergen warning/s: spit, unprotected sex, somnophilia

sugar level: 1.5k

regulars: @ventdavi154 @deobiforever @sugusshi @angelshub @eussstasss

parlor's note: can't do a kinktober without including nyanyamin!!

bon appetit!

fuck gojo, fuck that patchface curse, fuck the higher ups

those were the only thoughts that bounced around nanami's head.

it was no secret that the man hated going any minute overtime, now here he was going home at fucking ten in the evening. on top of that, because of the late hour, the things he was able to pick up from his favorite bakery were what ever was left over from the day -- though one would argue that he's lucky because said bakery was still open at the late hour. regardless, the fact remained: the pastries were no longer fresh, no longer fluffy and warm.

if it was any other day, he wouldn't have ate it on the subway ride home from work and instead saved it so he could reheat it once he's safely in the confines of his own home, but not today. he was too hungry, and quite frankly, running out of patience.

he sets down his dull blade in its rightful place by the door and tugs off the yellow patterned tie in an uncharacteristically pissed off manner. not only was he filled with negative emotions, but adrenaline from the fight he had against an unnamed, unregistered cursed spirit was still pumping in his veins. with a huff, he hangs it over his shoulder, before moving on to unbutton his blue button down shirt as he walks over to the bedroom.

this was the part of his day that he looked forward to the most. sure, it was the end of the day, but it was the part where he'd see you, hold you for more than two hours.

laid down in the large california king bed was you. thick, soft blankets tucked up to under your chin, hair he loved running his hands through fanned out around your face, and your face. you looked so angelic when you slept, so peaceful even during nights like this when he knew you weren't sleeping well because he wasn't there in the bed with you -- you confessed to him one time, you always get the best dreams, the most restful nights of sleep whenever he's there holding you.

you shifted in your sleep, turning to your other side making the blanket move further down your body. it exposed the thin shirt you were wearing; an old shirt of nanami's. the fabric was so worn down that the man could spot your nipples, hardened from the chilly autumn air, from under the shirt.

you mewled softly and it made nanami wonder what you were dreaming of; whether you were dreaming at all. aside from that, the sound also made his beige slacks tighten and he found a way to release all that pent up frustration and adrenaline from his system.

he pushes the dress pants down along with his boxers, then damn near trips trying to take his socks off and walk to you at the same time. he's just had such a rough day and needs some help from you.

a thought pushes itself into his mind the moment he crawls on top of you, one that's about morality and ethics. he's never done this before and it feels wrong to do it. second thoughts fill his mind, but he remembers the fact that you've had this discussion before. he's already asked for your permission prior. in return, you only asked one thing from him: if i had a long day, try not to wake me if you don't have or want to. and aside from that, you've always been such a nice and thoughtful girlfriend. there has never been a moment in the many years you've been together where you've lacked understanding with him. you're always so selfless, giving him whatever he wanted, so long as it's reasonable, and this is reasonable, right?

with those thoughts as a green light, he pushes the blanket away from your body, nudges you so you'd be lying on your back, and moves the crotch of your panties to the side so he can have his way with you.

always the caring boyfriend, he makes sure you're properly lubricated before he does pushes himself in. after all, he doesn't want anything bad to happen to his sweet, caring girlfriend.

getting you wet the way he usually does takes too long, and besides, he'd probably end up waking you up too, which is something you asked him not to do if he didn't have to. not to mention the fact that he always gets so into turning you on; it's what gets him aroused too. he'll get too handsy, too noisy.

it's not an option so he opts to spit on your pussy instead.

he enjoys the sight of his glob of drool dripping around your vulva for a moment before spreading it around. when he decides that you're not wet enough, he spits again and does the same thing.

the man may think that exerting minimal effort is all that's required for most of his day-to-day tasks, but that rule does not include you and it never will. he always makes sure to take care of you the way you take care of him.

when your lips are shiny with his spit, he backs away for a moment, lines the head of his cock with your slit then pushes in as softly and slowly as he could, trying his best not to jostle you.

he moans lowly as he sinks in your warm pussy. it's a sensation he can never get enough of, even if he makes love to you a million times. he adores it, the way you welcome him so easily. he only stops his motions when he was buried to the hilt, his pelvis flush against yours.

he looked down to where your bodies connected and involuntarily muttered a low shit under his breath. to him, the sight was a masterpiece that could easily top an expensive painting any day; it certainly made him feel more emotions than those.

with a deep breath sucked in through the mouth, he started moving, steadily thrusting in and out of your wet cunt. the movement was calculated, executed with maximum precision to ensure that you won't wake from your slumber.

how could you expect him to keep his composure completely under these circumstances? you're so tight, he's always said that your pussy was made for him, and he doesn't just say that to get you off; he truly means it, and then you combine your perfect pussy with your perfect face. he's a goner.

he tries to stifle his moans, tries to swallow them under his breaths, but a few still manage to escape. despite those, he continues to yearn to make this nice and quick. it's just to blow off some steam, after all.

the moment his attempts become futile comes when you stir, letting out noises that shoots blood steaming down to his already painfully hard dick, and flutter your eyes open.

when his eyes meets yours, his elbows buckle, though he's quick to straighten himself back up again; his motion was so fluid you didn't even notice it, only the slight twitch of his cock.

you yawn before acknowledging the situation. "kento?" your words are slurred due to the sleepiness that remains in your system. "what's goin' on?"

"sorry hun," he grunts, continuing to fuck you. "adrenaline rush. you can go back to sleep if you want."

you give him a hum though you didn't actually succumb to sleep. the feeling of kento's cock inside you wasn't something you could simply nap through, no matter how hard you try nor matter how hard he tries to not rouse you.

he might have thought you were asleep - you were so quiet, not making a noise other than the natural moans - if you didn't mutter an "i'm close" at the exact same moment he felt his orgasm nearing.

"i am too, hun." his movements become sloppier. he loses his rhythm to the pleasure and due to the lapse in concentration since he began to play with your clit to help you reach your high as well.

"ken," he recognizes what you need with the call of his name. one of your hands found their way to his back, currently running the nails down the hard muscle. the pain only added to nanami's delight.

"i'm right there, hun. you can let go."

the both of you come at the same time and the feeling was euphoric. despite wanting rest, you're glad you woke up.

"that was nice." you commented lamely. the word didn't sum up the experience, it was so much better than nice, but your tired brain couldn't think of anything else. apparently, nanami had the same sentiment.

"i think that's a bit of an understatement, darling. now come on and get some rest, you deserve it."

i get: reblog

you get: a california king bed with a nanami body pillow

[bbokicidal]

I cant believe im finally sending this ask because i was hypnotized by ur pfp for the last 10 mins and omgggg that virgin minho is making me really really REALLLLLY look forward to Wednesday when we get to see virgin bin 😫 HOWEVER.... im trusting u with this thought bc,, i need u to see the vision......

Virgin skz ....

Chan: absolutely admits outloud that hes a virgin and is proud abt it 💀 u gotta suck his dick behind the bleachers rq

Min: u already wrote him but hes so hooooot

Bin: coming soon 👀

I feel like hyune is the type to wait for his 'true love' and make it all sweet and soft and then the second time u have sex hes fucking like a porn star bc hes pent up 😭. Han is shy and nervous but he wont. Stop. Staring. At you like fr and its a sexy stare too gdjsjjs. I think u alr wrote virgin lix and it was 💯 fr. Virgin mong mong.... listen he acts like hes not a virgin but u know its a straight up lie bc hes shaking when u so much as brush his arm 😭. Omg and innie....confident virgin. U try to make fun of him for it and hes like "oh yeah? Well i wont be one if u just fuck me already" LIKE BOYYYY

im handing the mic over tho,, what do u thing abt virgin skz 👀 🎤

okay lots to unpack here hehe - first off, isn't my pfp so sexy? (it gets a lot less sexy when u click my profile and it says googey under it LOLOL)

second - ty for trusting me w this thought omgggg!! okay lemme write out some lil blurbs for the boys...

virgin!chan : absolutely not ashamed of it. genuinely think he would be the type to be like "yeah im a virgin, what about it" like he doesn't think its a big deal, he doesn't get why people feel ashamed or pressured into having sex at a younger age. he also doesn't really get why being labeled a virgin is a bad thing. it's just a word. (but like he will absolutely get sooooo shy when he asks you to suck his dick for the first time)

virgin!minho : just wrote it but I wanted to add that I think he hides his virginity by being so openly touchy w you like he CANNOT keep his hands off your waist honey sorry not sorry.

virgin!binnie : can't spoil anything bc I'm writing him Wednesday but I will let you in on a little secret : he's a whimperer.

virgin!hyunjin : he absolutely will wait for the one. like he genuinely wholeheartedly believes in true love and he wants to wait til he finds that person to do anything, and he's like. not ashamed of it either. he's never felt pressured to do it before or felt guilty for not being experienced. he's just excited for that day to come, whenever it comes.

virgin!jisung : I think he's such a flustered baby when it comes to you directly confronting him or calling him hot or something. like he'll be practicing choreography and you'll go "ooooh, jisuuuung~" while fanning yourself and he'll have to step out because he can't breathe from your reaction. but the staring? oh absolutely, babe. he's got a bad habit of like. sitting and staring at you while you're talking with the group. but the longer he stares, his head starts to tip down and his eyes get a bit dark, and he's staring now bc he's imagining what you look like all blushy and sweating and moaning-- (aka horny virgin)

virgin!Felix : yeah p sure I wrote this but one thing to add; I genuinely don't think you would ever be able to tell if lix is a virgin or not because he's a massive fucking loser in a sexy ass body and he's a constant flirt. he makes flirtatious jokes, winks, sticks his tongue out, body rolls, is touchy - he's literally just horny with emotion for everyone so you wouldn't even be able to tell he's never stuck his dick in anything other than his own hand.

virgin!seungmin : oh I have thoughts. I'll make it short but I think Seungmin's the type of virgin to like. not make it known that he's inexperienced but he does get a little shy when the others bring up him being a cutie and being inexperienced and yada yada. but in front of you? he's playing it cool and never bringing it up. also - yes. def the type to get a little shy and flustered any time you touch him. (do you remember that video of Hyunjin getting all shy when (can't remember who it was) the lady touched his arm and he like curled up where he was standing and was all giggly? that type of shy hehehe)

virgin!jeongin : slut. no other words needed.

[shadybiotics]

P e n t u p e m o t i o n s

× pairing: venture x reader

× words: 1700

× content: fem!reader, afab!venture, nsfw, one sided pining, venture is a little pent up lol,,, masturbation, this is mostly smut

× summary: The Wayfinders have recently taken in a new practitioner assistant under their wing, and never before has Venture bottled their emotions more.

[ A/N ] : i need venture desperate and needy but like,,, in a pathetic and embarrassing way, enjoy

It was late. The day was about to end and the dig site has become awfully quiet as everyone was already in bed.

Sloane laid on their back in their tent, arm under their head. It was silent and peaceful. Its been a long day at the dig site, they were exhausted and yet they couldn't fall asleep. As they tossed and turned trying to get some shuteye, their thoughts repeatedly trailed back to a certain someone. To you.

Its been two and a half months already since you joined the Wayfinders but Venture warmed up to you in no time. You showed genuine interest in what they were doing and always tried your best.

You were still only a practitioner assistant so you didn't exactly do much yet. You were mainly there to watch, take notes and learn but not wanting to be completely idle you kept offering your help in various ways. Venture remembered your eagerness fondly, how you kept saying that 'its no big deal' and how you can 'do it on your own'. It was cute, they thought. Thinking back on it brought a tender smile to their face. They sighed.

There was one instance where some crates and boxes needed moving. Venture took a break from their own work and was about to get to it, before your hands suddenly clasped the edges of the crate as you leaned over it. "I got it" you said with confidence.

You didn't really look like someone who had a lot of experience with heavy lifting, not to Venture you didn't at least. They feared they would feel guilty if they let you lift these boxes all on your own, before their eyes started drifting that is. As you leaned over the crate your top hung loosely, giving them a comfortable peek at your chest from where they stood. Venture ogled with their brows slightly raised. The idea of letting you do it instead didn't seem so bad anymore.

"Uh sure, go ahead" Venture complied running their hand through their sweat damped hair, you grinned. With a huff you leaned down further, your top drooping even lower, unknowingly to you, and showing more of your breasts. Even the lace of your bra now clearly visible. Venture just stood there frozen and staring, their eyes watched intensely when your arms squeezed your chest together as you lifted the wooden box with yet another huff. Their wide eyes met yours as you smiled and walked away, visibly struggling but not giving up. Their cheeks rapidly darkened as they finally caught themselves staring. Damn.

Remembering these moments made their head swoon all over again, their breath getting heavier with each passing moment.

Frustrated, with one hand they reached up and rubbed their face, trying to rub those fantasies out of their mind. Their attempt pointless. With a tense face and brows tightly knit their hand slithered down, down... down slowly, soon reaching the waistband of their pants. Their eyes relaxed closed. Without thought and with a smooth flick of a finger Sloane undid one button. And then another.

There was also another time, when you and Venture sat closely arm to arm. Notepad and pen in your hand as Venture expressively explained the proper way to restore different items and trinkets that you would inevitably, hopefully, find. How to tell their age, how to look out for signs of damage or decay, and how to then handle such fragile findings.

You listened carefully as you noted their advice, asking a few questions here and there. You were so focused on your note taking that you didn't even realize how you pursed your lips slightly to the side or how cute you looked when you swooped loose hair strands away from your face.

"God...", Venture cursed themselves. They wished you knew what you were doing to them. They wished you knew how adorable and alluring you were, how you always managed to make their day ten times better with your witty words and honest smile. They sighed. That smile... and those lips... "...This is just awful".

Ventures hand kept going lower.

They imagined how it would feel to bite your lip, to lightly trace their teeth on your neck. They imagined themselves finally getting to roughly tug that damn top of yours down and fully seeing what was underneath. Their large calloused hands hungrily feeling your body, grabbing and squeezing anywhere, everywhere...

Before Venture knew it, their hand was down their trousers. Thick fingers slowly but firmly traced continuous small circles. Their heartbeat quickened. Sloane licked their lips before they let out a shaky breath they weren't aware they were holding.

They wondered if you liked getting your hair pulled, hell, they would love to give it a try. Their large hands wrapping themselves in your lovely hair and tugging at your scalp, lightly at first, hoping to hear some delicious sounds leave your mouth as you arched into them. Pushing you further and further, seeing how much you can take. How rough they could get before you couldn't take any more.

Venture was almost panting now.

They have become so pent up over these few weeks and they needed this badly. They needed you badly and they hates how you weren't the one touching them right now. They despised how all they had to rely on right now to release some of these frustrations was their own hand.

More flustered now, their other hand gripped the bedding of their tent tightly, the knot inside growing tighter rapidly.

They wanted to know how to work you right. They wanted to learn the curves of your body, learn how to please you. They wanted to please you.

Their hips involuntarily bucked into their hand again and again, breathy moans and grunts leaving their lips as they thought about bending and stretching you to their will, shoving their fingers in your mouth... down your slit. Would you lick them? Maybe suck on them? Or bite them playfully, they wondered. Their fingers worked faster now, harder.

"Ah... ah..." Sloane moaned louder now. They sucked in a breath through gritted teeth as they imagined your hands playing with their body. How lovely your hands would feel as they slowly traced Sloanes jaw, then neck, then chest. Clawing there just enough to leave light marks where your nails previously scratched.

They were so close now. Muscles beginning to spasm. Head tossing and turning.

God, they would love to be marked by you. Just the thought of you leaving little scars on their flushed skin as you grind onto their fingers -no their strap -no their mouth, they couldn't even decide. Mind all too fuzzy.

Grunts and groans escaped their mouth when they thought of how pretty your eyes would look when looking down at them as they ate you out. Your eyes glossy with tears from overstimulation as they made you see stars over and over, lapping you up with their skilled tongue. Your thighs bruised from their secure grip as their tongue flicked your clit with precision.

Fuck. Even when you did little to nothing you drove them crazy. A memory of you sitting on one of the crates you just got done moving flashed before Sloanes eyes. Your shirt uncomfortably sticky with sweat, your chest heaving in exhaustion, lips slightly parted and a bead of sweat rolling down your forehead. A book in your hand used to fan yourself.

Venture wished they could get you to such a state. Make you sweat. Make you feel exhausted. Be the cause of your chest rising and falling rapidly.

Venture was so close now. Their fingers were getting sloppier and the rhythm of their hips shaky. They were almost there. They chocked out a repressed moan and hissed in pleasure, their hand circling even faster. They were about to-

" Pssst... "

A whisper ripped through the thin fabric of Ventures tent unannounced and jarringly yanked Sloane out of their sweet, sweet trance. In a panic, followed by cold sweat and a heaving chest, they hastily jolted up. Eyes wide darting everywhere trying to find the source of the sound.

"Vent- Sloane?" You corrected yourself "You sound like you're in pain... are you alright?" you questioned with a soft tone, your voice quiet and clearly concerned.

The realization of what was happening suddenly dawned on them.

Completely lost in their fantasies, Sloane was being way too loud for their own safety. Were they so loud that they have accidentally awoken you?! Or did you just happen to walk by?? Possibly on a late night walk and overheard them as you passed by?!? Their mind panicked even more as it came down from the previous high.

Their face quickly darkened in embarrassment before they tried coughing up some explanation. But still in shock, they couldn't think of anything.

Thankfully you didn't seem to get the right idea of what was really going on here.

"Y-y-yeah. . . yeah im fine" They replied shakily, still out of breath.

"Are you sure you aren't hurt? Do you want me to look you over?" Venture eyes widened as they heard you take a step closer to their tent, now horrified you might pull the zipper next and have to see them in this humiliating state. Their mind was screaming at them. They waved their hands frantically in front of them, as if that was going to be of any help to stop you from moving any closer.

"Nonono! Im sooooo good! I just uh..." they paused thinking "I scraped my arm on.. something, earlier! Today! Im tooootally coolio though!" they chuckled. Nervousness clear as day in their voice.

There was a moment of silence, an awfully tense and uncomfortable silence.

Venture could almost choke on their heartbeat because of how hard their heart was pounding in their throat.

"Alright then, if you say so, good night Sloane" you replied warmly as your footsteps slowly grew more distant.

When your footsteps could no longer be heard Venture flopped back down onto their back and groaned, scolding themselves mentally as one arm covered their face. If they could they would scream right about now.

Great... this is just... great.

[idontknowulol]

Choi San x Reader

Summary- You get upset because San has barely given you any attention.

Warnings- fluff and swearing

You sat alone in the living room for the fifth time this week, your Friday evening spent alone waiting for your husband to come home, San has been extremely busy with the group as tour is coming up so he has more practice than usual, this included really early starts, and late finishes which meant that you had barely seen him all week as you were not the earliest riser, all you had gotten was a few check up messages on you throughout the day, a hug from him when he got home and then he would have dinner and go straight to sleep. To say this was frustrating was a understatement, you didn't want to annoy San as he does have a lot of work to do, but the selfish part of you was craving his attention as you were missing your husband.

Half an hour passed and you heard the front door open and your husband's tired looking frame filled the living room door. "Hi baby" San says walking over to you to wrap his hands around your waist gently. " Hi San" you say softly your body naturally melting into him. " I have missed you all day" San says burying his face into your neck. you sigh quietly in content, gosh you just wish he had been like this a bit more this week. " me too baby" you say quietly. After a few moments San lets you go and turns you around to face him, " babe, i'm really exhausted, I know you probably left me some dinner, is it okay if I eat it tomorrow? I would really like to take a shower and just head straight to sleep." San states, your heart instantly drops sadly at his words, this isn't the first time you have heard this this week but you still felt disappointed, he was extremely affectionate with you just now for the first time this week so you thought maybe he would want to spend some time with you. " yeah, I will, its fine" you say quietly, so you can hide the sadness in your voice. San gaze fills yours as he reads your sudden change in tone, but he decides to just let it go. “ Thank you, night” San says giving you one last hug before heading up the stairs. As soon as you heard the bathroom door shut you don’t know why but your burst into tears. All the pent up frustration from the week had finally gotten to you, you were trying to be understanding for San, but it was hard you were feeling really alone at the moment, all your friends were on work trips or out the country and your husband didn’t even have any time for you.

Tears continued to silently fall down your face but it got to point where you were tired of crying so decided to suck it up,eventually you sniffles subsided and you decided to drink a glass of water and get yourself ready for bed. As you were getting ready for bed, you started overthinking about the entire situation and got a bit emotional again, to try and stop crying you snuck into bed next to San quietly, and used the blankets to hide your sniffles so you didn’t wake him up. Unfortunately it didn’t work.

“Y/N? Is that you?”San calls out in a hoarse voice.Shit, you didn’t mean to wake him up you didn’t want him to know about this, you know how exhausted he is.You instantly froze not wanting San to know how wide awake you actually were, however because of how long you and San have been together he could read your body language like a open book. “I know your awake” he says gently. “San” I say quietly. “ Y/N what’s wrong?” He says instantly recognising the tone in my voice. “N-othing I just watched a sad movie” I say lying straight through my teeth, I don’t even know why I tried to lie, as San clearly doesn’t believe me at all, I can tell by the the painful silence I get in response. A few moments later I feel San sitting up, the warmth around my body is no longer and I feel the blanket getting pulled of my body making me yell in protest,at the sudden temperature change.San picks me up and places me on him, he covers the bottom half of our body and recovers the blanket over me ,he then rests his hands on my waist.

“San, what the fuck?,I was trying to sleep” I say slapping his chest. San doesn’t say anything but stares at me wet face intently which answers his suspicions without me even having to say anything,eventually this makes me feel embarrassed,causing me to blush and look away, knowing that he knows I was lying. “what” I say feeling overwhelmed by his intense gaze “Liar” is all he says after a while. “ liar? but the movie was reall-” San cuts me off “ don’t chat shit Y/N, I was watching you for a bit before I said anything your not sad because of a movie, I know you too well, your actually upset about something”San says his eyes gazing calmly into yours. This time it’s your turn not to answer as at this point he knows your upset. “Do you want to tell me what really is bothering you?” San says caressing my waist gently. “San” I say my voice slightly cracking, finally giving into how I feel. San’s face instantly softens at my tone. “Baby” he whispers softly as he removes one of his hands from my waist and places it on my cheek, caressing it with such care. A tear leaks slowly from my eye and San catches it with his finger. “ I miss you so much San okay?” I say in a shaky tone. San looks at me confusion filling his eyes. “all week, all fucking week San, all I wanted to do was spend time with you, if it wasn’t that you busy with work, it was a meeting, if it wasn’t a meeting, it was dance practice, if it wasn’t that it was a dinner meeting with the boys, I tried to be really understanding San I really fucking did, but I wanted to spend time with you, I know you have a busy schedule and I get that I really do, but it’s like this week I have been at the bottom of your schedule, you haven’t kissed me once this week, and we have have barely communicated other than good nights and good mornings, when was the last time you gave me a rundown of your day? Asked each other how we were feeling? Ate together?I feel like maybe you just want space from me-and that I am pestering you if I say anything,I just have never felt so isolated and alone.” You exclaim as tears are overflowing down your cheeks as you finally speak your mind.” Guilt instantly flows through San at the sight of you upset, he hates to see you upset and knowing that he is the cause, without even realising what he was doing,makes him pissed with himself. He was prying at you for answers and now he gets why you didn’t give any, you didn’t want to make him feel bad.

“Fuck, y/n I’m so sorry” San says pulling you into a hug, and you instantly hug him back. He puts a strand of your hair behind your hair and replaces his hand on your face. “ I never ever meant to make you feel like you aren’t my no.1 priority baby, you are the most important thing to me regardless of anyone and anything, I have gotten ahead of myself as I wanted to perfect everything before tour so I put together a schedule and overworked myself, I mean fuck that schedule, especially because it has made you feel like I don’t value you, when baby, I value you more than anything. Even the days when I’m too sad or angry to speak, you being here with me puts me at ease as I am blessed to be loved by you in way that nobody else is, and not just by anyone.” San states in a serious tone. “Your my favourite person y/n and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you are not, I l could tell you I love you in so many different ways and I still wouldn’t be able to show how grateful I am for you, please don’t ever forget that” he silently pleads. Fresh tears roll down my face at his words. “I love you so much” I say. “ I love you so much” San leans in to kiss one of my fresh tears to stop it from falling softly, which makes my heart stop for a second at the intimacy of it.San pulls me back into him and massages my back gently, and we sit in a comfortable silence. “Baby” San says out of nowhere. “ yes” I reply. “ promise me you won’t hide how your feeling from me anymore?I need to do better for you” I smile and kiss his cheek at his words . “Promise” I say smiling softly. San smiles. And leans in to kiss me, San gives me a deep passionate kiss, that slowly turns into a make out, until he breaks off “you need sleep y/n” San says whispering, his voice still slightly husky from sleep. “ okay hypocrite so do you, you have done way more than me today” I saying squinting my eyes. “Okay okay, let’s both go to bed” I climb off San and he lies down and so do I, as soon as I do he instantly pulls me into him, leaving a soft kiss on my head. Not long after that we both fall asleep.

The following day:

“Hello?” I say into my phone. “Baby are you here yet? I’m hungry, and I haven’t eaten all day and we can’t eat til you get here” San says in a disappointed tone. I laugh loudly at the sadness and clear hunger from his tone.“ look out the window” I say in between laughter. San instantly turns around and I see him and all the Ateez members wave at me. Which makes me instantly wave back. Even though San was busy today,he insisted on making a new schedule which included me. And let’s just say that makes me smile a little too hard.

[v3nusstardust]

🎀”Could you hold me through the night? Put your lips all over my salty face when I start crying.”🎀

LOWKEY BASED OFF THAT ONE LINE IN HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEARTS BY MELANIE MARTINEZ AYEEEE

Pairing : Niki Nishimura x reader🎀

Genre : Fluff🤍

Summary : You were dealing with sleep issues and major depression but didn't tell your busy boyfriend, Niki. When he finally had a day off from his extremely busy schedule, he decided to spend it with you.

WARNINGS : mentions of not eating and depression

•

•

As you and your boyfriend strolled hand in hand through the busy mall, it was way quieter than usual. Niki, your boyfriend, noticed you were walking a bit slower and not really saying much.

Usually you were always talking about recent things that happened or just anything really, but the silence between you both was agonizing. Niki gently squeezed your hand, concern etched across his face. "Y/n, you seem really off. Is something bothering you?" he asked, his eyes searching yours. You sighed, feeling the weight of exhaustion and emotions. “Nope. Perfectly fine." The lack of sleep, with only an hour in the past day, had left its mark on both your physical and emotional well-being. A warm smile crossed Niki's face as he suggested, "Okay. What do you want to check out first?"

"Whatever…" you bluntly replied, your mind preoccupied with the internal struggle you were facing.

“Alright, let’s get some food then.” Niki responded.

You found a spot to sit in the food court. The aroma of fresh food flooded your nose. “What do you want to eat ,love?” Niki asked with a gentle expression. “I’m okay. I ate before you picked me up.” You lied. It had actually been a day since you ate. “Aw, what? But it’s so fun when we eat together y/n. We always have memorable moments.”Niki spoke softly. You shrugged your shoulders, “I’m just not hungry right now.”

“Oh, okay. We can go somewhere else. What's that store you wanted to check out?" Niki asked, trying to recall. You hesitated and finally said, "Can you just take me home?" Avoiding his gaze, you feared his reaction. Niki gently held your hands, his eyes softening. "I thought you loved shopping, which was why I proposed we come here on my day off.” He rubbed his thumb over your hands. His caring words resonated with you, but you didn't want to burden him. "Okay. Let's go home then. Maybe we can talk about it," he suggested, his warmth persistent.

Truth be told, you didn't want to talk about it. You knew it would worry him, and you didn't want him to miss important practices.

"Can you just drop me off? I need some time alone," you requested, meeting Niki's gaze. Concern crept into his tone as he asked, "Is however you're feeling my fault?"

You reassured him, "No, not at all. I just don't feel like doing anything today." A heavy sigh escaped your lips. Niki's worry lingered, "Alright. I'll take you home then." The car ride back was silent. The only sound was the light rain hitting the windows. You avoided looking at him the entire time.

Upon arriving home, he stepped out of the car with you. "Come here," he gently urged. You walked over, and his arms enveloped your body in a warm, comforting embrace. The light drizzle outside added a soothing touch to the moment. "I'll give you as much time alone as you need. Text me if you need anything," he said, pressing a soft peck to your forehead before letting you retreat into the comfort of your home.

As you stepped inside, the floodgates of emotion burst open, and sobs wracked your body. You had held back your tears the entire time, not wanting to burden your caring boyfriend. The realization of how he had been nothing but gentle and understanding intensified your guilt – it felt like you were treating him like garbage.

After letting out the pent-up emotions, you gathered yourself and headed to the living room. Determined to distract your mind, you sat down to finish up some college work.

You intentionally avoided checking your phone, aware of Niki's concerns, and not wanting to add to his worry. Focusing on your assignments, you dedicated about 5 hours to your work. Once you completed your tasks, you decided to take a shower. The warm water cascaded, soothing your nerves, and for a brief moment, you found a sense of peace.

Following your shower, you slipped into an oversized tee paired with adorable Hello Kitty pajama shorts. As you settled into bed, the room basked in a gentle glow from your small TV. However, overthinking took hold, and tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. The weight of your tired eyes intensified the pain of crying, and for a moment, you found yourself dissociating.

•

•

In the midst of your sob session, there was an unexpected knock on the door. Startled, you wiped away the tears. You lived in a pretty scary neighborhood and you assumed it could be anyone. You cautiously peaked out the window and realized it was your loving boyfriend Niki. You cautiously unlocked the door, worried of what he would say. Maybe he came to break up with you.

As you opened the door, a sight greeted you – Niki, drenched from the rain. "Sorry for pulling up unexpectedly. I was worried about you," he admitted with a nervous chuckle. In one hand, he held a bouquet of roses, and in the other, a bag full of snacks. Niki's presence in your doorway was like a breath of fresh air. His eyes locked onto your puffy red eyes, and his face swiftly transitioned into a concerned expression. "Have you been crying?" he asked, genuine worry evident in his voice. Without waiting for an answer, he let himself in, placing the roses and snacks on the table. His gaze softened as he approached you. He took off his damp hoodie and quickly wrapped his arms around you. "I brought your favorites. Thought we could just hang out, talk, or not talk—whatever you need," Niki offered. Feeling a mix of emotions, You began to cry again. You cried into his shoulder, probably getting tears and snot all over him. His hand caressed your hair. He peppered gentle kisses on the top of your head. “You can talk to me about it when you’re ready.” He said, stroking the back of your hair.

"Have you eaten?" Niki asked, concern evident in his eyes. You shook your head no. "Okay, well, I know it's not a proper meal, but I brought you some snacks, so eat up, Y/n," he said with a warm smile, handing you the bag of snacks. "I'm... not really hungry," you admitted with a sigh.

"Come here. Sit next to me," he invited, taking a seat at your kitchen table. "Okay, which one do you want to try first? I brought chocolate and strawberry Pocky," he said, grabbing the boxes of snacks. "Niki, I don't..." you began, but he interrupted .

“Don't. Give me that. I know you, Y/n. I'm gonna feed you," he insisted with a teasing smile. "Oh, okay, then. Strawberry, please," you smiled, letting him take care of you in this simple, comforting way.

After sharing snacks, You and Niki were now laying in your bed together. Limbs tangled together and wrapped in his embrace. The weight on your shoulders began to decrease. “Your hair smells good.” he giggled, and you couldn't resist smiling at the adorable scrunch of his nose when he laughed.

In the quiet intimacy, you found the courage to share your struggles. "The reason I was acting so weird lately is because I've been super depressed," you confessed , breaking the silence. "I haven't felt like myself in a while. I just... didn't want to tell you because I know how worried you get. I didn't want to be a burden on you,".

Niki's gaze softened, a warm and gentle look in his eyes. His hand reached up to cup your face, and his thumb caressed your lips. "Darling, you would never be a burden on me. No matter what you go through, I want you to tell me. You worried me this week," he reassured, his sincerity echoing in the dimly lit room. “Our texts were getting shorter and so were our calls. It scared me.” Niki’s eyes began to get watery.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, the hurt evident in your voice. Niki gently interrupted, "Everything's going to be okay now. I'm here. Tell me everything." He placed a comforting kiss on your lips, and his words continued like a soothing melody. "You're such a strong, beautiful girl. How did I get so lucky?" he said, showering kisses on your cheeks.

The warmth of your boyfriend enveloped you, inducing a sense of drowsiness. “Niki I haven’t been able to get a proper sleep for about a week now, but just being here with you is making me so sleepy.” You chuckled, a yawn escaping your lips. “Okay. I’ll be here all tomorrow then too. Go to sleep , mkay love? I’ll hold you all night and make sure you’re safe.” He placed a small kiss to the bridge of your nose.

You were finally able to drift into a peaceful slumber.

(A/n : I have to go to school today oh hell no💀 time to interact with oversized rats all day 👎lmk if u fw this tho🎀🎀 I love y’all Fr !!! y’all hype my stuff up and it makes my whole week 😘😘😘)

[tinytinyblogs]

Are you defying me, darling?

The more you distance yourself, the closer they might become. Take it slow if you're unsure.

⚠️ yandere theme, unhealthy obsession, and a lot more⚠️

Hyung line, Maknae line

stray kids masterlist

Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨

Han

The words tore out of you, a torrent of pent-up frustration. You screamed at Han, demanding he just leave you alone. The air crackled with the raw emotion, and for a horrifying moment, he did freeze. His eyes, usually holding a gentle warmth, were wide and vacant, a reflection of the shattered world you hadn't meant to create. Here's the thing: Han craved control. He wasn't some villain, not in the traditional sense. He just wanted his perfect world, one where everything unfolded like a meticulously planned story with a happily-ever-after starring you both. But your outburst, that desperate plea for space, had ripped a hole in the tapestry of his delusion. This wasn't part of the script. The unease that had always simmered beneath the surface, a constant low hum whenever things deviated from his ideal, flared into a roaring inferno. He spent the night tossing and turning, the echo of your words carving a canyon in his sanity. He couldn't lose you. He wouldn't. But to keep you, he concluded, the "soft" Han wouldn't suffice. The next day, the man who stood before you was a chilling stranger. The gentle affection in his eyes was replaced by a steely glint.

He wasn't asking anymore. Demands, laced with a terrifying desperation, spilled from his lips. He became a constant, suffocating presence. He wouldn't let you out of his sight, wouldn't tolerate an argument, wouldn't even acknowledge the dawning fear in your eyes. This wasn't the love you craved, it was a twisted obsession, a warped interpretation of your outburst as a sign of weakness, a need for him to become the 'monster' he believed he needed to be to keep you by his side. His voice dropped to a sinister whisper as he stared into your eyes, a predator sizing up its prey. "Look at me, darling," he commanded, the term dripping with mockery. He paused, letting the silence tighten its grip around you. "This whole charade? It's under my control. You have no say in it." His hand reached up, a single finger gently tracing your jawline, sending a jolt of fear through you. "Don't even think about defying me again. Leaving isn't an option. Ever. Get that through that pretty little head of yours. Now." His voice hardened with a barely contained rage. "Because next time, darling, the scream will stay trapped inside."

Felix

He sighed, a sound that seemed to scrape against your nerves. "Look," he started, his voice deceptively calm, "I might have let the first thing slide. Maybe even the second. But this? This is pushing it, love." A thin smile played on his lips, but it never reached his eyes. They remained cold, devoid of the warmth you were used to. Disappointment gnawed at you. You'd always thought him different, the one person you could rely on to be gentle, understanding. Now, faced with his steely gaze and the way he kept inching closer, you realized how wrong you'd been. "Being the good guy all the time," he continued, his voice low and dangerous, "it gets old, doesn't it?" He stopped just a hair's breadth away, towering over you. Your back hit the wall with a thud, the trapped feeling mirroring the growing panic in your chest. "Especially," he leaned in further, his breath hot against your ear, "when the person you're being good for doesn't seem to appreciate it." A single finger grazed your cheek, sending shivers down your spine. "You made a mistake, love," he murmured, his voice a silken threat. "Let's hope you learn from it."

Looking into his eyes, you saw a storm brewing within. A storm you never knew existed, a monster you never wanted to see unleashed. Tears welled in your eyes, blurring the terrifying image before you. You'd never seen him like this – his voice, usually warm and melodic, was a low growl, his hands, normally gentle, were clenched into fists. This wasn't the Felix you knew. This was a stranger, fueled by a rage so potent, it choked the air from the room. The weight of your mistake settled on your shoulders like a physical burden. You hadn't meant to push him, to awaken this monstrous side. But the damage was done. His anger, a white-hot inferno, was directed solely at you. His words, usually laced with playful teasing, became barbed weapons. He lashed out, not physically, but his every utterance felt like a blow, tearing down the foundation of your trust. He paced the room, a caged animal seeking an escape that wasn't there. Each movement seemed to shake the room, each breath a gust of wind that threatened to extinguish the fragile flame of hope flickering within you. The lingering ache of bruises, the sting of dried tears - these were the haunting echoes of a moment you swore to never relieve.

Seungmin

The air crackled with a sudden tension you hadn't anticipated. A single, sharp laugh escaped Seungmin's lips, devoid of any humor. "No," he spat, his voice laced with ice. "Don't even think about it." The playful glint in his eyes had vanished, replaced by a cold fury that sent shivers down your spine. How dare you? You, his darling, to utter such a word – 'leave'? The audacity of it burned in his gaze. Respect was paramount to Seungmin, and your flippant demand was a blatant insult. "Jerk?" he echoed, the word dripping with dangerous venom. "That's a cute term for someone who forgets their place." He took a menacing step closer, his towering frame casting a dark shadow over you. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, darling." His voice dipped to a low growl, sending a primal jolt of fear through you. "There are things I can do," he continued, his words slow and deliberate, "things you wouldn't even dare to imagine. And you, my love," he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear, "will learn exactly what happens when you disrespect me." A cruel smile played on his lips, a terrifying reminder of the power he held over you. This wasn't the Seungmin you knew, the charming and attentive boyfriend.

This was a predator, baring his fangs, and you were caught firmly in his sights. The playful facade had shattered, revealing a darkness you could only begin to comprehend. Suddenly, he tilted his head, a gesture that sent a fresh wave of panic through you. "Perhaps," he began, his voice low and silken, "a little reminder is in order." He took another step closer, the space between you shrinking with each calculated move. Your back hit the wall with a thud, the trapped feeling mirroring the growing terror in your chest. He reached out, a single finger tracing the delicate skin of your wrist. "Let's see," he murmured, his voice sending shivers down your spine, "how long it takes you to change your tune once you understand the consequences." A sharp sting echoed through the room as his fingernail dug into your flesh, drawing a gasp and a tear. It wasn't the pain, though it was agonizing, that made you flinch. It was the cold emptiness in his eyes, devoid of the love or concern you were used to. This single, calculated act shattered your resistance. Tears streamed down your face, hot and uncontrolled. "Seungmin, please," you choked out, your voice thick with fear and regret. "I didn't mean it, I..." His finger remained in place, a cruel smile playing on his lips. "Didn't mean what, darling?" he taunted, tilting his head to listen. "Speak clearly. I wouldn't want any misunderstandings."

Jeongin

Jeongin wasn't known for his temper, but the way his smile stretched a little too wide, a little too manic, sent a jolt of terror through you. You'd never seen him like this – his eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, now held a glint of chilling obsession. "Obsessed?" he echoed your words, his voice a sickeningly sweet drawl. "Perhaps that's a bit dramatic, wouldn't you say?" He took a menacing step closer, the air around him crackling with a dark energy you'd never felt before. "But let's get one thing straight," he continued, his voice dropping to a low growl. "That little outburst of yours? It wasn't cute. Not. One. Bit." He circled you like a predator stalking its prey, his smile morphing into a grotesque parody of amusement. "You see, darling," he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear, "I find your defiance… intriguing. A challenge, even." A dangerous glint flickered in his eyes. "You think you can scream at me, tell me what to do? Think again." He straightened, his smile widening as he threw his head back and let out a chilling laugh. The sound echoed through the room, devoid of any warmth or joy, sending shivers down your spine. "This," he gestured around wildly, "isn't ending, sweetheart. This is just the beginning."

Jeongin straightened fully, the manic glint in his eyes replaced by a chilling calmness. His hand dipped into his pocket, emerging with a glint of silver – a small pocket knife, its blade catching the light with a predatory gleam. The playful facade had vanished completely. In its place stood a stranger, a predator with a dangerous glint in his eye. The air grew thick with a suffocating silence, broken only by the shallow rasp of your breath. "Since you seem to have forgotten your place," he said, his voice devoid of emotion, a chilling monotone that sent shivers down your spine, "perhaps a little reminder is in order." He took another deliberate step closer, the knife held loosely in his hand, the tip pointed demonstratively at the floor. You backed away instinctively, the wall stopping your retreat. Jeongin didn't seem fazed. He circled you slowly, the knife a constant, menacing presence. His gaze flickered from your face down to your trembling hands, a cruel smile playing on his lips. "You will learn," he continued, his voice low and menacing, "exactly what happens when you defy me." The playful pet names and teasing had been replaced by a cold, calculated cruelty. This wasn't the Jeongin you knew, the playful boy who made you laugh. This was a monster you'd unwittingly unleashed with your harsh words.

[anachilles]

i just love the thought of buck absolutely mcfuckin’ losing it.

in lust? in anger? in any other display of pure emotion? a combination of all three, as a little treat? who knows!

so stoic, so buttoned up, so perfectly in control of himself. every move and every word thought about, because what good has acting or speaking rashly or panicking ever done him? anyone, for that matter?

it’s a mask, though. a coping strategy, trauma response, whatever you want to call it. still himself, technically, but a perfectly manufactured shroud for every other part of himself to hide beneath. because still waters run deep.

so he buries and represses and bottles it all up in the base of his chest, grits his teeth, and carries on. turns the valve sometimes when the pressure’s mounting and lets a little slip out, but never enough to fully relieve it.

during and after the war though, that takes its toll. which is why bucky pushes and prods and provokes him when he can see plain as day the pent up feeling is starting to eat away at him. a biting joke here, a pointed but unprovoked question there. not letting up when he’s shirked off, because buck needs that.

the other men - boys, some of them - revere him. bucky doesn’t. well, he does. in his own way. reveres him in the cut of his mouth as it drags along the dip in his collarbone, the line of his hip, or the crease of his thigh. but he reveres all that of gale, his gale, the man, rather than the great and hallowed major ‘buck’ cleven.

so, when the other man so clearly needs it (and even sometimes when he doesn’t really, but bucky’s also a little shit) he pushes and prods and provokes when it’s needed. and sometimes buck just… loses it. and releases all that pressure like a soda bottle that bucky’s just taken, shaken up, then ripped the lid off.

you can treat someone lovingly without handling ‘em with kid gloves.

raw emotion, heated words, scrabbling hands, his distinctive western rasp almost a growl, teeth sometimes.

and bucky loves it.

[slayfics]

Illumi visits you as Hisoka.

670 words

The clouds were grey and promised rain soon to fall. Occasional lightning strikes would light up the sky and in turn your room. The last flash was followed by a loud rumble of thunder, leading you to jump and turn your attention outside.

A figure stood outside on your balcony as if appearing with the flash of lightning. One look at the silhouette and you knew it was Hisoka.

It was common for the hunter to appear on your balcony after being pent up from a recent fight that excited him and using you to release his frustration. This, however, was the quickest he had come back to visit.

"Visiting again so soon? You were just here last night," you commented. Yet, the hunter remained silent.

You cocked your head to the side in confusion at his silence. Slowly you stalked over to him, "What's the matter? Did you miss me already?" you teased, sure to get a response from him.

But again, Hisoka remained silent. Arms at his sides in balled-up fists.

"It's not like you to be so quiet," you said, moving closer to him still. While he stayed silent, Hisoka' watched you carefully as if memorizing every move.

Nearly pressed against him now, you ran your finger under his chin seductively, "You must be more pent up than I thought, do you need some help?" you cooed, pressing a suggestive kiss to his cheek before moving down his jaw-line finding your way to his neck.

That's when your lips felt a strange sensation, causing you to pull away in alarm. Hisoka's skin began to change, face morphing into someone else. Before finally transforming back to its true form, Illumi Zoldyck.

"Illumi!" You cried out in shock.

"So that's how you treat him," he mused, ignoring your shock.

You blinked at him astonished by his actions. Illumi had been coming to visit you more often himself. He would show up after completing assassin jobs, before returning home to Kukuroo Moutain. Now it was becoming increasingly obvious he was starting to develop feelings for you.

"Jealousy is kind of cute on you," you giggled.

"Jealousy?" Illumi asked, looking at you blankly.

"Oh, don't be in denial. Showing up here posed as Hisoka to see how I'd react to him. You're jealous of him," you stated plainly.

Illumi averted his gaze from you, trying to hide his own emotions. He couldn't think of a time he had ever been jealous in his life. Yet, he knew your words were true. Why else would he go out of his way to trick you? Not to mention the pit that formed in his stomach when you moved to kiss Hisoka. Thinking you preferred the clown over him felt like death. Even still, he had to try not to care about you. Assassins have no place for something as mundane as relationships and feelings.

"Hey," you called out to him. "Don't look so brokenhearted. Don't you know I get just as excited to see you as I do Hisoka?"

Your words ignited the flame that Illumi was desperately trying to snuff out. If you reciprocated his feelings, he knew it was hopeless trying to deny his growing feelings for you. His eyes had no choice but to lock with yours, testing the truth of your words.

"Oh? Do you really?" he asked.

You nodded, "Here, feel," you said grabbing his hand. Gently you guided his hand to rest on your chest. "Feel how fast my heartbeat is? It's always like this when you come to see me," you explained.

Your words and his hand resting atop your chest caused his cheeks to turn a bright scarlet. You were soft and warm, and the precious way you looked at him waiting for his response broke down his defenses.

"Come on, it's cold out here and it's about to start pouring. Come inside, I'll take care of you," you offered. Pulling his hand off your chest and leading him inside.

An offer he couldn't refuse.

sinners: @unofficialsapphire @illumiiiz @hyperiondickrider @mintsbubbletea

[penguwastaken]

"DR3 makes the Remnants of Despair blameless"

This is a statement I've heard many times before, and I think it's one that's both technically correct and also technically incorrect.

But overall, I think this is a statement that kind of ignores the nuance of what the "brainwashing" actually did or even the themes of the series. Because of that, I decided to make this post to clear up some confusion about this subject and explain my thoughts on it.

What the "brainwashing" actually is

For starters, no, brainwashing in Danganronpa does not turn them into mindless zombies and get rid of their "free will." I wrote an entire post about brainwashing on its own and the many misconceptions abut it. While there are some things I'd change or update now, I think overall it's pretty solid. The main reason I'm making this post though is to fill in a piece that I should have filled in then. But if you understandably don't want to read that massive post right now, I'll go over it again here.

The way the Despair video works in both Danganronpa Zero and Danganronpa 3 is that it uses subliminal messaging to strengthen the emotions that you are already feeling by watching the video. It does not "create despair," it amplifies it.

"'She just wanted to stir up the pent-up emotions of the Reserve Course. She got the Ultimate Hope involved in the whole thing for that sole reason, and then incited them all… No, it wasn't something simple like incitement… it was brainwashing.' 'Brainwashing…' Pain, along with violent itching, brought up that scene in my mind. The monitor's visuals I had seen beyond the Monokuma Heads in the underground facility. Crushing heads, cut-up faces, agonizing screams, the Mutual Killing's red lumps of flesh." -Referring to the despair video Ryoko watched in Danganronpa Zero

Notice how the phrases "incited" and "pent-up emotions" are used. Once again, this is because the subliminal messaging doesn't make you feel things, it amplifies what the video itself makes you feel.

This doesn't contradict Ryota's description of brainwashing, note how he describes it as "influencing" the viewer's brain, not controlling it.

This is also why I put brainwashing in quotes earlier, because Ryota says it's not just brainwashing, brainwashing techniques are just a part of it.

This is the whole reason why Junko needed to kill Chiaki in the first place, she needed a video that would make them emotional enough for brainwashing to have an actual substantial effect. If she just used the student council killing video, there's a chance they'd be able to resist it like Chisa or Ryoko did.

All the despair video did was overload them with feelings of despair, causing them to crave it as a way of coping with the despair that was just unleashed onto them.

The despair video did not:

Turn them into mindless zombies

Make them love or worship Junko

Remove their free will or ability to make decisions

All the video did was make them crave despair, how they went about it was entirely up to them. Like Nagito, for example, he gave into the despair by hating Junko, but he was never a mindless zombie.

In fact, I think even being able to resist the videos effects at all kind of implies that the video isn't forcing you to give into temptation. It gives you urges, but that's all. The Ultimate Despairs chose to give into their urges of despair. They also chose the methods of which they went about bringing despair. The video wasn't mind control, it doesn't have the technology to turn you into a mindless servant. In that sense, the despair video did not remove their autonomy and they still chose their actions.

Big fat massive however...

While it is true that their ability to choose what to do remained, the fact is that they only made the decisions they made and got their despair urges in the first place was because they were brainwashed. So it is also true that the person at fault isn't them, it's Junko and her video.

And that's the point, it isn't their fault that they made those choices. Some may say this is because Kodaka wanted to make them more redeemable, but I just completely disagree because it was always like this.

Makoto refers to them as victims at multiple points in Danganronpa 2, even saying that they were brainwashed and have the ability to go back to normal. Danganronpa 3 didn't make them more "blameless," it emphasized a theme and point that was there since the start.

Dialing it back

Themes of guilt and blame are things that have always existed in Danganronpa. I already mentioned how Danganronpa 2 refers to the Ultimate Despairs as victims, but there's plenty more examples of this.

Such as Ryota in Danganronpa 3. Ryota is threatened with his classmates' lives and is forced to develop the despair video for Junko. Would you say Ryota's at fault?

Of course not, and I doubt the anime wants you to believe that way either. But that doesn't stop Ryota from feeling this way. He's a victim, just like everyone else. A victim who was forced to make a choice that he now regrets.

Alternatively, we can look at Juzo as well. He was blackmailed with his biggest insecurity used against him, completely unaware of the despair that would soon follow. While you could argue he's more to blame than the others, the point is just like them, he was forced into a situation where he couldn't choose. He wasn't responsible for Junko's actions, but he still feels as if he was. He's a victim too. A victim who was also forced to make a choice that he now regrets.

This isn't a theme exclusive to Danganronpa 3. I already mentioned how it applies to Danganronpa 2, but it's been there since the first game.

When Chihiro feels at fault for judging Leon, Makoto tells them that it isn't their fault. Nor was it Sayaka's or Leon's. Even though they chose to kill, it was only because of the situation. It was the mastermind's fault, not theirs.

The big point

The big point throughout the series is that the many actions we see throughout the series are done so due to the situation these characters are forced in. From the very start, it's been established that the blame should go towards Junko, not her victims.

Guilt is a running theme in Danganronpa, even more so in Danganronpa 3. That's why the anime emphasizes it, showing us Junko's victims and how they were effected but also making it clear that even though they made the wrong choices, they only did so because of Junko.

Danganronpa 3 didn't make Class 77 "blameless." Saying so implies that the series wanted you to blame them in the first place.

What Danganronpa 3 did was emphasize the point and theme the series had been setting up for a long time. This is a story where Junko is the bad guy and these are her victims. This is how it is in the last entry, this is how it's been since the first game.

So yes, Class 77 chose to to give into their despair obsessed urges. Ryota chose to help make Junko's video. Juzo chose to lie about Junko. Chihiro chose to judge their classmates. Sayaka and Leon chose to attack. But they only made these choices because they were put into unavoidable situations by Junko.

It's not about who here is more guilty than the other, the fact is they're all victims of Junko at the end of the day. They were never supposed to be blamed, implying that Danganronpa 3 makes them blameless misses the point entirely.

You can say whatever you want about whether or not brainwashing is more or less interesting than the idea of Junko somehow manipulating 15 individual students that she doesn't care about in less than a year to turn them into despair super terrorists willing to hack off body parts and kill their own family, but at the end of the day I think saying that the brainwashing ruins the themes of Danganronpa 2 is just kind of incorrect.

Those are my two cents anyways.

[st4rc4t]

everything about you eddie munson x reader

wc: 700

cw: fluff, bomb mention but its a metaphor, kinda rockstar!eddie but the band still isnt super popular yet

a/n: you might recognise this i wrote it for . someone else . a long time ago but i rewrote it for eddie :3

As soon as he was away from the crowd, you were all over him. Quite literally. An arm wrapped tightly around his, his hand gently holding yours. He was always gentle, said he didn’t wanna “crush your chicken bones.” Whatever that meant. Still, it was sweet.

You just couldn’t stop staring at him. His huge proud smile as he talked to friends, flushed face and long sweaty hair stuck to his skin. You admired him the whole walk to the bar. A couple times while walking, he’d turn from conversing with a bandmate, or someone else, you weren’t really paying attention. He'd stop talking just to ask how you were doing.

Besides the copious amounts of praises you shouted at the band as soon as they came off stage, you were shockingly silent for having just watched them play. You had always felt the need to compliment him and the group for days afterwards, so your silence slightly worried him. Each time he asked, you’d just give him the most love sick smile he's even seen, and respond with something along the lines of, “absolutely perfect, my love.'' When you finally get to the dingy bar and have the chance to sit down, he turns his full body towards you to have a proper conversation. Sat in the middle of a round booth, one arm above you and the other on the table, effectively caging you in. Upon making undivided eye contact with him, you make a strangled squeal sound. slapping your hand over your mouth, you’re embarrassed of your unbridled want.

“What is going on with you,” he questions with an amused smirk, reaching to remove your hand from your face, “barely said a word since we left the venue.”

“You did so, so good,” you responded with big doe eyes. It definitely wasn't an answer to his question.

“You've said that already, my darling, thank you very much,” if he hadn’t known any better he would think you were already drunk, “but really, i’d like an answer to the question.”

you huff through your nose, and look at him for a moment longer, trying to collect your thoughts. Trying to explain that nothing is wrong, he is just so incredibly sexy that you feel like you’re a ticking time bomb. The anxiety of waiting for something to happen but he’s already right there, so, so close to you. It's almost too much. You’re afraid if you let your body do what it wants, you will get so affectionate, it appears violent to outside eyes. He can see the gears turning behind your eyes, and gives you another moment longer to collect yourself.

“you are,” you pause to take a breath in, speaking slowly, “so, incredibly special to me. I can not even believe how looking at you makes me feel. I don't even think I could...point out individual things, it is everything about you. I love you so much,” you release an exhale, as though the time bomb inside finally exploded, and you were finally able to release at least some of the pent up emotion.

He stares back at you, almost in shock. He knew you loved him. You say it to each other at least once a day, but he had never seen you in such a love-drunken state. A huge smile spreads on his pretty face, cheeks sore. Already riding the high of an incredible show, his insides were on fire. He was so warm, so grateful to have you on top of his already wonderful life. He didn't think it could get any better until he fell in love with you.

He cradles your face in his warm hands, radiating as much sweetness and need as you are. Kisses quickly cover every centimeter of your face. You’re laughing instantly, so beautiful and light, like down feathers dancing around his heart. Small incomplete mumbles of “I love you” and “So happy to have you” escape as he dotes on you.

The other members of Corroded Coffin are gagging playfully amongst themselves. Steve and Robin just awe silently at the display, reminiscing on younger days, appreciating how far everyone has come.