#i feel like it was released last year or something

[megwritesriddles]

In the Middle of the Night (In My Dreams!) ༊*·˚

18+ MDNI !!!

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Fem! Reader / You

Summary: Kinktober 2024 Day 21 - Somnophilia. Riddle has to figure out a way to keep Reader happy and covering for his ever increasing duties outside of the castle. What initially starts as a transaction escalates when they're both more willing than he expected, leading them to explore the slightly more forbidden together.

Tags: Somnophilia (consensual), Mildly dubious consent, Fingering, Hand jobs, Oral sex (f and m receiving), Friends with benefits, Denial of feelings, SoftDom!Riddle, HeadGirl!Reader, Manipulation, Faking an illness (chronic fatigue is very real, he's just a lying POS, only briefly mentioned).

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!!

Word count: 5.1k

Read it on ao3! | Masterlist

Authors note: Okay so despite this poll (sorry), I edited this into a less dark kinktober fic and will then release a much darker (non-con elements) part two after I finally finish kinktober!! This works as a stand alone if you're not into reading that kinda stuff (which I totally understand, ily dw)!! It just felt too dark for kinktober... even tho I literally have non-con as the prompt for day 25.... idk okay!! Hope you like it anyway mwah ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡

PART 2 COMING SOON !! (but works as stand alone)

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The moment the two of you had been announced as Head Boy and Girl at the start of the year, Riddle knew he had to get on your good side. Not only for the purposes of professional engagements and living in the same quarters but also because there would be a lot he’d need from you. Last year, he had found a flaw in the enchantments around the castle, discovering that apparition in and out of the castle was in fact possible, so long as you did so from the room of requirements. He has started attending to business outside of the castle regularly, rallying supporters in closed-off magical communities, among trolls and elves. He also searches for artefacts and researches dark magic when he finds the time, visiting isolated collections owned by old eccentrics who he is able to charm easily. He’s made himself a busy life outside of Hogwarts which he’s determined to keep up in order for his plans post-graduation to go as smoothly as possible. Which is where you come in. 

He leaves for these expeditions every weekend, but obviously, he’s not actually allowed to leave the castle. He has to ask you to cover for him if anyone asks where he’s gone. He concocts a rubbish story about having chronic fatigue and having to rest all the time he can, and that he can’t possibly be disturbed while he’s resting as he’s taking special potions for sleep. It’s all a lie, playing on your empathy, which he knows you have droves of, something you are widely admired for. He tells you that he’s horribly embarrassed about it and doesn’t want anyone to think he’s incapable of being Head Boy because of it, so asks you to cover for him if anyone asks about him. You give him those big sympathetic eyes and agree, workshopping a litany of excuses with him. He almost feels bad with how seriously you’re taking this, how much you want him to feel okay, even though you’ve never liked him much before. Almost. It won’t happen a lot either way, he’s told his ‘friends’ that he will be out of reach and very sternly told them not to question, so they won’t poke around, and anyone else who needs him won’t need him often. He makes a show of being very tired in the evenings in the common room the first few weeks you live together. Soon after, he drops the charade and you don’t seem to notice the falsification happening right in front of you, continuing to cover for him every now and then when it comes up. You even comment optimistically that he seems more energetic lately, to which he smiles.

“I suppose so, yes, it must be that I can finally get the rest I need, thanks to you,” he says smoothly, proud of himself for taking this as another opportunity to keep you pliable. You seem overjoyed to be helping.

In return, he keeps you sweet. At first, he merely observes you to get an idea of what might keep him on your good side. Then, he starts showing up for you. He brings your favourite pastries from breakfast (you have a bad habit of sleeping in, which sometimes makes him wonder how you got this job, but alas), accompanied by a coffee just how you like it. Complimenting you whenever you try a new hairstyle or dress up nicely on weekends. The first time he’d done it, he’d commented on a trim you’d gotten to your hair over the weekend in Hogsmeade. You were baffled, saying no one had noticed a thing all day. He sensed that you found the fact that he was the only one to notice odd, but he couldn’t help being observant. He told you as much, and you just smiled. He makes sure to do any favours you ask of him, so you can’t throw his refusal back in his face in case you want to stop helping him, he needs something to hold over your head. It’s never much, perhaps helping you with a bit of schoolwork, listening to a speech you’ve prepared for Head duties or just jostling the logs in the fireplace of the common room when the flames die down. He’s surprised you don’t ask for more, considering that he starts asking for a lot from you. 

His schedule outside of Hogwarts gets complicated, requiring him to head out occasionally in the middle of the week. You always cover for him, insisting to professors that he’s ill in bed, even though it’s clear by now that you’ve realised he’s actually missing during these periods. Your enthusiasm over helping him out has dwindled as you get the sense you’re being played, but he treats you well enough that you seem to assume the best intentions. How naive. Having someone so respected by the professors, the head girl herself, lying for him, he knows, is the only reason he’s been getting away with it for this long. He’s ‘sick’ far too often and never seen at the hospital wing, never requesting any medicine or showing any symptoms. He wonders what you think he’s doing when he’s away, doubting you could guess the truth, but you never ask despite your increasingly suspicious looks, which he appreciates. He likes you, you’re discreet, a surprising trait for such a goody-two-shoes as you are. He spends more and more time with you in the common room in his free time, charming you and winning you over, making sure he’s there if you need a favour or a ‘friend’ to talk to. He finds you to be intelligent and likeable, you’re funny, even if he prefers a bit of a darker humour than you have. There are silences as you sit together where you stare at him while he works on whatever schoolwork he deems most important that day, he knows you’re formulating all sorts of theories, your brain turning as you try to make a guess.

“I appreciate you being discreet,” he says simply one night as you sit together, working separately on assignments. The statement is followed by a silence in which he is tempted to look over at you to see your reaction but resists the urge.

“I don’t suppose you’ll ever tell me what you’re up to?” It’s meant to be a question, but it comes out as a statement. You already know he won’t, and he knows it too. No matter how good you’ve proved to be about covering for him, if you knew the true nature of what he was up to, you’d run. Tattle before even letting him explain, which really wouldn’t help either way. He turns to you, extending an arm. 

“Come here,” he nods his head in his direction. You look confused, and he doesn’t blame you for feeling that way, he isn’t affectionate with anyone. He makes a point of never being seen as being soft, which is easy given he isn’t soft for anyone. But he knows the type you are, so sweet and kind, the type that you can be won over with a little affection. There’s no one here to see either of you anyway, he can risk it this once. You slowly scoot into his side and he wraps an arm around your shoulders. He brushes an errant strand of hair from your face and holds you to his side. “I really do appreciate it, I’m always here if you need anything from me,” he whispers. You look up at him and nod. “Good,” he hums. You spend the rest of the night pressed into his side as you do your homework, it’s odd, but he’s warm and solid, and most girls at Hogwarts would kill to be in your position, so you let it be. It becomes a fairly frequent scene, the two of you snuggled up by the fire, especially as the days grow colder and colder. His hands like to wander, brushing places they probably shouldn’t, but you never stop him or say a word, letting your own hands wander a little too. You don’t talk about it, not with him or with anyone else. You know without words that he doesn’t want it to leave the room. It’s just another secret you have to keep for him. 

He starts having the need for more frequent meetings with his little group of in-school followers, the Knights of Walpurgis, as his plans get closer and closer to their time of fruition. The Head Common Room is the perfect place to host, spacious and completely secret, except for from you. He knows he has to sweeten the deal once more to have you leave the common room for long periods in the evening. So one night, while the two of you study together snuggled up, he kisses you. You’re alarmed but immediately kiss back. He knew you would, every girl in the damn school would, but it still feels like an unexpectedly simple triumph. His hand grips your jaw, not allowing you to move away, not that you’re trying to. Your hand gently cups the side of his neck, keeping him close as his tongue carefully breaches your lips, slightly surprised by how willing you are for him. He has a multitude of things he’s considered doing to you, but for tonight, he has to stick with something focused on your pleasure. He doesn’t mind, pleasuring you is an act of domination in its own right. By the end of the night, he has you sat between his legs, your back to his chest as his fingers thrust in and out of you. You squirm and mewl in his ear, your head thrown back on his shoulder, as he holds you securely with an arm around your middle, fucking you on his fingers. He’s high off of the fact he has you completely nude apart from your socks before him, while he’s still fully dressed.

“There we go, darling,” he purrs in your ear, gently pressing his lips to your jaw. “I bet you’ve wanted this for quite a while, haven’t you?” he teases, grinding the heel of his palm against you as his fingers press in and out. You must have, given how quickly you’d let him strip you down, manoeuvre you into the position he wanted, just how soaking wet you’d been from a couple of strategic words of praise. He’d wrongly assumed you’d be a little more prudish, but he was pleasantly surprised otherwise. “I want you to do something for me,” he whispers, slowing his movements a little so you can focus on his words. You whine softly in protest and he smirks. “Tomorrow evening, could you make yourself scarce for… let’s say three hours? Starting from… six thirty?” his fingers caress your inner walls torturously lightly, almost tickling, making you squirm unhappily.

“Where would I go?” you exhale.

“Library? Walk the grounds? Astronomy tower? I don’t mind, darling, as long as you’re not here,” he kisses behind your ear softly. He expects some questions or protests, but none come, only a simple nod. He’s a little surprised how easy things are with you, although it may have a lot to do with how his fingers are currently buried deep in your cunt at present, he concedes to himself. But you’re always easy, always helpful, so willing to give him the benefit of the doubt even though you were more than smart enough to know better. “That’s a lovely girl,” he smiles against your skin. He hesitates, unsure whether to reveal the transactional nature of his kindness toward you, but he feels he must assure you somehow that it will be worthwhile. “I’ll reward you accordingly, I promise. You’ll hurry back to me at nine-thirty, won’t you? I’ll be missing you by then,” he purrs, trying to further pull the wool over your eyes with some flattery. He straightens up to look down at you, your head still resting back on his shoulder. “Won’t you?” he prompts again, kissing your forehead. You nod, giving him a pleading look and bucking your hips helplessly. You want him to keep going, feeling half-insane from his unmoving fingers filling you up.

And that he does, finger-fucking you through two mind-blowing orgasms that night, showering you with ever more ridiculous praises as the night goes on. It’s unclear whether you’re losing your mind to the pleasure and not understanding him, or if he’s just spewing every compliment he can possibly think of. Once you’re thoroughly debauched, he helps you into your bed as your legs are too shaky on their own, laying you down and kissing you goodnight with a slightly stilted tenderness. You watch him in quiet confusion as he retreats from your room, feeling satisfied and yet completely confused. 

It becomes a bit of a routine, whenever he needs you to stay away from the common room, or otherwise go out of your way for him, he pulls you into his lap in the evening and tugs down your underwear, pleasuring you expertly. Soon, it becomes harder to tell, as he begins to get you off every night, whether he’s after something or not. You don’t know if it’s just his efforts to make sure you don’t forget to think of him positively, you’re far from oblivious to the fact you’re being bribed, or if he’s just enjoying it at this point. He stretches out your encounters more and more, especially when you start returning the favour, using your hand on him while he does the same to you. You’re pleasantly surprised how aroused he gets just from fucking you on his fingers, always at least half-hard by the time you can get your hands on him. When he introduces his mouth into the equation, you’re sure he’ll be asking something big of you soon. But he doesn’t, nothing new comes up, other than you also beginning to use your mouth on him. He seems to love it, so you suppose it must have been motivation enough. He likes to take his time, to make you feel helpless and desperate, not seeming to care if it leads him to spend long periods of time kneeling before you, which was something you were certain he would have never been caught doing for anyone.

It’s a nice relationship in Riddle's opinion, he gets off and he gets what he wants from you. You make yourself scarce and Riddle is able to conduct his meetings in peace in a perfect setting. Whether you’re using mouths or hands, it’s always intensely pleasurable. He grows attached to the sight of you on your knees before him, his cock deep in your mouth as you look up at him with those wide innocent eyes. You’re amazing with your mouth, and usually willing to get on your knees whenever he’d like you to. It’s a perfect arrangement in this way. He loves to hold you down and make you scream using nothing but his tongue. Some of his friends say that eating out a woman is demeaning, but he never feels more powerful than when he has you crying and begging. He loves to make you beg, long-forgotten is the fact he’s meant to be doing this just to keep you sweet, just to manipulate you into helping him. He’s lost in it now, and no matter how selfish he gets in bed, you keep covering for him, seeming to misinterpret him as generous rather than intensely power-hungry. It works well for his purposes, so he lets you think of him as a giving lover.

He’s a little surprised that you haven’t asked for any exclusivity or any indication of whether he’s bringing in other girls at the times he asks you to keep away. He’s not, of course, but he doesn’t understand why you don’t care to ask. He tells himself that it doesn’t matter, but deep down it does bother him, every other girl he’d ever been involved with, even briefly, had asked to be his one and only. You’re a sweet girl, the type he assumed would fall in love with him the moment he first got his hands on (and in) you, but you haven’t indicated this in any way. He knows you’re not seeing any other men because he keeps an eye on you whenever he can. Even having gone so far as to cancel a meeting with a tradesman in Diagon Alley to stay back and watch you while you think he’s away. Nothing. You go about your day as normal, come back to the common room and curl up to read your book. Just before bed, you attempt to get yourself off and fail, pouting through your night routine. You can’t do it without him, he notes smugly. He wishes he could come help, but he can’t without revealing his spying. By the time he gets back legitimately, you’re fast asleep. Given all of this, he still doesn’t understand why you’re not asking him for a commitment. It’s not that he wants to commit to you, he doesn’t like the idea of being tied down, even if he currently has no interest or energy to pursue anyone but you, but the fact you haven’t asked drives him nuts. You seem happy to get off with him and go to sleep without asking a single question. He lingers in your doorway, watching your frame rise and fall under your blanket with slow breaths, wondering about you.

He’s surprised when you bring it up. How you’d felt his presence in your doorway while you’d been asleep, despite not being fully awake. He explained that he’d been wanting to help you out (his own evasive phrasing) but that you’d been visibly asleep so he’d left instead. At your expression, he asks you teasingly if you’d have liked him to do it anyway, his teasing smirk only growing when you blush and nod. And so a system was set, he tells you to sleep on the sofa in the common room if you’d like his attention during the night, as he has a habit of waking up in the middle of the night to fetch water. You agree and you proceed together like normal for the next few days, pleasuring each other in the evenings when he isn’t busy. Every night, even on nights he wasn’t actually waking up naturally, he would come into the common room to check for you. For a long time, you’re not there, and he’s a little frustrated with you. Why dangle such a tantalising idea in front of him if you never meant to go through with it? He’d been a perfect gentleman, telling you that you could say no if the idea made you uncomfortable, but at the time, you’d seemed apprehensively excited about it, yet now, nothing. His eyes stay glued on your door as he goes about getting his water each night, wishing he could go in there. He tries his best not to show his disappointment when he spends time with you in the daytime, not wanting to come off as pushy and drive you away. He needed you to like him, staying on your good side was non-negotiable and pushing you on a matter like this was generally frowned upon. About a week and a half later, he trudges from his room to top up his glass and sees a lump under a blanket on the sofa. It’s you.

He immediately slows and lightens his footsteps, not wanting to wake you as it would ruin the fun. He hadn’t had time for you the last four days, between increasing stakes when it came to schoolwork and closing in on a magical artefact outside of it, he’d been gone for everything but class and sleep. He creeps over to you, seeing your peaceful face squished against the velvet throw pillow. You must have missed him, he thinks, since you started your little mutual arrangement you’ve never gone more than two days without each other before, mostly because Riddle found himself quite insatiable. He’d always told himself he was uninterested in matters of the flesh, that he enjoyed indulging but could easily control himself, and that he was only doing what he was with you to manufacture a sense of closeness and keep you in the palm of his hand. Yet, he had to admit that he doesn’t usually go so far for the purposes of manipulation and that he never would have done this in the first place if he hadn’t found you attractive. He was unwilling to sacrifice his own happiness for his manipulation, beyond a bit of necessary flattering drivel. So when he’d allowed himself into this arrangement, even simply under a pretence, he had quickly lost control of it and become ravenous for the sensations you could offer. He watches your parted lips as you breathe softly. Gently, he rolls you onto your back, waiting to see if you wake. You don’t. He slips the plush blanket down your body and exposes you to his eyes. You’re dressed in a sweet feminine nightgown and he finds the look to be sweet on you, fitting. You were a perfect thing to corrupt. Yet, he smirks to himself, you had agreed to this, you were already corrupted, so desperate for him that you wanted him even in your sleep. Surely you did want exclusivity from him, you were just trying to appear laid back to not scare him off. You could be endearingly shy like that at times. Yes, you agreeing to this was surely evidence that you wanted more from him than you had. That you needed him.

He slowly and cautiously shifts you around until he can settle comfortably between your legs. His hands run up and down the soft skin of your thighs, keeping a close eye to see if you stir. He wonders if you’re really such a heavy sleeper, or if you’re merely pretending not to have woken for his benefit. At the moment it doesn’t matter to him, you seem asleep enough, and if you are conscious, you’re hardly objecting. He pushes up the hem of your nightdress and grins at the sight of you already bare for him, with no underwear in sight. Naughty girl, he thinks to himself as his hands skim up and down your inner thighs, leaning forward to press a soft kiss just above the little patch of hair shielding the part of you he wants most. He would love to tease you and draw it out more, but he doesn’t want you to wake before he can explore the more intimate aspects. He carefully lies down, guiding one of your supple thighs over his shoulder, spreading you open for his eager eyes. You’re already a little wet, he wonders if it’s from his teasing now, or perhaps your dreamy anticipation. He knows he can get you wetter easily. He uses two fingers to gently spread you open even more, revealing the sensitive pearl nestled within your folds. He blows lightly on it, making you twitch a little. He grins.

Still trying to let you stay asleep for now, he leans in and very gently touches his tongue to your bundle of nerves. You sigh softly in your sleep but don’t seem to wake. Your dreams are turning sticky-sweet, you begin to feel warm and floaty, but you’re not conscious enough to register this change properly. You squirm slightly and moan as his tongue gently swirls around your clit, not touching to keep you just bubbling below waking. Your breath is hitching softly, and little noises are leaving your throat. He can tell you’ll wake soon unless he stops, but he figures he doesn’t mind. He wants to see your face when you wake up to his head between your legs. Will you be shocked to start with? Or immediately eager and accepting? He was oddly thrilled to discover this. Your hands slide away from where they rested on your stomach, trying to grab something as he starts to lap at you just a little faster, your breath hitching a little more, exhaling shakily. He’s surprised you’re still asleep, he’s tempted to use legilimency on you to discover what you’re dreaming of. Your face is flushed and your lips parted blissfully, so he figures it’s something nice. His tongue slides up and down between your slick folds, the familiar taste of you spreading across his tongue as you become more and more aroused. He gently kneads the skin of your hip, pulling you a little closer to his mouth, trying to coax you awake without startling you too much. Your eyelids flutter, but you remain asleep, whimpering quietly. He focuses the tip of his tongue on your clit, making the stimulation just a little more intense, watching for your reaction intently. Your fingers tangle into the crumpled blanket by your side, curling into the plush material, and he knows you're on the very verge of wakefulness. He smirks, gently suckling your clit into his mouth. 

This rips a loud moan from your chest, which in turn makes your eyes snap open. You try to sit up, blinking blearily, looking a little bewildered, trying to make out shapes in the dim moonlight, to understand why you feel lost in a haze of pleasure. Riddle's hand moves, splaying out on your stomach, pushing you back down and holding you there. Your eyes snap to him, he grins up at you from between your legs, looking unbelievably smug, his eyes glinting in the light of the moon. The sight of him between your legs, the knowledge of what he’d been doing while you’d been sleeping, coaxes another moan from your lips. He eases up a little now you’re awake, going back to gentle teasing licks against your bundle of nerves. Your heart pounds and you breathe rapidly, partially reeling from the sudden awakening, but mostly just feeling amazing. You lie back against the sofa, trying your best to get your bearings while he continues smothering you with unrelenting bliss. He pulls back for a moment, though he instantly replaces his mouth with his fingers, not giving you a moment to think. 

“Naughty girl, sleeping without underwear to give me access,” he purrs, his voice rumbling in a self-satisfied manner. You giggle sleepily. You had done that, hadn’t you? He smiles up at you. “Was it a nice awakening, my darling?” he murmurs smoothly, leaning back in to continue his dedicated licks. You whimper softly, your hips twitching before he holds you solidly in place, tutting against your sensitive skin.

“The best awakening, so unbelievably arousing,” you whisper, your voice hoarse, watching him work his magic between your legs. He hums against you. He knows this of course, this was quite possibly the wettest he’d ever had you, only increasing since you’d woken up and become conscious of what he was doing. Your hands slide into his short curls as he works, usually, he might complain about this, but you’re still a little sleepy, and he decides to let it go. You sigh pleasurably, your hooded eyes locked on him. His eyes look up to meet yours as he begins to suckle on your clit once more. Intense pleasure floods over you, your head lolling back, your hands tightening slightly in his hair. You let out a string of desperate moans, moans he’s become intimately familiar with over the past few weeks. You’re close and he intends to get you there, to show you how much you need him, to remind you that you can no longer achieve this alone, if you ever could. He doubles down on his actions, gripping your hip a little tighter to keep you firmly in place. “Oh… Tom!” you plead, trying to grind your centre up into his face. You could get so desperate sometimes, Riddle tuts to himself. “Please,” you beg, anticipating his desire to tease you and hoping to get ahead of it. You need this, badly, he hasn’t been around to help you for days, and the scenario was driving you mad with lust. He’s uncharacteristically gracious, not relenting, continuing to lavish you with exquisite sensation, building you up and up. You look down again, and as his eyes meet yours, the coil in your belly snaps. Your whole body tenses, your back arching off of the sofa, a guttural cry escaping you. He holds your hips in place, continuing his assault as you ride out the climax. Tears gather in your eyes and you feel a little humiliated by how intensely this is affecting you. 

After several desperate sobs, you finally collapse back, your hands slipping from his hair. You take several deep breaths as he withdraws from between your legs, sitting up to look down at you. He grabs a tissue from the coffee table, wiping his mouth and discarding it haphazardly. You smile tiredly, and you feel exhausted by your sudden wake-up, but completely heavenly at the same time. You stare at each other for a moment. It’s an oddly domestic moment. You’ve never seen him in his pyjamas before, a matching shirt and trousers, made of silk or some other such soft material, the type that’s popular with the rich Slytherin boys. His hair is a little curly naturally, this you did know from him getting back to the common room on rainy days, but is now slightly messed up from your hands in it. You cover yourself back up, tugging the hem of your nightdress back down as he watches. He looks almost sweet, he has been sweet to you, in his own way. He reaches over and touches your flushed cheek, rubbing it softly with his thumb, unsure whether he’s trying to prove his effect on you, or just wishing to touch you. 

“I’ll have to think of something to ask of you in exchange for doing that,” he jokes a little unnaturally. You laugh honestly. 

“You didn’t already have something?” you tease, moving to sit up. He smiles, enjoying the way you see through him, just enough to prove you’re not stupid, but not enough to compromise any plans. Perhaps that’s why you haven’t asked for exclusivity with him, you’re not stupid like the others, whether you want it or not being irrelevant to the facts. The facts that were feeling more like theories lately.

“No, believe it or not,” he chuckles, pushing your hair behind your shoulder. “But it’ll be easy enough to think of something,” he pulls you onto his lap and kisses you goodnight. “You always find a way of being useful,”

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xoxoxo

[yumeka-sxf]

2-year anniversary post

My blog is now 2-years old~!

After my last anniversary post, I had quite a list of projects planned; in addition to making posts for all the upcoming SxF content, like the movie, season 2, and the video game, I had other personal projects in mind as well. I wanted to start on my Japanese Linguistic Observations in Spy x Family series, which I was able to write five posts for as of now! (I've currently exhausted all the topics I wanted to discuss for that, but I may come up with more ideas later on). There was also the Spy x Family Character Tracker, which took me a while to get motivated to do, but once I did, I'm proud of how it turned out 😃 I also made a lot of scan posts this year too, like the workbooks and my series of miscellaneous collab scans.

But compared to my last anniversary, which was at a time when there was a lot of new SxF content on the horizon, we've been in a bit of a dry spell the past several months. Hype for the aforementioned movie, game, and anime season have died down, and merch and collabs have slowed as well, since there hasn't been new anime content to promote. But I consider it the calm before the storm, lol.

This is also why my posts have gotten a little less frequent lately - there hasn't been as much new SxF content in general besides the manga chapters, and as mentioned previously, I was able to check off the projects I had wanted to do. So as of now, I don't have much new content planned in the coming year besides continuing my Chronological Analysis on Twilight and Yor series when season 3 airs (still no release date yet, but I'm betting on spring of 2025). I'll also make posts for each anime episode like I did with season 2. And of course, I'll continue my manga chapter reviews, and make merch and scan posts when I can.

I've always tried to maintain a "quality over quantity," "only write when I have something to say," mentality for the blog. I don't want to force myself to write when I'm not motivated (this is also why I don't take part in community writing projects and the like). I also have other hobbies besides SxF, so I like to focus my limited free time on those when there isn't much going on in the SxF fandom. Occasionally I think to myself, "Hm, I haven't posted on Tumblr in a while," but if there isn't anything I feel like writing about at the time, it's better if I hold off rather than force myself to churn out something uninspiring.

But as I said, I feel like we're in a calm before the storm. Season 3 will already be exciting enough, but there's a good chance more content will follow. The next Jump Festa is scheduled for late December, and as usual, SxF will have a dedicated panel with the four Forger voice actors in attendance!

The movie and season 2 were announced at this event in 2022, so there's a good chance we'll get more juicy announcements this year! Even if not another movie, I'd be happy with more artbooks, collabs, and other things down the line! There's also a good chance an idea for another SxF project will inspire me and I'll start working on that. Who knows. But I do know SxF is still a popular series with many more years of content to produce! And I look forward to seeing, and blogging about, it all 😁

[vitaminseetarot]

Pick a Card: Your Next Upcoming Transformation 🌕🦋

Hey y'all, welcome back for another pac reading for our last supermoon of the year. This full moon is in Taurus, so we are encouraged to step back and focus on resting and self care in between these tumultuous and difficult energies we are currently running through. Every late autumn season invites us to explore how we have transformed over the year and how we are still evolving. This Scorpio season in particular has been very emboldened and expressive as I've seen its presence in everything from neighborhood construction to politics. And while I will avoid making this post too charged, I will use this post as a reminder that I support all marginalized communities who are feeling confused and vulnerable at this time. I hope you find this blog to be a safe space.

Butterfly imagery has been surrounding me, and I was even gifted some butterfly magnets this season. Butterflies represent the soul and its deep transformative abilities. As we release the old, we may be able to spread our wings to be magnets for better times ahead. So I've created six piles to show where and how this process is shifting you to your next chapter.

1. Pink Butterfly - Little Princess 2. Red Butterfly - Inferno 3. Yellow Butterfly - Spirited Yellow 4. Green Butterfly - Willow Hedge 5. Blue Butterfly - Sea of Tranquility 6. Purple Butterfly - Joie de vivre

Pile 1: Pink Butterfly - Little Princess

6 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups; Appreciation, Marquise, Wolf, Grandmother Moonstone "Forgive, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace."

Good evening, pile 1. Your next chapter involves balancing your needs with the needs of others. Perhaps for a while, you have been on one end of an extreme when it came to exchanging. You may feel as though you give too much without receiving the equivalent in return, and this realization means that your generous energy is wearing down on you. It could also be the other way around, where you could feel guilty when others give you things because you're not sure how you will be able to return the favor. It may feel easier to lean on oneself than to grapple with paying back such a gift, as you wouldn't want the other person to feel tired too. I'm feeling many hang ups on both ends when it comes to generosity, and this energy may be arising due to the holiday season getting closer. With the Marquise card showing the Libra symbol above the 6 of Pentacles, balance is the emphasis here. Balance is not always an exact 50/50 at the time of exchange. Cycles will come where you may rely on the help of others more, followed by phases where those same people will come to need and appreciate your help. This is balance in a higher order sense, in terms of your lifetime and not just one season.

It could have been that, in childhood, you were given strange attitudes and beliefs on giving and receiving. I'm getting a weird reaction from seeing "Little Princess". Some part of you may want to embody the princess archetype, who lives in abundance and receives adoration. But maybe there were people who used it with a more negative connotation, like saying "bratty princess" or "spoiled rotten princess". This could have been from family, friends, or even ideas picked up from TV. It could have been that others act like they're spoiling you or really going out of their way when they give you or help you with something. It's such a sticky back and forth, and in time it becomes harder to receive or be grateful from such a source of negativity. And now you've been getting this intuitive nudge that healthier beliefs need to be created.

This season is about observing these negative beliefs and reclaiming your feelings of gratitude and generosity, in a sense. Gratitude isn't about settling for bad standards; if you get a bad gift or a good gift out of somebody "spoiling" you, it's not a reflection of who you are but of where they're at in their own journey. If they don't seem grateful for what you do, that's also a part of their own process. Some people won't be able to reciprocate, just as there are times where others will give more than you can give back. You can embody a healthy princess archetype by allowing yourself to receive without guilt, and letting yourself give without exhausting yourself. People above all like to know they're being appreciated, even if the gift isn't perfect, which means you're off the pressure from finding that perfect thing too. It's ultimately the thought that counts, so whatever you give or get, release the burden and enjoy the gift swapping. If you feel others don't appreciate what you do, please understand it's part of their own life to deal with and please give yourself that gift of self-appreciation.

Pile 2: Red Butterfly - Inferno

XXIII Prism, XI Justice; Future, Tear, Lion, Anandalite and Lemon Balm "Try. Make mistakes! Try again. Perfection does not exist."

Good evening, pile 2. You're transforming into a time of life that's filled to the brim with creative passion. There is an overflow of fiery hot emotion in this group, see how the volcano plumes from the lion's head. You may be getting a lot of ideas at this time for what to make next, some of you could be working on a project now but I'm also getting that many haven't started yet and only will when the grand idea comes through. There are two ways I'm interpreting these projects. They could be artistic or writing projects, but it could also refer to the creation process of forming and completing new goals. This group could benefit greatly from making vision boards, especially for what you want to see or do for next year. Interesting enough, this tarot deck has two additional cards and you got one of them, the Prism, which I interpret to mean "everything". This card sits below the Tear card with the Gemini symbol, so you may also benefit from using a notepad to write ideas down as you get them on the fly. I'm hearing that the ideas that make you feel the most will be the most potent when made physical, you are being asked to work closely with your emotions as a creative compass.

Your cards are bright and hot, but must be tempered with cool confidence. You are stepping into a fresh role where you can imagine your visions easily coming to life. I don't have the Moonology deck in this reading but I'm reminded of the Leo card where it says "confidence is your key to success" because it's such a strong affirmation. Your task is to be your own cheerleader to keep the energy and momentum brimming alive. Cause that's the thing about fire: it will eventually burn out if it's not attended to. Cool casual confidence is a firewood coated in fat, it's what starts the fire and keeps it going long. Not every idea will be the great one, but it's important to put down anything that comes to mind. There will always be time, with the Justice card, for sorting and deciding what works and what doesn't later on. You know how you don't edit a story chapter by chapter, but only after the full draft is complete? This goes for anything you work on, even for future plans.

It doesn't seem like it now, but you are moving into a time where you will have the spark and the passion to move your vision forward. Making excited plans about what you will do or make next will put you in a better mindset for starting them. If you're looking at these cards thinking "passion? motivation? I've never felt so depleted, how could this be true?" then perhaps you're now in a space where sitting with your heavier feelings with grace and integrating them needs to be prioritized beforehand. Part of this transformation process into living in a more impassioned state requires small steps. Intuitive freewriting in a journal may help to break up darker feelings into something more manageable, or you may find another healthy creative outlet for dealing with difficult times currently. But if you've been convincing yourself that you can't create because you're in a bad mood, you may in the process of shifting around your perspective so that creating becomes a means to work through the bad mood. Beautiful, incredible things could come from embracing artistic skills from every facet and angle.

Pile 3: Yellow Butterfly - Spirited Yellow

10 of Wands, VII Chariot Rx; Self Love, Brilliant, Unicorn, Golden Topaz and Yellow Rose "Better to regret the things you've done than to regret the things you didn't do."

Good evening, pile 3. Goodness, do I want to give this group a big pat on the back for all you do! Whatever you've been working at over the months, you have been pushing hard! So much so that the end result doesn't even feel all that great anymore; you're just happy for it to be finished so you can take a break. This pile may have a lot of tired students who will be finishing out their semester in the next few weeks and you're excited for the brief moment of rest. You are very bright and intelligent as well as hard working and I feel your transformation involves acknowledging your talents and strengths. Maybe things didn't end the way you hoped for them to, like getting an A- instead of an A+, but you can still congratulate yourself for the effort you put in anyway, because to do so would congratulate you for who you are. And I get that this pile has had to deal with some major disappointments, but sometimes things just don't work out the way we intend them to. Sometimes the teacher just puts down a random grade because they're tired, maybe there isn't a good reason why. It's not worth belittling your own abilities.

Unicorns indicate something spectacular and magical. To see one before you is to see what cannot be easily believed. Next to the abundance card is a sign of great things to come. The Earth symbol in the Brilliant card reminds me of the Wheel of Fortune. At this time, things may feel "cursed" or futile, but a big spin of the wheel is due to come during your next evolution which may propel you to a different octave of luck. And it may not even be luck but rather the positive karma from the work you've done now. Trust that your good intentions and efforts will be reflected back to you when the stars align, but now is a time to pat yourself on the back and give yourself the recognition you need. The Morbid Mirror says "better to regret" but I wouldn't even say that. You don't need to spend any more time regretting the wrong choice on the quiz or that you answered a question awkwardly in a job interview. What's done is done and you don't need to beat yourself up for what didn't work out.

Forgive yourself for not meeting every goal perfectly, and forgive yourself if your energy to keep pushing is waning. This may be a time where you need to focus more on cheering yourself up and resting than trying to figure out what went wrong or how to make it right. Remind yourself of all the times where things have worked out before and affirm your own brilliance. Don't let the silence of today make you think that you don't deserve good things for what you give. Have faith your efforts will be met with great reward down the road. For now, your catalyst to transform involves making peace with yourself and creating opportunities to be happy. Enjoy the little things that raise your spirits up, and take pride in what you've accomplished so far no matter what.

Pile 4: Green Butterfly - Willow Hedge

6 of Swords, I Magician; Self Esteem, Sunflower, Swallow, Ethiopian Opal "The most damning lie you can tell is the lie you tell yourself."

Good evening, pile 4. Your next phase in life involving moving on from a rough chapter in your past. There could have been an event that scarred your sense of trust or elicited deep insecurities, like an audition but not getting the desired part, or a friend group wasn't what you thought it was. You'll be walking away from something that was toxic, whether it be a situation, group, person, or even from something within you like a limiting mindset that has tried corrode your self esteem. The Willow tree is traditionally a tree representing sorrow and loss, so at this time you may feel despondent and unsure of how things will change. But a hedge represents a boundary line between the known and unknown. Please remind yourself that things are meant to change, that from this difficult time a more prosperous time can later come, even if it's not clear now. The Swallow is a sign of hope and optimism showing you that you are meant to shift away into a better time. Do not let yourself get stuck in believing that the way things are is the way things will always be, as that will close doors faster than the wind. The only door you're meant to close is to the past that left you feeling hurt and torn. Soon, upon leaving the chrysalis, you will be able to open the doors to greater change.

The Magician makes full use of the here and now, using whatever they have at their disposal to see their goals through. Just because you don't see fresh flowers blooming doesn't mean the earth isn't ripe for new possibilities. Many plants can be seeded in the autumn that will blossom and grow fresh food in the spring and summer. There is more you can do with what you have now than you think. With the emphasis of wings in this pile, I'm getting that you're at the peak of something. You've risen up and overcome something difficult for which you don't give yourself enough credit. Only a vast horizon filled with potential lies before you, which you can do with however you please. You're not meant to forever stay frozen at the peak, reflecting on the toxicity you left behind, but to glide back down and start anew.

The Sunflower always faces the direction of the sun. So should you turn your attention to what in life makes you feel most good about being alive and being you. This is how you can move on, by making space for what you wish to grow. The Opal card speaks of children and birthing something into being, so however low you feel about yourself now, remember that we are all flying in our own altitudes and that there's always room to expand on yourself as a person. If you feel beat up because you didn't make it onto a sports team, place energy on creating the next opportunity to play at the game. Talk to yourself truthfully and fairly as if your child self is hearing everything because your inner child is the part of you who will help guide you through your transformation. Harness your courage to take the next step forward as in your next chapter you will be in perfect alignment to achieve whatever you wish.

Pile 5: Blue Butterfly - Sea of Tranquility

XV Devil, IX Hermit; Learning, Mazarin Rx, Hawk, Pixie Helpers and Green Aventurine "Just being born, makes you worthy of being here. Let yourself just be."

Good evening, pile 5. Your next transformation is a smooth and steady pace of growth. You're entering into a phase of life where you can exist and embrace the fullness of your life for how it is now, at its best. It's strange to put it like this, but with the Mazarin card in reverse it's almost as though your growth path doesn't actually involving growing in the traditional sense. So during this season you may experience a sense of regression or going backwards, and this is to brush up on old sticky lessons that need to be cleared out. I feel this lesson has to do with the fixation on self-improvement. This pile may be the type to put a lot of time into ameliorating your life and relationships. You could even be thinking about your New Year's resolution when we haven't even yet entered December at the time of this reading, just because you wanna get ahead on your to-do list planned out for next year. However, I'm seeing that your transformation will involve some pulling back and withdrawing your energies to highlight overlooked aspects.

We live in a culture of constant doing, and it makes sense that this feeling ramps up during the end of the year. There could be real engagements that require attention due to real deadlines, but sometimes our brains make up deadlines just for feeling like it makes sense to do so. The Hawk is vigilant, always keeping a sharp eye on every task and detail. For some things, you may have a lot more time than you believe you do in working something out. It's okay to occasionally sleep on something and come back to it. The Hawk also speaks about self-sabotage. Could you be putting unneeded frustration on yourself when maintaining a flexible outlook might help you reach your goals sooner? It's like if you're trying to write a song but you're not sure how to finish it: it make take less time to just put it aside and come back to it instead of straining at the same verse for hours on end.

If, during this regression, you feel lost at what to do, perhaps taking time to meditate or center your mind may be the best course of action, instead of spinning wheels to figure out the next thing. Life is not a neverending to-do list where we're meant to go from one thing to the next right away. Your transformation forward requires compassion for not being where you want to be in the present, but finding space to breathe anyway. Be more discerning with how you use your time and remember that free time isn't wasted time. It's okay if you feel stuck in a certain position, but it'll be easier to rise from that when you let yourself be and avoiding pushing too hard. Within that tranquil state, great ideas and solutions can come. We don't always need to chase for the next great problem to tackle to feel like we're making proper use of the present. There is purpose in the peace and silence of doing nothing. You will transform into somebody who understands the value of resting your thinking mind when it's needed.

Pile 6: Purple Butterfly - Joie de vivre

XIV Temperance, King of Cups; Retreat, Heart, Tiger, Laboradorite and Blue Lotus Flower "Everything is energy and energy never dies; it just transforms."

Good evening, pile 6. This pile is for the intuitive people out there! There is a lot of psychic energy in this group. Your transformation is on an almost imperceptible level, too subtle for those who are not as spiritually inclined. This could involve some kind of moment of awakening or enlightenment, but it may not necessarily be a dramatic one. You are stepping into a more mature and balanced disposition, not the kind of awakening where we suddenly get clued into to the basics of souls and spirit guides, but one that involves a shift on how you view the world as a whole. Joie de vivre means "joy of living" in French, and it refers to having a cheerful and optimistic outlook on life. You may have been working on the heavier aspects of spirituality, like doing shadow work, getting used to the idea that it's how all spirituality functions. But I'm getting a brighter view of seeing things here, realizing that nothing stays the same so that the good can come along with the bad. You'll be shifting into a spirituality that satisfies you with a sense of hope, love, joy, and community.

The Tiger represents opulence, so you may receive an abundance of psychic energy and information during your shift. This could come as automatic intuitive knowing (clairsentience), or through vivid meaningful dreams that provide deeper revelations about people and self. The Temperance card shows that this revelation is not one of fireworks but of a more intrinsic lasting sense of contentment. These are downloads meant to help you see that while spirituality isn't all sunshine and rainbows, it's also not all doom and gloom either. You may be retreating from doing the big bold kind of karmic work over this transformation period, which is okay as there is always a time for doing and not doing, and I really feel with your maturity that you've already done a lot. Now it's time to pull back from the shadow work so to find balance in between the lessons.

The secret to this transformation is non-attachment. Let the events and moments in your day come as they may. You will soon get the sense in your spirit that there is a constant inner joy that doesn't respond to external circumstances even if they're intrusive or annoying. With the unconditional compassion of Pisces, you find that bad situations that come up do not tend to last long when your heart is directing itself towards what you feel love and gratitude for, you won't be able to as easily dwell on the worst parts of the day over the best. And with less dwelling on negative parts of the past means less need to heal those parts. If something falls away, another thing will come to fill the gap. Your regenerative abilities are potent for this next phase of your life. I'm talking like this unshakeable faith in the best outcomes while feeling fine with things even when the outcome is far from ideal. This transformation is a form of wisdom that heals and will continue to heal as you gracefully move forward. Some may mention that you have an aura glow around you, which is your transformation at work.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[rainbow-crane]

I feel like if we ever do get Gravity Falls content back on the screen instead of anthology comics or ARGs I'd want it to be a movie a few years in the future. One winter break, when the twins are ~16, their parents' divorce finally comes to a head, and so, to give their kids a happy Christmas, their Grunkle Stan comes to pick them up and go back to the Mystery Shack for the winter. (A bit where Stan picks them up from outside their last day of school and Ford rolls out of the trunk the second the coast is clear would be IDEAL, but I digress.)

When they get back to Gravity Falls, Soos is missing. The rest of the movie is built around the rest of the Cipher Wheel characters banding together, us getting to see how they've grown and changed, and working together to unbury Gravity Falls' unsolved mysteries and save the handyman.

Idk that's just something I've been thinking about a lot recently. My sister and I would talk about the idea of a wrap-up made-for-tv movie when we were younger, but ever since the Book of Bill released, it's been on my mind again lol. Figured I might as well share with The People

[frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers]

Jared Bush says Frozen 3 will surprise people | Latest Updates

In an interview during D23, last weekend in Brazil, Jared Bush, the recently appointed CCO, gave away some teases about Moana 2, Zootopia 2 and the future of Encanto, but he also mentions a bit about Frozen 3.

He says:

“Yeah, yeah, Frozen 3 is coming. And from what I've seen so far [of the film] I think people are going to be surprised. I can’t give away too many spoilers, other than to say that Jennifer Lee is leading the charge and that the story and the direction that she’s taking these characters, what they’re facing, what they’re going to go through, I think is going to surprise a lot of people but it's also going to deliver on everything that people love about Frozen.”

So surprised is the word he uses to describe how we'll react to Frozen 3. That's given because as Jen has said recently that the concept art that was shown during this year's first D23 is just a glimpse of what we could see in the movie. Apart from what we make from that concept we have no clue what Frozen 3 is about and tbh I have to give it to the team for not spilling a single detail about the movie. I know we want to know more but imo I think they're saving all that content for the end of 2026 and into 2027. Maybe a few teases or better insight of the story by the end of 2025, but who knows. Probably also because they're still working on it so whatever they would have told us about the film so far, could have changed and form opinions in our heads about it which they really don't need at this current stage of production. I don't think the cast have even got the script yet as the story is still developing!

Bush also mentions that Frozen 3 is going to deliver on everything that people love about Frozen. Now that's the only real piece of information given - the focal point being on what we want to see. That's what the questions on the first D23 event were about - what we would like to see, what we feel is left to tell. We love the characters, the story, the individual arcs of those characters, the dynamics, the settings, the potential, the mystery, and so much more and so I'll take this a positive sign. That's all of what I make of it.

I know nothing major was revealed in this interview, but I still thought I'd share for those who do take into consideration these little hints and teases. Since Frozen 3's date has been pushed back from 2026 to 2027, most of the content will be given the year of the release and some the year before base done the previous two films promotion (it could be different as this movie is a two parter). I know that's quite long to think about (😭) especially with the honest disappointment that Frozen Winter Festival was not a short film or an official short series but rather just a YouTube series (which is cute nonetheless and good to see they're feeding the younger fans of the franchise), but now moving into 2025 we have 2 and bit years left so we should get more teases in interviews and events here and there.

But regarding FWF, I don't blame them too much because all their focus is on the Frozen 3 and 4 as it is being made back to back, then I'm certain it'll be worth the wait. We can still hope for some kind of Frozen content soon as we do have a couple more years to go so let's see. 🤷🏽‍♀️

P.s I have some Frozen edits I'd love to share so I'll post those if you need something new regarding Frozen. ❄️

[bg12sofia]

Day 30: Free Choice Day

Since today is the Free Choice Day and From Zero release day, I'd like to go off the rules here and leave a few words, 30 days of challenge, one Linkin Park show and one listening party later:

This is our second chance.

Linkin Park has been all about second chances for a while now, even if not directly initially. It's not the first time I mention Hybrid Theory the Portuguese tribute and it probably it won't be the last. They changed my life, got me a community, a family even among their fans. They were my second chance. A second chance to hear Linkin Park music on a concert setting, at a time when the OG band wasn't playing. Also, as someone who barely made and kept friends for the previous almost twenty years, they were my second chance to learn how to make them again, as an insecure thirty-something.

I know Hybrid Theory also represented a second chance for other people. For the members themselves, I'm pretty sure it was a second chance for making a living in music, after a few failed attempts. Also for other HT fans. The band gave a few forty-somethings or fifty-somethings a chance to go out, to have fun at shows, meet people, be young again. For two friends of mine, a married couple, the band gave them opportunities to do more stuff together as a couple, after the birth of their son. And I know of at least one couple that met through Hybrid Theory.

And now Linkin Park themselves are getting their second chance. A chance to create and put out music, to play shows, to be a band again. Emily is getting a second go at music, a second band, at 38. Many fans who didn't get to see Linkin Park live before Chester died, but now the band is back on the road and those fans have new chances. And I'm getting a second chance to see my favorite band being a band again – when there were times over the last seven years where I thought it would never happen again. No wonder Mike hasn't stopped grinning for the last two months.

Not that I've fully moved on from Chester. I'll never forget him, no one will, and it still hurts that he isn't there. In fact, he's the only one who didn't get his second chance and it's not fair. However, Linkin Park is his legacy and it lives on. I know he's happy for Mike and the rest of the band, I know he's proud of us and of how much Linkin Park does for all of us.

Ever since Linkin Park came back, fans have been talking about feeling like teenagers again, when they first met the band and Linkin Park was their entire world. I'd be lying if I said I haven't felt eighteen, twenty-two, twenty-three again. But those versions of me hadn't lost as much as I have. They hadn't seen Mike barely keeping it together during a tribute concert for his best friend. They hadn't cried themselves to sleep thinking how Chester and Mike wouldn't share a stage again. They hadn't been to a Hybrid Theory show and felt terribly guilty for enjoying live Linkin Park music sans Linkin Park, wondering if Mike and the others knew how Linkin Park music still brought people together, even if they weren't playing it themselves. Hell, those versions of me hadn't really understood properly half of Linkin Park lyrics.

Present me has been through it all, though. Present me knows how much she owes Linkin Park. She knows how bless she is to have her favorite band back and she won't ever take Linkin Park for granted again. And, if everything goes well, we get to keep them for the rest of our lives (even if they take a few years off here and there).

Thank you for this challenge, this was a lot of fun. Happy From Zero release day! I'll leave you with Two Faced because I can't get over how dorky these guys are on this video. Here's to Linkin Park!

30 Days of Linkin Park Challenge

In light of my favorite band's epic reunion, I’d like to start a challenge. 1 day = 1 post. 

Inspired by this music challenge

I would love to see other LP fans joining! Let's fill the tag with something wholesome as we are waiting for the new album Nov 15.

Day 1: A song that was your introduction to Linkin Park

Day 2: A favorite Linkin Park song that needs to be played LOUD

Day 3: A song that feels overlooked/underrated by Linkin Park fans

Day 4: A favorite Linkin Park music video

Day 5: A Linkin Park song that hasn’t got a music video but you wish it had

Day 6: A Linkin Park song that makes you happy

Day 7: A Linkin Park song that makes you sad

Day 8: A Linkin Park song that makes you want to dance

Day 9: A Linkin Park song you know all the lyrics to

Day 10: A Linkin Park song that you think everybody should listen to, even if they're not into rock

Day 11: A Linkin Park song that you never get tired of

Day 12: A Linkin Park song that you’ve listened to lots of times recently

Day 13: A favorite cover of a Linkin Park song

Day 14: A favorite live performance of a Linkin Park song

Day 15: A favorite heavy Linkin Park song 

Day 16: A favorite Linkin Park song with rapping

Day 17: A favorite ballad or/and acoustic version of a Linkin Park song

Day 18: A favorite remix from Reanimation

Day 19: A favorite song with Chester singing

Day 20: A favorite song with Mike singing

Day 21: A favorite song with Emily singing

Day 22: A favorite Linkin Park song that isn't part of the main discography

Day 23: A favorite Linkin Park song with a featured musician/vocalist

Day 24: A favorite Linkin Park song from a soundtrack

Day 25: A Linkin Park song with the most beautiful/poetic lyrics

Day 26: A Linkin Park song with the most powerful message

Day 27: A Linkin Park song that reminds you of yourself

Day 28: A Linkin Park song that reminds you of a loved one

Day 29: A Linkin Park song that you love, but rarely listen to

Day 30: Free Choice Day

[solavelyan]

I have. so many feelings about Mythal

I don't buy that they were doin' it (or if they were, it didn't last and was not very important). I was ready to be onboard with that! That's usually my jam! But the way they interact with each other physically - both during the atonement ending and in the Inquisition stinger where he kills Flemeth - comes off, like... it's intimate, obviously, but it's not an equal relationship

Solas seems to worship her, long before she ever declares herself a goddess, even. He openly decries the declared godhood of the Evanuris, but holds Mythal herself sacred. He bows his head, avoids looking her in the eye, consistently finds reasons why their shared sins are fully on his shoulders, because her mistakes couldn't possibly be her fault - and if even Mythal the All-Mother's mistakes are his fault but not hers, then why wouldn't Solas feel responsible for everyone else's welfare?

Mythal is portrayed as the ultimate mother goddess, for good and for ill. She loved and protected her children, but her Benevolence was turned to Retribution when her (arguably foolish) attempts to temper the other Evanuris rather than stop them from becoming people that needed tempering inevitably failed. A mother loves, but she also disciplines, lectures, punishes.

She hates nothing more than being wrong or contradicted. She asks a creature of Wisdom for guidance - possibly even one of the first such spirits to ever exist - while being impossible to actually convince when it matters the most, because Mother Knows Best, even thousands of years ago

I think Solas viewed her as an equal when it was true, as it may once have been, and was blind to the change when Mythal coaxed him out of the Fade and duty-bound him to betray his nature with war and atrocity. He shouldered the guilt for both of them and lived most of his physical life as both her best friend and her best servant. He worshiped her without recognizing the behavior in himself - and perhaps he did, eventually, see it, but was in too deep to stop, so devoted to her that he would trigger an apocalypse before turning away from the path she would have wanted him to follow

Boiling her down to Solas's bitch ex is just... so, so boring. Maybe it was sexual. It was clearly something, a lot of somethings. They don't act like lovers, they act like two people in a very intense relationship with a fundamentally unequal dynamic that the more "powerful" person had no interest in balancing out. Even the shade of her in the atonement ending treats him like a goddess to her champion, releasing a perpetual servant, rather than an ex finally signing the divorce papers

It just more interesting if it's religious mommy issues, I guess is what I'm saying. That says something about me, I'm sure lol

[starlightsreigns]

pray you catch me | a lemonade story

summary ⇢ mellie feels crazy. he’s not cheating on her, right? but a woman’s intuition is the most honest thing in the world, and she needs to start accepting his secrets. word count ⇢ 0.9k tags ⇢ minors, do not interact, implied cheating | one ; intuition "im praying to catch you whispering"

What are you doing, my love?

There was a vacancy in his eyes nowadays. Even now, as he pounded into me, his eyes were far away. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, feeling those familiar knots forming in my stomach, ready for release. I gripped the sheets tightly as he continued the assault in me until the ecstasy became too much. 

Silence followed us for a while. He didn’t even join me in the shower afterward. Roman stayed in the bedroom, stuck to his phone, like he had for the past couple of months. Something was off and it’s starting to concern me.

From the bathroom, as I lotioned my body, Roman’s faint voice seeped through the bottom of the door. He was whispering on the phone and my curiosity got the best of me, making me press my head against the door. Is this what it’s gotten to? I can’t ask him who he’s talking to, so I’m stooping down to the level of an insecure woman. 

“Nah, I can’t tonight, I’m… busy.” 

He gets the same call every Tuesday night. Before I can look at his phone when he’s asleep, it’s deleted from the call log, but I know what I'm feeling in my gut. He’s more secretive now and I’m not the girl who follows her man in disguises, so I have to find the trust in him. 

“Ro, you want a later dinner?” I clear my throat, entering the room again. “I can make us something.” 

Roman’s putting his clothes on when he turns to look at me, “I might go pick us somethin’ up.” 

My stomach turns. We’re not takeout people. Our diets matter too much to eat out, and he’s rarely the one to offer it. I clear my throat while tying my robe tightly. How do I question him when he’s standing right in front of me, eyes sparkling, and his beautiful smile on display?

“It’s two am, Ro, are you sure?” My question is more of a plea for him to stay. “You know I can make anything.” 

He kisses my forehead lightly, “It’s okay, Mel, I’ll be back.”   

My lonely ear pressed against the walls of your world

How is this the life I’m living now? worried that the man who I call my husband is cheating on me when we’re only two years into marriage. Roman’s different — he’s distant, quieter, and away more. he’s always been on the road, it’s his job, but nowadays, it feels like I see him even less; if that’s even possible. 

Initially, his smiling face would be the first thing I saw when he walked through the door. He’d be on his hands and knees gushing about how much he’d miss me. We’d spend every waking moment together, sharing everything. There were dinner dates, day trips, vacations, deep conversations, and just us. 

Yet, now, he doesn’t even invite me on the road with him. Now, I’m stuck at home. I wonder, and it makes me sick to think, that he’s inviting her — whoever she is. our life together is just starting and I'm accusing him of an affair, but my heart knows I'm not going crazy. I can’t be. 

It took him an hour. The food cartons sit on the kitchen table, unopened, eating is the last thing on my mind. I’m on the couch, frozen in my seat, trying to catch a single word he’s saying on the phone. He’s on the porch, telling me he had to speak to someone from work, but the conversation filled with laughs tells me otherwise. What could Paul say that makes him laugh like that? 

you can taste the dishonesty it’s all over your breath..

“Not ready for bed?” Roman asks. 

That’s the first thing he says to me after being on the phone for that long. He sits beside me on the couch and pulls me into his chest. This is the only thing I’ve wanted all day, to have him close to me and dispel any worries that I’ve had that maybe he’s cheating on me. Roman caresses my face, pressing a tender kiss on my lips, but there’s a taste on his lips that makes me draw back. 

“Did you eat… seafood tonight?” I question softly, running my finger over his lips. 

Roman chuckles, “No?” 

I nod slowly, leaning back against him. He’s telling the truth, right? 

Nothing else ever seems to hurt like the smile on your face When it's only in my memory, it don't hit me quite the same

His smile now isn’t like what it used to be. Something is missing in the way he talks to me or the way he looks at me. It’s like we’re back in the beginning but with less love. The questioning of if he really likes me, I wonder if he’ll call today or … just everything that was exciting. 

The day he got down on his knee and asked me to marry him, he made a promise that we’d always have each other, that our love would take us everywhere, and that nothing could separate us. Yet, there’s a wall that sits between us. 

She sits between us. And as easy as it is to blame whoever she is, the person destroying me is the man sitting beside me on his phone with the brightness turned down. 

Where do we go from here?

“In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3AM and lie to me. What are you hiding? The past, and the future merge to meet us here. What luck. What a fucking curse.”

not sure if i like this idea, but I'm here. what's everyone's thoughts? x

[kenziebluex]

The Broken Heart That Makes Us

Story Description: 

Your arranged marriage is on its last legs. After making an agreement with your step son, Megumi, you are puzzled when you are faced with finally making a decision.

Your whole life so far has been planned for you, leading you to struggle with the idea of moving on and finding something stable…someone stable.  

Will you finally be able to let go of the life that was made for you? Will there be others out there willing to pick up the pieces?

(18+) Pairings: Toji, Goji, Geto, Nanami, & Choso.

Chapter 1:

“Mom” Megumi said, knocking me out of my own thoughts.

“Are you okay?” 

That question was a hard one to answer. Leave it to Megumi to read me like the back of a book. We are currently on the way home after you picked him up from Jujutsu High. His last class ended at 4 and unfortunately you  didn’t make it to pick him up until 4:30. You got stuck in traffic after having a long argument with his father. If you were counting you  would say that it’s the 10th argument you have had with him this week and it’s only Wednesday

Releasing a quiet sigh you put on the same mask you always wear for Megumi.

“Yea I’m okay, how was class today?” you quickly reply, giving him your biggest smile while nudging his arm from the driver's seat. Since he recently turned 14 years old you have allowed him to sit in the passenger seat from time to time. Mostly when you pick him up from school so the other students don’t find some reason to pick on him. Megumi isn’t the most social so you do everything in your power to not be that embarrassing mom that refuses to let their kid grow up. If it was up to you he would be 14 years old forever.

 “Good..” he answered hesitantly like he had more to say. You can see him chewing on the string of his hoodie, something you know he does when he's nervous. 

“Anything else?” you question hoping he will give you a hint as to what he's thinking about. You never push but right now you are worried it’s something serious. 

“I have a tournament on Friday at 6pm.” Megumi muttered quietly.

You let out a sigh in relief that it isn’t bad news. He had you worried there for a second. Megumi has been in martial arts since he was 12 years old. You were hesitant to let him join at first but realized that you did feel better with the thought of him being able to defend himself. He fell in love with the sport and since then you have been his number one supporter attending all his events and taking him to all his practices. 

“You remember what we talked about right mom,,..I just need to know if you are serious because I am?” suddenly you begin to feel uneasy. You hadn't forgotten but maybe you just pushed it down so you wouldn’t have to think about it. You and him had an agreement, both of you frustrated with the treatment they were receiving from his father.

It wasn’t an easy decision and you have been putting it off for over 4 years now. That was until it started affecting Megumi's mental health a few years ago. Megumi was diagnosed with acute depression and was placed on small doses of medication to help with his anxiety. While he got the help he needed from a psychologist you still haven’t done your part and you knew what needed to be done.

“If he doesn’t come we have to move on.” Megumi whispered and you could feel him looking at you from the passenger seat.

Flashback

You can remember the day clearly. The day you were set to be wed to Toji Fushiguro.  When you got the call from your parents it was October 20th and you were walking into work. That morning you recall the leaves were falling from the trees at an extreme pace as the wind picked up rapidly around you.

Entering the office you were met by numerous stares and hushed whispers. You couldn’t make out many of the words but you remember hearing “married” and “Fushiguro”. You remember thinking to yourself that Fushiguro was the last name of the mafia leaders that your dad just represented in court. Your firm had managed to secure this case and it was an important one to a lot of important people. This was a case that went on for a year and lucky your firm was able to win. You didn’t think your parents would be alive right now if they failed. Even so you had no idea why everyone was looking at you.

Your questions were answered as soon as you walked into your fathers office. You were met with not only your parents but 2 middle aged men in suits along with a small boy that couldn’t be older than 12. 

You recognized the men as Toji Fushiguro and his father who you could recall having the last name Zenin. You only recognise them because they were a part of the many mafia leaders on trial that got off. You were aware of Toji having a son, who you assumed was the small boy standing next to him. 

Toji was nice to look, 6'2 but his height wasn't what you were focused on at the moment. It was his almost perfect face.

“Excuse me dad, you called me into your office, did you need something?.” you cut to the chase feeling uncomfortable standing in the room. You felt as though you were interrupting an important conversation and didn’t understand why your dad would call you into his office early in the morning. 

“Yes, gentlemen this is my lovely daughter I was telling you about” my dads voice boomed in the room as he guided me to sit in an open chair facing Toji. You could already tell by your fathers  voice he was coming up with some terrible idea. You were used to him trying to be flashy and show off to his colleagues and clients so you figured this time was no different. 

“Does she know about the agreement?” Toji said with a look not fazed by my fathers antics. 

“What agreement?” I said slightly, raising my voice looking to my father for an answer. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Toji shaking his head and his father looking unamused.

“Watch your mouth.” my father started his explanation. “You are to be wed to Toji, we have entered an arrangement with the Fushiguro/Zenin mafia. In exchange for winning the case his son would give us the honor of marrying my only daughter. We also will be greatly compensated for entering the family.” 

If you had a bottle of water you would drink it just to spit it out.

“Like hell I am” you said laughing while sitting in the chair holding your stomach from laughing so hard. What did he think this was some fucked up mafia romance novel. You knew your father was crazy but not this crazy. 

It took you a minute to recover from that mini laugh session. Tears of laughter were falling from your face. You felt a tap when you recovered that caused you to look up. You were met by the small boy in front of you holding out a water bottle. 

“My mom used to give me water when I would cry” he said in a quiet tone. 

“Thank you… what’s your name?” you said, taking the water from his hands gently. He looked very timed and you felt as though you didn't want to frighten him. 

“Megumi” he whispered while moving to stand back beside his dad. 

“Daughter, I'm serious. You are 20 years old and never had a boyfriend. You had your choice to marry wealthy. Our family could benefit substantially from this ordeal, plus you will also be greatly compensated.” my dad said with a stern voice. I used to be scared when he would use that tone of voice. You went to interject and curse him out but his next words stopped you in your tracks.

“I’m not giving you a choice here, the papers have already been signed”

What does he mean the papers have already been signed. The last time you remember signing anything was several days ago when he asked you to sign an agreement paper for him….

“You said that paperwork was so I can take lead on the next case” you said feeling deceived and knew you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up of your father seeing your true potential. 

“Technically you will still be lead on the next case” your father said chuckling to himself. 

At this point you were left speechless. You didn’t know what to do. 

You thought of crying, thought of yelling, hell you even thought of throwing something in the room. You looked around at your surroundings but stopped when you landed on Megumi's face. 

He looked terrified. Why did he look terrified?

It hit you as soon as the question popped in your brain. He was terrified of you. Megumi was scared of how you would react and for some reason you didn’t want him to be scared of you. 

Taking a deep breath you addressed the room at once. Your tone of voice cold and stern.

“When?”

Flashback Over

Since that day you and Megumi have been joint at the hip. You got married to Toji 6 years ago and the marriage has been one of the hardest things you have gone through in your 26 years of life. 

You were wed by the end of the week after having that meeting in your fathers office. The wedding was a large wedding with over 300 guests that you didn’t know. At the time you didn’t know just how wealthy the Fushiguro/Zenin mafia was but you found out that day. The venue was decorated beautifully and the itinerary was laid out nicely even though you had no say in any of the schedule or the  decorations. You were practically treated as a guest at your own wedding. 

The Zenin’s provided you with a money compensation that you have kept saved away and have only spent on Megumi’s education. You enrolled him in the finest institution to make up for the fact that he had to deal with this fucked up situation. 

Now that you think back on everything it happened so fast and life has passed you by quickly. You were still married to Toji and living in his two bedroom apartment with Megumi. Toji managed to blow through his money gambling resulting in you guys downsizing in the last few years. You offered to pay for a better living arrangement but he declined your offer. He said he preferred smaller living. 

Not that it mattered because he doesn’t return home most of the time and if he does it’s late at night. Even though Toji’s family has money and you were both compensated for the arrangement he continuously blames you and Megumi for him not being able to ‘work’. You know what he means when he says ‘work’ and you suspect that he is already taking up odd jobs which has resulted in more arguments this week. 

Focusing back to the present you realize that you have arrived home. The lights are on so you assume Toji is still inside and you just hope he has calmed down from the argument earlier.

You and Megumi get out of the car to head inside. Picking up trash in the front of the entrance as you make your way up to the 4th floor. 

You just hope for peace for the rest of the night.

✿❀○❀✿

You don’t know why you stay.

Entering the apartment you aren’t shocked anymore by the scene in front of you. The living room table and the kitchen island you just cleaned the morning before was dirty. You only left out a few hours ago so it only took less than 4 hours for Toji to create the mess. Magazines and beer bottles on the table and carry out food containers left on the kitchen island. In the corner of the living room table was a gun along with a knife and several cigarette packs. At least he had the nerve to use an ashtray for the cigarettes. Sighing loudly you tell Megumi to head to his room noticing that the boy is already moving to head that way. Just like you, he is used to a routine whenever Toji is home. 

Your body moved like it was on autopilot. You quickly looked under the cabinet for trash bags to dispose of the empty items that he left along with the magazines. Toji reads them when he's here but you notice he never takes them when he leaves. They always end up staying on the table unless you throw them out. 

The gun and the knife were another story. You accidently threw out a small knife one time by accident when you were cleaning and Toji made it his mission to remind you of it constantly that night. He was mad and in the end it resulted in you and Megumi having to get a hotel for the night to get away from the constant yelling.

“What is wrong with me?” you question yourself outloud. You should have left a long time ago and when you found out the contract expired a few weeks ago you promised Megumi that you would take him with you. You hadn’t known that the marriage contract you ‘signed’ was only good for 5 years. So while you were still married to Toji the mafia argument that binds you guys together was no longer valid. You could get a divorce finally but when it comes to the custody of  Megumi that's a different story. 

Toji knew you were planning to divorce him. He actually pre-signed the papers last week stating that he would be gone before everything was even finalized. You were nervous to even bring up the conversation of taking custody of Megumi. Would he even care?

Focusing back to the living room you stare at the clean space. Everything was clean and clear except for the gun and knife. You didn’t know what to do as you didn’t want to touch the items. You were out of gloves since the last time you had to clean blood off of a towel Toji left on the couch. 

Not wanting to leave it there, you realized you had no choice but to wake up Toji. 

Walking to the master bedroom you turned on the hall light before peaking into the bedroom. “Toji” you said weakly hoping he wouldn’t hear you. 

“I’m not sleep”

“And if I was that weak ass whisper of my name wouldn’t have woke me up.”

You roll your eyes pushing open the door to enter. Your eyes adjust to the dim light and you are met with Toji laying on his back scrolling on his phone. The thick black cover is only pulled over his mid sections and his shirt is thrown on the floor next to the bed along with his slippers he occasionally wears indoors. His abs are on full display and his black hair has grown out, making his bed hair look messier. Even though you and him don’t get along, you have eyes, he looks like a finely made roman statue. 

“Can you please get the gun and knife off the table so I can go lay down peacefully?” you said trying your hardest to be nice for the sake of Megumi in the other room.

“Why can’t you just move it?” he replied, smirking while leaning up on his elbows causing the blanket to slip off his lap. 

“My eyes are up here ma.” he continued smirking at your obvious display of checking him out. He knows he looks good which doesn’t help.

“Cut the shit, I don’t know what you have used those for. Just move them so Megumi doesn’t see them.” you gave up on being nice. Toji makes it so difficult for you to remain calm. 

“Megumi this Megumi that, a little gun isn’t gonna scare him he grew up around it.” stated Toji laying back down on the bed. 

“Please Toji.” you sighed out walking further in the room. He looked over from his phone getting a better look of you. You could see his eyes taking in your black and red sundress you rushed to throw on earlier while you were rushing out. He must have thought of something because next thing you know he’s sitting back up.

“Where were you going to lay down?” he asked, looking me over. 

“The other room.” you answered. Even though he already knew the answer. Anytime Toji was present you choose to sleep in Megumi's rooms on an air mattress you guys kept for times like this. It was easier so that you could actually get some rest. 

“I’ll make you a deal. Come lay with me and I'll move the gun.”

“Fine” you gave in too quickly like you always end up doing. That's how you find yourself laid out on the bed with a half naked Toji above you. 

Toji started leaving kisses down your neck moving slowly. He loves to tease. It's been so long since you have hooked up with each other. You were sure Toji finds company in other people but you on the other hand don’t have the time or energy to venture out. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

“Get out of your head ma,.. think later” Toji muttered while taking your left breast into his mouth. He moved further down your body leaving several marks, he always leaves marks. By now you are whining and tugging on his head trying to move him further down to where you need him.

“Toji stop teasing.” you beg resulting in him biting hard on your right thigh. Drawing a sharp hiss out of your throat. 

“Was that an order babe?” Toji said, looking up from in between my thighs. He’s in that kind of mood today. You could tell it was going to be a long night. 

“No.” you say, turning your head into the pillow next to you while he adjusts your legs over his broad shoulders. A stutter left you at the movement. 

“Look at me” he said. Turning back and looking down you were met with a sight that always makes you weak. Toji had such an intense look on his face his eyes shined with a look of hunger. His once brown eyes looked to be black. He turned back to the task at hand knowing that your eyes wouldn’t leave him.

He left a couple more kisses and marks on your thighs and legs before burying his face into the middle of your legs. Your legs shook as he swiped his tongue over your clit before moving to fuck you with his tongue. His nose is now grazing your clit as he tongue fucks you. 

“F-fuck, please” you practically scream. You would be fucking into his face if it wasn’t for the fact that your legs were over his shoulders. 

Toji always ate you out as if he was starving. His mouth and tongue never missed anywhere grazing over all the sensitive parts of your pussy.You felt like you were floating every single time. It was always messy because he loved to take his time. He loved to make a mess of you. 

“Please, please–” you were holding his hair at point, being careful not to tug. You know if you did he would stop and you didn’t want that. You were practically crying which you knew was one of Toji’s favorite things. 

“Please what doll?” he said looking into your eyes, mouth wet and you can see his tongue licking at his bottom lip getting more of a taste of you. 

“Can I cum please Toji?” you asked as you could feel a couple of tears fall onto your check. By now he has been eating you out for over 30 minutes and you have given up on acting like you didn’t need him inside you.

“Hmm,,.not yet only after you have been good to me” Toji said, moving up from the position he was in. He was now sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Get on your knees doll.” he ordered. You could barely feel your legs as you got off the bed and kneeled between his legs. You hadn’t moved quick enough for Toji because you felt his hand firmly gripping your hair tugging you closer to him. 

“Suck me” Toji said, looking down at you. He hadn’t removed his sweatpants yet but you know what he wanted. 

You placed your lips on the outline of his dick. Sucking and licking at the cotton as if it wasn’t in the way. He groaned several times lightly pulling at your hair while grinding into your face. While he was patient with you when it came to his pleasure, that was a different story. 

Toji stood up pulling his sweatpants down while still keeping a firm grip on your hair.

“Ahh, wait-” you were cut off by him practically shoving himself down your throat. You were extremely wet now and knew you had to be leaking onto the floor. He was choking you on his cock which caused more tears to stream down your face. 

His hips moved pushing him deeper in your throat while his hands worked to control your head. You could feel the tip of his dick in the back of your throat. 

Toji was well endowed and if it wasn’t for you being with him sexually for the last 6 years you knew there was no way you would be able to take him this deep. He knew this and reminded you from time to time that he has ‘trained your throat’ for him. 

The sounds in the room were deep groans from Toji and moans from you that could be heard only when he slipped out of your throat. You could tell by his movement that Toji was close. Groaning his hips jerked and he slipped back, tapping his wet cock against your tongue. 

“Fu- Swallow it” he stuttered in between his higher pitched groans. He was moaning at this point. Surely enough he emptied in your mouth without giving you a chance to take a breath until he was done. 

As you went to swallow you were yanked to stand on your legs by your throat. He had a firm grasp on your throat that almost caused me to choke. He pulled me in front of him so you only had to glance up some to see his face. 

“Now swallow” he said, his hand not leaving your throat wanting to feel you swallow his load. You swallowed looking him straight in the eyes as you did. Your eyes were still teary and your legs were weak as you stood in front of him. That seemed to not be enough for him. 

“Open” he said in almost a whisper tone. Grazing his hand against your lips he looked as if he was holding himself back to not lose control. His eyes remained black and his expression didn’t give away what he was going to do. 

Toji gently grabbed your face with his other hand while you opened your mouth, remembering to keep eye contact. He leaned down and spit directly in your mouth. Hand still around your throat as you swallowed his spit. His spit tasted like cigarettes and you can smell the beer strong from his mouth. 

‘Smack’ his hand lightly smacked your face while he spit in your mouth again. The slap wasn’t hard but it still made a sound that echoed in the room. 

“I told you to stop thinking doll, it’s okay i’ll help you relax” Toji said walking you backwards until you fell on the bed with him on top of you. 

“Do you want me to make you cum?” he said, teasing his fingers at my entrance. 

“Please, y-you promised.” you sobbed at this point needing him inside you. You felt wet and empty and knew that the only way you would get relief is if he was inside you. 

“Promised?��� he chuckled, slipping two fingers inside of you. He never starts with one knowing you will open right up for him. 

“Hmm.” he hums. 

“I don’t remember making that promise.” Toji moved on to tease your clit while his two fingers continued pumping into you at a slow rate. You were moaning into your hand while you were almost riding his fingers at this point. If he stops you, you might die.  

“I’m tired, maybe we should stop for the night doll.” he said, not looking tired at all. You knew he was testing you to see what kind of reaction he could get out of you. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction but you needed to cum. 

You moved from under him pushing him on his back so you were now on top of him. Your legs were still shaking but you moved on and you were on your knees hovered over him. 

Reaching behind, you grip his cock lining him up with your entrance. You let out a gasp as his throbbing member entered you. You forgot that Toji doesn’t need much of a recovery after cumming, his second rounds always last longer. You might have taken on more than you can handle. 

“I found the papers you had in the bedside drawer” he said, giving you one of his flashy smiles while he leaned back with his hands behind his head.

What papers? The only thing you had in the drawer was…. Oh shit

You freeze up, not moving scared of his reaction.

“Don’t stop now doll” Toji grabbed my waist moving my body up and down slowly on his cock. 

“If you do a good job i’ll sign them for you” he casually said watching your boobs move up and down because of his actions.

“You promise?” you choked out feeling tears threatening to escape your eyes. He gave you a look like he was searching for what to say. His black eyes looked like their regular  brown color as he sat up so you two were face to face. 

“I promise.” Toji whispered into your lips kissing you for the first time tonight. You can’t recall the last time you guys kissed. This kiss was passionate and you were right about his breath smelling like beer but now you were fully tasting it. You weren’t used to this kind of emotion from Toji. You didn’t even compete for dominance just wanting to feel him close to you. 

The room was filled with moans and cries as you rode him into oblivion. Motivated by him signing the papers but you were also feeling an urgent need to make this memorable. Something was telling you that this was the last time that you would be able to feel him.

 You couldn’t tell who came first but you felt it as Toji filled you up. You thanked  yourself for starting birth control recently. 

When you caught your breath you moved to clean yourself up leaving Toji in the room. You took a shower in the bathroom using hot water to relax your muscles. After washing you glanced at yourself in the mirror. 

“Jesus.” you knew Toji left plenty of marks but you looked like you had been mauled. 

Leaving the bathroom after changing into one of your night gowns you were stopped in your tracks. Toji was now lying under the covers curled up on the right side of the bed. The lamp was on by the desk and while you walked over to turn it off you noticed papers and a pen sitting on the table. 

Picking it up you realized he had actually signed it. Toji signed the custody papers giving you full custody of Megumi. 

You couldn’t help but let out a soft sob. At this point you didn’t know if you were crying tears of joy or sadness. While you were losing a marriage you were gaining something more important. You couldn’t help but to have feelings for Toji after all these years and the thought of leaving scared you as he was the only thing you have known for the last few years. Starting over was scary but you knew you needed to. 

Turning to leave the room you were stopped by a hand on your arm.

“Don’t go. Lay with me, one last time.” looking down you were met by the face of the man you married 6 years ago.

tag: @beetusbritt❤ divider by @cafekitsune art credit 1: ig: arekushisu (commission do not use) art credit 2: twitter: ayushnz_ ❀follow for more ❀ ao3: kenzieblue❀

-kenzie & des

[happinessismusic]

“I’ve been waiting and wanting to, but it’s just not that easy.” Gwen Stefani is talking to me about making new music: Aside from a holiday offering, You Make It Feel Like Christmas, in 2017, Stefani hasn’t debuted a full album in nearly a decade. All that time has cloaked Bouquet—her new record, out today—in a lot of mystery, and more than a little anticipation. “That makes me scared when you say it like that,” she says. In many ways, she’s just as excited and curious about this next chapter in her career as her fans are. “I feel so good to finally have a record that reflects the truth of who I am right this second.

That truth involved a lot of healing, a major theme of her new music. Stefani has been through it since her last pop release—notably titled This Is What the Truth Feels Like—came out in 2016, ending her 13-year marriage to musician Gavin Rossdale, with whom she shares three sons, and beginning a very public romance with country star Blake Shelton, one of her fellow judges on NBC’s popular music-competition show The Voice. She and Shelton then married in Oklahoma in 2021.

Stefani had planned to put out her fifth studio album the same year—teasing it with a single, “Let Me Reintroduce Myself,” in December 2020—but the project was scrapped. “I describe it like being in a cul-de-sac,” Stefani says now. “You’re driving and then you just hit this circle and you’re like, something’s not right.”

What has since risen from its ashes is Bouquet, an album that combines bold pop songwriting and major hooks with a little yacht rock flare. (Stefani is the queen of genre shapeshifting, after all, having launched her career with the ska-inflected pop-punk of No Doubt in the 1990s before going solo in the aughts, and helping to define that decade’s earworm-y bubblegum pop.)

“But in reality, it doesn’t matter the genre, because at the end of the day it’s all about the lyric,” she reflects. “What’s the song supposed to say and how will the music support that?” For better or worse, she had a lot to write about.

[livi-in-digital-circus]

The Abuse || a short Bunnydoll angsty story

I wrote this only because I'm having worse days now (also I started writing the new fic but I'm already stuck at the beginning of TwT)

TW: abuse

Through the glass wall of the infirmary, Ragatha stared at the guests of the Digital Circus. Once in a while, people from the real world had the chance to meet their favorite characters in person, not knowing that they were actually normal humans just like them. It was unfair that they could go home the moment their visit ended. But that was what the circus was all about. Every single member of the crew was an animal trapped in a cage, released only to perform silly and often dangerous acts.

And since Caine was especially busy when they had visitors, Ragatha couldn’t ask him to help her get back to her pristine self. Instead, she had to spend the entire day under the care of a nurse-like NPC who stuffed her with more pills, like painkillers, hour after hour. Even though the rag doll didn’t seem to have any bones in her plush body, she felt like her bruised arm was broken. Not to mention that she had vomited at least three times that day and felt dizzy all the time.

It was a pure torture.

The girls in the main area were loud enough for Ragatha to hear what they were saying, so she leaned carefully against the wall. Due to her current state, she wasn’t allowed to greet the visitors. After all, Caine had to keep the reputation of the circus at its best, and if anyone found out there was a serious case of abuse going on behind the scenes, he would lose everything he had worked on for years.

“Did you see the way he looked at me? I’m definitely his type!” One of the girls exclaimed. Her digital avatar resembled a cute Lolita-style doll, making her look like an innocent angel. Another one, Ragatha thought.

“It’s a good thing we didn’t mention our shrines full of his limited merch.” The other said, her cat ears and tail moving on their own from time to time. “But then again, who wouldn’t want lots of Jax for themselves?”

Ragatha trembled. These two clearly had no idea who they were talking about. Judging by their behavior and appearance, they were mostly underage and delusional. The rag doll looked at her arm again. She should be jealous, it was her boyfriend who was the center of attention that day.

Instead, she felt anger, especially when she heard the girls mention all the things they wanted Jax to do to them. Ragatha smiled bitterly to herself, the familiar metallic taste tickling her tongue. She had lived too long in the circus to understand today’s teenagers. Some of them were born into rich families and had everything they could wish for. It could be anything, like an expensive dress worn by many famous models, or a bottle of sweet-smelling limited edition perfume. And yet they chose to be used by none other than Jax.

Little do they know that he is a real abuser.

And abuse is not something you should wish for.

Year after year, the rabbit became more mentally unstable. Several times he promised Ragatha that he would change, that he would try to be a better boyfriend. She was very proud of Jax when he managed to go a whole week without hurting her. But when she was about to visit him in his room after one of their adventures to watch a movie, she found him torturing the little version of herself that she had made for him to hug when he felt alone.

Caine had no idea how to fix Jax. His first assumption was that he would soon abstract, but Ragatha quickly shook her head. That had been going on for a long time, with no clear signs of improvement. However, she didn’t feel any hatred for Jax, even though she was sore and bruised the last few days. She knew it was because of his poor mental health and that inside he was still the bunny she had fallen in love with.

The girls disappeared from her view after a while. Ragatha groaned as she made her way back to bed. All she wanted was to fall asleep and wake up the next day. The moment her head touched the pillow, she heard someone enter the infirmary.

“Feeling better?” Jax sat on the edge of the bed, his gloved hand gently stroking the bandage on the rag doll’s cheek. Ragatha shivered, yet her lover’s soothing touch was all she needed at the moment.

“Still a little sore, but it’s okay. Did you enjoy the meeting with the viewers?”

“Not really, this group was annoying as hell.”

“I don’t like what those girls said about you.” Though Ragatha didn’t want to tell him exactly what. She knew Jax felt bad after each time he lost control and hurt her, and she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable now that he was temporarily sane again.

Jax let out a soft laugh and pressed his lips to Ragatha’s forehead. God, she loved his kisses so much.

“I actually brought you something to drink. You must be thirsty after I… you know.”

Ragatha gladly accepted the water bottle and began to pour the liquid into her mouth. But just as she was about to stop, she felt Jax’s hands suddenly tighten around her neck, causing her to cough and choke. The taste of water and blood mixed sickeningly in her mouth.

Jax knew it was only a matter of time before she started vomiting all over the circus from the ‘water’ he gave her.

Everyone told Ragatha to break up with Jax, but she was too kindhearted to do that. He was mentally ill and she wanted to help him. She hoped that one day everything would be okay, that her boyfriend would overcome this.

And before that happens, she would be tortured in many more different ways for the next few weeks, months, or maybe even years.

Still, Ragatha would manage to survive all this. It was impossible to die in Digital Circus after all.

Thanks for reading!

(I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me for writing this ;-;)

[elsiiie]

My working theory that connects the Concrete Age Dictator concept with Foundations of Decay and Swarm

I’m writing this while high so if something I’m saying makes no sense, that’s why! But maybe it makes a lot of sense…. please let me know if you have more ideas or catch a plot hole in this theory! Would love to brainstorm more

--

This all started when I was looking through reddit and saw a lot of people thinking it was crazy for MCR to come up with SWARM concepts for 2022 tour and then just throw it away after they put so much effort into theming years ago. So as I thought of that, I was listening to foundations of decay since it’s the only song they’ve released since coming back and directly related to Swarm. I, along with many other people, originally thought Foundations was just an abstract retelling of the Band and their rise/fall. However, I think I found the connection with Foundations of Decay/Swarm with the new CONCRETE AGE/Dictator concepts coming out.

Okay so follow with me a bit. It’ll all start to make sense soon:

In foundations of decay, we start with an old man, dreaming of all the battles he’s won. 

See the man who stands upon the hill He dreams of all the battles won But fate had left its scars upon his face With all the damage they had done

We hear about the battle. There are dead soldiers, blood spilled in vain. 

Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain

Gerard says:  

Now, if your convictions were a passing faith May your ashes feed the river in the morning rays

For those fighting in this battle, this line sounds like a question of whether or not they know what they’re fighting for, perhaps a fight just to live, and if they really truly wanted that. If not, if they didn’t truly believe in what they were fighting for, then they would die, not making it through the battle. 

Then we hear about potentially another man, or perhaps the same man from beginning but younger. 

He was there, the day the towers fell And so he wandered down the road And we would all build towers of our own Only to watch the roots corrode

This is where I felt like there really were connections to the new concepts. In the new dictator concept, we know there’s a Grand Immortal Dictator and he’s recently risen to power, bringing upon the concrete age.

The Dictator stands in a tower, surrounded by towers, all built by or inhabited by the people of power, looking down upon these swarms of crowds. In my mind, that crowd of people kind of resembles all the flies in the foundations of decay visualizer, or a mass amount of vermin, swarming together to see the dictator, the king rat, etc. What makes up the foundations below these high towers the dictator are in? All of the people. 

I feel like Foundations of decay was a song passed by ancestors to (the older man) to tell story to inspire to inspire a next generation. To call for the swarm, the vermin, the people who make up the foundations to get to action. To start their last crusade, to fight for what they believe in against extinction. 

You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it swells When the storm it gains, and the sky it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away And as you stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays? And as the swarm it calls, we lay in the foundations

I really feel like Foundations of decay was the first of many new songs in this new album/new concept. In this new concept, maybe Foundations of Decay is a story told by the "Black Parade Band" in the Concreate Age world, retelling a story of battle/of revolution and asking us what we’re made of/if we’ll get up and join the fight. 

The end of Foundations of Decay is literally a conversation between someone giving up and someone call them to action:

Yes, it comforts me much more Yes, it comforts me much more To lay in the foundations of decay

& in reply, the last line

Get up, coward!

We can lay down in the comfort of complacency, or we could GET UP and fight back.

--

So really tying into the SWARM tour, there was a lot of imagery/backgorunds that resembled broken/burnt down buildings similar to the ones we saw standing in the new dictator concept. I feel like the Swarm tour was a theatrical preview of the fall of the dictator and CONCRETE AGE and the back and forth between the dictator and the swarm.

We saw a lot these character: the dictator, the secretary, the man the flower(?), and we saw them kind of decay, especially  the secretary. Some drum sets said phrases from the dicator side “SIT, STAY BEG” “BACK IN THE CAGE” while others said “KING MOB” (either a reference to the revolutionary comic book character by grant Morrison, or a real radical cultural anarchist group from London in the 1960s... both fitting for this revolutionary concept) 

(https://www.tumblr.com/107ths/766995000586272768/please-look-at-my-insane-ramblings-and-tell-me-if?source=share see here for more drum pics and other theory on this conversation between 2 groups of people and the concrete age backdrop).

There was also the Everybody Hates The Eagles https://x.com/sewerwolfs/status/1563914965072986112 noise jam. Which looking back has so many potential references to anti dicator/anti military/end of civilization concept that we’re seeing in foundations of decay and the concrete age. 

I feel like the SWARM concept was us seeing a preview of the aftermaths of a revolution, where the swarm start fighting back, decaying the foundations of the CONCRETE AGE and bringing down the dictator/secretary.

So what we’re seeing right now in the new teasers are the leadup to this giant revolutionary story. A war. We’re seeing a new dictator enter, and we know the Black Parade is being invited back to perform again. But their music might inspire something from the people that brings the dictator down…We know there’s a secret message in the teasers, and people have deciphered  one of it to say “MEN AT ATTENTION”. Maybe the black parade is leaving us secret messages to start revolutionizing, to assemble like soldiers so we can fight our last crusade. To bring down the dictator and end the concrete age.

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? OR AM I GOING CRAZY? I’m sure there’s more to cover and plot holes to figure out so please add your thoughts!

--

PS: This can just be a fun concept, or it could be like everything else Gerard has ever done and actually have a greater message about the political climate / state of the world right now. It feels like a call to realize that we are a large swarm of people who make up the foundations of our world’s towers: the government, the people in power. And without a stable foundation, those towers can and will be brought down. Do we welcome our extinction or perhaps snap out of it and fight back?

-Elsie

[quinnverse]

"It's a figure of speech, Mister Tallmadge. Do they not use sarcasm in the Colonies? No tea and no sarcasm. I can't imagine what the ladies possibly do for fun, in that case." She crossed her arms over her chest as she teased, but when he spoke, Sarah felt her chest clench. The chances of her experiencing love were not high. Not real love, at least. She might grow to care for her husband, like her own mother had, and she would certainly adore her own children, but Sarah couldn't imagine any man falling in love with her, and vice versa. The men that took interest in her were stricken in years and often unwed for a plethora of reasons. And the eligible bachelors that would suit the eldest Pleinsworth daughter didn't seem to be bothered to look in her direction.

She wanted to blame her cousin Daniel for her extended stay on the marriage mart, but Sarah loved her family and she could never hold a grudge towards him. But Lord Prentice could certainly be to blame. If the drama with Daniel and Hugh hadn't taken place, Sarah wouldn't have been forced to debut a year later. As easy as it was to blame others for her failures, Sarah knew that there was clearly something wrong with her. And if losing a suitor to her sisters' governess was anything to go off, she was certainly the problem.

She is remarkable. Sarah smirked, letting out a nasally exhale. "I can't tell if you mean my sister or Miss Wynter. For your sake, I'll assume its the latter."

Averting her gaze, Sarah nodded along with his words. Anne Wynter had been an invaluable asset to her family, whether she knew it or not. Although Sarah herself hadn't spent much time under her tutelage, she knew how caring the woman was and it was clear how much her younger sisters adored their governess. Miss Wynter had been the one to urge Harriet to write more and encouraged Frances in her creativity. Her sisters had bloomed under the guidance of Anne and losing her would be a detriment to them all.

But, if it was true love between the two of them, then it would last until Frances was uncaged and released into society. If the feelings were true, they would still love one another years later. And, if not, at least Miss Wynter would always have a place in the Pleinsworth home.

I haven't put on a good show since my college days.

"Neither has Harriet, so it might work in your favor. Besides," She sighed, giving a dramatic wave of her hand. "We couldn't expect anyone else to be the Frog Prince. You were born for the role. Or, rather, the role was born for you."

"Steal her?" Benjamin echoed, defensive. "Miss Pleinsworth, it is not stealing if you love someone -- and truly, I pray you will experience that someday. Perhaps then you will understand why I've become so foolish and out of my element, and all for the sake of just one scrap of Miss Wynter's affection."

No matter how much Benjamin wished Sarah to be incorrect, she was right: it would be a cruelty, were he to peel Anne away from the ones she loved, from the job she loved, simply because he wished to return home. Could he truly expect her to leave just because it was what he desired?

"Frances still has many years left in her schooling and Mama would never be able to find another governess of Miss Wynter’s caliber. I understand that your heart belongs to her, and perhaps hers to you, but she has responsibilities that she must commit to, love notwithstanding.”

"She is remarkable," Benjamin softly agreed. "I, myself, would behave much the same, were I in your shoes...but Miss Pleinsworth, why must you act as if I'm some scheming villain? If Miss Wynter and I leave together to the colonies, it will be with her strictest permission. And if I don't believe she would happy, I would never force her to leave. I know all too well how deeply she loves you girls."

Sarah was immovable. “Even after Frances debuts, I have a feeling she won’t be able to let her go so easily. And Harriet will need all the actors she can collect. You included.”

"Me?" Benjamin echoed, chuckling in spite of himself. "Well, be careful what you wish for, I always say... I haven't put on a good show since my college days." Expression softening, he sighed and smoothed a hand along his weskit. "This isn't the end," he promised. "Even if we were to leave, we wouldn't just never return. Your family is a part of us...Anne and I aren't just the type to forget those we love and hold dear."

[dvrtrblhr]

all the tropes/kissing in the rain/cinderella/manic pixie dream claude/etc (free day)

this is for day 7 of dmcl week. unfortunately i could only finish it today lol i kinda needed a weekend to rest. anyway, this is a direct continuation of that scene i drew in which dimitri says he's got claude under his control etc. it's part of one of my secret stash of fics :p

scene below!

TW: drunk!claude

Claude almost stumbled but quickly regained his balance. He grinned at Dimitri, a challenging expression that stirred something within him.

Then, without hesitation, he dashed into the courtyard, embracing the downpour. Water clung to his clothes, his hair plastered against his forehead and neck, his eyes gleaming like stars.

"I don't fear you," he shouted over the rain, his voice barely audible. "Lock me up? I dare you! I'll vanish from your life so swiftly, you'll never find me again."

Dimitri watched, utterly captivated, as water cascaded down Claude's skin, soaking into his fine clothes. Claude's smile held that mysterious, mischievous allure, drawing Dimitri in like an enigmatic, otherworldly force.

"You'll never have my heart like that, Dimitri!" Claude's words echoed through the courtyard, punctuated by laughter.

“Claude, please get out of the rain. You will get sick like that. You are not— Not in Derdriu anymore,” Dimitri implored.

"Come get me," Claude challenged, his tone daring and playful.

Dimitri closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Claude's waist and lifting him from the rain-soaked ground. Claude let out a yelp of surprise, his arms instinctively encircling Dimitri's shoulders.

As Dimitri carried Claude toward shelter, their lips met in an unexpected kiss, raindrops mingling with the warmth of their mouths. When Claude finally pulled away, a contented smile graced his lips.

"I'm glad I'm not in Derdriu anymore," he confessed.

"I'm glad... that you're glad," Dimitri replied, as puzzled by Claude as always. "You're quite intoxicated, aren't you?"

"Just a little," Claude chuckled, clinging to Dimitri with both his arms and legs. “You smell so nice…”

Dimitri sighed, carrying Claude out of the rain and into the dry hallway. "I'm sorry for losing my patience," he apologized as he set Claude down and released him. "And for being possessive. I wish I were a better man."

"But then you'd be dull," Claude retorted, shrugging. "I'm not perfect either. And I won't apologize for it, because that's just not my style."

[peepersponies]

Also can I just say, the fact that core refresh and monster fest hit shelves around the same time is a TRAVESTY of logistical planning on Mattel's part. I know CR clawdeen and drac trickled out a bit earlier than the rest, but even still that's TEN high production value dolls all hitting the shelves within a few months of each other. So few people can afford to buy all of those! And even if they can afford it, consumption has diminishing returns. It's practically begging people to get burned out and stop caring. Which is tragic, because I think these lines are fucking awesome!

It's not just monster high honestly, it's symptomatic of the entire Overconsumption Culture we have going on right now. And it makes me sad.

[tsenya]

weekly music roundup ! no. 1

new:

cradle - dua saleh

no name - intentions

who's who - frex

undo - 4bout

trevi freestyle - sofi de la torre

reruns:

new phrase - oskar o.

fool's gold - aries

we'll be alright - ilham

seatbelt - brevin kim; halfoff

stomp - cosette