#i feel like im in mourning
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I lied about coping normally
#i feel like im in mourning#as if this real person that i knew and loved is fully gone#i really want to cry but it feels so silly#I'm not even caught up in the current arc#i havent taken the time to watch the nether stuff yet#everything i know came from my dadh#but#fuck man this isnt fair#i wish forever the best in his future projects and hope i can enjoy them#...yeah#it feels like im going through trauma#does that make sense?#im going through trauma over a minecraft character#...maybe i should try out the tetris method tomorrow
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#honkai star rail#hsr dr ratio#hsr aventurine#ratiorine#aventio#whatever other ship name they have. i saw like 4 THATS ENOUGH! /j#making horrible memes to speed up the time (aventurine banner please hurry)#Its not working. I cry every day i wake up hes still not here#Why do i always talk about him like im mourning him .#sorry im ramblinf Anyways . Here#★ my art#art#★ animations#my sona (a sliver) (aventurine sniped them with the water bottle if u didnt see that)#do i reblog too much?am i annoying yall? sorrryyyy……..#i reblog like everysingle aventurine related thing ever i feel like itd put 1 of my followers into a coma
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My dash is very sad right now and I get it, it feels like the end. But please understand and appreciate that I do not share the sentiments that this is 'it'.
This is allllll too very fishy and weird and the more I think about it, the more i step away from the emotion of it all. The more I'm sticking to my guns that this isn't over.
This is entirely the media's fault.
They kept badgering him while he was mentally and physically exhausted. If he kept hearing it over and over- we can't blame him for starting to believe it.
Anyhoo. I hope he has a lovely break at home, fills his cup and lets his team deal with holding RBR/VCARB responsible for this shit storm. And when he comes to work in COTA I hope he's tanned and happy and doing the most.
#i guess i'll put this in the main tag. this is all im going to say about it on the dash#if you wanna compare notes or just tell each other 'exactly' please feel free to dm me or message me in discord.#im hesitant about asks but if thats how you feel the most comfortable reaching out then sure#but im not gonna like... extend your sadness/depression/pity party if you are having one#if youre looking for someone to mourn with. its not me#daniel ricciardo#dr3#my post
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i always take co-star with a pinch of salt but idk this rly spoke to me rn
#idk i feel like im realising a lot about myself as i grow older and experience people / myself in different settings and teenagehood was#about trying to figure out who i am in those settings and idk if i have figured it out but i know a bit more abt myself now#and idk this phase of my life is very strange i feel like im shedding a past self perhaps#im doing okay but mourning myself / people who used to be in my life i guess#diary#tiyas thoughts
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𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ➸ irulanne . the rook .
𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 . 𝐄𝐋𝐅 . 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 .
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#oc: irulanne#leg.ocs#leg.edits#*myedits#*ocedit#dragon age rook#da:tv#datv#my necromancer !!!!!!! my baby she’s here!!#teehee the first of the rooks !! so far i have 4 on standby for the fall the brainworms are brainwormingg jnhdkhnsk#spot the lucanne reference hehee twas a must to add something of luca in there he and lanna have had me in a CHOKEHOLD all a week hehe <3#colorings by cavalier remainn ICONIC andd SPEAKING OF WHICH THIS TEMPLATE GOLLY HOLLY#ty tyy orion this template was SOO good *screams* i had SO much fun working with it!!!!!#alsoo the official tarot for necromancers / mages / sidony from inky youll always be loved by MEE.#i am not sure if i want to go too much into her lore yet as its so early but the brainrot is brainrotting and i have SOO many thoughts!!#her history her lore how i see her interacting with the world and the world with her lanna's personality and her dynamic with luca AHHHH#*rattling the bars of my cage* FALL COME SOONER !!#lanna has had the braincell for the week STRAIGHT hdbjh <33#the high stakes tennis match between dragon show and dragon game brainrot hehe <33#ill hopefully have something for them too soooon I MISSED THEMM SO MUCHH#her lighthouse outfit + luca's outfit hehe couples that wear *almost* matching outfits thats soulmates or something (im normal) HEHEE#her name (hopefully the last time i change it djksncks) is inspired by i*rulan from d*une !!#an arcane prodigy entering her girlfailure era <33 girlbossed too close to the sun if u will JNDKJDSN#seemingly puts on an air of confidence but hides BIIIG time nervous wreck energy shes gonna take messing things up well i can feel it :')#i feel like a lot of clothes for her are sort of reminiscent of her time in the mourn watchers? all based on aspects of the dead??#like bones or etc?? but i also love that she could be a lightning learning mage with other magic so she takes to that more ethereal nature#to her style !! she’s also a BIG fan of the opera and was sort of praised as this golden child an arcane prodigy#the gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline she is really feeling it now 🥀����#hi hi moots if u read all that i am baking you cookies as we speak THERES SO MUCH MORE LOREE on her i have im screaming she’s everythingg#AHH IT WORKED IT POSTED <33 so so happy i can yell about her now HEHE 🥀💌
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andrzej sapkowski in the witcher presents his reader with many curious and refreshing takes on the fantasy genre, such as "what if dragons were good" and "what if elves were incels"
#i joke it's more like what if the ethereal being had angsty mournful man feelings#that he has feelings but can't work through them because#overemotionality is considered base and human so he's basically been bottling all of this for centuries#the elbow-high diaries#plus that his only purpose was really to be with lara and now she's gone and so what does that make him#i'm not getting all MRA lmaoooo what i'm saying is that there needs to be two to make a baby so he was one-half of that#and destiny didn't work out as planned so ... this is all that's left#reading ch 5 of lotl for the first time: THIS IS SO MESSED UP WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO CIRI!!!#reading ch 5 of lotl again and again: my god EVERYONE here is so messed up and SAD. well except eredin#eredin is like cool im gonna go fight a unicorn#'what are you talking about he wanted to kill auberon?' but not in a very intelligent way he was like to ciri 'so you wanna... kill him?'#imo book eredin is kind of a meathead and it's kind of refreshing with all these 4D chess players around
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i realized i've never drawn majima with two eyes before so i did a little redraw
#yakuza#like a dragon#majima goro#i think about this translation choice every day and i mourn it greatly#anyway. hi. its been a while since i drew anything i felt was worth posting but here we are#im really happy with this :] his face can be a little tricky to get right sometimes#so when i do feel happy w how i draw him im like yayyy
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Huevember 11
Karen and Rick but in the DND AU. (I just look at this and think 'Barbie learned eldritch blast' but ya know. Whatever.)
#my characters#oops i fell in love#shocking zero people rick is one of the most side characters you can side aside from erin#like at least he appears in canon OIFIL#he and karen are platonic soul mates for the record and that is SO important to me#karen is always surrounded by guys and decides to try a dating app and then matches with rick#and is like omg what a handsome guy ??? score?#and then goes on a date with him and is like sorry but has ANYONE told you that you're way cuter in person#and he is like excuse me? is that bad?#and she is just so devastated to explain sorry man you just make me want to treat you like a brother#i cant help it - youve got a stellar profile pic but dang the real deal is just. cute. bummer#and then they ghost each other and then they match on a different app#and after a while they start to meet up after matching but in a strictly friendly way to mourn the shot at romance#also karen is surrounded by bisexuals but is straight and then meets rick who is also straight and shes like#really im not shocked im feeling NOTHING for the only other straight person in my life#im going to go lie in a bag and sleep i hope#gotta take care of me and me has a headache#so i guess i should go get more water before death i mean sleep#idk why my hues are only for oifil ??? brain no work with hues and fanart ???
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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broke: start a new game as a different character when finishing veilguard
woke: get too attached to current rook and instead just make them and the crew in the sims 4
#i havent finished the game yet but i feel like im getting there soon and im legitimately considering this#my rook is a mourn watch death caller and romances lucanis so the new death expansion w the death stuff and all the crows would be PERFECT!!#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#datv#datvg#davg#dragon age
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once again i am thinking about the tragedy in little women. like in the text itself and in the 2019 movie. how beth has to die. there’s no way around it. all of the girls get to grow up, except beth. beth represents childhood, even if she’s not exactly the youngest, she’s the most childlike—still carrying that doll around and having that inherent goodness about her, that naïveté about her. “beth was the best of us.” beth must die, because she represents their childhood and her death signifies their change into adulthood.
and even then, it’s jo who tries her damndest to stop it. “i’ll stop it. i’ve stopped it before.” “god hasn’t met my will yet. what jo wills shall be done.” jo march will do all that she can, she will fight and kick and scream to keep time from marching on. she will not allow it. she will cling to her childhood, and beth, as long as she possibly can. so in order for her to grow up, beth must die.
#and it’s almost like beth is somehow aware of this too.#in the book it’s even more devastating bc it’s something like ‘even the birds seemed to mourn beth’s passing’#like it’s truly devastating#i’ve probably said something like this before but i don’t care im rewatching little women AGAIN and crying AGAIN#anytime i feel lost i find my way back to little women!!!!#little women#beth march#jo march#little women 2019#i need to reread the book asap
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a reason i want to commit suicide is because i want to die while i still have people to mourn me, i want to die before anyone i care about can die because i won't survive the loss of them, death is the ultimate abandonment to me and i don't want it to happen it'll drive me more insane than i already am, i need to die before anyone can, i need to die while i still have people who love me
#does anyone understand this#idk. i feel like my dad is the only one who understands me in a sense and when he dies i genuinely wont survive it i rather i die#and he have to mourn me#and i want to die before my bf can leave me#im so dependent on other people#bpd#actually borderline#vent//
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Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.
Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.
I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.
And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.
#hazbin hotel critical#not putting this in the main tag#i wouldnt call myself a fan but i guess i can mourn what could have been#not considering viv and her controversities for a second... the pilot had a very nice feeling to it#that the series was not able to replicate#i think my liking of mimzy should come as a surprise to NO ONE LMAOOOO#i love evil selfish women im sorry ... sue me#we need to save mimzy sir pen and cherribomb from hazbin everyone else can rot#ok in all fairness i will give the show credit for ONE thing#i kind of enjoyed adam and lute as antagonists. adam is insufferable which is awesome#it makes it easy to hate him as a villain. and lute being his right hand woman makes sense#they read like a christian couple (term used loosely) where the man is a misogynistic asshole and the woman just kinda endorses it#which is perfect if you wanna make a critique of heaven and the humans who go in it because they repented or whatever#i always love dumbass villains who are easy to hate (mamoon from helluva being another example of a villain i enjoy)#thats it. thats all i have in terms of compliments#would love to adress the Angel Dust controversy because as a victim of SA (and CSA) myself I think there is nuance to be found in --#-- having a discussion about how we see survivors and how we portray the abuse they endure#i was an unconventional victim too. i kind of see a glimpse of me in Angel which is why I was LIVID when I got the full picture of the --#-- situation. but still
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i’m gonna take my nap and then just not wake up
#— yap central#This just feels like they’re shitting on his entire character#im not saying the ending to a story HAS to be happy or satisfying#but Gojo deserved so much better let’s bffr#so much symbolism and teasing and edging#all for us to get a heartbreaking flashback where he’s like ‘yeeeh people are gonna forget me’#no one has mentioned him#no one has mourned him#no one has cried over him#like wth kind of ending is that for a character regardless?#we get it Gege you hate Gojo#lowkey feels like it is done out of spite…#I do not see the reasoning behind it#like it could have been executed so much better but this just seems to be purely to take a piss?#am I being too harsh or unreasonable here? please tell me if I am the crazy one here#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk 271
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She is everything to me.
#im having a hard time today#my anxiety has skyrocketed#i can barely sleep at night#running a buisness is so fucking hard#im always stressed about finances clients training plans marketing and everything else#then my girl my heart and soul is aging#E called her an older girl yesterday and something in me broke more#she is slowing down and i think the arthritis in her elbows is more consistently bothering her#she is getting more anxious and fearful#and i feel like the part of my heart that she holds is already mourning its terrified#she is healthy#she is happy#yet she has this weird tuft of fur on her side that is unlike the rest of her coat#is it old dog coat that won't shed anymore? its longer than normal#i am retiring her from obedience this year#ASCA nationals is probably the last time I'll step into the obedience ring with her#it makes me so sad#my girl#my best girl
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There's something so devastating about becoming chronically ill in your teens because everyone around you is still young and healthy and can't relate to or sympathize with your situation, so you're essentially just left to learn that no matter what there will always be a part of yourself that alienates you from everyone else you know
#chronic illness#disability#fibromyalgia#chronic pain#honestly i wish i had a chronically ill friend#because it feels like im just being made to go through this entire process alone#like everyones uncomfortable when i bring up my pain#but they dont realize that im mourning#like ill never really get the chance to do anything i wanted to do#i had to quit so many things already and its only getting worse#i just wish i was normal#tbh#My post
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