#i feel like im going fucking insane
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Idk i love my guy fucked up and bloody <3
Something a lot of people have been pointing out is that PVPEvbo acts a LOT more immature and got called "kid" multiple times, he is Very teenager/early adult coded to me, like 19ish, and yet he is stuck in the cycle of death and violence, a chosen one who cant even save himself
and then there is pkc evbo who is kinda just vibing, like he is OBVIOUSLY not without his issues but he made it, he healed the world as best as he could and he is living pretty solidly, he made it forward by his own motivation and determination, where as pvp!Evbo felt more driven by external forces
#pvp civilization#pvp civ#parkour civilization#parkour civilisation fanart#evbo#evbo fanart#i feel like im going fucking INSANE
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Re that last rb, it's fucking maddening trying to expose Zionists without them crying antisemitism because they purposefully entrench themselves in and perpetuate antisemitic stereotypes. Then, when you point this out, they play victim like they weren't the ones playing toys in the sandbox of blood libel and media control stereotypes to begin with.
Obviously it's a very insidious and clever tactic, but jesus fucking christ there is no good way to break through the walls of it, and anti-Zionist Jewish activists and communities are suffering for it. Zionists claim to want to protect Jewish lives, but all they're doing is endangering them while they rabidly celebrate genocide.
#i feel like im going fucking insane#free palestine#end israel's genocide#gaza#free gaza#anti zionisim
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good morning ive already been awake for 3 hours trying to study for a test at 10 but i literally just realized how horribly dark my eye bags are
#its amazing what almost two weeks of little to no sleep will do to a person#i feel like im going fucking insane
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What's fucking wrong with me man. What a pathetic fucking life.
#ik whats wrong really#its multiple diagnosed mental illnesses#but it still doesnt explain it all#people seem very confident online that it is possible to live normally with these conditions and yet i dont#i feel like im going fucking insane#and i do it alone#i have no control over my life. i hate myself. my friends ignore me. my living condition fucking sucks. weed is too expensive.#fuck man i just cant anymore#i need things to get better and yet they never do#i fall back into the old patterns every time no matter how hard i try to crawl out#because the new patterns make me feel even worse. even more alone. even sicker.#talky#literally nothing#vent#please i just cant do it forever#how am i supposed to fix myself. how am i supposed to be happy. if when i try it means all my friends vanish.#when it makes me feel so fucking miserable#fuck. man. please just kill me
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i need to get blasted with vegetables fucking stat
#personal#gonna walk into my fucking doctors appointment tomorrow and theyre gonna tell me i have vitamin deficiencies out the fucking wazoo#n im gonna be like yeah :)) i wonder why :)) thats happening :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))#rolling things over in my head im losing my mind fr fr#i am so hungry. i am so starved i literally want to eat so bad but there is fucking. there is fucking nothing with any taste in this house#im going to pop open the frozen broccoli in the freezer and stuff the entire bag into my fucking mouth. my brain is numbing as we speak#i FEEL like im going fucking INSANE#smashes my head into the fucking walls i need to find something to put in my mouth before my head explouds
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the hill that i will die on is that cas would have never said he loved dean if he had to deal with the consequences of it afterwards, meanwhile dean (who was SUPPOSED to tell cas he loved him in the original crypt scene script) would have eventually worked up to saying it without external pressure
#listen#LISTEN#i know there's a bunch of takes out there that basically amount to dean being too emotionally stunted to know what he's feeling#but dean's problem has always been being TOO connected to his emotions and being unable to process that#meanwhile cas our sexy avoidant king and chronic ghoster would rather die than acknowledge something that big#like are we forgetting that cas's big move after fucking everything up was to go insane and basically not deal with the problem#meanwhile dean is trying to have a heart to heart with every family member love interest and pseudo adopted daughter every six seconds#ANYWAY yeah#if cas hadn't have made a deal with the empty and if that deal didn't ultimately conveniently correlate with saving dean's life?#cas wouldn't have said shit#FREAK <3#mean while dean winchester (WHO HAD MORE TO SAY IN PURGATORY!) would have eventually worked his way up to it#and im not saying he'd handle it well bc he'd probably drop it and then be weird about it forever#but he's more likely to be the first to acknowledge it if they weren't being pressured by outside forces#dean studies#cas studies#im so fucking normal about them#dean winchester#castiel
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i think that if kabru saw that “laios meeting falin for the first time” strip he’d be sobbing uncontrollably
#feels like it is SO fundamental to understanding laios on a deep level#idk something about not expecting ‘common sense’ from babies#something about how he is so deeply laios. maybe im just projecting#but that comic resonates with me SO hard#the lack of expression (taking her in) and the way he looks up for permission#and by that time his father already knows? that hes looking for permission to leave. he doesnt say it. he just looks.#and then! he runs to his kitty! and whispers like its a secret! hes a big brother now kitty!#and he whispers to the chickens! he’s got a little sister chickens! shes called falin doggies!#to see laios as an adult and to know he cares for his sister is par for the course#to see that he was enamored with her the second he met her and told all of his friends is just. fuck#they tell you many times in the series that these siblings care for each other above ALL ELSE#like knowing that all people die is separate from knowing there is no reality for either of them that doesnt contain their sibling#im going insane over the touden siblings#but i think kabru would go through these same motions and cry idk#dunmeshi#labru#if you squint#kabru of utaya#laios touden#falin touden#dungeon meshi#bumblysdumbly
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In the what we do in the shadows ending (alternate version 2) at one point Armand will randomly spawn and instead of canon nandermo we'll have canon armandermo as foreshadowed in episode 1x01
#i feel like im going insane#this has to be a fever dream#what the fuck do you mean 3 alternate endings#and what does that even mean in the context of a documentary#wwdits#nandermo#what we do in the shadows
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even ignoring all the issues with the idea that the gods are colonizers: did we just forget that a part of the plan to release predathos was having the kreviris imperium come to exandria, a land they claim is "promised to them" and refer to the people living on it as "rodents" and all but use the actual word colonize to describe what they are planning to do??? is that not kind of an insane thing to just ignore in this scenario???
#critical role#cr discourse#i guess#LIKE THE WEAVE MIND LITERALLY TOLD THE MIGHTY NEIN THEYRE GONNA COLONIZE EXANDRIA I FEEL LIKE IM GOING INSANE!!!#WHAT ARE WE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT MAN
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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I very distinctly remember an older fan warning younger fans away from Gaiman on this very platform during the bathtub picture incident. I remember because she pointed out that his lack of boundaries was a huge red flag. So even if we don't have any proof that we "knew," the signs were always there and people chose to dismiss them. And that, too, is part of rape culture.
2012 Tumblr picture incident for reference
#neil gaiman#when he married ap i thought it might be a career move but actually he wanted access to her fans for sex purposes as well!#im really angry actually#she was so right#i feel like we failed his victims#thank god other people remember this i feel like im going fucking insane
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Nomura was insane for that statement he made. I know I should be focused on the foreteller part of it but I'm stuck on the inspiration for so much coming from the story of an American blues musician meeting with the devil to get guitar skills.
Like on one hand. Darkness/mom, mom/foretellers, marluxia/sora, mom/xehanort and xehanort/terra all being the devil and guitar player throughout the series imo. But also all I can think about is the devil went down to gerogia because that is so xehanort and sora to me in kh3 like is that literally not their vibe and it's also such a hysterical vision in my mind. I'm sorry like:
"Well, that ol' Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden fiddle down on the ground at Johnny's feet
Johnny said, "Devil, come on back if you ever wanna try again"
Also "this means demyx is mom" I will kms if that's the truth. I think its funnier if demyx also somehow "made a deal with the devil" but he's the only literal interpretation of this story in kh and that's why he has a sitar it would incredibly hilarious
[Edit] tumblr mobile is being a dick not letting me add a link here's what Nomura said irt BBS 15th anniversary on twt:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4184c0efddd5ba8910e976005a8901d0/92ceb440fc2daf67-24/s540x810/5af9ef958d62d83eae0a8fea1c6b4392bb791a1d.jpg)
#also bbs com and ux are my favorite games so him talking about them specifically like. im fucking WINNING#nomura drawing from american music also not new since he's reaponsible for frank sinatra in stranger of paradise lol#my friends know I went down the rabbit hole of christian game reviews of kh and christians love kh as a god honoring game#so those guys are winning too#anyway later I'll go back and put this all under a microscope for foreteller purposes#SORRY I FEEL INSANE I WANTED TO SAY MORE ABOUT SORA AND XEHANORT BUT DIDNT WANT TO LOSE THE PLOT#kh#khux#im rambling#khux essay#kh3
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cute date idea: feel a bit homesick while watching aurora borealis for a bit before absolutely destroying yourselves on black sand
#i love when theyre stupid like this in ep[REDACTED]#good stuff. gill healing them just so they can keep going is so fkn incredible#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jrwi fish and chips#my art#*colors a sketch* *colors a sketch* *colors a sketch* *colors a sketch* *colors a sketch* *colors a sketch*#ive drawn so much shit today#i feel absolutely insane and damn i havent gotten through any eps bc ive been too busy drawing the fuckers damn#its been like 10h of mostly just drawing them. im so sane im so fucking normal im so fucking normal im sooooo sane
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I feel like such a whore every time Aaron Hotchner pops up on my screen. idgaf what he's doing zero thoughts occur when I'm looking at him. Say more baby, idk what you're saying but I'm listening.
#mish yaps#aaron hotchner#i feel like im going insane#he's just so fucking hot#how am i meant to function????
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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So. I wanted to get some perspective on how quickly jayvik has risen in popularity recently and well. coming home has more kudos than the highest rated spock/kirk fic on ao3 and is neck and neck with the second highest rated destiel fic. congrats queen.
im going to have. a panic attack
#WHLKSDJFH DJK WHAT#OH MY GOD#i mean no i appreciate you telling me#i am so grateful#but what the fuck do you mean#what do you MEAN#that cant be right#what#brain is going brrrrr? !!?! WHAT#no#absolutely not#sorry im a little tipsy#mayhaps i'm not responding with my usual customer service tone#whwhwwhhwhwhwhhw#what if this is my legacy#oh god#no no this is good#listen i am so damn grateful and shocked#but also i need a walk and a cigarette and like#an ice bath or something#this is incomprehensible to me#i feel like you just tried to show a medieval shopkeeper an ipad#like wow thats really cool#im going to throw up#DSKLFHSDKJLF#oh god i fact checked this it looks correct#jesus christ#oh my god that destiel fic you were talking about i've fucking READ when I was in my early fandom days#this makes me feel insane#mostly a good feeling but also liek
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