#i feel like i'm back in high school

[longroadstonowhere]

that was a hell of an entrance but why were you in the candy castle??????

[bogkeep]

since there's an impressionist royal portrait in the zeitgeist right now, do you wanna hear about one of my fav norwegian oil painters........ his name is håkon gullvåg and he's painted portraits of the norwegian king and queen and they look like this

which were pretty controversial at the time (the year 2000), but i was too baby to know anything about it!

(the headline says "UNDIGNIFIED!")

i first heard of him when he was on the news for a completely different controversy around the years 2008/2009 - his exhibition titled 'the holy land'/'terra sancta' which was a series of paintings he had painted in a wild unstoppable rage over the injustices he had seen palestinians suffer. at one of the exhibitions in syra, two of the paintings got removed by the french embassy, and i think never returned to him? i'm finding it surprisingly difficult to hunt down the story without knowing exactly what to look for, but i did dig up this article. i was still a young teen at the time so i didn't know much about the context, but in recent times i've been thinking about these paintings a lot. i'll add the Controversial Paintings under the cut:

[writterings]

me with my 18 year old students that i teach at a college

[map-of-obsessions]

Is it cringe to say that nerdy prudes has dredged up so many weird emotions for me. Like damn high school really WAS killing me and growing up a loser really sucked

[zephyra-in-the-house]

Progress report?

🥺(u can't resist my eyes )

At the moment, I'm probably about half way done with this chapter. I have almost all of the sketching done so now it's just a matter of doing small connecting scenes and then writing and editing it out.

I apologize for the long wait! I know it's been over 2 months now (holy cow it's been over 2 months 😭) but I am steadily working on it. I've been traveling a lot this month and I just got a new job so I've been running around like crazy 😅

Worry not though! I'm still working on it so I should hopefully be done in the next few weeks.

Thank you!

[fluentisonus]

working full time with normal hours has convinced me more than ever that actually high school Could have been a sane & even enjoyable time for me if it weren't for the homework. sick & twisted tbh

[princess-fairytales]

Does anyone else keep switching between I can't relate to people my age at all and have a much bigger sense of responsibility and omg I'm so far behind for my age?

[cradle-of-darkness]

COOKIES OF DARKNESS NATION WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💥💥���💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

(long rambling in tags if u care)

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[sunsunbauds]

screaming crying throwing up about how i can never go back and relive my childhood and teen years with the knowledge and emotional maturity and self-assurance that i have now

[cactusdying]

guys i'm going to be real i dobn't think i expected this kind of direction for the lore update

[yzafre]

This post sponsored by the youtube vid title I saw referring to Aqua as "mom" my teeth are set on edge and I'm eying it suspiciously because I DON'T trust it. I've seen that "oh, she's the mom-friend and the only one with her life together, just going around picking up the boys' messes" opinion too many times, I am hissing warily.

That's way too simplified, stop reducing her depth, she's much more complicated and also even inside the mom-energy she admittedly has, it's like. Hm.

She does have some mom-energy (affectionate) but I think she also has mom-energy (derogatory). Y'know?

[thewhizzyhead]

you know the more I think about it, the more I think the scene before "If I Loved You" is steph's um silly roundabout attempt to more solidly confirm if Pete could be into her (and have him admit it and make a move already) after like I dunno many other of her attempts in flirting with Pete and asking him out, and then IMMEDIATELY backtracking into "pft I'm a bad bitch I would NEVER go out with a GEEK like you like I need a REAL man pfft" mode in "If I Loved You" after Pete seems to deny him ever wanting to go out with Steph - even though he actually never fucking denies it LIKE HE LEGIT NEVER DOES BOTH IN DIALOGUE AND IN SONG LIKE "who says i wanna go on a date with you anyways?", says pete in a defensive tone with folded arms while looking away from steph after she called him out for not asking her out yet like holy fuck I find this hilariously cute and somehow extremely fucking accurate for teen couples that share this stubbornly defensive i-refuse-to-admit-shit dynamic

[doctorweebmd]

so there's this post floating around about like, feeling like an outsider even in a group of outsiders and i almost reblogged it being like

'aha i do that'

except. like. i know exactly why that happens, and its 100% my fault

i just have trouble maintaining relationships because i'm a poor communicator. that's been the case since high school. i dont really initiate conversations or remember to text or call people. its not from a place of indifference or anything like that - i'm sincerely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of person.

i can not talk to and not see someone for months or years but my feelings for them don't change. it doesn't bother me if people dont check in on me or don't hang out with me or don't text me. i still like them. unfortunately that is not how 99% of the population communicates. people (rightfully) assume that when someone doesn't initiate conversation or hang-outs or doesn't check in on you, that they don't care about you. for me, thats not the case at all. like if i like you and consider you my friend, you are ALWAYS my friend. i would do anything for you and would be more than happy to talk/see each other/support you/etc. its just the day-to-day communication that i really struggle with. but thats how most relationships form - regular, consistent communication.

i've gone through periods of extreme guilt for this where i sincerely try, and make new friends, and re-connect with texting and phone calls and hanging out more often but inevitably something happens, i get busy or i forget and suddenly all this time passes and people think i dont care anymore. unfortunately that's not the case whatsoever - time is kind of abstract to me and i dont understand that while my feelings don't change, others feel more distant or abandoned.

and i've really hurt people in my life like that. friends that i've known for many years from high school/college are a LITTLE more forgiving because they know i'm just 'like that' but still. it does hurt people. like i haven't spoken to my dad in probably at least a year - not because i dont love him, but because of that same reason. he doesn't reach out and i forget and it just steamrolls because he gets hurt, doesn't reach out because he thinks i'm intentionally 'ignoring' him, and i continue to forget, and its just this viscous cycle. i haven't talked to my grandparents in months. my mom knows better and texts me every week or so, but it still hurts her that she has to reach out so regularly. she also plays these games where she sees how 'long' it takes for me to remember to reach out. a lot of people in my life have done that. its like i'm being tested on something without ever being told its a standard test, ya know? i'm always destined to fail it because i dont know how long is too long. at which point will the time and distance be unacceptable? i still dont know the answer.

and i think it makes me come off as a really heartless and callous person. its made me kind of keep people at arms-length because i know i'm not capable of being a part of most people's lives. i have perfectly normal and pleasant relationships with my coworkers and all that, but i'm generally not close with them. and i can see the confusion, because we hang out and i'm pretty normal or whatever and we have fun and then they don't hear from me for months and they're like 'uhhhh.... okay? so i guess you don't like me?'

i do. i just have different relationship maintenance standards than others i guess. so i just overall avoid being around others just because i know i'll disappoint them. it is what it is but it really is sad, in a way.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I just came fifth place in a raffle of only four people.

I'm in a discord server of artists and their regular customers who are moving from twitter to bluesky. Thing is, bluesky is invite only, and new users only get one invite code per week, so the mods on the server agreed to hold a raffle so the invites would be assigned randomly instead of just to friends. For weeks I've languished while other people were chosen, and today it came down to me and three other people with three available codes.

Guess who drew the short straw.

C'est la vie. Somebody has to be last, so it may as well be me, right? This means I'm the only person who doesn't have a code yet, so the mods tell me that the next one is mine, gauranteed, that settles that! Well, wouldn't you know it, just then a brand new member joined the server, and the mods told me it wouldn't be fair to just give the next code to me, so the raffle is back on between the two of us.

TAKE A WILD GUESS WHO LOST THE COIN TOSS.

This is not random.

This is on purpose.

They're fucking with me.

You know what? Fuck em! If they didn't want me to join their fucking cool kid's club, they shouldn't have invited me onto their discord server in the first place! They shouldn't have bothered with the fucking raffles if this outcome was rigged from the start. What did I ever do to them? I don't even know half these people. I was mutuals with exactly one of them on twitter, I've bought commissions from ten or twelve of them over the years, I tip well, I don't make weird demands or act entitled, I haven't stepped on anyone's toes, I don't derail the server conversations, so why am I being singled out? It feels completely fucking arbitrary.

This isn't fair!

[fluentisonus]

waking up from.a frightening dream at 4am in which a scary book was central which in the dream (could sort of tell I was dreaming on one level) I thoroughly believed was a real book that had been brought up the other day irl & that my dreaming mind was riffing off of bc I had not read yet. but having woken up. I'm not entirely convinced this is the case. and now I'm kind of scared to look it up tbh bc what's worse that it doesn't exist but I've dreamed about it several different nights & it's broken down my dream/reality conscious barrier (& I might dream it again??? this does happen to me) or that it does & I have to live in a world where it exists & I could read it.