#i feel like I have to throw a bunch of qualifiers in so people know Im generally a better writer than this

[smytherines]

So the first chapter of Come Home With Me was originally intended to be a oneshot, and in the notes for that first chapter I said that I wrote it as a sort of spiritual companion piece for something darker and angstier that I was working on at the time

I fell in love with chwm and decided to move forward with that, and now I have a very different plan for the series, but there are parts of this that I liked quite a bit, so I guess if anyone is interested in reading this (unfinished, second draft quality) thing, um. Here you go:

[chilling-seavey]

Clash of Perspectives: Analyzing the Dual Narratives Behind the Verstappen and Russell Public Dispute

Disclaimer: This 'essay' is entirely my opinion, aimed to be from an unbiased point of view. I like both Max and George as drivers and as people; they are both on my 'favourites' list. This post is not hate and should not be read as such; this is supposed to simply offer a viewpoint from both parties, perhaps educate on what has been going on, and discuss what I believe is fair or unjust in this back and forth. This is essay is not about debating if the Qatar qualifying penalty was or was not fair; this essay is about the social and very public dispute between Verstappen and Russell.

Last weekend, after receiving a 1-place grid penalty after qualifying pole in Qatar, Max Verstappen spoke to the media about how the penalty discussion was handled in the stewards' room. He had many things to say about his counterpart, George Russell, who had apparently insisted upon Max receiving a penalty for alleged 'impeding' despite neither driver being on a fast lap. Since Max's words to the media, social media has been ablaze with F1 fans taking sides and at each other's throats over this back and forth. There can be a lot to say here and I through this essay, I hope to inform others about what has been happening while also offering my personal opinions on how both Max and George have handled this situation (as of December 5, 2024).

I have broken it down into three topics for ease of reading. Please read everything carefully before commenting or engaging in conversation; especially if your response differs in opinion than the ones written here. Discourse is always welcome but let's please be respectful if our opinions differ. At the end of the day, we're just fans of a bunch of millionaires who don't know we exist.

1 - George's Character

My main 'concern' from this last weekend is the comparison to how both parties handled themselves in the face of this situation and how they spoke about their counterpart. The main reason I decided to make this essay was because the main discussions (and, honestly, hate) I've seen across social media since this issue arose is mainly stemming from these initial comments delivered by Max.

December 1, 2024 — Max

This whole initial interview shocked me, honestly. It's been known that when Max was starting out in this sport, he could be very brash and his reactions were arguably immature. This season, I have been very impressed by how he has generally carried himself in the media from weekend to weekend. Even when the title fight with Lando got very heated, very tense, and words were said, Max always seemed very calm and collected and mature when asked about it by the media. He got major brownie points from me for this because it showed he was capable of understanding the time and place to be overly harsh or angry or critical and he held himself very articulately and maturely in interviews. There was no belittling of his counterparts [Lando, at the time] and nothing of the sort.

So, seeing this statement from Max as of this weekend, I was very disappointed in how he carried himself and how he treated the situation with George. Of course, Max has every right to be frustrated and upset and angry and whatever other emotion he had been feeling since the stewards meeting; I am definitely not arguing that. As I'll touch on later in this essay, what was said in the stewards' is never publicized for reason so we don't know what really happened in there. Maybe George was very angry and brash (and last weekend he already seemed to be in a grumpy mood re: McLaren sprint 1-2 situation) in that meeting, maybe he said some things he shouldn't have, but that's not an excuse for Max to speak to the media like this. Yes, Max has every right to be as angry as he wants at George, regardless of what went down! He could throw darts at a picture of George's face on his drivers room wall for all I care! That's his business.

Speaking to a disagreement with a fellow driver is one thing. Expressing disappointment, frustration, feelings that something was unjust is one thing. But this statement was entirely passed the line of mature or respectful or, frankly, professional. This isn't just some example of 'Oh, that's just Max just being Max and telling it like it is'; he can still be that way — true to who he is — but also be respectful. I've seen it throughout this season with how he carried himself in regard to the tensions with Lando. He is capable of it and I don't underestimate that he's smart enough to know that.

I've seen a lot of social media content now all content that Max 'brought the truth about George out' which I believe is incredibly unfair. Claiming that George is two-faced simply because he acts one way in media duties/in front of the camera and a different way off camera doesn't make him two-faced or conniving. It makes him a mature and respectful professional.

I think there’s nothing wrong with George or anyone acting differently on camera than behind closed doors. In order to put myself in the shoes of the drivers in instances like this, I always try to view this sport like a career…like a day at the office. The drivers being in front of the cameras is like me talking to my clients. I should be censoring myself, carrying myself politely, respectfully, maturely. I reflect the company for which I am hired. If I am super mad at my boss or a co-worker or a competitor or anything, I’m not going to be bitching about it to my client. That’s not right or appropriate. Hence, why George might 'appear more polite to the cameras’. He’s carrying himself professionally in a situation that requires it.

On the other hand, if there is an issue between co-workers and our boss, that’s where we can be more pushy, more ourselves, or whatever else we need to be to get our point across. We want to fight for what we think is right; it’s a private place away from our 'clients’ or the public in this matter where we can do this. Of course, we don’t know the extent of this specific situation because none of us were there, but I think Max (and, later, in his reply, George) laying all that out to dry on a public platform is still uncalled for. What happens in the stewards’ space isn’t publicized for a reason. Just like what happens in my 1-1 meetings with my bosses doesn't get spread all over the office and to my clients. That’s the behind the scenes work. Their private discourse.

I don’t see it like George being 'two faced’ as Max seemed to imply and how some fans have seemed to take it. I understand it to be he composes himself professionally in front of his 'clients’ to reflect the name of his 'company' to the best of his ability, and, behind closed doors, he can fight a little more and be a bit more open and brash for what he wants to achieve. That’s honestly incredibly mature of him to do. Never have I seen him be 'secretive' or 'conniving' or anything like that. I also believe that Max wasn't trying to be conniving or manipulative by stating these things about George; just that his emotions were high and he's human.

December 5, 2024 — George

I loved this response from George. I, myself, have had people — even in my professional life — try to come for my character and my integrity and I know how much that can hurt, especially when you, yourself, know how you carry yourself. In knowing this, George had every right to defend himself and I think he did so incredibly respectfully but firmly, and didn't slander or hate on Max in any uncalled for way in these above quotes.

"He's entitled to his own opinions" stands out the most to me; he's not getting angry at the fact that someone isn't a fan of him currently or is upset with him. He carried himself how he thought was best, did what he needed to do, and if Max needs to sit with those emotions and chooses to step away from him because of it, he has the right to. That is so respectful of George to say and honestly I was in awe by these screenshots.

George made great points in his interview with SkySports (One | Two) in reminding us that F1 drivers 'fighting' for penalties against their rivals isn't new. He even mentioned how during the Qatar GP this same weekend, Max was insisting on the radio that Lando be reported for not lifting under the yellow. He had every right to do that, just like George had every right to push for a penalty where he saw fit after the qualifying incident. Whether George was quiet and submissive in the stewards or if he was raising his voice and being very persistent is irrelevant here; it doesn't justify Max publically slandering his name and his character.

Whether Max is 4x WDC or hasn't earned a single point in the sport, that doesn't excuse anyone to come on public media and slander someone's name to unjustifiable amounts. Expressing discontent, disappointment, frustration is one thing — it's understandable and appreciated by the fans to see that insight where necessary — but to this extent is nothing short of rude. Max is human at the end of the day and he's not a perfect person; no one is. In knowing this, it wouldn't be fair to hold this situation against him for the rest of time, but being disappointed in how he handled it is valid.

2 - Max's Character

Although the initial situation here was surrounding how Max spoke to George's character last weekend, George's response from this week contained a lot of things to analyze as well. It wouldn't be a comparative study if I didn't look at both sides fairly.

December 5, 2024 — George

Although George did deliver the above statements in a way that was still generally respectful and professional, I believe that he was getting a little bit too into the discourse here. Sure, there may be another argument to have that there was some truth behind his claims of Max being a harsh racer, willing to do anything and everything to get to where he is at the top, and a few moments this season (at least, that I can speak to having witnessed) on the radio where Max might have come across pushy/whiny to 'get his way'. However, I never like to use radio messages as examples or to hold against someone, because that's when everyone's adrenaline is at its peak and its easy to say things in the heat of the moment, in a rush of passion.

One one side, there can be an arguable bias in George's statements here as a rival driver also fighting to be the best but also as a die-hard Lewis fan and as Lewis' teammate. I think — and this is my personal opinion and assumption — that George may 95% of the time take Lewis' side. That doesn't make George wrong or a bad person, that's just his own preferences and biases. Just like how you reading this might be a die-hard fan to one driver but your friend might adore someone completely different so you sometimes clash heads on certain topics. That's your individual biases arguably altering your arguments. Again, that's not to say it's a bad thing. It's just what it is. You fight for what you are passionate about.

Looping back to my main point of this essay, however, I will reiterate the fact that George is going a bit off topic here and I don't necessarily agree with how specific and in depth he went. Especially saying that "people have been bullied by Max for years now". Max isn't the first driver to say harsh opinions and statements about fellow drivers to the media and I'm sure he won't be the last. It's borderline too 'personal' and, yes, although he delivered it respectfully and there may be an arguable truth behind some of the words, I don't think any of this above statement was necessary for the situation at hand. It made it feel almost too 'political'.

I have also seen people using the clip of George and Bottas from 2021 as a way to claim George is a "hypocrite" for saying the above. That is a weak and lazy excuse, just looking for something to use as ammo to had more hate to the fire. Looking at the bigger picture and how someone has grown and changed over the years and through their experience is important. If George was crashing into people and then hitting them for it on a monthly basis, perhaps your argument for this would stand. George wasn't here saying Max sucks and he's always rude and violent and a million other things, he made a few fair points that have proof for backup from the past, albeit was unnecessary to bring up in this instance.

My above statements stand here, too. Maybe even more so here. This feels very gossip-y to me and, again, uncalled for. I wanted to make this quote have it's own notes because the ones above here borderline too far, this one is very much too far. Very unnecessary and unneeded.

3 - The Alleged Threat

I first heard of Max's alleged 'threat' towards George on a SkySports broadcast (I can't currently find the link, if you have it, please let me know so I can add it in) where the commentator was saying many people had overheard Max threaten George. This was brought up by George upon his media interviews this week and then immediately responded to by Max as well.

About this threat, George is quoted in a SkySports interview as saying: "I don't want to bring this to the stewards...I had no intention of bringing this up [...] but he made it personal". In my viewpoint, this quote shows that despite this supposed threat (whether it's 100% true or not, we don't know and we might not ever know), he was willing to move on from it without blowing it up and coming for Max publicly. This is a fair statement given that George felt is necessary to defend himself against the slander towards his character in a situation where otherwise there might have just been big feelings but leaving it on the track.

December 5, 2024 — George

December 5, 2024 — Max

At the end of the day, what hasn’t been publicized is a game of he said/she said. We can hope they’re being truthful but we have to remember that they haven’t been sworn under oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help them God, so both will ultimately have their personal biases that will skew their recollection of the reality of the situation. They are also humans who will often express themselves of come across to other unlike how they indented. Max saying "he's exaggerating" might be the truth, or it might simply boil down to how his confrontation or his words might have come across to George in terms of his tone or underlying meanings. It doesn't mean that one is more correct than the other.

Overall, I think we should take the claims of what happened off camera with this understanding. In all honesty, it’s none of our business. What happens in the stewards isn’t publicized for a reason. We can hear either side tell their story but the only people who know what really happened are the two involved. We shouldn't come at George for being a 'liar' when we weren't there. Just as we shouldn't come at Max for being a 'bully' because, again, we weren't there.

This leads me to my next point in mentioning that Max claims here that you don't have to share everything that happened behind closed doors. I agree with this. As I mentioned above, the stewards is not publicized for a reason, and George took it a bit too far with the information there, going far into details from the past that weren't necessarily relevant to share. Yes, he was respectful in delivering this, but it wasn't needed.

And, yet again, Max has returned with throwing slander on George's name. "Loser", "backstabber", "dramatic". Instead of owning up to how he handled the initial media statements from the previous weekend, he kept at it. Once can be easily excusable; boiling down to a bad day, maybe he had something going on behind the scenes, maybe he's just human and made a mistake in how he handled it, simple as that. But twice? Days apart? This really disappoints me. I really like Max and his tell-it-like-it-is style of honesty but there comes a time where it crosses a line between honesty and rudeness.

Additionally, there is something to say about Max staying true to himself no matter where he is, that can be a positive thing. He's not swayed by outside forces. However, in such a media driven career that he has, where everything is publicized and scrutinized and can have such intense consequences, I think he needs to remind himself of 'time and place'. Like I mentioned earlier, he was great this season in handling questions about the fights and 'name calling'/'finger-pointing' from Lando, always aiming to be respectful and mature, so this is very jarring to me. He can still stay true to himself but be respectful. He can still be blunt and straight forward but not tear someone down at the same time. One does not excuse the other.

To me, the way someone carries themselves in their professional life versus personal life is so important. George seems to have a good grasp on this and I thought Max had started to develop this too.

4 - The Takeaways

I hope this was at all helpful in gaining a better understanding of the situation. I am just so tired of seeing blatant hate on my social media pages about Max and about George. Discourse and expression of opinion on a topic is one thing but taking to the level of making jokes on someone's behalf or being straight up rude is unneeded. From what I have seen so far, the Max 'hate' has been more on the discourse and disappointment side whereas the George 'hate' has been so incredibly brutal. This surprises me given that the issue Max had with George in the first place wasn't even publicized. We have no idea what happened, so why is everyone feeling the need to agree with him when you don't know these people in real life and you weren't there to witness the situation in the first place?

To those who are making posts with digs at George such as belittling his skill, persona, or performance (i.e. "George has no trouble putting himself in the wall, he doesn't need Max's help with that" or "george would [be dramatic and] say that max told him he hopes he dies") are incredibly uncalled for and presumptuous and, yes, I stand by my prior claim that it is immature. You think that is funny but it's really not. You can not like a driver and still be respectful on public forums. You can disagree with a driver, express your opinions, and still be respectful. Just because you think the person won't see it doesn't mean a) they won't or b) their fans want to see that. It just makes you look petty.

I don't anticipate either party apologizing, which is their own prerogative. Honestly, I'm just glad this happened at the end of the season so we can let it go and let the two involved parties deal with this as they see fit. It's only theirs to deal with anyway.

Let's have a safe a respectful final race of the season.

Additionally, I would like to hear from those who genuinely believe George is two-faced. If you have tangible proof of these claims, please feel free to slide into my ask box. Please be respectful though. I will delete any messages that are unnecessarily rude or hateful. We don't have to agree, but don't be offensive either. I don't have the time or patience for that.

Sources, Max: independant.co.uk | motorsport.com Sources, George: motorsport.com | racer.com

[pluckyredhead]

The Lost Titans in Canon: Rose and Eddie

Hello, friends! Are you ready to get your heart broken?

Rose and Eddie both joined the Titans during the 2006 One Year Later gap (when every DC book jumped one year ahead after Infinite Crisis) and first appeared on the team in #34 of the 2003 Teen Titans series. They're already buddies, at least enough to...hang out in the kitchen together, not facing each other and throwing oranges on the floor? This art is baffling:

What mind-bogglingly prudish teenager instituted that swear jar, let alone decided that "damn" was enough to qualify?

We later learn that Rose vouched for Eddie to get him on the team, apparently two seconds after having met him. Rose herself was on the team because Dick asked Tim to give her a chance.

Eddie is already protective of Rose, like when Cassie, uh...punches Rose hard enough to give her a nosebleed for the crime of being annoying.

Guys, you should...you should probably quit this team. I know it's just your first issue, but yikes.

Their second issue features a drunk Rose climbing into Tim's bed and trying to seduce him, and then Cassie showing up and everyone attacking everyone else, and then Marvin hitting on Cassie (I'm glad you're dead, Marvin), and it's pretty much just trash all around.

But it also features this moment:

Eddie has never recovered and NEITHER HAVE I.

Rose then confesses that she's afraid that the Titans will kick her off the team, since Tim doesn't really want her or Eddie around, just his real friends. (I could write a thesis on how Rose is afraid of being kicked out so she deliberately tries to provoke them into kicking her out, but this isn't the time.)

She hides it better, but Rose has never recovered from this, either.

Then Eddie gets hurt and Rose pulls they "Stay with me!" trope:

It has only been two issues! They're obsessed with each other!

But Rose warns him off:

Eddie continues to be ride or die for Rose, defending her when she's accused (falsely) of being a traitor to the team, and protecting her when his own dystopian future self shows up and tries to kill her. Also, Jaime joins the team and Eddie is wildly jealous of how much Rose seems to like him:

Rose 100% knows Eddie's right there and is doing this to make him jealous, btw. This is extremely explicit in the issue. She doesn't actually care about Jaime one way or the other (and Jaime tells her very clearly that he has a girlfriend).

Meet Rose Wilson! She has absolutely no idea how to cope with liking a sweet boy who is nice to her, so she spends an entire issue trying to make him jealous and making fun of him in a way that's genuinely mean! Oh, honey, no.

Between Rose blowing hot and cold, Tim and Cassie being just incredibly nasty to Eddie all the time for no reason, and the trauma of, you know, having sold his soul to the devil and being functionally orphaned and all, Eddie makes a very bad decision. He invites a bunch of civilian teens to Titans Tower, where they promptly run amuck. The Titans are furious, and Eddie is left feeling completely friendless and about an inch from being kicked off the team completely.

That's when he's approached by the Terror Titans, a team of teenage edgelords led by the Clock King, who DC was trying to make into a cool scary villain by having him *checks notes* fuck teenage girls and constantly murder people on-page as gorily as possible. This whole storyline is trying so, so hard to be cool and edgy but it's just incredibly tiresome.

Anyway Eddie recognizes that actually all these people suck, and refuses to join them and betray the Titans. So they kidnap him and Clock King proceeds to torture him.

Meanwhile, the Terror Titans attack Titans Tower. The only people there are Wendy and Marvin, who are non-combatants, and Rose. Rose defeats every member of the Terror Titans, gets Wendy and Marvin to safety, and then, beat to hell, walks back into Titans Tower to fight the Terror Titans again. Why?

THEY'VE GOT EDDIE.

Rose drags herself back into the Tower, hurt and bleeding, to beat Eddie's location out of the Terror Titans. It's such a good gender reversal of this trope, where the damsel in distress is an eldritch horror and the grizzled warrior coming to his rescue is a teenage girl. The execution of every single bit of this story is absolutely awful and unreadably stupid, but the idea in there is so good! Theoretically!

The Terror Titans manage to escape Rose's wrath, but Rose follows them to where Eddie is being kept: an underground cage fighting ring for captured teenage metas. The Teen Titans also realize what's happening and show up to rescue Eddie as well.

Rose saves Cassie's life and defeats Clock King, but Cassie is still like "Rose is crazy and dangerous and shouldn't be on the team" and Tim's like "Hm maybe you're right"...and Rose overhears.

Meanwhile, Eddie learns that Rose went apeshit when he was kidnapped, and is thrilled because maybe this means he has a chance! He shows up with flowers...

...and Rose is already gone. She's quit the team.

Rose is gone for about ten issues (she temporarily joins the Terror Titans, which is as unbearably stupid as you might imagine), and during that time, Eddie loses his powers and becomes just a regular guy. And then Rose makes her glorious return:

AND EDDIE LITERALLY SWOONS.

But Rose is not okay. She's becoming addicted to huffing adrenaline to enhance her precognitive abilities [insert eyeroll here]. Eddie, of course, is the one who notices:

I love that first panel in the last row. They've moved past the point where Rose can pretend she doesn't care about Eddie and Eddie can't tell the difference. The intimacy of that line (and that touch) - he knows her, and he's telling her so. UGH MY HEART.

Rose gets into another fight with Cassie, and it convinces her that she doesn't belong on the Titans. And, she argues, neither does Eddie, who has no powers and no training.

AND THEN THIS PAGE HAPPENS AND I HAVE NEVER RECOVERED:

Rose leaves. Eddie stays. And in the very next storyline, he dies. YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH HER, EDDIE!

I'm not going to recount Eddie's death because I've done that already, but during this time, Rose had a backup solo feature in the Teen Titans book, and it included her hallucinating conversations with various characters. The last hallucination is of Eddie:

The next page is his last line: "...but that doesn't mean you'll never get another chance someday..." She doesn't know he's already dead. I WEEP. I WEEP ETERNALLY.

And that's pretty much the end of the canon Rose/Eddie story. Rose returned to the Titans in the next issue, but there's no scene of her learning or acknowledging Eddie's death - iirc she never mentions him again, which honestly I feel like is pretty in character. Her grief is private.

The comics Rose and Eddie appear in together are objectively awful. But somehow there's still a really compelling and heartbreaking little almost-romance in there, and now that Eddie's back in canon, I'd love to see someone at DC remember this couple, because they are so, so good together. (And imo much more interesting that Jason and Rose, who are functionally the same person and work better as two halves of the Eddie Bloomberg Defense Squad.)

Anyway if you also think they're neat, I wrote a sequel to The Lost Titans about them! You should read it: Five Couches Eddie (Tried to) Crash on After He Was Rescued from Hell (and One Time He Went Home).

[supercalime]

I can’t believe I found people who think about this the exact same way as I do. I don’t get these hardcore buddie stans who suddenly try to make it look like buckTommy shipper are the toxic ones. I haven’t seen a single BuckTommy shipper who was rude without a reason (maybe a bit defensive about their CANON ship). Whereas I’ve seen plenty of incredibly toxic buddie stans who insult everyone who doesn’t ship their ship or share their opinions.

Another thing and don’t get me wrong Im not defending anyone. But I’ve seen many people heavily bullying the marisol actress because she’s apparently homophobic (not saying she isn’t or is) and wanting her to be gone beacause of this reason but totally ignore the alleged racism of ryan (again not saying he is racist or not, i dont know them personally) just because he is part of their beloved ship. By their logic Ryan should leave the show too.

Hey anon, it took me some time to answer your ask (chaotic life stuff lol) but I’m glad to finally have time to talk about this first part with you.

I’ll preface by saying I won’t get involved in actor drama, no matter how true or toxic it is because I don’t have enough information nor am I qualified to talk about the issues they mishandled. I’ll just say that, no matter who does bad things, they should be held accountable.

Okay, back to the main point: yes, it’s very strange how b*ddie st*ns are behaving towards the canon bi!buck thing. Both with people who ship bucktommy but also with the creators and actors on the show. Regardless if they are right or not about b*ddie being canon, this is not how you act with entertainment, specially with the people giving the content.

I hate to bash but it looks and sounds a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get a specific toy.

And toddlers only throw tantrums because they are brand new humans who are learning how to behave. They don’t know any better so they react with outbursts and repeated demands because it’s the only way they know to get the attention of the person taking care of them.

If I’m not mistaken, the main audience for the show is 18-45. NO ONE here should be yelling in comment sections “we want buddie! we want buddie! we want buddie!” as if they would immediately get it. It’s not how it works and it’s frankly embarrassing to see a bunch of adults acting like that for everyone to see.

And I can’t stress it enough, I’m not putting myself on a high ground here and saying I’m a better person by shipping bucktommy, as I’m sure there might be a percentage of fans out there being rude and annoying as well. But at least I’m keeping my conscience clear by not acting like me shipping two characters is something big enough in my life to ruin my enjoyment of a whole show in case my favorite ship doesn’t become canon.

I hate how fandoms behave as if they can have control over the content they are consuming. We aren’t entitled to anything and if there is supposed to be ANY discourse about which character was supposed to end with, that should happen AFTER the show ended! The story isn’t over yet! So why are b*ddie st*ns so stressed? If a show is making you this angry and demanding, please step aside a little, give it some distance because that’s not how consuming content is supposed to make you feel.

And I say that last part with sincerity because I too got way too involved with fandom discourse in the past, to the point that I had to distance myself from certain shows because being that involved made me upset.

Im just tired at this point you know. Im trying to protect myself as much as possible. Im not in the bird app, I don’t follow the show or the actors on social media, im avoiding interviews like the plague. All I want from this experience is to watch the show, gather my thoughts, form my opinions, log onto tumblr and reblog the cute stuff I see about my favorite ship without having to worry about whatever the hell is going on outside my pretty little bubble

[iwanthermidnightz]

As usual, I’m gonna share the parts of this article that resonate with me (pretty much all of it). Several points were made. And the unapologetic queer visibility makes me so proud. Please give it a read 🥲

LD: I also do want to say, even though there is a bunch of awesome overlap with the trans community and the drag community, transness and drag are separate things — but that's the reason why we did it [in Tennessee], is because those things are being conflated here.

It's crazy that we were on tour for all of Pride Month and being pretty f*cking gay, and talking about gay rights on stage. You’d think that the circles that we run in would be like, yeah, cool, but I feel like there is still… Prejudice towards gay people comes from all sides, including gay people.

I have, you know, rolled my eyes at certain aspects of Pride, just the corporate aspect of things. We were hanging out with a friend who was like, yeah, the gas station has a pride flag, but I'm still getting looked at funny in the streets; what is Pride actually doing?

JB: Shell Oil Company is like, happy pride! Like, okay.

LD: It's weird, the more comfortable I am, the more opposition I feel from other people who are discontent with how I qualify as a gay person. I'm like, Do you need a sex tape?

PB: As someone who doesn't qualify as gay, I can't participate in this conversation. I haven't sent in enough chips to corporate. [laughs]

I speak for all of us [when I say] I feel like our communities are so supportive, like f*cking rainbows and buttercups all the time. We're really good at making friends and we have so much support around each of us, and so much privilege, and each live in an accepting place and choose accepting people to be around. But when I or Lucy get hate for not turning in our like, gay paperwork, all I'm thinking is about the way that I would have felt at f*cking age 11 being like, Oh, I'm not allowed to do that. This famous person is being humiliated for expressing themselves, and so I should not, I especially should not express myself.

JB: I don't get as much hate because people are like, there goes a lesbian. You know what I mean? [All laugh.]

LD: It’s really binary.

JB: I've spent a lot of my life being a masc dressing queer person, or just not engaging with gender play at all. It’s like, queer people saying that you have to acquiesce to one of three queer archetypes, or one of a handful of queer archetypes in order to be represented.

LD: That's why our shows are so special to me is that they are very gay. People are throwing flags at us, young people are making out in front of us, it is a space that is precious to me and would have changed my life if I could have been a part of it when I was younger. I'm extremely proud, and I just implicitly love everybody at our shows at a base level. I think we all do. The reason we're doing it is because we care abstractly about all these strangers and want for them what we could have had. Also we're coming from a position where we're talking to a bunch of young people, we do get to put messages worth hearing out there, I think that's not lost on us.

PB: I am mostly proud of the way that I watch the discourse [play out], and I'm proud of the conclusions that these children are coming to. Everybody is sticking up for us and each other and there's just a couple weirdos that are very loud. I think our community is being protected by the people in it. And it is such a safe space show, and I'm so fucking proud. Even the amount of femme people in the audience, screaming at the top of their lungs and having to take up a high octave... It’s a different rock show than I've ever experienced. It’s amazing to me.

JB: The microphone I have with y'all, the reach is wider, it just factually is, and I think a lot about responsibility to hear [others’ opinions…] To be the subject of discourse at all is to live a question into the world, so I will allow myself to do that. I will allow a little bit of my identity — which as a queer person, I've been at once defensive of and fiercely protective of and encouraged to erase completely — I'm like, okay, so I have to exist with this identity subsumed into the culture, into the topic of someone's conjecture. Because it's going to be one case study. That's the whole idea of visibility, visibility doesn't have to be perfect representation.

I was thinking about this too, something that bugged me was that meme that was the talent and popularity graph and it was popularity way above talent, and they were like, “This is boygenius.” You're missing the damn point. [If only the most talented people got to speak,] Steve Vai would be speaking for all f*cking musicians because he's best at guitar. That's not what I want.

PB: But again, that is just Twitter. I think we are as beloved as is possible for any public, femme presenting, or queer, in public. I think we just get an amount of hate because we're stepping on guitar guys. It is fucking dumb, and it is just what is happening. Every time I look at a Pitchfork post of us, it's the most incel f*cking shit ever in the comments section.

JB: I was telling Lucy, I feel like if someone made that meme about me, Julien Baker, on a solo headlining tour, I would be up at four in the morning in the back lounge of the bus running scales. With y'all, I'm like, You're missing the point you dumbass. It's like Kathleen Hanna being like, the Sex Pistols are bad at their instruments. Why can I not just have a band that's fun and cool and angry?

LD: I wanna say, we're a little fed up, obviously, with some things, but I agree with you, Phoebe, the biggest sentence I have to say is we're having so much fun. That is the message that I think people are mostly getting, and the one that I want them to get, is that we are happy and having fun, and that is not frivolous at all. Fun is essential.

PB: Everybody knows every word to the entire set. We sell thousands of tickets. It is going as good as humanly possible. It is insane.

LD: And it's because we feel safe and supportive that we can mostly safely and supportively do drag in Tennessee. It's because we have such a solid foundation of joy we can be in defense of other people's joy, in ways that feel really valuable to me personally, and I hope valuable to other people.

JB: The whole reason why I feel comfortable engaging with this at all and it's not an existential crisis for me is because, what you're saying, Lucy: I have a foundation of joy that makes me convicted that this is important, not frivolous, highly worthy, highly valuable. So when I see us as the subject of discourse I'm interacting with it in a different way that I don't think I'd be able to [alone]. I wonder if kids watching that in third person happen will also be resilient to the same kind of things.

PB: You’re allowed to be bad at guitar, anybody reading this.

LD: I’m bad at guitar.

PB: Other shit, you do have to work so hard. And you have to love it. If you love playing guitar and you're bad at guitar, that rocks.

TV: What other moments would you highlight? I feel like there’s been a lot of good ones, like the t-shirt selling out.

PB: Love, love to just have the power to snap my fingers and mobilize people to give their money away to a cause. That is the best part of my job.

JB: It’s participation. It’s visibility. It's you, outward signaling something you believe in as a principle. It's also literally redistributing funds to us to organizers, nonprofits and legislators that are trying to make the world a better place. And we get to be in charge of that, and also give somebody a gift that's like, you're a country queer! We see you.

TV: Did you expect the fans to be so young this tour? I’ve been really impressed!

LD: It's interesting, I think Julien was saying this, being something through which some kids are learning some stuff. I usually am really upset when I'm misunderstood, but I think that part of that happening now is people on their way to understanding something that I think is important and outside of me, that we are just a case study for, and that is just a really sweet and special position to be in.

JB: This really gets to me, I'll see a group of friends all hugging during our set, a collection of songs about grieving and leaning on your friends. I'll be like, What did y'all go through? Something f*cking horrible.

I think about this with the credibility or the legitimacy of music, like with the whole Pitchfork incel guy, it goes back to that. I'm like, dude, I love that a bunch of kids are at our show. I've said it once, I'll say it again: I took a class in young adult literature. And I was like, wow, this is maybe the most important kind of literature. Paradise Lost is for people who think that their brain is big, young adult literature is for f*cking people who don't know what literature is yet — they need a window, they need a door. They need a pass. Phoebe you were saying, like, music that not-adult cis white guys like.

LD: Those guys are showing up too, and good for them. And if they're the ones that are mad about this, maybe they're on their path of understanding something better, too.

JB: I cry at all the kids, man.

PB: Me too.

JB: My mom texted me and was like, I would have died if there was something like y'all when I was a kid — and I don't even think she gets some stuff we're saying.

PB: It's funny to [realize] I would have bleached my hair and wanted to be me.

JB: Dude, it's so f*cking sick. I think about me at 16 — I was trying to be a hardcore guy, I wanted to get tattoos, I wanted to play guitar in a band. And then I just turned out… me. I used to try to make my hair look like k.d. Lang; I wonder if we're a thing people realize they can look like.

LD: Also, I think being affectionate on stage has been really fun and sweet, and it exhibits behavior that I think is healthy and good. That's another element of it that I think is good to show kids, the way that I think drag is actively good for kids to interact with, because it's this fun way to interact with gender and to explain things like that early to children is really awesome. Just being able to gaily and affectionately kiss your bros, that's a principle that I value, that I wish was more valued for kids. Not saying like, kids gotta go all make out!

I'm proud of the space we're taking up. I think we're using it in ways I'll be able to stand behind when I get older.

PB: There's also such a deep, both fetishizing and desexualizing of lesbians, in a way that I think is ridiculous. Obviously MUNA is standing staunchly against that as well, by being a f*cking boyband. It's just fun to be like, it's not that serious — and it also is deeply meaningful.

[onboardsorasora]

To the surprise of no one, I wrote it lol. I haven’t reread it so hopefully it’s good lol

Dewis feel better sex, 1200wrds

Lewis sat heavily on the barstool at the far corner of the bar, away from all of the traffic in the lounge. All of the fans, important people, media and most importantly, cameras.

He was tired and more than a little annoyed. He wanted to enjoy his final year at Mercedes but the car was making it difficult.

For someone used to winning and being on the podium at least, he shouldn’t be getting used to being knocked out in Q1 or 2.

But he was.

He wasn’t even phased anymore when Bono’s regretful voice comes over the comms after a lap. He doesn’t know where to find the speed or time in his silver and black shit box on wheels. He’s taking the apexes and curbs, he’s flooring it in the straights, he’s caressing the walls. There’s only so much he can do with a car that didn’t suit him.

A drink was placed in front of him and he looked up to see from where, he hadn’t ordered anything.

“Thanks mate.” A familiar lilting voice came from his left as someone took the seat beside him. A citrusy scent that reminded him of dark rooms, syrupy smiles and champagne curled around his nostrils.

Daniel swiped his long fingers down the side of his own glass, through the condensation. “If you’re not up for company, I can go.” He greeted Lewis, who shrugged and lifted the gifted drink in thanks then took a sip.

The flavor of the tequila coated Lewis’ tongue. “So what brings you here? Don’t RedBull have you all in that skyscraper?” Lewis teased, feeling a flush of pleasure when Daniel laughed. They’d all heard him complaining all week about how high up his room was.

“That they did. But Johnny here makes a mean tequila so I had to come visit him.” Daniel flirted, grinning when Lewis snorted. All Johnny did was pour their preferred brand into a glass and serve it to them.

“Laying it on thick there, don’t you think?” Lewis looked at him over top his glass. Daniel shrugged but didn’t look sorry.

“Well since you don’t like my flirting, reckon you’d like my dick?” Daniel said it around his glass, to muffle his words. Lewis laughed, a happy sound.

“Does that normally work for you?” He teased.

“Hundred percent success rate with seven time world champions, mate.”

Lewis sputtered and Daniel grinned.

“I’d say a 97% at least.” Lewis argued.

“Just because it hasn’t worked yet doesn’t mean it won’t.” Daniel pointed out, finishing his drink.

Lewis gave him a long look, taking in Daniel’s smug confidence. Before rolling his own brown eyes and throwing back the last of his drink. He ignored Daniel’s victorious grin and got off his stool. They both had a shit qualifying, they might as well enjoy the night together.

In his room, Daniel took charge, cupping Lewis’ jaw and kissing him firmly. They’d done this dance often and long enough that it was just a matter of who led and who followed. Clearly Daniel wanted to lead tonight and Lewis would follow him anywhere, trusted him to always make it good.

They made their way to Lewis’ made bed, stripping and giggling as they went. Daniel’s elbow got caught in the bunched sleeve of his shirt. Lewis tripped over the voluminous fabric of both of their jeans shucked to the floor.

Daniel pressed Lewis chest down in sheets and kissed and nibbled his way down corded muscles before biting the meaty flesh of Lewis’ ass. Lewis yelped and Daniel grinned into his skin.

“I’ve wanted to do that since those surfing pictures.” Daniel explained and Lewis laughed loudly, blushing.

“Oh yeah?”

Daniel caressed the body beneath him almost reverently, “yeah.”

“What do you want?” Because it was still Saturday and they both still had to race tomorrow.

“I want to eat you out and you fuck my face.” Daniel said it while rubbing his beard along the hair on Lewis’ thigh.

Lewis shivered, “yeah? Ok.”

Daniel didn’t wait a moment longer to spread Lewis’ cheeks and spit directly on his hole. Lewis groaned at the first pass of his tongue, he was panting at the second. He loved it when Daniel ate him out, loved the almost ticklish feeling that turns into long passes of pleasure.

He rutted his hips on the bed, in time with Daniel spearing his tongue into his hole.

“Fuck.” Lewis moaned and Daniel groaned in response, sending a wave of pleasure up Lewis’ spine and a spurt of precome to soak his sheets. He reached backwards and shoved at Daniel’s head, knowing that if he kept up he was going to come. Daniel gave one last long lick and eased backwards, biting Lewis thigh as he went.

Lewis flipped himself over and locked Daniel’s kneeling form in between his thighs. Daniel licked his swollen lips and rubbed his spit smeared cheek in the meat of Lewis’ thigh like a cat.

“Fuck, you’re good at that.” Lewis praised, standing to his full height and pressing his thumb against Daniel’s plump lower lip— watching as the muscle turned white then red again once he removed pressure.

“Mmm.” Daniel moaned when Lewis cupped the back of his head and fed him his rock hard dick. The flavor of his precome exploded on his tongue like a fine aperitif.

Lewis didn’t give him an opportunity to get used to his length, knowing Daniel didn’t want one. He pressed in in one stroke, groaning at the feeling of Daniel’s wet heat, at his nose pressing against Lewis’ skin. Daniel gripped the backs of Lewis’ thighs for leverage, to hold on.

Lewis thrusted into his mouth like he was on a mission, chasing his nut in the silky wetness. Daniel groaned, tears running down his cheeks as Lewis ruined him.

He felt it, the clench of Lewis’ hands and thighs, heard the stuttering of his breath before the explosion of come in his mouth and down his throat. Daniel reached between his legs to squeeze his own forgotten dick, he was hard as hell and fuck. Lewis sagged back onto the bed and Daniel leaned back on his heels to take in the luxurious beauty that was a fucked out Lewis Hamilton. He stroked his dick like he was watching the finest porno, the one that ticked all his boxes as if it was made for him.

“Fuck- come on me.” Lewis panted and Daniel scrambled to his feet to straddle Lewis thighs. The view was even better from here and he was coming ropes before long with a long drawn out groan.

Daniel sagged onto the bed beside him, the two of them breathing deeply to catch their breath.

“You should fuck me tomorrow.” Daniel turned to rest an arm on Lewis’ chest. Lewis laughed a breathy sound.

“I thought whoever finished lower got to choose. You’re so sure?”

“Mate, the fuckin floor on my car thinks its 2022.”

Lewis snorted before threading his fingers between Daniel’s.

“Mmm how about we deal with tomorrows car problems tomorrow and enjoy tonight.” He offered and Daniel threw a leg over his hips and rested his chin on Lewis’ shoulder.

Daniel gazed into Lewis’ eyes with a soft grin, “yeah ok.”

“Good.”

[grapejuicegay]

Get to know me tag! :)

I was tagged by @telomeke here and @dribs-and-drabbles here.

do you make your bed?

I try to! On days that I'm too busy to make it in the morning I do so about half an hour before I'm getting to bed. I don't like the feeling of getting back into an unmade bed - it feels like a completely unproductive day and that just throws me off

what's your favourite number?

I don't really have a favourite but I love multiples of 7, they make my brain go brrr

what is your job?

Photography! It's something I always wanted to do as a child but gave up on as an unrealistic dream before eventually sort of stumbling into it. Happy accidents and all that.

if you could go back to school, would you?

Hah! No chance. I burnt myself out pretty badly through undergrad by taking on far too much - there were just so many things that I found interesting - and I'd much rather not repeat that experience.

can you parallel park?

I can't drive. I keep meaning to learn but the way people drive freaks me out a little too much. I've also been struggling with a bout of motion sickness recently and that doesn't help my comfort in cars. Someday though! Hopefully!

a job you had that would surprise people?

I worked on editing and post production on a documentary for National Geographic once

do you think aliens are real?

In what form, I'm not sure. But some forms of life that exist outside of our planet? Absolutely. My other answer, channeling the 12 years I've spent on this hellsite: doooweeeewoooooo

can you drive a manual car?

If/when I do finally learn to drive I'm going to make it a point to learn manual too. Idk, feels like an important skill to have

what's your guilty pleasure?

I make it a point not too feel guilty or embarrassed about my interests. If I started doing that far too many things I like would qualify and I just cannot live like that

tattoos?

I wish :( I have a bunch of small tattoos I've always wanted but I have a medical condition because of which I can't get any.

favourite colour?

It changes every so often but I'm particularly biased towards shades of teal right now.

favourite type of music?

I love rock of the general/alt/post/punk variety. Recently I've been listening to a goth-folk band called Charming Disaster and have been a little bit obsessed with their album Our Lady of Radium and especially Radium Girls

do you like puzzles?

Love love love puzzles of any kind. I just like having lil things for my brain to do.

any phobias?

I have a little bit of a phobia of falling off of high places which unfortunately comes from a close call during a hike where I slipped off a steep rock and almost into a sweeping rapids (luckily I ended up slipping sideways into a little pool in a gap between said rock and another big one... took a while to pull my short ass out of there but at least I wasn't being swept away!)

favourite childhood sport?

I was a sporty child, tried my hand at just about most sports. My go to was basketball for a while (though I don't play anymore) but now I'm more inclined to go for a swim or a bout of kickboxing, sometimes badminton. Funny story: over the course of a year I got hit in the nose with 4 different kinds of balls (not that kind!). My nose is fine but I was paranoid around sports grounds for a while after that 😂

do you talk to yourself?

All the time! It honestly helps me keep track of a lot of things, especially when I'm overwhelmed but it's a little funny when my everyday running commentary comes out in front of people. It gets me a lot of strange looks, especially when I ask everyday objects what they think they're doing

what movies do you adore?

Depends on the day you ask. I tried answering this 5 different times but each time I came up with 5 different movies to list out. I really could not pick for this one

coffee or tea?

Coffee! Far, far too much of it!

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

An astronaut. It took me far too long to give up on that pipe dream. But around the time I gave up on that I was getting interested in photography as something to pursue. I was bullied out of it for a few years sadly but hey, I ended up here eventually!

I'm coming to this way too late so I'm not really sure who hasn't done this yet. I'm just going to tag @casualavocados @celestial-sapphicss @jemmo

And like both Tel and Lin mentioned, I've been far too busy to be on tumblr too much recently (most of 2024) and so a lot of stuff I've been tagged in has slipped through the cracks. Most of it is in my drafts somewhere and sometimes it just feels too late to bring it back. I still love all of you though and I'm sorry!

[letrune]

This is going to be depressing, involving "ais" (large language models) and how it feels like we lost. If anyone knows anything, please...

My own government gave out a warning on not using too much "ai" stuff, because, well... Someone more qualified than I am noted that they use so much power and water that we could run Hungary on that, for free. Every month. The entirety of Hungary's water and power consumption is used up by the large language models just to run, every month.

I don't know what to do any more. I feel like we lost.

That it is over and now we are paying the price - artists, actors, developers, all became "useless" and "worthless". That people like Elon Musk and Sam Altman get very rich from selling your data, using your GPU and CPU every time you run one of these, forcing thousands to work on "AI generators" as mechanical turks, the machine burping out something you got to poke around. Yep, the machines don't know how many fingers are in a human, a person has to edit them out... I had a job offer. 30 dollars per month for doing that. Thirty dollars. And then I got rejected because I am overqualified.

"We don't need IT techs any more!". "We don't need artists any more!". What is the point of trying any more at all? You just buy a bunch of fakecoins, throw them in this plagiarism slot machine and sell the stuff that comes out for a very low price, underselling people doing work. Just selling big boobed characters for a tenner or something, all of them looking the exact same smooth nothing.

Imagine millions of calarts style artwork of big boobed anime waifus being produced, costing as much as the entire US Eastern seaboard in power and water. Just so one guy on top gets rich, and a lot of people doing it giving him the social credit to sell his ais for gigacorps, so Disney and gang fire all the workers for the cheap ais. Now imagine millions of the same movies being burped out. If half of them go into the shredder for tax returns, they get paid instantly, and who cares of the cost? All the energy and water was used up anyways.

In 1928, Karel Capek wrote "War with the newts", a rather blatant allegory of fascism. It has one line: "Who ended the world? (...) Every factory in the world. Every bank. Every country. Every leader wanting the world."

I fear we have this sort of junk, not just because Musk and Altman being technofetishistic pseudo-cult leaders. It is just what I am afraid of happening now and I just... can't conceptualise what to do. It feels like the world is running into the end, all because those big titty anime waifus were too important to be done now, with barely any cost now - the future will pay for it.

We and our descendants will pay for the burning of the world and the water being used up.

[knicks-knacks]

A bunch of G0mens anti's on Twitter vehemently deny that Neil Gaiman, while not self-identified as one, would qualify as a proshipper. This just goes to show that none of these people actually know what proshipper means. The actual proven definition doesn't mean shit to them.

But I also wanted to point out how much this proves that they don't actually give a shit about "protecting" anybody. None of this is about preventing harm, or keeping fiction pure - it is all wholly about feeling morally superior and having an excuse to abuse and harass people. It's all a high-school bully power fantasy to them. If they actually had any form of integrity or any of the morals they claim to have, they wouldn't be sticking their fingers in their ears and blocking everyone who shows them blatant proof that Gaiman is on the side of anticensorship, and that's what proship IS. He's saying exactly what we have been saying, that even fiction that is objectively gross and terrible still has a right to exist and you cannot prosecute someone based on the FICTION they enjoy or create. He has also WRITTEN the things that antis would throw a fit about if it was in fanfic.

The only difference is that Neil's untouchable. At least to them. They know that no amount of call-out post, no amount of online harassment, will ever make a dent in his reputation. Even though Neil OBJECTIVELY has more reach and influence than some random person writing niche fanfic in a niche fandom. Logically, by their own beliefs, Gaiman would be a dangerous predator who is endorsing "problematic" things. However, they have no power of Neil. They don't have direct access to him. They like Neils stories. So block everyone sending you articles, or posts, or screenshots of interviews. Clearly, it's different.

[toyotacorolla2008]

hi!!! i was wondering if you could do a tutorial for how you draw transformers? i can never simplify them like you can. do you have any tips?? also love your art sm <33

hi ヾ(•ω•`)o

I WILL TRY MY best to explain what i do… i don’t actually have a very structured system but this is vaguely how i got started and how i simplified the process

1. look up and compile a whole bunch of references

this will be useful for EVERYTHING– transfomos come with lots of shapes and gizmos and details and stuff so a variety of references from different angles and in different poses is really useful because you can see the shapes they’re made out of and also understand how everything connects with each other

trapezoid town! this is a mess but it’s a quick example of how by looking at everything you start to notice trends or details like what moves with what or how flexible some parts are

there are a whole bunch of resources very nice people have compiled on the web like here here here here and here (mainly MTMTE) and there is a discord server (this is a link to a tumblr post about it and not the invite link itself) for it too but you can always look through the source material and just start screenshotting and pasting shit into a folder. 

you don’t have to do humongous in-depth breakdowns if you just want to be able to quickly doodle robots (god knows i don’t!!) but having the references on-hand makes it easier for the times when you’re like This pose is going to be challenging and I’m not sure how all of the cuboids will be positioned.

references also help break you out of thinking of it as just drawing blockier humans because the proportions and shapes vary a looooooot

2. draw draw draw

at first i drew a lot using refs heavily to get an idea of the shapes then i got lazy and just started drawing anime girls and smacking rectangles and kibble on top BUT as you draw more and more you start to pick up on the Salient Features as well as their General Silhouette.

drawing from memory means that what makes them look recognisable will become more emphasised in your mind so you’ll naturally pick up on how you can simplify them without losing what makes your guy Look Like Your Guy. so if you want to simplify the robots just be incredibly lazy like me B)

i'm kind of horrible because i don't even do like Basic Shapes i literally just eyeball it

for poses i rectangle it out while thinking really hard

anyway when i first tried to draw transformers but Something Didn’t Look Right it was either a) the level of detail across the entire drawing was inconsistent and threw it off balance or b) proportions weren’t right and these things only got better with me finangling and doodling and learning by iteration.

of course sometimes i don’t give a fuck because no cops in transformers doodle land but yeahhhh i’m the kind of guy who only gets through stuff by throwing a lot of rocks at it. i don’t have a Method to offer you unfortunately but what i did do was

3. experiment and exaggerate and experiment!!

The First Rule of Gun Safety is to Have Fun and Be Yourself! i took a lot of liberties and rarely stayed on-model when i doodled and waffled around (and i still do…) but it helped me figure out how much i was willing to draw lol and consequently how i would stylise them.

i would play with how big or small or exaggerated or expressive they'd be… even my most detailed drawings are nowhere near comic-detail but my least detailed ones were. turquoise triangle that’s vaguely brainstorm-shaped. having fun with it and just doing it to make stupid jokes makes the practice seem like not practice.

so yeah tl;dr i started by reffing what bots actually look like, would trace comic panels to get an idea of the shapes and details and then start drawing side-by-side → drew billions of perceptors from my diseased mind and played around with lines → ??? → upgraded from goofy-looking rectangles to goofy-looking rectangles

that’s it for advice! (i don’t feel qualified to say that much)

below are just examples of stupid doodles i’d make on my ipad in class or in the margins of assignments lol, you can tell the last one is from when i still didn't understand brainstorm's build very well because the wings are placed wrongly... But i grew.

hope this was somewhat helpful! there are other tutorials from other artists that i can direct you to but this is how toyotacorolla2008 got to shitposting on tumblr dot com

[docholligay]

Eurovision Rehearsals Quick Takes: Day Two

Everything I said in the first post also is true in the second, and once again, these are in running order!

Israel: I knew she was going to bring a whole-ass set, and I was not disappointed. The dancing looks insane. This is basically what I assumed would happen when she was announced.

Azerbaijan: I feel real bad for these kids, as I think there are years, and honestly, even in the other semi, where this might qualfiy, but it won’t here. It’s just these floppy haired Azerbaijani boys in their 70s costumes. This is closer to the kind of music I would like to hear show up more, so it extra bums me out.

Czechia: This sounded better than I expected! It might actually be fine! Depends on the night of course, but it sounds like they have backing vocalists. I do not particularly get the outfit choice, but they have what looks like some reasonably solid choreography.

The Netherlands: So, this actually does require a bunch of story. These two have been doing HORRIBLY. So badly that dutch tv has been making fun of them. So badly that we had an interview about it and Mia said she can “Sing it in the studio”. I think this song has been a top betrayal for me. So, they changed the song so these two can sing it. First of all: Let me skate a revolutionary idea called “Sending people who can sing the song.” Secondly, as @relevantbunny put it, “I can't say I'm pleased with the revamp version which basically takes all the things I liked about the song and throws them in a black hole.” Anyway, i hate the new version, the staging looks good and if it qualifies I am going to scream. They do not deserve it. I DEFENDED YOUR ASSES.

Finland: This is winning the semi. The staging is fucking exceptional, you can tell Finland sees they have a chance at a win and they are going to aim for it. Can he sing it? No, but that literally does not affect who will televote for this thing.

WE’RE NOW IN SEMI 2

Denmark: his vocals seem a little shaky, but my lord that’s a fun set. I hate this song, but it stands a decent chance of qualifying and the set is A game shit.

Armenia: Boy do I wish I liked her song better. I saw a version of her singing “Amar Pelos Dois” and it was gorgeous. Her voice is incredible. The staging for this does not really do anything for me, and it’s actually the first thing that’s made me think her placement in the semi might REALLY be a problem for her.

Romania: Theodor. Theodor please. He’s wearing a bright yellow short suit with pikachu socks, the staging is over the top in a very tacky and not even fun way, it all seems very confusing. He is actually EIGHTEEN, by the way, not twenty, so all of this is even slightly more tragic and he has the song with one of the biggest ranges, especially if you don’t count Norway’s stupid whistle note. If he had twink vibes and were more stereotypically attractive he’d be safe, but he’s not, so he needs to stop acting like such a dweebus and he will not. I really do hope he grows and comes back with a better song and package.

Belgium: This continues to be “Your gay dad reflects on the 90s” and I am not complaining. He has someone vogue on stage! This is cute and I feel like my mom will vote for him.

Cyprus: A couple rough transitions here in the notes, I don’t know whether or not I think he’ll get it together because I don’t have many live performances to go off of. He’s giving Poland 2022 with the effects, so I hope it comes off different the night off.

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE REST OF SEMI 2

[arsuns-ramblings]

heeeeey new ask game that i'll take as a tag game except i'm the one starting the thread eheh

who is/are your comfort character(s)? i have a bunch but the main one is c!Tommy/ all of SBI (less Wilbur tho since everything ofc )

lighter or matches? matches are more dramatic i love that

do you leave the window open at night? absolutely not i hate that

which cryptyd being do you believe in? none and at the same time i don't don't believe in them, i'm like whatever maybe it's true

what color are your eyes? still brown

why did you do that? the game? bc i'm bored and i love to get to know people through tumblr games

hair-ties or scrunchies? hair ties

how many water bottles are in your room right now? one to drink, an old one i forgot to throw away and one for paint water

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? no coffee

would you slaughter the rich? eat the rich

favorite extracurricular activity? i used to do tennis but got bored of it, i'd like to take back horseriding tho

what kind of day is it? kinda nice it's the end of classes so we're doing fun things with the cool professors and my friends

when was the last time you ate? 10am some biscuits but i'm gonna go eat in like 1 hour

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? i LOVE it

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) i usually call my friend group "kids" and am kinda the dad friend so like yeah

can you drive? no :(

are you farsighted or nearsighted? nearsighted

what hair products do you use? like regular shampoo idk

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? absolutely

do you say soda or pop? soda who the hell says pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood? a lot of things that are in my parents garage

what type of person are you? idk what i'm supposed to say there- optimistic? creative? annoying lol?

how do you feel about chilly weather? cordially i hate it i'm a sun kind of person

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? listening to music and talking probably

perfume/body spray or lotion? none i hate the feeling of lotion and have a very hard time with smells so perfume is like hell to me

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? i do scenarios all the time so idk

about how many hours of sleep did you get? 8hours it's better than last time

do you wear a mask? i used to when covid was a big thing but not anymore no

how do you like your shower water? hot, very hot (around 40°C)

is there dishes in your room? i think there's two bowls and a mug..

what type of music keeps you grounded? to concentrate i listen to metal (pentakill) and lound musics in general are grounding

do you have a favorite towel? yes a dark blue one with the sun on one side and the moon on the other side

the last adventure you’ve been on? that i would qualify as an adventure i went "camping" (like we went in a camping nott in tents but in a mobil-home) with friends for one of their birthday

is there a song you know every word to by heart? a lot i'm a musical theater fan

what’s your timezone? CEST

how many times have you changed your url? never changed it since i got here

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? as like one of my friends that i still talk to i don't even know if there's one- maybe one that i see once every summer

a soap bar that smells good? i use Dove soap i like not having a big smell in my soap

do you use lip balm? nah

did you have any snacks today? again the biscuits i had at 10am

how do you take your coffee? like my women ( i'm gay)

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? instagram, youtube, tiktok the usual

what’s your take on spicy foods? i like it as long as it's nott TOO spicy

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? i have a long list in mind, mainly politicians

can you remember what happened yesterday? yeah i went to school in the morning and then did nothing interesting the afternoon

favorite holiday film? i don't really watch holiday films

what was the last message you sent? "yeah clearly" to my friend that was asking if 30 plastic goblets was enough

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? that i remember off was at my godfather's birthday i tried orange juice and vodka and it was very good

can you skip rocks? a bit yeah

can i tag you in random stuff? anyone can tag me anywhere i love tag games and stuff like that

no pressure tagging: @atlantis-just-drowned @ace-cat-nerd @aceof-diamond @r0symaplemoth @red-hoods-left-sock @yeathisworks @i-dont-know-i-just-like-dragons and any1 else that wanna join ofc

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[bbboar]

weird asks: ALL hehehe

chaotic good, i love it!!

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Dont rly have comfort characters but during the 2020 lockdowns Breq Imperial Radch was my comfort character bcs i was going through some shit and she was a force of nature and justice Basically i get why Seivarden was down bad.

lighter or matches? Dont smoke

do you leave the window open at night? Absolutely not. It does not close properly and theres spiderwebs outside!

which cryptid being do you believe in? None of them but love to hear stories

what color are your eyes? Brown

why did you do that? What?

hair-ties or scrunchies? Ive never used a scrunchy so i cannot judge effectively

how many water bottles are in your room right now? Only one (i have 2 metal water bottles, one for home and another for work)

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? Depends on the season! Hot for winter but cold for summer.

would you slaughter the rich? i understand the craving for violence but personally i think it would be more torturous to have them watch as their wealth is redistributed and they have to live like normal people and work and have a budget and shit lol Like i know i doesnt sound bad but the way some of these people live....theyd be crying screaming shitting throwing up etc

favorite extracurricular activity? Girl im 27, i dont go to school anymore. All my activities are extracurricular

what kind of day is it? Thursday. Actually its after midnight so its Friday now

when was the last time you ate? Like 5 hours ago, i had some chocolate

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? Yeah!!!

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) no

can you drive? No but god do i need to learn to make my life easier

are you farsighted or nearsighted? Neither to my knowledge

what hair products do you use? Lmao none?? Unless im curling my hair and using hair spray. Oh i also use a hair mask each time i shower.

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? omg of course, bestie!

do you say soda or pop? Im Australian, i say fizzy drink

something you’ve kept since childhood? I have a sonic tshirt that ive had since i was 12 years old and i will not throw it away until it comes apart

what type of person are you? Vampire coded werewolf

how do you feel about chilly weather? I get sad when the weather starts getting colder bcs summertime is my favourite, but after that transition period, i think its fun to go into cozy mode! I love my big comforting jackets and my oodie and having tea every day.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? Looking at the starts, laughing, having deep conversations.

perfume/body spray or lotion? Personally i dont use perfume or body spray. The only lotion i use is moisturizer bcs my skin is dry

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? So many of them, lets not get into it

about how many hours of sleep did you get? Yesterday? Probably ~7

do you wear a mask? Yeah although not as much as i used to ngl

how do you like your shower water? Warm.

is there dishes in your room? Nope. The most there is at any given time is 1 tea mug and maaaybe a plate if ive had a snack or smtn

what type of music keeps you grounded? This doesnt apply to me

do you have a favorite towel? Not really?

the last adventure you’ve been on? Took public transport to an area id never been before last week. To me thats an adventure lol

is there a song you know every word to by heart? Yeah, theres a bunch where as soon as they start, ill know all the lyrics and be able to sing along but if the song isnt playing? Head empty.

what’s your timezone? Australian Eastern Standard Time

how many times have you changed your url? Over 5 for sure

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? Damn i think ive known Kieran Teeniepaws for 10+ years (Kieran if youre reading this sorry for not tagging you, this post is sooo long)

a soap bar that smells good? I dont use bars of soap??? I dont find them that practical. But ive sniffed a lot of them in shops and like 80% of them smell rly good

do you use lip balm? I have to bcs my acne medication gives me super dry lips

did you have any snacks today? Yeah i had some chocolate after dinner

how do you take your coffee? I just have a regular latte no sugar unless its more bitter than im used to. Then 1 sugar

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? Twitter lol, podbean, spotify, youtube and as of recently pokemon go

what’s your take on spicy foods? i love spicy food! i actually bought some sriracha the other day bc i missed having it

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? who are you? The fbi? Im not going to tell you

can you remember what happened yesterday? woke up, took the bus, went to work, kept thinking about touchstarved (game) while at work, tried to play some sneaky pokemon go during work bcs i ran out of pokeballs and needed to spin the local pokestop to get more, went home, made dinner, made a touchstarved thread on twitter, went to sleep

favorite holiday film? Not to be a grinch but i dont like holiday films and im sooo sick of the xmas films that come out every year.

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? Pretty sure i was 14,i had a glass of wine and fell asleep almost right after lol

can you skip rocks? I think its fun to do but i am bad at it

can i tag you in random stuff? If youre a stranger? No. If youre a mutual, sure! Go ahead.

[the1975attheirverybest]

You're right about youth being the catalyst for change but question is whether that change is positive or negative

Constructive criticism is important because things only seem to be getting worse rather than getting better .the idea was to leave the world in a slightly better position for the next generation than how we inherited it

Gabor mate talks about how we live in a toxic society that breeds mental health issues.and i think gen z is partly to blame for that.They are technologically savvy but also technologically dependent. These apps were meant to foster better relationships but instead we are getting higher levels of anxiety disconnection and depression than before

Their idea of change is to ban books they disagree with, cancel people they dislike and throw paint at priceless paintings to protest against climate change

I totally agree with you that being technologically dependent is not as positive as we like to think it is, sometimes. But I don’t know if the blame is squarely on the shoulders of gen z for that. I think it would be fair to say that none of us, regardless of generation, ever expected technology to be so totally present in our lives. Like, when the internet was first invented, the idea of something like Instagram would’ve blown our fuckin marbles. Hahaha.

But that’s true of any kind of “new technology” not just social media. It’s the exact same problem we had with atomic weapons. We were just so excited by the possibility that such a thing could potentially be invented that we rushed to make it happen and didn’t think about the ethical, psychological, social, or environmental effects. Then we ended the lives of a bunch of innocent people and went “well maybe that was a shit idea” a bit too late. Technological advancements rarely ever come with a humanistic handbook that teaches us how to handle them properly. Sadly, we only ever discover the negative when it’s too late. That’s what happened with social media. We kept saying to ourselves “omg imagine being able to connect with friends, family members, and even strangers, on the other side of the globe! How exciting!” A few decades later: Twitter. I think we can all agree Twitter is a miserable black hole, lmao.

I think Gen z holds the burden because they’re the generation who’s lived enough on this stuff to start showing it’s more long term effects.

Also, I feel like it’s not entirely their fault. The people who are banning books and making these shit decisions are (say it with me everyone) old, rich, straight white dudes. Who, if more of gen z could/ would vote, wouldn’t be in charge anymore. Like, the Supreme Court making the decision about abortions on behalf of all women in the US? A bunch of old white dudes (and Clarance Thomas :( shame on him) the persistent willful ignorance about climate crises? Old straight white dudes? Gun lobbyists blocking any change to fun safety laws? Yup, old straight white dudes.

Who’s trying to do something about it? Greta Thunberg, the March For Our Lives kids, etc. the kids :-)

That said, I do think that sometimes gen z wayyy overdoes it with some stuff. Like “woke culture” and “canceling” people. Ends with society treating Harvey Winestein with the same level of anger they treat Matty Healy, lmao. Like, no, learn to have some critical distance. There’s a difference between an off-color joke and a fuckin sexual assault. That’s why I say some youth culture tends to be an “overcorrection” or reaction to what came before it. They saw that older generations never spoke up, so their solution to be speaking up. Constantly. About everything. With the same level of investment. Whether or not they qualify as experts. Etc. and, yeah, these are the things that gen z does need to reflect on and decide where to go with. But, the rest of it….I’m afraid my generation, and the ones before it, are sort of guilty for putting those kids between a rock and a hard place. They were born into these shitty circumstances and didn’t even stand a chance, lol.

My examples happen to be US-based cuz that’s just where I live, but it seems like Brexit, French nationalism, etc have parallel trajectories in Europe as well. I’m just using things I see everyday as an example.

[gumpwitch]

The Eldest Ten: An Essay On Tangible Deities

I’ve been thinking a lot about gods and devotional practices lately, and recently established my personal faith and tradition. So, here’s my little blurb on that process for your consideration.

The Eldest Ten

Gods.

A term, a concept, an idea that has plagued and enchanted humanity since the dawn of our time. A question as much as it is an answer: Who made these things? Gods. Who gives life to the world? Gods. Who was here before we were? Gods. Who will remain after our demise? Gods.

As a witch, I am constantly surrounded by differing ideas and theories and beliefs about deities. What it means for something to be almighty, to be sacred, to be above or without. The wonderful thing about occultists and practitioners and witches is that all of us are right and all of us are wrong all at the same time.

But knowing that all belief systems are valid in the eyes of each practitioner does nothing to confirm one’s own belief system. For years after delving into the craft, I agonized over the question of whether or not I believe in deities at all. I had come out on the other side of my adolescent atheism, wherein I shucked off the suffocating bonds of my Protestant upbringing. The idea of some unseen being in the sky dictating what was good or bad in my life filled me with rage and rebellion in those days, and I was more apt to believe there was no such thing in a world where cancer and mass shootings and stillborn babies existed.

But, as I found, there was still a deep yearning to believe in something. There was almost a kind of peer pressure to have some sort of patron deity, especially in online spaces. Everyone else seemed to have one, as was evidenced by photos of bedecked altars to Aphrodite and Loki and Mary and Pan. Everyone else got to celebrate holidays and sabbats and feast days, as shown by posts of homemade bread plated on raw wood platters and candles arranged just so with boughs of greenery arranged around their bases and chalices of wine left as offerings.

In the words of The X Files: I wanted to believe.

After all, what is a life without structure? What is another year on this planet without something to mark the passage of time and the natural progression of the seasons? What does it mean to be a magical practitioner and not have a source for that magic, that power, that something more?

So, like a frantic chef, I started throwing things at the wall in a desperate attempt to make something stick. In the back of my mind, I had placed a sort of unfair qualifier onto this exercise: if deities were “real”, then I would be able to commune with one or stumble upon a pantheon that felt right. Only in this would I be able to confirm that my magic was also real. Whether I meant to or not, I placed this bias on my investigation. If one was not true, then neither was the other.

Thus began my many disappointments. I drew tarot cards and invited communication through dreams and pendulums and signs from the natural world. I watched stars and whispered my wishes to fireflies. I kept my eyes and ears peeled for symbols and references in everything. Surely, I thought, if I ask, it will happen. I just had to be diligent.

But nothing ever came of it.

After months of waiting and searching and trying, I just felt like an imposter. Maybe I was doing this all wrong from the start. Maybe all I was doing at my altar was lighting a bunch of candles and talking to myself, accomplishing nothing. I felt jaded and unseen.

Matters were not helped by the fact that the “mainstream” deities were all from European cultures - lands of my ancestors, sure, but places I have never and likely will never see in my lifetime. There was no personal connection to Celtic mythology or the Greek gods of lore. I did not ask to be born in America, where my cultural identity is so deeply divorced from that of the people who came across the sea so long ago to colonize this land. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that true magic and true faith could only be based on those ancient beliefs and myths that had been trodden over and over since time immemorial. To claim to hold power and not belong to those “original” fonts of mysticism was, in my mind, to forever be a sham.

But time went on. I read more books, including Aaron Oberon’s Southern Cunning and John Halstead’s Godless Paganism, a collection of essays and excerpts from others who struggled with the question of divinity. I stopped focusing so much on broader, intangible concepts and began rooting myself more firmly in something I used to parrot mindlessly in my Asshole Atheist days: If I can see it and touch it and feel it, it’s real.

My manner of thinking shifted. I thought more on the fragility of the human race, the impermanence of our species. Like a bad case of dandruff, this planet will eventually shake us off. We are here for now, but not forever. Gods, as we know them, were invented. They did not exist before man, and they will cease to exist after the last man who knows them has died. Much like Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, deities truly rise and fall with time. Some have more staying power than others, but at the end of the day, when there are no more humans, there will be no more gods.

The next leap from this conclusion, then, is obvious: the only things truly sacred, truly real and worthy of worship, are the things that were here before man and the things that will be here long after man is gone from this planet. While reading the essays in Godless Paganism, I came across one by Steven Posch that struck me right to my core. It is incomplete and imperfect, but it laid the foundation for what I now call my personal cosmology. Chief among the ideas he posits are that things are gods themselves. It was largely this passage that lit a fire in me:

Twelve

Each of us knows them intimately already,

being the ground of every birth:

Earth, mighty mother of us all;

Sun, splendid in royal self-immolation;

Moon, queen of witches, threefold mistress of fate;

Storm, called Thunder by the ancestors;

Sea, the fish-tailed lady of the deep;

the winged Winds, wide-faring;

Fire, youngest elder, fallen from heaven;

the Horned One, master of animals -

ourselves among them -

and Green his firstborn brother, lord of lead and tendril.

Reading this for the first time felt like waking up. Of course, I suddenly thought. Of course the gods are simply the fact of themselves, of their existence, whether man wills or wants it or not.

After all, is it not at least a little condescending to see ourselves (or the image of ourselves) as masters and embodiments of these things? As if a man could ever fully encompass the wrath and raw power of the ocean. The name Poseidon means nothing in the wake of a squall, of a hurricane, of a tsunami. What woman could ever bring forth and support as much life as the Earth on which we live? Demeter, Isis, Gaia - none can compare to the real thing.

And why should they? Why have we become so infatuated with mythos and archetypes and stories? These are part of us, yes, but they all pale in comparison to the lived experience of lightning flashing across the sky, of the heat of a fire pressing close to your skin, of looking up at the full moon and feeling something in your chest ache. Must there be some amorphous thing that is vaguely human-shaped behind those sensations? Can a fire not simply be a fire, can the stars not simply be stars, and in that simple, improbable, incredible existence, not also be gods?

Part of what makes deity-centric systems powerful is that they are based on faith. They say to us, “We have little to no material proof that these things are real. Reality comes with belief.” I won’t argue against that, but it is simply not for me. I distrust things made by mortal hands, things that depend entirely on our meager existence in order to exist themselves.

But my gods? My gods don’t need me. My gods don’t inherently depend on or care about anything I do or don’t do. My gods simply are, whether I worship them or not. The trees grow, the Sun shines, the Wind blows, and none of it needs my permission or attention to do any of it. If I died tomorrow, none of them would cease to exist because my knowledge of them died with me. They are the true omnipotent forces in the world. They see all, know all, shape all.

While I am alive, however, a relationship with these gods exists. I can choose, as a person with free will, to ignore that relationship. I can choose to be mindless to how my habits and lifestyle affect these very real and very alive deities. In this, I am complicit in their wounding, and therefore not deemed worthy to wield any forces beyond what any mundane person already can. I’m just another parasite.

But that’s not good enough for me.

So I acknowledge those relationships. I humble myself. I tell these almighty ten: “I am nothing without you. You are everything without me. I submit unto you. I work to keep you healthy, keep you sacred, keep you where you belong.” And I perform my acts of service.

My altar does not hold offerings, because my offerings are in the world. To the Earth and Green Brother, I offer my tending. I plant seeds and pick up waste. I try to right the balance that has been so thoroughly altered and assaulted by those before me. To the Wind, I offer seed for the birds. To the Horned Brother, I offer food for the animals in my care. To the Moon, the Stars, the Sun, I offer my reverence, my awe, my face turned to the skies.

In the end, all that agonizing and struggling for something other was pointless - however, it did finally help lead me to the truth I think I’ve always known, ever since I was a child. I grew up with a deep fascination and love for the world around me. I just had to find it again.

In deepest devotion to:

Sun

Moon

Stars

Storm

Fire

Wind

Earth

Water

Green Brother

Horned Brother

- The Gump Witch

[goldenheart-supremacy]

I've been waiting for this for so long!!!!

So get ready for a very detailed essay, I mean comment, because I love this so much!

Ps. This is a live comment react.

"Fine!" He resigns, throwing his hands up to the heavens. "But if your plan is "something, something, we win" again, I'm out. I'm so out. You're going to have to ask Todd for help"

Lol, Bal, don't be so cruel. As if you'd ever leave Ambs resigned to that fate.

Also, really love how you're referencing that line of Nimona for this scene. Totally perfect!

"Okay, so..." he starts, taking in a big breath of air. This is going to be long, and boring. Sometimes he's sorry for Ballister, who has to learn all of this things as they go, unlike him, who's been memorizing the rules ever since he learned to read. "The duels, right.

I really like the explanation of the duel. It's very good lore, great thing to imagine.

It also really helps the pacing, and it makes you kinda nervous about what happens next even though the info is not exactly something that would make you nervous. Just...

It's very good for pacing.

Ambrosius licks his lips, grabbing his boyfriend's hands and looking at him straight in the eyes. How wonderful they are, Ballister's eyes.

I love this. It's like... A commercial. Remember what I said about pacing? Well, this kinda helps the reader go "aww" if they felt nervous (like I did) when reading the narrative that was, again, very good for pacing.

"Too bad I'm already in love with what my allies would probably qualify as a disgraceful street rat" Ballister blushes, playfully shoving Ambrosius on the chest...."

When I say I went 'kyaaa' outloud while doing proofreading of essays for my students during a class and had to say "Oh sorry, I almost fell" as an excuse....

I am not kidding. This part is so cute and sweet.

^ Yes, it means I'm also multitasking. But it's a test lesson so I don't have to talk a lot anyway.

"That sounds... extremely complicated" cringing a bit ta the lengths people would go for a chance to figth with his boyfriend, Ballister grimaces. Bunch of weirdos. "I'm not some easy harlot, Ballister. You offend me. Of course trying marrying me is complicated. But, wait, now's where it gets interesting"

I don't know if you saw my short Aladdin AU post but... This is so Jasmine-coded behavior.

You go Ambi! Yeah, stick it to them. You ain't an easy prize to be won.

I love you for writing this part. It's so valid, for everyone and not just Ambrosius. It's great!

"I would sooner kill myself than marry Todd Disgusting Sureblade. Never. Nuh-uh. Not even if we were the last two men left in the planet. You know how some girls swear they can switch gays guys to the other team? I'm throughly convinced that Todd actually has the power to do so. Leave me alone with him in a room and I come out both a killer and ready to settle down with a woman. Hell, we'll have kids, even. Don't ever joke about that, Ballister. I'm going to have nightmares, tonight"

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST AMBROSIUS-HATING-ON-TODD RANT I'VE EVER READ KSKSKSKSKSKSKSK I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S SO WITTY AND IT'S SO IN CHARACTER!

Now, they both stare at her, identical sad smiles plastered on their faces. If Ambrosius is as good with people as he claims to be, then they already have her heart in the bag. They just need to get her brain on it. "And how can I help?" She asks, and both knigths know they've kit the jackpot in the instant her voice comes out. She sounds so much like a worried mother. Ballister feels slightly guilty, slightly wishful. "How may I aid you both, on this quest?"

I love this. I love how you wrote Queen Valerin. I wished she had more screentime. I wish we got a flashback of Bal remembering her fondly in a motherly moment flashback.

"We would never-" "We couldn't even be together! I'm just some commoner and he is..." "Don't talk about yourself like that" "Amber, this is not the moment to-" "I won't let you be mean to yourself in front of the Queen" The woman in front of them chuckles, amazed at their idiocy. They both blush even more, if that's possible. They suck at this whole "pretending to be single" thing. "You're adorable" she coos, and Ambrosius is ready to change his name and move towns, "You remind me so much of Derek and me, back when we were young"

Again. I. LOVE. VALERIN.

Ulitmately, I love how you wrote her. She's LITERALLY a Queen, if you know what I mean. Like... Movies of feminism should also show how a gentle ruler with elegance is at the same level of woman power as much as hardcore ass kicking ladies are.

Fuck this kid and his lack of self control.

LOL KSKSKSKSKSKKS THIS WAS SUCH A PERFECT ENDING ONE LINER

Ambrosius has no impulse control and I will stand by that until the very end.

TL;DR

You are awesome for writing this fic, OP and I hope you know it!

Ambrosius's (indirect) champion.

Find part one here

"It's oficial. You've gone crazy"

Ambrosius, who feels thrilled with his idea, scoffs. In a quick move, he drags Ballister down to the bed, pulling him by the wrists, making the boy's head fall directly in his own chest. Had this been practice, he knows he probably would've gotten a punch to the ribs in retaliation. But they are in private, they are just teens, and Ballister allows his boyfriend to drag him down.

"Don't call me that, babe" Ambrosius whines, while Ballister tries to regain some of his dignity by lifting himself up with his arms to establish some sort of distance. "I'll cry"

"Ambrosius, this is not funny" finally managing to get on his hand and knees, Ballister stares down at his boyfriend, frowning. "This is incredibly concerning and serious"

Ambrosius pouts for a second, and giggles to himself after giving Ballister a quick kiss on the lips. He is scared, oh, so scared. He wants to cry and run and scream and punch and the best alternative he has right now is to be pretend to be charming with his boyfriend, but every good thing must come to an end, and he has to face reality.

They sit down, again, in the bed, face to face. Ambrosius's sudden burst of energy leaves as fast it came, leaving him with a dull sense of... confusion. Nothingness.

"You haven't heard my plan" he tries to grin at his boyfriend, hoping that his eyebags aren't nearly as big as he feels them be. "Come on. Let me tell you, and then you can say no"

They look at each other for some seconds, and Ballister gives in, the second Ambrosius brings out his best card on the whole deck: tears.

Crying on command is a pretty useful skill to have, Ambrosius's come to find out. He doesn't go all the way out with it, no this time, but he knows his eyes are watery and his nose is red. Ballister looks away, groaning.

"Fine!" He resigns, throwing his hands up to the heavens. "But if your plan is "something, something, we win" again, I'm out. I'm so out. You're going to have to ask Todd for help"

Ambrosius gasps, offended at the barbarity his boyfriend just said. How dares he? The old "fuck it, we ball" plan has never let them down, but this isn't the moment to bask in the glory of all of their past accomplishments.

"Okay, so..." he starts, taking in a big breath of air. This is going to be long, and boring. Sometimes he's sorry for Ballister, who has to learn all of this things as they go, unlike him, who's been memorizing the rules ever since he learned to read. "The duels, right. Not all noble families train their kids to be knigths. Not all knights are heirs, either. If you have an older sibling, then you're probably not heir. Follow me?"

Ballister, who loves learning about new stuff, even if it's nobility rubbish, nods along, "Follow you"

"I am the sole heir of the family, so I have obligations. You already know this. One of those is to keep up alliances and all that stuff"

Nodding again, Ballister chuckles a bit. Of course he knows. He's been there to witness every single event that's happened ever since Ambrosius finally turned old enough to go to balls and shit as an actual member of the upper society, or whatever it is they call themselves.

"We have many allies made by old marriages, debts, whatever. If one of them asks something of me, then it usually really just falls on me to say no. Unless they put up conditions"

Ambrosius licks his lips, grabbing his boyfriend's hands and looking at him straight in the eyes. How wonderful they are, Ballister's eyes.

"Now is when it gets kinda hard, so bear with me. Mom's been saying no to everyone who wants to form an alliance by marriage. Don't make that face, Bal. It's not really a lovely affair as much as it is legal papers, for a lot of people. But if all of my allies get along and decide to put conditions on me, then we're obligated to answer"

"That's so, so bullshit"

"It really is. Specially because, since we have so many allies, they usually never get along for long enough to actually make and write a demand, but I guess I'm just that hot and everyone wants to bed me. Too bad I'm already in love with what my allies would probably qualify as a disgraceful street rat"

Ballister blushes, playfully shoving Ambrosius on the chest.

"They would get a heart attack, don't you think? If they knew about me and you"

"They would get a heart attack if they knew I'm gay. They would have a heart attack if they knew I'm a tube baby because my mom loathes my dad. They would have a heart attack if they knew I eat chocolate cake sometimes. Don't feel special" shrugging, Ambrosius continues, "So, they are threatening to call off a lot of agreements and stuff if I don't answer their demands, which, like, mature much? Not my fault all of their heirs look like horror creatures.

So, Mom, being Mom, agreed to have me answer with a tournament, because apparently she believes I'm Hercules or something. I would traditionally have to fight with every single person who asked for my hand in a stupid sword duel and bla bla bla, but that would take forever, Bal. So, they came to an agreement. People fight each other, and whoever wins, figths with me"

"That sounds... extremely complicated" cringing a bit ta the lengths people would go for a chance to figth with his boyfriend, Ballister grimaces. Bunch of weirdos.

"I'm not some easy harlot, Ballister. You offend me. Of course trying marrying me is complicated. But, wait, now's where it gets interesting"

"Now? Just now? This whole thing is nuts"

Ignoring him, Ambrosius takes two pillows and places one if front of the other. "There are people who can fight me and expect to win" he says, pointing to one of them. "And people who can't but want the marriage"

"So, a lot of families don't have knights. A lot of knigths aren't heirs. Even if a family has a heir that would marry me, they could just be a scholar or something. All knights are nobles..."

"Except me?"

"Yeah, well. Most knigths are nobles, but a bunch of nobles aren't knigths. Like the Queen and such."

"And this is important because...?"

"Because families are going to choose champions, now. Wich means, they can just find a random good figther who's willing to commit to life to me and make them fight. Mom tried to make it so only noble heirs could enter, but they said no. You only have to represent a noble family, and there can only be one fighter per family. Wich means, you can simply sign up and beat everyone up!"

"You forget a very small but important detail, Amber" Ballister sighs, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. "I'm neither noble nor a heir, and no family is going to choose me as a champion. You might actually need help from Todd ok this one"

Ambrosius suddenly comes to a stop, blinking.

"I would sooner kill myself than marry Todd Disgusting Sureblade. Never. Nuh-uh. Not even if we were the last two men left in the planet. You know how some girls swear they can switch gays guys to the other team? I'm throughly convinced that Todd actually has the power to do so. Leave me alone with him in a room and I come out both a killer and ready to settle down with a woman. Hell, we'll have kids, even. Don't ever joke about that, Ballister. I'm going to have nightmares, tonight"

Cackling, Ballister pretends to apologize, while his boyfriend rambles about how horrifying it would be, to be around Todd every day of his life, and how death would be mercy if anyone ever was to ever be on that situation.

Ambrosius finally stops, clearing his throat to stop Ballister from dying of asphyxiation, "With that settled, I would like to point out that my family can't choose you because I have to represent the Goldenloins. Not because I don't want. But there's still someone, Bal. Someone who's childless, a noble, and probably would love to help us out in this"

Ambrosius's next words convince Ballister of the fact that, yes, Captain Gloria surely drank too much while she was pregnant, because there's something deeply wrong with this man's brain.

"We're going to ask formal help from the Queen. And we're going to do it right now"

He should've stayed at that orphanage. Things would've been easier.

˗ˋ ♡  ˊ˗

Ballister fixes his shirt, and then does so again. Next to him, Ambrosius is going a pretty good job at pretending to be calm, but his lips are going to start bleeding in any second if he keeps munching on them like that, and his hands shake ever so slightly.

"If the speech doesn't work out" he whispers to Ballister, while they walk down the marble corridors of the palace, "then you put on your best puppy eyes. Pout and all. I'm bringing out the waterworks. Ugly crying, if needed. Gloreth, I'll fake-faint if it comes to that"

Ballister pretty sure that the speech they wrote and tried to memorize on the two hours it too to get here (asking for permission at the institute, getting into a carriage, arriving at the palace, getting the secretary to make them the next meeting using Ambrosius's status) isn't nearly good enough to convince the Queen to get involved in this mess, so he tries to remember the saddest moments in his life. There's a lot. He definitely feels ready to cry and beg.

They reach the Queen's office (because, apparently, queen's do have offices) and are welcomed by two palace guards that open up the wood doors for them to come in.

The place is wonderful. Not rich-people wonderful, it's soul-crushing life-changing beautiful instead. Everything is so white and golden and blue and shiny and ethereal.

In the middle of it, the Queen is seated, smiling softly at them. They both kneel down, knigth training and actual admiration manifesting in the gesture.

"Gentlemen" she greets, placing her joined hands on her desk, and they stand up straight, standing still, waiting for orders, always ready to obey to her, "you may sit down"

They do so.

Ballister's bones are trying to crawl out of his skin, and his whole face itches with nerves.

"Thank you, for receiving us in such short notice, Your Majesty" says Ambrosius, voice full with feeling. He's better at the whole "being social" thing.

"It is refreshing to see young faces on the palace grounda every once in a while" she responds, in that weird way formal people talk when they're trying to say something without saying it. "And I am honored to have two of my best cadets in here today. I have to ask, though, as to what situation do I owe the pleasure of such a distinguished visit? Specially a dual one"

"The honor is all ours" adds Ballister, who doesn't want to feel useless in the conversation, even if he feels incredibly out of place in the dances the nobility follows when they talk, when they breath, when they live.

"We come here with a plead," explains Ambrosius, and he suddenly looks older. Serious, worried, solemn. His voice is deep, calm, "One that would benefit both of us, and for which we require your help."

The Queen hums softly, slightly rising an eyebrow. "What sort of plea my I aid you both in?"

"I don't want to get married" says Ambrosius, straight to the point. Ballister asked him, on the carriage, to be honest with this. He knows how... creative the Goldenloins can get when they want something. Plus, being bold will surely add to the element of surprise.

"Excuse me?" The Queen looks clearly put off at the words, loosing her cool demeanor for a second, "Come again?"

Seeing her eyebrows frown and her vocabulary change so abruptly, Ambrosius clears his throat, hiding a smile. Their plan seems to be going well.

"I don't want to get married" he repeats, enunciating every word, "And I'm being forced to engage in an obligated tournament for those purposes, Your Majesty"

He gives her a second to understand the words, to take the information in. In those seconds, Ambrosius remembers that one time he thought Ballister hates him back when they were twelve, and tries to pour all the sadness he feels on his voice.

"Of course, I presume Your Majesty is aware of how vicious and outdated some traditions are" quickly, he glances down at Ballister, who's also putting on his best kicked lost helpless puppy performance, "but I am still subjected to them."

The Queen is the Queen, but even her can't change the rules that noble families uphold each other to. She nods, looking worried. Bingo.

"That's why I want to help him" cutting in, Ballister stammers a bit, like Ambrosius instructed him to. For extra empathy points, he said, "We've come up with a plan. It's not perfect, but..."

"... it's the best we can do" Ambrosius finishes, following his cue.

Now, they both stare at her, identical sad smiles plastered on their faces. If Ambrosius is as good with people as he claims to be, then they already have her heart in the bag. They just need to get her brain on it.

"And how can I help?" She asks, and both knigths know they've kit the jackpot in the instant her voice comes out. She sounds so much like a worried mother. Ballister feels slightly guilty, slightly wishful. "How may I aid you both, on this quest?"

"We need someone to sign me in" Puppy eyes. Puppy eyes. Think sad thoughts. "No one else but you can do it, Your Majesty. I am a commoner, and the families despise me"

They're not even lying. Most nobles do despise Ballister. They're just... putting some heart onto the delivery of the news.

"He's my last resource" Ambrosius is about to cry. Teary eyes, red cheeks, trembling words. Such an actor. "My mommy can't do it because she's my own family, and I am so scared, Your Majesty. Marriage is the least of my concerns"

He leans in to her, even if it's only the three of them in the room.

"Just thinking about what someone with control over me could ask for gives me chills," and, to spice some politics in, he whispers to her, "there's so many things my mom would give over for me. Money, land, jews... Gloreth, even alliances, or debts. There's a lot of power tied into the family, and if I'm allowed to be honest, I fear for what would happen if all that rested in the hand of someone evil. Some villain. Some monster.

It's a well known fact that the Goldenloins match the royal family in influence, in power. They're probably a bit over them, if one were to actually measure the impact they have on the people, on the kingdom. Ambrosius couldn't care less about this knowledge, but the Queen should be able to recognize a threat when it's in front of her.

She blinks once, twice. Ballister makes a show of giving Ambrosius a handkerchief, and he takes it with an apology for his horrible demeanor.

"I see why you've come to me," she finally speaks up, eyes fixed on them, "and I am glad that you did. This is an urgent matter. I am deeply troubled to see you in this state, Goldenloin"

Ambrosius mutters a quick thank you, still "too emotional" to talk.

"And I am glad to learn that the bond between my star knights is as strong as the walls that protect this kingdom. You both are what keep my people safe, after all"

Ballister's never been so proud to be compared to a wall as he is right now.

"To show you my gratitude for your hard work, I will agree. Ballister, you can fight in representation of the noble house of Elpis, as my champion. Any armor or other supplies needed will be provided, too"

Thank Gloreth and every single saint ever for Ambrosius's manipulative ass. He's so in love with this dramatic wreck of a man. Thank Gloreth and every single saint ever for Queen Valentin's tendency to go against tradition. He's so grateful to have been born under her regency.

They both thank her, deeply, multiple times, bowing their heads. Ambrosius even sheds some tears and wipes them off with urgency

Then, the Queen stands up, and they follow suit. She shoots them a question, one that they didn't come prepared for,

"You both are aware, however, of how the nature of your... bond, could affect this tournament?"

Stop. Pause. What did she say? Whatdidshesay?

They look at each other, completely out of course. This time, she is the one with the upper hand. And they're so fucked. Seeing as how their silence continues, she speaks, again

"Your romance" she clarifies, and Ambrosius's choke on his own saliva isn't pretended. Ballister goes so red his face burns, and, out of instinct, he hits his boyfriend on the back to try and stop his death. He hits a little too hard, but it works.

"Excuse us?" Screeches Ambrosius, high pitched, "Our what?"

"You must be confused" says Ballister at the same time, feeling like a very dumb caged animal. They didn't plan this. He's got no idea what to do next. "Ambrosius and I don't-"

"We would never-"

"We couldn't even be together! I'm just some commoner and he is..."

"Don't talk about yourself like that"

"Amber, this is not the moment to-"

"I won't let you be mean to yourself in front of the Queen"

The woman in front of them chuckles, amazed at their idiocy. They both blush even more, if that's possible. They suck at this whole "pretending to be single" thing.

"You're adorable" she coos, and Ambrosius is ready to change his name and move towns, "You remind me so much of Derek and me, back when we were young"

She brings up dead husband, as if this isn't weird enough already.

"Surely, you know that if people take notice of this, and Ballister does end up winning — like I have faith he will — they could argue that the tournament has been rigged"

They look at each other, bewildered. They never even considered that possibility. The Queen chuckles some more.

"I trust you would come up with a way to deal with that problem, Mister Goldenloin. You mother's always had her way with schemes and theatrical dramas, and I am fairly sure that I just witnessed one of your plans in action, didn't I? Was any of what you said true, cadets?"

Of course. Of course. The Queen, who's probably been working alongside Captain Gloria her whole life, would notice. Perhaps they didn't plan this as neatly as they could've. But they had less than a day to come up with the whole thing, so.

"I really, really don't wanna get married or have to obey to someone" argues Ambrosius, pouting. "Specially to some older weirdo"

"And I really don't want him to marry or have to obey to someone" agrees Ballister, apologetic. "Specially some older weirdo"

After considering them for some seconds, she nods again, agreeing to keep her word. Seeing no point on subtlety, they hug each other quickly, to celebrate.

"We're going to give back every penny you spend on Bal in this whole thing, swear to Gloreth" promises Ambrosius, one hand drapped along his boyfriend's back, "when he wins, I'm throwing a party, and you are so invited", quickly, he adds, "uh, Your Majesty, ma'am"

She lets them go after discussing some minor details, and they beam all the way out of the palace.

"I told you my plan would work" Ambrosius puffs out his chest like a proud peacock once they're on the carriage back to the institute, texting Gloreth knows who on his phone, "We're irresistible"

"She only agreed because you asked her. No one says no to a Goldenloin, Amber"

Ballister stretches, already tired. This whole thing has been draining. He's so ready to go back to the institute and join classes again. If this carriages hurries up, they might get there in time for sword training before lunch, his favorite part of the day.

"Talking 'bout Goldenloins..." trails off Ambrosius, playful smile painted on his lips, "what you say we go talk to my mom now?"

"Absolutely no way-"

"Too bad" he interrupts him, placing his hand over Ballister's lips, "already told her we're on our way. She asked to chefs to prepare us something tasty"

Fuck this kid and his lack of self control.